#even well into my teen years
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I think the thing about it for me is that transmascs have the fundamental right to tell you what our experiences with misogyny and male privilege are, not the other way around.
You don't know what we go through unless we tell you. I don't know what other transmascs go through unless they tell me. Cis women, other trans people, even people with the exact same identities, the exact same life trajectories- none of us know what another person is experiencing or has experienced, let alone how they have interpreted and internalized those experiences, unless they tell us. Even then, we will only ever have access to an imperfect version of that true experience filtered through several layers of language and our own perception & biases.
Does this clash with what feminism says about men's experiences? Yes, absolutely! A lot of (generally mainstream) feminism believes that women Know what men experience better than they themselves do, colored as those experiences are by bias and privilege. And this is a fundamentally isolating, egotistical belief. It cuts us off from each other, it prevents us from connecting, and it shuts down meaningful conversation before it can happen. It says women are pure and perfect, and men are sullied by privilege; that anyone touched by privilege cannot be trusted, and should not trust themselves.
When cis men say they've never experienced privilege, the answer should not be, "you don't know that," it should be vulnerability & curiosity. Why do you think that? I find that hard to believe for these reasons, but I want to know more. I want to co-create understanding with you. Are you curious about me, too? Will you offer me this same kindness? (And if not, they're probably not worth your energy!)
And y'know what, maybe they haven't actually experienced the things you think they have! Maybe the framework you are using is imperfect- maybe it works on a systems analysis level, but it doesn't apply universally. Particularly when we're talking about marginalized men!
This idea that experiencing privilege means you cannot be trusted, ever, to understand that privilege or to know when you have or haven't experienced it? It's so fucking dangerous. Case in point: transfems should be able to talk about the ways in which they might have experienced male privilege without it immediately discrediting everything else they have to say, up to and including about their own identities.
We cannot operate like this. A framework that denies people's self-knowledge will never be capable of liberating anyone.
So yes, actually, some transmascs may experience conditional male privilege at times. But will you, do you believe transmascs when we tell you that we don't?
#for me personally#as a transmasc#i have never been treated like a “girl” in my entire life#i don't even know how to explain it i've just never been a girl. i've never experienced “girlhood” or the misogyny that comes with it#i barely even experienced femininity while i thought i was cis because i didn't have that much of an interest or i wasn't “allowed” to#(and i mean “allowed” in a way that's super trivial like i couldn't paint my nails and shit as a kid)#i didn't have any long-term female friends#i was never allowed to wear makeup or paint my nails like i said#even well into my teen years#so i couldn't experience femininity in that way as the girls around me were doing it#i was never told i couldn't do or be something because i was a girl#even the weird shit like i was never objectified or hit on or had people be weird about me because i was also just not well liked#up until my junior year of high school and by that time i was intentionally presenting as trans lol#i have just never been treated like a girl#i was just treated the exact same as my younger brothers#which i think has a lot to do with the fact that i'm trans. i was just one of three little kids and the boys were like#barely two years younger than me so my parents just raised the three of us as a unit#didn't really bother considering the difference in the gender in parenting us#and that truly is my “male privilege” bc i was treated with the same grace and discipline both that were offered to my brothers#I don't get what most people think of as male privilege but i piggybacked off of what i grew up next to#for as long as i can remember i've just been treated like this weird genderless thing#and in the end that became what i am#so i don't even consider myself qualified to speak on misogyny or sexism or anything that other people who were socialized or present as#women have to deal with#because i have just never been a Girl to the people close to me. i'm just Nans.#i've always been weird#my hair's been cut above my ears since i was 13#and to me being trans is just an inherent part of who i am because even while i didn't conciously realize it until i was sixteen#I've just never been#A Girl
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wanted: marine hunter takanome mihawk
#shanks: oh i want him alright#dracule mihawk#takanome mihawk#one piece#one piece fanart#op fanart#i accidentally went way extra on this than i intended to 💀 i got bored waiting for my brother + my phone was charging#it was just supposed to be a b&w sketch with his eyes yellow or red but it got out of hand when i was like 'maybe i'll do skin for funsies'#ah well. im really starting to get into painting with this one brush. one day i'll merge it with the style i use more#cuz rn i tend to break out the painting only when i wamt smth a liiiiittle👌 more realistic.#i stress that 'little' bc calling my style 'realistic' in any sort of way feels inaccurate lol#i digress#i love imagining marine hunter mihawk being some teenage punk between the ages of 17 and 23#idk when he became a warlord but if he had this epithet even before roger's death that would put him in mid-to-late teens#since at roger's execution he was 19 amd already had yoru#so it's kinda funny to imagine the marines being hunted by some teenager with dramatic sideburns and an even more dramatic sword#last post of the year! :)#i had no chill this month. pls dont expect anything on my blog again till march lol.#(im half-serious; im going on vacation for all of february and i have some prior pieces i need to focus on in jan haha. we'll see tho!)
