#but also i may have just lost my job and i wont even know for sure until like tomorrow

[savethepinecones]

hm

[fxstpace]

the subtle art of swinging (park sunghoon)

summary: park sunghoon is the spider-man. he's also your best friend. he's also hopelessly in love with you. between fighting crime and intercepting alien invasions, park sunghoon barely has the time to confess his feelings to you. lucky for him, you've got him covered.

or, five times park sunghoon tries to ask you out, and one time you ask him out instead.

pairing: spider-man!park sunghoon x fem!reader genres: fluff, mild angst, best friends to lovers!au, spider-man!au, college!au, attempts at comedy, idiots to idiots in love, 5 + 1 things word count: 5.0k

⇢ warnings: profanity, mentions of violence but absolutely nothing graphic ⇢ a/n: reposted from my old blog.

ONE — THE SUBTLE ART OF SWINGING INTO A WALL

Park Sunghoon swears he isn’t trying to be stupid. 

It’s just that when he sees you, his mouth dries up, the words he want to say get stuck on the tip of his tongue and he can’t force them out no matter what, he feels his brain turn to mush and his legs turn to jelly, and—

You’re laughing. At him.

All because he swung face-first into a goddamn brick wall.

You don’t even know it’s him—he has a mask made out of spandex covering his face, thankfully—but he saw you on the street, talking to the old lady who sells churros next to the sandwich place both of you love. He may have lost all directional sense after that, because one minute he’s watching you gesture animatedly while you converse with the shopkeeper, and the next he slams solidly into the brick-red compound of the building he was supposed to swing over.

At least his webbing is still intact.

Sunghoon’s pride, on the other hand? Completely, utterly shattered.

For a minute, there’s silence—a sort of muffled, hazy silence that blankets everyone, the kind that’s impossibly rare to come by in a city which never sleeps—and then every single person whips out their phones and takes pictures, giggling to themselves throughout. It’s not every day Spider-Man accidentally swings into a wall, after all.

Sunghoon can already picture the headlines: City’s Masked Superhero Can Fight Aliens But Is Apparently Blind When Confronted By A Gigantic Barricade. Or worse. He can hear J. Jonah Jameson’s voice in his head, bellowing into the cameras, “Breaking news everyone, this just in: Spidey has been caught lackin’! Is he truly good at his job or is he just a farce? We may never know.”

He peels his head off hard brick, contorting his neck to relieve all the cricks, and that’s when he makes direct eye contact with you.

He swears his heart stops beating—but it starts again in less than a second, starts rabbiting around like it always does when he sees you, before settling back down into its regular rhythm. It’s only then that he remembers his feet and fingers are still glued to the wall.

He pries them off, wincing at the hoots and hollers from the crowd, and glances at you again. 

You have a few churros in your hand, wrapped neatly in butter paper—no doubt a gift from the old lady—and you have your phone in your hand. He watches your fingers fly rapidly over the screen, notices the slight tilt to your head, the way your tongue pokes out of your lips slightly, the amusement at his mishap still running through your veins.

He hears the ping of the notification through his mask before you even put your phone down. 

The letters swim in front of his eyes, on the screen in front of him.

(11:36) Y/N: HOONIE!!!! u wont BELIEVE what i just saw!!!! I SAW SPIDERMAN CRASH INTO A WALL LMFAOOOO

Sunghoon winces. He should probably tell you that there’s a hyphen separating the words ‘spider’ and ‘man’, but he doesn’t want to burst your obvious elation at the city’s most prominent superhero’s accident. (Despite the fact that you’re the cause for him losing all 

common sense, in the first place.)

He doesn’t get the chance to form another coherent thought before a yell from below gets his attention. Specifically because it’s your voice.

“Hey!” You have your hands placed on your waist, your bundle of churros tucked into the corner of your arm as you squint up at him. “Need some help getting down?”

Unlike the jeers of the onlookers with their phones still out, you don’t sound malicious at all. You sound genuinely concerned, as though he isn’t Spider-Man, who’s fought off a hundred different villains and rescued the earth from alien infestations. You talk to him like he’s just a regular guy who accidentally swung onto a building and now finds himself in this precarious position.

His chest warms at the thought. “No thanks!” he hollers back. “I’m good.”

He lets his feet loosen up, feels his muscles relax and then he pushes himself off the wall, letting the momentum pull him through a graceful somersault before he lands softly in front of you.

“Are you okay?” You ignore the passersby.

“I’m fine,” Sunghoon replies. “Are you okay?”

You look at him strangely, and Sunghoon can feel his cheeks heat up. “I’m not the one who almost broke my nose because I wasn’t looking at where I was going.”

Sunghoon shifts from one foot to the other, chewing on the inside of his cheek. You have a point, he supposes. He clears his throat. “Right, um. Thanks for offering to help me out.”

“No problem,” you reply easily, the corners of your lips rising upwards. “I’m glad you’re okay. Can’t have our city’s best line of defence get obliterated because of a wall.”

Sunghoon’s not sure whether he’s supposed to feel happy about the fact that you’re worried about him despite not knowing who he is or if he’s supposed to be embarrassed at you pointing out his lapse of attention.

“Listen,” he begins, feeling a rush of adrenaline surge through his veins, run its course throughout his body, and settle at his heart, “do you… maybe want to get some coffee with me? As a thank you. For offering to help.”

You raise an eyebrow sceptically. “I’m not sure that warrants a coffee date.”

“It’s not,” Sunghoon hurriedly says, heart thumping erratically, “I swear. I just want to thank you.”

You purse your lips, drawing out a sigh that’s in between contemplation and refusal. Sunghoon’s heart sinks—he knows that expression of yours all too well. “I’m sorry, Spider-Man. You’re a great superhero and I’m sure you’re a really nice person behind the mask, but… I’m actually running late for a meet-up with my best friend. I’m sorry.” You shrug apologetically. “Maybe next time.”

“Okay, uh—” Sunghoon licks his lips— “n-no worries. I’ll see you around.”

“Break a leg, Spider-Man.” You salute him with two fingers. “Not literally, but you know what I mean.”

He manages a smile, then realises you can’t see it through his mask—and then realises that the friend who’s meet-up you’re running late to is with him, so he’s going to see you again, anyway. The thought makes him smile again, this time wider, and he can feel his cheeks crinkle at the corners.

He stretches an arm out, presses his web shooter and swings onto the top of the building. Maybe he’ll have to deal with you retelling the story of how he crashed into a wall with extreme detail and lots of exaggeration, and Sunghoon should probably feel extremely embarrassed about it. Instead, he finds himself looking forward to it.

Maybe he should crash into walls more often.

TWO — THE SUBTLE ART OF ACCIDENTALLY ASKING YOUR PROFESSOR OUT

Park Sunghoon is decidedly fucked.

He’s late—unbearably so—but what else is he supposed to do if a platoon of aliens show up in the middle of his Introduction to Organic Chemistry class and he has to stop them from blowing up the president’s summer retreat? Once the situation is wrapped up and the foreign visitors agree to sign a peace treaty with earth, he’s effectively missed three classes, skipped lunch, and is currently running late to a study session you planned out after classes.

He supposes he can make up for it—he’s not sure how, but… something is better than nothing, right? He swings down in front of a flower shop, hurriedly asks for a bouquet and a box of chocolates, places a wad of money bills on the counter and swings away. The whole interaction takes place in less than fifteen minutes, but Sunghoon is in a hurry. He has a slew of texts from you, all detailing the same thing: That if he doesn’t magically appear in the next ten minutes, you’re leaving, and you better make it up to him somehow.

Sunghoon touches down on the rooftop of your university’s library and quickly removes his Spider-Man suit, stuffing it into his backpack and shouldering it. He heads down the fire escape, taking two steps at a time, and comes to a standstill in front of the Biology section of the library. It’s the least crowded part of the library, which is why you and Sunghoon have chosen it as your designated spot.

He sees you immediately and braces himself for the telltale quickening of his heart. You smile at him as soon as you spot him, raising a hand in greeting. Books and sheets of paper are scattered around the table in front of you, and your hair is messy, swept up hastily. You’re wearing your favourite sweater with the coffee stain down the front, because even though it’s not something you would wear in public, it’s still the most comfortable piece of clothing you own.

Sunghoon’s lips curl upwards on their own accord. The words form on the tip of his tongue, as they always do. He wants to tell you—he’s been in love with you since he first laid eyes on you—and it would be so easy to confess right then and there. He walks towards you.

Fate is never kind to him, it seems.

Sunghoon keeps his eyes fixed on you, which is why he doesn’t notice his Organic Chemistry professor walk right across him.

In his defence, Professor Kwon is short, with a head full of bountiful grey curls and a pink flower-patterned umbrella always tucked underneath her arm. She barely comes up to Sunghoon’s shoulders, so she’s never in Sunghoon’s line of vision unless he’s sitting down.

It’s no wonder he collides into her. 

Professor Kwon lets out a startled “Ooh!”, the stack of papers in her hand flying out of grip and falling around him and his teacher like snowflakes on a winter morning. She twists her lips at him, mouth downturned like she just sucked a lemon raw, and tuts disapprovingly at him.

Sunghoon feels his cheeks blaze as he bends down and gathers all the loose sheets of paper and stacks them. He doesn’t need to look at you to know you’re gleefully watching the whole encounter. He tucks the bouquet and chocolates into the crook of his arm and hands the stack of papers to Professor Kwon, mumbling an apology.

“Well, you better be sorry,” she says, looking up and down at him—except she has to crane her neck at him to meet his eyes, and the sight is so hilarious, Sunghoon needs to stifle his laughter. Then her eyes narrow in recognition, and Sunghoon stiffens, dread pooling in his stomach. 

She pauses for a minute. “Aren’t you the young man who ran out halfway through my class? Is your stomach feeling better now?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see you snort and then cover it up as a cough. 

Sunghoon wants to melt into the floor, pretend like he’s one of the tiles on the ground. “Yes ma’am,” he answers politely instead, hoping his voice doesn’t betray him.

“Hmm.” She scrutinises him carefully, reaching out with her free hand and pinching his stomach. “Indigestion is a serious issue, young man. Make sure you have enough ginger in your diet—it helps with your toilet problems.”

“I will, ma’am.”

“Now, how do you plan to make up for your lost lesson?” 

Sunghoon licks his lips. “I’m… not sure, ma’am. I could come over for a remedial class—”

“Oh, please. You insult me.” Professor Kwon lets out a giggle. “Remedial classes are such mediaeval methods. These days teachers will let anything go for a small price. Young, handsome men like you especially…”

Sunghoon nearly chokes on his own spit. “I—”

“Just some flowers and chocolates will be fine,” his teacher waves him off good-naturedly, as though this is a conversation she has all the time. Her eyes land pointedly on the flowers and the chocolate box still tucked safely in his arms. 

“Oh. Um.” Sunghoon curses his luck. He’s Spider-Man, after all—shouldn’t he get some slack? All he wants is to ask you out, and if not that, at least spend some time with you without getting caught up in outworldly situations all the time. 

Professor Kwon’s expression turns serious upon noticing his hesitation. “Of course, not every teacher is as lenient as I’m being. Some would—and I’m really just throwing it out here—assign compensatory essays, or—”

He hurriedly shoves the bouquet and the chocolates into Professor Kwon’s waiting arms. 

“No, ma’am. Thank you very much for being so kind to me.”

“Not a bother, not a bother,” she waves him off again, smiling thinly at him. “Anything for my students.”

