#Then you imagine that dattebayo

[moongothic]

Madoka is the promise you won't turn from a child, full of hopes and dreams and the wish to save the world, into a bitter adult who just wants to hurt others and ruin people's lives

Madoka promised to be there for you to remind you of the person you wanted to be and to stop you from becoming what you sought to destroy

Madoka made that promise and became the very embodiment of it

[pettyoddity]

mwah mwah

[wmiescieinazumy]

made this for myself instead of studying. but now hopefully i will have the motivation to do my work when i look at this ^_^

template credit

[ladykissingfish]

*18-year old Naruto going to Sasuke’s house for dinner*

Sasuke: Such a long walk out here … but I guess it helps us build an appetite for dinner, eh?

Naruto: True.

Sasuke: Mom’s really excited that you’re coming, you haven’t been able to come in so long. Her and Itachi have been in the kitchen all —

*Naruto abruptly lets go of Sasuke’s hand as they come within view of the house*

Sasuke: Hey … why’d you do that?

Naruto: Don’t want him to see …

Sasuke: Him? Oh, you mean Madara?

Naruto: Yeah. I’m pretty sure your grandpa hates me, dattebayo.

Sasuke: He’s not my — he doesn’t —- well okay you’re probably right. But to be fair he hates pretty much everyone.

Naruto: He doesn’t hate you …

Sasuke: No, and I can’t really figure that out. But Itachi thinks that maybe it’s because I remind him of his brother Izuna.

Naruto: Whatever the case, I know he thinks I’m not good enough for you, Sasuke. Last time you left us alone he called me “an inferior carrier of the Uzumaki genes” and insulted Kurama so bad I almost lost control of him!

Sasuke: You think that’s bad? Obito brought Kakashi over two nights ago because Kakashi wanted his permission to “court” Obito, right? He didn’t even get the words out before gramps tried to impale Kakashi with his cane. Took everyone in the house to hold him back from trying to take out Kakashi’s sharingan with his soup spoon.

Naruto: Wait … does he expect that? Like, should I have gone to him for permission to date you??

Sasuke: He expects a lot of things as the clan elder. But we’re already dating. Asking “permission” seems a bit unnecessary.

Naruto: It’s unnecessary but like you said, he’s your clan elder. It’s probably a respect thing to him, dattebayo. Okay! It’s too late for it tonight, but next week I’m going to come at him full-force. I’ll wear a kimono and bring gifts for everyone in your family, the biggest present of all will be his. I’ll kneel in front of him and formally ask his permission to marry you!

Sasuke:

Sasuke: M-marry?!

Naruto: Yeah! If he’s gonna try and kill me anyway, I may as well go all the way with it, right?

Naruto: Oooh I know, I’ll do it on Tuesday, my birthday! That way if he says Yes, it’ll be like I’ve gotten that one dream present I’ve always wanted; my Sasuke! *kisses Sasuke*

Sasuke, blushing: A-and if he says no?

Naruto: Then I can be one of those cool people who can say that their birthday and their death-day is the same day, dattebayo. Man, suddenly I’m super hungry. Let’s go! *runs ahead of him to the house*

Sasuke:

Sasuke: He goes from saying the sweetest thing imaginable to the dumbest shit possible. And the sad thing is I want to marry him more than anything.

[three-milkz]

I'm a firm believer that Naruto and Sakura share a brain cell, because best friends do that, so I can only imagine them whispering to each other while watching Obito and Kakashi's interactions.

S: They kind of have a lot of tension, don't you think?

N: Don't even say it, it's embarrassing, dattebayo.

S: I was always curious to know why Kakashi-sensei was single. Now I know why.

When Sakura and Obito look for Sasuke, I can't help but imagine them having a very serious conversation...

S: Is Kakashi-sensei very important to you? Because I noticed the way you looked at him.

O: Let's just say that Kakashi is one of the few reasons I had to go through with the plan.

S: So you wanted a perfect dream world for Kakashi-sensei because he's very important to you or...

Sakura narrows her eyes suspiciously. If Obito and Kakashi-sensei liked each other, she couldn't stop it, but she COULD have a say in it.

