#and i had yesterday and today off regardless but i just tried to cancel my shift for today and i cant log in
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savethepinecones · 1 year ago
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hm
#i havent worked in a bit because my brain hates me and ive just been canceling my shifts til i had the energy to go through the whole leave#request process#and i finally was able to get that requested a couple days ago#and i had yesterday and today off regardless but i just tried to cancel my shift for today and i cant log in#which i think means either the leave got approved already and they havent notified me yet or they decided to let me go#and i cant get into my work email and i havent checked it in like a week because i havent been working#but its entirely possible that they sent me an email about this since i checked it last but now i cant see it#so like i just have to wait i guess???#and like i cant even be that upset about it if they did let me go cuz like i havent worked in over a month i get it whatever#but i really dont like this whole not knowing thing#it is not helping#also its almost 7 am and i have not slept oops#and like they did mention that if the leave gets approved i wont have access to my work accounts until im approved to return#so its also possible that it got finalized over the weekend and theyre gonna email me on monday#but also i may have just lost my job and i wont even know for sure until like tomorrow#also also i used up my inhaler and i keep trying to call in a refill but i never get the notification that its ready to be picked up#like hello i would like to not be wheezing regularly thank you#sorry for the rant im just. oof rn#im trying to get my meds adjusted so i can get back to work because i cant do shit rn#but i may have just lost my insurance and i havent had any income for a month so im a little worried i wont be able to afford the meds#like the stuff that theyre having me try now is doing absolutely nothing so im gonna have to try something else#and theres no guarantee that the next one will do it#but i cant handle doing the whole job hunting thing as i am now#so like if i lose this job im just kinda stuck for a bit#and like if i didnt have to worry about paying for meds out of pocket id have enough savings for a couple more months#but if i lose my insurance idk how long my savings will last#and like im for sure not gonna lose my housing so its not as bad as it could be but im still stressy#which is not helping my mental health#which is the reason i havent been working#i just feel stuck idk
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outofcontexturi · 4 months ago
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Monday 15th July 2024 10:09am
yesterday was a beautiful day for many reasons. I truly had a really good day lol😁😂 I did a small 40 min audition technique call with my mentor/friend and then got ready for work. I’d missed all my trains and every Uber cancelled on me lol so I called my dad to drop me off and he did bless him. That man really risked his safety to get me to a station on time🥹 anyways i was late to work but like 26 mins lol. Work was also chill. Got to speak to Nolu and my brother very briefly. After work I was going to go home but decided to walk to Marble Arch with hopes that I’d find a lime bike lol I managed to find several; none of which worked so I walked to Knightsbridge; same story. I finally found one on the corner of Knightsbridge station that was just right for me. I cycled around Hyde park like 3 times before venturing out and I ended up in South Kensington lol before deciding to head back to Charing Cross. I’d never intentionally cycled from a point A to B before and really wanted to try something new so I did and I must say GREAT EXPERIENCE. I haven’t felt so alive in a long time. The thrill, the danger, the knowing that I’m getting there safely and trusting myself thru out the process. I remember saying when I couldn’t find a bike “this isn’t over yet because I’m not on a bike yet” and I remember saying on the bike “this isn’t over until I get to Charing Cross” and my god did I get back. I saw someone crash in Westminster too. Brutal scenes. Spoke to the family when I got home and watched half of the movie On The Count of Three. Great watch so far. OH YEAH/ I pulled a cramp whilst cycling near Westminster and just pushed thru it lol I felt like triple h when he tore his muscle and just kept wrestling thru it. I pulled it again as I got to Grove Park station. I couldn’t walk at all as the cramp had taken both legs. I stood there as we all got off the train and tried walking and I couldn’t. I sat for 5 and said “I’m getting home regardless of anything” and just powered thru that bitch. It was yesterday evening I gained a greater understanding of myself and the power of a positive mindset during what is perceived as a negative experience. I’m truly more power and I thought before. All praises to the most high!
Today will be beautiful. So mote it be! Amen!
Uri
sign out time:10:27am
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awkwarddystopianwarlord · 9 months ago
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Dear Universe Gods, Go to Bed
Me and my mates went up island for four days two weeks ago today and the trip was great. It was raining the whole time but that didn’t really affect us too much. We had a wonderful time and life was chill and peaceful and nice. We should have known that this wouldn’t last. Life tends to dismantle our happiness and stability far more than necessary and it did just that after our trip ended. 
We have another overnight trip planned for next week on the mainland. We’re going to a fan expo and the plan was to get photos with an actor we love from Stranger Things. Alas, the man cancelled due to filming schedules. This was depressing, but we still have other things to do there and two of us are delusional enough to assume it’s because he’s filming season five of Stranger Things despite dying in the last season, so his cancellation seems reasonable. We could manage this loss. 
Then smaller inconveniences happened. One friend immediately burnt her thumb upon her return home from our trip. I nearly flooded my house because my toilet clogged when I got back. Days later, she broke her Converse. Another friend had an allergic reaction to tuna despite not being allergic to tuna and only peanuts. A couple days ago, a necklace I love broke at the chain and now I have to figure that out. This morning, the friend who was mildly poisoned by fish accidentally slammed her hand between a cart and a bin. I’m not disabled enough to be taken seriously as disabled. My rent went up and my credit card paid itself off and the combination of the two has left me with less than two hundred dollars in my main bank account. It took three years of living on my own but I will now be surviving paycheque to paycheque which is fucking disappointing.
But the biggest, worstest, fuckiest absolute inconvenience of all that happened last Thursday was the sudden resignation of our precious nurse practitioner. The woman who all three of us saw every two weeks, who went way over our scheduled time to ensure we were taken care of and heard, who listened to us and helped us. She was gone even though we had an appointment scheduled the coming Monday. That was cancelled and we have been in hellish limbo ever since. With that hitting us among the other inconveniences, we have been in a dreadful fragile state. We have been hit, yet again, with the curse that plagues our group and forces us to remember what suffering feels like regardless of the fact we rarely stop suffering. I was ranting to myself for half an hour after learning that my one healthcare professional who is worthy of her title was gone. I was punching my couch and yelling and getting choked up and pacing around. I couldn’t get ready for bed because I was so riled up. 
We’ve all tried to figure out why we are fated to be slammed over the head by life so often. Were we all dictators and murderers in a past life? Do past lives work like that? Is the universe straight up after us just because? Are we secretly evil? I’ve tried convincing myself I’m a terrible person, because horrible shit keeps happening, the same way I’ve tried convincing myself I was attracted to women, because that’s what people assumed when they saw me. I’m not, though. I’m not gay for women even though I often wear flannels and want a Subaru Outback. I’m not a terrible person either, I’m completely average. 
I’ve heard these misfortunes are supposed to make us stronger, humble, enlightened, grateful, in some way improved. I am not a better person because of this, any of this. Any of what’s happened recently and what’s happened over the course of my life has not made me better. I’m angry and bitter and jaded and tired and I don’t have time to help others because I can barely help myself. I don’t like my fellow humans any more now than I ever did. In fact, I despise them more than I ever did. I don’t have any more of an appreciation of my life now than all my yesterdays. I find it increasingly horrendous and unacceptable. 
All any of us have control over is consuming food. That’s what we drown our sorrows in. I have devoured cupcakes, cookies, ice cream, and timbits. Food is the only thing we can guarantee. It is the only consistent comfort. I had to watch the Barbie movie just to cry all my stress out because I was so overwhelmed and I lost track of how many cookies I added to my bowl of ice cream for I couldn’t see through the tears. You know how Oppenheimer quoted “Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds”? Now I am become void, the destroyer of sweets. 
I’m gonna have to write a strongly worded letter to the head office of the universe because I am dissatisfied with the results of life and would like compensation because eating my feelings is bad for my health.
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slapshot-to-the-heart · 4 years ago
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road less travelled - m. tkachuk
I was throwing together a list of ideas yesterday, and this one stuck out to me for some reason. So I started writing, thankfully had a pretty free weekend, and finished today! It was a fun piece to right, I hope you all enjoy it! As always, I read all my tags, so reblogs are a writer’s best friend! You’re also more than welcome to come into my inbox and yell at me if that’s more your speed.
word count: 4.5k+
March 18 (thurs)
Elsie couldn’t believe she had gotten herself in this situation again. Every time she woke up in his bed she swore it was the last time, but one drunken mistake turned into another, which turned into a threepeat, and now she wasn’t so sure it had been a mistake in the first place. There was just something about Matthew Tkachuk, something so intoxicating that she was able to ignore the every fiber of her being that was screaming at her to stop this, stop things before it turned sour. Stop it before her brother found out. 
It had been easy enough to keep things from Johnny when they first started hooking up; they’d meet at a crowded bar, somewhere where the cover of anonymity was all but guaranteed, or a late-night text, a few words by the other communicating everything they needed to know. He was lonely. And Elsie Gaudreau was the only one who could help. It had been easy enough to keep things from Johnny at the start, but then they started texting before 11 PM, and then they decided they were exclusive, and then, Matty decided that it was about time that they put a label on it. And suddenly it wasn’t so easy to keep their secret anymore. 
The team knew that he was seeing someone, but much to everyone’s surprise, he had said precious little about their relationship. He called her Leigh in the locker room, or out with the boys — her grandmother’s middle name, one he felt toed the line as well as possible between complete fabrication and some semblance of the truth — and they knew the couple had been together for a few months, that she made him laugh, and that he was more into her than they had seen him act with anyone in recent memory. She didn’t come to events because she was shy, Matthew said, and he didn’t want to subject her to the kind of spotlight he knew she might be scrutinized under the moment they went public. He wasn’t lying when he said she’d been to games — Elsie usually made it to a few a month, usually on Johnny’s invitation — but left out the part where she wore the number 13 in the stands instead of 19, or where she caught a ride home with her brother after media availability instead of her boyfriend, the man she’d been sleeping with for the past five months. 
“Leaving already?” Matty mumbled, slinging one arm over her waist as Elsie tried to sit up. 
She twisted over, kissing him softly. His stubble tickled her cheek. “Got class, remember?” Of course he remembered. Class was the whole reason she was in Alberta; most of it, at least. She had done her undergrad in astrophysics at Wellesley in Massachusetts, and when the time had come for her to decide where to do her graduate studies, Johnny had been all too quick to offer up Calgary. “It’s a great program!” he had said. And it was, but Elsie also had her doubts that her brother knew much about astronomy beyond the ability to find the Great Dipper on a clear day. They had always been close, even when he went to go play in Dubuque when she was 13, but their time together had naturally been more than a little limited ever since he turned pro. So when the opportunity arose for them to be in the same city full-time for the first time in a decade, he was jumping at the prospect of being able to look after his younger sister again. And, especially after he offered to pay her tuition, she wasn’t about to say no. International fees didn’t come cheap. 
Matty groaned, pawing at her hand as she got up from the bed, throwing the covers back over him. “Do you have to go?” he whined. 
Elsie rolled her eyes. “It’s an 8 AM, and it’s,” she glanced at her watch, “already 7. I’d love to stay in bed with you, babe, but I’ve still got to eat and get dressed and grab all my stuff. Plus, it’s at least fifteen minutes to drive and find a place to park, so I’ve got to build that in too.”
“I still think it’s dumb that they make you pay to park at your own school. You’re already paying tuition, plus you TA that one course, so it’s not like you’re doing nothing for them,” he said.
“It’s dumb,” she agreed.
Matthew clicked his tongue. “It’s highway robbery, is what it is, Els.”
She laughed, bending over the bed to run a hand through his curls. She loved those curls. “Be that as it may, Matty dear, I’ve still got to get there on time. Experimental space physics waits for no man.” 
He pouted. “Fine.”
Elsie shot him a sympathetic look. “I’ll try to swing by after my classes let out, how does that sound?”
“Can’t. Johnny and some of the guys are going to be over after morning skate, we’re going out to lunch then they’re coming back here. I’ll call you if they don’t stay too late?” he proposed, looking over at her. 
She gave a tight smile. “Works for me.”
---
Matthew couldn’t believe he had managed to keep things from Johnny for as long as he had. As pretty much anyone could tell you, he was the world’s worst secret-keeper off the ice, and even more so when it came to his friends. And every time Johnny would lean over to him in the locker room, showing him a picture Elsie had posted on Instagram, or recount a story from the intro astronomy class she TA’d, he had to bite his lip and pretend like he hadn’t been the one to take the picture, or he hadn’t been the first to hear about the kid who didn’t believe you couldn’t see the Southern Cross from Alberta. As much as Matthew hated it, he knew that part of what made his relationship with Elsie so exhilarating was the illicit nature of the whole thing. Something about sneaking around with your best friend’s little sister made everything that much more exciting. 
The first time they hooked up hadn’t been a mistake, but it hadn’t been planned in any possible sense of the word. Elsie had moved to Calgary in August, a few weeks before everyone had stated trickling back into Alberta for training camp. Matthew was pretty sure it was mostly Johnny not wanting her to only be surrounded by “space nerds” — his words, not Matty’s, because while he had endless admiration for his sister’s dedication and academic skill, he understood approximateky 0.2% of what she was studying — all day, so by late September or so, she had established herself as a core member of the Flames’ “going-out” group. Which led to one particular night at a bar in October, with Johnny having already headed home thanks to an early breakfast with his fiancée and most of the rest of the group leaving around midnight. And it was a Friday, so Elsie had let herself have a few more drinks than usual; the team didn’t have practice until noon, so Matthew let himself shrug off any worry of a hangover. And Matty and Elsie already knew each other, so they got to talking, then they got to drinking, then they got to kissing. And then Elsie cancelled her Uber to get into Matthew’s, and before she knew it they were stumbling through his doorway, her fingers tangled in his curls and her legs wrapped around his waist as he walked her back to his bedroom.
There were a few people who knew the truth, and only a few people. Matthew had Brady and his mom. His logic being, as soon as Brady knew he was even vaguely interested in someone, he never took no for an answer and would have annoyed her name out of him regardless of whether or not he was being particularly forthcoming with any personal information. His mom because if he needed any advice, if he needed someone to turn to that wasn’t the incredibly vague commentary he gave the boys in the locker room, he wanted to have someone there who wouldn’t judge him and would have his best interests at heart. Okay, scratch that. Chantal definitely judged him, lifting her eyebrows over FaceTime as he called to break the news. She knew Elsie from the one trip with Johnny she’d made out to St. Louis and the times the Tkachuks had travelled up to Canada to visit the boys, and as much as she told Matthew that keeping it a secret was just about the worst thing he could do to his friend, she couldn’t say she was exactly surprised he had fallen for Elsie. 
Elsie had Ines, her best friend from college. It was easier with her, much more straightforward with a lot fewer of the conflicts of interest she felt she got with talking with anyone in the “hockey world.” Ines knew hockey, she obviously had met Johnny and some of the other boys before. Wellesley was only a twenty-five minute drive away from the Boston city center, so the one time a year the Bruins played Calgary at home she’d go with Elsie. But Ines was compassionate, objective, and one of the smartest people Elsie had ever met in her life. She didn’t have any stake in the matter that wasn’t named Elsie Gaudreau, and she wasn’t about to mince her words because she was afraid of what Matty — or Johnny for that matter — would think. So there were people who knew, but the list was very short and, at least for the time being, they wanted to keep it that way.
For anyone on the outside looking in, who didn’t know them as well, they might have said that it was a long time coming. “It” being Matthew and Elsie’s relationship. And, if she was being honest, Elsie might have agreed. She knew Matty since he joined the team; he and her brother were thick as thieves from the beginning, and he’d visited them on the East Coast pretty much every summer since his rookie year. Visited Johnny. Not her. Johnny had made it crystal-clear from the beginning that under no circumstances was their relationship ever allowed to proceed beyond friendly. 
And it didn’t. For four years, almost, it didn’t. Sure, Elsie may have carried a torch for him from the moment they were introduced, but she was far too concerned about Matty’s physical and mental well-being to pursue anything. Even if, once or twice, she could have sworn that he felt something too. But then she moved to Calgary for grad school, and Johnny started bringing her out with the boys, and she finally got to see him in his element, really in his element. She got to see Alternate Captain Matthew Tkachuk, the one who’d go to the ends of the earth for his team, who would score goals and drop gloves and do whatever needed to be done whenever it needed to be done. And it didn’t hurt that Matty looked hot as fuck whenever he got into fights, his curls flying as he stuffed his helmet under an arm, skating over to the penalty box. It only hurt that she had let herself fall for him.
March 22 (mon)
Johnny was over at Matthew’s apartment; he had come over under a pretense of going over some tape from their last road trip, but it had quickly devolved into a very heated game of Super Smash Bros before the pair took a break for dinner. “Dude, your laundry’s in the way,” Johnny said as he made his way to the bathroom, Matthew staring at the half-cooked pot of pasta on his stove. 
“It’s clean, you can just dump it in my room,” he called down the hall. He didn’t hear the tell-tale click of the bathroom door, so he looked down the hallway, only to be greeted by a site he hoped he’d never have to see. 
A conspiratorial grin on his face, Johnny held a black, lacy pair of panties between two fingers. His sister’s panties. The half-second it took for Matthew to reach, jumping forward and grabbing them out of his hands, unfortunately wasn’t enough. He held them behind his back, almost as if he was hoping that if Johnny couldn’t see them, they weren’t really there. 
“Leigh’s?” he asked, raising one eyebrow. 
Matthew rubbed his temples with the hand that wasn’t holding the panties. “Yeah. Just...Pretend you never saw those, okay?” 
Johnny rolled his eyes. “Who would I tell? The boys? They wouldn’t care. You? You already know. Elsie?” Matthew froze. “She’d just slap me and get mad at invading your privacy.”
“And you are,” Matthew mumbles, stuffing the panties into his back pocket. 
Johnny’s brow furrowed; he leaned up against the doorframe. “Seriously, though, Chucky. What’s going on with you and this girl? You know everyone respects your decision to keep things quiet and private, but I’m your best friend on the team.” The look on his face betrayed the hurt he felt inside. “I would have thought you’d say something, to me at least.”
Matthew let out a deep breath. How was he going to talk his way out of this one? “I know, and I feel bad that it seems like I’ve been keeping things from you.” But he was keeping things. Very important things. “I think with Leigh and I, we just want to take things slow, make sure what we have is real. And I think it is,” he said, hazarding a glance at his friend. “I don’t know if it’s love, yet, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about a girl before. But we both agree that we need to know before we open it up to the opinions of the rest of the world, before she gets shoved into the public eye. And she understands what that’s like better than most, but it’s still not fair.” 
Johnny’s ears perked. “Better than most?” Matthew froze. “What is she, like an Instagram model or something?” 
He smirked, pushing him with one hand. “No, she’s not.” 
Johnny realized quickly that he wasn’t going to be getting any more information out of Matthew anytime soon, so much to his chagrin, he dropped it. Johnny left Matthew’s apartment that night with a weird taste in his mouth, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. And he didn’t like that. 
April 3 (sat) 
Everyone was at Gio’s house, one of his quarterly team barbecues that had quickly become one of Matthew’s favorite things as soon as he joined the team. By “everyone,” that meant the players and their families, kids, partners, parents if they were in town. Johnny hadn’t invited Elsie — he assumed she’d be getting ready for finals, which was true, but Matthew knew she could have spared an afternoon — and Matthew couldn’t think of a way to invite her himself without arousing suspicion, so she was back in her downtown apartment while the boys were busy grilling up an inhuman amount of meat for dinner.
After everyone ate and the dishwasher had been loaded, someone decided to light the fire pit, and the conversation turned to relationships. For once, Matty didn’t tune out.“It’s the little things, you know?” Gio said, tipping back his beer. “When I see Lauren in my jersey at the games, or when she’s fallen asleep on the couch waiting for us to get back from a road trip. Makes you realize that what really matters isn’t so much how many goals you score or how big a contract you have. It boils down to the quality of people in your life, and we’ve got some good ones.” 
“It’s the same thing with Leigh and I,” Matthew said. His words caused everyone to listen. There were precious few times Matthew willingly volunteered information about his relationship, and as much as his teammates genuinely did respect their penchant for privacy, that didn’t mean they wanted any fewer details. “Sometimes when she stays over and doesn’t have anywhere to be the next day, I’ll walk out to the kitchen and she’ll just be dancing around the stove, making pancakes and singing along to a Fleetwood Mac song. Usually takes her a minute or two to notice me.” 