Sunghoon bows and waits patiently for her to skitter away from him, finally letting out a loose breath that has his shoulders slumping forward and his head hanging dejectedly. He drags himself to your table, places his bag on the desk, and buries his head into his arms in such a way that half his upper body is spread-eagled across the wooden desk. A tired, muffled groan escapes his lips.

“Rough day?” Your voice is soft, and you tentatively reach out and gently run a hand through his hair.

Sunghoon lets out another groan in response, closing his eyes when he feels your touch. He lifts up his head and props his chin on the desk, glancing at you. You have a soft smile playing on your lips, eyes twinkling.

“You recorded all of that, didn’t you?” It’s more a statement than a question; Sunghoon has all your tendencies mapped out in his head, and you would never pass up on an opportunity to record his humiliation.

“Yup.” You grin at him, patting your pocket where your phone is stowed away. “I won’t show it to anyone, don’t worry.”

It’s a small consolation. He decides to let it slide. “By the way, the flowers and the chocolates were for you. To apologise for being late.”

“Oh.” To Sunghoon’s surprise, you sound… bashful, almost. His heart skitters at the revelation. “That’s alright. I’m not a big fan of flowers anyway. Are you hungry? You skipped lunch, too, didn’t you? We could go get some ramen.”

“That sounds good.” Sunghoon smiles wearily at you. He just hopes there isn’t another national emergency to divert his attention from you and the time he gets to spend with you.

THREE — THE SUBTLE ART OF ALMOST DATING YOUR HOMIE

Sunghoon’s not sure his roommate, Lee Heeseung, is completely normal.

He’s the only one who knows about Sunghoon’s secret identity, and Sunghoon relies on him to make up some believable reason for his often and sudden disappearances. The last time, when he had to escape in the middle of his Organic Chemistry class and that whole debacle with Professor Kwon took place, Heeseung had said Sunghoon had indigestion. He assumes his roommate has fun coming up with excuses. As long as his secret remains safe, Sunghoon’s not too concerned.

Despite all the help Heeseung has provided him with, he wants nothing more than to toss him over their shared apartment’s balcony.

For the past half an hour, he’s been consistently badgering him. Specifically about you.

“Have you told her you like her yet?”

The question drags a tired sigh out of Sunghoon’s lips. He’s hunched over his Physics textbook, scribbling down notes, and he could really appreciate some peace—but that’s not something he should expect when he lives with the human equivalent of a hamster on a wheel.

“No, Heeseung,” he reiterates, “I haven’t had the time.”

Heeseung flops dramatically across the couch. “Dude. You need serious help.”

“Do I?” Sunghoon murmurs absent-mindedly, wondering how to calculate the coefficient of friction with the variables he’s been given.

“Yes.” When he notices his roommate not paying attention to him, Heeseung rolls his eyes. “Stop doing homework, you have more important matters to attend to.”

Sunghoon finally tears his tired gaze away from the numericals printed out on the page. He locks eyes with Heeseung, barely aware of the tic in his left eye. “Like what?”

His roommate throws his hands up in the air exasperatedly. “Like Y/N! And the fact that you’re in love with her!”

“Okay.”

“This isn’t going to work. C’mere.” He gestures to Sunghoon to come sit next to him on the couch. Once he makes his way to the couch and sits next to him, Heeseung takes both his hands in his. “Consider this an intervention.”

Sunghoon leans back and lets his head fall against the couch cushions. This is going to be good.

“Okay, so,” Heeseung begins, “she doesn’t know you’re Spider-Man—no one knows that except me—but you love her, don’t you? Just walk up to her, tell her you can show her something she’s never seen before, swing her up to a rooftop somewhere, and watch the sunset with her. Tell her you love her and that you can’t live without her, and your heart beats only for her—trust me, girls love romantic stuff like that—and then tell her you’re also Spider-Man. Easy.”

All Sunghoon can do is laugh. There’s no way Heeseung is serious about this.

“I’m being serious,” Heeseung says. “How long are you going to keep hiding this from her? Y/N’s your best friend, don’t you think you should tell her that you’re basically in mortal peril every other day?”

“That’s exactly why I’m not telling her,” Sunghoon says. “What if some villain finds out she’s special to me and does something to her to get back at me?”

His friend looks dubious. “You really think that could happen?”

“Yes.” Sunghoon turns his head to look at Heeseung. “That’s why I didn’t want to tell you either.”

Heeseung chews his lip thoughtfully. “I kind of see what you mean. But…” He squeezes Sunghoon’s hand once, gently. “It’s Y/N. I think she would want to know.”

Sunghoon considers it—for a brief half-minute, he actually thinks about it—and then shakes his head. “It’s better to keep her safe.”

You have the worst possible timing. (Perhaps it’s Sunghoon’s fault for having given you a spare key to his apartment.)

The door swings open and you walk into the living room, two bags of takeaway in your hand. “Guess who’s got food!”

Then you pause, survey the situation in front of you, and your jaw drops.

Sunghoon and Heeseung, both on the couch, sitting so close to each other, their knees are brushing. Sunghoon’s hands are still being held by Heeseung, the latter rubbing circles on his palm. Belatedly, Sunghoon realises what this must look like to you.

He shoots up to his feet. “Y/N, it’s not what you think—”

“Oh my God.” You raise your arms. “Am I interrupting something? I’m so sorry, I had no idea! I’ll just—”

“No, wait! Heeseung and I, we’re not—”

“No, no, it’s okay!” Your repeated reassurances don’t do anything to assure him. “You guys look good together! Congratulations on graduating from cherry boy university, Hoon!”

Sunghoon lowers his head, crimson creeping up his cheeks. He turns around and faces Heeseung, who’s busy snickering on the couch. “This is all your fault.”

You look between them curiously. “Are you both dating?”

“No,” Sunghoon says at the same time Heeseung says, “Possibly.”

He glares at his friend. “No, Y/N, we are not together. Heeseung knows I like someone else.”

“You like someone else?”

There’s the barest hint of hurt in your tone, a slight hitch in your voice that Sunghoon picks up on easily. “I—yes.”

“You never told me.” 

Your voice is carefully calm and you fiddle with the handle of the takeaway bags. Sunghoon winces; he takes a step forward and grabs your elbow, gently forcing you to look up at him. “I was going to tell you. I just… forgot.”

It's the worst possible excuse he could come up with. Your eyes harden. Thankfully, Heeseung swoops in. “He’ll tell you soon, Y/N. He just never has good timing.”

You poke your tongue in the inside of your cheek. “It… doesn’t matter. I brought Chinese,” you say, lips pursed into a threadbare smile, “so all that’s left is to pick the movie.”

You move into the living room and playfully poke Heeseung’s legs to make space. Sunghoon closes the door behind you, a heavy feeling in his gut.

He’s fucked up. Big time. No matter what, he can’t get the look of dejectedness on your face out of his mind.

Sunghoon decides he’s going to tell you. Somehow. Even if you don’t return his feelings, at least he’ll be free of the burden of keeping them hidden. 

With new conviction in his head, he strides over to where you are.

FOUR — THE SUBTLE ART OF GETTING HIT ON

Sunghoon loves you—he really does—but despite his obvious affection towards you, he still thinks you’re acting slightly (read: extremely) delusional.

“A… Spider-Man love blog?” he asks weakly, sitting opposite you.

“Yeah!” You nod your head vigorously, obviously excited. “J. Jonah Jameson started a Spider-Man conspiracy theory blog, so I figured I need to start a blog to support Spider-Man and all his endeavours. Too much hate is a bad thing, and… well, he is kind of hot. Objectively speaking.”

Sunghoon doesn’t know whether to grimace at the fact that J. Jonah Jameson started a page on conspiracy theories about him, laugh at the fact that you want to start a blog to support him, or melt like an ice cream on a hot summer afternoon at the fact that you just called him objectively hot.

He tries to do a mixture of all three. You glance at him, concerned. “Did you just have a stroke or something?”

Sunghoon purses his lips together, going back to his usual deadpan expression. “I’m fine.”

“Okay,” you say dismissively. “Well, what do you think of the blog idea?”

“I think it’s a good idea,” Sunghoon agrees. “It’s like a little Spider-Man support group. Except you aren’t suffering from addiction.”

“Exactly!” you agree, perking up even more. “That’s actually a really cool slogan, thanks Hoon.”

“No problem.” Sunghoon feels his mouth dry, but before he can second guess himself, he says, “Hey, you said Spider-Man is hot?”

“Hm? Yeah, what about it?”

“You know who else is hot?”

“Tom Holland?” Your eyes widen excitedly. “Oh, I know! Andrew Garfield!”

“No—I mean, yes but—” Sunghoon heaves out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I wasn’t talking about them.”

You cock your head to the side. “Who do you mean, then?”

He takes in a deep breath, forcing his heart to calm down. “I was talking about—”

He’s about to say you when the fire alarm rings. You stand up, eyes widening—not with excitement, but with panic flaring up inside you. Sunghoon stands up too; how did he not notice something was off? The hair at the back of his neck tingles. He needs to get you out of here—now.

“Y/N,” he says hurriedly, “you need to leave. Go out the fire escape.” He shoves you none too gently towards the fire escape, but you stumble forward and then stop.

“Hoon,” you say, and he can hear the mounting fear in your voice, “what about you?”

“I’ll be right behind you,” he assures. A series of bangs follows his statement, and he narrows his eyes at the direction of the sound. “But you need to leave. Now.”

You open your mouth to say something, but when you hear a loud clang echo down the stairwell, you close your mouth and run towards the staircase. Sunghoon waits for you to disappear from his sight, before turning on his heel and grabbing his suit from his bag.

God, supervillains really have the worst timing. All Sunghoon wanted to do was tell you he thought you were hot, too, but that he found you more beautiful than anything else.

FIVE — THE SUBTLE ART OF EXPOSING YOUR CRUSH

Sunghoon is so, so tired.

He lands in front of a small, quiet lake in a park you used to come to with him. The ambience is perfect for when you want to spend time alone, in solitude. A family of ducks paddles gently over the water; it’s peaceful and serene—completely unlike the destruction he just had to deal with, and the  turbulence currently running through his mind.

He pulls his mask off his head and runs a tired hand through his hair. Wearily, he sinks down onto the grass, feeling the cool breeze caress his skin and the rustle of the leaves of the giant tree under whose shade he’s sitting.

He blinks once, slowly, and then again, and when a duck lets out a quack, he opens his mouth and lets everything spill out, like sand pouring through an overturned hourglass.

(He’s aware he’s talking to ducks. He doesn’t care.)

“Screw this shit. I never wanted to be a hero, you hear me? I never wanted to be bitten by a stupid spider, I didn’t ask for all this—I didn’t ask for all this! God, what does a guy need to do to have some time to tell his best friend he’s in love with her?!”

His rant falls on silent ears—but then, he hears the crunch of dried leaves, and he whips around.

Your head pokes out from behind the tree trunk. “Hoon?”

“Y/N,” he breathes out, scrambling to his feet. “What are you—”

“You said you’d be right behind me!” Despite the false bravado in your voice, he can hear how wobbly you actually sound.

“I-I was. Technically.” He takes a tentative step towards you, one arm stretched out placatingly.

“You never told me you were Spider-Man!” Your voice increases in pitch steadily with each word.

“I didn’t tell you to protect you—”

“Oh my God, you were in mortal peril every day and I didn’t even know!”

“Heeseung said the same thing, but—”

“Heeseung knew all along, of course he did!”