S: If you plan on making Kakashi-sensei happy, you can try to redeem your sins by going to prison and... I don't know, maybe marrying him. And if you hurt him again, I'll kill you.

[bandsandwristbands]

Gaara/Gaalee headcannons? 👉👈 (only if you want to)

*cracking my knuckles* DO I WANT TO?? BOY DO I! I am so glad you asked!! I have way too many I think lol

I won't put them in any particular order but I'll separate sfw and nsfw lol

Sfw hcs

Gaara is uncannily good at impressions- like so accurate it's off putting to see on his face. (I imagine this comes from him analysing the fuck out of Human Behavior™ in order to mask his crazy lol) His party trick is his Naruto impression. All of konoha 12 have seen it and cried laughing and it becomes an inside joke for ppl to whisper "dattebayo" in the most dead pan voice possible to make each other laugh at inappropriate times.

Gaara has a bunch of stuffed animals. Mostly gifts from his siblings and Lee as they're the only ones who've seen his bed just- fuckin buried in plushies- "I don't use it to sleep anyways." <-Gaara justifying the plush pile.

I've covered this pretty extensively (here) and lots of others have this one too but Gaara w/ piercings (I tend to include belly ring and tongue piercing a long with his ears)

Also sharp nails and canines BUT I also think Gaara's teeth are a little crooked, probably tearing stuff open with his teeth growing up and when transforming into his tailed beast form his teeth grow a bit too big for his mouth and so push around to make room. Also I think it'd be very cute ~

Especially when Lee and Gaara first get together- Gaara being starved for touch and affection will not realize he's getting overwhelmed by it until he's like "Actually I need to leave right now" and has to decompress by himself for awhile.

Alternatively, after nightmares or panic attacks- he likes Lee to lay on him like a heavy weighted blanket. He feels safe that way.

They both experience cute aggression for each other. When pining, Lee would just burst into random exercises looking *pissed* -"What's wrong with Lee?" -"He saw Gaara sneeze." -Gaara on the other hand will intentionally shoulder check Lee (not very affective, Lee doesn't clock it as aggressive) or use his sand to subtly tickle, trip, poke at and generally bother him (this does get a bit of a rise out of Lee which Gaara also thinks is cute)

Once together they will add new ways to express the cute aggression including but not limited to: Random biting, dipping the other dramatically, sneak attack bear hugs, not so gentle punches/slaps.

Gaara really likes that Lee isn't afraid to get angry at him or push back against the things he says. He does get genuinely pissed about it sometimes- they're both stubborn- but it's really comforting for him to be able to raise his voice or get visibly upset and not be met with fear.

Lee has crazyyyyy rejection sensitivity (adhd hc) He is bracing for it at all times. He masks it really well by kicking up the enthusiasm but at night he is Ruminating™ and it Sucks™

This will be really obvious in fic from me but I think Gaara's sand acts in reflection of his subconscious feelings and motives when he's not actively meaning to manipulate it. (I think the intent to protect from his mom is still there but I just think it's too weird for it to literally be her consciousness lol) I like treating it like a Disney princess companion- expressive, a little whimsical, and an extension of Gaara himself.

Falling asleep is extremely unsettling for Gaara- he's fine once he's asleep but the act of getting there activates his fight or flight often. Easier with Lee cuddles.

They're toxically obsessed with each other. So enamoured that if they were anyone else they would be creeped tf out~ but for them it's romantic ~

On that note- Gaara expresses his love by saying really gorey shit like "I want to wear your skin" or "I want you to rip my chest open and feel how my heart beats just for you" type shit- serial killer stuff that Lee cries and swoons over! Lee: "He's so romantic!!😭" Neji: "He just said he wants to gnaw on your bones????" Lee: "I know 🥹💕💕 he even loves my bones!!"

They are also always in each others lap or tangling their feet together, they are the infinite honey moon couple.

Oh, licking. Gaara gives little 'mlem' licks instead of kisses often. On Lee's cheek or lips or the back of his hand. He kisses too, the mlem is just instinctual.

