#heaven and hell are toxic af

[bluberryfields]

This is what happens when you're raised by TV and trained in literary analysis

Beyond the crushing heartbreak of that finale, one thing in particular has stuck with me when I look at it in the context of S2 as a whole.

He lays out their relationship, "We're a team, a group. A group of the two of us. And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't."

He then turns his head away and says, "I mean, the last few years, not really."

He pauses here, facing the interior of the bookshop. Really looks it up and down.

Turns back, "And I would like to spend" before choking on his words and looks toward the window. He can't finish saying something like "And I would like to spend eternity with you" because that's too much, too fast, for both of them.

But it's that "last few years" bit that has firmly lodged itself in my very broken brain.

According to Gaiman, it's been "a few years" since the end of Season 1. Armageddon has been averted. Heaven and Hell have reluctantly retreated. Crowley and Aziraphale have been effectively cut loose from their "sides," leaving them to form their own side.

So at the start of Season 2, we get a glimpse of the “fragile existence” they have carved out for themselves. To me, the biggest difference that we see is how they exist together in front of others. Going to the coffee shop, the pub, and the other shops along the street that Aziraphale has lived on for over 200 years. And don’t forget how they act in front of Nina, Maggie, and sweet, dim Muriel.

At the coffee shop, Aziraphale stammers a bit when Nina asks who Crowley is, but he still seems to have affection in his voice when he says, "We go back a long time."

Compared to Shakespearian "He's not my friend! We've never met before. We don't know each other!" panic, this is an incredible difference.

Of course, each time, Crowley is cool and cheeky and does nothing to indicate that they aren't a pair. Though, of course, he does deny it when Nina asks about Aziraphale being his side piece. “He’s not my bit on the side! He’s far too pure of heart to be anyone’s bit on the side.” And refers to him as an “Angel [swallows]I know.”

When they go the pub, Crowley's joy at doing something together in public that they do not normally do is super cute, including his cheeky order for Aziraphale's sherry. Then, when bringing the drinks over to the socially trapped Aziraphale, he greets Mr. Brown with a truly adorable, "Hello" and a signature DT smile. Then upon hearing how “excited” Mr. Fell is to host the meeting, he looks down and says, “Oh? You astonish me.” while Aziraphale sips his sherry and squirms.

We also watch as Crowley follows Aziraphale as he goes to each shop and talks to the owners about the meeting/secret ball. In theory, Crowley has no reason to tag along, and he certainly doesn’t help sway anyone who doesn’t want to/can’t go. He goofs around at the magic shop. He splays out on the bench, chin on hand, looking for all the world a husband waiting for his wife to pick out a dress at the department store. They are so married it’s ridiculous.

Finally, their behavior in front of Muriel while inside their sanctuary. Crowley sits on the arm of Aziraphale’s chair, somehow looking supremely comfortable on the old-fashioned furniture. He folds up those gloriously long limbs and presses himself as close as possible.

He smiles and plays along with Aziraphale’s coaching of Muriel in her disguise. Calls him Angel and asks to speak in private. And at the end, during the awful wait while Aziraphale talks with The Metatron, Crowley cleans up the shop and tells Muriel that he and Aziraphale will need some “us” time after all this. No beating around the bush. 

Without oversight, they can be openly together and happy. But Heaven just can’t let that happen. 

[bluberryfields]

Vulnerable Crowley

Crumbling

[redvexillum]

@crackrodent I really am using your requests as tribute for my Kinktober/Flufftober, lol. This is my very first Adam ask and I'm sorry, I can't kill Adam! You know how much I love Adam! That's it *rolls up sleeves* imma show you what happens when you mess with the d1ckm@ster! Rawr! 😈

Special thanks to @redfoxwritesstuff for being my muse for this story. Bless you. I had way too much fucking fun writing this. 💖

TAGS/WARNINGS: f!reader, reader is fox demon for plot, sinner!adam, d☆ggy style, reader has a potty mouth, adam is the dickmaster, an☆l play, sp☆nking, hair pulling, multiple ☆rgasm (f!receiving), sq☆irting, rough s☆x, bl☆w job, big d☆ck adam, dom/sub undertone, so much f☆cking banter istg please shut up, adam being adam, adam figuratively sucking his own dick, toxic masculinity just oozes out of adam but the sex is hot af tho, adam is kind of a loveable idiot (?), I really went overboard here...sry kit (but not rly ayyy 🤣), CRUFTTY (crack + fluff + smut)

Building a sandwich was fucking art.  

The bread had to be perfect – moist and soft, but not so soft that it turned into a soggy mess under the weight of the toppings. It needed strength to hold everything together, to create a flawless bite.  

Every ingredient was handpicked by yours truly, each one deserving its place. The crispness of the lettuce, the savoury crunch of bacon, and the creamy balance of mayonnaise all had to align just right. Too much of anything, and the delicate flavour of harmony would soon collapse into a desolate heap of failure.  

It was your first day at “Hazbin Hotel,” a place with the dumbest fucking name you’d ever heard. Redemption, they called it. A program to save sinners, to help them earn their way to heaven. So far, all you’d seen was a ragtag crew of lunatics who wouldn’t have spent five minutes together unless they had their own selfish reasons for being here.  

Not that you gave a damn. You were here for one thing: free rent and free food. Your pointy ears twitched at the sound of manic laughter echoing through the halls. Niffty? Swifty? Whatever the hell her name was, you didn’t care enough to remember.  

All that mattered right now was your sandwich.  

Your orange tail, fluffy and tipped in black, swayed behind you as you worked with precision. The smell of freshly fried bacon lingered in the air, and a satisfied shiver ran down your spine. You squinted, eyeing the perfect amount of mayonnaise that dropped onto the bread with a soft plop. A sense of pride bloomed in your chest as you spread it evenly, knowing this was going to be the best fucking sandwich you’d ever made since coming down to Hell.  

Your lips stretched into a grin as you placed the final slice of bread on top, your tail flicking back and forth in anticipation. 

This was it. 

Perfection.  

Nothing could ruin this beautiful moment.  

Until, of course, all hell broke loose.  

As you stepped into the lobby, plate in hand, you barely had time to process the chaos before you. Your feet skidded to a halt, and you almost dropped your sandwich. The sandwich you would’ve committed six counts of murder for. 

“Holy shit!” you yelped, barely saving the plate from tumbling.  

There, right in front of you, was Niffty – or Swifty – going full psycho mode, cackling like a maniac as she repeatedly stabbed the newest guest. The guy was on the floor, writhing in agony, while Niffty giggled like it was the funniest thing in the world. “DIE! DIE! DIE! HAHAHA!” she screamed, her voice high-pitched and sharp.  

The blood splattered in bright red streaks as her tiny form hovered over him, the blade of her dagger glistening with every wild thrust. You watched, half in horror, half in disbelief, as she continued her assault with a grin that could only belong to someone completely unhinged.  

It wasn’t until Charlie – or was it Marley? - rushed in, shouting and waving her arms, that the scene started to settle. “Niffty, stop!” she yelled, scooping up the small, crazed girl with a panicked gasp. The dagger slipped from Niffty’s hand, clattering to the ground, blood still dripping from its blade.  

Huh. So, the girl’s name was Niffty.  

Noted.  

You picked up your sandwich, sinking your teeth into it, and damn near moaned right there in the lobby. The crisp, salty bacon mingled with the fresh crunch of lettuce, all balanced perfectly with the smooth creaminess of mayo. The bread was just the right kind of soft, with a subtle sweetness that tied everything together. It was like biting into a small piece of fucking heaven, even if you were in literal hell.  

“Oh, fuck,” came a groan from the man on the floor, interrupting your moment of sandwich bliss. The shitty guy who’d just been stabbed was slowly getting to his feet, looking dazed. “What the fuck!” he whined, wincing as he touched his back, his fingers now slick with blood. “That fucking hurts, like, real bad!”  

You rolled your eyes. Drama queen. This was hell, he was going to regenerate in a couple of minutes anyhow. You looked at him, and you almost dropped your sandwich, again.  

This guy.  

This fucking guy.  

Why was this fucking guy here, of all places? 

Marley – no, Charlie, fuck, whatever – chuckled sheepishly. “Sorry about that,” she said, flashing a nervous grin. “I, uh, forgot to tell Niffty that you’re not a bad guy anymore and at least she didn’t stab you with Angelic Steel!” she smiled way too brightly, as if that would somehow smooth things over.  

The man groaned again, straightening up with an exaggerated wince. “Ugh, I was never a bad guy,” he huffed, raising his hands in a condescending little air-quote gesture. “I was chosen and ordained by the big man upstairs to do what was right.” His nose shot up in the air like he thought he was some hot shit, and he crossed his arms with the kind of arrogance that made you want to punch him in the throat.  

