#dont know whats going on there

[cosmicanamnesis]

everybody loves a coffeeshop au pt. 3

[part 1] [part 2] [part 4] [read on ao3]

October 11th

"I have returned with spoils!" Eddie announced, carefully pulling the door of the tattoo parlor open as he balanced six drinks in his arms, using his chin to keep them from moving around too much. He was immediately rushed by the receptionist, Barb, who held the door open and took the top drink carrier from him to lighten the load. "Thanks, B."

"No problem," she smiled. 

"One of those is yours," Eddie nodded as they set all the drinks on the front desk.

"The one with the teabag in it?"

"Oh, I would imagine," Eddie grabbed the large latte and moved it over to the other drink carrier to run everyone else their drinks.

"Ed-man! Thanks bro, sorry to make you do the caffeine run again," Argyle, his boss, yelled as Eddie made his rounds.

"Hey, it's no problem. I gotta do something while I'm here," Eddie dispersed the drinks to everyone, giving Argyle his weird fancy latte thing first.

He'd been officially working with the Three of Cups crew for all of nine and a half hours and he'd already done the coffee run twice. He was newer than their other apprentice, whom he had apparently relieved of this particular duty.

Yesterday it was whatever, he expected to be doing menial work before he actually got to learn or practice anything. Today was… different.

"Hey, Barb, question," Eddie said, sliding back up to the front desk and pulling his hot chocolate out of the carrier. 

"Hm?" Barb hummed, sipping her drink.

"The baristas at the Waystation. You know any of them?"

"Not personally. Why?" Eddie leaned against the desk and sipped his hot chocolate. It tasted better yesterday. "Eddie, you're blushing."

"Hm? Am I?" Eddie felt his cheeks with the back of his hand. Sure enough, his face was very warm. Barb laughed.

"Is there a cute barista over there or something?" she giggled.

"Yeah… Or something." This time Eddie could feel his face flush. 

"What's her name?"

"His name, um… Oh my god, I don't know. I didn't catch it." 

"Well," Barb said, laughing hard. "I'm sure they'll send you back out tomorrow."

Eddie looked forward to the caffeine run every single day after that.

October 15th

"His name is Steve," Eddie said as Barb held the door open for him.

"Steve, huh? That's a pretty boring name for the alleged single prettiest man you've ever seen," Barb said, putting air quotes around the last part.

"God, he's so hot, B." They had started developing a regular dance with the coffee order, Eddie going around delivering drinks to their owners and coming back up to the desk to gossip with Barb for a minute. This time, she was on the phone when he got back up to the front.

"Yep, you are all confirmed. Ah huh. Yup, no problem. Mhm, bye." She hung up the phone and turned to Eddie, pushing her glasses up. "Okay, I'll bite. Describe him."

"I'll do you one better," Eddie smiled, digging his phone out of his pocket. He fiddled with it for a minute and passed it to her.

"Eddie,” she scolded, taking his phone. “You snuck a pic- oh my god."

"Right?"

"No. Oh my god. Eddie, do you know his last name?"

"Are you kidding? I barely know his first name."

"Fair. But I'm pretty sure this is Nancy's high school ex."

"You're fucking joking. No way."

"I promise you I would not lie about this. Hang on. Send me this picture, I'll ask her."

Eddie hadn't met Nancy yet, but he'd heard about her. She was Argyle's boyfriend's other partner, and she and Argyle were "the very best of bros" according to him. Barb was Nancy's… Something. Eddie wasn't sure, given the situation, if they were romantically involved or just long-time best friends, and he didn't feel like he was in a position to ask. Either way, it was this game of relationship telephone that had Barb working as the receptionist at Argyle's tattoo parlor.

He did as she asked and sent her the picture of Steve. It was a nice picture, Eddie had to admit. He wasn't a photographer by any means, but it was a clear side profile of Steve prepping espresso shots. It was probably the nicest picture he'd ever taken of anyone.

Barb, still staring at her phone, started tapping the desk to get his attention.

