#guys go read those books they are like half my personality
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whentherewerebicycles · 1 day ago
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ok and now some thoughts about my early experience of parenting.
it kinda rocks... i really like it. i will definitely have a second kid if finances and biology work out. my life is so much better with this little guy in it. the sacrifices so far are mostly minor and are much more logistical than personal. i have to work more hours than i'd ideally want to because there's only one paycheck. i have to try to cobble together more sleep than i used to because i am pretty tired at the end of the day. i can't go to the gym or run an errand or go write at a coffeeshop for a few hours without hiring a sitter or asking my friends to help out. but the tradeoff is i get to be this little kid's mom. he thinks i'm pretty funny and he's interested in everything i do and he calls to me to get me to come over to his mat and talk to him and he likes to grab my face and hold it still so he can study it real intently and when he's upset he wants me to snuggle him until he feels better. i would pick that over getting to run into a store without the stroller a million times over.
i remember reading this book years ago where someone (paulo freire? someone influenced by freire's pedagogy?) recommended that all teachers, no matter how long they'd been teaching, carve out time every six months to reflect on their teaching practices and consider whether those practices were aligned with their core/guiding values as educators. i obviously love this idea because i was born to engage in sustained reflective journaling about my values lol. but also: i do think there's value in setting aside time at regular intervals to check in with yourself about the way you are living, or about whatever you are practicing, whether it's teaching or your work with others or, in this case, parenting. so idk i might try using his birthday and half birthday as time to journal both about my kid and about my own practice of parenting.
do i have a practice of parenting?? that sounds too fancy for someone who is only six months in lol. but i do enjoy thinking about what i'm doing and i like trying to connect the day-to-day choices i'm making to larger principles. i have written about this before but idk i think i am somebody who derives a strong sense of security and groundedness from having a loose framework of guiding values i can refer to when making decisions. and i guess in this first round of reflective journaling i will try to articulate what some of those emerging values/principles are. here we go:
I am making a conscious effort to not sweat the small stuff. there are one million things you can be worried or stressed about in parenting. and there are one million ways you can fall into the trap of thinking that if you just control every single variable nothing bad will happen to your kid. i am trying, inasmuch as i can, to avoid at least a few ways of falling into that trap. i have worked really hard to choose flexibility instead of rigidity when it comes to, for instance, letting other people care for my kid. it's okay if people do things differently than i would - as long as he's safe, he can only benefit from being exposed to different caretaking styles and adapting to different people's ways of engaging with him. i also made a decision early on to not engage with any parenting content on social media (this means ignoring the dozens of insta reels my mom sends me every week lol) and that has been really healthy/good for me. there is TOO MUCH information out there. it is way too overwhelming. you could spend your whole life worrying and i want to spend my life doing other things, like funny accents and comedy bits for the baby.
i am working hard to not interpret other people's parenting choices as a judgment of my own. i really believe that there are lots of different ways to raise healthy, well-adjusted kids. we can make different choices (small and big choices!) and still arrive at the same outcomes. i just really don't want to be the kind of person who takes it personally when people do something differently than i would've! i want to be secure enough in my choices to be able to accept and appreciate a whole range of other parenting styles. i also want to be humble enough to realize that i don't have it all figured out and might learn something from reflecting on someone else's parenting choices. anyway this has been a challenging one as i sometimes DO feel quite judged or shamed by other people's choices. but i also think it's ok to feel that reaction as long as i can keep making space for myself to take a deep breath and think through why i feel like that. idk! work in progress but i've only had six months of practice lol.
i am also trying not to interpret other people's anxieties as anything other than them working through their own stuff. to give one example: i love my mom so much but she is just, like, vibrating out of her skin with anxiety at all times about literally everything. and she has really found an outlet for that anxiety in grandparenting. i get dozens of texts a week about what exercises i should be doing with him and what experiences i should be making sure he has and where i should be taking him and what i should be saying to him and what i should be asking the doctor about and so on and so forth. this obviously could be pretty stressful, and i know that my brother and SIL find it so stressful that it is kind of negatively impacting their relationship with her. but idk i feel like with my mom i spent a lot of my life taking her anxieties personally, thinking that she thought i was incompetent/incapable/irresponsible/whatever. and then at some point in the last few years i was just like oh... this isn't about me at all, is it? this has absolutely nothing to do with me. this is just her fear and her terror of doing things wrong and her overwhelming need to avoid shame, and all of that emotional stuff just happens to be playing out in this relationship because we are close enough that she can lets her emotional walls down and let me see the churning river of anxiety that runs through the heart of her life. i wish that she didn't feel like that. but it's also not something i can fix or change. the only thing that is within my control is the choice not to take it personally, which in turn helps me put some guardrails around it so that it doesn't impact our relationship. idk i think this will probably be an ongoing thing i have to sort through for myself. but also she is who she is and i love her and it is important to me that she be a big part of owen's life. so we will figure it out.
I refuse to optimize my parenting because i refuse to see my child as a thing that needs to be optimized. this is in some ways hard for me because in many respects i am all-in on the very american philosophy that everything can be improved endlessly, including yourself and your family, if you just work harder and care more and give endlessly of yourself to the work. but nope! nope. not for parenting. not for my kid. i want him to have experiences and be exposed to new things, but not so he can "get ahead" or excel in things. i want him to be curious, engaged, interested, flexible, alive to the world, open to new things. i do not care if he is bilingual by age four or has a STEM curriculum at his daycare or goes to a top college or whatever. and i want the choices i make about what we do together and how we spend our time to reflect that. idk he's still so little that this is not super relevant yet but i can feel some of it creeping in.
lastly: i am trying to approach all aspects of parenting with the fundamental belief that i am and will be a good parent. i feel like our culture wants women in particular to spend all their time feeling guilty and inadequate as mothers. we also don't get a lot of external feedback on whether or not we're doing a good job as parents, which i think can make us frantic for validation and riddled with self-doubt over whether we are doing Enough. but i want to just like, try to cut some of that out and just answer it for myself. i'm doing a great job. i'm a great mom. i love my kid and my kid loves me. as i learn more about my child and myself as a parent i will undoubtedly adjust my approach to parenting many times, but making adjustments doesn't mean i was doing something "wrong" or "bad" before. it just means i want to try something new or shift gears a little bit. idk maybe this sounds dumb but i actually think it is proving kind of powerful so far as a strategy for managing parenting anxiety. i just assume that my parenting instincts are reasonably good and will guide me to make reasonably good choices, and if something turns out not to work, i assume i am a good enough parent to figure it out and adapt accordingly.
ok!! good journaling session and now it's time for bed!!
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greykolla-art · 8 months ago
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I was rereading Skulduggery Pleasant and realised it was a goldmine for cute Alastor & Charlie moments.👌
I’m gonna project genuine friendship onto these fuckers and you can’t stop me!
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thefictionshelf · 2 years ago
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can't believe the sun and the star is out. shaking etc etc
#i get in august b/c of hold lists#which is fine my me b/c i never actually finished TOA when i originally read pjo/hoo/toa so im taking this time to do that#ik it came out like a week ago but it's really hitting me b/c im rereading hidden oracle#like. im going to get to see my boy!! my little guy!!!!#like. just the fact that people have read it. and that it's getting good reviews#like finally. after all of it! a real attempt at payoff#a real deep dive on his grief. everything he's been through. and how he's letting himself love and care anyway. fucking screams#i don't think it features any segments from right after gaea's war which is a bit :( but like still i just#i'm so fucking hype. just. for the person in the story who has the MOST reason to feel like the universe is against him#that he's inherently miserable or unlovable but it's just not true!!! and the way will helps him see that without looking away from his#pain#that on it's face#that premise is ridiculous. you're like anyone else. you're soft. you're soft. you're soft.#and that kind of idea- it serves a purpose. to give the suffering meaning. to justify it. to make it make sense#but the truth is it's not fair or cosmically divined. it just is. and it's not fair but it doesn't have to define him like!!! FUCK#sorry i just go insane crazy over those scenes at the end of BOO. the fact that it took 8 years to properly deliver on that is. gugh#i'm also just excited to be be back at camp half blood. <#excited for the fun stuff too!! not just the bummers#will is only in a handful of scenes ever prior to this book but he is painted so vividly and im so excited to see what they do with him#in an alternate universe there is a version of will that is just stale ass wonder bread but he's so interesting and rich and!!!!#like funny. i don't even mean personality just like. situationally#only medic in never-once-has passed an osha inspection the camp is inherently comedic#but on top of that straight man (ha) to a cabin full of dramatic children is. it's just ripe#even like the whistle thing is so fucking funny. it's such a good detail#the way his complete lack of skill in anything but medicine don't stop him from fucking around and finding out#the constant trapeze act of holding it together and open vulnerability to manage a level of responsibility that should not be on the#shoulders of a 16 year old! and he's doing a great job!#mmg. just. excited#pjo
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reiding-writing · 11 months ago
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since you are a person of angst, i was thinking about spencer x reader where in the heat of an argument, spencer says he will only forgive her when she dies.
so in one of the cases the reader is shot by spencer and sighs "now you can finally forgive me"
happy or sad ending, whatever you want
muah 💘
forgiven — s.reid
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Summary:
You lied to him with good intentions, but when he finds out the truth he says something detrimental in the heat of the moment. After weeks of radio silence any chance of reconciliation is almost lost after you get critically injured in the field.
WARNINGS: SPOILERS FOR IAN DOYLE ARC, harsh arguments, death wishes, gun mentions, major character injury, details of gun related injury, happy ending
spencer reid x gn!reader || ANGST || 3.7k || masterlist!!
a/n: left the ending up to majority vote and majority vote said happy ending, you guys are so boring /j
happy ending or not this is still nice and jam packed with angst for all my angst enjoyers <3
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Emily Prentiss had been buried for seven months.
So how on earth was she stood five feet away from Spencer with a half guilty expression on her face like she’d put salt in his coffee rather than the fact that she’d been in Paris, fully alive and well whilst he mourned her ‘death’ for months.
But he couldn’t be mad at her. Of course he couldn’t.
Instead his gaze turned towards the way Hotch, JJ, and you were stood at the head of the table, completely unfazed whilst the rest of the team stood in shock at the fact that the friend that they’d buried was still alive.
He couldn’t help that small feeling of loathing mixing with the shock when Emily pulled him into a hug, his arms loosely rested around her back as his eyes narrowed slightly in your direction.
He’d let you see him at his absolute worst, an emotional, crying, pathetic mess of a person who was desperately mourning over the loss of one of his closest friends.
And you’d let him. Whilst knowing that Emily was still alive.
His emotional state had gotten so bad over the last few months that you’d even temporarily moved him in with you to make sure he wasn’t endangering himself.
He’d spiralled into a state where he couldn’t be trusted to live on his own. And you’d let him.
He didn’t speak to you during your drive home that night, and you knew why.
You knew he was going to be angry at you, and you couldn’t blame him for it.
What you didn’t expect, was for him to immediately start unrooting himself from your apartment; Clearing out drawers and stuffing his clothes in the suitcase hidden in one of the cupboards.
“Spencer what are you doing-” You barely manage to step out of the way before Spencer walked right into you with an armful of books in his hands as he pulled them from the bookshelf in your living room.
He stacks them neatly in the corner of the open case laid on top of his bed as you stand in the doorway of your guest room turned Spencer’s bedroom, clear concern written all over your face.
“I’m going home.” Spencer’s reply is blunt, flat, with the tiniest amount of hurt lacing his tone if you were to listen closely enough.
“Spence-” You block his exit from the room with your body as he attempts to make a second trip to clear your shelves of his books. “Can we just take a second to talk about this?”
“About what? The fact that you lied to me for seven months?” He takes a step back from you as you block the doorway, looking you directly in the eyes to make sure that you could read every semblance of hurt, loathing, and betrayal that swam in his irises.
“The fact that I trusted you to the point where I let you see me at my lowest and you knew everything I was grieving over was a lie?” Spencer had given up trying to leave the room, clearing out anything left in the bedroom instead and zipping the suitcase shut.
“The fact that you let me spiral to the point where I was considering relapsing and couldn’t be trusted to live on my own?”
“Spencer-”
“I confided in you. I told you everything. All those nights I spent sobbing in your arms talking about how I just wanted the pain to stop and you left me in the dark.” He was borderline shouting at you by now, his eyes glassed over with tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks and a lump in his throat that rended his composure shattered.
“I wish I could’ve told you Spencer but I couldn’t-”
“You couldn’t?” Spencer cuts you off before you have the time to try and explain yourself. “Or you wouldn’t?”
“I couldn’t- Spence I wanted to tell you I really did but Emily’s life was in danger-” You try to explain yourself whilst he’s giving you the time to do so, words falling out of your mouth as fast as your brain will let them form. “I couldn’t say anything without risking breaking her cover and sending her right back into Doyle’s grasp..”
“What about my life?” Spencer’s voice cracked slightly as he looked at you, a light flush covering his face from his frustration. “I spent ten weeks under 24/7 supervision because my mental state was so bad-”
“You know me. You know I wouldn’t have said anything. And you let me ruin my own mental state anyway.” The end of his negation of your explanation is marked by the suitcases wheels hitting the wooden flooring.
“Look i’m sorry okay? I didn’t-”
“What? didn’t mean to let it go so far? Didn’t mean to let me consider relapsing and washing any progress i’d made over the last four years down the drain?” He pushes past you with considerable force to make his way towards the front door of your apartment with his suitcase in hand. “Well it’s too late for that isn’t it?”
“Spencer wait-” You grasp at his wrist in a moment of desperation, silently begging for him not to leave. “I’m sorry,”
“I’m so, so sorry and you have every right to be angry at me and I know that keeping it from you was wrong-” Your desperation shows through your voice, through the stray tear that rolls down your left cheek and pools under your chin. “Just- let’s talk about this, please,”
“We just did.” Spencer’s voice is much harsher than you’re used to, although he removes your hand from his wrist with a whisper of his usual gentle nature that you wish would take over the rest of his personality as he pulls your door open to leave.
“I was just trying to protect her-” Your voice hitches at the end of your sentence, stray tears turning into a steady flow that dapples your white shirt in damp circles. “..please forgive me…”
Your voice is hardly a whisper by the time you’re finished, although Spencer’s expression does not match the softness in your tone.
Nor does his response.
“I’ll forgive you when you’re six feet under like she was.”
“Spencer-”
You barely have time to be shocked by his words before the front door of your apartment is closed harshly in your face, Spencer’s presence replaced by the ghost of his cologne and a sharp coldness that runs its way up your spine.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
It’d been three weeks.
And aside from asking Morgan to keep an eye on him you hadn’t so much as mentioned Spencer once.
It was a little difficult considering his desk was directly opposite yours, but a mix of wanting to respect his personal space and still being hurt by his comment allows you to keep to yourself no matter how close he was.
You’re thankful that the team hasn’t said anything, but you’re sure they’ll only respect your privacy until it interferes with the case you’re working on.
Emily had tried to talk Spencer down from his underlying anger to no avail during the plane ride, and despite the countless times that Hotch had taken full responsibility for keeping Emily’s living status a secret, it didn’t stop Spencer from sending you half-glares across the station or refuting any suggestion you gave with an overcomplicated explanation of why you were wrong.
By the fourth day you were on the verge of snapping at him, the Texas heat melding with his snark and making you want to tear all of your skin from your face.
You definitely weren’t in the right mental state to enter an active shooter situation, but as you followed Morgan into the building with your 9mm planted firmly between your hands, all you could think about is the conversation you were going to force Spencer into having with you once all of this was over.
You were so tired of being in this stalemate with him, you just wanted your Spencer back.
The one who would trap you on your couch so he could explain the Doctor Who lore in explicit detail with that bright starry look in his eyes the longer you let him ramble.
It was just radio silence. And you couldn’t bare it anymore.
Your mind was clouded by your own thoughts as you swept the building, and you suppose you only have yourself to blame for not hearing the unfamiliar footsteps behind you until it’s too late.
You turn on your heels towards the noise, expecting it to be Morgan or even Spencer, finished with sweeping the floor and ready to move on.
Instead you’re met by a sharp bang that rings through your ears and a pain in your throat that makes your breath catch and your legs fail underneath you.
Your left hand comes straight to your throat, immediately coated in the dark red liquid escaping from the new hole created in your body, and you manage to fire a shot in the direction of your assailant as he runs, although whether you actually hit him or not you’re not sure.
It takes less than ten seconds for your team members to arrive at your side, and you desperately point in the direction that the UnSub had ran off in as you try and refrain from coughing up blood and in turn flooding your lungs.
Morgan and Emily share a look before running off in your pointed direction. Spencer however, ignores your arm completely and rushes to kneel at your side, dropping his gun on the floor in the process and frantically holding the radio button on his watch to yell out his need for medical services.
“You’re going to be fine- Everything’s going to be fine-” You can practically feel the panic emanating from his body, his hands trembling as he tugged his bullet proof vest from his chest to tear at the hem of his shirt and use it to block the bullet hole in your throat as your hand compression weakened with your blood loss.
You can tell he was trying to reassure you, but it didn’t sound all that convincing, even to himself.
His right hand added a copious amount of pressure to the front of your throat as he aided you into the recovery position, checking the nape of your neck for an exit wound. Nothing.
A soft “two minutes” echoes back through the radio speaker in his watch and though he tries to mutter it under his breath to not freak you out any further, you can hear his uncertain “that’s too long,” even through the tinnitus plaguing your ears.
You cough up the clotted chunks of oxidised blood stuck in your oesophagus onto the floor beneath you, and Spencer makes an effort to protect your head from the floor by elevating it on his thigh.
“You’re going to be fine-” Spencer sounds more panicked than you as his eyes blink with tears, unable to be wiped as they fall down his cheeks from the red staining against his fingers and the ever present pressure he’s adding to your injury.
“Does this mean you’re going to forgive me now?” You choke out the words alongside what could barely be considered a laugh as it leaves you hacking up more blood through your mouth, your attempt at lightening the mood falling on deaf ears as it sends Spencer into a fit of tears.
“I’m so sorry-” Spencer’s tears run hot against his cheeks, pooling at his chin and falling onto the ripped fabric of his shirt he was using to try and stop your throat from bleeding. “I’m so sorry for yelling at you and barging out and just being awful to you I’m sorry-”
The distinct sounds of sirens sound over Spencer’s profuse apology and you can see the relief flood his face as he hears them. “You hear that? You’re gonna be okay, they’re gonna get you to a hospital and you’re gonna be fine,”
He nodded determinedly at you, more like he’s trying to convince himself than convince you.
