#crack *

[plxgve4two]

@demondads

Angel: This little b1tch is a traitor!

Sir Pentious:

[robylovi]

tiny comic based off a scene I found hilarious from Boyfriend Material by winterkeep

[luvismenu]

STARBOY — Jeon Jungkook // series ✧

m.list ,, navi ,, about taglist !on-going¡

summary: everyone assumes you two can't stand each other, but is that really true?

genre:

smau + written

crack + fluff

frenemies to lovers

pairing: popular classmate!jungkook x class president!reader

warnings: uni au, explicit language, mentions of sexual activities,, that's pretty much it lmao it's mostly silly (may include smut if i actually feel like it in the future)

index —

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© 2024 luvi. All rights reserved.

[whump-bunny]

Whumper dialogue, but it's me trying to find my keys in my purse:

"Please don't make this difficult."

"I'm going to find you, so you might as well come out."

"Why do you always do this!?"

"Where are they... WHERE ARE THEY!?"

"There you are. And to think you were right under my nose this whole time."

"If this happens again, I'm buying a chain."

[dubiousculturalartifact]

Alright I'll take this, and I raise you: Buck is a nice guy, and he just got strung along for six months in a relationship where the other guy didn't have his heart in it. Eddie getting his heart broken is a limited risk, he's clearly already in love with Buck, even if that wasn't explicitly stated in Eddie's coming-out conversation. But what about the risk of man he dates falling in love with Eddie, and getting their heart broken? Because who WOULDN'T fall in love with Eddie? ... who wouldn't fall in love with Eddie? ... [Buck frantically pulls up his phone] HELLO, JOSH? I HAVE A FAVOUR TO ASK

There's a really funny fic premise somewhere in here where Buck realises he has feelings for Eddie, and that Eddie has feelings for him, but instead of dating Eddie about it, he starts trying to aggressively matchmake Eddie with other men so that Eddie can get his APPARENTLY DOOMED?? first queer relationship out of the way with someone who isn't him.

[raileurta]

Optimus drunk off his mind: I- I shouldn't have drank high en.

Optimus: I can't protect them.

*Holding like 50 random humans he kinda kidnapped*

[callmereyoxp]

mc's lactose intolerant

solomon, watching mc put some more cheese on the pizza: arent you lactose intolerant you incompetent little loser?

mc, not really caring if they're gonna have to spend their day stuck on the toilet: yeah? and? its not your fucking body. its mine. shut the fuck up, gramps.

[sassytoluene]

Wish You Were Sober

lando norris x oscar piastri - college au!

based on conan gray's song "wish you were sober" status: on-going (currently on chapter 18) rating: mature tags: film major!lando, engineering major!oscar, unrequited love (they think), mutual pining, idiots in love, light angst (not really)

Summary: 

Lando keeps confessing his love for Oscar, but only when he' s drunk.

Oscar, who doesn't know if it's real or not, has been waiting for him to say it sober.

But he never does. Or does he?

Snippet:

“You’re pretty, and I like pretty boys.” Lando smiled lazily, and Oscar didn’t fail to notice how close their faces are, the older boy’s eyes soft and full of affection as his breath hits the younger one’s face.

“I like you, Osc.”

Oscar’s world tilted as Lando’s words hung in the air, sweet and devastating all at once. But before he could say anything—before he could even process what had just happened—Lando’s slumped against him, passed out cold.

Oscar sat there, frozen, staring down at the boy who had just wrecked his entire world and fixed it all at once.

What the actual fuck was that.

[iamnmbr3]

-- Tom Riddle every day after coming home from his job at Borgin & Burkes

i deserve a gold star for being so sweet and nice and not killing

[bootycrackbarstool]

👋 hi

Starting a new blog, gonna start posting some body updates and buttcrack posts! Gainers, encouragers, and all buttcrack enthusiasts welcome lol.

[snowmoonwrites]

Virus: Chibify! Chapter1

Tokyo Debunker fic. General audience, Full Fluffy crack. Let's put the ghouls into onesies! First victim? Lyca!