The guys laughed, and Matty took a long pull of his beer. He wasn’t really risking anything by saying that. Plenty of people liked Fleetwood Mac. “And she’s got this little scar behind her right ear, got it from falling out of a tree as a kid. She always tries to cover it up, but I like it better when she lets it show.” Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was Matty’s frustration about not being able to say anything about the woman he was falling in love with finally coming to a head, that made him say something he maybe shouldn’t have. 
He realized, as he hesitantly met Johnny’s eyes, and could see the gears in his head turning, that he definitely shouldn’t have said anything. Johnny was looking in between his beer and Matthew, then Matthew and his beer, then his hands and Matthew’s, which were tapping nervously on the arm of his deck chair. And then he started to put things together. The orange blossom soap at Matthew’s apartment — Elsie’s favorite scents were citrus. Fleetwood Mac was one of her favorite bands. Their maternal grandma’s middle name was Leigh. And the scar. He remembered the day she got it, falling off an oak tree in their backyard in New Jersey, running into the house to get their mom and then in the car to the emergency room with a six-year-old Elsie who needed four stitches from the accident. And with an extremely uncomfortable feeling, he realized that that more likely than not, that meant the pair of panties he had picked up that one afternoon in Matthew’s apartment had been hers. He wanted to throw up. 
Matthew was sweating as Johnny finally looked him in the eyes, realizing that the secret he and Elsie had tried so hard to keep for so long wasn’t going to be a secret much longer. “Matthew,” he began, his voice dangerously low. Matthew winced. He couldn’t remember the last time Johnny had called him by his first name. “Her name’s not Leigh, is it.” He said it like a statement, because, well, it was. He knew the answer, he just needed to hear it from someone other than himself, that the one thing he had asked of his best friend had apparently proven too much. 
Matthew shook his head slowly. “No.” Everyone else’s eyes flitted between the pair, Markstrom and Gio and Andersson and everyone else very clearly confused. 
“Something going on here?” Gio asked carefully. 
“Tell them what her name is, Matthew.” Matthew squeezed his eyes shut. If he didn’t see everyone’s reactions, everyone’s disappointed faces, maybe they wouldn’t happen. 
“Elsie.” 
“Elsie what?” he prompted. 
“Elsie Gaudreau,” Matthew finished. You could have heard a pin drop, the backyard was so silent.
 “Dude, you’re dating his sister?” Noah asked. 
Matthew nodded, one hand still tightly gripping his bottle. 
“How long?” Johnny asked, looking him straight in the eyes. 
“Just under six months,” Matthew admitted. 
He sucked a breath in. “You’ve been dating my sister for six fucking months and nobody ever thought to maybe, I don’t know, tell me?”
“It didn’t start as dating, we were just—” 
Johnny cut him off. “I can see where that’s going, and I don’t want to fucking hear it, Matthew. This was the one thing I asked you to not do. You’re a fucking All-Star NHL player, Matt. You could have any girl you wanted, you could wheel half of Calgary and I wouldn’t care as long as everyone was into it. But my little sister? The one person I told you years ago was off-limits? You had to fall for Elsie?” 
“I—” Matthew stammered as he set his drink down. “I didn’t expect anything to happen. Neither of us did. But then it did, and I fell for her, and for some ungodly reason she’s decided to stay with me, and I don’t know, Johnny,” he finished weakly. “I felt terrible about keeping it from you, and for what it’s worth, Elsie does too. I feel awful about how you found out, you deserved better than this. But I won’t apologize for my feelings.”
Johnny scoffed, standing up and grabbing his keys. “She deserves better.”
April 4 (sun)
The first thing Matthew did the next day was go over to Elsie’s house. He had already called her the night before to tell her what happened; even if he didn’t, she had the numbers of half the guys on the team and more than one had texted her to check in after seeing how Johnny left things. When he opened the door, Elsie wasn’t doing well, to put it mildly. She was sitting on her couch, wrapped up in a blanket with a barely-touched mug of tea on the coffee table in front of her. She gave him a weak smile as he walked over. “Hey.”
He bent down, kissing the top of her head. “Hey, Els. How are you doing?”
“Not great.” At least she didn’t try to hide, not like it would have been any use with Matthew. He could read her almost as well as her own parents could. “I tried to call him last night and this morning, sent a few texts, just trying to explain. Asking to talk. But he hasn’t responded to anything, I called my mom and she said she hasn’t heard anything either.”
Matthew sat on the couch beside her. “He hasn’t talked to Gio either.”
She rested her head on his shoulder; his fingers carded through the soft hair at the base of her neck. “I feel like it’s my fault,” Elsie said despondently. Coming in between her brother and one of his best friends was the last thing she would have wanted, and she was starting to feel like everything was falling apart because of her. “It never would have happened if I wasn’t there,” she mumbled into Matty’s shoulder. 
Matthew immediately shook his head. “No, no, don’t say things like that, babe. It’s not your fault, don’t put all the blame on you. Everyone dropped the ball on this one, and you shouldn’t have to take responsibility for how your brother decided to react.”
They were jolted out of their relative peace by a frantic knocking on the door. Elsie furrowed her brow. “I’m not expecting anyone?” she questioned as she threw the blanket off of her lap, She opened the door to see Johnny, staring bashfully down at his hands, an apologetic look on his face. 
“I’m sorry,” he said. 
Elsie raised her eyebrows. “You should be.” After a moment, she stood aside to let him in the door.
He scratched the back of his neck, avoiding Matthew’s eyes. “I talked to Mom, she kind of chewed me out about the whole thing. Not talking to you when you called or texted, the way I kind of blew up at you yesterday,” he nodded at Matthew, “but mostly the leaving. Neither of you deserved that. You deserved to have a chance to sit down, explain yourselves, and have an adult conversation.” A flash of regret shot through his eyes, which steeled again as soon as he saw Matthew’s arms around Elsie, who had returned to the couch. “But that doesn’t mean I like it. I’m still pissed that you went behind my back, and that you two decided to do the one thing I asked you not to do, and how you blindsided me—”
“You’re not my dad, Johnny. You don’t get to decide how I live my life,” Elsie said sharply.
He screwed his eyes shut. “I know, but I love you and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, and—”
“No more ‘ands.’ I know you don’t like it, Johnny. You’ve made that much very clear,” Elsie said in frustration. “Pretty much everyone knows that if you could make a list of guys you wanted to date your little sister, Matthew Tkachuk would be in last place. But just think,” she paused, looking up at her brother. “Think about all the things you said to look for in a guy when I started getting old enough to date. Divorce who Matty is from your feelings about us being together. You always gave me three things. Someone who cares about me. Someone who respects me. And someone who’s honest.” Johnny nodded, his hands in his pockets. “Matty is all of that and more, Johnny. He treats me better than anyone I’ve ever been with, and I love him. And that’s what you’ve always wanted for me. Nothing more and nothing less.” 
Johnny leaned up against the bookshelf. “I guess you’re right.” 
Elsie cracked a tiny grin. “I’m sorry, what was that?” 
He groaned in response. “Don’t make me say it again, I’m not going to.” She shrugged. He looked between her and Matthew, sighing. “I overreacted, and I’m sorry about that. If you love him,” Elsie smiled, “and he cares about you,” Matthew frantically nodded, “then there’s really nothing more I could ask for. I think it just hurt that you two felt like you couldn’t come to me as soon as things progressed, as soon as you got together.” 
“We were afraid you’d react like you did,” Elsie said, reaching over to grab Matty’s hand. “We never wanted to hurt you, and I might only be speaking for myself, but I think I was worried you’d try to come between us, or say something about the relationship, or…” She trailed off. “I don’t know. Sure, you shouldn’t have reacted that way, but you’re not the only one to blame. We shouldn’t have kept things from you, or from Mom and Dad for that matter.” 
Johnny laughed. “Honestly? I’m pretty sure Mom called it from the beginning.” Elsie frowned. “What do you mean?” “You know when Matty came over to Jersey in the summer when you guys were about 20, and we all took that vacation on the beach?” She nodded. “There was one time when she saw you together, running into the ocean together. You were laughing as hard as I’ve ever seen you, Matthew was splashing water back at you, and you kept trying to tackle him into the waves. Mom, Dad, and I were back up on the beach. She just looked at you two, looked at me, and smiled.” 
Matthew rubbed his thumb over the back of Elsie’s hand. “You think she knew?” he asked curiously. 
Johnny nodded. “I think she knew even before you guys figured it out for yourselves.”
“How could she tell?” Elsie asked. 
Johnny gave a soft smile, looking over towards the couple. “You’ve never been a good liar, Elsie. And you can’t hide love.”
188 notes · View notes
mythiccheroacademia · 4 years ago
Text
Forgive Me
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Summary: It only seemed more prevalent, now more than ever, that people like him didn’t deserve people like you.
Word Count: 4.8k+ Words
Pairing: Natsuo x Reader (21+)
Warnings: blood, death, gang organization involvement, gun use, sexual content, explicit language, and angst
A/N: First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MAIN MAN NATSUO TODOROKI!! And I also want to say thank y’all so much for 2k followers! You make my heart ache. To celebrate, I wrote this self-indulgent mafia au fanfic that nobody asked for. I honestly just wanted to write Todorokis involved in organized crime. 
All the Japanese in here is from Google Translate. It most likely butchered it, so I’m sorry about that. I tried. 
Some things to mention: *Yakuza: Basically, the Japanese mafia  *Oyabun: The leader of the organization *Onna-Oyabun: The spouse of the leader. It really translates to the “wife.” I tried to keep things gender neutral, however, I couldn’t find a gender neutral term for this. Please forgive me!
Thank you for ridin with me, y’all! Enjoy this one, hotties ❤️   
Forgive Me
All Natsuo had ever wanted for you was normalcy. Call it wishful thinking—his siblings called it naivety. However, there was nothing more the young successor wished for than for you to have the life you deserved. One filled with love, laughter, and smiles. Not tears, blood, and bullets.
He wanted you to be able to come from work or class with a head full of things for the two of you to gossip about over dinner and ice cream. He wanted to be able to cancel his day and take you to that one amusement park you always talked about. He wanted the petty arguments about whose turn it was to do the dishes and whose brownie recipe was better.
Natsuo wanted that for you. Not this.
Your shared room suddenly felt cold and rigid as he stood by the doorway. The sight of your body curled into the sheets, hoping the mattress would swallow you up, made his heart ache. There was no movement except for the slow rise of your breathing as you stared at the wall next to the bed.
Natsuo’s grey eyes focused on the bandage patched to your ear and was brought back to the events prior. An event that had been the reason why he couldn’t have spent the evening in your arms.
[Earlier]
Since having been introduced into the Todoroki lifestyle, life had been hectic. You had been ripped away from your normalcy and propelled into the yakuza* game. It was seeped in cruelty, darkness, and evil that would make you spend nights shivering.
Ever since you had been engaged to Natsuo, your exposure only grew worse. Your fiancé would spend nights apologizing, but you’d only quiet him with a kiss and a small joke.
It wasn’t his fault. His older brother, Touya, was “deceased”. It was against tradition for Fuyumi to have it, and Shouto was too young. He would have to be the next Oyabun* and, despite his unwillingness, there was nothing anyone could do about it.
But that wasn’t something to dwell on. Especially today. Today, you had plans to go shopping with Fuyumi and Shouto and end the night with some well-deserved quality time with your husband-to-be. You had rarely seen anyone due to yakuza activity, so this was something you were looking forward to.
You smoothed down your outfit, adjusting your watch in the mirror. You gave yourself a nod, liking what you saw.
Natsuo came from around the corner, eyeing you with a glint you knew all too well. He apparently liked what he saw too.
“Hi,” he said, smiling into your kiss.
“Hey,” you grinned. You flattened the collar of his shirt where his tattoo peeked from his neck. “You look good.”
He was quick to respond. “You look better.”
“You flatter me,” you chuckled. “Did you pick where we’re eating for dinner later?”  
“I made reservations for the seafood restaurant you like so much. The one with the lights by the ocean.”
“Oooo with the parmesan crusted flounder and the stuffed oysters?”
He hummed a yes and laughed as you did a little dance expressing your excitement. You couldn’t wait to stuff your face. While being classy of course.
“What time?”
“6:30. Is that okay?”
“Yeah, that should give ‘Yumi, ShoSho, and I enough time to shop around.” You turned to the mirror to put some last-minute touches to your hair. “We still have to find an outfit for your mother’s event Friday. You know your brother’s a lowkey diva about that stuff so it’s gonna take hours.”
A sudden slap on your ass made you yelp and just as you were about to cuss him out, Natsuo captured your lips in a kiss that made your knees buckle. He slowly explored your mouth, committing every taste to memory. Your hands massaged the nape of his neck and it had him growling in your ear.
“Why don’t you skip the shopping today and we can start on dinner now?” he suggested, loving the moan he got from you as he sucked on your neck.
As much as you adored the offer, you weren’t going to pass up the chance to get out of the house. You’d been cooped up in there for too long. Not even his dick could get you out of this.
You pushed him off of you, laughing as he bit the air between you, trying to put his lips back on you.
“Nat—Natsuo. Stop it. I promised them I’d go shopping today, so no. Besides, I’m already running late. I was supposed to meet them at 1 and it’s 1:30.”
“But you just look so good, baby.” He managed to pull you flush against his chest, mischief in his eyes. You gave him a look when his hands went to go grab a handful of your ass. “I’m sure they won’t mind if you're just an hour more late,” he said, going back to lay claim to your lips.
If last night’s sex was a testament to anything, you’d be here for much longer than an hour. If you didn’t get your ass to the car, you’d be stuck at home and his siblings would have your head.
“Boy, if you don’t get off me, I’ll tell Fuyumi you’re keeping me hostage again. She’ll sick Shouto on you,” you threatened.
At the thought of his sister and brother’s nagging, he rolled his eyes and backed off. “Ugh, you’re such a killjoy. Fine, whatever.” You hummed in triumph and turned to walk away. Natsuo gave another hard slap to your backside again and you sent him back a glare that made him smirk.
“Natsu,” you warned.
“You better get in the car quick before I really decide to keep you here.”
“Keep it in your pants, horndog,” you bit.
“Keep that ass away and we won’t have problems,” he playfully retorted.
You smacked your teeth but hid the growing smile on your lips. That man would be the death of you.
Despite your wishes, you ended up being an hour late. Natsuo tried to play innocent underneath his siblings’ threats but stopped the act once they pointed out the growing hickey on your neck.
He was waved off, much to his chagrin, when he told the three of you to be wary of your surroundings and reminded you of the security guards that would be following close by. He finally left for his meeting with few choice words and a kiss promising his return.
Fuyumi grabbed your arm and gave you a smile that was contagious. “Now that Natsu stopped hogging you, we can finally hang out!” she cheered. “The outlet just opened up a few new stores we’ve been eyeing for a while now!”
Shouto nodded in agreement. “I’ve been waiting all week to use my father’s credit card.”
“Didn’t you buy a fur coat yesterday—”
“That’s besides the point.”
Once Shouto took your other arm, the three of you spent your time going from store to store. At first, the objective was to find outfits for the party Friday, however you three had become easily distracted with the sight of a smoothie stand.
A couple hours had gone by, and not much was done. Although you might have wasted time (and money) shopping at miscellaneous stores, neither one of you cared.
It had been so long since you laughed so freely. With Endeavor across the ocean, things were steadily heating up. Enemies took his leave as an open shot and the Todoroki siblings were obliged to reinforce why their family reigned supreme. Due to that, it seemed no one could go a day without stressing over something.
Between that and Natsuo’s near-obsessive mission to keep you safe and away from the details of the yakuza, you were forced to stay in the house twiddling your thumbs with constant security around you.
Feeling so useless drove you crazy. No matter how many times you tried to get your fiancé to let you help, he would always give you a firm no. Fuyumi and Shouto tried their best to keep you out of it as well. Even Dabi warned you about wanting something so dangerous.  
It was frustrating, but you tried to understand. Regardless, having the chance to hang out with your friends like old times was a saving grace and you’d enjoy it to its fullest.
Eventually, you three made it to the boutiques and clothing departments. Shouto had already gotten a suit tailored so it was left with you and Fuyumi.
Your soon-to-be sister-in-law found an extravagant gown that stole your breath. The crimson dress hugged her body in all the right places, accentuating the softness of her feminine figure and the coolness of her kind eyes. It was beautifully bold statement speaking to the fire within Fuyumi many seemed to miss. But no one would overlook that spirit with a dress like that. Her measurements were taken, and the dress was quickly swiped off the rack and sent to the tailor.
Your clothing didn’t come easy. Fuyumi was indecisive and Shouto was a harsh critic.
“Hmm, that one’s too much.”
“Nope, not enough.”
“Too loose.”
“Too tight.”
“No.”
“Hell no.”
“I’m pretty sure someone from the Nanu family wore that in 2016. Next.”
It had taken nearly an entire hour before the three of you found your outfit. Something that had caught your eye was soon being shimmied over your body. When you stepped out of the dressing room, you were relieved when Fuyumi nearly cried and Shouto’s bi-colored eyes twinkled with satisfaction. The material was comfortable on your body and the pigment made your skin color brilliantly glow. It moved and swayed like it was meant for you. It just felt right.
“That’s the one,” Shouto smiled.
“You think so?” you asked, checking over the detailing.
“You’re going to steal the show, as always, Y/N,” Fuyumi gushed. “The most beautiful Onna-Oyabun* the yakuza have seen this generation.”
At the mention of the word, you casted your eyes downward. “Right. I’m going to be the new Onna-Oyabun,” you sighed.
The two Todorokis caught the heaviness of your tone and looked at one another in sadness. They were privy to the burdens of this family and the titles that came along with it. Your reaction wasn’t abnormal, but the despondent gleam in your eyes was still hard to sit with.
“Y/N—”
The sound of Shouto’s phone cut off his words. As he listened to the quiet words from the other line, his eyes began to harden. The store clerk kept you busy, but Fuyumi noticed his sudden rigidness.
Her brother’s eyes flicked towards the door and she caught the sight of more their bodyguards surrounding the boutique, hands on their weapons.
There were a few more words said before Shouto spoke.
“Anata wa mōru o torikakonde imasu. Natsuo wa 5-bu de soto de aimasu.” (Keep the mall surrounded. Natsuo will meet us outside in five minutes.)
Fuyumi met her brother’s eyes once more and understood the situation.
“So, the seamstress said she’ll tighten around the waist and add more fabric to the end. It’ll be ready by tomorrow evening,” you said to them.
Shouto excused himself while Fuyumi walked towards you, a practiced smile on her lips.
“Perfect. Now let’s get you changed and out for your date. Natsuo will be here any minute.”
The car ride to the restaurant was filled with your rambling about the day and Natsuo’s usual teasing. When he got into the car after speaking with his siblings, he seemed very tense. So you were happy you were able to get him to relax. Work must’ve put him on edge, and you were determined to let the rest of your night come stress free.
When you got there, he helped you out of the car and you made your way to the door. You were surprised to see who was standing by the entrance.
“Dabi?”
“Hey there, doll,” he said behind an easy smirk. He kissed the back of your hand. “Still see you’re with this punk. Tragic.”
You tried to hide your giggle as Natsuo punched his brother’s shoulder.
“Back off, brick-face. Lookin’ like a burnt raisin.”
“You wound me,” Dabi faux gasped.
“What are you doing here?” you asked.
Although Dabi kept his eyes on you, he felt his brother’s stare on his face.
“Just doing some patrol. Heard you were coming around and couldn’t pass up the opportunity to say hi to my new favorite Todoroki,” he responded coolly.
You quirked your brow at that. “Did something happen?”
Dabi opened the door. “Nah, nothing you need to worry about. You just enjoy your dinner for me, yeah?”
Before you could say anything more, you felt the man behind you place his hand on your lower back and guide you into the restaurant. You didn’t miss the order he hissed to his brother before closing the door behind him.
You had to learn Japanese one of these days, damn it.
