#dc comics alfred pennyworth

[greyeisacreativecolor]

I saw a post talking about how Alfred gets a pass from a lot of fans on the bad things he's done. They mention him being the one to actually enable young people to be Robins, and that he put up Jason's memorial (as if that's a bad thing), and a few other out of context elements that wouls be bad irl, but not necessarily in a world like DC.

The thing that did resonate is the treatment of his daughter Julia in recent comics. She used to be the product of an affair, and that's why she didn't have an established relationship with her father. But the current cannon as I understand it is that he abandoned his family to take care of the Waynes. This mostly stinks of lazy writing, especially since where here pretty much nothing about her mother or other family.

So, instead of villainizing Alfred, I'm going to scream into the void and hope DC does more with Julia.

[logicallyblind]

I'm sorry, we as a society do not talk about the fact that in order to maintain his playboy billionaire status Bruce Wayne had to sleep with a lot of people,, a lot, of people in order to maintain that.

And I'm not shaming him for that, get your hot girl summer brucie hell yea, but what I will say is can you imagine,,,

How hilarious it would be that when eventually Batman's identity gets revealed- it's not the reaction he was expecting.

‘‘Oh my god. Oh my god, Bruce Wayne Bruce Wayne the the bimbo Sexy billionaire boy. He is the stoic hard-ass Batman. There's no way-”that's not the reaction. The reaction is

“holy fucking shit I've slept with Batman”

Three quarters of that city and beyond is sat in front of their TVs, their radios, their phones,, I don't care. They're sitting there, agape going ‘I have slept with the Dark Knight. I have seen Gotham's Bat naked on his knees-‘

bruce wouldn’t be able to look the justice league nor his kids in the eyes for weeks after the reveal, solely due to the gossip channels or smth

[aylendoesart]

Finally got done with this bit of my Super Sons animation ✌️ based on Superman #10 by Peter Tomasi and Patrick Gleason

[freefallintothevoid]

Dick Grayson's unmatched success as a child vigilante makes a lot more sense when you remember the Court of Owls was a thing and that Dick was meant to be the next Grey Son.

There is no way that someone at Haly's Circus wasn't there keeping an eye on him while he grew up. A future weapon needs to be trained and monitored after all, and a circus, a place where weird skills are completely normal, is actually a great place to secretly train a child.

You know, just some knife tricks that translated really well into actual fighting. How to get out of restraints and pick locks while under a time limit. Death defying acrobatic stunts that coincidentally do wonders for parkouring. That sort of thing. Nothing that seems out of place for a boy growing up around circus performers to learn, but would literally any where else.

I mean, while I fully believe that most kids would want to kill the man responsible for their parents deaths, Dick was weirdly prepared to go through it. He tracked down Zucco with way more ease than any normal child should have too. He became the first child vigilante, for goodness sake. The first Robin! He only started getting formal training after he basically forced Bruce into it!

Bruce himself has no idea that this kind of competency in a child is unusual, considering he was much too blinded by the similarities between his and Dick's tragic orphanhoods.

Alfred is in a similar boat because he’s desensitized to weird children after he somehow managed to successfully raise Bruce 'The Batman' Wayne, so he doesn't clock the hyper-competency as abnormal either.

By the time the other batkids start popping up (Jason 'The Audacity' Todd, borderline-street rat with no fear) (Tim 'the greatest stalker in Gotham history' Drake, child genius, also bullied his way into becoming Robin) (Barbara 'raised by the only uncorrupt cop in gotham' Gordon) (Stephanie 'daddy issues and spite' Brown) (Duke 'Pretends he's the normal one and people believe him' Thomas) it's too late.

It would also explain how Dick got along so well with Damian out of all of them. Similar childhood with different approaches and all that. On some subconscious level, Dick recognises and resonates with the murderous ten year old assassin with strong familial ties to a secret elite assassin organization.

It isn't until after the whole Court of Owls and Grey Son reveal that suddenly Dick realises a whole lot of things about his childhood that suddenly make a lot more sense.

[sharksandjays]

Bruce is so important to me

[livsoulsecrets]

Little Dick and his chips in Batman #54

[vetenarishitposting]

Tim: Do you think Alfred is pregnant? Alfred looks pregnant.

Damian: Don't be ridiculous, Drake! First of all she has been spayed, second of all she has never had sexual intercourse.

