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ladyloveandjustice · 5 months ago

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I know this might be old, but I had a reaction to it and wanted to give my take, so I apologize. To me, this reads like a disinterest in female characters making fans refuse to dig into them and even try to deny their monumental importance to the narrative. Yes, the narrative could have given Nina more to do and more characterization. But saying she doesn't accomplish anything in the story Tenma doesn't? That she doesn't symbolize anything, that she doesn't impact it, that she's replaceable?? is so wild, when her actions are what incite the entire story and the inciting incident that sets the finale in motion. She shoots her brother in the head after discovering his murder of their foster parents and that leads to them going to the hospital, him needing surgery, to every event we see happen afterwards, the entire story! Then she causes the inciting incident of the finale by informing Johan that his major trauma was actually her major trauma. This very visibly effects Johan and did very much obviously influence his plans.

Second, it is blindingly obvious to me what Nina symbolizes. She's what Johan could have been, and he's what she could have been. Nina buried her trauma so much she can't even remember, and subconsciously took the words about not becoming a monster to heart. Though this repression was in no way healthy or good for her, it did mean she was able to grow up with loving parents. She lives a normal life- she's charismatic, athletic, intelligent, popular, driven---Johan is also all of these things, but he uses these qualities to trap and hurt others, and that's all he thinks he can do. In additon to carrying his own trauma, he's the living embodiment of Nina's trauma, he made it his own, and he lost the ability to form relationships the way she does--she's the only thing in the world to him, but he's not that for her. What Johan is to Nina is what she could have been if she had taken on Johan's trauma and her own and carried it and her resulting nihilism everywhere as if it were her duty, if she hadn't been told and believed she's not a monster. And Johan, on some very deep subconscious level, wishes he could be Nina, wishes he could live an average life, we see him disguise himself as her, he seems kind of like he wants to slip into her identity.

Seeing this is probably why Nina chooses to forgive him. Understanding "that could have been me". Especially since she seems to believe if she'd told Johan about hearing "you two aren't monsters" it might have changed things for him (would it have? Unclear). And I don't understand why you'd think Tenma didn't see that too and that wasn't part of his decision to not only not kill Johan, but save him all over again. He came to pity Johan again, and that was in part because he saw that Nina could have been the same way, and saw how she was struggling.

A character's impact on the story isn't about whether they help the other characters learn "useful information" that makes them defeat the bad guy or leads to the next plot point, unless we're talking about the most basic saturday morning kids show imaginable. I think that's a very sad way to look at stories and characters. Looking at Nina, all you have to ask is could the story have happened without her, could it's themes have resonated as strongly without her? And obviously it couldn't have. We needed someone to grow up with Johan, to shoot Johan in the head despite having previously loved him, to react to trauma in a way that contrasts to Johan, to choose to forgive him due to their shared trauma and similarities. Tenma could not have filled that role. (And tbh, Nina is the one who actually changes in a major way. Tenma goes from saving Johan and wanting to treat his life as equal to...doing that again. It's a story about how he wasn't wrong. But Nina's story is about change. She attempted to kill Johan as a child, genuinely, but as an adult, she couldn't, because she understood him now, because she chose to forgive him.)

Nina's choices matter to the themes of the story, impact it greatly, and she makes those choices herself. She's a very active character. Saying "well Tenma could have done that" is so weird when it obviously wouldn't have been as meaningful or impacted Johan the same if it wasn't the person who knew him best, the girl that's everything he could have been but can't be, wasn't the person who once did genuinely try to kill him.

also "her motives weren't mapped out"...she wanted to kill Johan because he killed her foster parents, and she didn't want Tenma to do it because she thought it should be her sin to bear. that's her for the majority of the narrative, pretty clear. Understandable motivation. Deep down she also wants to understand her brother and herself but she's afraid of what she'll find out. Again, clear and easy to grasp

She's also very clearly traumatized, and shows it in subtle ways, both similarly and differently to Tenma--she acts on anger, she makes erratic decisions, she runs from the truth that could upend her entire identity but later forces herself to face it. Unlike Tenma, she even tries to harm herself at one point, and this is a pivotal moment in the story.

There could have been more done with Nina, travelling with Tenma might have been interesting, a chunk of her personality is "nice girl" so it's okay not to connect with that (though if you can connext with Tenma when a big chunk of HIS personality is "nice guy", it might be worth that, rather than jumping to "well obviously it's because she's a terrible character", whether any of your own biases are coming into play). But if you don't respect her importance or forget about her when she's so essential to the arcs, themes and major events of the story, I think that might be on you.

I just can't wrap my head around the narrative purpose of Nina. Her characterisation was lacking, she didn't leave any memorable impression I even forgot what she was about other than a leverage for Johan or a refuge in a way.

Her motives were not really mapped out well I feel like the author could've expanded on that more. It overall left a bad taste in my mouth.

What do you think?

About Nina;

I agree with you. I read a lot of Nina metas and i understand what she was supposed to symoblize (Nina; human, Tenma; God, Johan; Devil) but i think Tenma fits the role of human anyway and it doesnt work in Nina's case because she is not some random victim whom Johan killed her parents. She is her brother so her forgiving him at the end (especially when she already forgave other villains) doesnt work out as 'act of love'.

So the reason I think she isnt much memorable to you, thats because she is too similar to Tenma during the series.

They are good people who helps others

They investigate Johan separately but somehow at the same time.

They both project their inner monster on Johan so they think killing him will solve everything

Both use guns

Their interaction with Dieter is same

Everyone loves them

They are the only people Johan cares about and only people he lets them live Though Nina is different, her personality is more expressive and extrovert but this side of Nina is barely seen. Only at the beginning and ending. Tenma's character and ideals makes sense for his character because he is a doctor, also why he is obsessed with Johan but Nina as Johans sister, she couldve been different. More personal, more obsessive.

This is the problem with writing "good people". Her place in story is also mess and kinda replacable....yes, even though she is Johans sister. When i said replacable, i mean a lot of scenes were just there. Even if she wasnt there, nothing would change.

After not being able to meet her, Johan never go after her. He is more obsessed with Tenma, not Nina.

After escaping from her brother, she didnt need to meet Neonazis. Another character would stop the bomb and Tenma would see Johans writing anyway.

Her training from sugar man is just side character story, couldve been Tenma and same with meeting old cop. It couldve been Tenma who met the guy and nothing would change.

Even if Nina didnt come library, Tenma still wouldnt shot Johan. Her "dont shot him" scene with Nina has no build up and cringe. Johan didnt even interact with her at all in that scene and Nina also doesnt attempt to talk with her brother. She literally acts like random cop who suddenly appeared in the scene.

Other characters learnt "nameless monster" book, or 511 or the mansion etc on their own.

Nina remembering her flashbacks, or learning other book stories etc was important information only she knew but she never shared those informations with other characters. Its almost as its just written for audience to learn, to understand Johan.

Her interaction with Johan at broken house, that was meaningfull. That was only them after all but that scene didnt change anything for Johans plans. Johan was already remembering his memories and planning his suicide anyway. Only usefull information is that Nina found out Johan will kill himself but neither Nina and Tenma cared that information enough to do something different. Then at the end everyone find a way to find Franz's town.

At the end, another usefull and important flashback we get with Nina. Only Dr Gilleun heard this but its not like he did anything about it. Then Nina ran to Johan and told him she forgave him. Of course. Of course, it is important but its not impactfull (for audience) if Nina can forgave other characters. And once again, this doesnt stop Johan.

And no, Tenma wouldnt shot Johan even Nina didnt come. Even Nina didnt tell him to save Johan later, he would still save Johan. Literally any other character could say that.

And at the end, Nina lives her life again just a normal girl. Tenma is the one who is with Johan and his words 'You had a name' is what saves Johan at the end.

I am not saying she isnt important character. She is but as character, she didnt change things much, even though she shouldve as main heroine. She shouldve played more role that affects things around her, especially her interaction with Johan. But it didnt.

We could maybe say the same thing for Tenma or other characters but not really. There is already a certain role Tenma symbolize, humanity, saving lifes and most other characters are just side characters. But thats the thing. Nina isnt meant to be side character. She was supposed to be main heroine but even characters like Lunge and Eva, even they mess up or dont do much, they are still more memorable because their invidiuality shows itself. They affect the storyline in their own way.

I think we shouldve seen her inviduality more rather than her just going after on her own. I mean, on her own way, different than Tenma. Most importantly, i wish we shouldve seen her love for her brother, her family (Fortners) but her connection with them, our connection with people shows us who we are. Maybe she shouldve traveled with Tenma, then their connection would makes sense. And definitely we shouldve seen more about the her connection with Johan and her memories as Anna and after remembering, it does affect her so she shouldve done something to affect things around her as Nina, as heroine but none of these happenned.

So i understand why she can be forgotten because we dont see much of her really. And thats a shame. I wish she has done more, and more on her own way, more different than Tenma, more personal because its her brother but she acts like they are strangers so well. I think she isnt well written.

#monster #naoki urasawa's monster #so i literally finished watching monster two days ago and now im arguing...not really bc I don't tend to respond past this #I was just scrolling through nina's tag and came across this #and was like what???? and thoughts poured out #this did actually help me figure out my thoughts on monster's themes and nina herself so thank you #I think urasawa does have a problem writing women who don't have a relationship with a man at the center of it all #but to be fair every major character in monster is either obsessed with tenma or johan or both (grimmer might be the only exception?)#so it doesn't make nina and eva really stick out as bad characters. I only am starting to realize this about urasawa bc i also saw pluto #at least nina manages to make a whole female friend. unlike poor eva who never gets to.#she had to be redeemed through her love for another man #(she's a great character even so)#man what would Eva have been like interacting with other women though? realizing we literally never see that. rip female relationships.