You didn’t give two shits about the conversation. Hell, it was taking every ounce of self-control not to rip his trachea out right then and there. Of all the scum in hell, this asshole was the worst.  

Before the hotel, you’d made the horrible mistake of matching with him on Vinder, thinking maybe you could enjoy a no-strings-attached fling. 

Big fucking mistake.  

Your eyes twitched at the flood of memories. His obnoxious, open-mouth chewing. His laugh – raucous, loud, and so fucking embarrassing in public. And the way he’d slapped your ass during the first date like he fucking owned you.  

Chauvinistic.  

Pig.  

Every fibre of your being hated him.  

Well, almost everything.  

Your fingers tightened around the plate; the half-eaten sandwich forgotten. You hated him with a passion, but you couldn’t deny one thing: he had a huge cock. And, fuck, he knew how to use it. No matter how many times you swore it would be the last time; you kept crawling back, falling into the same damn cycle.  

One more fuck turned into two, then three, then how the hell did this happen again?

You were a goddamn addict – specifically, addicted to his dick. If you could slap a paper bag over his head, tie him up, and just ride him without hearing his obnoxious voice, that would be ideal. But you had no fucking self-control, and now here you were, in this weird-ass hotel,probably a cult at this point, hoping for a clean break.  

Adam – fucking Adam – caught your eye. His lips curled into a wide grin, teeth flashing like he’d just found a new toy. His red eyes sparkled in the dim light as he swaggered toward you, arms wide open. “Sugartits!” he called out, his voice like nails on a chalkboard. He moved in for a hug.  

You ducked under his arm, shooting him the nastiest scowl you could muster. Your ears flattened against your head, tail dropping between your legs in a stiff, unamused twitch.  

“You two know each other?” Marley – Charlie – whoever, asked, looking between you both with a raised brow and growing curiosity.  

“No,” you said curtly, biting into your sandwich again with more aggression than necessary.  

Adam, of course, couldn’t resist. “Oh, you could say I know her very well,” he said with a shit-eating grin, waggling his eyebrows like an idiot.  

“Ew,” Marley muttered, grimacing without even trying to hide her disgust.  

You groaned inwardly. Of all the fucking people in hell, why did it have to be him? 

Before you could even form a word, Adam’s fingers wiggled playfully, his lips curling into an “O” as he honed in on your sandwich like a predator eyeing its prey. “Aww, babe, you shouldn’t have!” he exclaimed, snatching up the sandwich you had poured your soul into for the last thirty minutes.  

“Wha-Wait-” you sputtered, horrified, as he stuffed the sandwich into his mouth in two massive bites, crumbs tumbling from his lips without a single ounce of grace.  

“Oh, hmm,” he chewed noisily, his cheeks bulging with food as he smacked his lips obnoxiously. “Ya know, I think you-” smack, smack, smack – his disgusting chewing noises clashing with the image of your sandwich being annihilated. “You may have put too much mayonnaise,” he continued, crumbs flying as he spoke with his mouth open. “So, I’d give it a 4 out of 10.” 

The low, primal growl that erupted from your throat felt volcanic, like every ounce of rage you’d bottled up over the miserable dates and hollow excuses was bubbling to the surface. 

You were fucking done.  

Every humiliating dinner where he’d “forgotten” his wallet, every time you’d fucked him to deal with your frustration with him – it all flashed through your mind in an explosive torrent. Without thinking, you grabbed his collar and yanked him down to your level.  

“We need to fucking talk,” you growled, teeth clenched, venom practically dripping from your words.  

Dragging him towards your room, your eyes narrowed in disgust as Adam shot a wink at Marley, fingers raised in an unmistakable gesture for “fucking.” Of course, he thought this was just some sort of game.  

No amount of good dick would make you compromise on your self-respect–-

And yet, here you were, kneeling naked in your room, your mouth wrapped around his thick cock, the taste of him flooding your senses. The worst part? You didn’t even remember how the hell you got here.  

“Oh fuck, you missed my cock, didn’t you babe?” Adam groaned; his voice thick with smug satisfaction. His hand gripped the base of his cock while his other fingers curled into your hair, tugging hard enough to make you gasp. “Open that pretty little mouth for me. Say your prayers like the good girl you are,” he crooned, his voice dripping with arrogance.  

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.  

You hated him. You hated how he could still make you fall to your knees with just a look. One second, you’d been screaming at him, ready to shove a 21-inch dildo up his ass, and the next, he had his cock out, and there you were – sucking him off like nothing had changed.  

Fuck.  

Your lips stretched painfully around his girth as he pushed deeper into your mouth, groaning as your warmth engulfed him. His soft, pudgy stomach pressed against your forehead as he shoved his fat cock all the way to the hilt. Your throat tightened around him, gagging slightly, but the reaction only made your pussy throb with need. The taste of him was heady, familiar, and it brought back memories of the way he could fuck you into oblivion, no matter how much you hated him.  

“That’s it, babe, suck it nice and deep,” Adam grunted, his hips thrusting forward as he buried himself deeper in your throat. “Bet you fucking missed this cock, huh? It’s been too long since you had a real man inside you.” 

You rolled your eyes, choking back the desire to tell him to shut the fuck up. If he would just be quiet for one goddamn second, you’d probably cum just from sucking his cock alone. But no, he always had to run his mouth.  

Then, his foot pressed firmly between your legs, the top of it rubbing directly against your slick pussy. Your breath hitched as his smug grin stretched wider, his eyes locking onto yours. “Go on, babe,” he taunted, his voice low and teasing. “I want to see you hump like the needy slut you are. Show me how much you fucking need it.” 

The words should’ve made you furious, but instead, they sent a shudder of arousal through your body. Your hips moved on their own, grinding down against his foot, your wetness soaking his skin as you rode him like you were desperate for release.  

You should hate this. You should hate him.  

You do hate him.  

But goddammit, you don’t hate this. 

“Mmph,” you moaned around his cock, your voice muffled by the thick shaft filling your throat. Your hips bucked wildly against his foot, the pressure building inside you faster than you’d like to admit. The musky taste of his pre-cum sliding down your throat made your whole-body clench in anticipation, bringing you dangerously close to the edge.  

“That’s right, sugartits,” Adam groaned, his voice thick with satisfaction. “Look how good you are, sucking my big, fat cock.” The grin on his face was full of smug pride, and you could practically see the self-satisfaction swelling in his chest.  

The words “fuck you” echoed in your mind, but the moment his foot sped up, rubbing your clit in rapid strokes, your defiance crumbled beneath the weight of pure pleasure. The sharp edge of it cut through you, sending heat spreading like wildfire as your body tensed. Then, the first orgasm ripped through you, crashing like a wave and leaving your nerves buzzing in its wake.  

A muffled moan escaped around his cock, your spit trailing down your chin, your eyes rolling back in your head as your hands dug into his thighs for support. Fuck, it felt good. Fuck, it’s been too long.  

Adam pulled his cock free with a wet pop, and you barely had time to catch your breath before your legs trembled, the aftershocks still rippling through you.  

But just as you started to get your bearings, the world spun as he flipped you upside down, blood rushing to your head, disorienting you. His cock was right in your face again, and your brain struggled to catch up.  

“Wh-what the fuck are you doing?” you screeched, grabbing onto his bare hip for balance, your legs flailing helplessly in the air like a fish out of water.  

“Relax, babe. I’m going to eat you out,” he said simply, his breath hot against your dripping folds. He didn’t wait for your reply. “Now, shut up. Either suck my cock or wait your turn like a good girl for your second orgasm.” The condescension in his voice made you want to punch him.  

“Fuck you,” you spat, but your words were cut short as Adam ground his cock against your cheek, the heat of him searing into your skin.  

“You’re not that – ah – ah – fuck!” The insult died in your throat as your knees buckled, legs trembling with the sudden rush of pleasure. His tongue was already working between your folds, lapping at your wetness with obscene slurping sounds, like he was a dog drinking from a fountain.  

“Oh fuck, I’ve had better, you know,” you gasped, but even as you said it, your vision blurred from the lightheadedness, the blood pooling in your head making you dizzy. Your words rang hollow.  

Adam didn’t respond with words. Instead, he shoved his thick tongue deeper inside you, practically fucking your pussy with it. The roughness of his beard brushed against your sensitive clit, sending shockwaves through your body that had you trembling.  

“Fuck...fuck...” you whined, unable to stop the involuntary moans spilling from your lips. Your hand instinctively found his cock, pumping it with desperate need. You fucking jackass. You hated how his scent, his cock, his fucking presencehad this kind of power over you. The desire to ride him until you couldn’t walk for days burned in your gut.  

You hated everything about him – his cocky attitude, his smug grin, his fucking voice.  

But fuck, his cock? His cock almost made up for it. Almost. 