“I only told him because—”

“And—and now you’re telling me you’re in love with me!”

“Okay, I wasn’t telling you, I was telling the ducks, but—”

“Sunghoon!” You throw your hands up in the air wildly, gaze roaming rapidly across his face. “You’re in love with me!”

He sucks in a breath sharply. “I feel like that’s not the most important thing here.”

Of all the ways he thought he would confess to you, this is decidedly not something that crossed his mind even once. He’d always pictured flowers, holding your hand, maybe even a romantic stroll down this very park. He’d certainly never imagined you’d find out about both his secrets on the same day—all while he was busy ranting about his hero complex to a bunch of birds who didn’t pay him any attention.

“Y/N,” he tries again, “please let me explain.”

You shake your head. “No. There’s nothing there to explain.”

With that, you turn away and walk past him. Sunghoon’s heart sinks. He crumples the material of the mask in his hand, feeling the cloth twist underneath his fingertips just like his heart twists into knots with every step you take away from him.

PLUS ONE — THE SUBTLE ART OF KISSING YOUR BEST FRIEND

You have Sunghoon cornered, your arms crossed across your chest and your expression stern. “You need to listen to me.”

Sunghoon gulps. It’s been a week since he accidentally let both his secrets slip, and this is the first time he’s talking to you in person since then. You’d sent him a text with a simple message. Library, first thing after lunch. Sunghoon had complied, and here he is now.

“So. Heeseung explained everything to me,” you say. 

“He—he did?”

You glance at him shortly. “Yeah, he did. I… I understand why you didn’t tell me about—about your condition, Hoon. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to explain yourself.”

“It’s okay,” he replies immediately. “If I found out my best friend was a secret vigilante risking his life every day, I think I’d react the same way.”

You smile at him then, and his heart jumps inside his chest. He smiles back. “But that’s not the main reason I called you here,” you continue. “What I really called you here for was…”

You trail off, looking down, and Sunghoon is hit with a sudden sense of nostalgia. Why are you being so bashful around him all of a sudden? “Was…” he gently prompts.

You swallow, lifting up your chin and looking him in the eye. “I wanted to tell you that I’m in love with you too.”

Park Sunghoon swears time stops, and the whole world comes to a standstill. The words ring in his ears, echoing inside his head. His lips part, and he stares at you, flabbergasted.

“I—Say that again.” His voice is barely more than a whisper.

He sees the flicker in your eyes, notices how you’re ready to compete with him for this. “I love you, Park Sunghoon. I don’t care about the fact that you’re Spider-Man.”

Sunghoon takes a step towards you, holding your shoulders gently, like you’re made of glass. “I love you too.”

You grin at him, your own arms encircling his waist and coming to rest on his back. “I know that.”

And then you tip your head forward and capture his lips with your own. He gasps at first, before kissing you back with equal force, one hand tugging you closer to him and the other curving around your torso.

You giggle into the kiss, and Sunghoon’s lips twitch upwards. He’s giddy, weightless, floating through the air like a feather being carried by the wind. The feeling he gets when he’s swooping through the rooftops of the city is nothing compared to the feeling of your lips slotted against his and his arms wrapped around you.

Park Sunghoon swears he doesn’t try to act stupid normally. But if it makes you smile, he’s willing to do anything.

[aetherprism]

yknow what? fuck you listen to my hlvrai headcanons /ref

only tommy and benrey for now, but if you want to hear more than please do ask !

lets start with tommy (and subsequently g-man):

tommy, as we know, is the adoptive son of g-man ! but in hl2vrai’s trailer he seems to be taking his fathers role; i like to think the reason g-man adopts tommy is because he was the first person in a long time that’s like him. theyre not related by any means, no, but tommy is like him. not human, powerful. i don’t think g-man expected to get so attached to tommy, probably picking him up to train him, but he quickly realized he liked the titles of father and son, and what came with it.

tommy actually had a troubled childhood until g-man, he was unceremoniously dropped on earth and had to learn how to be human on his own. he learned pretty quickly that hiding his alien instincts was his best bet, and in the orphanage tried his best to be the most normal human kid there was.

and then tommy’s suddenly adopted by this mysterious man in a suit, and he starts to think he’s been found out by the government or worse. especially when his new adoptive parent, sitting him down in a dunkin’ donuts, tells him without any tact, “i know what you are.” suffice to say it scared the shit out of him.

moving forward though; tommy quickly learns to love his new dad ! he’s just like him, theres someone who understands tommy, and his dad teaches him how to use and not shy away from his instincts too ! his dad supports his endeavors into the sciences too, and even helps him get his job at black mesa. he really won the adoptive parent lottery :]

also extra thing; sweet voice is entirely engineered by black mesa. anyone can be given sweet voice, it was one of tommy’s first inventions !

but that’s tommy, now it’s time for benrey.

benrey wasn’t as lucky as tommy. as stated by himself; he’s not human. and he doesn’t really hide it. he’s never had to. from an early age all he’s known was experiment after experiment, prodding needles, white walls, and loud fluorescent lights that hurt his eyes.

now usually people headcanon that benrey’s from xen, but i’d like to take it a step further because i like to different i guess; anyways, benrey is not a xen alien— he’s alien x, a mysterious alien race from half-life opposing force ! he’s a mystery to the entirety of black mesa, and to himself because of that. so he settles on just saying: ‘im not human’ when people ask.

while kinda pushy in hlvrai, before that he was actually shockingly complacent. he didn’t struggle, didn’t make so much of a fuss, because he thought his treatment was normal. even though he didn’t like it, he grit his teeth and bared it anyways.

because of his complacent nature he was given a job, guard black mesa and he’d be allowed to roam around black mesa all he wants ! this is how he becomes a security guard, he also gets his own room topside like the rest of his co workers, and slowly but surely makes some friends in the circle of security guards.

one of his first friends is actually barney, yes barney calhoun. he was like a tutor to him, and at the time benrey didn’t have his own name; so he named himself after his first favorite human :] ! barney’s also the first person to tell him his treatment by black mesa wasn’t normal, or fair to him. it takes him a while to accept that. (i may take this one back if benrey ends up taking barney’s place in hl2vrai somehow)

with his job to protect black mesa he actually takes it very seriously, even more when he finds he’s just an experiment to the higher ups, fearing that if he acts slightly out of line they’ll take his already limited freedom away from him. until the invasion that is. black mesa has lost their hold on him, and by god he wont hold back anymore.

[love-killed-the-superstar]

The Last Ronin 2: Re-Evolution Issue #1 LIVEBLOG

SPOILERS ABOUND. I'M NOT GOING TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS IT'LL PROBABLY GET SUPER LONG

Okay so Casey Marie's muscles are something I'm never going to get over. SHE LOOKS GOOD!!!!! Her getup is feeling a little too reminiscent of a cape-wielding superhero for my tastes to be honest - I really loved the more practical outfits she wore in TLR Lost Years, especially in issue 4 when she was running the training mission for the kids. But ah well, I'm sure this will grow on me. It may not be practical (edna's law of no capes is coming to mind, also PLEASE TIE YOUR HAIR UP WHEN YOU'RE FIGHTING GIRL!!!) but it's very cunty anyway which I appreciate

Straight up thought she killed this guy - what was that sound effect if he's still able to walk??? I fr thought she snapped his neck

IDK if we needed a whole 8 pages of punching and kicking to exposition dump what we kinda already knew from what's been shown in the lost years (esp the lost day special) but IT'S FINE IG... NOW ONTO THE BABIES

SORRY, SORRY. TEENAGERS NOW.

GIGGLING KICKING MY FEET. We're ALREADY getting the leo-v-raph adjacent dynamic with these two and I'm living for it. if one of them drops a stone cold 'fearless leader' jab i will lose my shit

HI? HELLO, EXCUSE ME, MIND-TALKING? PICTURES IN HEAD? ARE WE A FAMILY THAT LUCID DREAMS OR SOMETHING?!?? I DON'T REMEMBER THIS BEING SOMETHING THEY COULD DO?? every new speech bubble here is like a punch to the gut, wdym telepathy wdym secret lair wdym honouring everything master splinter taught you???? (although i'm proud that when this panel dropped on news sites i was immediately like THAT ISN'T THE KITCHEN FROM LOST YEARS. turns out it was a Secret Lair TM)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Seance -- TURTLES COUNT IT OFF!!

not gonna screenshot the whole backstory but they're basically doing a telepathic puppet show explaining the backstory and it's pretty much the mirage origins with a bit of extra tlr flair. as always it HURTS ME seeing the turtles dying so thanks for that tlr2 :'')) icb these kids watch a mind movie of their uncles dying every fucking night. yall are messy

SOBBING AND CRYING,, I WISH YOU'D ALL HAD THE CHANCE TO KNOW HIM TOO!!!!!! I WISH YOU'D GOTTEN TO KNOW ALL OF THEM!!!!! (tlr splinter doesnt count tho because hes a dick)

there was a cool sequence of them rooftop hopping n stuff but i wont cover it bc we already saw it in a bunch of news articles weeks ago

i just did the SHARPEST INHALE. casey marie you and your beautiful muscular arms have aged like the finest wine

YI NO!!!!!

lmaooo moja is JUDGING your taste in women u two

lots of text... blah blah blah jobs, crimerates, blah blah... jiro in pig uniform jumpscare.. casey marie i thought u were going to fix him :(((

YESSSSS KIDS ARE GOING ON A MISSION WITH THEIR MOM, LETS FUCKING GOOOOO

MY BABIES ARE KICKING ASS!!!!!

....,.HUH

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY BABY BOY ODIE!!!!!!!!!!! WHO DID THIS TO HIM!!!!!!???? WHAT??!???? HUH/1?!!? EXCUSE ME????

I'M . LIKE WHAT DO I EVEN SAY TO THIS. IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE??? WHAT IS GOING ON!!!

FINAL THOUGHTS:

dude that first issue was wordy but the kids were ON POINT. they were so fun!! their dialogue is fun and they kick ass.

i loved yi announcing the punishment for casey while the others were like NOO SHE DIDNT MEAN THAT DONT LISTEN TO HER. we're getting more of their personalities and it's great!! it was a nice throwback to issue 2 of lost years when they were cleaning - yi refused to help because of how strictly she was following instructions. im picking up that she might be neurodivergent but i did get that from the lost years too - only doing things within strict instructions, getting frustrated at teaching odyn chess, not because of him playing horseys with the knights but that it was Against The Rules Of Chess - and now not picking up on some social cues. It's nice to see!! I love her very much, but it feels like besides rehashing the origin story she took a bit of a backseat to the other three.

i want to know more about why uno said being a rebel was moja's 'thing', since she didn't seem to be any more rebellious than the other three in this issue. we didn't get any unique interactions between her and casey marie which is what i felt was lacking from lost years but i wonder if this is hinting towards a more turbulent mother-daughter dynamic with them... I REALLY HOPE SO!! her and uno butting heads in a leo-raph way is very fun - i don't mind one or two prior group dynamics leaking into the new turtle siblings because they're all so different from the original 4.

uno seems to be taking on slightly more of a leader role than moja so i think he won the title of fearless leader. which is fine, i think it'll be fun to see and he's definitely less of an asshole now than when he was growing up in lost years. still picking on odyn a bit but seems to snipe at moja just as much. even when he was commenting on yi's storytelling he didn't make fun of her, though - i think she may have inherited the 2k3 don ability of being Completely Unbullyable.

i was really pleased that odyn felt more involved!! i feel like he took the backseat a few times in lost years - it was fun seeing more of his personality shine through! he and yi seem to get on the best, and i giggled at them rolling their eyes at moja and uno's raph-leo schtick. i didn't expect him to TURN TO FUCKING STONE THOUGH, so i'm nervous about that. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? WHO DID THIS TO MY BOY? IS HE GOING TO TURN BACK NEXT CHAPTER OR IS HE OUT OF COMMISSION UNTIL THE END OF THE RUN??? (if it's the latter i'll be a bit annoyed - don't take odyn away from the equation please!!)