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stevie-petey · 5 months ago

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but don't you remember? (august, honey, you were mine)

﹂ season four of "come home"

it's senior year and everything has changed. though steve harrington is now your boyfriend, not all of the change has been good. jonathan is gone, dustin is pulling away, the party is divided, and max's sunken eyes remind you of her brother's. all the change threatens to suffocate you. then one phone call, multiple dead bodies, and a song from your past changes everything you thought you once knew. time has never been your friend, especially when it reopens old wounds. (which only complicates things between you and steve). (and the upside down makes everything worse). (as usual).

episode one - the hellfire club: el writes to you as if youre her husband away at war, you debate the intricate nature of liking boobies with robin and steve, lucas is your beloved while eddie munson is your sworn enemy, steve accidentally exposes your (horribly hidden) daddy issues, dustin is an angsty teen, and jonathan really loves to drop emotional bombshells on you. can you believe this all happens in one day ? lol cheers to senior year !

episode two - vecnas curse: you and billy play marco polo, max interrupts a saturday morning breakfast at the henderson household, robin crushes steves dream of becoming a 1950s housewife, reefer rick has an odd taste in movies, boathouses are creepy in the dark, and eddie munson likes it when you pull his hair.

episode three - the monster and the superhero: you and steve can never have a normal conversation, dustin threatens nasa, eddie sadly eats his cereal because youre mean to him, youre once again nancys biggest fan, dustin and steve have an awkward heart to heart, and you and max become felons together and trauma bond (again) !

episode four - dear billy: steve almost hits lucas with a lamp, you try to trick your boyfriend into a gloomy arrangement, steve and nancy have a Talk, robin suddenly becomes an academic weapon, and max threatens legal action, gets really into hallmark cards, and levitating. all in that order.

episode five - the nina project: you and dustin steal pancakes to spite ted wheeler, steve just wants one morning of peace, nancy takes you to a haunted house, cobwebs are surprisingly intimate to remove from someone, and vecna decides to play flashlight tag with everyone. hes so sweet :)

episode six - the dive: dustin rejects the pity pringles you offer, eddie is straight up not having a good time, nancy does some investigative journalism about you and steve (gossips with robin), and steve suddenly decides he wants to take up scuba diving. for some reason. but hey ! title drop time !

episode seven - the massacre at hawkins lab: bats are really fucking annoying to fight, you always somehow end up critically injured, nancy carries the group on her back as always, eddie gives steve relationship advice (embarassing, tbh), interdimensional bike riding is lowkey fun, and you take a trip down memory lane.

episode eight - papa: steve is on the brink of a constant nervous breakdown, eddie questions your taste in music, you and max go halfsies on your lives, angry hicks are scary, and the end of the world is near so of course now is the time for every emotional conversation ever. duh !

episode nine - the piggyback: operation save hawkins is a go. youre eagle one, steve is currently doing that, eddie is youd be lying if you said you havent thought about it, nancy is it happened once in a dream, robin is if you had to pick a girl, and dustin is eagle two. what could possibly go wrong ? spoiler alert: everything. literally everything goes wrong. might as well break a few promises while youre at it. for the plot. but at least its over, right? .... right?

⌑ status: COMPLETE (for now)

⌑ season four title based on this song x

⌑ blurbs set within "come home" can be found here x

⌑ “come home” season masterlist

*note: this is a part of my stranger things rewrite, “come home”, and other seasons can be found linked above :)

#steve harrington x henderson!reader #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #stranger things #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things rewrite #slowburn #angst #bdyr masterlist #ch season four #m's writing #holy hell we're at 4 already #my god #this season is .... a lot

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ninathekillxr · 1 month ago

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Love language

Headcanons

Creepypasta love language headcanons

Ticci Toby~

His love language would be physical touch and gift giving! He likes to be constantly touching you! He also brings back trinkets to give you a bit like a crow.

Jeff the killer~

Acts of service, he will do the dishes when it’s your turn or fold/put your laundry away. He’s not good at communicating or showing his affection so he does little things to make sure you know he loves you.

Eyeless Jack~

Gift giving and words of affirmation, he’ll give you clothes or jewellery from his victims houses if he thinks you’ll like them! He’s not shy about telling you how he feels.

Masky/Tim Wright~

Acts of service and quality time! He loves to spend time with you basking in your presence. He’ll do small things like your laundry or do one of your missions for you, he likes to take some of the pressure off your shoulders!

Hoodie/Brian Thomas~

Physical touch and quality time, he loves nothing more than having you wrapped in his arms while you talk about your day!

Nina the killer~

She indulges in all love languages but she’ll always tell you how much she loves you! She loves to be in constant contact with you, holding onto your arm or holding hands is a must! You guys would be inseparable!

Jane the killer~

She loves physical touch but not more than she loves spending quality time with you, she loves when you guys go out together on walks.

Clockwork~

She’s not a very touchy person so she feels like she has to tell you that she loves you, she likes having the reassurance that you know she loves you so she makes sure to tell you all the time! She also likes to spend a lot of quality time with you often tagging along on your missions.

Kate the chaser~

Quality time. She isn’t much of a talker or a toucher but she loves spending those quiet moments with you. She also indulges in doing small tasks for you to make your day easier.

Bloody Painter~

He loves to give you gifts, especially if he made them himself! He’ll give you paintings, sketches anything he makes that he thinks you’d like!

Laughing Jack~

He loves physical touch, he holds your hand or carries you around often! He always gives you sweets whenever your together since he normally has some on him!

Nina’s comments!~

Raaah idk what to post bc this is my last draft-

Pls send requests my pretties<3

Nina out!

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bluberryfields · 1 year ago

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This is what happens when you're raised by TV and trained in literary analysis

Beyond the crushing heartbreak of that finale, one thing in particular has stuck with me when I look at it in the context of S2 as a whole.

He lays out their relationship, "We're a team, a group. A group of the two of us. And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't."

He then turns his head away and says, "I mean, the last few years, not really."

He pauses here, facing the interior of the bookshop. Really looks it up and down.

Turns back, "And I would like to spend" before choking on his words and looks toward the window. He can't finish saying something like "And I would like to spend eternity with you" because that's too much, too fast, for both of them.

But it's that "last few years" bit that has firmly lodged itself in my very broken brain.

According to Gaiman, it's been "a few years" since the end of Season 1. Armageddon has been averted. Heaven and Hell have reluctantly retreated. Crowley and Aziraphale have been effectively cut loose from their "sides," leaving them to form their own side.

So at the start of Season 2, we get a glimpse of the “fragile existence” they have carved out for themselves. To me, the biggest difference that we see is how they exist together in front of others. Going to the coffee shop, the pub, and the other shops along the street that Aziraphale has lived on for over 200 years. And don’t forget how they act in front of Nina, Maggie, and sweet, dim Muriel.

At the coffee shop, Aziraphale stammers a bit when Nina asks who Crowley is, but he still seems to have affection in his voice when he says, "We go back a long time."

Compared to Shakespearian "He's not my friend! We've never met before. We don't know each other!" panic, this is an incredible difference.

Of course, each time, Crowley is cool and cheeky and does nothing to indicate that they aren't a pair. Though, of course, he does deny it when Nina asks about Aziraphale being his side piece. “He’s not my bit on the side! He’s far too pure of heart to be anyone’s bit on the side.” And refers to him as an “Angel [swallows]I know.”

When they go the pub, Crowley's joy at doing something together in public that they do not normally do is super cute, including his cheeky order for Aziraphale's sherry. Then, when bringing the drinks over to the socially trapped Aziraphale, he greets Mr. Brown with a truly adorable, "Hello" and a signature DT smile. Then upon hearing how “excited” Mr. Fell is to host the meeting, he looks down and says, “Oh? You astonish me.” while Aziraphale sips his sherry and squirms.

We also watch as Crowley follows Aziraphale as he goes to each shop and talks to the owners about the meeting/secret ball. In theory, Crowley has no reason to tag along, and he certainly doesn’t help sway anyone who doesn’t want to/can’t go. He goofs around at the magic shop. He splays out on the bench, chin on hand, looking for all the world a husband waiting for his wife to pick out a dress at the department store. They are so married it’s ridiculous.

Finally, their behavior in front of Muriel while inside their sanctuary. Crowley sits on the arm of Aziraphale’s chair, somehow looking supremely comfortable on the old-fashioned furniture. He folds up those gloriously long limbs and presses himself as close as possible.

He smiles and plays along with Aziraphale’s coaching of Muriel in her disguise. Calls him Angel and asks to speak in private. And at the end, during the awful wait while Aziraphale talks with The Metatron, Crowley cleans up the shop and tells Muriel that he and Aziraphale will need some “us” time after all this. No beating around the bush.

Without oversight, they can be openly together and happy. But Heaven just can’t let that happen.

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paperbackpanic · 17 days ago

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GOOD DEEDS THE PASTAS DO

A/n: inspired by @milkycarnations post :) most are a "living together" type of good deeds bc I assume they're kinda of hermits because of the nature of their "job"

🪷 Eyeless Jack homeschool the child pastas, the pastas that are in highschool and the ones who didn't conclude the basic education level on the "right time" (idk how to explain it better). He might be a bit rusty with English and history but other than that he's the perfect teacher. His patience is not usually that high but when he's teaching he turns into a saint.

🪷 Jane will clean people's clothes without them asking, she'll even patch them if there's holes. She also makes people new clothes when she gets her hands on fabric, usually they're practical and simple (something like gym clothes, easy to run with) but super well made

🪷 Hoodie will take pictures of whoever asks him, and he'll go above and beyond for them. Think throwing himself on the ground to get a good shot, huge lights, all that. Heck he'll even make a physical photo album with edited photos if it's a person that he's able to communicate more often than just a stranger asking him for a favor.

🪷 Toby will return shopping carts that he encounter scattered around parking lots, and if they see a person not returning them he'll put the cart behind their car so they'll have to keep getting out of the car to push it way. He'll do it until the person loses their patience and return it. He'll also make sure that the person doesn't see that it's him putting the cart behind the car so the person has no idea why it's happening

🪷 Laughing Jack will put people's favorite candy and snacks in their rooms if he notices that they're feeling under the weather, sick or anything like that. He'll deny it but he does it pretty often. Also makes an effort to know the top 5 snacks because he knows that someone's favorite can be hard to come by.

