#for A Very Normal Cat with a Very Normal Name

[thegeminisage]

lucanis's pet snake

lucanis mentions in veilguard that he has a pet snake, but he doesn't give the snake a name. however, i know in my heart that the snake's name is illario. please come on a journey with me to consider a scenario:

lucanis wants a pet but crows don't do that sort of thing but he can have a pet if it's a snake because that's not a pet that's a little venom machine :) it's even kind of like a tiny wyvern if you squint right :) 

and caterina is like ok you can have a snake 👍 but don't like love it or get attached to it or anything. absolutely do Not give it a name do not embarrass this house

and lucanis is like ok yes i can do this and of course decides he Must name the snake. he will die on the spot if the snake is not named, by him

but it can't be like a Real Name because what if he says it loud and then gets caught Loving The Snake (i am picturing lucanis in his teens which is fine some snakes can live up like 30-60 years)

so he names the snake illario because if he accidentally refers to the snake by its name he can just pretend he's talking about human illario

(the unforseen outcome of this is that he is now in danger of calling his cousin human illario, which is a really normal thing to call your cousin around people who don't know what you named your snake)

snake illario (snillario if you will) is not like human illario. snake illario doesn't complain about lucanis's dossiers. snake illario is happy to do his part as a crow (making venom for lucanis's poisons). snake illario doesn't care that lucanis never says no to caterina. snake illario would never make fun of lucanis for being a virgin. human illario may have done this a time or two. or ten. or twenty.

it is so crucial to me that human illario Hates This Snake. he's like, why would you own a pet snake. what kind of freaky shit is happening in that snake enclosure oh EW andraste's holy cabbage cousin is that a fucking MOUSE (wigmaker job illario is infamously fussy and squeamish). the very first time he sees that snake unhinge his jaw he is done with snakes forever for the rest of eternity. get a cat or something, freak. the snake is not the reason illario decides to kill lucanis but it doesn't have nothing to do with it either

meanwhile, lucanis is so happy because snake illario doesn't fight with him about who is going to be first talon or whether or not he should quit being a crow. snake illario is just happy to be here. snake illario accepts displays of affection (the display of affection involves dead mice). it's kind of like getting to cook for human illario without all the complicated emotions. snillario is the best thing that's ever happened to him

anyway and then illario pays to have his cousin killed and while lucanis is presumed dead and in the ossuary, out of cousinly guilt human illario tries to feed snake illario like one (1) time and then immediately decides he has enough money to pay to have this done but there is not enough money in the world to get him to touch a dead mouse

and even after lucanis gets back from the ossuary illario never finds out what the snake's name is.

here is an artistic depiction of snillario by my good friend @maulthots

thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[identifying-cat-phenotypes]

Hi! I’m very curious about my “blonde” kitty. His name is Pumpkin! The grey tabby is Tempo c:

pumpkin looks like a cream tabby with low white! he’s very cute, essentially a dilute version of a normal red cat!

Tempo looks like a blue tabby with low white!

[kittenfangirl20]

The next morning Adam woke up in a very nice apartment. On the night stand she found the mask of Tuxedo Mask. He realized what that meant, he was going to find out who Tuxedo Mask was. Just then the door opened and Lucifer stepped through. He had removed the the cape, jacket, and top hat.

Adam: You’re Tuxedo Mask? I think a part of me always knew which was why I was attracted to both.

Lucifer had a tray of breakfast that he placed on the bed.

Lucifer: It was the same with you and Sailor Moon. You even remind me of the Princess I dreamed of.

Adam smiled and moved closer to Lucifer. Lucifer held him making him feel safe. Their lips met in a kiss. Adam always knew he was attracted to both men and women so him kissing Lucifer wasn’t odd for him. In fact it felt so right.

Adam: Does this make us boyfriends?

Lucifer: If you want to be. I can assure you that I do want this.

Adam: Good because you are who I want.

They kissed again until he got texts from his friends wondering where he was and worried for him.

Lucifer: You should go to your friends to reassure them you are safe. You can also tell them who I am.

Adam nodded as Lucifer handed him a rose. He went to the place they all agreed to meet. Luna jumped onto Adam’s shoulders.

Luna: We have all the Sailor Scouts, the Princess should come soon.

Eve arrived holding a male white cat named Artemis and the young woman who was Sailor Jupiter. She was named Vaggie and had befriended Eve when she found out that she was a Sailor Scout.

Lute: So where were you?

Adam: I was with Lucifer, he was Tuxedo Mask.

Emily: So both guys you had a crush on were the same person that is very romantic.