He neglected to tell you about the fact that gunshot wounds to the neck held a 78% mortality rate, or how when they obstruct major airways that number jumps to 92%.
It was fine. You would be fine.
He can hear the pounding footsteps of the medical team as they breach the building, yelling out in their direction with as much composure as he can muster.
He helped the medical team carefully position you on a stretcher so they could rush you into the ambulance, and he runs alongside you, giving the EMTs as much information as he can.
“They were shot by a 7.5mm two minutes and forty seconds ago, it breached their trachea but there’s no exit wound so it’s likely lodged in the back of their oesophagus-” Spencer speaks through heaved breaths as his body fights to take in oxygen over his will to help the EMTs treat you as quickly as possible, following them into the back of the ambulance.
“They’ve been conscious the whole time this far but I think they’re going through pulmonary edema and-”
“Spence-” Your voice is barely audible through your struggle to breathe, joined by the pressure on your throat as well as under your diaphragm as one of the EMTs checks for signs of your lungs being flooded. “Don’t backseat doctor-”
The fact that you’re still conscious enough to lightly chastise him makes Spencer feel a little less panicked, although removing a pebble from a mountain doesn’t affect its height.
By the time you reach the hospital, you’re unconscious but not yet critical, and he almost follows you right into the OR until he’s blocked from the door by one of the nurses and escorted into the waiting area.
“Well let you know the second anything changes Dr Reid,”
He nods hastily as he sits down, fiddling with his fingers and tapping his feet against the linoleum floors.
You weren’t critical yet, but that didn’t mean that you’d pull through. You had flooded lungs and a bullet lodged somewhere in the back of your throat that they were going to surgically remove.
If something went wrong, that was it.
Spencer spends the first thirty minutes mentally beating himself up.
Why did he lash out at you? You were only doing what you thought was best to protect Emily.
Why did he say he’d only forgive you if you died? You didn’t mean to cause him any harm.
Why was he constantly managing to ruin anything positive that was happening between the two of you?
Maybe he was cursed.
Cursed to live a life of eternal suffering as the perpetual cost for the gift of his intelligence.
He would give up every IQ point he had if it meant that you would recover with no complications.
He would sacrifice his eidetic memory in an instant if it meant he got to make new ones with you.
He’d give up everything that he was prided on as long as you were okay. You needed to be okay.
The next forty-five minutes was spent in an anxious silence. The team had rushed to the hospital as soon as they’d secured the UnSub’s incarceration, only amplifying the tension in the waiting area.
As the nurse calls out your name to the room, the team immediately stands to rush over, everyone silently praying that you’re okay.
“We’re glad to say that the surgery was a success,”
Those words are enough for the anxiety to dwindle in the group, a wave of relief overtaking it.
“They’ve had to have a temporary tracheotomy, and due to the placement of the bullet lodged between their vertebrae, a spinal excision, but both procedures progressed with no issues, meaning they should recover perfectly fine,”
Morgan and Emily share a audible sigh of relief, overshadowed by Spencer’s voice, less anxious but still filled with adrenaline. “Can I see them?”
“They’re currently under supervised care to make sure they don’t destabilise, but if you leave your mobile number we will contact you when they wake,” The nurse passes Spencer a small post it note and a biro pen from her clip board and he doesn’t hesitate to scribble his name and number down before handing them back.
“They’re strong, most patients don’t remain conscious for more than a minute or two after an injury like that,” The nurse takes the pen and post it from Spencer with a small smile. “I have full faith that they’ll recover perfectly fine,”
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Spencer extends his stay in Texas indefinitely.
The rest of the team had left for Quantico two days ago to file out all of the necessary paperwork for the case, with Spencer opting to remain in Texas until you were fit to fly home with him.
Home. He wonders if you’ll let him come home with you. To stay with you in your apartment again and live side by side with him once more.
Maybe he can convince you through your recovery; That patients recovering with spinal injuries need 24/7 attention just in case something happens.
Yeah. That sounded like a good idea.
Spencer’s plans for taking you home were interrupted by the shrill ring of his cellphone, the screen lighting up with an unknown number.
His heart rate increases as he picks the phone up from his hotel room’s coffee table, his hands trembling by the time he holds it up to his ear. “Hello?”
“McAllen County Hospital, am I speaking to Doctor Spencer Reid?”
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Spencer is in his rental car almost before he hangs up the phone, driving the speed limit as he tries to get to the hospital as soon as possible.
He runs what he’s going to say when he sees you over and over again in his head on the way there, but by the time he reaches your hospital room his mind goes completely blank, and he just stands in the door staring at you.
“Hello to you too,” Your voice is very clearly strained and raspy, still recovering from the emergency tracheotomy you’d been given during surgery.
The sound of your voice, as dry and strained as it is, immediately sends Spencer into a fit of tears, and he rushes to take a seat on the plastic chair beside your bed with the most upset, regretful expression you think you’ve ever seen. “I’m so sorry,”
“Spence…” You reach out your hand out from the hospital bed, laying it against his lower thigh and squeezing it lightly.
“I shouldn’t have lashed out at you I know you were doing what’s right and I didn’t mean what I said I don’t want you to die I promise-” He takes in a sharp breath through his nose once he’s finished his ramble, and you wait a few seconds to make sure he’s actually finished before speaking yourself.
“You’re fine Spence…” Your hand trails up to grasp at his own, intertwining your fingers with his and giving them a small squeeze. “You had every right to be angry,”
Spencer shakes his head adamantly at you. “No, i’m sorry. What I said was wrong and you didn’t deserve that,”
Spencer exhales softly through his nose, his voice wavering and his hands trembling against your own. “Can you forgive me..?”
You question whether to make a joke about whether he’s close to dying or not, but opt out of it considering his fragile emotional state.
“How about we both forgive each other and call it even?” You let out a small chuckle at the end of your question, turning into more of a cough as it dries out your throat, and Spencer grabs the glass of water left on your bedside table with his free hand.
He holds it up to let you drink from it rather than unlinking your hands to let you hold the cup yourself, placing the styrofoam back down once you’re finished.
You give him a mildly embarrassed smile that he returns with one of his own, leaning forward to gently rest his forehead against yours.
If you weren’t recovering from a spinal surgery he would’ve had you in a bone crushing hug by now, but holding your hand and leaning his forehead to yours would suffice for now.
“Forgiven?” You allow your eyes to flutter closed at the soft contact, exhaling slowly through your nose.
“Forgiven…”
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melit0n · 11 months ago
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Something that always confused me when I read TPOTO was why The Phantom chose box five out of all the private boxes to be his.
Out of all the seats in the house, box five is among the worst and would be (and still is) sold cheaply (average 65 francs at cheapest in 1880, now sold a between 10-25 euros nowadays) on general sale. A higher profit would've been made from a year-long booking, especially since there are multiple seats, so it would be 65 francs per person on a yearly booking no matter how many people are in there at once, but still not as much as other seats.
Visual wise, a good chunk of the left side of the stage is cut off and parts of the performance that would occur in the higher wings would be completely unseen, so, why choose it? Isn't the main point of going to go watch an Opera is to actually see the performance?
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(A screenshot from the Palais Garnier's seat listing stating the best seats for viewing and the view from the box five via this video)
Having been there myself in late May, I found an answer to my own question and I'm gonna share it with you guys because maybe someone else was asking the same thing!
Although yes, the stage is half cut off, it's one of, if not the, best seats acoustic wise. You're a perfect distance from the orchestra as well as the stage for everything to sound just right. As much as The Phantom would've loved the operatic performance, I don't doubt he would've been more focused on the music itself as well as the vocals, and, mainly, Christine.
Further, although going to the opera was more of a social thing than an entertainment thing, so the boxes were built for aristocracy to be seen above all things, you can disappear from public view quite easily in that box. There are two to three rows of seats going backwards to the door, so all one would have to do to disappear from sight of anyone on stage or in the audience would be to just move a seat backwards (which means he wouldn't have been able to see the stage at all, but would still be able to hear everything perfectly well).
Plus, the box is located right at the end of the row of private boxes, as well as very close to entry and exit stairs, both public ones and private ones meant for stage hands and general workers.
All in all, those three reasons are why the box was chosen and kept in high priority for The Phantom, because he could quite literally disappear, like a ghost, by just moving himself in the box, as well as disappear out of the box and hear Christine almost perfectly.
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pickingupmymercedes · 2 months ago
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Very first - Lewis Hamilton NSFW
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Request: First time with Lewis. I had 5 requests for that and I hope I did it justice (sorry for how long it took for a couple of those requests)
pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!
warnings: unprotected sexual activities, all sorts.
Wrap it before you tap it.
wordcount: +5K
a/n: Haven't written in first person in so long, but all the drafts felt better like this. Also, it's huge, ops. Hope you guys like it.
As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!
EXPLICIT CONTENT UNDER, -18 DO NOT INTERACT
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It was easy with him, too easy maybe, but that's what made it so damn nice.
“So,” I started, turning to him with a half-smile. “You want to come up?”
We’d spent the morning driving through the countryside, talking about everything and nothing—his races, my job, the ridiculousness of the price of avocados.
His eyes met mine, and I could see the question there, like he was trying to read me. “You sure?”
It was cute that he was being cautious, but come on, we both knew why I was asking. I nodded, keeping my voice light. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
I wasn’t sure if it was the countryside air or just the fact that we had spent the day away from the madness of London, but today felt different.
Calmer, somehow.
I led him up the stairs to my apartment, trying not to think too much about how it had been a while since I’d let anyone in here.
Literally and figuratively.
“Welcome to my humble abode” I said, pushing the door open and stepping inside.
He hesitated in the doorway, taking it all in.
My place was small, but it was mine—books, plants, a blanket that I was probably too attached to. It wasn’t flashy like the places he was used to, but I liked that about it.
“Nice place,” he said, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.
“It does the job” I replied with a shrug, kicking off my shoes. “Make yourself at home.”
He followed suit, slipping off his sneakers and setting them neatly by the door. “It suits you. Feels… grounded.”
I let out a soft laugh. “That’s one way to put it.”
He leaned against the counter as we headed into the kitchen to grab some water.
But when handed him the glass, and our fingers brushed, it was fireworks all over again. God, how was I still reacting like a teenager with a crush?
“Thanks,” he said, taking a sip. “So, today was fun.”
“It was,” I agreed, taking a drink to give myself something to do with my hands. “It’s nice to get out of the city for a bit. The countryside’s got this whole other vibe.”
“Yup” he said, setting his glass down. “Nice to just… let it go.”
“Even from the racing?” I teased, raising an eyebrow.
“Especially from the racing,” he chuckled, shaking his head.
There was a beat of silence, and I could feel the shift in the air between us, that tension that had been simmering since our last date starting to bubble up again.
The last time… well, things had gotten pretty heated until his phone rang, snapping us both out of it.
It was a close call, but I’d pulled back, sticking to my rule. No rushing into things. I’d done that before, and it never ended well.
But this time, he was making it very hard for me to stick by that rule.
I wanted him, and from the way he was looking at me, I’d take a pretty good guess he wanted me too.
I took a step closer, letting my hand find his. That simple touch was all it took for the tension to skyrocket, and before I knew it, we were closing the distance between us, lips crashing together in a kiss that was anything but tentative.
His hands were on my waist, pulling me closer as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
God, the man could kiss.
It was the kind of kiss that made you forget where you were, who you were, and why you ever thought not doing this was a good idea. His lips were soft, but the way he kissed me was anything but.
There was urgency there, a hunger that only fueled into my own, and I could feel it in every brush of his lips, every tug of his fingers on my shirt.
I pressed myself against him, deepening the kiss as I let my hands roam up his back, memorizing the feel of him.
The muscles there were as solid as they looked, and I couldn’t help but think that this man was literally built for this kind of thing.
I mean, I had the image of what he looked like shirtless—hell, half the world did—but feeling it under my fingers was a whole different story.
He let out a low groan against my lips, and I was losing myself in the kiss, in him, and for a second, I almost didn’t care about anything else. Almost.
He pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against mine as we both caught our breath. “Y/n…”
The way he said my name, low and rough, made me want to pull him back in and never let go.
But there was something in his voice that made me pause.
“Yeah?” I whispered, my hands still resting on his shoulders, my eyes closed shut.
“I just… I don’t want to rush you” he said, his voice soft but serious. “I know last time… I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
I pulled back just enough to look him in the eyes, my heart doing that stupid fluttering thing again.
Damn, he was really being careful, wasn’t he? But I appreciated it. More than I’d probably let on.
“Lewis” I started, taking a breath. “I want this. I want you. And I’m not saying that lightly.”
He studied me for a moment, like he was searching for any sign of hesitation. But there wasn’t any. Not this time.
“You’re sure?” he asked, his voice low, almost a whisper.
I nodded, my fingers tracing the line of his jaw tentatively. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”
That was all it took.
He kissed me again, and this time, there was no holding back.
And damn, if it wasn’t about time.
We barely made it through the hallway before his lips found mine again, pressing me against the wall with just the right amount of pressure.
God, he was good at this. I could feel the heat between us, the urgency in his touch making it clear where this was heading.
“Bedroom?” I mumbled against his lips, not really wanting to break the kiss but knowing we couldn’t just do this against the wall like teenagers.
Although, thinking it back the idea didn’t sound so bad.
As soon as we stepped inside his eyes landed on the teddy bear sitting in the middle of my bed. Of course.
“What’s this?” he asked, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he pointed to the bear.
I rolled my eyes, trying not to let him see how much I loved that he was trying to lighten the mood.
“That’s Mr. Bear, and he’s not going anywhere, so you’ll just have to deal.”
“Mr. Bear?” He picked it up, inspecting it like it was some kind of artifact. “Well, I guess I’ll have to make sure he approves.”
“He’s a tough cookie” I quipped, crossing my arms and giving him a look. “But you might want to focus on impressing me instead.”
“Oh, I plan on it,” he murmured, setting the bear down gently on the bedside table before turning back to me, the teasing glint in his eyes replaced with something much more intense.
He stepped closer, his hands finding the hem of my shirt. “Can I…?”
I sighed, half-annoyed, half-amused. “Lewis, if you ask me for permission one more time…”
He grinned, but there was something softer behind it. “Just making sure, love”
“I know,” I cut him off, my voice softer too. “But trust me, I want this. I want you.”
He held my gaze for a moment longer, then nodded, slipping his hands under my shirt and lifting it over my head.
His fingers grazed my skin, causing goosebumps down my skin as he took his time, clearly trying to be as gentle as possible, maybe even allowing for the time for me to back off.
It was sweet, really, but I was starting to get impatient.
“Lewis,” I said, a warning in my voice.
He chuckled, his hands moving to the waistband of my jeans. “Okay, okay. I’ll stop asking.”
“Good” I muttered, stepping out of my jeans as he slid them down my legs.
When I was finally standing in just my lingerie, his eyes roamed over me, and I could see the want—was it also awe? —in his eyes.
“I don’t think it’s fair,” I said, my voice teasing as I reached for the hem of his shirt.
“What’s not fair?” he asked, his eyes meeting mine with a tense stare.
“That you’re fully dressed” I replied, tugging at his shirt. “Especially when half the world uses your abs as gym inspiration.”
He laughed then; a deep, genuine sound that made my heart skip a beat. “Well, we can’t have that, can we?”
He raised his arms, letting me pull the shirt over his head. And yeah, the man was every bit as ripped as I had imagined.
I already knew what was under there, but damn, it was something else to see it up close like this.
And the tattoos. Those damn tattoos.
I ran my hands over his chest, tracing the lines of his muscles, and he watched me with that same intense gaze, like he was studying every move I made.
It was intoxicating, the way he looked at me, like I was the only thing in the world that mattered at that second.
“Better?” he asked, his voice low as he leaned in, his lips brushing against my ear.
“Much” I whispered, my fingers trailing down to his abs, feeling them tense under my touch.
His breath hitched slightly, and I couldn’t help but smile.
It was nice to know that I wasn’t the only one feeling a little overwhelmed by this. He might be Lewis Hamilton, but right now, he was just a guy standing in front of me, and I was the one making him nervous.
He softly guided my chin up and smiled, that stupidly soft and loving smile, before leaning into my lips, my hands exploring his back, his shoulders, anywhere I could reach.
He took his time though, his hands sliding up my sides to my back, and only then pausing at the clasp of my bra.
With his lips still hovering over mine he breathed into me. “Can I…?”
I rolled my eyes, but there was no real annoyance behind it. “Yes, Lewis. You can.”
And with that – and with his lips back on mine – he undid the clasp, letting the bra fall away as his hands moved over my now bare skin
Finally. And damn, if I wasn’t loving every second of it.
His lips started to trail from my collarbone down to the swell of my breasts, taking detours to worship every inch of skin he found on the way.
By the time his mouth reached my belly, I was practically trembling with anticipation.
When his fingers brushed the lace of my underwear, I couldn’t help the hiss that escaped my lips.
He paused, looking up at me with those deep, dark eyes that seemed to see right through me. Without a word, he moved back up to capture my mouth with his, as if soothing the impatience brewing inside me.
And I was impatient. The slow, deliberate pace was driving me insane, and he knew it.
I kissed him back hard, my hands roaming down his sides until they found the waistband of his boxers.
I was more than ready to speed things up, and as I slipped my hand under the fabric, I was pleasantly surprised to find him already half-hard.
“Guess the rumors weren’t exaggerating,” I murmured against his lips, my fingers brushing over his length.
He responded with a low growl, one hand angling my head as he kissed me again, harder this time, effectively shutting me up.
But he never stopped me from continuing my exploration. I traced the outline of his dick through the fabric, feeling the heat of him, the way he twitched under my touch.
Knowing I could get this kind of reaction from him was a high I probably wouldn’t get over for a minute.
When he finally broke the kiss, I met his gaze, silently asking for permission to go further. “It’s all yours, babe.” He chuckled, a sound that made me want to attack him and hide all at once.
I hooked my fingers under the waistband of his boxers and tugged them down.
The moment his dick sprang free, I couldn’t help the way my breath caught in my throat.
He wasn’t impossibly long, but he was definitely above average, and the girth—God, the girth—was enough to make my pulse quicken.
He was watching me, of course, catching every flicker of reaction on my face.
When he noticed my wide-eyed surprise, he lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him. His smile was warm, reassuring even “We’ll take it slow.”
I nodded, grateful for his patience even as it frustrated me. I returned his smile, my fingers wrapping around his length. His breath hitched the moment I touched him, and I couldn’t help but bat my eyes at him playfully.
“Gosh, you’re trouble” he muttered, his voice rough with desire.