"I knew it! She says yes, that's Steve and yes, he's bisexual so go ahead and shoot your shot."

Eddie almost choked on his hot chocolate.

"Woah, B, I think you might both be jumping the gun there," he said, clearing his throat. Barb set her phone down and looked at him incredulously.

"Please, Eddie, you practically had hearts in your eyes when you came in." 

"I- I did not," Eddie stuttered, face growing warmer with every passing second. Barb was just staring at him, one eyebrow cocked.

"Okay, Eddie, sure."

November 18th

"I literally have no idea what's happening." Eddie had done the coffee run basically every day for a month and every signal he got from Steve was contradictory to the last. 

"Do tell," Barb asked. Nancy was standing behind the desk with her today, just visiting. Eddie had met both her and Jonathan a few times by this point, and god he was glad she was there today.

"I don't get it. He is always the one taking our order. And I keep thinking I catch him looking at me, but he never says anything! And I think he might be dating one of his coworkers? They're like, weirdly friendly with each other. But then he smiles at me like… I dunno. And sometimes he'll grab the door for me if they aren't busy… Nance. Level with me. What the fuck is he doing?"

"Well," Nancy laughed. "I'm pretty sure he isn't dating anybody right now, but I haven't actually talked to him myself in years so I could be wrong. If he's flirting with you, he's being very subtle… Maybe he's worried that you're straight! It's not like you go around waving a pride flag or anything."

Eddie thought for a minute, holding his cup to his lips but not actually drinking from it.

"I mean, okay, that's fair. What do I do? Barb, how can I make myself look more gay?"

Barb stared at him for a long moment, flicking her gaze over all of him that she could see from her side of the reception desk.

"Hang on," she said, getting up and sliding past Nancy, heading back to the break room. Eddie and Nancy shared a moment of confusion while Barb was gone. She came back a minute later and walked right up to Eddie, pinning something to his vest.

"Oh, yeah, that might do it," Nancy nodded.

"What? What did you just put on me?" Eddie pulled at his vest, looking for the new pin.

"Pronoun pin," Barb said, tapping on it. Sure enough, there was a small red button with He/Him in white lettering sitting amongst the rest of his collection.

"Why did you have this?" Eddie laughed.

"I volunteer at the Pride center at the college. I've got every pronoun you've ever heard of and probably some you haven't on a pin in my backpack."

"Huh. Alright."

"It might take a while for him to notice," Nancy warned. "If he really has been checking you out, maybe sooner rather than later, but be patient with him. He had a couple concussions in high school."

"A couple?"

"Yeah. Sports, and he got into a lot of fights."

"Lost a lot of fights," Barb corrected.

"I mean. I think he won… one or two, maybe, but yeah."

It took almost no time at all, in fact, for Steve to notice the pin. A few days later, the next time Eddie's coffee run overlapped with Steve's shift, he caught Steve's eyes flick down to the pins on his chest while he dropped his change in the tip jar. Eddie tried to flash him his sweetest smile, but he wasn't exactly a naturally charming guy. Nevertheless, even though Steve kept up his streak of not saying anything, he could barely keep his eyes off Eddie to the point that he nearly burned himself cleaning the steam wand. Eddie politely pretended he didn't just watch the whole thing happen. 

December 3rd

"He talked to me," Eddie said, almost shaking with excitement but determined not to drop anything.

"Oh yeah?" Barb smiled as they went through the routine.

"Yeah! Is it supposed to snow today?"

"What?"

"I- Okay, I promise it's related, hang on." Eddie had never handed everyone their drinks so fast. "I don't know what version of Steve Harrington you guys knew in school, but this Steve is kind of a dork."

"You say with all the love in your heart, I'm sure," Barb smiled, leaning back in her chair as Eddie came around to stand behind the desk with her. "I just checked. Yes, it's supposed to snow, but not till tonight."

"Steve says sooner."

"What, does he dabble in meteorology or something now?" Barb chuckled.

"Nah, he just asked if it was snowing yet because I guess all the early bird old people with trick knees have been bitching all morning."

"He talked to you… About the weather?"

