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flokali · 1 year ago

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♢ I love you, I own you | Tartaglia

warnings: yandere, dub-con, penetration, coming inside, unprotected, undertones of misogyny, toxic parents, manipulation and gaslighting, obsessive, paranoid, and possessive behavior, toxic mindset, coerced submission, getting walked into, bribing, murder, torture, self-doubt and insecurities (mc), arranged marriage, implied financial insecurity, implied virginity (mc & childe), spoilers for tartaglia’s story/lore, unhealthy coping mechanisms, unreliable narration (at times). ask to tag.

pairing: afab! fem! reader (bottom) x childe (top)

word count: 13.3k

a/n: ahhh; hopefully this is good >_< i love him so much… after almost a year, ‘tis done ^_^

part two: here

— 18+

Childe is horrified and incredibly angered, if not down right homicidal, when he finds out your parents planned to have you engaged to a no-name Fatui henchman, it’s only a further blow to his already weakened heart when the news don’t come from you nor your family but from the loud mouths of your “soon to be fiancé” and his goons. His blue eyes widen and he feels himself grow lightheaded, his stomach feels like it’s turning itself inside out and, oh Celestia, he thinks he’s going to puke.

While perhaps not the most befitting behavior for a Harbinger, Ajax couldn’t help but eavesdrop when he had first heard the mention of your name and while he’s extremely glad he did, - he’s silently thanking the Tsaritsa for telling him now so he could do something - he almost wishes he didn’t as he’s now forced to go back to his office and wordlessly deal with the intrusive thoughts racing through his head.

All he can think about are the countless pinky promises you’d both made to each other during your childhood, the coos of both of your parents when they had first heard him declare his love for you, the feeling of your hands against his when you kissed his cheek goodbye before the fateful day he stumbled down the abyss, the way you and only you were the sole thing keeping him together during his time there, the way you sobbed in relief when he first approached you after emerging victorious from hell itself; did those moments mean nothing? Had only he been impacted by them? Had you forgotten his love for you - your love for him?

No, he thought as he marched to his desk, there’s no way - you had to have felt it too, you must have kept those memories deep in your heart as did he. You both were meant to be, childhood sweethearts, one soul in two different bodies, created from the same stars and carved out from the same earth, put into the same world to meet and love each other from your first life to the last. You were his and he was yours, you were one and the same, you were lovers - it was written in the stars and in his very flesh, it was a fact as true as his love for you.

His breathing is ragged and he can’t contain his shaking body, he never should have trusted your parents - they obviously didn’t have your best interest in mind, if they cared about you at all they would have never promised your hand to another, they would’ve realized he, Childe, Tartaglia, Ajax, he was the best man for you.

Granted, they hadn’t heard from good little Ajax for years, not ever since he’d left for the Fatui - he only ever kept consistent correspondence with you and his family - but that’s no excuse, there was no excuse for their actions, they were disgusting pests that were blinded by greed. How much money had they taken to accept such a disgusting agreement? 500,000 Mora? No, that was too cheap… 1,000,000? 2,000,000? More? Maybe it was in the tens of millions, there was no way you were being given away for less, right?

“Ahhh,” the ginger sank in his chair, his trembling hands finding his hair and pulling at the soft strands in frustration, “what do I do now? What should I do? What should I do? Shit… this can’t be happening.”

He wanted to cry and destroy everything. Destroy that man, no… that poor, pathetic excuse of a man that had dared try and stake his claim on you. This wasn’t your fault, there was no way you knew – never once in your letters had you mentioned a lover nor a wedding, you would have told him - would have begged for him to save you - if you did know you must have cried and begged for them to not marry you to that bastard, sobbed as you muttered his - Ajax’s - name like a mantra, begging to be taken by him and finally wed to the true love of your life.

It felt like the world was falling and crushing him alive.

How could they do this to you? How dare they do this to you? To him, to you, to the both of you.

He could just have the man killed, sent on a suicide mission disguised as an essential step for gnosis hunting - maybe even under the pretense of a promotion, he was sure he’d accept anything, he was a no name soldier that would probably be forgotten by the next round of recruitment -, and make your parents go bankrupt, burn their house and have their businesses fail before delivering the final blow of jailing them due to fraud or maybe even executed under claims of treason; the thoughts calmed his rapid heart, if only slightly.

They needed to be taught a lesson, they shouldn’t put their dirty, greedy hands where they didn’t belong.

But no, that’d be too light of a punishment, and there would be so many loose threads - he’d rather be on good terms with your family - if only for you -, could it maybe be a misunderstanding? It could be, right? They were like family to him once, after all, and a part of him hates the idea of them having grown so vile and corrupted, they were supposed to be his in-laws and he’d rather his children have both sets of grandparents. Not to mention, you’d be so sad to see them gone, even if there was a chance they were worth nothing more than dirt.

No, that wouldn’t do, his wife couldn’t be sad - he’d confront them as soon as physically possible, question their actions and propose a better arrangement, and depending on their answer they would become the Fatui’s latest show of loyalty to the Tsaritsa or officially join the perfect future he’d dreamed of with you.

Yes, that’s what he’d do, his shaking heart finally comes to a rest as he begins to plan his trip. If things went south he could easily have his initial plan executed quickly, and while he doesn’t particularly like the idea of having to plan their execution arrangements, justice wasn’t always pleasant.

It’d be alright, surely all of this could be resolved through a mature, adult conversation. And if not, then Childe wasn’t a Harbinger for naught.

It takes him a few days until he’s able to find the time to meet up with your parents, though, honestly, it’s more like barging into your home unannounced and demanding answers. He has a job - a serious job, after all, one that demands his presence and takes true effort and work, unlike that shitty excuse of meat your parents wanted you to marry - and he had matters to attend to – after all forging evidence for a possible execution isn’t easy and he wants to be prepared, it was one of the few times where he wanted to come in with a proper battle plan.

He had it all planned out if things went south, a few reports here, some testimonies there, a lengthy transcript or two, a handful of bank reports, and soon your parents would look like traitors to the crown and be sentenced to public execution.

All he had to do was confront them in person. He wasn’t sure if your parents would be home, he hoped so as to not prolong such a troublesome process any longer, but he was willing to wait. He was getting his answers today, one way or another; he’d free you from this horrid arrangement and whisk you away to give you the life you truly deserved.

Luckily for him, you live in the same neighborhood as you always had, so no time had to be wasted searching for your family’s whereabouts. It had been a long time since he’d had the chance to come back to his childhood neighborhood and he can’t help the giddiness in his heart as he strolls through memory lane while making his way down the streets you two shared a childhood in, it looked almost the same - a few differences here and there like a new house or someone’s place having been renovated, but it felt just like home. His parents had long since moved houses into a fancier side of the city, the money Childe managed to bring home as a Harbinger long since allowing them the luxuries that had once felt impossible, but he almost wishes they hadn’t as he spots your family’s humble abode, his heart longing back to the days of your shared youth.

It’s a two story house, built with strong wood made to resist Snezhnaya’s harshest winters and the cold summers, the roof was made of strong wood and designed so that snow would fall as to not sink, the front yard still held the swing you’d begged your parents for on your tenth birthday, the mailbox was still slightly crooked from the time he had head-butted it when racing you back from the park, the flowerbed still held the same flowers and plants that were able to withstand Snezhnaya’s harsh weather, the tree somehow still seemed to harbor the countless balls you two had gotten stuck there back when you were in your preteens; it was like it had been frozen in time, the only true difference he could spot was your older figure sitting on the front steps looking as if you were waiting for something, maybe someone; maybe him.

His heart stops as do his steps, he’d been so busy the last couple of years he hadn’t been able to pay you a visit in person, he’d had a few soldiers patrol the area before, but nothing could prepare Ajax for the surge of emotions that coursed through his body as he laid eyes on you.

Your body was taller and you had grown into your features, but you were still you - your eyes still shined with the hope and love he’d long since lost while your lips were still as tempting as he remembered. There was no doubt it was you, he’d recognize you anywhere; no matter how much you changed. But you looked sad, your lips downcast, your eyes filled with tears, and your frame hunched over, it was clear you were cold by the shaking of your frame but you didn’t falter - still sitting down with a flimsy blanket wrapped around you as you waited.

The scene made him pick up his pace, he was desperate to reach your side; what had happened? Why did you look so sad? Were you hurt? His men had not informed him of anything happening that would explain the crystal like tears that pooled in your eyes, just the sight was enough to have his blood boiling and fists shaking as he wondered who was responsible for the pain you so openly displayed.

Have you found out about Andrei and your parents’ sins? The thought of them being the reason for your sorrow made him grow dizzy with rage, but the negative feelings can only last so long as he has you in his sights. Your mere presence seemed to lull his emotional heart into a more tranquil state.

“[Y/N]?” Childe asked, he was only a few feet away from you but he didn’t dare walk closer, “Is that you?”

“A-Ajax?” Your eyes widened, hope evident in your voice and it’s like all traces of the previous pain in your face had vanished, “Oh, Ajax!”

You hesitate for a second before breaking into a smile when you realize it really was him. It almost looks like you want to burst into tears and he’s sure he probably doesn’t look any better, seeing you in the flesh after so long felt like a dream and as if every moment without you until now had been but a nightmare, he can’t help himself from running towards you and throwing himself into your arms. He looks older, definitely more mature, his is build stronger now - probably due to the fighting and training he endured as a Harbinger, you thought - but his smile was still the same, perhaps a bit empty but it still filled your heart with a warmth that could battle Snezhnaya’s unforgiving cold. It felt right to have him back in your arms as if time had never been cruel and taken him away from you, you could have sweared your worries disappeared the moment you took in his warmth.

His white coat floats through the air as he lands between your arms, and you can feel his smile in your chest as he hugs you tight.

He was finally home, he thought, in your arms and back in the neighborhood that had raised him - he was with you and that was all that mattered, the man was filled with so much ecstasy he could almost forget why he’d come here.

“What are you doing here?” You ask him, your voice is shaky and the ginger feels himself melt at the familiar tone of your voice.

“I should be asking you that,” he laughs, his eyebrows becoming furrowed in concern as he speaks, “it’s freezing, darling, you shouldn’t be outside.”

“I… I was waiting for one of your letters,” you whisper shyly, during your time away from each other - weekly letters had been your primary source of communication, something you’d learn to love and cherish as one of the few forms of contact you and Childe could have without your parents knowing his dangerous job and position.

“You’re so cute,” he coos, he feels a weight lift off his shoulders as he realizes you were safe, if anything he feels ashamed he hadn’t been able to send you anything and caused you such pain, his heart aches as he tries to wrap around his head he may have hurt your feelings, his gloved fingers find your cheek and squeezes it tightly, “however, it’s too cold for you to be outside with just a blanket, my love.”

“I know,” you shake your head, you go to lift a hand to wipe the stray tears that had escaped you but Childe takes care of it for you as he delicately caressed your face, “it’s just, I hadn’t heard from you in almost two weeks and I got worried, I thought… maybe something had happened in Liyue and you’d gotten hurt.”

“O-oh… I’m sorry,” his deep blue eyes look downcast as he processes your words, “I never meant to worry you, I had so much to do and to say that instead of a letter I decided to come meet you in person, i-isn’t that better, love? I simply couldn’t be away from you any longer, it’s my fault, though, I should have told you so earlier, ahh… I can’t believe I’ve made my angel cry.”

A poor soldier would have their head cut off tonight, he thought, for he was certain he’d sent a bag full of letters meant to last you at least a full season to be delivered everyday to you while he arranged for this mess to be solved.

