#and i had yesterday and today off regardless but i just tried to cancel my shift for today and i cant log in
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Monday 15th July 2024 10:09am
yesterday was a beautiful day for many reasons. I truly had a really good day lolđđ I did a small 40 min audition technique call with my mentor/friend and then got ready for work. Iâd missed all my trains and every Uber cancelled on me lol so I called my dad to drop me off and he did bless him. That man really risked his safety to get me to a station on time𼚠anyways i was late to work but like 26 mins lol. Work was also chill. Got to speak to Nolu and my brother very briefly. After work I was going to go home but decided to walk to Marble Arch with hopes that Iâd find a lime bike lol I managed to find several; none of which worked so I walked to Knightsbridge; same story. I finally found one on the corner of Knightsbridge station that was just right for me. I cycled around Hyde park like 3 times before venturing out and I ended up in South Kensington lol before deciding to head back to Charing Cross. Iâd never intentionally cycled from a point A to B before and really wanted to try something new so I did and I must say GREAT EXPERIENCE. I havenât felt so alive in a long time. The thrill, the danger, the knowing that Iâm getting there safely and trusting myself thru out the process. I remember saying when I couldnât find a bike âthis isnât over yet because Iâm not on a bike yetâ and I remember saying on the bike âthis isnât over until I get to Charing Crossâ and my god did I get back. I saw someone crash in Westminster too. Brutal scenes. Spoke to the family when I got home and watched half of the movie On The Count of Three. Great watch so far. OH YEAH/ I pulled a cramp whilst cycling near Westminster and just pushed thru it lol I felt like triple h when he tore his muscle and just kept wrestling thru it. I pulled it again as I got to Grove Park station. I couldnât walk at all as the cramp had taken both legs. I stood there as we all got off the train and tried walking and I couldnât. I sat for 5 and said âIâm getting home regardless of anythingâ and just powered thru that bitch. It was yesterday evening I gained a greater understanding of myself and the power of a positive mindset during what is perceived as a negative experience. Iâm truly more power and I thought before. All praises to the most high!
Today will be beautiful. So mote it be! Amen!
Uri
sign out time:10:27am
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Dear Universe Gods, Go to Bed
Me and my mates went up island for four days two weeks ago today and the trip was great. It was raining the whole time but that didnât really affect us too much. We had a wonderful time and life was chill and peaceful and nice. We should have known that this wouldnât last. Life tends to dismantle our happiness and stability far more than necessary and it did just that after our trip ended.Â
We have another overnight trip planned for next week on the mainland. Weâre going to a fan expo and the plan was to get photos with an actor we love from Stranger Things. Alas, the man cancelled due to filming schedules. This was depressing, but we still have other things to do there and two of us are delusional enough to assume itâs because heâs filming season five of Stranger Things despite dying in the last season, so his cancellation seems reasonable. We could manage this loss.Â
Then smaller inconveniences happened. One friend immediately burnt her thumb upon her return home from our trip. I nearly flooded my house because my toilet clogged when I got back. Days later, she broke her Converse. Another friend had an allergic reaction to tuna despite not being allergic to tuna and only peanuts. A couple days ago, a necklace I love broke at the chain and now I have to figure that out. This morning, the friend who was mildly poisoned by fish accidentally slammed her hand between a cart and a bin. Iâm not disabled enough to be taken seriously as disabled. My rent went up and my credit card paid itself off and the combination of the two has left me with less than two hundred dollars in my main bank account. It took three years of living on my own but I will now be surviving paycheque to paycheque which is fucking disappointing.
But the biggest, worstest, fuckiest absolute inconvenience of all that happened last Thursday was the sudden resignation of our precious nurse practitioner. The woman who all three of us saw every two weeks, who went way over our scheduled time to ensure we were taken care of and heard, who listened to us and helped us. She was gone even though we had an appointment scheduled the coming Monday. That was cancelled and we have been in hellish limbo ever since. With that hitting us among the other inconveniences, we have been in a dreadful fragile state. We have been hit, yet again, with the curse that plagues our group and forces us to remember what suffering feels like regardless of the fact we rarely stop suffering. I was ranting to myself for half an hour after learning that my one healthcare professional who is worthy of her title was gone. I was punching my couch and yelling and getting choked up and pacing around. I couldnât get ready for bed because I was so riled up.Â
Weâve all tried to figure out why we are fated to be slammed over the head by life so often. Were we all dictators and murderers in a past life? Do past lives work like that? Is the universe straight up after us just because? Are we secretly evil? Iâve tried convincing myself Iâm a terrible person, because horrible shit keeps happening, the same way Iâve tried convincing myself I was attracted to women, because thatâs what people assumed when they saw me. Iâm not, though. Iâm not gay for women even though I often wear flannels and want a Subaru Outback. Iâm not a terrible person either, Iâm completely average.Â
Iâve heard these misfortunes are supposed to make us stronger, humble, enlightened, grateful, in some way improved. I am not a better person because of this, any of this. Any of whatâs happened recently and whatâs happened over the course of my life has not made me better. Iâm angry and bitter and jaded and tired and I donât have time to help others because I can barely help myself. I donât like my fellow humans any more now than I ever did. In fact, I despise them more than I ever did. I donât have any more of an appreciation of my life now than all my yesterdays. I find it increasingly horrendous and unacceptable.Â
All any of us have control over is consuming food. Thatâs what we drown our sorrows in. I have devoured cupcakes, cookies, ice cream, and timbits. Food is the only thing we can guarantee. It is the only consistent comfort. I had to watch the Barbie movie just to cry all my stress out because I was so overwhelmed and I lost track of how many cookies I added to my bowl of ice cream for I couldnât see through the tears. You know how Oppenheimer quoted âNow I am become death, the destroyer of worldsâ? Now I am become void, the destroyer of sweets.Â
Iâm gonna have to write a strongly worded letter to the head office of the universe because I am dissatisfied with the results of life and would like compensation because eating my feelings is bad for my health.
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hm
#i havent worked in a bit because my brain hates me and ive just been canceling my shifts til i had the energy to go through the whole leave#request process#and i finally was able to get that requested a couple days ago#and i had yesterday and today off regardless but i just tried to cancel my shift for today and i cant log in#which i think means either the leave got approved already and they havent notified me yet or they decided to let me go#and i cant get into my work email and i havent checked it in like a week because i havent been working#but its entirely possible that they sent me an email about this since i checked it last but now i cant see it#so like i just have to wait i guess???#and like i cant even be that upset about it if they did let me go cuz like i havent worked in over a month i get it whatever#but i really dont like this whole not knowing thing#it is not helping#also its almost 7 am and i have not slept oops#and like they did mention that if the leave gets approved i wont have access to my work accounts until im approved to return#so its also possible that it got finalized over the weekend and theyre gonna email me on monday#but also i may have just lost my job and i wont even know for sure until like tomorrow#also also i used up my inhaler and i keep trying to call in a refill but i never get the notification that its ready to be picked up#like hello i would like to not be wheezing regularly thank you#sorry for the rant im just. oof rn#im trying to get my meds adjusted so i can get back to work because i cant do shit rn#but i may have just lost my insurance and i havent had any income for a month so im a little worried i wont be able to afford the meds#like the stuff that theyre having me try now is doing absolutely nothing so im gonna have to try something else#and theres no guarantee that the next one will do it#but i cant handle doing the whole job hunting thing as i am now#so like if i lose this job im just kinda stuck for a bit#and like if i didnt have to worry about paying for meds out of pocket id have enough savings for a couple more months#but if i lose my insurance idk how long my savings will last#and like im for sure not gonna lose my housing so its not as bad as it could be but im still stressy#which is not helping my mental health#which is the reason i havent been working#i just feel stuck idk
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road less travelled - m. tkachuk
I was throwing together a list of ideas yesterday, and this one stuck out to me for some reason. So I started writing, thankfully had a pretty free weekend, and finished today! It was a fun piece to right, I hope you all enjoy it! As always, I read all my tags, so reblogs are a writerâs best friend! Youâre also more than welcome to come into my inbox and yell at me if thatâs more your speed.
word count: 4.5k+
March 18 (thurs)
Elsie couldnât believe she had gotten herself in this situation again. Every time she woke up in his bed she swore it was the last time, but one drunken mistake turned into another, which turned into a threepeat, and now she wasnât so sure it had been a mistake in the first place. There was just something about Matthew Tkachuk, something so intoxicating that she was able to ignore the every fiber of her being that was screaming at her to stop this, stop things before it turned sour. Stop it before her brother found out.Â
It had been easy enough to keep things from Johnny when they first started hooking up; theyâd meet at a crowded bar, somewhere where the cover of anonymity was all but guaranteed, or a late-night text, a few words by the other communicating everything they needed to know. He was lonely. And Elsie Gaudreau was the only one who could help. It had been easy enough to keep things from Johnny at the start, but then they started texting before 11 PM, and then they decided they were exclusive, and then, Matty decided that it was about time that they put a label on it. And suddenly it wasnât so easy to keep their secret anymore.Â
The team knew that he was seeing someone, but much to everyoneâs surprise, he had said precious little about their relationship. He called her Leigh in the locker room, or out with the boys â her grandmotherâs middle name, one he felt toed the line as well as possible between complete fabrication and some semblance of the truth â and they knew the couple had been together for a few months, that she made him laugh, and that he was more into her than they had seen him act with anyone in recent memory. She didnât come to events because she was shy, Matthew said, and he didnât want to subject her to the kind of spotlight he knew she might be scrutinized under the moment they went public. He wasnât lying when he said sheâd been to games â Elsie usually made it to a few a month, usually on Johnnyâs invitation â but left out the part where she wore the number 13 in the stands instead of 19, or where she caught a ride home with her brother after media availability instead of her boyfriend, the man sheâd been sleeping with for the past five months.Â
âLeaving already?â Matty mumbled, slinging one arm over her waist as Elsie tried to sit up.Â
She twisted over, kissing him softly. His stubble tickled her cheek. âGot class, remember?â Of course he remembered. Class was the whole reason she was in Alberta; most of it, at least. She had done her undergrad in astrophysics at Wellesley in Massachusetts, and when the time had come for her to decide where to do her graduate studies, Johnny had been all too quick to offer up Calgary. âItâs a great program!â he had said. And it was, but Elsie also had her doubts that her brother knew much about astronomy beyond the ability to find the Great Dipper on a clear day. They had always been close, even when he went to go play in Dubuque when she was 13, but their time together had naturally been more than a little limited ever since he turned pro. So when the opportunity arose for them to be in the same city full-time for the first time in a decade, he was jumping at the prospect of being able to look after his younger sister again. And, especially after he offered to pay her tuition, she wasnât about to say no. International fees didnât come cheap.Â
Matty groaned, pawing at her hand as she got up from the bed, throwing the covers back over him. âDo you have to go?â he whined.Â
Elsie rolled her eyes. âItâs an 8 AM, and itâs,â she glanced at her watch, âalready 7. Iâd love to stay in bed with you, babe, but Iâve still got to eat and get dressed and grab all my stuff. Plus, itâs at least fifteen minutes to drive and find a place to park, so Iâve got to build that in too.â
âI still think itâs dumb that they make you pay to park at your own school. Youâre already paying tuition, plus you TA that one course, so itâs not like youâre doing nothing for them,â he said.
âItâs dumb,â she agreed.
Matthew clicked his tongue. âItâs highway robbery, is what it is, Els.â
She laughed, bending over the bed to run a hand through his curls. She loved those curls. âBe that as it may, Matty dear, Iâve still got to get there on time. Experimental space physics waits for no man.âÂ
He pouted. âFine.â
Elsie shot him a sympathetic look. âIâll try to swing by after my classes let out, how does that sound?â
âCanât. Johnny and some of the guys are going to be over after morning skate, weâre going out to lunch then theyâre coming back here. Iâll call you if they donât stay too late?â he proposed, looking over at her.Â
She gave a tight smile. âWorks for me.â
---
Matthew couldnât believe he had managed to keep things from Johnny for as long as he had. As pretty much anyone could tell you, he was the worldâs worst secret-keeper off the ice, and even more so when it came to his friends. And every time Johnny would lean over to him in the locker room, showing him a picture Elsie had posted on Instagram, or recount a story from the intro astronomy class she TAâd, he had to bite his lip and pretend like he hadnât been the one to take the picture, or he hadnât been the first to hear about the kid who didnât believe you couldnât see the Southern Cross from Alberta. As much as Matthew hated it, he knew that part of what made his relationship with Elsie so exhilarating was the illicit nature of the whole thing. Something about sneaking around with your best friendâs little sister made everything that much more exciting.Â
The first time they hooked up hadnât been a mistake, but it hadnât been planned in any possible sense of the word. Elsie had moved to Calgary in August, a few weeks before everyone had stated trickling back into Alberta for training camp. Matthew was pretty sure it was mostly Johnny not wanting her to only be surrounded by âspace nerdsâ â his words, not Mattyâs, because while he had endless admiration for his sisterâs dedication and academic skill, he understood approximateky 0.2% of what she was studying â all day, so by late September or so, she had established herself as a core member of the Flamesâ âgoing-outâ group. Which led to one particular night at a bar in October, with Johnny having already headed home thanks to an early breakfast with his fiancĂŠe and most of the rest of the group leaving around midnight. And it was a Friday, so Elsie had let herself have a few more drinks than usual; the team didnât have practice until noon, so Matthew let himself shrug off any worry of a hangover. And Matty and Elsie already knew each other, so they got to talking, then they got to drinking, then they got to kissing. And then Elsie cancelled her Uber to get into Matthewâs, and before she knew it they were stumbling through his doorway, her fingers tangled in his curls and her legs wrapped around his waist as he walked her back to his bedroom.
There were a few people who knew the truth, and only a few people. Matthew had Brady and his mom. His logic being, as soon as Brady knew he was even vaguely interested in someone, he never took no for an answer and would have annoyed her name out of him regardless of whether or not he was being particularly forthcoming with any personal information. His mom because if he needed any advice, if he needed someone to turn to that wasnât the incredibly vague commentary he gave the boys in the locker room, he wanted to have someone there who wouldnât judge him and would have his best interests at heart. Okay, scratch that. Chantal definitely judged him, lifting her eyebrows over FaceTime as he called to break the news. She knew Elsie from the one trip with Johnny sheâd made out to St. Louis and the times the Tkachuks had travelled up to Canada to visit the boys, and as much as she told Matthew that keeping it a secret was just about the worst thing he could do to his friend, she couldnât say she was exactly surprised he had fallen for Elsie.Â
Elsie had Ines, her best friend from college. It was easier with her, much more straightforward with a lot fewer of the conflicts of interest she felt she got with talking with anyone in the âhockey world.â Ines knew hockey, she obviously had met Johnny and some of the other boys before. Wellesley was only a twenty-five minute drive away from the Boston city center, so the one time a year the Bruins played Calgary at home sheâd go with Elsie. But Ines was compassionate, objective, and one of the smartest people Elsie had ever met in her life. She didnât have any stake in the matter that wasnât named Elsie Gaudreau, and she wasnât about to mince her words because she was afraid of what Matty â or Johnny for that matter â would think. So there were people who knew, but the list was very short and, at least for the time being, they wanted to keep it that way.
For anyone on the outside looking in, who didnât know them as well, they might have said that it was a long time coming. âItâ being Matthew and Elsieâs relationship. And, if she was being honest, Elsie might have agreed. She knew Matty since he joined the team; he and her brother were thick as thieves from the beginning, and heâd visited them on the East Coast pretty much every summer since his rookie year. Visited Johnny. Not her. Johnny had made it crystal-clear from the beginning that under no circumstances was their relationship ever allowed to proceed beyond friendly.Â
And it didnât. For four years, almost, it didnât. Sure, Elsie may have carried a torch for him from the moment they were introduced, but she was far too concerned about Mattyâs physical and mental well-being to pursue anything. Even if, once or twice, she could have sworn that he felt something too. But then she moved to Calgary for grad school, and Johnny started bringing her out with the boys, and she finally got to see him in his element, really in his element. She got to see Alternate Captain Matthew Tkachuk, the one whoâd go to the ends of the earth for his team, who would score goals and drop gloves and do whatever needed to be done whenever it needed to be done. And it didnât hurt that Matty looked hot as fuck whenever he got into fights, his curls flying as he stuffed his helmet under an arm, skating over to the penalty box. It only hurt that she had let herself fall for him.
March 22 (mon)
Johnny was over at Matthewâs apartment; he had come over under a pretense of going over some tape from their last road trip, but it had quickly devolved into a very heated game of Super Smash Bros before the pair took a break for dinner. âDude, your laundryâs in the way,â Johnny said as he made his way to the bathroom, Matthew staring at the half-cooked pot of pasta on his stove.Â
âItâs clean, you can just dump it in my room,â he called down the hall. He didnât hear the tell-tale click of the bathroom door, so he looked down the hallway, only to be greeted by a site he hoped heâd never have to see.Â
A conspiratorial grin on his face, Johnny held a black, lacy pair of panties between two fingers. His sisterâs panties. The half-second it took for Matthew to reach, jumping forward and grabbing them out of his hands, unfortunately wasnât enough. He held them behind his back, almost as if he was hoping that if Johnny couldnât see them, they werenât really there.Â
âLeighâs?â he asked, raising one eyebrow.Â
Matthew rubbed his temples with the hand that wasnât holding the panties. âYeah. Just...Pretend you never saw those, okay?âÂ
Johnny rolled his eyes. âWho would I tell? The boys? They wouldnât care. You? You already know. Elsie?â Matthew froze. âSheâd just slap me and get mad at invading your privacy.â
âAnd you are,â Matthew mumbles, stuffing the panties into his back pocket.Â
Johnnyâs brow furrowed; he leaned up against the doorframe. âSeriously, though, Chucky. Whatâs going on with you and this girl? You know everyone respects your decision to keep things quiet and private, but Iâm your best friend on the team.â The look on his face betrayed the hurt he felt inside. âI would have thought youâd say something, to me at least.â
Matthew let out a deep breath. How was he going to talk his way out of this one? âI know, and I feel bad that it seems like Iâve been keeping things from you.â But he was keeping things. Very important things. âI think with Leigh and I, we just want to take things slow, make sure what we have is real. And I think it is,â he said, hazarding a glance at his friend. âI donât know if itâs love, yet, but I donât think Iâve ever felt this way about a girl before. But we both agree that we need to know before we open it up to the opinions of the rest of the world, before she gets shoved into the public eye. And she understands what thatâs like better than most, but itâs still not fair.âÂ
Johnnyâs ears perked. âBetter than most?â Matthew froze. âWhat is she, like an Instagram model or something?âÂ
He smirked, pushing him with one hand. âNo, sheâs not.âÂ
Johnny realized quickly that he wasnât going to be getting any more information out of Matthew anytime soon, so much to his chagrin, he dropped it. Johnny left Matthewâs apartment that night with a weird taste in his mouth, but he couldnât quite put his finger on what it was. And he didnât like that.Â
April 3 (sat)Â
Everyone was at Gioâs house, one of his quarterly team barbecues that had quickly become one of Matthewâs favorite things as soon as he joined the team. By âeveryone,â that meant the players and their families, kids, partners, parents if they were in town. Johnny hadnât invited Elsie â he assumed sheâd be getting ready for finals, which was true, but Matthew knew she could have spared an afternoon â and Matthew couldnât think of a way to invite her himself without arousing suspicion, so she was back in her downtown apartment while the boys were busy grilling up an inhuman amount of meat for dinner.
