#feelings I mean
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See this is why I like enstars because usually the issue would be done now and I'd return back to my usual state of listless apathetic semi-detachement but now I'm invested in getting this card home and if I don't I will continue to be at least a bit sad about it isn't it fascinating how people work isn't it just marvelous that a mobile game can do that to you
#the slate won't be wiped blank again I might actually feel some genuine emotions I'm!!!!! uwaaa#i hppe thats the case I want to feel thibgs again I remember how during element week I was just full of those#feelings I mean#and positive ones too that was an experience I miss it....#was that this year? or last? this year right it must've been this year#yes yes it was this year#I'm breaking character here but i will be honest (doing that once in a while could probably do me some good even if I hate it and it sucks)#i forgot what it was I wanted to be honest about. hm.#ah yes right#I'm not very present in my own head a lot of times so i kinda forgot what character I was supposed to be anyways#not in a dissociation way but in a 'otherwise occupied' way#because everything i do feels so insincere i mean#it's just nice to feel stuff again like a normal person#which i am#otherwise I'm perfectly fine#promise :)#vent#ish kind of#it's more open than if like to be#and I'll delete the tags later#but this is fine#i think
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Sometimes tweeter people know their stuff- this is the right kind of toxic angst I want to read.
#tweeter#tweet#text#shipping#ships#fandom ships#ao3#I feel like this applies to fanfiction too so imma add this as a tag#fanfiction#I like Harrymort because it’s toxic and wrong#not because for the wholesome “I will love you forever junk”#I mean it’s adorable and I will read it#but I’m not in it for the fluff#I want to watch as my characters suffer in a relationship where everything goes terribly#and they either come out of it stronger and better#or they break into tiny pieces as I watch them suffer because of their partner#HP/LV is awesome#harrymort#harry/tom#I feel like this also applies to billford#billford
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.
Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.
He was really nice.
Yeah.
It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?
You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."
You didn't, loves, you didn't.
We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.
I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.
Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.
When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"
No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.
Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?
Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.
That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.
I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.
A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.
I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.
So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!
Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.
You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.
I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.
I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.
It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.
Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.
#listen to old auntie Shades#serious#fuck I don't know how to tag this#I should probably read-more this but I'm not sure where#and now I need to go take a walk for my stupid mental health#you never stop processing#you do it over and over and over and over#and hope it gets a bit easier each time#Someone might get upset by using prey#but 'preferred prey' is an important concept from the predator's view#it doesn't mean the people are inherently prey#you feel me?#it's the best word I can find for the concept#neil gaiman#adjacent
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Finally now that the comic is fully public on comicfury, I get to share it with all of you here, too <3
If you enjoyed, please consider supporting by buying a PDF of the comic on itch.io: https://tawnysoup.itch.io/home-in-the-woods
#I'd rather not clutter the caption so I'll ramble a little in the tags#HitW is short but special to me as it represents and encapsulates some hard life experiences I was going through at the time of its creatio#Ofc in a more metaphorical manner! but. I have been very much enjoying reading people's comments and speculation as its been posting#the interpretations are so meaningful and varied and i love that and really want to encourage anyone to reflect on what it means to them#for me making this comic was a way to process and move past trauma. i feel like it ends anti-climactically but i wanted to be true to#where i thought things were actually going in my life moreso than to veer towards impact. ultimately im glad i managed to finish it#and for it to finish going public right before the new year? maybe i can see this as shedding that old pain in time to become something new#so thank you for reading for supporting and for still being here. lets wake up to 2025 with wind in our sails#Home in the Woods#my art#my comics#original comic#cw guns#cw blood#cw body horror
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"You just have to look closely."
#anyway how we're feeling with this last episode folks#my art#tadc#fanart#the amazing digital circus#art#i had been meaning to draw this comic for a while but never had the energy for it#i got a burst of inspiration from the episode#tadc fanart#tadc kinger#tadc queenie#kinger x queenie#tadc episode 3#tadc spoilers#kinger tadc#kinger#btw sorry for any gramatical mistakes english aint my first language my bad#comic#tadc comic#i don't know if kinger and his wife knew each other before the circus but going with the yes option just because
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the happy end
#deltarune#ralsei#kris dreemurr#(not really)#kralsei#(also not really)#i wish there was a tag for ralsei/player. maybe one day there will be#deltarune player#art tag#last time i did an illustration with flowers i didnt research the meanings beforehand but a lot of people thought i must have.#and that made me feel bad so this time i was VERY DELIBERATE with the flower choices#(hard to tell but the bouquet is myrtle flax and catchfly)
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Tim, abruptly standing up in shock: Wait, I just realised that Damian will graduate highschool in 2032
Damian, rasing a brow: Yes, ofcourse? As I am currently in fourth grad-
Jason, spitting out water: What the fuck? 2032?
Steph, pointing accusingly: That's not a real graduation year you made that up!
Dick: I think I just threw up in my mouth a little
Duke, with his head in his hands: Does anyone else feel both their feet in the grave? I graduated this year!
Dick: Feet? More like my entire body, I finished high school years ago!
Cass: Guys I think Bruce is crying
#Tim: I feel so far deep in the grave that i feel like Jason!#Jason: hey now#tim drake#damian wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#batfam#batman#cassandra cain#duke thomas#stephanie brown#nightwing#red hood#red robin#signal dc#incorrect batfamily quotes#batfamily#batfam incorrect quotes#incorrect batfam#incorrect batman quotes#robin dc#dc comics#dc#source: my cousin will graduate in 2031 and this was my reaction#I mean#they're being too optimistic by thinking that Damian WILL graduate high school tbh it's a robin curse to never be able to complete#formal education
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I actually need some fanfic, where Bruce and Jason are in the middle of some argument, and a casual (and a well-practiced with Dick before) sentence leaves his mouth, something along the lines "How old do you think you are?!", meaning that he is acting childishly. And because Jason is irritated, and his tongue runs loose in his anger, he screams back that he is nineteen, and Bruce just freezes, because... Oh. Jason is nineteen. He is a fucking kid - his kid - that lost years of his teenhood, and was forced back without anyone giving him a space to catch up, with everyone else already treating him like an adult... When he isn't.
