#finally got my meds refilled so

[whump-queen]

you know what I love?

a fucking maintenance beating.

whumpee didn’t do anything wrong, at least, not that they can remember. but tracing back in their memories is hard when they’re constantly getting kicked into the ground.

but this isn’t a punishment. they’ve been perfectly well behaved, as a matter of fact.

no, this beating isn’t corrective. it’s preventative.

whumper just does it to keep them in line.

[not-gonna-lose]

Hey, Kieran! How are you? Did you have a good winter break?

Mhm! Me and sis went home to Kitakami for break- Spent most of it with Atlas... And, um- I visited with the Pokemon I released back there, too... They were all doing well, which was good to see... Ummm, what else-

Juliana also came to visit me, which I- Wasn't really expecting... It's nice that I'm- Able to be friends with her again, though... Was really happy to see her- She introduced me to her other friends, too...! They were really nice... Nemona is- A little much sometimes, though, ehehe...

Sorry, rambled a bit- But uh, anyways, I did have a pretty good time, I think!

[void-of-unparalled-chaos]

Mama got herself put on depression medication today

[perihel1on]

about to be unmedicated for adhd for the first time in nearly a decade

i still have some more emails and phone calls to make before all hope is lost but i could potentially be out of them for over a month

[archliches]

listening to louie zong "hello, world" and thinking about malevolent AI in sci-fi, specifically how it all loops back to age-old human anxieties about raising children - the fear of your offspring growing to resent you, or that a child you neglect or abuse (consciously or not) might seek to take action against you. addressing the complex issue of a childs' personhood = addressing the complex issue of an AIs' personhood = addressing the issue of free will etc. and i think the solution to this problem is to teach computers more funny little songs.

[jackgoodfellow]

[WIP]

I need to make a Facebook post soon to update my friends and family on where I'm at in terms of my general wellbeing. I have been very isolated, and while I am getting better, I at least want my friends to know that I have ghosted them due to severe illness rather than a lack of love.

For motivation, I told myself i could make some art to go with it, but uhhh... I think maybe it is too scary for Facebook? 😅 But then again, it is both eye-catching and accurate, even if it doesn't incorporate the kind of righteous rage and feral joy I sometimes find in survival. But that's an art project for another day.

This was basically DIY art therapy. Maybe someday I'll post all the paintings I made when I was in art therapy in IOP! I have tried a lot of different therapies, and art therapy is in my top 3 "therapies that actually work on me." I hope those paintings haven't warped too much in storage...

[ichthysgospel]

re ur tags fucking hell that sucks im so sorry. i shouldn't have assumed that was snarky, the notes on this post have been full of people being like WELL I SAW A DOCTOR ONE TIME AND IT DIDNT HELP! GOTCHA! so i kinda jumped to conclusions which was shitty & im sorry. i wish i had good advice for finding good doctors i literally just kept going to different ones until someone listened and giving the finger to the ones that didnt. to be fair when i got my ptsd dx i hadnt slept in a week (to avoid nightmares) and was tripping absolute balls (because apparently lack of sleep = hallucinations) so it was sort of. painfully in-your-face obvious what was going on. the doctor i was seeing before that told me i should just try to be more positive. and then refused to refill my meds unless i scheduled a pap smear. the guy before that was willing to prescribe meds but he didnt bother to look at my history and ordered meds that were straight up contraindicated for me. my most recent psychiatrist refused to prescribe anything for adhd because he thought i was ??? following a trend or something??? idk i have a good team now but it took like a decade and a lot of assholes along the way. i guess im saying hang in there/keep fighting to find a good one? and also sorry for being an ass.

aw this is actually so sweet thank you :( I'm not mad at you at all I genuine just kinda. forgot (?) doctors actually have a job besides taking your money and telling you to wait it out. I think I'm finally starting to get lucky with the doctors I have now I really appreciate the encouragement :)

[master-gatherer]

I just want to start work

[iii-days-grace]

i took yesterday off to eat soup and take a nap so today is saturday2 for me

[savethepinecones]

hm

[ohraicodoll]

just dropping by to wish you an amazing day!

Thannnnnnnnk you! I appreciate that! Work brought in breakfast food for us and I'm working on this wip instead of being productive at work so I'm hoping it will be a good day! Thanks, nonny!

[triggeringtommy]

I handled adult business this morning and now ima spend my time gettin other chores done and thennn ima do a whole lotta nothin and pray that we can get a specific dab pen today bc we’re gonna run outta weed tonight 😡🤯😰

[whump-queen]

,,I’m stunnin what’s your point 💅🏻✨

Been a while since I drew these two idiots..

@whump-queen

Bonus dialogue:

“Uhhh.. boss, this wasn’t a favourite shirt of yours was it?”

“What did you do..”

“…”

“How’d you fucking tear it you ginormous freak?!”