After everyone ate and the dishwasher had been loaded, someone decided to light the fire pit, and the conversation turned to relationships. For once, Matty didnât tune out.âItâs the little things, you know?â Gio said, tipping back his beer. âWhen I see Lauren in my jersey at the games, or when sheâs fallen asleep on the couch waiting for us to get back from a road trip. Makes you realize that what really matters isnât so much how many goals you score or how big a contract you have. It boils down to the quality of people in your life, and weâve got some good ones.âÂ
âItâs the same thing with Leigh and I,â Matthew said. His words caused everyone to listen. There were precious few times Matthew willingly volunteered information about his relationship, and as much as his teammates genuinely did respect their penchant for privacy, that didnât mean they wanted any fewer details. âSometimes when she stays over and doesnât have anywhere to be the next day, Iâll walk out to the kitchen and sheâll just be dancing around the stove, making pancakes and singing along to a Fleetwood Mac song. Usually takes her a minute or two to notice me.âÂ
The guys laughed, and Matty took a long pull of his beer. He wasnât really risking anything by saying that. Plenty of people liked Fleetwood Mac. âAnd sheâs got this little scar behind her right ear, got it from falling out of a tree as a kid. She always tries to cover it up, but I like it better when she lets it show.â Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was Mattyâs frustration about not being able to say anything about the woman he was falling in love with finally coming to a head, that made him say something he maybe shouldnât have.Â
He realized, as he hesitantly met Johnnyâs eyes, and could see the gears in his head turning, that he definitely shouldnât have said anything. Johnny was looking in between his beer and Matthew, then Matthew and his beer, then his hands and Matthewâs, which were tapping nervously on the arm of his deck chair. And then he started to put things together. The orange blossom soap at Matthewâs apartment â Elsieâs favorite scents were citrus. Fleetwood Mac was one of her favorite bands. Their maternal grandmaâs middle name was Leigh. And the scar. He remembered the day she got it, falling off an oak tree in their backyard in New Jersey, running into the house to get their mom and then in the car to the emergency room with a six-year-old Elsie who needed four stitches from the accident. And with an extremely uncomfortable feeling, he realized that that more likely than not, that meant the pair of panties he had picked up that one afternoon in Matthewâs apartment had been hers. He wanted to throw up.Â
Matthew was sweating as Johnny finally looked him in the eyes, realizing that the secret he and Elsie had tried so hard to keep for so long wasnât going to be a secret much longer. âMatthew,â he began, his voice dangerously low. Matthew winced. He couldnât remember the last time Johnny had called him by his first name. âHer nameâs not Leigh, is it.â He said it like a statement, because, well, it was. He knew the answer, he just needed to hear it from someone other than himself, that the one thing he had asked of his best friend had apparently proven too much.Â
Matthew shook his head slowly. âNo.â Everyone elseâs eyes flitted between the pair, Markstrom and Gio and Andersson and everyone else very clearly confused.Â
âSomething going on here?â Gio asked carefully.Â
âTell them what her name is, Matthew.â Matthew squeezed his eyes shut. If he didnât see everyoneâs reactions, everyoneâs disappointed faces, maybe they wouldnât happen.Â
âElsie.âÂ
âElsie what?â he prompted.Â
âElsie Gaudreau,â Matthew finished. You could have heard a pin drop, the backyard was so silent.
 âDude, youâre dating his sister?â Noah asked.Â
Matthew nodded, one hand still tightly gripping his bottle.Â
âHow long?â Johnny asked, looking him straight in the eyes.Â
âJust under six months,â Matthew admitted.Â
He sucked a breath in. âYouâve been dating my sister for six fucking months and nobody ever thought to maybe, I donât know, tell me?â
âIt didnât start as dating, we were justââÂ
Johnny cut him off. âI can see where thatâs going, and I donât want to fucking hear it, Matthew. This was the one thing I asked you to not do. Youâre a fucking All-Star NHL player, Matt. You could have any girl you wanted, you could wheel half of Calgary and I wouldnât care as long as everyone was into it. But my little sister? The one person I told you years ago was off-limits? You had to fall for Elsie?âÂ
âIââ Matthew stammered as he set his drink down. âI didnât expect anything to happen. Neither of us did. But then it did, and I fell for her, and for some ungodly reason sheâs decided to stay with me, and I donât know, Johnny,â he finished weakly. âI felt terrible about keeping it from you, and for what itâs worth, Elsie does too. I feel awful about how you found out, you deserved better than this. But I wonât apologize for my feelings.â
Johnny scoffed, standing up and grabbing his keys. âShe deserves better.â
April 4 (sun)
The first thing Matthew did the next day was go over to Elsieâs house. He had already called her the night before to tell her what happened; even if he didnât, she had the numbers of half the guys on the team and more than one had texted her to check in after seeing how Johnny left things. When he opened the door, Elsie wasnât doing well, to put it mildly. She was sitting on her couch, wrapped up in a blanket with a barely-touched mug of tea on the coffee table in front of her. She gave him a weak smile as he walked over. âHey.â
He bent down, kissing the top of her head. âHey, Els. How are you doing?â
âNot great.â At least she didnât try to hide, not like it would have been any use with Matthew. He could read her almost as well as her own parents could. âI tried to call him last night and this morning, sent a few texts, just trying to explain. Asking to talk. But he hasnât responded to anything, I called my mom and she said she hasnât heard anything either.â
Matthew sat on the couch beside her. âHe hasnât talked to Gio either.â
She rested her head on his shoulder; his fingers carded through the soft hair at the base of her neck. âI feel like itâs my fault,â Elsie said despondently. Coming in between her brother and one of his best friends was the last thing she would have wanted, and she was starting to feel like everything was falling apart because of her. âIt never would have happened if I wasnât there,â she mumbled into Mattyâs shoulder.Â
Matthew immediately shook his head. âNo, no, donât say things like that, babe. Itâs not your fault, donât put all the blame on you. Everyone dropped the ball on this one, and you shouldnât have to take responsibility for how your brother decided to react.â
They were jolted out of their relative peace by a frantic knocking on the door. Elsie furrowed her brow. âIâm not expecting anyone?â she questioned as she threw the blanket off of her lap, She opened the door to see Johnny, staring bashfully down at his hands, an apologetic look on his face.Â
âIâm sorry,â he said.Â
Elsie raised her eyebrows. âYou should be.â After a moment, she stood aside to let him in the door.
He scratched the back of his neck, avoiding Matthewâs eyes. âI talked to Mom, she kind of chewed me out about the whole thing. Not talking to you when you called or texted, the way I kind of blew up at you yesterday,â he nodded at Matthew, âbut mostly the leaving. Neither of you deserved that. You deserved to have a chance to sit down, explain yourselves, and have an adult conversation.â A flash of regret shot through his eyes, which steeled again as soon as he saw Matthewâs arms around Elsie, who had returned to the couch. âBut that doesnât mean I like it. Iâm still pissed that you went behind my back, and that you two decided to do the one thing I asked you not to do, and how you blindsided meââ
âYouâre not my dad, Johnny. You donât get to decide how I live my life,â Elsie said sharply.
He screwed his eyes shut. âI know, but I love you and I donât want anything bad to happen to you, andââ
âNo more âands.â I know you donât like it, Johnny. Youâve made that much very clear,â Elsie said in frustration. âPretty much everyone knows that if you could make a list of guys you wanted to date your little sister, Matthew Tkachuk would be in last place. But just think,â she paused, looking up at her brother. âThink about all the things you said to look for in a guy when I started getting old enough to date. Divorce who Matty is from your feelings about us being together. You always gave me three things. Someone who cares about me. Someone who respects me. And someone whoâs honest.â Johnny nodded, his hands in his pockets. âMatty is all of that and more, Johnny. He treats me better than anyone Iâve ever been with, and I love him. And thatâs what youâve always wanted for me. Nothing more and nothing less.âÂ
Johnny leaned up against the bookshelf. âI guess youâre right.âÂ
Elsie cracked a tiny grin. âIâm sorry, what was that?âÂ
He groaned in response. âDonât make me say it again, Iâm not going to.â She shrugged. He looked between her and Matthew, sighing. âI overreacted, and Iâm sorry about that. If you love him,â Elsie smiled, âand he cares about you,â Matthew frantically nodded, âthen thereâs really nothing more I could ask for. I think it just hurt that you two felt like you couldnât come to me as soon as things progressed, as soon as you got together.âÂ
âWe were afraid youâd react like you did,â Elsie said, reaching over to grab Mattyâs hand. âWe never wanted to hurt you, and I might only be speaking for myself, but I think I was worried youâd try to come between us, or say something about the relationship, orâŚâ She trailed off. âI donât know. Sure, you shouldnât have reacted that way, but youâre not the only one to blame. We shouldnât have kept things from you, or from Mom and Dad for that matter.âÂ
Johnny laughed. âHonestly? Iâm pretty sure Mom called it from the beginning.â Elsie frowned. âWhat do you mean?â âYou know when Matty came over to Jersey in the summer when you guys were about 20, and we all took that vacation on the beach?â She nodded. âThere was one time when she saw you together, running into the ocean together. You were laughing as hard as Iâve ever seen you, Matthew was splashing water back at you, and you kept trying to tackle him into the waves. Mom, Dad, and I were back up on the beach. She just looked at you two, looked at me, and smiled.âÂ
Matthew rubbed his thumb over the back of Elsieâs hand. âYou think she knew?â he asked curiously.Â
Johnny nodded. âI think she knew even before you guys figured it out for yourselves.â
âHow could she tell?â Elsie asked.Â
Johnny gave a soft smile, looking over towards the couple. âYouâve never been a good liar, Elsie. And you canât hide love.â
#hockey imagines#hockey smut#hockey writing#hockey imagine#hockey#nhl imagines#nhl imagine#nhl smut#nhl writing#nhl#Matthew Tkachuk#matthew tkachuk writing#rat king
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Forgive Me
Summary:Â It only seemed more prevalent, now more than ever, that people like him didnât deserve people like you.
Word Count: 4.8k+ Words
Pairing: Natsuo x Reader (21+)
Warnings: blood, death, gang organization involvement, gun use, sexual content, explicit language, and angst
A/N: First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MAIN MAN NATSUO TODOROKI!! And I also want to say thank yâall so much for 2k followers! You make my heart ache. To celebrate, I wrote this self-indulgent mafia au fanfic that nobody asked for. I honestly just wanted to write Todorokis involved in organized crime.Â
All the Japanese in here is from Google Translate. It most likely butchered it, so Iâm sorry about that. I tried.Â
Some things to mention: *Yakuza: Basically, the Japanese mafia *Oyabun: The leader of the organization *Onna-Oyabun: The spouse of the leader. It really translates to the âwife.â I tried to keep things gender neutral, however, I couldnât find a gender neutral term for this. Please forgive me!
Thank you for ridin with me, yâall! Enjoy this one, hotties â¤ď¸  Â
Forgive Me
All Natsuo had ever wanted for you was normalcy. Call it wishful thinkingâhis siblings called it naivety. However, there was nothing more the young successor wished for than for you to have the life you deserved. One filled with love, laughter, and smiles. Not tears, blood, and bullets.
He wanted you to be able to come from work or class with a head full of things for the two of you to gossip about over dinner and ice cream. He wanted to be able to cancel his day and take you to that one amusement park you always talked about. He wanted the petty arguments about whose turn it was to do the dishes and whose brownie recipe was better.
Natsuo wanted that for you. Not this.
Your shared room suddenly felt cold and rigid as he stood by the doorway. The sight of your body curled into the sheets, hoping the mattress would swallow you up, made his heart ache. There was no movement except for the slow rise of your breathing as you stared at the wall next to the bed.
Natsuoâs grey eyes focused on the bandage patched to your ear and was brought back to the events prior. An event that had been the reason why he couldnât have spent the evening in your arms.
[Earlier]
Since having been introduced into the Todoroki lifestyle, life had been hectic. You had been ripped away from your normalcy and propelled into the yakuza* game. It was seeped in cruelty, darkness, and evil that would make you spend nights shivering.
Ever since you had been engaged to Natsuo, your exposure only grew worse. Your fiancĂŠ would spend nights apologizing, but youâd only quiet him with a kiss and a small joke.
It wasnât his fault. His older brother, Touya, was âdeceasedâ. It was against tradition for Fuyumi to have it, and Shouto was too young. He would have to be the next Oyabun* and, despite his unwillingness, there was nothing anyone could do about it.
But that wasnât something to dwell on. Especially today. Today, you had plans to go shopping with Fuyumi and Shouto and end the night with some well-deserved quality time with your husband-to-be. You had rarely seen anyone due to yakuza activity, so this was something you were looking forward to.
You smoothed down your outfit, adjusting your watch in the mirror. You gave yourself a nod, liking what you saw.
Natsuo came from around the corner, eyeing you with a glint you knew all too well. He apparently liked what he saw too.
âHi,â he said, smiling into your kiss.
âHey,â you grinned. You flattened the collar of his shirt where his tattoo peeked from his neck. âYou look good.â
He was quick to respond. âYou look better.â
âYou flatter me,â you chuckled. âDid you pick where weâre eating for dinner later?â Â
âI made reservations for the seafood restaurant you like so much. The one with the lights by the ocean.â
âOooo with the parmesan crusted flounder and the stuffed oysters?â
He hummed a yes and laughed as you did a little dance expressing your excitement. You couldnât wait to stuff your face. While being classy of course.
âWhat time?â
â6:30. Is that okay?â
âYeah, that should give âYumi, ShoSho, and I enough time to shop around.â You turned to the mirror to put some last-minute touches to your hair. âWe still have to find an outfit for your motherâs event Friday. You know your brotherâs a lowkey diva about that stuff so itâs gonna take hours.â
A sudden slap on your ass made you yelp and just as you were about to cuss him out, Natsuo captured your lips in a kiss that made your knees buckle. He slowly explored your mouth, committing every taste to memory. Your hands massaged the nape of his neck and it had him growling in your ear.
âWhy donât you skip the shopping today and we can start on dinner now?â he suggested, loving the moan he got from you as he sucked on your neck.
As much as you adored the offer, you werenât going to pass up the chance to get out of the house. Youâd been cooped up in there for too long. Not even his dick could get you out of this.
You pushed him off of you, laughing as he bit the air between you, trying to put his lips back on you.
âNatâNatsuo. Stop it. I promised them Iâd go shopping today, so no. Besides, Iâm already running late. I was supposed to meet them at 1 and itâs 1:30.â
âBut you just look so good, baby.â He managed to pull you flush against his chest, mischief in his eyes. You gave him a look when his hands went to go grab a handful of your ass. âIâm sure they wonât mind if you're just an hour more late,â he said, going back to lay claim to your lips.
If last nightâs sex was a testament to anything, youâd be here for much longer than an hour. If you didnât get your ass to the car, youâd be stuck at home and his siblings would have your head.
âBoy, if you donât get off me, Iâll tell Fuyumi youâre keeping me hostage again. Sheâll sick Shouto on you,â you threatened.
At the thought of his sister and brotherâs nagging, he rolled his eyes and backed off. âUgh, youâre such a killjoy. Fine, whatever.â You hummed in triumph and turned to walk away. Natsuo gave another hard slap to your backside again and you sent him back a glare that made him smirk.
âNatsu,â you warned.
âYou better get in the car quick before I really decide to keep you here.â
âKeep it in your pants, horndog,â you bit.
âKeep that ass away and we wonât have problems,â he playfully retorted.
You smacked your teeth but hid the growing smile on your lips. That man would be the death of you.
âŚ
Despite your wishes, you ended up being an hour late. Natsuo tried to play innocent underneath his siblingsâ threats but stopped the act once they pointed out the growing hickey on your neck.
He was waved off, much to his chagrin, when he told the three of you to be wary of your surroundings and reminded you of the security guards that would be following close by. He finally left for his meeting with few choice words and a kiss promising his return.
Fuyumi grabbed your arm and gave you a smile that was contagious. âNow that Natsu stopped hogging you, we can finally hang out!â she cheered. âThe outlet just opened up a few new stores weâve been eyeing for a while now!â
Shouto nodded in agreement. âIâve been waiting all week to use my fatherâs credit card.â
âDidnât you buy a fur coat yesterdayââ
âThatâs besides the point.â
Once Shouto took your other arm, the three of you spent your time going from store to store. At first, the objective was to find outfits for the party Friday, however you three had become easily distracted with the sight of a smoothie stand.
A couple hours had gone by, and not much was done. Although you might have wasted time (and money) shopping at miscellaneous stores, neither one of you cared.
It had been so long since you laughed so freely. With Endeavor across the ocean, things were steadily heating up. Enemies took his leave as an open shot and the Todoroki siblings were obliged to reinforce why their family reigned supreme. Due to that, it seemed no one could go a day without stressing over something.
Between that and Natsuoâs near-obsessive mission to keep you safe and away from the details of the yakuza, you were forced to stay in the house twiddling your thumbs with constant security around you.
Feeling so useless drove you crazy. No matter how many times you tried to get your fiancĂŠ to let you help, he would always give you a firm no. Fuyumi and Shouto tried their best to keep you out of it as well. Even Dabi warned you about wanting something so dangerous. Â
It was frustrating, but you tried to understand. Regardless, having the chance to hang out with your friends like old times was a saving grace and youâd enjoy it to its fullest.
Eventually, you three made it to the boutiques and clothing departments. Shouto had already gotten a suit tailored so it was left with you and Fuyumi.
Your soon-to-be sister-in-law found an extravagant gown that stole your breath. The crimson dress hugged her body in all the right places, accentuating the softness of her feminine figure and the coolness of her kind eyes. It was beautifully bold statement speaking to the fire within Fuyumi many seemed to miss. But no one would overlook that spirit with a dress like that. Her measurements were taken, and the dress was quickly swiped off the rack and sent to the tailor.
Your clothing didnât come easy. Fuyumi was indecisive and Shouto was a harsh critic.
âHmm, that oneâs too much.â
âNope, not enough.â
âToo loose.â
âToo tight.â
âNo.â
âHell no.â
âIâm pretty sure someone from the Nanu family wore that in 2016. Next.â
It had taken nearly an entire hour before the three of you found your outfit. Something that had caught your eye was soon being shimmied over your body. When you stepped out of the dressing room, you were relieved when Fuyumi nearly cried and Shoutoâs bi-colored eyes twinkled with satisfaction. The material was comfortable on your body and the pigment made your skin color brilliantly glow. It moved and swayed like it was meant for you. It just felt right.
âThatâs the one,â Shouto smiled.
âYou think so?â you asked, checking over the detailing.
âYouâre going to steal the show, as always, Y/N,â Fuyumi gushed. âThe most beautiful Onna-Oyabun* the yakuza have seen this generation.â
At the mention of the word, you casted your eyes downward. âRight. Iâm going to be the new Onna-Oyabun,â you sighed.
The two Todorokis caught the heaviness of your tone and looked at one another in sadness. They were privy to the burdens of this family and the titles that came along with it. Your reaction wasnât abnormal, but the despondent gleam in your eyes was still hard to sit with.
âY/Nââ
The sound of Shoutoâs phone cut off his words. As he listened to the quiet words from the other line, his eyes began to harden. The store clerk kept you busy, but Fuyumi noticed his sudden rigidness.
Her brotherâs eyes flicked towards the door and she caught the sight of more their bodyguards surrounding the boutique, hands on their weapons.
There were a few more words said before Shouto spoke.
âAnata wa mĹru o torikakonde imasu. Natsuo wa 5-bu de soto de aimasu.â (Keep the mall surrounded. Natsuo will meet us outside in five minutes.)
Fuyumi met her brotherâs eyes once more and understood the situation.
âSo, the seamstress said sheâll tighten around the waist and add more fabric to the end. Itâll be ready by tomorrow evening,â you said to them.
Shouto excused himself while Fuyumi walked towards you, a practiced smile on her lips.
âPerfect. Now letâs get you changed and out for your date. Natsuo will be here any minute.â
âŚ
The car ride to the restaurant was filled with your rambling about the day and Natsuoâs usual teasing. When he got into the car after speaking with his siblings, he seemed very tense. So you were happy you were able to get him to relax. Work mustâve put him on edge, and you were determined to let the rest of your night come stress free.
When you got there, he helped you out of the car and you made your way to the door. You were surprised to see who was standing by the entrance.
âDabi?â
âHey there, doll,â he said behind an easy smirk. He kissed the back of your hand. âStill see youâre with this punk. Tragic.â
You tried to hide your giggle as Natsuo punched his brotherâs shoulder.
âBack off, brick-face. Lookinâ like a burnt raisin.â
âYou wound me,â Dabi faux gasped.
âWhat are you doing here?â you asked.
Although Dabi kept his eyes on you, he felt his brotherâs stare on his face.
âJust doing some patrol. Heard you were coming around and couldnât pass up the opportunity to say hi to my new favorite Todoroki,â he responded coolly.
You quirked your brow at that. âDid something happen?â
Dabi opened the door. âNah, nothing you need to worry about. You just enjoy your dinner for me, yeah?â
Before you could say anything more, you felt the man behind you place his hand on your lower back and guide you into the restaurant. You didnât miss the order he hissed to his brother before closing the door behind him.
You had to learn Japanese one of these days, damn it.
As you stood in line to be seated, you eyed your fiancĂŠ.
âI know somethingâs going on,â you spoke.
Natsuo didnât even flinch. âWhat do you mean?â
âWhyâs Dabi here?â
âYou heard what he said. For patrol.â
âPatrol for what? He doesnât just police the area for no reason.â
âIt was just on some small case weâve been working on. No biggie,â he shrugged.