With a loud curse, as his mouth latched onto your swollen clit and sucked with relentless abandon, you felt yourself losing control. Your mouth opened wide, taking him back inside, your head bobbing back and forth as he fucked your mouth in rhythm with his tongue devouring you.  

The pressure from hanging upside down added to the dizzying pleasure, the blood rushing to your head making you lightheaded, while the taste of him hit your tongue. You needed both hands to grip his cock, stroking it harder, faster, desperate for his release – desperate for something to satisfy the ache growing inside you. Every orgasm he gave you left you unsatisfied because you knew the only thing that could truly wreck you was him fucking you senseless.  

As he always did.  

Your stomach clenched tight, thighs shaking as Adam moaned into your cunt, the vibration sending shivers of delight through you. His nose nudged against the base of your folds, his breath hot and heavy. “You gonna cum again, bitch?” he growled, his voice muffled, but the meaning was clear. The vibration of his words only pushed you closer to the edge.  

You hated how right he was. Fuck, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of making you cum again. You wanted to prove he wasn’t that good, that he didn’t know your body inside and out, that he couldn’t make you sing like a fucking instrument in his hands.  

But it was like he could read your mind, taking your challenge as an invitation. He bucked his hips, pistoning into your mouth harder, while his lips and tongue attacked your clit with reckless fervour. Saliva dripped from your mouth, your face flushed and wet with the effort of keeping up with his pace.  

It was only a matter of time. Your body betrayed you, your ass clenched, your legs spread wider, and with one last pulse of his tongue against your sensitive nub, you exploded. Another orgasm hit you, more intense than the last, your muffled cries of release vibrating around his cock as your body shook in his grasp.  

Tears blurred your vision, streaming down your face as waves of pleasure coursed through your body, leaving you breathless. The world spun once more as Adam laid you down, your back hitting the mattress with a soft thud.  

Your chest heaved, breath ragged, and your left leg twitched with the aftershocks pulsing through your still-throbbing core. The only sounds were your gasps and his own laboured breathing, tangled together in the humid air.  

Through bleary, tear-filled eyes, you glared up at him. “Fuck you,” you managed to spit out between shaky breaths.  

Adam, ever the cocky bastard, stroked his cock, slick with your spit, his hand gliding smoothly along his length. “Babe, that’s exactly what I’m about to do.” His smirk was infuriating, and all you could think about was shoving his face between your legs, smothering him with your pussy until he couldn’t talk anymore. God, you wanted to suffocate him with it. Death by cunt? Sign me the fuck-up. 

Why did he have to be such a colossal dick? The thought barely crossed your mind before his knees sank into the mattress, the bed groaning under his weight.  

“It you didn’t - hah – talk so much, you’d almost be tolerable,” you shot back, each word laced with venom.  

He burst out into bright laughter. “Tolerable? Baby, the way you worship my cock, you’re practically my most devout follower.” His sharp grin caught the dim light, and you couldn’t help the eye-roll that followed.  

“Holy fuck, you’re the biggest douchebag I know, I can’t even – ah!” Your words turned into a yelp as he slammed his hips against yours, burying himself deep inside you, aided by the slick remnants of your previous orgasms and his saliva.  

“Feel that?” he huffed, rolling his hips against your oversensitive clit, his voice dripping with smugness. “Look how fucking needy you are, bitch,” his grin widened as he looked down at you, eyes gleaming. “How many other cocks have tried to fill you since me? Any of them as good?” His hips slammed into yours, the wet, filthy sound of skin meeting skin filling the room.  

“Tell me, huh? Bet none of them could do this.” He pulled out, teasing you, before driving his cock back in, deeper, harder, the tip nudging against your cervix.  

“FUCK!” you screamed, legs instinctively spreading wider, your body arcing up to meet his. “You’re - ugh – such – a – fucking – ugh – ASS!” Each word was broken by the force of his persistent thrusts, the bed beneath you creaking in rhythm with his movements. It was like the damn thing was protesting as loudly as you were.  

“Good?” he smirked, filling in the blanks for you with every thrust. “Sexy? Amazing? Fantastic?” His pace quickened, clearly getting off on his own damn ego. If there was one thing he’d come from, it was the sound of his own bullshit.  

“All - ugh – you're good for – is your dick,” you growled, strands of hair sticking to your sweaty face, your skin slick with the sheen of your effort. You hated him, hated how smug he was, how cocky – and fuck, how right he was about how good his cock felt.  

Adam pulled out, his cock rock-hard and glistening with your arousal clinging to him. He gripped your hips and flipped you onto your stomach, pulling your ass up and pressing your face into the mattress.  

Your heart skipped. This was the position that always wrecked you. Every. Single. Time. 

“That’s why,” he lined up, the blunt tip of his cock teasing your entrance, “they call me the Dickmaster.” He punctuated his words by thrusting into you in one fluid stroke, filling you completely, pushing deep until he hit your womb. Your back arched as a shameless moan tore from your lips, your body curling from the overwhelming fullness.  

“FUCK.” You nearly screamed. “Dickmaster? Are you fucking serious?” But despite the sheer cringe of the nickname, your body betrayed you. You moaned, louder, longer, as he thrust into you. The pleasure mixed with the sheer absurdity of it all.  

He was so fucking cheesy. The cringiest man alive. Dickmaster? More like Cringemaster. And yet, here you were, being dicked down by this walking embarrassment, moaning like a bitch in heat. The passion you felt for him, the anger, the lust – it all mixed into a chaotic storm, burning hot inside you.  

“Fuuuck youuu,” you wailed, voice trembling as Adam’s hips resumed their brutal, punishing rhythm. Each thrust sent shockwaves through your body, his hand coming down hard on your ass, the crack of skin-on-skin only fuelling the fire that was already burning through you.  

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m gonna fucking kill you,” you sobbed, the sting from each slap merging with the pleasure, searing through your core as the heat radiated across your skin. You were sure his handprint was branded on your ass, marking you as his.  

The pleasure built and built, his heavy balls slapping mercilessly against your clit with each thrust. It was overwhelming, your body trembling in a puddle of your own arousal, tears, and drool. 

Why did you keep coming back to him? Out of all the sinners you could fuck, you always crawled back to him for a taste of that damn dick.  

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck,” you chanted mindlessly, your cunt squeezing tight around him as another orgasm threatened to break loose. But just when you were on the edge, he reached for your tail and yanked. Hard. 

“YIP!” you screeched, the sharp, high-pitched squeal erupting from your throat as the flames of your arousal were doused instantly. You whipped your head around, glaring at him over your shoulder. “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” you barked, though the effect was somewhat ruined by the fact that you were on all fours, impaled on his cock with your ass still up in the air.  

Adam’s eyes widened, his expression morphing from confusion to realization. “Oh shit, so that wasn’t your butt plug?” he asked, cock still buried deep inside you, pulsing against your fluttering walls that betrayed the fury burning inside you.  

“WE’VE BEEN FUCKING FOR OVER HALF A YEAR, YOU ASSHOLE,” you snapped, baring your teeth in a snarl. “YOU EVEN FUCKED MY ASS! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I’D BE WEARING A BUTT PLUG NOW?” 

He raised his hands in mock surrender, but his hips didn’t stop rocking gently into you, sending shivers up your spine despite your anger. “Babe, it was an honest mistake,” he said before licking his fingers and sliding one thick digit down, pressing against your ass. “Let me make it up to you.” 

Before you could protest, his finger was already pushing past the tight ring of muscle, sinking into your ass as your tail stiffened in response. “Oh, fuck,” you groaned, your resolve crumbling as the pleasure returned full force. His finger curled just right, rubbing the thin wall separating your pussy from your ass, sending jolts of ecstasy through both holes.  

“Remember when I took your anal virginity?” Adam’s voice was smug, but the curl of his finger had you moaning instead of cursing him out. He pumped his finger slowly, in sync with the thrusts of his cock, his breath ragged with excitement. “You told me you hated anal, but look at you now. Begging for more.” 

Your head dropped onto the mattress, your tail wagging unconsciously as he added another finger, stretching you wider. You closed your eyes, trying to block out his annoying voice, but your ass wiggled back against him, betraying your need for more. “Fucking hell,” you whimpered, completely undone.  

He laughed, the sound deep and rich. “Told you. After I finish with your pussy, I’ll give that ass some love too. They don’t call me the dickmaster for nothing.” His voice was maddening, but the way his fingers curled inside you made you forget how much you wanted to punch him.  

Your ears flicked back, frustration mingling with desire. If only he would shut the fuck up, you would’ve come already – twice, even.  

“Babe, you want my load that bad?” Adam cooed, his voice breathy as his cock twitched inside you. “You wanna be my cum dump?” he chuckled, fingers and cock working in perfect, relentless tandem.  