Tim: You let her roam the manor grounds on her own, how are you so sure?

Damian: because I made sure every tom in the neighborhood knows I will defend her honour with my sword!

Jason, who has only just started to come back to the manor and does not know about Alfred the cat, overhearing this:

[incorrectbatfam]

Alfred gets sick of Bruce breaking and losing stuff on patrol so he gets a label maker and starts naming items after the kids

Alfred: I got you a new phone, just like you asked. Its name is Jason. Try not to let it die.

Bruce, tearing up: Why would you say that—

[frappegoddess]

Damian dyed Tim's hair Joker green and spray painted his suit because he called Jeremy the Turkey annoying, so as revenge Tim threatened to cook Jeremy, and left a pile of feathers and a perfectly golden brown Turkey on the counter in the kitchen. Because there's no other way to get back at your lil brother than emotionally manipulating him into thinking you tried to eat his pet.

Safe to say, Alfred and Bruce were not impressed, and the only way they got Tim to apologise to Damian was through Jason saying "Crazy you have beef with a twelve year old."

[ccccchepushilo]

I imagine alfred combed all the robins' hair in the middle section since they were kids (and they're still doing it) only damian's the only one who's been able to escape this fate

[violent138]

If I was Bruce it would drive me absolutely crazy that I couldn't complain to Alfred about my kids:

Bruce: "Alfred, you won't believe what Dick did. He's in space again! He didn't even give me a heads up or--"

Alfred, drinking tea: "The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree--"

"Alfred--"

"I suppose it'll be twelve long years before we see him, no messages, not even a postcard."

Or

"Alfred, I think Jason's sick. Tell Leslie to tell him to take a night off."

"A night off you say, Master Bruce?"

"Don't start."

Or

"Alfred, why the hell is there a tank in the backyard?"

"I tried telling them not to Master Bruce, but you yourself bragged about the ability to survive Houdini's act."

There is no scenario the kids can wind up in where Alfred is even halfway sympathetic to Bruce.

[patronsaintofpink]

"erm actually Batman didn't teach any of his Robins how to handle a gun—" absolutely NOT. In Alfred Pennyworth's household? Don't make me laugh. Every single one of those kids have perfect trigger discipline.

[reebmiester]

Complete based on this

[adhara2034]

Headcanon that the batfam has a Samsung smart refrigerator or whatever it's called, and it is used entirely for doing work while in the kitchen. There has been justice league meetings held on that motherfucker and nuclear threats disengaged.

[lilsoupboiii]

Even more of my personal favorite panels from s2 of Batman: Wayne Family Adventures

[everwalldigan]

I love the fact that Alfred’s preferred method of communication is through food (if he’s mad at you he’ll make your least favourite food, maybe burn it a little on “accident” and if he’s concerned or proud he’ll make a special favourite etc etc) so that got me thinking… Bruce grew up with that way of communication and since brooding is effectively off the table cause hes always brooding, what would be passive aggressive ways he’ll show that he’s pissed off with somebody?

Bruce: *while handing out comm links he hands Tim the one that is most uncomfortable (it’s a tiny bit bigger in size than the others and He Can Feel It)*

Tim: seriously Bruce? You’re still mad about the Batmobile thing?

Bruce: *brooding intensifies*

Bruce: *giving out areas to patrol and gives dick his least favourite part of Gotham*

Dick: BRUCE PLEASE IVE BEEN PATROLLING THAT AREA FOR WEEKS NOW IM SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKED OFF YOUR “VERY IMPORTANT” DOCUMENTS OK??

Bruce: I’ll give you another area to patrol when my formerly perfectly kept folder is as NEAT AS IT USED TO BE!

Dick: ONLY ONE PAPER GOT A LITTLE DIRT ON IT AND ITS ALL INTELLIGIBLE!

Bruce: YOU CANT EVEN TELL IF ITS AN UPPERCASE i OR A LOWERCASE L ANYMORE! THATS A SECURITY RISK!

Bruce: *handing out protein bars during a quieter night and gives Jason a slightly smushed one*

Jason: *takes it and sighs dramatically* you know, I slept so deeply yesterday that I thought I came back from the dead again but, well, it came with a little less pain and emotional manipulation so I-

Bruce: *scowling so hard his cowl almost breaks, takes the smushed protein bar from Jason and gives him his own perfect one instead*

Jason: *smiles innocently in Alfred’s favourite*