*murmuring* “I told you this was a bad idea”

[volcanocraft]

sober life was my favourite season ever i think my favourite moment might be when scott gave pearl his naltrexone unprompted then got annoyed about her not returning his amazing good guy favour later......... so glad she took his final life

the undertones of that moment were so messed up considering pearl was one of the first greens to give some of her naltrexone to the reds. then her pharmacy said that her meds history didn’t line up with the refill request and she was removed from her healthcare plan which made her red instantaneously.

literally why else would scott do that if not to remind her that she can be dependent on him, yknow, if she wants … remember how i cared for you? her kill was so satisfying even though she was convinced he gave it to her on purpose again. we know next season scott will continue to leverage it over her head

[stoutguts]

ADHD/neurodivergent 🧼 (💀🧼 too bc why not/it's my comfort ship and I love them)

(chock full of my own personal HCs and ideas, also mental health stuff/issues/problems heyo)

I am most definitely all for autistic Ghost, but what about ADHD brain/neurodivergent Soap? I've seen few people talk about this or explore it so here we go.

Like, even though Johnny's generally laid back, he still tends to be very hyper or high-strung. Maybe even overwhelming for some people, and is easily excited almost like a puppy (golden retriever Soap my beloved), (Ghost thinking it's literally the cutest thing ever). Bro has either the attention span of a nat or is so hyper-focused on something he forgets to blink.

He has APD (auditory processing disorder),—and will ask you to repeat yourself 15+ times before he finally understands what your saying. This is incredibly frustrating for him, but like Price will lose his shit, because having to repeat himself is like one of his pet peeves lmao. Same thing, with Yuri.

Even Ghost and Gaz get fed up with him on occasion. Though Roach doesn’t give a fuck because they’re just as ADHD as him, and just loves to talk, plus their echolalia helps to sort things out lots of times. Gaz will give him the silent treatment and refuse to talk to him. Usually when Simon finally gets irritated with him it's lead to a fight. But it isn't long before Ghost feels bad and apologizes, and reassures him saying "I know you can't help it". Simon tries to work on learning to be more patient specifically for him. 💕

He does the same things that Simon does to stim, (though particularly pacing and bouncing his leg). But he also likes to chew on everything, whether it’s a pen/pencil, a cap off a water bottle or other plastic drink bottle—(This pisses off Simon in particular, and they’re always scolding him about how he’s gonna end up choking on it. Not to mention, he always leaves the nasty ass, spit-covered things around and forgets to throw them away after he’s done with one. Either leaving Ghost to pick up after him much to his disgust, or forcing Johnny to throw his own shit away, (as he should). If he gets ahold one of those spiky silicone balls from an arcade machine he likes to bite the nibs on it, etc. Simon has even bought him some chewlery because he orally stims so much, to which Soap uses all the time and was overjoyed when Ghost first got it for him. Though his chewlery needs to constantly be replaced because Johnny has unusually strong and sharp teeth. It’s not uncommon for him to completely destroy shit that he gets his paws on. Simon often comparing him to a dog or a teething puppy.

I am also totally for Johnny being just as mentally fucked as Ghost.

He’s the four b's, bisexual, bipolar, bilingual, and a bitch.

Like Simon, Johnny has generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), for similar or for maybe even the same reasons as Ghost. Not nearly to the same level of severity, but panic attacks and flashbacks do happen on occasion. As with certain things he's easily triggered.

He also struggles with bipolar disorder and/or severe manic depression. His bipolar tendencies making it incredibly difficult to maintain relationships in his youth, among many other things, (his past drug abuse/addiction only making him worse and more unstable). Though these days he’s medicated and for the most part stable, only sometimes going off his meds, (particularly when he relapses or is heavily triggered by something).

No therapist has ever been able to help Soap, though he does see a psychiatrist regularly.

Mostly for anti-psychotics and other prescription refills and the like, but can vent as much as he likes to them. Either that, or Simon doesn't mind lending an ear to listen when he needs it.

Similar to Ghost, Johnny can have very low self-esteem, but can also be of very high self-esteem, (it fluctuates due to his manic depression). And Simon is more than willing to give him reassurance and comfort, but equally doesn't mind knocking him off his high-horse, and/or, taking down his ego a few pegs if need be. (Which isn't so bad, as Johnny just so happens to have a degradation kink). >:3

Johnny is a highly reserved person, (though he’s able to put on a mask/a show for other people and strangers), and pretty stoic (all things considered), due to his traumatic upbringing. He has a very unhealthy habit of bottling up his emotions until he quite literally explodes, though he's trying to get better about that. But he can’t help but genuinely let his guard down, and has LEARNED to let his guard down around Ghost, the 1-4-1, and his sisters (the most important people in his life).

This tidbit has less to do with mental health and rather his personality but I still wanted to include it here so…

Soap is highly perceptive and emotionally intelligent. You can't hide anything from him as he can always tell when someone's lying to him, and he always knows when something's wrong. A true empath. He's also a very good liar himself because of this, but he uses this secret power responsibly, and would never lie to those closest to him and/or his loved ones.

All members of the 1-4-1 having highly specific phobias? Yes please.