“Sh-sh-shut up,” you moaned, voice low and trembling as your walls tightened around both his cock and his fingers. You were so close, teetering on the edge. 

If he would just stop talking... 

He pulled his fingers out of your ass, leaving you gasping at the sudden emptiness. His wet fingers gripped your hips, pulling your ass up higher as he pressed his weight down on you. Then, he started to fuck you hard – exactly the way you liked it – each brutal thrust forcing you down into the bed.  

Your breath came in broken gasps, each thrust stealing the words from your lips as his cock filled you completely, forcing your slick walls to stretch for him. The bed creaked and groaned under you, matching the wet slap of skin on skin, the rhythmic pounding filled the room. Your stomach clenched, thighs quivering as you squeezed your eyes shut, knowing you were about to explode.  

When his cock hit your g-spot again and again, your moan rose low and long, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave. You babbled incoherently, swearing and pleading for him to fill you.  

And he did.  

He always fucking did.  

Hot, thick spurts of cum flooded your pussy, painting your insides as the pleasure ripped through you, wave after wave. You were wrecked, ruined, and thoroughly fucked – just the way you wanted it. 

He pushed your body down, rolling you onto your back and stretching your thighs wide apart like he was prepping a canvas for his masterpiece. The thrill of being exposed sent shivers down your spine, and before you could catch your breath, his lips found your aching, sensitive clit.  

His fingers dove into your cum-soaked folds, the squelching sounds echoing in the air, making you feel like a goddamn wet sponge. You were so close to the edge of another orgasm that your muscles quivered with anticipation. Your head tilted back, pressing against the bed, and you gasped as warmth flooded out of you, mingling with Adam’s thick, syrupy load.  

“OH FUCK, FUCK!” you cried out, fingers curling tightly against the bedsheets, heels digging into the mattress like you were trying to anchor yourself to sanity. His mouth continued to suck at your oversensitive bud, relentless and teasing, even as you drenched him with your essence.  

You peeked open your eyes to find him grinning like a kid in a candy store, his face glistening with your juices, and it sent a fresh wave of heat rushing to your core. The feeling of him latching onto you was intoxicating, pushing you to new heights as your walls pulsated around his fingers, unable to tell whether this was yet another orgasm or simply an extension of the last.  

“ADAM!” you screamed, practically sobbing as your body jolted and convulsed under his ministrations. Pleasure poured over you, and your breath came in heavy gasps, your mind slipping into a blissful haze. His fingers curled perfectly inside you, mashing your g-spot like he was playing some twisted game of whack a mole, keeping you suspended in a state of everlasting pleasure.  

The last thing you registered before the world faded away was Adam moaning your name, his voice vibrating through your very core like a damn choir.  

When you fluttered your eyes open again, your body was still bare and sprawled out like a starfish on the bed. You heard that familiar sound of suckling, and looking down, you couldn’t help but groan at the sight – his familiar mop of brown hair nestled between your thighs, still focused on drinking you up like a man starved for 40 days and 40 nights. 

Pleasure washed over you in soft, slow strokes as Adam continued to eat you out. “How long have you been down there?” you asked, voice hoarse from all the screaming and moaning.  

His head popped up, lips and chin glistening with your arousal. “Dunno, but they do call me the ultimate pussy eater,” he said with a cheeky grin, like he was the fucking king of the world.  

You dropped your head back against the bed, trying to stifle a laugh. “No, they don’t,” you muttered, breath hitching as his tongue parted your slick folds again. “Fuck, we can’t keep doing this,” you whined, instinctively opening your thighs wider to give him better access.  

His fingers gripped your hips, anchoring you as his tongue burrowed deeper into your pussy, pressing against your inner walls, exploring every inch like he was on some treasure hunt.  

Naturally, he didn’t listen to your protests. He continued to slurp and lick, devouring you like a feast, and you should have stopped him.  

You really should have.  

But as a jolt of pleasure shot up your spine, tingling all the way to your core, a soft, breathy moan escaped your lips.  

Fuck, this was bad. You had come to the hotel knowing you had little self-control around him, and at this rate, you were destined to fuck him every day.  

Your body, soft and pliant, refused to budge; instead, you pushed your hips deeper into his mouth. “Fuck you,” you murmured weakly, as he coaxed another sultry moan from your lips. “This will be the last fucking time, I swear,” you insisted, squeezing your eyes shut as he pushed you closer to the edge of pleasure.  

But deep down, you knew you had said it was the last time so many fucking times that you’d lost count of your own vows.  

You hated him, yes.  

But fuck him and fuck yourself. 

You didn’t hate this. 

Follow #vexitober 2024 to read my questionable kink/fluff stories!

[h50europe]

So, this happened overnight on my AO3 account for my Buck/Tommy plot. Mornings are for lovers, and I had a blast reading it. So somewhere went out on a limp and left me these notes full of verbal diarrhea.

What I take from it is that Buck has no right of a life on his own. If Eddie's life is in shambles, Buck has to suffer along with him. He has no right to have a happy life with Tommy. He has no right to have sex with Tommy; hell, he shouldn't even have had dinner with Tommy after what happened at Eddie's.

I get it, tin hats, I get it. And there is even a name for it!

These comments only confirm what we know. Bi-Buck is okay as long as he is Bi with Eddie. Bi with Tommy is bad. Het with women is also not okay. Nothing is okay if it is not with Eddie.

I don't know if I should be amused about using Christopher as a cock blocker argument. Hm...

And Tommy is nothing but a plot device for them. Wow, I didn't even know there was a 9-1-1 leaker. I hope they leak, not just BS others.

You know, I truly enjoy being a weirdo if I can be happy for a fictional character to come out after six seasons full of hints about his bisexuality with someone other than his ride-or-die who's currently in an awful mental place (like the Tin Hat followers).

But I refuse to wrap my hat in tin foil concerning "Buddie." I am a multishipper. In Tommy's voice, "You know, you can have more than one ship?"

Why don't they just drop it? Lashing out, pissing in other fans' sandboxes, bullying an actor and his family (until his sister made her IG account private) and fans, taking cameos and recycling them out of context... What's their point? They have none. They just are loud and annoying AF.

I know. I said in another post not to share their toxicity, but... With this post, I kindly asked the sane part of this fandom, don't let yourself be bullied into oblivion. Don't let your voice be drowned out, and for heaven's sake, don't let them take away the fun we have by creating all the wonderful fan art, stories, videos etc. and by sharing our thoughts. Yes, we have to deal with them, as they don't go away.

But they are a minority, only awfully loud, as usual. Those people will never establish themselves in any fandom. And they are cowards because they always come in groups. Even if they have to create sock puppets to make it look like they are many. Echo-chambers can get very lonely and very boring.

I LOVE ALL MY FELLOW TEVAN (or multi)shippers to bits. You have great taste and great empathy, and you show what an awesome supporter of the queer community you are!!!

And for the haters:

[grimgrinningghost456]

✨Random headcanons that popped into my head, Hazbin hotel edition✨: Part 2 Electric Boogaloo

So today I decided to do the Eden trio and perhaps either Lute or Michael. I’ll decide for which angel when I get to the last person. Anyways, here we go!

Starting off with the literal man, the myth, the legend, the dick-master himself, Adam.

Adam🌿🍎🎸🪽: So Adam bounces around as far as roles go for me. I enjoy the idea of past Adamsapple/Guitarduck for an extra spot of angst. I kinda have Adam with the same loud and lewd attitude by the time he’s the head of Heavens army, but I gave him a little extra oomph. I headcanon that Adam has some ADHD and can’t sit still for two seconds and also can’t stop talking either. (Lucifer found it adorable when he and Adam first met) Lucifer was Adam’s pansexual awakening. While sometimes i feel like legit villain Adam is a toxic straight kinda guy, my take of a more morally grey burnt out Adam who fakes it till he makes it as a literal dick master. If it f*cks and it’s not somewhat morally ambiguous as far as what kinda creature it is, (demons, angels, (monsters?)) he probably has, will have, and will continue to have said person or creature race in his bed. He’s not really picky. He was actually in a polycule with Eve, Lilith, and Lucifer before shit hit the fan. It was nice but there were times where someone would fight the other to get a partner’s attention (mostly occurred between the humans trying to get Luci to pay attention to their little creative projects) Adam is a bear. You’ve seen my post, said post is true for my depiction of Adam and I’ll die on that hill. Usually he calls Lucifer as Helel, which was Lucifer’s name before the fall. The reason why he continues to call Lucifer by his original name bounces between, disrespect, spite, nostalgia, respect, (yes, he bounces between respecting and not respecting Luci) hatred, and love. It’s very confusing and Adam doesn’t wanna think about it. Sinner!Adam in my take is a goat-like sinner, but has some snake attributes such as a forked tongue, scales, and more personal additions I’ll let you freaks imagine. He is a little self conscious of the weight he gained over the millennia, but he gained the weight from the stress of hiding the exterminations. The older he gets the less he cares. Adam was actually allergic apples and pork when he was alive. It was an unsaid punishment after Eden. Now that he’s dead he can indulge and he DOES. I’ll end this with saying Adam either doesn’t know how, or physically can’t tuck his wings. So he has to apply deodorant onto them where they support his armpits or his wings reek. Especially after rock performances.