I grinned, taking my time as I began to pump him, feeling the weight and heat of him in my hand.
When I reached the tip, I leaned down to press a kiss there, delighting in the way he shivered at the contact.
“Sensitive here, huh?” I teased, looking up at him.
Whatever retort he had in mind was lost when he dragged me back up to his lips, his hands firm on my hips as he effortlessly maneuvered me onto the bed, pressing my back against the headboard.
His eyes, dark and intense, locked onto mine. “I’m good, love. But we need to make sure you’re ready” he murmured, his statement a promise to my ears.
Before I could respond, his mouth was on me again, trailing kisses down my body with single-minded focus.
When he reached my inner thighs, he took his time kissing through the fabric of my lace underwear, and I couldn’t help the whimper that escaped my lips.
“Don’t tease,” I breathed, hating how desperate I sounded.
He giggled—that soft, infectious sound that I’d grown to love. “Just making sure” he whispered, his fingers hooking around the strings on my hips, slowly pulling the lace down and off.
As he finally took in the sight of my exposed cunt, his expression shifted into something almost reverent, like he was savoring the moment. He leaned down, leaving featherlight kisses on my outer lips, the gentle touch driving me wild.
“Lewis” I groaned, the frustration in my voice clear. “Please.”
He smiled against my skin, his breath hot against my thigh. “Patience, love. I’m just getting started.”
The first tentative lick sent a shockwave through my body, and my hands immediately grabbed at the sheets, fingers curling tight.
Every nerve on me was on fire, heightened by the slow, deliberate pace he was setting.
And just when I thought I might float away, he hooked an arm around my hips, anchoring me in place. His other hand found mine, fingers intertwining, as if he needed to connect with me anymore.
His eyes never left mine, and even if I wanted, I couldn’t really stop watching as his tongue lapped up my clit. A gasp escaping my lips as the pleasure spiked through me.
“Fuck,” I muttered, barely coherent.
He continued, his tongue moving with just the right pace, not rushing, just giving me enough to keep me teetering on the edge.
When he felt I was wet enough, he let go of my hand, moving it down to tease at my entrance with a single digit.
“I’ll need words from here, love” he murmured, his voice muffled. “Tell me what you like.”
“Don’t stop,” I managed to say, my voice shaky, almost pleading. “Just—don’t stop.”
With a grin, he slid a single finger inside me, his own hiss vibrating through the room as he felt my walls.
“You’re so tight,” he breathed, a note of awe in his voice. “This is gonna be heaven.”
He took his time, exploring with just that one finger, feeling around until he found the spot that had me squirming under him. When he hit it, I couldn’t help the moan that tore from my throat, my hips bucking involuntarily.
“Found it” he said with a satisfied smile, his eyes locking onto mine.
Then he added a second finger, the light stretch already making me gasp.
He started a scissoring motion, opening me up, getting me ready. All the while, his tongue didn’t let up, lapping at my clit in perfect rhythm, just enough to keep me on edge without pushing me over.
The wet sounds filled the room, mingling with my ragged breathing and his low murmurs of praise.
He was studying me, like he was learning exactly how to make me fall apart under him.
After what felt like an eternity of this sweet torment, he finally pulled back, sitting on his heels.
I watched as he switched to his middle and ring fingers, angling them just right before sliding back into me.
The feeling was delicious, and when he curled his fingers and found that spot again, I cried out, my hips lifting off the bed.
“Easy” he murmured, his free arm holding me in place as he started a relentless up-and-down motion.
His thumb brushed over my clit, making my breath caught in my throat and my head spin.
I was completely at his mercy, the pleasure building and building until I could hardly breathe.
The wet noises from where his fingers worked inside me were obscene, mingling with the desperate little sounds I couldn’t hold back.
He kept on the soft praises, but they were swallowed by my moans as I got closer and closer to the edge.
And then it hit.
My vision went white, and all I could do was hold onto his arm on his hips, feeling the waves of pleasure crash over me again and again. My whole body tensing before it felt like it had shattered into a million pieces.
He didn’t stop until he was sure I’d ridden out every last bit of it, his fingers slowing their movements but never letting up until I was trembling beneath him.
Only then did he pull his fingers out.
When I finally came back to myself, I found him watching me with a look that was equal parts smug and adoring.
He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to my lips as if sealing the moment. “You okay?” he whispered, his voice gentle now.
I could only nod, too blissed out to form a coherent thought, let alone words.
And then he had the nerve to ask if I had one more in me, and again all I could do was nod.
But apparently, that wasn’t good enough for him. “I need words,” he insisted, and barely managed to get out “Fucking hell, you’re not leaving me without the rest.”
He laughed, the sound rich and warm, and I wanted to roll my eyes, but I couldn’t deny how endearing it was.
How many green flags could one guy have? Annoyingly checking every damn box.
When he went to his wallet, I knew what was coming next.
He handed me the condom packet, giving me that same patient, earnest look, like he was asking if I could handle one more thing.
I reached for him, giving him a few more pumps just to feel him twitch in my hand. Sliding the condom on, I could feel the heat building again, a rush of anticipation making my heart race.
He adjusted our position like he was handling something precious—placing a pillow just under my back, so deliberate and thoughtful.
But when he rested his dick on my inner thigh, all those coherent thoughts I had left my brain like it was suddenly a foreign language, and I remembered the girth.
Holy shit. How was I supposed to handle that?
The weight of him, the sheer size, and the fact that I was supposed to take it in?
Was this man sculpted by the gods or what?
And why did I have to get stuck on how considerate he was instead of focusing on the absolute insanity about to happen?
Before I could spiral any further, he came up to me, his lips brushing mine, dragging me back into the present. “We’ll take all the time you need, okay?” his voice like honey, smooth and sweet.
And there I was, rolling my eyes again, even as the warmth spread through me.
I wanted to snap back, something sassy on the tip of my tongue, but then his tip entered me, and all I could do was hiss at the sensation.
He kissed me through the first thrust, his dick practically ripping through my walls, and my hands automatically went to his back, nails digging into his skin, holding on for dear life.
I tried to breathe, tried to adjust to the stretch, but when he finally stopped, I realized he wasn’t even fully in yet.
My eyes shot down, and sure enough, he was still focused, his breathing controlled, and all I heard was a low murmur, “Geez, you really are tight.”
I felt his arms on either side of me, solid and reassuring, and I squeezed them gently. His eyes instantly found mine, filled with concern, and I had to smile softly. “Move, Lewis. Just please, move.”
And then he did, thrusting into me with an agonizing slowness, deeper with each motion, until finally, I felt his balls press against my ass, and he sighed like he’d found what he was looking for.
My mind, however, was a different story.
Holy shit, how was I still breathing? I was split open in the best way possible, and all I could think was how the hell was this man real.
I was sure each thrust was going to create its own memory, and I was teetering between wanting to scream at the top of my lungs and begging him to go even harder.
But there was something about how he moved—deliberate, careful, like he was savoring every second, every reaction I gave him.
The way he looked at me, like I was the only thing that mattered in the world, was enough to push me over the edge again. And I could tell he was holding back, trying to keep control, trying to make sure I was okay, even as his own need was practically vibrating through his body.
God, I’m so screwed, and not just in the physical sense.
I was falling, fast and hard, and there was no stopping it now.
Not when he felt this good, not when he was this good to me.
Every thrust made me crave more, made me cling to him tighter, made me want to lose myself in him completely.
Lewis’s focus was entirely on me, and it was like he was memorizing every gasp, every twitch, every reaction.
It was overwhelming, in the best possible way, but still I needed more.
I wanted to be the one in control, to feel him from a different angle, to see what this man—this ridiculous, considerate, and sexy man—would do when I took the reins.
Leaning into his ear, I whispered, “I want to ride you.”
The words were barely out of my mouth before I felt him tense beneath me, half-worried, half-hopeful.
It was adorable, really, how he tried to mask his excitement with concern.
“Are you sure about that?” he asked, and there was that hint of amusement in his voice, but I could also hear the edge of desperation.
Did he really want this as much as I did, maybe even more?
“We’ll take it slow, right?” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady despite the pounding in my chest.
I sat up, pulling away just enough to guide him to sit on the bed, and as I moved into his lap, I could feel his heart on his chest.
Slowly, I lowered myself onto his dick, feeling every inch stretch me again, filling me completely.
My lips parted in an involuntary gasp, my eyes squeezing shut as I adjusted to the sensation.
His hands found my waist, gripping tightly as if grounding himself, and when I finally opened my eyes, he was staring at me with that same soft smile that always managed to break through my sarcasm.
I couldn’t help but smile back, pulling him into a kiss, the kind that had me wrapping me around him.
I started moving, rocking back and forth, feeling the friction build and spiral.
The kiss broke when he moaned against my lips, a sound that only spurred me on, making my moves harder, seeking more.
His hands guided me, helping me rise and fall on him, and every time his tip brushed against my cervix, I saw starts. It was so intense it almost bordered on pain.
I let out a cry, my body trembling at the sensation, and he immediately stilled, concern flashing in his eyes.
“Are you okay?” he asked, and it was almost ridiculous how serious he was, but also incredibly sweet.
I looked down at him, half breathless, half in awe of how he managed to be so considerate, even in the heat of the moment. “Going to be even better when you drag that other orgasm out of me, like you promised.”
That was all the encouragement he needed. He started to thrust up and I matched him, riding him faster, until I could feel that familiar tension coil tightly in my belly.
I wasn’t going to last much longer, and by the way he was groaning beneath me, neither was he.
A few more thrusts, and I stilled, holding him down by his abdomen, feeling the shift in him as he realized what was happening.
He searched my face, and then his expression shifted as he felt my walls clenching around him, my legs shaking as I came undone.
I couldn’t keep myself upright, collapsing into his chest as wave after wave washed over me.
Lewis took that moment to start thrusting again, riding out my orgasm, and I was vaguely aware of the way he was holding me, like he didn’t want to let go.
I could feel his rhythm faltering, and it wasn’t long before he let out a deep grunt, his fingers digging into my waist as he held me in place and his moans were all I heard.
We were both breathing hard, tangled together, and for a moment, everything else faded away.
It was just us, in this moment, and I couldn’t help the ridiculous surge of affection for him.
Who knew I’d end up here, wrapped up in the arms of a guy like Lewis? But here I was, completely wrecked and somehow, already craving more.
As I eased off his lap, I heard a low moan escape his lips, and I giggled as I looked down at him, sprawled out on the bed with a stupid grin plastered across his face.
"Enjoying yourself, are we?" I teased, reaching down to carefully remove the condom, trying to catch the mess inside. He didn't even respond, just lay there looking like the cat who got the cream.
I slipped off to the bathroom, tossing the condom in the toilet before taking a moment to pee—because there was no way I was dealing with a UTI when I had Lewis to myself like that.
And just that thought was ridiculous on its own.
When I came back into the bedroom, Lewis immediately pulled me into his arms, almost like he was afraid I’d vanish if he didn’t hold on tight enough.
He was sweet in the aftercare, his voice soft as he asked, “How was it? How do you feel?”
I could hear the concern laced in his tone, but that grin was still there, tugging at the corners of his lips.
It was impossible not to smile back, even as I decided to mess with him a little. My fingers wandered lower, tracing the lines of his lower waist, and I looked up at him with a teasing glint in my eyes.
“You know” I started, trying to keep a straight face, “I always thought you were a shower… I’m glad to see you’re also a grower.”
Lewis giggled, his chest vibrating under my chin as he shook his head in mock disbelief. “Really?”
“Yeah” I grinned, pressing a kiss to his chest. “I mean, it’s only fair to acknowledge all of your… talents.”
He shook his head again, but I could see the satisfaction in his eyes. “And here I thought I had you speechless.”
“You did” I assured him, my fingers dancing across his skin again. “But I can’t stay quiet for long.”
He chuckled, pulling me closer, his hand running up and down my back in soothing strokes. “I’m glad. It’s part of your charm.”
I rolled my eyes at that, but there was no denying the warmth that spread through me at his words. “Yeah, well, you’re not so bad yourself.”
His grin softened into something more tender as he looked down at me. “You make it easy to be sweet.”
I pretended to look annoyed, but the smile on my face gave me away. “Okay, that was disgustingly cute. But fine, I’ll allow it.”
“Oh, you’ll allow it?” he teased, his hand coming up to gently brush my cheek “What if I want to be disgustingly cute more often?”
I hummed thoughtfully, pretending to consider it. “I guess I could get used to it… as long as you keep up the other stuff too.”
He giggled again, that carefree sound that I was quickly falling for. “Deal. But just so you know, I’m planning on sticking for a bit.”
I smirked, resting my hand on his chest. “I think I can manage that.”
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wordsarelife · 2 months ago
Text
—mine
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pairing: theo nott x fem!reader
summary: your’s and theo's relationship throughout the years
warnings: canon typical violence near the end, mentions of the war, blood and death
note: feel free to request stuff for the christmas calender!!
theo was startled by a sudden voice who called out his name, he turned around, the book he was about to push into the empty space still in his hand. 
"nott" you had muttered, arms crossed and the surprised expression on his face when he turned around had almost made you lose it. you quirked a brow at the missing reaction. "i guess you don't even know my name?" 
"sorry" theo winced and you could see how umcomfortable he was simply because he knew nothing about the person standing in front of him. 
"don't feel too bad" you shrugged. "didn't know yours until you borrowed my favorite book for four weeks and i had to beg madam pince to tell me the name of the person who had it" 
"well, sorry again" theo held the book in your direction. "you can have it now, if you still want it" 
you completely ignored the book, until theo sighed and put it back in the empty space on the shelf where it belonged. "guess not" he muttered to himself. 
"so, tell me, theodore nott" you followed him back to the table with his things. "what tempts a guy like you to borrow a book like that?" 
"well, without meaning to insult you, i'd say it is more male literature than female isn't it?"
"you're a moron if you really think something like female or male literature exists" you sat down in the chair across from him. "i wouldn't declare sherlock holmes as male literature, more preciously i would say that most boys are too daft to even understand half the things arthur conan doyle mentions and to your information i'm taking great insult to whatever the hell you just said"
"geez" theo's eyes had widened, he found you a bit odd, annoying even, but he couldn't help but feel all the same intrigued. "like what you just said isn't an insult. most boys are too daft, huh?" 
"maybe daft is a bit too harsh, i admit that" you rolled your eyes, a smile on your lips, "but i'd say most are too impatient to read those books, yes"
"well, you're not wrong about that" theo nodded "i can't remember the last time one of my friends touched a book that wasn't part of a class" 
"that's quiet sad, i'd say"
"i agree" theo smiled. "so, now that we're on the same page, do you mind telling me your name? i feel like i deserve to know it"
"no" you grinned just as the smile vanished from his face. "i decide when you deserve to know, theodore nott" you left him sitting there, speechless about the sudden rejection. 
you never actually told theo your name. he only found out when you managed to borrow the memoirs of sherlock holmes for two months straight. 
the next time that the two of you talked was a few months later, at the beginning of december. snow had fallen and the hogwarts grounds had turned into a beautiful white landscape. 
the snow was poudry, but you managed not to slip as you made your way through it. your body tightly wrapped in layers of clothing, the thick ravenclaw scarf almost reaching up to your eyes as the falling snow hit your face. 
"not the right weather for a stroll, is it?" theodore nott had caught up to you, not exactly spotting the right outfit for the wuthering cold. 
"well, i know there's a reason you're a slytherin and not a ravenclaw, but i would've expected you to be just a little smarter, nott" 
theo looked down on his clothes just as you did. "i was actually just going for a smoke"
"in the middle of a mild snowstorm?" you quirked a brow. "i'd say it's not the right weather to be doing that either"
"you're a real know-it-all" 
"tell me something new, nott" you rolled your eyes "it's exhausting to always be right, you know?"
"i bet it is" theo shrugged sarcastically. "there had to have been a reason you got sorted into ravenclaw"
"well, as said before, i can see why you weren't" you shrugged with a grin. 
theo sighed. "another dig at the outfit, really?" 
"well, considering you're standing here discussing with me and getting yourself wet, i'd say i'm allowed to keep judging your outfit" 
"fair point" theo nodded and you were surprised he gave up so easily. "are you coming or what?" he asked, ready to walk back inside.
"no" you shook your head "you go ahead though, wouldn't want you catching a cold, who would faint during potions then and entertain the rest of the class?"
"hey, that was one time" he called, as you walked away "how did you even hear about that, we're not in the same potions class?"
you just shrugged and send him a smile over your shoulder. he was standing in front of the doors to the castle, soaked from head to toe and you had to admit, theodore nott was a (beautiful) sight for sore eyes. 
it wasn't like you minded theo's company, but you noticed how he started hanging around the places you frequently visited during the weeks to come. 
theo had it especially easy when he realized that you stuck to your routines during the week, making it impossible for him to miss you once he had figured it out. 
monday and wednesdays after class were spent in the library, doing homework or reading a book from your list. tuesdays you helped madam pomfrey in the infirmary, healing minor injuries or filling up medicine cabinets. thursdays were reserved for your friends, playing card games or just spending time together in the common room, you always found something to do. 
fridays were flexible and you often decided what to do spontaneously. sometimes you did a little tutoring, on other fridays you helped madam pince sort through books and put them back where they belonged or you continued reading the book you had begun reading that week. saturdays and sundays were for remaining homework, hogsmeade visits and drafting letters to send back to your family on the start of the next week. 
"you're not being slick, you know that?"
it was a friday and you were putting away books, when theo kept lingering around you, like he had done that past week. 
"what?" he asked, looking up from the book in front of him, a confused tone to his voice, clearly trying to mask that he knew exactly what you were talking about.
"well, i was sure you knew stalking was considered a legal offence" you noted.
"stalking?" he repeated. "i'm not stalking you"
"now, you're not not stalking me, are you?" you send a tight-lipped smile in his direction. "i do admit that it might be a question of definition, though" 
"aren't you a bit full of yourself if you think i would be stalking you"
"that was offensive" you rolled your eyes "and i'm pretty sure i'm not imaging you turning up everywhere i went this past week. and considering i didn't know you until a few months ago, i'd say that you only started doing that recently"
"well, i didn't"
"okay, you didn't" your shrugged and turned back to the shelf, reaching for another row of books from the trolley beside you, before you pushed them in a row one after the other. 
theo furrowed his brows, surprised by you just letting him get away like that. he knew he wasn't being slick, hell, he even knew that he was behaving like a stalker. you weren't wrong in the slightest and theo felt a bit called out by your words. but on the other hand, you hadn't said anything about being opposed to the idea that he really did go everywhere you did.
you waved at him, before you pushed the trolley into the next row of shelves. it didn't take long for him to follow, already making a decision in his mind. 