🪷 Masky will fix people cars if he notices that's something wrong with it. Scratches? No problem he knows how to fix, sometimes even if there's no paint. Bumps? Fixed. Need to change the oil? No you don't, he already took care of it last week. He also checked the antifreeze, the water and the gas. If he's with the energy he'll clean it too.

🪷 Cody will make sure that there's no cross contamination in the food you consume if you have any allergies, both inside and when you go out to eat. Someone is cooking shrimp and you're allergic to shellfish? He's making that person disinfect every corner of the kitchen. Going out to eat? He'll make sure the cooks make your food correctly, if you have Celiac disease or something like that that's "harder to see" he'll order the same food as you to make sure they were prepared differently (like he'll order the same burger as you to look if it's made with different bread). Also he always has at least 2 EpiPen in his pockets.

🪷 BEN will always play with you when you ask him. Even let you win if he knows you're feeling bad that day. Videogames? Deal. Board games/card games? He's making at least 2 other people play with you too to make it more interesting. Children games like house? Hell yeah. Just not ask him to run around that much, like when playing tag or something, he will do it but he also will complain a lot about it.

🪷 Jeff will always speak for you in public places if you can't do it yourself. He'll also complain for you. Need to order something in a restaurant? He got it. Your burger came with pickles when you ask for no pickles? Bet he's already on the counter asking to switch the order. Your AACC device is out of battery? Write down what you want to say and he'll do it no hesitation.

🪷 Nina will always do your makeup, hair and nails. Her room is basically a saloon for when y'all go out and is super fun! Loud music blasting, chatter, dancing all that! She'll even make an effort to learn other alt makeup (she already knows emo/scene) if you're in some alternative subculture. Gyaru? She's getting those huge press on nails and fake tan. Goth? She already has white foundation and black lipstick. She'll spend a good amount of time learning techniques that she knows you like to use just to guarantee that you're feeling 100% hot.

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta x reader #slenderverse #nina the killer headcanons #laughing jack headcanons #jeff the killer headcanons #x virus headcanons #masky headcanons #hoodie headcanons #eyeless jack headcanon #jane the killer headcanons #ticci toby headcanons #ben drowned headcanons #good deeds

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cherriegyuu · 5 months ago

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asellus australis | jww | part 1

pairing: wonwoo x f!reader genre: fluff, romance, idiots to lovers word count: 6k summary: Wonwoo couldn’t possibly be the only person living in Sydney who didn’t know how to swim, so he reluctantly says yes to the lessons his friends signed him up for. When he learns that you are his instructor, he figures learning how to swim as an adult isn’t all that embarrassing after all warnings: fear of water, mentions of drowning a/n: this is part of the @svthub 2024 world tour collab. please head there to check out other fics under this collab. if you enjoyed reading, please reblog and leave a comment, it really does mean the world to me and i would love to know your thoughts. thank you! 💕

It was the kids' laughter that brought your mind out of its newest daydream. It was hard to keep yourself focused on what was happening right in front of you rather than on what had already happened. It was a new feeling and so completely out of character for you.

A couple of weeks had gone by since you attended a certain party, one you didn’t want to go to. You were too tired from the week and there was a little hint of emotional exhaustion to put yourself through a situation where everything would eventually turn out to be too much.

It had been so easy to find a quiet place further in at the back, away from all the people and their noisiness. There was only so much music and chatter you could block out just by standing away though.

You sipped your drink, something sweet and fruity Kira had gotten you before drifting off to wherever she wanted to go. It was somewhat frustrating to have gone there because of her and having her pull away from you the second you got there. But at the same time, you understood why she did it. Whoever her new crush was, he was at the party, which meant that she saw an opportunity. Kira was never one to be at a party by herself, and unfortunately, Nina had a better excuse to not be there than “I’m tired”, so you had to be the one to tag along. Though it wasn’t entirely too bad, it was a little boring.

And then he showed up.

You had never seen him before, which considering that you didn’t know a single person at the party wasn’t surprising at all. You knew Kira and maybe a couple of others in passing. You made a mental note to ask her how she found out at that party.

There was no way for you to look away from him. It was like there was this spotlight on him, just on him, making everyone else around pale.

Somehow he had ended up by your side, claiming to also be running away from his friends and the noise.

“This isn’t really my scene,” he said “I don’t even know how they managed to drag me out here, to be honest”

You blushed a little when he looked at you, a smile wide on his face. It was enough to make your heart skip a beat.

“I’m Wonwoo”, his hand stretched out while his left one adjusted the glasses in his nose.

“Hi”

You let your hand be wrapped by his. You had never felt quite that shy before while meeting someone. Usually, you were the talkative one.

“I wasn’t supposed to come out tonight” you admitted “but I’m kind of glad I did”

Was that possibly crossing a line? You weren’t sure, it probably was but early that morning you read that you should be more open to relationships in whichever format they came from, the reason why you didn’t even try to stop Kira from dragging to the party.

A long time had gone by since you felt anything similar while talking to someone — especially since using the word talking seemed to be a little much considering you had barely exchanged a few words. Wonwoo had your undivided attention from the moment he walked in.

Wonwoo simply smiled at you again and looked up at the sky. The sun had long set and in its place the most beautiful full moon lit up the sky, accompanied by the countless shining stars.

“There’s so many stars tonight,” you said and almost kicked yourself for it.

It was probably the worst way you could have started a conversation with a guy. You half expected him to answer you at all, a nod or a hm, at best.

“Did you know,” his words were almost shy, his delicious low voice dropping even lower, almost as if he was telling you a secret “that the stars have colors?”

His voice was so quiet while he spoke, his eyes still focused on the sky above. Wonwoo clasped his hands together, his knuckles turning white while he put way too much strength into something that needed none.

“Really?” you looked up for a second before turning your full attention back to his profile “I thought it was just some sort of optical illusion”

He turned to you then, his full attention on you as you waited for him to speak again. It was an odd feeling, for him to have someone interested in whatever he was saying.

“Yeah, there’s a few. Blue, white, yellow, orange, and red” he made a fist between the two of you, raising a finger every time he said a different color “The color depends on the temperature and life cycle”

Maybe you didn’t mean to, or perhaps you did, but you leaned your body a little to the left, your knee touching his.

“I had no idea”

He looked at you, slightly surprised that you were suddenly so close to him but smiled at you all the same.

“You can’t see the colors when you look at the sky?” his eyebrows were slightly raised, lips in a mix of a pout and a smile.

You pulled your bottom lip in between your teeth in hopes that it could make you stop from inching forward and pressing them against his. If you were in his place you’d probably run away screaming “crazy” at the top of your lungs”

“I mean, I can, I just didn't think the star had actual colors. I guess I just always assumed it was all silver”

Wonwoo laughed, his nose wrinkling in the most adorable way possible.

You were talking with him for a couple of hours, the most casual kind of conversation and it was probably the most fun you had in a long time at one of those parties. Not that you didn’t have fun. Nina and Kira were always fun to be around and it was something you always said yes to, being around them. But with Wonwoo it was just a different kind of fun. Usually, when guys approach you at parties the conversations always remain the same, and it was always made to make them look larger than life.

Wonwoo however seemed to be much more interested in talking about the sky and the moon and the stars — “did you know that the moon moves away further from the earth every year? — and while you were aware that some of it was just to prove himself as smart, you found it cute and at times, even endearing.

He seemed somewhat passionate about what he was talking about to the point where you could just stand there and look at him without ever getting bored. His voice, low when he had first sat by your side, had gone up a few notes, maybe partially because of the music around you, but you had a feeling that it was because he was just getting excited about what he was talking about.

“I never saw you before at one of these,” you said

Wonwoo took a long sip of his drink, you weren’t sure of what it was but it wasn’t the cheap beer that was in your cup.

“I don’t come to these often, my friends” he pointed at where the rest of the people were and you had no real way of finding out who his friends were “finally managed to drag me out. I would have stayed at the office if they didn’t”

It was a redo of the conversation you had before but you didn’t mind in the least, not when you could feel his warm breath at the top of your cheeks as he leaned down to talk to you. Slightly, you turn your head to him and for a moment you thought about just typing your head up slightly, just enough to reach his lips.

“What do you do for a living?”

Wonwoo cleared his throat, his eyes moving from your eyes to your lips. He did that maybe a couple of times before he finally, finally, leaned in. And it was like little bells of you started to play inside your head. It was perfect for all of two seconds, his lips pressed over yours, soft and warm, his hand at the back of your neck pulling your face closer to his before someone screamed your name at the top of their lungs.

He pulled away from you immediately and you honestly wanted to cry. The kiss had only lasted a brief second but you didn’t want it to end.

Kira was suddenly by your side, a look of complete desperation in her eyes.

“We have to go… Nina…”

Before she even finished her sentence you were already up. You looked at Wonwoo quickly, hoping that he could see how sorry you were when you ran out.

Looking back you wished you could have remembered to ask for his number before you left, or for him to ask for yours. But all of it had happened way too quickly that it had never crossed.

Ever since that night had been stuck in your mind, you couldn’t stop thinking about Wonwoo or the kiss. It was like your mind was in this infinite looping playing that one moment.

“The new guy is here,” Jinah said, Laughing a little.

You looked where she was pointing and couldn't help the low laugh that escaped your lips. Three guys were walking towards you. Maybe walking was a bit too strong a word, one of them was being pushed by the other two.

“We're already here,” the shorter one said, exasperated “You just have to go there and learn”

“You know, this is a terrible idea” the one who was being pushed said.

It was as if you had been transported back to that day at the party. It was precisely the voice you wanted to hear but had no real way of hearing.

“Wonwoo?”

Your voice was one that Wonwoo didn't expect to hear any time soon, or maybe ever again. After that day when he left the party in a hurry, without giving the slightest explanation, Wonwoo was sure he would never see you again. Sydney was far from a small town and he wasn't the biggest party-goer who had ever set foot on this earth, he knew that the chances of running into you again were slim to none.

But somehow, you were right there in front of him.

