#everyone gets like that sometimes right
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the pilot program are all autistic in this essay i will
#like obviously evan and k#but i have arguments for sam and jammer too#sam's whole thing is not knowing when people are upset with her#she's charismatic and talkative and bright#but she still doesnt pick up on social cues#jammer is a bit more adhd coded but he's also very autistic#he's just the type who doesnt think of himself as nd at all#everyone gets like that sometimes right#hiding parts of yourself from certain groups#masking your emotions#being Too Chill all the time.#jumping from being “normal” to intense emotion quickly.#i dont think i need to make arguments for evan and k we all agree there right#we all know those ones#but. theyre all somewhere on the spectrum#i also think they all hold hands#misfits and magic#mismag#misfits and magic 2#evan kelmp#whitney jammer#k tanaka#sam britain#sam black
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personal happiness or what the fuck ever
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#jeans here too but ssh#snap sketches#i havent posted anything in what feels like forever and i GUESS i have to remind people i do draw sometimes. whatever.#aka in my brain i have at LEAST a five-page doujin where this gets incredibly nsft but i dont have TIME for that these days do i#so for now we get just. these scribbles. ill be able to make something exemplary again someday i swear <- optimistic#i think im going to close my comms off for the rest of december once i get through the batch i have now#which ... doesnt sound hard since the amount i have will probably take me to the end of december anyway 💀#i just need everyone to believe me i have better visions for yaoifying issue 309 .... the opportunity is right there...#like wdym the dream sequence is gon end on a panel of erik's eyes as he reinforces the idea charles needs happiness like scott and jean's..#call up your ex. right now charles.#what got me peeved about this issue is i have no idea what color eriks outfit could be vjaeLVKEJARK its like.#is he wearing a lab coat over a suit .... i think thats the intention ... or maybe it is a trench coat....#idk shit for me to figure out if i ever get the time to explore this thing again#LIKE UGH IM SCREAMING i have Such Visions that i dont have time to execute and theyre killing me#maybe ill just write them down idfk <- trying to write fanfiction ends even worse for me than trying to draw#anyways. im gonna drive myself mad good night everyone#i have to go to a christmas party tomorrow night. later tonight. whatever.#BYE
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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whoever needs to hear this: if you got a disability, if you don’t know if you have something, if you ever think “it’s not that bad” if you have a thing about guilt, if you’re ill, Anything: listen. it is okay to throw things away.
you can throw it away. if it sucks and it stresses you the fuck out, if you just “need the right time to fix it” for the past 3 months. or years. if you loved it once upon a time but it makes you feel kinda weird and guilty now. if it’s a jacket youve reaaaally been meaning to mend and then donate. a jar of sauce that “all you have to do” is clean out to recycle but it’s been a week and now there’s a small colony growing in it. slowly shredding to bits fabric scraps you plan to use to fix something. busted picture frame. cracked mug. old shoes. extra box. an entire pack of granola bars that you hate so much but don’t want to waste.
life is already so goddamn difficult for us. i know you still care about recycling and the environment and sustainability. but it’s okay, i promise. sometimes you have to take care of your space. sometimes you have to cut your losses so you can actually have energy to recycle the next thing. get rid of the old shirt before it turns into a tornado pile of guilt under the bed. you’re not a bad person. you can throw this one away.
#idk if marie kondo talked about trash in this way but i do remember something about her philosophy helping me with the guilt aspect of this#like the ability to thank something for the service it provided you but recognize that you’ve grown beyond it. yes even for dumb tshirts#feeling very chatty today lol.#text#disability#uhhh idk what else to tag#cleaning#environmentalism is one of my great passions#but everyone has to recognize they cannot be activists 100% of the time and do the right thing 100% of the time#using my iphone to post this is one of those things. buying something from amazon bc i can’t make myself go to the store is one.#sometimes one must preserve themself simply in the name of preservation. take care of your space bc that’s where you do You.#and sometimes objects accumulate in said space and just get this awful sickly aura. metaphorically#where you can’t deal with it so you shove it somewhere else. but it’s okay to get rid of shit that sucks
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May your hardened heart be woken By the soft and distant song Of all you left here unspoken All the shards we keep stepping on - Take this body home Take this body home Call the wind, and let her know Take this life outgrown Take this broken soul Call the stars, call them all And take it high, take it far, take it home
#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#sqq#lbh#scum villain#heard the song Take This Body Home by Rose Betts and it nearly took me out at the knees#it really really suits sqq's self-detonation in hua yue city right? i'm not the only one feeling this?#considered adding some literal shards for them to be stepping on - since sqq's sword explodes - but i couldn't quite make it work#anyway this has been playing like a music video in my head for the past couple days highly recommend listening to the song#if you haven't heard it before#can't get over the absolute dissonance between how sqq views this scene and how everyone else must feel about it#like to him he's just completing his plan - hopefully keeping lbh from destroying a city with energy imbalance and escaping The Plot#nbd! he and sqh have planned it all out it's FINE :) off he goes!#meanwhile everyone who loves him - including lbh who worked years to get back to him and is trying to work through a lot of grief#and resentment and doubt and longing and... - watches him DIE in FRONT OF THEM#just collapse while coughing up blood sword disintegrating energy completely consumed#like holy hell sqq could you traumatize the people around you any more???#no wonder lbh went a little bit crazy after that like my man was already not in a great place but what the fuck#lbh watches his shizun presumably sacrifice himself for him ONCE AGAIN like after he's finally Gotten Strong his shizun is STILL#coming to harm in an effort to make up for his shortcomings#my art#most of the time out here drawing what amounts to muppets and then sometimes i get the urge for this and just need to cover everyone in blo
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Odysseus always trusted Penelope. He was ordered to lie to her and it hurt him to do so. Penelope was distrustful of this stranger until she had absolute solid proof.