You frowned at his play of innocence. You were getting kind of tired of this. âYou know how much I hate being kept in the darkâŚâ
âItâs nothing you have to concern yourself with, babe. Iâve got it handled.â
âNatsuoââ
âY/N, please.â
You watched his shoulders sag a bit from the heavy sigh that left his mouth. If you hadnât been watching, you wouldâve missed the fatigue that flashed across his face. To see someone usually so upbeat look so tired made your chest ache.
You knew you were being pushy, but all the secrets were piling up and your curiosity was starting to become insatiable.
âIâŚI just want to help,â you softly admitted. âI donât mean to be annoying.â
âYouâre not being annoying,â he answered in a heartbeat. Natsuo pulled you close and kissed your temple, feeling comforted by your smell. âI know all these secrets drive you crazy, but Iâm trying to protect you.â
You placed a hand on his cheek to which he placed a kiss to your palm. âAnd I want to lessen your burden. Weâre in this together, baby. You donât have to handle all of this alone anymore.â
âI know, sweetheart,â he whispered. He stared into your eyes for a moment before gently smiling down at your hopeful gaze. âHow âbout this? We forget about all this yakuza stuff whiles weâre here, and as soon as we get home, Iâll fill you in on my meeting today. Sound fair?â
It wasnât exactly what you wanted, but it was a step in the right direction. Besides, you could see how eager he was to forget about the topic. The focus of this night was about having fun, so you would drop it for now.
You pecked his lips and nodded in agreement. âDeal.â
âBet.â
The hostess met you two just as you pulled away from one another. She led you to your table where you had a clear view of the beach behind the crystal glass. Your waitress, an older woman with a smile that felt safe, got you settled in.
âMy name is Jane and Iâll be serving you today. May I get your drinks?â
Natsuo looked to you. âWine?â
You made a thoughtful face. âYeah. Sure. Something on the sweeter side.â
âBring us Moet Chandon Dom Perignon. 2008.â
âYes, sir,â she bowed before going to retrieve the drinks.
You frowned in confusion, the bran unknown to you. That was before your eyes scanned over the wine listing. You choked on your spit.
That bottle could pay rent.
Rich people were crazy.
âEverything okay?â
âYeah, sorry. Something in my throat,â you coughed.
After the waitress brought your drinks and you placed your orders (you both ordered enough for eight but whatâs new?), you and Natsuo spent your time talking and laughing.
It was like old times. He was the jokester, throwing out horrible pick-up lines with a terrible pun to match. Youâd tease him, snickering when heâd whine about how sensitive he was.
You missed this. A lot.
Your previous grievances left your mind. Like he said, for now, youâd forget about the yakuza. The carefree smile on your fiancĂŠâs face, the one that reminded of you of just how young he really was, was beautiful. He was only 23 and dealing with so much. You wanted this expression of freedom to remain for as long as possible.
âThe âSawâ series wasnât even that scary. It was just really gross,â you said.
âFair. But the one with the teeth was kinda scary. Saw 3 I think? I couldnât sleep for like, five days,â Natsuo shivered.
âOkay, yeah. That one wasâŚew,â you agreed. âBut remember âThe Human Centipedeâ? Now that was some creepy shit. I couldnât eat cereal for a month.â
Natsuo visibly paled, sticking his tongue out in disgust. âNah for real, bro. Iâll never watch that shit again. I feel like it was some big, grotesque, sexual innuendo.â
You gave him a flat look.
âWhat the fuck, Natsu.â
âNo, listen! Remember the part where they took the hammer andâ"
âYour food, Mr. Todoroki and Mr/s. L/N,â Jane interrupted. A questioning look flashed across her face but you two just stifled your laughs.
The other waiters laughed as they stood behind her with the food in their hands.
You were eyeing the hell out of those oysters.
âHere we have the lobster bisque, the shrimp tacos, the stuffed oystersââ
âIâll take that one, please!â you excitedly clapped.
âExcellent choice.â
âAnd you say Iâm a child,â Natsuo snorted.
You threw a glare his way. âLittle boy, if you donâtââ
And just as your day had been filled with laughter, the sound of one bullet tore through that illusion.
It was as if the world had stilled for a moment. Then, there was screaming and the onslaught of gunpower. There were so many men in dignified suits running in and out of the restaurant. You hadnât even blinked before two waiters dropped to the ground, piled beneath the food they were holding.
Two shots rang near your table, and you felt a string of fresh blood paint the sides of your face and a burning sensation on your left ear. Two hands held the table and the back of your chair, body a shield from the bullets.
You slowly looked up and saw Janeâs bright blue eyes wide with surprise. There was a moment of silence as her bottom lip wavered, wanting to say something.
However, her last breath slipped through her lips as you watched the life dull in her cerulean irises.
That bullet was meant for you. That bullet was meant to kill you and insteadâŚinsteadâŚ
When she fell onto you, dead, thatâs when you screamed.
At some point, Natsuo had gotten you into his arms. His body was ice cold as he used his quirk to protect you and carry you out. He was shouting orders and curses while trying to coax you out of your numbness. However, you couldnât hear anything.
The stench of blood was strong. You saw how the bodies of innocent men, women, and children laid piled on the floor. They bled out; their lives taken from them before they even had the chance to think about it.
You closed your eyes when you saw blue and red flames lick the ground. You had seen enough.
Somehow, you had gotten outside and away from the warzone. Natsuo carried you into the car.
âDoraibu!â he thundered. (Drive!)
The driver took off with speed that made our backs hit the seats. Once he hit the main streets, miles away from the scene, Natsuo took his hand off the gun and quelled his quirk.
His phone lit up and it wasnât long before he blew up at whoever was on the other end. You donât think youâve ever heard him use a tone so mean and angry. He roared into the phone, his words foreign to your ears. However, you couldnât concentrate on that.
The shock of what just occurred struck your body numb. The ringing in your ears hadnât stopped since the first bullet. You could still smell the blood and the bodies. Janeâs lifeless eyes would haunt you forever.
The same bullet that tore into her heart was meant for you. Whoever shot that, was aiming to kill. Kill you. But instead, Jane had taken that place. For what reason, you didnât know. But she did. Â
You didnât know which one was worse.
Bile rose in the back of your throat and you let out a shaky breath.
You could do nothing else but hold your head.
Natsuo had gotten off the phone and looked over at you in silence. His grey eyes stormed with pain from the way your shoulders hunched over in grief.
He reached for you. âY/N, sweetheartââ
You flinched away as his fingertips ghosted your skin.
âDonât fucking touch me,â you seethed.
He quickly withdrew his hands.
âAreâŚare you okay?â he slowly spoke.
The glare you gave him made him avert his eyes in anguish.
âAm I okay? Youâre asking me if Iâm okay!?â
âI just want to make sure youâre not hurt,â he thickly swallowed.
âAre you serious, Natsuo!? I just saw twenty people die in front of me and youâre asking if Iâm okay!??â
Guilt drowned him, but you just couldnât seem to care at the moment as rage took over your body.
âI asked you to tell me what was going on. Iâve been fucking begging you to keep me up to date so I can just be prepared for when things like this happen!â
âI know.â
âIf I had just known someone was trying to take me out, I wouldâve stayed the fuck home, but you wouldnât tell me and now thereâs people DEAD!!â
âI know. Iâm sorry, Y/N.â
âFuck your sorry!â you roared. âFuck you, Natsuo! Sorry wonât bring those people back!â
Your voice was beginning to grow hoarse but screaming felt good. It was the only thing that felt real even as it took you to hysteria.
âI know those bullets were meant for me! They wanted toâtoâoh my God!â Your breathig grew erratic as it all dawned on you. âIâm supposed to be dead! They wanted to kill me! I canât! I canât do this!â
Natsuo felt his heart break with every sob that ripped from your mouth. He wanted so badly to hold you and take you away from all of this. However, he knew better.
For the entire car ride and throughout the time it took for the nurses to patch you up, you hadnât allowed him to touch you. You even ignored him until he was forced to leave you to rest.
When he told you he loved you, it hurt like hell to see you wordlessly disappear behind the bedroom door. That pain was what later fueled him back to the scene of the crime and into doing things to the captured enemies he would never utter to anyone that wasnât there.
Fuyumi and Shouto couldnât look him in his eyes for the rest of the day. It was Dabi, as heartless as he was, that told him it was enough.
He would give anything to give you what you deserved, a life without pain and death. But thatâs not how it worked. Not in this life.
He knew that, yet, he had been selfish and took you for himself. Now, this was the result. Your life in unremitting danger because of who he was.
The agonized screams of dry ice burning away flesh constantly played in his head. It only seemed more prevalent, now more than ever, that people like him didnât deserve people like you. Â
[Present]
Natsuoâs heavy stare caused you to shift. As he changed into pajamas, you looked at the clock. It was 2am.
You hadnât realized it was so late.
You felt a heavy dip in the bed and watched your fiancĂŠ carefully settle into the sheets. His face was clean of blood and dirt, so he must've showered before coming back home.
A pregnant pause filtered between you two. As you continued to stare at one another, you could see his façade slip with each passing second. The blank front he was so skilled at putting up melted as his eyes continued to pass over the bandages. His eyes sunk and the skin around them was dark with wear. He looked exhausted.
The anger that had once bristled inside of you had given way to melancholy a long time ago. You felt so empty and lonely with the dark thoughts that circled in your head. Sleep wasnât an option if you wanted to avoid the nightmares that would plague you.
The two of you scooted closer to one another. Natsuo was the first to speak. He spoke in a voice so small, you almost missed it.
âCan I touch you?â
âPlease,â you whispered.
Soon enough, you were in his arms, chin on his shoulder as he peppered the junction between your neck and collarbone with kisses. You relished in his hands exploring your body, missing how he just seemed to swallow you up.
âI love you, Y/N,â he breathed.
âI love you too, Natsuo.â
Much of the night was spent reminding yourselves of the otherâs touch. Natsuo drew your lips captive, his tongue overtaking you with dizzying pleasure. You couldnât keep track of where his mouth was. Whether it was on your lips, on your stomach, or in between your legs, you savored how good it felt.
Soon, his low growls and moans were hot against your ears. Your nails ran down Natsuoâs back as his hips swam into you, taking his time to rememorize how you felt around him. The bed creaked along with your moans. You threw your head back and gripped whatever you could hold of him during your lovemaking.
It seemed youâd reach your high over and over again. You could never get enough of each other. There was something intoxicating about how his tongue would roll over yours as he pounded into you, staking claim over your body as he gave himself to you until he couldnât.
When your bodies couldnât go any longer, you just lied underneath the sheets. Natsuo lied on top of you, head on your chest and listened to your heartbeat. You pushed back his sweaty bangs, staring down at him. Â
You hadnât even realized you were crying until his thumbs went to swipe past your cheeks.
âDamn it,â you hiccupped.
Natsuo let his vulnerability slip. âI know theyâre just words, but Iâm so sorry, Y/N,â he said. His voice cracked and it was your turn to catch the tears that fell from his eyes.
âI know. Iâm sorry too.â
âYou have nothing to apologize for.â
âNo, I shouldnât have yelled at you like that. I was justâŚâ
âJust what?â
A fresh wave of images from today filled the forefront of your mind. Those pictures did something to you. A switch was flicked. Â
Your voice caught in your throat and your eyes pinched as more tears filled them. However, these were not tears of fright, rather tears of animosity. The anger you thought had left you had turned into something worse. Something much darker. Â
Natsuo saw that look many times before in his own reflection. Vengeance. Pure, unadulterated, vengeance. And as much as he hated it, it was the gas that incited his own flame. Â
âNatsuo,â you spoke like you were about to tell a secret. You slowly swallowed the ball in your throat.
âWhat is it, baby? Tell me what it is you want.â
The words that left your mouth felt different, but you would never regret them.
âWhoever it was, whoever was behind this, I want them gone,â you instructed, voice stone cold. âFor every child lost, I want ten of their heads. For all our men they took, I want their bodies burned. For the life they took from Jane, I want their blood on the street. Today, they took their stance when they tried to kill me.â
You held his face and fell into his gaze with hard eyes. In those grey irises, you saw a man that would stand against an army for you. It gave you the courage to say your order.
âAnd for that, I want the entire yakuza dead.â Â
The glint in his eye matched your own and you knew there was no turning back. Natsuo nodded without a second thought. There was nothing to think about. Heâd give you the entire world or burn it down at the flick of your hand.
âYes, my Onna-Oyabun. Your wish is my command.â
He sealed the deal with a kiss.
âThis is war.â
#natsuo todoroki#natsuo x reader#bnha oneshot#mha scenarios#mha oneshot#bnha fanfiction#mha fanfiction#bnha scenario#bnha x reader#mha x reader#bnha x gn!reader#bnha x poc!reader#bnha x black reader#mha x gn!reader#genderneutral reader#mha x poc!reader#mha x black reader#bnha x y/n#mha x y/n#honorable mentions:#todoroki fuyumi#todoroki shouto#todoroki enji#todoroki rei#mafia au#gang au#yakuza au#smut?#I done fed yall like 10 hc and fics this past week and now ima rest#be easy yall
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newlyweds (2)
pairing - spencer reid x reader
summary - you and spencer have to pose as a newly married couple for a case
warning - stalking, cursing, mentions of case
word count - ?
that night, you and spencer turned in around midnight. both of you had lost time watching a random movie on tv. there had been a lot of cuddling, directly due to the kiss that had occurred just hours before.
you got changed into shorts and one of your oversized t-shirts before brushing your teeth. you stepped out of the bathroom and looked toward the bed. spencer was already under the covers with his back pressed against the headboard while he read a book. upon further inspection, you noticed it was some informational book regarding criminal behavior. you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes.
âcome on spencer,â you spoke as you got into bed beside him. he turned to you, a confused expression on his face. âread something normal for a change,â you started before moving closer to him so you could whisper, âwe canât be suspicious. besides, this is practically a vacation for us so letâs enjoy it and not read books that deal with our job.â
âand, i already took my melatonin and i am starting to feel drowsy,â you added.
with that, spencer closed his book, not before marking his page, and slipped it into the bedside drawer. he then shut the light off on the table, leaving a nightlight to cancel out some of the darkness. finally, he eased into bed beside you, laying on his back and opening up his arms. you, on the other hand, layed on your side with your head on his chest. his arm moves around your waist as you shut your eyes.
âgoodnight,â you mumbled as you shut your eyes.
âgoodnight,â spencer responded, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.
the next morning, you woke up to an empty bed. you first rolled over and looked at the time; 9:34 it read. that was pretty late for you. and judging by your surroundings, spencer couldnât have gotten out of bed more than ten minutes ago
you slowly creeped down the stairs of the still unfamiliar house and made your way to the kitchen upon smelling coffee.
âmorning,â you greeted spencer as you kissed his cheek softly and took a seat at the island. spencer, in turn, placed a mug of coffee in front of you as well as a plate of toast. as you picked up the mug, you heard your rings clink making your smile slightly.
âso whatâs the plan for today?â you asked.
spencer moved so he was leaning against the counter across form you. âwell i was thinking we could do a little unpacking,â he started, saying the first part with a wink, âand then maybe go swimming. you mentioned that yesterday.â you nodded, âsounds perfect.â
after breakfast, you went upstairs, grabbing your swimsuit and heading into the bathroom to get changed. once changed, you stepped out of the bathroom and walked down the hallway. spencer was still changing so you figured he would meet you outside.
the warm sun met you as you slid open the sliding glass door and stepped out onto the patio. you quickly applied sunscreen before jumping into the pool. spencer came outside just as you went full under. you swam to the surface, pushing your hair out of your face as you smiled at up the genius.
you tried to not make it obvious that you were standing at spencer but it was pretty difficult. he was still incredibly skinny but had very visible abs and muscles.
âshould i do a backflip?â spencerâs voice brought you out of your thoughts.
âwhat?â you asked. spencer smirked slightly. before you could even react, he had took of running and doing a backflip into the pool. you grinned at his actions. just like you, spencer emerged at the surface and fixed his hair with a wide smile on his face.
for the next hour or so, the two of you swam and relaxed in the pool. towards the end, you had stood close to spencer with your arms around his neck and his hands on your waist. it had been a pretty sweet moment until, without warning, spencer had dunked you under the water.
you gasped once you appeared out of the water before tackling spencer. that went on for a few moments before he had finally held you close. spencer felt you tense up. âwhatâs wrong?â he asked, voice low.
âi feel like someone is watching us,â you whispered back. it was probably just your profiler senses kicking in but you still felt uneasy. regardless, there was nothing you could do.
so, spencer and you got out of the pool, heading over to the poolside cabana area with a sofa bed under it. âman this house is really nice,â you commented as you grabbed a towel. after drying off, spencer layed on the bed. you followed suit, laying on your stomach with your leg across his.
you were pretty close to falling sleep until spencerâs phone rang. âhello?â he started, âyeah sheâs next to me.â you sat up, visible confusion on your face. spencer didnât say anything for a few moments before he removed the phone from his ear and ended the call. âunsubs a couple,â he whispered, careful if anyone was listening. you groaned and leaned your head back against one of the pillows. now you two both had another person to worry about.
____
you and spencer continued to live in the house for the next week. in the limited contact you had with the team, there had been no more murders and no leads. everyday, youâre routine was pretty much the same. one day, however, the two of you had gone into the city and spent the day there. you had almost forgotten that you were potentially being stalked by two killers.
both of you had even met your âneighborsâ. on the left was a young woman who was just starting her life out of college. she was incredibly sweet. on the right was an older couple who had been married for almost ten years. they had suggested having dinner one night. to avoid suspicion, you had invited them over the following evening.
however, both you and spencer expressed your uneasiness about them.
spencer had called morgan, prentending to be his brother, and gave him a heads up about what was occurring. in turn, you got the instructions to signal to the camera if your suspicions were true. the two of you also planned a code word just in case. it sounded extreme, but you couldnât have the fbi storming into your house without cause.
that evening, you had changed into more formal wear as did spencer. he went downstairs to cook dinner while you waited to greet your neighbors. when the doorbell rang, you waited a moment before opening the door, a slightly fake smile on your face.
you ushered the couple into the house. âwelcome! spencer is in the kitchen cooking dinner. i can get you something to drink and you can sit in the dining room,â you suggested. in the split moment it took the couple in front of you to think about what they would want, you noticed the woman walking with a cane as well as the outline of what looked like some form of a gun in the mans pocket. both were signatures of the murders.
here you were, standing in your foyer with two killers.
âiâll have a glass of red wine if possible,â the woman started, turning to her husband. âjust water please.â you then ushered them into the dining room before turning towards the chandelier. you held your hands up in the shape of a âwâ which let your team know that it was them. after that, you went into the kitchen.
spencer was still cooking over the stove. you grabbed a two glasses, filling one with water and the other with wine. you felt eyes burning into the back of your skull. you wrapped your arm around spencer, leaning into him as you made it look like you were talking about dinner.
âitâs them, already signaled the team,â you spoke, voice barely above a whisper.
âdinner should be ready soon,â he responded, going along with the act.
you returned to the dining room, a smile plastered on your face as you distributed the drinks. âso what do you two do for a living?â the woman asked, taking a sip of her drink. âi start at the law firm downtown next week and spencer will be a professor at the local university. weâre both trying to adjust to the city first,â you responded.
a slightly awkward silence filled the room. you heard the familiar sound of a gun lock switching and you held back your urge to smirk. the stove in the kitchen turned off. spencer must have heard it too.
âso youâre the ones who have been killing the couples,â you spoke, placing your elbows on the table and resting your chin on your hands.
in an instant, the man pulled the gun out of his pocket and pointed it right at your temple. much to their suprise, you didnât even flinch.
âyou really fucked up man,â spencer called from behind you.
the man leaned forward and jabbed the gun into your temple. a slight feeling of fear flowed through you but it didnât reach your face. âwhy?â was all you asked.
âthey have everything we didnât. itâs not fair. it was only time before they died. they were practically asking for it,â the woman growled.
when the mans movements waivered, you managed to reach up and in one swift movement, you disarmed him. suddenly, the doors to the house swung open. your team rushed in, all guns pointed to the couple. you handed morgan the gun before going into the kitchen.
âkinda happy thatâs over,â you spoke to spencer.
he nodded, agreeing with your words. âagreed. it was nice but i donât think i like living in a home only so weâre targeting by a murder,â he responded. you smiled slightly and leaned against the counter, just in time to see the two being escorted out of the house.
hotch and emily entered the kitchen. âyou two should start to pack up. food will be taken care of so just pack your personal clothes. we leave in the morning,â hotch informed you before exiting the kitchen. emily shot your a knowing smile before following hotch out.
spencer grabbed your hand before pulling you towards the stairs. you playfully rolled your eyes and followed him up.