I do wonder if by introducing casually that they can PSYCHICALLY CONNECT, the turtles will use that as a technique to reach odyn's mind to make sure he's still in there and piece together what's happened to him. i mean, their casual telepathy has gotta be some sort of chekhov's gun right?

and shit.... april was so fucking mad casey took the babies out so she's going to EXPLODE when she finds out what happened to her baby boy, her beloved favourite, her baby odyn :''(( im giggling rubbing my hands together waiting for the fallout but also if she cries i might cry too. speaking of april, she seems to be working on a new project and i saw nano particles mentioned - are we going to have a roninverse version of nano in this run???? I NEED MY ROBOT SON

as always, casey marie... u have aged like fine wine. u are stunning. disappointed that ur still believing that jiro can do good as a cop when their entire police force and government is corrupt as fuck. just feels very naive of her. i'm excited to see her break down at the concept of losing odyn - in fact i need everyone to mourn this beautiful kid. they tell us so much that shes a super clingy helicopter mom and i am picking up on the strict part, but it would be nice to see more of her just... hugging her kids. holding them. i get why she didnt in this issue but id love more mama casey squishing their cheeks and kissing their foreheads.

i have zero fucking clue what's going on with odyn. im wondering if it's somehow related to nano, or to whatever project April is working on - she says it's to do with clearing the tunnels, but I''m not convinced. who knows, there might be some ulterior motive happening.

Anyway, that's the end of my liveblog!! thanks for reading all the way to the end... go read it wherever you read ur comics!!!

[dayz-ina-daze]

hey op your post about aita phone bill. i apologise if this is forward, please understand i am reaching out out of concern and not to upset you or be disrespectful at all. 🙏

your descriptions about your parents worry me as it sounds like they are engaging in abusive behaviour. i have chronic migraine and my parent did the same actions as your parent (dependent on them, feeling 'in debt' to parent for all the help they gave me ("i pay for all this, and i'm sick too"), guilted for spending maybe $30 on myself, etc) and it was only as i got older (23, 24) that i realised there was abuse.

but i also acknowledge our illnesses are different and that you are in a situation where you cannot yet be on your own and so have to 'make do'. please continue talking with your therapist because they may help come up with strategies to deal with some of the abuse-like behaviour that seems to be happening. once you have your chair, i strongly suggest you continue saving in case of emergency (in case you have to rush to move out or similar), i really hope things improve for you.

there are 'work from home' jobs online that you can do from a laptop/computer such as data entry or transcripting where you wont need to stand. if you havent already, i also suggest reaching out to others with pots who could provide help, tips, advice, and support and understanding of what you are going through. there are tumblr users with pots who trained their dog to alert them before an episode (so they dont faint/sit down before the episode), maybe there is a pots crowd fund to help you get your chair? is there somewhere we could donate to help you??

remember: do not let them guilt you into thinking you are broken or costing them 'their time, money, effort, life' etc... they are parents, they should be rising above that. it is not your fault illnesses cost money to treat, that disability is not often considered by others in the world - it is NOT your fault you are unwell 💖

I’m aware that I’m being abused… I’ve come to terms with it. It’s hard even accepting that, of course, because I love my parents, and most days they’re wonderful people… But I’ve had to learn that even if they’re good people, they aren’t good parents in the slightest, and I have to differentiate between the two. Perhaps even that isn’t true, but it’s just what I tell myself in the hopes that someday they’ll see all the damage they’ve done and feel remorse and regret.

Also as a byproduct of how I was raised, I physically can’t accept “handouts” — even if I know it’s for my own betterment. I want to work for what I earn, so I can never be accused of being lazy or a leech like my parents so often imply. My parents have a dog that’s already trained to be something of a diabetic alert dog, although unofficially, and he often alerts to me at times as well, though for different reasons related to my POTS (I’m hypoglycemic as well, plus fistfuls of other diagnoses). I’m still saving up, though what I have isn’t much. I have some support in place, and I’ve been trying to integrate myself into more POTS support systems (I lost almost an entire year of my life just to recovering from when it initially hit me, so I admit I’m a bit slow to the uptake), I’m reaching out to doctors and therapists and anyone who can help…

For now I just. Have to wait.

If you’re able to offer me even a penny, I’ve got KoFi and other money apps to that regard, and in return, I’m happy to provide sketches or full on art pieces of whatever you’d like!! Though I understand if some are hesitant to take those routes. My friends are coaxing me to the idea of starting a GoFundMe, but it feels like a “cheap” way out, and that I’m not able to pay back such kindness, so I’m hesitant. Like I said: I want to work for what I get, in any way I can.

And truly, thank you for this… It’s nice to hear I’m not crazy for thinking the way I’m treated is wrong. This didn’t upset me, but it surely made me cry just knowing that some strangers on the internet are so kind. Thank you, sincerely. <3

[saisons-en-enfer]

Personal mental health masterpost:

Hey, so I’m making this post to give some clarity into my situation for anyone that cares so there is a mutual understanding; especially because I tend to spiral in real-time on tumblr

Preface: I know this is my blog but I don’t want that to be a basis for my deflecting the responsibility of my own mental well being onto others and make people suffer because of it, especially because when I’m down I’m extremely avoidant, self-centred, and may be unintentionally callous (no I’m not just saying that lightly, I’ve been in so many situations on tumblr and IRL that I say something that is extremely insensitive but that wasn’t my intent leading to so many “sha you can’t say no one cares I’m talking to you/sitting here with you how can you say that”) and I need to also own up to that and admit that sometimes my feelings are false and my thought process is jagged

I’ve hurt someone that is really important to me on here multiple times over this and sadly but deservedly they will never be in my life again (though they will always be important to me). I don't want this to be an insincere "I'm sorry I was wrong, please forgive me" but rather to come clean and say that it has happened and I just want to make sure I take actions so that no one who cares about me on here will ever go through the same situation with me; I love the connections I have tumblr beyond words so it's time I act as such

The crux of my dilemma: as I'm sure you all know, I don't desire much to be alive for multiple reasons that I wont get into, and I cant really end my life because I am practically unable to inflict such harm onto other people just because I'm having a hard time. I have exhibited suicidal behaviours irl numerous times but each time I either went through it successfully with coping, asking for help (usually on tumblr), and if worse comes to worst asking to be hospitalized (which happened 6 months ago after I lost my job). It's complicated to talk about so feel free to send asks or DMs if you want to know more, I do exhibit suicidal behaviours on here (by talking or implying how much I don't want to be alive and saying that I'm in unbearable pain, both of which are true) but I seldom think I'm a danger to myself. I would say I have more suicidal ideations (henceforth SI) than behaviours.

I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 21, by 24 I was diagnosed with major depression (clinical) along with GAD, OCD (obsessive in negative thinking), later at 26 with ADHD, and, last year with a mood disorder (yet to be configured, consensus right now is that it is just very unstable mood)

The mood instability is important to highlight because I can pretty much show you days in which my posts go from cheery to mellow throughout the course of a single day.

Tumblr to me is a very personal and emotional scrapbook, when my mood crashes or i get triggered by something, and go on an SI spiral, first thing that happens is that i panic really hard especially because I get caught in the trap of "oh I have to live again tomorrow and experience all of this again and live my life with this mind" and when I'm in that trail of thought, shit goes south real fast and I start having physiological symptoms; I can't breathe properly, I get chills etc. so it's either I sit with those feelings by myself (because I'm not brave enough and trust many people IRL to seek help; something I'm working on) or, I release it onto here as posts. I know it's odd but in my mind having a breakdown in public (similar to my tumblr outbursts) is more helpful in that people either ignore you in which case you will have sense to know that there is none but yourself that can bring you up in which case you pull yourself together and move forward, or people do take notice and show kindness and support and help you fight your way through to see another day. Whatever the case, at least your not weeping alone so to speak. It sounds callous and even attention seeking but i don’t believe it’s inherently wrong, it’s a call for help.

The attention seeking part of it I concede my approach is terrible and I’m such an asshole for constantly firing from the hip with saying shit like “I don’t want to be alive, Im better off dead” and other things of the same ilk no matter how much I mean it and feel the depth of those words so closely. I will be better; when I’m emotional I’m not rational so I don’t do what I always do, step back and think am I approaching this person correctly. My cousin told me “if you’re having a hard time, than don’t say things like that to freak me out… say hey K I’m a bit sad today, I need a hug, I need some love, I need to get out of my head a little”

I'm taking mood stabilizers twice a day, whilst this has been deemed to be enough since I tend to have a strong outward facade and keep composed if my mood falters until I'm alone in my room and my interactions with people irl has been functional, I fear it's not enough and I may have to bring it up even though it means more meds (which btw coincidentally my mother just walked in my room reminding my of my next psychiatrist appointment soon). It's just very hard to bring up my tumblr behaviour up in therapy because as soon as I'm honest about my posting, they will just want to hospitalize me... it's not conceivable in most people's minds that yes I dont wish to be alive but I don't necessarily want to kill myself.

Which brings me to this part regarding my etiquette on tumblr:

All text posts pertaining to my mental health, should it imply SI I will tag as "SI posting"

I will NOT be tagging really sad songs as of now, but I can certainly do that if people would like me to

When I post something concerning you can choose to ignore me altogether if you'd like I will not hold it against anyone or be upset or fall prey to the line of thinking that "no one cares" because I know beyond a doubt that people actually DO care

If you do see such a post and want to help me genuinely, interacting with the post (like or comment or whatever) however small helps me so much and makes me feel so much less alone and gives me strength to push through

You can also start a conversation with me and talk about anything at all that also gets my mind off of things

I promise ill try my hardest to just ask for support instead of just posting extremely concerning text posts

EDIT: im also open and welcome any suggestions people may have on this matter and how I can be better

I keep my promises very seriously and just over a week ago I promised someone I really care about that I will try and be better and I very much intend to do that.

Thank you so much for patience and kindness and just not giving up on me when at times I've given you ample reasons to do so, I love you so much

Much love

[spiteless-xo]

Im so sorry this ramble is so long but here u go🙁

The absolute terror that came over me when i saw the email notification for the new chapter😭😭😭ok before i read im gonna put my final insights here,, ive literally been scrambling around my house procrastinating reading it bc im TERRIFIED and honestly im so sad its ending,, ive been reading since like february??? I think???Idk atp but i cannot express how much ive loved this story i wish it couldve just continued forever🥲🥲

Ok my predictions are that this will not be a one way path ik tiff is evil and likes to fuck w our feelings😞 i think smt twisted like reader picking eren but eren not picking reader could happen BC HE REALISED HIS SELF WORTH MAYBE😭😭but im not intricate enough to actually use that to decide but i honestly am at a loss i have no clue,, its an honest gamble but i do think eren is endgame??? Help i have no clue😭 but i do remember someone analysing the smells? Vanilla is more home and comfort so like a foundation? And citrus was for summer and things but i was thinking how summer is a temporary thing where people live out crazy activities for the sake of it but the whole thing abt it is that its temporary like we always have to go back HOME to our foundation aka vanilla aka eren????