There are way too many people talking about how "Odysseus lies to Penelope. What a prick!" and it makes me sad/mad as that's not the case at all
The whole "Odysseus usually always has a reason to lie" maybe upcoming essay aside, He was literally commanded by Athena to not tell anyone. And it was with Penelope that he had the hardest time keeping up the act with. Not only because she's smart af and figured him out almost immediately (that essay coming soon too) but because he was trying to keep himself from crying with her.
I think people forget that he is disguised to look like someone else completely. If a random man claimed to be your missing husband, wouldn't you be scared/freaked out?
Anyways, the 3 most important people in his life are Penelope, Telemachus, and Laertes. He lies to all three.
Telemachus: Lied by letting Eumaeus answer him and still under the orders from Athena, did not cry or reveal himself until Athena allowed him to. (I read it as him being in shock. Last time he saw him, Telemachus' hand could only wrap around one finger and now he's as big as him. a bit shocking to say the least)
Laertes: He teared up seeing him but still decided to question and test his father, not by the order from Athena.
Penelope: He was trying so hard to keep from crying, tried to noodle his way out of lying to her, Under Athena's orders. still couldn't help but basically flirt with her.
Also to get this outta the way: No, it wasn't a matter of trust. He is shown to trust her right away. As this happens even before he gets the chance to speak with Penelope.
Staunch Odysseus glowed with joy to hear all this— his wife's trickery luring gifts from her suitors now, enchanting their hearts with suave seductive words but all the while with something else in mind.
(Book 18, Fagles)
If Odysseus does not trust her, why is he so happy to see her "flirt" with the suitors? It's because he KNOWS what she's doing and knows she doesn't actually want them. If he didn't trust her, he would be upset by this.
Now for the "it hurt to lie to her" bit.
Athena's command:
"Tell not a single person in the palace, man or woman, that you are back from your wanderings; but endure all vexations in silence and submit yourself to the indignities that will be put upon you.'
(Book 13, Rieu)
If you are my son—truly of our blood— let no one hear Odysseus is back home. Don’t let Laertes know or the swineherd, or the slaves, or Penelope herself.
(Book 16, Johnston)
And the people he did reveal himself to, he only did so after being given permission by Athena.
Athene spoke to him. 'The time has come,' she said, 'royal son of Laertes, Odysseus of the nimble wits, to let Telemachus into your secret, so that the pair of you may plot the downfall and death of the Suitors and then make your way to the famous city. [...]
(Book 15, Rieu)
He talks to Telemachus before talking to Penelope.
I’ll stay here, so I can stir the servants even more— and your mother. As she laments, she’ll ask for each and every detail.”
(Book 19, Johnston)
Odysseus is already sweating about having to lie to her
The next part would honestly be me just inserting almost ALL the text for this so I'll go into a summary. It's all in Book 19.
Penelope asks him where he's from. And instead of answering, it's a tsunami of compliments. Calling her flawless. Comparing her to a king. etc, etc,
Probably because he couldn't help himself and had to babble about how wonderful she is Who wouldn't? before finally ending with "Please don't ask me where I'm from. It makes me sad."
Penelope, probably overwhelmed by his praise, immediately goes into how "her beauty left with her husband. It did not. And where did you say you were from again?"
"Fine! I'm from Crete..."
And we all know that as soon as she starts crying, after a lovely description of how her tears "melted", he talks about how hard it was for Odysseus to hold in his OWN tears. Lying to her and being unable to comfort her was painful for him!!!
But though Odysseus' heart was wrung by his wife's distress, his eyes, hard as horn or iron, never wavered between their lids, so craftily did he repress his tears.
(Book 19, Rieu)
I love Robert Fitzgerald's translation so as a treat:
[...] so her white cheeks were wetted by these tears shed for her lord--and he close by her side. Imagine how his heart ached for his lady, his wife in tears; and yet he never blinked; his eyes might have been made of horn or iron for all that she could see. He had this trick-- wept, if he willed to, inwardly.
(Book 19, Fitzgerald)
Even with him revealing himself to Euryclea, when she cried out to Penelope, Athena made sure she didn't hear! It's most likely that he wouldn't be able to tell her even if he wanted. Athena was planning something, just as Penelope was.
She spoke, and her eyes glanced over at Penelope, anxious to tell her that her husband had come home. But Penelope could not see her face or notice, for Athena had diverted her attention.
(Book 19, Johnston)
He desperately wanted to be with her again. Literally daydreaming about it!