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I’m gonna be honest I didn’t realize the new 52 messed with Kon that much till I read your post and now I can’t get over the potential. I’m a Tim/Kon girly at heart so I would devour anything you write exploring the 52 vs typical Kon. Also Time being in a clone sandwich is 👌.
the new-52 messed Kon up SO bad it's ridiculous. like, to the point i would personally argue he's a completely unrelated character to pre-Flashpoint/Rebirth Kon. his personality, his suit, his origin, all different. the only real similarities are the name and powerset. and even New-52!Kon's powers are slightly different from pre-Flashpoint!Kon. New-52!Kon is a clone of a future version of Jon Lane Kent, cloned by N.O.W.H.E.R.E. to provide genetic material to Jon Lane Kent, whose body was not handling being half human/half Kryptonian well, it was a whole thing. New-52!Kon is also where we get the infamous "Kon-El means 'abomination of the house of El' and Kara basically named him a slur in Kryptonian culture" tidbit, because that is the only time that's canon. (originally Kon-El was a name gifted by Clark to accept Kon as his family way back in the 90s) he also never went by Conner Kent. New-52!Kon just straight up didn't have any real human identity or connections, outside of being very close to Tim and some Titans.
the very TLDR of Kon's history is: during post-Crisis/pre-Flashpoint, a clone called Superboy is created by CADMUS. at first, he's considered to be a clone of a dude named Paul Westfield and is not Kryptonian whatsoever, he was simply made to look like Superman and only has Tactile Telekinesis as a power. then, it was made canon that actually he was a clone of Lex Luthor and Clark Kent, but Lex hid this fact and slowly, Kon developed more Kryptonian powers. he's given the name Kon-El by Clark, and is taken in by the Kents, getting the name Conner Kent. then Flashpoint happens, we get the New-52, and we're given the above version of Kon-El, who is a clone of Jon Lane Kent, created by N.O.W.H.E.R.E. who has mostly very strong telekinesis powers and some Kryptonian powers. he's with the Titans for a bit, then at the end of the New-52, he kills some aliens and feels bad about it so he decides to fuck off and is never seen again, it's presumed he's dead but never confirmed. then Rebirth happens and DC makes Jon Kent the current Superboy, we get Supersons and all that, and it's assumed that no version of Kon-El exists. just at all. he's not around whatsoever, Jon is our only Superboy. *but* in 2019, we get a new Young Justice run and the pre-Flashpoint Kon-El is back, and we're given the explanation of: Kon got accidentally teleported to this alternate realm called Gemworld and then Flashpoint happened, and since that was a Crisis Event that changed the timeline, the poor lad got *erased* from the timeline, causing most people to *not fucking remember him* and for him to remember a timeline that no longer exists. some of the Young Justice team vaguely remember him, Ma and Pa Kent remember him, but notably, Clark *does not remember him*. it's not an issue of "Clark ignored Kon in favor of Jon" it's an issue of "Kon was erased from the timeline and didn't exist for years bc he was stuck in Gemworld and Clark just doesn't remember Kon or Kon's timeline" which to me, is far more tragic but i digress. since then, Kon has been back and is present in most significant Superfamily runs, with his own recent mini-series, Superboy: Man of Tomorrow. (which was very good btw)
so basically: the New-52 fucked Kon up so bad they wrote him out of comics for years and then brought back the pre-Flashpoint version, but never *explicitly* killed the New-52 version off. so hypothetically, it's possible that there are currently two characters existing in the DC universe named Kon-El who have been Superboy. and like i said above, one of New-52!Kon's only real significant relationships was with Tim, it was the only thing the New-52 managed to get right about Superboy, his closeness to Tim. they have a *lot* of moments that read incredibly queer. and ofc, it's just outright confirmed in Dark Crisis: Young Justice that Tim had a crush on pre-Flashpoint!Kon at some point. so while comics are intent on pretending New-52!Kon doesn't exist, i am intent on putting Tim in a clone sandwich.