____
on the plane home, you and spencer took two of the seats in the group of four while j.j. and morgan took the other. emily and rossi were on the couch while hotch was in one of the single seats.
âso that case,â j.j. spoke up, a slightly suggestive tone in her voice.
you could feel the blush rising in your cheek. as a reaction, you hid your head in spencerâs shoulder. âaw look sheâs blushing!â morgan called, making you blush further.
laughter echoed throughout the jet. âall joking aside, weâre really happy for you,â emily added. spencer and you smiled at that, his hand moving to interlock with yours.
this case had gone a lot better than expected.
#criminal#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x oc#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#emily prentiss#jennifer jareau#david rossi#penelope garcia
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[fic] A Tragicomedy In Five Acts
Series: Saiki Kusuo no Ψ-nan || The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. Rating: T Genre: Friendship, Humour, Breaking the Fourth Wall Character(s): Akechi Touma, Saiki Kusuo, Saiki Kurumi, Saiki Kuniharu, Saiki Kuusuke Warnings: None, save for the canon-typical shenanigans Summary: Akechi has made a habit of showing up unannounced, uninvited at the Saiki residence. The inevitable "bonding" occurs and Kusuo despairs; the world continues to turn. A/N: A piece I wrote for the Disastrous Life Zine, a charity zine. I wanted to share the uncut version here since I like how it reads more (it's not too different from zine version, though). Leftover sales are currently still live, so here's your last chance to grab some limited items if you had missed the pre-orders earlier! Thanks to the mods & other contributors over at @disastrouslifezine, for all their hard work on this project. Many thanks also to my bro Digi for the awesome beta work and for always being an all-round great pal ⤠Fic can also be read AO3. _______ i. Itâs a problem Saiki Kusuo should haveâcould haveânipped earlier in the bud, when heâd been forced to spend a whole Sunday with Akechi Touma betting on horse-racing. But between Akechi being (begrudgingly) accepted as one of the PK Psychickers to Kusuo having to stop a meteor from slamming into the planetâwell, a lot had happened. Akechi had since taken to visiting the Saiki residence at random, with little notice in advance. On his second visit, Mom had invited him in before Kusuo could intervene. If it werenât for the cupcakes Akechi had brought alongânot to mention the terrifying heat of Momâs demonic glare at the first sign of a protestâKusuo would have teleported him miles away without hesitation. Thatâs how Kusuo finds himself nowâglowering at Akechi whoâs sitting politely in his room and firing a running commentary about nothing and too many things all at once. Resigned, he leans back into his study chair and asks, point-blank: What do you want, Akechi?
âYour mother is lovely as always,â Akechi replies instead, dancing around the question. âIâm grateful sheâs gone from remembering me as âPee Boyâ to âKusuoâs Friend Who Only Ever Wets His Pants Occasionallyâ. Surely thatâs a sign we have gotten closer.â It sounds just as terrible as the firstâonly a simpleton would be okay with that as a defining trait, Kusuo retorts. In any case, weâre hardly more than classmates. So, why are you here again? âI thought you would have realized it by now with your telepathy. But I suppose I can explain it for the sake of the readers!â Akechi beams, holding up a small case in his hand. Donât just casually break the fourth wall, Kusuo frowns, even as he leans forward for a closer look. Akechi pops the case open and turns towards the game console. âI was recently gifted this game by my cousin, who assured me that, while underrated, itâs still a cult hit among fans. I thought it would be fun to play it together.â Kusuo stares flatly at the title OVERWORKED displayed on the disc as it slides into the console drive, already unimpressed. That is such a blatant rip-off. âOh, no, it's a completely different game from the one youâre thinking of!â Akechi says. âHere you play as the overworked waiter of a cafe who serves multiple orders at once and takes over the cooking whenever the head chef throws a tantrum and storms right off.â How is that different from OVERC***ED? It is totally OVERC***ED! âRegardless, shall we have a play-off?â Akechi offers the controller to him. âWinner gets this box of cupcakes. I got them from the best pâtisserie in town, which is no easy feat. Why just this morning I left home at the crack of dawn to secure a spot in the queue, and even then, there were already about 30-odd people ahead of me! Who knew it was so popularâA-ah!â Kusuo yanks the controller easily from Akechiâs hand towards him with telekinesis, a glint of determination in his eyes now. Best two out of three levels. Loser also has to leave immediately. Akechi grins knowingly and cracks his knuckles, reaching for the second controller. âYouâre quick to assume victory, Kusuo-kun. Very well, then!â Thirty-seven minutes later and Kusuoâs left staring at the final scores, appalled. He would have won if his character hadnât kept freezing in place and glitching at crucial moments, messing up in the kitchens and sending out wrong orders. How is he always losing to Akechi like this? Clearly the universe is still conspiring against him. âYou were so close to beefing my lask score dhoo,â Akechi says shamelessly through a mouthful of strawberry frosting. âAnd my, deez fupfakes are sâper dhasty!â Are you taunting me now? Kusuo scowls enviously at the cupcake in Akechiâs hand before he huffs, slinking back into his chair. Well, Iâll be staring dejectedly out my window for a bit, so feel free to eat your cupcakes and then leave. But Akechi only laughs then and, to Kusuoâs surprise, moves to place a chocolate cupcake before him. âYouâre so melodramatic, Kusuo-kun. I never said the winner canât share.â ... I guess you didnât. They spend the rest of the afternoon eating cupcakes. _______ ii. This again? Itâs been a month, but Kusuo already feels a sense of gloom settling over him when Akechi steps into the genkan. He would have been fine with leaving Akechi outside blathering away through closed doors for the entire day while he pretended not to be home, but obviously Mom is having none of that. âIâm so glad youâve been coming over to play with Ku-chan!â she greets cheerfully. âI couldnât believe it when I first heard, but you and Kusuo are getting along well, huh, Akechi-kun!â Dad says with a sagely nod, looking every bit the part of the morally upright, reliable father. Bold of you to believe such delusional notions of camaraderie, or that you even look the part of an admirable adult, Kusuo comments drily, before turning to leave. âWe donât just get along,â Akechi chimes in reply. âYou could even say our friendship is super-califragilisticexpialidocious!â GET OUT. If looks could kill, Kusuoâs current expression is pure genocide. But his parents are already fawning and AH-HYUU-!!-ing at Akechiâs words, tears of joy gushing down their cheeks like an endless waterfall. Kusuo watches in quiet despair as Akechi is readily accepted into their fold with welcomed embraces, a key development in this romantic soap opera. Oi, whatâs with the misleading narrative?! Weâre not in that kind of fanfic right now! Dad and Akechi hit it off well enough, one thing leads to another, and Kusuo suddenly finds himself roped into playing MECH-O ARENA VR on the WAB station in Dadâs study. Seriously, stop it with the terrible rip-offs of actual games already, Kusuo frowns as he watches Dadâs and Akechiâs characters flitting about on the screen to fight off an incoming attack. âI suppose itâs not very original, is it?â Akechi says, punching the controller buttons in a flurry of movements. âBut itâs different enough that we can probably avoid any unwanted copyright lawsuits.â Thatâs completely beside the point. Dadâs wholly immersed with the game now, so itâs impossible for Kusuo to get rid of Akechi without Dad throwing a childish fuss about losing his new gaming buddy. Not to mention Momâs uncanny ability to appear with coffee and snacks each time Kusuo had tried to inconspicuously retreat back into his room, all while exuding an ominous aura that effectively dissuaded his need to leave immediately. Good griefâeveryoneâs being such a pain today, Kusuo sighs, before he finally relents to Momâs cajoling to team up with her against Dad and Akechi in the final round. He figures it canât get worse than this anyway. That is, until Kuusuke gets involved. _______ iii. When Kusuo returns home from a quick grocery trip for Mom, he walks into a surprisingly empty living room. He can hear Dad and Kuusukeâs voices from upstairs but for some reason heâs not quite able to perceive the atmosphere withinâitâs as if his senses are partially blocked by a cognitive fog with the study engulfed in a dead zone. Must be that prototype ârouterâ Kuusuke had installed in Dadâs study yesterday. Kusuo has zero interest in his brotherâs tiresome antics, but is compelled nonetheless to check on them, if only to ensure Kuusuke isnât playing Mad Scientist and coaxing Dad into yet another deranged human project. He opens the door, nearly lashes out in shock with telekinesis when he sees Akechi staring through the doorway with a creepy, owlish expression. âOh, were you actually surprised, Kusuo-kun?â Akechi says. âMy apologies for frightening you like that.â Kusuo studies the room cautiously, only to realize heâs unable to hear anyoneâs thoughts with telepathy. He glares at his brother in suspicion. âWelcome back, little brother!â Kuusuke greets him with a Cheshire grin. âI see youâve got yourself a new playmate. Hmm? Ah, you must think it strange that I've taken to Akechi-kun so readily.â Strange and highly dubious, Kusuo counters. What are you scheming? âWell, Akechi-kun shows the most potential and capacity for mental growth amongst the lesser primates close to youââ What a disparaging worldview. And stop deflecting! I know you can still understand me. ââSo, he may yet make a good test subjâAh, I mean, a good friend! Interesting specimens tend to gravitate towards you, after all. Though his propensity for peeing sure is troubling, isnât it? Haha!â You can excuse questionable human experimentations, but you draw the line at incontinence? Kuusuke attempts a nonchalant shrug. âPriorities, amirite?â âBut this is amazing, Kuusuke-san,â Akechi says, glancing up in awe at the blinking device on the ceiling. âThe telepathy canceller really does block our thoughts efficiently!â âItâs child's play compared to Kusuoâs abilities,â Kuusuke says, seemingly modest, but Kusuo doesnât miss the devious glint in his eyes when he reaches into his coat pocket to pull out what looks suspiciously like a detonator with a giant red button. âStill, with this, Operation SMâSH can now finally commenceââ Wait, Operation what?? Kuusuke, donât you dare...! But Kuusuke is already pressing the button, and the study is plunged into darkness as the lights flicker off and the blinds draw shut. Alarmed, Kusuo wrenches the detonator away from Kuusukeâs grip with his telekinesis. What did you just do?! Thereâs an electronic whirr, a blinding flash, and Kusuo finds himself suddenly staring at a large LCD screen as it emerges from the ceiling. Music blares from overhead speakers as a cinematic opening sequence begins to play. âThere you are, Kusuo!â Dad looks up from behind the coffee table where heâd been fiddling with the game console. He adjusts the VR headset over his eyes. âItâs time to finally beat you at SUPER SMâSH BUDS as payback for last time! HII-YAAAH!!â ... Oh. So itâs just another game. âThatâs right!â Kuusuke claps his hands together, blissfully ignoring the heat of Kusuoâs baleful glare. âI heard about your horse-racing bet from Akechi-kun and found this as the best way to even the odds for other types of games.â âThe idea came to me while peeing in the shower; to find ways you could play and not get bored easily, Kusuo-kun,â Akechi adds in unnecessary detail. âBut I didnât think Kuusuke-san could actually pull it off.â âHere, Kusuo,â Dad says, waving his controller. âCome choose your characterââ But Kusuoâs already teleporting away, fleeing the wretched upheaval within his own home to hide at Cafe Mami for the rest of the day. _______ iv. Akechi corners him after school three weeks later. Kusuo is surprised and unsurprised all at once; he had worn the germanium ring to class, after all, in a bid to avoid spoilers for the direct-to-streaming release movie adaptation of a book heâd been fond of. Itâs easy to ignore everyoneâs spoilery chatter when it isnât droning directly into his mindâheâd kept his fingers stuck into  his ears each time class ended, oblivious to the strange looks thrown his way, and had even hidden away in the restroom cubicle during breaks, successfully avoiding any interaction with the usual human nuisances. Until now, that is. âLetâs walk home together, Kusuo-kun!â Akechi calls, jogging after him. Iâm suddenly deaf and sound has eluded me, Kusuo deadpans as he breaks into a sprint, determined to leave before Akechi starts blabbing spoilers. âI noticed you werenât quite yourself today,â Akechi continues, catching up with him.  âAnd I thought it might have something to do with the ring on your left index finger that youâve fondled precisely seventeen times throughout the day.â What an awful way to describe it. I didnât fondle anything. âPerhaps the material of that ring works in the same manner as the telepathy cancellerâwhich would explain why you seemed uncharacteristically skittish today since youâre pretty bad at discerning peopleâs intentions without your telepathy.â What are you? A psychic? But Akechi only persists. âI realized later that youâd always leave whenever anyone started talking about that new movie on Netfl*xââ Canât hear now, Kusuo slaps his hands over his ears. Gone horribly deaf. âAnd I figured it must be that you havenât watched it yet for some reason, like maybe your home internet is down because your father forgot to pay the bills for three whole months and so it got cutââ How did you even..? Kusuo grimaces. N-nope, not listening! 100% deaf! âI know you donât have a mobile phone to watch it on either,â Akechi continues. âSo, thatâs why I wanted to invite you to my house today, to watch it together. Oh, donât worry, I know absolutely nothing about the movie. In fact, Iâd only heard Kaidou-kun screaming out the title just ten minutes ago.â Kusuo pauses then, glancing back at Akechi in hesitance. Akechi only meets his wary gaze with a knowing smirk, and says, âWe also have strawberry shortcake in the fridge.â _______ v. I donât suppose thereâs a good reason this time either, Kusuo sighs wearily, closing his book. Still, thereâs a glimmer in his eyes; he knows Akechi had come bearing giftsâa selection of coffee jellies topped with cherries and chocolate drizzle. âIâve made a habit of crashing your place unannounced, havenât I?â Akechi offers a contrite grin, watching as Kusuo helps himself to a spoonful of jelly. âI do apologize, but whenever I get restless, I find myself wandering here by instinct. Admittedly, I was worried about being a bother, but your mother is always so welcoming at the door despite that dreary, constipated look in your eyesââ You are being a bother. Like a persistent mosquito that thinks it's summer all year round, Kusuo grouses with his Most Annoyed Expression, knowing how ineffectual his Feigning Ignorance Face had become over time. Also, have you graduated from pee references to shitty jokes now? Disgusting. But Akechi takes it all in stride, undeterred by Kusuoâs ugly grimace and acerbic jibes. ââPlus, itâd be considered extremely rude if I didnât come in after that, and I certainly do not want you to think of me as rude. Youâre a friend I hold in high regard, after all. I always have, ever since I found out it was you who saved me from the bullies back then.â The earnestness in Akechiâs words stumps him, if only a little. And though Kusuo is careful to keep his surprise from showing, thereâs a part deep down in his not-so-granite heart that feels a touch of warmth at the sentiment. Akechiâs already placing the Scrabble board on the floor, so he misses the ghost of a smile that crosses Kusuoâs lips. Did Akechi honestly think he could beat a psychic at Scrabble too? How naive. âYouâre probably thinking how naive I must be, believing I could beat you at a board game with your powers and all,â Akechi notes cheerfully, almost as if heâs a mind-reader himself. Kusuo frowns, slightly disgruntled by the fourth-wall breaking once more and wishes they would give it a rest for once. Overusing a trope gets really tiring, you know? Still, he smiles again as he takes a seat across from Akechiâwho is now shuffling the Scrabble chips while nattering away about the history of board games and how the loser would have to give up his share of coffee jelly (as if Kusuo would allow it to come to that again). Two Sunday visits per month only, Kusuo says, lifting several chips into the air with a wave of his hand. If you beat me... Iâll allow it. Akechiâs eyes widen, before he breaks into a playful grin. âVery well, then. May the best man win.â Kusuo only lets out a soft laugh. Perhaps itâs not too late to pick up where they had left off in grade school. âEndâ
#saiki kusuo no psi nan#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#akechi touma#disastrous life zine#fanfic#please check out and support the other contributors' pieces too !
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Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better
Solangelo Week 2020 - god swap / body swap @solangeloweekÂ
Read on AO3 or FF.Net
A/N: (Ignore how late this fic is)Â I recently realized that I love the tag âcrack treated seriouslyâ and then I was like, wait is that what I write?? Oh well XD
âUgh, I canât believe this is happening.â
âOh gods, what are we going to do??â
Will and Nico were behind the Hades cabin, but not for the reasons theyâd like to be.
Currently, Will was looking at Nico and Nico was looking at Will, but they were also staring at themselves. Because they were in each otherâs bodies. Because why not.
Nico pinched the bridge of his nose (Willâs nose?), sighing, âThis is ridiculous.â
Will was a little more panicky than his boyfriend. âOh my gods, how and why is this happening? We canât be stuck like this! Can we be stuck like this? Oh my gods, what if weâre stuck like this???â
The boys had woken up from a nap together (a literal time of sleeping together) in the early afternoon, only to find that they werenât quite themselves. They also found a note on the nightstand that said, âDonât tell, or itâll take longer to wear off!â signed with a simple red heart. The situation was pretty straight forward, but that didnât make it any easier to handle.
âSolace, calm down. Weâll be fine. This is either a prank from the Aphrodite kids or Aphrodite herself. I donât think any children of Aphrodite have ever had precise enough control of their power to extend the time of their curses, though Iâve also never heard of any body or mind swaps from them eitherâŚâ Nico tapped his chin in thought.
âSo you think this is directly from a goddess??â Will flailed his arms for emphasis. He had not been still since they woke up switched.
Nico held up his hands placatingly. âWill, I said to calmââ
âWhen has that ever made anyone calm??â
Nicoâs eyes flicked to the ground behind Will, noticing some movement. He immediately recognized the shadows reacting to Willâs panic, swirling around his feet and slowly pulling upward like a barrier. Huh, so thatâs what that looks like, Nico thought, finally seeing what other people saw. He could admit that it was slightly terrifying.
âOkay! Okay, Will, just, breathe with me. Remember, like you taught me?â Nico drew in a deep breath, emphasizing the movement with his hands. He exhaled loudly. âIn 4, hold 3, out, like, 5. Right?â
âWhat, no, do you even listen to me? Itâs in 4, hold 7, out 8. Like this,â and Will proceeded to do several slow breaths. Nico was grinning even as he copied Will. He also realized how different he looks when heâs not frowning while doing the exercise. He should probably pay attention to his facial expressions more.
After a few more breaths, Nico ventured, âBetter?â
Will blinked a few times before letting out a chuckle. âOh, I see what you did there. Sneaky Death Boy.â He smiled at Nico, which, again, was a very different sight to Nico. Not that he didnât smile often, but for some reason, Will made his smile look brighter.
Instead of saying this, Nico replied with, âWell, actually I think youâre the Death Boy now, Sunshine.â
Will face palmed while Nico laughed. It was weird to hear Willâs laugh ringing in his own ears, knowing that Nico himself was the one laughing. Switching bodies was a real out-of-body experience.
Nico jolted and then groaned to himself. âWill, please tell me you donât think in puns.â
Will immediately straightened up and asked desperately, âWhat was the pun? Please tell me, I havenât thought of a single one this whole time.â
Nico sighed. âJust how this is a real out-of-body experience.â
Will burst into laughter immediately. âOh, thatâs a good one!â He wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. âYeah, puns just pop into my head. I donât know if itâs a gift from Apollo or what, but I love it and already miss it.â
Nico rolled his eyes. âI hate you. Or me. I hate this body and brain. Itâs stupid.â
Will hummed. âThatâs not what you said last night.â
âWill, I swear to the gods, stop taking flirting tips from Cecil and Lou Ellen. They make no sense coming from you. I didnât even see you yesterday!â Nico wrinkled his nose in disgust as he watched his boyfriend waggle his eyebrows suggestively with his body. âAlso, donât make me say or do dumb things. Itâs wrong.â
Willâs face lit up, which really made Nico look his age instead of like the 80-something year old he truly was, and he proceeded spin around and flail his arms. Nico knew this to be Willâs version of dancing.
Will abruptly stopped and pouted at Nico. âNo fair. I can literally feel your body being graceful even when Iâm controlling the movements. I canât make you dance badly if I tried!â
âDonât test that theory,â Nico chuckled despite himself, glad to see that Will had calmed down and was actually having fun in this scenario. Heâd hate to ruin the good mood, but, âHow long do you think this will last?â
Will sobered up quickly, folding his arms in thought. âHard to say. Like you said, weâve never heard of this kind of prank being pulled before. So, if it really is from the goddess of love⌠then we just have to not make her mad so she lifts the curse, or at least, doesnât extend it.â His eyebrows furrowed quizzically. âWhy did she curse us in the first place?â
âI bet she was just bored,â Nico shrugged. âAnyway, her note also said that we canât tell anyone, otherwise weâll be stuck like this for longer. SoâŚâ he trailed off, unsure of where that left them.