At those words Dawn rose on her golden throne in a sudden gleam of light. And great Odysseus caught the sound of his wife’s cry and began to daydream—deep in his heart it seemed she stood beside him, knew him, now, at last …
(book 20, Fagles)
Clearly doesn't trust her. /sarcasm
It's PENELOPE that has trouble trusting him. And rightfully so! While she was very certain that was her husband, there was so much going on and of course, she's cautious! He looked like an elderly stranger at first, why is he hiding from her? He somehow took out all those men with only a little help, Athena isn't telling her anything, Helen was kidnapped and she did not want that to possibly happen to her too, etc.
He even understands her cautiousness to be reasonable.
As she spoke, lord Odysseus, who had borne so much, smiled and immediately spoke to Telemachus— his words had wings: “Telemachus, let your mother test me in these halls. She will soon possess more certain knowledge. Right now I’m filthy, with disgusting clothing on my body. That’s why she rejects me and will not say I am Odysseus. [...]
(Book 23, Johnston)
He even trusted her completely to take care of everything while he was gone before. And he does again when he wakes up and goes to see his father. Telling her about how she too wise to need instruction
Odysseus (and Penelope as well) is well-known for his cunning tricks and how his loyalties are often blurred but one thing that is for sure about him is that he trusts and is loyal to Penelope full-heartedly. He spent every day missing her and their son and wanting to go home to her. The only moment we see his trust in her waver is during the Treebed scene, (which is what she wanted to test).
They are "like-minded". 😭
#FUCKING SOULMATES!!! *SLAMS FIST ON TABLE*#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#essay#penelope#odysseus#penelope of ithaca#odysseus x penelope#penelope odyssey#odyssey#the odyssey#tagamemnon#greek mythology#epic the musical#odypen#Odysseus is distrustful of basically everyone but her and Telemachus. They're also the only two that he's 100% loyal to.🥹#please don't mind the multiple translations. :') Sometime you have a sleeping kitty cat on you and can't lean over to grab your book so you#get it online :')#sorry but this is something that bugs me a lil as like. she's the ONLY one he truly trusts anymore. if he had his way. I'm sure he would've#just went to her right away.
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I see a lot of people in the Mouthwashing tag frequently listing 'keeping Curly alive' in the list of crimes Jimmy has done, implying or sometimes outright saying that not mercy-killing Curly was a cruel and unusual act...and would like to caution against that.
There's a long history of abled people deciding someone's quality of life is too horrible to merit letting them live (usually to nonverbal or otherwise 'low functioning' people lacking a clear means to communicate) and condoning the murder of disabled people under the guise of kindness. Curly is an extreme example, and one could argue he might prefer to be 'put out of his misery,' but it's important to note that we don't know, no one asks, and there's no attempt to communicate either which way.
How extreme pain and 'low quality of life' are handled are very nuanced and complicated topics, but you can never decide for someone else what kind of life isn't 'worth living.' Curly is obviously a videogame character, but these attitudes can and do affect the lives of real people & are worth being aware of.
#I say this as a disabled person who has heard ''I could never live if [condition] happened to me'' and claims my life was over#and all sorts of shit that made me think everyone would jump at the chance to put me down like a sick dog#just hits close to home so wanted to type a gentle word of caution#there's also a lot to be said about the history of disability rights and how DNRs have been used to purge us in hospitals#but i won't get into all of that for a fandom post#idk if i wrote this out well bc I'm trying not to get too In My Feelings about it but. yea#sometimes people deal with exceuciating pain & disability but would still very much like to live thank you#Mouthwashing
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Wowie rly digging the yandere clone headcanons… how would each react if their darling tried to run away from them?!
You said tried so I assume this was a failed attempt!
Short answer: they get really upset and try making it your fault (shocker.) Ain't no way any of these mfs think they're the problem. Good news! you're mostly unharmed and alive.
This will just be purely writing bc i mostly had thoughts! sorry no drawing this time!!
[cw! mentions of potential harm to reader (no actual harm done), manipulation, toxic relationship dynamics (yandere flavor), obsessive behavior]
Sekido
You're always being hunted the moment the sun comes down and you don't return home in time. Reasons like that are exactly why he hates it when you part from him.
This time is different.. he can't find you in your usual spots. There's no fucking way, right?
How could you.. No, how DARE you? Do you think that he's some joke? That his feelings for you are something that you can run away from like it's nothing?
The second he's sure the sun won't harm him, he's already white knuckling his khakkhara, swinging at anything and everything in his path until he gets to you.
They know how to sense if you're near or not, hell, they probably know how your specific blood type smells like.
Did you think cuddling up to you and memorizing every detail about you was for nothing? Don't be stupid. All he needs is a trace of you and he's gone in the blink of an eye.
You better enjoy running while you can because when he catches you, and he will, those legs of yours won't have much use after he's done with them.
Sekido doesn't WANT to do this, but you honestly give him no choice. After he trusted you enough to stop looking over his shoulder, you do this? How can he ever put any faith in you again!?
On the bright(?) side, Sekido's rage wouldn't be solely on you, it'll ricochet onto everyone, especially the other clones and himself.
They were supposed to be looking after you! But they can't do anything right, even a task as simple as this.
And why did he think it was a good idea to trust them with something of big importance when all they do is fuck everything up!? Everyone's idiocy is rubbing off on him!