You nod as stars fill your eyes before shaking your head as if assuring him you were alright. You loved Ajax and you had loved him for almost all your life, from the moment you met him you’d been charmed by his boyish good looks and charisma, of course a few things had changed, but he was still your sweet Ajax, the boy who’d stolen your heart and kept it safely within his arms for as long as you’ve known him.

“Come on,” you signal him to stand up with a soft pat and the man has to stop himself from begging for more of your touch, “let’s go inside, you must be tired and we have so much to talk about.” He nods and lets himself be pulled up by you as you giggle and smile about finally being able to talk face to face after years of not being able to physically see each other.

You feel like a teenager again as you lead Ajax into your house, your heart beating like you were confessing your love for the first time - the excitement was practically the same, your head felt fuzzy from the warm feeling holding Childe’s hand gave you; you had missed him terribly. You feel like you were about to explode into a million piece from excitement, your head filled with everything you’ve ever wanted to say to Ajax’s face ever since he left, all the news that felt too important to simply write out and that had you hoping a day like this would finally come, you’re scared of coming off too intensely but your heart truly feels like it’ll burst from joy, unfortunately your excitement comes to an abrupt end when you finally drag him into your living room. You turn around to offer him a drink or something to eat, the trip from the capital all the way over here was a couple hours long and he’d always had quite an appetite, but you’re faced with a look of disappointment and slight anger as he looks around the room, your heart sinks - just seconds ago he was all smiles and laughter as you two embraced each other in the harsh winter, having created a warm paradise between each other, but now he looked as if he couldn’t stand to be in your house and you wonder if maybe you’d angered him somehow even though you logically knew you’d done nothing other than invite him inside.

Maybe you were overreacting, you think, you’d been quite paranoid as of recently, your family had been distant and you’d been feeling lonely and anxious for a while. It’d been an embarrassingly long time since you’d had guests over, at least, guests that mattered to you and hadn’t been your parents’ friends or siblings spouses. The look in Ajax’s face makes your stomach churn; had something happened?

“Are your parents home?” He asks, his voice tinged in a mixture of distaste and sadness, it’s lower than when he’d spoken to you earlier and you wonder what could have happened to create such a drastic change in his behavior. If you took the time to notice you’d see how his eyes glare at the family portrait; the two traitors clear as day as they embraced their children, Childe couldn’t help but see them in a new, more negative and hateful light.

Not after two weeks of research, not when he was now certain they wanted to get in his way.

“No, they said they weren’t coming home until later tonight, but if you want to stay till then I’m sure they'd love to see you again,” you try to reassure him thinking he was perhaps saddened at not being able to see your parents, it’d make sense since, unlike you two, they hadn’t been able to keep in touch since the young man’s career in the Fatui began.

“I… I don’t think I want to meet them, no,” Ajax shakes his head, his hair bouncing as he makes his way to your sofa, his legs tremble slightly – cowards, he thinks, not even able to show their faces, “I actually came here to talk to them but, ha… now that I’m here I’m not too sure.”

“Hmm, how so?” You ask, your heart - which was already quite nervous at his sudden change of mood - sinks further, a sudden uneasiness fills your lungs.

He’d come here in hopes of finding you parents and confronting them with his findings, he would have offered them a chance to redeem themselves and cancel the wedding without you even finding out about the secret dealings they’d been making in your name, but they were not here, you were. Maybe, he could change his battle plan, if he couldn’t talk to your parents… why not simply talk to you? If he’d offered a higher sum and never asked you himself, he’d be no better than that lowlife and your parents, not that you’d reject him - but the thought of steeping as low as they did made him sick.

“What are your thoughts about marriage?” The question is so sudden and unrelated to the previous topic you instinctively frown.

“Marriage,” you sit down opposite of him, it feels like you’re in a job interview as he questions you, “I mean, I’ve thought about it but I’m not sure I want to get married, at least not now, I’m not too sure I’d want to give it all up; I mean, I have a job and friends, there’s so much to do, so much I want to do… and I can’t say I’d be able to do it all if I was married. I’d like to travel and, I… I don’t know, learn more I guess, I feel like if I settle down it'll be once I’m more, you know, confident or mature?”

You trail off awkwardly, it was true - the only times you’d ever seriously thought about marriage often included you being significantly older and, most of the time, with an already retired Ajax — though you wouldn’t admit that to his face unless you were certain he felt the same. You’d rather keep that last part hidden, if not for fear of making him uncomfortable, for the sake of your heart and fear of being brushed aside. Your parents had made it quite clear; you were no marriage-material, you’d be lucky if you even manage to get a partner at this rate, and you doubted a man as accomplished as Tartaglia, Ajax, the 11th Harbinger, would settle for a average, clumsy, pessimistic small town girl such as yourself.

He stays quiet as if a million thoughts were racing around his head; that wasn’t the answer he particularly wanted, he’d rather hear you’d been fantasizing of marrying him, hear you ramble on and on about how you’d been waiting for him and were just about ready to go down the aisle with him and promise yourself to one another but he was glad you weren’t against the idea of marriage, even if he wished you’d been more open about doing it sooner rather than later; but that would change, he was sure of it.

��And, uh, what about you?” You ask, the air felt heavy and you desperately wanted to ease the tension, only one thought was really running through your head that you were too afraid to ask; “What was going on with Ajax?”

“Me?” The question snaps him out of whatever mental trance he’d caught himself in, “Well, I want to get married, the sooner the better, I want to have a family, but it’s gotta be with the person I love the most in this world, I couldn’t bring myself to imagine living without them.”

Neither the words themselves nor the sentiment are crazy, even if you’d only just gotten to know him, it was obvious Ajax wanted a loving family to call his own and it was a pretty common desire for many, it more so was the way his eyes seemed to bore into your own as he spoke, as if he were trying to let you know it was you who he was talking about. You flustered at the thought, it was perhaps selfish to think it was you he was talking about but the thought pleased you nonetheless even if your parents’ words echoed in your mind.

“That’s, ah,” you mumble, breaking eye contact and looking elsewhere, trying to calm your beating heart, you should stop being so silly - he was here to talk with your parents, not you, both of you meeting was mere coincidence, nothing else, “really nice, I hope you find them soon..”

“You do?” He smiles, seemingly pleased with your words, but it’s significantly weaker than usual.

There’s an awkward silence as you wonder if maybe, just maybe, he’d come here to propose. You know it sounds crazy and incredibly sudden but the mention of marriage and wanting to talk to your folk, the fact he’d made the time in his incredibly busy schedule and travels to come over to your house, it made it sound like he had ulterior motives for coming here and just the thought of them had you flustered. You may have just said you wanted to hold off on marriage, that you doubted someone like him would even think of being your partner, but you felt certain that if Ajax asked for your hand you would agree with no hesitation – out of a pitiful mix of love and desperation.

You’re unsure of what to do and are about to speak up, willing to say almost anything to move the conversation forward and away from the topic, but he beats you to it and breaks the silence first.

“Listen, dove… I-I love your parents and I wouldn’t accuse them of something like this if I didn’t have evidence, okay?” He lies through his teeth, after finding out the way they were so willing to get in between you two he could barely stand the thought of them now, but he’s lucky the rest of the words come easy, “I really didn’t want to believe this either, but I have many a reason to suspect they may be trying marrying you off soon to a stranger.”

“W-What?” You breathe out, you struggle to process his words, it’s as if they’d bounced off your brain and floated off elsewhere, “M-marrying me off? What’s - what do you mean?”

No, no, no way.

You feel yourself grow tense and light headed.

What sort of messed up prank was this? There was no way… right?

“It seems they found a member of the Fatui,” he shakes his head, “a guy named Andrei Galkin, and they’re planning to marry you off to him, so I decided to ask around - it seems like it’s been a topic for a while now, money may be involved too, the reason I came here was to… have a talk with your parents, see if I could change their mind.”

“D-do you even have proof?” You ask with a shivering voice, heat rushes to your cheeks as you begin to feel hot in embarrassment and anger; your parents were meaning to sell you off to some man? This had to be a joke Childe was playing, you’d known he’d become a bit off after the Abyss incident and you knew his time as a Harbinger probably messed him up, but this wasn’t funny. It was disgusting, the mere prospect has you trembling as you try and grasp what on earth was happening. However, the more you look at him, you wonder if this is a joke at all. You studied him and his expression, desperately trying to see anything on his face that’d indicate this was a sick prank from his part, a cheeky smile or maybe lack of eye contact - anything would do, you felt yourself begin to hyperventilate as you realized how absurd it’d be for him to come all the way to a village hours away from the main city to play such a horrible joke on you, one he must have known would cause you pain and anguish — you doubted he’d want to see you like this, at least you hoped he wouldn’t want to see you like this.

Oh, the realization makes you grow lightheaded, he was probably telling the truth.

“There’s correspondence between them and his family, there’s also a wedding venue booked under their names,” Ajax mumbled, his voice a mere whisper against the sound of your beating heart, he pulls a few files from his coat and hands them to you - your last name is printed on the cover and you quickly open them and browse through the pages, your heart sinks, “I also found money transactions between your family and the Galkin family, about… I’m sorry but I can’t —“

“How much, Ajax?” You feel stiff and your hands start shaking making it hard for you to continue flipping through the countless reports, photographs, records, bank transactions, and letters, your blood feels terribly cold as you try to calm down the whirlwind of feelings that coursed through your body, but you couldn’t bring yourself to calm down, not when your family, your parents of all people, have seemed to been able to calmly put a price on not only your love but your person as well.

“About 900,000 Mora,” he mutters, cold blue eyes avoiding your gaze as he continues, “to Uncle and Auntie from Andrei’s family.”

“900,000 Mora…” You feel your heart shatter as Childe brings a comforting hand towards your shoulders, his calloused fingers massaging your tense muscles, “You’re… you’re serious, aren’t you?”

“I’d never lie about such a thing,” he approaches you slowly, Ajax continues speaking as he envelops you with a hug soon after removing the papers from your trembling hands,“this pains me as much as it pains you.”

All of this was true, it’d taken him a long time to gather it all, but the reality was simple and cruel;

your parents had begun arranging for your marriage to an older Fatui soldier for after his retirement.

“Why… why would they do this?” You mutter, feeling sorrow slowly fill your lungs up - making it harder to breathe comfortably, “H-how could they? How could they? Why… Ajax, w-why?”

You felt like an idiot, just minutes ago you’d naively thought you may be getting proposed to by your childhood lover, a childish and hopelessly romantic thought, but now you’re sitting in your living room, on the verge of a breakdown as you tried to think of why on earth your parents would be willing to accept such an offer on your behalf, why they’d use you - their daughter - for Mora.

“Shhh, it’s okay, let it out,” he brings your head into his shoulder, caressing your back in a soothing manner, “it must feel horrible, I’m sure.”

And so you sit there, sobbing into your old friend as you try and process the information presented in front of you. It takes you a good couple of minutes to calm down, by then you two have once again sat down on the couch.

“What am I going to do?” You bury your face into your hands, your body shook as you thought about having to confront your parents once they arrived now with the knowledge you had.

It takes Ajax a couple of seconds before he speaks up, he needed to make it seem like he hadn’t been thinking of this from the moment he’d gotten his hands on the evidence himself; “I have an idea but...”

Your head shoots up in record speed, you could practically feel your neck crack from the sudden move but you didn’t care, you were desperate for a solution - no matter how good or bad it may be; “Oh come on, just spit it out, nothing could be worse than this.”

“Marry me.”

Your eyes widen and your breath hitches; “M-Marry you?”