Now going onto technically the next two, the mother of earth, the root of all evil, Eve. (For this one, any headcanons and details on Eve will be green, her manifestation as Roo will be red. Please ignore the Christmas vibes :) )

Eve🌿🍎🌸🌼/Roo🍎🥀🔪🖤: So with Eve, I see her as a very shy woman. She still loves Lucifer, having been infatuated enough with the man to bite the apple. She has resentment towards Adam for sending Luci and Lilith to Hell, and she does have guilt for being the replacement for the first woman of humanity, so she sought Lucifer and Lilith out and became involved. Adam was involved as well before he felt betrayed. She loves to plant and actually has a good talent for making medicine from herbs while Adam took to hunting easily. This connection does bleed into the idea of hunters and gatherers for early existing humans. Eve is allergic to be stings after being kicked out from Eden. She could never really hate Adam but does hate the turn he’s taken personality wise. Roo absolutely hates Adam. She’s not a split personality of Eve so much as she’s the corruption that took over. She was always there in the back of eves mind, but their personalities and thoughts merged after Death. She still has an infatuation concerning Lucifer but it gets into the concerning side of things after rotting in hell. Potentially Charlie’s biological sire, not Lilith. She resents Lilith for her active role as Queen and movements against Heaven, resents Lucifer a tad for not making her his Queen, and hates Adam for blaming the apple thing on her. She proceeded to try to force feed him an apple so he’d go into epileptic shock. There was mixed results.

Ok, moving onto the Queen of hell and Lucifer’s top, Lilith Morningstar!

Lilith🍎🐍🐐🌙: Lilith never really hated Adam but the man would never let her top. Lucifer let her top all the time so that’s a plus right off the bat. I bounce between Lilith being an evil bitch who left Lucifer and Charlie, purposefully driving a wedge into a family, Lilith being head over heels for Luci and leaving to protect her family and hell from Adam and his girls, and being a sort-of friend with Luci who understands their love died long ago, but sees no point in having beef. And we have the version with radioapple in progress when she gets back. I do have the idea that Lilith has Alastor’s soul, so whether she has a positive or negative reaction to Al dating or being married to or screwing Luci, shit hits the fan regardless. Lilith is cold and calculating when she needs to be as well as promiscuous. She and Luci typically have an open relationships in the plots in which they’re still married but has a multiship going. Any version of an open relationship with Luci and Lilith is healthy and supportive in my book. She is actually Charlie’s dad (or is she?) on technicality. Luci carried Charlie. No matter what role Lilith is when she gets back to hell (villain, anti heroine, good guy, morally grey guy) she always wants to drag Luci to bed. Because she hasn’t seen her bottom in 7 years. Deer doesn’t appreciate this. (Luci may or may not appreciate it)

Anyways that’s all I got, I’m going to add an angel to this post but you can decide who

As always questions, comments, and thoughts are appreciated. I love discussions and debates as long as we’re polite and respectful of each others opinions!

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Lucifer holding up a piece of paper: Adam! Help me finish my check list!

Adam sighed: You have a check list? So do I.

Lucifers eyes widened as a long golden parchment appeared with a list of his brother’s name on it. He squints his eyes, especially as he found Michael’s name more than just ticked off but there was fucking hearts around it. Slowly his eyes lowers and he begins to read the names, he was searching for his own name!

Until he reached the end…

Lucifer shooting to his feet and slamming his hands on the meeting table: Why the fuck is my name crossed off!

Adam huffed and snaps his fingers, the parchment disappears: Because you’re nasty ~

Lucifer: The fuck does that mean!

Adam: You fucked both Lilith AND Eve. It makes me wonder how mentally sane you are to have put your dick in fucking crazy. There for I’m worried you’ll pass it on to me.

Lucifers mouth opening and shutting: That makes no sense! I didn’t even know how fucked unpin the head they were at the time!

Adam: You fucked them both and then fell. How do I not know the craziness amiably just an infection passed through you lot?

Lucifer: Because it’s not!

Adam waves a hand dismissive: I’m not willing to chance it. So let’s move on.

Lucifer reluctantly agrees and the meeting between heaven and hell progresses. But he couldn’t let it go and in the middle of an important conversation, he leans towards Adam and whispers harshly.

Lucifer: Why is Michael’s name different to everyone else’s?

Adam shrugging uncaring: He was the best fuck I’ve ever had. Nobodies been able to beat it.

Lucifer soured: Only because you haven’t had the real best fuck yet.

Adam: Not happening

Lucifer: Why is his name highlighted and surrounded by hearts?

Adam snorting: you think we only fucked the once? Oh no. He rocked my world several times now.

Lucifer gasped: Several?

Adam: or more

Lucifer: You fucked Michael repeatedly but won’t fuck me once? That’s discrimination you know

Adam blinking in surprise: the fuck? No it isn’t

Lucifer: yes it is. You’re being hell racist too

Adam: the fuck is that ?

Lucifer staring intensively into Adam eyes: You won’t fuck me because I’m a fallen Angel. Because I’m apart of hell. The sounds petty discriminative and racist to me

Adam: no it doesn’t

Lucifer: yes it is. I should go to HR

Adam: HR? Who the fuck would be HR

Lucifer shrugs: i am Gods favourite for a reason. Even now I’m still his favourite. I’m sure he’ll side with me

Adam staring at him in disbelief. Lucifer looks so confident too.

Adam shaking his head: You’re fucking mental. I’m never going to sleep with you

Lucifer: see, now you’re bullying me. This is a toxic working environment! You better apologises and make it up to me before I get HR involved!

Adam finally getting fed up with his bullshit: what the fuck do you even want?

Lucifer throwing his arms up: I want to fuck you!

Sera covers her face as the two continue to bicker and fight. Adam still refusing and Lucifer becoming more enraged but also trying to manipulate him.

Sera: What is this?

Lucifer would eventually wear him down and Adam would give in. He'd also see that Lucifer was better

Lucifer: Sooooo?

Adam: Shut up.

Lucifer: *Smug AF*

[the-broken-pen]

Masterlist

Villain, Hero, Sidekick, etc.

Teleporting villain hurt/no comfort

Hero/Villain hurt/comfort mlm

Winged Hero x Villain

Chef Villain and Hero

Hero x Villain Caretaker

Cat Villain and Stressed af Protag (Cat Villain part two)

Interrogation Meet Cute

Hero and Villain rescue civilian

Toxic Hero x Villain

Sapphic detective x girlfriend

Russian Villain x Hero with a Crush

Cat villain x Henchman who loves cats (part two)

Actor Hero x Flirty Actor Villain (mild horny jail)

Supervillain dad x son hero

Grieving hero x villain

Flirty Villain x Hero

Self Destructive Hero x Caretaker Villain

Protagonist x Mentor Villain

Immortal hero x immortal villain

Heaven and Hell

Poisoning part 2

Don’t hang up

Protect me

In my neighborhood bodega????

Gorgeous

Nothing more than dreams

“Please”

“Don’t Die”

Interrogation

Stars

Stolen Powers

Vampire Bait

Hero/villain forbidden

Hostage Situation

Valentine’s Day

I Made You

Drunk Hero

Enemies to….flirting?

Mask

You’re family

In Shock

Stop Letting Them Break You

Best Friends Forever

Deal

Vampire Thrall

Statues

You Weren’t Supposed to Poison Me Poison Part 2.

Map of Fae

Map of Fae pt. 2

What Would You Give

Magic Scars

Trapped Hero

Trapped Hero pt. 2

Savior

Escape

Origin Story

Bruises

She Wouldn’t Want This

Confession

Other Stuff

Truth Hurts

Zombie apocalypse

You ruined me

Thieves

Midnight

Nothing without me

Beware the Ides

New Gods

Bridge Troll

WIP: Edge of Truth Snippets

Glorious

Poetry

Stay

[forest-sh]

Good Omens Theories - I wrote this instead of sleeping, excuse my rambling

Starter theories i wrote before "analyzing" anything:

Somethings in the coffee

might be fighting whatever "it" is

The Metatron and Crowley have ISSUES together, personally as a headcanon and not a theory, i think it was most likely that Metatron was the one that damned all the demons into, well, damnation. what i mean is that he was there and all that.