A new Curse have been going rampant in the Academy. No one knew how it started, who was the perpetrator, or what was the reason for it all. What everyone knew is that it left people as toddlers for 24 hours. Not more, not less. Given that it was not malicious in nature, at least it didn’t seem to be so, the Academy said it is an anomaly virus that will have to run its course.

That is what you all have been told, at least. You thought that the ghouls, just like usual, will be immune to this as well. At least, that was what you thought. Until you stepped into Obscuary’s dorm to get a signature from Lyca on one of the forms. When asked, Rui told you Lyca hadn’t left his room that day left, and feel free to barge in. While uncomfortable with the idea, after several minutes of futile knocking you opened the door. And what welcomed you was a sight you weren’t ready for. Instead of the grown-up Lyca, in the bed was a small child, curled up into a ball.

As you went closer, the boy’s eyes snapped open, turning to face you. A growl left his throat, but it immediately died out when he saw you. He probably retained at least some part of his memories if he recognized you. Or maybe your scent was familiar. Either way, he tilted his head to the side, looking positively like a puppy. Oh, my! That is exactly what he was after all! OH NO! You shook yourself, this is not the time for this! You lifted him up, bundling him into too-big clothes, and ran out. 

“Rui!” When his head appeared at the other end of the stairs you showed him Lyca in your arms. “I don’t think you all are immune to the virus.”

“Clearly not,” he replied letting you pass by. “I don’t think we have anything that would fit him.”

Oh, yeah, you can’t make Lyca go through the day butt naked. Clearly, that would not be wise. But you also couldn’t let him bi in his oversized clothes either. You knew from experience that asking the Academy will do you no good.

“I’ll manage it somehow. I’ll bring him back when he is back to a reasonable age.” You nodded to Rui while walking out of the dorm. While walking through the garden you opened your phone and called the one person you knew will be able to get you onesies in less than an hour. 

“Yes”

“Umm… Not to sound strange… But would you be able to get me onesies for children around…” You looked at Lyca in your arms. “How old are you now?” When the answer was a confused face you let it go. “Two? Maybe three years old of age?”

“The virus?”

“The virus. It turns out you ghouls are not at all immune to it either.” Maybe your voice showed a bit too much of glee as you could hear a long-suffering sigh on the other end of the line.

“How many do you need?”

“Around 21?” 

“Got it. Come pick it up in an hour.”

The phone call ended without any more words exchanged. It was typical, you just shrugged and made your way towards Frostheim. You looked down at Lyca, bouncing him a bit in your arms.

“How about we go see Subaru-kun after we get you some new clothes?”

Lyca’s ears perked up, it seemed like he wasn’t fully able to control his transformation. Whether it was an age thing or the Cursevirus, you didn’t know. He looked up at you, very excited as his tail wagged in a furious rhythm. You would have bet your entire life that Lyca knew who you were talking about.

When you stepped into Frostheim you were greeted by several students tending to small toddlers. They sent you sympathetic looks. At least theirs aren’t ghouls. You are still afraid what will happen with some of the others when they get turned into toddlers. Will Ed become a human again? The virus was too confusing for you, and even Yuri said he knows next to nothing about it. Which clearly hurt his pride to admit.

Well, given the situation, you decided to focus on the task at hand. You walked up to Jin’s room and knocked 5 times as usual. When your phone vibrated, you walked right in, knowing you got permission to enter. Or at least you thought that was what it meant! But clearly not! Jin was half naked, pulling up his shirt. You squeaked and put a hand before the small Lyca’s eyes.

“You should read the message.” Jin drawled, not in a hurry to hide his naked torso. And you felt no shame at looking. Well, one of your arms was holding Lyca, the other covering his eyes. You had no free hand. What were you supposed to do? Turn around? Maybe? Walk out? Possibly. But you didn’t care at all. 

“Where are the onesies?” You looked over the room, looking for a big pile of children’s clothing. You spotted a box next to the bed, nodded towards it. “Is that it?” 

Jin grunted in an affirmative. Finally finishing buttoning up his shirt. “I did not choose them. I take no criticism for them.”

