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Rain.

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The most entertaining thing about modern/no power/no cape aus is that technically the totally human no-powered people could have the exact same skills as their canon versions

Imagine: Clark Kent is only stronger than the average person because he spent his childhood chucking hay bales around on a farm. Diana Prince knows how to handle swords because she works in a museum and because her mother is just that cool. Arthur Curry is a great free diver and gets along great with sealife. Barry Allen dominated his high-school track team and does marathons in his free time.

It's still enterly possible that in a modern au Bruce Wayne still went on that global trip and did his whole training montage thing with the Tibetan monks after dropping out of med school. He just didn't become Batman afterwards for whatever reason. maybe he does. its honestly up for debate which is funnier in this situation.

Dick Grayson would still be one of the world's best acrobats. Jason Todd would still be capable of lifting tires as a child and getting into fights. Tim Drake would still be a genius. Damian could still take sword lessons. Cass could still be a phenomenal ballerina and fighter. Babs would still be the daughter of a great cop.

Whether or not they act as vigilantes doesn't really matter when the circumstances around them remain similar enough to produce more or less the same. Their origin stories barely need to change in a modern/no cape au, the biggest difference is that there aren't alien invasions and superpowered villains around to fight

Of course this applies to the other non-powered heroes vigilantes and villains but most of them aren't hardwired to be half as crazy as the bats are on principle.

Honestly even in a modern au they still have the capacity to become as dangerous as they ever were in canon

In a world with no absurdly powerful threats the batfamily would be absolutely terrifying. because if they're scary in a world with beings like Darkseid and Superman existing what would the bats seem like in an ordinary world to others.

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a continuation into the little au-thing I have going or something

‘part’ 1

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Brucie can Crash Out sometimes

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Over the years, Bruce has slowly noticed, why exactly Dick's mom had nicknamed him robin. Ofcourse he was born on the first day of spring and is always flitting about, but there's more...robin-like traits that have long since cemented his original robin status

Bruce, rushing to check up on his newly adopted child, Dick, who just walked into a glass door with eyes wide open: Chum? Why did you just walk into glass?

Dick: What glass?

Bruce: I-

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Jason, watching teen, newly discowing!Dick pack up his stuff to move out: Why do you have that hoard?

Dick, shoving his collection of shiny objects, including but not limited to, pins, buttons, spoons, forks, medals and trophies, into a bag: What hoard?

Jason:

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Tim, traumatized after having seen Dick dance in front of Barbara at a ball: Why would you willingly do that? Was that a mating dance?

Dick: A what? I'm not a bird, Tim

Tim: ok

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Damian, looking disgruntled as Dick spoonfeeds him some porridge: Why must you insist on this, Richard? I am 10, not 4

Dick: But you work so hard for patrol and school everyday!

Documentary playing in the background: And the Mama Bird will feed it's chick until it is big enough to hunt on it own....

Damian: ...

Damian: Tt. Fine, you may.

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Duke, on a rare night patrol, batting Batman!Dick away after the fifth time he tried to cover him with his cape: Dude quit it

Dick: But you're vulnerable at night because of your suit!

Duke, suddenly remembering how birds will try to cover their chicks with their wings to keep them safe: I owe tim so many churros

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And also, ofcourse, the many, many times Bruce has seen them all huddling together around Dick like they actually are robin chicks huddling around a robin mama

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villain: who are you?

bruce: I am batman––

baby-dick: *appearing out of nowhere* and I am hungry.

bruce: ...

villain: ...

baby-dick: can we get mcdonalds after this?

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Nightwing (2016-): Fear State

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Dick: Okay, so with Bruce being on a mission with the Justice League, we need someone to be Batman.

Jason: So you just be Batman again

Damian: Actually, I strongly disagree with that arrangement

Tim: Don't tell me.... you think you should be Batman?

Damian: No, I'm aware I don't have the same attitude to be Father

Jason: really?... just the attitude?

Damian: I believe Cain should be Batman

Cassandra: Oh?

Dick: Umm.... Dami, I don't think-

Damian: Think about it. Grayson is too nice, Jason has way too much pent-up anger

Jason: Fuck you.

Damian: And well Drake is just..... Drake

Tim: Wow...

Damian: Cain is the only person who can match Father to a T.

Dick: There are many reasons why she can't be-

Jason: No, no, no, Dick. The demon child has a point

Dick: ..... um, okay then

(Later thar night)

Penguin: About time you showed up-

Cassandra (in Bat suit): You'll pay for your crimes

Penguin: ..... the hell am I looking at?

Robin: What?

Penguin: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT? WHO IS THIS?

Red Hood: Batman, duh

Penguin: No, don't do that

Nightwing: Don't do what? This is Batman

Penguin: That's obviously a teenage girl

The Batkids: (gasps loudly and in sync)

Penguin: WHAT?!

Red Hood: How dare you assume his gender.

Robin: During Pride Month, too

Red Robin: (shaking his head) and here I thought you were an alley

Penguin: okay no just take me in

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ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

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Goodluck Pikachu

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Jason: i cannot FUCKING believe- can you believe this shit?!?! he just fucking replaced me- JUST REPLACED ME. A NEW ROBIN. WHAT THE FUCK.

Dick: i know, trust me i know. i was just as mad when B made you Robin,

Jason: …you were?

Dick: but you gotta just accept that B is an ass and being mad at the new Robin isn’t going to help because Tim is at no fault. it’s better to help the little guy and get back at B a different way; Tim’s innocent in this.

Dick: that’s why i always tried to check up on you when you were a kid, because i was mad at B and not you.

Jason:

Dick: so have you met Tim yet?

Jason:

Jason: ok so i may have gone in a different direction-

Dick: what-

Jason: -and Tim may be in the hospital right now-

Dick: JASON-

Jason: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WE WERE BEING EMOTIONALLY MATURE ABOUT ALL THIS, I DIED BEFORE I COULD FINISH EMOTIONAL PUBERTY

Dick: OH MY GOD

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“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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You know the thing where Gotham has its own timezone except that it's slang for the termporal fuckery caused by the many many layers of curses embedded into the city?

Yeah that, but I like to think Central City has a similar problem. The amount of speed speedforce used by the like 3+ speedsters living there at any given moment sits in the air around the city to the point where it begins to effect how time passes. The speedsters don't age faster than normal people thanks to whatever speedforce based logic is applied, but eventually there's so much ambient speedforce floating around in Central that the entire city gets affected.

As a result the Bat family and the Flash family have known each other existed since the 40s/50s even if it took them a couple decades to actually meet

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*taps microphone* is this thing on? Okay…

🎤 THIS IS A REMINDER THAT ALL OF THE ROBINS ARE SMART, GENIUSES IN FACT. THEY ARE IN A FAMILY OF DETECTIVES. THATS LIKE THEIR WHOLE THING. ALL OF THE ROBINS (AND THE REST OF THE BATFAM TOO) ARE CLEVER, STRATEGIC, AND CAPABLE, NOT JUST TIM. (No hate to my boy Tim, though. I love Tim.) YES, EVEN THAT ONE. Thank you. 🎤

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Dick: bitch if i ever see your poser ass in my world imitating my little brother

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oh shit, it's 3/21/23, 32123, palindrome day

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I refuse to let DC reboot their way out of a warped timeline. No explaining it away, lean into it.

Tim drake is a 90s kid. He is seventeen, he grew up alongside computers and listens to terrible rock rap. Jason, one year older than him, is from the 80s and the height of the AIDs epidemic. Dick, maybe six years older than Jason, is from the 40s. Babs, five years older than dick, is from the 50s. The year is 2025. Bruce Wayne has just turned 40.