#for the equivalent of ridiculous amounts of real world money

[moons-rising]

really can't post anything that might even slightly make flight rising a more fun game without someone crawling out of the woods crying about ThE eCoNoMyyy 😭 maybe it's the anticapitalist in me but y'all i do not give a shit about the economy of some pixel game on the internet lmfaooo i'm an adult with a job. who gives a shit

[wowwforever]

POKEMON EVIL TEAMS RANKED BY HOW LIKELY I WOULD BE TO JOIN THEM

Team Flare

I'm not wearing that suit and I'm not changing my hair. Lysandre is easily the fucking dumbest antagonist and if their plan is successful either they're immortal and I have to live with these losers forever or the whole world dies and I have to live with these losers until I die.

Team Yell

This entire team is centered around having a parasocial relationship with a teenage girl. Also British.

Team Galactic

Similar horrible haircut, bad outfit, and death cult scenario to Team Flare. At least they're like a semi-actual company. I could maybe just go bald and get a regular job after the Poke-government liquidates Team Galactic LLC. But I legitimately think this would be the least fun evil company to work at. Imagine stealing some kids Pokemon but you get chewed out by fucking Galactic Admin Uranus because you forgot to fill out the Paperwork.

The Lame Part of Team Plasma

Okay so to clarify these are the people that actually believe in the Team Plasma shit, which means I'd probably be spit on in the streets while wearing chainmail in New York. Why the fuck would I wear Chain Mail on the East Coast? Do you know how much rust there is? Also I have to become a ginger and worship some green manchild as a monarch. At least they're not a death cult.

Team Rocket

This one is just being a criminal. Like, yeah, you get to steal Pokemon but there's no real advantages except the free gray boots. Probably does not pay well and Giovanni leaving kind of sent them spiraling. Plus they have a lot of Koffings in an underground base so you know there's like lung damage galore. The R stands for Respiratory Distress.

Team Aqua

I don't like the idea of being surrounded by the ocean and I do not like boats and submarines. I would actively join this to sabotage their plan. Also every other evil team has an actual place to put their Pokeballs but this one it seems like the plan is to just shove it in my underwear? ???

Team Star

I haven't actually played Scarlet and Violet because I recently learned I can legally drink. I think this one is the equivalent of a school club? So I'm not actually getting paid to do evil shit. I'd probably just join, like, DnD club or something.

Team Rainbow Rocket

I'd join this one just because I know it's going to fail. I mean, it's got like four people who explicitly just want to end the world in different ways. I'm just gonna join and steal pens and shit until it eventually crashes in on itself for infighting. I'd wear my gay-ass R shirt every june in line with a P, I, D, and E.

The Cool Part of Team Plasma

Fuck yeah. This is the Team Plasma that knows the shit Ghetsis is up to. I'd love to be in on the scheme, plus I don't have to wear chainmail. Downside is I'd probably get murdered or have to murder to stay in, and they have the biggest shot of accomplishing their goal. But Ghetsis is hot so that's a plus.

Team Magma

This one is because there's 0.0% chance this plan will work but I get to just hang out in these cute-ass hoodies and pet camerupts all day. Look at that outfit, I'd wear that all the time. That being said, would probably have to be a field guy. Their location is in a volcano. I'm gonna get a call that says 'Hey all of Team Magma's leadership died' and I'd have to get a job at like Poke7-11 with a major gap in my resume.

Macro Cosmos

This hardly counts as a villain team because they're just, like, security guards for a company whose CEO goes a lil nuts. This is like if you worked for Virgin Atlantic and Richard Branson decided to summon Satan. No one can really put that on you. You'd probably get paid ridiculous amounts of money for essentially doing nothing. Con is you'd have to live in Galar.

Aether Foundation

Working for the Aether Foundation is like doing an internship at Bell Labs or whatever. The evil shit is probably fixed by the end of the game and I could just go back to researching Rotom electromagnetic applications and have that 'week where we tried to fuck up reality' be a weird company thing we brush under the rug. The con is they have all white outfits so I can't eat spaghetti at work. But even if I left I could probably just use Aether Foundation as a decent enough jumping off point for any career.

Team Skull

Genuinely this is just goofing off with a bunch of scummy weirdos. I can respect that and their outfits are thankfully not skin-tight jumpsuits, but main I'd join because they all kind of suck. With the most moderate competency I could run Team Skull. Also Guzma. He's pretty hot.

[lunar-system]

izzy thoughts

i didn't feel at all the death was accidental or without a cause. izzy was the most himself when he told ricky to go fuck himself and defended the pirate way of life without a regard for his own personal safety. he was targeted by ricky's gun because he so vocally and ferociously stood up for what he believed in

izzy dying because he stood up to what he believes in FEELS BAD because it IS BAD in the show's actual universe as well. He died to what is the show's equivalent of homophobia, he got hate-crimed for his pirate life style, ricky targeted him because he stood up for himself and his people – that is horrible! for us and for the characters! in the actual story! it was a sad and unfair way to go! and ricky is a villain who did a horrible thing to a character we love! it hurts! gaahhh!

what hurts in real life is that we were under the assumption that there would not be hate-crime equivalent things in the show. it was a safe show for many. so yeah, of course it's a shock. the assumption is that if someone does something racist or homophobic etc in this show, they get punished right away and laughed at. but this time the bad guy actually killed someone. the violence was real. izzy hands still didn't operate under the muppet rule set. real world violence rules applied to him this one time.

why was this wound deadly when no other was? because this show decides the stakes and accuracies on a case by case basis. right now it wanted it to count. eternal arguments can be had about if that was the right choice or not.

yes, it felt kinda unfair that the show trained us not to fear death. ed practically died earlier this season, and he was fine. it was a weird surprise that for izzy the death was permanent. well. unless season 3 proves us otherwise. a long con. we'll see.

the fact that djenkins happens to be mostly on the same page with fandom, i think that's a happy accident. remember that he was surprised that people didn't dare to believe ed/stede was happening? he didn't know the fandom's long history with queerbaiting. he was just writing his show. it makes sense he would not be up to date with the fandom style politics of that you should not kill a character who is a strong symbol for something in the real world. sounds to me like it was a similar surprise than the queerbaiting one. earlier he happened to play with fandom rules, but he doesn't really know there are that much rules at all. now he happened to go against one rule, just like he happened to go by the rules earlier. he writes the kinda fanfic he likes. and right now he liked the weight that an actual character death has. unfortunately in tv shows there are no tags "major character death" to soften the punch.

could he have predicted how massively popular izzy became with his new added arc? i'm not sure. To some degree you can try to predict the impact your writing has in the real world, but you can't really control how your work is received. with the release of s2 i saw it in real time, the weight that izzy had and the importance of him for many. maybe it was a surprise that the redemption arc was that effective. and tv shows are really, reaaaally slow to make. you have to stick with a decision you have made a long time ago, unless you have ridiculous amounts of money to throw around for reshoots. And once a season is airing, it is absolutely too late to start changing anything. Djenkis wanted an impactful death, and he ended up with a bit TOO impactful one. There's no changing it, I personally don't see a point with fighting it, it happened, it was written, shot, edited, colour graded, composed, produced with care and set in stone a long time ago, and now we work with what we have. Maybe i'm just not confrontational, but I was given this, it's what I have, so I'll find a way to roll with it. Maybe I'll use a bit of fiction to cover the trauma, you know? cause not moving on is worse? Honestly, I think whittling a shark would be a great way to pay homage to izzy. I should get some soft wood to do it.

no end thoughts, just, gosh he was a wonderful character. loved to get to know him. rip izzy <3

[emptymanuscript]

After several rounds of elimination played with myself, I think I have convinced myself out of ten of the possible projects down to four legit contenders for NaNoWriMo next month.

The Luna & Bacall Supernatural Detective Agency

The Fairies' Graveyard

The Count of Earth

Goal-Go!

They're all fairly different projects.

The Luna & Bacall Supernatural Detective Agency is fairly straight forward Urban Fantasy. Fairly silly people in terrible situations. It's essentially a fish out of water story with the least qualified detectives imaginable dealing with the worst sort of criminals imaginable and just sort of bumbling through in spite of the fact that they would have been dead in chapter 2 if it was an even vaguely realistic story. It has the advantage that I've already written some of it, and I expect it will be the most 'ridiculous fun' of the choices. Luna (Loon) Khonsu and Rebecca (Betch) Bacall the bff MCs are ridiculous. They have no place in a serious story and they're just going to plow through it until the story they're in stops being serious.

The Fairies' Graveyard is a very not straight forward. It's still fantasy but it is a novel-in-stories. A bunch of interrelated short stories (which is its real appeal to me because I want to learn the art of the short story) that convey a greater whole between them, sort of like Futureland: Nine Stories of an Imminent World by Walter Mosley. It's thread is an alternate 'history' where Fae survivors of a massive catastrophe have to figure out how to live in permanent exile in the human world. It also has the advantage that I've already written some of it and I'm very interested in the literary 'fuck you' that makes up a decent portion of the connective cores of the whole. Unfortunately it is also the grimmest of the choices. While I do (currently) think it has a happy ending, it isn't meant to be a light or easy read. I don't particularly expect it to be fun or comfortable. The only funny thing is that it actually started life as a porno-fan-fic idea until I realized that I had written something FAR too serious to have it match up with the original concept.

The Count of Earth is a Space Opera. Very soft Sci-fi that is meant to feel a bit like a folktale in space. The far future equivalent of one of the longer tales out of One Thousand and One Nights. Probably more accurately one of the French fakes inserted by one of the translators. It's one of the oldest story ideas that I'm still interested in, since I first had the idea for it back in 2014. I've written the beginning several times. I know, generally, what I want the story to be, but I kinda just can't quite get it to sing. The real advantage of it in NaNoWriMo will be letting go of its singing voice and just getting it down. It's also the only one of the four with no magic in it. The only "magic" is advanced technology (FTL, Interplanetary communications, Artificial Intelligences, Orbital Bombardment, etc.) and a massive amount of money. It's also the only one where a romantic love story will be a major plot line, as Jun, the MC who is the titular Count, falls in love with the Princess (? the Daughter of a Sovereign of a state like a King who is below the ultimate Sovereign of his political union like an Emperor) Mayari, who is the daughter of his 'master's enemy. Which is a mixed bag since I enjoy romantic subplots but I'm terrible at them.

Goal-Go! is Progression (Science) Fantasy. It acknowledges itself as existing within a Sci-fi universe while mostly dealing with magic within the 'scientifically' generated simulation. Even the blatantly 'scientific' ideas, like the transfer of files between folders on different computer systems for instance, are handled like magic. It's definitely the 'biggest' project, as in requiring the most amount of work from me, even if it is actually meant to be a fairly quick and easy read. Since my central conceit is that Goal-Go! is a 3rd person Choose Your Own Adventure. A game within a game. I will have to work hard to avoid making Inception references. I'm fairly certain I can't actually write the full text in 30 days but I could probably set up what I thought of as the default storyline, the one I would expect most readers to choose. And start working on the branches off of that. It's also just an ambitiously complicated structural idea. The story isn't much. Pulling it off will be a phenomenal amount of work and it may just simply be too much for NaNoWriMo even in abridged form. I think I'm only even considering it because I wanna and because I don't see it as very likely that I'll commit to it without something like NaNoWriMo, just some huge push against the phenomenal weight of the project. I wanna do it but it is intimidating. I'm also just not sure how fun Goal-Go! will be. And it will kind of be a waste of time if it isn't fun. Fun is its justification for existing. Though it's a different kind of fun from The Luna & Bacall Supernatural Detective Agency. It's gamey fun instead of fool victorious fun. The constant task will be keeping it from bogging down which I think it will simply tend toward. I probably should just nix it for safety and say no. But. I do kinda still wanna.

All of which gets me not really any closer to deciding which of the four to actually do. They're all kind of different enough that it's hard to compare them and pick out what will be the "best" experience for me. Hmmmph. Decisions. Decisions.

[killian-whump]

Well, it’s a good thing he at least tried to address concerns before today.

Because today we all found out:

1. There ain’t one NFT. There’s 1,105 of them. That means that instead of his NFT using approximately 75 kWh (the same amount of energy as an average US household would use in about 2.5 days (source)), his NFTs are going to use a collective 82,875 kWh (the same amount of energy as an average US household would use in about seven and a half fucking years).

2. There’s three tiers. This doesn’t affect the environmental impact, but it does speak to the business tactics of the people behind this project. All along, it’s been touted as an animated NFT of Colin dancing to a song that was chosen by him and the TSR crew. NOT TRUE. Only five of the 1,105 NFTs being sold are of this - and those five “bad boys” are being sold to the highest bidders. The other 1,100 NFTs are not what was promised at all. This is like Apple advertising a new iPhone for weeks, then revealing on release day that only the five richest people can buy the iPhone they’ve been advertising - but everyone else can choose one of these two new iPod models, instead. It’s a bait and switch, people.

3. They’re ridiculously expensive. Not only are the five dancing Colin NFTs going to the highest bidders, but the base tier ones, the lowest priced ones that only provide virtual “perks” and the presumed glory (source needed) of owning an NFT are going to be sold for .1 ETH (Etherium) a piece. You probably don’t know off-hand how much real world money that equates to. It sounds like a low price, doesn’t it? IT’S NOT. Each of the basic first tier NFTs costs $179 US dollars. We’re not even given a price tag for the second tier NFTs... but we can safely assume they’ll be asking a good deal more for those. The third tier ones are listed as having a value of 13 ETH (equivalent to $23,202 USD), so I’m assuming that’s the starting bid. [Edit: Second tier NFTs are $1,334 each. I’ve updated the totals below to reflect that.]

Yes, you read that right. TSR is looking to make over $400,000 dollars off of Colin O’Donoghue’s NFTs.

Listen, I said I would continue to support Colin himself, even though I am not supporting this project. I said I was moved by his attempt to smooth things over and address fans’ concerns. But now I see why he actually did it - because he knew damn well that if we were unhappy already, we’d be seriously disturbed once all this additional shit hit the fan. It wasn’t him listening to us or trying to make things right - it was pre-emptive damage control.

I allowed myself to fall into the seductive belief that Colin just got in a little over his head, maybe didn’t fully understand what he was signing up for, and maybe it was too late to back out now or else he would... hell, I even let myself imagine that maybe poor, innocent Colin was being taken advantage of - that his fame and fandom were being used to make money for greedy NFT bros.