The entire time on his search for you, he's cursing and wanting to crush anything he can get his hands on, especially your bones.
He doesn't even bother with speaking to the others, too busy spewing out all sorts of hurtful and frustrated comments about everything.
The brutal thought that you’d rather run away than be with him isn't one he wants to entertain, but it's echoing in his head.
At least, once the other clones get there, Karaku and Aizetsu brawl with Sekido so you're unharmed while Urogi carries you overhead.
Sekido's jealousy flares up when he sees you in Urogi's arms, making him even more pissed if that's even possible. Great, now he looks like the bad guy and the other three, the saviors. Fucking perfect.
There's a lot of yelling and a lot of blood, especially with Urogi making things so much more annoyingly difficult in the air. Karaku and Aizetsu aren't helping. Why is Sekido suddenly the problem?! You ran away!!
But when he calms down enough, he's cursing at everyone through clenched teeth. Sometimes trying to convince the others that you don't even need your legs anyway!!
Once you get back home (or temporary prison until you somehow regain favor), Sekido will eye your legs while gripping his staff from time to time.
Exactly why he's forbidden to be in a room alone with you for a while until he settles down..
He glares at you more often and grows colder than before. Arguments are more common where he twists your words just to have you talk with him and be angry within reason.
Any other type of conversation makes him so irrationally upset that the others need to step in so that he doesn't lose his temper again.
Karaku
The calmest out of the group. He brushes it off as “you're playing hard to get” again, and if he makes a ruckus, you'll scamper back and beg him to stop like always!
Then it gets darker out.. and when Sekido left, he seemed pretty pissed. Like more than usual..... shit.
Karaku sprints after Sekido when it clicks that he's found you. His mind starts reeling, unsure whether he should laugh at the absurdity of your decisions or get pissed off because you didn't even bother to give a hint!
Not like that would do anything aside from give you away but regardless!
Everyone needs to relax, this is obviously something they can sweep under the rug. This isn't that big of a deal and you're just having a fit, but things like these can get you hurt, y'know?
They're fun and all, sure, just maybe give him a heads up next time, yeah? Sekido can't take a joke, you know this!!! Still.. There's a way Karaku can work with this.
He'll be able to swoop in, save you, be your hero, and remind you why staying with him is kinda important. Just in case you forgot~
You don't wanna be out and about without his charming grin and protective hold would you? Don't answer that right now, he has a feeling you'll say something wrong!
Yet.. what if you need a firmer hand to remind you of what Karaku provides? What if you got a little too comfortable being protected so you thought you'd be alright leaving them? Man, who knew you could be spoiled!
Because of this, he would purposely fumble, letting Sekido get near you just so he can stop him at the perfect moment. He purposely gets hit too and makes sure some blood gets near you. To remind you how that could've been yours.
When Sekido calms down, Karaku laughs in your face and would pinch your cheeks if you weren't up in the air with Urogi on the way home.
You should've seen your face! It was really cute~! Maybe getting scared is your thing? He'll note that for later.
He offhandedly advises you not to do things like that all the time, fighting Sekido always kinda sucks, but it's not like you actually had a chance of successfully running away so he won't chastise you too much for it.
That's not his job, and his heart hasn’t pumped that fast in a long time.. not even in a fight! You're so amazing~~
And delusional if you think he's not going to milk this “heroism” thing back there for some extra affection points with you.
Don't be so mean. he got his head blown off twice and jaw dislocated thrice, not to mention everywhere else on his body. Don't you think those parts of him need some extra loving? more than usual?
There's not that much Karaku can say after that aside from reminiscing like it was a funny story. He's not upset about it, mostly a little miffed you got kinda far without him noticing, but he gets over it.
The usual routine starts back up for him when you're back home. It's like nothing happened, but he keeps a closer eye on you since everyone's so tense.
Urogi
If you're not home before the sun sets, Urogi's clawing at the walls with stress. He usually accompanies Sekido to go find you, but this time is different. Urogi could just barely tell you were around.. When Sekido bolts, Urogi's flying as fast as he can, trying to find you first.
You're so far.. you must've gotten kidnapped!!!!!
The stress from before burns into anger, expecting to see someone having their hands on you while you're calling out in vain. How could he let this happen?! Damn sun!
He darts through the skies even faster imagining it, and when he finally reaches you, you look.. fine? and alone. and looking at him like he's the danger. He's here to save you, dummy..
Urogi falls to his knees, burying his face against your stomach and finally wrapping his arms around you again. Your fists violently hit his head and yank fistfuls of hair back, but it doesn't phase him.
Your comforting warmth is back, that's all that matters. And god, your smell.. it's almost making him dizzy. He missed you so much.
There's many holes to the story in Urogi's head as to why you're so far from home, but he fills them in with more convoluted delusions. It's just a peaceful reunion right now..
That is until Sekido finally arrives and starts swinging his khakkhara way too close to your fragile bones.
Now he's back in defense mode where he scoops you up and tries flying out of reach. This is so stressful!!! There's lightning everywhere and he keeps having to dodge the multiple staffs thrown his way.
He shields you with his wings as best he can while trying to stay in the air, so you don't get hurt during Sekido's outburst.
