#could elaborate if anyone has specific questions

[timetohop]

Probably never gonna write this AU but it's haunting me so I'll throw it here and maybe someone is gonna play ghostbuster and write it for me.

Xie Lian is down on his luck and struggling to keep afloat, barely getting by with odd jobs that seem to change every other week. But it's fine! He's managing, he has a small flat and Ruoye and most days even two small meals. It's fine.

Except there are two kids living on the alley next door who don't seem to belong to anyone and no one seems to take care of them. The little girl is barely 6 - maybe not even - and the boy can't be much older. They're thin, and dirty, and XL can't look away, so he shares his meal (he can survive on one per day, no problem) and then it rains and how can he leave them outside? So he invites them in and then he can't let them go again. They're HIS now, and he is all they have (they ran away from their last abusive foster home and they refuse to go back).

But. Kids need food, and clothes, and medicine, and suddenly the money isn't enough anymore, even if he stretches meals and scavanges for second hand deals, and he can't get government support since they aren't officially his and they'd be taken away if it becomes known.

He tries getting a second and a third job, but it's not enough. Having kids is so expensive! He hesitates for a long time but he knows he's always been pretty, and after little Banyue goes hungry one too many times, and young Pei Xiu tries to make money to support XL when he should be a child instead, XL gives in and sells himself.

He hates it, and he only does it when money is especially tight, but it brings in enough money to feed everyone and pay rent and he can even buy them toys sometimes so it's worth it (even if it's slowly destroying XL, but it's fine. It has to be. It's for his kids, after all) (he doesn't notice how they notice him getting more and more withdrawn and every smile comes harder everytime he comes home late. Pei Xiu has seen enough on the streets to know)

Enter Hua Cheng. XL has made quite a name for himself, his beauty highly desirable. Maybe it's curiousity, maybe simple desire on first sight, but HC buys him for the night to accompany him to some event. The first time they meet, they are instantly attracted to each other. HC finds him immensely interesting, and XL is just glad to have a client for once who doesn't see him as just an object. They actually talk! It's sad that that is an improvement from 95% of his other clients, he thinks, but he's having fun and he thinks the after-party might not be so bad either.

The first half of the event is pretty boring. Small talk, pretentious rich people, less food than he'd like but good wine (too bad he doesn't drink). And then someone shoots at HC. XL has trained martial arts in his youth; he was the best, before everything went to hell. He hasn't trained in years, but his reflexes are still lightning fast and he pushes HC aside and saves his life and then knocks out the shooter like it's nothing.

And HC is gone.

A day later, XL receives an offer to be HC new personal bodyguard.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

suspicious detail

I was rereading the prologue to collect some information for a response and came across this interesting tidbit from Crowley:

“The student selection process has not erred once in its century of existence!” So the Mirror of Darkness has been the one selecting and sorting students for 100ish years. This aligns with what we knew about NRC’s nearing 100 loss streak against RSA.

BUT THAT’S REALLY WEIRD???? Because we now know that NRC has been around for MUCH longer than 100ish years. Lilia first got his invitation to the school 500 years ago:

Meaning that NRC was still a thing 500 years ago?? But if we take what Crowley said in the prologue into consideration, that means that the Mirror of Darkness was a recent change in the selection and sorting process. For those 400 other years, some other method was used.

Well, TWST???? Care to elaborate??? To explain????? 😭

At this point, we still do not know how long Crowley has been headmaster for. He seems to have been the one in charge when Lilia decided to enroll in NRC 3 years ago, as Lilia thanks Crowley specifically for allowing him to be a student:

Crowley’s beef with Ambrose the 63rd in book 5 seems to indicate a long-standing rivalry. According to Crowley’s Raven Jacket vignettes, he was around as headmaster when Trein was tenured and Crewel was a student. Crowley also questions his own age, wondering how many decades ago he encountered and recruited the cafeteria’s skilled ghost chefs.

