#get away from them and your quality of life will improve SO much

[firstkanaphans]

The end of this episode was heartbreaking enough from Sand’s POV, but from Ray’s? He spent a whole day falling in love, realizing for maybe the first time that he doesn’t need Mew. That he could travel the world with Sand, going to music festivals on every continent, and he could be happy. But then Boston comes along and gives voice to his inner demons, telling him he will never amount to more than this one unrequited crush. That no one will ever want him simply because Mew didn’t. That his crush on Mew will haunt him forever. I’m starting to think Ray’s friends are the sole reason he drinks. Ditch the whole lot of them, babe. You deserve better.

[ms-dead-inside]

Okay, but hear me out:

Murder baby Damian, but for whatever reason, his first attempt at Tim's life is put on pause, so they never have that interaction. Instead, before Damian can come up with a new plan, Tim (who's kinda excited he now isn't the baby of the family) offers to train him in detective work for when Damian finally gets the mantle of 'Robin' as a way to bond with him.

"Why train your enemy, Drake?"

"We're brothers, not enemies. Besides, Robin has always been a mantle to pass down. I'm certainly not going to keep it in my twenties or thirties. And other than Bruce, I'm the best detective in the family."

"Very well, Drake, I shall accept your tutelage for the time being."

Damian accepts, of course. Not only can he study Drake for his weaknesses, he will also improve his own skill set. It's worth the wait for Robin. By the time Damian's done, there will be no doubt that he is the superior bat.

Unfortunately, he actually grows fond of Timothy. While he will inevitably get close with Richard, just like in canon, Timothy is a breath of fresh air for when Richard is being too overbearing, especially when it comes to things like 'socializing,' and 'making friends.'

When his father dies, and Timothy declared him actually lost to time, Richard doesn't believe him, can't believe him, because the hope is too painful. Timothy still gives Damian Robin, because, "I'm barely holding on as Batman as it is. I can't handle Robin being gone for potentially months at a time, halfway around the world."

During his partnership with Richard, truly becoming his brother-son, Richard introduces the ideas of pets to him. Damian loves animals, and having and taking care of a creature that could potentially survive on its own, but will have a much better quality of life under his care, speaks to him. He has Alfred and Titus and about half a dozen other stray animals that usually stay for about a week while he nurses them to health at any given moment, but he feels like he should officially have another pet.

Que the whole thing with his grandfather, and Timothy getting kicked out of the top of a skyscraper. He comes home with proof, and the Justice League brings his father home. And as Dick basically refuses to let anyone leave the mansion for the foreseeable future, Damian realizes several facts:

1.) Timothy is a human, and humans are animals.

2.) While Timothy has somehow survived until now, he wouldn't recognize self-care if it slapped him in the face.

3.) Timothy's quality of life will improve if someone is taking care of him because he cannot be trusted to do it for himself. (Is it a coincidence that he loses organs when he is away from the family? Damian thinks not.)

4.) Damian has gotten good at taking care of animals.

Ergo, Timothy is now Damian's pet. Tim doesn't know what to do and simply humors him. Besides, it's nice when someone actually bothers to give him a plate of foods that he likes when he gets hyper focused on work and forgets to eat. That, and while he is exasperated every time Damian tranqs him, those are still the best sleeps of his life.

Jason finds it hilarious. Damian doesn't understand Richard or his father's reactions.

"Damian, Tim can take care of himself."

"Barely. Father, now that I am in charge of his sleep schedule, there aren't as many dark circles under his eyes. Even Alfred has commented that Timothy consumes less caffeine."

"Damian, he can't be your pet."

"Why not?"

"Tim's your brother; he's family."

"So are you saying that Alfred and Titus aren't family?"

[astrolovecosmos]

How to Get in Touch with Your North Node

Aries NN: Play more games or join more competitions. Make a list of YOUR wants and needs. Go see a movie alone or do more errands alone to exercise independence. Allow yourself to experience anger and passion. Work on healthy anger management tools and skills. Embrace change and the new. Take action more. Don't be afraid to be a little more impulsive. Make a vision board. Focus on your interests from when you were much younger.

Taurus NN: Do some spring cleaning - and even more so, throwing away. Sit or lay on the ground more. How can you enjoy or incorporate nature into your life more? Forgive yourself from times you were tricked, betrayed, or made an ignorant decision. Practice routine. Take time to disconnect from social media. Address your insecurities in a direct or even tangible way. Remember to see the beauty and strengths in yourself. Lean into resourcefulness.

Gemini NN: Try journaling. Read - read - read. Appreciate or accept your inner child, your flaws, your insecurities. If you can't be honest with a friend, partner, or family member reconsider your boundaries with them. Speak your mind more often. Be open to changing your opinions. Take technology breaks. Yet a meditation or self-care app may be useful. Explore different methods of self-expression. Speak as much as you listen and vice versa. Try something new often.

Cancer NN: Take your mental health seriously. Self-care is worth it. Cook a new recipe or learn how to cook. Practice self-awareness/introspection more often. Consider therapy or self-help books and media. Appreciating and finding strength in your soft side will be a needed challenge. Taking care of something even if it is a plant or pet can be fulfilling. Listen to your intuition. Practicing gratitude and giving can be helpful. Go where you feel safe!

Leo NN: Always schedule time for enjoyment, pleasure, hobbies, indulgence. Hike. Spoil yourself but be sure to spoil others too. Go out to more parties and events. Channel your passion and anger into productivity. Stretch and practice yoga. Do breathing exercises. Get up early more often. Make art - create something. Be open minded to romance and/or affection. Take pride in yourself and life.

Virgo NN: Practice more realism and/or humility. Take part in puzzles, riddles, and anything that uses logic or critical thinking. Tap into your society's common sense and norms that can be most helpful to you. Volunteer or take part in charities. Be part of a team somehow. Reexamine your relationship with work. Surprise someone you care about with a gift, favor, trip, etc. Recognize your talents and skills. Learn a new skill or work on improving a craft. Practice healthy eating and exercise habits!

Libra NN: Be more mindful and selective of who you befriend and date. Practicing self-love is a must. Return favors often. Spend more quality time with that person you haven't seen lately. Be open to frequent date nights, couples counseling, couple events, and double dates if you have a partner. Balance alone time with social time. Get in touch with your romantic and artistic side. Practice objectivity when you can. Don't compare yourself to others. Embrace independence but don't forget to also embrace giving and receiving in relationships.

Scorpio NN: INTROSPECTION NEEDED. Distance yourself from media or people that cause anger, frustration, or heavy sadness or doubt. Self-control is important to practice. Don't lie to yourself! Journal, maybe try a dream journal. Don't underestimate your intuition. Go out in nature. Try something new based on your hunches. Examine yours and others intentions closely. Celebrate the small wins. Get out of your head and get out of your own way. Focus on your goals. Practice and enforce self-respect.

Sagittarius NN: Don't be afraid to explore beliefs and ideals that are very different from yours. Practice independence. Take a few more risks. Give yourself a pep talk. Try power poses. Stick to your morals and your gut. Be honest. Look at the big picture more often. Knowledge is power should be your motto. Learn something new. Speak confidently. Practice authenticity. Try to be present. Make a plan to accomplish small goals and eventually move onto larger goals.

Capricorn NN: Speak up more in meetings! Try going for that promotion or position. Understand the power and importance of money and materialism. Practice self-control and self-discipline. Be more patient. Study or look into history, economics, investments, politics, or business. Work on your boundaries actively. Practice decisiveness when you can. Put yourself first responsibly. Question authority often. Make moves that are more thoughtful or strategic. Pay attention to who supports you and who doesn't. Avoid rushing. Work on trusting yourself.

Aquarius NN: Understand and accept other's intentions. Let go of unhealthy attachments. Practice independence often. Explore themes of rebellion and empowerment. Practice cooperation. Don't resist change. Materialism is not your friend. Try to find what inspires you and be around it often. Cultivating healthy friendships is important. Explore unconventional ideas. Face the unknown when you can. Look at the big picture. Laugh when you can. Practice more tolerance.

Pisces NN: Tapping into your beliefs and exploring spirituality or religion is a major theme. Embrace sensitivity, empathy, and kindness. Give when you can. Don't just relate to others - see yourself in them. Find beauty in yours and others' flaws. Take the scenic route. Practice self-reflection. Practice flexibility and leave behind energy-draining goals or pursuits that don't offer personal fulfillment. Idealism and positive thinking can be helpful at times. Honestly... get lost in yourself or even another sometimes, just remember to come back up to the surface.

[lua-magic]

Twelfth house and your spiritual powers.

Twelfth house is the house of "letting go", sacrifice, forgiveness, divine, charity and kindness. Wherever, your twelfth Lord goes, you can't expect anything from that house and you have to let go.

If twelfth Lord is in six, eight and twelfth, you need to get rid of all your negative thoughts, beliefs and blocks otherwise it will manifest in the form of physical and mental illness.

You must learn to forgive otherwise, you will suffer materially, mentally and physically..

You have to learn to control your mind and thoughts, otherwise you will keep creating for yourself negative circumstances and situations.

Twelfth Lord first house 🏠 you have to develop kindness and forgiveness.

If you can't forgive and sacrifice then it will become impossible for you to develop or succeed in life. First house is of personality and twelfth house is of let go, you can't be attached to someone or something, if you want to progress spiritually, physically and emotionally then you need to imbibe qualities of twelfth house in your personality like forgiveness, kindness and letting go.

Twelfth Lord in second House .

Don't accumalte things, let it go, more you focus on storing anything either, materially or emotionaly, it will trouble you.

So, detach from your material wealth and learn to give others, you will experience freedom in your life.

"Twelfth Lord in third and eleventh house" natives should not be attached to their desires.

You must learn to let go your attraction and desires.

More you obess over your attractions and desires more you feel suffocated.

Learn to "detach from your desires to manifest it."

If you have twelfth Lord in eleventh house, be mindful of your friends, make only spiritual friends, otherwise, twelfth Lord will take your friends away or push you into isolation.

Twelfth Lord in fourth House 🏠

You will suffer till you don't be spiritual, and let go things. Do meditation and involve in charity.

"Gratitude is the best Attitude" More you work on your mindset and attitude, more free and peaceful your life would become .

Twelfth Lord in fifth house 🏠

Fifth house is of knowledge, and twelfth house is of giving away.

Give your knowledge freely, more you educate, and distribute your knowledge and wisdom, more free you feel

Twelfth Lord in seventh House 🏠

Seventh house is of relationship, twelfth house is of devotion.

Be devoted to your partner, and don't expect instead give to your partner,( as twelfth house is of giving), more you develop patience in relationship, more peaceful your relationship would become.

Twelfth Lord in ninth House 🏠

More you give people, more charity you and more you follow ritousnes in your life, more "Lucky" you get in life.

Develop forgiveness, kindness and letting go, if you want your luck to be with you.

Want to be lucky?

By choosing compassion for yourself and them, you liberate yourself from the chains of resentment and open the door to healing and personal transformation. It's called the freedom of forgiveness; give yourself this precious and priceless gift.

God resides in heart of those where forgiveness resides .

"I love you, I'm sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you."

Above prayer will help you, when you want divine intervention in your life.

Twelfth lord in tenth house 🏠

Learn to work without expectations and give without expectations.

Either you go into spirituality and meditation or wherever, you work, stop expecting, work without any desires and expectations.

Free yourself from the expectations and any rewards, your tenth house will improve.

Focus in your work, and not on results or what and how much you get.

Twelfth house is of divine, when you want divine to guide you, and be with you,

Be thankful, because this pain can be the fuel that propels you toward a life better than you have ever imagined.

Be thankful to your most painful moments, without which you wouldn't have learnt lessons, and without lessons you wouldn't have grown.