He nods, sapphire eyes staring you down like a hunter would prey - you didn’t like the way he was looking at you.

“Why?”

“Why?” He echos, you can see him stifle a laugh, “Because it’s either that or marrying some lowlife named Andrei who paid to wed you.”

You feel your body stiffen at the harsh words, they were true but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to hear. You avoid looking him in the eyes, your hands anxiously twiddle each other.

“… and what if you’re wrong?”

“What?” He asks as if he couldn’t believe what you had just said.

“What if my parents aren’t marrying me off…”

“Darling,” Ajax laughs but his eyes didn’t seem to have gotten the memo, “are you doubting me? I gave you evidence, it’s right there.”

“Not necessarily,” you look away, you couldn’t help but wonder why you needed to explain yourself, “but, come on, I can’t accept this, it’s too sudden and mom and dad, t-they’d never do this to me, right? I’m their daughter, you know? They love me, they said they did and you don’t do this if you love someone, right?. So… so w-what if you’re wrong?”

“Wrong? There’s no other interpretation that makes sense of what we’ve both seen. Why would I lie to you about this? Come on, love, look at me, do I look like I’m enjoying this?” He questions you, “Look at me, come on, listen to me, if it were up to me,” he grabs your chin when you refuse to meet his gaze, his dark blue eyes stare deeply into your soul; they don’t shine the way the once used to, “I would have asked them for their blessing and proposed to you in the plaza, I would have had a ring ordered from Liyue costume made for you, I’d organize for their to be flowers of every color imaginable, even arrange food and music too, there would be hundreds onlookers who’d die to experience a fraction of the joy we would be feeling, I would have invited my family and yours, I’d have you wearing a custom dress, you’d be the happiest woman in Teyvat if I’d have my way… but look where we are instead, can’t you see? This isn’t what I wanted for us, this isn’t what I wanted for you, but we still have time, we can still fix it. But before that first, you have to believe me and get it through your head; this is who they are, this is what they’ve done, your parents don’t love you any more.”

“…” You can only look at him in shock as you feel tears swell in your eyes because it was not far fetched to say that the last few months your family had been distant, that they’d begun to act strange, and that you’d been short on cash for Tsaritsa knows how long, it hurt because a part of you felt like this was plausible. Because it was true, you were the youngest and that you didn’t exactly pull your weight the same way your siblings did, it was true you’d been more of a casualty in your family’s life but that didn’t mean they’d sell you off. No, they had treated you with love and kindness, they’d been there for every big step in your life, they loved you… right? They’d never do this to you, they would never accept Mora in exchange for your hand in marriage. They would never trade their love for you for some Money… right?

Maybe their love was ensuring you had a better future, one where your lover took care of you even if you didn’t exactly choose them, it was true your love life had been awfully stale, that the only person you’d ever been interested in who had also liked you back was in the army, and that you were never quite able to secure a full time job, it was always part-time and you were always booked the least compared to your coworkers. It was true you didn’t have many friends, most of the people your age had moved away by now, you were the only one of your siblings who wasn’t married or dating someone, out of all of your siblings you were the only one who seemed to remain the same no matter how many years passed. Maybe it was exactly what this was, a misunderstood, misplaced, and ill-fitting way of showing their love; but maybe you hated the thought this was their way of expressing it more than you were moved they’d tried at all.

“Shhh, my love,” you didn’t quite catch when Ajax had started wiping your tears away nor when he had managed to get so close, but at that moment – the moment where your whole life felt so uncertain and shaken – you were willing to ignore it all, “it’s okay, I know what you’re thinking… My offer still stands, you can still marry me.”

“And then what?” You sobbed, holding his gloved hands tightly against your cheek, “What am I going to do after that?”

“You’ll move in with me,” he responds matter of factly yet his tone is still soft, as if he feared speaking too loudly would scare you away, “and we’ll tell them together and you’ll make your bags and we’ll be on our way away from all of this mess. Please listen to me, sweetheart, as of right now, I’m the only choice for you – it won’t be bad at all, it’ll be lovely in fact, don’t you want that?”

“…”

“Please, please trust me, I only want what’s best for you,” he continues, ignoring your silence and instead continuing to caress your skin, “I’ve worked with Andrei, he’s no good, he’s older and cranky, he’s always in a bad mood, he won’t satisfy you, and I don’t want you to be miserable, I mean look at you, is this what you want? Hear me out and put trust in me, you won’t regret it; I’ll get you out of this, I promise.”

“But…”

“I love you and I know you love me,” he whispered, drawing closer to you, his voice low as he slowly leans into your lips, he stops right before they can touch his own, “and I’m sure you’ll grow to love this too.”

There’s a silence as you let your options cross your head, you feel yourself grow overwhelmed, being struck with grief and regret in such strong waves you have no choice but to simply give in to the only secure stone you currently see in the storm that was brewing in your mind.

He loved you, he said so himself, and he’d protect you, he’d promised. You could trust him, you had to trust him; you had no one else.

“I’ll… I’ll marry you.”

“That’s my girl.” He boasts, his face – which is now close enough for you to smell the mint in his breath – breaks into a smile before he’s leaning into your face to kiss you; You reciprocate the action and close your eyes, secretly hoping that today was but a nightmare.

You feel his gloved hands wander around your body, the leather-like material is smooth as his skilled digits play around. There’s barely any time to breathe as he continues kissing you until you grow dizzy from the lack of oxygen entering your lungs.

You had always liked Ajax, always dreamed of marrying him, but as your dreams were coming true you couldn’t help but feel suffocated by the circumstances that brought it up.

“Darling,” he moans, as he finally parts himself from your abused lips, “you’re not kissing back, don’t tell me you –“

“Ajax,” you interrupt, your voice barely above a whisper as you desperately try to dive into his eyes, seeking an answer, “why are you doing this?”

The question spoke for itself, no further clarification was needed; why had he come? Why had he revealed your parents’ plans? Was it even as awful as he made it seem? Why did he care? Why now? Did he really want to marry you or did he just feel responsible for you? Why did he bring himself into this mess? Why you, why him, why, why, why, why? Simply; why?

A part of you couldn’t quite believe what you’d heard, you still struggled to grasp the idea that your parents would even think of giving your hand away for Mora, and yet the intensity in his voice, the anger in his tone as he relayed the information he’d gathered could have convinced anyone, you doubted he’d lie about something as severe. If this was the truth, it’d been revealed to you too quickly, you’d been expected to get over it too soon, one moment you find out your parents were getting rid of you and your trust in the most materialistic of ways and the next you’ve been proposed to by a man you hadn’t seen in person for over half a decade. You can’t help but wonder if you said yes because you loved him or because you were desperate, for what - you didn’t know.

“Because I love you,” he speaks, his dull eyes finding yours and you wonder if they’d always lacked light, “I love you… and I’m not letting anyone get in my- our way.”

In his head, this was the only way to have you, this was the only way to love you, he was going to save you.

He doesn’t stop to wait for your response before he’s picked you up with ease, years of training and hard work evident by how nonchalantly he walks around your house and goes up the stairs, ignoring all the other rooms and picking up the pace the closer you got to the destination; you were going to your bedroom, you realize, the one you’d been occupying since you were a child. You never thought your house to be small but the speed in which he was walking made you aware of how short the distance between your bedroom and living room was.

“Ajax, what are you doing?” You whimper, you hold on tightly to the ginger, you’re so close you can smell his cologne, afraid he’d let you do if you let up even for a second.

“I’ll show you,” he continued down the hall, there’s an edge to his voice that gives you a chill, he sounded almost angry but with whom you did not know, “I’ll show you why I’m doing this.”

You two finally make your way to your bedroom where he kicks the door open and plops you, quite unceremoniously, down onto the mattress. He kicks off his shoes and wiggles his heavy coat off before climbing the bed with you, he tugs you around until you’re below him.

“You’re doing all of this too fast, calm down,” you argue, pain and sorrow still evident in your voice and it hurts his soul to hear it, “you don’t have to prove me anything, I…”

“Everything I’ve said is true, love,” the red-head insists, “and I’m doing this equally for me as I’m doing it for you.”

You don’t respond, instead you opt to look away; his gaze was becoming too intense and it was making you feel funny in ways you hadn’t felt before.

“Look at me,” his hands find your jaw and he redirects your gaze forcefully, “you’ve already said yes, unless… don’t tell me you,” his eyes darken as they narrowed, an almost animalistic look took over his features, “you lied and you don’t want to marry me.”

“I… I do, I’ve always wanted to, but,” It’s embarrassing to admit but you do so anyway in fear of creating a misunderstanding between the two of you, everything was going so fast you were struggling to keep up, “but… is this really how you want to do it?”

You were certain you could take things slower, maybe wait for your parents to come home and talk to them, you didn’t understand why he was in such a hurry, was this healthy? Was this okay?

“Yes,” it seems like he can sense your hesitation so he continues, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” His words held so much certainty you almost feel stupid for even questioning him, he drew near your lips once more before engulfing your mouth in a kiss, this time with much more vigor than before.

His teeth nip at your lips, begging for entry and you shyly grant it, slowly parting your mouth open. It’s all so messy as you feel his tongue enter your mouth, the muscle seemingly had a life of its own as it mapped your mouth, teeth clashed against each other as if he were desperate to dominate you.

His hands find your waist and insists on pushing you further into the bed, molding your body into the mattress, as he rubs your sides with slow, sensual movements that light your body ablaze. The contrast between the continuous attacks on your lips and the soft stroking of your body left you dizzy, he handled you as if you were made of porcelain and yet ravaged you like a beast when granted access.

You unknowingly whine as your lips finally part, taking a deep breath of air in the process, a thin strip of saliva connected you both, a lewd indicator of the passion Ajax wished to imprint on you. You’re both panting, clearly riled up from the heated kiss, but the man on top of you insisted on letting his hands work their way through you. Your eyes trail downwards where his gloved digits traced the shape of your body, the way they glide across your curves and dips was hypnotizing, and you miss the way a smirk overtakes his features as he realizes how tightly he’s got you wrapped around those very same fingers.

You feel his breath before you hear his words; “Can I take this off?”

His voice is barely above a whisper yet his question rings around the room like a scream, you feel yourself grow hot under your clothes; the same ones he’d just asked to remove off of you.

You’re too embarrassed to answer him, still slightly hesitant to continue going, you can feel your cheeks heat up into a burning mess and you’re scared that if you speak you’ll make a fool of yourself, so instead you nod slowly, trying to calm your racing mind, moving your eyes elsewhere in hopes you wouldn’t have to see the smug look his face was sure to take.

However, he’s quick to catch your face and redirect your gaze back to himself; “Thank you.”

You let him pick you from the bed to fiddle with the claps on the back of your dress, his fingers are swift in figuring out how to free you from your outer layers, it’s almost amazing how quickly he’s able to take your clothes off until you’re clad in your modest undergarments.

Due to Snezhnaya’s unforgiving winters you often layered multiple articles of clothing and prioritized warmth over aesthetics, the thought your underwear might be underwhelming doesn’t cross your mind until you’re left with your thigh-length woolen socks and plain bra and panties. You wonder if maybe the sight would be disappointing for a man as well traveled as Childe, he’s probably seen much more appealing bodies and clothes during his travels, but that idea goes as quickly as it comes when you finally see his reaction to your partially bare body.

Even though he still wore multiple layers, you could see the way his chest had begun to fall and rise unsteadily, his cheeks have taken a feverish glow, and his breath has become noticeably ragged, the hands that held the clothes he’d recently taken off your body were clearly shaking, his fists tightened their grip on the soft fabrics of your garments until they wrinkled. His eyes never left you, even as they traveled through your body, mapping out every nook and cranny he so desperately wanted to mark and savor, he didn’t dare let his gaze wander as if afraid the minute he did you’d disappear and he’d wake up in his office, cold and alone.