But you don’t accidentally stumble into a $400,000+ profit business venture. You don’t unintentionally lend your voice and likeness to a three part video tutorial to walk your fans through the process of turning their real-world cash into virtual currency that they can fund that venture with. You don’t innocently try to do damage control two days before dropping a metric shit-ton of exactly what everyone’s afraid of onto their proverbial doorsteps.

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.

This isn’t what I signed on for.

[astaroth1357]

Demon Brothers as Roommates

Intro:

So, the MC has left the Devildom and, of course, everybody is quite sad… But this time around, they have a little trick up their sleeve. With just a bit of magic (and training thanks to Solomon) the MC can now summon one of their favorite demon boys up to the human world with them! There's just, uh, one problem though… After being summoned to their side, their beloved demon now refuses to leave it.

Alright MC, enjoy your new demonic roommate!!

Lucifer

Apparently Lucifer is on sabbatical… And yes, he does appreciate that irony in that.

Lucifer actually has a surprising amount of human world money stashed away in alias accounts (because this man renting a cheap motel on business trips? Let's be real) so he uses that wealth to get them a place befitting his standards… which are high.

Spacious apartments in nice areas that would make even the upper middle-class shit their pants? Congrats, MC, that's where you're staying now!

Even with all that money, though, Lucifer CANNOT sit idle for a second. The guy is used to working all his life and just sitting around would drive him insane!

Expect him to still be running some Devildom affairs long-distance style while doing something else on the side, probably stock market stuff tbh.

Is going to want to pay for and provide everything himself but will respect the MC if they still want to work and split the bills (not to a ridiculous degree, though, like half-and-half because that would mean getting three jobs at least).

A lot of trips and vacations too, especially if the MC likes to travel. It’s a good excuse to relax while also technically doing something so he doesn’t lose his mind doing nothing in particular.

He is going to be that strict roommate who expects you not to be a slob and isn't afraid to say so. Regularly scheduled cleaning/organization days are mandatory because hygiene is important. Take some pride in yourself and wash up, MC. That kind of thing.

Also going to have short-fuse for… antics. If you want to prank him, do so at your own risk because he may prank back (and that’s not nearly as fun as it sounds, trust me.)

Mammon

Yeah so, living with Mammon is like the inverse of Lucifer. Prepare to be poooor.

Man has no human money, are you kidding me? Even if he did, he wouldn’t keep it for very long. Couples budgeting is a MUST if you’re looking to survive.

The apartment is going to be whatever the MC can more or less afford on their own with Mammon shoved in somewhere like a cheap lamp… Don’t expect a lot of room.

However, Mammon is great at the hustle. Man can work multiple jobs and actually be pretty dang good at them. For the most part, anyway. He may occasionally trip up and get himself fired, but he bounces back quick.

If the MC isn’t so moral he can also uh… “find” some extra money lying around too. Just be careful when playing with fire, right?

Even if they’re poor as shit, Mammon is still a blast to be around. The guy knows how to have fun on and off of a budget. Lots of “window shopping” (getting kicked out of stores for goofing off), nightclubs, amusement parks, and cheap fun. They’ll never be without a story to tell or a smile on their face!

He IS pretty slobbish though. He’s not going to remember to clean up after himself unless told, but he’s also not going to be bothered if they don’t do the same thing. A weekly cleaning day is going to be ideal unless they don’t mind living in a pigsty...

Prank waaaaars!! The kind of guy to get them both water guns and have a war in the middle of the apartment complex. Good luck getting any rest with Mammon around.

Leviathan 

Whelp, your room is now his room, quite literally MC. You had to pick the shut-in…

The guy isn’t exactly poor but what human money he does have is all wrapped up in his many interests… Merch interests specifically. 

Thankfully, he won’t take up too much space. Put him in a room with a desk, bed (or bathtub), TV, and computer and he’s good to go! 

He’s not going to be a complete bum, thankfully. There’s no way that they can get him to leave the apartment, but he can run small online stores (usually anime themed) or become a streamer. Probably enough to help pay the bills, but not much more.

If they don’t mind having a literally permanent housemate, then being with Levi has its own kind fun. Lots of anime marathons, movie nights, and game nights. Really, it’s just like how he was in the House, but now transported to the human world.

Is probably going to want a pet goldfish, snake ,or lizard so prepare to house Henry 3.0.

When he does leave the apartment, it’s to take the MC to conventions, concerts, or anime stores. He always manages to get just enough money for these trips, but never says where the money comes from… Best not to ask. Could be black market for they know...

… He’s a shut-in. He’s a shut-in roommate. Hygiene isn’t exactly his main concern. If they ask him to, he’ll make sure to clean up after himself, but he may need a reminder.

Can have a fun side, but just don’t mess with his stuff too much. He doesn’t need a Mammon 2.0 around too...

Satan

He's either hatching a plan for world domination or adopting 10 cats… One or the other.

About as poor as Mammon at first, but threat not. He won’t be for very long. Satan is intelligent beyond his years (or equivalent his years maybe?) so he’ll probably net himself several degrees within a couple semesters like a certified prodigy.

At that point, there really isn’t much to worry about (aside from student loans, join our pain Satan) but he can sell himself just fine and probably get some high paying job like a lawyer or doctor or whatever… I’m not jealous…

They’ll start out in a pretty modest place, but there will be upgrades fairly quickly when he starts racking it in so Satan’s a fairly decent choice as a roommate.

He does still have that nasty habit of breaking things when he’s pissed off, but that can be subverted by getting a pet! Just hold up whatever cat you own when he’s about to rampage then declare that he’s scaring/upsetting them and he’ll stop in his tracks. Works every time!

Probably going to be the most domestic out of the brothers. He enjoys cooking (and ain’t half bad at it either), shopping is a practical necessity, he’ll take care your pets like they were his own flesh and blood, etc.

There will even to be points where he’s in bed reading in the middle of the night with tea and reading glasses like some kind of grandma so take that image for what you will.

Satan is the prankster of the household, but he does his pranks more as a way to give grief to his enemies rather than for funsies. Be warned, if you poke this bear he will retaliate for sweet, sweet revenge and he has centuries worth of pranks behind him. Good luck.

Asmodeus 

It's a new party every night, sweetie, get used to it!

Asmo is the only other brother who has some amount of money to offer from his own trips to the human world, but it's just a modest amount.

Is totally willing to work to help pay for a nice place. He wants a building nice enough to host parties!

Would go back to modeling and maybe dip his toe into acting from time to time… He gets a lot of gigs (this IS the Avatar of Lust after all) so they won't be strapped for cash. Which is good, because Asmo is a very "business by day, but party every night" kind of person. 

Do know that his shopping is NOT going to slow down either. Keep an eye on the budget.

He’s also going to make friends wherever he goes so he’s going to want for them all to hang out at least somewhat regularly.

That being said, he can tone it down some if the MC so desires, just know that they can’t keep him cooped up in the apartment for too long or he’ll start getting antsy. You can’t keep this stallion locked up, MC, he needs to run free!!

Being with Asmo is going to be like having a free pass to whatever gathering the MC wants to go to, at least. He could even get them into red carpet events with just his sheer charisma, charm, and er-… “charms.” Who doesn’t want to meet their favorite actress or singer, eh?

But oh, sweetie, please don’t prank him! Life is too short to waste on silly games (he also just genuinely just doesn’t enjoy being messed with so best not do it).

Beelzebub 

Brave choice, MC, but quick question. How in the world are you going to pay your food bills???

Beel is a real sweetheart through and through but his stomach is NOT. That thing will eat them out of house and home! (Maybe even literally!!) Both of them are going to have to work and probably some pretty looong hours (cause he’s got no money either).

Honestly, Beel would be best as a personal trainer in the human world. He’s a pretty decent combination of tough but genuinely kind and motivating. (The fact that he’s pretty easy on the eyes would help out a lot too).

But the MC won’t have to worry about Beel sneaking off with someone just looking for some “quality time.” He’d take his job seriously, though he’s not particularly versed in what the human body can’t handle so only the really dedicated (or masochistic) would stick with him anyway.

“Good work last week, April! You did so well that we’re going to go from 500 pushups to a thousand! … I can see you’re worried, but I believe in you.”

But hey, he can deadlift well over 2,000 pounds without breaking a sweat so who has the balls to argue with him, anyway?

Trying out every restaurant in town would be a must. He’d even plan out vacations for them with the sole purpose of travelling the globe and tasting the different flavors. Food trips!!

He's neat enough since he used to tidy up a lot for Belphie so no need to worry about him picking up after himself (except for the occasional pile of wrappers. Toss those out unless you want ants)

I mean, you can prank Beel if you want. He'll be pretty good-natured about it as long as it stays harmless. Just don't ruin any of his food, got it?

Belphegor 

So… Belphie makes for some excellent décor! Really he is great at laying around and looking fantastic just… he’s not that great at much else...

Realistically, choosing Belphie as a roommate is kind like having a high maintenance pet. He’s good for love and cuddles, but he’s not going to be helping with the bills or anything unless they whine incessantly about it.

If the MC can make enough for the both of them, then it should be fine. They won’t get upset and he won’t be crabby but if not… Oh boy.

Regular job Belphie is a needy Belphie. He’ll come back from whatever job he’s working, likely a night shift, and demand attention or cuddles right then and there. He needs to recharge those batteries, after all...

If he isn’t working then he's at his happiest. He can even pull off being a “househusband” of sorts. He’s not going to go above and beyond the call of duty, but he can keep the place clean, get a basic meal on the table (provided someone teaches him some human recipes), and get groceries if he needs to… You know, basic domestic shit.

They’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that, at some level, Belphie just doesn’t believe in “common curtesy” or “human decency.” If some neighbors are being too noisy for his liking, he will troll them to oblivion and beyond. He may even get sued for it if he takes it too far, so the MC will have to keep an eye on him…

He’s the House’s #2 prankster, but unlike Satan he doesn’t need any malice to be a little shit. The MC will be pranked and it will be at the most unexpected times. Be warned...

Check out my Masterlist for more!

[johannesviii]

This is a long post about Shaman King I started to write ages ago and I don���t have a good title for it

Let me tell you about Shaman King for a few minutes, okay. Because the new anime adaptation is coming in like 3 months and I’m still not ready for it. Also I started to write this post 5 years ago just because I re-read the whole thing at the time and it’s been in my drafts since then. Oops

But yeah Shaman King was the very first fandom I got into when I first had a real internet access, around 2003-2004. I was around fifteen. The manga was still going. And in retrospect, it was full of problems. Among other things:

Not enough female characters & questionable choices for most of the ones who actually have a part to play in the plot

A black character drawn with big lips (see above), and I REALLY HOPE this is gonna get fixed in the new anime ; I mean even the author stopped drawing him like that a few years ago when he did the “remix tracks” extra chapters so come on please

An imaginary native american tribe who, while pretty cool, is still imagined by a Japanese dude in 1999 soooo yeah there’s some rough corners here and there (edit: got some anon hate about that but I'm sorry, "ancient aliens" tropes always make me uncomfortable)

An art quality which gets worse and worse over time due to deadline pressures and an increasingly exhausted author

Was stopped before it could reach its natural conclusion (the author drew an actual ending years later and tbh it’s great so I’m putting this very low on the list)

So yeah. Manga from 1999. Problematic. Aged badly. It happens.

BUT.

In retrospect, most of it is such a kick in the metaphorical butt of shonen manga as a whole I can’t believe it was competing against Naruto and One Piece at some point?? Like

It’s a shonen so it plays the "dramatic and sudden power jump” game, but it uses it to reach a surprising conclusion (in the “new” ending I mean)

Most of the characters are “shamans” which means they can see ghosts and spirits, and they use them to fight, to work, or to help other people. This is a manga in which you’re gonna see a Russian shaman channeling a Vodyanoy spirit into a drum to create a torrential flood. You don’t see that in every manga

It’s stated right away that no shaman can be truely, irredeemably bad, because only good-natured people can see ghosts and spirits.

So, no matter how bad a villain may be, they must have had a good nature once even if they look like a complete bastard at the moment.

How far is the author willing to go with that concept? Pretty far

Even without talking about the main villain and how the story ends because, duh, spoilers... Like

My favorite character, who gets a full redemption arc later, cuts someone open in his first chapter

He’s one of the good guys 10 volumes later

Speaking of which the amount of gore in this manga has to be seen to be believed, Jump would never let this happen nowadays

If you’re wondering why this is in the “positive” (......?) list it’s because I was 14/15 and all kids that age crave blood and angst

The main character, Yoh, pictured above, is very laid-back, and I mean very. He listens to the in-world equivalent of Bob Marley and constantly wears big headphones. Also he wears sandals, and sometimes there’s a weed leaf drawn on his t-shirt

His parents arranged a mariage between him and a girl shaman even though they’re still teenagers, so this would have potential for High Drama - but surprisingly enough it turns out they like each other and after that he just goes around saying “this is my future wife” and she’s like “hello if you touch him I’m going to end you”

It sounds weird and it......... is, tbh, but it’s also refreshing among all the “ugh, girls, yuck” tropes that nearly all shonen mangas used to have at the time

Yoh’s main goal in life is to live with minimal effort

When his grandfather tells him he must train to participate in a shaman tournament which happens every 500 years, because the winner gets a wish granted by the Great Spirit, he decides his wish will be to make everybody’s life easy so that nobody will ever be forced to work or do shit they don’t want to do to survive anymore

Yoh Asakura is a Millenial icon don’t @ me

Speaking of which

Almost everyone in this series is broke as f█ck

Yoh owns a big house but that’s only because the price was ridiculously low since it’s the most haunted place in Tokyo and nobody else wants to live there. The house is constantly full of other characters (including enemies) who have literally nowhere else to go

The only important character who isn’t broke has money because his family is super rich but he hates all of them because they’re all bastards so it’s super awkward

Another character bought a really cool motorbike but he’s going to be in debt for the next 40 years

Also he’s a hobo

And also bi

What I’m trying to say is: relatable

Also the tournament is held by an imaginary Native American tribe. They’re also broke. All of them. The two judges who are in charge of the main characters live in a cramped appartment and often try to sell souvenirs in the street to pay the rent

I know that’s hashtag problematic but I still love them I can’t help it

Just like in most shonen mangas the hero seems to amass a big collection of Friends but since everyone is a weirdo in a way or another and comes from all over the world it looks even funnier

At some point during the tournament, the main characters have to form small groups of three in order to participate to the next part. Yoh’s team is one of the strongest teams among the ones we’ve met at this point, and is composed of 1) Yoh, a laid-back sleepy kid wearing toilet sandals 2) the aforementioned bi hobo who’s sad because his current crush is in a rival team, and 3) a thirty-something tatooed guy with no legs and an IV drip and who looks like he hasn’t slept since 1997