Adam couldn’t help but blush at this.

Eve: The Sailor Scouts were created by the Queen of the Moon Serafina or Sera to help protect her daughter and help her fight evil thousands of years ago. A dark witch named Lilith attacked the moon because she was jealous of the princess who had the love of someone she coveted. Her love tried to help the princess, but was killed by the witch and in her grief the princess unleashed the power of the Silver Crystal on the moon. This made it so we could all be reborn now.

Emily: The Princess of the Moon is that powerful?

Eve: Yes and with us all together expect Lilith to attack soon. I believe it will be next week on the full moon as a way to mock the princess.

During the week everything was at peace. Lucifer and Adam started to date much to Adam’s joy. Rosie was very happy that Adam found a kind, intelligent, and handsome boyfriend. On the night of the full moon Lilith attacked the city killing everyone that came across her. Adam and the other Sailor Scouts arrived along with Lucifer as Tuxedo Mask. Now Emily had a portable computer that she could attach to her ear where she could contact Abel who could provide information to them through a holographic screen. Luna and Artemis saying it was technology from the old moon kingdom. Lilith glared at Adam.

Lilith: A man as a Sailor Scout, what a joke.

She sent an attack at Adam, but Lucifer jumped between them and took the brunt of the attack.

Adam: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Adam broke down sobbing as raw power was unleashed from him. His Sailor uniform turned into a white and gold down. The tiara turned into a crescent moon mark and on of his tears turned into a brilliant silver crystal.

Eve: Adam is the Princess reborn.

The power of the Silver Crystal brought the people Lilith killed back to life.

Lucifer: You are my princess from my dreams.

Everything came back to Adam. In a last life Adam was Princess Adaline of the Moon Kingdom. She fell in love with a Prince of Earth named Lucifer. Lilith who was jealous of their love because she coveted the moon. Lucifer was killed and in her grief Adaline caused them to be reborn so she could be with her love. She must have become a man to hide. Lilith used her magic to pull Lucifer to her since he was still injured. Adam sobbed as they left. He went back to normal and his friends took him home. They stayed with him for the night to comfort him. In the morning Adam awoke to see his hair had grown down to his knees and even though he still had his dick there was red between his legs.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

(Sailor Moon AU)

Adam ran through the hallways of a palace like every dream he had recently. He looked outside at the surface of the moon outside. The palace was an area of the moon that thrived and had life. But he continued to run passing by his reflection that was of a beautiful woman with flowing long brown hair and in a gown that was white and gold. On his forehead was a crescent moon mark of gold. He found what he was looking for, he Prince, his one true love. But a woman hidden in the shadows stabbed him through the chest.

Adam: NOOOOOO!!!!!!

The crystal in his hands pulsed with power around him, but before he could see what happened next he woke up in bed. Adam stumbled out of bed. He was a tall and attractive teenager with short brown hair and honey brown eyes. He pulled on his school uniform and went down stairs. His mother Rosie was setting up breakfast for him and his younger brother Abel.

Rosie: Good luck on the exam today sweetie.

Abel: He is going to fail.

As much as Adam loved him, Abel could be annoying. As a response Adam stuck out his tongue. After breakfast he ran through the streets and saw a group of kids harassing a cat.

Adam: Hey you little shitheads, stop it.

Adam ran over and picked up the cat. There was a bandage on the cat’s head and he removed it to see a crescent moon marking. But what really caught his attention was the teenager that ran to him. He had to be a year or two older than Adam with golden blonde hair and blue eyes. His uniform was from a very exclusive high school for the gifted.

Lucifer: Hey is everything alright, I saw those kids harassing that cat and came to help, my name is Lucifer Morningstar by the way.

Adam: My name is Adam Kadmon.

Adam was sure he was blushing up a storm at this very handsome young man. But the cat jumped out of Adam’s arms and onto a fence, the cat looked at Adam and ran away.

Lucifer: My school is close to where your school is, do you mind if I walk with you?

Adam: Not at all.

Lucifer watched the beautiful young man walking with him. He remembered his dreams of a Princess that lived on the moon. This Adam felt so much like her in spite of the fact that Adam was a man. If it wasn’t for his nightly activities he would have asked Adam if he wanted to hang out with him. Once they made it to Adam’s school, Adam smiled and waved at Lucifer before walking towards the school building. Just then Adam’s childhood friend, Angel walked up to him. In spite of the fact that Angel was a boy he always wore the girls school uniform because he said it was cuter.

Angel: So who was that hottie with you?

Adam: His name is Lucifer, I am sure that he was walking with me to be nice.