35:32 - as someone previously pointed out, he changed his speech to appear more like aziraphales.

aziraphale is sure of what he wants (to stay out of heaven and stay on earth) and through out the ep that changes quickly. suspicious.

as someone else pointed out, he changed his description of the almond syrup in the coffee. After further research, i found almonds symbolizes the purity of the Virgin and the birth of jesus in Christianity. Which might mean, that what the tumblr posts are saying is true and he maybe coming in s3. Some depictions of divine favor and approval, and divine guiding were also shown but appeared less often than the first. That "I should jolly well hope so" comment from Metatron does add some suspicion to the coffee as well. In another context, an almond (although its the tree here not the fruit) is also a shown as a message of god watching.

39:37-39:56 - THATS SUSPICIOUS AF- That whole interaction was suspicious as hell,

rn aziraphale looks like me when I'm trying to flee from a conversation from one of my teachers (aka one of my superiors someone i have too respect immediately without question and try not to get in trouble with(unless they have given me reason not to of course)) just agreeing with everything their saying to get out of the conversation faster.

"Well then, go and tell your friend the good news." aziraphale here looks nervous, as he's walking off he thinks for a moment, i think his face is showing a (what the fuck is happening rn) kinda vibe. and afterwards his whole demeaner is (lets get this over with.) WHY THOUGH. if he's nervous which obviously he is, he's gonna ask a pretty big question here not knowing if Crowley is gonna say yes or not, BUT HE DOESNT LOOK HAPPY/EXCITED NERVOUS. he looks like accepted his fate/i know this gonna go badly nervous.

40:52 -

LMAO aziraphale is like NOWS NOT THE TIME CROWLEY looks over to the window NOWS NOT THE FUCKING TIME. to me this implies that he knows Metatron is looking and that he is warry of him, WHY ARE YOU WARRY OF HIM, HUH AZIRAPHALE?? HMM??? THIS IS SOMEONE WHO YOU TOTALLY 100% AGREE WITH HIS STUPID PLAN WHY ARE YOU WARRY?? i don't know why, just that he shouldn't be if he actually believes the shit he was spouting, I'm not that smart-

42:03 - LOL LOOK AT AZIRAPHALE dudes like (What the fuck are you saying right now-)

43:12 - that giggle was hysteric almost.

OH GOD that "not at all" has been BUGGING ME and i don't know why! he says it through clenched teeth like he's lying or is OH! LIKE HES TRYING NOT TO SAY IT!! like something is coursing him into saying it but he's trying not to, and that smile slipping as Crowley gets angry HURTS ME, but the smile is almost awkward like he's trying to keep it in place but he doesn't want it too.

I feel like when Crowley starts talking here ("confessing") aziraphale continues looking at the window and is giving a "oh please don't do this now Crowley NOT right now" look

why am i starting to think that metatron is controlling aziraphale.. why am i getting that feeling-

NOW IK WHY im paying attention to aziraphales expressions and half way through crowleys confession he SQUINTS at him HATEFULLY

oh nvm hes just confused- WHEN I TELL YOU I DID A DOUBLE TAKE-

"We don't need Heaven, we don't need Hell, they're toxic. We need to get away from them" AZIRAPHALE WDYM= WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO TO THIS STATEMANT, OH EXCUSE ME THIS FACT, THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW= WHAT YOU SHAKING YOUR HEAD FOR

have i pointed out the smile? ITS JUST SO FAKE- LIKE COME ON HES NEVER and i mean EVER SMILED LIKE THAT also should i point out that he's smiling but also looks like he's going to cry.

That "No. No, I don't suppose it does" HURT ME, like its what he should've said slay queen but still- he looks so HEARTBROKEN

"Good luck? Crowley! Crowley" BISH WHY ARE YOU SAYING Crowley! LIKE YOU GUYS ARE ARGUING ABOUT WHALES OR SOMETHING?? THIS IS SERIOUS! dudes acting like their having one of there little bickering fights and Crowley's being difficult.

" Anything you need to take with you? " pretty sure aziraphale wanted to take his diary with him, you know just incase what happened with Gabriel happened to him too, seems only logical. (he had a diary with him right- that wasn't a fanfic i read, RIGHT??)

Final Theories

The Metatron is somehow controlling/affecting aziraphales actions and aziraphales fighting it.

theory number two is the most obvious theory, and the one where every single observation points towards it. Aziraphale GENUINELY thinks he can outsmart the Metatron by being in heaven and fixing it from the inside, for whatever reason (probably because he thinks his days are numbered if he stays on earth, it took only a few years for heaven to bother them again and the result was that he was almost erased from EXISTENCE) he wants to be up there in heaven not because he WANTS too but because he has too. through out the final 15 i think he was trying to signal to crowley his plan and Crowley didn't know he WAS throwing any signals. dude was genuinely confused af when crowley started confessing. The miscommunication tag is at it again folks.

[call-sign-shark]

Shark!! I have questions 🦈.

If not Arthur, let's say an AU where Arthur doesn't exist, do you think Heaven could fall in love with John or Thomas? (Or Ada, why not!)

I love the chemistry between Heaven and John, but I feel they're like siblings . Although John is a flirty, sassy man and he's hot af 😂.

On the other hand, Thomas... Their rivalry. Enemies (fierce enemies) to lovers? Tommy knows how to seduce a woman. And he's really smart.

And Ada... Well. Queen Ada 👑. Nothing to add here.

Wow Flor, this is such a clever question!! Thank you so much for asking this, you really made my brain go brrrrrr 😁💚 The short answer is: She could have fallen for both of them depending on the context.

✞ If John had not been married she would have gone for him, I guess. As you said, he's flirty, sassy, hot, and caring. Heaven needs someone who's not afraid to lavish her with tenderness. Moreover, they already share a deep and unique bond in the story. Some feel ambiguity about whether John has a little crush or not -- and it's up to readers to decide if they have a sibling platonic relationship or if John does feel a little innocent something for her. But I feel like it would not have been a long-term relationship. More like an intense fling that would have ended up in a strong friendship.

✞ Regarding Tommy... You know, a lovely reader on AO3 wondered if part of Tommy's hatred towards her could come from jealousy and attraction -- once again, I prefer readers to imagine what they want. The most logical choice for the canon story with John being married would be Thomas and Heaven falling in love in a very slow burn revolving around the enemies-to-lovers trope. At first, he would have only used her for her powers and for sex before falling for her first and trying to seduce her. That being said, their relationship would be toxic: they would always fight then fuck, then threaten to murder each other, but keep coming back to each other for comfort. Also, Tommy's tendency to sleep around would really make her suffer. At one point in the story, Heaven would have slept with Jack Nelson to hurt her husband, which could have resulted in a twisted love corner.

Isn't it hilarious to think that, in a parallel universe, there is a 100% angst series called "After You, Hell Should be Easy" featuring Thomas x Heaven in an enemies-to-lovers trope?

As for Ada, I don't think so: they are too different. The truth is, Heaven would have 100% fallen for May Carleton, and they would be the happiest and most healthy little couple of all the Peaky Blinders universe. 😂

Congratulations, Arthur is sulking now and mumbling "yeah, very fun Flor eh, but don't forget she's me fucking wife"

✞ For those wondering, Heaven is “you” in Heaven in Your Eyes, an Arthur x Reader!OC ongoing series. Check out the Masterlist

[just-here-for-the-art-shit]

FINALLY watched Good Omens 2

(Spoilers for the ending)

I actually liked the ending - probably because I love for angst. Like if that was THE END of the show entirely, I would be upset, but I know it's going to continue and that sets up ONE HELL OF A STORY HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT!!!

I feel so bad for Crowley, but I'm not mad at Aziraphale because I don't think he gets it. Like Nina and Maggie said, they never "talk." He doesn't understand that basically what he just said was, "I don't love you for you, I love you because I think I can change you." He basically told Crowley he's something broken that needs to be fixed, but knowing Aziraphale I don't think he actually understands that is what he was saying. Like Crowley says, "I think I understand it way more than you do."

Crowley needs a hug. Lots of hugs.

The funniest shit to me was that of all angels and demons, you have GABRIEL and BEELZEBUB who only take three years to realize, "Hey. Heaven and Hell are toxic af. I love you for who you are. Let's just go off and do our own thing." They weren't trying to change anything about each other, just completely accepting of who the other is in the first place. They changed together, and not forcefully.