As for Johnny…

He is deathly afraid of needles and hospitals (Trypanophobia and Nosocomephobia), because when he was growing up and as a young kid he was quite sickly, and often was in and out of the hospital. He's immunocomprised and gets sicks all the time, most of the time nowadays when he gets sick it's just a small cold, with the occasional illness that may put him out of commission for a bit—Simon always doting over him and making sure he’s okay when he even so much as senses he’s got a runny nose—Johnny finding it incredibly endearing, but when he was a child it was horrible. When he was hospitalized he'd suffer at the hands of doctors and nurses much too often, going through one too many traumatic experiences. Mostly, because of incompetence or just straight up apathy. Getting his IV done is the worst, because he's cursed with almost non-existent and small veins. Oh so jealous, of Ghost's huge and bulging veins. Someone will stick him upwards of 10 times or more, or until his arms are swollen, until they finally get it right usually. Not to mention, Johnny also has Hemophilia, and so he bleeds a lot which only makes it even more distressing. Soap specifically underwent medical and first-aid training, just so he could avoid going to medical himself as much as possible. His medical knowledge and training has happened to pay off lots of times in the field, for himself or for his teammates or squad’s sakes. Despite his aversion, he's not squeamish at all when it comes to mending his own wounds, or others weirdly enough. Even if he's severely injured he refuses to go to medical. Simon used to get really mad at him for this, because of not only his stubbornness, but seemingly his cockiness was what really pissed him off. And they know Johnny’s skills only go so far, and he's immunocomprised and a hemophiliac for crying out loud. Eventually Ghost confronted him about this, and after Soap explained everything it was a lot more understanding and sympathetic. Though it didn’t change the fact that it will borderline harass him if he’s seriously hurt and won’t go help himself, or just straight up force him to go to medical. Johnny always protests but ultimately he gives in, and Simon makes sure to give him emotional support and stay with him when he needs patched up.

Thank you for reading my ramblings, next post will be about my take on Ghost, his mental health, his autism, etc, probably!

[callmearcturus]

what erik needs is fucking adderall

based on the idea punct and I keep kicking around that bc Peter is clearly ADHD as fuck, Erik is too but he's never been medicated so he's just so fucking high-functioning he's like a neurotic clock that has ground all of his reactions down and has his shit on lockdown. so then what if he finally gets medication?

Peter, in his cast after XMA: Oh yeah can someone run into town to pick up my good good drugs? Cause my leg. Charles: Drugs? Ah, the-- yes, I'll ask Hank. Erik, curious: Drugs? Peter: Hard drugs. Fuckin' speed, my man. Charles: It's not-- it's. Dextroamphetamine besalt, not-- Peter: Amphetamine is in the name! Erik: He's on amphetamine? For his mutation? Peter: Nah, nah, I got the distraction thing. Serotonin and stuff. Charles: Oh for god's-- it's… what is it (reads Erik) ah, Aufmerksamkeits-Defizit-Hyperaktivitäts-Syndrom? Erik: I see you're pronunciation is still dreadful. ADHS, hm?

Charles, looking between Erik and Peter: Hm. Peter, lifting his eyebrows, looking at Erik, then back at Charles: I mean. No, no way. Charles: It does tend to be, ah. patrilineal, is the thing. Erik: What does? Peter: But he's Jewish, isn't that matrilineal? It's a whole thing. Charles: That-- it doesn't mean genetics work differently-- (outraged noises) Erik: What about my mother? You're talking around me. Charles: It'd just be… interesting to see. I'll have Jean go along with Hank and… suggest an extra refill. He has many of the signs for late stage diagnosis. Erik: Glauben Sie, dass ich ADHS habe? Charles: (hums non-committally)

(later) Peter: what if it kills him Erik, laying on medical bed: I'd be very annoyed, personally. I have survived quite a few impressively fatal incidents. Peter: Oh yeah like the nazis. Charles, full Professor Mode: Yes, thank you, Peter. And we have a full stock of dopamine antagonists and nitroglycerin in case he has a bad reaction. It'd be terribly poor form for me to kill your newly-discovered father so soon in your reconciliation. Erik: That lab rat feeling is returning… Perhaps I'll see if Jean needs help with the roof. Charles: No. Swallow this pill. Erik, giving a severe look: If you really decided to finally end our truce, you would do better than poisoning me, correct? Charles: I would never insult you with something so underhanded. Hell, it wouldn't be dramatic enough for me either, I'd be… Peter: … Blue-balled? Charles: Take the bloody meds, Erik.

(TWENTY MINUTES LATER) Charles, to Peter: Is he all right? Peter: Huh, yeah. Yanno sometimes I forget to pick up my refill right so I gotta go some days without it or I ration, so when I take it again, I gotta get over the sleepy. Charles: The 'sleepy'. It's speed. Peter: I know! It's so weird. It chills you out. It's better than weed honestly. I mean uh. Not that I've ever done weed. Charles: Oh please, Peter, I've rolled a few joints in my time. Peter: Huh. Cool. So is there a good dealer around here? Charles, out loud: Erik? Erik, eyes closed, breathing slowly: Yes, Charles? Charles: You don't seem to be having a hypertensive episode. Erik: No. (reaches out a hand, flicks off the lights with his power) You can go back to speaking telepathically. It's quieter.

that's all i got, i gotta sleep