because i do think it's fun to play with Tim having genuine feelings and potentially a relationship with both of them. and the fucked up nature of him not fully *remembering* his relationship with pre-Flashpoint!Kon (which is a canon thing, in YJ(2019) Tim has vague memories of Kon he's struggling to piece together and understand why he cares about this guy he doesn't recognize so much) and how frustrating that is for Tim. he knows he loves Kon, but it's all foggy besides that. and so it's even *more* fucked up if Tim dated New-52!Kon before he got emo and ran off into the unknown. obviously in canon no one has told current Kon about New-52!Kon bc comics are doing the good ol' tried and true of "sweep that shit under the rug" but for fanfic, i think it's fun to ask the question of: would anyone *tell* Kon? especially Tim? who now remembers dating both versions of them? would he admit to Kon that briefly, he had another Kon? how would Tim cope with that and move on? personality wise, they could not be more different. they dress and act and look different. they're not the same person, but there's certainly a questionable factor of Tim's dating history including two Kon-Els.
the idea i've had for a while is Tim slowly starting to date pre-Flashpoint!Kon again. it feels familiar and like home. and Tim has grieved and accepted that wherever New-52!Kon is, he doesn't want to come home, he didn't love TIm enough to stay and try. so Tim takes the Kon he has, and genuinely has a happy relationship. like for once, life is good and things almost make sense for Tim. but then, of course, New-52!Kon comes back. he decides he wants to try again and he finds Tim. only to find well. he's been replaced. and technically, he's been replaced with the *original* that he didn't even know *existed*. and if being a clone is bad enough, that just makes it a hundred times worse. because imagine knowing you're actually the second Kon-El your boyfriend who you never *technically* broke up with fell in love with. that's gotta give you some kind of complex.
so i think it's fun if both Kons try to step back and let the other Kon date Tim. both of them have reasons to feel like the "replacement" or "fake" Kon, and it makes them incredibly awkward with each other. do they count as the same person? bc they definitely don't *feel* like the same person to each other, but with weird timeline stuff, who can really say. them settling on an awkward throuple that's really meant to be Tim just dating them both but somehow they end up dating each other too is so fun for me. they both feel like imposters to the Superboy name but are so deeply in love with Tim Drake, it's the one thing truly connecting them. and then of course, Tim feels bad in that somehow, he's betraying both of them for having feelings for the other. but they make it work, with a lot of awkward angst and miscommunication. i just think it'd be fun. very difficult to write to get all the weird timeline nuances down in a way that's understandable in a fanfic (bc you can't just. infodump like i did on this post) but doable. also difficult to tag, because even though i argue these are two different characters, i'm pretty sure Ao3 groups them under the same character tag. so it'd be difficult to convey it's not *really* as selfcest-y as it would imply. comics, man. DC will never acknowledge New-52!Kon again, and he's admittedly a terrible adaptation of Kon-El, but. i think he was sort of neat in his own right and i'd *love* for DC to just inexplicably bring him back and make the current Kon deal with the consequences of all that. and them make Tim kiss them both. obviously.
#necrotic answerings#timkon#how do I tag this ship i'm so serious#kontimkon#I fucking *guess*?#also just plain Kon/Kon could be neat as well#I don't view it as selfcest. but like. I understand if ppl do#also if I got some details wrong i'm so sorry#I was tipsy writing this.#new-52!Kon you were a disaster child but come back from the war I miss you.#i'd need to reread the new-52 superboy and teen titans run to write this#just to be sure I've got a solid grasp on his character#pre-flashpoint!Kon I understand just fine he's my son I've read most of his content#new-52!Kon. eeeeeh. i've read it. years ago. and I'm not even sure if I actually read it all through or just bits and pieces#I hated him when he existed be like. he fucked up Kon so bad we fucking lost Kon for a couple years#but in hindsight. he had potential.#also if you want another bizarre fun fact about the new-52#Tim was never Robin in the new-52. he went straight to being Red Robin.#also his parents are alive and in witsec. do with that what you will.#weird times.#I guess new-52!Kon could've been erased by rebirth but I don't think he was?? bc characters have recalled his existence so?#hypothetically he *should* exist???#and if he doesn't#*oh well* I do what I want#DC you may not care about the implications of your retcons and reboots but I do. I do.#I want more fandom acknowledgement of Kon getting fucking erased from the timeline and no one remembering him#yes it's fun to make Clark a bad dad#but Kon was forgotten! by almost everyone! that's also fun!#young justice (2019) isn't the *best* comic ever but it's still solid! lots of good Kon whump I tell you.#he was fucking going *through* it that run I tell you. by God.