As you stood in line to be seated, you eyed your fiancé.
“I know something’s going on,” you spoke.
Natsuo didn’t even flinch. “What do you mean?”
“Why’s Dabi here?”
“You heard what he said. For patrol.”
“Patrol for what? He doesn’t just police the area for no reason.”
“It was just on some small case we’ve been working on. No biggie,” he shrugged.
You frowned at his play of innocence. You were getting kind of tired of this. “You know how much I hate being kept in the dark…”
“It’s nothing you have to concern yourself with, babe. I’ve got it handled.”
“Natsuo—”
“Y/N, please.”
You watched his shoulders sag a bit from the heavy sigh that left his mouth. If you hadn’t been watching, you would’ve missed the fatigue that flashed across his face. To see someone usually so upbeat look so tired made your chest ache.
You knew you were being pushy, but all the secrets were piling up and your curiosity was starting to become insatiable.
“I…I just want to help,” you softly admitted. “I don’t mean to be annoying.”
“You’re not being annoying,” he answered in a heartbeat. Natsuo pulled you close and kissed your temple, feeling comforted by your smell. “I know all these secrets drive you crazy, but I’m trying to protect you.”
You placed a hand on his cheek to which he placed a kiss to your palm. “And I want to lessen your burden. We’re in this together, baby. You don’t have to handle all of this alone anymore.”
“I know, sweetheart,” he whispered. He stared into your eyes for a moment before gently smiling down at your hopeful gaze. “How ‘bout this? We forget about all this yakuza stuff whiles we’re here, and as soon as we get home, I’ll fill you in on my meeting today. Sound fair?”
It wasn’t exactly what you wanted, but it was a step in the right direction. Besides, you could see how eager he was to forget about the topic. The focus of this night was about having fun, so you would drop it for now.
You pecked his lips and nodded in agreement. “Deal.”
“Bet.”
The hostess met you two just as you pulled away from one another. She led you to your table where you had a clear view of the beach behind the crystal glass. Your waitress, an older woman with a smile that felt safe, got you settled in.
“My name is Jane and I’ll be serving you today. May I get your drinks?”
Natsuo looked to you. “Wine?”
You made a thoughtful face. “Yeah. Sure. Something on the sweeter side.”
“Bring us Moet Chandon Dom Perignon. 2008.”
“Yes, sir,” she bowed before going to retrieve the drinks.
You frowned in confusion, the bran unknown to you. That was before your eyes scanned over the wine listing. You choked on your spit.
That bottle could pay rent.
Rich people were crazy.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, sorry. Something in my throat,” you coughed.
After the waitress brought your drinks and you placed your orders (you both ordered enough for eight but what’s new?), you and Natsuo spent your time talking and laughing.
It was like old times. He was the jokester, throwing out horrible pick-up lines with a terrible pun to match. You’d tease him, snickering when he’d whine about how sensitive he was.
You missed this. A lot.
Your previous grievances left your mind. Like he said, for now, you’d forget about the yakuza. The carefree smile on your fiancé’s face, the one that reminded of you of just how young he really was, was beautiful. He was only 23 and dealing with so much. You wanted this expression of freedom to remain for as long as possible.
“The ‘Saw’ series wasn’t even that scary. It was just really gross,” you said.
“Fair. But the one with the teeth was kinda scary. Saw 3 I think? I couldn’t sleep for like, five days,” Natsuo shivered.
“Okay, yeah. That one was…ew,” you agreed. “But remember ‘The Human Centipede’? Now that was some creepy shit. I couldn’t eat cereal for a month.”
Natsuo visibly paled, sticking his tongue out in disgust. “Nah for real, bro. I’ll never watch that shit again. I feel like it was some big, grotesque, sexual innuendo.”
You gave him a flat look.
“What the fuck, Natsu.”
“No, listen! Remember the part where they took the hammer and—"
“Your food, Mr. Todoroki and Mr/s. L/N,” Jane interrupted. A questioning look flashed across her face but you two just stifled your laughs.
The other waiters laughed as they stood behind her with the food in their hands.
You were eyeing the hell out of those oysters.
“Here we have the lobster bisque, the shrimp tacos, the stuffed oysters—”
“I’ll take that one, please!” you excitedly clapped.
“Excellent choice.”
“And you say I’m a child,” Natsuo snorted.
You threw a glare his way. “Little boy, if you don’t—”
And just as your day had been filled with laughter, the sound of one bullet tore through that illusion.
It was as if the world had stilled for a moment. Then, there was screaming and the onslaught of gunpower. There were so many men in dignified suits running in and out of the restaurant. You hadn’t even blinked before two waiters dropped to the ground, piled beneath the food they were holding.
Two shots rang near your table, and you felt a string of fresh blood paint the sides of your face and a burning sensation on your left ear. Two hands held the table and the back of your chair, body a shield from the bullets.
You slowly looked up and saw Jane’s bright blue eyes wide with surprise. There was a moment of silence as her bottom lip wavered, wanting to say something.
However, her last breath slipped through her lips as you watched the life dull in her cerulean irises.
That bullet was meant for you. That bullet was meant to kill you and instead…instead…
When she fell onto you, dead, that’s when you screamed.
At some point, Natsuo had gotten you into his arms. His body was ice cold as he used his quirk to protect you and carry you out. He was shouting orders and curses while trying to coax you out of your numbness. However, you couldn’t hear anything.
The stench of blood was strong. You saw how the bodies of innocent men, women, and children laid piled on the floor. They bled out; their lives taken from them before they even had the chance to think about it.
You closed your eyes when you saw blue and red flames lick the ground. You had seen enough.
Somehow, you had gotten outside and away from the warzone. Natsuo carried you into the car.
“Doraibu!” he thundered. (Drive!)
The driver took off with speed that made our backs hit the seats. Once he hit the main streets, miles away from the scene, Natsuo took his hand off the gun and quelled his quirk.
His phone lit up and it wasn’t long before he blew up at whoever was on the other end. You don’t think you’ve ever heard him use a tone so mean and angry. He roared into the phone, his words foreign to your ears. However, you couldn’t concentrate on that.
The shock of what just occurred struck your body numb. The ringing in your ears hadn’t stopped since the first bullet. You could still smell the blood and the bodies. Jane’s lifeless eyes would haunt you forever.
The same bullet that tore into her heart was meant for you. Whoever shot that, was aiming to kill. Kill you. But instead, Jane had taken that place. For what reason, you didn’t know. But she did.  
You didn’t know which one was worse.
Bile rose in the back of your throat and you let out a shaky breath.
You could do nothing else but hold your head.
Natsuo had gotten off the phone and looked over at you in silence. His grey eyes stormed with pain from the way your shoulders hunched over in grief.
He reached for you. “Y/N, sweetheart—”
You flinched away as his fingertips ghosted your skin.
“Don’t fucking touch me,” you seethed.
He quickly withdrew his hands.
“Are…are you okay?” he slowly spoke.
The glare you gave him made him avert his eyes in anguish.
“Am I okay? You’re asking me if I’m okay!?”
“I just want to make sure you’re not hurt,” he thickly swallowed.
“Are you serious, Natsuo!? I just saw twenty people die in front of me and you’re asking if I’m okay!??”
Guilt drowned him, but you just couldn’t seem to care at the moment as rage took over your body.
“I asked you to tell me what was going on. I’ve been fucking begging you to keep me up to date so I can just be prepared for when things like this happen!”
“I know.”
“If I had just known someone was trying to take me out, I would’ve stayed the fuck home, but you wouldn’t tell me and now there’s people DEAD!!”
“I know. I’m sorry, Y/N.”
“Fuck your sorry!” you roared. “Fuck you, Natsuo! Sorry won’t bring those people back!”
Your voice was beginning to grow hoarse but screaming felt good. It was the only thing that felt real even as it took you to hysteria.
“I know those bullets were meant for me! They wanted to—to—oh my God!” Your breathig grew erratic as it all dawned on you. “I’m supposed to be dead! They wanted to kill me! I can’t! I can’t do this!”
Natsuo felt his heart break with every sob that ripped from your mouth. He wanted so badly to hold you and take you away from all of this. However, he knew better.
For the entire car ride and throughout the time it took for the nurses to patch you up, you hadn’t allowed him to touch you. You even ignored him until he was forced to leave you to rest.
When he told you he loved you, it hurt like hell to see you wordlessly disappear behind the bedroom door. That pain was what later fueled him back to the scene of the crime and into doing things to the captured enemies he would never utter to anyone that wasn’t there.
Fuyumi and Shouto couldn’t look him in his eyes for the rest of the day. It was Dabi, as heartless as he was, that told him it was enough.
He would give anything to give you what you deserved, a life without pain and death. But that’s not how it worked. Not in this life.
He knew that, yet, he had been selfish and took you for himself. Now, this was the result. Your life in unremitting danger because of who he was.
The agonized screams of dry ice burning away flesh constantly played in his head. It only seemed more prevalent, now more than ever, that people like him didn’t deserve people like you.  
[Present]
Natsuo’s heavy stare caused you to shift. As he changed into pajamas, you looked at the clock. It was 2am.
You hadn’t realized it was so late.
You felt a heavy dip in the bed and watched your fiancé carefully settle into the sheets. His face was clean of blood and dirt, so he must've showered before coming back home.
A pregnant pause filtered between you two. As you continued to stare at one another, you could see his façade slip with each passing second. The blank front he was so skilled at putting up melted as his eyes continued to pass over the bandages. His eyes sunk and the skin around them was dark with wear. He looked exhausted.
The anger that had once bristled inside of you had given way to melancholy a long time ago. You felt so empty and lonely with the dark thoughts that circled in your head. Sleep wasn’t an option if you wanted to avoid the nightmares that would plague you.
The two of you scooted closer to one another. Natsuo was the first to speak. He spoke in a voice so small, you almost missed it.
“Can I touch you?”
“Please,” you whispered.
Soon enough, you were in his arms, chin on his shoulder as he peppered the junction between your neck and collarbone with kisses. You relished in his hands exploring your body, missing how he just seemed to swallow you up.
“I love you, Y/N,” he breathed.
“I love you too, Natsuo.”
Much of the night was spent reminding yourselves of the other’s touch. Natsuo drew your lips captive, his tongue overtaking you with dizzying pleasure. You couldn’t keep track of where his mouth was. Whether it was on your lips, on your stomach, or in between your legs, you savored how good it felt.
Soon, his low growls and moans were hot against your ears. Your nails ran down Natsuo’s back as his hips swam into you, taking his time to rememorize how you felt around him. The bed creaked along with your moans. You threw your head back and gripped whatever you could hold of him during your lovemaking.
It seemed you’d reach your high over and over again. You could never get enough of each other. There was something intoxicating about how his tongue would roll over yours as he pounded into you, staking claim over your body as he gave himself to you until he couldn’t.
When your bodies couldn’t go any longer, you just lied underneath the sheets. Natsuo lied on top of you, head on your chest and listened to your heartbeat. You pushed back his sweaty bangs, staring down at him.  
You hadn’t even realized you were crying until his thumbs went to swipe past your cheeks.
“Damn it,” you hiccupped.
Natsuo let his vulnerability slip. “I know they’re just words, but I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he said. His voice cracked and it was your turn to catch the tears that fell from his eyes.
“I know. I’m sorry too.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.”
“No, I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I was just…”
“Just what?”
A fresh wave of images from today filled the forefront of your mind. Those pictures did something to you. A switch was flicked.  
Your voice caught in your throat and your eyes pinched as more tears filled them. However, these were not tears of fright, rather tears of animosity. The anger you thought had left you had turned into something worse. Something much darker.  
Natsuo saw that look many times before in his own reflection. Vengeance. Pure, unadulterated, vengeance. And as much as he hated it, it was the gas that incited his own flame.  
“Natsuo,” you spoke like you were about to tell a secret. You slowly swallowed the ball in your throat.
“What is it, baby? Tell me what it is you want.”
The words that left your mouth felt different, but you would never regret them.
“Whoever it was, whoever was behind this, I want them gone,” you instructed, voice stone cold. “For every child lost, I want ten of their heads. For all our men they took, I want their bodies burned. For the life they took from Jane, I want their blood on the street. Today, they took their stance when they tried to kill me.”
You held his face and fell into his gaze with hard eyes. In those grey irises, you saw a man that would stand against an army for you. It gave you the courage to say your order.
“And for that, I want the entire yakuza dead.”  
The glint in his eye matched your own and you knew there was no turning back. Natsuo nodded without a second thought. There was nothing to think about. He’d give you the entire world or burn it down at the flick of your hand.
“Yes, my Onna-Oyabun. Your wish is my command.”
He sealed the deal with a kiss.
“This is war.”
347 notes · View notes
stxrrywildflower · 5 years ago
Text
newlyweds (2)
pairing - spencer reid x reader
summary - you and spencer have to pose as a newly married couple for a case
warning - stalking, cursing, mentions of case
word count - ?
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that night, you and spencer turned in around midnight. both of you had lost time watching a random movie on tv. there had been a lot of cuddling, directly due to the kiss that had occurred just hours before.
you got changed into shorts and one of your oversized t-shirts before brushing your teeth. you stepped out of the bathroom and looked toward the bed. spencer was already under the covers with his back pressed against the headboard while he read a book. upon further inspection, you noticed it was some informational book regarding criminal behavior. you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes.
“come on spencer,” you spoke as you got into bed beside him. he turned to you, a confused expression on his face. “read something normal for a change,” you started before moving closer to him so you could whisper, “we can’t be suspicious. besides, this is practically a vacation for us so let’s enjoy it and not read books that deal with our job.”
“and, i already took my melatonin and i am starting to feel drowsy,” you added.
with that, spencer closed his book, not before marking his page, and slipped it into the bedside drawer. he then shut the light off on the table, leaving a nightlight to cancel out some of the darkness. finally, he eased into bed beside you, laying on his back and opening up his arms. you, on the other hand, layed on your side with your head on his chest. his arm moves around your waist as you shut your eyes.
“goodnight,” you mumbled as you shut your eyes.
“goodnight,” spencer responded, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.
the next morning, you woke up to an empty bed. you first rolled over and looked at the time; 9:34 it read. that was pretty late for you. and judging by your surroundings, spencer couldn’t have gotten out of bed more than ten minutes ago
you slowly creeped down the stairs of the still unfamiliar house and made your way to the kitchen upon smelling coffee.
“morning,” you greeted spencer as you kissed his cheek softly and took a seat at the island. spencer, in turn, placed a mug of coffee in front of you as well as a plate of toast. as you picked up the mug, you heard your rings clink making your smile slightly.
“so what’s the plan for today?” you asked.
spencer moved so he was leaning against the counter across form you. “well i was thinking we could do a little unpacking,” he started, saying the first part with a wink, “and then maybe go swimming. you mentioned that yesterday.” you nodded, “sounds perfect.”
after breakfast, you went upstairs, grabbing your swimsuit and heading into the bathroom to get changed. once changed, you stepped out of the bathroom and walked down the hallway. spencer was still changing so you figured he would meet you outside.
the warm sun met you as you slid open the sliding glass door and stepped out onto the patio. you quickly applied sunscreen before jumping into the pool. spencer came outside just as you went full under. you swam to the surface, pushing your hair out of your face as you smiled at up the genius.
you tried to not make it obvious that you were standing at spencer but it was pretty difficult. he was still incredibly skinny but had very visible abs and muscles.
“should i do a backflip?” spencer’s voice brought you out of your thoughts.
“what?” you asked. spencer smirked slightly. before you could even react, he had took of running and doing a backflip into the pool. you grinned at his actions. just like you, spencer emerged at the surface and fixed his hair with a wide smile on his face.
for the next hour or so, the two of you swam and relaxed in the pool. towards the end, you had stood close to spencer with your arms around his neck and his hands on your waist. it had been a pretty sweet moment until, without warning, spencer had dunked you under the water.
you gasped once you appeared out of the water before tackling spencer. that went on for a few moments before he had finally held you close. spencer felt you tense up. “what’s wrong?” he asked, voice low.
“i feel like someone is watching us,” you whispered back. it was probably just your profiler senses kicking in but you still felt uneasy. regardless, there was nothing you could do.
so, spencer and you got out of the pool, heading over to the poolside cabana area with a sofa bed under it. “man this house is really nice,” you commented as you grabbed a towel. after drying off, spencer layed on the bed. you followed suit, laying on your stomach with your leg across his.
you were pretty close to falling sleep until spencer’s phone rang. “hello?” he started, “yeah she’s next to me.” you sat up, visible confusion on your face. spencer didn’t say anything for a few moments before he removed the phone from his ear and ended the call. “unsubs a couple,” he whispered, careful if anyone was listening. you groaned and leaned your head back against one of the pillows. now you two both had another person to worry about.
____
you and spencer continued to live in the house for the next week. in the limited contact you had with the team, there had been no more murders and no leads. everyday, you’re routine was pretty much the same. one day, however, the two of you had gone into the city and spent the day there. you had almost forgotten that you were potentially being stalked by two killers.
both of you had even met your ‘neighbors’. on the left was a young woman who was just starting her life out of college. she was incredibly sweet. on the right was an older couple who had been married for almost ten years. they had suggested having dinner one night. to avoid suspicion, you had invited them over the following evening.
however, both you and spencer expressed your uneasiness about them.
spencer had called morgan, prentending to be his brother, and gave him a heads up about what was occurring. in turn, you got the instructions to signal to the camera if your suspicions were true. the two of you also planned a code word just in case. it sounded extreme, but you couldn’t have the fbi storming into your house without cause.
that evening, you had changed into more formal wear as did spencer. he went downstairs to cook dinner while you waited to greet your neighbors. when the doorbell rang, you waited a moment before opening the door, a slightly fake smile on your face.
you ushered the couple into the house. “welcome! spencer is in the kitchen cooking dinner. i can get you something to drink and you can sit in the dining room,” you suggested. in the split moment it took the couple in front of you to think about what they would want, you noticed the woman walking with a cane as well as the outline of what looked like some form of a gun in the mans pocket. both were signatures of the murders.
here you were, standing in your foyer with two killers.
“i’ll have a glass of red wine if possible,” the woman started, turning to her husband. “just water please.” you then ushered them into the dining room before turning towards the chandelier. you held your hands up in the shape of a ‘w’ which let your team know that it was them. after that, you went into the kitchen.
spencer was still cooking over the stove. you grabbed a two glasses, filling one with water and the other with wine. you felt eyes burning into the back of your skull. you wrapped your arm around spencer, leaning into him as you made it look like you were talking about dinner.
“it’s them, already signaled the team,” you spoke, voice barely above a whisper.
“dinner should be ready soon,” he responded, going along with the act.
you returned to the dining room, a smile plastered on your face as you distributed the drinks. “so what do you two do for a living?” the woman asked, taking a sip of her drink. “i start at the law firm downtown next week and spencer will be a professor at the local university. we’re both trying to adjust to the city first,” you responded.
a slightly awkward silence filled the room. you heard the familiar sound of a gun lock switching and you held back your urge to smirk. the stove in the kitchen turned off. spencer must have heard it too.
“so you’re the ones who have been killing the couples,” you spoke, placing your elbows on the table and resting your chin on your hands.
in an instant, the man pulled the gun out of his pocket and pointed it right at your temple. much to their suprise, you didn’t even flinch.
“you really fucked up man,” spencer called from behind you.
the man leaned forward and jabbed the gun into your temple. a slight feeling of fear flowed through you but it didn’t reach your face. “why?” was all you asked.
“they have everything we didn’t. it’s not fair. it was only time before they died. they were practically asking for it,” the woman growled.
when the mans movements waivered, you managed to reach up and in one swift movement, you disarmed him. suddenly, the doors to the house swung open. your team rushed in, all guns pointed to the couple. you handed morgan the gun before going into the kitchen.
“kinda happy that’s over,” you spoke to spencer.
he nodded, agreeing with your words. “agreed. it was nice but i don’t think i like living in a home only so we’re targeting by a murder,” he responded. you smiled slightly and leaned against the counter, just in time to see the two being escorted out of the house.
hotch and emily entered the kitchen. “you two should start to pack up. food will be taken care of so just pack your personal clothes. we leave in the morning,” hotch informed you before exiting the kitchen. emily shot your a knowing smile before following hotch out.
spencer grabbed your hand before pulling you towards the stairs. you playfully rolled your eyes and followed him up.
