#practical advice

[breelandwalker]

so, I know you've been vending at a lot of different craft fairs and witch markets for awhile now (sadly, too far away for me to attend!). would you happen to have any tips for someone looking to do the same at their local fairs? thanks!!!!!! ❤️

Sure! To start, brush up on three things - networking, recordkeeping, and people skills. Get an idea of what's going in on your area, talk to the organizers, see what the particulars are for the events. Here are some questions to ask:

What's the venue like? (indoors, outdoors, parking, accessibility)

Do I need to bring my own table and chairs?

Is there electricity / wifi available?

What is the table fee?

When is the event and how long does it run?

Is there a theme or target audience?

Is there advertising being done for the event? (Signal boost!)

Based on the answers you get, you can start putting your stock and setup together.

Do as much as you can WAY ahead of time. If you need to make things, start now. If you need to buy things, give yourself at least a month before an event to make sure everything arrives in time. Get yourself a 6-foot folding table and a comfortable folding chair or camp chair for events where they're not provided by the venue. Sign for Paypal, Venmo, and Cashapp as well as a card payment processing service like Square to give your customers the most payment options possible. And of course, plan to carry some small bills for cash patrons. (You don't need a register or cashbox, a simple bag of appropriate size will do. I literally use a pencil case that says Resting Witch Face. Works great.)

You'll want to get some displays for your merchandise. The type will vary depending on what you have, but it should be simply and sturdy and preferably easy to pack in and out. Vertical visibility is important at these events, so if you can find some kind of stand or tiered display, that will help you get noticed. I'd also suggest some simple clear plastic standups that you can put a printout price list and a basic sign in. A table banner helps people notice your table from afar and you should definitely have business cards to hand out with your shop info and socials. (I use Vistaprint for both.) Decorations are nice, but don't overload the table with them. They should augment your setup, not overwhelm it.

You may also want to get an 8x8 or 10x10 popup canopy and canopy weights if you plan to do outdoor events. Also, GET A COLLAPSIBLE WAGON. Best investment I ever made was a $45 collapsible wagon. It fits in my backseat and makes hauling things in and out of venues SO much easier.

Keep track of everything you spend related to your endeavors, including event fees, supplies, stock, setup items, displays, signage, business cards, and gas and food on the day. Keep those receipts - you can deduct them on your taxes later to offset your earnings. (Because registering as a business can be a pain and comes with fees, but if you don't do it, you may owe money for not collecting sales tax. Put aside some money for that tax bill, just in case.)

Prep your setup and stock the night before an event. Check your merch, charge your card reader (and bring a fully-charged auxiliary power pack and cord, just in case), make any updates to your inventory or pricing that you need to. It really cuts down on stress when you're loading up if you know you've already get everything set. I suggest reusable shopping bags or clear plastic bins to make things easy to haul, plus they can double as storage.

Plan to leave as early as you need to in order to account for traffic and pit stops. Pick an outfit ahead of time so you don't have to dither over clothes. It should be something appropriate for the event and the weather that looks neat and clean and is easy to move around in, including comfortable shoes. (Look to other vendors for examples.)

Make sure you bring water, snacks, and anything you'll need to get through the day, i.e. medicine (headache pills and stomach medicine at minimum), energy drinks, a fan for hot days, an extra layer for cold ones, etc. Get to the venue as early as the organizers allow. The more time you have to park, load in, and set up, the less stressed you'll be. Make sure things are arranged in a way that's accessible and makes sense. Place signage where necessary to explain items and pricing.

GO TO THE BATHROOM BEFORE THE EVENT BEGINS. TRUST ME.