Therefore, I believe it’s entirely possible that he has been headmaster for at least the 100ish years of NRC’s losing streak. The question now is how long has Crowley been headmaster for??

If it was more than 500 years ago, then it debunks the “Crowley is Raverne/Malleus’s dad” theory, since it was Raverne who told Lilia it may be valuable to go to that school even after Lilia had tossed the acceptance letter away. How could Raverne be headmaster of NRC and be an ambassador for another country? Why wouldn’t Lilia be aware of this other occupation?

If it was less than 500 years, then it throws suspicion upon Crowley’s identity because WOW, why’s this new headmaster suddenly taking up the reins at this school that he told his friend several hundred years ago to reconsider?? And seeing how it was Crowley who let Lilia in, that’s even more shady. This would also explain the mask he wears at all times, perhaps to keep Lilia from noticing who he really is? (Though the only way this would work is if Crowley was also purposefully faking his voice, as Lilia implies that Raverne’s voice sounds like Malleus’s.)

But then thinking about how the Mirror of Darkness only started picking students 100 years ago… That means whoever was headmaster 500 prior used a different selection method??? And how does that fit into Crowley’s unknown length of tenure as NRC’s headmaster?? 💀

I don’t know if I really ended up reaching a conclusion with this post but I’d figure I’d still put it out there in case anyone found this interesting or wanted to expand on these ideas ^^

[grison-in-space]

I'm sorry? Pigeons have to coo to ovulate?

okay, okay, I left this one out in the tags without elaborating the other day and you were not the only person who asked-- @nanavn and @corvus--caurinus were also curious. I did not have a ton of time yesterday when my brain was not leaking out my ears, so here I am today.

First, I apparently misremembered my grad school teachings: the best-documented case study of doves being required to hear their own coo in order to ovulate is that of the ring or Barbary dove (Streptopelia risoria), not the rock dove which gave rise to our domestic pigeons (Columba livia). They look like this:

They're the domestic doves you see sometimes that aren't domestic pigeons.

But yes, I was completely serious: hens need to very specifically hear their own nest coo to ovulate. The way it works is this: these doves have a very specific courtship pattern, where courting males at different stages of the nesting process perform first a "bow" coo, then a nest coo. Then the hen makes a nest coo back, and the pair goes on to build a nest together in which the hen will lay fertile eggs.

If you prevent the hen from producing this coo--and the first paper I've linked does this in several different ways with both neural lesions and also mechanical blocks of the synrinx--she will not ovulate. Then Dr. Cheng tried rescuing the effect for doves who could hear but not produce their own coos by playing back recordings of devocalized doves' own nest coos, recordings of other hen's nest coos, recordings of male nest coos (their own males, I think, for preference?) and no recordings at all. Hen nest coo recordings, especially the recordings of the hens themselves, were enough to rescue ovulation effect... but deafened hens who could, themselves produce nest coos weren't able to make ovulation happen half the time even when the male was right there. The male nest coo and his mating display is really important, because his coo stimulates the female to make her nest coo, and that's where ovulation starts.

In 2003, a little over a decade later, Dr. Cheng wrote a whole book chapter about auditory self-stimulation as a phenomenon in neuroendocrine shifts. It makes for pretty interesting reading! I'm going to really enjoy it this afternoon. Stimulated ovulation is actually a pretty common phenomenon in animals--often it makes more sense to only bother ovulating if you know there's a partner around to use whatever eggs you yield up--but this one is one of the most interesting and elaborate systems out there, and definitely the one that offers the most options to a given female dove to potentially consciously control her reproductive output.

But grison, you might ask, what about the doves outside my window? Is this just a function of this one dove species, or are lots of doves doing this to make ovulation happen? So I went looking to find out whether anyone has checked. The thing is that the heyday of pigeon behavioral research has faded somewhat in the intervening decades since Dr. Cheng's discovery, so there's not as much as I might hope where people sat down to investigate the question. I did, however, find a neat study on Columba livia demonstrating that auditory stimulation is more important to courtship displays and success than visual displays are, although of course the multisensory courtship is stronger than either sensory modality alone. So yeah, the cooing back and forth really loudly is part of a display that is functionally necessary for successfully producing offspring, and the auditory component is important for basically every pigeon that has been studied in this respect (albeit that number is pitifully small).