In the skies, it's much clearer to see the hurt behind the haunting glow of Urogi's eyes. Did you care about how he might feel? Did you miss him at all? Did you not feel loved enough? Did someone say something to you?
As he maneuvers the sky, he holds you as tightly as possible, lightly digging his talons into your skin.
Being without you for a couple hours is agonizing enough on its own. If you HAD left him, abandoned, cold, alone.. he doesn't want to think about it. All that matters is that your kidnappers or liars or whatever influenced you are gone, and you're back safe with them!!!
You.. you still like him, right? Of course you do, fate wouldn't force your paths together if it wasn't for a reason!
Coming back home is uncomfortably tense, especially with how violently Aizetsu kicked Urogi across the room, nearly through the wall, when he tried to lick your wounds clean. It really hurt!
When you're patched up, Urogi is ten times as clingy if that's possible. He has his arms looped around you constantly so you can't stray too far, and if his hands are busy, he always has his wings!
As happy as he is that you're back, he can't help but cry into your chest sometimes. Everything is so tense nowadays, he hates it! How could you go and do something like that? Apologize immediately! Or at least hold him too? Doubt creeps in a lot, and your attitude isn't helping..
His mood swings are stronger. From sobbing uncontrollably into your clothes to being all smiles and radiating with joy the next just because you said something vaguely decent.
Aizetsu
The demotivation started to creep in the second you left. During the day, Aizetsu sits by the door, wanting to be the first one you properly greet. Sekido and Urogi usually bring you back and he'll be the one in your good graces without lifting a finger. That sounds nice..
But as the footsteps fade and the silence lingers, Aizetsu feels miserable the longer he waits... Hold on, silence?
Before he realizes what's happening, he's already dashing to where the familiar commotion is coming from. Dread sets in as his legs take him as fast as they can whilst being the slowest of the four. This doesn't feel like they're rushing over to you after a long day, it feels.. dangerous?
What did you get yourself into..? Why do you insist on going to places Aizetsu can't follow? Are you safe? He hates not knowing.
Usually you're the one who's fine. You deal with four demons almost daily! Please please please be okay. He can't fathom it if you were hurt.
When he gets there, the puzzle pieces fall into place and Aizetsu gets even more depressed, but at least you're not hurt. Well, not if he interferes. His movements are sluggish, a perpetual frown plastered on his face as he tries holding Sekido down.
Aizetsu wants to dissolve into the floor, and he does sometimes. Not wanting to fight Sekido off anymore, he slumps over.
This could've been a regular day where you came home.. Are you serious? Leaving? How pitiful could you be to actually think you could get away? Or was it that you wanted to play some sick joke on them? Well, it's not very funny... It's terrible actually.
Aizetsu stays silent on the way home, walking with a bit more energy knowing you're near despite his heart ache.
You can feel the harrowing disappointment radiating off of him the moment you all go back home.
He's tired, annoyed, and so unbelievably upset. Aizetsu grimaced when Urogi got near your scratches with his tongue, so he “politely” ushered him away.
Knowing a human's weak points is good in battle, but he started trying to learn how to heal them, specifically because he knew these types of things might happen.
As he cleans your scratches, he's actively scolding you for leaving in a cold emotionless tone. And by scolding, he's using manipulative language, trying to make you guilty for everything you did.
He barely has the energy to live, but now that he finally found his light in the darkness, you want to leave? Is it so wrong he wants to hold onto what makes him even a smidgen happier than usual? He reminds you that he'll wither away without you, but he's not really too keen on dying just yet.
When he tries to get back into a routine, he just can't. He knows why you left, but he doesn't want to hear it. Even if you're sweet to him or not, he'll hold you from behind when you rest.
Looking at you is too much, but being away from you is even worse. Aizetsu compromises this way, but gets quieter, occasionally sniffling when he hides his face behind you.
There's too much going on and he's so tired.. If it weren't for the others, he probably would've held you so tight for so long so that you both would perish together.
Maybe that’s why he's only allowed to hold you when you're asleep. Just please don't do that again.. He NEEDS you. Please, please, please.
Safe to say you gave them a scare. When they double down on the protectiveness, living is ten times more difficult for EVERYBODY. when you lose their trust, it's pretty difficult to gain it back, but not impossible!!
Sekido and Urogi will always assume the worst if you're gone for too long while Karaku and Aizetsu give you a little more freedom until the others drag them along into their worries.