Forgiveness frees you from anger and hatred that poisons your soul.

[that-student-that-has-homework]

Al-Haitham is a loving husband, maybe not romantic, but definitely loving.

Kaveh argues that you could (and should) have both. While you understood his point, you much preferred to be cherished sincerely than to be lavished with "romantic" gestures to entrap you.

Kaveh grumbles that you two really are a match for each other after that.

Al-Haitham is openly loving, though most people don't realize that. He defends your honor when you're not present, and demands you be treated with respect when you are. So much so that he has walked away from "important" or "urgent" matters because the person seeking his aid decided to slight you. It works well for him too: he doesn’t want to do more work than necessary. Of course when the matter is critical, rather than walk away he insists the person asking apologize for his transgressions.

Al-Haitham listens to you when you speak. Really listens. Even if his responses are abrasive as he puts his finger directly on the problem without remorse, at least he listened closely enough to identify it. He doesn't leave you to solve your problems alone either. He helps you lay out a plan, and even get started on the solution.

Even if you feel a little sore, you also feel relieved. Talking to Al-Haitham about your problems like popping a pimple really.

And talking to him about your passions? Magical.

He listens attentively most of the time and asks really informed questions. It terrifies you sometimes. However when you inevitably apologize for rambling, and ask if he was annoyed by you, or even try to end the conversation early to respect his time, he calmly reiterates, that you've nothing to apologize for, he would tell you if he was annoyed, and ask where you're going as he's enjoying this discussion with you a lot.

Al-Haitham upholds your boundaries dutifully. He's endured mockery, you know-you heard, for being so firm on ensuring that he does not cross them (with the exception being an immediate threat to your life or honor). When you were first learning how to establish them, and stumbling about, he patiently assisted, calling you out when you were being unreasonable or rather misunderstood how boundaries worked.

Al-Haitham is thoughtful. He will collect information that is useful to you and present it to you.

As someone who is very adept at caring for his wellbeing, he also has no qualms making sure you do the same. He might comment that it would be better to find a way to make meals at home, he will still go and get food from Lambad’s. You will have a meal plan discussion later when you’re less stressed.

Al-Haitham is generous with his spending, but not wasteful. What this means is: if he sees something that will improve your quality of life, he will buy it. He gets a little upset when you hesitate and don’t get yourself something that he knows would be useful to you. He has a cushy income for a reason.

He’s a man raised by his grandmother, he understands the cyclical nature of domestic labor and the toll it can take. He doesn’t expect anything and if he does he communicates his expectations. If you’re being crushed under the weight of work, he’ll gladly find a workaround: he didn’t marry you to serve him, he married you to be a part of his life.

Al-Haitham may not be the most overtly romantic, but he is overtly loving.

//———

For more Al-Haitham content: Tumblr MasterList

[prettieinpink]

5K SPECIAL | CREATING YOUR OWN GARDEN𝜗𝜚

This is a guide to make your mind like your own garden flourishing with plants, flowers and butterflies. Having a good mental mindset, and being in the right state of mind is essential to being the best version of yourself.

This guide is divided into four sections: mindset, self-care, mental wellness and emotional intelligence. I hope you can take away something useful and take care of yourself! 💖 

MINDSET

Your mindset can easily determine how you go through life. It influences how you feel, act, behave and your thoughts. When you have a poor mindset, it is going to be difficult to go through life, even if your life is easy. 

However, once we grow and improve our minds, it is easier for us to navigate life, improve our well-being and increase our chances of success. 

Before we get into mindset shifts, I want to explain how exactly you can implement them in your life. I feel like there’s so much talk about mindset, but no one exactly explains on how to implement them. 

IMPLEMENTING 

The first thing to implementing mindset shifts is making a conscious effort to be aware of your thoughts. If you want, practice mindful activities to improve your self-awareness of your thoughts. 

You have to be able to catch a thought in its passing and whoosh it away from your mind. If you don’t whoosh it away, those simple thoughts build each time which can soon turn into the way you think.

Secondly, after increasing your awareness, identify what exactly about your thoughts or mindset you’d like to shift, and what you would like to shift to.

Thirdly, is to completely immerse yourself in that mindset shift. The mind learns through repetition, meaning that repeating it enough will make your mind learn it. 

Set your mindset shift as your weekly intention, say affirmations, and prayer, read books on it, put a quote on your phone as your wallpaper, just make it so that mindset shift is constantly on your mind. 

Lastly, do small actionable things that reinforce that mindset shift. I recommend you do at least one habit every day for this. 

This is not the only method to implement mindset shifts, but for me, it’s the one that is highly effective. I recommend doing some research on your own, and making adjustments when needed depending on how you think. 

MINDSET SHIFTS

This whole part we’ll talk about the mindset shifts I think everyone should at least try to implement in their lives if they want to improve themselves. These mindset shifts are my absolute favourites and they improved the quality of my life. 

After each one, I’ll state a small habit you can incorporate that contributes to that shift. 

Live your life with your highest self in mind. 

This is more intentional living than an actual mindset shift, but still as important. Whatever you do throughout the day, consider if it aligns with your highest self. If not? Release it. Your highest self knows what's best for you, trust them. 

At the end of the day, reflect on your daily habits, which include all habits you did today whether they were ideal or not. What habits aligned with your highest self and which didn’t? The ones that didn’t, why? How can you change or remove this habit to get closer to your highest self?

Rejection is just redirection.

As someone who has gotten rejected from the things that they wanted and felt so lost in the pursuit of fulfilment, this mindset shift saved me. You have to stop chasing the things that aren’t meant for you if life has proved it isn’t.

While I’m not saying give up after the first try, but try to step back and assess the situation. If you are qualified and ready for this thing, then why is it still not yours? Because it isn’t meant for you. God is trying to nudge you into a different path, recognise his signs. 

To handle rejection better, look for the lesson(s) you’ve learnt, and the skills you grew and see if there is another area of life that you can apply them to. 

Keep yourself on a pedestal.

I am worthy so much to me. It sounds like a weird sentence, but you should start treating yourself like a treasure and avoid giving out that same treatment to most people because you have your soul, which homes itself in your body. Every day, you are living through this soul and body. 

So, why would you take care of someone else’s soul and body? You are never going to be the soul that lives in their body, or the body which homes their soul. Don’t neglect yourself in the priority of someone else. 

Practice setting boundaries with others and recognising when someone wants more than what you’re willing. 

You choose the life that you want.

You have choices and options every day to do things that will eventually have an outcome. Whether this outcome supports the vision of your dream life or not, all depends on how you choose to live your life now.  

I don’t have a habit with this one but keep in mind that absolutely nothing is controlling you, and your choices are of free will. Circumstances can change, but that is why we have to adapt and be flexible.

Fear is a step to success

If you’re not scared, you’re not doing it right. Fear can hold us back, but that is why we have to twist fear into a source of motivation instead. If we were always in our comfort zone, stepping back when we feel a sliver of fear, we allow fear to dictate our life and its course. 

You can’t be successful unless you do the uncomfortable. For this one, do something each day that scares you or makes you uncomfortable. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme, but simple things like exercising longer than usual or talking to someone who you wouldn’t imagine yourself with. Those little risks are so important. 

Embarrassment is not a real emotion 

This one is a bit controversial, but I do not believe in the concept of embarrassment. Yes, things can sometimes be awkward, but it is fully in your control if you want to feel ashamed or not. Being embarrassed only holds you back, and doesn’t allow you to live life to its fullest. 

I would recommend doing a small risk every day as well, but of things that would usually feel awkward. 

Progress over perfection/completion

Perfectionism which is allowed to be nurtured over time can create an avoidance mindset towards doing harder things in life. While we should strive for excellence in everything we do, we shouldn’t allow it to consume us. 

(the avoidance mindset is when we put off/avoid tasks that we believe to be out of our abilities, and so that completion of the task is poor quality/not done well.) 

This one is less common, but I know a few people who would not do a task if they knew it would not be fully completed in their desired time frame. However, each minute of work contributes to the results or completion of something. 

Every day, do one thing that will add up to the completion of your long-term goals. 

To welcome tomorrow, you have to let go of yesterday. 

Living in the past makes us neglect our present self. I’m not saying forget everything that’s happened, but never allow the past to consume your mind. Acknowledge that you’ve been hurt, you’re longing or you were happier. Then, release it. 

Journaling is the perfect way to stay in touch with the present. You can type it, write it, vlog, draw, or compose to journal. 

Everyone has their beauty.

This one helped me a lot with comparison. I saw beauty, not as a measure or a value of someone, but rather something that everyone has uniquely and it cannot be valued. I have my sense of beauty, and you have your beauty as well. We are two different people with unique features, traits and qualities, so our ‘beauty’ can’t be measured against each other. 

Define your beauty. You could be smart, feminine, book beauty or dark, flowers, creative beauty. You add your details to your beauty and never try to define someone else's. 

To conclude this section, your mindset is very powerful. To achieve your goals, work on your mindset. Also, don’t try to work on more than one mindset shift at a time. Implement one fully then work on the next one. It could be overwhelming if you’re doing more than one. 

SELF-CARE

The next chapter of this guide is about self-care. Self-care is important for maintaining balance in our lives and generally keeping ourselves happy. However, most people don’t understand the concept of self-care, so they just end up doing a bunch of random things and wondering why they don’t feel better.

Yes, you can coddle or pamper yourself when you want, but it is not self-care. While activities from these three things do overlap, do not confuse the terms with each other. 

Self-care is simply what it says. Taking care of yourself. Taking care of yourself looks different for everyone. My idea of self-care will be different to yours.

REDEFINING SELF-CARE.

When you imagine what self-care looks like, it’s typically someone else’s definition of self-care which has been reinforced in your mind. You have to redefine your idea of self-care to match your goals, energy levels and circumstances. 

Before you do, self-care is not always about taking a break. It seems that way, however, self-care can also be having the discipline to do the things that you don’t want to, but are good for you. 

Here are some questions to help you redefine your self-care:

What does self-care mean to you? Does that meaning align with your current values and needs? 

Do you have any negative associations or misconceptions of self-care? Why?

How do I feel in all areas of my life? (physically, mentally, spiritually, professionally). What areas need more attention and how can I improve that area(s)?

What activities bring me happiness, fulfilment and a sense of renewal? 

What tasks do I have to do, which are good for me but I hesitate in completing that task?

How would I like to feel after complementing my self-care rituals? 

Envision your life if it had complete balance and self-care incorporated. What habits would you be doing to support that vision? 

My idea of self-care is completing all of my non-negotiables, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, taking somewhat productive breaks and talking to others daily. 

THE SEVEN PILLARS OF SELF-CARE 

Self-care has seven pillars, which you all need to take care of to have a balanced life. However, balanced self-care does not mean equal attention to each pillar. It means that each one is up to the same standard of self-care you’ve put for yourself. So, you need to allocate your attention appropriately. 

MAJOR PILLARS 

Physical - The well-being of your body. 

Mental - The state of your mental health, mind and emotions. 

Spiritual - The strengthening of your relationship with God while nourishing your holy spirit. 

Personal - Doing things that bring you enjoyment and fulfilment + embracing your identity.

MINOR PILLARS

Social - Connecting with friends, family or even strangers.

Professional - Your work/school life. 

Environment - Keeping your space clean and extracting anything that holds you back. 

Major and minor do not add or take away the value each category has, it just means that major pillars may need more attention compared to the minor ones which may need less attention. Of course, you may need to focus more on a minor pillar, as self-care is individual to you. 

I would’ve added a list of things that you could do for each category, but I want you to think about what you need for each instead of relying on strangers with different lives for self-care. 