I also found this really interesting review of known uses of birdsong to set internal emotional states in birds (either for the self or for a partner or flockmates) that I want to look into with more detail, plus this really thoughtful review from Dr. Donna Maney talking about how "incentive salience" can use learning and experience to make certain cues bring up neuroendocrine changes in state over time, which helps individuals control how their endocrine system is reacting to stimuli in the world they've been shaped by. Clearly I have some reading to do...

[yandere-romanticaa]

Recently, the surge of AI has caught everyone's attention and I've been working on this little experiment.

Down below the cut are two fics and this is how I planned it - one was made up by using AI (more specifically, Chat Gpt) while the other one was written by yours truly. Below both fics will be a poll and I would like for you, my dear readers, to guess which one was AI. Personally, I don't think it'll be a difficult challenge but seeing your reactions and comments on this should prove to be an interesting endeavor.

This was posted on April 17th. And, in 7 days, I shall reveal which fic was written by me, and which one was done by AI.

Now then, let's get on with the show.

🥀 Story One.

In the dimly lit alleyways of Yokohama, Fyodor Dostoevsky stalks his obsession, (y/n), with unwavering determination. His fixation transcends reason, driving him to extreme lengths to possess (y/n)'s affection.

Fyodor's obsession with (y/n) began innocently enough, a mere curiosity sparked by their untapped potential and innocence. But as time passed, that curiosity twisted into an all-consuming desire, festering within Fyodor's mind like a venomous serpent.

Each night, Fyodor would follow (y/n) from a distance, his heart pounding with anticipation and longing. He would watch as (y/n) laughed with their friends, oblivious to the dark presence lurking in the shadows.

But Fyodor's love was not the gentle, nurturing kind. It was possessive, suffocating, and dangerously obsessive. He couldn't bear the thought of (y/n) belonging to anyone but him, couldn't stand the idea of anyone else basking in the warmth of (y/n)'s smile.

As his obsession deepened, Fyodor's mind became consumed with dark fantasies of possessing (y/n) completely. He would spend hours meticulously planning every detail of their future together, envisioning a life where they were inseparable.

But fantasies were not enough for Fyodor. He needed to make them a reality, no matter the cost. And so, he began to weave a web of deception and manipulation, carefully orchestrating events to bring (y/n) closer to him and drive away anyone who dared to stand in their way.

But as Fyodor's plans grew more elaborate, so too did the danger. (y/n)'s friends grew suspicious of Fyodor's intentions, sensing something sinister lurking beneath his charming facade. And as they delved deeper into Fyodor's past, they uncovered secrets that threatened to unravel his carefully constructed world.

But Fyodor was not about to let anyone come between him and his beloved. He would do whatever it took to protect their love, even if it meant resorting to violence.

🥀 Story Two.

Shimmering waves of starlight engulfed the man in white as he monitored his target from a safe distance, hollow purple eyes gleaming with excitement. He could feel his long fingers twitching with anticipation in his warm pockets, a stark contrast to the chilly wind on this fine spring evening.

He needed to be patient. Because patience was indeed, a virtue.

And Fyodor was a virtuous man. Perhaps not a good one, but he would gladly take the title of virtue.

Would you bestow upon him such a title? Would you do so, if you ever found out that he had taken such a keen interest in you? The rational part in his mind said no, of course not. Unlike him, you were blessed with normalcy. There was nothing extraordinary about you - no ability, no wealth, no status.

Nothing.

You could have been squished like a bug beneath his heel and the world would just keep on going as it always would. Sure, there would be some individuals who would miss you dearly but even they would move on at some point.

Such was the nature of humanity. How cruel, he thought to himself.