“Hah…” Ajax lets out a soft moan as he takes in the sight in front of him, he feels weak and bothered as he watched your breasts rise and fall as you breathed, he lets his eyes go downwards until he’s face to face with your covered pussy and he feels his underwear slowly moisten as he catches sight of a small wet patch that had formed in your panties.

“Don’t look at me like that…” You mumble into your arms, your body instinctively tries to hide itself but your friend doesn't allow it. The minute he feels your legs try to bundle together he slots himself in between them and throws your clothes away so he can fully grasp and force them apart.

There’s silence as you both stare at each other, waiting for one of you to make the first move and fully pass the point of no return.

Surprisingly, this time it’s you who grows impatient and drags the ginger down to meet your hungry lips.

Maybe it’s because right now, Ajax felt like the only person who cared about you and you felt desperate to feel comforted, you felt betrayed and hurt and you craved to be reminded you were loved. It wasn’t healthy and a part of you felt guilty, like you were using him for momentary comfort, as if you’d forced him to come and offer his hand in marriage, if you were smarter and stronger maybe you would’ve realized what was going on and could have stopped it. But he’d said he loved you, right? You loved him, you knew you did and he’d gone and declared his love for you first, even when you were kids he was always dedicated to reminding you of his adoration, but your parents said that too and where did that lead to? He wasn’t doing this out of feeling obligated to care for you, was he?

Maybe this was a mistake, you probably should not be initiating sex with a man you haven’t seen in person in years after he came to tell you your parent had sold you off to marry some rich old, gross soldier, you instead should have sat down and talked for longer, tried figuring out what was going on and perhaps find a solution that didn’t include you marrying your childhood sweetheart, not out of love but out of fear of being forced into an arranged marriage with a stranger. But the fact of the matter is that you didn’t do that, you let yourself be dragged along by his passion and desperation, you now laid in bed making out with Ajax as you desperately tried to push the thoughts of self-doubt and disgust away.

You try to focus on the present without thinking of the past nor the future; The almost one million Mora your parents had pocketed didn’t mean anything, there was no Andrei Galkin, Ajax had never left you, the Fatui didn’t exist, there hadn’t been any betrayal or hurt feelings, you were safe and you were free, there was nothing. In this room, at least for this moment, all that existed was you and Tartaglia.

His shirt is a barrier between your greedy hands and his naked body that’s becoming increasingly annoying as you parted your lips to grant him access to your all of mouth, which he gladly accepts as your tongues caress each other in a sloppy manner, you feel your teeth sometimes clash with his own but you’re too focused on tugging at his clothes, trying to get them off with the least amount of space between you both to care. They could rip, you didn’t care, you wanted to feel his body and warmth, you needed to feel alive.

Your body is starting to feel tingly, your nipples feel hard against your bra and your lower region becomes needy. You want him to touch you more but his hands are busy fiddling with your hips and waist, alternating between the two spots as he caresses and pinches your skin.

You both seem hesitant to let each other go even if it’s for something as necessary as catching your breaths, but even if things seemed to have slowed down it didn’t mean something isn't happening.

“Ajax,” your voice is soft and breathless, you feel your lungs beg you to not speak, “take ‘em off, wanna touch you…”

You gesture at his clothes, slowly running a finger around his chest and stopping at - where you guessed - his nipple was and pressing down hard.

A deep grunt of approval escaped the man’s lips at the feeling and it took him a second to nod, busy trying not to focus too much on the way he felt his cock throbbing, and back off to make way for him to take his clothes off. Childe refuses to completely climb off you, instead leaning backwards to unbutton his shirt and click off the harness he wore, his coat falling behind is his figure, and his shoes long since thrown elsewhere, his pink nipples are clearly sensitive as his eyes shut off tightly as his clothes graze them, his whole body felt on fire - as if your mere presence were an aphrodisiac to the man. Next is his pants and socks and he does his very best to be as quick as humanly possible, they’re all off in record speed and he’s soon only wearing his underwear.

The minute he’s done, he’s thrown himself back onto you as if trying to make up for the few seconds he’d parted from you.

You’re flustered as you finally feel his skin freely come in contact with yours, as if the situation slowly began sinking in just then. Not to mention, you’d caught sight of his raging boner through the thin layer of fabric that constituted his undergarments. It looked big and thick and you wondered, if you even reached that point, if it was even possible to feel good from such a thing pounding on your hole, it looked like it’d hurt more than anything. But a greedy part of you was desperate to find out how it’d feel to have all of him inside of you, to have his fat tip caressing the deepest corners of your body, painting your gummy insides white.

This time, you both skip the kissing and go straight to touching each other, this time more shamelessly and with less hesitance. Your hands find his neck and you pull his head into the crook of your neck where he dedicates his time to litter kisses across the area, you let your hands wander across his shoulders and neck, softly scratching the skin under your nails whenever he kisses a particularly sensitive spot. On the other hand, Ajax let his hands travel across your chest and cup your breasts, he molds the flesh like a stress ball, tightening his grip and pulling at them like they were toys. The feeling of your bra coming into contact with your hardening nipples makes you whimper and moan while your body contorts in an attempt to meld deeper with the man on top of you.

Your movements are restricted and awkward as you were currently caged between the bed and him, but you do your best to communicate your growing neediness.

“A-Ajax, mhmm~!” You gasp, his teeth gnaw at a spot in your neck that has a shot of neediness reaching your privates in electrifying waves, “… more, I wan’ more…”

You can feel his lips curve into a smirk as he hears the desperation in your voice but he’s not better at concealing the very obvious way your words affected him; “My dove wants more? Hah—haha, a-aren’t you such a cute ‘nd needy little thing.”

You huff slightly at his teasing words but you can’t deny that the way he addressed you as “his” made you grow increasingly horny. He seems to hear your soft complaint and finally parts with your neck, which was now littered with hickies and love bites, to allow himself to gaze deeply into your eyes.

You could never deny that Ajax’s eyes were the prettiest shade of blue you’d ever seen, they resemble sapphires and noctilucous jade but with less shine. When you both were younger you’d spend hours gazing upon them, admiring the intensity they held. Now, however, you can’t say you aren’t slightly intimidated as he gazes at you like a predator. His hands leave your body and you’re immediately missing the warmth they provided you, in fact, you’re about to complain and ask him to touch you again when he suddenly cups your clothed pussy with his hand.

His hand is large, his fingers are long and the palm is in no way small, which meant most - if not all - of your cunt was now being held in one of his hands. His thumb is hovering over your clit and you gasp as you feel him tighten his hold and trace his fingers across your slit and up to your sensitive nub.

You squirm, letting your bottom grind against his hands, slowly building up your pleasure until you’re letting out soft moans and whines. Tartaglia decides to aid you as he himself works towards getting his member hard and oozing with release by moving his hand across your pussy and grinding on your thighs simultaneously. Your mind grows hot and dazed as you sense your pussy begin to drool, you could feel the way your juices leaked, the wet trail they’d leave and traveled across your your entrance, down your slit and across your thighs, soaking your underwear with release; you wondered if Ajax could feel your excitement too.

You could certainly feel him. His cock had long since been hard and leaking precum, you could make out through hazy eyes and desperate movements a wet patch on his boxers. It looked so big constrained against the fabric, you wanted to free his cock and feel it inside your hole, any of them, his balls seemed to hold unceremonious amounts of cum as the wetness kept growing more and more visible to you, you wondered if he’d be willing to come inside of you if you asked.

You both work together, trying to make the other as aroused as possible until someone snapped and began demanding the intercourse you both clearly wanted.

You don’t want to give in, not yet, but he’s begun to tease your slit with his fingertips and you’re growing aggravated from the empty feeling in your cunt. You feel yourself clenching onto nothing, your walls closing desperately trying to find anything to grip onto, you are growing desperate to feel something inside, be it his fingers, his tongue or his cock — you wanted him inside of you, now.

“Ha… hah~” You can feel his tongue hanging from his open mouth, drool escapes his parted lips and coats your breasts, you’re surprised he’s managed to keep himself up for so long, all the training he’d endured paying off and allowing him to mount your thighs and grind his length against your skin, his expression is one of extreme arousal that makes you tense and grow lust-drunk, “T-Tell me… d’ya wanna feel my cock in your pussy yet, darling?”

“…! M—mhk?!” You let out a high pitched whine as a particular stroke of his hands delves momentarily into your clothed hole, you can feel your cum slowly dirty your underwear.

“Look at you,” he chuckles, his movements growing erratic, his ginger hair seems darker and less vibrant against his reddened face, “your… your pussy is beggin’ for me!”

“Please…” Your voice is barely above a whisper, your body still rocks alongside his own as he uses your body to get off and bring you close to a mind-numbing release, your voice wavers as your whole being is shocked from the pleasure Ajax’s hand toying with your clothed cunt brings, your legs twitch and your body keeps contorting and folding.

“Hmm, please what? I need you to tell me,” he mumbles, his voice takes a deep, desperate and animalistic tone as he continues, he takes his fingers and starts to circle your clit with an unimaginable force, “What do you want, huh? If you want me to fuck y-you, you’ll need to use your big girl words. Say; “I want my husband’s cock inside of me”, come on, ask for y-your husband’s cock…!”

“A~Ajax…! Please-uh…” Your body begins to hurt, your very own genitals seem to be burning in fire as you desperately try to soothe the ache in your womb and clit. You begin to rut against his hands at an embarrassing, almost objectifying, pace, absolutely desperate to cum and lift the cloud of lust that seemed to haunt you from the moment Ajax laid your body on your mattress.

“That’s not who I am,” he mumbles into your skin, his teeth beginning to bite and mark the flesh of your breast, “I’m y-your husband now, right? So, ask for it properly… hah~ won’t you?”

“… want my h-husband’s cock, I… inside of me, please,” you whine between heavy breaths, “I… want to fuck my—hah… h-husband…”

The moan that leaves his lips is loud and primal, his whole body shudders as he hears your plea. He didn’t think he could get any harder and yet hearing your shaky voice ask for him sends a rush of blood through his body and straight to his dick.

“Ahaha… that’s right, isn’t it? I-I’m your husband now,” an unsettling grin starts to form on his face, one that, if you weren’t so desperate and vulnerable, would probably have sent a shiver down your spine; it was an expression that resembled his face after ending a powerful opponent, one that meant victory was his, that he’d won, it was the face many people would see before departing the realm of the living, one of pure, unhinged bliss that could only be understood by a man such as himself, “I’m your husband, your husband… a-ah! Ha-ah, that means… hah, that means it’s my duty to fuck you, to make you feel good, a good husband makes love to his spouse, right? S-so as your husband, I get to be inside of you… a-and make you cum lots. Yeah, I… I’m going to be the best husband, you’ll feel good too… So be a good wife and take all of my love, ‘kay?”

During his incoherent rambling, which you barely could understand, he works to rid you of your underwear with desperate movements. His hands pull at the fabric with enough force that they tear, allowing him to rip the fabric off your hips and discard it on the floor. The cool air in your room hits your lower end and makes you shiver, your body had been previously engulfed by Childe’s warmth, the feeling of his own heating body and rapid blood circulation had sheltered you from the freezing temperature outside of the sinful haven between your bodies. The difference in temperature and its effect on you seems to have been noticed by your partner, who looks around the room trying to find a solution.