Gaara licks the blood off of small cuts that Lee gets. Lee thinks it's extremely cute and eventually picks up the habit if Gaare ever gets a little knick as well. (Sakura rips into them about it but that won't stop them.)

Gaara spent an entire week of overnights studying massage therapy and ways to help relieve Lee's muscle aches and cramps, makes it a point to rub Lee down once a week at least.

He will not admit to Lee that it makes his wrists hurt.

Lee has chronic pain btw.

They both love spicy.

Gaara likes sweets but won't admit it.

Lee learns Sunan endearments and uses them on Gaara constantly and it makes Gaara turn to putty every time.

Nsfw ones !

They both love marking each other up and being marked- they're both extremely possessive and also very very into the idea of belonging to the other- neither of them ever thought anyone would want them for something beyond their abilities as weapons of war- Gaara especially likes feeling desired in a way that feels unmistakably human.

(Piggy backing off that last one, Gaara has Rock Lee [ロック・リー] tattooed on his inner lower lip before their even married because he is a little bit unhinged like that- he is self aware enough to keep it a secret for awhile but obviously Lee discovers it eventually- since I am in the Gaara Oral Fixation Fan Club- and after freaking out about "omg gaara that is permanent there's no way you actually want my name branded on you" Gaara's like that is definitely what the intention is- they both get horny about it)

Frottoge~ they hump each other like animals lol

Gaara is a tease (can you tell I want him to have more little shit tendencies) both cuz Lee's shock every time is amusing and also because Lee gets easily frustrated and will jump him later.

Fighting is foreplay. Gaara likes being crushed and choked- Lee likes to be clawed and bitten like a scratching post

Gaara is kinda gross 😏 (still having some jinchuriki senses) He gets easily worked up about Lee's bodily fluids- loves his sweat (will randomly lick him after workouts), demands Lee spit in his mouth, kind of a cumslut, goes feral over the smell and taste of Lee's blood.

They both love giving head. Gaara has a gag reflex- likes Lee activating it.

Gaara tends to bottom more because he likes the full feeling, like Lee is all around him and making him disappear, (and cockwarming because he doesn't like the empty feeling after, he enjoys the closeness on a visceral level)

Lee loves trying to overwhelm Gaara (in a good way) with Good Feelings and that means pleasure too, he's an attentive learner and does not let Gaara get away with just one nut- he's trying to make up for lost time.

And also he gets a power rush about getting to be the only one who gets to see Gaara in that context, Lee doesn't get trusted to be in charge of... Anything really. So having Gaara trust him with his body and his mind really gets to his uwus and his dick.

Lee has a small crisis when they start fooling around, worried about being disrespectful, - "Gaara I think I'm some sort of pervert!" -"I'm not exactly complaining about that 👁️👁️" - it takes a minute for him to let go of the idea that every sexual encounter has to be really romantic and loving- plus, similar to Lee getting angry with him- Gaara likes that Lee is a little disrespectful sometimes- it does take some coaxing for Lee to stop asking "are you sure I'm not being to mean??"

Lee has also learned dirty Sunan endearments and lovessss watching Gaara turn red in the face about it.

Gaara has a hard time getting out of his head so Lee takes it as a personal challenge to fuck Gaara mindless- it becomes a necessity after long swaths of stressful meetings and legislation, he knows he's succeeded when Gaara forgets Common and starts rambling in Sunan 👌

When Gaara does top, it's usually because he's feeling big emotions about Lee, sometimes premature grief that one day one of them will die, other times extreme gratitude that Lee even exists, he's still aggressive about it and honestly a little sloppy but Lee loves it, gets really flustered and bashful about all the affection. Growling, drooling top + giggly bottom.

Lee loves to be praised.

Gaara likes the combination of degradation and praise, especially if its condescending.

Oh when they first start fooling around or when Gaara's feeling Very Good his sand acts up, popping the cork, scrambling around, crawling up around Lee to hold him closer. He's worried it'll freak Lee out at first but it processes to Lee as positive feedback.

They find themselves fucking semi publicly way more frequently than they ever intend to- they just get caught up in each other very easily.