"go out with me" 
if he had startled you, you didn't show it. you didn't even blink at his suggestion, rather ignoring him like he was a fly on the wall, as you continued reaching for books on the trolley.
theo pushed the trolley to the side and stepped into the empty space. the next time you tried to reach for a stack of books, you touched his chest instead. 
"you're still here, nott" you noted the obvious. 
theo had to admit that he was a tad bit unsettled by your ignorance. he wasn't sure if you really hadn't heard him or if you just ignored the question, because he had made you uncomfortable. 
"you know, normally stalkers don't look so scared" you smiled mischievously. 
"i'm not stalking you, but i can understand if my company made you uncomfortable and i apologize if i have gone too far"
"you're a bit weird, you know that?"
"this is a serious topic, y/n" 
you smiled at the honesty in his voice and sighed. "do you really think if you were making me uncomfortable or i was scared of you i would continue to speak to you?" 
"well, no—"
"i'm not a child, theodore nott, i can voice when i'm annoyed, but i respect your manners" you smiled "and if anyone follows me around like a lost puppy, i'm glad it's someone with at least a little intellect"
"little intellect?" theo repeated offended. 
"you might be smarter than i thought, but you're really bad at this" 
"i know" 
"well, would you now let me sort in the rest of these books? you're kind of in the way"
theo, nodded, the disappointment flashing over his features just like a wave of water. "i guess that's a no" 
you waited until he had stepped aside and pushed the trolley back in it's original position. your hands reached for the row of sherlock holmes books and you held them up at him like a trophy. "that means yes, obviously" 
theo spent exactly three days brainstroming what to do for your date. his friends tried their best at helping him, more than interested to finally hear something about the mysterious girl theo had been infuriated with these past weeks. 
"is she that hideous?" blaise asked on the third day of theo's hard thinking.
"what?" theo raised his brows, he had been too deep in thought to even hear his friend.
"blaise just asked if your girlfriend was hideous, i'd hit him if i were you" mattheo shrugged, stiring the pot. it had been a particular slow morning and he had to admit that it would be quiet entertaining to see blaise and theo fight each other. 
"five galleons on blaise" enzo added, before theo was able to say something. 
"have a little faith in him" pansy said next to theo. "he might not look like it, but the boy has a wicked right hook"
"this is just embarrassing" draco threw the newspaper down in front of him. 
"what?" pansy giggled "the newspaper or that theo and blaise are going to slap each other even more stupid"
"take a guess"
"guys" theo sighed, annoyance already taking over the worry that was bubbling inside him. "i'm not going to fight blaise and y/n is not my girlfriend"
"no yet" enzo wiggled his brows.
"y/n, huh?" mattheo said with a mischievous smile.
"oh god" all colour drained from theo's face. "please tell me the two of you didn't hook up with each other"
"close to it" mattheo shrugged. "she tended to my wounds in the infirmary once and i could tell she had the hots for me"
"wasn't she the one who said you had the charm of a troll and the brains to match?" blaise offered with a smirk.
enzo's mouth almost hit the table infront of him by how fast it flew open. "that was y/n?" he giggled.
theo had to smile. "that does sound like something she'd say"
"she sounds lovely" draco nodded sarcastically "but at least she never saw mattheo naked. that does make her at least a little likable"
"i already love her" pansy quickly said, before draco could continue his judging. "seems like she knows how to handle little annoyances" 
"i'm not a little annoyance"
"yeah" theo nodded "you're a quite big one, actually" 
theo couldn't tell what had led him to the idea for your date, but he had known in that moment what the both of you should do. 
"so hot chocolate was your huge idea?" you smiled as you sat down in the booth across from him, the server already putting down two mugs with steaming hot drinks in front of you. 
"i saw how your friends gave you their hot chocolate packages after dinner and figured this might be something you liked" he shrugged "and before you call me a stalker again, i'm just very attentive to those around me"
you giggled as the grandma at the table next to you send you a worried glance at theo's words.
"he's harmless" you laughed in a way to assure her. 
theo managed an awkward wave and the woman turned away quickly.
"well, it seems those around you are very attentive too" you giggled. 
"i'm sorry" theo tried to hide behind his mug, feeling a tad bit ashamed at the awkward encounter, but having to laugh at the same time. 
"don't be" you smiled honestly "rather tell me something i didn't already find out by snooping around"
"you snooped around?" theo exclaimed surprised. 
"i had to get even, after you found out everything about me" you shrugged "i met this lovely boy, i think he goes by the name enzo, who told me a whole lot about you"
"oh god, no" 
"quite interesting to hear about all those things from someone who has no interest in sleeping with me"
"what? i don't—“
"so you don't intend to sleep with me?" you smiled. "don't be ridiculous, theodore nott"
"i'm just not used to being this straightforward, admittedly"
you completely ignored the surprise swinging in his voice and went on with your story. "enzo did give me some exciting information and i wanted to talk about one thing in particular"
theo was ready to close his eyes and open them back up after you had screamed and left him sitting alone at the table. he had to admit that he wasn't particularly proud of his dating history (or lack of) before he met you and he was sure you weren't happy about that either. 
"before you say something" he interrupted you, before you were able to let the words slip past your lips. "i'm not like that anymore, i was young and not interested in a relationship and just wanted a bit of fun—"
"what are you talking about exactly?" you asked, a susprised smile on your face. 
"that wasn't what you wanted to talk about, was it?" theo asked and you shook your head giggling. 
"i mean, don't let me tell you what to talk about" you managed to say between your laughter. "we can talk about your previous hookups if that's something you'd like to discuss"
"i'd rather not" theo shook his head and his cheeks turned rosy. 
"fine" you smiled "now back to my question: how did you manage to play out that prank on professor binns in our third year?"
theo's features relaxed at the simple question and he smiled, recalling the memory. "so it all started with a ridiculous idea from mattheo and me getting roped into something stupid again"
you spent the rest of the night talking and ordering one hot chocolate after the other. there was not one second of awkward silence, even as theo brought you back to your common room. 
"i had a lot of fun tonight" theo smiled, hands sinking into the pockets of his trousers. 
you had admired how well dressed he was when he had come to get you in the afternoon. 
"me too" you said honestly. "i can't wait for the next one"
"so there will be a next one?" 
"don't be ridiculous, theodore nott" you smiled, before telling the password to the eagle ontop of the door. "of course there will a next one" you slipped into the common room and away from the smiling boy in front of it. 
"are they weirder than you?" 
the voice startled theo, as he was standing in front of the shelf in the library. he turned around, not surprised that it was you who had asked that question. you mostly started your conversations in the middle, without so much as a hello or some kind of warning. 
"what?" theo wasn't sure what else to ask.
"you friends of course" you shrugged, like that had been obvious "we've been together for a month and i've never even met them" 
"well, you have met them" theo corrected. "like in the hallways or during dinner" 
"you know what i mean, theodore" you rolled your eyes. "i don't think a grunting sound could be classified as me meeting someone"
"that's just blaise, honestly" theo muttered "but pansy waved to you during dinner more than three times now"
"theo" you pushed "either something is completely wrong with them or me and i'd like to know what it is, now" you sighed, before you added "just say if you're ashamed of me or something, i know i can be a bit rude to people i don't know"
"tesoro" theo sighed "i'm sorry that i let you think that. they're just annoying, that's all"
"and you thought they would scare me away?" you smiled, touching his cheeks with your hands. "you stalked me for weeks and i'm still dating you, aren't i?"
"that's never gonna be funny" he called after you, as you walked out of the library. "fine, breakfast at the slytherin table for you tomorrow" 
"aye, aye" 
"she's not hideous" was the first thing you heard when you sat down at the table the next morning. 
"well, you aren't either, zabini" you smiled, not even fazed by his assumption. "even though theo warned me about you" 
"burn!" enzo called, exchanging a high five with pansy. 
"i'm so glad we finally get to meet" pansy smiled. "i've just been waiting to have another girl around, it sometimes gets to much with all the testosterone"
"i don't know how you manage, honestly" you smiled.
to say theo's friends and you hit it off immediately would be an understatement. it took approximately ten minutes for you to become part of the group. enzo and you had been friends before, unlikely study partners, after you had helped him on a potions assignment once. pansy was ready to keep you by her side for the rest of the year and even blaise took a quick liking to you.
mattheo and draco were harder to break. mattheo, still having a pretty hurt ego about you turning him down the year before, was sure that you were just dating theo to get back at him for whatever reason and draco was just not interested to have any relationship past a simple hello and goodbye. 
you didn't mind their antics, even if theo repeatedly apologized for it. 
yours and theo’s relationship lasted for exactly two years. theo broke up with you one day after your anniversary.
the break up was painful, the fight that followed even more and still, you held him that evening, both of you understanding the severity of your situation and the war that was waiting to happen.
“theo” you cried, rushing through the ruins of the courtyard just months later. 
you had been on different sides after all. you had followed harry potter into the war and theo had been bound to his father and to the promise the man had given to the dark lord. just like draco, mattheo, pansy, blaise and enzo. 
your friends had gotten lost in the fight and despite not being supposed to, you were desperately screaming for them. 
you ran back into the castle, not having found theo outside. you send curses at the death eaters that tried approaching you, having more luck than an actual plan. you were simply determined to find him. 
you were thrown down to the ground as the doors of the room of requirement suddenly appeared and flew open. just as quickly as they had opened, they closed again, spitting out people in the procress, before the fire was tamed behind the doors. 
harry potter, hermione granger and ron weasley were standing up from the ground slowly, black powder darkening their cheeks and clothes. 
it took a moment for you to realize who the other two people were, as you quickly got up from the ground. 
draco was breathing just as heavily as blaise was, both trying to fill their lungs with air. 
“oh god” you mumbled, before you finally started moving, your legs guiding you into the direction of your friends, falling into their arms and pressing them close to you. “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry” you cried. 
blaise and draco held onto you just as tight, not being able to let you go as they cried into your hair.
“be honest, draco” you said when you broke the hug, completely ignoring the trio next to you. 
“theo” draco muttered, knowing what you were talking about immediately. blaise and him exchanged a look. 
“is he dead?” you asked, heartbreak already burning in your limbs and throat. you were ready to mourn, ready to lose your life just like him. he had died for the wrong cause, but you hoped, heart heavy in your chest, that death was more forgiving than his life had been. 
“we don’t know” blaise finally said. “we got seperated in the halls, theo—he was looking for you i think”
“i have to find him” you muttered, touching each hand of the boys in front of you. “stay safe” you kissed both of their cheeks, before you turned on your heel, running down the corridor opposite of where you had come from. 
“theo!” you called once more, running up the stairs and through various hallways, hopeless to ever receive an answer.
“y/n” a voice called and you almost crumbled from the surprise it reached you with. hope was hard to keep and you had thought, really thought, that he was dead. 
theo wasn’t dead, but close to it. he was laying on the ground, his back against the wall, while the rest of his body was bathing in his own blood. his cheeks were empty of any colour, lips dry and almost blue as he looked up at you with tired eyes. 
“oh god” you muttered in shock, slipping onto the ground beside him, your uniform soaking up the blood like it was water in the lake. your hands touched his chest and the big glass shard that was stuck inside of it. theo hissed in pain. “sorry, sorry” you whispered. 
“they surprised me as i came down the corridor” he explained. “i was looking for you”
“you found me now” you whispered once more. 
“i don’t think they meant to do this” sweat dripped from his forehead. “they were kids, not older than fourteen, but they left and they took my wand”
“oh god” you repeated as you shook your head, holding his face in your blood soaked hands and kissing his lips softly.
“i thought you were dead” tears slipped over his cheeks and you shook your head crying. 
“i’m gonna help you” you said quickly, before reaching for your wand and using it’s magic to extract the glass from theo’s body. he was winding on the ground, the pain probably unbearable. but you had to do this in order to help him. he would heal, he would survive and that was all that mattered to you in this moment. 
“i don’t want to fight” theo cried “not for them, not against you” 
“i know, my love, i know”
the healing had begun, slowly but surely his wound closed up, only leaving behind the blood around you and the worry on your face.
“come on” you said, as soon as he looked less pale. you took his hand and he followed you through the corridors of the castle, standing next to you when you had to fight death eaters, even beginning to send curses himself. 
“you don’t have to fight, theo” you called over the loudness of the fight. “confringo! i don’t want you to fight against him” 
“i’m not leaving you” theo called back, his voice nearly drowned out by the deatheater across from him, who was screaming curses and uttering threats about theo’s betrayal at the same time. “he doesn’t mean anything to me”
“what?” you send the deatheater flying against the wall, effectively knocking him out. your wand was now facing theo's death eater too.
“i don’t care for my father” theo said, before he too send the man flying. “i only care for you and your well being”
you made sure it was safe, before you pulled him in and kissed him so passionately that you almost forgot you had ever been apart. “don’t ever let me go again, theodore nott” 
“i wouldn’t dare, y/n l/n” 
you took his hand, walking back into the entrance hall, looking if you were needed anywhere. that’s when you saw them coming over the bridge. 
“he’s here” you said, pushing theo behind you if there was really anything you could do to save him. “he’s—“ you paused, as the both of you walked closer up behind the rows of people already standing in the courtyard.
“harry…?” your voice was quiet, as you adressed the boy you had put all your hope in. someone you hadn’t known well, not well enough to be on first name basis, but what did it matter now that he was. what was he?
“harry potter is dead!” voldemort announced loudly, while the deatheaters broke into laughter. 
ginny weasley dashed forward with a heartbreaking scream. “no! no!”
“stupid girl! harry potter is dead, from this day forth you put your faith in me” you looked down onto the ground in front of you and then back at theo, who looked like he was being painfully tortured by voldemorts words. he too had set his hope into harry.
“it’s done” you said softly. “the war is over”
“we lost”
“harry potter is dead!” voldemort repeated once more “and now is the time to declare youself. come forward and join us.. or die”
your ears were drenched out by the wailing sound in your head. it was loud that you missed everything neville said. you pressed your eyes close, wishing to be anywhere else. to be free from this destiny, but you knew you could never just leave. you wouldn’t be able to leave all these people behind. 
it was theo‘s voice that woke you from your half sleeping state. the word he muttered was foreign on his tongue, but ignited a flame inside of you immediately. 
“harry”
your eyes snapped open like a gun shot had rung through the air. but it wasn’t the sound of a gun. it was harry potter, who was running and firing spells at voldemort. you just had seconds to react, before the fight broke out again, no end in sight. 
you had never thought to be happy that a war continued.
but continuation meant that you hadn’t lost yet. there was a chance to win as long as harry potter was alive. 
when voldemort finally dies, it’s nothing like you ever imagined. he bursts into the air, pieces by pieces disappearing until only his wand is left. 
the deatheater in front of you let’s his wand fall to the ground and you don’t have any interest to finish the job as you sank into theo‘s arms. content is flashing through your body and immediate tiredness is dragging you down. theo holds you as all your weight crashes against him. 
you‘re tired of fighting and of war and death and fear. there is nothing in your head, apart from the thought that you will never have to endure all of that again.
theo and you went away after the war.
you travelled europe for a year, before you came back to hogwarts to finish the school year you were still missing. 
theo got a job at the ministry, you started working at hogwarts. he proposed to you the day that you signed the contract. 
your wedding was beautiful. pansy and luna were your bridesmaids. draco and mattheo were theo‘s groomsmen. all of your friends were there. you had even invited the golden trio, it was only thanks to them that the both of you were still alive and able to celebrate your connection.
“you lost your bow again, robin!” theo picked up the little pink bow and clipped it to his suit, knowing that your daughter was way too busy to even hear him call for her. 
“maybe you should just give up” you suggested, picking up luke who was softly hitting your leg, seemingly tired of walking. 
“but she looks so cute with it!” theo protested, the disappointment sipping from his voice as he pushed the trolley through the wall. 
“it‘s no use if she always loses them” you shrugged. “what is it? like the tenth one you’ve gotten her in the past month alone? just wait until she’s older, love”
theo sighed, but nodded at your suggestion. 
“grace, robin” you called, looking around the people in front of you to spot your girls. 
“well, lucky you’ve got me” mattheo popped up next to you, robin in his arms, as he threw a wink in your direction. 
“why are you even here, mate?” theo asked annoyed “you didn’t have any children the last time i checked”
“well, theres still a few women we’re not a hundred percent sure about yet” pansy joked as she appeared in front of you. “hey sweetheart” she kissed your cheek, before she took luke out of your arms. 
“haha” mattheo rolled his eyes. “i was just accompanying my nieces and nephew’s like a good godfather and uncle should do”
“nope” theo shook his head. “you’re still not grace’s godfather, one daughter of mine has to be enough, riddle” 
“yeah, yeah” mattheo shook his head, clearly not caring about anything theo said “we’ll get there eventually”
“no, we won’t, that’s the point—“ 
“hello nott” blaise greeted, draco following, scorpius and grace behind him. you sighed in relief, glad you daughter had not gotten lost.
“blaise” theo nodded, while you went around the trolley, hugging both men. 
“amazing style choice” blaise pointed against his chest and theo's eyes fell down on his own chest, having completely forgotten about the bow he had pinned there. “looks great on you, mate”
“it’s robin’s”
“sure, keep telling yourself that” blaise said with a sarcastic smile “i heard denial is a river in egypt, y/n”
you giggled, but promptly stopped when theo elbowed you. “you’re my wife. mine” he muttered between clenched teeth, but clearly joking. 
draco took a look on his watch. “there are places we have to be, aren’t there?” he set a hand on both scorpius’ and grace’s shoulder, who were talking to each other excitedly.
“of course” you nodded, following your friends to the platform and hugging your daughter so close, as if that might make her leaving a little less hard. “stay with scorpius, sweetheart. stick together, the both of you” you advised. 
“i think isaac was trying to safe a department for the three of you” blaise told you daughter, who smiled gratefully. 
“yes, mum” grace nodded, before you swapped places with theo, who was already crying. 
“write to me every week, honey!” he declared. “stay far away from professor trewlaney and close to your mother as soon as she’s back at work”
“theo” you shook your head “she should have space to develop” you watched grace and scorpius board the train, waving as it slowly left the station.
“i’ve seen people develop at hogwarts!” he shook his head “it lead to a pregnancy in your case, tesoro”
blaise and draco choked on their spit simultaneously.
“that was after i became a teacher and you know it, dear husband”
mattheo held robin away from him, to take her in fully. “were you made there too?” he muttered, more to himself than anyone in particular.
