#crack *

[janusfranc15]

This is highly amusing. I love it. You have made Bill even Sillier.

Kermit bill pt 2

[amirmeavid]

I love all the arthur meets little/deaged merlin crack fics, because its always so fluffy and cute and arthur gets to learn more about merlin, and also see the impact of the magic ban and it speeds up his development and arc (because the show kept fucking resetting it!).

But I do feel that these fics have a tendency to ignore one crucial fact.

Merlin WOULD NOT like the knights immediately.

As long as he's old enough to walk, talk, and understand shit, my man would be BOLTING at the sight of those camelot capes. Like these were the knights of CAMELOT. He is a child with MAGIC. He is not sticking around long enough to let them get close to him.

Plus it gives rise to this:

Arthur: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST HIM?!

Leon: Uh. He bit Gwaine and ran. -Sire.

[szlez]

Tree

Prompt 22 for HOLIDAYS WITH THE WINCHESTERS by @archervale and @wormstacheangel

In honour of the cat and christmas tree lights meme 😉 (and all the fallen christmas trees)

Other prompts:

Family Reunion, Tradition, Snowflakes, Candy, Scrooge, Merry, Stocking Stuffer, Winter, Holy, Ribbon, Bells, Presents, Traffic, Fruitcake, Greetings, Mistletoe, Parade, Tinsel, List, Miracle, Party.

Taglist.

Pls DM me if you want to be added to tag list or removed from it.

@aniona29, @cosmiccowboycass, @denimshortsdean, @dotti55, @famouskidangel, @hopefuldreamers-world, @markofcastiel , @malicmalic , @meeshsen , @shipsawayandusuallygay, @squirrelsarecool, @strawlessandbraless , @writteninthestarsinyoureyes .

[imraespace]

EPISODE 1 - DATING A WHAT IMRAESPACE

A LEAGUE PLAYER! <- PREVIOUS || MASTERLIST || NEXT ->

notes: it goes 0 to 100 real quick guys..

TAGLIST: @semisutopia @kittenish0 @nothingseenstuff @deonsx @bluberrymochi17 @momoriii-i @syarc0re @azharyy (OPEN)

[iamnmbr3]

Dumbledore walks in on Tom in the middle of putting in red contacts and Tom has to make up an elaborate excuse about a school play he's organizing...which he's then forced to actually put on.

I need a crack AU where Tom Riddle is living his normal life but also he's secretly Lord Voldemort at the same time Hannah Montana style

[coy-lol]

[grounded-parasocial]

I wrote a little something, so I’m soft launching it, without the big AO3 box, because that’s too scary and vulnerable.

At some point along the way, it became a habit that on Sundays, after spending the morning lazing under the covers, tangled together mapping each other's bodies, Simon putters around the apartment doing chores in just his underwear. No hoodie, no socks, just golden skin and underwear.

Or

Wilhelm is obsessed with Simon’s ass while he does Sunday chores in his underwear.

If you are interested in a little crack, you can find Sundays on AO3 - under 2k rated M

[yuqsdug]

Currently locked out of Ibis Paint (pc edition) because of the consequences of my foolish actions.

Anyway, shoutout to the Crackfic (series) that turned into angst Hatred does drugs. I may be partially involved in it turning into angst but I may be giving myself too much credit.

The text is so crunched.

[nopaintjustpain]

I choose to believe Elias & Peter have the world’s most dramatic on-again off-again marriage going. They divorce and remarry every couple years or so just for the DRAMA of it all. It’s an entertaining pastime and the post-divorce hate sex is excellent. Better than the honeymoon sex. Which, they’ve had several.

They take turns serving each other divorce papers. It’s always fun for Peter to try evade Elias through international waters when it’s his turn. And when Peter serves Elias in his office, Elias enjoys playing lawyer tag and crushing him in divorce court. Half of the institute’s discretionary funds come from alimony.

Elias using Peter’s money to hire better divorce lawyers so he can crush him in divorce court again and secure more of his money in alimony 👌 hilarious self-fulfilling cycle

All the Lukas relatives get so pissed about it, it’ll be Lukas Family Funeral time again and when they ask their scion to shell out for the ceremony he’ll be like “actually we have to go with the cheap coffin option and do a potluck instead of catering, Elias is raking me over the coals rn”

And they’re like “REALLY?? AGAIN”

“Yeah the post-divorce despair/ emptiness in ur life is SO Good, so tasty, the Lonely loves it, especially when I lark off across the world on another solitary journey of post-divorce self-discovery while Elias gets to sit in an equally empty penthouse and wonder if he made a mistake/ threw away the best thing in his life etc. His fear of dying alone/ desire to have me back/ inability to contact me overseas is a good combo. Very soap opera. You should try it sometime!”

“What, divorcing Elias?”

“No just divorcing. Though I guess you can borrow him this round, once we’re done in court. If you make him feel really alone and unappreciated in the marriage, then divorce him, it’ll be tastier when he comes running back to me.”

They get on like this for decades. They’re having a blast. (Right up until their bet comes to a head but that’s a whole separate can of worms)

Mr. Captain Peter Lukas (and his estranged ex-wife)

[wowyoulikeflowers]

Sirius Black 100% has a ton of fears he nonchalantly expands upon that are from abuse; a fear of small spaces from being locked in a closet or a fear of wands being pointed at him suddenly, but he always explains it and then moves on, so his friends are used to it/don't think much of it.

then one day, while they're out and about doing gay wizard things, Sirius starts freaking out. like, screaming, panicking, crying, Freaking Out. they calm him down, take him back to their dorm or something, and ask what happened. he quietly mumbles, "I saw a squirrel." they sit and wait for him to explain, but he absolutely refuses to. they bribe him, James uses his puppy eyes, they even get Lily in on it because she's always able to get information out of someone. nothing. they hesitantly move on and all decide to try and help Sirius avoid squirrels from now on, thinking it's so traumatizing for him he can't even joke about it like normal.

a few months later, James and Regulus are dating and they update him on all of Sirius' fears from his childhood so he can help them with it, and they mention squirrels. Regulus stops, looks at them, and laughs so hard he genuinely pulls an abdominal muscle. he eventually calms down and explains that, when they were younger, the Black brothers and sisters were playing outside somewhere and saw a squirrel. all five of them approached it, and it backed up and ran until it caught sight of Sirius. for whatever reason, that squirrel decided to chase Sirius. it scrambled after him, chattering away, and even managed to scratch his ankle.

and to this day, Sirius is terrified of squirrels.