During the event, you're gonna have to do a LOT of socializing, so prepare for that as best you can. Try to stand if possible when there's a lot of foot traffic so you're more noticeable. Be personable - you don't have to grin constantly, just try to keep a pleasant expression and greet people as they pass, especially if they look in your direction. Don't be afraid to invite passersby over if they pause to check out your setup. Welcome them in, invite them to check out your stuff, and let them know you're happy to answer questions. (And ALL questions are good questions. There are no dumb questions. Even if the question is the dumbest thing you've ever heard or it's the fifteenth time you've been asked that day.) Chat and banter a bit where possible. If you can get people smiling or laughing, they're more likely to stick around and possibly purchase your wares. Make sure as many people as possible take your card when they leave.

Yes, you will be exhausted when the event is over, even if you're a naturally outgoing person, and you'll still have to break everything down, haul it out, load your vehicle, and drive home. If you happen to have somebody who can help you out, that really comes in handy.

In any case, know your own capabilities and personal limits and plan for that when you're deciding where to vend. If a venue is too far away for your comfort or doesn't have what you need or the table fee is too high (be wary of any thing over $75 for a single day event), don't sign up. If an event is too long or too far outside your target audience, don't sign up. If you don't have an appropriate setup or don't have the stock / can't get it in time, don't sign up. If something about the event or the venue or the organizers rubs you the wrong way, DON'T SIGN UP. Talk to other local vendors to get an idea of where to go and what to expect. Most will tell you right away what works, what's good, and what to steer clear of.

This is all just the basics. You'll learn a lot more when you start to vend, as far as what your individual needs are, where to go to find reliable business, and how best to connect with local venues and customers. Keep records of everything you do (spreadsheets are your friend!), network with organizers and other vendors, and practice that sociable game face.

And trust me - if a disorganized introvert with social anxiety and ADHD and absolutely NO sales experience can figure out to do this, I think pretty much anyone has a chance.

Good luck!!!! 😁

[lacilou]

[sanctity-in-sexuality]

Fair warning, this may be a heavy topic... but do you have any advice or suggested readings for individuals/couples with a history of sexual trauma? Sadly I have experienced past sexual abuse and assault involving both extremely painful penetration and disordered degrading practices. I've been open about this with my boyfriend (who has been nothing but an amazing non-judgmental and comforting listener) and we've discussed that we have both wondered about whether we may need to approach things in a special way once we are married. By the grace of God I'm grateful that my everyday mental health is actually exceptionally good for the severity of my past trauma, but we wonder if entering in a sexual context would dig up old, highly negative feelings. I guess for me it also doesn't feel like something I'd be able to just sort of naturally figure out... I don't want like a graphic gratuitous description but I wish I had a more specific concept of how it "starts happening" because my experience was so abnormal and I have no idea how couples ease into things slowly and safely, and not having any clue is sort of scary. This is a topic that's usually too personal and dark to broadly ask about, but I'd appreciate any guidance beyond general "be loving and patient" advice that applies to everyone... Thanks for reading <3

First off, I am so sorry that you experienced such a nightmare. I would hesitate to even call it sex, and mentally separating the two might help you. It is so wonderful that you're in a supportive place to work through it.

I do not have experience helping others with past sexual trauma, so my advice may not be well-curated to your situation. However, I can give some more broad advice about easing into it (and this doubles for anyone who's anxious about marital sex).

After you've made vows, it's okay to take it slow and wait until you're comfortable to try sex. That might be days, it might be months. It's more common than you'd think.

Sex is incredibly vulnerable. Easing into it is merely taking small steps of vulnerability at a time. Cuddling in pajamas, undressing/dressing where your spouse can see, taking a shower together. Just getting used to seeing each other naked. Then move on to gentle but intimate touches, such as kisses on the neck or thighs. The important thing is to communicate honestly and constantly; tell your spouse immediately if something makes you uncomfortable, if it hurts, or if it feels nice. Ask your spouse to consistently check in with you, too.

In regards to penetration, it honestly depends a lot on how tight the woman is and how large the penis is, but it does tend to hurt a bit at first. This could be triggering for you. A lot of the discomfort is friction. Use lube, trust me (we just use coconut oil). Personally, even 2.5years into marriage, I'm still too tight usually, and we have a practice where my husband very slowly eases into me like 1/2in at a time - then he pauses, lets my body adjust to it, and waits for me to give a go-ahead to continue. There's absolutely no shame if you husband needs to do something similar to make you feel safe and comfortable. And there's no shame if you have to call it quits and try again.