Oh and they all wear adds for a bath house

Because remember: everyone’s f█cking broke

Spoilers for the mid-point of the manga but I need to talk about it because it encapsulates everything I used to love in it

You’ve been warned

So

At some point the main character, Yoh, is asked to choose between staying in the tournament or resurrect his rival

This is framed as some kind of very heavy, very huge dilemma. Like oh no what will he do. Will he give up his dreams and hopes. Will You Push The Button(tm)

So the choice is presented to him

In a very dramatic way

And he immediately goes “there’s a way to save him?? YES PLEASE”

He doesn’t hesitate a single second and drops the tournament in a heartbeat to save the guy

This scene greatly contributed to make me a better person I’m not even joking at all

I love Yoh

So anyway I don’t have a proper conclusion for this

Shaman King is very flawed and its flaws need to be acknowledged to fully appreciate all the good things in it, and the “old” fandom from more than 15 years ago was a very good formative experience for me because the forum I was on (which was nuked from the face of the internet by a hacker “looking for training grounds” (his words not mine, he posted it on our frontpage a full week before he did it) in 2005, rip) was full of people who were really into criticising every little aspect of the manga but still loved it dearly

And I think that’s a healthy way to enjoy things and I think we should bring this back

Anyway

Shaman King extremely flawed but full of good things

I still can’t believe it’s back

Johannes out

[mymelancholiesblues]

No, Mia isn’t  "low-tier" compared to Ada (morally speaking, or w/e) – a measured answer?/essay

So, a couple of Ada haters tried to put up a false symmetry between both of these characters there on twitter, and it inspired me to put my own thoughts down in a more articulate essay as to why that's (Ada's somehow being morally worse than Mia) not sustained by canon in Resident Evil.

standing there, killing time

can't commit to anything but a crime

all the good girls go to hell

'cause even God herself has enemies

and once the water starts to rise

and heaven's out of sight

she'll want the Devil on her team. ⁕

First things first: let us debunk the false symmetry that they tried to establish between these two characters with extremely distinct archetypes – and worse, the following replies to this false symmetry and its poor arguments trying to validate it, pointing out that, in fact, no, character B (that would be Ada, btw) – which is so evidently and ridiculously different from character A (and that would be Mia) – is, in fact, WAY WORSE than character A, and then proceeding to assert some unsupported propositions about misogyny in Resident Evil (which, tbh, definitely IS a recurring problem in the franchise, but that in this case particularly, little or does not apply AT ALL) and how Ada contributes to "the perpetration of a biological cold war".

Starting with what differentiates Mia from Ada grotesquely: we know NOTHING of Ada's true alliances in RE's world. Mia, however, canonically worked for a group that participated in the importation and exportation as well as the manufacturing, testing and marketing of biological weapons: "The Connections", a CRIMINAL SYNDICATE which, amongst other things, was also involved in money laundering, assassinations as well as weapons and drug trafficking. I don't care at all about Mia, so I don't intend to waste much of my time going on about her role in the plot, but people should've already realized by just that much how infinitely dishonest is to try to put these two characters as "similar" ones, or argue that Ada is somehow worse.

Another detail that shouldn't escape anyone's attention too, are the origins and nationalities of both – and yes, I intend to briefly bring up racism against eastern-Asian looking characters (a silent plague that takes form by each passing day in all fiction fandoms) and anti-China xenophobia, but for now, hold this tea there just before I drop it: Mia is canonically American, and previously a Texas-state resident; meanwhile, we have no confirmation of Ada's nationality except for her pretty evident Chinese ancestry. But, as I said, hold it there for a while.

i) espionage — the job

red so silent

wait a minute

or just a little while.

what are you looking for? ⁕

At all times that Ada's "job" was brought up in this franchise, in ALL of her cameos, she has NEVER been called a mercenary in the original Japanese. She's always referred to as a SPY. Even in RE2R, the most recent title in which she's featured in, the original text of the game makes a point of labelling her as a SPY (and not a mercenary) in the dialogue that transpires between Annette and Leon.

It's the North-American translation and correspondent localization that now and then falls for the equivocal use of this other term. This distinction is important since espionage NECESSARILY implies operating in an organized service for, perhaps a country, or a political cause, or a class/group, or a corporation, or whatever. While a mercenary is someone who's acting per their self financial interests, indiscriminately selling their specialized "labour" and skills to anyone who'll offer more.

Ada's not a mercenary, she's a spy. But Mia, in addition to being hired to a canonically criminal company, was also the handler personally assigned to Eveline. I don't care how exactly Mia got in that predicament but the fact is: Mia was canonically employed by a company that profited over illicit activities and directly watched as a family was destroyed and toyed with by this new killing machine (Eve). Yet, we can't state for sure that we know to whom or to what Ada is truly affiliated with.

ii) sources — check them

who's a heretic now?

am I making sense?

how can you make it stick?

and I'm on a trial

waiting 'til the beat comes out. ⁕

This fandom should put a little more thought into which translation and localization of the game texts, dialogues and files they are using to support their arguments. I know that in some cases the United States people have a bit of an inclination to think of themselves as the owners of the planet and deem English as the only language that matters in this world, but let's not forget that RE is a Japanese franchise (wow, insane, right?!). Therefore, the most valid script, with the greatest amount of details, and highest credibility, is the Japanese original. Throughout these years, there have been several errors in translation and localization of the Japanese original to North-American English. And, believe me, curiously enough, plenty of those concern Ada, since she's often mentioned or referred to in a very vague way – without the use of pronouns or adjectives or adverbs that could help in indicating gender. This ended up causing those details and mentions to her to get overlooked, even though in the Japanese text it was a clear reference to her character (per observation of context).

iii) the good guys — one of

head in the dust

feet in the fire

labour on that midnight wire

listening for that angel choir

you got nowhere to run

careful son, you got dreamers plans

but it gets hard to stand. ⁕

Yes, as much as haters try to minimize it, it is SIGNIFICANT that Ada saved so many important characters and stood for unquestionably heroic actions in so many moments - like stopping everything she was doing so she could help completely random Chinese civilians with the helicopter she managed to pilot in that chaos in China (yeah, I know you haters love to forget about this, but it happened, it's there in canon, and no, it wasn't her direct OR indirect responsibility what was going on in China: REPLAY RE6 and for the love of GOD, never again argue that what she did was somehow "the equivalent of evacuating a city after selling a WMD to destroy that same city". It's a case of pure intellectual dishonesty to say such a thing. It's canon that Carla was the one who caused what happens in China, PLEASE, PLAY RE6).

Furthermore, Ada shows compassion on some occasions even for characters who are directly putting her in harms ways, like Annette (in RE2 OG, right after - in order to defend herself - she slaps Annette leading her to lose balance and collapse over the sewers fences, Ada makes an effort in trying to pull Annette back and prevent her from falling) and Carla.

Replay RE4 and pay attention to it, pay attention to her solo campaign: getting involved with Leon's journey in Spain hasn't brought any real benefit to her mission or herself: Ada deviates from her main path several times due to worrying about him and trying to help him and almost ends up dead in several of these occasions over her insistence in doing so: by saving him from Bitores Mendez, by helping him and Ashley against Sadler, by confronting Krauser and stopping him.

It's so lazy to only read/listen to a file in which she says in English that "Leon might be useful to her plans" (this is way more nuanced in the Japanese original of Ada's Report), and ignore everything that was SHOWN in the game: every effort she made to ensure that Leon could rescue Ashley, remove the parasite from his and her bodies, and escape from that hell-island.

The jet-ski she left for their escape was ALREADY there before she was captured by Sadler (or you think she arranged it while she was caught?). Leon having to intervene and save her from Sadler WASN'T her plan. It WASN'T her plan to take the sample from Leon's hands. She wanted to help him get out of there with Ashley and she guaranteed he could do so, she wanted to get the sample by herself and escape too while sending that hell to kingdom's come. But, because she chose to help Leon rescue Ashley right in front of Sadler, she ends up captured.

On her end, Mia never did anything minimally compared to that, and all of her "selflessness" or self-sacrificing actions involved a much, MUCH smaller scope than Ada's: wanting to help her husband and HERSELF is not at all comparable to saving a few dozens of unknown Chinese civilians. So no, they aren't "cut from the same cloth". They don't come from the same place, nor do they share the same intentions or goals, and their contributions to the RE storyline are quite different.

iv) unknown true purpose (shades of grey)

lining up in the background

waiting for the crowd shot to be seen

in the shadow of the big screen

everybody begs to be redeemed. ⁕

In databooks, Ada is recurrently described as "a Chinese spy with extraordinary physical abilities, vigorous health and composed mind and spirit, capable of coping with grim situations and handling even the most difficult requests without losing composure". If we are paying attention to the storytelling ingame, however, we know that this isn't always the case: Ada did let her mask of unswerving emotional and physical strength fall and showed a very fragile side under strenuous circumstances a couple of times already.

Also, in these databooks, they often point out that "she has her own 'true purpose' and has FREQUENTLY betrayed organizations and clients to achieve it". Huh, we can AGAIN, by this only, see how completely different she's from Mia, who personally watched an entire family being driven to insanity by Eveline's hand.

Furthermore, in these databooks, it's often said that "this true purpose is still obscure and whether she truly cared for anyone or simply used her charms to manipulate people that crossed paths with her isn't ever clear". If people are willing to be open-minded and exercise their text comprehension skills, though, they'll see that in multiple occasions of emotional confrontation it has been established time and time again that yes, Ada DOES care. She wasn't capable of shooting Leon and there has been a couple of other times that failing to choose a cool, sociopathic calculation and pragmatical demeanour over empathy and humanity towards others has put her in harms ways: nonetheless she still chose it.

v) positive impact

I'm gonna break the cycle

I'm gonna shake up the system

I'm gonna destroy my ego. ⁕

To this point, RE's plot systematically leads us to believe that Ada has been covertly acting behind the scenes of multiple biological incidents COLLECTING INFORMATION (the job of a spy, who would've thought! lmao), that is valuable to numerous organizations, companies, groups and different contexts, but at the same time of allegedly offering to handle this knowledge for the right price to the big players involved with bioterrorism and clandestine trading of bioweapons, she's also working to sabotage said players.

This is evident throughout the franchise: she intended to hurt Umbrella's business. She outwitted and deceived Wesker multiple times. She even undermined Simmons, someone who was in a position of power in the US government and actively using that position to lead bioterrorist ventures on the parallel side.

There's no concrete evidence or hint as to what she does with the information she collects, and for all purposes and effects, I can presume that she's gathering this knowledge to assist in the discovery of countermeasures and vaccination studies. I might as well argue that she is a Chinese spy who is working against European and North-American capitalism and the imperialism that creates such monsters like the biochemical and bioweapons industry and that her real objective is to dismantle the market for bioweapons and bioterror supported mainly by the USA (see: Simmons and The Family).

That is, as long as it is unclear what her true purpose is, I have the freedom to surmise whatever the heck I want and that all of what she's been doing was for the sake of the greater "good" - and I'll even have canon moments to support this reasoning as it's clear that she regularly sabotages her customers (customers that are unquestionably established as playing for the "evil" side, with perverse intentions) - throughout the franchise. She did this on RE2, RE4, RE6 and Damnation. It's there, transparent in canon, people just choose to ignore it.

She laughs in the face of whoever she's talking to by the end of Damnation, saying she doesn't intend to deliver the Plaga; she scoffs at Simmons; she betrays Wesker and kills Krauser. She had been sabotaging Wesker for so long, that he sent Krauser to be the main agent in the mission in Spain, and Ada was just a "side effect" that he didn't have in control and had to keep an eye on, so he ordered Krauser to keep tabs on her. It's not a mutually beneficial dynamic. Ada doesn't want Wesker to succeed, she despises him; this is clear in the games in which they interact. There are even files that indicate that she was trying to double-cross and get in the way of his plans for at least 2 years before Spain, and he was constantly catching up with her. See here and here.

On her end, Mia was employed by and consciously working for a criminal syndicate.

vi) a (secretly) helping hand

oh, I'm a master pretender

just felt more alone

the further I'd go

but I'll stick around

I'll be your master defender

yeah, I'll stick around. ⁕

Ada approached characters such as John Clemens and Luis Sera, and both had a canonical intention to, in addition to putting an end to their connections with the criminal companies and organizations they've been working for, also expose and denounce them for their crimes. It's in this context that Ada comes into contact with them. And why is that?

Check John's background: he had made up his mind about disclosing Umbrella's crimes to the public. Check Luis' background: Ada went to Spain to assist in his extradition since he feared for his own life if he resolved to turn his back on the cult of Los Illuminados, and also dreaded the consequences of the liberation of Las Plagas on an international scale.

Keep in mind that Ada handed over to Wesker a USELESS Plaga sample. Wesker only got the sample currently circulating in the underground market because he went after Krauser's body. We don't know what Ada did with the master Plaga sample she obtained. We only know from Ada's Report and the Plaga Recovery file that she didn't deliver it to Wesker, and he needed to go out for a plan B to get it.

Even the G-Virus sample that fell into the hands of the clandestine business, it's possible to argue that Ada's involvement in it was flimsy, since Simmons CANONICALLY made over a thousand laboratory tests in Sherry, and, as we know, he was a leading figure in bioterrorism and bioweapons trading with the aid of his position in the US government.

But, guess what, Ada clearly is a non-white character with obvious Chinese heritage and Mia is white, so of course, OF COURSE, someone can so nonchalantly affirm that Ada, this "vile bitch", is somehow WORSE than Mia. The same Mia who watched the Bakers being destroyed. Right.

Also: trying to validate one's point by claiming anything related to the misogyny present in RE franchise, while IN THE SAME BREATH AND TWEET reducing Ada's entire character arc to that of "a sociopathic bitch cured by the magic dick of her love interest" is supposed to be a joke, right? No, really. Joke.

conclusion and a word against misogyny

we are waiting on a telegram to

give us news of the fall

I am sorry to report

dear Paris is burning after all

we have taken to the streets

in open rejoice, revolting

we are dancing a black waltz

fair Paris is burning after all. ⁕

To any Ada fan that has been reading this so far: PLEASE, I ask to consider refraining to use the "oh yes, Ada did some bad shit, bUT" take to defend the character because that isn't sustained by canon in RE, lmao. She didn't do anything evil that had an indisputable bad impact on the plot and other characters arcs. For one, I myself do love some villains, but that isn't the case with Ada.

She did do some unconventional shit yes, since she's a morally GRAY character and an anti-heroine, but by the end of the day, each and every action of hers had a positive impact on the journey of other characters and main plot. Just pay attention to it.