Maybe you need to focus on exercising and doing your hobbies more. Or you need to create a better work/life balance for yourself. It all depends on your values, needs and circumstances. 

MENTAL WELLNESS

Mental wellness is the state of our cognitive, emotional and psychological functioning. When we are mentally well, we can cope better with challenges, develop a habit of having positive thoughts, and greater happiness and improve most areas of our lives overall.

There are a lot of things that contribute to our mental wellness, and I most likely won’t have everything here. Just a little disclaimer as well, it is completely normal to have a fluctuating mental state especially when we are going through unfavourable change. 

DIGITAL MINDFULNESS

Social media is a huge part of our lives but is also the main factor of mental destruction. I’m not going to say delete all of your social media, but I want to introduce to you a few ways to mindfully consume and rules with managing screen time. 

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION

To consume content mindfully, go onto apps intentionally and know what your purpose is when using that app. For example, if you want to find new habits that you can do, you could search on Tumblr or if you want a quick break from something stressful you can watch an episode of something on Netflix. 

It doesn’t matter what the purpose exactly is, but the action of being intentional. 

After you consume what you want, download images, and screenshots, and take notes or any documentation of what you found/learnt. This is more so the information is remembered/used. 

Manage your notifications. You do not need notifications from every app. Except for messages and phones, I do not put notifications on my device. I believe that if something is important enough, I’ll remember to check my phone later without the help of a notification. 

Only consume quality content. It is so easy to consume content that has obviously been reposted or is blatantly spreading misinformation. Only consume from people who you trust and you’ve followed/subscribed to. While yes, you can explore but be very mindful when doing so.

You should be decluttering, organising and deleting on your devices routinely.  This reduces the amount of distractions on your phone and makes it more intentional. Only keep the things that align with your needs, values and goals. 

DIGITAL BOUNDARIES

Have rooms or zones in the house in which you’re not allowed to use any devices or the devices you choose. For example, the bed, bathroom, office, when you’re eating at the dining table, etc. 

An alternative is having a period of a day when device usage is not allowed. It could be right after you wake up, right before you go to sleep or just in the middle of the day. Either, I recommend you have a time or place in which device usage is not allowed.

While I encourage everyone to keep up with socialising with their loved ones and friends, I don’t support dropping everything just to talk to someone. E.g If somebody wants to text while you’re in the middle of a study sesh, just say you’ll talk later. 

MANAGING STRESS

Stress is an unwelcome yet common feeling we all have. No matter what’s on your plate, we tend to stress a lot, especially in a society that is going so fast and makes us feel like we’re falling behind. 

To manage stress, you need to be self-aware of when you feel stressed. A lot of people actually can’t recognise when they feel stressed, and I am one of those people. Instead, I rely on mental or physical signs that tell me I’m feeling stressed out. 

SIGNS OF STRESS

Unusual lack of motivation or discipline

Feeling tired constantly even if haven’t done anything exhausting

Inconvenience impacts you more

Overthinking about small things

Trouble with sleeping

Low appetite

Focusing is harder

Crying or feeling tearful over small things

This is not the complete list of symptoms, but these are the things I feel/do when I feel stressed. Stress will look different for everyone, so you need to be able to create your own list of signs when you feel stressed. 

CREATING A STRESS MANAGEMENT PLAN

Creating a plan helps you to be prepared to effectively address and cope with stress. It allows you to be more productive and improves mental health when you use this plan when needed. 

Here are a few steps to creating your own!

Identify stress triggers. What do you dread the most? What makes you feel drained? What do you overthink about? Answer these questions to figure out what triggers your stress.

Assess your coping strategies. Notice if you have any ways of coping that are self-destructive, as this only contributes to your stress. 

Choose 1-3 activities that are fun to you and are not self-destructive. These activities do not have to be productive or beneficial, but they have to make you feel relaxed and generally feel better

Choose one relaxation technique and one self-care activity. These are up to you, as we tend to neglect self-care relaxation when we’re stressed. 

Optional, but have one person who you can talk to when you’re stressed. When we are stressed, we tend to look at the smaller picture but talking to someone else helps us gain a greater perspective on the matter. 

PRETTIEINPINK’S EXAMPLE PLAN

(If doing something that is my stress trigger, slot a time in the day to do my plan.)

Journal about why I’m stressed 

Make a cup of strawberry and mango tea

Read a nice story while drinking tea

Guided stress meditation

Eat some fruits 

Another thing when creating you plan to not restrict yourself using time. Allow yourself to take as much time as needed to alleviate yourself of stress. 

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 

Being emotionally intelligent is a skill. It is the ability to understand, process and communicate emotions effectively. 

There are times when we do sometimes let our emotions take over and they dictate our actions, thoughts and words. This is why we need to build this skill, to get that control over our emotions back. 

Thinking before you speak is an oldie but goodie. What we say can drastically influence the current situation for better or for worse. If you think that what you might say is rude, offensive or crude, don’t say it at all. 

Also, stay quiet! I am all for standing up for yourself when being disrespected, but you need to recognise when someone is trying to rile you up... They WANT a reaction out of you. Most likely to use against you. Silently exit the situation instead. 

If you are someone who gets a lot of energy from big emotions like anger, dejection, sadness, and jealousy, try to channel that energy into something that requires you to have a lot of energy and is beneficial to you. Keeping that energy in until you blow up is a no-no.

Not everyone is trying to hold you back with ill intent. People’s previous experiences can influence the advice they give to you because they have your best interest at heart. They know that their method worked, which is why they’re advising it. These types of people don’t understand that there is more than one way, but they still love you.

Avoid prolonging emotions. When you’re sad, don’t listen to depressing music. When you’re angry, don’t consume ragefuel. It’s very easy in this age of consuming to amplify therefore prolonging emotions, but it holds us back. Process it, and move on.

Stop acting on a whim. Go where your heart takes you, but reflect on it and create a plan. When you do, you end up in unfavourable circumstances. The most common one is working so hard to get to a certain point, only to realise that you don’t even like it. This is why reflection is important. 

Be kind even when you’re not receiving it. Kindness is only kind when we do it out of pure love instead of personal gain. Stop expecting people to be kind to you after you’ve been kind to them. Kindness is a debt-free action.

[becomingthatgirl111]

stop comparing yourself

i have been dealing with this for years. somehow i think we are programmed to think that the other person is better than us, in whatever aspect and we end up putting ourselves down and this is due to lack of self-esteem.

the reality is that it's all about perspective. you may think that the other person is much smarter, prettier or whatever better than you, but that person may have a totally different perspective of themselves and see those qualities that you admire in them in others. that's why it's an absurd reason to compare yourself to other people.

another reason why we should stop doing it is because it doesn't help us to improve ourselves because as i have already mentioned it makes us feel inferior to others and if we want to be our best version we have to stop doing it and focus on ourselves.

it is not worth comparing yourself with other people because everyone lives their own life and you don't know what that person has gone through to get to the point where they are now and you are also capable of achieving it. the only thing that prevents you from doing it is yourself and your negative thoughts about yourself.

negative thoughts can be changed by identifying them and not paying attention to them. at the beginning, it seems a complicated task but when your ideas have started to change and you have another mentality it is easier to do it. every time you compare yourself to yourself use the affirmation "i accept and approve of myself" say this repeatedly in your head until those thoughts go away. try it.

it is also important to recognize since when you compare yourself and why you do it. maybe it was a behavior you learned as a child, your parents or someone made you do it, maybe you tend to be very perfectionist with yourself. but all this comes from a lack of love in ourselves and when we identify it, it will be much easier to start the healing process.

it doesn't matter how other people are, if it helps you, take them as inspiration but the important thing here is to focus on yourself.

so my tips would be:

recognize when you feel this way and why.

write down how you would like to feel about this situation, if necessary also write down how it makes you feel every time you compare yourself to someone else and what you think about yourself at these moments.

every time you have a negative thought about yourself repeat the affirmation "i accept and approve of myself".

do activities that make you feel good and help you connect with the best version of yourself.

read, listen to podcasts, watch videos about personal growth. do research, don't just stick to the basics.

put into practice little by little what you are learning from all this new content that your mind is absorbing.

talk to yourself beautifully in front of the mirror, it can be that same affirmation or meditate in front of the mirror with a video of positive affirmations.

stop paying so much attention to other people's lives and focus on your own.

[ataraxiaspainting]

King of Infinity.

Yan (Villain) Gojo x F Reader. 

Synopsis: You don’t get the starring role. You’re partially happy about it; because you don’t have to break a leg.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships/kidnapping(?), descriptions of genocide, descriptions of corpses, manipulation, Stockholm Syndrome(ish), and degrading language against the reader.

Word Count: 1.1k.

can technically be considered a roleswap AU but up to you as geto isn’t talked about rcfncodnorjr…

*~*~*~*

“I never considered you someone who would be fond of apartments.” Satoru pushes his sunglasses up with his pointer finger as he wraps an arm around your trembling shoulders.

The same hand that holds you so very tenderly in the eyes of his followers is the same hand that turns on the lighter to envelop his cigarette in a small flame – a flame you had learned long ago to not attempt to put out, lest you would like it seared into your palm like the tattoo he forced on your neck.

‘The Star.’

“It’s a good strategy though,” Those words are the closest thing to a praise you have heard in months. They are akin to Satan reflecting on his reign of hell and comparing, considering whether or not it would be better to serve in heaven. But then he would laugh as his servants danced, not wanting any angel or God to take such bliss away from him.

Satoru had you dressed in what he considered to be the highest quality fabrics monkeys can make, while he had attire made from the sorcerers he had wrapped around his finger. Yours were not suitable for Tokyo’s snowstorms and his clothing covered up more skin than he would ever let you cover – because you aren’t him, the one he loves the most more than anything else in this beautiful world; Gojo Satoru, the special grade sorcerer that killed more than thirty thousand people in a single hour outside Jujutsu High and was never punished after that fateful evening.

You still remember that night. It is etched into your memory like a child had drawn it on a white wall. Despite everything, you will not ever be able to erase it. You will grow old and never dream of anything but him, the center of your now small universe, the only flower that is allowed to bloom under the eternal blood moon. Everything else will rot – even the earth’s shadow will not remain once Satoru’s dreams are realized. His will is all that matters now, he is the priest of the god of destruction and you are so very far below him. 

A monkey. That is where you will stay and continue to be after you rot and he steps on the soil placed on top of you so you cannot breathe or scream. Only gratitude can fall from your disgusting lips because Gojo Satoru’s only fuel is the groveling of every living creature that makes up the infinite number of galaxies. He will gladly replace your tongue with the worms who decompose you if you have more to say than that. After a while, he’ll comfort you and say that it doesn’t get too bad underneath because that is your one true purpose in life; to not speak and only do.

“You didn’t cry too much this time,” The ends of Satoru’s mouth move upwards, having the freedom to do as they please because his lips aren’t sewn shut. Yours on the other hand can hardly get something that tastes pleasant. “That’s an improvement, wouldn’t you say? I’ll be sure to get you some mochi after this mission, pet.”

You’re not sure if he is talking about the car ride here or the corpses strewn across the floor – occupants of this apartment and a poor security guard that just so happened to be in the general vicinity and heard flesh being torn apart like paper.

There are glimmers coming from the knife block in the kitchen area, the sunlight hitting them just right to make them glow a silvery hue. But the idea dies as soon as you feel its warmth – almost nonexistent because of the burning cold – and slink back into the shadows where you belong, where you are meant to be.

“I never took you to be one for planning. Usually, it is Nanami who does that.” 

A puff of smoke comes out, but you can still see his glowing eyes. You can always see them no matter what you do, even if you close your own, so you decide to imagine them as a different color; something less bright and more normal, something like black or brown. Sometimes you get away with it, and other times he somehow knows.

