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javier-pena · 5 months ago

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Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Word Count: 5k (so much for short drabble)

Rating: Mature

Summary: You work for the DEA in Colombia. Until one of your missions goes terribly wrong.

Notes: This is the first fic for my 10k follower celebration!!! Thank you, @lokischocolatefountain who requested “I’ll be here when you wake up” with Javier Peña. I hope you like it 🤭 This fic was very much inspired by Gabriel García Márquez' "Noticia de un secuestro" ("News of a Kidnapping") which I highly recommend if you're interested in what Narcos (Season 1) only covers in two episodes, namely the kidnappings of prominent figures in Colombia by the Medellín Cartel in the early 90s. As ever, huge thanks to Dani @alexturner who took the time to ask, "What does this mean?" and made me realize that I, in fact, don't know the answer to that question.

***

It’s night again. Or maybe it’s dawn. You don’t know. The blacked-out windows don’t let in any light. Your days are no longer structured according to the laws of nature (morning – midday – afternoon – evening – night), but according to the laws of your captors (wake up – bathroom – food – nothing – food – sleep). Maybe you’re awake all night and sleep all day. Maybe you only sleep for four hours and are awake for twenty. Neither your mind nor your body can tell the difference any longer.

Right now, for example, you’re in the “nothing” part of your day. It’s just you, rolled up on your mattress in your corner, and your thoughts, looping and looping, making you relive how you ended up here, in this room, somewhere in Colombia. And every single day, right at the end of “nothing” and the start of “food”, you come to the same conclusion: It’s all your fault.

It started with your childhood, you think. No, you can’t blame everything that went wrong in your life on your father, but he certainly did his bid – no matter what you did, it was never enough. Not even when you applied for a transfer to the embassy and you got selected, the youngest woman in DEA history who got an assignment like that. All he had to say to you was, “Huh”. So of course, you had to do better than that.

Here, in Colombia, you found yourself surrounded by men just like your father, old men in suits who sneered at you, confusing you with a secretary, asking you to make coffee and take notes. Old men with guns and enough war stories to fill a book, calling you “little lady” and pinching your cheeks. Old men that were just there, leering at you from corners and doorways. And they all had the face of your father.

Still, no one forced you to raise your hand that Thursday afternoon your floor ran out of coffee, the same afternoon Noonan called you all to a meeting and asked for a volunteer. “Dangerous assignment,” she said, “likely to get you killed.” You should have listened to her. But the looks on all those faces when you raised your hand and said, “I’d be happy to do it,” were worth it. Almost. Because, ultimately, it was the beginning of the end.

One of the men on guard duty today swears loudly and another one growls at him to be quiet. Sometimes they forget there’s a life outside those blacked-out windows and they’re not the only people in this city. You forget that too, but then you hear the voices of people living their lives, the sound of a car backfiring, a dog barking somewhere. If one of you makes the wrong noise, surely, you’ll be discovered.

The three men with you today (tonight?) know that, and so do you. They’re playing cards by the light of a dirty kerosene lamp, sitting so closely together their knees are touching. If they stretched out their legs, their feet would be touching your mattress. The room you’re in is barely big enough for one person, let alone for four. It’s the only room you’ve seen in months, apart from the bathroom they take you to once or twice a day. It’s across a small hallway you haven’t seen because they blindfold you. Every time, for every trip.

You can barely remember a time when not everything you needed to survive was dependent on another person. The autonomy you prided yourself on, your ability to achieve everything on your own, to survive everything on your own, those have been taken away from you. Could you even use the bathroom if no one gave you permission first? You doubt it.

You didn’t need anyone’s permission to go on that undercover mission that ultimately landed you in this tiny square room that is now your entire world. You were the fastest to volunteer, you fit the profile they were looking for: fluent in Spanish, low level enough to not be able to spill any secrets should you get arrested, pretty. It was supposed to be so easy. Infiltrate the Medellín cartel, gather intel, report back. There was even a plan in place to extract you should anything go wrong. And go wrong it did, and nothing was there to break your fall.

Before that, before you watched boys play cards all day, before your only window to the outside world was a small TV, there was one person who tried to get you to back down. You thought he didn’t think you capable of anything because you’re young, inexperienced and a woman, but in hindsight you should have listened to him. It doesn’t matter that the others called him an asshole and you thought he was trying to dissuade you because he was jealous. He knew what he was talking about and you should have listened to him.

The man closest to you lights a cigarette, his face briefly doused in a gloomy red light. You think of them as men because it somehow makes it easier, but he looks barely 16. Your room quickly fills with smoke and you try to suppress a cough so they don’t hit you again.

That’s how this all started, with you getting punched in the stomach.

Your undercover mission asked a lot of you, maybe too much. You were aware that it might be necessary for you to sleep with some of the men you were trying to get close to, and when they asked you about this back at the embassy, you wouldn’t have any problem with it... Until it was about to happen. The man touched you, breathed into your face smelling of cheap alcohol and expensive cigars, and in a moment of sheer panic, you fought back and blew your cover.

That’s it. That’s all. You ruined the mission because you couldn’t lie still for five minutes, and now you’re paying for it.

You know there have been attempts to find you and you know you’re not the only hostage. Right at the beginning, you shared a room with a Colombian journalist who, before that, had shared a room with a famous Colombian TV presenter. You know there are negotiations, you sometimes see on TV that a hostage is returned to their family. One time, there were shouts and sirens and gunshots, but they blindfolded you and put you in a truck. That’s how you ended up here, in this room.

At first, you focused on the stories of the people who made it out alive, not on the stories of the people who didn’t. You’re DEA, and even though you fucked up, you know those three letters are like a protective spell woven around you. Yes, they will hold you captive for as long as possible, yes, they will use you to fight everything you stand for, but they won’t kill you. The more time passes though, the more you doubt anyone is still fighting for your safe return. They might not kill you, but you also won’t be getting out of here.

With every day that passes, with every day you grow weaker and more tired, those men stare at you more and more. At first, they didn’t dare to look at you, ignored you when you tried to talk to them, acted like you weren’t there. Now you catch their eyes on you frequently, hungrily taking you in. They still don’t touch you – not like that, anyway – but they hit you when you’re too loud, they press their fingers over your mouth, the smell of cigarettes and gunpowder making you gag, and sometimes their hands wander, to the small of your back, to your side. Even if you make it out of here alive, you won’t make it out of here unharmed.

It's a different day. At least you think it is. You sleep more and more during your period of nothing, but it isn’t a restful sleep. If anything, it makes you more tired, wearier. You dread waking up and you dread falling asleep and you dread being awake. But something is different today, something has changed while you were asleep. There are only two men with you tonight, and they look at you more and more, their faces unreadable. It unnerves you more than their openly lustful gazes. You pretend to ignore them as best as possible, but it’s hard when you don’t want to turn your back on them.

A third man comes into the room, one you haven’t seen before. He’s big, broad, a tight shirt stretching over his belly, lines around his eyes, thinning hair on his head. He doesn’t look at you, just steps over the two boys and switches on the TV that comes to life with a static crackle. On your mattress, you come alive too, your heart starting with a painful lurch. Whatever it is, this can’t be good for you.

You barely recognize the face on TV. It takes you about a minute to make sense of what you’re seeing, so unfamiliar you’ve become with the ambassador you used to take orders from. She looks the same – it’s you who has changed. Her suit is still perfectly pressed, her hair is still perfectly styled, she still speaks into the cameras in that calm, no-nonsense voice. It’s you who you don’t recognize, you who doesn’t make sense anymore.

It also takes you a while to understand her, to make sense of what she’s saying. You hear the words “hostages” and “negotiation”, and you know she’s talking about you and whoever else there may be, but definitely you. It would explain your captors’ faces. Something has happened, some new development that’s inconveniencing them. Maybe this is it. Maybe you’re being set free. Maybe even tonight. The thought makes you feel light-headed; you have no idea who you are outside of these four walls and that mattress.

“… end of negotiations. We will no longer regard terrorists as equal opposites in this. Any American hostages they might still have, or pretend to have, will, from today onward, be considered missing in action.”

What does that mean? Surely, they wouldn’t just … they wouldn’t just let you die, would they? You’re DEA, you can’t be missing in action, you’re not a soldier. The cartels can’t kill you, they wouldn’t do that. Just how the US wouldn’t abandon you, wouldn’t go on TV to sign your death warrant in front of a live audience. It doesn’t make sense.

You turn to your captors, as if looking for guidance, but they look just as lost as you. Even the big man. He keeps running his fingers through his thin hair, sweat beading on his forehead. One of the boys looks at him too, as if waiting for orders, the other is running the tip of his index finger through the dust on the floor. Why won’t they look at you?

“So we just kill her?” asks the boy who keeps staring at the big man. His name is Andrés Felipe. You know that because another boy let it slip once. You’re not supposed to know their names, and Andrés Felipe made sure that mistake would never happen again, but by then it was too late.

“Not yet,” the man answers. “We have to wait.”

Andrés Felipe groans. “What for? You heard that woman on TV. They’re done negotiating.”

“You don’t know that,” dust boy chimes in. “It could be a ruse.”

Andrés Felipe laughs at him. “As if you know anything about politics. You can’t even read.”

You look at Andrés Felipe then, truly look at him. You need the distraction. You need to pretend it isn’t you they’re talking about, as if your fate doesn’t depend on these three men. And there isn’t much else to do in this room but look. Andrés Felipe is young, younger than you, but older than dust boy. His face is free of wrinkles, free of the tell-tale signs of hunger and a tough upbringing in the favelas. He isn’t here because he needs to be, he’s here because he wants to be. Which also explains why he dares to speak up in front of the big man, whose maturity puts him in charge.

You don’t like Andrés Felipe, never have. Maybe it’s because knowing his name humanizes him and it’s easier to hate a human than some faceless, nameless villain. Maybe it’s because of the cruel glint in his eyes, or the way he beat up that boy who revealed his name. And now there’s his eagerness to kill you. There is no reason for you to feel any sympathy toward him.

“He’s right,” the big man says then. “Maybe they want us to kill all the hostages so they’ll have an excuse to send in the military.”

“They wouldn’t do that,” Andrés Felipe responds. “Everyone would know they’re liars.”

“They’re not,” dust boy dares to speak up again. “Missing in action also means they can be found. If you’re missing, you’re not dead. If the missing people die –”

He can’t finish his sentence because Andrés Felipe slaps him. “Shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The big man doesn’t come to dust boy’s aid. He just smirks. “Quit it, you two, we’re sitting tight until we get our orders.”

“I’m fucking done waiting!” Andrés Felipe shouts and you flinch. He’s too loud. Someone will hear him. And they don’t have any reason to keep you alive now. It’s easier to shoot you and then run. “All I’ve been doing is waiting. Do you think I don’t have anything better to do with my time?”

The big man shushes him. You wish he would hit Andrés Felipe, put him in his place, but he just crosses his arms in front of his chest. “I say we wait.”

You close your eyes and breathe in deeply. Andrés Felipe says something else in that sharp, nasally voice of his, but you refuse to listen. Nothing good can come of it. Either they will kill you or they won’t. You’re too weak to think about either of these options. And you’re not going anywhere until those orders arrive, so you might as well …

When you wake up, the room is quiet, and you immediately know something is wrong. Even before you feel the cool, sharp blade against your neck, and before you smell the stale breath of the man holding it, cowering above you.

“Not one sound,” he hisses, and you recognize Andrés Felipe’s voice, uncomfortably loud in the quiet room. It’s so quiet, too quiet with just the two of you. The sounds of him unbuckling his belt are like explosions against your eardrums. You fight the urge to tell him to be quiet, but then your brain catches up with what your body already knows, and you kick your legs and shake your head.

You almost don’t feel the cut of the knife, but you do feel the hot drops of blood on your neck. “I told you to be quiet,” Andrés Felipe hisses. “Just don’t move.”

But you do, you do move, at least your hands that you ball into fists. You don’t want your life to end like this, in some shack somewhere in Colombia with a knife against your throat and a criminal inside of you. This can’t be it. They have to put you in front of a firing squad at least, don’t they? Not like this. Please, not like this.

Andrés Felipe touches your lower belly trying to unbutton your dirty pants, and you flinch, a terrified groan escaping your lips. The knife cuts deeper into the soft skin of your throat. “Shut up, you stupid bitch,” he growls.

Then there’s blood. Everywhere. It’s in your eyes, your mouth, you breathe it in, you taste it on your tongue. Andrés Felipe collapses on top of you, the knife landing on the mattress with a dull sound. You try to get out from under the heavy body, but you can barely lift his shoulders before your arm starts to tremble.