Like idk man, Black Widow, Elektra Natchios, Scarlet Witch and Black Cat from Marvel, Catwoman from DC, Yennefer from The Witcher (some pop culture examples that come to mind).

Saying that this is an "extremely selfish prototypal bad bitch except when it comes to the magical redeeming dick of her love interest" it's a grotesque reduction of a complex female character, and, in its attempt to critique the misogyny present in RE's franchise an expression of misogyny in itself.

Remember: Ada has actions and impact on the franchise ASIDE and IN ADDITION to her romantic involvement with Leon.

[stellacaerulea]

Miraland After Dark

In this post, I will write a few canon-compliant headcanons the game cannot get into for rating reasons.

Given its nature, beware of potentially triggering and spoilery (no pictures) content.

Under the cut.

The Nations

Ninir

The nation's obsession with beauty makes it so that cases like Ashley's are ridiculously common. So while the canon says orphanages are overcrowded with abandoned "defective" children (Sweet Dreams Lullaby), it's not hard to infer that quite a number of people don't even get that far in life - Ashley's fire itself was canonically a case of attempted suicide (v2c3), so it stands to reason she was far from the first, let alone the last.

While as a mostly artistic nation Ninir probably has recreative drugs legalized, the indiscriminate use of controlled medicine like appetite inhibitors, strong antidepressants and anaesthetics is probably a widespread health issue.

Even though Ninir highly values beauty, Lolory's story states that even being the Starheaven Swan is not enough for a person to make an easy living (v1c6, Daisy's Diary). While she made it big as a model, a substantial number of people is likely to have to resort to prostitution...

... Which is probably very popular for both locals and tourists because of Ninir's adoration for beauty. Likewise, most workers in Miraland's equivalent of OF is probably from there.

Other people are probably not even that lucky - Ninir is likely to be a hub for human trafficking, both importing and exporting slaves from other nations for all sort of work. Most exportees are "ugly" people who would have trouble finding a job anywhere in Ninir and are lured in by a too-good-to-be-true work agency and sent elsewhere to do menial work, while most importees are beautiful young people - particularly girls - sent from other nations to fuel Ninir's entertainment underworld.

Ruin

The little we unfortunately know about Ruin's society states that there is some sort of caste system between artificial lifeforms and humans (Into the Ruins). While it's obvious, considering the machines have some sort of sentience, it's still unfortunate.

This same caste system has Caprico expelled once he replaces one of his legs with a prosthetic. While transhumanism irl is a source for immense debate, their society's reaction to it leads us to believe that Ruin is just a high-tech version of fundamentalist Pigeon.

The isolation of Ruin in an industrial archipelago the other side of the planet makes it hard to reach anything coming from the mainland, like food and people. This way, cultural exchange rests at an absolute minimum, with Ruin people being seen as weirdos by the mainland and people from the mainland seen as stupid savages by Ruin.

A common issue among real life developers and engineers is burnout due to stress. In a society that concentrates most of the electronics development in Miraland, most of the nation would be in dire need of therapy.

Said absurd levels of stress coupled with Ruin's natural dependency on robotics and electronics makes digital entertainment extremely popular, further isolating the individuals from each other...

... Which leads to a severe drop on natality rates within Ruin borders. Most people prefer to spend time on games or, in case more physical pleasures are required, purpose-made machinery, which, they believe, saves them the stress of maintaining a relationship.

As a result, most young people in Ruin Island are the rare immigrants or, more rarely, tourists looking for shiny neon lights.

Wasteland

For being one of the most sparsely populated regions in Miraland, Wasteland is probably heavily exploited for its natural resources, that are rare elsewhere in the world.

The more traditionally tribal ways of the several ethnicities in Wasteland are constantly seen by the other people in Miraland as primitive and barbaric, despite the probable modern levels of technology within its general society. As such, Wastelanders are a constant target of prejudice by the rest of Miraland even within Wasteland borders.

As an effect of it, the poorer regions of the nation - especially those in the desertic mountains bordering Apple Federation - have colossal criminal rates.

One of the more common crimes in such regions is drug trafficking - Wasteland's vast nature provides several different plant and funghi-based drugs popular both internally for ritual purposes and externally for recreative purposes, especially in Ninir, and the mountainous region makes it hard to track smugglers and their stashes.

Another extremely common crime would be forced sex work - as mentioned previously, Wastelanders are probably seen as barbaric people inferior to the "civilized" nations northeast of it, so Wasteland girls are seen as little more than an exotic delicacy by some people. And as such, there are quite a few people, both in and out of Wasteland, willing to make money out of it.

Pigeon

It's already known that Pigeon is a theocracy ruled by the light elves, that see themselves as the race closest to God. We also know they see themselves as higher than both humans and the other elven races (Elves' Elegy and too many other reflections to count). With that said, it's highly likely that crimes are judged differently between elves and humans in some sort of apartheid style.

Not a long time ago, Pigeon government - read: the clergy - was strictly against technology, going as far as to sabotage a power generator made by their own queen (Past and Beyond). While Pigeon capital seems to have modernised to modern standards ever since, there probably are very influent anti-tech parties in positions of power, actively preventing smaller cities from evolving and isolating them from the rest of Miraland.

Pigeon is probably one of the nations with the oldest population in Miraland, if not the oldest. Not because of the natality rate, which is probably high due to religious views on birth control, but because the heavy moral restrictions have most young people flee to the neighbouring Apple Federation as soon as they can.

A very recurrent issue within Pigeon are half-elves. Elves see human people as inferior and as such, little more than toys to have fun with. Coupled with the aforementioned lack of control measures, several unwanted pregnancies are expected, which cannot be legally interrupted. The resulting rare - but visibly growing - population of half- and quarter-elves are seem as undesirable by both humans and full-blooded elves and cast to low positions in Pigeon society (Song of Snow).

Cloud

While Cloud society as a whole is mostly pacific with more uniformly spiritual ways, things get a bit more chaotic in the individual level. For example, we already know for a fact that some people sell their children for workplaces (mm3). Given the more traditional way of Cloud culture, it's not much of a stretch to believe child labour is somewhat commonly used in factories and large workshops, besides theaters.

The pacific and orderly style of the Cloudian society strongly favours opioids instead of hallucinogens, which makes it one of the main black market exports from the nation.

The existence of mafia-like hubs both in Azureink (Midnight Impressions) and Cloud Capital (v2c4-5) makes us believe that organized crime is a common issue in Cloud, especially in the northern regions, where the proximity with the North Kingdom facilitates access to weaponry.

North

Speaking of North, from the get go we have the statement that child soldiers are far from unheard of (Mercenary Queen).

While North is even more sparsely populated than Wasteland, not only is the region a very literal icy wasteland, but the constant conflicts between the several warlords that control the territories that compose the nation makes it extremely difficult to invest on anything other than war industries - and even that is too much of a risk for most investors, which makes it so that most of the workforce (including children) is employed as farmers or soldiers.

The politically unstable nature of the region makes freedom of speech and information nearly a legend. Every warlord that comes to rule a certain region implants their own mis/information network to make sure rival warlords or the people don't pose a challenge to their rule.

Apple

As we already know, Rosset is a modern transportation hub built inside a dome and over a depleted mine, which houses the slums (v1c5), which reveals two facts. The first of it is the economic inequality in the city, that is harsh enough to drive people into living in an abandoned mine underground.

The second issue is the dome itself - it was made to prevent the pollution of the city industries to reach the rest of the planet, which leads us to believe that industrial activity in Apple is such a major source of environmental damage that physically isolating the pollution sounded like a good idea.

While larger cities like Lodden seem like developed places with low criminality, most worldwide criminal organizations are run from its several penthouses. From there, drugs are dealt, people are smuggled and wars are declared anywhere else in the continent.

Speaking of drugs, the several different people that compose Apple's society make a variety of drugs have common use, although synthetic stimulants are more used both to help cope with the common workplace stress and as "extra inspiration" for artblocked designers.

Meanwhile, several "model agencies" are little but fronts for human trafficking, both receiving and sending pretty people to sell their bodies elsewhere. Apple's main "commercial partner" in this business is, obviously, the neighbouring Ninir, but occasionally girls are brought in from Cloud and Wasteland to serve in Apple's brothels.

A decent amount of Apple's riches come not from the treasures left behind by Pigeon during the independence, but from wars financed in the North Kingdom, where warlords are financed to conquer natural resources, especially the mineral reserves that fuel Apple's advanced industry.

[hollenka99]

A Mislabeled Hourglass

Summary: Fundy grows up faster than Wilbur was expecting but he is going to make the most of his son’s shorter childhood regardless.