âBasically, we have to be each other for however long, without telling anyone directly whatâs happening.â Will swallowed.
The boys let that sink in. And then simultaneously groaned.
âI was supposed to teach a sword lesson in a few hours,â Nico grumbled, imagining just how much could go wrong with Will handling a sword. Granted, heâd be in Nicoâs body, but still.
âAnd I have a shift at the infirmary through dinnertime,â Will ran a hand through his hair, distracted momentarily by the silky black locks he combed through instead of his normal wiry dirty blonde hair. At least Nico had helped in the infirmary enough to know what Will did and where things were. But he did not have the medical training and experience Will had. What might happen if a camper got seriously hurt?
They sat in silence for a bit as they thought this over. Could they pull it off?
ââŚâ
ââŚâ
âThis is bad.â
âThis is doable,â they said at the same time. Nico looked up in concern, thinking his boyfriend was overestimating his sword skills, while Will looked mildly offended as he thought Nico was doubting his own knowledge of the infirmary.
âNeeks! You can totally take a shift at the infirmary. My siblings will be there for anything major,â Will stated with his hands on his hips. He had to look up slightly since Nico was a few inches shorter than Will, which was definitely a new experience for Will.
âOkay,â Nico looked doubtful, but continued. âBut I donât think you can run a sword lesson. No offense,â he tacked on with an apologetic smile.
Will hummed in agreement. âYeah, thatâs probably true. We can cancel it, though, right? Or ask someone to take it over?â
âUgh, I donât know. I donât want to cause suspicion or upset the love goddess for any reason,â Nico frowned. â⌠I think we might just have to⌠do this.â
They stared at each other for a moment more.
âOh gods,â Will buried his face in his hands.
âMerda,â Nico glared at the sky, the bright blue like Aphrodite herself was mocking him. She probably was.
---
*At the arena*
âOkay, guys! Um, today weâre going to shake things up and have some fuuuuun!â Nico was absolutely going to kill Will for making him sound like an idiot, but he didnât know what else to do. Six kids between eight to ten years old gazed up at him with varying levels of excitement and confusion. Will distractedly realized how much heâs sweating (though more from nerves than physical exhaustion) and understood why Nico did his usual training shirtless. But Will was highly unsure about being so close to his shirtless boyfriendâs body, regardless of whoâs brain was controlling his movements. So, the shirt stayed.
âWhat are we doing thatâs so great, Mr. Nico?â An eight-year-old Ares girl looked a little too excited about sword-fighting class for Willâs comfort.
âUm,â Will rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he spoke. He was reaching for any way to circumvent dangerously pointy weapons when an idea struck him. âOh!â He smiled at the kids, who looked quite off-put by the expression. âToday, weâre going to discuss basic medical knowledge to know when youâre on the battlefield!â
The groans he received put a damper on what he thought was a very practical lesson that heâs immensely proud he came up with.
âBut thatâs what infirmary class is for! Mr. Will taught us!â
âYeah, I wanna fight with swords!â
âAh ah ah!â Will interrupted their grumblings before it got out of hand. âMr. Will teaches what the medics do once you can leave a fight and be treated properly. This will be quick fixes while youâre still fighting. Itâs important that you can quickly assess wounds and determine your next course of acââ
âUgh, you sound like Mr. Will!â
âYeah, you never talk this much, Mr. Nico.â
âMaybe heâs not the real Mr. Nico.â
These kids were getting dangerously close to the truth, and Will almost wanted to tell them so theyâd stop complaining. But no, couldnât do that. Hm, how do I make them interested while sounding like NicoâŚ
Will lit up when he finally realized what to do. Really, he should be better at this, he has so many little siblings. But he and Nico didnât exactly behave in the same way. Nico didnât like coddling kids in any way, especially not in his class. Thatâs probably why they loved him so much.
âOkay, okay,â Will said loudly, cutting off the studentsâ whispering as he sat down in front of them. âHow about I tell you a story?â
Immediately, all the kids cheered and sat down as close to him as they could, stars shining in their eyes.
âHavenât you fought werewolves?â
âDo you see ghosts?â
âYou fought with Percy Jackson! Tell us about him!â
âWhat kind of powers do you have?â
âOh, tell us about defeating the Titans!â
âAre zombies, like, super gross?â
Will laughed at how excited they all were. He almost forgot that Nico was a famous war hero instead of his dorky boyfriend. âOkay, listen closely. You may learn a thing or two from my heroic tales!â He puffed out his chest dramatically, drawing adorable giggles from everyone. He then launched into a story about one of Nicoâs many battles, throwing in how he used his medical knowledge to patch himself up and continue fighting. Needless to say, everyone paid attention when Will brought out some bandage rolls for them to practice with.
---
*At the infirmary*
âWill, what in Hades are you doing?â
Nico jumped at Kaylaâs voice sounding behind him. His head knocked into a shelf, spilling supplies on the floor. He was not hiding in the supply closet.
âUm,â he began eloquently. âInventorying?â
Kayla rolled her eyes. âBro, you did that yesterday. And we donât have that many people coming in here, so I highly doubt weâre low on anything.â So maybe she was just exasperated with her brother and didnât suspect anything weird was going on.
âWell, you know me,â was a phrase that Will never said and yet itâs all Nico could think of. He shrugged apologetically at Willâs sister.
âWhatever, come on, Cecil just came in with some burns on his arms. Iâd say it was from the lava wall, but he probably exploded something in his face.â She led the way out of the supply closet and toward the front of the infirmary. Where Cecil, Willâs best friend, was waiting and would surely notice something off about Will.
âWhat are you going to do?â he asked Kayla.
She eyed him with some suspicion. â⌠What do you want me to do?â
âOh, uh,â Nico was confused. âUm, nothing? Whatever you normally do?â
â⌠Huh.â (Will had definitely given her a task to do that morning.)
She was about to respond when Nico blurted out, âYou can end early, if you want.â
Her eyes widened in surprise. That was not a common thing for the head medic to say, for sure.
âI mean,â Nico floundered for any sort of reasoning. âYouâve been working hard recently, and I just thought you might like a little extra free time.â He paused for a moment before adding, âAnd youâre taking the cabin to dinner tonight since Iâm working, which is hard enough.â
At that, Kayla laughed and seemed to relax. âYeah, no kidding. You want me gone? Iâm gone, no problem.â Nico sighed with relief. Then he realized that if anyone came in majorly injured, heâd have no help. He thought about taking it back, but she was already out the door.
With another sigh, Nico headed toward the bed Cecil was currently lounging on, not concerned in the slightest about the mild burns on his forearms. He picked up his head as Nico approached.
ââSup, Will!â
Nico shook his head, feeling Willâs blond wisps tickle his face as he did so, and gave his friend an exasperated smile like heâd seen Will do a million times over. âHere again, Markowitz?â
Cecil threw his head back and laughed. âMarkowitz? I thought Mr. Doom-and-Gloom was the only one who used last names like the old-timer he is?â
âUh,â Nico fumbled. âYeah, I was just⌠testing it out?â
âOkay, Doctor Solace,â Cecil rolled his eyes. âI just need the magic bandages and Iâll be on my way.â
Right, healing magic. Something Will should be able to do. But Nico doesnât know if he can make his powers work properly. âRight, Iâll just⌠get some bandages.â
Cecil didnât seem to notice or care about the healerâs apparent hesitation, simply leaning back on his bed. âSure thing. So, howâs life, my friend?â
Nico scoffed, âDonât we see each other every day? Multiple times?â
âThat doesnât mean I know how youâre doing. Is it so wrong I want to hear from my best friend, my buddy, my pal?â Cecil was so dramatic sometimes.
Nico just hummed in response as he came back with some bandages and burn ointment. Thank the gods he had helped out in the infirmary many times in the past. Will taught him the basics at least, and heâd taken care of minor injuries like this before. Hopefully, that was enough, and Cecil didnât ask for any actual hymns.
âSoooo,â Cecil drawled. âHowâs the boyfriend?â
Nico choked on air.
âOh, come on, Will,â Cecil rolled his eyes. âYou should be used to me asking by now. You know Iâm nosy!â
âI, um,â Nico didnât know what to say.
Luckily, Cecil continued. âRemember when you used to talk my ear off about Nico? I canât say I miss those days, but itâs so much harder when I have to pry for information.â
Nico was suddenly much more interested in this conversation. âI didnât used to talk that much⌠did I?â
âOh,â Cecil sat up straight, jostling his arm that Nico was trying to wrap. âDonât even give me that. You know you did. All I heard was Nicoâs so cute and heâs so strong and did you know he used to play Mythomagic? Thatâs adorable!â He mocked Willâs voice and practically swooned at the end. Even while blushing furiously, Nico had to hold in his laughter. Heâs not surprised that Will said those things, but hearing Cecil complain about it made it even funnier.
âI did not,â Nico said indignantly like heâd heard Will do so many times. He wasnât a good liar.
âYes, you totally did! Must I recount the many laments of Nicoâs beauty and grace?â
Nico really hoped his smile didnât come off as mischievously as he felt. âOh, please do.â
---
Will came by the infirmary with a plate of food toward the end of Nicoâs shift. The place was empty except for Nico sweeping the floor. Will had to pause in the doorway for a second, his mind still confused when he saw himself doing the sweeping. Is that what I usually look like? But, no, probably not. Because Nico was scowling hard at the floor as he worked, which was an odd look to see on the son of Apolloâs face.
âKnock knock!â Will called out, getting his boyfriendâs attention. Nico blinked a few times at Will, probably jarred in the same way Will was upon seeing himself.
Then he scowled again. âDonât say that in my bodyâI look dumb.â
Will gasped in mock offense, then twirled around with his plate of food. âI think I make you look good, Sunshine.â He winked at Nico for good measure, who in turn groaned and dropped the broom where he was.
The boys settled down at Willâs desk, Nico taking Willâs usual seat in case anyone came in. They didnât want any questions, no matter how innocent.
âSo, do you think this body swap business is almost done?â Will asked as they started eating.
Nico could only shrug. âHopefully. A day is the average length of a curse around here, but who knows?â
Will hummed in agreement. After a few more moments of silence, he asked, âHow was the infirmary today? Everything went okay?â
Nico nodded. âYeah, only Cecil came in with some burns.â He then smirked at his boyfriend. âHe also told me some stories.â
âOh no,â Will muttered as he buried his face in his hands. âAbout what?â He was afraid to know the answer.
âYou know, just about you⌠and how you used to gush over me all the time.â Nico was fully grinning now. Will didnât know he could look so evil.
âUgh, whyyyyy,â he groaned loudly.
âI have so much blackmail material now.â
âI hate you.â
âYeah.â
They lapsed into another brief silence before Nico piped up again. âSo, did you kill anyone in my class?â
âPsh, Iâll have you know, I am an excellent teacher,â Will puffed up.
Nico raised an eyebrow at him. âYes, but your sword skills arenât exactly up to par.â
âWell then itâs a good thing we didnât use swords today.â Nicoâs eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but before he could say anything, Will leapt out of his chair and struck what he probably thought was a heroic pose. âI regaled your students with tales of your bravery,â he trumpeted in a deep, dramatic voice. âWhile also interjecting some medical advice and emphasizing the importance of field medical knowledge.â
A beat of silence, and then, âPlease donât tell me you said it like that.â
âJust like that,â Will replied, a cheeky grin on his face.
Now it was Nicoâs turn to groan, cheeks flooding red with embarrassment. âWill! I have a reputation!â
âWhich I have elevated, youâre welcome.â He bowed as he returned to his seat.
âI hate you.â
âI know.â
#solangelo#solangelo fanfiction#solangelo fanfic#my fanfic#my fic#fic#fanfic#will solace#nico di angelo#pjo#hoo#toa#my writing#that's all I'm doing for solangelo week 2020#body swap#solangelo body swap#solangelo week 2020#solangeloweek2020#my post
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Lena/ Reader "Of course I care" and "Why have you been hiding this from me?" with Lena saying these things
Thank you for your request, anon! I hope you enjoy it <3
âââââââââââââââââââââââ-
How Long?
You could not look at another layout. They were starting to visually blur together. You worked in the art department at CatCo. Well... that was putting it modestly. You actually ran the art department at CatCo. You were just as well respected as the big names in the building, and people parted when you walked into a room.Â
But today, in particular, youâd much rather disappear and be home. See, for about a week now, youâd been feeling run down. You passed it off as being an incredibly busy week last week. You laid on an extra layer of makeup to hide the bags and your slightly red nose. You were sucking on cough drops like they were candy and had a pharmacyâs worth of cold medicine drugs in you. And they all seemed to fail you today. It was only Monday, and you had no idea how youâd make it through.
Your phone buzzed, and you glanced down to see it was Lena. She needed a preview of the current layout. Usually, youâd take it up yourself, but you grabbed the newest intern and sent them on their way. Today was one of the days Lena was at CatCo. She split her time between L-Corp and CatCo, depending on which one needed her physically in the space that week. Most of the time, she was at L-Corp, but you were all on a tight deadline with a big issue coming out at the end of the week.
You werenât avoiding Lena perse, but you had canceled yesterdayâs date night due to âworking lateâ to meet this deadline. The congestion had properly set into your voice, and it was no longer easy to conceal how poorly you were feeling. It wasnât a big deal, so you didnât bring it up. You could pass off the sneezes at Saturday brunch as Spring starting to bloom, but you were past that now. The bags under your eyes, blurring of your consonants, sniffles, and red nose, and the tickle in your throat was too distinctive and identifiable.Â
You sighed and flagged down the same bright-eyed intern youâd just sent up to the top floor. You sent them on another mission to get you a third cup of tea. You made your way to your office and sat down at your desk. You opened your tablet and scrolled through the new sets that just came in, your head resting in one hand. You were never more thankful than in this moment that your office walls, while still glass, were frosted through the middle hiding your misery.
While you were wallowing and wishing to be home in pajamas and blankets... Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor were a floor up, both of their arms crossed and their faces showing confusion.
âIt still just doesnât feel right,â Kara said.Â
âI get that,â Lena said, âI know it can be betterâŚâ She trailed off. Lena knew you could do better on it. Something about the whole situation felt off for Lena. Ever since your date night was canceled last night, she felt that something wasnât right. You had been dating for a few months now, not publicly yet, though, and youâd never canceled a date without an excellent reason to back it. Last night was different. And she knew youâd generally bring up an important layout personally so you could discuss it. Your texts, calls, and interactions the entire week had been unusually sparse.
âYou know what, Iâll take it back and see if I can work something out with her,â Lena said, cutting the brief collaboration even shorter with Kara.
âAre you sure? I have some time to take it back if you have things to do.â Kara offered.
Lena shook her head, âIâve got it, thank you, though.â
Back on your floor, you somehow missed the voices quieting down ever so slightly. You also missed hearing the distinctive click of stiletto heels on the flooring until someone was standing in your office doorway.
You looked up to see Lena standing there, the layouts from a half hour ago clutched in one hand. You sighed and waved her in.
âItâs ndot working, is it?â You asked, already knowing the answer. You internally cringed, hearing your own voice.Â
You pushed back from your desk to walk around in front and lean against it. Lena handed the layouts back to you with a few notes attached that she and Kara had added. You pushed off and paced while going over the notes.
âMiss (Y/L/N), your tea.â The intern briefly interrupted. They entered your office and handed the steaming to-go mug to you.Â
âThank you,â you said with a smile, and they hurried out of the room. You sighed when they were gone and stopped pacing.
Lena took the layouts back from you and placed them on your desk. She then took the spot you had been in and leaned into your desk. She crossed her arms and quirked an eyebrow at you.
âHow long?â is all she asked.
You rubbed your hand across your forehead. âSince last week.â
âWhy have you been hiding this from me?â Lena asked with her arms still crossed, but a concerned look was growing on her face. You couldnât help but feel a little silly and guilty even though you were the one not feeling well.
You shrugged, âI donât know.â
âLove, itâs okay, you know you can talk to me.â Lena softened completelyÂ
You sighed, âI guess itâs because youâre Lena Luthor, a very busy and important person who has bigger things to deal with than your girlfriendâs cold. I know itâs stupid, but I didnât think youâd care.â
Lena softened entirely and stood up, pulling you into a hug. âOf course I care.â
You stepped forward and buried your face into her blouse despite knowing exactly how much it cost. You were just so exhausted and miserable that you couldnât help the few tears that slipped past.Â
âLetâs get out of here. My place or yours, love?â Lena asked, rubbing slow circles on your back.
You sniffled and shook your head, still not leaving her arms, âweâre swamped right now. I canât take time off. The layout is still a mess...âÂ
âI can delegate that to Kara and your assistant. Theyâll handle it, and if they canât, they will still reach me if they absolutely need to.â Lenaâs voice was calming and soothing. You found yourself relaxing more into the hug.
âYours,â you whispered.Â
Lena kissed the side of your head and pulled back. You pulled a tissue from the box on your desk and dabbed at your tears and your nose. You took a quick glance at the small mirror you kept in your desk drawer. Thankfully your makeup seemed to have held.
âI just need to grab my things, and then we can get out of here,â Lena said after youâd picked up your bag.
You held the back of your hand to the underside of your nose and sniffled. The few tears youâd let out seemed to have loosed a bit of your congestion and irritated your nose even more. You sniffled again and turned, stifling a near-silent sneeze. Huh! N--xxt.
âBless you,â Lena said quietly.
You sniffled again, âthandks.â You shook your head, took a deep breath, and squared your shoulders. You walked briskly and led the way out of your office. It was what Lena called your CEO walk even though you werenât one. It was the presence you projected when you walked through your department and through CatCo. It was your own form of armor that no one could see through.
You both stepped into the private elevator and rode the five seconds up to the next floor. The general bullpen was even more chaotic than usual, but just like on your floor, people parted as the two of you strode towards Lenaâs office.
Soon enough, Lena had things worked out with Kara, and the two of you were back in the elevator. Knowing it was Lenaâs private elevator and wouldnât stop until you reached the ground floor, you walked to the back and leaned your head against the wall.
You closed your eyes and felt Lena rest her hand on your arm.
âDarling, do we need to stop at your place before we go to mine?â Lena asked at the volume of a whisper.Â
You shook your head and sniffled. You wriggled your nose around and brought a knuckle up to rub at it. You tried to stave off the sneeze but were failing at it. You felt Lenaâs eyes watching you, that protective hand still in place on your arm.Â
A quick glance at the numbers showed you were on the second floor, the elevator seconds away from opening while you lost the struggle with your nose. You bent at the waist and stifled a harsh double.Â
Hiiih hiih-nâxt⌠nxxgtt!Â
Huhmmpfâshu!Â
A third sneeze escaped as the doors opened.Â
âBless you, darling,â Lena said quietly, mindful of any listening ears.
âThanks,â you sniffled a few times sharply and walked out, back to business appearance.Â
Unsurprisingly, Lenaâs driver was waiting for the two of you when you stepped out of CatCo.
The ride to Lenaâs penthouse was uneventful. It was mid-morning, so traffic was light. It was quiet, Lena laying off the questioning while your sniffles filled the silence. You were far too drained to answer any of them regardless. There were no tissues in the car, which either you or Lena would definitely have to amend at some point.
âŚâŚâŚ...
The moment you entered the penthouse, your stilettos came off, and you let your sinuses finally get some relief. You ducked your head into your elbow...
Huuh uh hiii hiiuushhheeww! Ushheew⌠hiih eshhheewwww!
âBless you!â Lena said, a bit startled.
Hih achxshewW!Â
You sneezed again and sniffled. That would help your nose a bit for now.Â
âBless you, love,â Lena said and guided you towards the kitchen. You lowered your elbow and brought a hand up to swipe at your nose. Lena grabbed you a few tissues from the counter.
You took the tissues and blew your nose as much as you could.Â
âGross, sorry,â you mumbled when you were finished. You threw out the used tissues and washed your hands.
âNo need to be sorry (Y/N). You canât exactly help it.â
Lena went about placing the purses in the coat closet and collecting your shoes. Meanwhile, you used the kitchen sink to wash the majority of your makeup off. You patted your face dry with a fresh dishtowel. You sighed deeply and placed your arms on the cold granite countertops and hung your head completely miserable.Â
You sniffled and coughed; you were beyond stuffed up at that point. The congestion had fully set in.Â
âAre you mad?â You asked quietly and picked your head up. Lena walked over to you, eyebrows quirked in confusion. âThat I hid this from you?â You supplied for her.