“Hey.” You wipe the blood out of your eyes to find a man kneeling next to you, shoving Andrés Felipe’s heavy body aside so you can sit up. You don’t know who he is, you’ve never seen him before, but he has to be someone higher up if he dared to kill Andrés Felipe. Because that is what just happened, you slowly realize. Andrés Felipe is dead and you’re covered in his blood.

The strange man reaches for you and you flinch away. “Ma’am, my name is Javier Peña,” he says, his voice steady and calm as if he’s been in this exact situation a million times before. “I’m with the DEA. I’m here to get you out.”

“The DEA?” you repeat, the English sounds feeling foreign in your mouth.

He reaches for you again, touches your shoulder, and this time you don’t flinch away. “You’re safe now.” He squeezes your shoulder, then stands up and holds out his hand to you. You take it and push yourself off the mattress.

“What happened?” you ask, trying to ignore the dead body, half its face gone.

“Maybe we should discuss this –,” Javier starts, but you don’t hear the rest of the sentence. Suddenly it feels like there are cotton balls lodged in your ears and the whole world turns dark, darker than it already is.

Someone is carrying you. You think you must be outside because you feel a light breeze on your face. You don’t remember the last time you smelled fresh air, but when you breathe in deeply, you’re enveloped in cigarette smoke and gunpowder. It’s not unpleasant, you realize with a start. It comes from a heavy leather jacket you’re wrapped in, and from the man carrying you. They never would have carried you like this, carefully, as if you might break, so you know you must be safe.

When you next open your eyes, you’re inside again. The room is so big it startles you at first. But the longer you let your eyes wander, the more your brain adjusts to help you realize you’re in a normal sized living room, sitting on a leather couch, a knitted blanket wrapped around your shoulders. You must have just sat up because your head is spinning and your limbs are trembling, but otherwise you feel like you can finally breathe again.

“Feeling better?”

You’re proud of yourself for not jumping at hearing his voice. “Yeah,” you answer, swallowing to wet your dry throat. You feel an unpleasant tug on your skin where Andrés Felipe cut you twice. “Where am I?”

You turn to look at him. He’s sitting on the couch next to you but with enough distance between the two of you so you don’t touch. He’s holding a half-smoked cigarette between his fingers, trying to hide the look of concern on his face. It’s something you will see a lot from now on, people looking at you as if you’re about to break.

“You’re in my living room,” he answers.

“Why not,” you have to swallow again, “why not at the embassy?”

He taps his foot nervously so his leg is jumping up and down, takes a drag. “Us coming to rescue you … that wasn’t exactly sanctioned by Noonan.”

“So you really are DEA?” you ask, even though there are a million other things you should ask first. Like if the press conference you saw on TV was really true. If Noonan and the United States were really prepared to let the remaining hostages die. But the longer you look at the man next to you, the more familiar he looks.

Javier nods at the same time as you burst out, “You tried to warn me, didn’t you? Back at the embassy? You told me I was in over my head with this. You’re the asshole!”

The surprise on his face is almost enough to make you laugh for the first time in months. “I’m the what?”

You open your mouth, but instead of an answer coming out of it, you start coughing uncontrollably. Your sides are burning by the time you’re done, but Javier is right there next to you with a glass of water that you accept gratefully.

“Let me take a look at your throat,” he says, watching you swallow down the cool liquid.

If you think about it, you haven’t been touched in months. You know you’ll flinch away before he even touches you, so you stiffen your muscles, determined to remain in place.

He must see it all on your face. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know,” you say through gritted teeth.

His fingers are rough against your skin as he carefully tilts your head to the side. You barely flinch but you whimper because the movement hurts more than you would have thought. He hums quietly before standing up. “I’ll be right back.”

You raise your finger to your neck to find the skin there sticky with blood. Whether it is yours or Andrés Felipe’s you can’t tell. But the unfamiliar feeling makes you tremble again. You wish you could stop that, or at least suppress it. You wish the world would start making sense again. You miss your small room and your mattress and knowing what comes next. You don’t even know if Javier is telling the truth, if he really is who he says he is. Yes, he looks vaguely familiar, but until a few hours ago, you had no idea what time of day it was.

“Hey, hey,” Javier says softly. He is sitting next to you again, closer this time, but he’s still not touching you. “Breathe. You’re safe. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

“None of it makes sense,” you mumble. You’re not sure if he’s heard you, but you do feel the pressure on your chest lighten.

“You have two cuts on your throat,” Javier goes on, shaking a small bottle of disinfectant. “They don’t look too bad, but I’d still like to clean them. Is that okay?”

How do you explain to him that you just spent months asking for permission instead of giving it? How do you explain to him that you don’t know how to decide anything for yourself anymore?

Not sure what to make of your silence, Javier goes on. “You can do it yourself if you want to. I can show you –”

You tilt your head to the side. “No, please. I want you to do it.”

Javier stops shaking the bottle of disinfectant, grabs a cotton ball, and pours some liquid over it. “Tell me if I hurt you.”

He does hurt you. The second he touches the cotton ball to the cut, you want to scream. It burns so much you can hardly take it. But you grit your teeth and you don’t complain. Because you don’t want him to stop. You know it’s just the isolation and the confusion of the last hours and the fact that your world doesn’t make sense anymore, but the way he dabs the cotton ball across the cut, brow furrowed in concentration, makes you feel safe. And you can’t remember the last time you felt like this.

“You’re being so brave,” he mumbles, and surely you must have misheard or you must have imagined it, because he continues in a normal voice, “Tomorrow, you should go see a doctor. I don’t have any medical training and it doesn’t look too bad, but it can’t hurt to be safe.”

You raise your fingers to touch your throat and briefly brush his as he draws them back. “Thank you,” you say when you find your skin free of dried blood. The cotton ball in Javier’s hand is now a blotchy red. “What happened?”

“I was hoping you could tell me,” Javier says, standing up to dispose of the cotton ball. “I think he cut you with a knife.”

“No, not that.” You sink back against the couch cushions and tightly wrap the blanket around yourself. “With Noonan and the hostages.”

Javier, who is standing in the open kitchen with his back toward you, stiffens. “It was just you,” he answers, pretending to clean some dust off the counter. “You were the only American hostage left. Because it took so fucking long to find you.” He turns to you, cringing. “Sorry. I meant it took us forever to find you.”

“You can swear,” you tell him, your cheeks tingling from the unfamiliar sensation of a smile.

He walks back toward you, and it’s as if you’re seeing him for the first time. He’s no longer the jealous man who was trying to get you to back off from a mission he told you you weren’t qualified for. He’s the man who risked his job – and his life – to save you. And you don’t quite know what to do with that.

To your disappointment, he sits down in a chair, not on the couch, and lights another cigarette. “We had your location eventually. But then, two days ago, the cartel released the businessman, the only other American being held. We had to give them three men in exchange, and the exchange almost went wrong. Someone high up in Washington must have decided that’s enough.”

“So it was true, what Noonan said on TV?” You feel hot and cold all over. “It wasn’t a ruse? They were prepared to let me die?”

Javier nods. “Yeah, but I wasn’t.”

Your heart stops for a short while. “Why?”

He shrugs. “You’re one of us.”

“You warned me. You told me not to go on this mission. I thought you were jealous.”

He barks out a short laugh. “No, I thought it was a stupid mission. Too dangerous. Not worth risking the life of one of our agents for. And it was putting all our other informants at risk too.”

You look down at your hands, barely recognizing them underneath the dirt clinging to your skin. “What happens next? Will you get reassigned?”

“I won’t get a medal, that’s for sure.” He takes a drag of his cigarette and his face lights up with a red glow. “Noonan will thank me privately but reprimand me publicly. And then she’ll send you home.”

“Me? Why am I being punished?” Your voice, still hoarse from disuse, rings in your ears.

He laughs again, loudly this time. “Darlin’, Colombia almost killed you. I wouldn’t call it punishment.”

Your heart kickstarts at the use of the diminutive. “I want to stay here. There’s still so much to do.”

He stubs out his cigarette. “What you need to do is take things easy. You just went through a horrible ordeal you haven’t even begun to process. Even if you do stay here, you need a break first.”

You want to protest, but you can’t find the strength. You feel weary, exhausted, like you spent the last month trekking through the jungle without a break. Your body is a heavy lump you hardly have control over.

The next thing you feel is Javier’s arms around you as he holds you tightly. “Hey,” he says again, and you could get used to the softness in his voice. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“No,” you mumble, trying to push him away, suddenly trapped in the memory of closing your eyes and waking up to a man holding a knife cowering above you.

Javier doesn’t take no for an answer. “You’ll sleep in my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

You’re still not sure this is such a good idea, but there is no alternative you can think of, and your body is begging you to lie down on cool, clean sheets and forget the world for a while. You let Javier pull you up, and you manage to stumble not more than once as he leads you into a dark bedroom. He doesn’t switch on the light.

“I’m going to let you sleep in,” he tells you, sitting you down on the edge of the bed. “Do you want me to leave the door open in case you need me?”

“No, that’s fine,” you answer, weakly kicking off your dirty shoes. You just want him to leave so you can close your eyes.

He runs his hand from the top of your head down to your neck in a well-practiced, automatic motion. “I’m a light sleeper – just shout if there’s anything you need.”

You nod, and he finally steps back with a smile on his face. “Good night, Javi,” you say, your head hitting the pillow before you can stop it. He’s already at the door when you add, “And thank you.”

You can’t have been asleep for more than a few minutes when the sound of gunfire wakes you. It’s not close by, but the echo of it still reaches you, and before your brain has time to process, your body is already responding with a sob that shakes you from head to toe.

“I’ve got you,” Javier says, wrapping you up in his arms. You bury your face against his naked shoulder, trying to steady your breath, but you’re crying uncontrollably now.

“I’m sorry,” you sob.

All he does is run his hand up and down your back. “Shhhh, I’m here. Nothing is going to happen to you.”

His warm breath against the top of your head makes your heartbeat slow down, and you finally manage to swallow your tears. “I’m so sorry,” you repeat, feeling like you’re about to die.

“Come on, lie down,” he urges you gently, trying to lower you toward the mattress.

“No!” You cling to him desperately, but he pries your arms off him without much effort.

“I’ll be here, okay?” he soothes you. “Right in that chair over there.”

You don’t know what chair he’s talking about; you didn’t notice one when he led you into the bedroom, but you stopped noticing things a while ago. “Don’t leave me,” you beg.

He brushes your hair out of your face and places a soft kiss against your temple. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

When you next open your eyes, there he is, asleep in an armchair in the corner of the bedroom, the early morning sun dancing across his skin.

#javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #javier peña #narcos fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #10k follower celebration

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stillness-in-green · 6 months ago

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Not-Really Chapter Thoughts BNHA 424

You know, I really think there should be a point at which Deku rushing in with no plan and doing whatever he thinks feels right should become Heroic Malpractice.

Just me?

Because, like, Shouto had a plan. He spent the time between the two war arcs specifically developing a brand-new combat technique that he planned to use to shut down Dabi's combat advantage without killing him. He convinced his dad not to change the plan like Endeavor was hesitantly sounding him out about[1]; he went out and talked and asked questions, and even if they weren't the right words every single time, he did his best and he did it with intention. If Dabi proves to be dead, it won't be because of anything Shouto did to him; it'll be because Dabi himself chose to stand back up, take a warp gate across the country, pick a fight with the guy who doesn't have the power set to shut him down without unduly hurting him, and try to replicate an Ultimate Move specifically tailored for someone with a balanced power set Dabi doesn't have.[2]

And if Dabi lives, it's still going to be because Shouto booked it across the country and used that same technique to stop him again.

1: Dabi surely would have preferred to fight Endeavor from the start, and it probably would have been the more "just" choice if it had to be one or the other, but Shouto is the nominal focal character between the three of them, so, critiques of the broader Hero-side decisions aside, Shouto's arc has to come first. This is one of those places where you can clearly see how much the decision to let Endeavor survive where Horikoshi originally planned for him to die hurts the shape of the later story.

2: Obviously ultimately if Dabi dies, it's going to be because his family and Team Hero made repeated choices to ignore and neglect him, culminating in the entire family swearing to deal with Touya together only to passively accept a battle plan that involved splitting them all and letting the kid who knows Touya the least be the one to fight him. But like, in the context of that fight, Shouto isn't the reason Dabi takes all that hurt.

Uraraka may or may not have had much of a plan, but at least the words she said to Toga reflected that she had been seriously thinking about Toga in the here and now, what Toga's told her, what Toga needs. If Toga dies, it will be because Toga chose to give Uraraka an unsupervised blood transfusion with no intention of stopping it. (With the same general caveats as in Footnote 2.)

But Deku? From the very beginning, Deku has been valorized by the manga for how much he doesn't plan. All Might tells him specifically that it's a sign of greatness shown by future "top Heroes" that, in some crisis situation, their bodies moved before they could think. Bakugou's Rising chapter is defined by him reaching that same state.