[nightguide]

MASKED BANDIT

KEANU REEVES NIGGAS

NEW GIRL IN AMERICA WICCAS

FASHION DESIGNER JAMAICANS

NED

STANLEY TUCCI NIGGAS

DREAM GIRL WICCAS

PAKI ISLAND JAMAICANS

CHUCK

*BABY BEST FRIEND* NIGGAS

CUTEST BABY ALIVE WICCAS

JEFF BUCKLEY JAMAICANS

EMERSON COD

DAVID TENNANT NIGGAS

ANYTHING YOUR WIFE SAYS, GOES WICCAS

DOCTOR WHO JAMAICANS

OLIVE SNOOK

WIFE ME BABY NIGGAS

SHUTTHEFUCKUPANDOIT WICCAS

LINNA'S BEST CASE SCENARIO JAMAICANS

LITTLE MIX

BITCH, I TOLD YOU TO STOP SMOKING NIGGAS

MY DAD DIED WICCAS

END TIMES JAMAICANS

11TH DOCTOR

MATT SMITH IN THE CROWN NIGGAS

ROYAL FAMILY WICCAS

BEAUTIFUL THINGS ARE NOT HAPPENING TO ME JAMAICANS

99TH DOCTOR

IM ALWAYS RIGHT NIGGAS

PISSED OFF AT THE LITTLE BROTHER INFINITY WICCAS

ROYAL FAMILY, MY ASS JAMAICANS

GIRLS ALOUD

*IS DEAD* NIGGAS

I HATE YOU WICCAS

ALIVE AT A HUMBLE THOUGHT JAMAICANS

LINNA RIAZ

IM EVIL AND YOU LIKE ME NIGGAS

BITCH IM BETTER THAN YOU WICCAS

MY MOM IS A WHORE AND SHE HATES ME JAMAICANS

15TH DOCTOR

PETER PAN NIGGAS

I HATE MYSELF BUT THE GIRL AT THE RIGHT IS EATING MY PUSSY FOR FREE WICCAS

IM GAY JAMAICANS

DEMI LOVATO

BE YOURSELF BITCHES IM PANDAHETERONORMALNEONLIGHTSNIGGAS

BE ME WICCAS

DAMN..... WHY DID I LET THAT HAPPEN... JAMAICANS

ANSON SEABRA

IM DUMB AS FCK *RETARD FACE* NIGGAS

*CRIES IN THEIR SLEEP ABOUT THE DREAM BITCH WHORE ASS FUCK TAKING ALL THEIR FAVES TO HEAVEN-LEHEM* WICCAS

MY MOM IS ACTUALLY A MILLIONAIRE BUT KEANU REEVES IS LORD AND JESUS ALMIGHTY JAMAICANS

SELENA GOMEZ

GO KILL YOURSELVES BUT ME ALWAYS FIRST BUT I'LL KILL YOU TO BE YOU BUT I WILL END THE WORLD CUZ IM TOXIC AF NIGGAS

PERSONALITY DATABASE WICCAS

IM ACTUALLY GAY AS HELL BUT IN REALITY, IM AN ANGEL JAMAICANS

[bluberryfields]

Aziraphale: I need you!

That tone of desperation cut through me like a knife. Then those microexpressions then ripped the rest of my heart to shreds.

He's terrified of losing Crowley, both in general and at the precipice of what awaits him in Heaven.

Who will protect him from Michael and Uriel and all the other assholes?

Who will fight for him?

Who will support him?

Certainly not The Metatron, for all his manipulative words.

Oh Aziraphale, you sweet precious baby angel.

Michael Sheen is just incredible.

[rael-rider]

What are your favorite jojo characters, as well as Joestars and villains? Also favorite part?

Ooooh a JJBA question

Hard to say who is my favorite Joestar because it changes. When I started seriously getting into JJBA it was Joseph, then it was Johnny (he was a bastard but his story hit me hard), right now it's Jolyne (so much I dished out money to get the Stone Ocean Tuk Ang shop embroidered hoodie that's only sold in Japan). I love her resilience, her will, character development, relationships, her willingness to sacrifice herself for her loved ones, and to me she's the Joestar I vibe with the most. Her story is sad and her ending is so bittersweet. She

I've also been reading a lot of Gothic Horror and I've found myself analyzing the hell out of Phantom Blood so I've been having so much love for Jonathan (whom I also started appreciating more after reading the PB manga and he's pretty underrated IMO), and find myself wishing there was a Phantom Blood remake that had the same care to it placed that the latter JJBA parts were given.

Josuke, Giorno, Jotaro, and Gappy are OK too but I haven't felt that strongly for them as I have with Jolyne, Joseph, Johnny, and Jonathan. I also think Jotaro makes a better supporting/mentor character than MC or maybe I'm saying this because I loved both part 4 and Part 6 adult Jotaros more than I did the teenage MC cool Jotaro with a chip on his shoulder.

Also there's going to be a PB musical so there's that to look forward to.

As for villains, it's Dio. He might not be the deepest or most relatable character, but to me he's the most fun and entertaining, and as much as I like heroic characters to be more human, I do love when villains are straight up unhinged fun assholes. That said I am not a Dio apologist and I think he's irredeemable but I love him that way. The only stuff he didn't deserve is the abuse he got when he was a kid, specifically the abuse he got from his shit father (I totally get why he poisoned and murdered him too). But everything that happened to him as a result of him being a dick, he got what was coming to him.

I'm also a sucker for vampires and Dio is fun to draw

(but also frustrating because I can never get his hair right in a satisfying way, I don't know if I'll redo it here).

His relationship with Jonathan is also the most interesting protag and villain relationship in the whole series and I guess because of how personal it is. Yeah it's toxic AF relationship built on hate due to Dio being the worst person. Yet they also had a soft spot for each other because of those seven years that they spent together (and it's more evident in the manga when you piece some scenes together) and I think it's so tragic how it ends. Mostly because Jonathan didn't deserve his fate (and then you see Johnny's fate, it's even more messed up but that requires it's own discussion) and what happens after his death is horrifying.

Other than Dio I liked Pucci and his whole journey in Stone Ocean. How the whole thing that went down with Perla and Weather affected him and the fact that Pucci, in contrast to Dio, is a very righteous person who thinks his path is the correct one and ultimately thinks he's helping everyone in the long run. All because of his own personal trauma. His relationship with Dio is also interesting because of how different they are and I also wish we could've seen it from Dio's POV (because I really think Dio was sincere about their friendship as much as he could be with anyone but Dio is also pretty self-serving and seductive and he needed a friend in order for his Heaven Plan to work so I can't help but think there was some grooming on Dio's part), the power dynamics in the relationship certainly weren't equal that's for sure.

I also think Pucci's Heaven Plan ended up being entirely his own thing rather than what Dio wanted. But that's just me. Pucci wanted people to know their fate so they could make peace with it and that stems from his trauma with Perla. I think Dio more than anything wanted to control fate so it would be in his favor.

Man I really loved Stone Ocean, It might be my favorite part with Steel Ball Run a close second (because I love Johnny, Gyro, Hot Pants, and Diego).

I am also keeping up with Part 9, it's interesting so far.

[sad-yehaw]

To be honest, the whole coffee thing was weird af. It seemed to me, like he didn’t even want to take it at first but old habits die hard and he still has a lot of obedience for heaven authorities. Which I hope he realizes in season 3 (and yes it will happen. Period.) that they are indeed toxic and bad. Or at least… god herself might not be to that extent. But then again the whole bet with Satan. Eh dunno..

I think we all can agree that heaven AND hell are equally bad and it’s up to Aziraphale to get out of that cult-ish mindset heaven good/hell bad. Which sadly was still very much present not just at the end of s1 but throughout s2 as well.

What strikes me as interesting about the whole coffee theory thing is that if we look at that Crowley bit with laudanum we never saw anyone from hell/heaven drink poison. At least I think so if I remember correctly. Why would that be in there? Why not just throw it out? Not like Crowley wouldn’t be able to do that size change talk on his own, or some other Crowley way. Seems like a Chekhov’s gun to me alright. And now, if I could theorize some more, what if different poisons could have different effects? I know, shocking. But if laudanum could act as some sort of relaxant, what if other types could have other effects on beings of hell and heaven?

Now Metatron might’ve or might’ve not known if Aziraphale likes coffee. But what I noticed was that when he was ordering it, he said “a dash of almond syrup” immediately followed up by question if people ask for death. Goes to Aziraphale and just when he starts saying that he made his position quite clear, Metatron brings up the coffee. With a hefty jigger of almond syrup. Now it might be that Nina just made the coffee wrong but tbh I don’t think that’s the case and frankly I believe she is a great barista. Not to mention that Metatron would have to try the coffee himself and I really don’t think that’s likely. And why would you otherwise mention something as mundane as ingredients in your latte, twice? Why the change of amount of almond?

CYANIDE

Extremely toxic cyanide, with an aroma of almonds and some bitterness. With breathing heart and brain being the most susceptible to damage. Laudanum on the other is an opioid so you get pretty different results with these.