#null rot#yandere demon slayer#yandere kny#yandere kimetsu no yaiba#Sekido#Karaku#Urogi#Aizetsu#cloaked cult member#not art#null brainwash#null gospel#IM NOT A WRITER!!!! JUST A REMINDER!!!!!!!!! JST A RAMBLER!!!!!!!!!!!!#i really couldn't think of anything drawing wise to go along with this.... but I really wanted to write for it even if I'm a bit amateur#Am I even doing this bullet thing right?? I'm not good at cohesive thoughts. but I try!! I hope I did this right..??#Also. Sekido honestly doesn't want to hurt you or even put his hands on you. he's just really scared you might something will happen to you#how the fuck is he going to live with himself if you somehow get eaten by another demon? or worse. used as bait from either demon or slayer#now that upper moon fucking four has a soft spot. its really selfish of you to run away..#don't you see how that can ruin everyone's lives including your own!? (manipulative)#why he gets more upset with any other type of convo at the end is bc it reminds him of how things were before. they were good.#but you had to ruin it didn't you? (manipulative ×2) and for sure for sure. if he holds your hand you're getting a bruise.#Karaku is hella chill bc he's wayyy too cocky that he can find you again. the little arrogance he has rearing its head again.#Hes not stupid. he knows you want to escape. but that means he has to whittle you down a little more. get you used to this. to them. to him#You can't escape. he won't let you. He belongs with you. so just try and get comfortable. yeah?#Urogi.. going through it. Hes like your ankle monitor. very fragile minded with his mood swings but extremely stubborn about letting you go#Hit him. pull at his hair. push him away. spit at him. hes sad for a while but bounces back. he always does! and he knows you will too!!#He just needs to wait.. even if it hurts his feelings sometimes. but never for long because you'll be back to loving him like before!#Aizetsu's stuck in a loop of angry -> sad until he ends up quietly crying because hes depressed you dont like them. eveything is pitiful.#he cant even move on bc youre his light. nothing will change that. even if you hurt him. all he can beg of you is to be kind to him. adjust#hes not the monsters you think he is. he can be sweet kind gentle. whatever you want.. just please.
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Madoka is the promise you won't turn from a child, full of hopes and dreams and the wish to save the world, into a bitter adult who just wants to hurt others and ruin people's lives
Madoka promised to be there for you to remind you of the person you wanted to be and to stop you from becoming what you sought to destroy
Madoka made that promise and became the very embodiment of it
#Moon posting#Feeling emotional about Madoka Magica all out of the blue and I'm making it your problem#IDK I saw a video in my YT reccs ranking Doremi toys and I really enjoyed it (sadly can't remember who it was)#So I went to check what other content the person had made and they had recently-ish done a blind reaction to Madoka#Didn't watch the whole thing just The Good Shit at like double speed (it was completely uncut and I wasn't in the mood for a full rewatch)#And god. The way the fucking ending to this series still makes me fucking sob like a baby EVEN WHEN WATCHING AT DOUBLE SPEED#I dunno what to tell you I really like that series. Like I just do. Madoka is Good Actually#IDK I feel like everyone has a lot of Opinions about the series and all I can say is that y'all are wrong and don't understand it#MADOKA ISN'T ABOUT BEING EDGY GRIMDARK TORTURE PORN!!! IT'S ABOUT HOPE!! AND DREAMS!! AND NOT GIVING UP!!#Y'all remember that post about how sometimes if you need to imagine Naruto encouraging you to help you get out of bed and brush your teeth#Then you imagine that dattebayo#And that is literally what Madoka is.#Except instead of self-care Madoka is there to stop you from being a toxic little dickweed and be nice to others#Sometimes you need to stop and ask: Would Madoka do that? Would Madoka say that? Would she be proud of me right now?#Don't ask me why I'm posting this it is 5 am I should be in bed man
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I love how Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse said “Anyone can be Spider-Man”. I love how it inspired everyone to imagine their own Spider-People, saving the day in their own universes, with all kinds of cool, interesting personalities and aesthetics and mutations and life stories and relationships. We all put pieces of our soul into these homemade heroes. We had fun. We found community. And then Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse said, “Wow, great job! You’ve really taken our message to heart. Well, get ready for even more of everything you liked from the first movie and a new message to complement the first. Anyone can be Spider-Man… and anyone can be pulled into a cult.”
So now we all have to contemplate whether our lovingly crafted heroes would ever be on Team Mandatory Trauma Because Martyr Complex or not and why.