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idk it sounds reasonable to me for a teenager to run away bc they didn't want to eat their veggies!
one hopes that by the later stages of childhood a parent will have figured out which veggies and preparation styles work for the kid, and the kid will have resigned themself to what they do and don't have to eat according to their parents, and it's all settled into an equilibrium instead of a daily fight. and hopefully as a teen your palette is expanding and you're even willing to eat more veggies then you did as a child.
however, if the kid is extra picky and stubborn, and the parent is extra determined to make sure they eat a good variety (or just eat whatever the parent prepared no matter what it is), it could absolutely continue to be a regularly-repeated fight. and if something is a continued point of contention throughout childhood then it absolutely makes sense for a teen to go FUCK this, i am nearly an ADULT i am done being told to eat my veggies i am gonna prove my independence and make them realize i don't have to just sit there and let them boss me around!!
like, the childishness of the fight is exactly why a teen would run away about it.
#i'm so picky and only got pickier throughout my teen years#i usually just made myself a separate quick meal when i didn't like dinner#if my parents hadn't let me and had tried to insist i eat the same thing as everyone else?#well. idk what i woulda done bc that would require they have an entirely different parenting style overall.#so who knows what kind of person i would be lol#but leaving the house for a couple hours seems pretty reasonable to me#but it's also normal for a parent to have an 'everyone sits at the table and eats what i've prepared' rule#for a variety of reasons ranging from well-meaning to self-centered#and i'm sure there are parents who will even try to foist the same old veggie rules upon adult children visiting for the holiday#i think 'what's the latest age at which a veggie fight might occur' says more about the parents than the kid#since they're the one turning it into a fight instead of letting it go#so ig if you want them to be closer to model parents then sif would have to be pretty young#but i think 'the type of parent to never stop arguing about veggies' is an interesting flaw to add#to make a parent who is loving and wonderful overall but has their own blind spots and mixed up priorities#isat spoilers#isat#siffrin#I UNDERSTAND WHY people think sif must be young and i'm fine w that#this is just my perspective :)#thoughts about siffrin#thoughts
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"The land was lost; the world was lost as well... the world is upside down ... and there is no remedy in this kingdom." — Felipe Guaman Poma de Ayala, trans. David Frye
[⚬⚬⚬⚬⚬𐂂, requested by anonymous]
#em draws stuff#temeraire worldbuilding collection#oc time again hehe#⚬⚬⚬⚬⚬𐂂#look I am ALLOWED to quote guaman poma even though he is a hundred years later and a continent away due to. relevant.#we are briefly departing from the Purple Zone because the next of the purple suggestions in progress was. not the vibe at present.#however tune in again soon for the usually scheduled Purple Zone. which will contain vampire.#I think 5deer gets older-looking every time I draw him... opening up my first picture of him and. wow. a teen. a small lad. no horrors yet.#and here well the horrors have begun.#whoever requested this picked TWO really good palettes but I got really excited about the green one#because I could use cipacton as the background!#struggling with composition? Add Big Dragon. Hide The Part Where The Composition Ought To Be.