Deku claimed he wanted to save Shigaraki; he's sad in the latest chapter that he couldn't save Tenko's[3] life. But did he ever have a real plan to do that? With all the quirks he had at his disposal - both his own and those who would be in the flying coffin with him, or classmates whose presence he could specifically request - did he think hard and come up with a technique that would let him stop Shigaraki without harming him? Did he try to connect with the Shigaraki right in front of him by citing to the future?

3: And I have nothing but scorn for Deku's insistence on that name when "Tenko" goes out very pointedly calling himself Shigaraki Tomura.

Well, no. Deku obstinately yelled at the phantasms in Shigaraki's mindscape that he had no plan whatsoever. The only plans we saw him carry out were ones handed to him by the OFA collective that involved "breaking" Shigaraki's psyche; the only plans he came up with himself involved more efficiently breaking Shigaraki's body.

Way back in Chapter 130, Nighteye harshly scolded Deku by saying that his way of thinking was arrogant. He said, "Go after him haphazardly and he'll slip through our fingers. You're not so special as to be able to save who you want, when you want. (...) This world is not so accommodating that you can act the Hero because you feel like it."

It felt like something that Deku should have taken to heart, a lesson to be learned and applied later, but I never much got the feeling that he did. Nothing he did in that moment, in that arc, or anywhere else in the series afterward indicates that he thought Nighteye was right. He just chose not to talk back, and the arc ended with Nighteye dead and no longer around to pose objections to Deku's mode of heroism.

But Nighteye was right. Three hundred chapters later, Shigaraki is dead because Deku could not be arsed to plan for how he could stop Shigaraki without killing him. Because he let Gran Fucking Torino give him the intellectual out that killing someone could be a means of saving them. Because he followed his gut instincts of prioritizing the phantom Crying Child that he always saw as more valid and real than the human being standing in front of him.

Because he haphazardly acted the Hero and let his body move without thinking.

And he wants to act sad about it now? I hope Nighteye materializes in his bedroom to sneer at him every night for the rest of his life.

Incidentally, fuck All Might, seriously. "Wow, Deku and Bakugou, you two are the greatest Heroes ever. Fuck me and everyone else who fought tooth and nail, arm and leg, eye and earjack, life and death, to contribute to the pile of damage that was necessary to kill and/or save Shigaraki and All For One. You two got the last blows in, so you're the only ones who get the credit for it in my eyes. Hero Society is definitely going to be different and better with you two around."

#bnha #bnha critical #bnha spoilers #bnha 424 #stillness has salt #class talk #no. 2 green #this just in:#class 1-a will no longer ALL be the greatest heroes ever #they thought too much about how to deal with the challenges facing them #and encouraged that thought in others #which is obviously the opposite of their bodies moving without thinking #and since moving without thinking is what signifies top heroes they are OBVIOUSLY not top hero material #christ almighty i hate this endgame

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mandomaterial · 1 year ago

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Yo I got something! How ea tonowari x reader x Ronal? Let's saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay after 1-2 years after the war, a human goes to visit the sully family (for whatever reason) and the leaders saw her being covered in tattoos but are vastly different and are immediately intrigued by her. I'm going through a viking phase and I saw theirs tattoo designs and I'm like AAAAAAAAAHHH THEY LOOK SEXY!!!

Familiar Markings

Ask and you shall receive, boo~ I got a little carried away here… it’s 2.6k… but that’s fine! :3

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

- It had been all too long. You were there every step of the way and you missed them dearly. What were their lives like now? Were they all okay? Those were the questions you asked yourself almost daily. So you made up your mind and decided to visit them. You were a pilot, so transportation posed no problem but still, you asked Norm what he thought about your idea. After all, you couldn’t just show up there out of the blue (pun intended).

- Norm was a little hesitant at first but saw no big problem with visiting, so the two of you decided to give Jake a heads up to not cause a mass panic when you arrived. And then you were on your way.

- You got in your trusty old helicopter and off you were! It was a pretty long flight, so you had enough time to think about what to do when you got there. The only exciting news that you had was your new tattoo. You got it done a few months ago, on your left upper arm, a nice addition to the little collection you’d accumulated over the years.

- You’d always wanted to get tattoos but you never felt like you had a real reason to. To you, it was more than just body art, it was more of a sign of accomplishment or life-changing events. So when you joined the avatar program you decided that was the perfect occasion for your first tattoo. With the help of Grace and her team, you chose a relatively simple design of an Atokarina. You’d seen one in real life when you accompanied Grace to her school and accidentally got lost. It led you back and you were in total awe.

- This time around you chose a runic design. Back on earth, you were a real fan of the complex runic language and you tried your best to learn it. If you hadn’t ultimately decided to join the Pandora project, you probably would have studied them for the rest of your life. Sadly, over the years you lost touch with your love for runes, and most of your knowledge of them faded into a blur. It made you quite sad because you felt like you lost a piece of yourself, so you decided that you’d get something of your passion engraved on your body.

- Soon enough, the islands that formed Awa'atlu came into view and you shoved your thoughts aside, preparing for landing. There were already Na’vi gathering around your planned landing spot, so you had to be extra careful. You stuck the landing with ease and as soon as you stepped foot out of the aircraft, you spotted familiar figures. The little Sully’s! Well maybe not that little anymore, even Tuk was taller than you now. “Auntieee!” the young girl yelled as she rushed to tackle you.

- you could barely keep yourself on your feet as she wrapped her arms around you and gave you a bear hug. Of course, you hugged her back but as you looked over her shoulder, you saw two new faces approach. The others moved aside for them so you assumed that was the leader and the Tsahìk. You gently wiggled out of Tuk’s grip and got ready to face them.

- At first no one said anything, all of them staring at you with blown wide, turquoise eyes. You assumed that it was just because you were a human, significantly smaller, and even a different color! But that wasn’t it, they were staring at the markings on your skin. They seemed way too unnatural to just be born with, they’d never seen a human with markings similar to their people’s tattoos. So of course they were intrigued.

- after only a few seconds of motionless silence Ronal, the Tsahìk stepped forward and started to circle you. She wanted to take a closer look at these newfound markings, were these similar to her own? You just stood still and let her do her thing, avoiding eye contact with the chilling Tsahìk of the Metkayina. To be honest, you were a little afraid, Norm had told you that she was very protective of her people and was very unwelcoming towards outsiders, so when she suddenly grabbed your arm, you winced and visibly shrunk together, trying to make ourself seem even less threatening even if they didn’t even consider you being something even close to a threat.

- Ronal pulled your arm up, almost lifting you, to inspect the strange marks. As she traced them with her hand you wondered what she thought of them. Did she with ink they were weird. Did she like them? Why was she looking for so long? Didn’t her people also have tattoos? Your thoughts were cut short abruptly as she ran her fingers over your new tattoo, even if it seemed healed, it wasn’t and you almost doubled over at the pain if she weren’t holding you by your arm.

- Of course the well-trained Tsahìk noticed this and instantly a small wave of regret and guilt washed over her. She hadn’t meant to physically hurt you, maybe intimidate you a little but not like this. She saw your eyes water a little, as you tried to calm down and not let yourself cry in front of the crowd. She gently loosened her grip on you, making sure that you were stable on your feet before ultimately letting go. Right after you gently rubbed over your arm, trying to make the pain go away but it only helped a little.

- in Ronal’s mind she had hurt you, so it was her responsibility to make you feel better again. She crouched down a little, making eye contact with you before she asked “Do you understand our language?” Of course, you understood, but you were still a little shaky so the only thing you could muster was a timid nod. The tall woman let out a little huff as she gently placed her large hand between your shoulders and gave you a little nudge. You didn’t know what was going on so you just took a step forward, your attention shifted to the little crowd that was still lingering around you. The chief seemed to be looking at his mate, making a few facial expressions. It was as if they were communicating just by looking at each other. Before they even finished, you felt the hand gently push you along, guiding you along the path that the people cleared for the two of you.

- soon enough you understood that the Tsahìk was leading you somewhere, you were quite curious and it was just the two of you so you asked: “Where are we going?” Ronal almost seemed surprised when you spoke in her language, she understood every word and you were very fluent, albeit you had a bit of an accent. It took her a moment to reply but she explained that the was taking you to her hut, but she didn’t explain why. All in all, she was a little embarrassed so she chose not to share the reason.

- Once you finally reached the large tent she carefully held open the flap and motioned for you to get in. You followed her instructions and awkwardly stood in the middle of it, waiting for her to do or say something. And do something she did. She strode over to a few baskets in a corner, kneeled down in front of them, and started looking through them. Soon enough she pulled out a little packet that was trapped in a large dried leaf.

- “Come closer” she murmured. You shuffled over and stood in front of her. Even then she was taller than you. “Sit” came out of her mouth as she stared at you with wide glossy eyes. You shifted your body into a kneeling position but kept your eyes fixed on hers. She let out a little hum and started unwrapping the packet. Inside was a generous amount of powder that shimmered and glimmered, setting it down she turned around again grabbing something from a different basket. It was a little mortar and pestle made out of what seemed like shaved-down corrals. She put a small amount of the powder into the mortar before she added a light blue liquid that she took out along with the powder. She mixed the two together for a good minute and then looked at you again.

- For a second you just blankly stared at each other before she quietly questioned “Your arm?” Whilst tilting her head a little. “Oh..” you replied while warmth flushed your cheeks. You didn’t quite know why you were embarrassed, maybe it was that there was this gorgeous tall blue woman in front of you, or that you’d never been treated like this before. Normally everyone was a little intimidated by because of your tattoos and chose to avoid you instead of getting to know you.

- Embarrassed you lifted your arm and shifted so that she faced your side and had better access to your upper arm. Seeing this, Ronal had to crack a smile, you were so good at following instructions, not at all Ike the other humans she encountered, she liked you, you were okay, she thought while she started spreading the paste over the inflamed area of your arm. You winced a little any time her fringes brushed over your skin, so she tried to be as gentle as possible, so as not to make you feel more pain than you had to.

- just then someone entered the tenant, you were curious, you sneakily turned your head and saw that the Olo’eyktan had entered. Of course, you wanted to show respect, so you started standing up but Ronal had something other in mind. She gave your lower arm a little tug that pulled you back to the floor instantly “I said sit.“ you were utterly surprised and your head whipped around between the two, not knowing what to do, he was the leader so you had to show him respect but his wife who was also a leader wouldn’t let you? You started getting dizzy and hyperventilating a little before Tonowari took a couple of steps forward and lowered himself to one knee saying “Mawey” with a stern tone, staring directly at your eyes.

- While you were distracted by Tonowari, Ronal quickly finished bandaging your arm, thinking about your markings. Why did you have them? How did you get them? To say it simply she was just too curious so she gave you a light tap on the shoulder pulling your attention to her. “Why do you have these markings?” She asked motioning to your arm.

- you were a little surprised but cleared your throat and said “I got them when I accomplished something. I think that it’s similar to why you get tattoos…” Ronal let out a little hum, satisfied with your response. Soon enough she let you go and sent her mate to show you where you’d be staying. Conveniently, you were staying in a hut that was close to theirs. Tonowari knew from just watching his mate interact with you, that she had a special interest in you and to be honest he couldn’t quite shake the feeling that there was something special about you. So he decided to keep an eye on you, just to see what you’d do here in his village.

- The next day, you decided to go see what the Sully’s were doing, after all, that was the actual reason that you came. As soon as you entered their home, you were tackled by Tuk again. “AUNNTTTIIEEE” she yelled in a high-pitched voice. You giggled and hugged her back. The other members of the Family all stopped doing whatever it was that they were doing to come and greet you.

- Jake offered you his hand to pull you up from the floor and you gladly grasped it, giving him a bro hug right after. “How are you Jakie?“ you jokingly asked with a grin on your face. “Well- I'm doing ‘aight.” He replied while giving you a head pat. When he was still part of the avatar program you were like the whole department’s kid. You were a highly skilled pilot and that with just being barely an adult, so everyone mostly treated you like a little sibling once they got to know you. More often than not, Jake had to physically hold you back from doing something dangerous or stupid, like testing the new flying gear by doing aerial stunts. The two of you had grown close over time and he saw you as his little sister, so he was more than ecstatic when he heard that you were going to come over for a visit.

- Next you walked over to Neytiri and gave her a loose hug “Hey, where are my other niece and the two troublemakers?” you questioned jokingly. “It’s good to see you as well.” she smiled “I think they’re out in the reef.” As soon as those words left her mouth Tuk yelled “Oh- I can take you to them! C’mon!” she started jumping around, motioning for you to follow her “I'll show you my Ilu!!” You laughed a little before stepping out and following the young girl.