As for how it "starts happening"... Imma be frank, a lot of the times married couples just ask each other. Once you're practiced and established the art, you'll get moments where "one thing leads to another" or whatever, but (a) when you're starting out and don't know the rules/language it's easier to just verbally confirm, and (b) even practiced, it's still sometimes easier to just ask. E.g., "Do you want to make time for sex tonight?", "I'm in the mood, want to take this farther?", or "Let's try penetration now".

Again, the main thing is to communicate. Over-communicate. Tell your spouse ahead of time what your expectations are for having sex the first time (for you, very slow and with an emphasis on gentleness). It may take time before your negative associations with sex as degrading are replaced with positive ones that make you feel cherished. It may not be enjoyable at first while you're learning to overcome that but it should feel safe and comfortable.

I've recommended this before, but I honestly think reading the Song of Songs can be very healing for those struggling with negative associations with sex. It is a really beautiful depiction of how sexual intimacy should be experienced between spouses.

I hope this was helpful, feel free to follow up with any specific questions. God bless!

[theehorsepusssy]

Did you save yourself for marriage horsepussy?

I don't believe in marriage. To me, it's a weird concept. I don't believe in it any religious sense. And as a state sanctioned business arrangement, it seems like a huge hassle just to save a few bucks on taxes and shit. And I really think weddings are fucking scams designed to force people to buy you shit. You should always donate money to homeless charities in the couples name in lieu of gifts. The look on their faces will be priceless.

[trexalicious]

[amaliazeichnerin]

Very recommendable essay by T. Thorn Coyle about community care, mutual aid and more. There are lots of practical suggestions where to start.

[carrickbender]

Pro tip: while I understand your day was shitty, I can only help you deshitify your day if you want to help too. Sometimes I wanna give up too, but we can only fix things if we work together.

Vague posting, but I think yall get it...

[swampndn]

I get asked a lot about how I do so much, and sometimes I don't give the honest answer because this morning's honest answer is for my 2 hour meeting at 8am, I was camera off, in bed, and during the largest explaining portion I hooked my phone up to a speaker and took a shower at the same time 🤙🏽

(But also this is for an amazing Native retreat that will start in one person's home community then travel across Turtle Island to all of our home communities. It's amazing!)

[loopiesounds]

“Scratch her eyes out,” Andarna suggests. “Really. The eyes are the softest tissue. Just jab your thumbs in there—” “Andarna! Use some common sense,” Tairn snaps. “The kneecaps are a much easier target.”

[quotesandthat]

An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

[amcarterwrites]

I'm so excited to share my first blog post on Practical Advice on Literary Device for Beginner Writers! I'll post every other Wednesday and hope it helps you drop the shame on your creative writing journey.

[your-average-teenage-mess]

Can Tumblr please stop throwing pornography at my feed??? I have literally never once clicked on it or liked it, I have blocked it every single time it happened, and yet for some fucking reason the algorithm keeps throwing at me, a minor, who came on here to chat about media and mental health and who explicitly blocked out anything with the words "porn" or "nsfw" in the text or tags, and have never once engaged with that type of content through any manner but blocking, pictures of naked trans women with a request to come to their DMs. It's been over a year since I got here and it's getting ridiculous. How do you make it stop?

Edit: literally two minutes after posting this, I got another one. Somebody make it stop please

[thetransfemininereview]

I wrote a follow-up piece to help those who struggle with task initiation begin their microlibraries ❤️

THIS IS A CALL TO ACTION. Censorship affects all of us, and if Project 2025 gets its way, the entire trans publishing industry is at a significant risk of criminalization. In this article, I lay out the problem and the stakes, and suggest a broad action plan with dozens of potential response ✊

[2happyherder]