#the akatsuki

[ollyvoile]

[shirii]

the akatsuki if they were cool tbh 🍃😎

[ladykissingfish]

*Kisame gently bathing an injured Itachi*

Kisame, speaking quietly: So many scars you have. Your skin really tells an interesting tale.

Itachi, head hung down, half asleep: A tale of abject failure, maybe.

Kisame: *sighs* You’re certainly in a mood this evening, aren’t you? Lift your arms, please.

Itachi: *does as asked and groans* God … I feel so sore. And this headache just refuses to leave.

Kisame: Perhaps this’ll encourage you to actually listen to me when I try to warn you about overusing those eyes of yours …

Itachi: I know, I know …

Kisame: I know you know, but my point is that you don’t listen. Every battle, every encounter we have, you lean on that sharingan until you’re at the brink of exhaustion. When is it going to be enough, Itachi? We CAN train in other means of combat, you know? I’ve seen your Taijutsu before, it’s pretty fiercesome, so why —

Itachi: You worry too much, you know that? *scoots over and playfully swirls his fingers around in the water* Why don’t you climb on in here with me, and I’ll show you some of my other skills ~

Kisame: *gives Itachi a wry smile and shakes his head* Nice try, brat, but it’s not working. *holds out Itachi’s robe for him* Come on, you’ve been in there long enough. Let’s get you into bed and a hot cup of tea in your hands.

Itachi: *steps out of the tub and into the waiting robe* When you say “bed”, do you mean —

Kisame: Yes; my bed. I prefer you there, anyway. Easier to keep an eye on you.

Itachi, indignantly: Oi, you’re acting like I’m some child that can’t be trusted. Worse than that, you’re giving me the same treatment that Sasori-san gives Deidara, or Kakuzu-san gives Hidan! Don’t lump me in with those immature brats! I’m not —

*from down the hall*

Deidara: Danaaa! You’re being a jerk, hm!

Sasori: If me being a “jerk” means preventing you from jumping off the roof to “prove that death is a social construct”, then I guess I’ll just keep on being a jerk.

*from the opposite end of the hall*

Hidan: ‘Kuzuuuu! You never let me have any fun, you bastard!

Kakuzu: Fun? For the love of that fake god of yours, how is wrestling a just-out-of hibernation bear FUN?! I KNOW your stupid ass can’t die but can you think of me for once, eh? Can you think of the guy whose gonna have to sew your ridiculous body back together??

Itachi, to Kisame: See?! I may overuse my eyes but at least I’m not actively doing crazy things like those two! I —

*Tobi walks up*

Tobi: Itachi-senpai! Are we still having our dango eating contest tonight? Tobi is positive that he’ll beat your record of 142 dango in one hour!

Kisame:

Itachi: … Okay, even half-blind I can still see that smug look on your face, Kisa.

[denerturee]

Akatsuki Babysitting chart

[yowyowyaoi]

*Deidara barges into Kakuzu's room late one night* Deidara: Alright, old man ... I know what's going on, and I'm ready and willing to kill you over it, hm! Kakuzu: Pardon? Deidara: Don't act dumb! I've been watching you this last week! I see how much you're hanging around MY danna! Kakuzu: Listen, child, I -- Deidara: I get it, just because you're both old and have a lot in common, you think you're better for each other than him and I are, right? Well you're wrong! Sasori is my soulmate! He's the one I'm meant to be with for the rest of my life! You're not gonna take him from me and I won't -- Kakuzu: Calm down, Deidara. I'm not trying to "take" Sasori from you. Believe it or not I'm actually quite content with Hidan. Deidara: But then why have you two been so close lately? Kakuzu: We've been talking about collaborating together on a mutual interest. I collect money and your "soulmate" collects bodies for his puppet collection. We were thinking that perhaps we can lure very specific people to the hideout, and once we get them here, we kill them, I harvest their organs, which are currently going for all-time high prices on the black market, and afterwards he gets their bodies for his collection. Deidara: O-oh? That's -- wait. What do you mean, lure them here? How do you think you'll do that, hm? You and Danna don't exactly give off friendly vibes ... Kakuzu: Ah, see, that's where the benefit of having younger, objectively attractive partners comes in. Just how much DO you love your "Danna"? And how far are you willing to go to "help" him? Deidara: What do you mean? I -- *Hidan comes out of the bathroom, wearing a dress and makeup* Hidan: Oi, old fuck ... is this "sexy" enough for your stupid plan or what?? Deidara: ...