“I don’t mind it though.”

From across the street, you see the clocktower that stands at the gate of the nearest train station… or bus stop. You don’t care enough to remember which it was. Most likely the former though – you highly doubt any mere bus station would have a clock that large when said buses only hold less than fifty people.

“Will you miss me?” The tone in his voice is teasing, you think because his lighter isn’t on his lap or in his hand – it is on the little coffee table beside the sofa you two are sitting on. But you must still behave according to Satoru’s design because the placement of the flames can easily change. The comfort is cold, but it is better than a scorching hot truth.

“Yes.” 

The real reason you had chosen an apartment and not some corporate office that was under the thumb of the Star Religious Group was because you wanted to be somewhere that was halfway normal. It’s selfish, you know that. But the floors are aged and not polished daily, the air smells different and the heating is at its lowest setting because the owners wanted to save a bit of money. It was oh so very selfish of you. But when you are forced to be the companion of Gojo Satoru, someone who is every definition of the word, you have to combat it in a way that won’t leave your skin black and blue.

“It’s almost eleven,” Satoru groans, stretching his arms up to the ceiling. Some blood managed to get up there along with a bit of a leather shoe, probably the husband’s. You two ignore it for different reasons that are just as strong as the other. “Be good.”

When he reaches towards the table, you think he is reaching for his lighter. But with a slight detour of his hand, he opens his wallet instead. A few thousand yen is handed to you when your eyes are closed, your mind prepared for another fight or flight response. All you get is another poke of your cheek.

“You know where the market is, don’t you? The one I took you after our date last week.” 

You nod. “Would you like mochi, master?”

“No,” Satoru chuckles. “Get me something you like.”

[love-is-patient]

I have religious trauma.

I was raised in a household where my dad wanted to be God, and so characterized Him in a way that left me constantly paranoid.

God was a judge, God was a debt collector, God was a hammer waiting to strike.

My mother was likewise delusional to a point. She used religion as a manner of control, manipulating my egotistical dad and our chaotic little world so she could feel better about herself.

I was abused in the church. I’ve been so many churches since childhood I can’t count them.

I was told I was possessed because I was a child with adhd and couldn’t sit still in a pew. I was told that if I didn’t see visions or speak in tongues, I wasn’t saved. I was told that I must be thinking about God at all times or I wasn’t good enough. That I was lukewarm, unlovable, unworthy.

I was too afraid to take communion. I cried and turned away from the altar multiple times because I was a too dirty to touch the offering.

I was told so many awful things that I grew up with a persistent religious paranoia on top of my already anxiety inducing life.

So… why am I still a Christian, after all of that?

Stockholm syndrome, right?

It would be easy to write it off as that, but I did turn away from religion. In the back of my mind. I stayed cautious in case God was still watching.

It wasn’t until I got rid of the destructive influences in my life that things changed.

My perception of God changed when I left the awful people using His name in vain- or for personal gain.

When I grew up, learned to be discerning about the character of people.

Many people live under the assumption that I did- that God is a tyrant who is waiting for you to mess up so he can smash you and send you to hell. Paradoxically, that almost makes Satan sound preferable.

But that’s not who God is, and he doesn’t want people to go to hell.

Even if you haven’t had good parents, you’ve seen what they’re like. They get excited to share experiences with their children. The first taste of lemon, the first puddles to splash in. First words, first laughs, first steps.

God wanted that for us.

Satan got jealous after his rebellion in heaven. He saw God had something good and wanted it for himself again - even if it was just to spite God.

He offered humanity a choice and we took it.

We can debate why it happened until we’re blue in the face, but what matters most are God’s decisions afterwards.

Everything that has happened since the fall has been God trying to bring his wayward children back without force.

Just like when you see that friend of yours making the same bad decisions day after day, and you know their quality of life would improve if they just stopped. It’s heartbreaking, frustrating. You can give them all the advice in the world but they’ll just keep on doing the thing and complain to you about every headache afterwards.

Now you know a little what God feels like.

Only God is a little more patient than we tend to be.

God doesn’t ask much from us, not as much as people, which is weird to think about.

God doesn’t measure your worth by how good you are at your job, how badly you do in school. He doesn’t equate your value to how rich or poor you are, he doesn’t judge you the same way people do.

The first thing he asks of you is to love him and love each other.

He loves us so much that he opened heaven again if we ask for it.

He came down as flesh and blood in Jesus and took all the punishments we should’ve had. In Jesus death and resurrection, we have a way home.

All he wants for us to do is acknowledge that.

He doesn’t hate you if you can’t pay tithe. He doesn’t talk behind your back if you make a mistake. He doesn’t demean, debase, abuse.

Why am I still a Christian?

Because God was there for me when people weren’t.

God didn’t abuse me as a kid, people did, and used God as a shield.

God didn’t lie to me, call me names, break my things - my parents did.

God didn’t order me to do unbelievable things in order to reach him - my pastors and teachers did.

God didn’t tell me I’m unworthy - people did.

Even if you don’t believe in God, if you’re angry at him, feeling hurt and betrayed.

Maybe take a closer look and see if it’s really the people around you making you miserable, instead of an untouchable, invisible hammer.

[lqfiles]

SCORE THAT GOAL! — 21. man up and break it

(wc: 1.701)

“welcome in y/n! make sure to take of your shoes and follow me into the living room. you can hang your jacket up or leave it on the couch if you want.” jaemin blurted out in one go, already moving away from the door he had opened for you only a few seconds ago. appalled, all you could mutter out was a quick ‘hi jaemin’ before following his instructions.

“good to see that you came here safely.” jaemin settled down on the ground next to the coffee table placed in the room, beaming a bright smile your way. you felt awetruck, subconsciously smiling at jaemin. he was a pretty man, you always thought that was the case. “yeah, took me a while but i’m here now.”

“soooo, advertisement?” you took out your laptop and notebook, placing them onto the table before looking back at jaemin and nodding. “i just need you to look at my work and see if i could improve on anything.” jaemin also nodded in return, waiting for you to unpack all your equipment before continuing.

jaemin took out his phone. “would you like to see the work that got me a good grade?” he asked softly, phone still facing him in case you refused. you shook your head in agreement, shuffling closer to him to see his high quality work. you hummed. “you really put a lot of detail into everything, i don’t know if i can do all that..” you groaned, feeling a headache brew in the back of your mind. jaemin chuckled, dragging your laptop his way. “i can show you how i did some of those effects while explaining it at the same time, is that okay with you?”

you sat up more and sent jaemin a small nod. you were grateful that jaemin was willing to help you out on your assignment, you could exaggerate and say you owed him your life but it really did feel like that at the moment. especially with the way his brushed through various techniques and topics so briskly, simplifying it for you too. “is it okay if i get some water?” you whispered, hating that your thirst was breaking the steady process you were working on with jaemin. his kind smile made you feel more at ease, finally standing up and following his given directions.

the kitchen wasn’t that far and was easy to spot. you made your way into the room and went to the cupboard, extracting a glass from it before making your way over to the sink to get some water. “you’re (—).” a voice, all too quiet yet loud enough catch your attention, emerged from behind you. you squealed and almost dropped the cup. turning around, you weren’t sure who you were expecting, but a brown haired boy dressed in an equally brown cardigan who was around your height wasn’t your first thought.

“and you’re the roommate renjun.” you addressed back, remembering the mention of a roommate. the boy who stood in front of you let his gaze wander up and down your figure before nodding. “jisung is upstairs.” he spoke out, moving past you to wash his hands in the sink. you furrowed your brows and turned his way. why would he tell you this, and why was jisung here? “…okay.” was all you managed to respond back.

“i thought you’d want to say hi, apparently you two know each other.” renjun shrugged, moving himself away from the sink and instead to the fridge before rummaging through it. “oh, yeah.. yeah i know him.” you answered back hesitantly. you slowly stepped out of the kitchen, not too sure if this conversation was over but you didn’t care much, it was starting to get awkward.

“did you meet renjun?” jaemin asked as he saw you walk back in with your glass of water. you nodded, looking back into the kitchen. “he’s your roommate?” you didn’t know if you meant it in a positive or negative way, you’d like to believe it was more so out of disbelief. as in, your roommates with someone who seems to be the polar opposite of you? “yeah, renjun and i have been friends for three years now.” jaemin smiled, and you once again looked back at the door you just came out of. maybe opposite attracts?

“actually, i need to ask him something really quickly, can you stay here for a bit?” jaemin abruptly stood up, leaving your work open so you could continue yourself. you let him know that it was alright and went back to sit on the ground jaemin previously sat on. looking through your work, he definitely improved it by a lot. you felt bad, he was doing your coursework for you and all you are paying him back with was a few movie nights. maybe you’ll up your budget for your lunch and buy him some as well.

“hey.” the familiar deep voice that you were still not used to broke the silence you had gotten comfortable in. it made you snap your head up to the side, watching jisung peak his head around the corner of the door. he held a hesitant smile on his face, not sure what to say. you took it as the initiative to wave your hand back at him. “hi jisung.” jisung decided to fully enter the living room, still maintaining close proximity to the door. “what are you doing down here?” you asked.

“renjun kicked me out of his room since jaemin and him are having a private conversation.” jisung rolled his eyes, looking over at your figure seated on the ground. ‘man up and break it’. jeno’s words were practically stuck in jisung’s mind ever since he entered the apartment. he could see where jeno was coming from, they are in the same club, the same year, they even share the same friends. there was no reason for there to be an ‘awkward tension’, like jisung described it. “how long have you been here for?” he asked.

“almost an hour i think?” you checked the time on your phone to confirm your guess. jisung nodded, still leaning against the door. there was a silence that neither of them knew how to break, before jisung swallowed and spoke again. “how’s club practice? are you liking it?” jisung questioned curiously. you thought about it. were you liking it? partially. because of him, but he didn’t need to know that. “it’s alright, i think i’m getting the hang of the game. though i’m not as good as you and jeno are.” you shyly smiled.

“practice makes perfect you know, i’m sure in a few months you’ll be up to par with either one of us.” you could’ve sworn you saw the slightest hint of a smile on his face when you looked back at him. “i guess you’re right… how is sociology?” you decided to ask back, not wanting to take this opportunity of a two sided conversation for granted. jisung thought for a second before answering. “alright too? i’m currently doing my homework in renjun’s room for it.”

as if on cue, both renjun and jaemin had seemingly summoned out of nowhere, entering the room after one another. jaemin held an apologetic smile on his face. “sorry (—), we’ll have to continue this another day since me and renjun have some house stuff to take care of.” jaemin apologised, pouting at you with a genuine expression of guilt. you shook your head. “it’s okay, we already did quite a lot, thank you for your help.” you thanked him, already packing up your stuff.

“and you need to go too.” renjun turned towards jisung, who frowned. “what? but i’m always here.” jisung protested. “well not today, we need both of you out.” renjun rubbed his face. “jisung be a gentleman and take her home, it’s getting dark outside these days.” renjun lastly said before walking back up the stairs. “but-” the sound of a door closing was enough for jisung to realise there was no ‘but’s. jaemin apologised once more before making his way up the stairs himself.

jisung slowly looked over at you who was already staring at him in silence. it took him a few seconds before he let out a sigh. “come on, he’s right. it’s getting late.” jisung sighed before he turned around and took his jacket off the hanger. you were glad his back was facing your way, because that meant he didn’t see the way your jaw had dropped. you shook your head before following him outside, the both of you taking the bus back. jisung’s sudden chatty attitude caught you off guard. he was willingly trying to make conversation with you on the way, breaking the silence every 5 minutes. were you complaining? not one bit.

“i’ll see you next week.” he said, the two of you reaching a point where each could part their own way. you smiled and nodded. “see you next week.” you turned around to walk away, ready to break into a grin.