____
on the plane home, you and spencer took two of the seats in the group of four while j.j. and morgan took the other. emily and rossi were on the couch while hotch was in one of the single seats.
“so that case,” j.j. spoke up, a slightly suggestive tone in her voice.
you could feel the blush rising in your cheek. as a reaction, you hid your head in spencer’s shoulder. “aw look she’s blushing!” morgan called, making you blush further.
laughter echoed throughout the jet. “all joking aside, we’re really happy for you,” emily added. spencer and you smiled at that, his hand moving to interlock with yours.
this case had gone a lot better than expected.
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birbleafs · 4 years ago
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[fic] A Tragicomedy In Five Acts
Series: Saiki Kusuo no Ψ-nan || The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. Rating: T Genre: Friendship, Humour, Breaking the Fourth Wall Character(s): Akechi Touma, Saiki Kusuo, Saiki Kurumi, Saiki Kuniharu, Saiki Kuusuke Warnings: None, save for the canon-typical shenanigans Summary: Akechi has made a habit of showing up unannounced, uninvited at the Saiki residence. The inevitable "bonding" occurs and Kusuo despairs; the world continues to turn. A/N: A piece I wrote for the Disastrous Life Zine, a charity zine. I wanted to share the uncut version here since I like how it reads more (it's not too different from zine version, though). Leftover sales are currently still live, so here's your last chance to grab some limited items if you had missed the pre-orders earlier! Thanks to the mods & other contributors over at @disastrouslifezine, for all their hard work on this project. Many thanks also to my bro Digi for the awesome beta work and for always being an all-round great pal ❤ Fic can also be read AO3. _______ i. It’s a problem Saiki Kusuo should have—could have—nipped earlier in the bud, when he’d been forced to spend a whole Sunday with Akechi Touma betting on horse-racing. But between Akechi being (begrudgingly) accepted as one of the PK Psychickers to Kusuo having to stop a meteor from slamming into the planet—well, a lot had happened. Akechi had since taken to visiting the Saiki residence at random, with little notice in advance. On his second visit, Mom had invited him in before Kusuo could intervene. If it weren’t for the cupcakes Akechi had brought along—not to mention the terrifying heat of Mom’s demonic glare at the first sign of a protest—Kusuo would have teleported him miles away without hesitation. That’s how Kusuo finds himself now—glowering at Akechi who’s sitting politely in his room and firing a running commentary about nothing and too many things all at once. Resigned, he leans back into his study chair and asks, point-blank: What do you want, Akechi?
“Your mother is lovely as always,” Akechi replies instead, dancing around the question. “I’m grateful she’s gone from remembering me as ‘Pee Boy’ to ‘Kusuo’s Friend Who Only Ever Wets His Pants Occasionally’. Surely that’s a sign we have gotten closer.” It sounds just as terrible as the first—only a simpleton would be okay with that as a defining trait, Kusuo retorts. In any case, we’re hardly more than classmates. So, why are you here again? “I thought you would have realized it by now with your telepathy. But I suppose I can explain it for the sake of the readers!” Akechi beams, holding up a small case in his hand. Don’t just casually break the fourth wall, Kusuo frowns, even as he leans forward for a closer look. Akechi pops the case open and turns towards the game console. “I was recently gifted this game by my cousin, who assured me that, while underrated, it’s still a cult hit among fans. I thought it would be fun to play it together.” Kusuo stares flatly at the title OVERWORKED displayed on the disc as it slides into the console drive, already unimpressed. That is such a blatant rip-off. “Oh, no, it's a completely different game from the one you’re thinking of!” Akechi says. “Here you play as the overworked waiter of a cafe who serves multiple orders at once and takes over the cooking whenever the head chef throws a tantrum and storms right off.” How is that different from OVERC***ED? It is totally OVERC***ED! “Regardless, shall we have a play-off?” Akechi offers the controller to him. “Winner gets this box of cupcakes. I got them from the best pâtisserie in town, which is no easy feat. Why just this morning I left home at the crack of dawn to secure a spot in the queue, and even then, there were already about 30-odd people ahead of me! Who knew it was so popular—A-ah!” Kusuo yanks the controller easily from Akechi’s hand towards him with telekinesis, a glint of determination in his eyes now. Best two out of three levels. Loser also has to leave immediately. Akechi grins knowingly and cracks his knuckles, reaching for the second controller. “You’re quick to assume victory, Kusuo-kun. Very well, then!” Thirty-seven minutes later and Kusuo’s left staring at the final scores, appalled. He would have won if his character hadn’t kept freezing in place and glitching at crucial moments, messing up in the kitchens and sending out wrong orders. How is he always losing to Akechi like this? Clearly the universe is still conspiring against him. “You were so close to beefing my lask score dhoo,” Akechi says shamelessly through a mouthful of strawberry frosting. “And my, deez fupfakes are s’per dhasty!” Are you taunting me now? Kusuo scowls enviously at the cupcake in Akechi’s hand before he huffs, slinking back into his chair. Well, I’ll be staring dejectedly out my window for a bit, so feel free to eat your cupcakes and then leave. But Akechi only laughs then and, to Kusuo’s surprise, moves to place a chocolate cupcake before him. “You’re so melodramatic, Kusuo-kun. I never said the winner can’t share.” ... I guess you didn’t. They spend the rest of the afternoon eating cupcakes. _______ ii. This again? It’s been a month, but Kusuo already feels a sense of gloom settling over him when Akechi steps into the genkan. He would have been fine with leaving Akechi outside blathering away through closed doors for the entire day while he pretended not to be home, but obviously Mom is having none of that. “I’m so glad you’ve been coming over to play with Ku-chan!” she greets cheerfully. “I couldn’t believe it when I first heard, but you and Kusuo are getting along well, huh, Akechi-kun!” Dad says with a sagely nod, looking every bit the part of the morally upright, reliable father. Bold of you to believe such delusional notions of camaraderie, or that you even look the part of an admirable adult, Kusuo comments drily, before turning to leave. “We don’t just get along,” Akechi chimes in reply. “You could even say our friendship is super-califragilisticexpialidocious!” GET OUT. If looks could kill, Kusuo’s current expression is pure genocide. But his parents are already fawning and AH-HYUU-!!-ing at Akechi’s words, tears of joy gushing down their cheeks like an endless waterfall. Kusuo watches in quiet despair as Akechi is readily accepted into their fold with welcomed embraces, a key development in this romantic soap opera. Oi, what’s with the misleading narrative?! We’re not in that kind of fanfic right now! Dad and Akechi hit it off well enough, one thing leads to another, and Kusuo suddenly finds himself roped into playing MECH-O ARENA VR on the WAB station in Dad’s study. Seriously, stop it with the terrible rip-offs of actual games already, Kusuo frowns as he watches Dad’s and Akechi’s characters flitting about on the screen to fight off an incoming attack. “I suppose it’s not very original, is it?” Akechi says, punching the controller buttons in a flurry of movements. “But it’s different enough that we can probably avoid any unwanted copyright lawsuits.” That’s completely beside the point. Dad’s wholly immersed with the game now, so it’s impossible for Kusuo to get rid of Akechi without Dad throwing a childish fuss about losing his new gaming buddy. Not to mention Mom’s uncanny ability to appear with coffee and snacks each time Kusuo had tried to inconspicuously retreat back into his room, all while exuding an ominous aura that effectively dissuaded his need to leave immediately. Good grief—everyone’s being such a pain today, Kusuo sighs, before he finally relents to Mom’s cajoling to team up with her against Dad and Akechi in the final round. He figures it can’t get worse than this anyway. That is, until Kuusuke gets involved. _______ iii. When Kusuo returns home from a quick grocery trip for Mom, he walks into a surprisingly empty living room. He can hear Dad and Kuusuke’s voices from upstairs but for some reason he’s not quite able to perceive the atmosphere within—it’s as if his senses are partially blocked by a cognitive fog with the study engulfed in a dead zone. Must be that prototype “router” Kuusuke had installed in Dad’s study yesterday. Kusuo has zero interest in his brother’s tiresome antics, but is compelled nonetheless to check on them, if only to ensure Kuusuke isn’t playing Mad Scientist and coaxing Dad into yet another deranged human project. He opens the door, nearly lashes out in shock with telekinesis when he sees Akechi staring through the doorway with a creepy, owlish expression. “Oh, were you actually surprised, Kusuo-kun?” Akechi says. “My apologies for frightening you like that.” Kusuo studies the room cautiously, only to realize he’s unable to hear anyone’s thoughts with telepathy. He glares at his brother in suspicion. “Welcome back, little brother!” Kuusuke greets him with a Cheshire grin. “I see you’ve got yourself a new playmate. Hmm? Ah, you must think it strange that I've taken to Akechi-kun so readily.” Strange and highly dubious, Kusuo counters. What are you scheming? “Well, Akechi-kun shows the most potential and capacity for mental growth amongst the lesser primates close to you—” What a disparaging worldview. And stop deflecting! I know you can still understand me. “—So, he may yet make a good test subj—Ah, I mean, a good friend! Interesting specimens tend to gravitate towards you, after all. Though his propensity for peeing sure is troubling, isn’t it? Haha!” You can excuse questionable human experimentations, but you draw the line at incontinence? Kuusuke attempts a nonchalant shrug. “Priorities, amirite?” “But this is amazing, Kuusuke-san,” Akechi says, glancing up in awe at the blinking device on the ceiling. “The telepathy canceller really does block our thoughts efficiently!” “It’s child's play compared to Kusuo’s abilities,” Kuusuke says, seemingly modest, but Kusuo doesn’t miss the devious glint in his eyes when he reaches into his coat pocket to pull out what looks suspiciously like a detonator with a giant red button. “Still, with this, Operation SM☆SH can now finally commence—” Wait, Operation what?? Kuusuke, don’t you dare...! But Kuusuke is already pressing the button, and the study is plunged into darkness as the lights flicker off and the blinds draw shut. Alarmed, Kusuo wrenches the detonator away from Kuusuke’s grip with his telekinesis. What did you just do?! There’s an electronic whirr, a blinding flash, and Kusuo finds himself suddenly staring at a large LCD screen as it emerges from the ceiling. Music blares from overhead speakers as a cinematic opening sequence begins to play. “There you are, Kusuo!” Dad looks up from behind the coffee table where he’d been fiddling with the game console. He adjusts the VR headset over his eyes. “It’s time to finally beat you at SUPER SM☆SH BUDS as payback for last time! HII-YAAAH!!” ... Oh. So it’s just another game. “That’s right!” Kuusuke claps his hands together, blissfully ignoring the heat of Kusuo’s baleful glare. “I heard about your horse-racing bet from Akechi-kun and found this as the best way to even the odds for other types of games.” “The idea came to me while peeing in the shower; to find ways you could play and not get bored easily, Kusuo-kun,” Akechi adds in unnecessary detail. “But I didn’t think Kuusuke-san could actually pull it off.” “Here, Kusuo,” Dad says, waving his controller. “Come choose your character—” But Kusuo’s already teleporting away, fleeing the wretched upheaval within his own home to hide at Cafe Mami for the rest of the day. _______ iv. Akechi corners him after school three weeks later. Kusuo is surprised and unsurprised all at once; he had worn the germanium ring to class, after all, in a bid to avoid spoilers for the direct-to-streaming release movie adaptation of a book he’d been fond of. It’s easy to ignore everyone’s spoilery chatter when it isn’t droning directly into his mind—he’d kept his fingers stuck into  his ears each time class ended, oblivious to the strange looks thrown his way, and had even hidden away in the restroom cubicle during breaks, successfully avoiding any interaction with the usual human nuisances. Until now, that is. “Let’s walk home together, Kusuo-kun!” Akechi calls, jogging after him. I’m suddenly deaf and sound has eluded me, Kusuo deadpans as he breaks into a sprint, determined to leave before Akechi starts blabbing spoilers. “I noticed you weren’t quite yourself today,” Akechi continues, catching up with him.  “And I thought it might have something to do with the ring on your left index finger that you’ve fondled precisely seventeen times throughout the day.” What an awful way to describe it. I didn’t fondle anything. “Perhaps the material of that ring works in the same manner as the telepathy canceller—which would explain why you seemed uncharacteristically skittish today since you’re pretty bad at discerning people’s intentions without your telepathy.” What are you? A psychic? But Akechi only persists. “I realized later that you’d always leave whenever anyone started talking about that new movie on Netfl*x—” Can’t hear now, Kusuo slaps his hands over his ears. Gone horribly deaf. “And I figured it must be that you haven’t watched it yet for some reason, like maybe your home internet is down because your father forgot to pay the bills for three whole months and so it got cut—” How did you even..? Kusuo grimaces. N-nope, not listening! 100% deaf! “I know you don’t have a mobile phone to watch it on either,” Akechi continues. “So, that’s why I wanted to invite you to my house today, to watch it together. Oh, don’t worry, I know absolutely nothing about the movie. In fact, I���d only heard Kaidou-kun screaming out the title just ten minutes ago.” Kusuo pauses then, glancing back at Akechi in hesitance. Akechi only meets his wary gaze with a knowing smirk, and says, “We also have strawberry shortcake in the fridge.” _______ v. I don’t suppose there’s a good reason this time either, Kusuo sighs wearily, closing his book. Still, there’s a glimmer in his eyes; he knows Akechi had come bearing gifts—a selection of coffee jellies topped with cherries and chocolate drizzle. “I’ve made a habit of crashing your place unannounced, haven’t I?” Akechi offers a contrite grin, watching as Kusuo helps himself to a spoonful of jelly. “I do apologize, but whenever I get restless, I find myself wandering here by instinct. Admittedly, I was worried about being a bother, but your mother is always so welcoming at the door despite that dreary, constipated look in your eyes—” You are being a bother. Like a persistent mosquito that thinks it's summer all year round, Kusuo grouses with his Most Annoyed Expression, knowing how ineffectual his Feigning Ignorance Face had become over time. Also, have you graduated from pee references to shitty jokes now? Disgusting. But Akechi takes it all in stride, undeterred by Kusuo’s ugly grimace and acerbic jibes. “—Plus, it’d be considered extremely rude if I didn’t come in after that, and I certainly do not want you to think of me as rude. You’re a friend I hold in high regard, after all. I always have, ever since I found out it was you who saved me from the bullies back then.” The earnestness in Akechi’s words stumps him, if only a little. And though Kusuo is careful to keep his surprise from showing, there’s a part deep down in his not-so-granite heart that feels a touch of warmth at the sentiment. Akechi’s already placing the Scrabble board on the floor, so he misses the ghost of a smile that crosses Kusuo’s lips. Did Akechi honestly think he could beat a psychic at Scrabble too? How naive. “You’re probably thinking how naive I must be, believing I could beat you at a board game with your powers and all,” Akechi notes cheerfully, almost as if he’s a mind-reader himself. Kusuo frowns, slightly disgruntled by the fourth-wall breaking once more and wishes they would give it a rest for once. Overusing a trope gets really tiring, you know? Still, he smiles again as he takes a seat across from Akechi—who is now shuffling the Scrabble chips while nattering away about the history of board games and how the loser would have to give up his share of coffee jelly (as if Kusuo would allow it to come to that again). Two Sunday visits per month only, Kusuo says, lifting several chips into the air with a wave of his hand. If you beat me... I’ll allow it. Akechi’s eyes widen, before he breaks into a playful grin. “Very well, then. May the best man win.” Kusuo only lets out a soft laugh. Perhaps it’s not too late to pick up where they had left off in grade school. —End—
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solangelover · 4 years ago
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Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better
Solangelo Week 2020 - god swap / body swap @solangeloweek 
Read on AO3 or FF.Net
A/N: (Ignore how late this fic is) I recently realized that I love the tag “crack treated seriously” and then I was like, wait is that what I write?? Oh well XD
“Ugh, I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Oh gods, what are we going to do??”
Will and Nico were behind the Hades cabin, but not for the reasons they’d like to be.
Currently, Will was looking at Nico and Nico was looking at Will, but they were also staring at themselves. Because they were in each other’s bodies. Because why not.
Nico pinched the bridge of his nose (Will’s nose?), sighing, “This is ridiculous.”
Will was a little more panicky than his boyfriend. “Oh my gods, how and why is this happening? We can’t be stuck like this! Can we be stuck like this? Oh my gods, what if we’re stuck like this???”
The boys had woken up from a nap together (a literal time of sleeping together) in the early afternoon, only to find that they weren’t quite themselves. They also found a note on the nightstand that said, “Don’t tell, or it’ll take longer to wear off!” signed with a simple red heart. The situation was pretty straight forward, but that didn’t make it any easier to handle.
“Solace, calm down. We’ll be fine. This is either a prank from the Aphrodite kids or Aphrodite herself. I don’t think any children of Aphrodite have ever had precise enough control of their power to extend the time of their curses, though I’ve also never heard of any body or mind swaps from them either…” Nico tapped his chin in thought.
“So you think this is directly from a goddess??” Will flailed his arms for emphasis. He had not been still since they woke up switched.
Nico held up his hands placatingly. “Will, I said to calm—”
“When has that ever made anyone calm??”
Nico’s eyes flicked to the ground behind Will, noticing some movement. He immediately recognized the shadows reacting to Will’s panic, swirling around his feet and slowly pulling upward like a barrier. Huh, so that’s what that looks like, Nico thought, finally seeing what other people saw. He could admit that it was slightly terrifying.
“Okay! Okay, Will, just, breathe with me. Remember, like you taught me?” Nico drew in a deep breath, emphasizing the movement with his hands. He exhaled loudly. “In 4, hold 3, out, like, 5. Right?”
“What, no, do you even listen to me? It’s in 4, hold 7, out 8. Like this,” and Will proceeded to do several slow breaths. Nico was grinning even as he copied Will. He also realized how different he looks when he’s not frowning while doing the exercise. He should probably pay attention to his facial expressions more.
After a few more breaths, Nico ventured, “Better?”
Will blinked a few times before letting out a chuckle. “Oh, I see what you did there. Sneaky Death Boy.” He smiled at Nico, which, again, was a very different sight to Nico. Not that he didn’t smile often, but for some reason, Will made his smile look brighter.
Instead of saying this, Nico replied with, “Well, actually I think you’re the Death Boy now, Sunshine.”
Will face palmed while Nico laughed. It was weird to hear Will’s laugh ringing in his own ears, knowing that Nico himself was the one laughing. Switching bodies was a real out-of-body experience.
Nico jolted and then groaned to himself. “Will, please tell me you don’t think in puns.”
Will immediately straightened up and asked desperately, “What was the pun? Please tell me, I haven’t thought of a single one this whole time.”
Nico sighed. “Just how this is a real out-of-body experience.”
Will burst into laughter immediately. “Oh, that’s a good one!” He wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. “Yeah, puns just pop into my head. I don’t know if it’s a gift from Apollo or what, but I love it and already miss it.”
Nico rolled his eyes. “I hate you. Or me. I hate this body and brain. It’s stupid.”
Will hummed. “That’s not what you said last night.”
“Will, I swear to the gods, stop taking flirting tips from Cecil and Lou Ellen. They make no sense coming from you. I didn’t even see you yesterday!” Nico wrinkled his nose in disgust as he watched his boyfriend waggle his eyebrows suggestively with his body. “Also, don’t make me say or do dumb things. It’s wrong.”
Will’s face lit up, which really made Nico look his age instead of like the 80-something year old he truly was, and he proceeded spin around and flail his arms. Nico knew this to be Will’s version of dancing.
Will abruptly stopped and pouted at Nico. “No fair. I can literally feel your body being graceful even when I’m controlling the movements. I can’t make you dance badly if I tried!”
“Don’t test that theory,” Nico chuckled despite himself, glad to see that Will had calmed down and was actually having fun in this scenario. He’d hate to ruin the good mood, but, “How long do you think this will last?”