“mattheo!” draco, pansy and you scolded loudly. 
“hey guys!” enzo appeared behind you suddenly, startling all of you. “oh no, they’re already off, aren’t they?” 
you nodded sadly, feeling sorry for the poor bloke who couldn’t arrive on time if his life depended on it.
“half an hour too late” draco exclaimed with a look at his watch. “as always”
“well you know the traffic is being a bitch” enzo slapped a hand to his mouth, before he took a quick look at evie next to him. “sorry, love. well everything’s been a b-word since jacky started forcing me to use muggle transportation.”
“i do not envy you one bit” mattheo shrugged.
“well, evie” enzo shrugged “the train is gone, but i hear that the weasleys have this super cool car, that—“
“no!” you shook your head, taking the little girls hand in yours. “i’ll take her!” 
“so get-together at yours or what, nott?” mattheo asked “gonna have to know which of your kids were conceived in hogwarts” 
“mattheo!” all of you scolded at the same time.
406 notes · View notes
kaivenom · 1 month ago
Note
Hii :), how are you? Can i request a sfw headcanons for shanks, crocodile and mihawk with a so with a bad period and bad personality during it? (sorry for my english)
The One Piece men DILFs reader with their bad period cramps and an awful personality HCS
Characters: Mihawk, Crocodile and Shanks
A/N: i am good and i hope you are too.
Masterlist
Dracule Mihawk
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He assumes you need space so he gives you that.
But the thing is that you want him to be on your side, you want him to baby you.
So, with your bad cramps and your bad mood, you managed to get Up and go to the kitchen, your anger being stronger than the pain.
"Stupid swordsman good for nothing, i am bleeding and feeling like dying and you are here reading a book." He got really surprised and even a little scared.
"I thought that because that are women things you would be too embarrased to share It and i am sure i would be interrupting your process." He tried to excuse himself.
"What, i am your woman, the least i want from you in this situation IS some type of lovely words, but i got nothing and i really need that."
"I see your point."
You were really frustated and your knees were starting to feel weak so you head back to bed.
Half hour later a knock on your door made you open your eyes a little. It was Mihawk with some drinks and something that looked like a hot bag.
He sat next to you and kissed your forehead carefully. He took cup of water and put some medicine on It.
"I am sorry my love, i thought you need space but know that i saw my mistake, i learned for the next times. I have medicine, sweats, drinks and this Hot thing" you looked at him curious. "I had to call Perona and she told me and that maybe a feet massage can give you a better mood"
You poked his nose, still a little angry from before and the kissed his cheek to lay on bed, ready for his treatment.
Which included kisses, massages, treats, words of reinforcement and guilt from his side.
Sr. Crocodile
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He buys you everything you want, but due to the situation of the moment, you wouldnt be able to wish anything more that stop the pain.
He didn't catch It at first, he thought that with the most expensive pill and the special drinks from his rich doctor you would be good and end of subject.
But you were also in a bad mood cause you wanted him to care a little more.
When he asked some of his female co-workers to go and see how you were going, he overhead something.
"That crackhead hook guy, how can he think that only with pills i feel better?, i do but he is my partner, i want him to really care."
Then he asked the coworker about these things and came with a plan.
"Get Up woman."
"Another pill?"
"No, a new treatment."
He guided you to the bathroom to realize that a hot bubble bath was running, chocolate, candles.
"You heard."
"Of course i heard, you were yelling... And of course i care about you, nobody else stays Alive after telling those things about me."
You laughed and goth into the wáter, waiting for him to join.
Akagami Shanks
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Even with the pain you wanted to be of worth for the crew, being a woman in an all men ship makes you have to gain your place.
So, you didn't told Shanks but the signs were there: small faints, weak knees, really bad face, yelling at everyone, mood changes...
"Really, Who was the idiota that put the rope here, i almost tripped, if i catch him i Will break his legs and then i Will..." And you started to cry.
That moment your behaviour was too extreme to the crew, so Shanks asked you and you coudlnt hide It more.
He obliged you to go to bed and you thought that you would be alone and in pain plus that the crew now sees you as weak, but Shanks followed you and got in bed by your side.
"You are the stupid one, i saw you almost faint a couple of times but i thought you were sick or tired but this... If this happens to you every month and you know when It happens why would you put that much weight on your shoulders?"
"Dont call me stupid, stupid, i dont want to be a burden to you guys." You really wanted to cry.
"You are not a burden, you are my woman and if you are bad cause of this then you Will rest and i prefer this than a weapon wound."
"I am still bleeding"you said while giving him a small kick.
He got Up and you thought that he was mad at you, but he just put his head out of the door and gave the boys some orders to give you things and space.
He asked you if you needed something more and just laid there in bed with you, even when you told him he was smelling like sweats too much.
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lucysarah-c · 6 months ago
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“Then Lauren said—”
“Stop eating my carrots!” Levi slapped her hand away from the bowl.
“Ouch!” she exclaimed, pouting at him as she remained seated on the countertop. She caressed her hand, but the pain wasn't real. “Why?” she complained, playfully pretending to be hurt.
“Because I’m trying to make myself dinner,” he replied, continuing to slice up the vegetables. He momentarily pointed with his knife toward the boiling stew on the stove. “And when I asked if you were hungry, you said no,” Levi added, pushing the chopped vegetables into the bowl.
His stern gaze was quick to return when she grabbed another carrot slice. “I’m not hungry,” she insisted with her mouth full.
Levi maintained his stoic expression, one hand resting on his hip. “Is this going to be one of those times where I ask if you want something to eat, you say you’re not hungry, and then you end up eating half of my meal?”
There was a brief, intense silence until she swallowed her food and replied, “I never do that.”
Levi simply sighed and bent to pick up an extra batch of ingredients.
“Where’s your squad?” Y/N asked as she swung her legs on the countertop. Levi kept cooking, both of them enveloped in the dim light of the almost deserted kitchen.
“No idea,” Levi replied quickly. “Until tomorrow’s morning practice at 6, they’re not my responsibility.”
His girlfriend chuckled. “I bet they’re getting drunk downtown.”
“Good for them. As long as they don’t break anything that belongs to me and they’re on time tomorrow, they can get as shit-faced as they please.”
“What if they break something in the barracks?” she insisted playfully.
“Those budget issues are Erwin’s problems,” Levi said.
She laughed softly, her laughter echoing in the empty, massive room meant to hold many more soldiers than just the two of them. “I went downtown. I met up with friends from other divisions, had lunch, went shopping, had tea, saw a theater presentation, and then had dinner. What did you do all day?”
“I did a deep cleaning of our chambers,” Levi replied, a hint of resentment in his voice. “Something you were obviously not going to do. I did laundry, cleaned everything—even the clothes I was wearing. So, I lounged in my boxers in my desk chair, catching up with a book and drinking tea. When it got dark, I turned on a light, swapped the tea for whiskey, and kept reading. I spent my free day reading, having zero human interactions, and not dealing with anyone’s shitty problems. Best free day I’ve had in months.”
“Does that mean you’re done with your tasks for the day?” she asked playfully, giving him a sly look despite him being engrossed in his cooking.
Levi quickly replied, “Don’t worry, I still have plenty of time to do you, girly.” The words didn’t match his uninterested tone and expression.
But it made her chuckle anyway, mostly out of embarrassment. She softly hit his arm and complained, “Levi! A cadet might hear you.”
A subtle smirk appeared on his face, but not much more. There was a brief, comfortable silence as he put the ingredients into the boiling water and stirred them around.
“You know, I want your opinion about something Juliet told me. So I want you to be honest, be yourself,” Y/N commented. Levi simply hummed in agreement, his eyes fixed on his upcoming dinner. “But be nice,” she warned him.
Levi stopped stirring his meal, looked up at her, and said, “I can’t be both.”
She rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever. She’s dating a new guy… and I don’t think he’s good for her.”
“Like the last ten guys,” he interrupted her, “in the last eight months?”
Levi wasn’t a social person, but he was certainly up to date with his girlfriend’s gossip.
“Hey! Are you slut-shaming my friend?”
“No, your friend can sleep with the entire male population of the walls if she pleases,” Levi said casually as he moved around the kitchen. “But she has this tendency to think each one is the love of her life, and they last two weeks.”
Y/N couldn’t deny it. She sighed loudly. “She’s… a hopeless romantic.”
“Daddy issues.”
She snorted and then chuckled. “Hey! She’s my friend!” Y/N tried to defend her, but there was no conviction in her words. “…She used to have a crush on Erwin, remember?”
“Exactly. Having a crush on Erwin is the definition of daddy issues,” Levi said with a playful smile as his girlfriend burst into laughter. “Am I wrong?”
“No, no.”
Returning to stirring before heading back to the kitchen board to cut the potatoes, Levi asked, “So?”
“Oh yes,” Y/N caught herself and continued, “Well… she’s seeing this new guy. He’s in his mid-thirties, and the way she described him made me realize he’s a fuckboy and—”
“A fuckboy?” Levi quickly snapped, looking at his girlfriend, who simply hummed back, not understanding his reaction. “God,” Levi raised his hand to press on the bridge of his nose and slightly shook his head. “Your friend really has a radar for choosing the worst dudes out there.”
“I haven’t even said anything yet!” she complained. “Let me finish!”
“There’s nothing to finish,” he said. “A fuckboy, for fuck’s sake,” Levi repeated under his breath, almost cursing at the idea.
“What’s wrong with it?”
“A fuckboy, Y/N, really?” He repeated, louder this time, as if trying to make her see reason. Not sensing her understanding, he sighed loudly. “I was a fuckboy when I was 18, maybe even into my mid 20s. Yeah, maybe I fought the MPs in the underground, smoked around, got drunk, had a bunch of casual sex, and got high with Farlan. But I was 18!”
“What does that have to do with any of this—”
Levi quickly interrupted, “18! You can be a fuckboy at 18, maybe until your mid-20s,” he said. “You can’t be a shitty fuckboy in your mid-thirties! That’s not a fuckboy, that’s an unstable, immature, stupid dude,” Levi explained as his girlfriend burst into laughter, with him continuing to curse under his breath. “At this rate, he’s having a fucking midlife crisis, not being a fuckboy.”
Her girlfriend kept laughing, and he looked at her from the corner of his eye. "So. What is the fucking issue? Don't tell me your shitty friend got knocked up by that idiot."
Y/N kept laughing, tears running down her cheeks as she tried to calm down. “No,” she whispered out of breath between laughs, “it’s the opposite.”
Levi raised an eyebrow silently, questioning what she meant.
“He couldn’t get it up.”
It was Levi’s turn to chuckle. “Well… you definitely can’t be a fuckboy if you can’t get it hard… that’s for sure.”
Link to my masterlist and my other works if you feel like checking them out. Tags!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @angelofthorr @aomi04 @levisbrat25 @l3visthighs @hum4n-wr3ckag3 @hannieslovebot @starrylevi @rithty @mariaace @ackrmntea @emilyyyy-08 @levisfavoriteteashop @katestrophes @levistealeaf @an-ever-angry-bi @youre-ackermine @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @trashblackrainbow @flxrartsstuff @katharinasdiaryy @levisecretgfblog @searriously @blackdxggr @ackermanswifee @galactict3a @abiatackerman @braunsbabe @moonchild-12345 Wanna join my tag list? Here!
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serendipitous-girl · 18 days ago
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𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒈𝒏𝒊𝒛𝒆𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍
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⊱✿⊰ summary: headcanons with bakugo and a black cat girl
⊱✿⊰ warnings: swearing, suggestive comments, fighting ig, idrk
⊱✿⊰ notes: i have had this request for like fifteen months lol but im finally doing it for my pookie's bday. Happy birthday ml 🫶 im posting it now so i dont forget lol
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❀ he hates you at first sorry not sorry. bakugo just sees you as yet another one of those extras who happen to have an annoying tendency to fight with him. i feel like he might respect your tenacity but barely and he still hates your guts whoops
❀ on the topic of hatred, your other classmates half are jokingly shipping you and the other half are just wishing you two would stop fighting. mina is at the head of the shipping bandwagon especially after she read a book with rivals to lovers. todoroki might say he ships you guys only because he thinks it means he wants you two to get along lol
❀ your arguments would mostly be stupid shit like who rescued who, who did better on the assignment. you guys are rivals who also get into fistfights because why not.
❀ bakugo doesn't think much of your swearing problem because he's used to it by his mom. you're just another annoying person who happens to like using some naughty words all the time (him in girl form)
❀ i feel like the way you two get closer is kinda sad but also drama yay. basically mineta was being an S-class pervert and he was literally harassing you.
❀ and it made you uncomfortable so you started to fight back. bakugo doesn't find you until the aftermath, huddled in the corner of the dorm while trying to hide your tears
❀ he didn't know seeing someone cry could make his heart clench like that. But for some reason, seeing you all teary eyed and sad made him want to punch the living daylights out of whoever made you like that
❀ as awkwardly as he can, he tries to comfort you. His large hand patting your back, not saying anything since words have never been his forte. He was used to using anger to battle his sadness, he didn't know how to help someone succumb to it.
❀ you guys sit there in comfortable silence until you explain to bakugo what happened. he'd always hated the little brat but now he was wishing he had uraraka's powers so he could throw mineta into space. how was the creep still in the hero course?
❀ lets just say the nice day mineta looked more like a cranberry than a grape
❀ you guys aren't particularly close after that but he does tend to notice you more which means his respect for you goes up. you're in combat training and you beat deku? fuck yeah he likes you now. even if you don't hate deku like he does he still thought it was awesome seeing you beat the daylights out of him.
❀ the moment he realized he liked you was when he almost lost you. by now hanging out was pretty regular for the two of you, even if bakugo would rather die than admit that he sees you as a friend. and since you guys spent time together he was around for whenever you got crushes...and told him about it.
❀ most of the time he would shrug it off, especially since half of your crushes were fictional and why would he care? he's not jealous! however you started falling for a boy in class 2b which (for some reason) was a major no go for bakugo. why would you want to date a stupid extra when he was right in front of you
❀ despite what everyone says he isn't the most emotionally constipated. it takes awhile yeah but i imagine he started going to therapy during the course of the show so he started to understand what feelings went where and etc
and one thing was for certain: this feeling was love.
❀ he started being a massive asshole after that. he went right back to always arguing with you or ignoring you completely. he might understand his feelings but that doesn't mean he knows how to handle them
❀ he was so wrapped up in his angry emoness that he didn't know you had stopped talking to the boy from class 2b, forgetting him entirely. he also failed to notice the hurt looks you'd give bakugo before you snapped right back into your harsh comebacks.
❀ the reason you guys even talk it out is during a simulation where the both of you get stuck inside rubble. you were both exhausted, dehydrated, and heartbroken.
❀ you just couldn't help but ask, "why do you hate me?" which basically broke his heart into a million little pieces. he couldn't help the way he admitted to his feelings, the way he handed you his heart in hopes you'd keep it safe...and safe you did.
❀ if you two as rivals were bad you two dating is even worse. you guys are the ultimate power couple, able to tear anybody down with a few well placed sneers and snorts.
❀ everybody either loves or hates you guys. mina obviously loves you guys even if you two are constantly arguing still plus with the added of you two tag teaming one person. she loves when she manifests things.
❀ you guys still have that silly banter and with your tempers. but now you guys made up your arguments with kisses and cuddles
❀ you guys aren't allowed to get paired together for assignments because you are either bickering or making out. and aizawa is too tired to try to stop it.
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lori © 2024. please don't copy, modify, or do anything weird with my writing! i like reblogs and comments but please be kind as this was my writing.
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forbidden-sin-bin · 1 year ago
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Sex and Filthy Smut headcanons
(Eminem x F!Reader Hc’s and drabbles)
Rated: E for explicit… no wait, this needs an X rating for possibly being the filthiest thing I’m gonna write in my life. God save my soul (probably not but hey at least I asked)
Warnings: I mean… look at the title. Need I say more??? Smut. Sex. Lovemaking, Intercourse. Whatever the hell you wanna call it. The whole 10 yards is here. It’s porn, not gonna lie at all.
Tags/Keywords: Smut, Heavy Smut, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, fluff, fluff and smut, Pre-established relationship, Sexual Content, Kink, Overstimulation, Dom/Sub, BDSM, Dirty Talk, Praise Kink, Oral Sex, Giving/Receiving, Healthy Relationships, Feel Good, Everything sinful under the sun is found here, Author is going to hell, anyone who reads this is coming with me
A/N: Yes yes, ain’t no fuckbuddies or friends with benefits headcanons here, sue me. There is NO angst or sadness here. None, zero, zilch. Those kinds of relationships almost NEVER end well 98% of the time. This is all about you and him ONLY. Give it up for romance y’all.
Not gonna lie, there might've been more I wanted to add to this hellfire list of headcanons but once you've seen how much stuff there is below I hope you'll forgive me for finally putting this out here.
I hope by reading this, will provide you with comfort and satisfaction.
VERY special thanks to @smutty-books for beta reading and feedback along with helping me with this monster of a list! Please check them out and show them some love! (Seriously thank you Smutty for the additional ideas and content. you made this Hc's list a million times better and twice as much content included.)
(WARNING: Past this point is VERY EXPLICIT CONTENT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.)
General HC's:
Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy ohhhhhh boy.
You want sum fuk? You got sum fuk and way more.
As long as you’re his s/o, congrats on your sex life being absolutely demolished and rebuilt by this man. You’ll probably never find a better person in the bedroom for the rest of your life. It literally doesn’t matter if he’s your boyfriend or your husband, sex is a staple activity in your relationship that you both enjoy.
Fast and rough? Slow and steady? Maybe a little bit of both? You bet he’ll be saying fuck yeah to all of those.
His sex drive has always been relatively quite high, even after all these years. Being 50 and counting ain’t gonna stop him anytime soon.
Can, and will, want to fuck you on any and every surface of the house.
Living room couch? Perfect spot for bouncing in his lap or to blow him hard.
Dining room table? He’ll have you either bent over and railing you from behind or sitting on top while he devours your dripping wet pussy.
Taking a shower? You’ll be saving water if you do it together… yeah. Definitely not because of at least a half dozen things you can do in there with soothing hot water pouring down your bodies.