“oh yeah, (—)?” you heard him call out from behind. you craned your neck to see him hesitate before a small smile formed on his face. “let’s watch where we walk from now on, yeah?”

you went home with the biggest grin on your face.

previous — master list — next

notes ; PROGRESS PROGRESS PROGRESS RAAAAAHHHH

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[iamthatonefangirl]

unrequited - harvey specter

now that i'm getting back into the hang of writing hopefully my work quality will improve from whatever this is

send fic ideas!!! all the love on my recent harvey posts is what's keeping me going

also i can only write angst because i am still desperately crushing on my coworker oops

~~~

Your relationship with Harvey was like a ticking time bomb. 

You knew that you couldn’t keep this up forever; your feelings for him were too intense. They kept you awake at night, and they kept you from being able to date other men you knew you could like if not for him. Your feelings boiled up inside you day in and day out, and you were forced to suppress them. Harvey Specter was not the relationship type. 

You loved him too deeply to think the feelings would just go away one day. No, you would have to cut them off at the source. And that meant leaving not only your firm, but also the city in which you had built your connections, your career, your entire life. All to get away from the one thing you wanted so badly it was beginning to destroy the rest of your life. 

He had so easily turned into the main character of your story; it was time to reclaim your position as the protagonist. But that meant outcasting him for good. 

~~

When you first started at Pearson Specter, now Specter Litt, you were one of the few associates who Harvey had ever chosen to work directly with him. Years of watching and picking up on how he operated allowed you to grow to your full potential as an attorney at the firm, and for that, you couldn't be more grateful. Which is why even though you no longer worked very closely with him, having been promoted to junior partner, you knew he would be upset to hear your news of departure. 

You didn’t want to think about how you would eventually have to quit returning his calls and effectively ghost him to get on with your life. 

You expected him to ask what you wanted in return for staying at the firm, and when you would turn down the offer, he would lash out at you. You would leave the office and wouldn’t hear from him again until he called you a month later to check in. This was how it always went with him; it wouldn’t be any different this time around. 

Monday morning came around eventually, no matter how much you willed it wouldn’t. Stepping into his office, you were rightfully nervous to broach the topic. “Harvey, do you have a minute?”

He glanced up at you from his desk before replying, “Do any of us around here have a spare minute?” You chuckled at his response and shut the door behind you. 

“I’m serious.” He shut his laptop and turned to you. You sat down in front of his desk, hands fidgeting and eyes darting back and forth between him and the files on his desk. 

“I’m here to give you my official notice.” 

The half-smile he wore when you first walked in shattered. It pained you to see, but you steeled yourself. You knew what to expect next; you just had to grit your teeth and bare through the conversation. 

“I’ve been working on finishing up my recent cases over the last few weeks, and so I’m giving you my two-week’s. I’ve already spoken to some of the other partners who have agreed to take over my cases going forward, and I’ll be giving notice to my clients this week.” 

He didn’t say anything at all. Now that was uncharacteristic of him. 

He soon gathered his thoughts. He averted his eyes as he told you, “No need. I’ll waive your non-compete. You can take your clients with you to wherever you’re going.” He shifted his gaze back to you. “Just answer me this, what did they offer you?”

You didn’t quite understand. “What do you mean?”

He had that serious look on his face, the one he always sported when he realized he was caught in a bind. “The firm you’re leaving me for. What did they offer you to get you to leave?”

“Harvey, they didn’t– I’m not–”

“Senior partner? A higher salary? Because all of those things can be arranged for here, you know that. Just say the word.” 

He may have been upset, but he could not possibly have understood how difficult this was for you. His words the firm you’re leaving me for couldn’t have been more true, you were leaving him; no matter how you tried to tell him, you reminded yourself he couldn’t know that.

You paused a moment to exhale before telling him the truth.  

“I’m not leaving to go to another firm, you don’t need to waive my non-compete.” 

His lips parted ever so slightly as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“I’m going home, Harvey. I’m leaving for San Francisco.” 

~~~

He had no idea what you were talking about. Home? How hadn’t this city become your home? This firm? Him? 

You rendered him temporarily speechless. He tried to offer you more and more incentive to stay, but you refused. 

“I’ll double your salary. I’ll give you a bigger bonus than you’ve ever seen in your life.” You declined. “I’ll promote you. You can be elected a senior partner within the week, and I’ll pay your buy-in fee.”

Why was he trying so hard to get you to stay?

No matter how enticing the offers he made you might have been, you had one goal in mind: protecting your peace. Protecting your future from a man who would continue to take more and more parts of you until you were nothing apart from him. You had to leave before you couldn’t find your way back without him. 

“Harvey, I’m leaving, That’s final.” You stood and began for the door. 

“How dare you?” You heard from behind you. 

Suddenly angered, you turned back to him, “Excuse me?”

“After everything I’ve done for you, you’re leaving, just like that. You’re going to drop everything just for some nostalgic memory of where you grew up?” 

“How dare you! Don’t you speak to me that way, Harvey. You have no idea why it is that I’m leaving!” You yelled back at him, finger pointing in his face. 

“So tell me!”

“You want the truth, Harvey? I’m in love with you. And I will never escape you any other way. So forget my two week’s notice. I’ll handle all my affairs from home. You’ll have my letter of resignation within the hour.” 

With what little dignity you felt you had left, you walked out of the room with your head held high. 

~~~

He had no idea, obviously. Of course he felt a connection to you; he trained you, taught you how the world of corporate law worked. 

How long had you felt that way? Is there something he could’ve done to avoid this whole situation? His most promising junior partner was leaving, and there was nothing he could do about it. It was his own fault entirely.

He was determined to get the chance to apologize when you came back with your resignation letter. He would straighten out the situation, explain that you could still work there. It wasn’t the end of the world. 

Of course, he got called away from his office for a period of time. The letter was there when he returned, and his hopes of keeping you were gone. 

~~~

You knew that in the books, the idea of people saying things in the heat of the moment were common occurrences. You didn’t think it could ever happen to you in real life, though. You intended for him to never discover this truth you hid from him. It was simpler that way.

But of course, you were wrong, and it all came out before you had a chance to bite your tongue. Now you had to clean out your desk quickly and say your goodbyes quietly. 

~~~

Three months later, you were settling into your new position. Since you anticipated spending another two weeks in New York, you had a whole month between your resignation and the time you were expected to start in California. 

You were finally starting to live your life more for yourself. You thought about Harvey less and less each day, until you could go out and meet another man without feeling like you were cheating on him. Crazy how you never got to call him yours, but still felt disloyal whenever you tried to go out with someone else while you were still in New York. 

Although you didn’t have the close relationship with your new supervisor that you had with Harvey, you felt welcomed and supported by your coworkers. You hated to admit that life was dull for a great number of weeks as you went through Harvey withdrawals, but it was true. Things were finally starting to get better until you got a knock on your door one day. 

~~~ 

You’d blocked Harvey’s number on your phone for a great many number of reasons. You never expected him to just show up at your new place, though.

“Harvey? What are you doing here?” you questioned.

“Can I come in?” You allowed it.

“You haven’t been taking my calls,” he pointed out to you, to which you replied, “I blocked you, Harvey. Why are you not in New York right now?”

“I needed to see you,” was his only response. And with just those five little words, all the work you’d done to get over him was erased. It allowed your mind to flood with ideas of him wanting you in any way other than professionally or platonically. Damn you, Harvey, you thought. 

“For what?”

“I want you to come back.” Unhelpful answer.

“Why?”

“You sure ask a lot of questions, don’t you? I want you to come back because I trained you, and you’re an asset to the firm that we’re losing out on.” 

“So you’re only here for a return on your investment in me.”

As you said that to him, he realized he fucked up. 

“Look, I didn’t mean–”

“Yes! You absolutely did! You show up here, out of nowhere, telling me that you need my skills to benefit the firm, not that you might just want me to come back. Not that maybe I myself am beneficial to the firm, or even that you just miss me! God, can you really not acknowledge what I told you the last time I saw you?” 

He paused. “Look, I know what you said. Yet still, I came.”

“And what does that mean, exactly? That you’ve suddenly come to terms with it and realized that you love me too?”

He didn’t respond at all. 

“I’m not coming back, Harvey. I need a life separate from you. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.” 

He shook his head in agreement. “I’m sorry I can’t be what you need me to be.” He turned towards the doorway and saw himself out as the tears started welling up in your eyes.  