- Soon enough you were out in the reef playing and hanging out with your nieces and nephews and just a short while after a few other kids show up as well. They’re all interested in you, they don’t seem to be afraid at all! Even the adults of the clan didn’t seem to be reserved about you. Maybe it was that you also had tattoos? You knew that these people had to earn their tattoos and that it was how they earned their respect in the clan. Maybe that’s why they respected you.

- what you didn’t know though, was that two pairs of eyes were fixated on you. The two stood near the shore and watched you play and interact with the young clan members, not a worry in their minds, they were clearly both intrigued and they both knew it. The two shared a look, making their intentions clear to one another, they liked you and wanted you around. They just didn’t know how to get you to stay.

- That’s how it started. Soon you were a regular visitor and almost even a honorary clan member. Every time your visits got longer and longer and the time you weren’t there shorter and shorter.

- one time, Tonowari asked you if you wanted to try riding an Ilu, and of course, you said yes! So the two of you trotted to the beach and he called for one. It was a pretty Ilu and very friendly. It came close and snuggled its face to yours as you giggled. Tonowari could barely hold it together cause of your cuteness! He gently held the Ilu and bonded with it, getting on and offering you his hand. You placed your hand in his as he pulled you in front of him, securing you on the Ilu.

- The Ilu began swimming and you felt the water rush past your legs as they dangled off the sides. You dipped your fingertips in the water and couldn’t stop your smile from growing as a bit of sea foam got stuck. Tonowari was utterly happy when he got to share time with you, so he made sure to give you lots of rides, even on his tsurak!

- the two of them enjoyed spending time with you and showing you their ways and it filled them with nothing but happiness when you showed so much interest in their way of life. You even had your own hut that they kept neat for whenever you came to visit, it was your home away from home but lately, it seemed that it was the other way around, that the Forrest was your second home and the sea your first, along with the people you treasured most.

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sindar-princeling · 2 years ago

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I truly and deeply love Eowyn because she's angry, bitter and can be genuinely cold when we meet her - and she's only 24! already she's changed by this war, by the loss of her parents, by the long period of her life where she had no parental figure because Theoden was battling his own depression, and by Grima being a creep. Tolkien's young characters go to war and are changed by it, like Pippin, like Sam, who is still quite a young hobbit (he's 39, and they come of age at 33), but not her - she is already deep in grim thoughts about dying for honour, cheerless, cold.

I don't like comparing all Tolkien women to one another because they are quite different from each other and comparing them just because they're women often feels reductive because they serve vastly different roles in the story, but when you're considering how he presents femininity, it's necessary to do so. so far we've met Lobelia, Mrs. Maggot, Goldberry, Arwen, Galadriel and Eowyn (Rosie was only mentioned as far as i remember?). hobbit women we meet while we are still at home, and they fit right into the homey atmosphere of the shire, in which characters are often presented playfully, or have one defining trait (think about the characters we only know from notes attached to bilbo's "gifts"). further from home, we meet goldberry, arwen and galadriel, who are old, fair, good, beautiful. each of them is different (and galadriel especially has a dark, flawed part of her we can see), but with the women meet on the journey, further from home, a pattern starts to emerge - they come from a different time, from a different world, and even with all their fairness and kindness they can at times feel distant, out of reach.

and then!! eowyn comes into the picture, and- she could be you. she could be me. she's not only complex, but also within reach. she's not a gentle or joyful presence, she's not a powerful ancient force, she doesn't come bearing gifts for everyone - she's so full of negative emotions and pain which she needs to heal from, she's so young and already feels like an old, weary soul.

and it's not to say one kind of character is better than the other, or more complex or anything, because that's exactly the reductive way of looking at those women that I don't like seeing in discussions. ultimately, they are all just different people. but the introduction of eowyn broadens the spectrum of femininity shown in LOTR, and while it's still not exactly wide, it's a bit wider than it was before.

#then of course we meet ioreth who is again different but that happens later and i wanted to cover the progression so far #lotr newsletter #it's honestly accidental that this post came to my mind on women's day of all days askjhkdhdkj #anyways happy women's day! trans women are women #it's mine my own my precious #eowyn #arwen #galadriel #lobelia #rosie #goldberry #mrs. maggot #lotr #the lord of the rings

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thebloodredraven · 4 months ago

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"He's more of a brother to me than you ever were to him."

- Naruto, talking to Itachi about Sasuke

I'm rewatching Naruto as a whole because I'm introducing it to my friend, and I like to watch it every few years as I gain new life experience to get a new perspective of something I've been watching since I was a little kid. I've never finished the series past the very beginning of the war arc, though (working on it!).

We're up to the Tenchi Bridge mission in Shippuden and I have some thoughts on how remarkably similar Naruto and Itachi are, specifically when it comes to their shared trait of unintentionally dehumanizing Sasuke and viewing him as a possession, and an object to obtain, rather than a person with his own autonomy and free will. I also kind of wanna go into how Kakashi and Sakura (kinda) were probably the only people to love him as he was but still ultimately failed him, and how all of them drove him away.

Disclaimer: These are all my own opinions and you're under no obligation to agree with any of it. If any of what I have to say bothers you, you're more than welcome to exit the post at any time and ignore me instead of sending hate mail and leaving heinous comments. Anything you have to say in response can be said respectfully. Thanks!

Words: 2.3k

In episode 41 of Naruto Shippuden, there's a scene where Naruto is in his own mind as he's transforming into the Nine Tailed Fox (Kurama). In this scene, he sees an apparition of Sasuke walking away from him and when he tries to go after him, water floods all around him and he can't get to him. He's falling into his own darkness and giving in to Kurama's influence.

During this scene, he says, "I am weak, so my words don't reach [Sasuke]. Because I am weak, I can't win his recognition. So, whatever happens I must become stronger so that the bond I've finally forged will not be severed. So that Sasuke won't sever the connection with me."

It can be said that the entire reason Naruto is so obsessed with getting Sasuke back is because, as he's stated himself multiple times, he can't confidently fulfill his goal of becoming Hokage if he can't even save his friend from darkness. His entire self-worth rests in the validity that others provide him because he was deprived of that his entire life, and he represses his emotions to the extreme.

It's why he's irrational and dangerous to be around and difficult to work with; it's why he foregoes any plans or strategies people have on almost every single mission he's been sent on from the time he became a ninja till the war and is always the first to attack in these scenarios; it's why he's willing to start giving into the power of Kurama until Yamato tells him how he injured Sakura and how he needed to prove his strength with his OWN power: his need to prove himself to others and get that validation he craves trumps over anything, and anyone, else.

When it comes to Itachi, he told Sasuke that in order to become strong enough to kill him he needed to sever his bonds with those closest to him.

Opposite of Naruto, Itachi kept Sasuke at a distance at all times because of his own goals to rid the world of war and get into a position where he can render ninja obsolete (via Itachi Retsuden). His tunnel vision when it came to his personal goals caused him to disregard how his actions affected other people because he saw it as a means to an end, including slaughtering his own clan and becoming a double spy in the Akatsuki.

When Naruto and Itachi run into each other during the Gaara Retrieval arc, they get to talking about Sasuke.

When Itachi asks why Naruto is so obsessed with Sasuke, Naruto replies with the quote that leads into this post.

I was talking to my friend about Naruto's possessive nature when it comes to Sasuke and that led into be thinking about how Itachi also viewed Sasuke.

I came to the conclusion that neither of these people viewed Sasuke as someone capable of having his own autonomy, his own philosophy, and as someone deserving of having his own personal goals and feelings recognized. Sasuke was always within his full right to end up as hateful and as angry and as hurt as he was, but because Naruto and Itachi care more about their own goals and their own proximity to Sasuke, they don't view him as someone that can make his own decisions; that's why I feel Naruto had such a negative reaction when Orochimaru reminded Naruto that Sasuke came to him of his own free will after Naruto was screaming at him to "give him back." Even after three years, he cannot stomach or accept the fact that Sasuke made the choice to leave him, and it pushes him further into his obsession.

Sasuke made his own decision to go to Orochimaru because he felt like no one else around him genuinely tried to understand what he was going through. They, essentially, just wanted him to let go of his pain and keep living a "happy" life with them. How could they understand when they view him in such a way? Orochimaru was up front with his intentions and his plans for Sasuke from the very beginning. Yes, he was manipulated by the curse mark, but Orochimaru wouldn't have chosen him to begin with if he didn't see what was already in Sasuke.

He was very up front with the fact that he needed Sasuke's body in order to continue living as a powerful being and find immortality. He told Sasuke what the game plan was and knew that in order to get what he wanted, he needed to give Sasuke what everyone else had denied him: a choice. He saw a gifted child filled with jealousy and hatred, which was something fostered by his need to compete with Itachi and Naruto and gave him exactly what he wanted.

Sasuke's entire clan was annihilated by the one person he sought the most validation from. After that heartbreak, he was forced to live in that same Uchiha compound all alone.

While he was dealing with the trauma of that, every single person around him was idealizing him and treating him in a way that probably drove him further into isolation: he was constantly bombarded with girls that were crushing on him and wanting him for his talents and good looks, and the adults around him saw him as the perfect student that didn't need too much attention, so no one paid attention to his needs outside of what he provided in skill. Even though they very much provided the validation and attention he was seeking from his family, no one really bothered to see him.

Naruto was seemingly the only person that actively saw what he was going through because he also knew what that loneliness looked like, but his rivalry with him mattered more than that connection. That's why physical fighting is their form of intimacy. People propped him up on a pedestal from the time he was a small child and when that position was threatened by the least talented kid in his class, it threw him into a spiral (which is another topic).

Getting back to Itachi, he never saw Sasuke as his own person at any point in his life. I know he loved him in his own way. In some ways, he was the somewhat attentive father Sasuke should have had.

But Itachi was not always a good brother. Not in the least.

He always saw him as someone to protect, to coddle, to keep ignorant, keep below him because he subconsciously did not want Sasuke to become a shinobi and go through the same trauma he did (Itachi Retsuden). Eventually, that was no longer an option and that's when the distance happened (in conjunction to what was going on in his own life as a tool that others wanted to use for their own goals).

After Itachi slaughtered the clan, he reinforced Sasuke's lack of autonomy by giving him his own means to an end.

Itachi saw Sasuke as a tool -- a means to his own long, drawn-out suicide.

Naruto viewed Sasuke as the ultimate validation to his own goal to become Hokage.

Neither of them saw Sasuke for who he was or who he wanted to be -- for who he could have been.

I'll even add Sakura to this mix because she has a complicated relationship with him as well. She did end up with him and was his friend before anything, but she’s idolized him to the point of nausea since she was a little girl. She was obsessed with becoming the object of his affection. She had an unhealthy amount of loyalty to him just like Naruto (even though I'd argue she wasn't nearly as bad as Naruto was). She changed her own opinions of something to cater to what he thought so she could seem more favorable to him. For most of their childhood, she dehumanized him and didn't see him as anything other than a love interest for herself.

However.

You can see her slowly taking off the rose-colored glasses in the first part of Naruto during the Chuunin exams at two major points: when she chastised him for acting like a coward and freezing up while Orochimaru beat Naruto, and when she finally cut her hair in the middle of battle (context: she heard that Sasuke loved long hair and that's why she always kept it long).

Beyond that, she actually paid attention to his well-being and noticed when something was wrong or when he was hiding something and brought her concerns up in a non-aggressive manor. At the time, he was aggressive and agitated by her actions, and he reacts as such. Genuine concern is hard to come by for him, so how was he supposed to react?

But clearly, he recognized it and appreciated it because it's been confirmed through his Japanese VA AND English VA AND the novels that Sasuke was starting to fall in love with Sakura long before he realized it and was full of guilt when he left her on that bench.

When the time came to acknowledge that he was an internationally recognized terrorist and killer, the life drained from her face because she realized she had to put her feelings to the side and do what needed to be done.

Because she was willing to accept the reality of who he was and see him for what he'd become. And even though she was unsuccessful, she took steps to have Naruto forget about Sasuke and kill him herself.

At this point, he's learned to use the same tactics people used on him his entire life: only keep people around you that further your own goals. This time, he was in charge. When he formed his own gang, he encountered that dehumanizing behavior again when Karin constantly threw herself at him and practically begged to sleep with him. It was only after Itachi died and he decided to take down the Leaf that he was able to finally have a goal of his own that was solely for him.

I won't go into it too much because I'm already pushing 2k words, but it's worth noting that Sasuke was pushed to do crime because that was the only period of time where he was allowed to make his own decisions and have his own autonomy enough to pursue his OWN goals before that was swiftly taken away by The Akatsuki to....you guessed it, further their own goals.

Sasuke has never been the idol the people in proximity to him saw him as, from any person's point of view. Not Naruto, not Itachi, not Sakura, not Orochimaru, no one. Obito may have been the one closest to seeing Sasuke as he was, but he immediately took advantage of him.