Fortunately for you, Fyodor was no ordinary man. Despite his predicament, he had grown fond of you. He was not sure why but after a while, he stopped asking such trifling questions as to why he troubled himself by giving you so much attention.

It was pointless to make sense of the senseless.

Right here, right now, all he wanted was to enjoy this quiet evening by his lonesome, as he tailed behind you like a creeping shadow. He would reveal himself to you properly when the time was right, when he felt you were strong enough to take him.

Fyodor just needed to wait a little bit longer, just long enough to see how he should proceed with you in case things went south.

In the meantime, he would gladly spend every waking moment simply watching you for his own personal pleasure.

🥀 TAGS: @yanroma, @oneoftheprettynerds, @misdollface, @sxy0ung, @rosemary108233, @c4xcocoa, @gettinshiggywithit, @ophticcus, @lakxcpsta, @ranposgirlboss, @robinaxolotl, @acornwinter, @enoojnij, @ishqani, @osachiyo, @bluepeanutharmony, @kaithegremlin, @fyodorscockslut, @wcayaw, @luna-mariko-akatsuki, @lovelyyz, @queenofspades403

APRIL 24TH - Story One is AI.

[mochiajclayne]

Marineford Law is no question interesting to me because he pulled off a surprise, motherfucker moment and the timing was so good to the point that both pirates and marines least expected it.

Before I proceed with this self-indulgent lawlu meta post, I will go ahead and say that everything that happened between them in Marineford is a catalyst of establishing their connection later on in the future arcs. I am a firm believer that those feelings™️ started to truly bloom in Punk Hazard and went downhill in a good way in Dressrosa.

Long post ahead. Enjoy!

When I was rewatching Marineford arc, the part where Buggy was already carrying an unconscious and injured Luffy and Jimbei, their conversation sparked my interest.

Highlighting the bit where Buggy was confused about Law's verbal tic of using the suffix -ya in referring to anyone, overall doubting him, then asking for Law's name. Don't forget that Law is a little shit (affectionate) so he proceeded to ignore all of those questions to say this:

Interestingly enough, this part is tricky to translate. I found two translations that closely encapsulate what Law wanted to say here but mind you, and I will sound redundant about this with everything that has got to do with Trafalgar Law's speech patterns: he likes speaking in runarounds, purposely using terms with double meanings and connotations on them, and he's both reticent and cryptic. (I wouldn't say not to trust on his words but don't take them at face value.)

Law described his connection with Luffy as 悪縁 (akuen) which directly translates as evil destiny or connection.

Forgive me for a bit of sidetracking but the kanji used for akuen is the same with Robin's epithet which is "Demon Child" (akuma no ko). To further elaborate, 悪 (aku) means evil--both as intent and violating a moral code. It is also used to refer as the direct opposite of good.

Going back to 悪縁 (akuen), in true Law fashion, this word doesn't only mean evil destiny or connection. Depending on the context, it can also mean unfortunate love.

(It sounds tragic coming from him, isn't it? If your mind was blown after this part, no worries, I am too. This part gave me so much whiplash when I was researching about it.)

So, considering these two interpretations of 悪縁 (akuen), that begs the question, what is Law's connection with Luffy?

On surface-level, they are enemies as Law said so himself. They're rivals when it comes to One Piece. Their common ground, which is only known among people that Law trusts the most, is sharing the same secret name of D. However, I will take one step ahead and say that they both went through the same tragic fate of losing their loved ones, for being weak and powerless to protect them. They were both involved in circumstances where if they were capable enough, they could've saved the person they loved the most. Doomed by the narrative and subjected to trauma that breaks their heart and spirit should they be lesser men to handle such misery and grief. It is unfortunate, disastrous, and cursed to love fully knowing the fact that the other person could die like the ones before them but these two have the biggest heart.

Of course, Law will never say it directly. Thus, settling for 悪縁 (akuen).