Now take Aziraphale: he probably doesn’t drink coffee much or even at all, so his taste for coffee is slim to none. And at least to me, coffee tastes much more bitter than tea, even if you don’t put any sugar in it. Add oat milk which is gonna taste pretty different from the regular one AND almond syrup… I think you might actually be able to hide some cyanide in it for an angel to drink. Not that he drank a lot. Unlike Crowley who drowned a whole glass, Aziraphale probably had just a few sips, not in any way the amount Crowley consumed, so it probably wouldn’t make that drastic change to the outside world. Add some heaven guilt tripping… and you might have the recipe for season 2 finale.

The problem with toxic relationships is that even rationally you know that they are bad, deep down you still hold that hope for a change. Something to make it all better again. Because sometimes it wasn’t so bad was it? They might change if you try hard enough this time. But it never happens and you end up miserable again. But that’s the point where you get to see them as they really are, and find the strength in you to say no for the last time.

And be happy.

Either way it’s pretty damn weird that Aziraphale would abandon his books, his beloved cherished books like that. Especially when we explicitly get their ineffable husbands bickering about the bookshop and Bentley. Something smells here and it might as well be almonds.

So I know us delusional girlies have been theorising Metatron tampered with the coffee. However, what really jumped out at me is that Aziraphale took it? Have we ever seen him drink coffee? It is always tea or hot chocolate, and he didn't drink it until Metatron told him to. Some food for thought?

[all-about-seggs]

If Jujutsu kaisen were to have typical shojo manga troupes/ Cliches-

Warnings- Headcanons about what kind of story would the JJK folks be in if they were in a shojo manga. Shitposting basically. Ngl this is not my best but they've been sitting in the drafts for so long, so i decided to just post them.

______________________________________

Gojo Satoru - Lets say hes not the clan head yet, so its a Contract marriage for him, ya'know the higher ups from his family won't leave him alone, saying he should settle down and though he ignores it at first it gets to a point where he can't get anything done without having his family interfere so he offers an unsuspecting relatively 'normal' girl aka you a tantalizing offer.

It'd start of with that Love- hate relationship with you bc of his inherent personality defects. You had your own reasons to accept his demands bc uhhhhh *insert any reason that works for you pls*

You thought he doesn't take anything seriously until you saw him teaching his students. His methods are far from conventional but it was the most genuine you'd ever seen him be. That was probably a turning point in your previously distorted relationship.

You'd live together, but in seperate rooms. His acting skills during the whole ceremony+ any family visits are top notch tho.

The type who'd annoy you the most but will also secretly help you from behind the shadows without you even knowing.

A little side note. He is the one who falls for you FIRST. But will think up of a way to manipulate you into confessing first and then would never let you live it down, how you were "SO MADLY IN LOVE WITH HIM" or so he says. Pls woop his ass.

Geto Suguru- If we're taking about Geto before going rouge then its, The bodyguard and the threatened girl. It's pretty simple how you two met. He had a mission to help you survive and you fell for his *charms* or his sexy man bun you can choose🤷

Villan! Geto- Since he started as a good guy I'd say his story would be one of those where you'll end up chasing after him even after your contract ended bc you could see the internal conflict he was going through during his teen/ highschool years.

He wouldn't push you away tho. He wants to take you to hell with him if his heaven doesn't come before.

Gonna be toxic af tho. Gaslighting champ will make you his trophy wife and no one will ever know your whereabouts.

Kamo Noritoshi- The rich nobility and the commoner. Let's throw in a little bit of debt on y/n as well shall we.

So, at first he doesn't even spare you a glance but after realizing how your home condition was not something to be taken lightly he felt an odd connection to you, and remembering his mothers words to always help people out he gave you a place to stay and work....in his own mansion, commence the awkward but sweet mutual understanding and pinning between you two.

Aoi Toudo - Bullied girl and the Savior. For the sake of this cliche let's say y/n is a 'big' girl okay (big in what way? you can decide that for yourself reader) so you get bullied for your size/ weight/ stature in general.

One look at your ass and he's already hooked, so he trails after you and eventually sees you getting harrassed by a group of girls and guys.

He was so angry, all the veins of his mascular forearms bulged as he clenched his fists to stop himself from flinging the entire mob of bullies out of the damn window.

He may have held himself back for the sake of not frightening you any further but the intimidating scowl and cusses he threw was enough to make your bullies flee like tiny little flies.

From that day onwards you got yourself a fan and a bodyguard combined. Or maybe even more?

Toge Inumaki- A case of mistaken identity. This may come off as a bad attempt at humor but weirdly enough , Toge was wearing a skirt (maybe he Gojo lured him into doing it or maybe just for funsies) and since he's not able to talk normally either so being the pretty boy he is, you end up mistaking him as a girl.

The second time you met, you saw him enter the mens washroom and you just🧍stood there processing why?

The third time? You had to change cloths and it was crowded everywhere so you just chose an empty class room which was not exactly empty since toge was there. But since you thought he was a she, you just quickly shit the door and off goes the t shirt.

Poor Toge was so confused and flustered, he couldn't speak nor could he look up after getting a peek at your bra. If he wasn't such a gentleman he'd think you were trying to seduce him.

So what happens when you do find out that hes actually a guy?

Cue the mutual blushing and struggling to communicate.

[irisviel101]

I rewatched a few episodes of Inazuma Eleven last week, there was definitely way more trauma and dark stuff in the show than I realized before.

Off the top of my head, we have:

Season One:

Raimon getting annihilated by Teikoku (that's so common in the show though, so does this even count? I feel like it should)

Gouenji and his sister's storyline (I think that counts)

Kageyama literally trying to kill Raimon by dropping construction beans on them

Kidou seeing his teammates getting brutally injured and hospitalized by Zeus

Aki and Domon's flashback and memories of Ichinose's "death"

Zeus Jr High being encouraged to drug themselves to become inhumanly strong

You cannot convince me that Raimon was not messed up after the match with Zeus. They were literally being beaten up until near the end

Season Two:

All of season two is like one big trauma factory for these kids. This was probably the darkest season of the series.

Aliea Gakuen destroying various schools

The team getting beaten up by them under the guise of a soccer match (again and again by nearly every team)

Fubuki's backstory and his whole character arc (DID, PTSD, his insecurity of not being good enough, his self-destructive fixation on being perfect, it's also implied that he wished Atsuya was the one to live instead of him)

Gouenji being blackmailed by the aliens and his sister being threatened which is why he has to leave the team and go into hiding

Kazemaru and his extremely slow breakdown until he leaves the team

The whole Dark Emperors thing

The Aliea Gakuen kids being used by Kira in a fight they have nothing to do with

Kageyama manipulating Sakuma and Genda into destroying their bodies to mess Kidou up. The Shin Teikoku episodes were dark and scary af

Kogure's backstory of being abandoned as a kid and his behavioral and trust issues surrounding that

Rika is implied to have issues surrounding her parent's divorce (in the English dub, she mentions that her dad just straight up walked out on them)

Hiroto's story is pretty messed up as well. Kira renames him to replace his son because he looks a lot like the original Kira Hiroto, and Hiroto has clearly internalized it and devoted his woke life to make Kira happy even at the cost of himself. Then, Kira uses him and the rest of the Aliea kids to get revenge on the government for Kira Hiroto's murder, actively using Hiroto's toxic selflessness to his own advantage and manipulating him and the other kids to fight this war for him. Then, Kira forces Hiroto to release the limiter, knowing that it can cause severe and even permanent damage to these kids. There are many instances where Hiroto falters when faced with extreme violence only to end up following his father anyway because he feels like he owes it to him.

Hitomiko's coaching style is not very good either. I like that that's the point and it's used to give her cgaracter development, but one of her strategies was to remove all defense abd let Endou take dangerous shoots over and over again to show him that he needs to get better, something he could have figured out on without that too. Also, Hitomiko puts Raimon through so much without even telling them why they're fighting in the first place, which is kind of like using them in her own fight, like Kira Seijirou did with Aliea Gakuen.

Just the fact rhat these are children fighting actual terrorists

Raimon's mental health in this season was in a pretty bad state

Endou's depression period

Season Three:

Kidou's character arc with Kageyama

Fudou's backstory

Almost everything Kageyama does to Inazuma Japan and Orpheus

The Kingdom's plotline of them being blackmailed and their families basically being held hostage

Ichinose still having damage from the accident in his past

Kageyama's death

The entirety of the heaven and hell arc. Haruna was almost sacrificed and Rika was almost married off to a demon

Literally everything Garshield does in this season. Blackmailing children, human experimentation, plotting to take over the world, confining The Kingdom's real coach etc.

Daisuke's backstory with Garshield, especially when you consider that he spent forty years in hiding and had to fake his death and let his family and friends think he died for so long because of his altercation with Garshield

And these are just what I can think of at the moment. I'm pretty sure I missed a few things.

The point is, Inazuma Eleven has a lot of dark stuff in it, especially when you stop to think about the stuff the show didn't explicitly point out.