#i for one made a second spider-person (diving belle) right after watching atsv#who IS on team mandatory trauma for reasons that make sense given her moral code and its context#her world has eldritch horror elements that give some of her enemies a sharper edge#and she has had to use lethal force#in a ‘stays true to her strict morality based around compassion nonetheless’ way like wonder woman#she’s used to tough utilitarian decisions#she’s learned that no hero can save everyone from intensely traumatic brushes with mind-breaking corruptive power#so when miguel gave his big speech she was ‘yeah okay. i get it. sometimes shit just happens’#it was actually very enjoyable going through the character creation process#from the starting point of ‘WOULD chase miles and restrain him by force’#and then working toward ‘otherwise a genuinely good person and superhero who could be the star of her own series’#atsv#spider man across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#spider-verse#smatsv#sm: atsv#spiderverse#spidersona
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does anyone else get so upset when you think about all the things that happened to your f/o... all the things they went through? all the things they haven't healed from? the pain that they may still be enduring? how you can do your best to help them but you can't protect them from everything. so you just love them the ways they needed before, how they deserved. and you see them happy because they finally accept, at least in some ways, that they do deserve it. they deserve love like all beings do
#i get so upset when i think about it for too long; i'm there for them now but there was nothing i could do; wanna go back and protect them#i'm like this with everyone i care about (real and fictional) and sometimes it's hard#it's about hans this time. i just can't believe all the things that happened to him#no wonder he's terrible! no one cared about him! why should he care! all he knows is pain and neglect! except from me!#i know why he sees everyone else as worthless because that's exactly how everyone he knew saw him first; he was supposed to be loved#they all used him up til he was nothing and that's all he knows#i can't even read certain parts of a frozen heart again because i just cried so much the first time... he didn't deserve that#no one does#and then the comics detailing it all even FURTHER#he was like any other innocent kid and seeing that progression hurt so much. i could get into the details but ugh#hux's age of resistance comic did the same thing. i can't even look at the first 2 pages; it's too much. i just want to hold him#anyway... i'm fine :') i've made a post like this before but i'm feeling it so hard right now#self ship
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sketchbook sillies
#took these in the dark . can u tell . i know u can (they look like shiart im sory)#i can draw javi with my eyes closed + studying him is easy and fun so i tend to draw him a lot. plus he comforts me. i’m sorry kieran i miss#u so bad and i want to draw u lots but i don’t have the strength to look at ur in-game model as much as javier’s …….. :(#i promise i’ll study him soon so i can get the hang of him again#still slowly trying to get back in the swing of things since getting out of the hospital … life is so odd for me right now :/ anyway …#i promise i’m going to get to the things in my inbox as fast as possible im just … a slow person ….. and im so tired ….. please be patient#with me ….. thank u very much to everyone who said anything to me tho i look at them and smile every day even tho i dont have the energy to#do anything with them outright yet :]#anyway … my pookies … trying to make drawing fun again and practicing so slow …. i’m scared of burnout bad#i miss them so bad#javieran save me … save me ………….#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#javier escuella#javieran#image#art#hero draws sometimes#putting the art in shart with these i’m ngl but im just trying to have fun again :(
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I'm gonna be shitting and screaming and starting fights if Sera becomes a villain. I can't take sibling angst, Sera loves Emily I swear guys believe meeee.
#im making a fanfic of two and a half halos and the mc is Emily and it focuses alot on her and sera's dynamic#ill probablg send it here when im done. in 100 years because i havent finished a fic in 20 centuries#hazbin hotel sera#seraphim#hazbin sera#emily hazbin hotel#hazbin emily#hazbin hotel emily#emily seraphim#hazbin hotel#PLEASE DONT MENTION HAND PLACEMENF PLEASE /S#I WAS DRAWINF THIS AT 3 AM AND I KEPT BLACKINF OUT BUT I KNEW ID LOSE MOTIVATION IF I DIDNT FINISH#I DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL I WAS DONE SO PLS JST- IDK. JST LOOK AT MY BABIES#i headcanon Sera as trans. for pride month i have the idea of putting every ship and character under their pride flags#sooo sera is gonna be covered with a trans flag and emily... also trans becauze everyone is trans becauze o said so#charlie is ALSO trans because i said so#i came up wit trans sera on my own(idk if it existed be4 but i jst thot of it and got all happy cuz she is so trans idc) but#i freaking love trans emoly and trans charlie so for a bit i felt wrong for hc so many characters as trans#rhen i woke up one day and was loke. yeah idgaf they all trans cuz theres not enoigh#like im not gonna ALAAYS depict them as trans except sera(she is 100% trans to me) i like the other hcs for fun. im so srs for sera i 💜 her#sera just wants to hug her huggable sister sometimes and thats ok! 💜💜#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#*in stupid egg boy voice* i wish Sera would hold ME in her arms... 😔#gave them snouts because i cannot deal with the no noses. it genuinely disturbs me. have yall SEEN velvettes side profile omfg 😨#my babies... i just want them to be happy. why must there be sibling angst... they jst want to do whats right ☹️#im gonna fight to protect Sera from spme of yall fr fr cuz she do not deserve to be SO hated. JST. JST GET TO KNO HER I SWEAR SHE COOL#like i get it. what she doin is wrong. but if you was in her shoes you know you would do the same dont even lieeee 😨
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i know there are only like five of us but i feel like garth stans really don't talk enough about how left out he feels with the titans. dick and wally are Best Friends. donna and roy are on and off again. dick and donna are too much to explain. on average, roy is close with at least one of dick's siblings. dick donna and wally all go on to be in the new teen titans. garth isn't Close with any other titans but the originals
and it's this thing where,,, it's not his Fault yknow? he's not mean or spiteful or creepy or anything that would warrant them not liking him as much. he joins in on their jokes, he risks his life, he shares his feelings, he does everything that he knows friends do. but just the virtue of him being atlantean and them being land dwellers ruins everything. he Can't spend more time with them, he doesn't understand their culture, he will always choose atlantis.
they'll always be his friends but he can never truly be with them or form deeper bonds. he'll always be the last one to know what's going on, the last one they call, a complete shadow and afterthought.
and sure there's a part of him that knows this, that feels bitter and lonely. but he can't even be that mad at them because he does the same thing. the titans are never his first thought, he never calls them first, he doesn't reach out and ask if they're okay, they're always the last ones to know what happened to him. the titans are such a huge part of his life but they're barely in it.
there's just something so inherently lonely about garth that i feel most dc writers don't understand. they just don't get it. they don't get what it's like for this boy who was all alone, never had parents or a family, suddenly being taken in and having to act like he knows how to be a son, a friend, a partner. meeting kids his own age and wanting to bond with them so bad, having to watch as they all get closer to each other and leave him behind, not being able to do anything about it. never being taken seriously, always the last choice... garth man.....