Angel: With the way he was looking, I don’t think that was the case. He is definitely attracted to you.

For the rest of the day his mind kept drifting to Lucifer.

There was just something about him that drew Adam in, maybe it was his kind blue eyes or the way he smiled before going to his own classes for the day.

Whatever it was, Adam was smitten with Lucifer and hoped to see him again and soon.

When he got home from school he went to his room to do his homework, sitting at his desk there was a scratching at his window. It was the kitty from before with the moon crest on its forehead.

Adam: Oh, hello kitty kitty.

He opened the window letting her in, he gave her a few pats.

Kitty: Adam?

Adam screamed and fell over: DEVIL CAT!!

Kitty: Shhh! My name is Luna and I've been looking for you.

Adam: What?

Luna: Yes, I need to tell you your purpose and why I'm here to help you. You're Sailor Moon, you're meant to protect the world from evil.

Adam watched in awe as this kitty used some magic to make a wand appear, it had a moon crest design on it, the handle black and gold.

Luna: To activate your power, just hold the wand up and say "Moon Prisim Power".

Adam was skeptical and wondering if he was dreaming. Carefully he picked up the wand and held it, it was smooth and not too heavy.

Here goes nothing.

Adam held it up: Moon Prisim Power!

A colorful light came out and surrounded him, he was covered in ribbons that changed into different clothes.

He now wore red knee high boots, white elbow length gloves, a blue and white sailor top with a large red bow and a mini red skirt. And to top it off he had a good tiara in his hair.

He looked good.

Adam: ..... Why am I dressed like a chick?

Luna: I can't tell you that, you have to figure that out for yourself.

Adam sighed, at least he made it look good. Kind of reminded him of his dream.

[annawry]

Loneliness and Love

It’s a strange thing, loneliness. 

It’s a bit like love, Edwin is starting to realize. He loves Charles, he’s in love with Charles, however unrequited. He believes, now, that he can say he loves Crystal as well, although in an entirely different manner. He loved Simon enough to forgive him, and Monty enough to want to be his friend despite the disastrous kiss and hurt feelings. He thinks he loved Niko, if the aching hollow in his chest whenever he thinks of her is anything to go by. All sorts of different loves. All sorts of different ways of feeling it, of receiving it, of sharing it.

There are different ways of feeling lonely, too. The loneliness of feeling as though something was wrong with him; a feeling that kept him at arm's length from all of his peers before his death, an invisible barrier that he couldn’t risk breaching. There’s the loneliness of being with his friends now and feeling the absence of one. There’s a kind of loneliness in being a ghost as well, incorporeal and detached from the world, never quite a part of it. 

And the loneliness of being in love with your best friend. Of standing by his side and knowing that he is the most important person in the world to you, and you to him, but not like that. Of wanting to kiss him, and knowing it wouldn’t be welcome.

At least Edwin can’t say he’s never been kissed now, but he does know the loneliness of that, too. Of never having experienced such a fundamental, foundational part of being alive: being loved romantically, being chosen, being desired. 

Although he supposes he can’t quite say he doesn’t know what that’s like, either. Simon desired him enough to sacrifice him, if ineptly, to a demon. Monty would have chosen him, in defiance of Esther and his entire purpose for existing in a human form. Only Edwin hadn’t wanted any of that, and being wanted by someone he doesn’t want in return is hardly a balm for a heart that yearns to know what it’s like to be in love with someone who is in love with him.

Perhaps that’s why he can’t quite stop thinking about the Cat King. Oh, he’s not foolish enough to think the King is in love with him, or ever would be. But maybe there’s something to be said for shared desire. The Cat King has made it abundantly clear what he wants from Edwin and Edwin can admit, now, that he's more than a little bit attracted to him in return. But what the Cat King offers is carnal pleasure and it’s somewhat ironic that the only kind of reciprocal desiring and desired that Edwin currently has available to him, is the one he can’t physically feel. And he doesn’t think ‘up there’, as Charles had put it, is going to be enough. In fact, he fears it will only make it worse.

But loneliness is a strange thing, and perhaps that is why Edwin finds himself walking the streets of Port Townsend again, having slipped away from their office through a mirror. He has spied more than one cat along his walk, and thinks it won’t be long until he is found.

[starcurtain]

Normally I am a very dedicated single-shipper and don't multi-ship too many characters, but seeing Sugilite, I was kind of like "Okay, but Sugilite and Aventurine would be a whole lot of pretty in one ship."

However, then I saw this fanart on twitter and now I'm just like... Hang on, hang on a second.