"Yeah, see? Dork! But it was like, a whole conversation, and he started it!"

“Alright, a win is a win I suppose,” Barb shrugged as the phone began to ring. Eddie took that as his cue to actually go do his job.

About half an hour later, Barb spun around in her chair and yelled at him to get his attention.

"What?" Eddie looked up at her. She smiled, pointing out the front window as fat snowflakes started lazily drifting down.

"Snowing," she added, in case he didn't get the message.

"Well, I'll be damned…"

After that, making small talk with Steve seemed easier. It was never anything serious, always "how's your day" and such, but they were talking. To Eddie, talking to Steve felt as natural as breathing. It never felt awkward or embarrassing. Something about him just drew Eddie in. Steve has that effect on people, Nancy assured him.

December 15th

"Dude, I swear on my mother, if you don't ask him out, I will do it for you."

Eddie was lying on Gareth's bedroom floor telling him for the hundredth time about his crush on his regular barista. Gareth was sitting on his bed, trying in vain to do homework.

"It's not that simp-"

"Oh, shut the fuck up with the it's not that simple crap! It really is that simple! Give him your number, say you wanna hang out!"

"Oh, and what, bring him back to my house so Wayne can scare him off?"

"I don't know, go see a movie or something! Jesus, Ed, it's like you've never dated anyone before."

"I've never been the one doing the asking, no!"

"Oh my god you're gonna give me an aneurysm."

December 30th, Morning

Okay. This was it. Today was the day. He had a plan. He was gonna give Steve his number and invite him to the party. Easy peasy. Nothing was going to stop him.

Except Steve not being there.

Well, shit.

"How'd it go?" Barb asked, already at the door.

"It didn't," Eddie grumbled.

"What do you mean?"

"He wasn't there."

"What? Why? He's normally there on-"

"Yeah, B, I know. He wasn't there."

"I wonder if he's sick?"

"He seemed fine yesterday… Oh, great, thanks Barb, now I'm worried something happened to him."

"Sorry," Barb gave him a sympathetic smile and sipped her drink.

Eddie did his best to combat any anxious thoughts that came up during his shift and go about his day as normal.

"Eddie!" Barb yelled, almost a moment too late as Steve walked past the shop about halfway through Eddie's shift. 

When Eddie looked up, Steve was backtracking, looking in the window directly at him. He flashed Eddie a smile that made his heart skip and waved before going, presumably, to the Waystation.

"Argyle, can I-"

"Hit him with your best shot, lover boy," Argyle said, holding a thumbs up to him from across the room, not looking away from the client in his chair. Eddie bolted immediately, grabbing his coat out of the back and rushing out the door.

He stopped just out of view of the coffee shop to steady his breathing. This was it. It had to be. 

Alright, Munson, go time.

And oh god he actually flirted a little bit on purpose. Success.

Except, no. He was halfway back to the Three of Cups when he realized he forgot what he originally went in for. Shit. 

When he finally got back to the tattoo parlor, he pressed his back to the front door, counting his breaths. Barb raised her eyebrows at him. He couldn't help it, he broke out into a grin that made his cheeks hurt and nodded at her, their silent conversation probably confusing the hell out of the clients waiting in the lobby.

He checked his phone once he'd shed his coat in the break room and found a text from an unknown number. He texted back right away and saved the contact.

my coffee guy<3

--------

appreciating all the love, guys <3 i am accepting title suggestions somebody please help (this will go up on ao3 once i have a name for it lmao sorry)

tagging: @original-cypher @avacrebs @dangdirtydemons @rainydays35 @changenamelater @phantypurple @alienace @renaissan-vvitch @krazyperson @dreammetheworld08 @steddiereid @kittsu-makes-glass @i-must-potato @jaywhohasthegay @steveisabicon @henderdads

[yeepof]

Local PHD student at wizard school HARRASSED!! FOR SHAME!!