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been seeing too many posts insisting ford should call stan "lee" lately, i'm seconds away from writing the most jarring fic where dipper inexplicably calls mabel "belle" the entire time
#dipper is now called sone or something idk#anyway wishing folks appreciated the symbolism of their nicknames and how it's shaped around their identity as a twin.....#and how ford calling him stanley hits so much harder than anything else possibly could cos its a name he didnt use for 40 years#while constantly using different identities that entire time#and even after the truth is revealed everyone else he knows is just gonna stick to calling him stan#(other than bill and gideon of all people lmaoooo)#stan signing off his letter as 'stanley' still gets to me!!! it's important!!!!#but anyway let's analyse how the kid comic has them use 'stanley' and 'ford'#the teen scenes has them use only 'stan' and 'ford'#while the portal incident has them use 'stanley' and 'stanford'#current era has them just use a mix i'm pretty sure#also there's the whole thing about their dad referring to both of them as stan when they were growing up#that one hellman comic about the mystery twins birth still lives in my brain and defined the way i think about this#.....wait whaddya mean that comic is only 3 years old#anyway don't mind me cackling as tbob has stan call ford 'sixer' more#despite some folks insisting that the nickname is ruined forever#'am i too passionate about this one topic' i ponder despite writing like 7k of fic about this one thing#.....one of said lee posts using my fic summary was. a bit odd. but oh well
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Haunted // Love Affair With A House 🏡💌
#digital art#artists on tumblr#illustrators on tumblr#original character#original illustration#sasha's art#this one took much longer than i expected it to because well. thats how things go sometimes#there was a time in my life when i was going through years of abuse and felt like i had no way out of that#this led me to become uncaring and reckless and i was very impulsive at the time#there was this big old abandoned hospital in my home town that was not that far from my parents house#by this point in life i felt like i had lost all relationships with people previously close to me and i was not making any new ones out of-#-fear but also because i was isolationg myself (unknowingly)#because i was a child i percieved exploring this building as doing something Unsafe and Dangerous (and i guess it was in the sense that-#-things could fall on me if i wasn't careful)#but anyway i decided going there was going to be my Safe Place#as abandon buildings seem to be so seductive to teenagers it turned out this place was already a popular hang out spot for many teens#so i decided my best course of action would be to sneak out of my room at night/ dawn and go do art at this place when it was safe from-#-other teens lmao#it made me feel Edgy and Cool and Dangerous (even though looking back this was one of the safest activities i was engaging in lmao)#anyways#i replaced all my close human relationships with an abandoned house at the time (maybe theres a metaphor in there somewhere but. i do not-#(-want to see it)#at the time the thing i wanted the most in the world was to die and this was the place it was supposed to happen#luckily i made a deal with myself for ten more years and this ended up saving my life#so i have many mixed emotions about this place. it was there for me when i was at my lowest and loneliest. it was supposed to be my last#a few years ago i took my two best friends there (hadn't told them this story then yet) and i had a wonderful day and felt Loved#it was a weird feeling to feel there#i decided not to take them into the house and i don't think i will ever go in again#but i am glad i had it back when i needed it i guess#i wonder if theres still any of my old art supplies hidden about somewhere
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happy 1 year anniversary to the election results that were so fucked they had me trying to take my mind off of things by watching what seemed like a toxic chinese queerbait show only to find something far more thoughtful and genuinely queer and interesting than expected and end up watching a bunch more unrelated things that are talked about in vaguely the same realms of the internet and then watch bad buddy twice in a row and fall into an endless bingewatch of thai media (some of which is mediocre, some of which is bad, much of which is simply pretty good, and some of which is genuinely incredible) and go, well, it would be a waste of all this language input i'm accidentally giving myself right now if i didn't at least learn a few words. thus accidentally locking myself into watching even more thai media because now i gain serotonin from hearing a sentence i know i could write
#this is about the dutch general elections of 2023. i know another election is probably still on most people's minds#it feels WILD that it's only been a year. and at the same time. the government they eventually formed based on those votes#is still hanging in there. and it feels like THAT's been going on for way longer than a year#*#ah well in happier news! i think it's the way part of me is forever roaming the internet in 2011#but even when a BL (or GL! which is finally picking up!) series is bad. or just boring.#there is something in me that can't help but go !! oh my god? there's a hundred of these out there??#and we can argue definitions and representation and fetishization. but there are So Many queer people working on them these days#and not all but many of these stories are insightful and kind and clever and have a very queer beating heart inside of them#(and there's also something to be said for queer trash tv. that has a place! but i won't get into it)#and this is really truly only a thing of the past few years!!! this did not exist when i was a teen!!!#i'm still so young but i'm EASILY old enough to remember that. and now All Of That is just out there. often on youtube for free#if you are a teen TODAY you don't need to pick between settling for watching tara die on btvs. watching ianto die on torchwood#or watching queer as folk. which is not a knock on qaf but it's not necessarily tv for teens#instead there's like. dozens of queer people on modern western tv! there are ever more queer movies where nobody dies!#and there's just a goddamn fucking impossible-to-watch-in-one-lifetime amount of guaranteed happy end BL series out there#and it's insane!!! that is insane to me!!!#and is also maybe a good thing to remember in current times. things can and do change for the better#sometimes in ways you might not expect. sometimes you might not even know it's happening. but it does
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I finished reading a manga I haven't read in 13 years called Silver Diamond ... honestly it was fantastic read for a 2003 manga..