It gets better. He did say 悪縁も縁 (akuen mo en) and 縁 (en) itself means fate or destiny (especially a mysterious force that binds two people together). Additionally, も (mo) is also a particle that is used for emphasis.

The implication, in turn, of what Law said to Buggy can be translated this way: Strawhat-ya and I (will) eventually be enemies, but an evil connection is (the futuristic possibility of Luffy becoming his enemy) is fate (that binds them).

Law made sure to emphasize that their "evil connection" is fate: specifically, that mysterious force brought them together and compelled him to be there, that he was meant to sail to Marineford, and help Luffy escape.

These two translations are the closest that I found to be accurate but it's still scratching the surface of what Law said:

This entire panel between Ivankov and Law makes it funnier because he clocked him IMMEDIATELY.

Ivankov asked if he's friends with Luffy to which he replied: no.

He also emphasized that that he doesn't have any obligation to help him but then went on to say this:

親切 (shinsetsu) means kind, generous, gentle, considerate. 不安 (fuan) refers to anxiety, uneasiness, worry, apprehension. These are surprisingly direct words but of course, Law had to go back and be cryptic again when he followed up with 理屈 (rikutsu), which could mean two things: theory, reason, logic or (unreasonable) argument, excuse.

I think this panel did a good job for translating it.

Law himself is providing Ivankov here the benefit of the doubt. To reiterate, Ivankov beats him to the punch which makes their entire interaction so funny.

Again, brilliant translation for directly calling out Law's bullshit. Lmao. Ivankov says 直感 (chokkan) here. It means intuition, instinct, hunch. Please take the next statement that I will say with a grain of salt but "instinctively moving your body" is usually associated with the context of being reckless to the point of directly exposing oneself to danger, consequences be damned, in order to protect someone.

Even Law himself acknowledged that he's not obligated to be there, so why?

Unfortunately, this is the elephant in the room that Law will never address. Several characters even made sure to point out that he helped Luffy two years ago and he purposely dodges that topic.

One thing I can guarantee is that Law never did it to get Luffy to agree for the alliance. Hell, he thought of the alliance after reuniting with Luffy! He adjusted his plans by then. Additionally, he never used the fact that he saved Luffy's life as his bargaining chip and leverage to get him on board the alliance.

Lastly, this is too much for saving a life on a whim, isn't it, Law?

[adventuringblind]

AUS24 (3k words)

Oscar Piastri x Liam Lawson x Reader x Logan Sargeant

Genre: Angst, fluff, spice, A/B/O AU

Summary: James Vowels takes things a step further when covering his ass in the media. Logan and his mate pay the price but Oscar and Liam are there to help.

Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, heat/rut cycles, James Vowels is the bad guy in this one, Alex being a king, Thigh riding, other alluded to sexual things but not specific so IDK what else to put

Notes: This one was a lot and I hope I filled the request okay! I struggled... Therefore y'all should feed my praise kink in order to motivate me. Jk...... unless?

Side Note: My ABO dynamics and how I write it is different so be forewarned ig. Also, NSFW under the cut. MINORS AVERT YOUR EYES!

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

Oscar didn’t think much of it when he jumped out of the car and didn't see Logan. He figured he’d rushed off to make sure Alex was okay after that nasty crash and see if the team was going to be able to fix the beta’s car. 

Practice had gone pretty decent. He should probably meet up with Lando to talk about how he’d felt in the car. All things considered, he’s mildly optimistic. 

The itch in his neck leaves him wondering which of his three mates could possibly be annoyed. Oscar usually assumes Liam, given the nature of the omega. Oscar had to learn to pick his battles early on. He understands that in entirely alpha or omega families, dynamics have to be flexible. Liam is more alpha coded then he is omega. Unfortunately for the mess of things that is the paddock, people give him shit for it and Oscar has had to haul the kiwi away before he killed somebody. 