Thing is ive been eren for endgame since DAYY ONEE i only almost switched up once during the arc with erens confession (idky😞) but other than that ive stayed loyal LMAO idk if im just being delusional tho convincing myself I think she'll end up with eren but

ALSO my other point right

I wanna take this back to tiff bc she IS the author😋 from what ive seen in her tumblr,, a lot of the reader owns resemblance to tiff?? She's mentioned a lot how the readers job is based off her irl experience in an office and some of the readers habits shes claimed to have herself i remember she was saying how people bashing the reader made her think like 'wait thats kind of me tho’ i remember it too vaguely to quote but ANYWAY off the basis that the reader is in some aspects (not all) a projection in some ways?? Its gonna influence,, we ALL know tiff is a strong jean girl😭 we love that and so u'd think jean would be picked BUT in between chapters i saw a few tumblr posts abt her growing liking for eren? I wont deny that she is DEFINITELY still a jean girl but i think for some form of variation in her work bc i think as far as i know she only has one other eren story on her ao3 and so i think her growing crush ok eren may be enough to win her over for just this fic even if jean remains her favourite?? I have like ten million other theories but i need to read the chapter now i will be back😋😋 (im so scared im shitting my pants)

-

Im back!! its been like 6 days since i read it but i just didnt have time to write out my reaction after bc i was so fucking immersed i lost track of time and was late to meet up w my friends💀💀💀anyway it was such rollercoaster omd😭 the letters from jean we’re honestly so cute and i think the year time skip made everything all the more realistic in her choice bc she frl needed that break😭 OMD AND THE WAY I WAS PANICKING when that girl came out the elevator istg i thought it was mikasa,, with all generic eren fanfics if theres ever a third party to make the reader jealous theres some unspoken rule to never use mikasa for some reason and i was dying thinking it was gonna be her😭😭 commonly people use historia so when even a mention of eren having a new gf came up my mind shot to historia i swear i was worrying just as much as the reader💀 anyway back to jeans letters i was honestly like getting a bit swayed that i wouldnt even be upset if reader ended up w jean and especially considering how offstandish eren was when reader went to see him at first he was like not following up on anything like he was rushing to see his stupid gf (it was armin🎉🎉🥳) AND THE READER WAS SO CUTE FOR THAT GUNDAM (tysm tiff its such a silly headcanon that eren collects those and builds them i can see it HELP) and i think it was so cute seeing the reader and sasha as bsfs more bc i think there was long periods of time that that relationship w sasha wasnt as strongly shown so its so nice AND OMGOGMOGM LEVI????? U made the dynamic w them so well how he has that small bit of warmth telling her she can work there whenever she needs its the cutest thing ever i love it more than ever and the way levi talks abt petra UGH u made everything so endearing, and istg the reader has never been real until this chapter bc she is so right saying that a bunch of paper doesnt change him bc I KNEW AS SOON AS HE SAID HE NEVER LEFT TITAN AND BECAME BASICALLY HIS DAD that he was not gonna be endgame,, i always had the theory that titan and the kirstein status is a metaphor for the status jean has from the reader bc shes loved him for so long thinking hes someone that hes really not,, jean was painfully aware how he could make any mistake at work and have no punishment similarly to how even if he hurts the reader she will always forgive him so if he couldnt avoid reaping the benefits of his kirstein status then it means he’d continue to take advantage of the reader but thing is this status dissolved when she took that year away from him which is why I appreciate how realistic it all is logic wise,, Eren evidently changed and omg i wanna know abt the pictures on his wall bc when reader was first there there was mention how there were no family pictures or any sign of him really living there but when she came back there were pictures,, i was trying to figure out the meaning but i cant get my finger on it😭 my guess is that he found more purpose in life?? Idk bc that seems so vague and farfetched i was wondering what ur intentions were with that🙆‍♀️ and i had a theory AGES AGO that piecks ‘bad bf’ before jean or smt was zeke?? Bc knowing how zeke was in that gc and stuff like that it sounded like smt was gonna link together? I just think the added details abt piecks past was left unfinished so i was also wondering abt that😋 anyway ugh the ending was also so cute usually i hate when characters dance in fanfics but it was so cute and fitting for the moment like THEM AT THE POINT omg i loved it i love u thank you SO MUCH tiff for an amazing story i hope u have a good day bb❤️❤️❤️

omg thank you for a such a lovely message 🥰💗🥰💗 i’ll hide my response under a cut here because it’s long

reading since february!! omg that’s like the beginning! i think i dropped the first chapter on valentine’s day

“tiff is evil and likes to fuck with our feelings” 💀💀💀 yes.

ugh the smells!!!!! that was my biggest slip up frfr 🙈 i said way too much when i responded to that ask because i was so excited someone asked!! and you guys were all right of course. eren was home and jean was just temporary (like the summer season)

lmao ok literally. i was still a hardcore jean girlie when i started writing tbaw and even after i decided it was gonna end w eren. so throughout writing tbaw….. i literally fell in love w eren jaeger 🙈 and i almost fell out of love w jean!!! tbaw!jean is so awful he almost ruined jean completely for me

hehehe yes yes you’re 100% right w jean. he’s so used to taking advantage and never getting punished (w reader and titan) that he doesn’t really see a point in changing because tbh his life is pretty good?? but then when reader spent time away from him, her blind infatuation w him wore off and then when he tried to pull that same shit again, she’s like nah bro.

ok this is probably not clear at all, but the deal w eren’s apartment is that in the beginning it’s very sanitized and show-homey because he feels distant and detached from his friends/family after the death of his mom and becoming close w zeke. he’s like internally ashamed of the way he’s acting because he knows he’s in the wrong so he’s almost punishing himself by distancing himself from everyone.

and then after a year when he’s changed and the pictures are on the wall, its because hes worked his way out of that hole of self loathing and is happy with the person he is now. so he’s able to feel more comfortable, even in the privacy of his own home, and having his mom “watch over him” in a sense, and cherishing his previous relationship w jean and his ongoing friendship w armin, etc etc.

yes!! pieck’s bad bf was zeke! i was originally going to have her have a bigger role in tbaw to show like how eren’s past behaviour can affect people, since she was a victim of that treatment when she dated zeke. but i scrapped it because it would’ve extended the story so much and also i didn’t really like writing pieck lol

so there are like lil bits and pieces about the pieck/zeke relationship and how the way he treated her makes her seek validation in men, but it’s super underdeveloped in tbaw.

thank you again for such a lovely comment!! i’m glad you enjoyed it 🥰💗

[poems-of-a-lover]

nick watches spiderman (cont.)

im gonna make another post bc i have a feeling im close to hitting the text limit on my other one but we're still on the first movie!! im gonna try and get thru this movie soon bc i HAVE to get to the second ones before my demons get me

okay where we are rn ben just died and peters in his evil era tryin to find the guy who did it

like hes just goin up to random dudes and beating them up bc he thinks its The Guy when its not

and every time i watch this movie i forget if they find him or if the plot point is abandoned bc peter has bigger problems by then KJGSHLKGJHSKH guess we'll remember together

peter falls thru a roof and these guys just let him go. like they leave him there. to be fair what were they supposed to do but still.

this is where we get the inspo to make a suit!! he sees a wrestling poster and is like "that could be me =D"

agh i wanna look like him so BAD bro i wish that were me

shoutout to him STEALING FROM OSCORP to make his web fluid thats so funny

this handstand moment is apparently judged by a lot of fans as him becoming spiderman but theyre SO wrong that doesnt happen until later in the film in my opinion

like thats just my opinion but other ppl can be wrong ig /lh

also how did he get this police radio. how do any of the spidermans get their radios. did they take them from officers. can u buy them. whats goin on here.

omggggg its captain stacyyyyy he'll be important later

like. incredibly important. GKJHSGKJSHGKJ we'll get to him in a minute.

"spandex.....spandex.......everything.......spandex......" i love peter so much

HE'S MAKIN THE SUITTTTT HES GOT THE SUIT NOW!!!!! THE SUIT OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!

i love this suit sooooo much its so textured and i love the logo its so fun

this car thief scene is rlly the scene of all time i love it

so many good peter lines from this scene

"seriously? u rlly think im a cop? a cop in a skin tight red and blue suit? yknow, u have got the mind of a true scholar, sir" PETER PLEASE BE NORMAL

this head tilt. the peter head tilt. in this context its kinda menacing but hes so me coded bc i also do the head tilt thing KHGSKJDHGKJ

the first time i saw this scene and for a while after i thought he told the cop "i just TOOK 80% of ur job" after he took the gun but he actually says "i just DID 80% of ur job" bc he webbed the criminal and i was so disappointed bc i rlly thought he was making a solid dig at the police force but hes just being petty KJGHSKJGHKSJ

ugh him talking to may here makes me sooooo sad. "u dont have to wait up for me, yknow" "yes i do" SHE LOVES HER NEPHEW PLEASEEEE

shes so worried for her nephew. seeing him hurt just destroys her. this boy is all she has. she lost her husband, her brother, her sister in law, and seeing her nephew come home at god knows what time just beat up and wounded must be so heartwrenching and she cant do anything bc he wont talk to her. i love tasm may shes so interesting.

"aunt may please, please go to sleep." "i cant sleep! dont u understand? i cant sleep! peter, listen to me. secrets have a cost, theyre not for free. not now, not ever." SOOOOO TRUE QUEEN. I SENSE A THEME.

AND THEN HE JUST WALKS OFF. LEAVES HER THERE. AJHGJSKGJAGFSJHF

oh yeah they're pushing curt to start human trials when they cure isnt ready, oscorp is so incredibly corrupt and its done so well in both films

"people die. even norman osborn." AKJGHKJSAGH SOOOOOO TRUE. YES. I HATE NORMAN SO MUCH.

also sorry for just quoting this movie so much it has so many good lines that i could talk about for the rest of my life

oh yeahhhhh this guy wants to start human trials??? at the veterans hospital?????

ugh theyre talking about plot that we dont learn until like the second film so its not important yet but its such a cool thing later on

PETER AND GWENNNNN I LOVE THEM

she really cares about him and it makes me so happy

shes inviting him to dinner!!!! with her family!!!!! its a family hes never met eating a meal hes never heard of but still its with the girl he really likes so hes gonna just deal with it and show up anyway

ugh normans doing things /neg

hes doing human trials. on himself. lets see how this goes HGKJSDHGKJL

oh hi peter. dinner date time.

he brought gwens mother flowers???? KWHGKSJGHSKJHGK theyre a little messed up bc they were in his bag while he was swinging but still!!! he brought flowers for this girls mom hes so sweet

"you must be peter" "dad this is. peter." thank u gwen

oh yeah i failed to mention that the captain of the police department is gwens dad if u didnt catch that from his last name

curt has his arm back!!! the cure worked!!!! hoping and praying that nothing bad happens and he just gets to live a normal life and be happy from now on

he has to go catch the one guy that i forgot the name of (edit its dr ratha) from going to the veteran hospital but the cure is backfiring so hes like. goin thru it. lizard moment.

anyway peter cant cut fish corrcctly

hes never had a fancy meal like this!! hes a little dumb!!!

uh ohhhh theyre talking about spidermannnnn yikes

this is what it feels like to talk politics with relatives

"if i wanted the car thief off the street, he wouldve been off the street" "so why wasnt he then?" PETER. CHILL. UR TRYING TO DATE HIS DAUGHTER PLS BE NICE