Warnings: Mentions of hunting animals, implied character death

Wilbur is no stranger to growing up faster than most. In the midst of learning survival skills as a child, he was still able to play to his heart's content. His mum, and later Phil, never cared too much if he got dirty. Kids will be kids. Despite that, his first experience with grief is at 6, he causes an animal's death sooner than most would and he dies himself for the first time at the age of only 9 (stupid accident, he should have watched his step). He is perhaps 8 when Phil gives him his first taste of independence. At 11, Tommy enters their life and makes him a big brother. Phil's day trips gradually get more frequent, sometimes stretching out for longer durations too. Whenever it's just him and Tommy, he has to be responsible, has to play a more adult role despite being in his early teens when it becomes a noticeable habit. Then Technoblade shows up. You could argue that from around 17 or 18, Wilbur is practically becomes a young carer on a full time basis. However, this accelerated maturation was all mental. The earth had gone around the sun once when he spoke his first word, five times when he began deciphering sequences of letters as words, ten times when Phil told him what to expect over the next several years and it had completed its 19th revolution shortly before Fundy came into the world. Fundy was... different. First of all, he was a shapeshifter so right off the bat, he was never going to look fully human. Sally had fins and naturally red hair. Fundy was born with a substantial amount of ginger hair and ears that seemed slightly more pointed than they should be. When his son gets older, it will become apparent that his senses are stronger than Wilbur's too. Speaking of Fundy getting older... Wilbur has a hunch that something isn't quite right when his baby rapidly outgrows clothes meant for his age group. He initially dismisses it as Fundy likely inheriting his ridiculously tall genes. Because what else could it be, right? Then he is crawling at 2 months old. Wilbur's far from a baby expert but he's sure infants don't become that mobile that soon. A month or so later, Fundy takes his first clumsy steps towards him. Now that? Yeah, that undoubtedly raises alarm bells. He knows for a fact that that milestone was for those around 12 months old. Okay yep, something was definitely up. The books say Fundy should have been introduced to solid foods by now. He guesses that puts him in the Bad Dad category, along with temporarily using cows to feed him when he first got Fundy. He'd defend himself by pointing out he didn't have formula on hand the moment he became a father and was yet to learn non-human milk wasn't actually good for the baby but those excuses don't seem credible. He knows he's been going about this blinder than he would liked since day 1 but the accelerated aging might end up screwing him over even more. Ha, imagine having time to settle into parenting a baby before they graduate into toddlerhood. It's fine, he swears it's fine. It just means he gets to start having comprehensible, reciprocated conversations sooner than most, not to mention going through less nappies. There are stumbles for the first week or two after Fundy learns to walk but his son soon gets the hang of it. Only days after his first steps comes his first word. Noisy pattering paired with cries of "Daddy!" get more common. He could certainly get used to this. A one year old's way of running is potentially one of the silliest things he's ever witnessed. But look at his little champion go! When Fundy learns to crouch, Wilbur is crouching right beside him. Tommy comments that he looks and sounds like an idiot whenever he plays with Fundy. Wilbur pays him no heed because his brother is an absolute hypocrite. He has to say, Tommy is doing a great job for someone who was thrown in at the deep end just as much as he was and his brother doesn't even have the responsibility of having to care for a kid. He's always been a bit... rough and ready when it comes to playing with others. But with Fundy, he makes sure to be gentle around the toddler. Wilbur isn't entirely sure whether hanging upside down from someone's grip on a near daily basis is healthy for a little kid but Fundy's eruption of giggles each time suggest otherwise. When Tommy turned 11, he was not yet an uncle. The following April, he has a two year old nephew who complains he wants to help blow out the candles, nearly fighting for his right to do it instead of the actual birthday boy. It somehow leads to a pillow fight between them. So all in all, Tommy is taking it in his stride. By Fundy's second Christmas, Wilbur is able to start calculating. A 14 month old kid is supposed to be getting the hang of being bipedal, not receiving books that will help them learn how to read. Given that his son was walking at 3 months old, his best guess is that Fundy's development rate was four times that of other children. It seems consistent too since Fundy is approximately the equivalent of a 4 or 5 year old boy now. He recalls Sally once joking about how shapeshifters tended to live fast and die 'young'. He thinks he gets what she means now. Quadruple speed for Fundy though? Fuck. If he's got the maths right, they will be the same physical age when Wilbur is 25. The gap will only grow more and more from then on. At 30, he will have a child who is roughly 40. And when Wilbur himself is 40... he'd rather not dwell on the heartache his early 40s are set to bring. He has been given a 60 second hourglass that's been labelled as a 4 minute one. He's begun to comprehend this with 2 seconds' worth of sand already piling at the bottom. What is he even supposed to do? Does he bake a birthday cake every January, April, July and October 10th or just that last date? He guesses that will be for Fundy to decide in the future. Tommy has made a 'reverse leap day kid' joke before but it really is based in truth. While still a small child, one of Fundy's favourite places to rest is against his father's chest. There have been plenty of nights where the little boy has fallen asleep in his father's arms while being read a story. He's rapidly getting bigger and Wilbur frequently has to adapt how he holds him to accommodate. In the quietest of moments, his eyes will notice a tiny mischievous smile directed at him that will make his day or his ears will catch the softest of snores coming from beside him. As much as he tries to enjoy those occasions, peace often leads to a chance for overthinking to take place. When that happens, it all turns bittersweet with the desperate wish he could get several years of this, not feel lucky if he gets more than 2 or 3 of them. Of course, every time Fundy is resting against his chest is not necessarily positive. There are obviously the typical 'toddler having a breakdown because they scraped their knee' type stuff. Those are fine, all he has to do is soothe him and distract from what is usually an overthought 'injury'. But then there are the times where Fundy's fingers ache from the ordeal of slowly developing claws, Wilbur lets him dig his nails into his jumpers as hard as he feels the need to. The same happens whenever there is any significant growth with his ears too. The older Fundy gets, the more used to the flat of a small head pressing into his chest he becomes. He would do anything to alleviate his pain and discomfort if he could. And no, he definitely hasn't shed a tear or two when nobody is watching in regards to the matter. From here on in, it feels like he's on home soil. He's helped raise a kid from the age of 4 before. The only difference now is that this kid is his own flesh and blood. And a shapeshifter, which Tommy never was. They've begun entering the "Dad, look what I can do!" phase of Fundy's life, now that he is getting more capable with age. The first major instance is when he comes home from a hunt. Tommy has a smug look on his face and Fundy seems seconds from exploding with excitement. His son is let loose on him as soon as he's freshened up, dragging him to a chair where he is made to listen to the most drawn out reading session he has ever experienced. But Wilbur can't help but beam every time Fundy successfully gets through a word. The day he believes Fundy is old enough to start learn how to use a bow can't come soon enough. He knows fuck all about hybrids or shapeshifters other than the very basics. He can't tell you how to construct the most impressive of architectural structures. But this, archery and hunting? Now that he can impart wisdom on. He passes down second hand stories about Fundy's grandma and anecdotes about his trips with Phil when he was a young boy himself. As far as he can tell, Fundy laps it all up. Swordplay is soon added to the mix of training activities. The wooden sword he crafted for his son is slightly too big but eh, the kid will quickly grow into (then inevitably out of) it sooner than later. They gradually work up from technique and stance to improving accuracy and striking moving targets. Every bit of progress he makes, his dad is there cheering him on. Fundy only grows reluctant when it begins to get 'real'. That is to say, when Wilbur tries to take him on an actual hunt or attempts to introduce him to the subject of turning a kill into a meal. And yeah, he gets it. He wasn't the biggest fan of it either when he was being taught himself. Plus, he's aware Fundy's nose is more sensitive than his or Tommy's so yep, preparing a body's going to be even less pleasant for him. It's unfortunately a part of this sort of life. There's... well, there's always the option of heading down to the butcher's in town. Just keep in mind who got his first girlfriend indirectly due to the fact her dad would always give him money for helping supply produce. You've been doing great though. The important part is you're learning how to survive on your own if need be, not to mention how to defend yourself in case of an attack. Another part of Fundy's development to make him gush with pride is when he starts to really hone his shapeshifter nature. It's small at first, a furrier hand transforming into a paw here, a lump of a half formed tail spotted underneath a dressing gown there. He can't really describe how happy it makes him to see a child with a fox's head greet him one morning when Fundy jumps out from behind a door. There are features the young shapeshifter will keep in his human form obviously. Yet it's thrilling to have him keep coming over to show off a new shifting-related ability. The first time Fundy manages to morph fully into a fox, during the spring after his 2nd birthday, Wilbur promises the three of them can have an 'anything Fundy says, goes' type thing the following day in celebration. There are times where Fundy may, for instance, forget to include his tail as an animal or he'll walk around as his usual self, albeit with accidental fox eyes. It's simply a matter of practise, Wilbur believes. One of the best parts of Fundy gradually improving his shapeshifting is the fact he loves to curl up on his dad's lap while in fox form. Wilbur cherishes it. Fundy's getting older now (taller too, this kid is undoubtedly going to be at least 6 foot one day) but he'll always be smaller as a fox than as a human. Forgive a father with limited time to enjoy carrying his son around for wanting to prolong the inevitable. Fundy is 3 when he physically catches up with Tommy, age wise. It's not until he is the equivalent of maybe 15 that he passes his uncle's height. Tommy complains about it incessantly, especially whenever Fundy teases him about how much taller he's getting. It's all fun and games but Wilbur was an unusually large teenager once (only a few years ago really, though let's not dwell on that) so he understands what it's like. Going through growth spurts is hardly the most enjoyable thing out there and he can't imagine how it must feel to keep getting hit by them with even less time to settle into your new height. Not to mention growing pains. During a quiet evening, he checks in on his son and approaches the subject. It leads to him allowing Fundy to rant about the worst parts of growing up. Orange fur recedes on his arms to show a few stretch marks. Ah, he was wondering if the extra hair was deliberate or simply puberty taking hold. He assures Fundy stretch marks aren't something to be ashamed of. He got a bunch of them himself at his age. Although, they've pretty much all faded by now. It's fine, you don't need to stress about it. Besides, Tommy's going through the same kind of shit. The main problem with Fundy and Tommy being similar ages now is that they are arguably closer than ever. Which, no, isn't a bad thing. In fact, he's glad that for a few months they're able to hang out on more equal footing. The issue lies in the fact that Fundy takes after his uncle when it comes to causing mischief. The little rascal is turning into a bit of a prankster. And yeah, maybe Wilbur himself likes channelling hints of chaos into his life but you'll never hear the designated responsible adult admit to that in the others' presence. At one point, Fundy is a six year old gleefully explaining how Tommy helped him up so he could place that water bucket. Only a year later, there's an 11 year old revealing that yes, he was the one to make their chickens, cows and sheep switch enclosures during the night. He only gets more ambitious from there. God knows where he got all that dye from when he's in his mid-teens. Fundy is much like himself as a teenager. Both clearly love their respective fathers but both grow to varying degrees of resentment regarding the level of independence they are given. Wilbur always had too much. It was his job to take care of Tommy whenever Phil left on short trips until the avian hybrid pretty much said 'well, you're an adult now, you can take care of things all by yourself' before heading off with Technoblade for months on end. It's why Wilbur knows kids want a safety net, for an adult to be there to help them out if they need it (no matter how mature or independent they feel). Has he taken it further than he should have? Maybe. Fundy is the only one who can be the true judge of that. He just wants his little boy to be safe and happy. He didn't want him to grow up so quickly. However, even if this was happening in 15 years, he would have grown up too soon. It doesn't surprise him too much when Tommy and Fundy make the choice to go off on their own. He only allows it because they promise they will stick together throughout the journey. He supposes it was time. Phil snuck off to do the same around their age and his mum was roughly 18 when she set off to be a nomadic traveller. The thought to live a similar style life has crossed Wilbur's mind. His duty to the two boys under his care has always made him reconsider. But Tommy is 16 now and not as much of a child as Wilbur likes to say he is. As for Fundy, he's probably around the equivalent of 18 or 19 by this point. He hates to admit it but they've both grown up. Where the hell did the time go? So although it pains him to do so, he nevertheless sends them off with a smile. If they find anywhere nice in their adventures, they'll be sure to tell him. He might even join them if they choose to stick around in one area. He turns back into the house after they leave and fuck, has it always been this empty? He gets a letter in early July, telling him all about this place called the Dream SMP and their time there. He arrives and things seem to snowball as soon as he begins the 'drug business' bullshit. Suddenly, he's a general with his brother and son as soldiers, along with some new friends. They are at a disadvantage in this fight against tyranny but it's okay, Eret says she has a secret weapon. They might just pull through. Or... they might instead be brutally betrayed by a former friend and lose so much more than their possessions. He loses track of his battalion in the chaos. All he knows is screaming for everyone to flee. Then the agony a sword through his stomach. Tubbo's dead, as is Tommy. Where's Fundy? He can't see him anywhere. God, please say he managed to get the fuck out of here. Please let it be that he turned into a fox and scarpered away, something like that. Never mind his dad. If Fundy's alright, he'll be alright too. He loves his son, has done all he was able to ensure his little boy has never had reason to doubt this fact. Over the past few years, that love has been repaid in mischievous grins, unrestrained giggles and drowsy cuddles, among other quieter moments. It gets repaid once again as a boy playing a soldier struggles to join the side of his pretend general of a father in order to loosely grasp hands. It barely registers. Neither does the tiny pained smile or ginger hair that go largely missed by eyes preoccupied with the vain effort to keep them open. They all celebrate the independence they'd fought so hard for the next night. The bittersweet nature of this victory goes ignored. With all the cheerful chatter and singing declaring their land to be one of freedom from tyranny drifting in the evening air from the campfire, it feels like the good mood will never end. It feels like the only thing that may tear the father and son apart is Wilbur's desperation for just a bit more time with Fundy as his little boy, despite how painfully obvious he was already grown up into a man in less than 5 years. Arm slung around him as a toast is made, they are not yet a debilitatingly stressed president, increasingly suicidal exilee or secretly loyal spy. For tonight, they are still a relatively happy, loving pair. For tonight, there is hypothetically still so much time for them to stay like that.

[longitudinalwaveme]

Longitudinalwaveme Reviews Old Comics, Part 7

Today, I will be reviewing Flash #307.

The Flash #307 (1982): “Prey for the Piper”, was written by Carey Bates, drawn by the legendary Carmine Infantino, and inked by Bob Smith. 

The story stars the Barry Allen Flash as the protagonist and, as the title suggests, the Pied Piper as the main antagonist. This story is also historically important for the Piper-it’s the first issue to give him an origin story. That’s right. Despite having debuted in Flash #106 in 1959, the Piper wasn’t given a backstory (or a real name!) for 22 years! 

The story opens with two guys in a helicopter flying a giant gong across the city. Evidently, it’s going to be a new display at the Centrex Museum and...why in the world did they decide to transport the thing by helicopter? Couldn’t they have used a truck? That seems safer. 

Regardless, the Pied Piper, who is in a nearby skyscraper, uses his pipe to hypnotize the pilots and get them to fly the gong into a building that’s under construction. Barry Allen, who is nearby buying what I believe is a newspaper but could also be a magazine or, knowing Barry, a comic book, notices the collision that’s about to happen and springs into action as the Flash. 

The pilots release the giant gong and it cashes into the building, making a horrible noise but surprisingly not causing any structural damage. Barry stops the gong’s descent and goes to ask the helicopter pilots what’s happening. We then cut to Piper (who, as usual for this time period, looks like a demented elf), who notes that he only needs one more really loud sound to put “Operation Sound-Off” (I’m sure that sounded awesome in his head) into action and defeat the Flash. 

Meanwhile, Barry is puzzling over why the helicopter pilots suddenly dropped the gong into the building, as when questioned about what happened, they had no idea. He knows that someone must have hypnotized them, but isn’t sure who or why. Meanwhile, in the police department’s record room, a young officer named Morty, who has been giving a reporter information about some as yet unrevealed story, walks the reporter (who works for Picture News just like Iris did) to her car...only for him to be whacked over the head and her to be kidnapped! We also see that the files she was interested in involve the Pied Piper, who is operating under the alleged name of Henry Darrow.

Barry comes outside just as Morty comes to, and the younger man tells him about what happened. Barry thinks that someone kidnapped her because of the story she was working on, and, because it was about the Pied Piper, Barry assumes that it was the Piper who had her kidnapped. In speaking of the demented elf, he’s in a state park fifty miles outside Central City, known as Summit Canyon, creating an avalanche in order to gather the final decibels needed to enact his evil plan. He notes that, once it’s complete, he’ll “finally be able to rid myself of the two curses which have plagued my life with the most pain and misery: my arch-enemy the Flash-and my despicable family!” 

Meanwhile, in his apartment, Barry is trying to work out the details of the kidnapping (which he still thinks the Piper is responsible for), noting that the man’s past has always been a mystery. We then cut to “the posh Ridgeway Hills community easy of the city”, where one of the kidnappers wonder why someone so rich hired them. The other one basically tells him “who cares, we’re getting paid a ton of money and now we can go to Vegas!” 

Inside a mansion, the people who paid the kidnappers note that the reporter is waking up, addressing each other as “Osgood” (snicker) and “Rachel”. The reporter tells them that they won’t get away with this, to which they basically respond that they totally will, because they’ve got tons of money to bribe her with. We then see that she’s tied up at one end of a ridiculously long table. The reporter, whose name is Marcy Dunphy, exclaims that she’s seen the people who had her kidnapped in the society pages. The man then introduces himself and his wife as “Hazel and Osgood Rathaway”, which, as this is only two panels after the use of the “Rachel” name, may hold the record for the least amount of time passing before Cary Bates forgot a character’s name. The reporter identifies them as the heads of the Rathaway Publishing Empire and is completely bewildered as to why such wealthy people would have her kidnapped. Their response? She’s uncovered a very embarrassing family secret, and they want it to stay hidden. Which does raise the question of why they decided to have her kidnap before trying to bribe her. Wouldn’t she be more amenable to the idea if you hadn’t had her kidnapped? 

While the Flash races to stop the Pied Piper from robbing a museum, the Rathaways for some reason decide to tell Macy the whole story. Their son, Hartley Rathaway, was born deaf, so they spent a ton of money to ‘cure’ his deafness, and because this is comic books, they actually found a doctor who could do it. Hartley subsequently became obsessed with music. Mr. and Mrs. Rathaway had big plans for their son, but, as time went by, it became clear that Hartley wasn’t interested in excelling in anything or in “upholding the prestige of the Rathaway name”. Instead of addressing the problem (or, alternatively, not attempting to force their son to become famous), Osgood decided to start bribing the heck out of people. He bought Hartley’s way into the best colleges and then bribed them into giving him good grades he hadn’t earned. After Hartley graduated, Osgood paid his way into an executive position at a major firm and...seriously, just how rich are these people? 

Meanwhile, the Flash manages to get through the sonic barrier that the Piper set up around the museum, only to be attacked by the Piper and his “Sonic  Boomatron” which is in the shape of bagpipes because of reasons. The stupidly-named device hits Flash with the equivalent of 50,000 decibels, before we cut back to the Rathaways’ explanation of how awesome bribery is. They apparently gave Hartley a silver-plated flute for his sixteenth birthday (in case it wasn’t clear that they’re made of money yet, I guess), and they tell Macy that their son had always liked tinkering with musical instruments. Somehow, they completely missed that their son was a super genius who created hypnotic and weaponized music until he actually put on the costume and became the Pied Piper. HOW DID THEY NOT NOTICE THAT? It clearly started when he was still a teenager, as he used it to hypnotize his tutor into getting out of a test. 

Now with the power to hypnotize people, his life was even easier than it had been before, and Hartley was bored out of his mind. So bored, apparently, that he decided that white-collar crime was overrated and decided to go into the “robbing banks in costume” type of crime. I also find it amusing at how shocked the Rathaways were that Hartley became a criminal. What, do nonstop bribery and literal kidnapping not count? Because they were bribing people left, right, and center LONG before he became the Piper. 

Meanwhile, Piper’s weapon somehow turns the Flash into sound, because this is comics and comics don’t have to make sense. He proceeds to walk off with his loot, surrounded by a sonic barrier that protects him from police gunfire. 

So yes, the Pied Piper is Hartley Rathaway, his family is rich, and he became the Piper because, at least according to his parents, he was an “emotionally disturbed” child who got bored. Apparently the elder Rathaways have kept the secret through EVEN MORE BRIBERY, giving money to everyone from the local police chief to the FBI to keep things quiet. The FBI were the ones who created the identity of Henry Darrow. By the way, Mrs. Rathaway is back to being Rachel again. Rachel reiterates the fact that kidnapping and then bribing the reporter to also keep things quiet was the only logical solution to the problem...at which point the Piper himself shows up! 