Oscar, because he’d prefer not to spend his home race weekend bailing Liam out of jail, speeds off towards the RB garage. He doesn’t have to go far since Liam is also sprinting in his direction. “Oscar! Are you alright? I thought maybe something happened when you got out of the car since I feel all prickly.” The blonde smells both annoyed and concerned. 

Oscar shakes his head. “I thought you might be trying to take the head off Helmut again…” He shakes his head and continues his walk down to the Williams garage with Liam on his heels. “Have you seen the other two at all?” 

“Her and Logan walked down to the William's garage together. That was about twenty minutes ago.” 

On their trek to the end of the paddock, They end up running into George. The second British Omega on the grid. He’s pacing outside of the garage and Oscar has to bite back a gag at how distressed he smells. “George?”

“Oscar! They won’t let me in.” He’s raking fingers through his and getting increasingly more distressed the longer they are stuck outside. “He sent me a text saying something happened, but didn’t elaborate. I can feel his anger.” 

Oscar, because he has no idea what to do in this scenario, sends Liam with George to find Lewis, or Carlos, or Max, or Lando, or anyone else who might know what to do right now because he has no idea. He just needs to see the other half of his mates or he’s going to lose it. 

He tries to flag down anyone in the vicinity, only to be ignored. He’s about ready to come unhinged until he gets the attention of James. The alpha team principal keeps his distance - the invisible boundary line the only thing keeping Oscar from shaking the information out of him. Only, James doesn’t just smell like James. No - he smells like Oscar’s other two omegas. Both of which must be in heat. 

He tries to breathe; reign himself in so he doesn’t lose it and end his entire career (though he will if it comes down to it). “Where are they?” If there is a growl laced within the question, he can’t be bothered to care.”

James looks like he might jump into an explanation of some kind, but gets foiled by Alex. The beta looks pissed. The kind of anger that shows in every movement. 

“JAMES!” While Oscar flinches at the olders tone, James remains calm. It's aggravating in a way. “Tell Oscar what you did or I will.”

James sighs and motions for the Australian to follow him. Alex can't growl, but the way he's seething tells Oscar that he would if he could. It's ironic to think that between the three of them, Alex is the most angry compared to the two alphas trudging through the garage.  

James gestures for him to go inside. The scent leaking through the cracks in the door is terribly seductive and Oscar has to dig his nails into the palm of his hands to ground himself. “Neither of them were supposed to be in heat this early. All four of us are synced and just went through this a month ago.” he stares down the older alpha for an explanation. 

He takes an inventory of his own body. His own reaction to his mates in heat is more… intense. Like he can't keep himself off them. Currently he feels more protective than anything. 

“since James won't tell you, I will-”

“It's team business!” 

“Not when the safety of others is concerned!” 

James makes a lunge for Logan but Oscar matches his speed and steps in front of him. He wants to retch at how awful James smells at the moment. 

Four pairs of footsteps from the direction they had come from. Liam and George have managed to find them and dragged Carlos and Lando as well. It's terribly comforting to have more people around. 

“what's going on?” Lando whines at the door the closer he gets. “Is Logan in heat? But didn't he just have one?” 

Alex is much taller than Oscar, but the beta appreciates the gesture given the nature of how betas usually are towards anyone else. “Oscar, why don't you, me, George and James speak about this in his office. Carlos can come too, if you'd like.” 

“yeah - yeah okay. I need to know what happened.” He looks around for Liam and pulls him away from James. “Sorry - I don't know what's happening. I didn't mean too-” 

Liam attaches himself to the alpha and noses at his neck. “I'll take care of them while you're gone. Lando is going to stay also.” 

Oscar nods, kisses his head, and drags himself away. He doesn't want to go anywhere but inside that room. Be it biology or his own mind, clearly something is wrong and he would desperately like to be there for the people he loves. Still, Liam is here and that makes things better. They aren't alone. 

They settle into chairs in James’ office. Carlos opts to stay by the door watching everything going on outside. “Why are they taking apart Logan's car?” 

Oscar blinks at him. They're what?” 