[pocketlessdruid]

Sasodei week day 8: happy ending

AU after the Gaara rescue arc. They could only find one of Deidara's arms but it's okay because Sasori survived and it's going to make him a prosthetic one.

The last one :'( i'm so happy i managed to complete the whole event

@sasodeiweek

[x-emeraldsky-x]

TobiDei Week 2024: Day 1 - Fanboy

// @tobideiweek

[thermodynamic-comedian]

i fear naruto got it so right when it comes to building dynamics between characters. like what if these very specific characters were forced to develop an eternal bond even though they were picked entirely randomly to be on the same team for years to come?? god. what if the extrovert dog boy got put in a team with little miss social anxiety and autistic bug enthusiast, and they had no CHOICE but to become extremely protective of each other. what if the taijutsu specialist got put in a team with the kekkei genkai user and the weapons nerd, and they were FORCED to develop fighting tactics using TEAMWORK.

and then ur like. oh wait. all of the adult characters here also used to be in teams. and that's where the real fun begins, because oh my god, kakashi lost both members of his team?? that makes so much sense actually. wait, guy, ebisu, and genma were a team?? taught by choji's father, or all people?? yknow what. yeah. i can see that. poor choza. wait, what do you mean the SANNIN WERE A-

and then like. the way they did the same thing with the akatsuki too, by giving them the whole partner system. what if you were introduced to two new terrifying villains, and the first thing you found out about them is that they have different opinions about art. what if even their leader, self-proclaimed god, wasn't immune to the humanizing effects of bonds, because he also had his own partner by his side at all times. man.

[cultofthewyrm]

Kisame by InHyuk Lee

[bh-52]

What are some of your favorite Akatsuki headcannons?

Deidara personally arranges New Year's fireworks displays while Konan and Sasori handle other decorations for their new year's party, and they all help setting up the Lunar New year's Eve festivities in Amegakure

Offscreen, Konan is the mum of the group.

Tobi has a crush on Konan, and he hates that he does because he thinks he's being disloyal to Rin.

Kakazu's idea of money laundering is literally cleaning his dirty money, especially his coins.

Itachi has a mug declaring himself one of the only two sane Akatsuki members, (Konan has the other), and nobody disputes it.

The Akatsuki has a betting pool about whether Nagato and Konan are directly a couple, or if the Deva path (Yahiko's corpse) is dating her.

Obito sometimes steals Kakashi's Icha Icha collections, and hides them in the Kamui dimension. He also reads them.

Nagato makes Wizard of Oz references when Akatsuki members meet the real him.

Sasori's favourite song is There are no strings on me.

Every Akatsuki member, except Zetsu, Kakazu and Orochimaru, has given Konan valentine's day cards.

In his early days as a member, Itachi would have nightmares, and Konan would take it upon herself to calm him down and comfort him.

Konan's extremely ticklish, and loves being tickled.

Hidan, Kakazu, Zetsu & Sasori make horror movies together.

Sasori, Orochimaru & Kakazu were the Akatsuki's official medics.

Hidan is a Jinchuriki for the spirit of Jashin, his immortality being why he was chosen.

Konan wanted to adopt baby Naruto & Fuu, so they could be raised by the Akatsuki. A sentiment a surprising number of members were all for doing.

Orochimaru's favourite Bleach characters are Mayuri Kurotsuchi & Sosuke Aizen.

The Akatsuki invited Zabuza to join, and he told them he'd consider it since he already had Haku to look after.

Hidan wanted to recruit Raiga, but the rest of the Akatsuki rejected the idea faster than Minato using the hiraishin.

Obito (as both Obito and Tobi) tried to win the Dango eating world championship, and lost to Anko Mitarashi both times.

When the group's all together, Itachi's in charge of breakfast, Konan's in charge of lunch and afternoon tea, Kisame's in charge of dinner, and Sasori's in charge of dessert.

Even though he doesn't have taste buds anymore, Sasori still bakes perfectly.

Deidara's favourite song is TNT

[multifandomnonsense]

People will be like “The Akatsuki are so scary” and it’s literally a guy who hasn’t slept in a week, a weird fish, a DID house plant, an accountant, a guy who’s openly S&M, 2 fucked up art students, a woman who is very good at origami, a guy who won’t quit getting piercings, and a guy who can do a kick ass frilled lizard impression

[cabooseiscool]

Hello friends and such.