#you all don't understand how devastating it is to die like a kid and be back to everyone moving on and expecting you to run with them#when you are just learning to pace#no one give him time to come to his senses#and no one spoke with him about it#just how much derealisation it could bring#do you think jason sometimes still feels like he is a kid despite being so tall and strong#like he realises that he doesn't look like kid but in his mind everyone sees him like one#even though they never treat him like one#DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN#— lie's rambling#jason todd#red hood#dcu comics#dc universe#dcu#batman#bruce wayne
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Kon: Why are you staring at me so intently?
Tim, completely casually: I think I want to stab you with Kryptonite a few times. In different areas. For science.
Kon: ...why is my best friend considering torturing me?
Tim: I'm wondering if it takes you down so badly because it is truly that dangerous to you or if the invulnerablility of Kryptonians gives you a weak pain tolerance.
Kon: And you're asking me, a half human, instead of Clark or Kara?
Tim: They'd start telling Bruce about my "concerning villainous behavior" again.
Kon: And I won't?
Tim: I've kept fighting through pneumonia, a gunshot wound, and broken bones. And you go down when I poke you with a rock. Come on, you've got to be curious.
Kon: ...okay, I am a little curious.
Tim: YES! You won't regret this!
Kon: I will absolutely regret this.
#Bruce is absolutely just as curious as Tim is over this topic#Clark would just never allow that#From the Gotham Knights game#Dick: “Please don't try and make a Talon in the Belfry Tim”#Tim: “I wouldn't do that... I mean maybe only on a small scale. Like a bit of a Talon. For research.”#Dick: “TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE! DO NOT!”#This isn't slashy but I feel the need to mention that I am a huge supporter of Timkon#tim drake#conner kent#timothy drake#batman#robin#kon el#superboy#superman#tim drake wayne#dcu#dc comics#young justice#timkon#teen titans
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Poppy playtime got a guy worse than William Afton
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#springtrap#william afton#harley sawyer#fnaf 3#poppy playtime#poppy playtime doctor#poppy playtime chapter 4#So I saw the new poppy playtime chapter#and I think the plot and characters finally worked for me#really sparked my interest#I DONT love all the directions that chapter takes#but can we all talk about how cool the doctor is#AND BY that I mean how truly twisted he is#William’s crimes somehow feel small now#in the face of the company that just experiments on just kids#the doctor is awful in every way sick and twisted#and I think that’s epic#just the idea of William hearing the shit playtime co got up to#like I think the scale of it would genuinely shock him#even if he’s interested in that science as well#I may draw a lil more poppy stuff as a treat we’ll see
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#i’ve been thinking abt that cringe post#i think the latent feelings behind ‘cringe’ are shame and sometimes envy/bitterness#same vibes as when six year olds say ‘those toys are for babies’ if they’ve been shamed for their age by older kids#anyway. i think part of the healing process is realizing that shame puts you at war with yourself bc part of yourself is a social being!#and that part of you wants community and acceptance (maybe love). shame is the absence of acceptance#unlearning shame means learning self-love and gaining the confidence to find your people#jerma#cw jerma#(someone asked me to tag lol)
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gettingback into tma so here's the season 1 crew redesigns
the old designs from 2022 . . they mainly got a wardrobe change
#digital art#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#sasha james#timothy stoker#i feel like im opening a door andlike peeking through it as i postthis#higuys . .#getting my boyf into tma and that means i get to listen for a 5th / 6th time ! ! !#brainworms still so bad that i can recall every episode as soon as i hear the intro . .#oh how ive missed them
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blue light overexposure dot png
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jjk satoru#satoru gojo#fushiguro megumi#takes an extended drag of my cigarette long time no gojo#i wanted to play around w more quick and pose-focused pen style lineart#to like. try to break the lines down to only th bare minimum required to sell the pose#and fortunately or unfortunately for me gojo satoru is like a pipecleaner he's very easy to pose expressively#i mean these poses arent particularly dynamic but i do think they convey character#been very focused on painting lately but it was nice to focus lines w this i think i found a lining and cell shading style i rly like ???#i tend to fall into th trap of overrendering everything but this forced me 2 keep things sharp and simple and i love how it looks#tht might just be the layer mode tho fsdjdsf pin light HARD carried this one#whenever i wld come back to this after looking away or doing smth else i felt my eyes physically readjust 2 how aggressively blue this is#i feel like i only use blue to this degree when gojo's who im drawing lmao#but anyway he wins this round bc i do not have a least favourite on this page even the scribble-y chibis turned out rly well#said begrudgingly#break his kneecaps megumi
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Holy moly
#my art#digitalart#sketches#fanart#epic the musical#epic odysseus#epic hermes#epic the vengeance saga#we got mixed feelings here narrative wise but I loved the songs a lot#Charybdis is my favorite#eu ainda tô processando meu deus esse hermes me representa#odysseu totalmente coringado cara#i mean ele já tava coringado mah agora a conjuntura do meu mano foi pro beleléu de vez e é pq ele ainda vai destruir os pretendentes#num to preparada gente
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today#well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself#but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog#ask to tag#I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool#I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover#I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess#though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part#I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc#happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...
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