Will sobered up quickly, folding his arms in thought. “Hard to say. Like you said, we’ve never heard of this kind of prank being pulled before. So, if it really is from the goddess of love… then we just have to not make her mad so she lifts the curse, or at least, doesn’t extend it.” His eyebrows furrowed quizzically. “Why did she curse us in the first place?”
“I bet she was just bored,” Nico shrugged. “Anyway, her note also said that we can’t tell anyone, otherwise we’ll be stuck like this for longer. So…” he trailed off, unsure of where that left them.
“Basically, we have to be each other for however long, without telling anyone directly what’s happening.” Will swallowed.
The boys let that sink in. And then simultaneously groaned.
“I was supposed to teach a sword lesson in a few hours,” Nico grumbled, imagining just how much could go wrong with Will handling a sword. Granted, he’d be in Nico’s body, but still.
“And I have a shift at the infirmary through dinnertime,” Will ran a hand through his hair, distracted momentarily by the silky black locks he combed through instead of his normal wiry dirty blonde hair. At least Nico had helped in the infirmary enough to know what Will did and where things were. But he did not have the medical training and experience Will had. What might happen if a camper got seriously hurt?
They sat in silence for a bit as they thought this over. Could they pull it off?
“…”
“…”
“This is bad.”
“This is doable,” they said at the same time. Nico looked up in concern, thinking his boyfriend was overestimating his sword skills, while Will looked mildly offended as he thought Nico was doubting his own knowledge of the infirmary.
“Neeks! You can totally take a shift at the infirmary. My siblings will be there for anything major,” Will stated with his hands on his hips. He had to look up slightly since Nico was a few inches shorter than Will, which was definitely a new experience for Will.
“Okay,” Nico looked doubtful, but continued. “But I don’t think you can run a sword lesson. No offense,” he tacked on with an apologetic smile.
Will hummed in agreement. “Yeah, that’s probably true. We can cancel it, though, right? Or ask someone to take it over?”
“Ugh, I don’t know. I don’t want to cause suspicion or upset the love goddess for any reason,” Nico frowned. “… I think we might just have to… do this.”
They stared at each other for a moment more.
“Oh gods,” Will buried his face in his hands.
“Merda,” Nico glared at the sky, the bright blue like Aphrodite herself was mocking him. She probably was.
---
*At the arena*
“Okay, guys! Um, today we’re going to shake things up and have some fuuuuun!” Nico was absolutely going to kill Will for making him sound like an idiot, but he didn’t know what else to do. Six kids between eight to ten years old gazed up at him with varying levels of excitement and confusion. Will distractedly realized how much he’s sweating (though more from nerves than physical exhaustion) and understood why Nico did his usual training shirtless. But Will was highly unsure about being so close to his shirtless boyfriend’s body, regardless of who’s brain was controlling his movements. So, the shirt stayed.
“What are we doing that’s so great, Mr. Nico?” An eight-year-old Ares girl looked a little too excited about sword-fighting class for Will’s comfort.
“Um,” Will rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he spoke. He was reaching for any way to circumvent dangerously pointy weapons when an idea struck him. “Oh!” He smiled at the kids, who looked quite off-put by the expression. “Today, we’re going to discuss basic medical knowledge to know when you’re on the battlefield!”
The groans he received put a damper on what he thought was a very practical lesson that he’s immensely proud he came up with.
“But that’s what infirmary class is for! Mr. Will taught us!”
“Yeah, I wanna fight with swords!”
“Ah ah ah!” Will interrupted their grumblings before it got out of hand. “Mr. Will teaches what the medics do once you can leave a fight and be treated properly. This will be quick fixes while you’re still fighting. It’s important that you can quickly assess wounds and determine your next course of ac—”
“Ugh, you sound like Mr. Will!”
“Yeah, you never talk this much, Mr. Nico.”
“Maybe he’s not the real Mr. Nico.”
These kids were getting dangerously close to the truth, and Will almost wanted to tell them so they’d stop complaining. But no, couldn’t do that. Hm, how do I make them interested while sounding like Nico…
Will lit up when he finally realized what to do. Really, he should be better at this, he has so many little siblings. But he and Nico didn’t exactly behave in the same way. Nico didn’t like coddling kids in any way, especially not in his class. That’s probably why they loved him so much.
“Okay, okay,” Will said loudly, cutting off the students’ whispering as he sat down in front of them. “How about I tell you a story?”
Immediately, all the kids cheered and sat down as close to him as they could, stars shining in their eyes.
“Haven’t you fought werewolves?”
“Do you see ghosts?”
“You fought with Percy Jackson! Tell us about him!”
“What kind of powers do you have?”
“Oh, tell us about defeating the Titans!”
“Are zombies, like, super gross?”
Will laughed at how excited they all were. He almost forgot that Nico was a famous war hero instead of his dorky boyfriend. “Okay, listen closely. You may learn a thing or two from my heroic tales!” He puffed out his chest dramatically, drawing adorable giggles from everyone. He then launched into a story about one of Nico’s many battles, throwing in how he used his medical knowledge to patch himself up and continue fighting. Needless to say, everyone paid attention when Will brought out some bandage rolls for them to practice with.
---
*At the infirmary*
“Will, what in Hades are you doing?”
Nico jumped at Kayla’s voice sounding behind him. His head knocked into a shelf, spilling supplies on the floor. He was not hiding in the supply closet.
“Um,” he began eloquently. “Inventorying?”
Kayla rolled her eyes. “Bro, you did that yesterday. And we don’t have that many people coming in here, so I highly doubt we’re low on anything.” So maybe she was just exasperated with her brother and didn’t suspect anything weird was going on.
“Well, you know me,” was a phrase that Will never said and yet it’s all Nico could think of. He shrugged apologetically at Will’s sister.
“Whatever, come on, Cecil just came in with some burns on his arms. I’d say it was from the lava wall, but he probably exploded something in his face.” She led the way out of the supply closet and toward the front of the infirmary. Where Cecil, Will’s best friend, was waiting and would surely notice something off about Will.
“What are you going to do?” he asked Kayla.
She eyed him with some suspicion. “… What do you want me to do?”
“Oh, uh,” Nico was confused. “Um, nothing? Whatever you normally do?”
“… Huh.” (Will had definitely given her a task to do that morning.)
She was about to respond when Nico blurted out, “You can end early, if you want.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. That was not a common thing for the head medic to say, for sure.
“I mean,” Nico floundered for any sort of reasoning. “You’ve been working hard recently, and I just thought you might like a little extra free time.” He paused for a moment before adding, “And you’re taking the cabin to dinner tonight since I’m working, which is hard enough.”
At that, Kayla laughed and seemed to relax. “Yeah, no kidding. You want me gone? I’m gone, no problem.” Nico sighed with relief. Then he realized that if anyone came in majorly injured, he’d have no help. He thought about taking it back, but she was already out the door.
With another sigh, Nico headed toward the bed Cecil was currently lounging on, not concerned in the slightest about the mild burns on his forearms. He picked up his head as Nico approached.
“‘Sup, Will!”
Nico shook his head, feeling Will’s blond wisps tickle his face as he did so, and gave his friend an exasperated smile like he’d seen Will do a million times over. “Here again, Markowitz?”
Cecil threw his head back and laughed. “Markowitz? I thought Mr. Doom-and-Gloom was the only one who used last names like the old-timer he is?”
“Uh,” Nico fumbled. “Yeah, I was just… testing it out?”
“Okay, Doctor Solace,” Cecil rolled his eyes. “I just need the magic bandages and I’ll be on my way.”
Right, healing magic. Something Will should be able to do. But Nico doesn’t know if he can make his powers work properly. “Right, I’ll just… get some bandages.”
Cecil didn’t seem to notice or care about the healer’s apparent hesitation, simply leaning back on his bed. “Sure thing. So, how’s life, my friend?”
Nico scoffed, “Don’t we see each other every day? Multiple times?”
“That doesn’t mean I know how you’re doing. Is it so wrong I want to hear from my best friend, my buddy, my pal?” Cecil was so dramatic sometimes.
Nico just hummed in response as he came back with some bandages and burn ointment. Thank the gods he had helped out in the infirmary many times in the past. Will taught him the basics at least, and he’d taken care of minor injuries like this before. Hopefully, that was enough, and Cecil didn’t ask for any actual hymns.
“Soooo,” Cecil drawled. “How’s the boyfriend?”
Nico choked on air.
“Oh, come on, Will,” Cecil rolled his eyes. “You should be used to me asking by now. You know I’m nosy!”
“I, um,” Nico didn’t know what to say.
Luckily, Cecil continued. “Remember when you used to talk my ear off about Nico? I can’t say I miss those days, but it’s so much harder when I have to pry for information.”
Nico was suddenly much more interested in this conversation. “I didn’t used to talk that much… did I?”
“Oh,” Cecil sat up straight, jostling his arm that Nico was trying to wrap. “Don’t even give me that. You know you did. All I heard was Nico’s so cute and he’s so strong and did you know he used to play Mythomagic? That’s adorable!” He mocked Will’s voice and practically swooned at the end. Even while blushing furiously, Nico had to hold in his laughter. He’s not surprised that Will said those things, but hearing Cecil complain about it made it even funnier.
“I did not,” Nico said indignantly like he’d heard Will do so many times. He wasn’t a good liar.
“Yes, you totally did! Must I recount the many laments of Nico’s beauty and grace?”
Nico really hoped his smile didn’t come off as mischievously as he felt. “Oh, please do.”
---
Will came by the infirmary with a plate of food toward the end of Nico’s shift. The place was empty except for Nico sweeping the floor. Will had to pause in the doorway for a second, his mind still confused when he saw himself doing the sweeping. Is that what I usually look like? But, no, probably not. Because Nico was scowling hard at the floor as he worked, which was an odd look to see on the son of Apollo’s face.
“Knock knock!” Will called out, getting his boyfriend’s attention. Nico blinked a few times at Will, probably jarred in the same way Will was upon seeing himself.
Then he scowled again. “Don’t say that in my body—I look dumb.”
Will gasped in mock offense, then twirled around with his plate of food. “I think I make you look good, Sunshine.” He winked at Nico for good measure, who in turn groaned and dropped the broom where he was.
The boys settled down at Will’s desk, Nico taking Will’s usual seat in case anyone came in. They didn’t want any questions, no matter how innocent.
“So, do you think this body swap business is almost done?” Will asked as they started eating.
Nico could only shrug. “Hopefully. A day is the average length of a curse around here, but who knows?”
Will hummed in agreement. After a few more moments of silence, he asked, “How was the infirmary today? Everything went okay?”
Nico nodded. “Yeah, only Cecil came in with some burns.” He then smirked at his boyfriend. “He also told me some stories.”
“Oh no,” Will muttered as he buried his face in his hands. “About what?” He was afraid to know the answer.
“You know, just about you… and how you used to gush over me all the time.” Nico was fully grinning now. Will didn’t know he could look so evil.
“Ugh, whyyyyy,” he groaned loudly.
“I have so much blackmail material now.”
“I hate you.”
“Yeah.”
They lapsed into another brief silence before Nico piped up again. “So, did you kill anyone in my class?”
“Psh, I’ll have you know, I am an excellent teacher,” Will puffed up.
Nico raised an eyebrow at him. “Yes, but your sword skills aren’t exactly up to par.”
“Well then it’s a good thing we didn’t use swords today.” Nico’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but before he could say anything, Will leapt out of his chair and struck what he probably thought was a heroic pose. “I regaled your students with tales of your bravery,” he trumpeted in a deep, dramatic voice. “While also interjecting some medical advice and emphasizing the importance of field medical knowledge.”
A beat of silence, and then, “Please don’t tell me you said it like that.”
“Just like that,” Will replied, a cheeky grin on his face.
Now it was Nico’s turn to groan, cheeks flooding red with embarrassment. “Will! I have a reputation!”
“Which I have elevated, you’re welcome.” He bowed as he returned to his seat.
“I hate you.”
“I know.”
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7nosecrinkle7 · 4 years ago
Note
Lena/ Reader "Of course I care" and "Why have you been hiding this from me?" with Lena saying these things
Thank you for your request, anon! I hope you enjoy it <3
———————————————————————-
How Long?
You could not look at another layout. They were starting to visually blur together. You worked in the art department at CatCo. Well... that was putting it modestly. You actually ran the art department at CatCo. You were just as well respected as the big names in the building, and people parted when you walked into a room. 
But today, in particular, you’d much rather disappear and be home. See, for about a week now, you’d been feeling run down. You passed it off as being an incredibly busy week last week. You laid on an extra layer of makeup to hide the bags and your slightly red nose. You were sucking on cough drops like they were candy and had a pharmacy’s worth of cold medicine drugs in you. And they all seemed to fail you today. It was only Monday, and you had no idea how you’d make it through.
Your phone buzzed, and you glanced down to see it was Lena. She needed a preview of the current layout. Usually, you’d take it up yourself, but you grabbed the newest intern and sent them on their way. Today was one of the days Lena was at CatCo. She split her time between L-Corp and CatCo, depending on which one needed her physically in the space that week. Most of the time, she was at L-Corp, but you were all on a tight deadline with a big issue coming out at the end of the week.
You weren’t avoiding Lena perse, but you had canceled yesterday’s date night due to ‘working late’ to meet this deadline. The congestion had properly set into your voice, and it was no longer easy to conceal how poorly you were feeling. It wasn’t a big deal, so you didn’t bring it up. You could pass off the sneezes at Saturday brunch as Spring starting to bloom, but you were past that now. The bags under your eyes, blurring of your consonants, sniffles, and red nose, and the tickle in your throat was too distinctive and identifiable. 
You sighed and flagged down the same bright-eyed intern you’d just sent up to the top floor. You sent them on another mission to get you a third cup of tea. You made your way to your office and sat down at your desk. You opened your tablet and scrolled through the new sets that just came in, your head resting in one hand. You were never more thankful than in this moment that your office walls, while still glass, were frosted through the middle hiding your misery.
While you were wallowing and wishing to be home in pajamas and blankets... Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor were a floor up, both of their arms crossed and their faces showing confusion.
“It still just doesn’t feel right,” Kara said. 
“I get that,” Lena said, “I know it can be better…” She trailed off. Lena knew you could do better on it. Something about the whole situation felt off for Lena. Ever since your date night was canceled last night, she felt that something wasn’t right. You had been dating for a few months now, not publicly yet, though, and you’d never canceled a date without an excellent reason to back it. Last night was different. And she knew you’d generally bring up an important layout personally so you could discuss it. Your texts, calls, and interactions the entire week had been unusually sparse.
“You know what, I’ll take it back and see if I can work something out with her,” Lena said, cutting the brief collaboration even shorter with Kara.
“Are you sure? I have some time to take it back if you have things to do.” Kara offered.
Lena shook her head, “I’ve got it, thank you, though.”
Back on your floor, you somehow missed the voices quieting down ever so slightly. You also missed hearing the distinctive click of stiletto heels on the flooring until someone was standing in your office doorway.
You looked up to see Lena standing there, the layouts from a half hour ago clutched in one hand. You sighed and waved her in.
“It’s ndot working, is it?” You asked, already knowing the answer. You internally cringed, hearing your own voice. 
You pushed back from your desk to walk around in front and lean against it. Lena handed the layouts back to you with a few notes attached that she and Kara had added. You pushed off and paced while going over the notes.
“Miss (Y/L/N), your tea.” The intern briefly interrupted. They entered your office and handed the steaming to-go mug to you. 
“Thank you,” you said with a smile, and they hurried out of the room. You sighed when they were gone and stopped pacing.
Lena took the layouts back from you and placed them on your desk. She then took the spot you had been in and leaned into your desk. She crossed her arms and quirked an eyebrow at you.
“How long?” is all she asked.
You rubbed your hand across your forehead. “Since last week.”
“Why have you been hiding this from me?” Lena asked with her arms still crossed, but a concerned look was growing on her face. You couldn’t help but feel a little silly and guilty even though you were the one not feeling well.
You shrugged, “I don’t know.”
“Love, it’s okay, you know you can talk to me.” Lena softened completely 
You sighed, “I guess it’s because you’re Lena Luthor, a very busy and important person who has bigger things to deal with than your girlfriend’s cold. I know it’s stupid, but I didn’t think you’d care.”
Lena softened entirely and stood up, pulling you into a hug. “Of course I care.”
You stepped forward and buried your face into her blouse despite knowing exactly how much it cost. You were just so exhausted and miserable that you couldn’t help the few tears that slipped past. 
“Let’s get out of here. My place or yours, love?” Lena asked, rubbing slow circles on your back.
You sniffled and shook your head, still not leaving her arms, “we’re swamped right now. I can’t take time off. The layout is still a mess...” 
“I can delegate that to Kara and your assistant. They’ll handle it, and if they can’t, they will still reach me if they absolutely need to.” Lena’s voice was calming and soothing. You found yourself relaxing more into the hug.
“Yours,” you whispered. 
Lena kissed the side of your head and pulled back. You pulled a tissue from the box on your desk and dabbed at your tears and your nose. You took a quick glance at the small mirror you kept in your desk drawer. Thankfully your makeup seemed to have held.
“I just need to grab my things, and then we can get out of here,” Lena said after you’d picked up your bag.
You held the back of your hand to the underside of your nose and sniffled. The few tears you’d let out seemed to have loosed a bit of your congestion and irritated your nose even more. You sniffled again and turned, stifling a near-silent sneeze. Huh! N--xxt.
“Bless you,” Lena said quietly.
You sniffled again, “thandks.” You shook your head, took a deep breath, and squared your shoulders. You walked briskly and led the way out of your office. It was what Lena called your CEO walk even though you weren’t one. It was the presence you projected when you walked through your department and through CatCo. It was your own form of armor that no one could see through.
You both stepped into the private elevator and rode the five seconds up to the next floor. The general bullpen was even more chaotic than usual, but just like on your floor, people parted as the two of you strode towards Lena’s office.
Soon enough, Lena had things worked out with Kara, and the two of you were back in the elevator. Knowing it was Lena’s private elevator and wouldn’t stop until you reached the ground floor, you walked to the back and leaned your head against the wall.
You closed your eyes and felt Lena rest her hand on your arm.
“Darling, do we need to stop at your place before we go to mine?” Lena asked at the volume of a whisper. 
You shook your head and sniffled. You wriggled your nose around and brought a knuckle up to rub at it. You tried to stave off the sneeze but were failing at it. You felt Lena’s eyes watching you, that protective hand still in place on your arm. 
A quick glance at the numbers showed you were on the second floor, the elevator seconds away from opening while you lost the struggle with your nose. You bent at the waist and stifled a harsh double. 
Hiiih hiih-n—xt… nxxgtt! 
Huhmmpf—shu! 
A third sneeze escaped as the doors opened. 
“Bless you, darling,” Lena said quietly, mindful of any listening ears.
“Thanks,” you sniffled a few times sharply and walked out, back to business appearance. 
Unsurprisingly, Lena’s driver was waiting for the two of you when you stepped out of CatCo.
The ride to Lena’s penthouse was uneventful. It was mid-morning, so traffic was light. It was quiet, Lena laying off the questioning while your sniffles filled the silence. You were far too drained to answer any of them regardless. There were no tissues in the car, which either you or Lena would definitely have to amend at some point.
………...
The moment you entered the penthouse, your stilettos came off, and you let your sinuses finally get some relief. You ducked your head into your elbow...
Huuh uh hiii hiiuushhheeww! Ushheew… hiih eshhheewwww!
“Bless you!” Lena said, a bit startled.
Hih achxshewW! 
You sneezed again and sniffled. That would help your nose a bit for now. 
“Bless you, love,” Lena said and guided you towards the kitchen. You lowered your elbow and brought a hand up to swipe at your nose. Lena grabbed you a few tissues from the counter.
You took the tissues and blew your nose as much as you could. 
“Gross, sorry,” you mumbled when you were finished. You threw out the used tissues and washed your hands.
“No need to be sorry (Y/N). You can’t exactly help it.”
Lena went about placing the purses in the coat closet and collecting your shoes. Meanwhile, you used the kitchen sink to wash the majority of your makeup off. You patted your face dry with a fresh dishtowel. You sighed deeply and placed your arms on the cold granite countertops and hung your head completely miserable. 