“I crashed the car and broke the chassis. James decided to punish Logan for it. But that's not even the worst part!” Alex looks expectantly to his team principal. A silent urge for him to tell his own story. He gestures for Alex to come continue on and the beta rolls his eyes. “Logan and y/n walked here together. James summoned them into the office together. He told Logan he was going to give me his car. Obviously, I said no and…” 

George shuffles his way over to Alex. The physical contact between the two seems to lessen Alex's rising emotions. “It was probably my fault, since I kept saying no.” Alex throws a packet of heat inducers on the table. “I was restrained. James didn't show he had a whole package - just dissolved way over the recommended amount into a cup and commanded Logan to drink it. She got to it first so he didn't have to drink it, and downed the entire thing in seconds.” 

“That doesn't explain Logan’s-”

“He had more and just repeated it. Then he used that fucking voice to get them to not tell anybody and lock themselves away.” Alex looks like he's on the brink of tears. “I'm sorry, Oscar.” 

Oh - the rage that's building beneath his skin. He moves to throw himself at James, but is foiled by Carlos. “You can't help from jail.” 

Which, the Spaniard isn't wrong, so Oscar goes limp in his hold. He takes a few ragged breaths to force himself to calm down. “It's not your fault Alex, at all. Sounds to me like it's a move to cover his own ass.” 

“Alex is out best chance-” 

“Bullshit! I just murdered my car!” 

The door to the office is thrown open and Oscar has no time to react to the fact Max and Daniel, his pack alpha and omega - respectively, got word of this. 

“Did we need to alert the entire grid, Alex?” 

Max openly, and without hesitation, growls at the team principal in question. Daniel hits him upside the head to get him to stop. “Where’s Logan at?”

“My driver doesn’t need anymore assistance, Daniel-” 

All of them (aside from Alex) Descend into a fit of threatening noises. “Really? Because heat inducers can fuck up anyone’s body on a normal dose. Trust me James, I’ve been in this scenario with my own team.”

Briefly, Oscar recalls Lando talking about McLaren trying to induce Daniel’s heat without his knowledge. Andrea is a much better team principal and He can vividly recall Lando near sobbing when they were assured that would never happen. 

“In Logan’s room.” 

“Great! Here’s what we’re going to do then.” 

George has to drag Alex away from the Office and back up to his room. The British Omega throws a middle finger at James before he’s out of sight completely. Max is staying with James until things get sorted out. Which - unfortunately since the laws are so unfair - will mean James gets away scot free. Daniel says he’s going to be subjected to a lecture first. The rest of them head back to Logan’s room with the intent on getting out of the building. 

“Should I call Andrea and Zak?” Oscar looks desperately at Daniel for instructions. He’s never had to leave so suddenly and has no clue if there is a protocol for these things or not. 

“No worries, I took care of it. We just need to get them out of the paddock.” the older Aussie pats his shoulder reassuringly. “I’m assuming the four of you aren’t prepared at all?” 

Oscar shakes his head. “We all synched just last month.” 

“Anything you need then? I can send George and Alex on errands. Actually, I’m hoping for that seeing as Alex is desperate to help.” 

“I hope he sees that this isn’t his fault.”

“He’ll come around, I hope you know it’s not your fault either.” 

And here Oscar thought he was hiding it so well. He tries to shake it off, play his own insecurities down. “I’m-”

“Relax mate, Max felt guilty for weeks.”

“But it’s my job to protect them-” The voice crack was unnecessary and completely screwed him over in terms of hiding whatever feeling he had buried.

Daniel turns to face him right outside the door. “You can’t change the past, Oscar. You were never going to be able to stop this from happening. What you can do is help them now because they need you.” 

Oscar nods with newfound determination, and opens the door.

She certainly wouldn’t say it was her greatest decision, definitely one of the easier ones in the moment. She’d downed the drink without a hesitation. 

They’d attempted a nest. Tried to make the room comfortable. The amount of drugs in their systems was not making it easy. Instead opting to throw everything on the floor and try to sleep before they can’t. 