In the studio?…
Okay maybe not the studio he’s gotta work without getting distracted and lord save you two if anyone finds a sliver of evidence that you two fucked in there-
Not a PDA guy much, which also extends to any sexual antics outside. He won’t be taking any risks getting the two of you caught lacking
As long as you two are in the house, it’s free game
His views and methods of sex vary depending on which era we’re talking about
If he were in his 1999’s/2000’s era, then yeah, absolute horndog. He’s constantly so busy and on the move, sex would be a quick trip and onto the next. It would’ve scratched the itch, but arguably wouldn’t have sated his appetite for long. If he ever had a chance to have a good, drawn out sex session, it’ll leave him looking like he had a serious hangover but he’ll be waking up so relaxed.
Him being quick to fuck around and quick to leave was his style pre-Relapse. It’s a common thing you see around music artists in general and he was no exception. That doesn’t mean he was closed off to finding an actual solid relationship, it just becomes that much harder to find someone genuine. Most of the time though, he was busy putting out albums and producing music with a 9 to 5 regimen.
Post-Relapse/Recovery Em had insane stamina due to the excessive amount of exercise he put in. Call me insane, but I have a feeling this may be the time where he had the least amount of sex drive-
NOW HOLD ON HEAR ME OUT
He was starting out his sobriety around this time, I’m no expert but I would have to think that he hasn’t fucked or hooked up with anyone since then cause sex may have been a risk or his body was recovering, therefore most likely putting sex as a low priority. That isn’t to say he wasn’t busting a nut oh no, he probably became best friends with his hands again.
The time between Rap God/Monster Era was slowly building back up his drive, transitioning him to the Revival/Present Day era where he’s back on his blue-balling bullshit. Mans been practically putting out mating calls in his music and in interviews I mean COME ON HAVE YOU SEEN IT
He’s wise enough to not be caught slipping with hoes cause he won’t be caught with those hoes. At all. He’s not a hoe fucker no more. You heard him.
Finding an actual healthy relationship with one person? Someone give it to him, now.
(Anyone who remembers that one shot in that Rainy Days behind the scenes video where he points the camera to his crotch and says “EVERYTHING is for sale.” If that isn’t a man in heat I dunno what is; And that’s just one example out of many lemme tell you)
THE POINT IS, HE CAN GO FOR ONE ROUND, OR MANY, MANY MORE.
He’s determined to make you feel good more than him, but he’ll absolutely be having fun with how you’re gonna come. He’ll love exploring your body, finding out every little spot that gives you shivers down your spine.
Oh yeah, did I mention that he's got a big dick? He's got a big dick.
Don't try to deny it when you can't help but glance at his crotch all the time. It might be bias, or it might be fact that you can see the bulge in his pants.
Dom/Sub Roles:
He’s a dom, no question about that. Most of the time he’s a soft dom, not overwhelmingly asserting himself over you but firm enough to have you listen to him. Of course, he’ll be praising you a ton if you’re doing good and listening. But if you’re acting a little bratty, a little petty… yeah, he’ll make you behave, let’s just leave it at that.
Enjoys having you bent over his knee while he fingers your pussy, making sure you’re all nice and ready for him to enjoy.
If you squirm too much, expect a light spanking and a firm reminder to behave.
Again, not over the top with his dominance, cause at the end of the day, he wants to take care of you, to make you feel comfortable and show you how much he loves you. So praising isn’t just a dom thing, it’s genuinely how he expresses his affection to you.
If you insist on it, he can go even harder as a dom, upping his antics and getting off on seeing you beg for relief. Punishments will be even meaner and if you slip up even just a little, looks like you’re gonna have to start all over. No amount of pleading, teary whines from you will get him to change the cold, hard look in his eyes as he’s watching you.
Absolutely insistent on a safe word, no matter the situation.
Marshall’s immediately shifting to a protective, nurturing caretaker the moment your safe word leaves your lips and making sure your needs are met, completely understanding and shushing any apologies that threaten to leave your mouth for ruining the moment. You come first and foremost.
Amazing with aftercare. Will make sure that you’re okay and well taken care of after a session, praising you lovingly as he holds you close. If it was particularly intense, he’ll be checking in on you for the next day or so whilst feeling quite proud of himself that he can reduce you to a begging, dripping mess yesterday night. But he's by far more proud of you for trusting him and letting him experience you in such a vulnerable position.
All it takes is for him to say: "Such a good girl" and you're all his. (Can't blame you honestly-)
He'll be using your petnames even outside of your passionate sessions, even if it's just coming home to greet you after a day of work or passing by each other in the house to do something, a quick: "Hey peaches" or "How's my babygirl?" never fails to want to leave you smiling shyly, even after a bad day.
While being a sub is not what he would usually do at all, it’s not impossible. Once he’s far into a relationship with you and fully comfortable, he might actually give in to your insistence.
He has a need to feel like he’s in control, like he’s leading; Being on the opposite end is a big deal for him, so if he ever subs it’s a huge fucking compliment and privilege that shows how much he trusts and loves you to bare himself to you.
He’ll definitely be grumbly about it tho, and probably trying to act all teasing at your attempt to dominate him. But once you get past that first phase and he lets himself relax and give into your control… he doesn’t want to admit it, but he feels so fucking secure with you.
When he fully gives in, he’s preening and leaning into your touch. He’ll be such a good boy under your lavish praise and having all of your attention on him.
It feels almost foreign, not being the one in charge and making all the decisions for once. But once he gets used to it, he'll be doing whatever he can to receive your approval.
Seeing him at your mercy, letting you take the reins, makes it your priority to see him come undone by your command, holy shit, it's fucking beautiful.
If he's up for being a little more bratty (not unlike he's been on his petty shit for decades as his core personality trait let's be real here) and expecting to be punished and/or your dominance be harsher, the thought of pushing you to your limits with how much you're willing to keep up with him makes him really, really excited on the inside.
It’s both of your secrets, so don’t fuck it up, a'ight?
Teasing/Body Parts:
Speaking of secrets… he’s incredibly private, but at the same time, don’t be surprised if he ends up writing lyrics that may or may not allude or be inspired by your sex lives. You swear this man will be the death of you, smug bastard.
If you’re ever turned on by listening to his music or his voice, it’ll be such a massive ego boost for him, holy shit. No need to feel embarrassed, cause he’s fucking flattered.
Even tho his residence is far from any neighbors (and definitely soundproof), he’s got a playlist for your ears to get aroused to.
Imagine Marshall whispering in your ear or talking in that low voice of his and well damn now you’re horny is an understatement of the goddamn century.
And it’s not just you! Marshall gets off hearing you moan like crazy, another sign that lets him know he’s doing a damn good job. Hearing you whimpering gets him going, but making you scream? Jackpot.
Unsurprisingly to a lot of y’all, but he loves tits. He loves ass for sure, but feeling your breasts is just- Yes.
Love fondling them, licking, biting, sucking, you name it.
Now do the same for him-
OKAY OKAY HEAR ME OUT HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN’S PECS
MAN’S GOT HUGE FUCKING HONKERS. HOLY SHIT.
(No wonder he’s such a titty guy-)
But seriously, play with his chest and he’ll be moaning and writhing under you. Music to your ears.
Rest assured your ass will not be forgotten or neglected. No fucking way he’ll ever leave any part of you un-worshipped. Even when you’re just passing each other around the house he’ll playfully slap or squeeze your ass with a smirk. Cheeky fucker.
May or may not prompt him to just throw you down and pin you against whatever furniture is closest and have his way with you right then and there.
Or it could be the other way around! You can't help but give his sexy behind a mischievous swat or grab, or his pecs. He'll probably pretend to be miffed but you'll be catching him returning the smirk you have on your face. Oh, by all means, have your way with him right then and there as well. Equal rights, equal sexy times.
Grabbing your backside and pulling you closer to him, pressed against his chest and his growing bulge in his pants oh sweet Jesus-
Will for sure spank you while you’re riding him or he’s railing you from behind, the sounds of skin slapping against skin while he sees your ass jiggle with every thrust is just so fucking hot
He wants to reach deep down, as far as his cock can reach, nothing in the house is safe from him pounding your pussy and giving you a creampie.
Speaking of that, He LOVES to come into you or on you. It gives him a feeling of claiming what's his. Anytime he sees his cum dripping outta you or running down your skin, Marshall’s ready to go again.
Or he could use a sex toy, making sure his cum stays inside and your pussy ready for him in a few.
Kinks
We’ve already covered the dom/sub parts, but there is SO much potential for other kinks that you and him can get into so let’s get right into it
Breeding Kink:
I mean how can we not start this off without mentioning that
Can, and will ram you harder and faster than a piston AND make sure you both cum multiple times
If you’re walking the next morning, that means he failed the assignment so now he’s boutta rectify that
Dirty talk is cranked to a hundred as he’s growling in your ear on how much of a slut you are for his seed, how he’ll fill you up and make sure your womb is carrying his baby, how gorgeous you would look with your belly swollen with your little creation, etc.
Even if he’s sure that he doesn’t want anymore kids (given his age or experience, which is understandable), imagine the baby fever he gets when he sees or imagines you with kids
He’s perfectly happy with just you and him, but the possibility of you, him, and maybe a little one you made together from your love? His pupils are dilating like a cat getting ready to pounce
Even if the possibilities are extremely unlikely, the mere thought of it and he’s giving you the 🥺 eyes. (Every time you see him make those eyes at you, it’s probably cause he’s feelin the breeding urge)
If you're not able to, that doesn't change a thing; he wants to make you feel like you're his no matter what, and you are! He loves you for you.
Obsessed with coming inside you after railing you into the mattress, filling you to the brim with his seed
Loves giving you a creampie and then watching it leak out of your pussy, might take the initiative to stuff his spilling cum back into you
Or he could just fuck you at multiple different times during the day like the stud he is
Hell he may as well just not pull out and you’ll both be falling asleep still connected
You'll be waking up with his member engorged and slowly thrusting in you while he nuzzles into you, taking in your scent, kissing your lips so softly until you both cum. After that he takes you to the shower and you both wash each other
Loves marking your skin with his mouth, letting anyone know that your his and his only
Your cunt and everything else is thoroughly satisfied every time the breeding kink comes on don’t you worry about that honey
Size Kink:
Hey don't judge his 5'7 ass. Marshall's got other big things minus his height; Big hands, big ears, HUGE CO-
If you're smaller than him: He praises you for taking him in so well, whispers words of encouragement with every inch he pushes into you until you can feel his tip brushing against your cervix. Doesn't want to overdo it in fear of hurting you, but with your insistence he'll be going all out in due time
If you're taller than him: He LOVES it. No cap you being taller or bigger than him is so fucking sexy. Makes him more eager to make you come and more confidence in exploring different ways to do so
Takes a hand in yours and guides you both to press against your stomach, feeling for his cock thrusting into you
Praises you constantly as he feels your walls stretch around him so perfectly
Once you feel like you can take all of him, all of his restraint is gone as he pounds your sopping wet cunt relentlessly
Body worshipping is a must regardless of size
Feral/Primal Kink:
You know how possessive he can be, and that still translates to the bedroom. Even when he knows you're his, he can't help but feel turned on by his possessiveness for you.
And when you're all his, he can go fucking. Crazy.
It's also the dom feeling in him as well, but he has a need to claim you: Not out of insecurity, but out of his desire to make sure you know how much he loves you.
Likes biting your ear as an affectionate gesture. Sometimes he enjoys lightly tugging as a playful gesture to get you riled up.
Marshall thinks the growling thing is dumb as hell but if you're into that he'll try to give you some throaty growls in your ear, but expect him to start cracking up at his attempts until he's used to it
He thinks he can't do it yet he doesn't realize the low rumble in his throat whenever he gets a jealous streak
Voice/Audio Kink:
Well, well, WELL. Someone's ego is about to be stroked harder than his cock for once
He’ll absolutely be moaning and grunting more often when you guys have sex
Jokingly asks if you want to put some music on before you start fucking though he probably cringes listening to his own music during sex
Definitely ruins the mood for him when he hears someone that collabed with him on one of his songs or if any of his lyrics mention things that he doesn't want to think about when horny
Whenever he asks what you're listening to and hears one of his songs, he can't help but inwardly smile or smirk with pride. "Good choice." He nods, keeping his face unreadable.
If he catches you listening to FACK he just starts dying with laughter and dying on the inside simultaneously
No but seriously, he's super fucking flattered knowing how much his music or just his voice turns you on
Whispers in your ear during sex, either praising, teasing, or telling you what to do
He'll be observing which tone provokes the biggest reaction out of you so he can remember it for future reference
(People working with him in the studio are gonna be wondering why he's so close to the mic while recording recently)
Might record something just for your ears to listen to when you guys are apart ;)
Sex Positions
Missionary:
Ah, the OG.
Ranging from being the most vanilla to literally breaking the bed and making the house shake. Most people’s go-to position and Marshall is no different.
He’s got full access to your face, neck, and breasts while he pounds you into the mattress, absolutely loves it and it’s no surprise.
Is eye contact a kink? He’ll be wanting to look you in the eyes no matter the pace you’re going. Additionally may often include forehead touching and/or nose nuzzling. Incredibly hot and intimate.
If he’s feeling extra curious or dominant, he might even push your legs back and over his shoulders to reach even deeper into you. (In other words, putting you in a mating press.) You ain’t walking for a few days after this. Catch his freaky ass all smug n shit.
Slow and intimate in this position is SO fulfilling. It’s like baring your souls to one another.
Going fast and rough is just straight up a joyride and a half. It feels carnal in the best way possible.
Overall you can’t fuck this up really. It’s missionary for crying out loud.
Doggystyle:
*clears throat* Ahem. BARK BARK WOOF WOOF
If you haven’t seen my fic Heat yet, it’s basically me writing smut for the first time in this position but taken to the next level. Should hint at a lot on what imma bout to say tbh
YES. HELL YES. PLEASE LET HIM RAM INTO YOU FROM BEHIND. HE’LL BE POUNDING INTO YOU SO FUCKING HARD
If you go face down on the bed, ass up? Holy shit
Expect bruises on your hips the next morning… also a very horny man ready to go again or to absolutely worship the fuck outta you for taking it so fucking amazingly
He'll be running a bath for you, being extra doting and attentive, the whole nine yards while also feeing that masculine satisfaction™ at the fact that he's able to get you to that state of bliss.
By far the most feral position. If he’s got a breeding kink I wish you luck on how many times you’re gonna come and he’s gonna come
If you’re also into taking it in the ass I respect you 👀 kinky motherfucker would love to explore some new ways to fuck
Pronebone is also basically the same as mentioned above, but it’s got that intimate feel, you get me? He’s closer to you whilst also able to attack your neck and shoulders, maybe even have a hot make out session with you while he continues to pound your pussy or ass raw.
As long as you love taking it from behind he’ll be on his knees for you. And on top of you.
Cowgirl/Reverse Cowgirl, You On Top:
Ride him. That’s all I gotta say.
He wants you to ride him. Fuck him silly. He’ll lose it.
It’s a perfect demonstration of him still being the dom. You may be on top, but he’s the one in control.
Might tease you by making you work hard for a reaction outta him. He’ll be pretending to be unimpressed or smug while you bounce in his lap but in reality he’s trying so hard not to break
Either that, or he won’t be holding back on how good you make him feel. Mouth open, quietly moaning, grabbing your ass or your hips.
If he can't take it anymore, he pulls you down to him and holds you tight while he starts bucking his hips, pounding up into you like a piston
Even once you both come he starts back up again before you've even calmed down
Oral (Giving and Receiving)/69:
I mean… are we really gonna question it? Yeah you better give this guy some head he is a slut for it
Give him a blowjob and he’ll be the happiest man alive
You watching his expressions as you’re sucking him off
Might take some practice to take all of him into your mouth cause this man is BIG
Even when he’s got loose sweatpants on you can still see his bulge AND IT’S NOT WHEN HE’S HARD AND HORNY. MARSHALL’S PACKING.
I wish you luck in trying to deepthroat this man
When it comes to oral, he definitely prefers receiving rather than giving
But don’t you DARE underestimate this man’s tongue cause holy fucking hell he’s feasting on your pussy
PLEASE let him suck on your clit while he’s eating you out. That man’s mouth is amazing in many ways for a reason
Imagine having to go out after and if anyone asks him if he wants anything to eat he just replies: “Nah I’m good. I had something earlier.” And then GIVING YOU THE SIDE EYE LOOK-
BEARD. BURN.
Let this man bury his face in between your thighs and imagine the friction of his beard brushing against your skin. If that doesn’t make you cum then him lapping you up will guaranteed
69 turns into a competition to see who can get the other to cum first, or a comforting session of tasting each other
Standing:
Y'all know he can do it pinning you against a wall. Thanks 8 Mile
As hot as it is, take care as not to have your head or back bang against it
Great for quickies but probably not for a long time; You gotta give his back a break lmao
Hugging your waist from behind tho :eyes:
Add a mirror on both opposite ends of the wall and you can watch him thrust into you
He's holding you real tight and close, making sure to hold you up so your legs won't buckle
Spooning:
Feelin real cozy
It can be lazy morning sex; Intimate and gentle as he places kisses behind your ear and buries his face into your neck while he does long, deep strokes in and out of your walls
Or it can be rough: Holding your thigh up while his hips violently thrust into you, only stilling when he comes after you
Another way is his cock slipping between your thighs and humping you eagerly, or his cock rutting against your ass
Push your hips back in time with his thrusts for deeper penetration or the sound of your skin slapping against each other
His hands clutching your hips or grabbing your breasts as he moans in your ear, feeling his cock twitching with his release
- - -
ALRIGHT TIME TO STOP HERE I’VE BEEN KEEPING THIS IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS Anyways hope y’all enjoyed this and then some <3 I might come back to this and and more so who knows? If you enjoyed let me know your feedback and if you have any suggestions!
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hotchfiles · 8 months ago
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hotch "representing the bau" hotchner x activist!reader who won't stand for bullshit
not like actual conflict cause we know hotch is a very principled guy
more like
"shit i can't shitpost about overthrowing the government anymore cause my boyfriend is the government" vibes
you have no idea how deeply i feel about this i've actually posted about this because i'm very much against all cops and he's a literal fed ! but
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You met in the most conventional of ways, which makes the whole thing even funnier to the outside person. A bar. You noticed him the moment he walked in, too downright gorgeous to be ignored, you stare at him completely shamelessly and get a few shy awkward smiles in return while he sips on his first drink and talks to his companion, who you later learned was Rossi.
He will find it later on that you're not really up for games, but it takes him by surprise when you approach him, card in hand with your phone number and the red stain of your red lips on the other side. He's immediately smitten, being flirted with so openly at his age does wonders for his ego and he makes sure to text you as soon as he gets back to his apartment.