[balrogballs]

i'm a writer irl (can't say who because my agent would rightfully put me into a blender and press the button if i go and out myself as "balrogballs") and honestly the funniest and most humiliating incident of my life was the time my finished manuscript triggered a plagiarism flag with the publisher for two lines of prose in my literary fiction novel...

.... which was word for word similar to a paragraph in a certain explicit work on FFN starring elrond and his batsman from the hobbit films, aka that one elf that looked like he ate panic attacks for breakfast (i forget his name but it's Figwit II) where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment.

and if you think i had to sit in front of one if the biggest publishing companies in the world and admit that it was, in fact, me who wrote the fic where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment in order to avoid being wrongly flagged for plagiarism, you would be absolutely correct.

(yes they published the book)

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

An adaptation of Sherlock Holmes set in a world in which the fictional character/literary juggernaut Sherlock Holmes, and all the subsequent adaptations thereof, still exist.

Sherlock Holmes (pronounced Holl-mess, as he is constantly reminding people) just had the misfortune of having parents who really liked the books, and his attitude towards his fictional counterpart is pretty much the same as that of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Sherlock runs a Youtube Theory channel called Mysteries Unwrapped with Sherlock Holmes. He has received no less than seven cease and desist letters from the Conan Doyle estate, all of which he has so faded managed to rebuff by pointing out that that's literally his name.

(No he won't change his name. He's Sherlock Holmes the real live human person. Let Sherlock Holmes the non existent fictional character change his name.)

John is Sherlock's flatmate. Sherlock almost refused to live with him once he realised that it would mean staying with a medical student named John, and only gave in once John pointed out that: a) he's a biomedical student, which is completely different from an md, and b) his surname isn't Watson.

It's now been three years, which is long enough for them to have developed a genuine friendship, and for John to have a) started working towards his PhD in biotechnology, and b) for him to start dating somebody with the surname Watson.

Sherlock can feel the narrative closing in.

His Youtube channel is meant to be focused on lost media, fan theories and stuff like that, but he keeps accidentally stumbling upon and then solving genuine crimes.

His brother Mycroft may or may not have chosen that name after he transitions specifically to annoy him.

He doesn't even live in London, but somehow the only flat they could afford was on a street named fucking Baker Street.

Sherlock Holmes and the Unescapable Power of the Narrative.

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

<- Prev Masterlist Next ->

Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[imraespace]

EPISODE 2 - DATING A WHAT IMRAESPACE

A LEAGUE PLAYER! <- PREVIOUS || MASTERLIST || NEXT ->

notes: swear words are so funny

TAGLIST: @semisutopia @kittenish0 @nothingseenstuff @deonsx @bluberrymochi17 @momoriii-i @syarc0re @azharyy @mi2ukiss @ocyeanicc @academiq @jayathelostdragon @rwbie @yamsverse @sara4uuu (OPEN)

[everwalldigan]

Hear me out: Robin Dick would be the biggest Bruceman supporter and shipper.

This boy hates any of Bruce’s love interest with a passion because then his dad guardian spends less time with him and that’s obviously UNACCEPTABLE, SCANDALOUS even, so when rumours start circulating that Bruce Wayne is in a relationship with the Batman, he jumps right on the wagon.

Reporter, thirsty for a story: Mr Grayson what do you think about the rumours that Bruce Wayne is dating the Batman?

Dick: What do I think about my dads you mean? My very married very taken dads? My very faithful to each other plural dads?

He would fuel the rumours both as Robin and as Dick Grayson, punching criminals for talking bad about Wayne enterprises as Robin (“THAT’S MY STEPDADS COMPANY YOURE TALKING ABOUT!”). He would be on online forums all day talking about how Bruceman is the only Batman ship that makes sense and Doxxing people who disagree.

Bruce is so exasperated because this is happening at a time where only Alfred and Dick know his real identity so he can’t even do anything with ANYONE without making either Bruce Wayne or Batman look unfaithful.

Throw Reporter Clark Kent into the mix who has been sent to scope out the Bruceman story, who Bruce makes the mistake of flirting with at a gala. Both Clark AND dick are scandalised.

Dick, making a scene: HOW COULD YOU! BATMAN IS WAITING FOR YOU AT HOME AND YOURE HERE FLIRTING WITH SOME… SOME REPORTER??

Bruce, sighing: Dick-

Dick, tugging on Bruce’s suit and looking up at him with fake tears in his eyes: Dad, are you and dad getting a divorce? :(

Clark, panicking: NO NO THEYRE NOT GETTING A DIVORCE PLEASE DONT CRY

Meanwhile:

Bruce, crying in the corner: he called me dad

He would even go as far as insisting that Robin is his step sibling

Principal: how do you explain that whenever Robin is injured, Dick fails to show up at school the next day?

Dick: Robin and I are twins :) so when he’s injured I’m injured too and we have to stay home together!!

Bruce, whispering: I’m sorry, they’re not really twins but neither I or Bats have the heart to tell hem