Would you like to see some of my favorite pages in the Shippuden manga?

I will show :> part 1.

This one might be very basic. But I think it's such a badass panel. Poor Konan, she did everything right. 5 billion paper bombs, a perfect counter to Kamui, all to be defeated by something she never could have expected.

The panels leading up to this one are good too, but this one is my favorite. Partly because in the anime I really like Tobi's (while impersonating Madara) voice.

Though, I wonder if it's a simple oversight. But if Obito already used Izanagi by this panel, why does he still have two Sharingan?

[ladykissingfish]

Very Random Akatsuki Headcanons

Sasori would 100% have a garden, and most of the stuff he grows would be illegal or highly toxic. He would ask Zetsu for tips a lot and force Deidara to help him weed it even though Deidara will LOUDLY complain about it the whole time. Sasori will gently sing to/ talk to his plants when he thinks no one is looking.

Kisame the type to nag others about how important it is to drink water and stay hydrated but. He has never fully finished one single bottle of water. Any place they are, you can immediately tell that Kisame’s been there because every surface area will have plastic water bottles sitting on it with various levels of water in them.

Hidan has many, many bad teeth, mostly in the back of his mouth. Missing, chipped, cavities or straight rotting. Always in some level of pain but never seeks out help because you know, Lord Jashin encourages personal suffering. Was finally tentacle-held to a chair by Kakuzu and forced to let Sasori do what repair work he could after the others got tired of hearing him curse and grumble all night over his mouth pain. Absolutely loves his new smile afterwards but never admits it.

Every single member of the Akatsuki has at some point had a crush on Konan. Including Zetsu. But it went away once each member started seeing her as a sister or mother figure. The only one it didn’t go away for is Nagato, but he’d never admit his true feelings because he values their friendship and working relationship too much.

Itachi likes to collect rocks. He’s an amateur geologist and enjoys finding different types of stones when he’s out on missions. The others learn this about him and will sometimes take the time after missions or when traveling to pick up “pretty” rocks to bring back to him.

Deidara has a lot of anxiety and restlessness, and keeping himself busy alleviates that. He prefers doing things with his hands which is why he’s always making little sculptures with his clay. If no clay is available he’ll tap or drum his fingers on things or fiddle with his hair. The faster his fingers move it means the more anxious he feels. Sasori would get annoyed by this behavior so he created for Dei what would essentially be a ninja world version of a fidget-spinner. Deidara loved it and he makes sure to pack it with him whenever he leaves on missions.

Nagato’s fingers are often bloody because he’s a nail-biter to the extreme. He’ll chomp those things down right to the quick of the finger. The others will “gift” him gloves to try and prevent this from happening, and it’ll work for while, but sooner or later he’s right back at it again.

Deidara once gained ten pounds in two months because Tobi kept convincing him to stop at sweets cafes while they were out traveling, and then to have seconds and thirds of whatever they were eating.

Kakuzu figured out that Hidan didn’t know how to read when Hidan would avoid looking at the map on missions and kept giving Kakuzu wrong information about sign posts along roads. After a lot of convincing that he wasn’t “making fun of him”, Kakuzu finally got Hidan to let him teach him basic reading and math skills over the course of a year.

When Orochimaru was a part of the Akatsuki, one day he managed to get Konan alone and was hitting on her in a very creepy Jiraiya-esque way. Turns out that he was merely trying to get her to trust him so that, when he ultimately left the Akatsuki, he would be able to convince her to follow so he could study her body and paper-jutsu. Having had no close experiences with women other than Tsunade, who always responded favorably to flirtatious behavior, he’d assumed that this was how ALL women would react. If Itachi hadn’t driven Oro away, Konan would have blindsided and killed him first.

Nagato (in a Pein body) gave the sex talk to Deidara, Hidan and Itachi. All three of them hadn’t the slightest clue about how anything worked in that regard. Sasori gave him diagrams out of his medical books to aid in his talk. Nagato kept having to add on to his talk because of the questions. “What if you’re a guy who likes guys? How does that work?” “What if you don’t like anyone like that, or you don’t want to ever do those kind of things; is that okay?”

In strong sunlight:

Konan burns bright red.

Itachi and Hidan brown.

Zetsu withers.

Nagato dehydrates within two minutes. As does Kisame.

Deidara sprouts freckles.

Sasori smells like a fire.

Obito and his Hashirama cell DNA photosynthesize like a damn tree.