Lena shook her head and sighed, âNo, Iâm not mad. But I do want to talk about it at some point.â She ran her fingers through your hair as you relaxed some more. You could handle that conversation later, just not now. Lena hummed as her hand came to rest on your forehead and then cheek.
âYou feel warm⌠How about you go lay down, and Iâll bring the thermometer and some medicine?â Lena suggested. She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. You blushed slightly and nodded before heading off to change and get comfortable.
When you curled up in her bed, you almost immediately drifted off to sleep. You knew when you awoke from your nap, Lena would be there with a warm mug of your favorite tea, some soup, medicine, and cuddles. Your Luthor may be icy on the outside at times, but she was a total softy. That was what you loved most about her.
#snzfic#sneezefic#lena luthor/reader#supersickfic#7nosecrinkle7#sneezing#snz#snzblr#sickfic#lena luthor x reader#crinklewrites
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the lie that wasnât: a lila takedown story
ao3 link
summary:Â Marinette Dupain-Cheng was having a good day. Sheâd managed to wake up early and get to work on time, she was able to finish the pieces for the show on Monday, and she even found a little ladybug, who she promptly named Tikki.
This was before Lila Rossi decided to intervene. She had found a new lie to tell: the top secret news that she was now dating Adrien Agreste, and was yet again making Marinette's life miserable, like she promised.
There was just one problem. Marinette was dating Adrien. And everyone knew it.
A/N:Â hey! it's n again, and happy september!
i literally cannot believe that it's september already. it feels like july was just yesterday honestly. summer's practically over, and i'm so sad :( also, iâm psychic! if you want the story just tell me lol
ps: ladybugâs face is a mooood ngl
anyways, enjoy!
______
Marinette Dupain-Cheng was having a good day. Sheâd managed to wake up early and get to work on time (her mentor and boss, M. Agreste himself managed to look surprised as she popped into his office at 9AM to exchange a quick greeting), she was able to finish the pieces for the show on Monday (her once-cancelled date with Adrien was back on now) and she even found a little ladybug, who sheâd named Tikki (after her kwami friend) resting on her sewing machine.Â
Even now, as she laid on her desk sipping cold coffee and drawing new designs, the petite bug flitted about, never leaving her general space.
The only thing that had been a slight damper on her good mood was the (probably unnecessary, thought Marinette) was the feeling of being broken, or not enough or-
It was hard to explain.
Maybe it was the endless tormenting from Lila, who had decided to make Marinette her enemy.
Maybe it was the pressure from designing and creating at Gabriel.
Maybe it was the sneers that her so-called friends gave her, after hearing Lilaâs lies.
Maybe it was⌠her.Â
Regardless of the cause, for a long time, Marinette continued to feel as if⌠she was useless, against everything life threw at her at her each and every day.Â
But before she got stuck in her dark place, she shrugged off the unwanted thoughts, instead trying to focus on the half-made design on her tablet in front of her.
It was then that, having practically nothing to do and no inspiration for designing, she instead began to think of Adrien Agreste, her boyfriend.Â
He was one of the only ones who recognized that she felt sad, who helped her and listened to her rants when she needed to clear her head.
She could even say that Adrien was the best part of her life. Even if Monsieur Agreste hadnât agreed to their relationship (which he had, since his son dating one of the most upcoming designers in the fashion industry garnered good publicity) she wouldâve still found a way to make it work, especially after she found out that he was Chat Noir.
It was no secret that they were made for each other.Â
Marinette was quickly shaken out of her thoughts once Lila Rossi entered the room. Lilaâs bold demeanor and threatening look as she strutted into the wide space with eyes set on Marinette could only mean one thing: public embarrassment.
Marinette sighed and continued brainstorming ideas.Â
Unlucky for her, Lila quickly headed her way, a sickly sweet smile on her lips.Â
What could she be thinking of now? Marinette thought.Â
It was like Lila to try and embarrass her, because Marinette had confronted her about her lies a while ago, but lately, it hadnât been too bad. Even yesterday, Marinette was just telling Adrien about how Lila seemed to be laying off.Â
It seemed like she jinxed herself.Â
âHey Marinette ,â Lila said as she approached her.
âHey Lie -La,â Marinette responded, barely glancing at her. Lila faked sadness as those around her began noticing the argument between the two. It was no shock, as it often happened, but this one seemed...different.Â
Little did they know.Â
âOh, Marinette! How could you say that?â Lila asked, wiping tears from her eyes. A few other designers around the room frowned and went to comfort Lila.
âMarinette!âÂ
âWhy are you always being so mean?âÂ
âReally, we arenât 12 year olds! Stop harassing Lila all the time!â
âYou can be so horrible at times!âÂ
âYea, canât you see how sad she is?âÂ
The clear smirk on Lilaâs face showed that she was far from sad. In fact, she seemed to be enjoying it.
âI told you Iâd make your life miserable,âshe whispered, grinning, âand this is just the beginning,â
âItâs ok everyone. We have to treat her with respect. Maybe she can change from her ways?â Lila suggested, pursing her lips into a sympathetic frown as she rubbed the sides of her arms, âAnd besides, Iâm sure that when she pushed me in the bathroom earlier, it was just an accident!âÂ
âShe pushed you?â Aurore BeaurĂŠal, a model, asked.
Lila nodded. âBut it was an accident, really!âÂ
She lifted up her sleeves on both arms to show an array of reddish-purplish bruises lining them.
âThatâs not an accident!â Pierre Allaire, another model, said from across the room. âPushing? I didnât think youâd stoop so low Marinette!âÂ
âI didnât do anything!â Marinette cried, unable to keep from shouting. âYouâre lying, Lila!âÂ
âI canât believe you!â cried Felippe Champoux, assistant to Pierre. âAccusing Lila of lying this many times when youâve been hurting her? How dare you!âÂ
âAre you ok, Lila?â asked Pierre, coming to inspect her arms. Several people crowded around her as they tried to look at her bruises.
Lila quickly rolled her sleeves down and smiled.Â
âOh, itâs ok, Iâm fine,â she smiled. âThereâs only some pain. Not even bad, really!â
Marinette groaned again.Â
âYou should feel horrible for what youâre doing!â Aurore sneered. âIn fact, I think Lila should go to court against you!âÂ
Lilaâs eyes went wide and Marinette bit her lip to stop from smirking. âLike, with a lawyer?âÂ
Aurore nodded. âWith a lawyer!âÂ
Lila laughed nervously. âN-no, thatâs not necessary!âÂ
A makeup artist from across the room frowned. âYou sure?â
Lila nodded. âYes! Marinette and I can be friends in the future! If-if we can right our wrongs, and sort this all out, we can be best friends~âÂ
The makeup artist grinned. âYouâre amazing Lila! Youâre so sweet, so nice!âÂ
Marinette swiveled in her chair and counted to 10 to stop from exploding.Â
âAww thank you!â the girl in question smiled. âYouâre too kind!âÂ
Finally, Marinette thought, itâs over for today. After a few weeks of pointed looks and many avoiding her, things would eventually return back to normal.
But Lila wasnât done yet. Like she promised, she was just getting started.
âWell, actually, this isnât the reason I came here,â Lila smiled, âI wanted to tell you all the news!â
âWhat news?â asked Felippe. âHave you been able to contact Madame Bourgeois to look at our designs?â
âI did! But unfortunately, sheâs busy making a dress for me to wear!â Lila sighed, smiling at the oohs and aahs the crowd sent her way. âOui, she does that sometimes. Sheâs like...my honorary aunt! She sends her love though!âÂ
âItâs ok. But you have to tell me about the dress sheâs making later!â Aurore squealed.
Lila grinned. âFor sure Aurore!â
âNow, I wanted to tell all of you this as soon as I was able to. I had to keep it a secret, but now I can finally tell you! My big news is that...â Lila paused for effect, âAdrien and I are dating!â
But instead of friendly cheers, the crowd around Lila exchanged confused glances. Marinette could barely keep in the smile that was about to overcome her face.Â
âWhat?â asked Pierre, âThatâs not right. Everyone knows that Adrien Agreste is dating Marinette,âÂ
Another makeup artist leaned against one of the tables. âI donât know how he can stand her, but theyâre dating all right,â
Lilaâs face went slack as she twisted over to look at Marinette in a split second, a snarl lining her face.Â
Sorry Lila, I guess you forgot about karma, Marinette thought, smirking as she looked over at her.
Because what goes around, comes around.
Lila turned her attention to the crowd and fumbled with the (so called) Louis Vuitton bag she held. âA-ah no actually! Adrien was fake dating Marinette, because-â
âWho was fake dating who?â came a voice from the hallway.Â
In walked Adrien, with a fresh coffee and a croissant from the Dupain-Cheng bakery.Â
âAdrien!â called Marinette as she jumped into his arms.Â
âHey purr-incess,â he smiled, throwing his arms around her.Â
Marinette could practically see the color drain from Lilaâs face. She pressed a kiss to Adrienâs lips and grinned.Â
âMissed you,â she whispered.
Adrien let out a quiet sigh of joy. âSame here,âÂ
âNow,â he began as Marinette released him from their embrace, âwhoâs fake dating who?â
âA-Adrien! What a surprise! I didnât know you were coming!â Lila laughed nervously. âYou donât have to fake it anymor-â
Adrien scoffed. âLila, for once stop lying will you? Youâve harassed my girlfriend enough and now you want to do it like this?â
âAdrien,â whispered Marinette.Â
âThe past few months Iâve restrained myself from coming in here, because Mari asked me not to, but Iâm here now and I have words to say,â Adrien went on.
âAdrien?â asked Marinette.
âMarinette and I are dating, you and I are not, never was, never will be. Just like all of the other lies youâve told,â Adrien said.
âAdrien,â Marinette called again. âIâm good, ok?âÂ
Adrien sighed and ran a hand through his hair. âFine, but if Lila gives you any more trouble, call me, ok?âÂ
Marinette smiled. âOk,âÂ
âOk,â Adrien grinned as he left. âSee you soon. And Alya and Nino send their love!â
With a final wave, the bluenette sighed. Clutching her coffee and her croissant, Marinette turned around to face her coworkers.Â
âMarinette, Iâm really sorry,â
âYeah, I didnât know!â
âI feel horrible,â
âLilaâs the one whoâs horrible!â
âYeah! Whyâs she trying to harm our sweet Marinette?â
âYou know, I always felt like there was something wrong with her, when she came in for the first time,â
âAnd I knew Marinette was telling the truth, I did! Unlike Lie-La ,âÂ
âHey, the name seems appropriate now!â
âAre you ok Mar-â
âStop guys,â Marinette sighed, âI canât trust you for a while. A long time. I went through so much, and you didnât believe me! That hurt!âÂ
She blinked away a stray tear before it could come crashing down as she thought of the past few months and what she had endured.Â
She furrowed her eyebrows and looked at the brunette, who was clenching her fists as she opened her mouth to speak. Before she could though, Marinette interrupted.âLila, this is your last chance. Stay away from me, otherwise Iâll be forced to take this to Nathalie, who will tell M. Agreste,âÂ
Lila gritted her teeth and snarled. âYouâre idiots! All of you!â she stated, and ran from the room.
As the crowd dispersed, Aurore stayed behind to talk to Marinette. âI assume the âbruisesâ today were makeup?âÂ
Marinette sighed. âYeah, I canât believe you didnât notice,â
Aurore chuckled bitterly. âMe either. I really thought she was getting all of those âfamous designersâ to look at my work. I was so excited!âÂ
She gripped the fabric in her hands a little harder and let out a sigh.
âBut, that doesnât excuse what I said to you. Iâm sorry, Marinette. All of us are,â
Marinette smiled. âI canât accept your apology right now, but thanks,â
Aurore nodded. âUnderstood,â
With a final wave, she turned to leave. âSee you around, Marinette,â
âSee you around Aurore,â Marinette nodded.Â
As she watched Aurore walk off, she realized for the first time in what felt like forever, she didnât feel quite so broken anymore.Â
Marinette smiled as Tikki crawled onto her finger. It was a start.
âBonusâ
Hours later, when Marinette and Adrien were driving home, Marinette leaned to entwine Adrienâs fingers with hers.Â
âWell,â Adrien sighed, âthatâs only one problem down,âÂ
â99 left to go,â Marinette finished, the edges of a smile creeping onto her face.Â
#miraculous#mlb#mlb fic#adrien agreste#marinette dupain cheng#adrinette#lila rossi#lila rossi takedown#ml lila rossi#gabriel agreste#nathalie sancoeur#nino lahiffe#alya cesaire#aurore beaurĂŠal#pierre#felippe#other designers#gabriel workplace au#fashion#fashion house au#tikki#s and nâs writing.txt
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Week 3.
-
Mar. 27
I woke up around noon today.
Spent a bit of time on the usual and getting some iced coffee before doing my exercise.
First, todayâs DD. 1Ⲡside plank hold with EC (30âł30âł). Took some focus, but manageable. It was a bit more challenging with slightly sore lats and pecs.
(After spending time to update some logs...)
Second, Day 13 of the SOP. Level 3, no rest, no assist. A fun sequence to focus on balancing work with.
Last, Day 13 of the RbP. Level 3, 1Ⲡrest. I honestly think I probably could have gotten away with nixing the rest periods entirely, this time. But ah well. Definitely had some faves in involving jumping jacks and more balance work on the legs.
After some dishes, I made todayâs Hello Fresh Meal. Rainbow Thai noodle toss. I probably shouldâve cooled the noodles a bit more thoroughly to have them not stick together as much. It was otherwise just okay. Not quite as glowingly received to put this on reprisal list.
Spent rest of night on the usual stuff. I got to bed obscenely late, again...
-
Mar. 28
I woke up after 1AM and the first thing I did today was my exercise.
First, todayâs DD. 2Ⲡjumping jacks with EC. I counted exactly 130 reps by the end. Very dun and manageable work. Though I was tempted to do more jacks or bounces I decided to reserve my energy for other stuff today.
Second, Day 14 of the SOP. Level 3, no rest, no drops. Even if this was an arm day with un/clenching fists - i was able to keep mental count of my sets in current headspace. Otherwise fairly breezy.
Last, Day 14 of the RbP. Level 3, 1Ⲡrest. More arm work. Got pretty intense and had a few lapses in thinking and tried transitioning to the horizontal scissor exercise instead of that frontal arm raise hold. I usually caught myself quickly though.
Spent a good chunk of the day chatting and having movie night again. We watched Little Shop of Horrors & Dodgeball. Martinâs scenery chewing was one of my own highlights from the former movie.
Spent rest of night doing some of the usual and some reading. I got to bed a couple hours earlier than yesterday, still in the red zone.
-
Mar. 29
I woke up around noon.
Was a bit uncertain about some appointments this week, including ability to have todayâs therapy appointment via phone. But things got straightened up and had a pleasant phone session.
After a bit of the usual, did some exercise.
First, todayâs DD. 30 leg raises with EC. Doable, a bit intense for the neck, needing to hold it up
Second, Day 15 of the SOP. Level 3, no rest. Flexibility/balance-oriented work. Breezy and fun.
Last, Day 15 of the RbP. Level 3, max rest, with allowance to let head drop to floor. Because I just did not have the energy for putting up with excessive neck strain. Regardless, abs really felt that (a bit of quads too)! One thing I liked, despite flirting with strain/fatigue was some fun sensory feedback I was getting here. Kinda making me like leg raises more, tbh.
I decided to bake some shortbread cookies to have with Loganâs jam... and it was so good. (I may consider baking another batch for Romanâs jam, and baking that on top into a glaze of sorts... maybe.)
Spent rest of night on the usual stuff. I got to bed obscenely late again...
-
Mar. 30
I woke up around noon and one of the first things I did today was exercise.
First, todayâs DD. 40 balance side lunges with EC (20/20). Just about doable.
Second, Day 16 of the SOP. Level 3, no rest, no assist (only took a seat for the leg raises here given that I wasnât sure about essentially doing a single-leg squat or wall-sit for those.... might try that next time though!) Pretty manageable, despite having modestly stiff quads.
Last, Day 16 of the RbP. Level 3, max rest. Tendon strengthening day. Took a couple sets to get things warmed up and limber, given the quads situation, but manageable. Tough work, but rewarding!
Hi the showers and made todayâs Hello Fresh Meal. Oven-ready cheesy salsa verde chicken. Getting kind of annoyed that prescribed cook-times for the oven-ready chicken dishes being under-estimated. I was already grouchy about needing to cancel tomorrowâs trip reservation (under dubious circumstances) and other shit... (Despite that, food was just okay.)
So I was too angry and tired to avoid taking a nap after that was eaten...
Spent rest of night on usual shit. Got to bed a bit earlier than yesterday, but still in the red.
-
Mar. 31
I woke up around 10AM.
Bro took me to group today. Seeking Safety went alright. Still exhausted about Everything.
Got home, did a lot of the usual and some writing, I did todayâs exercise.
First, todayâs DD.40 single arm climbers with EC (20/20). This was a tiny bit awkward arm placement throughout. Planted hand position was off-center, so remaining balanced whilst pumping the legs was a bit concerning. Probably couldâve done better form if that was a bit more on lock. Ah well, done at any rate.
Second, Day 17 of the SOP. Level 3, no rest, no drops. Arm work, I kinda like challenging myself with this program like this, I feel like my current level of fitness gets more out of it this way. :Ic
Last, Day 17 of the RbP. Level 3, max rest. Lotta up/down with it being high knees and single leg plank holds. After the first set or two, Iâm glad I took time to get my ankle popped right so it wouldnât hurt to keep up the toe-striking and jumping for the hidden burpees (probably was a tiny bit unstable/subluxed). Feeling good about that!
Spent rest of the day on reading fics and the usual. Got to bed around the same time as yesterday.
-
Apr. 1
I woke up after 1PM.
Spent time reading and whatnot before exercise...
First, todayâs DD. 80 [standing] side leg raises with EC (40/40). Happy I manged to do this whilst holding my balance the whole way through it - even if it wasnât specified.
Second, Day 18 of the SOP. Level 3, no rest. A bit more of a flexibility-oriented day, breezy work.
Last, Day 18 of the RbP. Level 3, max rest. Had to mod-down over half the upward dogs to cobras just to mitigate built up straining (and avoid triggering some ETD). Was also worried about heartburn after some food choices beforehand - but at least that wasnât an issue and I will consider it a small mercy. Also another workout for every second of rest was met with gratitude.
Spent rest of night reading fics and whatnot. I got to bed a little bit earlier than yesterday, still in the red zone.
-
Apr. 2
I woke up a bit before 1PM, today.
Spent some time filling out some stressful legal shit.
After I took a break on that, the only planned exercise today was the DD. 200 punches with EC. I swapped stances at 100. This was a fun and breezy DD. I appreciated it given how tired I was feeling...
Spent time updating my logs, while watching YouTube after that.
Then a few rounds of dishes around making todayâs Hello Fresh Meal. Szechuan beef noodles. This was just okay. I may opt to âcheatâ a little bit by putting a lil bit of sesame oil in the cook water for the ramen noodles. Still havenât quite nailed executing them without excessive sticking-together. Would be a bit more appealing texture and flavor-dispersion. But it wasnât bad.
Spent the rest of night getting some writing and writing plan/notes done.
Got to bed a bit later than yesterday.
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Image ID: A chapter image done in the style of Wizardess Heart. A large, off-white imagine with a guy on it. Heâs wearing a dark gray uniform. Thereâs a lavender bar over him that reads âTsukasa Kuze.â The rest of the text reads âMain Storyâ and âChapter 4: Studying Cut Shortâ /End ID]
Chapter summary: Tsukasa and mine's daily study session gets derailed a bit when he feels sick after practicing defense magic.
The bell rang and I slumped forward onto my desk, groaning. Itâs only been three days, but Iâm so tired. Iâm ready to take a nap. Or die. Either one. Even though Iâve been studying and practicing so hard, I canât ever catch up to everyone else.
âAre you okay?â Tsukasaâs voice sounded concerned.
âNo,â I answered honestly. Tsukasa leaned over and rubbed my back. Even through my clothes, I could feel the heat from his hand. It felt more nice than reassuring.
âIs this about our grades?â he asked.
âYeah,â I replied. âAnd Iâm tired.â Even after our study sessions, I spent hours in my room studying and practicing. If I was being honest, I probably wasnât getting enough sleep on top of still trying to get used to this new nocturnal schedule.
âDo you want to cancel our study session for today?â
â⌠No.â It was a tempting offer, but I couldnât slack off. Not when his grades depended on me.
âI donât mind canceling,â Tsukasa said.