You want to hurry him up, tell him you didn’t mind the cold, that you just wanted to feel him inside you for the first time, but before you know it he’s pulling something from behind; his white coat soon is back on his shoulders, lazily throw on, barely holding up as he quickly pulls his underwear off. He’s quick and precise, never wasting a moment as he adjusts himself on top of you once more, this time with his bare cock leaking on your stomach.

“I’ll heat you up… inside and out, hah…” He mumbles, adjusting the coat so it covers both of you, the long, heavy material immediately worked wonders as your body regained its warmth.

You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck to bring him closer to you, you’re both trembling as he slowly lowers his pelvis to meet your own. You were right, he was big and he was long and thick, but he made sure to go slowly as he inserted two fingers to stretch you out in preparation.

Your slick facilitates the intrusion, there’s not much pain as he opens and closes his fingers, curling and extending them, as if trying to gauge how far you could stretch. His cheeks are a bright red, sweat runs through his forehead as he feels your body accommodate the feeling of his fingers. Ajax was big, always taller than most in your village, and his time in the Fatui had definitely contributed to his size – his shoulders were broad, his chest chiseled, and his fingers, the ones that slowly danced inside your pussy, were long and calloused. This was your first time feeling something other than your own hands and Ajax was making sure to show you all the places you could have never reached on your own.

You don’t even realize you’d begun panting, soft whines and moans had been leaving your lips forma while now, noises that only served to encourage Ajax further. But he had to stop, he needed you both to cum together as one. Your first time together had to be romantic like that, both of you climaxing together and coming undone at the same time.

There’s a feeling of emptiness and disappointment that follows the feeling of his fingers leaving your body, you’re about to complain when you see him bring his fingers to his lips to lap at the slick that had stuck to them. You’re mesmerized at the lewd image, gazing hopelessly at the way his face melted into one of pure pleasure as he tasted you. He makes sure to lick his fingers clean, his tongue lapping at the cum.

You catch his eyes and they soften, a lovestruck look taking over his features, you nod and open your legs wider than before; encouraging him to finally fuck you. He positions himself outside of your opening, making sure you grasp your legs and pull them as wide apart as he physically could without hurting you.

Even with the previous preparation, your breath is knocked out of your lungs as his tip slowly makes its way through your slit, past the muscles and finally inside your gummy walls.

He uses his arms to adjust his body, making sure to be as careful as possible as to not hurt you. This was your first time making love to each other, and he’d be damned if he were the one to cause you pain.

He gives you a second before pushing the rest in, he’s still slow, attempting to coax your body into adjusting to the feeling of being so full. His blue eyes are closed, his breath is heavy and you can feel the bed shake as he tries to control himself, you’re not faring much better, your head felt light as all your body could seemingly concentrate on was the feeling between your legs, your body was heating up and you could feel the warmth radiate off your skin.

You know he’s fully sheathed himself when you feel the soft “thud” of his balls hitting your ass, you’ve become hyper aware of the proximity and situation you’re in as his cock begins to throb inside of your pussy, his head comes to rest on the crook of your neck as you both adjust to the feeling of each other's body.

A moment passes, your walls that had previously been gripping Ajax like a lifeline slowly weaken, finally allowing both of you to relax and begin to experiment.

“I-I’ll start…” He mumbles, avoiding your gaze as if feeling shy, he begins to move around as if to grip the bed’s headboard, all while still inside you, his arms allowing him to cover your body from the world.

As you look up, you realize how he’s become all you see, his imposing frame and coat acting as a curtain blocking the outside from entering your view. Your heart feels heavy but you try and pay it no mind.

The movements are slow and clumsy at first, his cock never truly leaves your warmth fully, his tip always kept inside of your cunt - one way or another. The feeling is strange, you’re not used to the way his length would gaze at your walls or the feeling of the veins on his dick caressing spots inside of you that made you gasp and curl your toes. It’s new and it takes some adjusting before you begin to rock your own hips to meet his, suddenly it begins to feel good, really good in fact. There was something about the stretch, maybe it was the feeling of being so full, the way his cock curved and hit spongy spots in your pussy becomes addicting, or maybe it was the fat vein that decorated the underside of his cock, but it wasn’t long until you’re trying to entice a faster, tougher pace.

He takes his time teasing and easing you into the rhythm of sex, he wouldn’t tell you, but a part of him was scared that if he picked up his pace he wouldn’t be able to stop until you were leaking his cum - not to mention, he wasn’t sure he’d last long if he started to fuck you even faster. The feeling of your walls gripping him was divine, there are moments his thrusts grow unsteady and out of sync, as if his body was trying to take control and allow itself to set the animalistic pace he so desperately wanted, it’s these exact moments where his patience is tested, where he wants nothing more than to pick up your body and use it as a toy to fill with his semen.

“I wan’ more,'' you moan and he freezes as he feels your hips pathetically lift up to meet his heated thrust, your lower region coming up and rolling, rocking, and sloppily caressing his own pelvis in an attempt to suck him deeper into your sex, this was the first time you’d ever experienced such fullness and pleasure, your mind was numb and you’d forgotten all about previous sorrows, you truly wanted to feel more and more until all you could think of was Ajax’s cock and feeling good, “… wan’na feel my… my husband’s c-cock…?!”

At the title, the ginger truly can’t help the way his hips basically crash into yours, it was purely instinctual – just the sound of your calling him yours and acknowledging him as your husband, even if you’d only gotten engaged less than an hour ago, was enough to drive him mad with lust. He feels his head grow dizzy as thoughts of breeding you and claiming you as his take over. It’s as if a switch is turned on because from that moment onwards the atmosphere changed completely.

His previously considerate and soft strokes become harsh and rapid, you can feel your bed move rhythmically with his thrusts, your whole body jolts as he begins to fuck you with the sole goal of filling you so deeply your body was to be conditioned to respond lewdly to his mere presence. They’re deeper too as he now focused on feeling and claiming as much of your hole as possible, it’s impossible not to feel the way his cock imprinted itself deeply inside your body.

Your hands are desperate to grasp onto something, so you clutch at the sheets under you as tightly as possible, your body feels hot and heavy; your legs twitch and you're left gasping as Childe grabs your hips to adjust your position. You’re still lying down but your back arches itself to allow him easy access to your bottom, it’s surprising how easily he’s able to manhandle your body while never quite pulling out, always making sure to insert himself as quickly as he exited, never truly pulling out all of his dick.

The new position allows for him to hurry his pace, you’re soon moving like a rag doll with no control over your limbs. You’re left a moaning, whining mess as your brain struggles to process the waves of pleasure that bloomed from deep inside your pussy.

You feel your heart beating and you can almost hear the sound of your slick pouring out and lubricating your walls, making it increasingly easy to continue the Fatui’s pounding of your cunt. You’re not too sure if you’re even able to talk, the thought of forming a coherent sentence felt farfetched, all that leaves your lips are whines, sounds of pure pleasure and bliss that sound like an orchestra to Ajax.

He’s not doing much better, his vocabulary seems to have been reduced to declarations of ownership over you, boundless love, and immense pleasure. Your name soon becomes the only coherent sound leaving his lips as he lets his head fall back, his body almost working on autopilot as he allows his hips to ram inside you while his hands focus on teasing your nipples and forcing you to face his reddening face. His chest shines with sweat as he makes sure to fill the room with the sound of your skin meeting him and the growing wet mess between your merging bodies.

You’re both soon leaking arousal, Ajax’s cock starts to slowly redden and grow inside of you as he approaches orgasm, drops of precum start to form on the tip, and your torso starts to heat up as it feels heavier the better you feel; your cum is soon coating his dick white, a clear indicator he’d been inside your drooling cunt. You let go of the sheets and bring a hand to your clit, desperate to bring yourself closer to release.

“Ah-! Just like that,” Ajax exclaims, lurching forward as he feels your walls tighten around his cock, “tighten around me like that, fu–uck! I’m gonna cum, gonna cum in your pussy, gonna shoot my cum inside you… Haha–hah! You’re… you’re gonna be full with my cum, are you ready?”

You nod mindlessly, too busy playing with your clit and pressing kisses into Ajax’s skin. The feeling of being filled by your childhood sweetheart was intoxicating, it left you an overstimulated mess, moaning and whining as you gripped the man’s shoulders to bring him closer to you.

You couldn’t tell who came first, only that your final push was the feeling of Childe’s lips on yours. Maybe it’s the desperation you felt radiating off him as his tongue caressed your own, the way his hands tighten around your body as he begins unloading his cum begins seeping into your pussy and deep inside your body. You’re a shaking mess as you continue riding your orgasm on his dick, prolonging the pleasurable feeling by rocking your hips into his in an almost shy manner, it’s addicting and you’re left gasping and moaning for more. On the other hand, Ajax was trembling on top of you, his arms seemingly giving out as he collapsed into your body, allowing his head to rest beside your own on your pillows while his cock throbbed and painted your insides with his cum. He gives a few weak thrusts, as if making sure that his balls have been thoroughly emptied, before he looks over at your panting face.

You’re trying to catch your breath, desperately trying to calm your heart down into a stable rhythm, while your body twitches in a post-orgasm afterglow. You’re sweating, your eyes shut tight as you feel your pussy swell around Ajax’s dick, which was very much still inside you, and grow sensitive. Even in this state, where you’re too shaken to do anything other than breathe and try to relax your body, he thinks he’s never seen a more beautiful sight in his life.

His hand, which trembled ever so slightly, travels to find yours and intertwine your fingers together. He subconsciously traces your ring-finger, trying to estimate your size, you’d accepted his proposal, going as far as acknowledging him as your husband, it was now his responsibility to find a suitable ring for you, one worthy of resting on your fingers.

He smiles, cuddling deep into your bare skin, pressing his softening cock deeper into you, which earns him a soft whine from you, essentially plugging his semen inside your pussy.

“… I love you, Ajax.” You mumble, eyes still closed shut, your voice drowsy and far away as exhaustion slowly catches up to you. Today had been hard on you, physically and mentally, you’d learnt more than you’d wished to have known, your relationship with those around you now forever changed; you’d agreed to marry your childhood friend in response to your parents’ betrayal, you’d given up your virginity to him and now laid in bed, struggling to know if you’d made the right decisions. An inner turmoil was growing inside you, a storm of emotions you were not ready to deal with, but right now, as you lay beneath the man who’d promised to save you, you decide to rest and let him take care of it, for now. Your breathing slows down, your body finally succumbing to sleep.

You’re too tired to hear the sound of the front door unlocking, your mother’s voice booming across the house as she calls out for you as she ushers your father and guests inside your family house. Ajax makes no move to leave your bed or even remove himself from inside of you, not even as he recognizes the distinct sound of footsteps that belonged to your parents moving around downstairs, grinnin softly as he hears your mother call out for you again, while your father talked to someone and merrily laughed, joking around, easing the tension of the first meeting between two people set up in an arranged marriage – where only one of them knew.

He can hear your parents talking, making an excuse at where you were, he can hear your mother climb up the stairs, he can hear her getting closer to your room.

What a lousy move, he thought to himself, to ambush you one day and try to dump the news on top of you like this, you didn’t even seem aware of guests coming over to your home at all, he frowned; he had expected more of uncle and auntie. Alas, he’d long since given up on them, he just hopes your mother doesn’t scream too loudly when she sees you two in bed together.

He’d hate for you to wake up to such an awful shriek.

There’s a knock on your door, Ajax smiles but makes no move to answer, and then another as your mother calls out your name. She sighs before threatening to open the door, Ajax has to stifle a giggle, pressing his lips into your shoulder to not let out any noise, too afraid to ruin the surprise for his soon to be mother-in-law, she hears no response, she clearly feels agitated and annoyed, he can hear it the way she knocks once more with a stern calling of your name.