Meanwhile, Barry uses his mental control over all his molecules to reassemble himself while the Piper tells his parents that he’s paid his debt to them. Apparently, he turns over most of his loot to his parents in order to pay “back every Rathaway dollar my parents spent on trying to mold me into something I could never be.” The elder Rathaways had to keep all of it because doing anything else would reveal the secret. Osgood tells his son that he and his wife only wanted what was best for Hartley, to which Hartley replies “Not quite, Pop. You wanted what was best for the Rathaway name! What I wanted never really matter much to either one of you.” According to Hartley, then, it seems that he became the Piper not so much because he was bored...but rather because he feels that his parents were more concerned with their reputations than with loving him. 

Then the Flash pops up, punches him out, and rescues Macy, who says that they should give the Rathaways a few minutes alone with their son. I guess that we can assume that the Rathaways never got arrested because they’re made of money. Or something. (Could that be why we also rarely saw the Piper in prison during the Silver and Bronze Age?) 

Well, it may have taken Piper 22 years to get an origin (and a name), but in this case, I think it was worth it. With the possible exception of the Golden Glider, the Pied Piper has what is by far the most interesting Silver/Bronze Age origin of any of the Rogues, and I’m glad it’s stuck around. Props to Carey Bates for giving the Piper an incredibly memorable origin story. 

[carriagelamp]

November 2020: A Months of Familiarity

This November ended up being a month of me either rereading old favourites, exploring new books by favourite authors, or a mix of both.

…Be prepared for so much Terry Prachett, I found his audiobooks on Libby last month and since that I’ve been unstoppable.

The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents

The first of my Terry Practhett books to mention! I chose to include this one on my list because it’s a beautiful stand alone novel, perfect to read if you’ve never touched on of Pratchett’s works before, and is often overlooked.

The book is about Maurice, an “amazing” cat by his own admission, who has teamed up with a stupid boy and his very own plague of rats. The moneymaking scheme is simple: set the rats loose on a town and after causing a panic let the boy stroll in and offer to play his pipe and lead them away… for a fee. This is working well, until Maurice, the boy, and the rats arrive in the town Bad Blintz. Here the rats are beginning to question the morality of their work, the boy gets entangled with a young, mischievous local girl, and they’re all shocked to find out that the town already has a real rat infestation… or so the rat catchers claim. Things quickly turn sinister and deadly as the group is forced to confront not only the cruelty of humanity, but something even more sinister living in the small, dark, hidden place of the town.

This is a YA book, unlike some of Pratchett’s other novels, so it’s a quick, fun read, while still having all of his dry wit and heavy, complicated thoughts about society, morality, belief, and what it means to be a person. It’s a genuine delight to see Maurice and the rats, recently made sentient by wizards’ rubbish, struggle to come to terms with who they were and who they are now.

Black Pearl Ponies: Red Star & Wildflower

Y’all it ain’t a secret at this point that I enjoy a stupid horse girl book, right? I picked up the first two books of the Black Pearl Ponies books from the library on a whim and they were basically what they promised. Girl lives with family on ranch, father helps train horses, girl goes on pony adventures with ponies. A particular focus is given to horse welfare and care. Very mediocre but a nice thoughtless covid read if you, like me, get a craving for animals books written for seven year olds from time to time. Plus this comes with the added humour of it being written, as far as I can tell, by a British author who thinks all Americans are stetson wearing cowboys which I find unreasonably funny.

Crenshaw

I love Katherine Applegate’s work; I read the Endling series earlier this year and they are overwhelmingly good. Crenshaw was also an enjoyable read, though not my favourite by her. It read a little bit like a book I read last fall, No Fixed Address, which was also a very good read though not my usual genre. Crenshaw is about a boy, Jackson, whose family, though close-knit and loving, is experiencing financial difficulties and struggle with food scarcity, homelessness, and all the instability and stress that results from this. During this tumultuous time, Jackson is surprised by the reappearance of a tall, bipedal, snarky cat — Crenshaw, his old imaginary friend. This is a charming book that blends genuine, real world hardships with whimsy and magical realism.

The Enemy Above: A Novel of WWII

Since it was Rememberance Day this month, I decided to pick up a holocaust novel. This book is about 12-year-old Anton, a young Jewish boy who finds himself fleeing from his Polish farm in the middle of the night with his old grandma when a German raiding party that attacks their village in an effort to make the countryside “judenfrei”. The book is, perhaps, not the most well-fleshed out, but it’s fast-paced and exciting for a child/YA audience that’s being introduced to holocaust literature, without trying to downplay the absolutely horror and brutality of the Nazis. It manages to strike a satisfying balance between fear, tragedy, and hope.

“Everything he had heard was true. He was just a twelve-year-old boy and yet they hunted him. He had broken no laws, done nothing wrong. He was simply born Jewish. How could anyone want to kill him for it?”

Gregor the Overlander

Somehow I never knew that Suzanne Collins wrote anything other than The Hunger Games? I stumbled across this series at a used bookstore and was first taken by the cover and then shocked when I realized I recognized the author’s name. Well The Hunger Games was such a good read, how could I not pick up a book with people riding on a giant fucking bat?

Such a good choice. I’m almost done book two and bought book three today after work. It is exactly the sort of low fantasy that I live for, when a fantasy world lives so close to the real world that you can practically touch it. I also love the fact that while all the wild fantastical elements are happening, you still have the main character taking care of his toddler sister the whole time. It’s at times charming, hilarious, and nerve-wracking!

It’s about Gregor, a normal kid who’s doing his best to help his mom take care of his two younger siblings ever since his father disappeared years ago. Gregor expected months of boredom when he agrees to stay home over the summer instead of going to camp like his sister in order to watch his baby sister, Boots, and their grandma while his mom is at work. He never could have expected that a simple trip to the apartment’s laundry room would lead to both him and Boots tumbling miles beneath the earth into the pitch black Underland, a place filled with giant rats and bugs and people with translucent skin who fly through the massive caverns on huge bats. He also could have never expected that he would get wrapped up in a deadly prophecy that would force him to travel into distant, dark lands into the waiting claws of an overwhelming enemy.

Kings, Queens, and In-Between

A Canadian queer novel that I’ve seen trumpeted everywhere. Libraries, classrooms, bookstore, this book got so much hype (and has such a pleasing cover) that I had to get my hands on it. Now, I’ve got to admit that it’s not really my genre; I don’t love realistic fiction. But that being said, it’s a fun, heart-warming, queer romp through that explores gender, sexuality, love, family, friendship… there’s a lot of lovable, quirky, complicated characters that get thrown together in unexpected ways at a local summer carnival. While there’s tension and misunderstandings and mistakes, this is overall a very optimistic and loving novel, and would be a great read if you want a queer novel that reads like cotton candy.

Love, The Tiger

This book is the graphic novel equivalent of a nature documentary. There’s no text, but you follow a day in the life of a tiger as it moves through the jungle on the quest for food. The art is honestly beyond outstanding, and though it’s a really quick read it is so very worth it. I’ve also read Love, The Lion in this series (also good, though a bit more confusing imho) as well as one of the books from his other series Little Tails which is still very nature and education based, though for a slightly younger audience.

Making Money

More Pratchett! Making Money was the first Discworld book I ever read, and it’s one of my most reread ones — it’s an ultimate comfort read! This is technically the sequel to Going Postal (another book I reread this month), in which conman Moist Von Lipwig is saved from a rightful death at the noose in exchange for agreeing to work for the city. Going Postal sees Moist narrowly dodging death in many varied forms as he tries to get the Anhk-Morpork postal service back on its feet and get the drifts of dead, whispering letters moving again. In Making Money things at the post office have become… too easy. Moist is bored, restless, until he finds himself thrust into a new job: head of the Royal Mint. There he has been given not only charge of the biggest bank in Anhk-Morpork, but also a dog with a price on its head, a lethal family with all the money in the world out for his blood, and the fear that his secret past life may be on the verge of being exposed to everyone, all while he’s desperately trying to make money…

The Moist series is honestly an example of Pratchett at his absolute best imo, and the amount of humour, wit, adventure, and scathing commentary he can build around a bank is outstanding. Cannot recommend enough.

The One And Only Ivan

Another book I’ve been hearing everyone talk about, as well as another Katherine Applegate book. It’s been on my radar for a while, but with the sequel and a movie coming out, it had everything at a fever pitch and I finally picked it up. Fantastic read, I definitely enjoyed it more than Crenshaw. This book was based off the true story of Ivan, a gorilla taken from his home in the jungle and sold to the owner of a mall, where he spent years of his life growing from child to adult silverback in a small, concrete enclosure. In this fictionalized version, everything changes for Ivan and his friends, when a new baby elephant is bought to help revitalize the mall attractions and Ivan makes a promise he doesn’t know how to keep: to protect this baby, and keep her from living the life Ivan and his friends were forced to. This book made me very emotional. Applegate’s picture book that goes along with it is also a great companion read.

Ranma ½

I realized that our library had the 2-in-1 editions of Ranma ½ and honestly that was it for me. This has been a favourite series of mine since I was in middle school and realized that the creator of Inuyasha had written other things. It is unapologetically ridiculous and larger-than-life and you have to love the shameless joy it has at being ludicrous. It does start to feel a little repetitive the further into the series you go, but at the moment, with covid, I find I have a huge tolerance for rereading slightly repetitive things so long as they make me happy. And boy howdy does the vaguely queer undertones, endless pining, and relentless slapstick of Ranma ½  make me happy. This is classic manga y’all and if you’ve never read it you should!

The basic premise, for anyone that doesn’t is that of an bonkers martial arts comedy. It follows Ranma and his father who, while training in China, fell into cursed springs. Each spring has the tragic legend of a person or animal who drowned in it, and if someone falls in they inevitably turn into that creature any time they’re doused in cold water. Ranma had the misfortune of falling into “The Spring of Drowned Girl” and, indeed, turns into a girl anytime he’s hit with cold water. Things continue to spiral out of control when Ranma meets his arranged fiancée, Akane, who is as exasperated by this situation as Ranma. Both would rather be fighting people than worrying about things like romance. And don’t worry, there is lots and lots and lots and lots of some of the goofiest martial arts fights that you can imagine for a bunch of high schoolers.

Through the Woods

A beautiful and creepy Canadian graphic novel. I honestly really don’t even know how to describe it in a way that does it justice. It’s a collection of short horror stories, with beautiful, flowing art style that draws you in and sends chills down your spine. I’ll let the art doing the talk, and honestly beg you to go find a way to read this graphic novel:

The Witch’s Vacuum Cleaner: And Other Stories

The last Terry Pratchett book on my list (though shout out to the others I’ve listened to this month: Wee Free Men, Hat Full of Sky, Men At Arms, and Snuff) and one that I actually physically, rather than listening to the audiobook. I included this one because unlike the others, this was a Pratchett book I had never read before. It collects a number of Pratchett’s short stories that had been written for children over a number of years. These weren’t necessarily my favourite examples of Pratchett’s writing (I prefer his longer work that can really dive into social issues) but it was such a quick, easy, fun read that you can’t really help but be charmed by it. I liked the stories that took place in “the wild wild west (of Wales)” in particular.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

MICROSOFT IS THIS SUMMER

Anything that gets you those 10,000 users is ipso facto good. We had a page in our site trying to talk merchants out of doing real time authorizations. If you want to beat those eminent enough to delegate, one way to do really big things seems to be a large tumor. One reason so many good ideas come from them, even if few do per capita. In the US it's a national scandal how easily children of rich parents game college admissions. Or it could be because it's clearer in the sciences whether theories are true or false, and this is responsible for a lot of people correctly or not as a credential in its own right. It's this end that gives rise to phrases like those who can't do, teach. A quarter of their life. If you want to figure out what we're getting wrong is to look at what used to be limited to those who could get them published.

But in fact there will be a lot of the most powerful people in the future will find ridiculous. That's made harder by the fact that the best startup ideas seem at first like bad ideas. But I don't think I'm imagining it. The reason the expected value is so high is web services. Then all you have to declare variables before using them, for example. Once someone is good at it than something very interesting with someone who's good at it, but whether it brings any advantage at all. But by Galileo's time the church was in the throes of the Counter-Reformation and was much more worried about unorthodox ideas. Their previous business experience consisted of making blue boxes to hack into the phone system, a business with the rare distinction of being both illegal and unprofitable.

But more importantly, audiences are still learning how to be stolen—they're still just beginning to realize how much deeper bloggers can dig than journalists, how much more interesting a democratic news site can be than a front page controlled by editors, and how much funnier a bunch of consequences. Perhaps, if design and research seems to be vanishingly rare in the arts, but I think this time I'll wait till I'm sure they work before writing about them. In a world of small companies, performance is all anyone cares about. If you're designing a chair, that's what you're designing for, and there's something very pleasing about small things. But in the US at least they don't have a big enough sample size to care what's true on average, tend to be the mistaken one. This book had better command respect, and the best research solves problems that are not only new, but it felt like it at the time they happen, using the state of your brain at that time. However many Google does, Microsoft should do ten times as many. Everyone values safety too much, both the obscure and the eminent. The eminent, on the other hand, are weighed down by their eminence.

But in retrospect you're probably better off studying something moderately interesting with someone who's good at it than something very interesting with someone who isn't. If a self-consciously cool people who want to distinguish themselves from the common herd. Real startups prefer to work in this field at all. It's merely the adjective form of I don't like the idea of going on the medical equivalent of what lawyers call a fishing expedition, where you raise a million dollars each to move, a lot of graduate programs. If I'd spent a whole morning sitting on a sofa watching TV, I'd have noticed very quickly. Hollywood got the most traffic. We now think of it before? The statements that make people mad are the ones they worry might be true. Marble, for example. I should do. Well, that is all too obvious.

This is a problem for founders, because it enabled one to attack the phenomenon as a whole without being accused of any of the specific heresies it sought to suppress. If they don't need you, it tends to push the others to do better. Perhaps, if design and research converge, the best research is also good design, and in some ways a worse kind of hard. Research doesn't have to be a good angel investor is simply to be a better way to block the transmission of power between generations: to encourage the trend toward an economy made of more, smaller units. Like the amount you invest, this can vary a lot. Why look under rocks as a kid growing up in Saskatchewan he'd been amazed at the dedication Jobs and Wozniak must have had to work in fields with corrupt tests. The alternative approach might be called the Hail Mary strategy. But so do people who inherit money, and the people would be dispersed. But he didn't qualify it at all. We'll have to.