They all wanted to possess him and obtain him in different ways, and one of the reasons I love his dynamic with Kakashi so much is because Kakashi did grow up very similarly to Sasuke, except his own dad died of his own accord and Sasuke’s father was taken away from him.

One of the main ways Kakashi has always been able to connect to Sasuke was the fact that throughout his life he’s had to watch every single person he’s ever cared about die around him. And for a while he was that cold detached person that didn’t want to keep up with friends, didn’t want to be around people, minded his business, and he was mean to everybody.

The whole reason he gave Sasuke that speech about choosing his own path right before he went to Orochimaru was because he intimately understood what he was going through emotionally.

Naruto and Sakura can say they get where he’s coming from, but Kakashi is really the only person able to empathize with what Sasuke was going through. And if Kakashi hadn’t been consistently sent out on missions and was able to take care of his kids the way he was supposed to, there was a slight chance Sasuke could have still healed from his trauma even with the manipulation of the curse mark.

People forget that Kakashi very well could have ended up on the same path as Sasuke, even without Orochimaru’s influence, because he went through some very dark things. He had every reason to be a very dark character, but he didn’t.

He ultimately failed when he spoke to Sasuke as a soldier and not the traumatized child that was acting out on his pain.

In summary, Sasuke only went to the lengths that he did because of the people around him treating him as a possession to keep or as an object to obtain rather than treating him as an actual person. Sasuke goes through some of the most dehumanizing relationships, and I think that’s what irritates me so much about Naruto as a character.

Because he treats Sasuke, and he talks about him, like he’s a possession to obtain and because someone else “has” him, he has to get him back because Sasuke is his and his only. This extends to other characters around him, as well.

That lack of autonomy was what drove Sasuke away because he very clearly wanted to be seen as his own person but no one around him was willing to do that because they saw him as a means to their own goals. It's why Sasuke developed a "do you really think I give a fuck about what you want" personality trait.

All that being said, do I think they all genuinely loved him? Yes.

Ultimately, we have to remember that these are all small-town children with very little experience of the outside world and that the adults around him grew up in the same conditions because that's what the politics of that world demanded.

I have my opinions about the manga's imperialist propaganda, use of child soldiers, Sasuke's emotional development and how people chronically misunderstand complex PTSD, fascism, queer baiting, etc. but that's another post. Several others, actually.

Believe it or not, I had to shave down a lot of what I originally had in order to keep this relatively short LMAO

If y'all read all of this, THANK YOU! I rarely ever flesh out my thoughts about this show like this and it felt refreshing to get off my chest. Feel free to send me DMs and RESPECTFULLY speak your own mind in the comments/reblogs! ♥

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iamnmbr3 · 2 months ago

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Thoughts on Drarry and post war relationship?

Like, with canon in mind, do you think that Harry would fall first, Draco would or it'd be at the same time?

And who do you think would act on those feelings first and how would the Wizarding world react to the great Harry Potter being in love with a Death Eater?

Because I always viewed Harry as someone that knows what he wants and won't shy away from it, whereas Draco might have a harder time with all of it due to the fact he is a Death Eater, and while I don't think there's actual evidence of it, I always thought he'd feel unworthy of forgiveness and love after the war, so I think that if Harry fell for him Draco would try to push him away.

Sorry it these are two many questions for just one convo but I'm curious on your thoughts

What an absolutely delightful ask! I love getting things like this in my inbox. Definitely not too many questions. Thanks for waiting till I had a chance to sit down and write out a proper answer.

I think it's quite possible that by partway through 7th year Draco was forced to come to terms with the fact that he has feelings for Harry Potter. Strong feelings. Once in a lifetime love feelings in fact. He's tried to run from it and he just can't anymore. Oh he's not foolish enough to think anything will ever come of it. Even if by some miracle they both survive the war he knows he ruined any chance of that long ago. But he does have to face the fact (which he's been hiding from for so long) that the feelings are there. (Meanwhile Harry's too busy compartmentalizing as hard as he can because he's got a war to fight).

And then the war ends and he goes right back to denial - trying to insist to himself that he's over it, he's moved on, he has. Because the alternative is too painful to deal with. Though when he meets Harry again - whether in 8th year or after - he can't help caring more than ever what Harry thinks of him. If they meet again many years later maybe Draco's even given up on trying to convince himself he'll ever be over Harry. He's in unrequited love with Harry Potter. It's just a fact of life, a tragic and painful condition he lives with (though he'd just die if anyone found out). Of course Harry would never want him but it's terribly important to him that Harry at least not think that he is who he used to be. He goes to great lengths to show Harry that he's changed because he needs Harry to know that much at least. Even though he knows it probably hardly matters because ultimately he's just a footnote in Harry's life. It's not like Harry thinks about him.

Harry, of course, thinks about Draco. A lot. Somehow in the aftermath of it all his mind keeps going back to Draco (and also their lives somehow keep intersecting) - returning the wand, thinking about how Draco saved him, maybe inexplicably missing the hawthorn wand a bit, speaking at Draco's trial, perhaps exchanges of letters in the aftermath. And beyond that. Harry can't help notice Draco anytime he's in his vicinity. Can't help reading and remembering any article about him. Can't help wondering what he's up to and making it his business to find out. And when they finally do start interacting regularly he can't help being struck by how much Draco has changed and how enjoyable he actually is to be around in a strange way, and how Draco no longer treats him badly but does still treat him as a person and not a mythical, nearly godlike figure.

Of course, this is not to say that I think they would just immediately fall into each other's arms while Harry quotes the best drarry metas at any doubters. I personally find it jarring and ooc when fics have Harry suddenly hate Draco postwar and be mad that he didn't go to Azkaban and have to be talked around by his friends who are somehow all besties with Draco while Harry is the outlier, because Harry never hated Draco even when he had the most cause to and felt more sympathy for him than others and even lied to obfuscate his crimes. So I don't think that makes sense.

But I also don't think it makes sense for Harry to just immediately act like besties with Draco postwar and start talking about him like he's swallowed a dozen tumblr metas. Because that doesn't feel true to life either. Yes they're drawn to each other. Yes postwar a lot of the barriers keeping them apart are gone. But it would still take time to get over the past contentiousness between them. Harry would need to see that Draco had changed. Especially if we're talking 8th year when emotions are still running high and all their wounds are fresh.

Or even later. I can see Harry initially being suspicious of Draco. I can see Draco caring way too much what Harry thinks of him but that emotion translating into him lashing out when that's the last thing he actually wants to do. Because that's what he tends to do when he's feeling vulnerable. I can see Harry being way too upset and disappointed if he thinks Draco might not have changed, while his friends wonder why he's taking it so personally. And I can see Harry, who is way more introspective than he often gets credit for, starting to think hard about his relationship with Draco and why what Draco does post-war matters to him quite so much.

He might tell himself he's investigating Draco for the safety of others, or even for Draco's own good so he doesn't waste the chance Harry gave him. But it's more than that. And if Harry realizes that Draco's in trouble somehow he's resolved to help. He's tired of the fight. And Draco feels the need to thank Harry somehow, to show him he's changed. Though he's also mystified about why Harry would speak up for him yet again, when he's already done so much. Except of course Harry would do that. Because he's just a good person like that isn't he? Draco was just too busy being jealous and spiteful over something he could never have to notice wasn't he? (It's way more than that of course; Draco has never been just another person to Harry).

Anyway they are always drawn to each other and they always find each other. In 8th year if they go back to Hogwarts or through letters or some other way otherwise. And however many years pass before it happens they both live rent free in each other's heads. Awkward and stilted conversations become less awkward over time and leads to joking that each finds surprisingly enjoyable and then more conversations and confidences and each finding it increasingly difficult to not notice how handsome the other is. And well, one thing leads to another. Harry's the first one to make a move because Draco would never. Even if he thinks the feeling is reciprocated he assumes it's just too impossible given who he is. It would ruin Harry's life.

Even once they get together Draco assumes this will have to be no more than a fling, a dirty shameful secret that Harry will probably regret someday. Harry's not buying that. He doesn't care what the public thinks and never has. And he tells Draco so.

When it inevitably eventually hits the press obviously a lot of the coverage is not kind. Eventually Harry starts to wonder if maybe Draco cares. And he actually pulls a Quibbler 2.0 and gives an interview and by the end of the week the public is obsessed with the epic story of 2 star crossed lovers. Of course, for some Draco's past can never be forgiven and Harry can never be forgiven for associating with him. But Harry doesn't care. He never asked people to look up to him in the first place.

Other people though are thrilled by the story of their epic romance. It's got rivals to lovers caught on the opposite sides of a war, it's got redemption, it's got drama, it's got heartbreak. What's not to like? Sure a lot of the details get mangled. But it works out alright in the end. And eventually as the years and decades go by it's just another story that was big in the day but is now just a fact of life.

#asks #drarry #hpdm #dmhp #h/d #Harry Potter #Draco Malfoy #harco #drarry meta #harry x draco #harry potter x draco malfoy #harry/draco #harry potter/draco malfoy #my meta #drarry g

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mal3vol3nt · 7 months ago

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the reason people get mad and upset over aang not killing ozai is because they can’t or are unwilling to understand what it really meant for him to be the last airbender

a lot of people don’t truly acknowledge what aang went through when they talk about him. it was a genocide. an ethnic cleansing. a GENOCIDE. and i think that’s because so many people are just incapable or unwilling to wrap their heads around how tragic and isolating and unchangeable something like that is.

i’ve seen countless people say they wish aang had found other airbenders hiding away somewhere. and while i totally get wanting that to happen for the happiness of the character (hell, even i have thought about how heart wrenching that utter relief would feel for him), i’ve also seen those takes associated with people saying they just find it hard to believe that none of the airbenders survived. that none of them were able to escape.

and that’s the thing that annoys me because genocide is a real fucking thing that has happened and IS currently happening in the world (just look at palestine, congo, sudan). it shouldn’t be so hard for people to suspend their belief into thinking it could happen in a fictional piece of media. this disbelief that a genocide can be real results in people being unable to fully sympathize with a character who is stated several times to be the definite, unchangeable sole survivor of his people’s genocide. and i’m not saying it’s wrong to want there to be airbenders who lived, but in canon it’s clear that none of them did. and the ones who did canonically escape were hunted and lured by the fire nation to their demise. and if we’re going to discuss characters and the intents behind their actions, aang’s character development is heavily, heavily heavily guided by his guilt and grief over his lost culture and people. but a lot of people still can’t wrap their heads around the canonical genocide he survived, meaning they can’t fully comprehend why aang would choose peace over a violent end. and considering atla is a western show with a largely western audience, its even more evident that this gap in people’s ability to understand and sympathize with aang is emphasized by their western intrigue toward violence. people don’t just misunderstand aang’s dilemma—they wanted him to kill ozai because seeing him do that would have been cool and interesting and satisfying.

but aang’s decision to spare ozai’s life was made due to his status as the last airbender. prior to meeting the lion turtle, i think it’s safe to say that he had resigned to what he had to do. that is to say, he was likely going to kill ozai despite the pain that was going to cause him. he was going to give up a part of himself, his humanity and the last remainings of his culture, to be the avatar the world needed. but he was then gifted the ability to energy bend, offering him, but not cementing, another option. aang still had the choice, and we saw in the fight that aang was so very close to killing ozai even with this new ability. but he couldn’t. because although killing ozai would have been a pretty justifiable thing to do, it would have fully finished off the air nomads. aang was the only living human who held onto their beliefs. if he were to push those values aside to end the war, the war would have ended the same way it started: with the death of the air nomads. and it may sound “cheesy” or overly dramatic or whatever to some people, but aang’s entire story arc has, arguably, been him trying to fit in a world that seemingly has no more room for the air nomads. not only is he 100 years in the future, but this future has none of his people around and war is everywhere. violence is basically required to survive. death is everywhere. greed has corrupted nations. everything the air nomads stood against made up this world, and aang, as the avatar, had no choice but to save it. for him to have given in to what everyone expected of him—violence—he would have ultimately eliminated air nomad values from the world. and the world would have not cared. aang’s victory would have been celebrated, but aang would have felt even more grief than before. he would have let himself and his people down. and balance would have never been achieved because the air nomads mattered. they were part of what kept the world going round. no matter how much the current world he was fighting for called for violence and death to achieve an end, the air nomads still had a voice through aang. they were still around because of aang. aang’s existence and dedication and love for his culture kept the genocide from being official.

and in my opinion, air nomadic values coming out victorious in a war that nearly wiped them clean (except for aang) is much more of a meaningful and satisfying ending than violence ending with violence.

and if you wanna call aang’s decision selfish, then fine. but i personally think it’s more selfish to expect a survivor of genocide to keep giving and giving and giving for a war that took his people from him until he has nothing left of himself to give. i think that is far more selfish. aang may be the avatar but he is also human. just as much human as his people were, and the leaders he was fighting against, and the millions of people he ended up saving, and just as deserving of having some sort of agency in the decisions he makes. call me crazy ig

#aang’s decision to spare ozai was the right decision and yall will never convince me otherwise #aang was a victim of this war and his people deserved to receive justice in a way they would have appreciated and advocated for #and if you wanna say it was selfish of him #then so what??#call me crazy but i think a 12 year old survivor of genocide is more than right to be selfish when confronting the man #whose forefathers took his people and culture from the earth #and who planned on giving that same fate to other nations of people #atla #avatar the last airbender #pro aang #aang defense squad #air nomads #airbenders #aang #avatar aang

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gallierhouse · 4 months ago

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Do you have any thoughts on Madeleine as a foil for Armand? Personally I think that’s why he had her killed.