You sniffled and coughed; you were beyond stuffed up at that point. The congestion had fully set in. 
“Are you mad?” You asked quietly and picked your head up. Lena walked over to you, eyebrows quirked in confusion. “That I hid this from you?” You supplied for her.
Lena shook her head and sighed, “No, I’m not mad. But I do want to talk about it at some point.” She ran her fingers through your hair as you relaxed some more. You could handle that conversation later, just not now. Lena hummed as her hand came to rest on your forehead and then cheek.
“You feel warm… How about you go lay down, and I’ll bring the thermometer and some medicine?” Lena suggested. She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. You blushed slightly and nodded before heading off to change and get comfortable.
When you curled up in her bed, you almost immediately drifted off to sleep. You knew when you awoke from your nap, Lena would be there with a warm mug of your favorite tea, some soup, medicine, and cuddles. Your Luthor may be icy on the outside at times, but she was a total softy. That was what you loved most about her.
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outofcontexturi · 2 years ago
Text
sun 19th March 2023 journal 09:48am
good morning world. I’m tired as fuck. this whole week has taken a lot of energy out of me. Been applying for some jobs every day and going to work on weekends and then learning these musical numbers on top of everything as well as recalling choreography. I have alot of things cut out for me. And I still need to meet with some agents. I never really deep how well I’m doing in the midst of things that are hard or even after. Like after writing all that I just re read what I’d written and that is alot of my plate and I’m still doing it. I could be doing more though and i plan on doing more. I’ve had to stop the edibles for the time being and the smoking for the time being to focus. My only thing is I need to eat healthier and spend less. Spent £11 on kfc yesterday which is ridiculous but it was a one off considering I didn’t really get much of a break at work. I’m gonna see my dad today, go for a walk with mum and then do some more character work. I tried to watch Star Wars Episode 1 yesterday evening but man all that exposition fucking sent me to bed. Like idk if that’s the first movie of the series or if I’m even watching it in order but regardless of that point it took forever to get somewhere and I gave up cause I was too tired. I also wanna say as a massive side note to TFL and the conservative government you can all suck my dick and suck your mums for your terrible service and rail fare increases. Your service is still shit. Yet your fares aren’t reflective of how shit your services are. I spent 40 mins in London Bridge station on a train, on Friday evening only for that train to cancel. This is why I’m gonna start bumping train. It’s not like I don’t do it already but still. cause this is not acceptable. John gave me some free game on the industry again on Friday. He said talent is third most important thing when being a creative. Second is can they work with you and the first really is your look. Do you look like what they’re looking for. The more I learn about this industry I realise how wrong I was about it. He also said your craft is your own. How you do things is for you and you only. I know that already but still. It’s nice to be reminded. I don’t like being poor. It’s like a stifling feeling. I need active ways to get self care under way that actually work. NOTE: JOHN FACETIMED ME AND WE SPOKE FOR LIKE TWO HOURS SO YEAH THIS WASNT COMPLETED. no sign out time.
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s-and-n-writes · 4 years ago
Text
the lie that wasn’t: a lila takedown story
ao3 link
summary: Marinette Dupain-Cheng was having a good day. She’d managed to wake up early and get to work on time, she was able to finish the pieces for the show on Monday, and she even found a little ladybug, who she promptly named Tikki.
This was before Lila Rossi decided to intervene. She had found a new lie to tell: the top secret news that she was now dating Adrien Agreste, and was yet again making Marinette's life miserable, like she promised.
There was just one problem. Marinette was dating Adrien. And everyone knew it.
A/N: hey! it's n again, and happy september!
i literally cannot believe that it's september already. it feels like july was just yesterday honestly. summer's practically over, and i'm so sad :( also, i’m psychic! if you want the story just tell me lol
ps: ladybug’s face is a mooood ngl
anyways, enjoy!
______
Marinette Dupain-Cheng was having a good day. She’d managed to wake up early and get to work on time (her mentor and boss, M. Agreste himself managed to look surprised as she popped into his office at 9AM to exchange a quick greeting), she was able to finish the pieces for the show on Monday (her once-cancelled date with Adrien was back on now) and she even found a little ladybug, who she’d named Tikki (after her kwami friend) resting on her sewing machine. 
Even now, as she laid on her desk sipping cold coffee and drawing new designs, the petite bug flitted about, never leaving her general space.
The only thing that had been a slight damper on her good mood was the (probably unnecessary, thought Marinette) was the feeling of being broken, or not enough or-
It was hard to explain.
Maybe it was the endless tormenting from Lila, who had decided to make Marinette her enemy.
Maybe it was the pressure from designing and creating at Gabriel.
Maybe it was the sneers that her so-called friends gave her, after hearing Lila’s lies.
Maybe it was… her. 
Regardless of the cause, for a long time, Marinette continued to feel as if… she was useless, against everything life threw at her at her each and every day. 
But before she got stuck in her dark place, she shrugged off the unwanted thoughts, instead trying to focus on the half-made design on her tablet in front of her.
It was then that, having practically nothing to do and no inspiration for designing, she instead began to think of Adrien Agreste, her boyfriend. 
He was one of the only ones who recognized that she felt sad, who helped her and listened to her rants when she needed to clear her head.
She could even say that Adrien was the best part of her life. Even if Monsieur Agreste hadn’t agreed to their relationship (which he had, since his son dating one of the most upcoming designers in the fashion industry garnered good publicity) she would’ve still found a way to make it work, especially after she found out that he was Chat Noir.
It was no secret that they were made for each other. 
Marinette was quickly shaken out of her thoughts once Lila Rossi entered the room. Lila’s bold demeanor and threatening look as she strutted into the wide space with eyes set on Marinette could only mean one thing: public embarrassment.
Marinette sighed and continued brainstorming ideas. 
Unlucky for her, Lila quickly headed her way, a sickly sweet smile on her lips. 
What could she be thinking of now? Marinette thought. 
It was like Lila to try and embarrass her, because Marinette had confronted her about her lies a while ago, but lately, it hadn’t been too bad. Even yesterday, Marinette was just telling Adrien about how Lila seemed to be laying off. 
It seemed like she jinxed herself. 
“Hey Marinette ,” Lila said as she approached her.
“Hey Lie -La,” Marinette responded, barely glancing at her. Lila faked sadness as those around her began noticing the argument between the two. It was no shock, as it often happened, but this one seemed...different. 
Little did they know. 
“Oh, Marinette! How could you say that?” Lila asked, wiping tears from her eyes. A few other designers around the room frowned and went to comfort Lila.
“Marinette!” 
“Why are you always being so mean?” 
“Really, we aren’t 12 year olds! Stop harassing Lila all the time!”
“You can be so horrible at times!” 
“Yea, can’t you see how sad she is?” 
The clear smirk on Lila’s face showed that she was far from sad. In fact, she seemed to be enjoying it.
“I told you I’d make your life miserable,”she whispered, grinning, “and this is just the beginning,”
“It’s ok everyone. We have to treat her with respect. Maybe she can change from her ways?” Lila suggested, pursing her lips into a sympathetic frown as she rubbed the sides of her arms, “And besides, I’m sure that when she pushed me in the bathroom earlier, it was just an accident!” 
“She pushed you?” Aurore Beauréal, a model, asked.
Lila nodded. “But it was an accident, really!” 
She lifted up her sleeves on both arms to show an array of reddish-purplish bruises lining them.
“That’s not an accident!” Pierre Allaire, another model, said from across the room. “Pushing? I didn’t think you’d stoop so low Marinette!” 
“I didn’t do anything!” Marinette cried, unable to keep from shouting. “You’re lying, Lila!” 
“I can’t believe you!” cried Felippe Champoux, assistant to Pierre. “Accusing Lila of lying this many times when you’ve been hurting her? How dare you!” 
“Are you ok, Lila?” asked Pierre, coming to inspect her arms. Several people crowded around her as they tried to look at her bruises.
Lila quickly rolled her sleeves down and smiled. 
“Oh, it’s ok, I’m fine,” she smiled. “There’s only some pain. Not even bad, really!”
Marinette groaned again. 
“You should feel horrible for what you’re doing!” Aurore sneered. “In fact, I think Lila should go to court against you!” 
Lila’s eyes went wide and Marinette bit her lip to stop from smirking. “Like, with a lawyer?” 
Aurore nodded. “With a lawyer!” 
Lila laughed nervously. “N-no, that’s not necessary!” 
A makeup artist from across the room frowned. “You sure?”
Lila nodded. “Yes! Marinette and I can be friends in the future! If-if we can right our wrongs, and sort this all out, we can be best friends~” 
The makeup artist grinned. “You’re amazing Lila! You’re so sweet, so nice!” 
Marinette swiveled in her chair and counted to 10 to stop from exploding. 
“Aww thank you!” the girl in question smiled. “You’re too kind!” 
Finally, Marinette thought, it’s over for today. After a few weeks of pointed looks and many avoiding her, things would eventually return back to normal.
But Lila wasn’t done yet. Like she promised, she was just getting started.
“Well, actually, this isn’t the reason I came here,” Lila smiled, “I wanted to tell you all the news!”
“What news?” asked Felippe. “Have you been able to contact Madame Bourgeois to look at our designs?”
“I did! But unfortunately, she’s busy making a dress for me to wear!” Lila sighed, smiling at the oohs and aahs the crowd sent her way. “Oui, she does that sometimes. She’s like...my honorary aunt! She sends her love though!” 
“It’s ok. But you have to tell me about the dress she’s making later!” Aurore squealed.
Lila grinned. “For sure Aurore!”
“Now, I wanted to tell all of you this as soon as I was able to. I had to keep it a secret, but now I can finally tell you! My big news is that...” Lila paused for effect, “Adrien and I are dating!”
But instead of friendly cheers, the crowd around Lila exchanged confused glances. Marinette could barely keep in the smile that was about to overcome her face. 
“What?” asked Pierre, “That’s not right. Everyone knows that Adrien Agreste is dating Marinette,” 
Another makeup artist leaned against one of the tables. “I don’t know how he can stand her, but they’re dating all right,”
Lila’s face went slack as she twisted over to look at Marinette in a split second, a snarl lining her face. 
Sorry Lila, I guess you forgot about karma, Marinette thought, smirking as she looked over at her.
Because what goes around, comes around.
Lila turned her attention to the crowd and fumbled with the (so called) Louis Vuitton bag she held. “A-ah no actually! Adrien was fake dating Marinette, because-”
“Who was fake dating who?” came a voice from the hallway. 
In walked Adrien, with a fresh coffee and a croissant from the Dupain-Cheng bakery. 
“Adrien!” called Marinette as she jumped into his arms. 
“Hey purr-incess,” he smiled, throwing his arms around her. 
Marinette could practically see the color drain from Lila’s face. She pressed a kiss to Adrien’s lips and grinned. 
“Missed you,” she whispered.
Adrien let out a quiet sigh of joy. “Same here,” 
“Now,” he began as Marinette released him from their embrace, “who’s fake dating who?”
“A-Adrien! What a surprise! I didn’t know you were coming!” Lila laughed nervously. “You don’t have to fake it anymor-”
Adrien scoffed. “Lila, for once stop lying will you? You’ve harassed my girlfriend enough and now you want to do it like this?”
“Adrien,” whispered Marinette. 
“The past few months I’ve restrained myself from coming in here, because Mari asked me not to, but I’m here now and I have words to say,” Adrien went on.
“Adrien?” asked Marinette.
“Marinette and I are dating, you and I are not, never was, never will be. Just like all of the other lies you’ve told,” Adrien said.
“Adrien,” Marinette called again. “I’m good, ok?” 
Adrien sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Fine, but if Lila gives you any more trouble, call me, ok?” 
Marinette smiled. “Ok,” 
“Ok,” Adrien grinned as he left. “See you soon. And Alya and Nino send their love!”
With a final wave, the bluenette sighed. Clutching her coffee and her croissant, Marinette turned around to face her coworkers. 
“Marinette, I’m really sorry,”
“Yeah, I didn’t know!”
“I feel horrible,”
“Lila’s the one who’s horrible!”
“Yeah! Why’s she trying to harm our sweet Marinette?”
“You know, I always felt like there was something wrong with her, when she came in for the first time,”
“And I knew Marinette was telling the truth, I did! Unlike Lie-La ,” 
“Hey, the name seems appropriate now!”
“Are you ok Mar-”
“Stop guys,” Marinette sighed, “I can’t trust you for a while. A long time. I went through so much, and you didn’t believe me! That hurt!” 
She blinked away a stray tear before it could come crashing down as she thought of the past few months and what she had endured. 
She furrowed her eyebrows and looked at the brunette, who was clenching her fists as she opened her mouth to speak. Before she could though, Marinette interrupted.“Lila, this is your last chance. Stay away from me, otherwise I’ll be forced to take this to Nathalie, who will tell M. Agreste,” 
Lila gritted her teeth and snarled. “You’re idiots! All of you!” she stated, and ran from the room.
As the crowd dispersed, Aurore stayed behind to talk to Marinette. “I assume the ‘bruises’ today were makeup?” 
Marinette sighed. “Yeah, I can’t believe you didn’t notice,”
Aurore chuckled bitterly. “Me either. I really thought she was getting all of those ‘famous designers’ to look at my work. I was so excited!” 
She gripped the fabric in her hands a little harder and let out a sigh.
“But, that doesn’t excuse what I said to you. I’m sorry, Marinette. All of us are,”
Marinette smiled. “I can’t accept your apology right now, but thanks,”
Aurore nodded. “Understood,”
With a final wave, she turned to leave. “See you around, Marinette,”
“See you around Aurore,” Marinette nodded. 
As she watched Aurore walk off, she realized for the first time in what felt like forever, she didn’t feel quite so broken anymore. 
Marinette smiled as Tikki crawled onto her finger. It was a start.
—Bonus—
Hours later, when Marinette and Adrien were driving home, Marinette leaned to entwine Adrien’s fingers with hers. 
“Well,” Adrien sighed, “that’s only one problem down,” 
“99 left to go,” Marinette finished, the edges of a smile creeping onto her face. 
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soysaucevictim · 4 years ago
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Week 3.
-
Mar. 27
I woke up around noon today.
Spent a bit of time on the usual and getting some iced coffee before doing my exercise.
First, today’s DD. 1′ side plank hold with EC (30″30″). Took some focus, but manageable. It was a bit more challenging with slightly sore lats and pecs.
(After spending time to update some logs...)
Second, Day 13 of the SOP. Level 3, no rest, no assist. A fun sequence to focus on balancing work with.
Last, Day 13 of the RbP. Level 3, 1′ rest. I honestly think I probably could have gotten away with nixing the rest periods entirely, this time. But ah well. Definitely had some faves in involving jumping jacks and more balance work on the legs.
After some dishes, I made today’s Hello Fresh Meal. Rainbow Thai noodle toss. I probably should’ve cooled the noodles a bit more thoroughly to have them not stick together as much. It was otherwise just okay. Not quite as glowingly received to put this on reprisal list.
Spent rest of night on the usual stuff. I got to bed obscenely late, again...
-
Mar. 28
I woke up after 1AM and the first thing I did today was my exercise.
First, today’s DD. 2′ jumping jacks with EC. I counted exactly 130 reps by the end. Very dun and manageable work. Though I was tempted to do more jacks or bounces I decided to reserve my energy for other stuff today.
Second, Day 14 of the SOP. Level 3, no rest, no drops. Even if this was an arm day with un/clenching fists - i was able to keep mental count of my sets in current headspace. Otherwise fairly breezy.
Last, Day 14 of the RbP. Level 3, 1′ rest. More arm work. Got pretty intense and had a few lapses in thinking and tried transitioning to the horizontal scissor exercise instead of that frontal arm raise hold. I usually caught myself quickly though.
Spent a good chunk of the day chatting and having movie night again. We watched Little Shop of Horrors & Dodgeball. Martin’s scenery chewing was one of my own highlights from the former movie.
Spent rest of night doing some of the usual and some reading. I got to bed a couple hours earlier than yesterday, still in the red zone.
-
Mar. 29
I woke up around noon.
Was a bit uncertain about some appointments this week, including ability to have today’s therapy appointment via phone. But things got straightened up and had a pleasant phone session.
After a bit of the usual, did some exercise.
First, today’s DD. 30 leg raises with EC. Doable, a bit intense for the neck, needing to hold it up
Second, Day 15 of the SOP. Level 3, no rest. Flexibility/balance-oriented work. Breezy and fun.
Last, Day 15 of the RbP. Level 3, max rest, with allowance to let head drop to floor. Because I just did not have the energy for putting up with excessive neck strain. Regardless, abs really felt that (a bit of quads too)! One thing I liked, despite flirting with strain/fatigue was some fun sensory feedback I was getting here. Kinda making me like leg raises more, tbh.
I decided to bake some shortbread cookies to have with Logan’s jam... and it was so good. (I may consider baking another batch for Roman’s jam, and baking that on top into a glaze of sorts... maybe.)
Spent rest of night on the usual stuff. I got to bed obscenely late again...
-
Mar. 30
I woke up around noon and one of the first things I did today was exercise.
First, today’s DD. 40 balance side lunges with EC (20/20). Just about doable.
Second, Day 16 of the SOP. Level 3, no rest, no assist (only took a seat for the leg raises here given that I wasn’t sure about essentially doing a single-leg squat or wall-sit for those.... might try that next time though!) Pretty manageable, despite having modestly stiff quads.
Last, Day 16 of the RbP. Level 3, max rest. Tendon strengthening day. Took a couple sets to get things warmed up and limber, given the quads situation, but manageable. Tough work, but rewarding!
Hi the showers and made today’s Hello Fresh Meal. Oven-ready cheesy salsa verde chicken. Getting kind of annoyed that prescribed cook-times for the oven-ready chicken dishes being under-estimated. I was already grouchy about needing to cancel tomorrow’s trip reservation (under dubious circumstances) and other shit... (Despite that, food was just okay.)
So I was too angry and tired to avoid taking a nap after that was eaten...
Spent rest of night on usual shit. Got to bed a bit earlier than yesterday, but still in the red.
-
Mar. 31
I woke up around 10AM.
Bro took me to group today. Seeking Safety went alright. Still exhausted about Everything.
Got home, did a lot of the usual and some writing, I did today’s exercise.
First, today’s DD.40 single arm climbers with EC (20/20). This was a tiny bit awkward arm placement throughout. Planted hand position was off-center, so remaining balanced whilst pumping the legs was a bit concerning. Probably could’ve done better form if that was a bit more on lock. Ah well, done at any rate.
Second, Day 17 of the SOP. Level 3, no rest, no drops. Arm work, I kinda like challenging myself with this program like this, I feel like my current level of fitness gets more out of it this way. :Ic
Last, Day 17 of the RbP. Level 3, max rest. Lotta up/down with it being high knees and single leg plank holds. After the first set or two, I’m glad I took time to get my ankle popped right so it wouldn’t hurt to keep up the toe-striking and jumping for the hidden burpees (probably was a tiny bit unstable/subluxed). Feeling good about that!
Spent rest of the day on reading fics and the usual. Got to bed around the same time as yesterday.
-
Apr. 1
I woke up after 1PM.
Spent time reading and whatnot before exercise...
First, today’s DD. 80 [standing] side leg raises with EC (40/40). Happy I manged to do this whilst holding my balance the whole way through it - even if it wasn’t specified.
Second, Day 18 of the SOP. Level 3, no rest. A bit more of a flexibility-oriented day, breezy work.
Last, Day 18 of the RbP. Level 3, max rest. Had to mod-down over half the upward dogs to cobras just to mitigate built up straining (and avoid triggering some ETD). Was also worried about heartburn after some food choices beforehand - but at least that wasn’t an issue and I will consider it a small mercy. Also another workout for every second of rest was met with gratitude.
Spent rest of night reading fics and whatnot. I got to bed a little bit earlier than yesterday, still in the red zone.
-
Apr. 2
I woke up a bit before 1PM, today.
Spent some time filling out some stressful legal shit.
After I took a break on that, the only planned exercise today was the DD. 200 punches with EC. I swapped stances at 100. This was a fun and breezy DD. I appreciated it given how tired I was feeling...
Spent time updating my logs, while watching YouTube after that.