He had thought many times about what he would say if he saw you again if he was that lucky. Everything that had gone through his head had seemed wrong and now that you were in a place where he could see you, nothing came to mind. It was as if he had momentarily forgotten all the words he had learned throughout his life. That all the years he had spent trapped in an educational institution hadn't taught him anything.

Ever since that night, Wonwoo couldn't stop thinking about you. It didn’t matter what he did, however, he tried to think of other things or other people and focus on work. You were always there, in the back of his mind. He had never done anything quite like that before.

That wasn’t to say that he had never had a girlfriend. He had, a few of them throughout his life but it never happened quite that fast and it was never quite life-altering. Sure, he had met a girl once at one of the many events he attended as part of his job and she had stayed in his mind for a couple of hours, but never days like it happened with you.

And when he started to babble about the moon and the stars, because he had gotten nervous, you didn’t seem to mind. Instead, you gave him your full attention, seemingly inserted in what he was saying. But then suddenly you were gone and he didn’t even have the chance to ask for your number or anything that he could use to find you again.

Wonwoo had been certain that you would, somehow, be the one who got away and yet there you were, in shorts and a black swimsuit with the logo he saw outside.

He hated the word destiny, but maybe there was some of it sprinkled in seeing you again.

“Hi!”

Wonwoo’s voice came out a little louder than usual, making his friends turn to him with furrowed eyebrows. Soonyoung looked utterly confused while Jihoon just did his best to suppress the laugh that was bubbling inside his chest.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” you said, smiling brightly at him.

Wonwoo was completely caught off guard when you took a step forward and wrapped your arms around his shoulder. It only lasted a second and it wasn’t enough for him to react and hug you back.

Your cheeks had a light pink on them as you stepped back. He smiled once he noticed that your hand was balled into fists.

“Sorry, my mom is a hugger so I just sort of hug people sometimes” you were quick to explain, waving your hands in front of yourself.

You closed your eyes tightly, your cheeks getting even redder. Wonwoo thought that you looked cute that night at the party, but this version in front of him was much cuter. He pressed his lips together, trying not to smile too big.

“Do I get a hug too?”

Soonyoung took a step forward, arms wide open, smile so big that Wonwoo wasn’t even sure his friend could see anything at all. Thankfully Jihoon was quick enough to pull him back and angry enough to hit him in the back of the head.

“No…”

You took another step back and raised your index finger at him. Your reaction alone was enough to pull an honest laugh out of Wonwoo. You seemed horrified by the idea which made him think that your earlier allegation of being a hugger was probably a lie.

“How dense are you?” Jihoon whispered and shouted at Soonyoung.

You lightly shook your head, maybe trying to shake off any sort of dizziness, before smiling again.

“Which one of you is the one taking lessons?”

In the queue, Wonwoo felt two sets of hands at his back, pushing him forward. Both of his friends were holding back giggles.

He had hated the idea of taking swimming lessons as an adult. His friends were irreducible in his learning though so he eventually just caved and did as they wanted. However, all of the cells in his body that were against it dissolved the second he saw you. Now, learning didn’t seem all that bad or all that weird.

“Great! I need you to follow me to the back if that’s okay?” you pointed over your shoulder with your thumb “You need to fill out a form before we can get started”

Wonwoo nodded and followed you. He was naive enough to look back at his friends once and he was glad that you didn’t do the same. Jihoon was giving him a thumbs up, a weird-looking smile on his face, while Soonyoung would be screaming if he could, if not for the hand covering his mouth.

He loved his friends, he really did, they were one of the reasons why Wonwoo even had any kind of social life, and they were there for him whenever he needed them, even if he just wanted to complain about something — Soonyoung was especially good at hating someone he had never met before just because Wonwoo complained once about said, person.

In silence, he followed you to the back, eyes focused on your back. He had to force his eyes to stay on the back of your neck and not on the way your hips swayed deliciously from side to side while you walked.

You sat down on one of the tables and smiled sweetly at the receptionist who handed you a sheet and a pen. You slid the paper across to Wonwoo, followed by the pen.

“While you fill that out, I’m going to ask you a couple of questions”

Wonwoo was never that great at multitasking, so he was sure that he would either write his information down or he would talk with you. If he did do two things at once, most likely both of them would be half-assed.

“Why are you taking swimming lessons?”

He paused writing and looked at you. It made sense that that was your first question, he would just like it if it wasn’t on the list.

“I don’t know how to swim, so my friends thought that it was good a idea to sign me up for lessons”

You smiled and nodded at him, not a hint of judgment in your eyes. It was new. When he told people that he didn’t know how to swim people usually looked at him like he had four sets of arms, it was almost like the look one got when one heard that they could ride a bike.

“Can you float on your back?”

He simply shook his head and kept writing his information down. It didn’t go unnoticed to Wonwoo how you pursed your lips together and tilted your head to the side.

“Do you feel comfortable in the water at all?” you asked, slightly confused.

Wonwoo set down the paper and pen, now fully looking at you. He wanted to avoid the conversation, yes, but he knew if there was one place he had to be honest, it was there, with you.

“I’m not the biggest fan of water,” he said, voice low matching how his eyes were kept on the table the entire time.

When Wonwoo was a kid, while on a trip to the beach with his parents, he was playing in the water when a wave forcefully took him away. He had tried to scream for help but instead of pushing his voice out, all he did was pull water into his lungs. According to his parents, the moment didn’t last for more than a few seconds but it was enough for him to never want to do anything with the water again.

It wasn’t a problem to be at a pool, like the one he was in, as long as his feet could touch the floor and he had enough space between where the water ended and his head. But he had never been to the beach again. Not that his friends hadn’t tried to convince him to go to the beach, just to feel the sand between his toes, they never even mentioned the idea of getting in the water. But Wonwoo refused every single time.

Why would he go to a place that only brought him bad memories when he could simply pretend that synch place didn’t even exist in the first place? Of course, living in Sydney posed as a minor problem to that plan, but it had never stopped him before.

And yet, somehow, he found himself in front of you, asking for swimming lessons. The fact that it was you made him somehow calmer if such a thing was even possible.

“Can you get into the water or is that something we need to work on?” Wonwoo looked up at you, eyebrows furrowed “Some people come here and they have a rough time getting into the water, so it’s something we have to work slowly on. Is that the case with you?”

“Oh, no” he shook his head “I can get into the water just fine”

You smiled at him while you looked at his information. Wonwoo felt his insides twist a little when your smile slowly dropped.

“Is everything okay?”

Your eyes left the paper for a second and you smiled again.

“Everything is fine” you put the paper on the table again, now fully ignoring it “Should we get started?”

“He is a cancer!” you wailed, dropping your head on the back of the couch.

Of course, it made absolute sense that the most dreamy and perfect guy you had ever met, was a cancer. Of course!

“What is she on about?” Kira asked, making a weird face.

Nina simply sighed and nudged you, placing the wine glass into your hands

“It’s the guy from the party,” you said, sipping the wine “He came in today to take lessons and I saw his birthday. He’s a cancer”

Both of them nodded as if understanding what you were saying, but you knew that they couldn’t care less about it. Between the three of you, you were the only one who cared about star signs. You were always one to simply look into it once and let it go. It usually gives you a way to understand someone better. And while it could just be some harmless fun, you know yourself well enough to know that something you let get a little too much into your head.

And you see, Wonwoo is a cancer, which in itself it’s not a real issue. Cancer men are known to be caring, loyal, and protective, all of which are great treats when you are in a relationship with someone, their groundedness is highly incompatible with Sagittarius women. They usually enjoy their time at home and are more on the introverted side.

“Are you going to treat that as a problem?”

Nina had her eyebrow raised so high you were sure that if she pushed up a little more she’d be able to touch her hairline.

“We are incompatible!” you cried, drinking the rest of the wine.

Both of your friends looked at you, knowing that the conversation would probably lead you to drink a little more than you needed, which in return would cause them problems. Truth be told you weren’t the best drinker out of the three of you. You were the worst of your group, to the point you avoided drinking out, but in the comfort of your home — or this case, Kira’s home — all bets were in and you could be as much of a bad drinking as you wanted to be.

“You can’t let sun signs, moon signs, whatever it’s called, rule your relationship, babe,” Kira said, her voice sounding a lot like the one she usually used on the kids she teaches.

Kira was a kindergarten teacher, a real hero if you knew what one of those looked like

“Remember how you were over the moon after the party? You couldn’t stop talking about him and we all know that if you can’t stop talking, it also means that he was constantly in your mind as well”

Her tone was almost mocking you. The thing is your friends knew you, sometimes, better than you knew yourself.

“Do you remember Ben? He was a cancer” you said trying to prove a point, but knowing fully well that it meant nothing at all. Wonwoo and Ben couldn’t possibly be more different, even just at first glance.

“Ben stole money from your wallet, used your card to his heart’s content, and then fled, making you pay for everything he ever bought. I’m sure Wonwoo is nothing like that”

You narrowed your eyes at her. She was defending Wonwoo a little too much. You knew Kira’s thoughts on your zodiac obsession and she was always quick to shut it down, but this time around, the way she was defending a man she had maybe seen for 5 seconds was a little suspicious.

“I agree with Kira,” Nina said, eyes still on her phone “Ben was a dick but Wonwoo might not be one. You said he was sweet at the party. Sorry I sort of ruined it for you that night”

Your friend smiled at you, her eyes a little sad. Nina had been the reason why Kira pulled you out of the party that night. She had been traveling for work and was in a car accident on the road on her way back to Sydney. She was fine, with no life-threatening wounds, but she was very nervous, understandably so. She was still insecure about being on the road again, but you were sure that she just needed a little more time.

“It’s fine” You wrapped her shoulders with your arms, pulling her closer to you “No boy in the world is more important than you”

Your mind went back to the party and the way you felt that night, how you’d have stayed there the entire night with him unless you were pulled away — which eventually happened. Wonwoo talked about the moon and stars and you were that if he ever told you that he was the one responsible for hanging them up in the sky you would have probably believed him.

“You’re so corny sometimes” She pushed you with her shoulder but made no real attempt to move away from you.