There’s a second of silence before the door is swung open.

Ajax looks over to your mother, his coat covering both your naked forms enough that a semblance of modesty is kept but not enough that what happened between the two of you was misunderstood, it would be clear to anyone who could walk in, and he smiles, leaning his body into your own, further embracing you and pushing your sleeping face into his chest, he rolls over as a playful wave is sent her way, she stands frozen in place. Your bottom halves are still covered by the oversized coat, but the bruises and bites that litter your bodies are enough to paint a picture, his hand moves to caress your body, a smug smile takes over his features as he watches your mother try to come up with the right words to say.

“Hello, ma’am,” his tone is playful but the look on his face is one of pure venom, she looks beyond flustered but isn’t able to say a word; too shaken by the sight, the combination of her daughter and a man in bed together and the Harbinger’s insignia that seemed to shine with even the smallest movements from the ginger was enough to send her stumbling back, “it’s been a while, we have a lot to catch up on, huh?”

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esotericalchemist · 4 months ago

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𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 - 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐒𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐎𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐋𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬 *☾

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In astrology, Saturn is known as the "Great Teacher" or "Taskmaster." This planet governs discipline, responsibility, and the lessons learned through hard work and perseverance. Saturn's influence often brings challenges, delays, and restrictions, but it also offers the potential for growth, maturity, and wisdom. Saturn teaches us that lasting success is achieved through patience, careful planning, and a deep understanding of our limitations and strengths. While its lessons can be tough, they are ultimately transformative, helping us build a solid foundation for long-term achievements. In this post, I'll explore the general meaning of Saturn in astrology, discuss how to navigate its challenges, and explain where these lessons can lead in terms of personal and spiritual growth.

𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Aries, it brings together two contrasting energies. Aries, driven by Mars, is all about action, initiative, and a pioneering spirit, while Saturn focuses on discipline, limitations, and patience. These two forces don’t naturally align—Saturn’s cautious, methodical approach can feel at odds with Aries’ impulsive and fast-paced nature. If you have Saturn in Aries, you might find it challenging to assert yourself confidently or feel held back when trying to take initiative. This placement encourages you to find a balance between acting on impulse and planning carefully, teaching you to channel Aries' fiery energy into disciplined and productive efforts.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop patience and self-mastery in expressing your identity and leadership by focusing on building inner confidence through disciplined self-improvement, ultimately resulting in a strong, resilient sense of self that commands respect and authority. 2nd House: The key lesson is to learn financial discipline and align your values with long-term goals by practicing careful financial planning and avoiding impulsive spending, leading to lasting financial stability and a deeper understanding of your values. 3rd House: The focus is on mastering clear and effective communication through precise expression and patient learning, which strengthens your communication skills and fosters solid relationships within your community. 4th House: The lesson involves building emotional security and stability at home by creating a strong, supportive foundation through patience and responsibility, ultimately achieving a secure, nurturing home environment and deep emotional resilience. 5th House: The challenge is to express creativity and love with responsibility and discipline by channeling creative impulses into structured, meaningful projects, which leads to fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and lasting joy in personal relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing discipline in work, health, and daily routines by establishing consistent, healthy habits and a strong work ethic, resulting in success in work and robust health through disciplined daily practices. 7th House: The lesson is to learn patience and commitment in relationships by building them slowly, focusing on trust and mutual responsibility, which can lead to deep, enduring partnerships based on mutual respect and stability. 8th House: The key is to confront fears around transformation and shared resources by approaching change and intimacy with careful planning and emotional resilience, ultimately leading to empowerment through facing challenges, resulting in deep personal and financial security. 9th House: The lesson involves cultivating a disciplined pursuit of higher knowledge and beliefs by approaching learning and travel with patience and a structured mindset, leading to deep wisdom and strong, well-founded beliefs that guide your life. 10th House: The focus is on achieving career goals through persistent, disciplined effort by building your professional reputation slowly and focusing on long-term success, which results in significant career achievements and a lasting, respected legacy. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and ambitions by building meaningful, stable friendships and pursuing goals with long-term planning, ultimately achieving your aspirations and strong, supportive social connections. 12th House: The key is to face inner fears and limitations with discipline by engaging in introspection and spiritual practices with patience and commitment, leading to deep spiritual growth and inner peace through overcoming personal challenges.

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Taurus, it highlights themes around stability, security, material possessions, and values. Taurus, ruled by Venus, is naturally associated with comfort, luxury, and the enjoyment of earthly pleasures. However, Saturn’s influence introduces a more cautious and disciplined approach to these areas. Achieving the comfort and security that Taurus desires often requires significant hard work, patience, and sustained effort under Saturn’s influence. This placement teaches important lessons about building a solid foundation, managing resources wisely, and adopting a consistent, long-term approach to material and financial matters. Saturn in Taurus challenges you to balance your desire for material wealth and comfort with the need for responsibility, careful planning, and long-term vision.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a stable and grounded sense of self by building your identity on solid values and a patient approach to personal growth, leading to a strong, dependable self-image that others trust and respect. 2nd House: You learn to manage finances and resources with discipline by focusing on building wealth slowly through careful planning and saving, ultimately achieving long-term financial security and a deep sense of self-worth. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating patience and consistency in communication and learning by approaching education and interactions with a steady, practical mindset, resulting in strong communication skills and reliable, well-developed knowledge. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure and stable home life by creating a solid emotional and physical foundation for your family, which leads to a deeply rooted sense of security and a harmonious home environment. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love in a stable, consistent manner by channeling your creative talents into enduring projects and cultivating lasting relationships, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creativity and stable, loving relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a consistent routine and disciplined approach to work and health by establishing and maintaining steady habits in your daily life and job, resulting in career success and robust health through a balanced lifestyle. 7th House: The lesson is to learn patience and responsibility in partnerships by building relationships on a foundation of trust, loyalty, and long-term commitment, leading to stable, enduring partnerships that bring mutual security and comfort. 8th House: You confront challenges related to shared resources and deep emotional bonds by approaching financial and emotional matters with caution and responsibility, leading to empowerment through managing shared resources wisely and achieving emotional stability. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a grounded and practical approach to higher learning and beliefs by pursuing knowledge and spiritual growth with patience and real-world application, resulting in deep wisdom and well-established beliefs that guide your life with stability. 10th House: You achieve career success through persistent, disciplined effort by building your professional life on a foundation of reliability and long-term goals, leading to significant, lasting career achievements and a strong professional reputation. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and long-term goals by pursuing friendships and ambitions with a steady, consistent approach, resulting in the fulfillment of your aspirations and strong, supportive social connections. 12th House: You learn to find stability and security within yourself, even in solitude, by engaging in introspection and spiritual practices with a focus on inner peace and self-sufficiency, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner security that transcends external circumstances.

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Gemini, it introduces a disciplined, cautious, and sometimes restrictive energy to the areas of communication, intellect, and adaptability. Gemini, ruled by Mercury, typically thrives on quick thinking, versatility, and the exchange of ideas, but Saturn’s influence tends to slow these processes down, urging you to be more deliberate in your thoughts, communication, and learning. This placement often teaches the value of clear and precise communication, the benefits of structured and methodical thinking, and the necessity of developing patience in both learning and social interactions. Saturn in Gemini challenges you to transform your intellectual skills into something solid and dependable, emphasizing depth and substance over superficiality in all matters related to the mind and communication.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop well-structured, clear self-expression by refining your communication style and presenting yourself with clarity and confidence, leading to a strong, articulate identity that earns respect for its depth and consistency. 2nd House: You learn to communicate your values and manage financial matters with care by approaching finances and self-worth with a practical, well-considered mindset, resulting in financial stability and a secure sense of self rooted in clear values and effective communication. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and thoughtful communication and learning by taking the time to master communication skills and develop well-organized knowledge, leading to strong, reliable communication abilities and a reputation for being well-informed. 4th House: The lesson involves building a stable, communicative home environment by fostering open and structured communication within your family and creating a mentally stimulating home life, resulting in a secure and intellectually rich home that promotes comfort and growth. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and joy in a disciplined, thoughtful manner by channeling creative energies into structured projects and approaching love and leisure with thoughtful engagement, leading to fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and meaningful relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing disciplined communication and adaptability in daily work and health routines by establishing structured work habits and clear communication in the workplace, leading to career success and improved health through well-organized routines. 7th House: The lesson is to learn patience and responsibility in communication within partnerships by building relationships on clear, thoughtful communication and mutual respect, resulting in stable, enduring partnerships characterized by deep understanding. 8th House: You confront challenges related to communication about shared resources and deep emotions by approaching sensitive topics with caution and thoughtful communication, leading to empowerment through wise resource management and emotional resilience. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined approach to higher learning and philosophical communication by pursuing knowledge and spiritual growth with patience and clear expression, resulting in deep wisdom and a solid philosophical foundation that guides your life. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined communication and structured intellectual work by building your professional life on clear, organized communication and long-term projects, leading to significant career achievements and a strong reputation for clarity and intellect. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and intellectual pursuits by pursuing friendships and ambitions with consistent communication and a focus on long-term goals, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and intellectually stimulating connections. 12th House: You learn to find mental clarity and discipline in solitude and spiritual practices by engaging in introspection and spiritual practices with a focus on structured thinking, leading to deep spiritual growth and inner peace that transcends external distractions.

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Cancer, it introduces a disciplined and sometimes restrictive energy to the emotional and nurturing qualities that define this sign. Cancer, governed by the Moon, is deeply connected to emotions, home, family, and a sense of security. Saturn’s presence in this sign can create a tension between the natural inclination for emotional expression and the need for control and stability. This placement often brings important lessons about managing emotions, developing emotional resilience, and finding a sense of security within yourself rather than depending solely on external factors. Saturn in Cancer challenges you to build a strong emotional foundation, emphasizing the importance of responsibility in caring for both yourself and others while navigating the complexities of feelings and attachments.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop emotional resilience and a grounded sense of self-expression by cultivating inner strength and learning to express your emotions with maturity and control, resulting in a strong, stable self-image that balances emotional depth with responsibility. 2nd House: You learn to manage emotional security and financial stability with care by focusing on building a solid financial foundation and nurturing your sense of self-worth, leading to long-term financial security and a deep sense of self rooted in emotional stability. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and thoughtful emotional communication by approaching interactions with emotional intelligence and care, fostering meaningful connections, and resulting in strong, emotionally intelligent communication skills and reliable relationships. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure, stable home life and managing family responsibilities with care by creating a nurturing, emotionally secure home environment through patience and dedication, leading to a deeply rooted sense of security and a harmonious family life. 5th House: You learn to express love and creativity in a disciplined, emotionally aware manner by channeling your emotional and creative energies into structured, meaningful projects and relationships, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and emotionally rich, stable relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing disciplined emotional routines and a responsible approach to work and health by establishing consistent habits that support both your emotional well-being and physical health, resulting in career success and improved health through emotionally balanced, well-organized routines. 7th House: The lesson is to learn patience and responsibility in emotionally charged partnerships by building relationships on a foundation of emotional maturity, trust, and mutual respect, leading to stable, enduring partnerships characterized by deep emotional understanding and mutual support. 8th House: You confront emotional fears and challenges related to intimacy and shared resources by approaching deep emotional issues and financial matters with caution and resilience, leading to empowerment through managing these challenges wisely and achieving profound personal growth. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined approach to emotional and philosophical growth by pursuing knowledge and spiritual development with emotional maturity and a focus on deeper understanding, resulting in deep wisdom and a solid emotional foundation that guides your life. 10th House: You achieve career success through emotional discipline and responsible leadership by building your professional life on a foundation of emotional intelligence and long-term planning, leading to significant career achievements and a strong professional reputation for maturity and responsibility. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in emotionally driven social networks and long-term goals by pursuing friendships and ambitions with emotional intelligence and a focus on nurturing supportive connections, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and strong, supportive social networks. 12th House: You learn to find emotional security and peace in solitude and spiritual practices by engaging in introspection with a focus on emotional healing and inner stability, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner peace that transcends external circumstances.