The texting back and forth goes for hours, a lot of flirting, you're much more outspoken than he is, but still you find him hilarious, you will be telling your friends he's the funny one between you two (none of them will believe you, but you like having this only to yourself as well).
You talk movies, plays, music, favorite drinks and by 2AM he asks you on a date. It’s perfect from the get go. He's flattering, compliments your choice of clothes, says he likes the lipstick (the same you used on the card he is keeping safe on his wallet), takes you to a nice restaurant.
You tell him since you made the very first move, he would have to be the one to kiss you, he argues he sent you the first text so you should be the one to do it, in the end none of you know who took the first move, you're just sure you were the one to unlock your apartment door, stumbling along with him as you two passionately kissed.
It's not common for this to happen for him, he's too much of a gentleman, sleeping with someone on the first date isn't the gentlemanly thing to do, you're not attached to those norms so even if he tried to argue, your lips glued to his neck as you worked on his belt took his mind off of it.
It's not until the next morning that he really notices your place: The types of books you had, some revolutionary art pieces and it's then he realizes he has no idea what you do for a living. Neither did he tell you he was a FBI agent. You two talked long hours and career wasn't even a topic (that may be why you caught his heart so fast).
You were a journalist, a writer, quite proficient and known for your progressive ideals and less than civil protests, so when you both realize the differences and the conflict it might bring, the first instinct was to pull away. Forget the whole thing. It was only one date after all.
It's a matter of days for the realization that being apart won't happen, your thoughts are filled with him and his voice and the way he touched you and Aaron can possibly detail every curve of your body and the way you smelled as if he was still in bed with you.
There's a mutual agreement of public discretion, you can't have your readers knowing you're falling for a fed, nor does the media needs any more reasons to write about the FBI.
His team knows though, and so does Strauss, she had to be warned of the possibility of your name popping up in some lists. She reads half of your writings after that, highlighting stuff you should not be writing about (you won't listen to her on it) and the compromise you make is to keep all of your opposition material completely professional, no tweets, no tiktoks, nothing of the sort with jokes about overthrowing the government.
"Did you... Did you just cite and use one of Stalin's books as a resource here?" He asks, he's in your bed, blue boxer shorts and white t-shirt on, completely comfortable with you already, his reading glasses sit on top of his nose like an old man and he furrows his brows, looking up at you. Aaron's interested in what you write, he truly reads whatever you hand him just to learn more about you, he's not the one to try to censure any of it.
"Well yeah... His writings are the easiest to comprehend on the topic." You shrug, not understanding the tone of his question at first.
"Honey... You can't just... Do you know how many... Forget it. Your editor will love it." His poor attempts to talk you down failing each time he looked over and saw your expectant eyes as his opinion is important to you. You smile at his defeat, taking the papers from his hand and throwing somewhere else in the room, his glasses go to the bedside table and soon you're kissing any of his worries away.
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hippiepowrs · 8 months ago
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one night lookin' pretty
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eddie munson x fem!metalhead!reader
you and eddie hate school dances, but you decide to go to the prom this year--with someone who isn't eddie. eddie does not like that, but can't say anything.
a/n: this is my first longer fic so i hope you like it. prom season is coming up so this is kinda self indulgent (as if all my fics aren't). this one is for all my weird girls out there! title from one night in the city by dio btw. :)
warnings: hurt/comfort. angsty for a while but gets fluffy. swearing. a guy being a total asshole to reader. reader wears a dress. reader and eddie both self-described as 'freak.' eddie being a jealous and insecure idiot. both are oblivious as fuck. eddie is REALLY dorky. eddie's backstory and parents--i did not read that book so i don't care if it's canon. idiots in love in the end. pretty cliche but i don't care!
wc: 3.8k
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It’s prom night, and Eddie is sitting alone on his couch. Without you. 
Usually, you guys skip every school event together in favor of watching a shitty movie and smoking half of his stock, but tonight was different. Someone asked you to the prom, and it wasn’t him. 
He’s been acting off for the past two weeks, you noticed. He’s been quiet and snappy, and has been opting to jack up the stereo instead of talk on your drives home. When you asked him what was wrong, he pushed you away. So, you left him alone about it. He made it clear he wanted his space.
He didn’t even want to show up to see you in your dress. You called him last night to see if he would come over–he told you he was sick. He wasn’t fully lying, though. The thought of you going to that stupid school dance with that stupid school boy made him nauseous. It didn’t make sense to him. How did you switch your views on the prom so fast? Months ago, the two of you laughed at the idea of going. Now, you were dressed up all pretty, just like all those popular girls you claimed to hate. He had to watch that sleazy ass car pull into to the trailer park, right up next to his. He’d never admit that he watched you step out of your trailer with that guy, and wished it was him. 
Being completely honest with yourself, your date isn’t even exactly your type. Todd isn’t some freak like you or your friends, but he isn’t a complete asshole either. He asked you in the hallway two weeks ago, and your instinct was to laugh at him. You laughed in his face, but he didn’t budge. He really wanted to take you to the prom, so you told him you’d go. It felt nice to be wanted. It was okay that he wasn’t some rock n’ roll dude like you’re into–it’s not like you’re marrying him. It’s just the prom. 
You and Todd arrive at the Hawkins High gym, hand in sweaty hand. Pushing the anxiety clawing at your throat back down, you give him a smile as you walk to get your photo taken together. The frilly, glittery background reminds you that this place isn’t for you. Again, you push that down. 
The music isn’t really your style, either, but everyone is having so much fun you feel the need to pretend. None of your friends are here, so you’re stuck. Maybe you should have pregamed, you think. Too late now. Todd pulls you onto the dance floor with a fervor you’ve never seen in him. You don’t understand how a person can have so much fun dancing to this shitty music. It’s a lot easier to get through when you pretend that Todd is Eddie, and you’re dancing to mixtapes in his room. You decide not to think about the implications of that right now. When the song ends, you offer to grab punch for the both of you. Maybe it’ll be spiked. 
As you make your way back to Todd, you see him chatting with a few of his friends, and from this distance you can just begin to hear them.
“So, when do I get my twenty bucks from each of you? She’s totally ruining my reputation right now.” He laughs, and your stomach churns.
“Okay, yeah, you proved us wrong. You got her here, you danced, you win.” His friend confirms the fear that’s been looming over you like a dark cloud since Todd first asked you out. 
“You at least better hold onto her long enough to get her home with you tonight, man!” Another friend cackles, and you think you’re going to vomit.
How were you stupid enough to think that he actually liked you?
God, you’re so gullible. 
At least there’s nothing to lose now, you think. Walking over to him, drinks in hand, you dump both of them on his head. They splash on his stupid hair and drench his stupid suit. The music keeps playing. A few people turn to look. The room doesn’t stop for you like some trashy romcom. Everyone just keeps going. 
Storming out to the parking lot, nothing can stop the burning tears from pouring down your face. You slump down against the brick wall, fabric of your dress sticking to the rough sidewalk. The warm spring air feels sticky on your cheeks. You wish you had stayed in with Eddie.
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. You need to call Eddie. Todd drove you here, so it’s either Eddie or walk, and these heels already hurt enough. Your body feels like dead weight as you drag yourself to the payphone on the wall, punching in the number that’s engraved into your heart. 
“Hey.” You greet, choked up. You’re trying to keep your composure. You know it won’t last long.
“…Hey. Havin’ fun with Mr. Popular?” There’s a bitterness to his tone. Usually he would’ve picked up on the fact that you were crying in a split second, but tonight he was too angry.
“Uhm, not really. Could you, uh,” you sniffle, blowing your thin cover, “pick me up? Like, now?”
You can almost hear his demeanor shift over the phone. A beat of silence passes.
“I’ll be right there.” He’s clearly still upset, because he hangs up the phone without saying goodbye. But his one-sided irritation can’t override the facts: he cares about you so much that he immediately hops in his van and starts speeding to the school, even faster than normal.
You sit back at the edge of the sidewalk, staring into the empty night over the parking lot. God, this is so cliché. Freak gets taken to prom as a joke; left crying outside. You know how pointless it is to cry over this guy. You don’t even care about him, to be honest. But it’s not really him you’re crying over. It’s the extensive disappointment you repeatedly put yourself through after expecting different results—it’s the fact that you haven’t stopped thinking about Eddie all night. 
As you begin to probe deeper into the ethical implications of falling in love with your best friend, said best friend whips into the parking lot, tires skidding as he pulls right up to you and parks. He drives just how he lives his life—with a sense of urgency and passion you don’t see in many. His van stops diagonally in the middle of the pickup lane, and he hops out of the driver’s side door, so worried he can’t be bothered to close it before sprinting to your side. 
For the past six minutes—which is Eddie’s new personal record on getting to the school from Forest Hills—his mind has been racing with every possibility of what could have happened to you tonight. Maybe Todd had another girl, or is just boring, or maybe you got totally Carrie’d and some assholes poured pig’s blood all over you. Not likely, but hey, you never know the determination of Hawkins’ resident assholes. At least if you got Carrie’d you’d look metal as fuck. That would be a good album cover. But that’s not the point. What he’s more worried about is the possibility that that dickwad touched you in any way. Just the thought is enough for him to completely light up—he got pretty close to breaking his steering wheel from how hard he was gripping it. 
“What happened?” He tries to act nonchalant, but that’s something he’s never been good at. 
Your head is held between your knees, looking down into nothingness. He’s staring daggers into the top of your head, and you can almost feel the fact that he wants to say ‘I told you so.’ Reluctantly, your wet eyes tilt upwards, the rest of your head following. 
“Let’s just talk in the van.” He sighs. 
You don’t budge. Your legs feel far too wobbly to imagine getting up right now. He has zero patience at the moment, it seems, as evidenced by the fact that he almost immediately picks you up bridal style and carries you directly to the passenger’s side of his van. He fumbles with the door handle for a second before setting you down gently in the seat. You watch him drag a frustrated hand over his face through the windshield as he walks back to his side, and although you know you didn’t do anything wrong, you’re worried that you did. 
The engine roars into life, turning your seat into a makeshift massage chair. Eddie pulls out of the parking lot as quickly as he pulled in, but with a little more focus. He doesn’t turn his music on, which is a bad sign. 
“It was a bet,” is all you can say, voice soft and defeated, “because, of fucking course it was.” You stare out the window, head tapping against the glass as he hits a pothole straight on.
“I told you that asshole was bad news.” His voice is laced with venom. He’s never been good at controlling his anger—especially when it has to do with you. 
You stay silent. Anything you say right now will probably just piss him off more. 
“Why do you—why do you always do this to yourself? You’re always finding these guys that just want to take you out to say they were able to take you out. They treat you like a fucking trophy.” He scoffs. 
You look at him again, tears still silently falling. Even if you wanted to say something to that, you can’t seem to find your voice. 
“I just don’t get it. You’re, like, totally perfect,” he coughs, gripping the wheel harder, “and these guys you find are total douches. You can do so much better.”
“It’s not like there’s anyone better around here,” you mumble while staring out the window, like some kid talking back to their parent for the first time. 
“That’s not my point!” His yell rings out against the hum of the engine, the dull drumming being the only sound left as he hangs a sharp right turn. “I just don’t understand why you’re so eager to find some guy that you throw your morals out the door.” Eddie’s eyes dart to you for a moment before looking back at the road. 
“I haven’t thrown my morals out the door.” You argue softly. 
“Yes, you have! We always said we’d never suck up to the bullshit they want us to do, that we’d never let them turn us normal, and here you are at the fucking prom.”
“Eddie, it’s prom! It’s not like I fucking stabbed my mother!”
“We’re supposed to be the freaks! We’re Hellfire! We piss people off! That’s our whole thing! You can’t just—fuck—just throw that out!” He groans angrily, pulling into Forest Hills, slowing down as you near the Munson trailer. 
“I’m not throwing it out.” You say, much more firmly. 
“You’re throwing me out!” There it goes, the root of the entire issue. He’s always been worried that you’ll find someone cooler, someone less abrasive, someone who will make you laugh and smile more than he can. Logically, he knows that would never happen, but he can’t help his fear. He throws the van into park and slams the door as he gets out. 
Eddie was eight when he met you. He’d been living with Wayne for a little over a year by the time you moved next door, but he was still struggling. His mother left him first, then his father. He missed his mom a lot, but his dad probably caused him more pain, knowing that he had the choice whether or not to stay, but Eddie wasn’t enough. Uncle Wayne was nicer to him than his father had ever been, but that can’t fix a broken kid. 
Then one day, you showed up in your ratty hand-me-downs, a year and a half younger than him. He thought that girls had cooties, but you were different. You didn’t giggle or try to hide your gaze like the other girls did when they made fun of him to each other. Instead, you walked right up to him and said hi. 
You were new, and you didn’t have the best clothes—he could tell you were probably going through something similar to him—so the kids at school kicked you to the curb. You were just as pretty as the other girls, he thought, if not prettier, as much as a seven-year-old can be. But that didn’t really seem to matter to them. Your lunchbox was plain, theirs had characters. 
When the two of you got to be in junior high at the same time, him in the eighth grade and you in sixth, he thought for sure that you would find new, more popular friends. It was incredibly shocking to him that you’d rather hang out with some dorky boy with an ugly buzz cut who’s two grades ahead of you than the other pretty girls, but he wasn’t going to complain. 
He’s lived with that fear constantly since then, always preparing himself to see you walking into school one day in some pastel sweater instead of your band shirts and battle vest. He knows you won’t, he knows you’re better than that, and he feels so guilty for always expecting the worst, but he can’t help it. 
You hop out of the passenger’s side of the van, holding up the skirt of your dress like some elegant princess. But instead of some grand, ornate staircase, you’re simply walking up the concrete steps of the Munson trailer and following Eddie, who’s storming inside. 
“Eddie.” You sound like a scolding mother, tears having dried up a few minutes ago, and you shut the door behind you. “Why do you think so lowly of me?” Your voice cracks with the weight of the question. 
Eyes widening, Eddie never realized quite how much his thoughts could affect you until right now. “I don’t,” he says softly. “You’re the best person I know.”
“You say that, but you always think I’m gonna leave you for someone else. You’re my best fucking friend. I’m not just gonna cut you off at the drop of a hat.”
“I- I know that,” he stammers out, a little shaken. 
“Do you?”
“Look, I,” he sighs, finally turning around, “I’m just scared. I’m scared that one day you’ll wake up and realize how fucking lame I am, and you won’t want to deal with me and all my bullshit anymore.” 
“The world isn’t against you, Eddie.”
He opens his mouth to quip back something snarky, but he closes it as he thinks about your words again. 
“You hate yourself so much that it’s beginning to rub off on me, because I’m friends with you, and if I like you, you think that surely there’s something wrong with me, too.” 
He’s stunned into silence, your words stabbing him straight through the heart. 
“Can you at least tell me why you were being a dick for the past few weeks?” You switch the subject slightly with a sigh. 
Eddie takes a deep breath. “Because of Troy asking you to prom.”
“Todd.”
“Yeah, whatever. He was my problem.”
“Why were you mad at me for that, though?”
“I knew he was gonna hurt you.”
“You didn’t say anything about that, though. You just said he was an ass once and then pushed me away for two straight weeks.”
Standing in the middle of the dark trailer, Eddie is presented with two options: confess his lifelong, undying love for you, or don’t. He knows that the only good and honest explanation he can give you involves a love confession, and he hates lying to you. But one thing trumps the fact that he hates lying to you, and it’s that Eddie is a complete and utter pussy. 
Eddie is, and always has been, a pussy. In middle school, you acted as his bodyguard—self-appointed, and very passionate—which only made him get bullied worse. You didn’t care. You’d defend him until the end of time. You’d take a hundred tugs to your ponytail or face-plants in the lunchroom so that he wouldn’t have to. You weren’t very loud or talkative in school, until it came to defending Eddie. 
To Eddie, you’re this glowing beacon of light and hope in his life. Everything good comes from you. And if he confesses his feelings to you, and you don’t feel the same, that pillar comes crashing down. 
But…what if? What if you did feel the same? That’s stupid, he thinks. Clearly you don’t, because otherwise you wouldn’t have gone to prom with another guy. And he’s sure you already know about his big, fat crush, and you’re choosing to act like you don’t notice.
“I’m sorry.” You can tell he’s nervous by the way he’s fingering riffs on the side of his thigh. 
“You always get so upset when I talk to guys. It’s not like there can be only one guy in my life.” 
“I know that, it’s just–” This is going to be the worst decision he’s ever made, and he knows it, but he can’t stop himself. “--I’m jealous, okay?”
“Obviously you’re fucking jealous, dickweed.” As you call him your favorite nickname, the intent behind his words reaches you, and your cheeks begin to heat up. “…Wait.”
“Have you seriously not picked up on this yet?” Eddie is genuinely surprised at your reaction. “You—you’re perfect, you know that? You’re the coolest person I’ve ever met, and I don’t know how you do it.” His voice is softer than normal. 
“Yeah, but—like, are you serious?” You ask. 
“I wouldn’t joke about this. I’ve been, like, totally into you forever. I’m surprised Gareth or Jeff didn’t say anything to you.”
“They did a while ago, but I thought they were messing with me.” 
“Okay, I honestly can’t blame you for that.”
A moment passes in silence, and you think about how to respond. 
“You know, I didn’t really want to go with Todd.”
“What? Why did you then?”
“I hoped that you would ask me,” you admit, eyes drifting to your feet, “but it was kind of a stupid thing to expect.”
His jaw goes slack as he hears you speak. 
“I guess that I’ve just kinda had this pipe dream where we’d go to prom together, and I’d be able to dress up all pretty, and we could dance together.” You avoid his gaze, until you hear him scurrying down the hallway. 
He emerges back out with his stereo in one hand and a cassette in the other, scrambling to place it down on the kitchen table and shoving the tape inside. He immediately skips to the song he has in mind. The familiar sound of Tommy Lee’s piano starts from beside you, and before you can figure out what’s happening, he’s offering his hand to you. 
“May I have this dance?” 
A smile grows on your face. “God, you’re such a fucking dork.” Your insult doesn’t come without placing your hand in his. He’s bright red, and he’s never slow danced in his life. 
Mötley Crüe’s Home Sweet Home is interrupted occasionally by the sound of feet stepping on feet and the subsequent ow!’s that follow, as well as the flustered giggling of two idiots in love. 
Eddie pulls you a little closer, his hands firmly planted on your waist. “You look really beautiful tonight,” he murmurs, “sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” 
He feels extremely underdressed compared to you, him in his favorite torn up pair of black jeans and an Exodus muscle tee, and you in your stunningly gorgeous dress, looking prettier than any princess he could ever imagine. 