“You love me, so…”

“I guess the swimming lessons are much more interesting now, right?” Soonyoung teased Wonwoo.

Wonwoo simply rolled his eyes and kept his focus on the computer in front of him, making Jihoon snort by his side, which in return only made Soonyoung wine as he sat on the couch in the back of the room. Under normal circumstances, Wonwoo would probably already be home at such an hour but there were things that he needed to do if he wanted to have a truly off weekend. One when he could just focus on the lessons he was bound to have on Saturday.

He was never one to anxiously wait for things, especially when those things had a lot to do with the water and yet there he found himself, wishing that Saturday morning came just a little faster than it usually did.

For him, Saturdays mostly meant trying to come up with reasons as to why he wouldn’t be able to go somewhere with his friends. That was mostly Soonyoung, to be fair. His friend enjoyed being out and about, going to new places, and having new experiences. From time to time Wonwoo did too, but he liked his time alone time a little too much when it was just him and his stars.

“It pains me to say this” Jihoon said with a sigh, almost as if he didn’t believe those words were coming out of his mouth “I agree with him. It looks a lot of fun now”

Jihoon and Soonyoung were a weird duo, that was for sure. They spent half of the time bickering like old men who have nothing else to do and the other half they were either in agreement or just pretending that the other didntdidn'tt. Somehow, it worked.

“I mean” Jihoon continued “She’s the girl from the party”

Wonwoo turned around in his chair, giving Jihoon a look with eyes wide. There was a reason why he didn’t mention you to Soonyoung, and it was quite simple: he would never hear the end of it and Soonyoung would, at the very least, contact every single person he knew at the party and ask if they knew you. His friend would stop until he found you and though seeing you again was something that he wanted, Wonwoo didn’t want to come across as someone who was desperate and maybe a little bit of a stalker.

“What girl?”

He let his body slide down on the chair and closed his eyes. Wonwoo would never hear the end of it now with Soonyoung.

“The party we managed to drag him to a couple of weeks ago? He met a girl there and she had to leave before he managed to ask for her number”

Another thing about the Soonyoung and Jihoon duo is that they like to gossip like teenagers. It’s the very stereotypical image of highschoolers whispering to each other in the hallways, except for the fact that they gossip about Wonwoo right in front of his face and there is nothing that he can do to just make them stop, and they haven’t been to a high school hallway in years.

“Why didn’t I know about this?”

“Probably because you were too busy with whatever it is that makes you disappear at parties?”

The two of them exchanged a look and Wonwoo knew that they were talking without ever saying a single word.

“So” Soonyoung turned to him again “you went to a party and talked to this girl”

“Kissed her, actually,” Jihoon said

Soonyoung’s body almost vibrated at the news and he was clapping his hands, making sounds that no human should ever be able to make.

What is the closest emergency exit from here? Wonwoo couldn’t help but wonder.

“This is the greatest day of my life” he laughed hysterically “You went to a party, something that on its own is already very out of character to you, you kissed a girl and now she’s your hot swimming instructor?”

He turned to Jihoon for approval, who simply nodded.

“You should ask her out, she looked interested earlier at the pool”

The image of you looking over his information and your smile slowly dropping came across Wonwoo’s mind and he couldn’t help but think that Soonyoung was wrong. Whatever it was that you say written there, which Wonwoo couldn’t possibly even phantom what it was considering that it was his most basic information, was enough to make you rethink something.

“And she listed to you nerding out and still wanted to kiss you”

His mind drifted back to the night of the party. Wonwoo was certain that if you had stayed for a little longer he would have probably gotten your number and asked you out on the very next day and with some luck you would have said yes and who knew where it would go from there.

“Oh, this just keeps getting better” Soonyoung clapped his hands.

“Again, this is very painful to say but I agree with Soonyoung, you should ask her out”

Wonwoo rolled his eyes. Jihoon talked a big game about not agreeing with Soonyoung but he always did. They were always in the same frequency of decisions and Wonwoo was usually the one who had a different opinion.

“And maybe, who knows, she might have thought about you as much as you thought about her these past few weeks?”

Soonyoung grabbed Jihoon’s arm, his eyes wide with uncontrolled excitement.

There was something different about the way Jihoon said it as if he was in some sort of secret that Wonwoo had no idea about. Of course that was the entire purpose of a secret but it felt different.

“If I promise to think about it, will you” Wonwoo pointed at Soonyoung “stop this weird, whatever it is?”

Surprisingly enough, the pool was mostly empty during the weekends, hence why they usually closed at noon on Saturdays. Parents usually sent their kids during the afternoons and most adults preferred either early mornings or after hours so the weekends were usually pretty low and you’d rather be anywhere else than at work but Saturdays started to look so much better once Wonwoo’s name was written on the board, right under yours.

After the initial minor breakdown

You sat down on the edge of the pool, your feet on the water while you waited for him. With each passing second you grew more anxious, your heart beating rapidly inside your chest in anticipation of what would happen.

A part of you expected it to be just a regular class, with normal small talk. The other part, this one much more hopeful and highly unrealistic, hoped that you could pick up where you left off the night of the party. But the truth was that you had no idea what was about to happen. You were certain that there was a secret third option that you couldn’t see or even think of.

You turned around when there was the distant sound of a door closing and a few seconds later Wonwoo walked in, in black swim shorts and a black t-shirt, a towel on his shoulder. He smiled at you while pushing his glasses back.

For a moment it was like you were back at the party that night and he was all that you could see again. There wasn’t anything or anyone else there but even then the space seemed to disappear.

“Hi,” he offered once he stopped next to you.

“Hey”

You got up and walked to the other side, removing your shorts and folding them over the side of a chair. Wonwoo followed suit, dropping his towel on the chair and then taking off his glasses and shirt. It took everything in you to keep quiet and not just fully ogle him. You almost had to hit your face to make yourself remember how to breathe properly again.

"You ready?" you said without turning to him.

The only answer Wonwoo had to give was a small ruff, in exchange for making you chuckle. Though it was funny, it was not the ideal.

“Listen,” you turned to him, hands on your hips “If you’re uncomfortable we can reschedule or maybe not even do this at all”

Wonwoo looked at you, his eyes going a little soft as he sat down on the edge of the pool, mimicking your early stance. His eyes were focused on the water in front of him, unblinking.

“I’m tall enough that my head will stay above water, right?”

“Yes, you’re good until halfway”

He nodded his head, eyes until in the water. If the situation was any different you’d have cracked a joke or anything else that could somehow lighten up the mood but there was no room for that.

“Let’s just get this over with”

Most of the hour you spent with Wonwoo in the pool was silent. It was mostly you talking and him listening, trying — and failing — to follow your instructions. You tried to crack the occasional small talk, but he was having none of it. You couldn’t help but wonder if his lack of enthusiasm, or interest, was because he was still uncomfortable or if it was because of how you had acted when he first came by to sign up for lessons.

It took you a few hours, and three glasses of wine, to realize that you had made a face when you saw his birthday written. And it wasn’t a nice face, you were sure you scowled at the paper. Maybe it was that moment you ruined it all between you and Wonwoo. Or maybe, he was just really unhappy.

“Are you okay?” you asked him once again, hand on his shoulder.

You were honestly so worried about him that it was hard to ogle him.

“Yeah, I’m just not a big fan of water, that’s all”

This time you put both of your hands on his shoulder, turning his body fully to you. God, he is too handsome. Forget the whole “too worried to ogle” thing. His chest, his very naked chest, was right in front of your eyes. You were only human, a human that had dreamed of the man in front of her a few too many times and none of them had been pg-13. It was fine to appreciate someone’s beauty.

“Listen to me, you don’t need to do this, okay?”

“This is Sidney,” he said as if that was enough explanation.

The only possible reaction was to roll your eyes at him.

“Who gives a fuck where we are in the globe? Do you go to the beach? The pool? Boats? Loves to be on airplanes who happen to fly across oceans?” when his answer to all of your questions was no you shook his shoulders a little bit “Then you have no reason to learn how to swim. Right now you’re just torturing yourself”

Wonwoo sighed and nodded, but he still looked sort of weird, if you were one to tell considering how little you knew him. You raised your eyebrows at him, hoping that it was enough to get him to talk.

“It’s just…” he seemed to struggle to get the words out “I want to see you again”

This time you didn’t even try to suppress your smile or the butterflies in your stomach.

“You could ask for my number and ask me on a date, you know?”

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neysaadept · 21 days ago

Text

Prometheus Chapter 12

Emily Prentiss x Female CIA Reader

Chapter 12 - Let's Chat

Tags: Swearing, canon typical violence, therapy, mentions of sexual assault, murder, torture, strangulation. No beta reader, mistakes are all me. Minors DNI.

Word Count: 6.6k

AO3

“I think this is the first time you had a good excuse for missing a session that wasn’t entirely work related.”

You laugh as your therapist scribbles information on the notepad resting on her thighs. She was sitting on the white chair across from your position on the couch in your apartment. Brian really called out all the stops in making this happen.

You have been seeing Nina Davis for the last four years as part of mandatory therapy because of your unique situation in joining the CIA. Whenever you were stateside, you had to see her and thanks to Rebecca Wilson, you get to see her for six months instead of a couple sessions snuck in before you were deployed once more. The CIA always wanted to get you back working in the field as soon as you were debriefed and cleared.

Nina was a thin woman with well-manicured nails, you couldn’t remember a time they weren’t perfectly filed and polished. Often, they were clear coated but depending on the season or holiday, she dazzled with some color. Like now her nails are colored burgundy that compliment her rust color sweater. Since it was Sunday, she has on jeans and tennis shoes which was about as casual as Nina got. In her office, it was always business casual. You noticed it was only in the last year and a half Nina’s straight blonde hair was paling as she pushed fifty. It was still a lovely shade that made her just as beautiful as it frames her face and slides across her shoulders as she moves.