Kakuzu also turns into a freckle-factory but because his skin is already so dark, it’s unnoticeable.

Sasori has fairly moderate misophonia and especially can’t stand the sound of people chewing. It was one of his primary reasons for turning his body into a puppet; so he no longer had to endure the sound of himself eating. He thought he’d died and gone to hell when he found out that Deidara chews food with all three mouths.

Deidara likes Tobi to read to him at night. It gives him a very comfortable sleepy feeling. The more Deidara nods off the more Tobi lets his voice become more natural/Obito. This is pleasant to Obito because doing the “Tobi voice” all day puts a huge strain on his throat, so it’s nice to be able to break character once in a while and speak normally.

Hidan is extremely sensitive to the cold and will do anything to avoid having to travel or do missions in the winter.

Konan has kept a diary of her life ever since she was a child. She picked up the habit of writing during the period when Jiraiya was staying with/watching over her, Nagato and Yahiko.

Deidara developed a hell of a crush on Kakashi after “meeting” and getting his arms blown off by him and the Konoha nin. He’d gush about Kakashi for days afterward … to Tobi. Tobi who had to grit his teeth and not start screaming over how Kakashi unintentionally attracted everyone that Obito was ever interested in.

Best Smelling to Worst Smelling:

Konan

Tobi/Obito

Deidara

Kakuzu

Kisame

Zetsu

Itachi (would be higher but often smells like strong, bitter medicine and night-sweats)

Nagato (his actual body, not a Pein body)

Hidan and Sasori tie for worst because both smell like blood and corpses

Obito never killed his grandmother during the Uchiha massacre. He used a very powerful jutsu to erase her memory and then relocate her to a place in a village far away that took care of the elderly. He pays the facility with the money he earns/steals during missions, and every so often he’ll go and visit her at night, when she’s alone in her room. She doesn’t know who he is and just thinks that he’s a nice young man that’s there because he’s visiting somebody else.

Kisame loves to bake. It started because he was worried over Itachi being so thin and never seeming to want to eat anything other than desserts. So Kisame taught himself how to make cakes and pies and cookies, etc. Over time it became a zen-like activity to him that helps him relax and clear his head when he’s stressed out.

Kakuzu is as vain over his hair as Deidara is over his own. At least once a week they’ll get together and give each other trims and deep conditioning treatments. Sometimes Itachi will join if he feels up to it. Hidan mocks them for this but is secretly trying to grow his hair longer so that he can join them.

[denerturee]

It's 2025 and I don't accept that Kishimoto didn't explore Akatsuki correctly, we had so many incredible characters with bad development and a ridiculous death!!!!

[yowyowyaoi]

*Kakuzu walks into the Akatsuki hideout holding Hidan's hand* Deidara: ... Huh? Itachi: Are ... are you okay, Kakuzu-san? I have never once seen you hold Hidan's hand ... Kakuzu, gruffly: Have no choice. This damn brat went and got himself hit upside the head with a heavy steel pole by an enemy nin. Knocked what little brains he has loose. If I let go, he runs away from me and starts doing odd things. Konan: Odd? Such as? Kakuzu: *sighs and lets go of Hidan's hand* Hidan: *runs to Deidara and lifts him off his feet in a gigantic hug, swinging him around* Hidan: Deidara! My dearest, most precious friend! I love you sooooo much I could just squeeze you to itty bitty pieces! Deidara: *starts crying* H-help ... Hidan: *lets Deidara go and runs to Itachi, also lifting him off his feet* Hidan: Another beloved friend! Just seeing your kind face and hearing your wisdom each day is enough to keep a smile on my face for the entire week! Itachi: ... Hidan: *lets go of Itachi and runs to Konan, bowing low before her and kissing her small hand* Hidan: Beauty such as yours is overlapped only by your tremendous warmth and grace, my dear sweet lady. *Sasori walks into the room* Kakuzu: Thank goodness. Hidan's seemed to have picked up some pretty severe head injuries, and it's drastically effecting his personality. Can you please mix up some sort of tonic to return him to normal, or at the very least sedate him? Sasori: Ah, of course. Bring him into my lab and I'll-- Hidan: *goes to Sasori and stares at him reverently* Hidan: Master Sasori. I admire you most of all. The puppets that you create are absolutely sublime and a perfect embodiment of what true artistic talent is. Sasori: Sasori: ... You know, I don't see any rush to "fix" him, Kakuzu. He seems perfectly fine to me. The others:

@kakuhidaweek