âNo. I need to practice.â It wasnât a lie, but it wasnât exactly the whole truth. I didnât want him to know I was worried about his grades. He was probably worried about them enough without me putting more pressure on him. Tsukasa sighed.
â⌠If youâre sure.â He sounded hesitant. Reluctant. But he just stood up, gathering his things.
Have I upset him?
Quickly, I shoved my stuff into my bag and I caught up with Tsukasa. There seemed to be two streams of people: one going back to the dorms and the other heading towards what I assumed was the Night Cafe. Not that Iâd been there yet, what with Dorian cooking our meals and even packing our lunches. I wonder when he gets any sleep with how busy he is⌠And speak of the devilâŚ
As Tsukasa and I approached the library, Dorian came into view, sitting on the ground in front of the door, face in his hand.
âUh, Dorian? Are you okay?â I asked.
âHey,â Dorian responded. He got to his feet, still looking disgruntled. âIâm doing a favor for Nox and Rex. I canât let anyone into the library.â
âWhat? How come?â Tsukasa asked.
âThe hell if I know,â Dorian said with a shrug. âThey just asked me to keep people out while they investigated something in there. Whatever it was, they looked pretty freaked out about it.â
âThatâs kind of concerning,â I said.
âIâm sure itâs nothing that bad,â Dorian said. That⌠no. Just no. Was he just trying to play it down so he wouldnât scare us? Nox and Rex seemed like really tough guys. If something scared them, it would probably scare anybody. But regardless of what happened, this meant no studying in the library today. Tsukasa and I said our goodbyes to Dorian before turning back the way we came.
âUh⌠do you still want to study? We could go study at the dorms,â Tsukasa suggested.
âI think we have no choice.â We made our way to the dorms and up to the third floor where Tsukasaâs suite was.
Thereâs something interesting about seeing dorm rooms. Thereâs a special brand of uniformity to them. They have the same bed, same desks, same dressers, same lights, same flooring. But each person makes the room their own. Decorations are put up, layouts changed, personalities seep into the room. And Tsukasaâs is no different. There are photographs of him and an older guy who must be his older brother all over his wall. A pile of snacks rests on his desk and his bed is messily made.
âSorry my roomâs messy,â Tsukasa said as he started moving stuff from off of the beds to underneath them. âYou can sit wherever you like.â
âNo, itâs fine! This isnât messy at all.â I sat down on the bed across from his. Tsukasa leaned against his bed after pushing away some spare blankets. âUm, I guess I should go over earth shields since yesterday was garbage.â
âAll right, letâs do it,â Tsukasa nodded. I whipped out my wand and steeled myself. The faster I got this, the more I could hone this until it was perfect.
âO earth, protect us from harm! Suctum terra!â The image of a stone slab strong in my mind, I channeled my magic through my wand. A solid dirt slab appeared in front of me. Tsukasa smiled widely.
âHey, that looks way better!â he said. His compliment made my cheeks burn.
âThank you! Can you attack it and see if itâll stay?â
âYeah, of course. ć°´! (Mizu)!â Tsukasa drew a symbol in the air and a deluge of water came forth, slamming into my shield. I had to channel more magic into it, trying to keep it in place and together. My muscles tensed from all my concentration. Suddenly, the water stopped and Tsukasa exhaled, shoulders slumping forward.
âI think itâs good,â he said breathlessly. Yay! I did it!
âNow I just need to keep this upâŚâ Easier said than done. Not to mention, Tsukasaâs magic was improving too. I was about to compliment him when it happened. Tsukasa flopped back onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling, his chest rapidly rising and dropping.
âTsukasa?! Are you okay?â I hurried over to his bed. He nodded very slightly, eyes closed.
âYeah, Iâm fine. Iâm just a little winded and dizzy,â he told me.
âDizzy?â I get being winded from magic, but dizzy?
âItâs nothing serious,â he tried to wave my concern away. âItâs just a part of my condition.â
ââCondition?ââ I repeated. What condition?
âI just need to lay down for a moment,â he said.
âThat doesnât sound like itâs not serious.â Now that I thought about it, on the day I moved in, wasnât Tsukasa in the infirmary? Nox said something about Tsukasa scaring them. Has this happened before? As Tsukasa got on his bed, I sat at his feet. âIs there anything I can do for you?â I asked him.
âIf you could hand me a pencil and my Magic Notes, Iâd really appreciate it,â he said.
âUh, sure.â Even though I had no idea why heâd want those, I got up and rifled through his bag for them. His things werenât well-organized, but somehow I was able to find them.
âThank you.â He sat up a little and started writing furiously. I tried to sneak a peek at what he was writing, but since it was in Hinomotan, I couldnât understand it.
âWhat are you writing?â I inquired, trying not to sound too serious or nosy.
âIâm writing to my brother,â he explained. âI have to tell him whenever this sort of thing happens.â
âThatâs kind of weird. Oh!â Dang it! I need to stop blurting out things! But he didnât look offended. At least, I didnât think he did. He frowned, sad, but at least he didnât look angry. He just looked resigned.
âItâs notâŚâ He sighed, putting his pencil down.
âIâm sorry, I didnât mean it in a weird way. I was just surprised,â I said, trying not to dig myself into a deeper hole than I was already in. The last thing I wanted was a fight with Tsukasa. Not just because we were Buddies, but because I didnât want to hurt his feelings.
âNo, I understand,â Tsukasa said. âI know itâs weird, but Azusaâs insistent on it.â Again, he sighed. He picked his pencil back up and continued writing. âItâs invasive, but thereâs nothing I can do about it.â
With a flourish, he finished the note and sent it off. The sorrowful look on his face tugged on my heartstrings. Itâs really not a good situation to be, isnât it?
âTsukasa⌠You donât have to tell me, but whatâs going on?â I reached out for his hand absentmindedly. It took me a moment to realize what Iâd down, but before I could take my hand back, Tsukasa grabbed it. He gave it a gentle squeeze before letting go. His eyes avoided mine.
â⌠Youâd find out eventually⌠And I guess this affects you since weâre BuddiesâŚâ he muttered. He took a deep breath. âIâve always been sickly. Ever since I was a child, I always had problems with my immune system. I get sick really easily and I donât think Iâm ever truly healthy. Iâve almost died a few times, but Iâve managed to pull through. I had a really bad bout of cholera when I was fourteen and after that, Azusa insisted we move to Gedonelune because the medication Iâm taking is readily available here and itâs hard to get in Hinomoto.â
Tsukasaâs arms folded in front of his chest.
âAzusaâs always been so busy working to support us that itâs always been our system that if I wasnât feeling well, I tell him immediately so he can keep up to date with how Iâm feeling. I was fine with it when we were younger, but now that weâre adults, it just feels invasive. I know heâs just doing it because he cares about me, but he raised me and he knows Iâm always sick. I donât see why he has to know everything.â
âIs your medication not helping?â I asked.
âUgh, I donât know. It really helped me the first few years I took it. I got sick only once or twice a year. But in the last year or so, Iâve been getting sick more often and I honestly donât know if itâs actually doing anything. But Azusa keeps insisting I need to take itâŚâ
His shoulders slumped and my heart sunk. I couldnât begin to imagine how much stress Tsukasa was under. Not only did he have to deal with being sick, but he had to deal with his brother being overbearing. In that moment, a single thought occurred to me: If I got good enough at magic, maybe I could help him. Was healing humans and animals really all that different?
Once again, my hand reached for Tsukasaâs. But this time, I didnât wait for him to grab it.
âIf you need anything, Iâm here for you,â I told him. His hand was so warm as it squeezed mine back. A small smile was on his lips.
âThank you. That really means a lot to me.â A moment passed and yet again, I realized what we were doing.
âOh! Iâm sorry, I swear my head isnât on right today,â I stammered. I pulled my hand out of his. Thankfully, he just laughed; he didnât seem angry.
âI donât mind holding your hand,â he said. For some reason, that made my stomach feel all fluttery. I needed to become an official student now. Not just for myself, but to try and help Tsukasa. To help him relax and repay the kindness heâs shown.
Tsukasa and I decided to cut our study session short and after doing some homework together, I returned to my dorm. Like usual, the door to the suite was open. As I approached, I could hear talking in the kitchen. I poked my head in and saw Aika and Dorian. Aika sat at the table, flipping through a book while Dorian stood at the stove.
â⌠Okay, add the paprika and let it simmer for fifteen minutes,â she instructed him.
âGot it,â he nodded.
âWhatâre you making?â I asked, coming into the kitchen and taking a seat across from Aika. The two smiled.
âThere you are! I was wondering where you were, what with the library being closed,â Aika said.
âYeah, did you guys get your study session done?â Dorian asked.
âAw, you were studying with your Buddy~?â Aika teased me. Hm. I donât know if I like that lilt.
âWell, yeah, of course I studied with Tsukasa.â Why was I feeling so defensive?
âYou two are so cute together,â Aika commented. âCute together?!
âWhat?!â I squeaked. My face was burning and I wanted to disappear into thin air. Why are they being so weird?!
âPft⌠Donât get your underwear in a twist,â Dorian laughed. âAika just thinks you two are a cute couple.â
âWeâre not a couple though?!â I corrected him.
âYet,â Aika said with a wink.
âYou guys are spending a lot of time together,â Dorian pointed out, the edges of his lips curled into a grin.
âBecause weâre Buddies. We have to work together. Our fates depend on each other.â I told them. But they kept smiling and it was clear my words didnât mean a thing to them.
âCome on, isnât there something romantic about being with someone that your fate is tied to? Right, babe?â Dorian looked to Aika, who was staring off into space. She perked up, looking around the room like a Meerkat looking for predators.
â⌠Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, totally,â she said. Dorian pouted at her.
âAt least pretend to pay attention when Iâm bullying someone,â he said. This was only going to get worse, wasnât it? They really werenât going to listen to the truth that Tsukasa and I were just friends.
âY-You guys are too much!â I cried. I quickly fled from the room, Dorianâs laughter chasing after me.
âDinner in an hour,â he called after me. I slammed my door shut, leaning against the back and sliding to the ground. My face felt hotter than lava. Why are they like that?! Is making people embarrassed their hobby?!
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It was obvious I was flustered. But why? I didnât see Tsukasa romantically, so why did their teasing feel like a personal attack on top of just being embarrassing in general?
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ultimately - chapter two
masterlist
robin buckley fan fic
a/n: how we liking this so far?
warnings: smoking, language
not my gif!
chapter two - itâs a date
robin felt nervous for the second day of school as she thought of her schedule and each of her individual classes. she felt herself get more nervous when her mind got to her english class as she thought of the schoolâs newest mystery
robin was suddenly missing the old way the classes were set up. they had a days and b days but the district made it to where they classes were shorter and you went to all of them in a day. she liked the change at first but now all she could think about how she was going to see this new presence every day.
all day she anticipated that period and when it finally came she felt like she was going to throw up but thinks she did a pretty good job at masking it
when she entered the classroom, she greeted mrs. olsen before seeing emily already sat at her desk. she was reading the scarlet letter, the book they were told would be their first one of the semester. the distaste she was feeling towards the book was so apparent and robin took notice.
robin walked towards the desk she sat at the day before and began putting her things down ânot good?â
emily angrily put her bookmark into the book and aggressively dropped it onto her desk âitâs the god damn puritans they ruin everythingâ
robin laughed to herself as she looked through her backpack
the class period went by pretty quickly, they were discussing the background information for the scarlet letter as emily continued reading said book and hating every second of it hi iâm kale, the author of the fic and scarlet letter anti
once mrs. olsen finished with her lecture, she allowed the remaining class time to be free time for the class to which emily, unlike almost every other person in the class, got excited and moved to a different seat to be close to a friend, kept her head burried in the book, showing no signs of emotions to the words being said around her
robin started to pack her things before she was startled by the familiar sound of a book being angrily thrown onto a desk âhave you started this shit yet?â
robin looked to her right to see emily looking at her, anticipating a response
âyeah i started it during lunch todayâ
âhow the hell can you read in that chaos of a cafeteria?â as emily spoke, robin became lost in her details. she got lost in her uneven part in her hair, most likely from her running her hand through it. she got lost in her jewelry that she had seen the day prior; the leather bracelets and small silver bands on her fingers and the necklace she wore tucked into her shirt that robin could catch a glimpse of here and there. she was lost in her but snapped out right in time to answer her.
âi go outside during lunchâ
âinterestingâ
the bell rang and emily packed her things as robin walked past her
robin turned around briefly as she was allowing people to go before her in exiting the doorway and was met with emilyâs eyes staring right back at her. this time there was no smile, but robin wasnt scared like she had been in every other interaction with her.
after a few seconds robin exited and made her way to calculus. the entire period consisted of her inability to concentrate without her mind wondering to those last few moments of english.
now all she could think of was the clock ticking and how soon she would be in her presence again in their advanced european history class
she hurried downstairs immediately once the bell rang and tried her best to get there before anyone could take her seat next to her
but once she got there, emily was no where to be seen and didnât come to class at all during that period. robin felt somewhat worried but let it pass as she tried to focus on the course at hand, at least while she had the mental stability to do so since the one who had been distracting her so much was no longer there
the next day, robin let the endless possibilities as to where emily could have gone wander through her mind until those thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a granola bar landing in her lap as she sat underneath her beloved lunchtime tree
robin looked up to see emily, smiling so faintly it could hardly be seen
âwhatâs this?â robin didnât eat lunch every day and it was a rare occurrence for someone she barely knew to just give her food like this. regardless she started to open the packaged good and break it in half, holding one half up to emily in an offering
emily grabbed the half bar and popped it into her mouth as she began to sit next to robin âyou werenât eating anything, the granola bar was at my disposal, 2 + 2 robinâ
âi didnât know you had this lunchâ robin hadnât seen her at all in the last couple of days
âyeah because itâs still summertime technically and its hot so i choose to be a normal person and stay insideâ robin laughed at this statement
âit isnt even that hotâ
emily mockingly laughed at her âeasy for you to say, iâm from further north where cold is cold and it stays comfortable any other time of the yearâ as she spoke she took the cigarette that was carefully placed behind her ear and lit it. she began to take off the maroon jacket she was wearing
the girl began to lay down in the grass, still taking in her cigarette every five seconds or so
robin looked at the girl as the sun shines onto her face that now was home to her closed eyes âwhatâ
the girl sat up and grabbed her bottled water and took a drink from it
ânothingâ robin felt flustered by the girl and it was taking everything she had not to show it
robin remembered the day before âwhere were you yesterday in last periodâ
emily was looking around at the other students surrounding her a robin. it seemed as if she was trying to find someone âfamily emergencyâ
âwhat kind of emergencyâ
emily redirected her attention to robin âa family oneâ
the bell rang, signaling they now had to make their way to english
emily got up first so she could help robin up before throwing her cigarette onto the sidewalk and extending a hand to robin who was holding her chemistry and physics textbooks and was indeed struggling
âwhatâ
âgive me oneâ
âwhyâ
emily rolled her eyes before grabbing one of the books from robin, despite her protest
robin tried to argue but emily just started to walk off as she flipped through the pages of the advanced chemistry book
âoo atomic theoryâ emily seems intreged by the contents of the book, paying little to no attention to her surrounds
robin smiled to herself as she saw the girlâs fascination
once they got to the classroom, emily rolled her eyes once again as chase began to approach her. she looked at robin, handing her the textbook to then give chase her attention once more
âwhatâ
âsoâ
emily looked at robin who was sitting at her desk now, watching the situation unfold as a small grin appeared upon both of their lips
âbasically i thought iâd give you these last couple of days to settle in and what not. i know a new school could be tough so now iâm here to officially ask you on a date this saturday at the drive in...â
emily looked at the boy who seemed desperate. but not for her acceptance but his friendsâ.
âsorry chase, iâve already got plansâ
a boy named tyler approached the scene from behind chase, âyou literally just got here what could you possibly have to do on your first saturday nightâ
emily looked to robin âi have plans with robinâ
robin furred her eyebrows in confusion before unfurring them when she saw the heads of the two boys turn to look at her as she gave them a sarcastic smile in agreement
the bell rung for class to begin and emily watched as the two boys went back to their desks before going to hers
for most of the class period, no one spoke except mrs. olsen until she announced that partners were to be made to discuss the scarlet letter
robin was about to turn to emily before she felt someone pulling her hand towards the back corner of the room, right by the window where emily then hopped onto the countertop
âits a shit book, there we discussed itâ robin found emilyâs hatred for the book amusing
she jokingly tried to object âi donât know i think itâs pretty goodâ
emilyâs head immediately shot to robinâs face, away from the window she had been looking out of ânow iâm definitely canceling our plans for saturdayâ
she saw chase turn around at these words before she shot him down once again âiâm kidding chaseâ
robin and emily used the ten minutes they had to discuss their favorite books without going into excruciating detail. emily liked books that made her feel at ease but excited at the same time. âi like books that make me feel like iâm in love againâ
robin was growing the love her mind, and emily was growing to love robinâs
once the bell rung, robin helped emily down from the countertop and walked with her until she arrived at the enterance of her classroom. it took her a few seconds to lose the smile she was sporting because of emily, which kind of bugged her. it was killing her vibe.
robin had realized that calculus was just going to have to be difficult if this was how she was going to show up to class everyday; struck and counting down until the class was over
once robin got to european history she saw emily once again, reading the scarlet letter and looking like she wanted to end herself and that book
âstill not any good?â
emily put the book down as robin began to take her seat and ran both of her hands through her hair âi am constantly annoyed by every single one of the charactersâ
robin felt nervous as she asked her next question âwere you serious about the saturday thing?â
emily started to laugh as she mocked robin âaww does freckles want to go on a date with me?â
robin rolled her eyes as she laughed with her âno its just a questionâ
the girl next to her briefly paused her laughter to raise her eyebrows in a âreallyâ sort of format
âfor clarificationâ
emily caught her breathe before looking robin in the eyes âfrecklesâ
âyes?â
âwould you do me the honor of fulfilling my lie that i said to avoid the biggest idiot in this school?â
robin was smiling, even though she wished she wasnât âsureâ
âgreat itâs a dateâ
next chapter
#robin stranger things#stranger things au#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things#robin buckley x you#robin buckley x reader#robin x y/n#robin x you#robin buckley#robin x reader#robin fanfiction#robin#maya hawke
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Swamp Thing Season 1, episode 7 thoughts:
Todayâs episode was just simply beautiful and sad between Alec and Abby in a way you could only expect it to end the way it did. It had so many lying implications between the 2, then one can realize besides the whole âProtagonist not wanting to lose the one he loves.â
Donât get me wrong Iâve wanted a Swamp Thing & Abby Arcane live action done right since I saw âThe Return of Swamp Thingâ in 1989/1990. But I just love the whole dynamic being stretched nearly to a near-fatal breaking point.
Accepting Alec - My thoughts on this is just a jumbled mess; it hurts: Accepting Alec played a massive part in this episode. Unlike the Abby Arcanes of the past - The Alan Moore Saga, The Return of Swamp Thing, or the New-52, or even the cartoon mini-series - it has taken her longer to accept Alec as Swamp Thing. Even after she learned from Susie, it was Alec the only time they really touched was briefly when she was suffering from the Darkness-Hallucinogens, and when he showed her what happened to Shawna. It wasnât until after he tried saving her the Alec Holland-Way failed and had to save her the Swamp Thing-Way that she finally seemed to accept him for what he was now, even though she still wants to find a way to revert him back to human.Â
I think the whole hallucination-power was a way to see what they truly wanted. He wanted to remain Alec for her and tried to give up the Swamp Thing persona, but came to the conclusion that if he did things the Alec Holland-Way, he was helpless. Abby also showed that she genuinely wanted Alec back to the way he was, but I am starting to think that was working against them. Think about it, in the previous he said he worried that accepting his new situation would take him further away from her, but they remained at least 10 feet apart from each other.Â
Except for the few instances of him touching her, they always seem to have had some distance between them. Even weary on letting the other touch each other. But yet after the pollen made him look like Alec to her, it seemed like they were more willing to be close to one another even touch each other. More so after he fought The Rot off in her body. Up until this time, part of their relationship seemed very superficial on Abbyâs part, but one can also argue that it was also superficial on Alecâs side, to want to be seen as âThe Charming Man she knew.â
Ugh⌠I gotta get off this bit, or I am going to keep going turning this into an essay and want to bash my head in trying to wrap my mind around these thoughts.