Then a few rounds of dishes around making today’s Hello Fresh Meal. Szechuan beef noodles. This was just okay. I may opt to “cheat“ a little bit by putting a lil bit of sesame oil in the cook water for the ramen noodles. Still haven’t quite nailed executing them without excessive sticking-together. Would be a bit more appealing texture and flavor-dispersion. But it wasn’t bad.
Spent the rest of night getting some writing and writing plan/notes done.
Got to bed a bit later than yesterday.
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wizardessheart-sideb · 4 years ago
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Image ID: A chapter image done in the style of Wizardess Heart. A large, off-white imagine with a guy on it. He’s wearing a dark gray uniform. There’s a lavender bar over him that reads “Tsukasa Kuze.” The rest of the text reads “Main Story” and “Chapter 4: Studying Cut Short” /End ID]
Chapter summary: Tsukasa and mine's daily study session gets derailed a bit when he feels sick after practicing defense magic.
The bell rang and I slumped forward onto my desk, groaning. It’s only been three days, but I’m so tired. I’m ready to take a nap. Or die. Either one. Even though I’ve been studying and practicing so hard, I can’t ever catch up to everyone else.
“Are you okay?” Tsukasa’s voice sounded concerned.
“No,” I answered honestly. Tsukasa leaned over and rubbed my back. Even through my clothes, I could feel the heat from his hand. It felt more nice than reassuring.
“Is this about our grades?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I replied. “And I’m tired.” Even after our study sessions, I spent hours in my room studying and practicing. If I was being honest, I probably wasn’t getting enough sleep on top of still trying to get used to this new nocturnal schedule.
“Do you want to cancel our study session for today?”
“… No.” It was a tempting offer, but I couldn’t slack off. Not when his grades depended on me.
“I don’t mind canceling,” Tsukasa said.
“No. I need to practice.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t exactly the whole truth. I didn’t want him to know I was worried about his grades. He was probably worried about them enough without me putting more pressure on him. Tsukasa sighed.
“… If you’re sure.” He sounded hesitant. Reluctant. But he just stood up, gathering his things.
Have I upset him?
Quickly, I shoved my stuff into my bag and I caught up with Tsukasa. There seemed to be two streams of people: one going back to the dorms and the other heading towards what I assumed was the Night Cafe. Not that I’d been there yet, what with Dorian cooking our meals and even packing our lunches. I wonder when he gets any sleep with how busy he is… And speak of the devil…
As Tsukasa and I approached the library, Dorian came into view, sitting on the ground in front of the door, face in his hand.
“Uh, Dorian? Are you okay?” I asked.
“Hey,” Dorian responded. He got to his feet, still looking disgruntled. “I’m doing a favor for Nox and Rex. I can’t let anyone into the library.”
“What? How come?” Tsukasa asked.
“The hell if I know,” Dorian said with a shrug. “They just asked me to keep people out while they investigated something in there. Whatever it was, they looked pretty freaked out about it.”
“That’s kind of concerning,” I said.
“I’m sure it’s nothing that bad,” Dorian said. That… no. Just no. Was he just trying to play it down so he wouldn’t scare us? Nox and Rex seemed like really tough guys. If something scared them, it would probably scare anybody. But regardless of what happened, this meant no studying in the library today. Tsukasa and I said our goodbyes to Dorian before turning back the way we came.
“Uh… do you still want to study? We could go study at the dorms,” Tsukasa suggested.
“I think we have no choice.” We made our way to the dorms and up to the third floor where Tsukasa’s suite was.
There’s something interesting about seeing dorm rooms. There’s a special brand of uniformity to them. They have the same bed, same desks, same dressers, same lights, same flooring. But each person makes the room their own. Decorations are put up, layouts changed, personalities seep into the room. And Tsukasa’s is no different. There are photographs of him and an older guy who must be his older brother all over his wall. A pile of snacks rests on his desk and his bed is messily made.
“Sorry my room’s messy,” Tsukasa said as he started moving stuff from off of the beds to underneath them. “You can sit wherever you like.”
“No, it’s fine! This isn’t messy at all.” I sat down on the bed across from his. Tsukasa leaned against his bed after pushing away some spare blankets. “Um, I guess I should go over earth shields since yesterday was garbage.”
“All right, let’s do it,” Tsukasa nodded. I whipped out my wand and steeled myself. The faster I got this, the more I could hone this until it was perfect.
“O earth, protect us from harm! Suctum terra!” The image of a stone slab strong in my mind, I channeled my magic through my wand. A solid dirt slab appeared in front of me. Tsukasa smiled widely.
“Hey, that looks way better!” he said. His compliment made my cheeks burn.
“Thank you! Can you attack it and see if it’ll stay?”
“Yeah, of course. 水! (Mizu)!” Tsukasa drew a symbol in the air and a deluge of water came forth, slamming into my shield. I had to channel more magic into it, trying to keep it in place and together. My muscles tensed from all my concentration. Suddenly, the water stopped and Tsukasa exhaled, shoulders slumping forward.
“I think it’s good,” he said breathlessly. Yay! I did it!
“Now I just need to keep this up…” Easier said than done. Not to mention, Tsukasa’s magic was improving too. I was about to compliment him when it happened. Tsukasa flopped back onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling, his chest rapidly rising and dropping.
“Tsukasa?! Are you okay?” I hurried over to his bed. He nodded very slightly, eyes closed.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just a little winded and dizzy,” he told me.
“Dizzy?” I get being winded from magic, but dizzy?
“It’s nothing serious,” he tried to wave my concern away. “It’s just a part of my condition.”
“‘Condition?’” I repeated. What condition?
“I just need to lay down for a moment,” he said.
“That doesn’t sound like it’s not serious.” Now that I thought about it, on the day I moved in, wasn’t Tsukasa in the infirmary? Nox said something about Tsukasa scaring them. Has this happened before? As Tsukasa got on his bed, I sat at his feet. “Is there anything I can do for you?” I asked him.
“If you could hand me a pencil and my Magic Notes, I’d really appreciate it,” he said.
“Uh, sure.” Even though I had no idea why he’d want those, I got up and rifled through his bag for them. His things weren’t well-organized, but somehow I was able to find them.
“Thank you.” He sat up a little and started writing furiously. I tried to sneak a peek at what he was writing, but since it was in Hinomotan, I couldn’t understand it.
“What are you writing?” I inquired, trying not to sound too serious or nosy.
“I’m writing to my brother,” he explained. “I have to tell him whenever this sort of thing happens.”
“That’s kind of weird. Oh!” Dang it! I need to stop blurting out things! But he didn’t look offended. At least, I didn’t think he did. He frowned, sad, but at least he didn’t look angry. He just looked resigned.
“It’s not…” He sighed, putting his pencil down.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it in a weird way. I was just surprised,” I said, trying not to dig myself into a deeper hole than I was already in. The last thing I wanted was a fight with Tsukasa. Not just because we were Buddies, but because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
“No, I understand,” Tsukasa said. “I know it’s weird, but Azusa’s insistent on it.” Again, he sighed. He picked his pencil back up and continued writing. “It’s invasive, but there’s nothing I can do about it.”
With a flourish, he finished the note and sent it off. The sorrowful look on his face tugged on my heartstrings. It’s really not a good situation to be, isn’t it?
“Tsukasa… You don’t have to tell me, but what’s going on?” I reached out for his hand absentmindedly. It took me a moment to realize what I’d down, but before I could take my hand back, Tsukasa grabbed it. He gave it a gentle squeeze before letting go. His eyes avoided mine.
“… You’d find out eventually… And I guess this affects you since we’re Buddies…” he muttered. He took a deep breath. “I’ve always been sickly. Ever since I was a child, I always had problems with my immune system. I get sick really easily and I don’t think I’m ever truly healthy. I’ve almost died a few times, but I’ve managed to pull through. I had a really bad bout of cholera when I was fourteen and after that, Azusa insisted we move to Gedonelune because the medication I’m taking is readily available here and it’s hard to get in Hinomoto.”
Tsukasa’s arms folded in front of his chest.
“Azusa’s always been so busy working to support us that it’s always been our system that if I wasn’t feeling well, I tell him immediately so he can keep up to date with how I’m feeling. I was fine with it when we were younger, but now that we’re adults, it just feels invasive. I know he’s just doing it because he cares about me, but he raised me and he knows I’m always sick. I don’t see why he has to know everything.”
“Is your medication not helping?” I asked.
“Ugh, I don’t know. It really helped me the first few years I took it. I got sick only once or twice a year. But in the last year or so, I’ve been getting sick more often and I honestly don’t know if it’s actually doing anything. But Azusa keeps insisting I need to take it…”
His shoulders slumped and my heart sunk. I couldn’t begin to imagine how much stress Tsukasa was under. Not only did he have to deal with being sick, but he had to deal with his brother being overbearing. In that moment, a single thought occurred to me: If I got good enough at magic, maybe I could help him. Was healing humans and animals really all that different?
Once again, my hand reached for Tsukasa’s. But this time, I didn’t wait for him to grab it.
“If you need anything, I’m here for you,” I told him. His hand was so warm as it squeezed mine back. A small smile was on his lips.
“Thank you. That really means a lot to me.” A moment passed and yet again, I realized what we were doing.
“Oh! I’m sorry, I swear my head isn’t on right today,” I stammered. I pulled my hand out of his. Thankfully, he just laughed; he didn’t seem angry.
“I don’t mind holding your hand,” he said. For some reason, that made my stomach feel all fluttery. I needed to become an official student now. Not just for myself, but to try and help Tsukasa. To help him relax and repay the kindness he’s shown.
Tsukasa and I decided to cut our study session short and after doing some homework together, I returned to my dorm. Like usual, the door to the suite was open. As I approached, I could hear talking in the kitchen. I poked my head in and saw Aika and Dorian. Aika sat at the table, flipping through a book while Dorian stood at the stove.
“… Okay, add the paprika and let it simmer for fifteen minutes,” she instructed him.
“Got it,” he nodded.
“What’re you making?” I asked, coming into the kitchen and taking a seat across from Aika. The two smiled.
“There you are! I was wondering where you were, what with the library being closed,” Aika said.
“Yeah, did you guys get your study session done?” Dorian asked.
“Aw, you were studying with your Buddy~?” Aika teased me. Hm. I don’t know if I like that lilt.
“Well, yeah, of course I studied with Tsukasa.” Why was I feeling so defensive?
“You two are so cute together,” Aika commented. “Cute together?!
“What?!” I squeaked. My face was burning and I wanted to disappear into thin air. Why are they being so weird?!
“Pft… Don’t get your underwear in a twist,” Dorian laughed. “Aika just thinks you two are a cute couple.”
“We’re not a couple though?!” I corrected him.
“Yet,” Aika said with a wink.
“You guys are spending a lot of time together,” Dorian pointed out, the edges of his lips curled into a grin.
“Because we’re Buddies. We have to work together. Our fates depend on each other.” I told them. But they kept smiling and it was clear my words didn’t mean a thing to them.
“Come on, isn’t there something romantic about being with someone that your fate is tied to? Right, babe?” Dorian looked to Aika, who was staring off into space. She perked up, looking around the room like a Meerkat looking for predators.
“… Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, totally,” she said. Dorian pouted at her.
“At least pretend to pay attention when I’m bullying someone,” he said. This was only going to get worse, wasn’t it? They really weren’t going to listen to the truth that Tsukasa and I were just friends.
“Y-You guys are too much!” I cried. I quickly fled from the room, Dorian’s laughter chasing after me.
“Dinner in an hour,” he called after me. I slammed my door shut, leaning against the back and sliding to the ground. My face felt hotter than lava. Why are they like that?! Is making people embarrassed their hobby?!
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It was obvious I was flustered. But why? I didn’t see Tsukasa romantically, so why did their teasing feel like a personal attack on top of just being embarrassing in general?
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robinskalechip · 5 years ago
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ultimately - chapter two
masterlist
robin buckley fan fic
a/n: how we liking this so far?
warnings: smoking, language
not my gif!
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chapter two - it’s a date
robin felt nervous for the second day of school as she thought of her schedule and each of her individual classes. she felt herself get more nervous when her mind got to her english class as she thought of the school’s newest mystery
robin was suddenly missing the old way the classes were set up. they had a days and b days but the district made it to where they classes were shorter and you went to all of them in a day. she liked the change at first but now all she could think about how she was going to see this new presence every day.
all day she anticipated that period and when it finally came she felt like she was going to throw up but thinks she did a pretty good job at masking it
when she entered the classroom, she greeted mrs. olsen before seeing emily already sat at her desk. she was reading the scarlet letter, the book they were told would be their first one of the semester. the distaste she was feeling towards the book was so apparent and robin took notice.
robin walked towards the desk she sat at the day before and began putting her things down “not good?”
emily angrily put her bookmark into the book and aggressively dropped it onto her desk “it’s the god damn puritans they ruin everything”
robin laughed to herself as she looked through her backpack
the class period went by pretty quickly, they were discussing the background information for the scarlet letter as emily continued reading said book and hating every second of it hi i’m kale, the author of the fic and scarlet letter anti
once mrs. olsen finished with her lecture, she allowed the remaining class time to be free time for the class to which emily, unlike almost every other person in the class, got excited and moved to a different seat to be close to a friend, kept her head burried in the book, showing no signs of emotions to the words being said around her
robin started to pack her things before she was startled by the familiar sound of a book being angrily thrown onto a desk “have you started this shit yet?”
robin looked to her right to see emily looking at her, anticipating a response
“yeah i started it during lunch today”
“how the hell can you read in that chaos of a cafeteria?” as emily spoke, robin became lost in her details. she got lost in her uneven part in her hair, most likely from her running her hand through it. she got lost in her jewelry that she had seen the day prior; the leather bracelets and small silver bands on her fingers and the necklace she wore tucked into her shirt that robin could catch a glimpse of here and there. she was lost in her but snapped out right in time to answer her.
“i go outside during lunch”
“interesting”
the bell rang and emily packed her things as robin walked past her
robin turned around briefly as she was allowing people to go before her in exiting the doorway and was met with emily’s eyes staring right back at her. this time there was no smile, but robin wasnt scared like she had been in every other interaction with her.
after a few seconds robin exited and made her way to calculus. the entire period consisted of her inability to concentrate without her mind wondering to those last few moments of english.
now all she could think of was the clock ticking and how soon she would be in her presence again in their advanced european history class
she hurried downstairs immediately once the bell rang and tried her best to get there before anyone could take her seat next to her
but once she got there, emily was no where to be seen and didn’t come to class at all during that period. robin felt somewhat worried but let it pass as she tried to focus on the course at hand, at least while she had the mental stability to do so since the one who had been distracting her so much was no longer there
the next day, robin let the endless possibilities as to where emily could have gone wander through her mind until those thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a granola bar landing in her lap as she sat underneath her beloved lunchtime tree
robin looked up to see emily, smiling so faintly it could hardly be seen
“what’s this?” robin didn’t eat lunch every day and it was a rare occurrence for someone she barely knew to just give her food like this. regardless she started to open the packaged good and break it in half, holding one half up to emily in an offering
emily grabbed the half bar and popped it into her mouth as she began to sit next to robin “you weren’t eating anything, the granola bar was at my disposal, 2 + 2 robin”
“i didn’t know you had this lunch” robin hadn’t seen her at all in the last couple of days
“yeah because it’s still summertime technically and its hot so i choose to be a normal person and stay inside” robin laughed at this statement
“it isnt even that hot”
emily mockingly laughed at her “easy for you to say, i’m from further north where cold is cold and it stays comfortable any other time of the year” as she spoke she took the cigarette that was carefully placed behind her ear and lit it. she began to take off the maroon jacket she was wearing
the girl began to lay down in the grass, still taking in her cigarette every five seconds or so
robin looked at the girl as the sun shines onto her face that now was home to her closed eyes “what”
the girl sat up and grabbed her bottled water and took a drink from it
“nothing” robin felt flustered by the girl and it was taking everything she had not to show it
robin remembered the day before “where were you yesterday in last period”
emily was looking around at the other students surrounding her a robin. it seemed as if she was trying to find someone “family emergency”
“what kind of emergency”
emily redirected her attention to robin “a family one”
the bell rang, signaling they now had to make their way to english
emily got up first so she could help robin up before throwing her cigarette onto the sidewalk and extending a hand to robin who was holding her chemistry and physics textbooks and was indeed struggling
“what”
“give me one”
“why”
emily rolled her eyes before grabbing one of the books from robin, despite her protest
robin tried to argue but emily just started to walk off as she flipped through the pages of the advanced chemistry book
“oo atomic theory” emily seems intreged by the contents of the book, paying little to no attention to her surrounds
robin smiled to herself as she saw the girl’s fascination
once they got to the classroom, emily rolled her eyes once again as chase began to approach her. she looked at robin, handing her the textbook to then give chase her attention once more
“what”
“so”
emily looked at robin who was sitting at her desk now, watching the situation unfold as a small grin appeared upon both of their lips
“basically i thought i’d give you these last couple of days to settle in and what not. i know a new school could be tough so now i’m here to officially ask you on a date this saturday at the drive in...”
emily looked at the boy who seemed desperate. but not for her acceptance but his friends’.
“sorry chase, i’ve already got plans”
a boy named tyler approached the scene from behind chase, “you literally just got here what could you possibly have to do on your first saturday night”
emily looked to robin “i have plans with robin”
robin furred her eyebrows in confusion before unfurring them when she saw the heads of the two boys turn to look at her as she gave them a sarcastic smile in agreement
the bell rung for class to begin and emily watched as the two boys went back to their desks before going to hers
for most of the class period, no one spoke except mrs. olsen until she announced that partners were to be made to discuss the scarlet letter
robin was about to turn to emily before she felt someone pulling her hand towards the back corner of the room, right by the window where emily then hopped onto the countertop
“its a shit book, there we discussed it” robin found emily’s hatred for the book amusing
she jokingly tried to object “i don’t know i think it’s pretty good”
emily’s head immediately shot to robin’s face, away from the window she had been looking out of “now i’m definitely canceling our plans for saturday”
she saw chase turn around at these words before she shot him down once again “i’m kidding chase”
robin and emily used the ten minutes they had to discuss their favorite books without going into excruciating detail. emily liked books that made her feel at ease but excited at the same time. “i like books that make me feel like i’m in love again”
robin was growing the love her mind, and emily was growing to love robin’s
once the bell rung, robin helped emily down from the countertop and walked with her until she arrived at the enterance of her classroom. it took her a few seconds to lose the smile she was sporting because of emily, which kind of bugged her. it was killing her vibe.
robin had realized that calculus was just going to have to be difficult if this was how she was going to show up to class everyday; struck and counting down until the class was over
once robin got to european history she saw emily once again, reading the scarlet letter and looking like she wanted to end herself and that book
“still not any good?”
emily put the book down as robin began to take her seat and ran both of her hands through her hair “i am constantly annoyed by every single one of the characters”
robin felt nervous as she asked her next question “were you serious about the saturday thing?”
emily started to laugh as she mocked robin “aww does freckles want to go on a date with me?”
robin rolled her eyes as she laughed with her “no its just a question”
the girl next to her briefly paused her laughter to raise her eyebrows in a “really” sort of format
“for clarification”
emily caught her breathe before looking robin in the eyes “freckles”
“yes?”
“would you do me the honor of fulfilling my lie that i said to avoid the biggest idiot in this school?”
robin was smiling, even though she wished she wasn’t “sure”
“great it’s a date”
next chapter
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hunterguyveriv · 5 years ago
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Swamp Thing Season 1, episode 7 thoughts:
Today’s episode was just simply beautiful and sad between Alec and Abby in a way you could only expect it to end the way it did. It had so many lying implications between the 2, then one can realize besides the whole “Protagonist not wanting to lose the one he loves.”
Don’t get me wrong I’ve wanted a Swamp Thing & Abby Arcane live action done right since I saw “The Return of Swamp Thing” in 1989/1990. But I just love the whole dynamic being stretched nearly to a near-fatal breaking point.