Those were the last words you heard from him for a very long time. 

~~~

masterlist

[idyllic-affections]

achilles heel.

summary. the ninth harbinger takes on an... unexpected responsibility.

trigger & content warnings. references to poverty, [name] is a thief (at first), slightly ooc pantalone in some parts.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff, slight angst, hurt/comfort. pantalone & child/young teen!reader, arlecchino & child/young teen!reader. 3.4k words. they/them pronouns for reader. this fic is divided into six drabble-like sections.

author's thoughts. inspired by a silly conversation @aroacenezha and i had. i dad-ify this man a little too much but you know what? i will keep doing it idc he's so dad-able. this post is structured differently than my usual content but i think it's kind of cool!!!

i. an unexpected guest ♡

       Of all the possible unexpected things that could await the Regrator in his Snezhnaya residence—one of them, at least; the amount of properties he owned was certainly more than what one could count on both hands—this was... most definitely among one of the more shocking.

       He was speechless, really.

       "Please do humor me. How did you manage to get in?"

       Of all the unexpected things that could await the Regrator in his his home, in his office of all places... thievery in and of itself wasn't unexpected; rather, it was the fact that standing in front of him was undoubtedly a child no older than fourteen. Not only that, but additionally the fact that they were actually standing in his office. They had not been caught. A child, no older than fourteen, possessed more skill than all of the others in the past who had made poor attempts to steal from him.

       "You need better security"—they shrugged, making him somewhat annoyed at their nonchalance—"I really thought it would be hard to rob the richest man on Teyvat. It was harder to rob Lady Ningguang. I actually had to abandon that job, you know? Couldn't get to the Jade Chamber."

       Again, he was left absolutely speechless.

       Being compared to Ningguang made a bitter taste settle in his mouth. He made a mental note to drastically improve the quality of his security.

       "You..."

       "What? It's not my fault all of your agents are incompetent."

       They weren't wrong, he supposed. His agents surely could do better at their jobs. Their smugness still irritated him, though. "Do you routinely rob the wealthy?"

       They scoffed. "You all are hoarding wealth that should never have been yours in the first place. Archons forbid I steal from wicked people who couldn't possibly care less about anyone but themselves... Get over yourself. Seriously."

       He genuinely couldn't tell if they had no sense of danger or if they simply had that sheer amount of audacity by nature. Though, admittedly, he did have to respect the fact that they managed to sneak in completely undetected. If not for his sudden appearance, they most likely would have gotten away with it. Their audacity did irk him a little, but... that was also something he had to respect. It was impressive in its own right. No average Snezhnayan child would so much as dream of talking to a Harbinger the way they did oh-so effortlessly

       It did occur to him, however, that they did not look well-off; they were not the average Snezhnayan child.

       Their hair looked as if it had been haphazardly and unevenly chopped off so that it was too short to become tangled (he did recall doing such a thing himself—at the lowest point in his life, taking care of his hair was a useless endeavor, solely because it did not help better his chances of survival). They were clothed decently enough in layers adequately thick to keep themselves from freezing which, indeed, was also something he understood on a nauseously personal level.

       Most of the mora he managed to earn in his unfortunate youth was invested in... not freezing to death. Through them, he was forced to once again acknowledge his past, a past he endeavored to forget about because it made him feel pathetic.

       ...Or maybe it made him feel like an impostor in his wealth?

       What kind of sick twist of fate had the Archons cursed him with, forcing him to think about such trivial things?

       He should punish them. He should arrest them. He should send them off to Dottore and never spare them another thought ever again, even, but... somehow, he didn't want to. Much as he may have acted as if he couldn't possibly know why, he did.

       The brat reminded him sickeningly of himself.

       "Where do you think you're going?"

       They were half out of his window when he called out to them, having taken advantage of his pondering.

       "To sell what I've taken?"

       He almost rolled his eyes. Almost, but didn't. That would have been immature and inelegant of him. "Come here."

       They would have just left, but truthfully, it would not have been a smart move on their behalf. The only reason they had not yet been caught and apprehended was simply because no-one had spotted them in the first place. Not a single one of their 'victims' had managed to catch a glimpse of them. Now that a Harbinger had seen them...

       They figured it was in their best interests to avoid being pursued by anyone with that much power, especially by someone like Pantalone. A man with that much political influence was dangerous.

       "Show me what it is that you've taken."

       They did.

       A letter opener, a few picture frames... Nothing significant or extremely expensive (though, to them, anything at all from his office would likely be of high value), which is what left Pantalone completely perplexed. He honestly hadn't even noticed that anything was missing from his office when he had first entered.

       Perhaps that was what made them so skilled, combined with their capacity to avoid being seen.

       "Out of everything you could have taken," he mused, "you chose... these inconsequential items?"

       "They're inconsequential to you, maybe. To me and to my buyers, things like this are worth a ton. Whether I'll actually be given what is owed is... uh. More or less likely. I don't know, I just— can I leave yet?"

       "Not so fast, dear." He smiled, tilting his head slightly. They thought he somewhat resembled a fox.

       "...What? Are you seriously going to arrest me for something so little?"

       "Nothing of the sort. In fact... I have a proposal of sorts for you."

ii. the proposal in question. ♡

       "You know, when someone says something ominous like 'I have a proposal for you'," they began, twirling a defiant strand of their now neat hair—which the Harbinger had... shockingly, taken upon himself to cut properly rather than paying someone else to do it—around their finger, "they generally don't mean... all this."

       "Don't be difficult." He pinched their cheek like a scolding (or affectionate, but the nature of his gesture was debatable, given the fact that he tended to hide his thoughts behind a skilled mask of eerie calmness that they could only imagine took years to perfect) grandparent might. "Let the tailor take your measurements."

       "Ugh... fine. I don't even see why I'm doing this," they murmured, gingerly raising their arms when the tailor politely prompted them to.

       "Oh? Did I not say? My apologies. I intend for you to become a permanent resident of my household."

       Silence.

       "...So you're adopting me."

       "That is one way to look at it, yes."

       "Oh. I was... um." They paused, blinking a few times as if in an attempt to dispel the bewilderment they felt. "I was kidding. I didn't expect that response."

       He only smiled.

       They wondered if they would ever learn to understand that ambiguous smile.

iii. another unexpected guest ♡

       Between teaching the newest member of his house noble etiquette, conversational skills, and other important skills they would need to master, Pantalone had grown unexpectedly fond of the little orphan he took in.

       He should have been annoyed by how often they questioned his authority, by how unruly they were...

       Of course, he wasn't. It was endearing and even refreshing in its own way—when was the last time anyone had dared to speak so freely and honestly and daringly to him? The respect rooted in fear that his status as a Harbinger gave him became dull after a while.

       It really shouldn't have surprised him that he had become so fond of the little one who did not fear speaking in the most unfiltered way to him.

       However... he did wonder if his fondness was causing him to spoil them just a little too much.

       "...What is that?"

       They grinned brightly. In their arms, a small arctic fox sat contentedly, strangely unbothered by the fact that a random child decided to pick it up and bring it home. It seemed to snuggle further into them and their warmth, in fact.

       "It's an arctic fox!"

       "My dear, that is a wild animal."

       "And?"

       Silence. Pantalone was the first to break it:

       "I have the ability to acquire any animal you so desire of only the highest pedigree," he began, "the best available on the market—of course, assuming it could survive in an extreme climate such as this one—and yet, you chose to bring home a little street fox?"

       They pouted, lower lip jutting out in an exceedingly childish way that he would have chided them for had it not just been himself, them, and the various Fatui guards stationed around (who all knew far better than to say anything about whatever they saw or heard within their Lord's residence) present. "Don't be mean. I came from the street too, you know... look at her! Look at this little creature! Say hi."

       If it had been anyone else demanding such childish things of him, he would be appalled... but he supposed since it was them, he could tolerate it. He leaned down slightly.

       "Hello."

       Much to his apparent surprise, the fox barked back at him, to which they giggled.

       "Soo, can I keep her?"

       The silence returned for a brief second. Then, the Harbinger sighed deeply—it was undoubtedly comparable to the kind of sigh an exasperated parent might let out. As if he wasn't already going grey enough without this child around...

       He caved to their whims regardless.

       He was encouraging a bad habit, yes, but they looked so happy with that little fox. He could only hope that, in the future, they would not bring home any other wild animals.

       "Very well, but I expect you to learn how to take care of her properly, otherwise I will be forced to let her go."

iv. old habits die hard.

       The first event they ever had to attend with the Regrator was an annual event hosted by the Tsaritsa herself.

       Much as they weren't exactly... keen on going, Pantalone insisted—he had claimed it was for publicity's sake. The public would favor him more if he was seen as the caretaker of a child. They supposed they couldn't really argue with that, but the thought of being used as a device to build public rapport was uncomfortable at best and nauseating at worst.

       (He was very adamant on reassuring them that he didn't take them in solely for such a shallow reason. Though... he still did not tell them why exactly it was that he chose to take them in, which admittedly did make them doubt the sincerity of his words.

       They decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, given how kind he tended to be with them.)

       They absolutely hated being surrounded by so many pompous rich people who only ever turned a blind eye to the struggling of every low-income family in Snezhnaya. How these people could live with themselves, hoarding the majority of the wealth of an entire nation, they would never know nor understand.

       (What made Pantalone any different, they sometimes wondered?)

       However...

       They were all viable targets, even including the other Harbingers present.

       Columbina... there was nothing they could steal off of her without getting caught, and the idea of making a scene, especially one involving the third Harbinger herself, made their stomach churn anxiously. She was not an option.

       Dottore... stealing off of him was unwise. They wondered if Pantalone would lose favor in them if they did. The Doctor, like the Damselette, was not an option, despite the many things they could take off his person without him ever knowing that something was missing (probably; they weren't truly sure if they'd like to test that theory).

       Arlecchino... her silver hairclip was awfully pretty. Surely she wouldn't miss it? She didn't like the Regrator much anyways, so—

       "Dear."

       "Oh. Um." They cleared their throat, embarrassedly looking anywhere but at him. They tried their best not to pick at the threads of their sleeves. "Sorry. Force of habit."

       He hummed, gloved hand raising up to rub reassuring circles on their back. The bubbling anxiety and discomfort in their chest subsided slightly.

       "Come along. There is nothing to be afraid of, and please... do not take anything off of anyone. Leave the Knave and the other Harbingers be."

       Of course, upon passing Arlecchino, they did end up stealing her hairclip regardless.

       Though annoyed, she said nothing of it, because even though their audacity to steal something from a Harbinger at an event such as that one agitated her beyond belief...

       It seemed to make them happy, and she didn't see them take anything from anyone else the entire night. She decided that she would let it slide just this one time.

       (She also took it upon herself to secure it in their hair—which had grown longer and healthier ever since the Ninth took them in—after the event, claiming that it was a gift from her...

       ...And that, if they knew what was good for them, they would not dare to pull another foolish stunt like that ever again.)

v. achilles heel.

       "What is it that plagues your mind?"

       "Huh?" They blinked, sitting up a little straighter in their place on one of the soft sofas in the Ninth's personal library. Most of their time was spent in there, absorbing all the knowledge that they didn't have access to earlier on in their life. "What do you mean?"

       "You've been withdrawn lately," Pantalone said, approaching them slowly as if they were some kind of skittish animal. He tenderly caressed their cheek upon seeing no signs of discomfort. "Have I done something to drive you away?"

       "...No," they admitted quietly, looking outside of the large window and watching the snow fall. It looked... peaceful, but they knew from experience what it was really like out there. They gnawed on their lower lip, searching for a way to word their concerns without sounding ungrateful. "I just... ugh, it's nothing. I don't know. I don't know how to say it without it sounding... bad."

       He raised an eyebrow. His hand moved away from their face, now stroking their hair calmingly. "You speak to me so freely all the time. Why the sudden change of heart, hm?"

       He did have a point there. They never once thought twice about the way they spoke to him up until that point.

       A sigh left their lips, and they shifted their gaze to meet his.

       The way their eyes glistened with the sheen of unshed, frustrated tears made Pantalone feel a sort of fatherly protectiveness that he wasn't sure he should have been able to feel, and yet... their expression flipped some kind of switch in him.

       "Why did you take me in?"

       "I—"

       "Wait, I'm not done," they interrupted. He went quiet. "What benefit do I provide to you? What kind of rich guy sees a random orphaned thief and decides to take them in? Who does that? No rich person I've met before you, that's for sure. People like you don't care about those of us barely scraping by in poor conditions, so why—"

       If it were anyone else Pantalone was speaking to, his tone would have been harsh and commanding, but... that was how it always had been with them. They could get away with things that others could not. They were always shown a side of him that others were not. Perhaps that made them the Regrator's one single Achilles heel, and if that were the case? So be it.