Alright alright I'll cut myself off here, I've been writing these up for over an hour and I need to shower lol

I hope my offering is acceptable! Thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble! Xoxoxoxo

[prettyboykatsuki]

honestly. to backtrack (ha ha) a lil, i would def use my period tracker better (catch me forgetting to log shit 24/7) if it had my blorbo in it. like. imagine being in a shitty mood and then u get a lil notif from your period tracker BUT it LOOKS like it’s from like. isagi. or zayne or bkg or WHOEVER and it says like. “hey babe, if you’re feeling like shit it’s because your period could start any day now hope this helps 👍” or smth idk if i’m getting my vision across but. that would slap so hard tf now i want that

NOOOO I COMPLETELY AGREE????

like its funny. it is. otome game ft period tracker is just genuinely objecitvely so funny. BUT. man if they made a bluelock period tracker? fuck it i would download it. it's like that one post. like if naruto gets you to bruth your teeth dattebayo or whatever.

like lads isnt my bluelock (since bluelock. is my bluelock dkjsd) but its SOMEONES. like thats someones tried and true blorbo. i cannot blame them for putting their period tracker in that bc i would do the same for isagi. if mr yoichi was like heyyy you'e about to start cramping make sure u drink water i'd be like. ykw. hell yeah i will pookie. thank you☝🏽

[plaguery]

the homework my therapist gave me was figuring out something i could do to start making my conscious thoughts match what my subconsious is ready to positively believe about myself and i remembered that one post thats like "if thinking that naruto would be proud of you will help you brush your teeth then go for it and pick up that toothbrush dattebayo" as a silly but then i started thinking what if i imagined vergil sitting me down and going You Are Not The Problem You Are Part Of The Truth You Have Worth And Strength and unfortunately im not going to lie i think that might work. theres my motivation i guess

[yellowocaballero]

OBITO YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A TEAM IT'S JUST SAKURA WITH YOU WHY ARE YOU EVEN SPOUTING THE "DON'T ABANDON YOUR TEAMMATES" PHRASE AROUND HER ALL THE TIME LMAOOOOO

Fantastic question. In what context did that phrase even come up. It's entirely possible that Obito just has a chronic case of being a Naruto character and cannot physically stop himself from spouting ridiculous slogans nonstop. What is a Naruto character without their slogans, mottos, creeds, etc, etc.

An actual answer: I imagine he said it in context of talking about Sakuragakure as a whole and her obligations to helping the poor, downtrodden, etc. I also imagine that he did a lot of monologing during their time on the road on what a ninja should be, the morals and ethics a human being should have, and what level of murder was okay, and that slogan would have come up a lot. Remember that the science experiment was 'can i create a little angel who will do only good on this world', so I think he found the need to incorporate a lot of weird ethics lessons in there. Doubtlessly Sakura remembers them all as very confusing and weird ethics lessons. But they were ethics lessons!

Equally doubtlessly, ethics doesn't exist in Naruto at this point in time. Obito stole the concept from 20 years from now, when Naruto officially introduces the concepts of ethics to the ninja world. Dattebayo.

[strawberrystepmom]

hi kendy, happy gojo day!! I have a question, how do you make yourself feel so hot and desirable? I wanna work on that but it's hard and you make it look so easy 😭 have a wonderful day!

hi baby!!!!! thank you for the wishes, he ate them up bc ofc he did <3

thank you for saying that bc it’s so sweet but I will be so honest with you and say that it isn’t as easy as it seems. i hated myself for a very very very long time and had to start from nothing to figure out who i am and how i want to feel about myself.

I don’t want to soap box so ill make this a brief aside but like so much of life is deciding how you feel about yourself with the absence of outside influence. No societal standards, no unspoken codes and rules.