Hey Star's brain, have you considered: Bi disaster Sugilite who thinks he has an (extremely unfortunate, how did this happen, no way aghhhh!!) crush on Aventurine, so now he's stuck seething over Aventurine's newfound whatever with Dr. freaking Ratio of all people--

But he has no one else to whine about this to, so he's just constantly involving Topaz in his drama.

"Be my cover so I can spy on them--"

"This is not a thing that normal people do, you know."

Three hour phone calls complaining about Aventurine daring to breathe.

Dragging her out with him on fake dates trying to make Aventurine jealous--

Eating all the ice cream in Topaz's freezer without permission because he deserves to feel good about something in life again; Topaz, you just wouldn't understand--

Until finally Topaz is like "Sugilite, real talk here: Do you even actually like Aventurine, or are you just jealous he found someone and you're still single? Because you're the most annoying person I know, but also... I'm right here? We could just go on a real date sometime, you know?"

This is how Sugilite realizes he is actually a certifiable boyfailure™.

And also how I make Sugilite/Topaz a thing. I have a vision.

[freakinator]

sorry wemmbu but you couldnt handle s2 zam's transfem swag so minute cucked you instead

[tangledinink]

day nine of cringetober is rarepair, and there is truly nothing rarer or cringier than a canon/oc pairing. so here's gemini!donnie and the stupid cat he ends up with, sorrelshine, who y'all have briefly met before. they're the first person donnie befriends once they're no longer living under big mama's thumb, and they do, in fact, eventually become an item down the line because i'm a fucking sucker for that shit.

(they also eventually have a pair of oopsie babies, and sorrelshine argues SOOO hard to get to give them traditional bakeneko-styled names like their own)

(... an arguement which they eventually win.)

[sysig]

Enecomimi Banzaiiii (Patreon)

[fromtheseventhhell]

Remember George's outline notes that had "joy of giving" and "mercy at the gate" for Arya? Mercy is crossed out and we obviously have that as her sample chapter, so what if Arya's next alias is "Joy"? Over-thinking the significance of that phrase and how it could apply to the rest of her Braavos arc🤔

[undeadkyart]

<- guy who cried over the route of a love interest named nakedtoaster

[leonisloresmith]

The five most powerful individuals of Earth’s non-human world in my Psychonauts au. These are the Natural Consequences.

Also called the High Lares, these incredibly influential individuals became famous through regular feats of immense strength, and the aftermaths of such feats, that elevated them above their fellow Lares.

Every Lar gains a customary title including the name of an Earth deity, but only the most terrifying ever gain the special title that marks them a Natural Consequence. These special titles are given when an individual is so powerful that their abilities trigger natural disasters.

Not only are these titles meant to honor the Lares that carry them, but they serve as a reminder to everyone that these individuals do not fight unless the consequences are worth it.

Currently, there are 5 High Lares. Their Lar titles, with Natural Consequence titles in parentheses, are:

The Dionysus (The Hurricane)

The Morrígan (The Tornado)

The Chantico (The Eruption or The Volcanic Eruption)

The Epona (The Flood)

The Prithvi (The Earthquake)

[humanteethmarksonhumanbone]

i got a cat

[androgymagnus]

ive just figured out who the cat king reminds me of, face wise. it's thomas sanders. no idea why

[the-second-moon]

behold my beloved new child, catreus auratus hawke. "cat" to his parents. "rook" to everyone else. fake surname "mercar" for stealth.

(i.e., an attempt to craft a baby who somehow sprang from dorian and default male hawke. how does that work? magic. don't worry about it.)

i've only played the very start of da:tv..... twice, as it melted my old computer's insides on my first go........

so catreus is my second rook attempt, and he has enriched my experience in several ways:

after getting himself in trouble at home, "go stay with uncle varric until the heat on you dies down" makes a lot of sense for a baby hawke

my imagined "i get to hang out with uncle varric!" dynamic makes the opening part pretty cute :)

also "rook" really tracks as a varric nickname for a baby hawke, especially if his other dad saddled him with a pretentious tevinter name. you know varric's not saying all those syllables.

(ok look. listen. the chess piece explanation is a double meaning and/or just a clever varric obfuscation of the link to cat's famous dad. don't @ me.)

anyway i'm still very much processing how i feel about this game but i'm quite pleased with my son boy

[maranull]

Mini-Mini time

she almost never plays with me and is always a very sweet, quiet and regal lady. got her playing today though and I'm happy about it so here are some pics and a vid under the cut

[macaron-jester]

My grandmother's cat was doing the most intense yoga pose! He truly is an orange cat!