It makes your thoughts shift to how Emily’s hair does the same but since hers was longer, it cascaded so smoothly like water. You wonder how it would feel to run your hands through it …

Then you hear your name being spoken with increasing urgency to get your attention. You look at Nina apologetically. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“Where did you go just now?” she asks in that annoyingly knowing therapeutic curiosity.

“Thinking about work.” She doesn’t buy it and raises a brow to have you elaborate further. “Fine. A co-worker.”

“Are you getting along well with them? You mentioned that Prentiss was causing you problems that first week.”

You shrug, not realizing that what you thought was a simple relieved smile was broad and bright. “Yeah, things are much better. We talked it out and came to a mutual understanding.”

Nina squints wisely. “You have a new friend.”

Damn she’s still good at this shit, you think.

“I wouldn’t call us friends. Not sure people like us define our …” you struggle to find the right words for you and Emily as your curling fingers circle one another in front of you as if trying to grab onto the right words. You’re coworkers for sure. And she has gone out of her way to make you be social with the BAU. You have a lot in common but enough differences to keep each other on a playful edge. The woman knew how to make you feel safe around her and not be on guard.

“ … uh, I guess we’re a budding friendship?” You wince. “That sounds lame.”

“It’s not lame at all.” You smile. “It’s difficult for you to connect with new people so this is really nice to hear.”

“Yeah. The BAU has been really cool. I even got a desk and everything,” you admit fondly.

“Good. You’re integrating well.” She scribbles more notes down. “Any issues come up with your past?”

You think back to a few gaffs with Prentiss, but it works out now that she has clearance. “I did let it slip that Rebecca bailed me out of the AWOL situation without specifics. Brian doesn’t know …” you say warily.

Nina chuckles. “Not the first time you’ve told me this, and he doesn’t have to know now. He gave the section chief some leeway in your background. So, this shouldn’t be a problem.” She looks up at you. “Does she know anything else?”

“That I’m a spy. She was one, too.”

“Common ground is nice. Anything else?” She senses you’re hiding something and pushes gently.

You look away with your tongue firmly pressing against the back of your teeth. Your knee starts bouncing frantically. Nina knows the signs of when you are delving deep into your childhood trauma.

“I …” You clear your throat and rest your head against the back of the couch cushions. “The case I worked with Prentiss and Rossi. The unsub was a victim of sexual assault.” Nina is quiet, letting the silence be a sign to continue to share further if you’re comfortable. “The guy she wanted to kill was an unconfirmed rapist in the eyes of the law. But she knew he was guilty and got off on technicalities with a lot of money getting good lawyers. So, despite the fact that I wanted her to slice his throat open and watch the fucker die …” You stop there as your eyes get wet with tears and work your lips as you reach down to find the courage you need continue. “… I shared … I shared that I knew how she felt … as a survivor. Talked her down.”

“That had to be difficult.”

“Yeah, it really fucking was and I feel so guilty about it.”

She says your name softly. “Why is that?”

“Because …” you suddenly lean forward over your legs, your arms bracing you upright while balling your hands into fists. “… I wasn’t honest with her. I couldn’t fucking tell her that I killed my abuser when she never could. It’s fucking bullshit what happened to her. Me. Anyone this happens to. I fucking hate that I had to fucking lie to her so much, but I knew if I said it, she’d snap and try to kill her mark and then she’d be shot to death.”

“You didn’t want her to get hurt. Or die.”

“No!” You shake your head and growl. “She didn’t want to die. She just wanted justice.”

“You’re still trying to reconcile saving her life by lying. You’ve done that numerous times in the past. But this was different.”

“Yes!” You look up with wild eyes. “Of course it was!”

Nina sets her pen down, cradling the notepad as she looks sympathetically at you. “Did you talk to Brian about this?”

“No …”

“How about someone from the Prometheus unit?”

You sigh and lean back. “No.”

“Just me then.”

You twist your lips and sigh again. “No. Well, not exactly.”

“Can you explain further?” she says with gentle caution.

“Well, I didn’t out right say I was feeling guilty, but Emily knows that I killed my abuser. And she’s a profiler. She knows how to add all that shit up to a reasonable conclusion.” You hold your hands up in defeat. “She’s not stupid.”

“You don’t share these things so easily. Or at all.” Her blue eyes are scrutinizing you and you feel exposed. “What’s changed?”

You nervously lick your lips before biting the lower half from spilling how your heart has developed a rather large soft spot for the section chief. After a few beats of uncomfortable silence on your part, not Nina’s, she sits back up and accepts the non-answer. You know she has suspicions. “You don’t have to tell me. But it would be a good idea to revisit this at our next session since you’re going to be with these people for another …” She flips through her notes. “Five months?”

You nod in confirmation.

“Good. Now … let’s shift gears with how you’re handling the Sicarius case.”

Non Boss Chat Created at 1258

Penelope Garcia invited JJ and Tara Lewis to the chat.

Penelope Garica changed their username to Queen Penelope.

Queen Penelope sent at 1301: GUYS EMILY FLAKED OUT ON ASKING WHITLOCK OUT!!!

JJ joins the chat.

JJ sent 1325: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHEN?!

Queen Penelope sent 1325: Yesterday. She was all set to do it but then just came back and said she changed her mind.

Queen Penelope sent 1326: I want to know WHY

Queen Penelope changed JJ username to Cheeto Mom.

Cheeto Mom sent 1327: Spill. What exactly happened???

Cheeto Mom sent 1327: And WTF Pen. Really? Cheeto Mom?

Queen Penelope sent 1327: Yes! You are a mom and like Cheetos! So duh, Cheeto Mom!

Tara Lewis joins the chat.

Cheeto Mom sent 1328: Why can’t I be a queen like you?

Queen Penelope changed Cheeto Mom username to Queen Cheeto Mom.

Queen Penelope sent 1329: Better?

Queen Cheeto Mom sent 1331: Very

Tara Lewis sent 1331: What the hell did I just walk in on?

Queen Penelope changes Tara Lewis username to Bisexual Goddess.

Queen Cheeto Mom sent 1332: Emily was going to ask Whitlock out and didn’t!

Bisexual Goddess sent 1332: WHAT

Bisexual Goddess sent 1332: You are all not playing with me right? Also, I approve of the name change.

Queen Penelope sent 1333: We are not! And Yay!

Queen Penelope sent 1333: Our Emily really likes her but I don’t know why she doesn’t want to now.

Queen Cheeto Mom sent 1335: I repeat SPILL.

Queen Cheeto Mom sent 1335: WHAT HAPPENED???

Queen Penelope sent 1340: OK. We were at Quantico yesterday to deal with Spiderboy. When cutie left the lair I asked Emily about the whole into her thing. Cuz HELLO Emily is so loving the attention she was getting from her at Fireside. Emily denied I confirmed and after an amazing pep talk by yours truly she got up to go ask her out. Then when she came back she was all sad and that made me sad and when I asked why she was sad she just said she changed her mind. And when I pressed further, she told me to drop it rather angrily 😭

Bisexual Goddess sent 1350: That’s weird. Even for Emily. Did she say anything about why she changed her mind. Did she even talk to Whitlock?

Queen Penelope sent 1353: No. She didn’t. I got that out of her but nothing else.

Queen Penelope sent 1354: OOOOOOO maybe we can get Rebecca in on this to help!

Bisexual Goddess sent 1355: HELL NO! Were you NOT there on Friday when I said she hates people meddling in her love life? Need to let these two sort it out. Least we know our girl didn’t fuck things up with her mouth.

Queen Cheeto Mom sent 1401: Buuuuuuut … we can at least find out wtf happened with Emily.

Queen Cheeto Mom sent 1402: I’ll talk to Emily and see what happened.

Queen Penelope sent 1403: WHEN

Queen Cheeto Mom sent 1405: At soccer right now.

Bisexual Goddess sent 1406: They winning?

Queen Penelope sent 1406: Is Michael scoring all the goals?

Queen Cheeto Mom sent 1415: Yes and Yes 😊 One time at the wrong goal post LOL

User45125: Same shit on my end. Life. Will life get in the way with you being around?

FlamePit23: I’m not a psychic. But the plan is to be more active. Bunch of idiots on this board need a proper education and happy to enroll them in how to not blow yourself up and die and instead find the rush of fire to cover up all those lies.

User45125: All the lies of the world.

FlamePit23: And humanity.

User45125: Still the same old prophetic sounding girl I know. Good. Had any fun lately?

FlamePit23: Minor annoyances. Don’t want to go too big just yet until I’m ready for the next masterpiece.

User45125: Maybe I can help with that.

FlamePit23: That right? Do tell.

“Haven’t heard from him since,” you explain to Emily in her office. You wanted to make sure to brief her in full then just the quick update by text last night on your personal phone. Emily had turned one of the computer screens so the two of you could view the messages on either side of her desk.

“We need to tread carefully with this.” Emily leans back while running the fingers of one hand over the palm of the other. “After Green, he might sense another mole.”

You nod. “Agreed. I’m optimistic he sees me as the real user. Confirms the user is female like I anticipated, but until we know how he wants to help; we’re in a holding pattern until he explains further.”

“I’ll get Garcia on requisitioning burner phones for your use. If this continues, he’ll want to reach out and talk to you. Someone like this FlamePit23 will want to remain off the grid.”

“Makes sense. We’ll have to see how Pen’s doing with the digital footprints.”

“And you not having one will work in our favor. Soon as he sees your face, he’ll go snooping.” She looks at you and then nods. “Finally, your mysterious past works in our favor.”

You chuckle. “I thought my mysterious past was already working in our favor when I showed up at your door like the CIA leprechaun.”

Emily’s reaction is one sculpted brow raising.

“Uh …” You bring your arms up in a circle. “Stipend. Pot of gold.”

She remains unimpressed.

You lower your arms in a huff. “I didn’t wanna say I was your sugar mama again but …”

“Whitlock!” She growls and throws a pen sideways at you. “That’s not funny!”

You bring your hands up to deflect the pen that ricochets off your palm and to the floor. “Why I said pot of gold!”

“Just … go.” She waves you away. “Out! Go talk to Garcia and get your cover sorted.”