have my mans Senroh Chigusa 💕
#my art#Silver Diamond#SILVER DIAMOND#S◇#senroh chigusa#chigusa senroh#sawa rakan#rakan sawa#I picked up the manga (volume 1 only) at my now destroyed public library back in middle school around 2010-2011#I was a lil teen who picked up anything that had hot guys with them (senroh did this to me)#I often thought about the series every once in a while with the random ass manga I'd also read that wasn't mainstream#I only started reading it a few days ago because discord mudae bot showed off Touji from Silver Diamond#I did and lemme tell y'all it's a hidden gem (haha) of a damn supernatural/adventure manga mixed in with some BL#The BL isn't even that prominent but it builds a foundation for Rakan (protag) and Chigusa that pays off so well.#I'm rambling but this manga is so good even the story was consistent and connected everything so smoothly i was genuinely impressed#besides even 13 years later.. even at the age of 13 (then) and 26 (now) Chigusa is still my hottie husband (cringe) 💔#ENOUGH RAMBLING SHIA KAZING *CLAPS MY HANDS AND I FUCKING EXPLODE* 💥
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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We need ''he would not fucking say that'' but for 3rd person narrative choices that break the POV: He would not fucking describe things like that.
#weird thing of the dialogue being alright but the entire narration giving 'kicking my feet twirling my hair in a discord server'#I'm usually so generous with blorbo interpretations I love to see what everyone else can glean from the canon even if it's different take#but I do draw the line at characters narrating their lives like goofy american teens - tone wrong! words wrong! who even is that guy?!?#from a good fic author as well... damn#where are your years of study at blorbo academy#did you ace your classes for the other blorbos from the same show and figure you could sleep through class for the others lmao#experiencing a deep and profound and completely non-serious betrayal rn fhdsjkhfn
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I will never forgive the people who went after teenagers for going by Arson. It's a genuinely cool name fuck you, just admit you're allergic to teens having fun with self expression (or teens having fun at all) and stop trying to make it a morality issue
#'it's a crime!!! you can't name yourself after a crime!!!' me and my homies tax evasion and vehicular manslaughter laughing so hard rn/j#you have to be a massive snowflake if you piss yourself over someone's name bro#and I'm not even fond of calling people snowflakes but when someone's self expression upsets you that much it's just... come on man#I never once looked at the tiktok teens with their edgy appearances named Arson and thought 'oh my god they wanna be quirky so bad'#or 'I'm gonna scream at this literal child because I think they're cringe'#says a lot more about the person going after a self expressing teenager than the 15 year old named Arson tbh#even if the bully is a teenager themself#also the Arson bunnyhat kids were cool as hell. they inspired me to experiment more with my own fashion as a teen#never forgive and never forget how people went after tiktok alternative kids just because it was a 'trend'#emo and scene were 'trendy' at one point. does that discredit THAT alt subculture as well? fuck no#transgender#self expression#alternative
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#tw vent#ah yes logging back into tumblr to yeet this and then going#i will persevere i will persevere i will persevere i will persevere#i've never felt this much like an alien in my entire fucking life and that's saying something from someone who was excluded in primary#school and has been since (regularly called devil spawn as well isn't it lovely)#i'm sick and tired of this#i never planned to make it past 18 but i did it regardless out of sheer fucking spite and will and wanting it to get better#and here i am six years later and just as miserable#except this time i won't have to spend weeks discreetly hoarding a stash because i never threw it out#and i know that's not the thing to do and that i should continue to press on and all that and believe it will get better but like#at this point i'm not sure if; even if things do get better that i'll even be in a position to appreciate it?#i feel fucking broken and i have been so utterly numb for most of my life#i don't know how to make friends and even less about how to keep them#i've spent my entire life trying to fit in and getting mocked and bullied for being weird#i adapt personality traits of everyone around me for the sake of never risking upsetting anyone or putting myself at chance of ridicule#i don't even know who i am at this point- i don't think i've ever known myself because by the time i became a teen#i was already hurting myself just so i could get some of my frustration out without making a scene or trouble anyone#it took six years for anyone to notice; six fucking years and even then all i was met with was anger#i hate being excluded and i hate being left out and people keep doing it and i keep doing it to myself#because i don't want to be here anymore but i don't want to hurt anyone so i remove myself from social relations so no one will miss me#i feel so fucking alone and it's all my own fault and i'm so scared to do anything about it#how can anyone want to spend time with someone who doesn't even know themselves? i'm a mess i'm sorry i needed to process my thoughts#but i guess i'll persevere#my cat needs me to#tw suicidal ideation#tw self harm