       "Stop. Listen."

       His tone came out very gently. It was more akin to a comforting hush than a demand. He kneeled down to their height—never once had they seen him voluntarily get so close to the ground. Most nobles didn't, and yet, here he was. With his ungloved knuckles, he wiped away the tears that they hadn't even noticed were beginning to fall.

       "I was you once, little one."

       "I don't believe you," they sniffled.

       "You should. I was not born into this life. My bloodline is not noble and my birth name holds no significance," he mused, tucking a stray strand of hair behind their ear. "I also used to steal from people, you know."

       Their hair fell over their shoulders, to which they quickly raised a hand to the back of their head. The clip—once belonging to Arlecchino—was gone, now settled in their caretaker's open palm.

       "H— huh?!"

       "Admittedly, I haven't done so in quite some time, so what you saw just then was moreso the skills I've learned as a Harbinger than my thievery skills."

       He kindly secured their hair back once again.

       "Ah... I never would have guessed."

       "That is the point." He nodded, going on to tease: "You do very much remind me of the younger version of myself... you have quite the awful amount of attitude, though. I was never so difficult."

       They huffed, patting their face dry with their palms, to which he chuckled.

       "Hmph, I doubt that. I'll bet you were worse than I am."

       "Whatever you say, dearest."

       He was, but he had no plans of telling them that, of course.

vi. enrollment.

       "My orphans seem to like you, [Name]."

       They smiled up at Arlecchino from their place on the ground, one of the much younger children sleeping against their thigh. Their hand absently toyed with the child's hair in a manner that seemed akin to that of a loving older sibling. "I like to think they do. They're lucky, then, because I happen to quite like them, too!"

       The ghost of a smile graced her lips at that.

       "You know," she mused calmly, placing a firm hand on their head. They squeaked slightly at the force behind her display of affection. "You are publicly viewed as the Regrator's child."

       "What?!" they gasped, a mix between shocked and embarrassed. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but... "Wait, people are saying that? Actually?"

       "They are," she confirmed, "but I mention this for one very particular reason: do you know how to defend yourself, [Name]?"

       "Somewhat, but not entirely," they admitted. "I learned a lot in my time... um, wandering, shall we call it..? Anyway. I can defend myself, but not really well. Not at all well enough for the place I've found myself in, I think."

       She nodded in understanding at that.

       "Have you considered enrolling in the House of Hearth?"

       "I've thought about it. Would I even qualify, though..? I'm technically not an orphan..."

       "No, but consider it a favor from me. You would get an education of equal rigor to Snezhnayan private schools, as well as learning how to protect yourself."

       "...You would do that for me, Arle?"

       Her cheeks tinted red at that, and she groaned, lightly pushing them away by the head. They giggled at her annoyance.

       "Don't call me that"—she coughed into her fist, trying her best to mask the good-natured embarrassment such a nickname caused her—"but... I would. You need to learn how to handle yourself."

       She then got on one knee, meeting their gaze with intensity that made them a bit nervous. Both her hands sat firmly on their shoulders.

       "What you need to understand, however, is that you will automatically be drafted into the Fatui at your graduation. I do not believe that the Regrator would let you out of his sight at your young age, so you needn't worry about being separated from him, but... you will be exposed to wicked things."

       "...But I need to do this for my safety, right?"

       "You don't 'need' to do anything," she clarified. "I would advise it, though. You are an annoying little brat, but I—as well as the Ninth—would loathe to see anything happen to you."

       "Well... I don't mind enrolling."

       "Oh?"

       "I really don't mind," they repeated, offering her a pensive smile. "I've already seen pretty rough things, and, I mean... I know what you all do for a living. I'm not oblivious, Arlecchino. Any kid born and raised in Snezhnaya would know."

       "I didn't think so," she assured. "No, I never once believed you to be oblivious... that much, I agree with. Childhood innocence does not thrive in this nation."

       "You're right. It doesn't."

       A comfortable silence settled for a moment. Arlecchino's battle-hardened hands were a calming force upon their shoulders.

       "...Soo, how exactly are we planning on convincing Pantalone to let this happen?"

       "Ah." She went quiet. "...That is the question."

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot! taglist: @m1shapanda, @kaichuuu, @zeldadou, @aroacenezha (aka the beloved moot who inspired this fic. say "thank you maji" everyone 🫶🫶🫶🫶 /hj /lh)

[xdjville]

wayv and their own love languages

pairing: wayv x gn!reader

cw: mentions of sex in winwin's (only in words, no descriptions), yangyang (half)jokingly being a hater in xiaojun's, proof read but i'm tired

author's note: i had to physically stop myself from getting carried away with kun's so it wouldn't end up twice as long as the others man i love him

#kun

quality time

if it wasn't for kun being so busy, he would literally be glued to you at the hip. only with you around he's able to truly relax, you're like a power outlet that he can use to charge his battery. what you're doing doesn't really matter to him that much, he will enjoy anything as long as you're there, but the slow, quiet moments when you're both in your own worlds have to be the ones he cherishes the most. of course, he loves going out with you and having a blast too, but something about those occasions brings him a sense of domesticity and really lets him unwind. like when you're both in his studio - him at the desk, composing or working on lyrics, while you're on the couch in the back with your laptop, focused on your own tasks, the silence being broken only the few times that kun asks about your opinion on whatever he came up with, or when you stand up to get a drink and place a kiss on his cheek as you walk by. or it could be him cooking dinner for the two of you, showing off his skills as you sit on the counter, humming quietly to his playlist playing in the background. every now and then he'd turn around to give you a piece of the food he's making for a taste test, repaying each good idea of how to improve the dish with a kiss.

#ten

thinking about you

ten is pretty much thinking about you every second that he's awake (and sometimes in his dreams, too), he's never not thinking about you. he often gets reminded of you by random things, whether because he thinks there's a visual resemblance (he then usually sends you a photo and a "you lol"), because it's something you like, or because it's somehow connected to a shared memory of yours. he brings you up in conversations a lot too, to the point where some of his friends seem to know you quite well without having actually met you. when he's travelling, he always takes many photos to send you along with voice messages about how his day went, and buys souvenirs or little trinkets to gift you when he's back. on the rare occasion when he's grocery shopping on his own, he makes it his mission to find all of your favorite snacks, which more often than not gets him distracted from the list you had put together for him, so you end up with a bunch of candy and no dinner (which is exactly why him shopping alone is a rare occurance). he also really likes putting together playlists with songs that remind him of you, some of them he'll send and give you access to, but there's also a few he made private which he listens to on days when the longing feels worse than usual.

#winwin

"i love you"

to most, it might seem like not that big of a deal, but to winwin those three words hold more meaning than all other existing ones combined. a meaning that's so important and valuable, binding even, that he uses them carefully and scarcelly in order to not abuse them. for most of his life they were reserved only for the closest family members, then, although in a different sense, also for his fans. saying them romantically for the first time was a whole new sesantion to him, and to be honest it still feels a bit foreign and uncomfortable. not because he doesn't love you, that he sure does and he makes sure to show that in other ways, but actually saying it out loud just makes him feel so bare and out in the open. hence his "i love you"s are usually muttered into the crook of your neck when you're pressed together after making love, breathed against your lips when he breaks the kiss only for a second so you can't see his face gaining more color than it already had, or whispered into your ear as he gently strokes the back of your head, your tears soaking into his sweater.

#xiaojun

sharing

xiaojun doesn't really do this purposefully, as a way to show his affection, it's just that the concept of "mine" and "yours" genuinely doesn't exist in his mind when it comes to you. want a bite of his food? it's yours as much as it's his. out of moisturiser? you probably use the same brand anyways. really like that one hoodie of his? might as well have been yours in the first place. he never expects the same behavior in return, he's totally fine if you value your privacy and he makes sure that you understand each other's boundaries, but he never lets go of that "what's mine is yours" mindset either way. xiaojun really enjoys showing you off ("shoving your relationship into people's faces", as one german boy likes to call it), so you wearing his clothes or jewelry is his absolute favorite thing ever. he then stares at you with heart-shaped, sparkly eyes, a wide, lovesick grin on his face, and the tips of his ears burning red (to the german boy's disgust).

#hendery

being vulnerable with you

very few people get to see the other side of hendery than the cheerful, quirky self that he usually is. the side that's exhausted and afraid, that pains and ugly cries. a lot of doors have to opened to reach it, but he trusts you more than anything and anyone, ever. he doesn't think he could be any more real and unfiltered as he is with you, it's almost like it's more comfortable than when he's all alone. when you're there, he can just let everything go and express his feelings in a way that's most true to himself, without faking or conceiling anything. all those nights he spent crying because of his past, present, and future, because of his fears and scars and sorrows, you've been there for him. and although in the morning when you're tangled in your sheets with puffy faces and dry skin either of you knows better than to mention whatever was said that night, he's truly, deeply grateful, and each time he makes a promise to himself that one day he'll tell you that.

#yangyang

kissing

yangyang's nothing if not a kiss person. it's his favorite thing in the whole world, to be able to just connect your lips until he forgets his own name because yours is all he can think about. little pecks, french kisses, make out sessions, spiderman kisses - you name it, he loves all of them and they're all his favorites, as long as it's you who's on the other end. you often try to push him away because you just ate something with garlic, or because you have yet to brush your teeth in the morning, but none of that really matters to him. in fact, he cherishes every sensation that comes with it, be it a taste of what you ate, the feeling of your dry lips when you forget to put on chapstick, or a string of saliva that keeps you connected after you pull away - god, that one makes him go weak in the knees. he especially likes when you take the initiative, it makes him feel loved and all warm inside (he would never admit that though). and if you lead the kiss, maybe a bit riled up from something happening at work or because you've missed him? oh, he's a goner.

#taglist ➼♡ @bambisnc

©xdjville

[alicenpai]

hi! ive been a big fan of your work for a while now, and i was just wondering if you have any tips or anything for selling merch online? :>

hi anon! so you want to be a con artist huh 👁👁 ...

^ a real con artist..

i’m not sure if you wanted online specific tips or general merch tips, but i compiled a bit of both! (also not sure if you're a beginner to art in general, there's a difference between a more experienced artist doing merch for the first time + beginner artists trying merch for the first time bc the risks involved are different)

i wrote more on the subject but i cut some out because it seemed too long.. and i tend to ramble ^__T it's hard to answer questions like these because they're so generalized, but if you had any more specific questions feel free to send another ask!

^ random image for visual interest

general tips for beginners(?)

merch can be fun, and it is! but in the end always remind yourself you're running a business, and it's real money you're going to be spending. it's good to take risks (on things like, new product types if you think your art is ready for it, or less popular series/more experimental designs, etc.) as you learn a lot from them, but always think over financial decisions carefully at the same time.

what helped me grow a lot as both a merch artist (and as a general artist) over 10 years is - a lot of reflection. and i mean a LOT of it. in terms of art in general i don't personally do a lot of studies (which is probably my downfall and i need to get back to it) but i think im pretty observant and introspective which helps me improve a lot. i often write my silly little blog posts on tumblr, I'll write notes on my phone if i have a train of thought i need to get down quickly.

i also often discuss merch things with friends and it really helps to get varying perspectives. (though i admit i should really share wips more, i used to but not as much anymore. blame the working life haha, not as many people have time to discuss non-work art anymore ;_;). all of these things keep me on my toes and weigh my strengths and weaknesses. if anyone is interested i could write more on the specific topics i reflect on after every con/shop opening.

stick to the tried and true 5-10 copies per design for beginners! this range sounds too little, but don't forget the big picture as well... you'll likely also have multiple different designs, across different product types.

e.g. 5 copies x 4 characters/designs, and let's say you do this for every product type (e.g. postcards, stickers, charms), 5 x 4 x 3 = 60 individual pieces of merch. that's a pretty solid number for a first timer!

i also personally print 5-10 copies of designs im doing for a test print run, or for characters that don't seem particularly popular.

15 is the average amount for me for a short run product (1 con season)

i certainly reprint often + go higher sometimes if i dont mind the product being in my catalogue for years.

15 is not too many in case the design is unpopular and doesn't sell, and it's also not too little that it won't be enough sales to break even.

promo images & taking photos (online specific)

i'm not a professional photographer and these photos might be absolute ass to some people. i will accept that, and honestly id agree with you. this is just my advice for straightforward, simple photos.

good quality and clear photos are best. it's great fun to use props in photos, and they can certainly turn your photos from plain to impressive. but it's easy to get carried away with props and fancy scrapbook paper imo, and i prefer to let the artwork speak for itself. honestly keeping it simple can be the best option sometimes. i used to take a lot more photos back in 2022 when i had less new products, but nowadays i find that i have too many products to take photos of, so i prefer to just keep my photos simple with a white piece of paper as my backdrop. i just. shrimply cannot be bothered taking out all of the props anymore...