You pivot onto your feet in a flourish that has you standing at attention in the next second. You salute playfully. “Yes, ma’am.” And then before Emily had a chance to throw the piece of paper she was balling up; you make a swift exit.

Emily still chucks it after you, watching it arc in the air before it pitifully hits the floor at the threshold of her office door then rolls to a stop. Her face deeply sets into a frown as she is left wondering why you must remain so fucking adorable. It didn’t make this easier – stepping away because you clearly had no interest in her. Only this Nina that Brian set you up with. And fuck, Emily had been so sure Penelope was right in convincing her to go after you because she had just overheard how you were embarrassed singing in front of her and confirming that she had clearance. It made her feel nervous and excited all at once and it wasn’t a mixture of emotions she would have thought possible to feel for another woman again.

“Hey, Em.” JJ pokes her head through the doorway and looks down at the ball of paper. “Uh, you busy?”

“No, JJ. Come on in.”

She reaches down to pick up the paper. “You sure?” JJ shakes the wad and throws it back to Emily as she stands up to close the door.

Emily catches it with a flinch. “Yes. Why?”

“Whitlock told us a tale of woe of you trying to papercut her to death,” she says with a twinkle in her eye.

“As usual, that woman likes to exaggerate.” She sets the paper aside with more force than intended. “What can I do for you, JJ?”

“Well, I was curious about something.” She doesn’t elaborate further as she sits across from Emily.

Emily’s danger sense starts to go off, and her brown eyes narrow suspiciously. “About what exactly?”

That accusing tone makes JJ sit up straighter and grins knowingly. “About the woman you tried to hit that with when you should be hitting on her.”

“God damn it, Penelope …” Emily complains, lowering her head over the desk as she grips the roots of grey hair with frustration. She should’ve known Penelope would have said something even though she warned her not to. “Who else knows?”

“Just me and Tara.” Something inaudible was heard and JJ leaned in closer. “What was that?”

“I said shoot me.”

“That’s a bit dramatic, even for you Emily.” JJ tightens her lips at seeing her friend so wound up. “I’m just here to understand what happened.”

“You’re here to spy on me and report back.”

“Emily, look …” She stops, disappointed that Emily hasn’t looked up yet. “Hey, I rather I wasn’t talking to your head.

JJ watches as Emily’s shoulders dramatically rise and fall before she looks up and lets her hands fall against the desk. “She had a date.”

That made JJ jerk back in confusion. “Whitlock?” Emily nods. “So, you didn’t ask her out because she had a date? Suppose that doesn’t surprise me. Doesn’t take much for you to run away.”

Emily pushes herself up with an elbow and leans back. “Gee. Thanks, JJ.”

“It’s true! You suck at dating.” Her face drops with gentle sincerity. “And you suck at noticing when people have the hots for you.” She dramatically points to herself with two thumbs. “Case in point.”

She laughs morosely. “Fair. But keep in mind we were in two different places mentally and emotionally when that was happening.”

The back-and-forth affection that went beyond friendship just never connected at the right time for JJ and Emily. They long made peace with that fact years ago that it wasn’t meant to be. JJ moved on with Will and it really saddened her that Emily hadn’t found that special someone yet – which was by design or her friend’s awkwardness, the jury was still out. She knew that Emily wanted all of those things – a partner she could trust and confide in and start a long-term relationship with that meant moving in together and perhaps even marriage. The woman across from her kept self-sabotaging any chance of that from blossoming so far.

“And it doesn’t matter,” Emily states again.

“You need glasses because that girl was all over you on Friday with hands and eyes. Sometimes, those eyes of hers actually found yours when she wasn’t staring at your tits,” JJ teases.

“Then why was she so apologetic about this Nina?” she counters in anger, but it made her feel better that you were staring at her boobs.

“Wow.” JJ is shocked. “You really like her.”

“It doesn’t matter.” She brought her hand up to purposefully cut JJ off. “I mean it. I made my decision, and I stand by it. And I swear that the three of you need to stay out of it. I’m not going after Whitlock since she’s already maybe probably has someone.”

“Bu-“

“I mean it, JJ.” She glares hard at her. “And I don’t want to have this conversation again with any of you. And I fucking swear if Whitlock hears about this …”

“Hey, Em. Come on. We wouldn’t do anything like that to embarrass you. Or her. That’s crossing a line none of us would do.”

Emily seems to be appeased and nods curtly. “Good.”

“But …”

She groans in annoyance but allows JJ to continue.

“… I think it says a lot that you were going to take a chance on her. But making a decision on a partially overheard conversation doesn’t do your profiling skills justice.”

“What are you on about?” she asks, incredulously.

“All I’m saying, Em, is that you are thinking with your emotions and not that beautiful brain of yours. Since when do us profilers make a case based on a half overheard conversation and jump to only one outcome?” Emily looks to JJ as the blonde profiler nods at seeing her friend’s mind start to work. “You need more info.”

That conversation never had a chance to happen, and Emily was left ruminating on JJ’s advice when she sent the team out on a case in Hayden, ID four days later. The city was close to the Washington State border and a twenty-minute drive from Coeur d’Alene, ID. A body of an adult female had been found dumped in the woods with strangulation marks, broken fingers, burn marks, and shot twice in the chest. The victimology matched similar murders near Spokane and local authorities needed help finding the unsub before more victims appeared.

Emily had Rossi stay behind to keep working on Green to see if he would cooperate, which was turning into a colder lead by the day. They were trying hard to keep him out of prison and convince him that his cooperation would benefit all parties involved in capturing Sicarius. He keeps refusing to assist and the cognitive interview. The BAU was sympathetic to his plight, but Green has been warned that FBI benevolence can last for so long, especially since they have another way to contact Sicarius. So far, he doesn’t either care or believe them.

Back in Idaho, the four of you are split up to maximize resources and gather information. Alvez and Lewis went to Spokane, leaving you and JJ to work with the sheriff’s department, interview witnesses, family and friends, and examine the crime scene. You check in with your counterparts to compare notes several times a day to work the profile in two cities and update Prentiss and Garcia to narrow the search, fine tune the data.

Finally, you struck gold with Tommy Ferguson, a fifty-one-year-old local trucker who was physically abused by his alcoholic father. He had also been forced to watch his father beat and rape his mother repeatedly as punishment for being a bad child. When CPS* got involved, Tommy was living in Washington state and removed him from the home and placed in foster care. He passed around from home to home until he was of age. With this, he had a long list of anti-social traits that therapists tried to work through, but he often got into fights and petty thefts, causing small stints in jail. That is where he met Andrew Loyd as his cellmate, who was charged with involuntary manslaughter on his second DUI. The two of them met up three years ago after Loyd finished his stint in at the Idaho State Corrections, and soon the two spiraled into drugs, alcohol and violent tendencies against several women in the beginning when reunited. Loyd was the dominant in the relationship and kept escalating the partnership until they were torturing and murdering their victims.

This is why you were now outside a warehouse that was being rented by Ferguson with the reunited BAU and the local SWAT team. The contract had an agreement to store his cab, equipment, and trailers that he couldn’t store at his mobile home since there wasn’t enough room on the lot. It was also a potentially easy location to bring their victims to and from under the cover of Ferguson’s job. That was the running theory.

You convinced local police to keep Ferguson and Loyd off media outlets and take them by surprise as it was unknown if they had a current victim, and they were conveniently scarce. There were no missing people filed that fit their profile but that didn’t mean someone wasn’t inside the building. You couldn’t confirm and you didn’t want to escalate the timeframe of their kill and make a run for it. There were officers watching Ferguson’s trailer since he became a suspect but there was no recent sign of him. Even neighbors hadn’t seen him or Loyd lately. Loyd had no address and lived off the grid, presumably with Ferguson. That made the warehouse the most likely location for the pair.

The plan is simple. Enter quietly and take them by surprise once confirmed by plain clothes officers that they had visuals on the unsubs. The BAU and SWAT surrounded the area under the cover of Amazon and UPS trucks throughout the day setting up the operation. The vehicles would back up against the driveways and have officers secretly enter the buildings through the garages on either side of the targeted building, already approved by the owners of those properties. They would operate business as usual while feds and officers were staging the op in a locked back room. This was to keep the suspects contained in the area, minimize damage to the surrounding areas and loss of life, and hopefully protect any captured victims.

It was just after 10am when Luke and Tara took the lead heading behind the building while you and JJ had the front. Gun drawn, you nod to JJ and test the doorknob and true to the lifestyle in this area of Idaho, the door was unlocked while someone was onsite. You quietly continue to turn it and push the door open ajar. Silence greets you and nothing catches your visual interest. You signal to the team on how to split up and cover ground. JJ would be with you.

You and JJ broke off left and soon the beloved voice of Garcia was in your ear.

“Luke was useful and found an electrical box by his location. They missed it at first since it was painted over to look like part of the building.”

Then Prentiss spoke up. “It appears to be done on purpose. These guys are smart so be careful.”

“And it means I have access to the video feed. I will be your eyes my Padawans.”

You and JJ signal all clears and continue to move deeper into the warehouse. You are about to turn into the next room when Garcia shouts. “STOP! Do not go in there! Both of them are in the conference room with all sorts of nasty things that can kill you.”

You and JJ exchange looks, and you point to yourself, then her, and then the door signaling how you can take them by surprise. What you didn’t know is that Prentiss and Garcia can see you and JJ as well on the live feed by a camera in your area.

“Stand down. There’s no victim in there. Wait for further back up,” Prentiss orders.

“Uh … something spooked them. They’re grabbing things, Emily.” Penelope’s worried voice hits the adrenaline you have into overdrive.

“God damn SWAT moved too close to the windows.” Yeah, Prentiss was pissed. So are you.

You hear the erratic sounds of metal being moved around and a clip of ammo clicking into place. There were also careless footfalls that were smacking into furniture. With only seconds to think this through you look to JJ and signal for her to back up and they should take them as they leave. She nods in agreement as you holster your gun.

“What the hell are you doing, Whitlock? Pull your firearm out.” You ignore Emily because you know what you were doing. “I know you can hear me. Pull out your weapon!”