Okay aside over but the biggest piece of advice I have is to believe it. believe wholeheartedly and unshakably that you are worthy of desire and of love and of all the good things that are yet to come to you. every day you have to wake up and make a commitment to yourself to love you as much as possible. how that looks day to day may change but as long as you’re putting in 100% of what you have to spare? so be it. you’re doing your best.

there’s also an aspect of self love that comes with understanding your own sexuality and sex appeal i feel. you are your own best tool, be it your smile or your laugh or your wise eyes or your loving hands, and being able to wield yourself matters. know your strengths! play to them! my strength is making people laugh so yk what I do? make them laugh. nothing makes me feel more desirable than when i’m being myself and being appreciated for it!

we are our own worst enemies sometimes so changing the way you view yourself has to start from like the tiniest place. for a long time I imagined little kendy overhearing all the bad shit I was saying about myself and couldn’t bear to keep thinking it in front of her. then I thought about someone else I loved hearing it and them stopping me as well. like realizing that you have to love you the way they love you and want what’s best for you opens up doors of goodness

but yeah!!!! I know Dattebayo isn’t good advice but it’s true. you have to believe in yourself so hard it doesn’t matter if someone else doesn’t

[frankencanon]

You know how Kishimoto revealed that Kakashi was originally going to speak like a Samurai, ending sentences with the verbal tic "de gozaru" much like Naruto does with "dattebayo" and Deidara with "un"?

Right, well I had an idea:

What if it was a Hatake thing that Kakashi had picked up from his father, a remnant of when the Hatake were a Samurai Clan?

And what if, as one of only two living Hatake, the verbal tic was strongly associated with Hatake Sakumo, the White Fang, in particular? At least amongst Konoha nin.

And what if Kakashi intentionally made an effort to drop it in the wake of his father's suicide in order to further distance himself from him? Much like the headcanon about Kakashi refusing to ever let people see him without his mask to hide how much he looks like Sakumo.

More fun ideas:

1.

What if it slips out when he's drunk? Can you imagine? Most people's speech gets more casual or coarse when drunk, but Kakashi? No, Kakashi gets alarmingly formal. It freaks people out and confuses the hell out of them at the same time.

(No, but seriously, imagine it: you and your coworkers go out for drinks, and one of them—the really lazy, laid-back one who is always way too inappropriately casual, borderline insubordinate—slowly starts slipping into Ye Olde English, saying things like "thou art" and "aye" and ending verbs in -eth.)

2.

After Kannabi Bridge (after Obito knocks some sense into Kakashi, and after Kakashi stops trying so hard to be so different from his father) he tries to pick it back up again, but it's been so long that it's annoyingly difficult and winds up taking a long, long time for Kakashi to be able to use it casually again without having to think about it beforehand.

3.

Kakashi spent so long repeatedly forcing himself to say it again in an effort to pick it back up that when he's disguised as Sukea it just sort of...slips out. Whoops? Accidental face reveal? Let's just hope there weren't too many people around to hear him say it, since everyone knows there's only one person in all of Konoha who ends their sentences with -de gozaru.

[tallsuperstar]

I cannot stress this enough that the tumblr post abt how if imagining naruto would be proud of you makes you get the thing done then do it completely changed me on everything, but not in the way OP of that post intended.

Because instead of doing what that post suggests, "grab that toothbrush dattebayo" is just part of my lexicon now. Amd it's a phrase that basically just means to keep going ajrhwhehe.

Like for example, if I'm on my break during a bad shift at work where I'm on tbe verge of insanity and want to commit actions upon myself, saying "grab that toothbrush dattebayo" actually helps me force through amd get myself to clock back into work instead of choosing to leave and never come back ever. You just gotta do the thing. Dattebayo.

I don't know what dattebayo means I'm ngl.

[xxkylarthelonerxx]

Do u have any favourite games or manga :?

this is going to be a long post... i don't even think anyone will care to read it, but whatever... i don't care.

games -

i've been getting into osu! recently again. maybe i'll post some of my scores here. i think i'm pretty good.

overwatch, fortnite, etc have been fun on and off, but i can never get that invested. i don't really like playing with people online anyway, it just reminds me how much everyone sucks in general.

i like rpgs and stuff because i can show off my achievements to my darling easily in those usually. final fantasy, persona, whatever. visual novels are fun too, but i've gotten more picky with those lately...