“Thank you,” you mumble back, flustered, “you don’t look too—fuck!—too bad yourself, you know.” A playful giggle comes with your words, and a huge grin grows on Eddie’s face. 
“Yeah?” He teases, looking right in your eyes. 
“Yeah.”
“Can I kiss you?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” you giggle, staring right back. 
Leaning in, he lets out a nervous laugh before pressing his lips to yours. It’s not some magical explosion of energy that cures all your problems and fixes world hunger; but his lips are soft and warm, and he tastes like weed, gummy worms and a hint of shitty beer, and it feels right. 
You kiss him a few more times before the song ends, all quick and chaste but completely full of love. Pulling you along with him, not wanting to let go, he pauses the tape and the trailer goes quiet again. 
“Was I better at that than Troy?”
“Todd.”
“Point still stands, fuckface.”
Eddie drags you down the hall to his bedroom, the familiar ambiance warming you like a comforting blanket. Jumping onto the bed with a plop, the boy pats beside him invitingly.
“Can I change first?” You ask, ecstasy of the moment wearing off, allowing you to remember how itchy this damn dress is.
“‘Course. Your shirt is clean if you want it.” He calls it your shirt, but it was his at one point. The old Metallica tee used to be his favorite one, too, which meant it got a lot of wear and tear. But then you started wearing it at sleepovers, and it quickly became your shirt. Eddie didn’t like to wash it afterward because it smelled like you. He always felt like a creep for that.
Your hand tries its best to wrap around and pull the impossibly tiny zipper down, but it doesn’t want to budge. Eddie, watching you as intently as ever, quickly notices and jumps up to help you. His fingers move to your waist, soft and nimble, and gently undo the zipper for you. You let your dress fall to the ground, and he looks away, flustered. It’s not like he hasn’t seen you in your underwear before, but now it feels a lot more serious.
Quickly throwing on the hole-filled Metallica shirt and a clean pair of his boxers, both of you hop back into his bed. You’ve shared plenty of nights here before, but once again, now it feels different. You sense that it will become a common theme for your life in the near future. His hands snake back around your waist and pull you next to him, and you allow your head to rest against his chest.
“So… does this mean you’re, like, my girlfriend now, or what?” A goofy smirk is plastered across his face as he asks. 
You try to playfully shove him off of you, to no avail. “Are you seriously fucking asking me that?” You’re trying so hard to act angry, but your giggles give you away.
“Yes, yes it does.” You seal it with a kiss. Then one on his cheek, and the other, and his forehead, and the tip of his nose.
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writingroom21 · 5 months ago
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Letters To Your Lover
Pairing: rafe x reader
Summary: After moving into a new place together, Rafe finds your old middle school diary. Along with it the thousands of love letters to your middle school crush.
Warnings: 18+, smut, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it up), orgasim denial, Rafe being an idiot, let me know if I missed any
Wc: 1K
“What the hell is this?”
 Rafe burst into the living room holding a little bound notebook. The two of you just moved in together after dating for a year and a half. You were in the middle of unpacking the kitchen boxes as he was in the bedroom going through both of your boxes. That's when he found the little book at the bottom of one of your boxes. 
Curiosity got the best of him and he had to take a look. At first everything was fine. Some notes from when you were in middle school. Then as he kept going he noticed a shift, it started to become a diary a few pages in. Stories of your days painted on the page for him to take a glimpse of your childhood.
His smile faded when he found the first letter. A little note to your crush that seemed to be never ending. Letter after letter gushing about some kid you were obsessed with. Realistically he knows that this was middle school you, the two of you weren't even friends until Junior year of highschool.
There’s no logical reason for him to be so upset about some old crush you had. Then he thinks about the fact you kept them. He looks at the pages, imprinting the letters to memory. He can’t shake the feeling that this is who you really want, there’s no other explanation as to why you would still have these.
Dear pretty boy,
Today you smiled at me in the hall and it made the butterflies in my stomach flutter. I wish you would fully notice me. I would do anything for you to actually feel the same way about me. But it’s okay, I can wait.
Hey pretty boy,
Your eyes are so pretty, they have become my favorite color. The way you smile is so bright and I wish I could make you that happy. Everyday I wake up hoping this will be the day you notice me. Maybe tomorrow will be the day, maybe not. All I know is that deep down we are meant for each other.
The list goes on, note after note. It disgusts him to think that you even call him that. That’s your special nickname for him and here it is used for another guy. His anger gets the best of him and now he’s standing in front of you. Holding the book in your face as you give him a confused look.
“Umm a diary?” He scoffs and throws it on the counter behind you. “Yeah, one filled with love letters.” It clicked in your head that he read it and saw all the cringy letters you wrote. “Oh god you read all of those? I'm so embarrassed right now.” You have got to be kidding him. You’re embarrassed because he read them and not over the fact you kept something for another person.
“God I knew you liked being a slut but really keeping this shit is something else. Just thought I wouldn’t find this.” What is he even going on about? It’s something you did as a child. “Rafe.” He does let you continue your sentence. “Get on your knees right now.” He’s unbuckling his belt as you sink to the floor. 
Whipping out his dick, he starts to stroke it as you open your mouth for him. This isn’t the first time he’s punished you like this. He finds it amusing to watch the tears pool up in your eyes as you try not to choke on him. Without much care he shoves himself into your waiting mouth, touching the back of your throat before retreating. The cycle continues, he brutally face fucks you in the middle of the kitchen.
The sounds of your choked moans and gags fill up the room. Tears are falling down your cheeks only fueling him. “Maybe next time you’ll think about not writing to someone else. Fucking dumbass catching your attention.” Wait, is this what it’s all about? The letters being to someone else? God this man could be dumb.
Just before he’s about to cum he pulls out and grips your hair to tug you up. “Come on, bend over. I’m only cumming in your pussy.” He manhandles you over the counter and pulls your shorts along with your panties down. You are already soaked from sucking him off so he easily slid right in. “Wuch a wet fucking pussy. You just love when you suck me off don’t you sweetie. My little cock drunk whore.” You moan loudly at his words.
His pace gets faster if that’s even possible, thrusting hard into you. “Who do you belong to?” Rafe has always been possessive but never in the bedroom. Something about reading your silly crush letters just set him off. He knows you liked other people but in his brain he was the only one you ever wanted. Seeing it aimed at someone else is like torture, even if it was from years ago. 
His thrust gets more intense, ready to cum any minute. “Come on, tell me.” he delivers a hard smack to the globe of your ass. “You baby. Always going to be you.” Being satisfied with hearing you agree that you did it for him. Like an automatic response he was cumming right after your sentence ended.
The two of you stay there for a second, not really moving. Reluctantly he pulls out and slides your pants back up. Here’s the part of your punishment that you hate, orgasm denial. It’s known that anything he gives you is taken like a champ, finding pleasure in the pain. But this, he figured out how much you hate being denied an orgasm early on. That’s his favorite form of punishment.
“You know those letters were about you right?” You are still bent over the counter, forehead rested on it. He tenses behind you. “What?” You turn around and look at him, smiling at the dumbstruck look on him. “Those corny letters were about you dumbass. Had this huge crush on you back then.”
With no words he gives you a kiss and throws you over his shoulder. “What are you doing?” you giggle as he walks towards the bedroom. “We have a new bed to break in and it seems like I owe you a few orgasm’s as an apology” How could you argue with that? The rest of the night was spent wrapped in each other's arms, forgetting about the pile of boxes scattered around.
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azure-arsonist · 3 months ago
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This is such a great analysis if my laptop wasn't broken I'd be able to screenshot your tags too everyone definitely check them out!
I'm super sick right now but I want to put this out there maybe somebody with more energy can take a crack at it
I love Fmab and I've been subconsciously comparing mha to it as the story goes on (afo and father, how well they execute their overalls themes,comparing Roy and Endeavor's atonement arcs, etc) and something that struck me is the similar aspects of the final battle (ie everyone coming to help defeat the big bad, the final punch, the protagonist giving up a power that meant so much to them) and something that struck me is how greed's death compares to Tomura's obviously they're different characters and have different roles in the narrative but both have their bodies possessed by the big bad, both actively help weaken the big bad to aid the protagonist and both die. But greed's death is so much more satisfying as an end to his character than Tomura's, it's so much more impactful.
Idk there's definitely something to expand upon there something to sink your teeth into but I'm too sick right now you guys get what I'm saying though right? Pls I really wanna talk about this with somebody 🥺
#mha meta#fmab meta#prev tags incoming for you guys to read#Unfortunately this has been a bit of a writing weakness of Hori's before#Full cards on the table: I dropped early bnha because of this problem and only got invested later when it seemed to get a bit better#For the first half of its run bnha is really shakey on its on themes imo and has to catch itself from mucking them up often#And it didn't seem intentional at all I actually think Hori was failed by his editor somewhat#Not to let him off the hook for writing what he wrote but narrative conflicts like this is literally an editors job to spot#And im personally just so sad that Hori almost pulled his story out of his worst impulses but alas#Oomfie says it feels like his own insecurities as a writer got the better if him and...yeah :(#Yeah it really does seem like he got cold feet and felt his themes were too cringe and that people would be happier with something else#But he wasn't writing that something else so he just kinda ruined what he had going last minute imo. Oh well.#I think a lot about Hirohiko Araki's book Manga In Theory And In Practice where he outlines a lot of common writer traps and#Ofc there's It Was All Just A Dream and Shocking Deaths and why they usually do not work#And why he killed Jonathan Joestar and why and how that actually worked when he's so actually against those endings normally#And it really just comes down to set up and themes and understanding your duty to the audience a lot of the time#And it's amazing how easy it is to make theses mistakes as a writer even with the best of intentions and a lot of experience#Subverting the audiences expectations does not automatically equal substance in particular#It's a really good read esp for fans of shounen but also just for writers in general imo#A recc for these trying times ig lol#Sorry for hijacking your post stranger you probably could a better and more detailed post mortem than I#dont apologize this analysis is so succulent and flavourful like a prime cut of meat you totally made my day with this
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exhaslo · 1 year ago
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Would you ever consider doing anything for Miguel/Fem!Deadpool reader?
One who's honestly just kind of tease which makes it impossible for Miguel to figure out *why* he hates her flirting with other spidermen so much until the penny hits.
Bonus points for recklessness and brat energy from DP we all know they aint got no self control. Needs Miguel to definitely put her in her place.
Ohhhh, I have seen so much fan art of just regular Deadpool being a menace to Miguel, Dr. Strange and the TVA. It gets me excited to see the new movie coming out!
But yea, let's give into the chaos!
Warning: MINORS DNI, Smut, bondage, angry sex?, p in v, language
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"For fuck's sake, why is there so many anomaly's popping up in different universes?" Miguel barked, tapping against his screens as he sent numerous Spiderman and women out to the field.
"Actually, based on the energy signatures, it seems to be the same anomaly."
"Impossible, one person jumping around all of these?" Miguel cussed lowly, trying to identify the new anomaly.
This new frustration was giving Miguel a reason to want to drink tonight. The speed he was working to try and understand this problem was honestly amazing. This was probably the fastest he has ever worked.
"Wow! No wonder why all of the Spiders I met say great things about you!" You gasped.
"Que?! (What)" Miguel hissed, seeing both a new intruder alert and anomaly alert appear at the same time, "Who-"
"Haiiiiiii! Pleasure to meet you, sexy ass, my name is (Y/N), I'm like the hottest version of me there is-"
"I. Don't. Care." Miguel hissed, jumping down from his platform and approaching you, "This attire...fuck-"
"Yeeeeep! I'mma Deadpool!" You chirped.
Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose before taking long, deep breathes. Once he regained a portion of his composure, he proceeded to grab you by the collar and drag you to the 'Go Home' Machine.
At least one of his problems were solved today. Hopefully you will stay in your dimension. Trying to ignore your chatter, Miguel couldn't help but notice some of the other Spiders avoiding eye contact. This annoyed Miguel. How many of them ran into you before saying anything?
"Hm? Oh like half of them." You replied. Miguel groaned loudly,
"Wasn't even a thought bubble," He muttered under his breathe before arriving in the room, "I don't want to see you here again. Stay in your world."
"Awe, but isn't fun! Not when I found such a squeezable ass-"
"Send. Her. Home!" Miguel spat.
It only took a second, but you were sent home immediately. Miguel took another deep breathe before returning to his office to hopefully relax.
----------
"Hehe, he gets so mad when he finds me wandering around this place. It totally isn't my fault that all of you guys think of taking a break here and I just-hop into those thoughts and end up here!" You huffed, talking to Peter B. Parker and Jessica.
"Yeah, yeah, we still don't understand the whole hopping into thought bubbles thing you say you do. It's so confusing." Peter huffed.
"Oh, it's pretty easy. I'd like to describe it as a comic book, but you guys won't understaaaaand, the readers will though!"
"Readers?" Jessica groaned softly. You just laughed,
"Oh yeah! The readers reading this now! So like, normally it's a comic I hop around or thought bubbles or I just rip through the screen, but this time...It's the readers who bring me here!"
"I think I'm more confused than when I started," Peter whined and turned to Jessica who tossed you into the 'Go Home' machine, "Look, just...don't come back before Miguel gets bad again."
"Hpmh! I just said it isn't my fault I keep coming back!" You whined loudly, "The readers and writer keeps bringing me here! I am meant to share my wisdom to Miguel!"
"Why do I hear that Deadpool's voice?" Miguel grumbled, holding a cup of coffee as he walked by, "Again?"
"See! He neeeeeeds me! That has to be why the writer keeps putting me here!"
"What the hell is she babbling about now?"
"Please, don't ask. I don't think my brain can handle anymore." Peter whimpered. Jessica waved him aside,
"She's going home now, Miguel."
Just as the machine turned on, you immediately got sent home. Miguel let out a sigh of relief and right when he was going to drink his coffee, you appeared behind him.
"Fuck!" Miguel yelled as he noticed you. You just casually waved,
"Believe in the spirits beyond."
"I want her gone!"
"Miguel, we've tried so many times. I think...we just need to accept her appearing here." Jessica whispered. You grabbed Miguel's cup, taking a sip,
"Oof, so bitter. So now that I can stay here under the writer decides to let me go home, wanna show me around, big boy?"
Miguel felt his eye twitch as he followed you, mainly just wanting his coffee back.
------------
It has been a few weeks since you've stayed at the-
"Whoa, whoa. Really writer? You gonna make here stay here for weeks without going home?" You huffed.
Okay, sorry, um, it has been a few weeks since you started to willingly appear at the Spider Society.
"Thank you!"
....
Uh, anyway, Miguel has finally started to tolerate you to a certain degree. You still couldn't understand why you kept appearing there, but you were making the most of it. Miguel on the other hand, was starting to find something new to irritate him.
"It's just so fascinating how different each of you are~ Can I touch those wonderful large boobs of yours?" You whispered in awe towards a Spiderman. Yes a Spiderman.
"They're not boobs."
"It's okay to not want to admit your flaws. I buried mine with my neighbor." You whispered, slowly reaching out to the boob.
"Enough." Miguel hissed, grabbing the back of your collar and dragging you to his office.
"Hey! I was about to grab something that could have been the most magically experience of my life!"
Miguel chose to ignore you, growing annoyed at your bratty and quite ignorant behavior. Honestly, he was more annoyed by the amount of flirting you've been doing with the other Spiders. You just didn't know when to stop.
"I can't help it. A natural icon I am," You chuckled and grabbed Miguel's ass, "But this...is a multiverse icon."
Miguel's eyes lit up as he locked his door and tossed you on his platform. In an instant, he webbed you in place, making sure that you couldn't move to try to free yourself.
"Ohhhh~ This is kinky~" You cooed, rolling around like a worm. Miguel pinned you to the floor, his blood red eyes piercing into yours,
"Do you know how frustrated you make me?"
"So...you aren't happy to see me?" You grinned, your knee poking at his growing erection, "I made you horny!"
"Silence," Miguel covered your mouth, "Shit, you're so annoying. No one has been able to put you in your place. Do I need to be the one to do that?" He said with a huff.
You licked his hand in response, "Awe, not sure if a fucking will stop me, but you are so willing to try~" You hummed.
Miguel felt his eye twitch as he captured your lips in a kiss, wanting to shut you up. You couldn't help yourself and smirked, enjoying this moment. Parting your lips, you hummed as Miguel forced his tongue into your mouth, his hands roaming your body.
"Mhm~ Gim....sq..." You tried to say. Miguel broke the kiss, glaring towards your,
"What?" He grumbled, biting and sucking against your neck. You chuckled as his hands reached your breasts,
"Give em a squeeze~ You know you wanna~"
"Do I have to shut your mouth again?" Miguel grumbled, kissing you again.
You tried your best to behave, you truly did. You couldn't help but try to grind against his hips, press your chest to his, or even kiss his neck. Miguel was ready to web your mouth, at least until he started to rub your-
"Whoa, whoa, writer, now I don't mind a good sex scene, but lemme have some privacy here!" You huffed.
Uh, I kind of wrote smut in the warning...so I'm giving the readers what they want, a sex scene.
"Well, I want this man to myself right now! You write other smuts! Let them read those!"
But they wanted this...I can't just-
"Consent!" You huffed, literally spreading your legs towards a feral Miguel who had you pinned, "This is different! I'm totally into this freaky shit!"
"Who are you talking too?" Miguel grumbled, ripping your suit. You shushed towards him,
"The writer! Wait juuuuust a second before shoving that monster of a cock inside me!"
I need to give them a sex scene here. You're already helping me write it.
"No, no! You are trying to write it. I'm trying to enjoy the moment. So be a good writer and juuuuuuuust-"
---------
"Thank you~"
What just happened?
"Oh, I totally skipped the part where Miguel fucked me so good that I actually did shut up. Hell, I think I still feel weak in the knees. Who would have known the stamina and strength that man had. Fucking hot, can't wait to-"
You skipped my story?! I'm the writer here!
"Yeaaaaaah, but like, you can always write more smut. Let me just enjoy that moment to me~. I'm sure you understand~" You cooed.
...
"Hehe, go on. End the story. I'm sure you have other smut to write."
I just- Whatever.
Let's just say, you made yourself a permanent member of the Spider Society. You made sure to annoy Miguel just enough so that he could keep teaching you a lesson. Hopefully, we'll get to see one of those lessons one of these days.
"Maybe~ If I decide to show the goods."
Freaking Deadpools.
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Hahaha, hope you enjoyed! I always loved it when Deadpool would just talk to the narrator or hop comic pages sometimes. It was great.
@tojishugetiddies
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