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Oh he is So baby (Patreon)
#Doodles#Helix#SCII#Max Vyer#Teen Max ;; *gently holds*#Like I didn't love him already his teen phase was This Cute??? Stoppp#I am once again relating way too hard to Max lol - it looks? like he's wearing dark eyeliner to me#There's no way he actually has eye bags that dark as a 16 year old right am I just protecting my feelings towards wanting him to be okay :'D#He started drinking before he was 21 but when did he start some of the harder stuff - was him getting on the roof a teen or drug thing#Worried about you Max#Well anyway I choose to believe it's eyeliner lol <3 Which is extremely cute <3#There's something so double-funny to me about having drawn him all cutesy as a baby y'know - cherubic! Adorable blond baby!#And then his emo/grunge/punk phase as a teen but he keeps his blond hair because of his vanity hehehehe I love him!!! So much!!#He's so adorable <3#Anyway yeah I had a dark eyeliner phase as a teen also lol except mine was Classique Fandom Cringe™ ♥#I'd draw the YGO Eye of Ra with my eye acting as the main part of the eye lol teens are goofy like that#Very measured of him to just darken his lower lid really ♪#The collar and the cuffs too I just jdksfladf I can't think of it as anything but extremely cute lol I'm so endeared <3 <3#He's such a brat I love him so much#I talked about how his parents would've still been awful even if he had A Diagnosis but honestly he probably would've been too <3#Not a get-out-of-jail-free card Max!#I - a Max apologist - say lol
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just wanted to let you know that your art changed something in my brain chemistry. i love how you design the bad kids, especially riz. it makes me love him even more 😭😭
thank u! fantasy high as a series banks a lot on heightening and exaggerations, and trying to work with that general sensibility while translating the designs into something I have fun drawing has been nice to do :]
#not art#its kinda funny to approach fh with like. a bg of shounen/gag manga? wild how much genres can differ when targeting the same demographic#tho I havent read shounen in a While lmao. the last series I picked up was uhhh tetsugaku letra#its very Gender even though I dont think it? aimed to be? it talks a Lot abt performance and failing social expectations#and I think if you wanna talk about stuff like that you kinda eventually stumble into Gender Stuff#well. to be fair the main character literally picks up and chooses to dance with a pair of women's flamenco shoes#so maybe I was just being pessimistic abt the series not aiming to talk abt transgenderism lmao#anyways I did also pick that up and then realized as I read it that wow. I have Fully outgrown this genre#which is fair bc I'm almost a decade out from being a teen. I have the privilege to grow up and get a bird eyes view of childhood#but yeah. its kinda fun to see how teen movie archetypes and shounen archetypes differ so much#and finding the thread of connection between all that#but very specifically abt riz. listen. listen I was a meitantei conan acolyte for Years (am now a hater lmao)#I have an unfortunate affinity for detectives. riz gukgak is a bullet with my name on it. laser targeted#and also this season he gets a pair of glasses which is one of the only objects I can fully draw from memory. u can probably notice#from how I draw them lmao#I think I have a sketch of his previous looks somewhere in here... I gotta look for that
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Today's events and the past few months of bullshit have made me feel so rejected from my local LGBTQ community.
#tried to write about it in my last 2 posts but it's hardly a short story :/#i'm so lonely#my hormones are fucked up and i feel like shit#going on t cannot come soon enough i can tell you#i think i'm perimenopausal :'(#i spent today with the LGBTQ youth group's stand at the park thing#because my name is mud with the organisers of the main group now#this youth group is not super young it goes up to 25 i think#but i'm WELL over 25 and omg i felt so fucking old#and it doesn't help that the main group barely has any transmasc people but this youth group it seems like it's fucking everyone#i just spent the whole time about to cry because i feel like i wasted my entire fucking 20s#being around people who came out in their teens fucks with my head#they have their whole lives ahead of them now#god sometimes i feel like when i came out as trans a door opened up somewhere and now i'm freer#and it hurts so fucking much that i couldn't have gotten there sooner#when i was in the main LGBTQ group i was around people who came out as trans in their 50s and 60s#so i neve felt old there i felt young#but now I can't go back there ever :(#i think there's 2 ages- your actual age and your number of years post coming out/transition#i haven't even started physical transition#i'm so jealous i feel sick i hate myself#i hate the other group for rejecting me
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