I do. I think he hates her because she reminds him of his weakness, but he also respects her, and maybe sees how she’s like him at the same time. They’re the same animal. Survivors surviving. The key difference between them isn’t really that Madeleine doesn’t suffer the conflict that plagues Armand, or that she finds vampirism easy in all the ways he finds difficult, but more that Madeleine is capable of real sacrifice when Armand is only ever capable of self-serving sacrifice. In the end, after all she’s done to survive (she survived the war, slept with a Nazi soldier so she wouldn’t starve — this is implied when she talks about how she finds her neighbor’s corpse, the shearing and the assault after the war, reacting calmly to Claudia murdering and eating all those people in her shop, agreeing to be turned, etc.) she decides to die with Claudia, for love. Even though she didn’t have to, even though Claudia told her to pick herself and survive. In the end she picked love.

Armand never picks love. In the end he’ll pick survival. Armand is a great romantic, and he always puts the needs of his partner above his own, but ultimately, when the chips are down, he’ll choose to save himself. There isn’t anyone in this world he’d sacrifice his life for. He’ll sacrifice everything else, mind you, but he won’t sacrifice that. He will happily carve out parts of himself for someone he loves, play whatever part they want them to, let them do anything they want to him, but that’s the one thing he will not do. In the end he won’t ever pick someone above himself. And that’s fine, it’s not a moral victory or loss. Armand’s comfortable with sacrifice as service, cutting off parts of yourself for the promise of someone else’s love, sacrificing for the sake of getting something in return, sacrificing for the sake of keeping someone close to you, sacrificing for the sake of getting to say, “This is everything I do for you, and you still don’t love me? This is all I do for you, you have to love me”, sacrificing for the sake of playing the martyr. He can’t actually sacrifice. He can’t sacrifice something and get nothing in return. Dying with someone gets you nothing. You’re just dead. Together, sure, but you’re not alive to enjoy it. Conversely, Madeleine really isn’t the type to perform acts of service for someone else. She would never be someone’s servant. She’s independent, she’s strong-willed, her companionship with Claudia is a partnership of equals. She’s utterly powerless, both as a human and a vampire (the harassment and assault she faces from her neighbors, her age as a vampire) but she’s not afraid of Claudia, Louis or Armand. Even when she should be. She’s openly dismissive and rude to Armand. She calls him “young man,” asks him if he’s even noticed there’s been a war when he asks how she’ll survive once nothing of her time is left, tells him that he doesn’t know if Claudia will last. She has a spine. Maybe more of a spine than she should have. She’s his opposite in that sense, really, and I do think it annoys him when she says she wouldn’t have a problem eating people since she doesn’t have a problem eating her food now. He tests her with all the difficulties of vampirism, she always has a response. Why should it be so easy for her when it’s so hard for him? I don’t even think Armand sees humans as people (and I doubt he sees most vampires as people, either) so he’s experiencing a really odd situation, like if a dog suddenly started winning an argument against you. By the end of it he recognizes her personhood, maybe even respects the drive she has, but it’s still worthless. She’s mortal, she’s fragile, she’ll die like the rest of them, no amount of psychological fortitude changes material reality. But then Madeleine gets turned (and he hates it, obviously, he hates that Louis picked Claudia over him, he hates that Louis would even turn someone, he hates that Louis did this terrible thing and he hates that he did it because he loved Claudia more than he loved him, he hates that Louis doesn’t need him, he hates that there’s this new fucking vampire in town, and she’s a fucking bitch, even if there’s something real and tragic about her that he can understand). Then in the end Madeleine decides to die during on that stage with Claudia. She does everything Armand is incapable of and more. And she’s weak and she dies. And he kills her and he survives. And then the cycle goes on.

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #armand #madeleine eparvier

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fanfic-obsessed · 1 year ago

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Ten Years in Two months

While the meat and potatoes of this idea comes a bit later, it does require some finangleing beforehand. Some of the beginning does feel a bit contrived, because it is. In order for the dominoes of the plot to fall right later, we do have to force them into shape now in a series of improbable actions.

Bear with me for a bit, we’ll get there.

There is not really a particular point this starts, save that it is after Padme becomes pregnant (though well before she realizes she is) but before the Umbara arc (or ignoring the Umbara Arc), for no particular reason other than I want Waxer there. A mission is assigned to the 212th to escort Padme Amidala and her retinue to a neutral world for negotiations with the Separatists. They are taking with them commander Ahsoka Tano (the in-world explanation being that she was on Coruscant catching up with course work and they would rendezvous with the 501st, who were on a campaign in that region).

On the way to this neutral world, from the perspective of the rest of the galaxy, the 212th in its entirety vanishes for two months.

From the perspective of the 212th they become trapped on an uncharted planet for 10 years.

For the rest of the galaxy those two months are enlightening into Anakin Skywalker's particular brand of instability. Without the tempering influence of the bonds to his Master and Padawan, compounded by the fact that his secret wife disappeared as well, Well…his attempts to find them could, in the best of lights, be described as unhinged. He did not fall in at this time, for he was given no reason to make that choice (and falling to the dark, into evil is very much a choice. One does not fall by accident, after all), but he made it very clear that the war, protecting innocents, the Republic, or even the lives of his own men meant nothing compared to finding Padme (occasionally he would remember to make it seem as though he was focusing on finding Obi Wan or Ahsoka, though he never quite remembered to include the rest of the 212th). His obsession presented itself in such a way that even Palpatine was reconsidering some of his plans (he still intended to break Anakin into Vader, but he was now inclined to let Padme-and maybe even Ahsoka; Obi Wan was always going to die-live on as a stabilizing influence to his ultimate apprentice).

He was swiftly removed from command of the 501st and had to be kept partially sedated for at least 6 of those 8 weeks.

With the 212th for the first few months, from their perspective, they tried to contact the rest of the fleet. Tried to contact anyone. Tried to escape from their orbit around this one planet, thankfully habitable and with an abundance of edible food. However, though they did not know it, the planet was out of sync with the rest of the galaxy.

Over the period of about two years they shifted from living mostly on the ships with just enough people on the surface of the planet to keep everyone fed to a more permanent settlement on the planet with a rotating skeleton crew up on ships to keep everything running.

Padme found out about her pregnancy pretty early on, and with it came the knowledge that her relationship with Anakin was not the secret she thought it was. Nor was the relationship forbidden like Anakin told her. The marriage was forbidden, because of the Oaths Anakin swore as part of the Jedi Order and how they conflicted with the traditional Nabooian Wedding vows (though she also finds out that the Jedi Order would have helped revise both sets of vows so they did not conflict). Even beyond her own misunderstandings of the Jedi, she started to see the many places where Anakin either deliberately misunderstood his own culture, or deliberately misled her.

In fact it became obvious within the first six months that every culture represented in the ships (The variety of cultures from the natborn admiralty, the Nabooian Delegation, The clones, and the Jedi) all had some misconceptions about all of the other cultures ranging from the humorously minor to massive misunderstandings (One of the minor misunderstandings is between the Jedi and the Clones on names and numbers. The Jedi believe that they are making sure that they are calling the clones what the clones want to be called instead of their designation. The clones think that the Jedi as a whole are uncomfortable with their designation AS names-Which yes but also no-so even though most of the clones prefer a name to their designation, even the few that want to use their designation are told by the other clones that the must choose a name to use around the Jedi).

Obi Wan takes over Ahsoka’s training and the gaps that Anakin had left become very obvious; the place where he taught her something that was outright wrong even more so. About three months in, Ahsoka tells Obi Wan about Anakin’s ‘training’ of being surrounded and fired upon by the 501st. One of the few things that Anakin was right about was that he Jedi would not understand, nor condone, that training. Ahsoka had not realized how disconnected from her own culture she had become in her short time with Anakin. How isolated he had made her from her people. Though she and Obi Wan were the only Jedi, she felt closer than ever to everything she had grown up with as he took on her tuition.

In month 8 Obi Wan, who was looked to as the leader, arranged for a series of times to address the misconceptions held by an for each culture present. When it became clear that they were cut off for the long haul, he helped the variety of people to start to live instead of just surviving. And at the beginning there were a number of natborns among them that were anti clones, or anti Jedi, just as there were many clones that were anti nat born. But with only about 1500 people in total (1300 clones, about 50 natborn officers and support staff, about 150 senatorial support staff) there were simply not enough people to support those kinds of prejudices. It is hard to say that the clones were not human when you listen to the stories of decommissioned batchmates during one of the remembrance ceremonies. Or hate the natborn lieutenant that got drunk and cried all over you about the pregnant wife they left behind.

The twins were born with a village of aunts and uncles, and though they are the oldest, they were not the only ones. Sache, one of Padme’s former handmaidens and part of her senatorial retinue, entered into a relationship with Waxer and Boil, having a child with them that was a year younger than the twins. Many relationships formed and broke apart during those years.

Ahsoka and Padme ended up co parenting the twins, with Padme being called Mom and Ahsoka being called Mom Ah. It was the twins who insisted on their names from their earliest ability to speak.

In year four Cody and Obi Wan get married. Though theirs is not the only relationship that develops, nor the only one with healthy communication, their relationship does highlight to Padme how unhealthy her relationship with Anakin actually was. (It should be noted that, although Anakin’s instability and actions were flashier, this is not Anakin abusing/coercing the poor innocent Padme. In this they are toxic together, both acted in unhealthy ways that compromised their own morals). Padme was able to see how Cody and Obi Wan did not use their love for each other as a bandage for deeper wounds. That CodyWan did not become all consuming; each man had friendships and hobbies and duties separate from each other (even with the friends they shared, they did not act as a single unit, inseparable from each other). The other relationships she saw only drove this point home.

At some point in those ten years she tells Obi Wan of what happened on Tatooine, just before the start of the war. And Obi Wan, eyes betraying his grief and horror at the massacre of the Tuskens asked her why she absolved Anakin of his crimes (By technicality, as a senator Padme did have the authority to absolve Anakin-so even if Tatooine becomes part of the Republic, and the crime is reported, Padme’s actions mean that Anakin cannot be tried under Republic Law). Padme cannot answer him.

Though it does take time, Padem is eventually able to meet Obi Wan’s eyes again after the revelation.

6 years in, Ahsoka and Padme realize that they have fallen in love. Driven by the Jedi teachings for healthy and open communication (though many cultures value open and honest communication, few need it in the same way as the Jedi who are all some degree of Empath), they talk about what was happening. Neither is sexually attracted to the other, but they do want to date each other. But Padme is married to Anakin. And it might have been six years, so they do not know if Anakin even still lived, and if did, he had likely moved on (both of which are reasonable assumptions) but being together without first speaking to Anakin felt too much like giving up the idea that they would find a way home. So they agreed to wait until they were ready to give up that idea.

They had not given up by the time that the 10 year mark rolled around.

In year 7 the chips begin to deteriorate. The material they were made up of were not meant for the extra years of use, plus the method Helix used to stop the accelerated aging (discovered within 5 months of actually having time) created an enzyme as a byproduct that had no effect on the clones, but accelerated the deterioration of the chips. The first three chips were removed after the clones involved complained of migraines. All the documentation in the computer banks (the archive of what was readily available, instead of what was stored on the galaxy’s version of the cloud) of the ships said the chips were to inhibit excess aggression. No one had any reason to not believe the documentation, not even with the realization that the chips were not in the right place for what they were supposed to do (the assumption is that the Kaminoans, for all their genetic know how, just do not understand near human neurology enough to have put it in the right place). Obi Wan met with Helix, the head medic, with Cody after the removal of those first chips. Obi Wan assumed that he did not know about the chips because he had not been on the council when the order was put in. Helix is able to confirm that all of the clones have these chips and what they are supposed to do (according to the literature) and that some were beginning to deteriorate. After it becomes clear that the removal will not hurt the clone, they make the decision to remove all of them. However, believing them to be behavioral modifiers (if incorrectly placed), and as they did not have the optimal equipment to decode them, they all left it at that and put the Chips into storage and basically forgot about it.