[mikufanclub]

whenevr i draw a fish maid usually the reference pic is some middle aged white guy. im forcemaiding them

[hauntedorpheum]

Carrie (1976) dir. Brian De Palma The Silence of the Lambs (1991) dir. Jonathan Demme Se7en (1995) dir. David Fincher Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004) dir. Raja Gosnell Zodiac (2007) dir. David Fincher Jennifer's Body (2009) dir. Karyn Kusama The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) dir. David Fincher Paranorman (2012) dir. Sam Fell, Chris Butler Last Night in Soho (2021) dir. Edgar Wright

[heedra]

talking to preschoolers is awesome bc they have not fully differentiated stories into 'true stories' and 'imaginary stories' yet so you will tell them about something that happened you once (coyote came out of a bush right in front of you and got startled) and they will tell you about how one time their house was full of coyotes in every room 'including five in the garage' and they're not even like, aware i think of the idea that they are technically 'lying'. they are simply telling stories about coyotes bc its time to tell stories about coyotes.

[greykolla-art]

I was rereading Skulduggery Pleasant and realised it was a goldmine for cute Alastor & Charlie moments.👌

I’m gonna project genuine friendship onto these fuckers and you can’t stop me!

[umblrspectrum]

so like is it specifically planets the solver craves or can it get by with just eating dirt off the ground

[hinamie]

spiraling

[mairodia]

My addition to the Mikus of the world. Been feeling very bittersweet bc I am moving away soon to go to grad school on the east coast, so here is my send up of the LBC, Miku-style 🌴🩵 and yes she smokes weed

You can find a timelapse of this drawing at patreon.com/mairodia :)

[doomdoomofdoom]

Kamala Harris does want "transgender surgery on illegal aliens that are in prison", btw.

So since Trumpists are getting mad enough about the jokes to actually cite their sources, I thought I'd put the source out into my left extremist commie faggot echo chamber, too.

The claim originates from an ACLU questionnaire she filled out for her 2020 presidential candidacy, specifically this section:

She wasn't given a new questionnaire for 2024, and has stated that while her policy on some things may have changed, her values had not. (This most likely means she moved more to the center to appease larger demographics and cut corners to reach compromises. The basic politician stuff.)

It boils down to this: If you're in prison, whether for "illegal" immigration or other crimes, you rely on the state to provide you with necessary amenities, like food and health care. Her argument isn't "hell yeah everyone in prison should get sex changes for free". It's "gender affirming surgery is a necessary medical procedure. If you are in the states care while this becomes necessary, the state should provide it." If you're outraged by your tax money being used on this, consider the massive amount of people being incarcerated in for-profit prisons, on your dime. Then ask yourself if maybe a prison reform might be in order.

Worth noting: In 2015, while Attorney General, Kamala Harris actually argued against providing gender-affirming surgery to an incarcerated trans woman, claiming that HRT and psychotherapy were sufficiently covering her medical needs. She has since obviously changed her stance and assumed responsibility. (I would like to take this moment to remind my fellow left extremist commie faggots that "willingness to learn and rethink your views" is infinitely more valuable than "perfect from the start and unwilling to listen to anyone")

Also found in the source: This image of Kamala Harris participating in the 2019 San Francisco Pride Parade, wearing what I believe to be a sequin rainbow embroidered denim jacket.

I encourage you to read the provided CNN article and the answers to the ACLU questionnaire, as they give great insight into her values.

TLDR: Based.

[coolxatu]

hey got some important news. the affordable connectivity program that helps poor and disabled people afford internet is going to run out of funding by april 2024 if we can't convince congress to renew it

i know emailing and calling politicians often seems like a waste of time, but this is gonna hurt alot of people (myself included) if this program is allowed to disappear. we really need to raise some awareness and get this program the funding that it needs. ACP is a game changer for literally millions of people. this is the only way many homes can even get internet, and in this day and age internet access is pretty much a necessity for almost everything. its gonna be a huge blow to have this vital program taken away from those who depend on it.

[bloominglegumes]

i love normal guys doomed by the narrative

[bluerosefox]

Siblings Behavior

It's shenanigans time guys

So have this DpxDc idea.