#usually i love garth thinking but sometimes he makes me too sad#i can't think about him too much or i get genuinely upset like please treat my boy better#i just.... AUGHHHHHH psychic damage from garth thinking#like i just... all of the titans have someone... Someone who is just theirs... theirs alone... someone who would choose them first#and garth doesnt... he doesnt have that with anyone#sure you could argue tula or dolphin but tula died young and he was dolphin's second choice aljhgd#and i know he doesn't hold that against her but you cant convince me that didnt sting at all#theyre also not titans!!#arthur always chooses mera or jr the titans all have their designated best friend and love interest like#he's got no one !!!!!!!!#honestly i think one of the biggest reasons for this (besides garth being Doomed) is that he never really got past the sidekick thing#like all of the titans got past that in their own right#i dont even need to explain that cause everyone knows what im talking about#but garth... i mean phil jimenez tried and i commend him for that but it just didnt happen the way it couldve or shouldve#and it happened too late#be honest do you guys think garth will ever become his own full character or will he always be in the shadow of aquaman and the titans#garth of shayeris
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Not him saying that while giving MC the bedroom eyes
#replaying old events right now and just. this game sometimes#the butler event will forever remain as one of my favorites bc it's just lucifer forcing his fanasties & desires onto everyone else#“what should we do for the a-” “we are going to study the human world's master-servant relationship. we will be butlers. mc will be#our master. all of you HAVE to do it. i already got everyone outfits so get changed NOW so we can start!!!“ like okay luci. very subtle :)#obey me#obey me lucifer
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The last thing I'll say, and I'm saying it because it applies broadly- is that there is very rarely a perfect victim OR evil mastermind and everyone needs to get better at recognizing and responding to that fact. Victims of legitimate crimes or horrible acts can be aggressive, or bitter, or biased or a dozen things that make them 'unappealing' to listen too. They can have willfully exposed themselves to content or been in circles they really shouldn't have. They could have been given warning signs that they missed or outright ignored. They might exaggerate or misremember their claims. That does not mean they are no longer victims. If you completely missed the red flags and were taken advantage of- you were still taken advantage of. If you exposed yourself to harmful content that was upsetting or distressing, you were ultimately still exposed to harmful content. Maybe it is "your fault" for being there, but you were still there and it still happened. Especially in terms of online, its just shockingly very easy to end up in places where you are in danger of harm- and its shockingly easy to not notice that you may have put yourself in that position until its too late. If you want to be supportive of victims, you need to recognize that very often victims did things that were inappropriate themselves, put themselves in harmful situations, didn't back out when they should have, missed "obvious" signs... and are still a victim in the end. Likewise, abuse ranges from the intentional to the neglectful. Sometimes an abuser can even do both at once. People do harmful things completely on accident- even repeatedly. It can be mental illness or stress, it can be a dozen things- but yes sometimes people have patterns of behavior that are harmful and destructive that they either aren't aware of, in denial of, or don't get how bad they are about it. That does not erase the harm those behaviors cause. If you handle a situation poorly, it could just be that you handled it poorly- you didn't think through your actions or their implications. But from the receiving end, it doesn't matter how accidental it was, its going to often read as intentional, or a pattern, or whatever. And ultimately the harm is still done regardless of what it was. There is a world of difference between harm done intentionally and harm done through stupidity, neglect, or plain old mistake- but it not always easy to identify which is which- and harm is still done in the end. Sometimes people are harmed because someone saw an opportunity to do so, and sometimes they're harmed because no one stopped to question if it was even a risk. Both of those still ultimately result in someone getting hurt. The point of this is that if you are ever going to analyze situations critically you can not be looking for just "the good one" and "the bad one". You can't just weigh initial impressions on a scale and hope one side tips further and call it a day. Believing victims doesn't mean you need to throw caution to the wind, but likewise bad actors or misinformation doesn't mean your reaction should be that there couldn't possibly be victims. Be very mindful of how you interact in situations where someone was potentially hurt. Being 'critical' can easily boil over into disregard for harm- both the harm the involved might have done to each other and the harm you yourself do in how you respond to it.
#t.extpost#drama#i guess.#sorry i dont really want to talk to much about drama but#it was rubbing on me to see people act like whichever side they decided was in the right meant nothing bad ever happened to the other#sometimes everyone fucks up and everyone gets hurt in different ways!#even in situations where there IS a victim and clear undeniable abuser there is sometimes going to be victims who just look like the asshol#and theyre still going to have been the one hurt#and actual real abusers will use that to their advantage by going hey look at what an ass they are#othertimes people will be manipulative and awful and its mental illness and not evil. it doesn't erase the harm they cause through their#manipulation or by how they act but it does mean they didnt have a four year plan on how to ruin someones life#and probably shouldnt be treated or assumed as such. even if never forgiven for how they acted#looking only for evil masterminds also gives people an outlet to brush off the real issues with their behaviors#tdlr theres no easy answers to how to deal with these kind of things but we also cant pretend like the only thing we can do#is to pretend like theres never problematic people who are actively dangerous in their communities
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