“Got it.” You set down Lyca on the bed and opened up the box, lifting out the nicely folded onesies. They were all animal themed… Hmmm… You looked through them. Some of them, you instantly knew which ghoul should wear when they get infected. Some, you were hesitant about. You fished out the wolf one and helped Lyca into it. A cheesy choice. But he looked so cute! 

Your phone’s folder will be full of cute ghouls! You snapped a quick photo before helping Lyca down from the bed.

“Let’s go surprise Subaru-kun, hmm?” You reached out, and Lyca grabbed onto your hand, pulling you towards the door.

“Go! Let’ go! Let’s go to Suba-kun!”

“I’ll pick up the clothes on my way home.” You called out to Jin as you let Lyca pull you towards the door. He stepped in front of you two, eliciting a growl from Lyca’s throat. 

“I’ll make one of the brats bring it to your dorm. The child might not turn back till much later.” He patted your head then stole a kiss onto your forehead before moving out of the way and letting the kiddified Lyca pull you towards Hotarubi. Clearly following his nose rather than basing anything on his knowledge. Thankfully the onesies came with protective shoes, so you won’t have to carry all the boys around all day.

During your walk you wrote to Subaru to let him know that you are bringing a virus affected Lyca. He wrote back about his willingness to host you both till Lyca got better. You thanked him, telling him you two are on your way. 

When you arrived at the edge of the dorm, where sunny weather turned into everlasting rain, Subaru stood there waiting for you with a spare umbrella. Lyca made uppie hands towards him. Subaru instantly took him into his hands.

“Ah, let me hold the umbrella so you won’t get wet.” You took the umbrella and put it over them. While you got a little wet, at least the small Lyca got through the rain without a speck of raindrop. All the while he was talking off Subaru’s ear about all the things with the enthusiasm only small children have.

As you walked into the room, Haku threw a towel on your shoulder, scolding you for not taking care of yourself better. You let him and Zenji fuss over you, keeping an eye on Lyca, who seemed to be an energetic child, who liked to talk off Subaru’s ear. He totally had favourite persons. He didn’t even spare a glance at Haku, but pulled you closer so you all could listen to his tales about chasing squirrels in the forest. Whether these were such fond memories that they stayed with him, or if they got clearer due to the virus, you didn’t know. It was certainly cute.

What made your day perhaps was the way Haku got a carton box out of nowhere, and put the small Lyca into it, who immediately claimed it as his new den. And if Haku tried to go even an inch closer that Lyca deemed safe, his ears would perk up, a growl leaving him. But then he would look at Subaru, waiting to be chastised and he would take out his best puppy eyes to look pitiful.

Your phone’s gallery held new pictures, a folder dedicated to smol ghouls now. You were looking forward to gathering more.

ALSO Guys. I made a Kofi. So feel free to send me your love over there too <3

[moneypriestess]

Idk if anyone else is as obsessed with epic the musical like I am but I've had this thought (sorry if it's been done before, please let me know 🙏 i think its hilarious)

Ares: "hahahaha you got beat by a puny mortal"

Posideon: -_-

For hundreds of years Ares makes offhand commenta and jokes about this until

Ares seething cuz he got beat by a young mortal demigod: :l

Posideon who just so happens to be the father of this young mortal: :3

Ares: "don't even start"

[iamnmbr3]

Even the Chamber of Secrets and the Hallows, one of which was a Horcrux, weren’t safe. No wonder Voldemort killed him.

[zhoudadudugongjin]

They are never ever ever getting back together 😤

My C Drama Music Edits [x]

[balrogballs]

i'm a writer irl (can't say who because my agent would rightfully put me into a blender and press the button if i go and out myself as "balrogballs") and honestly the funniest and most humiliating incident of my life was the time my finished manuscript triggered a plagiarism flag with the publisher for two lines of prose in my literary fiction novel...

.... which was word for word similar to a paragraph in a certain explicit work on FFN starring elrond and his batsman from the hobbit films, aka that one elf that looked like he ate panic attacks for breakfast (i forget his name but it's Figwit II) where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment.

and if you think i had to sit in front of one if the biggest publishing companies in the world and admit that it was, in fact, me who wrote the fic where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment in order to avoid being wrongly flagged for plagiarism, you would be absolutely correct.

(yes they published the book)