You both brace yourselves against the walls as you hear steps getting closer, the handle starts to shake, and soon the door swung open towards the inside. Your focus was on the first one that came through the door, and it was the lanky, greasy brown-haired Loyd. You grab his gun arm viciously and spin him around so his back slams up against the wall so hard that his baseball cap gets knocked off and falls to the ground. With you in control of where the gun is pointed, you and JJ remain safe.

The events happened so fast that Ferguson didn’t know what to make of it and when he passed through the doorway, his attention was with the struggle his partner was having with you. All it took was a well place crack of her gun handle on Ferguson’s shoulder to force him to drop his weapon. She kicks it out of reach and grabs him by the shirt collar. “FBI! Don’t move!” and places the barrel of the gun against his head for emphasis.

You put immediate pressure on the outside of Loyd’s arm against his radial nerve that causes him to cry out in excruciating pain that forces him to drop the weapon. You then twist his arm while kicking the gun far away from both men, forcing him to come off the wall and onto his knees. From there, it was easy to cuff him.

You and JJ had fun ping ponging announcing their Miranda rights as you both walked them through the warehouse.

Penelope warily looks up at Emily as the chatter from Luke and Tara comes through congratulating you and JJ on a nice takedown of the unsubs without being hurt. She saw Emily face set squarely, nostrils flaring with each inhalation of breath. The palms of her hands remained flat on Penelope’s desk, but Emily’s fingers were jagged at each joint. She was pissed.

She tries to diffuse the tension by clapping her hands. “Yay! Team Padawan got the bad guys!”

Emily raises a brow and tilts her head before pushing herself up to stand fully. “Yes, they did. Approximately how long until they’re back.”

“Uh …” She puts her arms down to do some calculations. “Probably seven to nine hours depending how quickly they hand the case off to local PD.”

“Let me know when they land.” She orders before turning to leave, not acknowledging Penelope with even a look.

When the door closes, Penelope mouths a ‘wow’ and looks at you on the video feed. “Oh, my beloved Whitlock. Mom’s pissed at you.”

Seven hours later, the BAU was back at Quantico and exhausted. You were all looking forward to finalizing the checkout procedure and heading home.

JJ is on her phone texting back and forth with Will as she heads to pick up her things at her desk. Luke yawns as he swings his to go bag around in hand and lets go, watching it land on his chair. He pumps his fist in victory. “Yes!”

“Nice form, Alvez. I’m impressed.” Tara looks at you. “Your turn.”

“Yeah, no. Knowing my luck, I’ll miss and knock everything off my desk.” You set your bag down on top of your desk and log into your computer to check out when Emily’s voice cuts through the lighthearted camaraderie.

“Whitlock. My office now.”

You look up in time to see an indignant cross armed Prentiss make brief eye contact with you before making an about face back inside her office. You didn’t even have a chance to appear confused before her, but your team saw it.

“What did you do?” Luke asks from across the bullpen.

“I … honestly have no idea,” you admit lamely and look to Tara and JJ. “You have any insights?”

Of course, the two of them wonder if this is about Emily’s feelings towards you and she was pretending to be upset to throw them off the trail.

Tara shrugs helplessly and JJ shakes her head no.

“Big help you two are.” You lock your station and start heading up to Emily’s office. “Better not keep her waiting.”

Once you passed by and were at a safe distance, Tara locks eyes with JJ and mouths, ‘Is this about your talk with Emily?’

JJ shrugs and mouths back, ‘No idea.’

Luke was too busy finishing up to notice the exchange.

“Hey …” you say, poking your head in and study Emily behind her desk not looking at you but at a file. She was making notes with a pen. You got a shiver down your spine and have a sense of déjà vu. “Wanted to see me?”

“Close the door.” She said it without looking up making you frown, but you did it. When it clicks close, she speaks again in that clip tone. “Have a seat.”

She still wasn’t looking at you and you almost wanted to take a seat on the couch to fuck with her but even you knew when to behave. It wasn’t often, but this was one of those times. So, you take a seat, rest a shoe on the opposite knee and interlock your fingers together on your stomach.

You begin the opening salvo with a, “What’s up chief?” since you sense a fight.

Emily makes a production in capping the pen before setting it down. It was then she looks.up at you with formidable brown orbs. “You may have gotten away with a lot of interpretations of orders in the CIA, but as you’re a member of the BAU, mine are not a suggestion.”

“Wait,” You pull your fingers free to lift a hand up to point at Emily. “This is about me putting my gun away?”

“Yes, this is about that. You never holster a weapon when confronting suspects,” she snaps back.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I am not.” She points the pen accusingly at you. “You went against protocol and my order. You could’ve gotten yourself and JJ killed.”

“But based on what I was aware of, I made the better call. Which ended in no shots fired and the suspects in custody.”

She looks at you with indignation and sits up straight in the chair. “But there is no way you could have predicted that. You got lucky.”

“No, what’s lucky is the call I made because I was concerned that if they saw us in their peripherals, they’d start shooting. By taking one by surprise, it knocked the other off their game and they became easy pickings for me and JJ to apprehend. It didn’t even take a minute,” you explain calmly. You didn’t want to feed into Prentiss’ exertion of authority. Even if the two of you were able to open up to one another and find common ground, you felt that your friendship with her was hanging on a precarious thread. Ever since drunk karaoke in her car, Emily felt more distant this week. Nothing could prove this was true besides the gnawing feeling in your gut.

Emily crosses her arms across her chest defensively. “You didn’t wait to hear what my next orders were going to be because you ignored me. You do not ignore your superior in the field, Whitlock.”

“Okay, then. Enlighten me oh great and all-knowing Prentiss on how the situation would have went down with your orders.” You motion to her with both arms extending with the cocky condescending tone you were known for. Yeah, the whole being nice thing just went out the window after that.

“You and JJ would have backed off, put enough distance between you and the door to provide enough opportunity to take them off guard. You’d have them in your sights with weapons trained on them, giving you both the upper hand.”

“Loyd is the issue with that.” She starts to open her mouth to argue but you continue. “I’m serious. The guy got off on violence and would have opened fire. Instead of exchanging fire with no known outcome on casualties, we go two suspects alive and me and JJ unharmed.”

Emily knew you were right, but she was edging towards a release and fighting with you for going against her order was all she had right now. It was completely irrational, and she knew it, but her mouth wouldn’t stop. “Regardless you blatantly ignored me in the field. That is unacceptable. How am I to trust you won’t do this again?”

That raises the hackles on your neck. Your face twists in contempt as she doesn’t back down with her haughty air of authority. “Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?! After everything I told you, after everything we shared, you don’t fucking trust me?”

Your eyes were seething, which matches the intensity of Emily’s anger. But there was a flicker of awareness that briefly peaked through a crack in her defense.

Your phone rings and you reach for it resting in your back pocket. “May the ladyship excuse me?” You ask with a biting tone. “I have to check who this is. Or are ya gonna order me to ignore it?”

“Don’t be a child.” She snaps.

“Then stop acting like I personally offended you because I made the better call.” You could feel your lips curl into a snarl. You were offended that Emily felt that your relationship had to fall back a few steps because her ego got bruised. You thought Emily was better than the usual agents turned bureaucrats. Emily had strong roots in the work. She should be able to understand a different call in the middle of an operation that you felt was right, not because you wanted to undermine her authority. You pegged her wrong, and it saddens you.

“Ah fuck.” You finally take note of who was calling and hit accept before it went to voicemail. “I need to take this.”

“Brian?” she asks hesitantly.

“No, my therapist.” You watched as Emily’s face went from hot to baffled within seconds. “What? Never had mandated therapy before?” you accuse, because of course Emily had it with all the shit she’s been through and switch your attention to the caller. “Kinda late for you. Everything alright?”

“Well, is everything alright with you?”

“Yes, just in a meeting with my boss.”

“Emily?”

You sigh and confirm. “Yes, Emily. But back to you, why are you calling?”

“I need to reschedule Monday. I’m on the way to the airport to see my mother.”

“Oh shit. Is she okay?”

“She had a fall, and I need to get eyes on her.”

You are amazed at how Nina could sound so sterile over the phone about personal matters. You know why, because you’re her patient, and it makes sense to keep things separated as much as possible. But there are times, like this, when she offers a glimpse into her life.

“I’m sorry to hear that and yeah, of course we can reschedule. I hope she’s gonna be okay.” You mean every word. You always find people who have any relationship with their mothers that are positive, something to be grateful for. You sure as hell didn’t have that.

“I appreciate that. Talk to you soon.”

“Yeah, Nina. Be safe.”

Emily’s eyes widen in horror and JJ’s words come back to haunt her. She made a terrible assumption and clearly didn’t have all the information because Nina was your therapist. And your therapist knew about her. So, in some way, you talked about her in your sessions. Or was it just a footnote in your file that Nina knew? Either way….

Fuck!

Emily recovers quickly and smooths out her features as you end the call. “Is Nina alright?”

You found it strange that Emily seemingly cared about this after being a bitch. “She is. It’s her mom.”

“Oh.” She licks her lips and decides not to press further. Your curt responses were not open ended. You were closing up and rightfully so. Damn her assumptions and taking the call you made in the field personally. This should have been a collaborated conversation about field ops and chain of command. A conversation you had hinted happened often and got you into trouble. Why should it be different at the BAU? She offers neutral sympathy. “I’m … sorry to hear that.”

You squint trying to read Emily and come up confused. “Yeah. Anyway …” you quirk a brow. “Shall we revisit the child comment?”

“No. I think we’re done here.” Her tone is not as sharp but holds finality.

“Fantastic.” You rise and start to leave, but before you do, you take one last look at Prentiss and give her a Han Solo salute. “Have a lovely weekend your worshipfulness. See ya Monday.”

Emily watches you go but unlike the last time the two of you argued, you didn’t slam the door closed, and Emily didn’t reach for the pack of cigarettes in the desk drawer. Instead, she rests her forehead against the desk and pounds a fist atop it. “Fucking hell.”

*Child Protective Services

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