Just 15 days shy of the 10th anniversary of their arrival to the uncharted planet, whatever grip that was holding the ships bound to orbit the planet vanished (The planet was in sync with the rest of the galaxy- it is a window of time that is six hours long in the larger galaxy, or 15 days long on the planet) Still not able to raise communications to anyone outside of the planet’s orbit, not knowing how long they would have before they were stuck again, and fearing that they would be cut off from anyone left behind (no one had forgotten that the planet had not registered as there until they were trapped), everyone was loaded onto the ships along with all of their food stores and the 212th left the uncharted planet.

As soon as they hit the galaxy at large again, alarms began to shriek. Every system that communicated with the central systems (basically everything outside of life support) experienced a fatal error upon reconnecting with the galaxy’s central system. It takes 4 days to fix. They have to reset all of the internal clocks/calendars in their computer systems to a date and time two months and 3.5 days after they became trapped (the last 24 hours of that time was spent inputting random dates into the system).

NOTE: There is a very important reason for this. Computers are very black and white about some things, and communicating between computers is often validated on specific information to make sure that both systems are dealing with the same information at the same thing. Current Date/Time had to be validated for the purpose of navigation. Galactic/Stellar drift is very real, and in the mapped regions of the galaxy that drift is precisely calculated. It is impossible to keep a real time map of every object in the galaxy, instead there is a systematic ping that goes out at specified times (Twice per Galactic Standard year) remapping every object in the known galaxy and correcting the location in the centralized system. Then Navigation computers calculate how long it has been since the last ping to figure out where everything is and a safe route. That only works if the current date time matches the current date time of the centralized system exactly (some of those object movements, even objects large enough to damage the largest of ships, can be measured in microseconds).

No one realizes why this is an issue. The entirety of the 212th believe that 10 years have passed (born out by their time keepers, which had ticked along for ten years) and yet to the larger galaxy only two months have. They absently notice that by the time anything is working again the planet they were on had vanished.

A message is sent to Coruscant, to the Jedi temple, but it is a hesitant thing. Deliberately vague in details. Obi Wan has no idea what 10 years has done for or to the war effort. The response is almost immediate, a call from the Jedi council. The very first question out of Mace Windu’s mouth is a cranky sounding ‘Where in the Force have you been for the last two months?’ (Look Master Windu is absolutely ecstatic that they are safe and not dead, but he has spent the four days helping to keep Anakin contained-the sedation began to wear off faster now that he could feel Ahoska and Obi Wan in the Force again-, the last two months realizing that Obi Wan ran about a third of their side of the war, and had been in the middle of sleeping for the first time in weeks).

There is quite a bit of confusion as both Obi Wan and Mace were absolutely sure the other had lost it over how long the 212th had been gone (Obi Wan: we were trapped for ten years; Mace: Bullshit! You’ve been gone for 2 months). It is Ahsoka’s appearance that convinces Mace that something more is going on (he would not know the children, and Ahsoka is the only other one for whom 10 years-or 10 years and 5 months for the clones- would make a huge visible difference). Mace is able to convince Obi Wan that they really have only been gone two months and the 212th makes its way back to Coruscant, reeling over the disconnect (The Lieutenant who spent the last 10 years mourning over the missed moments with their wife and unborn child…hasn’t even missed the birth).

The mind healers who have been dealing with Anakin nearly weep in relief at the news that Padme Amidala is with the 212th and safe. They know that Anakin needs many much therapy still but they have hope he will actually pay attention now that his wife is back.

The 212th, now a community in a way that they had not been, returned to Coruscant. They do not split in the ways that they would have before (before relationships and children) and peer at the lives they had left behind that they no longer quite fit the shape of.

The lieutenant brings home their best friend (a clone who had not picked their name before the mission, but decided to go with 29, which they picked to reference the number of a decommissioned batchmate) to meet their wife, only for some of the wife’s family make an awful comment about flesh droids and being a pet (thankfully their wife was equally embarrassed by her brother’s behavior).

Obi Wan, Cody, Padme, and Ahsoka go to the Jedi temple, to the Jedi Council (the twins, like the rest of the children, were left aboard the Negotiator in the care of their extended family). They speak of the planet where they had been trapped and the lives they grew there.

Padme took the time to apologize to the Council, formally, for the violation of their beliefs that she and Anakin had perpetrated by marrying as they had. She could admit that while Anakin had not told her of any Jedi traditions for marriage, or really any traditions they might be violating by marrying, she had made no effort to check either.

As an afterthought Obi Wan told the Jedi Council about the chips deteriorating, but that they did not appear to be doing anything anyway (To which every other member went: “What chips?”). Upon being asked Obi Wan calls for Helix to get a chip or two out of the storage closet they had been forgotten in. Which was then promptly handed to people with specialized equipment for decoding bio mechanical chips.

After the latest round of sedation has worn off Padme, Obi Wan, and Ahsoka go to see Anakin. They are told that before Anakin can be released he needs to be assessed by three different mind healers. They go intending to tell Anakin of the twins. Padme also goes with the intent to test the waters about the possibility of separating (She does not know that her and Ahsoka dating would go anywhere, nor are either of them even thinking of it right now, but even leaving that aside Padme has realized that her and Anakin are not healthy together). Things do not go quite as intended.

At first Anakin is so happy to see all three of them, he exclaims over Ahsoka being so grown up (she is now 24, now older than Anakin). It rapidly becomes clear that Anakin expected he would be released immediately, now that they were back. There was a small blip, a frown and a strange heaviness when he realized that all three of them were backing the healers that he needed to be assessed. Anakin also did not like how close Ahsoka and Obi Wan were, oh before they vanished he would joke about Ahsoka being their shared padawan, but he preferred it when Obi Wan’s lessons unintentionally reinforced the idea that Ahsoka was better off with Anakin than any other Jedi.

There were a few moments when he could speak to Padme alone, and the way he spoke left Padme feeling cold. There was nothing overt but it all reinforced a possessiveness that Padme realized she did not want in her or her children's lives. They leave without telling Anakin about the children.

Padme tries six more times to go and talk to Anakin about separating. At best he acts like he does not hear or understand her words. At worst he starts ranting about Obi Wan trying to steal his wife and needing to be sedated.

Regretfully, and with the backing of both the Jedi and the 212th community, Padme starts the process to get a divorce. Nabooian traditions insist that a couple that wants to divorce must meet with a Nabooian marriage counselor first, to see if reconciliation is possible. Setting this up takes several months as, upon being informed of proceedings Anakin had a second breakdown. His connection to the Force was such that the Jedi needed to block the connection lest he become very destructive. Only the Force Blockers left him not coherent enough to attend the session with Counselor. In the end the Jdi built a special room just to block Anakin’s specific connection to the force for them to meet in. Traditionally the divorcing couple meets at least 5 times before permission is given to divorce. It took one meeting for the Counselor to grant Padme her divorce.

The 501st had not been assigned a new general by the time the 212th returned, and Ahsoka was almost ready for knighthood. She took command of the 501st for a total of 4 months, it was too uncomfortable and too much like she was replacing Anakin (made weirder by the fact she still wanted to date his soon to be ex wife and was helping to raise his children). In the end Obi Wan ended up taking direct command of the legion, with Cody taking the lead of the 212th. This also made everyone uncomfortable, thankfully the war ended three months after that (the revelation of what the chips did had the council contemplating finding the planet that 212th had been stranded on).

Palpatine had been indiscrete around someone who he had assumed would back his power play for an Empire. To be fair, in another world that family would have been high ranking imperial with very human centric tendencies.

Palpatine had not expected a Lieutenant of the Galactic Navy, member of the 212h or not, to whip out a slug thrower and shoot at a party when Palpatine had admitted to knowing about the slave chip in the clones' heads.

To be fair, neither did the Lieutenant.

#star wars #star wars the clone wars #fanfiction prompt #obi wan kenobi #star wars au #anakin skywalker #codywan #bamf obi wan #Anidala critical #sheev palpatine #Not for Anakin Fans #anakin critical #Order 66 did not happen #jedi order respected #jedi order

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untitled-tmnt-blog · 9 months ago

Text

Summary of Cartoon Base's Q&A with Ron Corcillo

(Feb 10, 2024)

This is VERY long, so putting it under the cut!

Apocalyptic Future

We don't know how Donnie and Raph died specifically, but it was in combat against the Krang.

The turtles were leaders of the resistance and obviously went through some serious trauma. We don't really know how that affected them emotionally. It might be interesting to do a series that explored that timeline at some point.

Leo was the best ninja fighter. Once Raph and Donnie were gone, he was also the leader of the resistance. He also had a special affinity for Casey. He may have felt particularly responsible for Casey once his mother was gone.

Mikey probably could have communicated with Raph/Donnie/Splinter in the same way they could communicate with Karai, even though we didn't get the chance to see it.

The turtles wouldn't have had time for having their own kids or starting families. They were too busy fighting the krang, and the world was too dangerous for raising children.

They couldn't work out everyone's timelines in the bad future, but presumably, Big Mama's assistant would have joined the resistance, because what else could you do? She would have to have adopted her brothers as allies.

Mikey is definitely less cheerful and more wise, but he still ultimately has faith in the goodness of people and the world. Some things, you just can't change.

The turtles are in their early 40's, but the war has taken a toll.

Characters

Splinter spent a lot of time in the Hidden City, so he knows about more mystic things than we realize. He's developed those skills (i.e. using Leo's odachi to make a portal on the first try), but they've been dormant for a while.

Donnie can temporarily create items with his powers like the ones we see in the movie, but to make a tangible item that would last, he's have to build it physically the way he would with any of his tech.

Leo probably had the hardest time accepting Draxum, since he is the most skeptical. Mikey is the one who accepts Draxum the most easily. But they did have episodes planned where Leo and Draxum work together, so Leo would have gotten over it as well.

They had never worked out a name for the second turtle sister (the first possibly being named after Frida Kahlo), but would have chosen another female artist to name her after. Maybe Camille, after Camille Claudel.

The planned sisters would be roughly the same age as the turtles, so also teenagers. The only existing designs are what we saw on screen. They had never settled on colors for them.

CJ and present Leo is kind of a weird dynamic, when you think about it. Casey still couldn't help but see Leo as a father figure, but it must be a little different when you're roughly the same age.

Leo keeps whatever he wants in the little bags he has attached to his belt. Snacks, candy, fidget toys, body spray - this is Leo, after all.

Splinter had never celebrated the turtles birthdays in the past, because he was so depressed about his own mutation. But going forward, now that he's come to grips with who he really is, he would start to celebrate that day.

A meeting between Cassandra and Casey Junior would be incredibly heartfelt. Break out the tissues.

They thought about bringing Piebald back in Man vs. Sewer, but it didn't work out. She's definitely still out there in the sewers, so there would be plenty of opportunity for the turtles to interact with her again.

Following the movie, the most serious repercussions would be to Raph mentally. He would still be carrying some of that krang mentality. He might even occasionally pick up on thoughts of the krang. It would almost be like he had some form of ptsd.

A lot of Draxum's softening only comes from after his horrible experience of having his life force sucked away by the dark armor. He may have never seen the error of his ways without an experience like that. So, if the boys had never been taken by Splinter, he probably would have gone through with his plan to make them into weapons.

Splinter would have understood that Casey Jr became a soldier because he had to, and wouldn't have a problem with that. He would view Casey Jr as a nephew or grandson. They're all used to thinking of people as family even if they're not exactly related.

As far as mystic abilities, Mikey is definitely the most powerful. Donnie and Raph both seem to have pretty strong powers too, maybe Donnie a little more so. Leo is the one who relies the least on mystic power and the most on his physical and mental skills.

Donnie definitely seems to embrace the mystic power at the end of season 2 and in the movie. Ultimately, he would find ways to combine it with his tech for supreme power-ups.

April is 18 and the turtles are 16-18. Casey Jr is around late teens or 20.

Rise Lore

Given that the first krang that came to earth crashed into the Crying Titan, there must have been some form of historic yokai/hidden city even before the empyrean was around to introduce mystic powers. After all, someone must have built the Crying Titan. Maybe it was built by some other race that actually predates the yokai, and the yokai evolved from that race, affected by the emperyan.

There are definitely still krang out there, and most of the ones that we encounter are evil. The possibility of a good Krang could exist, though.

Before the humans, the yokai roamed freely both on the surface of the Earth and underground. They were probably a lot happier then, and somewhat more numerous. Oppression by the humans must have taken a toll on them.

There were a lot of Hamato and only so many powers you could have, so there would have been a lot of overlap in ninpo abilities across all the ancestors.

The Prison Dimension and Dimension X are two different dimensions. Dimension X is where the krang are originally from, and the Prison Dimension was just used to get rid of villains. Both exist in the Rise universe.