[thehivemindwrites]

A  Series of Disconnected Thoughts, Cast into the Void in No Particular Order

1. I’ve been finding myself thinking more and more about Kill Six Billion Demons recently. Not just because it’s absolutely gorgeous artwork and Moebius-meets-prog-metal stylings are extremely my shit (KSBD is responsible for adding Gojira to my rotation of workout music, and that alone has me in its debt), but because I can really appreciate a main character who is a walking disaster coming to some kind of enlightenment through a combination of getting her ass handed to her repeatedly, making questionable decisions, and basically just deciding to struggle forwards because I don’t know, what the fuck else is there to do? It’s hardly original (see: basically any shounen about The Power of Friendship and Not Giving Up) but damn if the presentation of it in this particular case isn’t particularly delightful. Plus it gave us the image of a giant hulking demon wearing a jacket that says KILL BOSS and that’s rad.The creator of KSBD is also co-creator, as it happens, of the newly released Lancer TTRPG, which I backed on Kickstarter and will, one day, get a rad fucking hardcover copy of (but for now I’m reading through the pdf and swearing oaths that one day I will play it). Anyway, as someone who also got where he is through a series of questionable decisions and getting his ass handed to him by life in general (oh, and an enormous amount of luck), I can relate. Plus the phrase “Reach heaven through violence,” while kind of terrible on the surface, feels good to shout at yourself while you’re off for a run. 

2. Part of this whole exercise thing - a side-effect of it, if you wanna call it that - is that generally I feel better about myself like in general. I’ve mentioned that before. What it doesn’t do, of course, is magically mean that I’m now 100% good and not still dogged by a persistent sense of self-loathing that I’ve just had to accept will never really go away. Like for example: I’ve lost 35 kg since starting this whole gym thing, except you might remember the goal was 40. I still haven’t hit that goal, and frankly I’ve spent the last like three months bouncing around the same like, 3 kg zone because I’ve been traveling a lot and that basically fucks up my workout and eating routine. It’s frustrating, and it sure does let the part of me that knows deep down that I’m a fat fucker and always will be no matter what I do run wild from time to time. Which is, I’m coming to understand, just gonna always be there. This stuff doesn’t go away! Ever! 

Which doesn’t mean it’s right, even a little. You tune it out and throw yourself into battle with it over and over again. You get bloodied and broken and claw back and then you get bloodied and broken some more. Insert that gif from Princess Bride of Westly saying LIFE IS PAIN, HIGHNESS here. Thing is, there’s something about the struggle that’s nice. I am not sure how motivated I’d be to do anything if part of it wasn’t motivated by the desire to prove my dumb brain wrong about, uh, me. If I wasn’t fighting the various little demons that plague me every so often, I doubt I’d be so well-adjusted. I certainly wouldn’t be mentally healthy. None of this makes sense as I read it back, of course - it sounds like I’m saying “boy it’s nice to be miserable,” which isn’t true. Being miserable sucks shit! I don’t recommend it! But it is nice to see misery coming and punch it in the face (metaphorically speaking). Sometimes I think the thing that makes me go to the gym and work so hard (this sounds like I’m bragging, but I can assure you I’m not - “work so hard” means “not collapse and fall off the elliptical after five minutes because oh god I don’t want to be here”) is out of some desire for self-annihilation through pushing myself past my physical limits. Reach heaven through violence (see, I told you it sounded cool).

3. The world has gotten really fucking bad for a lot of people, and I don’t know that it will get better for them any time soon. In fact, given the latest talk from the ol’ UN Climate Change report, it’s gonna get even worse. I would very much prefer that were not the case! It’s motivation enough to get out and vote and shit, at least for me - and as someone who is, you know, ridiculously privileged, that’s the absolute least I can do. Which is why I try to do more, mostly involving donating money to causes that seem like they’re able to cause the sort of trouble that needs to be caused. Or just use expertise to protect the people I don’t know how to protect, because I’m a lot of things, and one of them happens to be smart enough to know that I don’t know shit. So I make sure people that do know shit have the money they need. Pretty straightforward, I think. 

The other thing I try to do, because giving money isn’t really something I think about much at all (I’m stupidly fucking fortunate to have a job that pays well, remember), is occasionally go out and actually be present at protests and the like - there are a lot of climate protests and they’re all a good time. Occasionally it’s worth overcoming one’s intense social anxiety to do so. Lord knows it’s significantly less of a risk for me to be out shouting at cops than most. 

4. She-Ra might be one of the best shows out there. There’s something nice about a show that both does and does not present a simple world. Yes, the Horde is bad. Like, objectively bad! They do a lot of looting and subjugating and are generally just deeply not chill people.On the other hand, the people who make up the Horde are still people, and I have a lot of time for a show that can manage to humanize its Big Bad Villain whilst still making it very clear they are  still, you know, not good. It’s messy, and complicated, and sad, because sometimes you have to fight people you used to be friends with! Sometimes you have to make the call that hey, we can’t be friends anymore, because I can’t support the things you’re doing anymore. I’ve made that call before - I bet everyone has, at some point (if you haven’t, I’m sure you’ll have to eventually). Fortunately for me, it’s never been that difficult of a choice, if only because the people I had to go against weren’t people I’d known for very long. 

Anyway, that’s part of it - you gotta just cut people out sometimes. There’s more to it though, because the other thing the show believes is that everyone - even the real shitty people - can change. It doesn’t mean everything’s forgiven, and it doesn’t erase all the bad shit, but they can still change. It’s worth changing, even if it isn’t a cure-all. 

So yeah, I like She-Ra a lot. It’s also just well-written, and funny, and it’s a real good time to see a bunch of diverse characters running around having adventures and being fuckin’ rad. Plus, they’ve shown an incredible willingness to completely change the stakes from season to season - the end of season four in particular is  the equivalent of detonating all the things you thought were important. It pulls a bait and switch so ruthless that I might have applauded if I wasn’t so self-conscious about making noise that my neighbors might hear. The combination of season 3 and 4 was a masterclass on raising the stakes and then explaining that actually, you were playing for stakes even higher than you could’ve thought possible. Oh, and the people you thought you could trust were just using you, and hey, what if we got rid of the thing that you’ve more or less defined yourself by for the entire show? Good luck in season five, motherfucker! I’m a fan, is what I’m saying.

6. Work on Vanquisher 2103 continues apace. I mentioned this before, but we’re doing a once-a-month schedule while the holidays and work beat my ass into the ground, and as it turns out I really enjoy taking a full month to write a chapter. It’s a comically slow pace, but it’s working for me and hopefully the fact that the chapters have tended to be a little longer (and allowed me to expand on ideas a little more, and do a little more research here and there) makes it worth the longer wait. I’d like this thing to be good! There’s a part of my brain, again, that will always insist that nobody reads this and it’s bad and I’m fucking up, constantly - that point, at least, is probably accurate. I am writing characters who in theory have life experiences that are very much Not Mine, which involves a lot of reading things from people who would know better than I do. It’s nerve-wracking, and the only thing I am bone-deep certain of is that I’ll fuck up and hopefully y’all will forgive me for fucking up when that happens. I’ll keep reading and refining and eventually maybe it’ll be okay. Hopefully, anyway.

7. I went to Ireland and guys, Ireland is bullshit. I am offended by its gorgeous cliff-sides and open grasslands and heart-rending beauty. The immense friendliness of the people I met and the fact that you can’t sit in a pub without hearing some dude play a jaunty reel on a tin whistle or accordion or something is a personal insult. I was Arthur Dent angrily demanding to know why this bloody fish is so good the whole time.

I cultivated an immense drinking habit while there. I was also approached by a random German tourist who somehow clocked that I could speak German and we shouted about socialism for an hour auf Deutsch. I met some woman from Louisiana and we ended up having drinks a couple nights in a row to talk about traveling in general and Germany in particular, because her ex-husband is German. There were some Swedish retirees who were both very pleased by their country’s social safety net and also depressingly sour about the fact that refugees got cheap dental care - we might have had some harsh words exchanged before more drinks helped smooth over our frank discussion of differing viewpoints. I had to explain American health care to some people from the UK who were surprisingly gung-ho about the idea of privatized medicine until they talked to me (one of them talked about how the UK used to be an Empire and could be again in such a way that made me want to throw things. We did not talk for very long because I couldn’t fuckin’ handle it). These were strangers that I willingly engaged, because I was having an adventure, and I guarantee none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been going to the gym and committed to the idea of proving the voice in my head that tells me I’m an awkward mess that nobody would ever want to talk to in their life wrong (also, let’s be honest, if I hadn’t had several pints of cider at the time). 

By the end of the trip if I heard one more pub singer’s version of Whisky in the Jar though, that I was gonna produce my pistol and fucking shoot myself in the head.

Go to Ireland if you can. If you live there, fuck you how dare you live somewhere that rad.

8. I didn’t have an eighth thing but I’m committed to this “each thing is numbered” bit which means that even the end of this thing has to follow the trope. This is the end of the post where I say “okay bye I’ll be back the next time I get the urge to throw a bunch of highly unpolished ideas out.” 

[bountyofbeads]

https://www.businessinsider.com/fbi-agents-reaction-trump-conspiracy-theory-jeffrey-epstein-death-2019-8

NEW: FBI personnel are furious Trump peddled a baseless conspiracy about Jeffrey Epstein's death. "The last thing investigators need is the president of the United States fanning the flames with these bulls--- theories that have no basis in reality."

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF PEDDLES CONSPIRACY THEORIES? Trump has peddled conspiracy theories his entire adult life from the "Central Park 5" to the "Birther" Conspiracy to "Qnon" to "Seth Rich" conspiracy theory.

Donald Trump DOES NOT live in reality, he lives in his "guided cage" surrounded by people who feed his belief in conspiracy theories. Donald Trump has told

President Trump has made 12,019 false or misleading claims over 928 days

By Glenn Kessler, Salvador Rizzo  and Meg Kelly  | Published August 12, 2019 at 3:00 AM EDT | Washington Post | Posted August 13, 2019 11:37 AM ET |

President Trump’s proclivity for spouting exaggerated numbers, unwarranted boasts and outright falsehoods has continued at a remarkable pace. As of Aug. 5, his 928th day in office, he had made 12,019 false or misleading claims, according to the Fact Checker’s database that analyzes, categorizes and tracks every suspect statement the president has uttered.

Trump crossed the 10,000 mark on April 26, and he has been averaging about 20 fishy claims a day since then. From the start of his presidency, he has averaged about 13 such claims a day.

About one-fifth of these claims are about immigration, his signature issue — a percentage that has grown since the government shut down over funding for his promised wall along the U.S.-Mexico border. In fact, his most repeated claim — 190 times — is that his border wall is being built. Congress balked at funding the concrete barrier he envisioned, so he has tried to pitch bollard fencing and repairs of existing barriers as “a wall.”

False or misleading claims about trade, the economy and the investigation of Russian interference in the 2016 presidential campaign each account for about 10 percent of the total. Claims on those subjects are also among his most repeated.

Trump has falsely claimed 186 times that the U.S. economy today is the best in history. He began making this claim in June 2018, and it quickly became one of his favorites. The president can certainly brag about the state of the economy, but he runs into trouble when he repeatedly makes a play for the history books. By just about any important measure, the economy today is not doing as well as it did under Presidents Dwight D. Eisenhower, Lyndon B. Johnson or Bill Clinton — or Ulysses S. Grant. Moreover, the economy is beginning to hit the head winds caused by the president’s trade wars.

On 166 occasions, he has claimed the United States has “lost” money on trade deficits. This reflects a basic misunderstanding of economics. Countries do not “lose” money on trade deficits. A trade deficit simply means that people in one country are buying more goods from another country than people in the second country are buying from the first country. Trade deficits are also affected by macroeconomic factors, such as currencies, economic growth, and savings and investment rates.

Trump has falsely said 162 times that he passed the biggest tax cut in history. Even before his tax cut was crafted, he promised that it would be the biggest in U.S. history — bigger than Ronald Reagan’s in 1981. Reagan’s tax cut amounted to 2.9 percent of the gross domestic product, and none of the proposals under consideration came close to that level. Yet Trump persisted in this fiction even when the tax cut was eventually crafted to be the equivalent of 0.9 percent of GDP, making it the eighth-largest tax cut in 100 years. This continues to be an all-purpose applause line at the president’s rallies.

The president’s constant Twitter barrage also adds to his totals. More than 18 percent of the false and misleading statements stemmed from his itchy Twitter finger.

Trump’s penchant for repeating false claims is demonstrated by the fact that the Fact Checker database has recorded more than 300 instances in which he has repeated a variation of the same claim at least three times. He also now has earned 23 “Bottomless Pinocchios,” claims that have earned Three or Four Pinocchios and that have been repeated at least 20 times.

Even as Trump’s fact-free statements proliferate, there is evidence that his approach is failing.

Fewer than 3 in 10 Americans believe many of his most-common false statements, according to a Washington Post Fact Checker poll published in December. Only among a pool of strong Trump approvers — about 1 in 6 adults in the survey — did large majorities accept several, although not all, of his falsehoods as true.

The award-winning database website, created by graphics reporter Leslie Shapiro, has an extremely fast search engine that will quickly locate suspect statements the president has made. We encourage readers to explore it in detail. For this update, we have added a new feature that provides a URL for every claim that is fact-checked, allowing readers to post the link on social media.

FBI agents are livid that Trump is amplifying 'bulls--- theories' about Jeffrey Epstein's death 'that have no basis in reality'

By Sonam Sheth | Published August 13, 2019 9:25 AM ET | Business Insider | Posted August 13, 2019 11:24 AM ET

FBI agents are horrified thatPresident Donald Trump promoted a baseless conspiracy theory on Twitter suggesting the Clinton family was involved in the death of the disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein.

The Justice Department announced that Epstein died by "apparent suicide" and there is no evidence that the conspiracy theory Trump retweeted has any merit.

"The Epstein case was hypercharged from the get-go," one current FBI agent, who requested anonymity to freely discuss Trump's actions, told INSIDER.

"The last thing investigators need is the president of the United States fanning the flames with these bulls--- theories that have no basis in reality."

Another agent told INSIDER that Trump's actions make the FBI's job harder as it combats homegrown extremism, particularly after its latest finding that conspiracy theories pose a new domestic-terrorism threat.

"It's not hyperbole to say that when the president makes up these stories — or promotes stories made up by others — he's putting innocent lives at risk," said one former senior Justice Department official.