"its called strategy, im sure ur aware of the term strategy? maybe u learned about that in school?" MR STACY U ARE ALSO NOT HELPINGGGG

"i think he stands for what u stand for, sir. protecting innocent people from bad guys." banger line right there skajfhksjd

peter still apologized and said that he didnt mean to insult mr stacy but still ksajdfhkjsd cmon peter be nice

BIG PLOT HOLE HERE. peter webs gwen and pulls her closer and she goes "youre spiderman?" before he kisses her. HE HASNT GOTTEN THAT NAME YET. NO ONES CALLING HIM SPIDERMAN YET. WHERE DID SHE GET THAT.

ugh it gets me every time like where did that come frommmm

peter pulling away completely and turning around when her mother catches them is so funny hes trying to be respectful

uh oh crime time

HE JUST JUMPS OFF THE ROOF. BYE.

so yeah curt connors is now a giant lizard monster thing trying to find dr ratha and?? kill him???? okay yeah kill him he just threw his car off the bridge

peter has this moment of either going after lizard or helping save this mans son and he goes to save the kid and i love peter so much

hes also very very good with kids. he convinces this little boy that his mask has special powers to help the kid get out of the car safe and its so sweet

like this kid is terrified and honestly so is peter but hes staying calm and convincing this kid that this mask will make him stronger so he can save him. THIS is the moment i was talking about. this is when peter becomes spiderman.

the moment he gave that kid back to his father alive and safe is when he became a superhero. thats also when he coins the name. but this exact moment is what made him into the actual hero rather than just having the name. he gets home and he stares at his mask bc now he knows he has an immense responsibility to save peoples lives and keep them safe.

i love this movie

oh yeah mr stacy issued an arrest warrant for spiderman after the bridge attack thats so silly of him.

more petergwen lets goooo

"does it scare you? what you can do?" "no." "...youve got to lay low." "no, cant do that." "youve got to. i mean, why?" "because of last night. those people on the bridge. whatever was attacking them wouldve killed them. so i gotta go after it." "thats not your job." "maybe it is." SUCHHHHH A GOOD CONVERSATION. UGH.

OKAY IM GONNA. LEAVE THIS ONE HERE. ive finally got motivation so im gonna keep it going in a reblog like right away but im gonna stop this post here before it gets too long skjhfksjd

[gavinsmg24]

I can’t remember fully princess. We may not have gone but that’s okay. We did so much together. And If destiny Truly brings us together then we’ll do everything together. The future is scary. But exciting. Obviously we enjoy the things we have now and have things we don’t like. But then in the past. I had things i liker and didn’t. I liked living alone and smoking my bong. But being away from friends sucked. Now I cant smoke or have personal space really but I do have friends to interact with and so on. Anyways. Before you could do anything but didn’t have the things you desired and also wanted to explore and learn. Now your in the world and it does suck but now it seems like your freedoms are limited. That’s only okay if that’s your choice. If your limited bcuz he expects a bunch of stuff then fuck that. Grr anyways!

I haven’t been with anyone else yet and i would like to even if it was a short thing. Just to see how I feel with someone else. I still love you but also if it truly is us destined to be together I feel like it’s fair that I experience someone else first or else it’ll just seem like your my only love lost. I dont believe that tho. I just miss and love everything about you. Still tho. There will be time still. Anyways! I know it’s and and you shouldn’t. But even the fact that I’m in your head as a possibility someday even if it’s the tiniest chance. Idk. I love that your in love with my heart n soul. One day I’ll be able to support myself fully and maybe if we get it right we can have all those nice things together. A home. Our jobs n pets. In a place we choose. Just living. Finding friends. The life. Hehe but. Even if it’s not together. Don’t worry princess. We’ll find it. Bcuz! We’re good people and we will get our desires!

I understand tho baby. I hope whatever it is you truly want you get! Your partner to get lovelier. Us to find each other. Or someone else to whisk you off to a better destiny. Anyways! Rambling.

But. In the end. It makes me really happy .. that you enjoy the thought of you and me in a home together :,+) maybe we can make that dream still come true someday. Maybe. We wont expect anything. But. It wouldn’t be too bad would it 🙈💘 mwah!

And yes don’t say that. Moving is hard and big enough! You’ve done so much! Jobs and moving and new things. Concert and more! Gym nut now! Looking for jobs. Etc you have done things and will continue to be great!

Princess. I will always love your advice. Whenever you share with me I love it. Like the health n diet stuff. I love it! I love your opinion and advice. I’d look to you more if you were mine 🥰

I dont feel very smart either. But I’d always listen to you and if I did have something to teach you’d listen to 🙈 hehe. And it’s hard to think about everything but I know you’ve taught me a lot and helped me experience things I never would have. You are a part of me princess 🧡💜

[betawooper]

[ID: Three screenshots of Discord messages sent by the user AAAAAA Battery (who is me). Transcript:

ough im still thinking about orv, this is exactly what happened with mp100 honestly, where it makes you think about the message its sending and how its messages are being sent through the "unexpected" actions the characters are taking like showing compassion to enemies and never losing that core even as the plot progresses and starts getting more complicated

[10:48 PM]bc its a story about how temperamental humans can be once youve taken away their comforts and luxuries, they become "as ruthless as klingons" as star trek said, friends and family turn on each other to survive, they throw each other under the bus, they kill each other, they sabotage, they assault, they do all these horrible things when maybe they once promised they would never try to hurt you

[10:48 PM]very squid games

[10:52 PM]but then you got to other end of the spectrum where people will band together and keep a strong moral core, this wish to help others even when your own situation is bleak, that even those that were deemed irredeemable could use their second chance to help those they originally stepped on, that those deemed lost causes or burdens end up being irreplacable allies

[10:52 PM]very mp100

[10:58 PM]at no point have i ever felt that orv lost sight of the focus on human psychology or get bogged down with debates about redemption and whether someone "deserved" the fate they received (which is a very christianity-heavy subject might i add), but whether or not the person/character in the scenario has chosen to help them or abandon them completely

[11:04 PM]and the thing with dokja is that hes not your typical "yeah ill help you out of the good of my heart and bc im a nice person! ill always do that for any person in need no matter who it may be!"

[11:05 PM]kind of person

[11:05 PM]thats sangah's job

[11:07 PM]so hes free to pick and choose who he wants to ally with and it wont be such an internal struggle to leave them behind when they act all superior or think they dont need him

[11:08 PM]he even has this whole thing with huiwon later

[11:11 PM]huiwon is this lady who he saved from poisonous gas and later becomes one of his companions/friends, and he was like "do you want to be companions?" she was all "what? did you not consider me one this entire time?" and he was all "no, i actually have. i was just thinking that you might not have reciprocated the sentiment"

[11:16 PM]he wont leave behind someone who needs his help, but when someone clearly doesnt want to be his friend or just wants to manipulate him hes like "yeah ok bye" and later they get cursed by their own hubris, or not, he dont care, thats none of his business hes just a background character after all /j

well there is one exception which is junghyeok but that guy is literally THE main character of the story within orv, dokja knows literally every single little detail about this guy and he cant afford to have the dude die prematurely bc the plot isnt going his way in his current life/groundhogs day scenario

[11:28 PM]but also junghyeok is very quick to murder people he doesnt trust which is Not Ideal when dokja, once again, knows every detail of every one of his lives, past present and future

[11:30 PM]so he does kinda have to force junghyeok to work with him even though they both hate every second of it

[11:35 PM]its so interesting and i keep having to hold myself back from saying that its not a typical trait for dokja, or even a main protagonist to have bc hes literally stated multiple times that hes not the main character, hes a reader, a background character, Just Some Guy, hes not confined to whats typical of his genre at all bc he was never supposed to fill that role in the first place which makes his whole existence a paradox within the narrative since yknow, from our perspective he is the main protagonist while junghyeok is a side character

[11:39 PM]and i think thats where having one of his skills, being able to break the fourth wall within his own world, is such an integral part of his whole thing, i actually thought that he was breaking the fourth wall in our world, but no hes breaking the fourth wall in his world

End ID.]

an analysis from a month ago when i caught up to the comic

[watcherwatts]

[THE SCIENTIST HUFFS A SLIGHT LAUGH, ONE OF GENUINE HUMOUR] asking for a "friend," are we? sounds like you are asking these questions due to your own current experience...

of course, ill answer anyway, you are... rather interesting, after all. [IT TAKES A LARGE INHALE, AS IF PREPARING ITSELF, AND EXHALES SLOW AND CALM] let me tell you a story, friend...

many, many years ago, shortly after pupating, i entered the human work force. there was a job opening at this laboratory, it was part of a university, and i thought it would be a brilliant idea to disguise myself and infiltrate the place. i just wanted an opportunity to learn more. a chance to observe and study the human species while also getting a chance to further educate myself in various sciences. they hired me, and things were going well. i was one of three junior chemists, and.. it was fun. i dont use the word fun very often, but...its the only way i can describe it. however, it didnt last long. one of my co-workers, a fellow junior chemist in fact, snitched. i dont know how they knew...how they knew who- what. i am...all though...looking at it now...my disguise perhaps is not the greatest. anyway, they snitched. i wasnt aware until the latter night, when a group of people followed me home, attacked me, and brought me to what i assume was a form of observation room. i wont get into the gorey details, mostly due to the fact my brain has blocked a lot of it out...but...i lost my wings that day. they forced this poor girl to just...slice them off essentially....[THE SCIENTIST WEDGES ITS LARGE HANDS UNDERNEATH ITS PAPER PLATE MASK AND QUICKLY RUBS AT ITS STINGING EYES]

do you know what its like to have everything forcefully ripped away from you? im not sure how knowledgeable you are in mothperson culture, but our wings not only give us the ability to fly, but they are status symbols as well. i wont get too much into it now, but...to a mothperson, the worst thing that can happen to them is loosing their wings...even just one. i was shunned from my own species, they exiled me.

you ask how loss has changed me...it changed everything. i used to soar amongst the stars, dipping in and out of clouds, waving hello to the moon...and now? now i am crashing full speed toward the rocky ground, praying my ending is quick. i used to be a shooting star, my friend...although i suppose, all shooting stars really are...are meteors. [THE SCIENTIST CHOKES OUT A DEFEATED LAUGH]

[IT BREATHES AGAIN, LIKE BEFORE] however, i am no less of a mothperson. i may not have my wings, nor my community, but that does not change who i am. do you understand ? loss...it hurts. loss is a hurt that never leaves, it will scan over and scar, but it never...never stops hurting. one day, it will only be a dull ache in the back of tour soul...but it will always be there, and there will always be reminders that make that pain flare...yet...i suppose sometimes thats a good thing. a reminder of who you are- were. and sometimes that makes it worse.

im- im getting off track. [IT SIGHS]

you ask how i maintain...i an a creature of spite, my friend. i am a burning star, a flaming chunk of rock hurdling to the earth just to show them all what i really am. to say "LOOK AT ME, I DONT NEED YOU! LOOK AT HOW STRONG I AM!" as i crash into the earths surface, destruction in my path. i do not maintain, i build and plot and scheme and my great big plans as i crave and yearn and mourn the being i once was. when i was kind...proud...fearless...happy. i used to want to collect as much knowledge my brain could handle and spread that information to the world. and now, i collect as much knowledge my brain can handle and hoard it as i create for destruction.

i am a pathetic person. the reason, my friend, why i am helping you? our situations, i feel are similar. i see a lot of me in you, or-er...vice-versa, im not sure. whatever, anyway. i am helping you, because you remind me of myself. however, you still have...or perhaps had, people who care. i am helping you in your plans, and i am leading you into the wrong path. a path built on hurt. one of darkness, one of despair. because i am not a good person my friend, and i hope that with this conversation, you realize that you are not too late to change, unlike i. i find you interesting, fascinating. i want to see how far you will go. the Big One is finished, so is the instrument. [THE SCIENTIST, DESPITE NOT HAVING THE PROPER FACIAL FEATURES TO DO SO, SMILES] do you understand?

scientist.

it'S good To finally MEET in the... Well. maybE flesh for YOU?

how Are Your PROJECTS?

ah, hello. its good to meet indeed. the projects are going very well...infact, the Big One shall be finished, quite literally, any moment now...