Abbyâs Purpose: In all of Swamp Thing, except for the cartoon mini-series and the 90s Live Action series which I can't remember if she was in it or not, Abby Arcane has always been his heart - his humanity if you will. She was the only one in the Alan Moore saga to keep reminding him of his humanity. That it didnât matter if he was a sentient plant being with Alec Hollandâs consciousness, in her eyes, he WAS Alec Holland. In the New-52 even after he became Swamp Thing and she became sensitive to âThe Rotâ and showed that she had Rot-Powers, she still reminded him of his humanity.
When he has been at the lowest or darkest point in his life, she would always be there to help him.
So far even though it is a mere fraction of what she has done compared to her comic book counterparts, she does seem genuinely vested to be that support he so desperately needs. She like her comic counterparts, even though she had trouble seeing him as Alec up until last weeks episode - she has always reminded him that he is Alec Holland. (which for the most part to us the viewers we donât know if he IS STILL Alec Holland like the New-52 Alec who was dying from his wounds in which the Green turned him into the Warrior-King Swamp Thing or a Sentient Entity of the Green with his consciousness). But even if we do learn what continuity they decide to use, she NEEDS to be there for him, regardless of him not wanting her in the swamps of Marais. I just hope with the series being unfortunately canceled (and not being picked up elsewhere by the looks of it so far) it is done in a proper manner that doesnât make it campy or they kill Abby off. I do want to see her in grievous danger, in which Swampy and possibly Daniel come to her aid.
A little off topic I do hope to see that they go the Alan Moore route, one that scene is just so powerful in the comics. This because after Woodrue mind-fucks him at Sunderlandâs corporation building and deals with Woodrue, he searches for the body and buries it cutting ties to âthe person who was once Alecâ and was so resistant against Abby calling him Alec for the longest time - till he said she could. But that being said there is another reason why I hope they go this route and explore whether Swamp Thing is Alec Holland or not. I am a Guyver fan, in which death is no big deal to Guyvers because they regenerate newer bodies after their control medals have been ripped out of their heads. They very haphazardly explored the whole âIf a the Guyver regenerates a newer body, is the person that same person or a shell of that person with their memories?â
Living as Alec & Alecâs Helplessness?: I kind of liked the idea that even though he was still Swamp Thing, and appeared to Abby as Alec, I liked how they did it. After a recent second viewing of yesterdayâs episode, I think they (producers and writers) meant it to be like a test to not just Abby (in seeing if she could genuinely accept Alec the way he is) but a test for Alec. Earlier I mentioned the Alec Holland-Way, I think even as Swamp Thing he really wanted to live life as Alec would have. He also tries to desperately save Abby as Alec would have against the Rot, until realizing it wasnât going to work out.
Now some of you may be saying, âwhoa there, that doesnât mean he is helpless!â But in doing things, the Alec-Way also contributed to Abby getting attacked by that tendril. As Swamp Thing, he would have possibly been able to stop that thing from punching her in the first place. Which even though I say that, I kind of like the idea of Alec struggling with the tendril, because in the New-52 continuity. For those wondering it was established that he begins to lose his power in areas profoundly affected by the Rot. Trying to live as Alec would have possibly weakened his power even more, because as Avatar of the Green, even in Rot Infested areas he should have been able to get it off of her and rip it to shreds.
A return to The Return of Swamp Thing?: I have to admit I loved Alec and Abby in the swamp together walking through it like a couple in love (Someone PLEASE do a video of Swamp Thing/Alec and Abby to this song when the series is over- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFmisnHehtg. It would make us Swamp Thing/Abby Old-Timers with no music video making knowledge happy). It was very reminiscent of Dick Durockâs and Heather Locklearâs wandering the swamp to me, even heard their original theme in my head during their scenes.Â
Abbyâs Darkness?: When Alec was desperately trying to save her, what if he merely prolonged something else in her? What if the Tendril was attempting to turn her into an Avatar of the Rot like she was in the New-52 saga? She mentioned âthe darknessâ in the euphoria of pain, and her skin tone and body started to appear like her new-52 counterpart. Now that being said, what if Alec using the green merely suppressed it? Because it is a possibility, he got a glimpse of the darkness of her own past when he took hallucinogenic-darkness away from her in episode 4. A crack theory I know, but I feel like that scene was supposed to mean something besides Abby getting attack and Swamp Thing dropping the Alec persona to save her.Â
These are all the thoughts that have been running through my head and have plagued me for the last 15 hours @.@ Iâm tired, and I donât want to hurt my brain anymore tonight.
That being said other great highlights of were Maria stealing the Sunderland Company from Avery. Wasnât overly excited over Lucilia and Mattâs scenes, if anything they have earned whatâs coming to them. I still like the dynamic of James Woodrue and Caroline, you can genuinely see that James is so flat out determined to save his wife which kind of mirrors Abby being so committed to saving Alec.Â
I do like the scene with Liz and Matt, however, mainly because, that in the Alan Moore Saga (which is like the holy grail of Swamp Thing lore) only 4 people knew of Alec being Swamp Thing before he was captured. Matt Cable, Abby Arcane-Cable, Liz Treymayne, and her husband. Thus far, it seems like the series is genuinely doing all of Swamp Thing (movies, comics, cartoons, Â series) true justice while forging itself as a new identity for the Avatar of the Green.
With Abby going back to Atlanta, I can't wait to see scenes of her with Adrienne Barbeuxâs Doctor Palomar and Abby together in a scene. Will they make her first name Alice (as in Alice Cable from the 1982 movie) Will Adrienne get a scene with both Swampy and Abby as if to pass the torch on to this new generation of Swamp Thing stars? Will she give Abby some guidance on what to do with particular Swamp creatures (lol)?
But I still have questions!
Where is that Good Boy Garou?
What happened to Susie?
What happened to Margaux?
Anyway, I am finally done with this post. I am off to go listen to some Godzilla movies as I drift off to sleepy land.
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sun 19th March 2023 journal 09:48am
good morning world. Iâm tired as fuck. this whole week has taken a lot of energy out of me. Been applying for some jobs every day and going to work on weekends and then learning these musical numbers on top of everything as well as recalling choreography. I have alot of things cut out for me. And I still need to meet with some agents. I never really deep how well Iâm doing in the midst of things that are hard or even after. Like after writing all that I just re read what Iâd written and that is alot of my plate and Iâm still doing it. I could be doing more though and i plan on doing more. Iâve had to stop the edibles for the time being and the smoking for the time being to focus. My only thing is I need to eat healthier and spend less. Spent ÂŁ11 on kfc yesterday which is ridiculous but it was a one off considering I didnât really get much of a break at work. Iâm gonna see my dad today, go for a walk with mum and then do some more character work. I tried to watch Star Wars Episode 1 yesterday evening but man all that exposition fucking sent me to bed. Like idk if thatâs the first movie of the series or if Iâm even watching it in order but regardless of that point it took forever to get somewhere and I gave up cause I was too tired. I also wanna say as a massive side note to TFL and the conservative government you can all suck my dick and suck your mums for your terrible service and rail fare increases. Your service is still shit. Yet your fares arenât reflective of how shit your services are. I spent 40 mins in London Bridge station on a train, on Friday evening only for that train to cancel. This is why Iâm gonna start bumping train. Itâs not like I donât do it already but still. cause this is not acceptable. John gave me some free game on the industry again on Friday. He said talent is third most important thing when being a creative. Second is can they work with you and the first really is your look. Do you look like what theyâre looking for. The more I learn about this industry I realise how wrong I was about it. He also said your craft is your own. How you do things is for you and you only. I know that already but still. Itâs nice to be reminded. I donât like being poor. Itâs like a stifling feeling. I need active ways to get self care under way that actually work. NOTE: JOHN FACETIMED ME AND WE SPOKE FOR LIKE TWO HOURS SO YEAH THIS WASNT COMPLETED. no sign out time.
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Workaholic
Day 14 of the 25 Days of Christmas
Summary:Â Dan and Phil can't stand each other but Phil's son loves Dan and Dan is actually a very good babysitter. Phil can't afford to lose him, no matter how much he hates him.
Words: 2.8k
Read it on AO3
A/N:Â This is actually one of my favourite fics so far so I really hope you enjoy it!
Phil  wasn't sure what he had ever done to deserve such a fate.  He couldn't understand why his son idolised Dan Howell and he couldn't stand him.
It put him in a very precarious situation where he had to be careful over what to say to Dan. Â Anything too offensive or insulting could have him packing his bags and then his son would end up hating him. That's the last thing Phil wanted.
âI just put Alex to bed but we both know he won't sleep until you go tuck him into bed yourself,â Dan said,  walking into his office  without knocking.  Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
Phil got up and walked to his sonâs bedroom but not before giving Dan a dirty look. âWould it kill you to knock before walking into my office?â
Dan ignored him and followed him to Alexâs bedroom. âAlex, your dad is here to tuck you in properly,â he said and smiled when he saw the look of joy on the child's face.
âDaddy!â Alex screamed, Â throwing his arms up for a hug. âI didn't know you got back from your work trip. Dan and I had lots and lots of fun today. Â We went to see the animals, and a man gave me a carrot to feed the horses. Â Their mouths felt funny daddy.â
Phil grinned, Â his sonâs excitement was contagious. Seeing Alex smile like that was the reason he kept Dan around, regardless of his personal feelings towards the man. Dan connected with his son in a way none of the previous babysitters managed and Phil was grateful. Â It was such a relief for him to see Alex happy when he left for business trips rather than tearful and throwing tantrums.
â I wanted to surprise you,â Phil said, Â leaning down to hug his son and sitting down next to his bed. â I'm glad you had so much fun with Dan today. Â Did you like the horses?â
âThe horses were really cool,â Alex gushed, waving his arms around to show his excitement. âThen after the horses Dan took me to get an ice-cream and let me get two scoops, didn't you Dan?â
Dan smiled at him fondly and nodded. âI sure did. You deserved it for being so brave and feeding the horses. Next time we'll go to the zoo instead and visit a lot of different animals.â
Alexâs  answering  beam  made everything worth it for him. â I'll go wash the dishes we used for dinner.  I'll leave you to tell your dad about everything we did today.â
Dan locked out of Alexâs bedroom but didn't close the door all the way. Instead of going to the kitchen like he said, Dan stuck around and peeked through the gap in the door.
âI'm glad you had so much fun with Dan today buddy,â Phil was saying, tucking the bedsheets around his son. âI know how much you like to spend time with him.â
Dan couldn't hold back a small smile. Phil was a completely different person when he was around Alex. With Alex he was sweet, loving and playful. When he was with Dan he turned into an arrogant bastard he loved to hate.
Dan moved away from the door and made his way to the kitchen before Phil could realise he was still there. He was in the middle of washing the dishes when Phil walked in. âYou know you don't have to do that. Your job is babysitting Alex not washing the dishes.â
Dan shrugged. âI don't mind. There werenât too many dirty dishes and I don't like leaving a mess behind me,â he said. He noticed Phil standing awkwardly near the door and rolled his eyes. âDid you need something?â
Phil stiffened at seeing Dan rolling his eyes but didn't comment on it. He needed a favour from him and getting in his bad books would not help him out. âI need you to look after Alex tomorrow.â
Dan dropped the dish in his hand and turned around to glare at him. âWhat do you mean you need me to watch him tomorrow? You gave me the day off and I remember you telling Alex you would spend the whole day with him tomorrow to make up for the business trip you just got back from.â
âAn important meeting came up for tomorrow. Itâs only for a day but I couldn't get out of it. I'm sure Alex wonât  mind that much, he loves spending time with you,â Phil said, failing to contain his bitterness.
âOf course heâs going to mind!â Dan snapped, throwing the dish towel on the table in anger. âThis is the third time this month. You're always promising Alex you'll be spending the day with him only to cancel when a meeting or business trip comes up. No wonder he feels like you care about your job more than you care about him.â
Phil  was about to retaliate when Danâs  words registered. âWait,â he said, looking at Dan in horror.  âWhat do you mean he thinks I care about my job more than him? I swear to God Howell if you're making this up to get to me, Iâll -â
âI'm not making anything up,â Dan interjected before Phil could threaten him. âAlex had trouble sleeping these past three nights. He kept waking up in the middle of the night and coming to my room saying he is scared of sleeping on his own. Yesterday I slept next to him in the hopes he wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night. It didn't work, and he woke up sobbing and rambling about how you love your job more than him. He thinks he did something wrong.â
Phil tried to swallow but felt a lump in his throat. He knew that he was not around very much and his son missed him but he didnât realise it got to where his son thought he didn't love him. Phil though Danâs presence would be enough, but he was wrong.
Phil almost phoned his secretary right away to ask her to cancel the meeting, but he knew his company would suffer if he did that. âIt's too late to cancel now,â he said, walking out to get away from Danâs disappointed look. âI'll make it up to him.â
âYou always say that.â
*
The morning after was hard on Phil. He had to pretend he didn't see Alexâs lip wobbling when he told him he had to go to work and that he didn't hear him crying in Danâs arms when he closed the door behind him.
Phil wasnât heartless. Alex was the most important person in his life and it broke his heart knowing he was the one causing his son pain. But he couldn't give up his job. It didn't mean Phil loved his job more than his son but he knew that sometimes sacrifices needed to be made. Â Alex would understand once he was a little older.
At least thatâs what Phil told himself on his way to work as an attempt at easing his guilty conscience. He tried convincing himself Alex would stop crying and get over his disappointment once Dan took him out for a day of fun.
âDan has everything under control,â Phil said to himself, Â ignoring the irony of putting everything in the hands of the person he was supposed to hate.
*
Barely an hour into the meeting, Phil realised it wasn't going to work. He kept thinking about Alex and whether Dan got him to calm down. As a result, he hadn't listened to a word that was said. What was the point of disappointing his son once again if he wasn't even going to take part in the meeting?
âIâm sorry, I can't do this,â he announced, standing up. He walked out of the meeting room without a backward glance, Â uncaring of the repercussions.
Danâs words the night before really struck a chord. He didn't want his son to grow up thinking his dad loves his job more than him. Phil kept saying Alex was the most important person in his life, but what good was that if he never showed it?
âLisa, Â I want you to cancel all my plans for this week; I'm taking the week off,â he said and walked out of his office before his secretary even had the chance to question him.
Phil was going to spend time with his son, and no one was going to stop him.
*
Phil got home just as Dan and Alex were about to leave for the park.
âDaddy!â Alex yelled, running up to his dad and throwing himself at him. âI thought you said you have an important meeting.â
âTurns out it wasn't that important,â he explained, ignoring the smug smile Dan was directing at him. âDo you mind if I join you at the park? It's been a while since I've been there.â
Alex looked as if Christmas had come early this year. It only made Phil feel guiltier for having ignored his son for such a long time. Alex shouldn't be looking so excited over getting to go to the park with his dad.
He was just about to tell Dan that he was no longer needed and he could take his day off when Alex grabbed his babysitterâs hand and dragged him over to Phil. âCome on Dan, we can teach my dad how to play Catch. The last time my dad and I played Catch together he lost, so he's not great but maybe he can beat you today.â
Phil didn't have to heart to tell Dan to leave when he saw how excited his son looked at the prospect of them playing Catch together.
Dan seemed to be on the same wavelength because he smiled and agreed with Alex rather than announce he was leaving. Phil would just have to deal with his presence.
âCome on then, letâs go to the park.â
*
Hanging out with Dan was weird. Phil found himself not knowing what to say. On one hand, he didn't want it to be awkward for Alexâs sake. But he had spent so much time hating Dan and everything he stood for that now it felt weird having to act civilly for more than a few minutes.
It seemed Dan was finding it just as strange, judging by the weird looks he was giving Phil when he thought he wasn't looking.
Seeing the way Dan behaved with Alex, Phil felt his hatred towards the man fade away. How could he hate someone who spent so much time making sure his son felt loved while he was away?
If it wasn't for Dan, Alex would not be the happy boy he was seeing right now and their relationship could have been too damaged to fix if Dan wasn't around to keep Alex company.
The longer he spent with Alex in Danâs company, the more Phil realised the reason he hated Dan so much. It was jealousy. Seeing the close relationship Dan shared with the son, Phil couldn't help but feel jealous even though he knew he only had himself to blame for the closeness he lacked with his son.
Phil fooled himself into thinking he hated Dan for mundane reasons such as him not putting back Alexâs toys in their original place. After all the failed babysitters who wanted nothing to do with Alex, Phil should have been grateful that Dan stuck around through all of Alex's tantrums in the beginning.
Phil also knew that he owed Dan a thank you for what he said previously. Â Phil thought his words to be hard and unnecessary. He didn't think it was the babysitterâs place to tell him that he wasn't spending enough time with his son.
Now he knew that if Dan hadn't spoken like that, he would not be spending the day with them at the park. Instead, he would be at the meeting, bored out of his mind.
Phil waited until Alex was busy going down the slide to talk to Dan. âThank you,â he said, surprised to find he really meant it.
Dan looked just as shocked as he felt. âYouâre thanking me without being sarcastic? Thatâs a first.â
Phil did not raise to the bait. He knew Dan was just trying to get a reaction out of him and Phil didn't want to do that. What he really wanted to do was explain himself. âActually, I am. I know I haven't given you the best impression of myself,â Â he said, ignoring the incredulous look Dan was aiming at him. âIâm aware I work a lot. That is something that will have to change. I can't keep putting my job before Alex and you made me realise that.â
âI always knew you love your son, in your own way. I just thought you had a funny way of showing it. It was difficult for me to understand how you could leave your son with a babysitter day after day while you went to work or on business trips that took weeks,â Dan explained with a shrug.
Now that they were talking in a civil manner, Phil could understand Danâs point of view and why he would think like that. To the outside eye, he looked like someone who couldn't care less about his son. However, that couldn't be further from the truth. Phil just hoped Dan could see that now.
âI the rest of the week off. My secretary knows not to contact me this week unless it's an emergency. I plan on spending all my time with Alex and I was hoping you would join us,â Phil said, Â having to hide a smirk when he saw the surprise on Danâs face.
âYou want me to hang around while you're spending time with Alex?â
Phil nodded. âYouâre important to Alex, whether I like it or not. For the past few months, heâs every waking moment with you because I wasn't around. If you suddenly disappear for a week Alex will get upset and those are not my intentions. I know I promised you a day off, but I was hoping we could reschedule?â
Dan nodded, but he was still looking at Phil in suspicion. âFine, Iâll spend the week with you. Letâs make one thing clear though,â he said, pointing at Phil. âIâm not doing this for you. Â I'm doing this for Alex, because I don't want him to think I've abandoned him. Are we clear?â
âCrystal.â
*
1 year laterâŚ.
âDan!â Alex shouted, running down the stairs. âDaddyâs back!â
âNo running down the stairs,â Dan called back, although he knew it would fall on deaf ears.
Dan was just as excited as Alex for Philâs return. Phil had been gone for two weeks, on a business trip which would take his company to the next level. It was the longest business trip he had gone on ever since his conversation with Dan in the park.
He still had numerous meetings he needed to attend to but he no longer works the long hours he used to before. In the time he was away, Dan was more than happy to take care of Alex. Dan was just glad that Alex got his dad back.
Phil opened the door to find Alex and Dan waiting to greet him.
Alex got to him first, and he dived into his fatherâs arms, a grin lighting up his face. âI missed you so much Dad!â
âI missed you too, buddy. Did you have a nice time with Dan?â
âIt was great! We went to the aquarium, the zoo and the playgroundâŚâ
Phil wanted to hear all about the adventures his son got up to while he was gone, but first he wanted to greet his boyfriend properly. He waited for Alex to finish his current story and then spoke up before he could recount something else. âHey Alex, how about you go wash your hands so we can have dinner and then Iâll give you the presents I bought you?â
âPresents!â Alex said, running out before Phil could say much else.
Phil pulled Dan in close for a kiss and smiled when his boyfriendâs arms wrapped around his neck. âMissed me?â
âYou know I did,â Dan said, rolling his eyes. âAs annoying as you can be, you are good company.â
Sometimes it still amused Phil to think of how they went from hating each other to dating in less than a year. After Phil cut down on work and spent more time at home, they bonded over their love for Alex. They took a long time to realise Alex was not what kept them coming back to each other, but they got there eventually.
âIf I ever need to leave for so long again, Iâm taking you both with me. I canât stay without my boys for so long.â
Dan didnât disagree. He pulled Phil in for another kiss that took his breath away before breaking it off to whisper in his ear, âI love you.â
âI love you too.â
A/N:Â What do you think?
Little health update for whoever cares: I went to the doctor today and he gave me antibiotics so my brain felt a little less mushy and I was able to write this. However, I had to miss my theory driving test which was not cool.
(11 days to go till the end of the 25 Days of Christmas!)
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