above: the backdrop in this photo is bad, it's distracting and takes away from the artwork. (fe charms from 2016)

this are photos taken on a sunny day.

if you don't have a good phone camera (mine is ~5 years old), ive found that taking photos on a sunny day, either inside or outside, work great for me, as it shows off the natural colour of your product best. i either take it to the garden or i like to find a patch of sunlight filtering through the window. be wary of glare or too much light reflecting on your merch in photos though, because it can be distracting and take away from visibility on the product. but i can understand if a bit of glare ends up on one's finalized merch photos.

this is an example of utilizing light at a certain angle to show off the holographic film on this charm.

sunny photo vs cloudy photo.

taking photos inside on a cloudy day during daylight hours is also a popular option, especially if you live in an area where there isn't much direct sunlight/cloudy season, but for me personally i find cloudy day photos come out a bit dull and do take a bit of colour correcting. all of my cloudy day photos are tweaked and i find the colours to be a bit off from the original products, but that's just how it is with taking photos i guess.

because i don't have a great phone camera, my personal alternative is to make graphics! i just think of it as a collage to use fun textures and PNGs! im obviously not a professional, and these probably look very bad in a professional's eye. but i think it's fun. i like to incorporate the aesthetic or visual style of the series into the graphic if i do make em. ^_^

store platform

each one has their pros and cons. many store platforms have trial periods/free plans for people to try out.

bigcartel is what i use and i'm familiar with, and i would honestly recommend it. (i'm too lazy to move or try another platform right now...) for big store openings ill pay for a month or two of the basic $15 plan. ill use the free gold plan on bigcartel if im only planning to open my store for a limited time and don't want to commit to a full monthly plan.

storenvy: i've used storenvy from about 2014-16. i moved from storenvy for issues such as charging customers fees for purchasing from storenvy's marketplace page (and not from your actual personalized storefront) and urging me to use stripe even though it wasn't supported in canada at that time. im not sure if theyve fixed these issues but they were pervasive issues at the time that honestly forced me to quit. it also has a kind of outdated UI (e.g. can't zoom into pics on mobile?).

i think storenvy is a very easy to use platform for beginners because it's very basic! but i wouldn't recommend it if you have a great number of products, or if you're looking for more advanced features.

tictail isn't available anymore, i couldn't recommend it for that reason. i used it from around 2016-18.

i don't have any experience on shopify or etsy. shopify i heard is great because of all of the neat features you can implement, which you can use to really make your store yours. etsy has a huge marketplace which helps discoverability, but i have also heard there are many fees, so a lot of artists unfortunately make their prices a bit higher on etsy.

ecwid is also one that i've heard pop up. some also host shops on weebly or squarespace.

shipping

if you don't already have a kitchen scale, it's a good idea to get one if you think you'll be using it a lot to weigh packages! a postage scale is probably better. i just have a kitchen scale because it's cheap. as long as the measurements are precise (don't use a bathroom scale with a dial like me when i started out lmao).

thermal labels are also a good investment if you think youll need em!! i actually don't personally use them, because i have way too much hand-me-down stacks of paper in my home, so i don't see the need to make an extra investment. the downside to printing shipping labels on paper is taking the time to cut and stick them on packages.

i'm from canada (surprising the amount of people who think im from the US T__T) so these tips will be canadian specific, but you can hopefully get the gist.

when i was starting out, i used canada post (usps is the american equivalent) to send out store orders. however shipping labels from your govt post office can be pricey. which is why it's a good option to join their small business program if they have one, where you'll receive discounts on shipping labels. i don't use canada post shipping anymore, but i will use them for countries that my shipping agent doesn't ship to.

also take advantage of their free shipping tuesdays for domestic packages in october!! i believe you can receive 2 free labels per tuesday, up to 4 or 5 tuesdays for the entire month = 8-10 free labels in october.

next step is shipping agents!! if you live close to a chitchats or stallion express facility, they're great, and they usually provide tracking on shipping by default. in my opinion, tracking on orders is a MUST, so customers can have peace of mind! (minus like sticker-only shipping because that could be sent with postage stamps)

they also do home pickup if you have a bunch of packages in bulk/can't get to a facility. i believe americans have pirate ship.

you print and stick on your shipping labels at home, then you just travel to the shipping facility and throw your packages in the right bins (e.g. domestic, US, international). that's it! easy as pie!

i personally use chitchats because that is closer to me. i had heard stallion provides better rates for international shipping, which i'll have to look at at a later date.

most of my orders come from the US and canada. (funnily enough it is unfortunately cheaper to send packages from canada to USA, than it is for me to send packages within canada.) international orders are a bit of a pain, and you will need to know tariff codes for your product types (e.g. prints have a diff code than buttons) while writing the customs form. people in some countries will get taxed on all imported packages (e.g. packages marked as "sold goods" and not "gifts"). an alternative to this is to use etsy, so that customers can pre-pay for the tariffs before the order is processed. this is something i'll also look into for the future.

posting

wow now you're now done organizing your shop and promo images and you're ready to post! a good strategy is to post across multiple platforms to see what sticks. it takes effort and time but it can have a solid turnout! (i forget sometimes, don't be like me)

i don't know if this is true, but a lot of keywords words such as "shop", "store", "link" and etc. are apparently suppressed on social media (particularly twitter). don't take my word for it however.

shop posts don't generally do as well as regular art posts for most artists. but disregarding censored words for a second, it can also be attributed to psychological reasons, generally people don't like to be advertised to. (e.g. tumblr doesn't have an algorithm and shop posts usually dont do as well here either. tumblr users are just not receptive to clicking on links apparently).

personally, writing alternate terms like "sh0p" just isn't for me, but no shade though, bc i do understand workarounds are hard and everyone needs to make a living somehow. ill instead use words like, "leftovers are in" or "new items are up!" something more vague, but with the accompaniment of merch images, will still be clear to people that it's a shop update.

sharing your shop promo posts in artist alley discord servers also help a lot, especially if you don't know too many artists when starting out. they're a great resource and community full of passionate individuals who will boost your art. if you're not familiar with them, you can find some public ones on google or maybe even artist communities on reddit. a big one is Artist Alley Network International.

if there are some topics you think i've missed, feel free to send em over to my inbox!! ill also think more about this in the coming days and edit this post as i see fit 🫡

[spiderfreedom]

my suffering is profound and legitimate, yours is frivolous nonsense

Just reading a blogger I like but I had to laugh because she was talking about how beauty practices are bad for women's mental health, and she left a note saying "unlike gender affirming care! gender affirming care improves people's mental health and it's nothing at all like cosmetic practices."

TIL, when an older woman gets botox to remove her wrinkles and avoid facing the inevitability of decline and death, her problem is spiritual/structural and she needs to Do The Work to deprogram her ageism, unlike people with dysphoria, who of course have legitimate claims to cosmetic alteration.

And it is cosmetic - no part of the body that is altered by HRT or SRS or any of the feminization/masculinization surgeries is failing to function or functioning poorly. The problem is with the brain, which perceives the body parts as foreign or undesirable. We may sympathize with someone struggling with such a condition, but that does not change that the body parts being altered were already healthy and the alterations are cosmetic, and the relief being brought about is mental.

But plenty of trans people openly admit that separating body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria is a losing game. Contrapoints's video on "Beauty" (transcript) has the observation that she feels least dysphoric when she is meeting feminine beauty norms:

But I also think that trans people often talk like gender dysphoria is this intrinsic, personal experience that's always 100% valid and never has anything at all to do with the external pressure of beauty standards. But in fact, gender dysphoria is not sealed away in a vacuum away from the influence of societal ideals and norms.  [...] When I try to psychoanalyze myself, I find that my desires to look female, to look feminine, and to look beautiful are not exactly the same, but they're woven together so tightly that it's kind of difficult to untangle them. And the opposite is also true, that for me feeling mannish or dysphoric usually goes along with feeling ugly. I don't have a lot of days where I walk out the house thinking "well, I'm giving femme queen realness, but apart from that I look like absolute shit". 

Max Robinson's book "Detransition," from an FTM perspective, points out how the prospective trans man views his suffering as unique from and distinct from women's, even as the surgeries they seek are not especially different:

The stereotypical cosmetic surgery patient is seeking to become closer to being perfectly feminine - she wants to be beautiful. Transitional cosmetic surgery, on the other hand, is widely understood to mark the patient as ex-female and therefore unfemale; this is part of the meaning FTMs seek to create through surgery. FTM desire for cosmetic surgery is positioned as something totally different than the stereotype of a woman who 'merely' seeks beauty at her frivolous leisure. FTMs are deemed to have a rare affliction that needs urgent, life-saving treatment. Conversely, there is nothing more common than for a woman to become obsessed with her socially-deemed 'unsatisfactory' looks and desperately seek to change them, believing that such a change is the only thing that can restore her quality of life. This comparison will feel like an insult to the FTM. It will feel that way because we believe other women's suffering doesn't matter, and recognize how much ours does. Women's suffering is ordinary but ours is extraordinary. For us to matter, we must be differentiated from the silly little woman who wants to be pretty so badly she'll pay thousands of dollars (now billable to credit cards and loan programs designed to pay for elective surgeries!) to risk her life and health. These women don't need to be fixed; we do. FTMs know that we don't deserve a woman's fate but have not yet realized that no woman does.

I have more to write on the topic of the relationship between gender identity and beauty culture, but I'll end this one here. It makes sense that somebody who is identified with the opposite sex would also be affected by the standards of beauty expected of that sex. (Non-binary identification is more complicated and requires separate treatment.)

[chronicbeans]

Wally and a Puppeteer Reader (part 3)

My brain has gone on with this idea and I love where it is going. Yippee!

TW: Obsessive Behavior, Stalking, Scopophobia/Eye Imagery, Idol Worshipping

🎥 This has gone on long enough! In just a few weeks since that interview, the letters and pictures have increased tenfold! You keep finding Wally in the oddest of places, like on your desk, in the lounge, or even next to your locker. It constantly feels like eyes are watching you.

🎥 Even the contents of the letters are getting stranger. They were always odd and creepy, but at least before they had lighthearted words in them. Now they're saying things like "You're the air I breathe and all I see. You make my days better or worse. You keep me warm and keep this neighborhood bright! Please, never abandon me!" It's all written in that messy crayon writing, too, which makes an eerie contrast to the words that makes you sick. It seems so childishly unaware of how disturbing the words are when thought about for too long.

🎥 The drawings aren't much better. Nine out of ten times, they include you in some way. From the pictures just including you, including you and the characters from Welcome Home, to - worst of all, in your opinion - you in real life places. You sitting at your desk. You sleeping in the lounge. You getting a cookie at the snack stand during the interview. There's even one of you putting on your coat at the lockers. The drawings may not be the highest quality, but they are detailed enough to both be recognizable places and to alarm you.

🎥 You have an idea of who it might be. It's gotta be Wally's voice actor. They were his puppeteer before their arthritis kicked in. They just couldn't move their hands enough to properly puppet him anymore, always complaining that it hurt, despite the medications they took. But, the producer did decide to keep them as Wally's voice actor, saying that nobody could replicate his distinct laughter, tone of speech, and voice pitch. Despite this, Wally's voice actor was properly ticked and hated the fact they were replaced. They're always acting passive aggressive towards you. It must be them, probably to try to scare you away.

🎥 Today, you have decided to confront them. Marching over to their recording booth, you knock on the door. When they open it, they have that signature glare that would put even Frank's to shame. Before they can even ask what you want, you tell them all about what has been going on and how you know they have been doing it. They have to be behind it. All of these drawings and letters have Wally's signature writing and art style. The only person that knows Wally more than you is his voice actor. It HAS to be them!

🎥 They grow silent, before looking at the pictures and letters. Then, they look up at you and say, in the most matter of fact tone "I haven't been able to draw or write anything in character for a YEAR, (Y/N). What makes you think I would put myself through the pain of trying to replicate it after all this time, with my horrible joints, just to frighten YOU, of all people? You aren't worth my time, much less my comfort. You got any other evidence to accuse me of this... Whatever this is?"

🎥 You grow silent. To be honest, thinking back on it, it really is a stupid idea that they would do all of this to scare you. If they couldn't even muster up the energy to go out of their way to verbally confront you, then it would be shocking for them to put the effort to write and draw things to do so. You still have one more question, though...

🎥"What about the voice I've been hearing? It sounds just like Wally. You are his voice actor. You have gotta know something."

🎥 Their eyes grow wide. Then, they shrug "The one that has been saying things about... well, something. It's always a bit too muffled to hear exactly what it is. I thought you somehow improved your Wally impression and were practicing in order to replace me completely. Your impression may be off enough for the producers to care, but it was always the best one here. You're telling me you aren't the one making that voice?"