So, the Justice League and the Light (OR villains in general) have two newish members, they've both been around for about a year and they're from the same plane of existence (a place called the Infinite Realms according to those who dabble in the occult)

And the two seem to have some serious beef with each other.

Wisp and Wrath are basicly feral cats hissing and hekles raised when they spot the other and their fights normally ends in draws. They're evenly matched and sometimes the two even fight to the point they are out of steam and just fist fight.

Needless to say everyone believes they totally hate each other and might one day kill (or end?) One of them.

So everything gets turned upside down when suddenly both factions of heros and villains are suddenly summoned to the Infinite Realms.

In a throne room.

In front of the Infinite King (or most commonly known as the Ghost King)

A King who looks very, very much like Wisp and Wrath (like yeah the two do sometimes look alike, like when they grin with sharp teeth and their hair color, but one has blue skin and red eyes for crying out loud!)

He's staring at them, glowing green eyes that seemed to just... know.

"Welcome to the Infinite Realms. I am King Phantom." His voice echoing in the throne room and seemed to rattle them deeply, like a sudden chill in the early morning.

"I have summoned you all here for a single reason." He continued to say "Tell me..."

Here he paused, closed his eyes before leaning back on the chair then he smiled big and cheerfully asked.

"How are my kids doing in your world? Dan and Ellie aren't causing too much chaos in their wake are they? They tend to go a tiny bit overboard sometimes but what siblings don't when they rough house you know. Tell me everything."

[buggachat]

the one thing i wish is that Ladybug and Chat Noir had reasons to go "undercover" places. as civilians. where they are both staking out the same location but don't know each other's identities so it's always a disaster. they either get distracted because adrien and marinette bump into each other in strange places and end up having long awkward conversations instead of working, or, in adrienette-never-met sort of AUs, somehow end up suspecting each other every time. one time adrien disguises himself as a woman because he can't risk being seen as Adrien Agreste™ and marinette thinks she's met The Most Beautiful Woman in the World and has a bi panic until she finds out it was Chat fucking Noir and she's fucking pissed

[inkskinned]

i love when words fit right. seize was always supposed to be that word, and so was jester. tuesday isn't quite right but thursday should be thursday, that's a good word for it. daisy has the perfect shape to it, almost like you're laughing when you say it; and tulip is correct most of the time. while keynote is fun to say, it's super wrong - i think they have to change the label for that one. but fox is spot-on.

most words are just, like, good enough, even if what they are describing is lovely. the night sky is a fine term for it but it isn't perfect the way november is the correct term for that month.

it's not just in english because in spanish the phrase eso si que es is correct, it should be that. sometimes other languages are also better than the english words, like how blue is sloped too far downwards but azul is perfect and hangs in the air like glitter. while butterfly is sweet, i think probably papillion is more correct, although for some butterflies féileacán is much better. year is fine but bliain is better. sometimes multiple languages got it right though, like how jueves and Πέμπτη are also the right names for thursday. maybe we as a species are just really good at naming thursdays.

and if we were really bored and had a moment and a picnic to split we could all sit down for a moment and sort out all the words that exist and find all the perfect words in every language. i would show you that while i like the word tree (it makes you smile to say it), i think arbor is correct. you could teach me from your language what words fit the right way, and that would be very exciting (exciting is not correct, it's just fine).

i think probably this is what was happening at the tower of babel, before the languages all got shifted across the world and smudged by the hand of god. by the way, hand isn't quite right, but i do like that the word god is only 3 letters, and that it is shaped like it is reflecting into itself, and that it kind of makes your mouth move into an echoing chapel when you cluck it. but the word god could also fit really well with a coathanger, and i can't explain that. i think donut has (weirdly) the same shape as a toothbrush, but we really got bagel right and i am really grateful for that.

grateful is close, but not like thunder. hopefully one day i am going to figure out how to shape the way i love my friends into a little ceramic (ceramic is very good, almost perfect) pot and when they hold it they can feel the weight of my care for them. they can put a plant in there. maybe a daisy.

[sex-tech]

Reunion