Accepting Alec - My thoughts on this is just a jumbled mess; it hurts: Accepting Alec played a massive part in this episode. Unlike the Abby Arcanes of the past - The Alan Moore Saga, The Return of Swamp Thing, or the New-52, or even the cartoon mini-series - it has taken her longer to accept Alec as Swamp Thing. Even after she learned from Susie, it was Alec the only time they really touched was briefly when she was suffering from the Darkness-Hallucinogens, and when he showed her what happened to Shawna. It wasn’t until after he tried saving her the Alec Holland-Way failed and had to save her the Swamp Thing-Way that she finally seemed to accept him for what he was now, even though she still wants to find a way to revert him back to human. 
I think the whole hallucination-power was a way to see what they truly wanted. He wanted to remain Alec for her and tried to give up the Swamp Thing persona, but came to the conclusion that if he did things the Alec Holland-Way, he was helpless. Abby also showed that she genuinely wanted Alec back to the way he was, but I am starting to think that was working against them. Think about it, in the previous he said he worried that accepting his new situation would take him further away from her, but they remained at least 10 feet apart from each other. 
Except for the few instances of him touching her, they always seem to have had some distance between them. Even weary on letting the other touch each other. But yet after the pollen made him look like Alec to her, it seemed like they were more willing to be close to one another even touch each other. More so after he fought The Rot off in her body. Up until this time, part of their relationship seemed very superficial on Abby’s part, but one can also argue that it was also superficial on Alec’s side, to want to be seen as “The Charming Man she knew.”
Ugh… I gotta get off this bit, or I am going to keep going turning this into an essay and want to bash my head in trying to wrap my mind around these thoughts.
Abby’s Purpose: In all of Swamp Thing, except for the cartoon mini-series and the 90s Live Action series which I can't remember if she was in it or not, Abby Arcane has always been his heart - his humanity if you will. She was the only one in the Alan Moore saga to keep reminding him of his humanity. That it didn’t matter if he was a sentient plant being with Alec Holland’s consciousness, in her eyes, he WAS Alec Holland. In the New-52 even after he became Swamp Thing and she became sensitive to “The Rot” and showed that she had Rot-Powers, she still reminded him of his humanity.
When he has been at the lowest or darkest point in his life, she would always be there to help him.
So far even though it is a mere fraction of what she has done compared to her comic book counterparts, she does seem genuinely vested to be that support he so desperately needs. She like her comic counterparts, even though she had trouble seeing him as Alec up until last weeks episode - she has always reminded him that he is Alec Holland. (which for the most part to us the viewers we don’t know if he IS STILL Alec Holland like the New-52 Alec who was dying from his wounds in which the Green turned him into the Warrior-King Swamp Thing or a Sentient Entity of the Green with his consciousness). But even if we do learn what continuity they decide to use, she NEEDS to be there for him, regardless of him not wanting her in the swamps of Marais. I just hope with the series being unfortunately canceled (and not being picked up elsewhere by the looks of it so far) it is done in a proper manner that doesn’t make it campy or they kill Abby off. I do want to see her in grievous danger, in which Swampy and possibly Daniel come to her aid.
A little off topic I do hope to see that they go the Alan Moore route, one that scene is just so powerful in the comics. This because after Woodrue mind-fucks him at Sunderland’s corporation building and deals with Woodrue, he searches for the body and buries it cutting ties to “the person who was once Alec” and was so resistant against Abby calling him Alec for the longest time - till he said she could. But that being said there is another reason why I hope they go this route and explore whether Swamp Thing is Alec Holland or not. I am a Guyver fan, in which death is no big deal to Guyvers because they regenerate newer bodies after their control medals have been ripped out of their heads. They very haphazardly explored the whole “If a the Guyver regenerates a newer body, is the person that same person or a shell of that person with their memories?”
Living as Alec & Alec’s Helplessness?: I kind of liked the idea that even though he was still Swamp Thing, and appeared to Abby as Alec, I liked how they did it. After a recent second viewing of yesterday’s episode, I think they (producers and writers) meant it to be like a test to not just Abby (in seeing if she could genuinely accept Alec the way he is) but a test for Alec. Earlier I mentioned the Alec Holland-Way, I think even as Swamp Thing he really wanted to live life as Alec would have. He also tries to desperately save Abby as Alec would have against the Rot, until realizing it wasn’t going to work out.
Now some of you may be saying, “whoa there, that doesn’t mean he is helpless!” But in doing things, the Alec-Way also contributed to Abby getting attacked by that tendril. As Swamp Thing, he would have possibly been able to stop that thing from punching her in the first place. Which even though I say that, I kind of like the idea of Alec struggling with the tendril, because in the New-52 continuity. For those wondering it was established that he begins to lose his power in areas profoundly affected by the Rot. Trying to live as Alec would have possibly weakened his power even more, because as Avatar of the Green, even in Rot Infested areas he should have been able to get it off of her and rip it to shreds.
A return to The Return of Swamp Thing?: I have to admit I loved Alec and Abby in the swamp together walking through it like a couple in love (Someone PLEASE do a video of Swamp Thing/Alec and Abby to this song when the series is over- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFmisnHehtg. It would make us Swamp Thing/Abby Old-Timers with no music video making knowledge happy). It was very reminiscent of Dick Durock’s and Heather Locklear’s wandering the swamp to me, even heard their original theme in my head during their scenes.��
Abby’s Darkness?: When Alec was desperately trying to save her, what if he merely prolonged something else in her? What if the Tendril was attempting to turn her into an Avatar of the Rot like she was in the New-52 saga? She mentioned “the darkness” in the euphoria of pain, and her skin tone and body started to appear like her new-52 counterpart. Now that being said, what if Alec using the green merely suppressed it? Because it is a possibility, he got a glimpse of the darkness of her own past when he took hallucinogenic-darkness away from her in episode 4. A crack theory I know, but I feel like that scene was supposed to mean something besides Abby getting attack and Swamp Thing dropping the Alec persona to save her. 
These are all the thoughts that have been running through my head and have plagued me for the last 15 hours @.@ I’m tired, and I don’t want to hurt my brain anymore tonight.
That being said other great highlights of were Maria stealing the Sunderland Company from Avery. Wasn’t overly excited over Lucilia and Matt’s scenes, if anything they have earned what’s coming to them. I still like the dynamic of James Woodrue and Caroline, you can genuinely see that James is so flat out determined to save his wife which kind of mirrors Abby being so committed to saving Alec. 
I do like the scene with Liz and Matt, however, mainly because, that in the Alan Moore Saga (which is like the holy grail of Swamp Thing lore) only 4 people knew of Alec being Swamp Thing before he was captured. Matt Cable, Abby Arcane-Cable, Liz Treymayne, and her husband. Thus far, it seems like the series is genuinely doing all of Swamp Thing (movies, comics, cartoons,   series) true justice while forging itself as a new identity for the Avatar of the Green.
With Abby going back to Atlanta, I can't wait to see scenes of her with Adrienne Barbeux’s Doctor Palomar and Abby together in a scene. Will they make her first name Alice (as in Alice Cable from the 1982 movie) Will Adrienne get a scene with both Swampy and Abby as if to pass the torch on to this new generation of Swamp Thing stars? Will she give Abby some guidance on what to do with particular Swamp creatures (lol)?
But I still have questions!
Where is that Good Boy Garou?
What happened to Susie?
What happened to Margaux?
Anyway, I am finally done with this post. I am off to go listen to some Godzilla movies as I drift off to sleepy land.
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fiction-phan · 7 years ago
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Workaholic
Day 14 of the 25 Days of Christmas
Summary: Dan and Phil can't stand each other but Phil's son loves Dan and Dan is actually a very good babysitter. Phil can't afford to lose him, no matter how much he hates him.
Words: 2.8k
Read it on AO3
A/N: This is actually one of my favourite fics so far so I really hope you enjoy it!
Phil  wasn't sure what he had ever done to deserve such a fate.  He couldn't understand why his son idolised Dan Howell and he couldn't stand him.
It put him in a very precarious situation where he had to be careful over what to say to Dan.  Anything too offensive or insulting could have him packing his bags and then his son would end up hating him. That's the last thing Phil wanted.
“I just put Alex to bed but we both know he won't sleep until you go tuck him into bed yourself,” Dan said,  walking into his office  without knocking.  Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
Phil got up and walked to his son’s bedroom but not before giving Dan a dirty look. “Would it kill you to knock before walking into my office?”
Dan ignored him and followed him to Alex’s bedroom. “Alex, your dad is here to tuck you in properly,” he said and smiled when he saw the look of joy on the child's face.
“Daddy!” Alex screamed,  throwing his arms up for a hug. “I didn't know you got back from your work trip. Dan and I had lots and lots of fun today.  We went to see the animals, and a man gave me a carrot to feed the horses.  Their mouths felt funny daddy.”
Phil grinned,  his son’s excitement was contagious. Seeing Alex smile like that was the reason he kept Dan around, regardless of his personal feelings towards the man. Dan connected with his son in a way none of the previous babysitters managed and Phil was grateful.  It was such a relief for him to see Alex happy when he left for business trips rather than tearful and throwing tantrums.
“ I wanted to surprise you,” Phil said,  leaning down to hug his son and sitting down next to his bed. “ I'm glad you had so much fun with Dan today.  Did you like the horses?”
“The horses were really cool,” Alex gushed, waving his arms around to show his excitement. “Then after the horses Dan took me to get an ice-cream and let me get two scoops, didn't you Dan?”
Dan smiled at him fondly and nodded. “I sure did. You deserved it for being so brave and feeding the horses. Next time we'll go to the zoo instead and visit a lot of different animals.”
Alex’s  answering  beam  made everything worth it for him. “ I'll go wash the dishes we used for dinner.  I'll leave you to tell your dad about everything we did today.”
Dan locked out of Alex’s bedroom but didn't close the door all the way. Instead of going to the kitchen like he said, Dan stuck around and peeked through the gap in the door.
“I'm glad you had so much fun with Dan today buddy,” Phil was saying, tucking the bedsheets around his son. “I know how much you like to spend time with him.”
Dan couldn't hold back a small smile. Phil was a completely different person when he was around Alex. With Alex he was sweet, loving and playful. When he was with Dan he turned into an arrogant bastard he loved to hate.
Dan moved away from the door and made his way to the kitchen before Phil could realise he was still there. He was in the middle of washing the dishes when Phil walked in. “You know you don't have to do that. Your job is babysitting Alex not washing the dishes.”
Dan shrugged. “I don't mind. There weren’t too many dirty dishes and I don't like leaving a mess behind me,” he said. He noticed Phil standing awkwardly near the door and rolled his eyes. “Did you need something?”
Phil stiffened at seeing Dan rolling his eyes but didn't comment on it. He needed a favour from him and getting in his bad books would not help him out. “I need you to look after Alex tomorrow.”
Dan dropped the dish in his hand and turned around to glare at him. “What do you mean you need me to watch him tomorrow? You gave me the day off and I remember you telling Alex you would spend the whole day with him tomorrow to make up for the business trip you just got back from.”
“An important meeting came up for tomorrow. It’s only for a day but I couldn't get out of it. I'm sure Alex won’t  mind that much, he loves spending time with you,” Phil said, failing to contain his bitterness.
“Of course he’s going to mind!” Dan snapped, throwing the dish towel on the table in anger. “This is the third time this month. You're always promising Alex you'll be spending the day with him only to cancel when a meeting or business trip comes up. No wonder he feels like you care about your job more than you care about him.”
Phil  was about to retaliate when Dan’s  words registered. “Wait,” he said, looking at Dan in horror.  “What do you mean he thinks I care about my job more than him? I swear to God Howell if you're making this up to get to me, I’ll -”
“I'm not making anything up,” Dan interjected before Phil could threaten him. “Alex had trouble sleeping these past three nights. He kept waking up in the middle of the night and coming to my room saying he is scared of sleeping on his own. Yesterday I slept next to him in the hopes he wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night. It didn't work, and he woke up sobbing and rambling about how you love your job more than him. He thinks he did something wrong.”
Phil tried to swallow but felt a lump in his throat. He knew that he was not around very much and his son missed him but he didn’t realise it got to where his son thought he didn't love him. Phil though Dan’s presence would be enough, but he was wrong.
Phil almost phoned his secretary right away to ask her to cancel the meeting, but he knew his company would suffer if he did that. “It's too late to cancel now,” he said, walking out to get away from Dan’s disappointed look. “I'll make it up to him.”
“You always say that.”
*
The morning after was hard on Phil. He had to pretend he didn't see Alex’s lip wobbling when he told him he had to go to work and that he didn't hear him crying in Dan’s arms when he closed the door behind him.
Phil wasn’t heartless. Alex was the most important person in his life and it broke his heart knowing he was the one causing his son pain. But he couldn't give up his job. It didn't mean Phil loved his job more than his son but he knew that sometimes sacrifices needed to be made.  Alex would understand once he was a little older.
At least that’s what Phil told himself on his way to work as an attempt at easing his guilty conscience. He tried convincing himself Alex would stop crying and get over his disappointment once Dan took him out for a day of fun.
“Dan has everything under control,” Phil said to himself,  ignoring the irony of putting everything in the hands of the person he was supposed to hate.
*
Barely an hour into the meeting, Phil realised it wasn't going to work. He kept thinking about Alex and whether Dan got him to calm down. As a result, he hadn't listened to a word that was said. What was the point of disappointing his son once again if he wasn't even going to take part in the meeting?
“I’m sorry, I can't do this,” he announced, standing up. He walked out of the meeting room without a backward glance,  uncaring of the repercussions.
Dan’s words the night before really struck a chord. He didn't want his son to grow up thinking his dad loves his job more than him. Phil kept saying Alex was the most important person in his life, but what good was that if he never showed it?
“Lisa,  I want you to cancel all my plans for this week; I'm taking the week off,” he said and walked out of his office before his secretary even had the chance to question him.
Phil was going to spend time with his son, and no one was going to stop him.
*
Phil got home just as Dan and Alex were about to leave for the park.
“Daddy!” Alex yelled, running up to his dad and throwing himself at him. “I thought you said you have an important meeting.”
“Turns out it wasn't that important,” he explained, ignoring the smug smile Dan was directing at him. “Do you mind if I join you at the park? It's been a while since I've been there.”
Alex looked as if Christmas had come early this year. It only made Phil feel guiltier for having ignored his son for such a long time. Alex shouldn't be looking so excited over getting to go to the park with his dad.
He was just about to tell Dan that he was no longer needed and he could take his day off when Alex grabbed his babysitter’s hand and dragged him over to Phil. “Come on Dan, we can teach my dad how to play Catch. The last time my dad and I played Catch together he lost, so he's not great but maybe he can beat you today.”
Phil didn't have to heart to tell Dan to leave when he saw how excited his son looked at the prospect of them playing Catch together.
Dan seemed to be on the same wavelength because he smiled and agreed with Alex rather than announce he was leaving. Phil would just have to deal with his presence.
“Come on then, let’s go to the park.”
*
Hanging out with Dan was weird. Phil found himself not knowing what to say. On one hand, he didn't want it to be awkward for Alex’s sake. But he had spent so much time hating Dan and everything he stood for that now it felt weird having to act civilly for more than a few minutes.
It seemed Dan was finding it just as strange, judging by the weird looks he was giving Phil when he thought he wasn't looking.
Seeing the way Dan behaved with Alex, Phil felt his hatred towards the man fade away. How could he hate someone who spent so much time making sure his son felt loved while he was away?
If it wasn't for Dan, Alex would not be the happy boy he was seeing right now and their relationship could have been too damaged to fix if Dan wasn't around to keep Alex company.
The longer he spent with Alex in Dan’s company, the more Phil realised the reason he hated Dan so much. It was jealousy. Seeing the close relationship Dan shared with the son, Phil couldn't help but feel jealous even though he knew he only had himself to blame for the closeness he lacked with his son.
Phil fooled himself into thinking he hated Dan for mundane reasons such as him not putting back Alex’s toys in their original place. After all the failed babysitters who wanted nothing to do with Alex, Phil should have been grateful that Dan stuck around through all of Alex's tantrums in the beginning.
Phil also knew that he owed Dan a thank you for what he said previously.  Phil thought his words to be hard and unnecessary. He didn't think it was the babysitter’s place to tell him that he wasn't spending enough time with his son.
Now he knew that if Dan hadn't spoken like that, he would not be spending the day with them at the park. Instead, he would be at the meeting, bored out of his mind.
Phil waited until Alex was busy going down the slide to talk to Dan. “Thank you,” he said, surprised to find he really meant it.
Dan looked just as shocked as he felt. “You’re thanking me without being sarcastic? That’s a first.”
Phil did not raise to the bait. He knew Dan was just trying to get a reaction out of him and Phil didn't want to do that. What he really wanted to do was explain himself. “Actually, I am. I know I haven't given you the best impression of myself,”  he said, ignoring the incredulous look Dan was aiming at him. “I’m aware I work a lot. That is something that will have to change. I can't keep putting my job before Alex and you made me realise that.”
“I always knew you love your son, in your own way. I just thought you had a funny way of showing it. It was difficult for me to understand how you could leave your son with a babysitter day after day while you went to work or on business trips that took weeks,” Dan explained with a shrug.
Now that they were talking in a civil manner, Phil could understand Dan’s point of view and why he would think like that. To the outside eye, he looked like someone who couldn't care less about his son. However, that couldn't be further from the truth. Phil just hoped Dan could see that now.
“I the rest of the week off. My secretary knows not to contact me this week unless it's an emergency. I plan on spending all my time with Alex and I was hoping you would join us,” Phil said,  having to hide a smirk when he saw the surprise on Dan’s face.
“You want me to hang around while you're spending time with Alex?”
Phil nodded. “You’re important to Alex, whether I like it or not. For the past few months, he’s every waking moment with you because I wasn't around. If you suddenly disappear for a week Alex will get upset and those are not my intentions. I know I promised you a day off, but I was hoping we could reschedule?”
Dan nodded, but he was still looking at Phil in suspicion. “Fine, I’ll spend the week with you. Let’s make one thing clear though,” he said, pointing at Phil. “I’m not doing this for you.  I'm doing this for Alex, because I don't want him to think I've abandoned him. Are we clear?”
“Crystal.”
*
1 year later….
“Dan!” Alex shouted, running down the stairs. “Daddy’s back!”
“No running down the stairs,” Dan called back, although he knew it would fall on deaf ears.
Dan was just as excited as Alex for Phil’s return. Phil had been gone for two weeks, on a business trip which would take his company to the next level. It was the longest business trip he had gone on ever since his conversation with Dan in the park.
He still had numerous meetings he needed to attend to but he no longer works the long hours he used to before. In the time he was away, Dan was more than happy to take care of Alex. Dan was just glad that Alex got his dad back.
Phil opened the door to find Alex and Dan waiting to greet him.
Alex got to him first, and he dived into his father’s arms, a grin lighting up his face. “I missed you so much Dad!”
“I missed you too, buddy. Did you have a nice time with Dan?”
“It was great! We went to the aquarium, the zoo and the playground…”
Phil wanted to hear all about the adventures his son got up to while he was gone, but first he wanted to greet his boyfriend properly. He waited for Alex to finish his current story and then spoke up before he could recount something else. “Hey Alex, how about you go wash your hands so we can have dinner and then I’ll give you the presents I bought you?”
“Presents!” Alex said, running out before Phil could say much else.
Phil pulled Dan in close for a kiss and smiled when his boyfriend’s arms wrapped around his neck. “Missed me?”
“You know I did,” Dan said, rolling his eyes. “As annoying as you can be, you are good company.”
Sometimes it still amused Phil to think of how they went from hating each other to dating in less than a year. After Phil cut down on work and spent more time at home, they bonded over their love for Alex. They took a long time to realise Alex was not what kept them coming back to each other, but they got there eventually.
“If I ever need to leave for so long again, I’m taking you both with me. I can’t stay without my boys for so long.”
Dan didn’t disagree. He pulled Phil in for another kiss that took his breath away before breaking it off to whisper in his ear, “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
A/N: What do you think?
Little health update for whoever cares: I went to the doctor today and he gave me antibiotics so my brain felt a little less mushy and I was able to write this. However, I had to miss my theory driving test which was not cool.
(11 days to go till the end of the 25 Days of Christmas!)
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