[synchlora]

have to talk w my parents abt college oh no

[senny-wenny]

Dear thanatos

I hope you read this in private;as it is privately addressed to you,but do as you wish i wont stop you. I must be gone for a while as i will be exploring the mortal world. I hope you can come to realize why i feel compeld to and forgive me but its not demanded of you. You taught me much but left your own scars that sometimes still plague me. That however can be said about everyone who resides within the underworld. You and I share some of the best and worst moments in my memory. Please do take care of my room and cerebus for me while im gone. I promise to eventually return but I don't know when that'll truly be. Don't for both of our sakes change your perfect like this even though you are quite cold. You never have a dull moment in my opinion but don't over work yourself or I'll have to come back early and help you learn to live a little. You and I might meet again as you are in fact death and must see the mortals daily so hopefully we cross paths on the mortal land. You are truly amazing i wouldn't be able to do such a taxing job. I'll make sure to make up lost time to you as you deserve that at least. I still feel bad about the past as its bitter in my mouth and I'd apologize every day if you hadnt told me to stop already. You were the reason i stayed in tact for many years. For that i thank you. You are truly an angel on earth for me. May you never change and if you do may it be for the best.

Love Zagreus

Thanatos sat teary eyed just like the other individuals upon getting the letters and even hades seemed shakened by his sons leaving. Thanatos smiled a bit "never change Zag" he paused tears running slowly down his cheeks. "Ill be here when you return or if you ever need me" it was hoarse and barely a murmur but as tho Zagreus had actually heard his cries he felt a presence wrapping around him in a comforting manner. Zagreus was trying to help it sting less even though he was already gone. He'd never been one for waiting. Thanatos wished that just once Zagreus would take him with him but he knew it was near impossible. He knew that this sudden leaving had surprised everyone as hades seemed to even have some tears prickling his eyes. Even then he knew as soon as Zag returned as the warrior he'd wished to be he would be welcomed with open arms. Accepted by the deities of Olympus and the deities of the underworld. Zagreus would have many adventures and his look for his mom was simply the first one and this was his second. Hades even seemed to smile at Zagreus's rather intoxicating presence he made people pumped and happy. When he returned hed definitely be berated with questions about his travels and why he left but most importantly was he ok. Even if he was truly arrogant and sometimes an annoyance in the others' sides he was loved by his underworld family. Who'd wait patiently for his return no matter how long that'd be. His family may not always support his decision in leaving but they always tolerated it as there was no use in stopping him. Thanatos couldn't help but admit he was a force of nature and he was unable to explain his intense love for the guy who's heart laid in seeing the world. It was sad but also made thanatos pleased that Zagreus at least had something he loved so much. He knew Zagreus returned his feelings undeniably but even he could stop the wandering soul that was his true love.

[zemodaddy]

Hey so i finally completed the first chapter of the zemo x reader fanfic. Make sure to read the authors note at the end and i hope you enjoy.!

Synopsis:

Y/n is an ex-avenger who, after the blip was forced to work for the US government. You trained to be an assassin/spy and your gifts of wielding flames made you invaluable. When you were assigned to follow Bucky you find him helping Helmut Zemo escape from his prison cell. What is he up to? Should you stop him?

Warnings: violence, lots of swearing, angst, fluff and in later chapters extreme acts of hatred towards John Walker :)

Shades of Him

They replaced him. They replaced him with a random guy and stuck Steve’s shield on him. You were staring at the TV in disbelief. You thought of Steve like a brother and he definitely wouldn’t have wanted this.

After the blip you had no job, the avengers pretty much all separated and that left you without anything to do, and that meant no income and no income meant no home or food. You couldn’t exactly find a normal job because most people were afraid of you. A trained assassin and spy who could wield flames wasn’t really considered normal. That left you with no choice but to accept the deal the US government offered you. Do their dirty work and you wont end up homeless.

Your newest mission was to track Bucky to make sure he followed the rules set upon him for his pardon. You are close to him, like you were close to Steve. Hiding the fact that you were following him everywhere he went was kind of hard but you managed. You had to manage.

So finding him and Sam visiting a German prison kind of surprised you. Had this got to do with his therapy? Surely not. They left around an hour later and from then nothing more suspicious happened. A quick google search and a deep dive into some public records showed that a high security prisoner resided at this prison. Not just anyone. Zemo.

Interesting you thought. Later that night you followed Bucky and Sam to an old garage. You waited outside for 5 minutes before entering, trying to keep to the shadows of the room. The two men seemed to be in the midst of a heated discussion. “You want Zemo to help us?” Sam looks exasperated. Bucky looks a bit apprehensive as he says “Look let me walk you through a hypothetical, can I do that?” He begins to explain an elaborate escape plan for Zemo. Your mind was wizzing with thoughts as you tried to figure out your next move. He really isn’t in the right headspace, same old Bucky, you roll your eyes. “What are you guys doing?” You step out of the darkness. The two seemed to jump out of their skin, clearly not expecting you to be there.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” Bucky asks. They both looked so shocked by your sudden appearance that you had to suppress a laugh. “I was following you.��� He doesn’t look happy. “YOU WERE FOLLOWING ME?” He raises his voice. You weren’t scared because you knew he loved you really. Keeping the same tone as him you shout back “YES AND YOU’RE HELPING A CRIMINAL” “I SAID HYPOTHETICALLY DIDN’T I”. Sam looks like he could start laughing any moment. You weren’t even sure if you should laugh or arrest them. Suddenly your phone buzzes. “Then please explain to me why I just got a message saying that ZEMO HAS ESCAPED FROM PRISON?” Sam looks mad now. “You’re kidding me Bucky” he says. “Look we don’t have any other leads, we were at a dead end.”

You knew that the two were looking for information on the new super soldiers serum. “He blew up the UN, he killed king T’Chaka!” Before Bucky could reply to Sams argument, the sound of a door shutting sounds through the garage and guess who walks in. Helmut fucking Zemo. Your hand flies immediately to the dagger on the side of your thigh. “Woah woah woah” Sam starts walking towards him as Bucky tries to hold him back. Too bad he didn’t see you slip past them and push Zemo against the wall with said dagger against his throat. “Your going back to prison” you pass him a sickly sweet smile. He looked surprised by you holding him against that wall but didn’t fight back. Not with the blade in your hand starting to heat up against his skin. “y/n let him go” Bucky looks frustrated.

“He can lead us closer to the serum, just let him breath for a second” Zemo did start to look a little breathless. Good, he should be scared of you. Reluctantly you let him go. He starts to talk “if I may”. At the same time the three of you go “NO”. He looked a little displeased by the response but didn’t have any other option but to oblige. “Apologies”. After further debating and a lot of disagreements you and Sam finally agree to trust Zemo.. for the time being anyways. “Alright Zemo, where do we start”

You mentally set a reminder to always have an eye on Zemo, how could you not with a guy like him. He seemed to be sending you anxious glances in return, which to be fair you did nearly choke him to death. He leads you to a large warehouse containing numerous cars of different ages, sizes and colours. Probably stolen you think. After grabbing a case full with clothes for zemo you all head to an airstrip. In the middle of which was a private jet. You look at it in awe. “So you were rich all this time?” Sam asks. “I’m a baron Sam, my family was royalty before your friends destroyed my country”. Shit. Those cars weren’t stolen then..

The mention of his country makes you think back to that battle against ultron. You were very tempted to leave the avengers after nearly wiping out the entirety of a population of a country. But they convinced you to stay, where else could you have gone anyway? You think a little longer about the aftermath, when you helped after the battle with the injured, and loved ones finding their dead. It was one of the saddest moment of your life, until the blip. No one else helped from the avengers, they didn’t even visit the memorial..

“Y/n you coming?” Sam was saying from the top of the stairs. Lost in thought you were stood in front of the plane. Maybe I should stop getting distracted you thought. Entering the jet the seats on the right were already occupied by Sam and Bucky, leaving the only other seat opposite Zemo free. Great. As a gentle reminder you check your dagger on your thigh, almost like a warning that if he tries anything he’ll know what’s coming. Zemo swallows looking where it would be and ask his butler person for a drink. Was that his butler or the pilot? Rich people problems you thought. The plane sets off and you look out of the window daydreaming a little.

The other three talk lightly until the mention of Buckys list, which ends in zemo being choked yet again. You smile a little, enjoying the mini acts of revenge for the people he’s hurt and killed. You feel a bit sleepy but then they start to discuss where you were going. “Do we want to live in a world full of people like the red skull” Zemo shakes his head lightly “that’s why we’re going to Madripoor”. Confused, Bucky explains the place’s history in the Indonesian archipelago. “It’s kept its lawless ways but we cannot go in as our selves” Zemo says. Uh oh that can’t be good.

You were right. Zemo had handed you a bag full of clothes and a pair of heels. You stared at yourself in the full length mirror that resided in the toilets. “You have got to be kidding me” you say aloud. Your were wearing a dark purple silky dress that reached only just halfway down your thigh. It exposed most of your arms, shoulders and a lot of your chest. Thankfully there was a black leather jacket in the bag too, however on the shoulders sat a blanket of fur, similarly to Zemos coat that he took from the warehouse. Your heels were also purple. You thank the lord you took the time to train in heels too because you never know when the situation arises when you happen to find yourself in those monstrous shoes.

“This” you point at yourself “is not happening”. “Ah my baroness has arrived” Zemo says, amusement glinting in his eyes. You glared at the word ‘baroness’. “Here put this on darling, to finish it off”. He holds what seems to be a lipstick in his hand. You already knew what shade it was before taking it from him. “Do you have some thing for purple or is that just me?” Sam and Bucky both laughed.

You had to admit, the dress didn’t look bad, in fact it looked expensive. To say you were uncomfortable was an understatement, not necessarily for what you were wearing, but for the hand now draped around your waist. Zemos hand. He said that no matter what, you couldn’t break character. Bucky was playing the role as the winter soldier; you felt bad for him, the memories this must bring up. You can’t even begin to imagine. Sam however, wore an extravagant and abstract red suit that kind of looked like a dress. It was funny to see his reaction to which he comments that he looked like a “pimp”.

A car pulls up beside you and you all pile in. Of course you were sat next to zemo in the back. After around five minutes you arrive in lowtown. A place where you could apparently find a gall called Selby. That hand snaked back around you as you intermingle with the crowded streets. The high density of the crowd forced you even closer to Zemos side leaving practically no space between you now. You could feel his warm body against yours, sending a shiver down your spine. He looks down on you. His eyes seem to be softer now than they were before and he gives you a quick kiss on the temple as if to reassure you that you’re safe. You tried to keep yourself from shaking him off of you but as you carried on walking, you got used to him a bit more. Sam and Bucky followed the two of you, both with grim faces.