If there was more Rise

There weren't any specific plans for Kendra, but she certainly could have been interesting as a frenemy.

They would definitely want to get into Casey's whole history with the TMNT, his mom, etc.

They would have wanted to develop April and Sunita's friendship a lot more, and see how both of them related to Cassandra Jones.

They'd make as many seasons as they'd be allowed to! But seriously, they could easily fill at least 3 more seasons. There's a lot to unlock with the Krang, and they'd also want to expore much more with Big Mama and the Hidden City.

Cassandra might not have been part of the main group, but she would have been a regular ally.

Cassandra and the turtles would have been allies, fighting the Krang. It's clear from the end of the movie that Cassandra is now roaming around and fighting krang, so she and the turtles could connect occasionally as a running storyline.

A new season would pick up from where the movie left off, so it would be a new plan instead of what was already made.

Bishop would have to be an ally, considering that the turtles had just saved the Earth. But he might be a grudging ally, one who didn't really trust the turtles or didn't like the fact that they don't play by the rules.

It would definitely be easier to do crossovers with the other 2D animated series, like the 87 series or the 2003 series. They could have some fun playing with both the writing and animation style of those shows. Combining 2D and CG animation is more difficult.

They probably would not have mutated April, as it would be a big step. In the scrapped episode where Dale turned into a wolf mutant, it was a result of a temporary mystic curse. They could certainly do something like that with April.

The turtles would still be able to comminicate with Karai through mystic means.

They would have gotten a lot more into the history of the Council of Heads in future seasons when they explored the relationship between the Hidden City and the Krang. They are clearly among the most ancient of yokai, possibly predating the Hidden City itself.

They could have done a temporary reverse mutation via some sort of mystic spell, to give the turtles human designs. It might have been fun since it seems to be something that fans enjoy so much.

They would have had the turtles go to the krang's dimension at some point in order to defeat the krang fully. They could have encountered any of the traditional dimension x/z stuff that way.

The storyline where the boys find their sisters would probably still happen. People would want to see it, even though it's been spoiled.

They had plans to eventually visit other Hidden Cities, such as one beneath Tokyo.

Cut Episodes/Scenes

In the original ending of the movie where Casey says goodbye and leaves, he was going to find his mom.

One of the scrapped episodes had to do with Mikey taking care of the other turtles when they were transformed into toddlers. He was a natural caretaker.

They never planned on a space arc, but they probably would have done one where they travel to the Krang dimension. They also were going to travel to the prison dimension to release Karai, and they could have had other adventures there as well.

Behind the Scenes

For the episode Pizza Puffs, Ben Schwartz did his part for feverish Leo without looking at the script so he would sound confused.

It would be great if Nickelodeon released some of the finished animatics for the lost season 2 episodes that were already boarded, but unfortunately, it's all copywrited material.

All animated movies go through multiple revisions, rewrites, and changes, which is why some of the original rise movie storyboards were scrapped.

They do remote recording all the time, especially since covid.

The amount that a writer incorporates into a fight scene varies from script to script. Sometimes, there are moments in a fight scene that are key to the story. If so, they are written out. Otherwise, they would sometimes write out a fight scene but know that it would change in the board. Sometimes, they'd just shorthand it.

The writers try not to indulge in too much fanfic because there could be copyright issues if it is similar to anything they would ever do in the show.

When writing the brothers, it was important to keep them in character. You have to know exactly who your characters are, all the time, in every way. The audience will forgive you if you do things that aren't exactly logical, but they won't forgive you if you sell out your characters.

There was never an overall map done of the lairs, just individual rooms. It was always kind of tricky for them to figure out exactly how to move the characters from one room to the other.

The krang invasion was specific to the movie, so we probably wouldn't have seen it in the series at all if it had not been cut short.

Other TMNT Characters

They weren't necessarily planning to add characters from other versions yet. They still had so many areas to explore that were specific to Rise, like the Hidden City, the yokai, and the history of the krang.

There were no particular plans for Honeycutt. One character that they wanted to use but never did was Monty Moose, and they were trying very hard to figure out a way to incorporate him into a story.

They didn't have any plans for Renet, but a character like her could easily fit into the Rise universe. Obviously time travel is a big part of the movie. They could use her to explore timelines that might have happened had the events of the movie turned out differently.

They didn't get a chance to explore triceratons, so there could certainly still be some out there.

Any similarities between Big Mama's assistant and the High Mage from TMNT 2003 are coincidental. They gave her the cape and hood to disguise her identity.

They didn't have any plans for Beebop and Rocksteady, since they don't really fit in with the Rise version of Shredder and the Foot Clan.

The turtles certainly could meet Yuichi Usagi.

Usagi Yojimbo crossovers are always fun. Ron could see one where his dimension has been overrun by the krang, and he comes to our dimension to seek the turtles' help because they're the only ones who have ever defeated the krang.

Ron-Specific Questions

Ron's personal favorite episodes are "Hot Soup: The Game" and "Sparring Partner."

They were super excited when they got John Lydon (aka Johnny Rotten) as Meat Sweats, just because Ron and Russ are big pink rock fans.

When asked about favorite duos, Ron likes Raph & Mikey, Donnie & April, and Leo & Senor Hueso.

If he could only save one episode from Rise and the rest became lost media, Ron would save the four-part finale.

If he could save one cut episode or plotline, Ron would want to save the more complete version of the end of season 2, where we would have seen much more of the turtles training and bonding with Karai.

Ron was not part of the new Saturday Morning Adventures comic that has Rise Raph on the cover.

If he could make a spin-off, Ron would want to do a series where Cassandra roams the Earth fighting remnants of the krang, joined by her son Casey, and occasionally joined by individual turtles and others. Draxum might join forces with her as well.

Miscellaneous

The silhouette in a tank shown at the end of Bug Busters was meant to illustrate Lou Jitsu when he is first hit with the ooze and mutated along with the turtles. It's more of a memory than an exact replication.

The reason Raph was transformed via the pod instead of instantanously may have been because Raph was unwilling, and was more difficult to change than someone like the Foot Clan ninjas, who underwent their transformation willingly.

They never attempted to get a brand deal with a soup company so fans could get Rise hot soup, but it would be a good idea.

The photo from the movie was taken just before the krang arrived.

When asked which Rise character is most likely to be Spider-Man: none of them, because he's owned by Marvel and Sony.

When asked why Donnie likes cute bratty girls: Ron is not sure where that comes from.

In Dungeons and Dragons, Raph would be a fighter class, Mikey would be some sort of illusionist, Leo would be a clever assassin or theif. Donnie would insist on being a scientist because he's sure there would have been at least one sensible person back then. April would be the DM.

Ron doesn't know what the illegible skate ramp graffiti means, but can ask one of the designers about it.

In a coffee shop, Mikey would be the baker, Donnie would create the most efficient coffee brewing system ever, Raph and April would run the business side, and Leo would be the most demanding customer ever.

The Future of Rise

The demand for Rise merch is real. It would be nice if Nickelodeon would put out more official merch.

There are no current plans for a season 3, but we can keep trying!

All we can really do to try and get Rise back is continue to share the show and encourage other people to watch. As well as keep it trending whenever we can. Sooner or later, someone will realize that there's a very real demand for this show.

He has talked about the potential for continuing the show in a comic book or short format, or in some other formats as well.

When asked if there's any chance of Netflix picking up Rise, or for both Tales of the TMNT and Rise to coexist -- anything's possible!

Ron would love to see a Rise comic series, but it's not his call. As far as if it would be darker, Ron thinks it's important that for Rise, they keep things light-hearted and comedic. That was always the goal of the show.

Shows rarely get "cancelled" in kids animation. It can always be brought back, but the focus is on Tales of the TMNT for now. He's said before that Rise could be brought back down the road as a "retro" series, or in other formats like a comic book, movie, or shorts.

... plus one answer, that does not have the original question attached:

"She would be stunned, and probably disbelieving at first. But we would find a way (through mystic means) for her to see her future timeline, at which point she would be overcome with emotion."

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #ron corcillo #cartoon base #Q&A #my post #tmnt #Q&A summary

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i-heart-hxh · 4 months ago

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Hello! I definitely love your account and I think there is no one better than you to answer my doubts about Killua and Gon's relationship, Why do you think Killua thanked Gon if he doesn't thank his friends, according to him?

Hi! Thank you for the compliment, I appreciate it! 💖

I actually have gotten a few asks about this recently, and I completely understand why--it's one of those disquieting odd little things in the series that feels like it's introducing uncertainty more than answering any questions. I don't feel completely set in my opinion on it, but I do have a lot of thoughts to share that might be clarifying. If anyone has additional input or thoughts, feel free to chime in!

I'll start by posting the scenes we're talking about, it's helpful to have a direct reference:

There's also this scene with Palm:

And in the separation scene:

(There's a whole scene between this, I recommend looking it up but I don't think it's necessary to post the whole conversation for this post.)

So, the first mystery of this whole thing is... Why does Killua say this to Ikalgo and Palm in the first place? A few potential reasons:

Killua is increasingly helping others more and becoming a more selfless and caring person, and he doesn't want it to be a big scene or a big deal when he does it. It's part of the way he's coming into himself and defining friendship in his own way

Similarly: Because Killua shows his care for others in his relationships with acts of service primarily, it makes sense he wouldn't want or need it to be acknowledged constantly

He and his friends will be fighting alongside each other in war/battles/dangerous situations, on a practical and safety level it doesn't make sense to acknowledge helping each other every time, especially in the midst of a battle or other risky situation

He and Gon have gotten used to helping each other, and in their relationship they tend not to thank each other constantly (even when it's perhaps warranted at times...), so it's become a pattern Killua has gotten used to and is now perpetuating in his other friendships

Killua feels awkward/vulnerable about being thanked and prefers for it to remain unspoken for that reason

Mystery #2 is... What does it mean that Killua does thank Gon after having said this to Ikalgo and Palm?

A few factors may be:

Killua has not communicated this newfound attitude and philosophy to Gon, so it may simply not apply to him yet

Gon thanks Killua first, which I think puts Killua in a weird position because to suddenly refuse the thank you and explain this whole philosophy he has now would be awkward, especially when they're just about to separate

Killua went to extraordinary efforts to save Gon--this was not a quick and simple thing that is undeserving of a thank you, and especially with how Gon treated Killua previously, so in this case he may see it as a thank you that's earned and appreciated (note that he said he doesn't need to thank his friends every time, not that he'll never ever thank his friends again)

I do think Killua is legitimately grateful for his journey with Gon and where it lead him, even with all the pain he went through in Chimera Ant Arc, and even with the uncertainty in their relationship at present, and he's legitimately grateful that now Alluka can have a good life because of what happened

And, a thought I do want to expound on more at length:

I do think, at their parting, Killua still isn't entirely certain where he stands in his relationship with Gon. They presumably haven't talked deeply about the issues between them, Killua's question about them being friends or comrades was never answered because he never asked it, and Killua likely still has some lingering doubts about how Gon sees him and also perhaps even how worthy he is of being with Gon, even after managing to ultimately save and heal him.

It is entirely possible he's not applying this logic to his friendship with Gon because...he's not sure they are friends to the degree they used to be, and he doesn't want to presume and list this rule out with someone who, in his view, may or may not consider him a friend to the same degree at this point. It's similar to Gon using Kite's words during the separation rather than bringing up the relationship between the two of them more directly--I think both were skirting around the topic because they didn't want to a) make it harder to leave each other, and b) further hurt each other or themselves by defining their relationship at the last moment and then having the other react to that in some way that's painful.

This doesn't mean their relationship is doomed if Killua thinks this, by the way. I think--similar to Gon happening to use "nakama" towards Killua after Killua had a crisis about that exact word--on a narrative level it's intended to throw some doubt into where their relationship leaves off. It's clear there's still a lot they need to say to each other and a lot that still needs to be resolved, and I think Killua thanking Gon after telling his other friends he doesn't need to thank his friends fits neatly into that. Togashi is leaving us with doubts and uncertainty because...there's still more for them to work through and heal from, and in the future hopefully we'll get to see them resolving these issues. But I'm sure the separation is intentionally fraught and complicated and meant to make us wonder what their relationship will be like going forward.

Hopefully in time we'll get to see how that resolves in canon, but for now I don't think this "thank you" situation is anything to panic about, for all the reasons I listed above. It does introduce some uncertainty, but I think it's because Gon and Killua are still in the miscommunication and difficulty phase of their story, and we simply haven't gotten to the point where they can clear things up yet.

I hope that's helpful, and at least a little bit reassuring!

#hxh #hunter x hunter #gon #killua #killugon #gonkillu #meta #asks #anonymous #long post #ikalgo #palm #my posts #I've put a lot of thought into this because I don't think there's a super simple answer #there are a few things going on here #separation meta

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