𝐋𝐞𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Leo, it introduces a disciplined and sometimes restrictive energy to the self-expressive, creative, and leadership-oriented qualities of this sign. Leo, ruled by the Sun, is naturally associated with confidence, creativity, and a strong desire to lead and be recognized. However, Saturn's influence can make it challenging to express these qualities freely, often teaching important lessons about the responsible use of power, the need for humility, and the value of earning respect through consistent effort rather than simply expecting it. This placement may also bring a sense of caution or hesitation in self-expression, making it essential to develop inner confidence through discipline and perseverance. Saturn in Leo challenges you to balance your desire for recognition with the maturity and responsibility required for true leadership.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop disciplined self-expression and leadership by cultivating confidence through steady personal growth and responsible use of creative energy, leading to a strong, respected presence that combines creativity with maturity and integrity. 2nd House: You learn to manage resources and self-worth with care and responsibility by focusing on building financial stability and a secure sense of self through disciplined efforts, resulting in long-term financial security and a deep sense of self-worth based on real accomplishments. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and confident communication and creative thinking by approaching learning and communication with patience, ensuring your ideas are expressed clearly and confidently, which leads to strong communication skills and a reputation for thoughtful, creative expression. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure and stable home life with responsible leadership within the family by creating a nurturing, supportive environment through disciplined efforts and emotional maturity, leading to a harmonious and respected family life. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love in a disciplined, responsible manner by channeling your creative and romantic energies into structured, meaningful activities and relationships, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and stable, deeply meaningful relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support your professional goals and physical well-being, resulting in success in your career and improved health through disciplined, creative work habits. 7th House: The lesson is to learn patience and responsibility in partnerships by balancing leadership with cooperation, building relationships on mutual respect, responsible self-expression, and a balance of power, leading to stable, enduring partnerships. 8th House: You confront challenges related to power, control, and shared resources with responsibility by approaching financial and emotional matters with caution and disciplined self-expression, leading to empowerment through responsible management and deep emotional resilience. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined approach to philosophical and creative growth by pursuing knowledge and spiritual development with responsibility, resulting in deep wisdom and a well-developed philosophical outlook that guides your life with integrity and creativity. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined leadership and responsible self-expression by building your professional life on a foundation of mature leadership and steady effort, leading to significant career achievements and a strong professional reputation. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and creative ambitions by pursuing friendships and long-term goals with a disciplined approach, resulting in the fulfillment of your aspirations and strong, supportive social connections. 12th House: You learn to express your creativity and leadership in solitude and spiritual practices by engaging in introspection with a focus on disciplined self-expression and inner growth, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner confidence that transcends external recognition.

𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Virgo, it highlights themes of precision, practicality, and service. Virgo, ruled by Mercury, naturally gravitates toward analytical thinking, attention to detail, and a strong work ethic. Saturn’s influence in Virgo intensifies these traits but also introduces challenges such as perfectionism, over-criticism, and a tendency to become overly fixated on flaws and imperfections. This placement often teaches important lessons about balancing efficiency with flexibility and managing responsibilities in a way that promotes both productivity and self-care. Saturn in Virgo challenges you to adopt a disciplined and organized approach to life while learning to accept imperfections and avoid getting lost in minor details that may not serve the bigger picture.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a disciplined and precise approach to self-expression by cultivating a strong personal identity through attention to detail and self-improvement, leading to a well-organized, respected presence that combines practicality with confidence. 2nd House: You learn to manage your resources and self-worth with meticulous care and responsibility by focusing on building financial stability and self-esteem through disciplined work and careful planning, resulting in long-term financial security and a deep sense of self-worth based on practical achievements. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and precise communication and analytical thinking by approaching learning and communication with clarity, accuracy, and practical application, leading to strong communication skills and a reputation for being thorough and reliable. 4th House: The lesson involves building a stable and organized home life with careful attention to detail by creating a well-maintained, supportive environment through disciplined efforts, leading to a harmonious and well-structured home life that provides comfort and security. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love with discipline and attention to detail by channeling your energies into structured, meaningful activities that emphasize quality over quantity, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and stable, thoughtful relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support your professional goals and physical well-being, paying attention to details, resulting in career success and improved health through well-organized habits. 7th House: The lesson is to learn patience and responsibility in partnerships by balancing criticism with support, building relationships on mutual respect and practical cooperation, leading to stable, enduring partnerships characterized by shared responsibilities. 8th House: You confront challenges related to control, shared resources, and deep analysis by approaching financial and emotional matters with caution, meticulous planning, and an analytical mindset, leading to empowerment through responsible management and a deep understanding of complex issues. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined approach to philosophical and analytical growth by pursuing knowledge and spiritual development with practical application and attention to detail, resulting in deep wisdom and a well-structured philosophical outlook. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined work and attention to detail by building your professional life on careful planning, organization, and a commitment to excellence, leading to significant career achievements and a strong reputation for reliability and precision. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and analytical pursuits by pursuing friendships and long-term goals with a disciplined approach to organization and practical analysis, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and strong, supportive social connections. 12th House: You learn to apply discipline and analysis in solitude and spiritual practices by engaging in introspection with a focus on self-improvement and practical growth, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner peace and clarity from disciplined self-reflection.

𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Libra, it introduces a structured and disciplined influence to the areas of relationships, balance, and fairness. Libra, ruled by Venus, is naturally linked to harmony, partnerships, and a strong sense of justice. Saturn's presence in Libra is particularly potent, as Saturn is exalted in this sign, meaning it operates very effectively here. This placement often teaches valuable lessons about the importance of responsibility and commitment in relationships, the need to establish clear boundaries, and the ongoing challenge of maintaining balance in various aspects of life. Saturn in Libra encourages you to approach partnerships and social interactions with maturity and fairness, highlighting the significance of long-term commitment, diplomacy, and the cultivation of stable, enduring relationships.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a balanced, disciplined approach to self-expression and relationships by cultivating a strong sense of fairness and responsibility in your interactions, leading to a respected presence that harmonizes personal needs with a commitment to fairness in relationships. 2nd House: You learn to manage resources and values with a focus on balance and fairness by approaching financial matters and self-worth with responsibility and a commitment to long-term stability, resulting in financial security and a deep sense of self-worth rooted in balanced values. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and fair communication and thinking by expressing ideas with clarity, diplomacy, and fairness in all interactions, leading to strong communication skills and a reputation for being thoughtful, fair-minded, and reliable. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure and balanced home life by creating a harmonious environment through disciplined efforts and a commitment to fairness within the family, resulting in a stable, peaceful home life and strong, respectful family relationships. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love with a sense of responsibility and balance by channeling energies into structured, meaningful activities that emphasize fairness and commitment, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and stable, harmonious relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined, balanced approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support professional goals and physical well-being with an emphasis on fairness and service, leading to career success and improved health through well-balanced habits. 7th House: The lesson is to understand the importance of commitment and fairness in partnerships by building relationships on mutual respect and responsibility, leading to stable, enduring partnerships characterized by deep mutual respect, fairness, and long-term stability. 8th House: You confront challenges related to control, intimacy, and shared resources with fairness by approaching deep emotional and financial matters with diplomacy and balance, leading to empowerment through responsible management and deep emotional connections built on fairness and trust. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined, balanced approach to philosophical and spiritual growth by pursuing knowledge with a focus on fairness and justice, resulting in deep wisdom and a well-developed philosophical outlook that guides your life with integrity and balance. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined leadership and a commitment to fairness by building your professional life on fairness, justice, and long-term planning, leading to significant career achievements and a strong reputation for balanced leadership. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks by pursuing friendships and long-term goals with a disciplined approach to fairness and cooperation, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and strong, supportive social connections built on mutual respect. 12th House: You learn to apply discipline and balance in solitude and spiritual practices by engaging in introspection with a focus on inner balance, fairness, and self-reflection, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner peace and balance from disciplined self-reflection.

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Scorpio, it brings a disciplined, intense, and transformative energy to a sign known for its emotional depth, intensity, and focus on power and transformation. Scorpio, ruled by Mars and co-ruled by Pluto, is connected with themes of regeneration, secrets, and control. Saturn's influence in Scorpio often presents challenges related to managing deep-seated fears, navigating power dynamics, and dealing with emotional complexities. This placement teaches crucial lessons about developing emotional resilience, confronting and overcoming fears, and the responsible use of power. Saturn in Scorpio pushes you to explore the depths of your psyche, confront your inner shadows, and emerge stronger and more disciplined, turning challenges into opportunities for profound personal growth.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a strong, resilient sense of self that can handle intensity and transformation by cultivating emotional discipline and navigating personal challenges with strength and control, leading to a powerful self-identity that commands respect and handles life’s challenges with grace. 2nd House: You learn to manage resources and values with emotional depth and security by approaching financial matters and self-worth with discipline, focusing on long-term security and emotional stability, resulting in financial security and a deep sense of self-worth rooted in resilience. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and intense communication and thinking by expressing ideas with clarity, depth, and a strategic mindset, leading to strong communication skills and a reputation for being insightful, strategic, and emotionally intelligent. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure and emotionally resilient home life by creating a stable, supportive environment through disciplined efforts, resulting in a deeply rooted sense of security and a strong, emotionally stable family life. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love with intensity and responsibility by channeling creative and romantic energies into structured, meaningful activities that emphasize emotional depth, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and stable, deeply meaningful relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support professional goals and emotional health, leading to career success and improved health through emotionally aware, balanced habits. 7th House: The lesson is to understand the importance of commitment, depth, and emotional resilience in partnerships by building relationships on trust, responsibility, and a willingness to confront and resolve emotional challenges, resulting in stable, enduring partnerships characterized by deep emotional connections. 8th House: You confront challenges related to control, intimacy, and transformation by approaching deep emotional and financial matters with caution and discipline, leading to empowerment through responsible management of shared resources and profound personal transformation. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined, transformative approach to philosophical and spiritual growth by pursuing knowledge with deep understanding and resilience, resulting in deep wisdom and a well-developed philosophical outlook that guides your life through transformation. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined, intense focus and responsible leadership by building your professional life on emotional strength, strategic thinking, and commitment to transformation, leading to significant career achievements and a reputation for resilience and depth. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and transformative goals by pursuing friendships and long-term goals with emotional depth and shared transformation, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and strong, supportive connections. 12th House: You learn to apply discipline and transformation in solitude and spiritual practices by engaging in introspection with a focus on emotional healing and inner strength, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner peace through disciplined self-reflection and resilience.

𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Sagittarius, it brings a disciplined and structured energy to a sign naturally associated with expansion, philosophy, and the quest for truth. Sagittarius, ruled by Jupiter, is characterized by its optimism, love of adventure, and pursuit of higher knowledge. However, Saturn's influence in this sign introduces challenges around balancing the desire for freedom and exploration with the need for discipline, responsibility, and focus. This placement often teaches valuable lessons about the importance of patience in the pursuit of wisdom, the necessity of grounding expansive ideas in reality, and the challenge of maintaining optimism and faith even when faced with obstacles. Saturn in Sagittarius encourages you to develop a mature, disciplined approach to your beliefs, goals, and personal growth, urging you to combine your love for exploration with a practical and responsible mindset.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a disciplined approach to self-expression and personal growth by cultivating patience and responsibility in how you present yourself and pursue your goals, leading to a strong, respected self-identity that balances adventure with maturity and wisdom. 2nd House: You learn to manage resources and values with discipline and a focus on long-term goals by approaching financial matters and self-worth with responsibility and grounding your optimism in practical plans, resulting in long-term financial stability and a deep sense of self-worth. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and thoughtful communication and learning by expressing ideas with clarity and a structured approach, balancing curiosity with responsibility, leading to strong communication skills and a reputation for being wise and reliable. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure and stable home life with philosophical and spiritual grounding by creating a harmonious environment through disciplined efforts, resulting in a stable, peaceful home enriched by shared beliefs and a sense of adventure. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love with discipline and a focus on higher ideals by channeling energies into structured, meaningful activities that emphasize growth and wisdom, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and meaningful relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support professional goals and physical health, emphasizing higher purpose and integrity, leading to career success and improved health aligned with your beliefs. 7th House: The lesson is to understand the importance of commitment, honesty, and shared values in partnerships by building relationships on mutual respect and a shared sense of purpose, resulting in stable, enduring partnerships characterized by deep mutual respect and long-term growth. 8th House: You confront challenges related to control, shared resources, and philosophical transformation by approaching emotional and financial matters with caution, discipline, and a focus on growth, leading to empowerment through responsible management and profound personal transformation. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined approach to philosophical, spiritual, and intellectual growth by pursuing knowledge with structured learning and practical application, resulting in deep wisdom and a well-developed philosophical outlook that guides your life with clarity. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined, ethical leadership and a commitment to long-term goals by building your professional life on integrity and higher ideals, leading to significant career achievements and a strong reputation for wisdom and ethical leadership. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and the pursuit of idealistic goals by pursuing friendships and aspirations with discipline and a shared vision, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and strong, supportive social connections. 12th House: You learn to apply discipline and philosophical understanding in solitude and spiritual practices by engaging in introspection with a focus on inner growth and the application of higher wisdom, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner peace and clarity.

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Capricorn, it resides in its own sign, where its energy is particularly strong and functions naturally. Capricorn, ruled by Saturn, embodies qualities such as discipline, ambition, structure, and a strong sense of duty. With Saturn in Capricorn, the emphasis is on hard work, responsibility, and long-term planning. This placement teaches important lessons about the value of perseverance, the need to work within established frameworks, and the significance of building a solid foundation for future success. Saturn in Capricorn challenges you to approach life with patience and discipline, to set realistic goals, and to steadily work toward achieving them, often by overcoming obstacles and demonstrating your endurance and commitment.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a disciplined and responsible approach to self-expression and personal identity by cultivating a strong sense of self through steady growth, focusing on long-term goals and resilience, leading to a respected presence that combines ambition with maturity and a solid, enduring sense of self. 2nd House: You learn to manage resources and values with discipline and a focus on long-term financial stability by approaching financial matters and self-worth with responsibility, resulting in long-term financial security and a deep sense of self-worth rooted in hard work and practical achievements. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and practical communication and thinking by expressing ideas with clarity and structure, and approaching learning with patience and thoroughness, leading to strong communication skills and a reputation for being reliable, thoughtful, and pragmatic. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure and stable home life with a focus on responsibility and tradition by creating a well-structured, supportive home environment through disciplined efforts, resulting in a stable, harmonious home life and strong family relationships rooted in respect and mutual responsibility. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love with discipline and a focus on lasting value by channeling creative and romantic energies into structured, meaningful activities that emphasize long-term commitment, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and stable, deeply meaningful relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support professional goals and physical health, emphasizing responsibility and structure, leading to career success and improved health through well-organized, disciplined habits. 7th House: The lesson is to understand the importance of commitment, responsibility, and stability in partnerships by building relationships on mutual respect, duty, and a commitment to long-term growth, resulting in stable, enduring partnerships characterized by deep mutual respect and shared goals. 8th House: You confront challenges related to control, shared resources, and deep emotional responsibility by approaching financial and emotional matters with caution and discipline, focusing on building long-term security and trust, leading to empowerment through responsible management and profound personal growth. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined, structured approach to philosophical, spiritual, and intellectual growth by pursuing knowledge and spiritual development with practical application and long-term goals, resulting in deep wisdom and a well-developed philosophical outlook that guides your life with maturity and discipline. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined, structured leadership and a commitment to long-term goals by building your professional life on integrity, responsibility, and hard work, leading to significant career achievements and a strong professional reputation for leadership and endurance. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and the pursuit of long-term, collective goals by pursuing friendships and aspirations with discipline and a focus on collective growth, resulting in the fulfillment of your aspirations and strong, supportive social networks. 12th House: You learn to apply discipline and responsibility in solitude, spiritual practices, and the management of hidden challenges by engaging in introspection with a focus on self-discipline and inner strength, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner peace and resilience through disciplined self-reflection.

𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Aquarius, it highlights the importance of discipline, responsibility, and structure within the realms of innovation, social causes, and intellectual pursuits. Aquarius, traditionally ruled by Saturn and co-ruled by Uranus, is associated with humanitarian ideals, technological advancements, and a progressive mindset. Saturn’s influence in Aquarius emphasizes the need for structure and long-term planning in these areas, urging you to balance your desire for freedom and progress with the necessity of rules, order, and accountability. This placement often teaches valuable lessons about the significance of working within a collective framework, the responsibility of contributing to society, and the discipline needed to turn innovative ideas into practical reality. Saturn in Aquarius challenges you to responsibly push boundaries and contribute meaningfully to the greater good.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a disciplined approach to self-expression by balancing individuality with social responsibility, cultivating a strong, unique identity while considering the impact on the broader community, leading to a respected presence that combines personal authenticity with a commitment to social progress. 2nd House: You learn to manage resources and values with a focus on innovation and long-term stability by approaching financial matters and self-worth with responsibility and grounding innovative ideas in practical strategies, resulting in long-term financial security and a deep sense of self-worth rooted in contributions to collective well-being. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined, forward-thinking communication and intellectual pursuits by expressing ideas with clarity, structure, and a commitment to social progress, leading to strong communication skills and a reputation for being innovative, thoughtful, and reliable. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure, forward-looking home life with a focus on social responsibility and progress by creating a stable, supportive environment through disciplined efforts, resulting in a harmonious home that encourages individual freedom within a structured family setting. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love with discipline and a focus on innovation and long-term impact by channeling energies into structured, meaningful activities that emphasize originality and responsibility, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and innovative relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined, innovative approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support professional goals and physical health, with an emphasis on efficiency and social impact, leading to career success and improved health through innovative habits. 7th House: The lesson is to understand the importance of commitment, innovation, and social responsibility in partnerships by building relationships on mutual respect, shared goals, and a commitment to long-term stability and social progress, resulting in stable, enduring partnerships characterized by innovation and shared contributions to society. 8th House: You confront challenges related to control, shared resources, and transformative innovation by approaching financial and emotional matters with discipline and a focus on collective growth, leading to empowerment through responsible management of shared resources and profound personal transformation. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined, forward-thinking approach to philosophical, spiritual, and intellectual growth by pursuing knowledge and spiritual development with innovation, social responsibility, and structured learning, resulting in deep wisdom and a philosophical outlook that guides your life with clarity and innovation. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined, innovative leadership and a commitment to social progress by building your professional life on integrity, responsibility, and a dedication to long-term success through innovative solutions, leading to significant career achievements and a strong reputation for leadership and social responsibility. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and the pursuit of idealistic goals by pursuing friendships and aspirations with a disciplined approach to innovation and collective growth, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and strong, supportive social connections. 12th House: You learn to apply discipline and innovative thinking in solitude, spiritual practices, and the management of hidden challenges by engaging in introspection with a focus on self-discipline and inner growth, leading to deep spiritual growth and resilience through disciplined self-reflection and a commitment to personal and social transformation.

𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

When Saturn is in Pisces, it introduces a structured and disciplined energy to the fluid, intuitive, and spiritual nature of this Water sign. Pisces, ruled by Jupiter and Neptune, is connected with dreams, imagination, compassion, and a profound link to the collective unconscious. Saturn's influence in Pisces brings challenges related to grounding these ethereal qualities into practical reality. This placement often teaches important lessons about setting boundaries, managing escapist tendencies, and applying discipline to spiritual and creative pursuits. Saturn in Pisces encourages you to balance your sensitivity and idealism with the need for structure, responsibility, and perseverance, ultimately guiding you to turn your dreams into tangible achievements.

Through the houses:

1st House: The lesson is to develop a disciplined approach to self-expression by balancing intuition with practicality, cultivating a strong sense of self grounded in realistic goals and disciplined action, leading to a respected presence that combines sensitivity with strength and the ability to manifest dreams into reality. 2nd House: You learn to manage resources and values with a focus on spiritual and material balance by approaching financial matters and self-worth with responsibility, resulting in long-term financial stability and a deep sense of self-worth rooted in a balanced approach to material and spiritual values. 3rd House: The focus is on cultivating disciplined and thoughtful communication by expressing ideas with a blend of creativity and practicality, ensuring that your message is inspired and grounded, leading to strong communication skills and a reputation for being insightful, imaginative, and reliable. 4th House: The lesson involves building a secure and spiritually fulfilling home life by creating a harmonious environment through disciplined efforts, resulting in a stable, peaceful home that provides emotional support and fosters spiritual well-being. 5th House: You learn to express creativity and love with discipline and a focus on meaningful, inspired work by channeling energies into structured, meaningful activities that blend imagination with responsibility, bringing fulfillment through disciplined creative expression and stable, deeply meaningful relationships. 6th House: The focus is on developing a disciplined, compassionate approach to work and health by establishing consistent routines that support professional goals and physical health, emphasizing spiritual and emotional balance, leading to career success and improved health through compassionate habits. 7th House: The lesson is to understand the importance of commitment, compassion, and emotional boundaries in partnerships by building relationships on mutual respect and shared spiritual growth, resulting in stable, enduring partnerships characterized by deep mutual respect and compassion. 8th House: You confront challenges related to emotional depth, shared resources, and spiritual transformation by approaching financial and emotional matters with caution and discipline, focusing on deep emotional and spiritual healing, leading to empowerment through responsible management and profound personal transformation. 9th House: The focus is on cultivating a disciplined, spiritually grounded approach to philosophical and intellectual growth by pursuing knowledge with a balance of faith and practical application, resulting in deep wisdom and a well-developed philosophical outlook that guides your life with clarity and compassion. 10th House: You achieve career success through disciplined, compassionate leadership and a commitment to long-term spiritual and professional goals by building your professional life on integrity and responsibility, leading to significant career achievements and a strong reputation for leadership and spiritual integrity. 11th House: The lesson is to develop patience and responsibility in social networks and the pursuit of collective, idealistic goals by pursuing friendships and aspirations with a disciplined approach to collective growth, resulting in fulfilled aspirations and strong, supportive social connections built on shared spiritual goals. 12th House: You learn to apply discipline and spiritual understanding in solitude, introspection, and the management of hidden challenges by engaging in introspection with a focus on self-discipline and inner growth, leading to deep spiritual growth and a sense of inner peace through disciplined self-reflection and spiritual practice.

Masterlist

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