Finally, you come to a bar, most people around you watching carefully as you all enter. Zemo orders the both of you a shot and Sam gets his usual. This turned out to be something containing whatever the barman cutout of a snake. The sight of it made your stomach drop, and to your astonishment, Sam actually drank it. He looked like he wanted to be sick but, no matter what he had to stay in character. Bucky gave a slight nod, he didn’t get a drink, not as the winter soldier.

You had let it be known of who you wanted to see and as you waited a man came up behind Zemo and you. He immediately guided you away from this man so he was in front of you and Zemo in front of the man. He knew you could hold your own, you had made that clear already, but he wanted to protect you. For the act of course. “You ain’t welcome here” the man stated, placing a hand roughly on zemos shoulder as he turned to face him. “I have no business with the powerbroker, but if he insists he can either talk to me” Zemo points at Bucky. His hand then slipped to yours, holding it tightly. “Or bring Selby for a chat”. The man looks displeased and walks away. You had many things you wanted to say to Zemo at this moment, but sticking to your character was more important. As he continued to grip your hand, other men started to menacingly prowl towards you all. Zemo gave Bucky the order to attack and so he did. A fight quickly broke out between them all but Bucky was far too strong for them all. This ended in Bucky holding one of the guys that remained standing against the bar table. Finally someone called to say selby was ready to see your group. This was going to be interesting.

Notes

Okay i left this on a little bit of a cliffhanger but the next chapter should be out in a day or so. This is my first fanfic i have published so I’m interested to see what everyone thinks. If there’s any spelling or grammar mistakes then umm you didn’t see anything. I hope you enjoyed!

@killsandthrills @aisling1985 @booklover2929 @arianalilyblack @your-pixels-are-showing @kenna-1904

[faggotmox]

oh fuck i'm abt to talk abt growing up the child of alcoholics with a bryan as an older brother so scroll on or hit read more, i do not care.

my moms drank herself to death. she drank our whole lives & well before it. my dad too but he's a passive drinker. anyways, the point being my mom was fucked up, she had mental health issues & came from a physically & emotionally abusive home. as a child she was kept from her father after her parents divorced, her mother beat her at times, & she often had to protect her little brother who is kinda slow.

guess what kinda environment she made for us? my moms never laid hands on us, but she abused emotionally & mentally. the shit she did always raised alarm bells with me (crawling into my bed, drunk at early hours as she cried abt how she's a bad mom to me & things along these lines). my brother did not see these things are red flags or alarms.

my mom & I were my brother's only blood relatives here bc my mom took him from his dad after her divorce & moved across the country (huh kinda like how her mom kept her from her dad after their split, huh???). my dad was a fine father to us (aside from the drinking & queerphobia) but he was only my brother's dad by default which is proved now after my mom's passing & my dad doesnt really want anything to do with my brother.

anyways, my mom was all my brother had. so there was always an excuse or a reason why what she was doing was okay or fine or didn't matter. ofc we never had big blow up abt shit, bc in real life people just die they don't have big dramatic bullshit. but bryan's point of view, his excuses, his reasoning, runs parallel to my brother's feelings & place. i was the one trying so hard to get him to see, so he didn't get fucked up by her. i never wanted to like cut my mom out, maybe get her help but yeah she died before that, i just didnt want my brother wrapped up in her issues which caused issues in him.

i the kid that realized i was an alcoholic & got to work on that. my brother didn't, he still doesn't see what she did & we are going five plus years post death by drinking. & we watcher her kill herself, she was told to stop drinking & she pared down. drank "only" beer & wine, nothing hard, & ofc that was still making her sick. she eventually got sick enough she couldn't drink really.

so much of the emotional charge between regal, bryan, & mox, all people who have first hand experience with life threatening addiction, is so fucking real. if youve never been in it, like we have, you may not understand the pain these three are sharing & presenting to us. ive been mox holding onto the rope, shaking & wanting to plead for bryan to see but knowing he wont. ive been bryan, blinded by the love of someone important & special something unconditional. & ive been regal, a drunk who has hurt the people around me.

god that fucked me up. but it did it's job. it got under my skin, it triggered me & forced me to deal with certain feelings ive compartmentalized. as a person who has lived, in a way, every aspect of this story they're telling...its accurate & it hurts & its fucking painful & it's good. as hard & painful & unwanted as this is for me, its also good for me. & as someone who cant fathom putting that out there, on a national stage, i respect what they're doing bc it must be fuckin hard.

i lost over a year's sobriety on October 25th. i only got a few weeks under me anymore. & in a way this reminded me that it's going to relapse, that it's part of recovery, & i can move forward from here. its fuckin dumb that this shit can work, like when it's something you want to & need to see, art can work really well to help you realize shit. it fuckin sucks but im not alone. my mom wasn't alone. my brother isn't alone. even if we don't quiet see it.

[the-slasher-files]

Slashers React - S/O being a witch or wiccan

INCLUDES JASON, MICHAEL, BO, BILLY & STU and LOST BOYS

btw I am a wiccan myself so I hope you enjoy the hcs :)

JASON VOORHEES

Holy fucking shit, you guys are a POWER COUPLE, never in my life have a thought of a better couple

He may not understand at first but once you explain it to him he adores it. Abiding by the laws of nature is something he already does, so the fact that you do too and share a lot of the same opinions of nature, melts his heart

Clearing a little area in the forest making sure it is hidden away for your alter is a dream job for him

Nature walks all the time but it has more meaning now, knowing you’re a wiccan or witch

Herb, flower, mushroom or plant picking is something he will always do for you, leaving them at your alter

LOOK he found a cool rock or a weird piece of drift wood or animal skull, perfect for you :) 

Finds it very sexy when you are doing witchcraft, especially if it’s in the forest 

You would slow dance to the rain and light candles everywhere

Gardening would quickly turn into one of his favorite hobbies with you

Teaching him about the holidays you celebrate gives him reasons to spoil you on those days, he would bake with you, make potions with you, bring in your moon water in the early morning for you

Your crystals are his favorites, all the pretty colors and unique patterns, he might steal one and carry it around with him, rubbing it when he misses you

Anything you do to appreciate his land and the cabin you share makes his undead heart flutter

The absolute best partner for a witch or wiccan 

The crystal that suits him is an Amethyst - It is a grounding stone, bringing peace and calmness but is one of the best protection stones

MICHAEL MYERS

Major head tilt, squints  

Once you explain it him he still doesn’t get it, and he doesn’t care

He will just examine your stuff, poking it and moving it around pissing you off

oh great, more holidays to celebrate

Secretly thinks it is kind of cool, but he will never tell you

Maybe thinks you’re a little crazy because he heard some other person in the mental hospital going on and on like you do 

If you tell him he is blessed and has gifts he will have a hard time accepting that, but he would think about it forever because there had to be an explanation for how he could never die

He will bring you home something from a cemetery probably because he still doesn’t get it 

He will just stare from the shadows of a candle lit room watching you do spell work 

When he's pissed beyond reason, never sage him, never place crystals on him, never get him to drink tea, you might die

He will find a crystal in his coverall pockets for protection and he will never give it back to you, it’s his now and he will cherish it 

The crystal that suits him is Black Obsidian - It is a pure black stone that has a mysterious aura, heavily used for protection, it is also a very powerful stone, good for healing and truth seeking

BO SINCLAIR  

Again, another bad partner for this lol

You’re a what?? He has heard of witches before but never wiccans. Coming from Louisiana it has a very heavy history on witches and voodoo, good and bad. He honestly might be shitting his pants inside but keeps it cool, just please tell him you’re a good witch. His momma always told him to never ever mess with witches.

Thinks you’re crazy for believing in that stuff

If you feel the presence of his mom and dad, never bring it up to him, the only way you could do it is say “You’ve got some angels looking over you Bo” and leave it at that

You will make him learn to appreciate nature and taking him for walks is the best thing to do, it calms him and you can teach or tell him stories about what you believe in

He would tell Lester to grab some antlers or skulls for your “ummm idk what she does, she just needs them”

If you’re in some lingerie while doing witchy work, he will ease into it more

Bo would be the guy who yells about the sage smoke stinking up the house, while he is smoking a cigarette, b a s t a r d 

Jokes about his bad energy filling your alter will happen a lot

He honestly thinks its cool though, after a while, seeing a beautiful powerful soul doing something you love warms his heart

He’s going to try to understand but he will laugh and make fun

If there are people in town he’s going to hunt that night, he will have to deal with you placing some sort of protection rune, stone or necklace either in his pocket or around his neck, Bo won’t like it at first but showing you care so much for him melts his heart and he will protect it with his life 

His crystal is Smokey Quartz - It is used for strength and fortifies nerves, protection, a stone that represents Pride, but also brings calmness which we all know he needs!! The smokiness of it just reminds me of the colour of alcohol or his cigarette smoke   

BILLY & STU       

Both genuinely curious and love it

They don’t really understand it but they are willing and ready to try

Taking you on nature walks probably wont be as relaxing as they promised; Stu will climb a weird tree and end up hurting himself, then you will find some neat looking mushrooms and they dare each other to eat it

Find it hot but are a little spooked 

Billy would hate the smell of sage but Stu doesn’t mind it all 

They find it sweet when you try to put protection stones in their pockets when they go to kill

Stu will bring you an average rock from the sidewalk and say hey this is neat, here you go 

They are defiantly into trying witchcraft with you

Stu will love your home made teas 

Billy will never make a big deal about what you do, he just thinks it is neat and willing to go get whatever you need for your work, and ngl he is more interested in dark magic 

They will defiantly interrupt you will you are meditating or doing spell work so always try to do it when they aren’t home

Will ask if you could do tarot readings on them and if you use a crystal ball 

The crystal for them is Jade - a good protection and supportive stone, seeks love, passion and nourishment. It is also good for dreams and astral projection    

THE LOST BOYS

They are no strangers to the supernatural of course but they don’t know what a witch is beyond what they’ve seen in movies

I feel it would be very 50/50 on caring or not, this stuff isn’t even on their radars 

Dwayne, I think would handle it the best. (correct me if I am wrong) He is of Native American descent, so he has heard lots of stories about shamans and he is the most spiritual out of all the boys   

Once they see you doing spell work or setting up an alter they are much more interested 

If you are already turned, you are arguably one of the most powerful, David will not admit it but he knows it

Marco will 100% bring you random things he likes, not at all related to witchcraft but he thinks it could be, man doesn’t get it

David finds you extremely sexy, him and Dwayne will probably be the only ones that actually get it, and David loves the power

They pretty much just leave you to it 

A lot of moon and shadow work will be your main witchcraft with them

If you are cleansing the cave with sage Paul and Marco will make drug jokes and ask to smoke some  

ngl I think Paul might be the most scared of you, but he will never show it, He doesn’t understand it and thinks you going to spray him with holy water or make him have nightmares 

Dwayne will be the one to take you to the surrounding forests and go on some nature walks with you, collecting what you need

David - black tourmaline: a very powerful protection stone, pure black, great for purification and helping with anger. Star - rose quartz: the stone of love and purity, heals the heart, and dissolves worry and fear turning those feelings into love. Marco - Emerald: a crystal just as blue as his eyes. A stone of hope, encouragement and joy, turns negative energy into strength, love and compassion. Dwayne - fire agate: This stone has a very deep connection the earth radiating calm, stability and strength, also very good for power and protection. Paul - rutilated quartz: a crystal that seeks truth and authenticity, giving strength to the truest souls and uplifts and brings joy.