and i like to practice games that couples usually play, like minecraft and stardew valley, just so that i can impress my darling with my skills once they do come live with me!

also any h-game where u can customize the characters are great. for obvious reasons... who wouldn't want to get off to their darling instead of some randos?? i've had fun with ai shoujo and honeyselect, but even with how much customization there is in those two, it's not like the character ends up looking that much like them... but even a semblence of similarity is better than nothing, though!

i guess i would try any game once though. let me know if anyone has any suggestions of things to play.

manga -

listing all of my favorites would take a while. i've been into manga for a long time, it's basically all i read.

i mean, i've liked naruto since i was a kid, the characters are so cool. dattebayo!! i think i would be part of the uchiha clan if i isekai'd into that world.

death note is one of my favorites too! i tried making my own death note a while back but it didn't work (not sure why), so i just use it as a sketchbook now. maybe i'll try again later. what i wouldn't give for a real one though...

uhh... i love anything with male yanderes that i can relate to also, or at least stalkers/slashers. tonari no seki no hen na senpai is fun to space out to and imagine myself in the guy's place, just as long as i can imagine the protag as my love, of course. that could be us if we worked in an office together... though i don't really get why the protagonist was so scared of that guy? obviously that would be different in our case...

i'll also always pick up any random romance manga if it has a love interest or protag that looks like my darling. it's nice since i can just imagine myself as any black-haired anime protag. and then i can daydream about doing fun things with my love!!

kind of related too. my pfp is from killer in love, which i picked up just because i thought i could relate to this character after seeing him around, but for some reason he ended up being like an antagonist? that was a really random choice... i wish i could rewrite it to make him get with the protagonist, i really don't know why they made him out to be so weird... so i guess i don't recommend that one. but it's just an example.

... oh yeah, and tokyo ghoul is another long-term favorite of mine. so cool.

honestly i need to make a myanimelist account at some point so you all can see how much i've read/watched, cause i'm sure it's way more than most of you.

...but that's it for this post. bye.

[ladykissingfish]

Kakashi: Gai? I have a question.

Gai: Yes?

Kakashi: What is it called when you don’t want to punch anyone? Like, if I’m sitting in one spot and it’s not too hot and not too cold and I have good food in my stomach and everything went right today? What’s that called?

Gai: … Are you saying you’re happy?

Kakashi: Huh; is THAT what happiness feels like? I’ve read about it so many times but never imagined I’d experience it for myself. What do I do now?

Gai: You relax and enjoy it, rival!

Kakashi: … Relax?

Gai: Yes.

Kakashi: And … and enjoy being happy?

Gai: That’s the idea!

Kakashi:

Kakashi, sweating: This is terrifying. Please do something.

Gai: Kakashi, what do you —

*Naruto comes running up*

Naruto: Oi, Sensei! I … kinda did something you might get mad about, dattebayo. Sakura said I should confess before —

Kakashi: *lets out a sigh of relief and embraces Naruto* Oh thank Kami.

Naruto: But … but I haven’t even told you what I did?

Kakashi: Doesn’t matter. Good boy, Naruto!

Naruto:

Gai:

[naru-uzumaki]

❛ you really haven’t changed, have you? ❜ // Imagine Hitsugaya dropping into Konoha after years had passed and he meets Adult Naruto for the first time. He'd be like Damn! You got old ... but you haven't changed B')

@ryusxnka // random sentence things.

OF COURSE HE HAD CHANGED --- he stood with his chest high at the comment, facing his old friend. He was even ( taller ) now! ❝ I bet'cha I could still beat you at eating ramen dattebayo! ❞

[silverserpent]

Guys there is a post about how pretending to be pikmin can and does make your executives stop dysfunctioning

and then one of the reblogs says something like "if you wash your teeth because naruto would be proud of you for it then grab that toothbrush dattebayo"

I can't find it but it happened to me too: I get way more motivated to do my class on the network-y stuff that's quite monotone and very confusing if I imagine fuckin. Yellow. the stick figure from Alan Becker's animations. running around on my screen.

They would happy flap at the thing I'm studying and I can't NOT match their energy at least a little bit!!