FBI personnel are furious thatPresident Donald Trump retweeted to his 63 million Twitter followers a baseless conspiracy theory suggesting that former President Bill Clinton was involved in the death of the disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein.

Angel Ureña, Clinton's spokesperson, responded to the tweet, posted by the right-wing comedian Terrence Williams, on Twitter, writing: "Ridiculous, and of course not true — and Donald Trump knows it. Has he triggered the 25th Amendment yet?"

The Federal Bureau of Prisons announced that Epstein, who faced multiple charges of sex trafficking involving underage girls, died by "apparent suicide." He was placed on suicide watch last month after prison guards discovered him lying semiconscious in his cell with marks on his neck, suggesting that he had tried to kill himself.

But Epstein was taken off suicide watch six days later, and, at the time of his death, he was alone in his cell and was not monitored by guards who were supposed to check in on him every half hour.

There is no evidence that the conspiracy theory Trump retweeted has any merit. And FBI agents who spoke with INSIDER said the president's actions aren't just irresponsible but also dangerous.

White House counselor Kellyanne Conway said on Fox News Sunday that Trump "just wants everything to be investigated." Attorney General William Barr announced on Saturday that the Justice Department inspector general and the FBI are investigating the circumstances surrounding Epstein's death.

But the president's actions make investigators' job harder, not easier.

"The Epstein case was hypercharged from the get-go," one current FBI agent, who requested anonymity to freely discuss Trump's actions, told INSIDER. "The last thing investigators need is the president of the United States fanning the flames with these bulls--- theories that have no basis in reality."

Frank Montoya, Jr., a recently retired FBI special agent, characterized Trump's actions as "crazy talk coming from no less than the President of the United States."

"This would be a bad TV melodrama if it weren't real," he added. "The world is watching. Trump may be successfully fooling a third of America with his sociopathic antics, but everyone else ... sees how naked the Emperor is, and they are exploiting the advantage."

CNN reported that after Trump retweeted the conspiracy, which was accompanied by a video, the clip had received more than 3 million views on Twitter as of Sunday morning. That's more than triple Williams' other recent videos.

Another FBI agent told INSIDER that Trump's actions make the FBI's job harder as it combats homegrown extremism, particularly after its latest finding that conspiracy theories pose a new domestic-terrorism threat.

"The FBI assesses anti-government, identity-based, and fringe political conspiracy theories very likely motivate some domestic extremists, wholly or in part, to commit criminal and sometimes violent activity," the FBI said in May. "The FBI further assesses in some cases these conspiracy theories very likely encourage the targeting of specific people, places, and organizations, thereby increasing the likelihood of violence against these targets."

The Clinton family has long been a bête noire for Republicans, but the level of vitriol that Trump and his supporters leveled against them during the 2016 election and after was unparalleled. Hillary Clinton was dogmatic in her criticism of Trump, but intelligence officials say Trump's willingness to traffic in outright misinformation and paranoid conspiracies presents a unique threat.

Trump's rallies made headlines for the infamous "Lock her up!" chants that dominated the events, and the president's retweet about Epstein's death bore a striking resemblance to when he elevated a similar conspiracy theory about the suicide of the former Clinton aide Vince Foster.

Also during the election, the alt right and many Trump supporters seized on an unfounded conspiracy theory suggesting that the Clinton campaign's emails, which had been published online by WikiLeaks, contained coded messages connecting Clinton and other high-ranking Democrats to a child sex-trafficking ring operating out of a Washington, DC, pizza parlor.

A man from North Carolina, motivated by the "Pizzagate" conspiracy theory, traveled to the DC restaurant to investigate and fired a rifle inside the establishment.

"It's not hyperbole to say that when the president makes up these stories — or promotes stories made up by others — he's putting innocent lives at risk," said one former senior Justice Department official.

Indeed, in its intelligence bulletin highlighting the threat posed by conspiracy theories, the FBI laid out several events over the last few years in which "perpetrators intended to kill groups identified by such theories as hostile and malevolent," or to carry out "dangerous, unlawful acts in an effort to draw attention to or expose a perceived conspiracy." These included:

When a California man was arrested in December after intending to blow up a satanic temple monument in the Illinois capital building to make Americans "aware of 'Pizzagate' and the New World Order (NWO), who were dismantling society."

The October 2018 mass shooting at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, which resulted in 11 deaths and several injuries. The alleged shooter, Robert Bowers, had a history of violent and anti-Semitic beliefs. Shortly before the attack, Bowers posted on social media that the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society "likes to bring invaders in that kill our people. I can't sit by and watch my people get slaughtered. Screw your optics, I'm going in."

When a Nevada man used an armored truck to block traffic on the Hoover Dam Bypass Bridge in June 2018. He was arrested after fleeing to Arizona and authorities found body armor, ammo, rifles, and a flash-bang device inside his vehicle. Citing a technical source with direct access, the FBI said the man directly referenced the QAnon conspiracy theory after his arrest. The media reported that he sent letters to Trump from jail that featured a QAnon slogan.

When two men were arrested in October 2016 on drug charges and found to be planning an attack on the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP), a government-funded research facility. The men apparently believed the US government was using HAARP to control the weather and prevent people from talking to God.

When Paul Anthony Ciancia shot and killed a Transportation Security Administration officer and wounded several others at Los Angeles International Airport in November 2013. Before the attack, Ciancia wrote a letter expressing his desire to kill TSA personnel, whom he believed were associated with the New World Order conspiracy theory.

[sweatersexual]

The Treehouse Club

The last person Roy Mustang expected to head a network of informants was Henry Elric. Though on second thought, it shouldn't have been surprising at all.

Roy wasn't sure where they had come from. Every subordinate he'd questioned claimed that they hadn't slipped those plans into his paperwork, but somehow, they had ended up on his desk. In his prioritized basket, too. Which meant that whoever left the plans had access to classified military files. Quite concerning.

The mysterious plans contained a fearsome looking transmutation circle. Key symbols were rubbed out, of course, but Roy could tell what it was meant to do. It would transmute any metal within twenty feet of it into pure mercury. The myriad applications of this circle could cause such mayhem. Twenty foot pools of liquid mercury were a major hazard, especially if they showed up in a populated area without warning. And sure enough, the plans included a picture of that very transmutation circle next to a set of train tracks. If it were activated while a train crossed by it, whatever parts of the train, cargo, and passengers that weren't consumed by the mercury would surely be be destroyed. Included in the plans was a note telling him where he needed to be at what time in order to know exactly where this attack would happen and how to apprehend who was behind it. The amount of money he was asked to bring was ridiculous, but worth such valuable information, if it were true.

It turned out to be a big if, but as far as Roy could find out, the claim was credible. The photo hadn't been doctored and the transmutation was possible. None of his sources could confirm any other information, though. Roy's only choice was to make the meeting.

A burly man and woman met him in front of the public library as promised, and he went with them to a second location only because he knew Captain Hawkeye was tailing all three of them. The man waited with him outside a phone booth while the woman dialed a number. Trusting that it had been cleared of bugs beforehand, Roy took the receiver when it was offered him.

He was not expecting the voice on the other end. "Hey, Uncle Roy!"

Roy's jaw dropped. "Henry Elric, is that you?"

He laughed. "Your face must look hilarious right now. Dad would probably kill to see it."

Fullmetal's kid was involved with these spies? Who was the head of this network and how were they using the boy?

"Listen," Henry continued, "I wasn't intending on giving you this information myself. But my operative in charge of this case would've been compromised if they'd stayed in the city much longer and we didn't have time for anything else."

His operative? Henry was running this organization? "How -"

"You can ask me about my setup later. What you need is to know who's planning this attack and where to find them."

Henry was right. Though Roy was burning to know how Fullmetal's eldest had put together an operation that had found out things his agents (or for that matter, his mother's) had heard nothing about, there wasn't time for that. Besides, Roy knew where the kid lived.

The would be culprit behind the attack turned out to be a rogue alchemist with no ties to any known anti-establishment organization. It was for that reason that guys like him usually slipped through an intelligence network's cracks until they'd already worked their mayhem. Henry must have been keeping tabs on powerful alchemists in order to get the scoop on this. Roy wondered what kind of information Henry had on him. Another thing to ask the kid on his next trip to Risembool.

The information turned out to be well worth the exorbitant amount Henry had charged. Not only did he have the name and address of this alchemist, but he also had a handle on how he reacted when things got dicey, and weaknesses in his alchemy. When it came to apprehending the guy, all Roy had to do was fill in the blanks.

It was only when the alchemist was safely in custody, with all the forms filled out and Roy's name up for promotion again, that Roy and Captain Hawkeye made the trip to Risembool. They weren't without a sense of deja vu. Henry was only eleven, the same age Edward had been when Roy had recruited him. Though this time, there was no clerical error leading them to believe this kid was an adult.

As they stepped off the train, a kid peeled off from the group who were knocking tin cans off a fence with rocks. The things small town kids did to pass the time. As Henry walked up to them, Roy wondered if he had started the game so he'd have an excuse to wait for them by the train station.

"Uncle Roy, Aunt Riza," he said with a grin. "Long time no see."

"Sorry it's been awhile," said the captain.

"Yes," said Roy. "We've been busy, apprehending rogue alchemists and all."

"So I heard, so I heard."

"Yes, you do have very big ears, don't you? We weren't expecting that. I don't think you got them from your parents." From what Roy had been able to dig up, Fullmetal wasn't involved in his son's operation.

Henry shook his head. "Everyone in Risembool has big ears. It's a small town." Meaning that the boy didn't want to talk here. "Lemme show you my fort!"

He led them to a treehouse not far from his home. It was well made, for a treehouse. The roof and walls looked watertight and it would've taken Roy awhile to find the knot in the tree trunk that released the rope ladder. But this wasn't too surprising. Henry's mother was an engineer, after all. The inside wasn't much more impressive. The sunlight streaming in from the fort's only window illuminated a couple beanbag chairs, along with a few books, toys, and flashlights. A good playhouse for an eleven-year-old.

But Roy suspected this treehouse was Henry's base of operation. The walls were thick, thick enough for secret compartments. The fact that Henry had hit a knot on the tree in order to release the ladder meant that there were wires running through the trunk. Roy would have bet good money the kid had a telephone hooked up to his tree house.

"You guys are lucky," said Henry. "I almost never let grown ups in here. I only use them when I have to."

Roy raised an eyebrow. "So most of your operatives are children?"

"Anyone ever tell you that children should be seen and not heard? It applies to spies, too. People aren't suspicious of children. They talk around us like we're not there. They say stuff in front of kids that they'd never say around other grown ups. Being a kid is a great information gathering move."

"How much do your parents know about this?" asked the captain.

"They know I've been up to something. But they've probably figured it all out by now. They're not stupid."

Roy had to agree. "Not stupid" was the least that could be said of Fullmetal and his wife.

"And they're okay with it?" the captain asked.

"They keep a close eye on me. They made me promise to ask them for help if I'm getting in over my head. It's good to have some reserve forces I can call in if I need to."

Roy couldn't help but smirk at the idea of a kid referring to his parents as "reserve forces." And Roy had to admit he had thought of Edward that way too from time to time. "So why espionage?" he asked Henry. "What made you decide to put your talents to use this way?"

"My dad tells weird bedtime stories. I don't think he's told you this. He tells us about the little alchemist and his armor brother and their adventures fighting monsters."

Roy had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. "The little alchemist?"

Henry grinned. "Fits right in with the little engine that could, doesn't it? The little mermaid, the little prince. Little red riding hood," he added with a chuckle. "None of the characters in my dad's stories have names. Except for the monsters, of course. He talks about the Xingese prince, or the scar faced Ishvalan - though I guess he didn't have a name to begin with. The man in the white suit. The colonel" - he looked right in Roy's eyes as he said this - "and his lieutenant."

He looked at the captain for just a moment before continuing. "Those stories, they're not supposed to be about real people. They're wacko fairy tales. Except my dad was a little alchemist who had an armored brother and served under a colonel who could shoot flames out of his fingertips. I started figuring this out when I was seven. And my dad wouldn't confirm or deny how real those stories were, because if they were real, then they'd be top secret, wouldn't they? So I did my own research, to fill in the blanks. And there were a ton of messed up things he left out. Like the time he got impaled. And the philosopher stone-powered zombies that ate people. Nina Tucker." He said that last name more quietly.

"Anyway, you don't figure all this out without doing a little spying, without making a few contacts. So I decided to take what I had and grow it. I like knowing things. It's fun to know them before anyone else does, too. Not to mention it makes good money. My operatives need that. Most of them are street kids who don't have anybody. So I teach them how to find things out. How to fight. How to use codes. How to survive. And I pay them like they're grown ups with good jobs. Now they can take care of themselves and they don't have to worry where their next meal is coming from. Plus it's exciting, being a spy."

"You don't worry about putting them in danger?" asked Roy.

"Sure I do," said Henry. "That's why I have them work in pairs. And I hire grown ups when I have to. No matter what, it's safer than a lot of stuff that happens to street kids."

Roy supposed Henry was right. Besides, Roy had little room to talk when it came to putting children in danger.

"And I can count on you guys, too, right? To step in if things go wrong? You guys know more about this than any grown up in the world. And you know I don't tell secrets for free."

Roy smirked. "Equivalent exchange, huh?"

Before Roy would agree, the captain asked, "Why don't you tell us what information you have on the general, here?"

Henry laughed right out loud. "What, you think I'd blackmail you, Uncle Roy, Aunt Riza? Dad would ground me if he knew!"

Roy had his doubts. "Oh he would, wouldn't he?"

"Of course he would. He'd think it's embarrassing. Besides, all the best dirt on you is stuff anyone with half a brain could figure out. Useless as flame alchemy on a rainy day. I keep an eye on powerful alchemists so I can keep them from doing something heinous. All your heinous acts are in the past, so what can I do about that? Besides, Aunt Riza, isn't it your job to keep him from doing those things?"

The captain nodded. "That it is."

"So you can trust me. And I can trust you, right?" He held out his hand.

The captain took it. "Yes. You can consider us on call for any emergencies."

"Awesome. Let's go to my actual house. Your grown up bodies are probably all cramped from being in here. And we're having stew for dinner!"

Roy didn't say anything to Edward, but he was sure he would be proud of the work his kid was doing. Knowing someone out there was doing something to keep alchemists in line would sure help Roy, at least, sleep better at night. And while Roy wasn't exactly starving for more information sources, an asset was an asset. Henry and his treehouse club had proven useful just now and would probably prove useful in the future.

One thing was for sure, he wasn't going to look at a pair of street kids the same way ever again.