They’d stripped down to undergarments within the last few minutes. The heat steadily building and becoming too much. Still, she lays plastered against Logans body; his scent intoxicating. 

“You didn’t have to do that for me.” He noses at her neck, teeth nipping at the three scars lining her collar bone. 

“Wanted to help, Lo.” She feels like crying. The odd lack of connection bombarded her after James used his stupid voice. “Wanted you to race.” 

The door squeaks open sometime later. After a nap and the first round of what will probably be many. She peaks her head out from around Logan who’s gone defensive from the new intrusion. Only - Liam peaks his head inside and Lando follows before shutting the door again. She whimpers and tries to claw her way to Liam, but is pushed back gently by Lando. 

“He’s grabbing a few things.” She can see him trying to smile gently at her. 

Liam ends up between them, his own shirt off and one of Oscar’s sweatshirts in hand. She makes herself as small as possible to curl up into his side. “Do you two need anything specific right now.” 

“Where’s Osc?” Logan beats her to the question. 

“Talking with James, I believe.” 

The whines are involuntary. That part of her brain still fighting for its life wants to know why he’s not here right now. The overthinking side is claiming it’s because she’s undesirable now. “Does he still want us?” 

Liam coos at her, as does Logan and Lando. “You'll never not be undesirable.” 

“But what about James?”

“What do you mean?” She can feel Liams muscles tense underneath her. She shrinks in an attempt to hide from the new angry scent permeating the room. 

Thankfully, Logan takes over for her. “He used his voice on us. He wanted to give me inducers…” 

She, despite the struggle, rolls herself over Liam and into Logan's lap. “Not your fault.”

“I know-” his desperate whine nearly kills her. And Liam - by the looks of it. He's restraining himself if the way his jaw is tensing is any indicator. 

“Lando, would you mind possibly grabbing mine and Oscar's stuff so we don't have to leave here again if possible?” It's not fair really, that Liam can be bossy and she finds it attractive.  Oscar is also bossy, but he’s the gentle bossy and Logan isn’t bossy at all. Wow - her stupid hormones have her drooling over this and she doesn’t even know what this is. 

Liam makes up a list for Lando and the Brit runs off to collect the items. She wonders how long Oscar is going to be and if the ache in between her legs will let up until they can leave. 

It’s the only thing on her mind. It’s also now all over her thighs. An unfortunate circumstance where there are no towels on the ground. At this rate she might die if she can’t do something about these feelings and the longer she waits the more desperate she becomes. 

“Do you need something, darling?” Her hazy mind decides that now is a great time to register that she’s grinding into Liam's leg. She doesn’t stop though. If anything - she can’t, because he has a hand on her hip urging her to continue. “Only one of me at the moment, is this okay for now?” She makes a weak sound and makes a mess of herself and Liam’s poor thigh. Not like Logan is doing any better. They both smell good like this. 

She has no idea how much time passes, the endless amount of work she’s having to do finally wears her out enough to relax for the time being. 

“I guess I should’ve stripped all the way, huh?” She’s too tired to be embarrassed about Liam’s teasing comments. She barely even notices Liam attempting to clean her up. Her mind is too far gone. Enough that her and Logan are both ready to go again after a few measly minutes.

They don't get very far, instead scrambling under whatever is available as the door swings open. Liam is hissing at the intruder, only to see Oscar and Lando poke their heads inside. 

“Hey Daniel, I think maybe we’ll stay here for the time being and then when the traffic of the paddock dies down we can try and leave.” 

Daniel also slips into their space. She makes a lunge for either of the two Australians. Oscar is quick to react to her movements and get her to stay put underneath the little amount of covering she has. 

Lando drops the bags of stuff he was holding and tries to smile at them before he leaves. Unfortunately, his sad scent gives away his true feelings. She wonders if he knows the full story now since Oscar definitely does. 

It’s just her, her mates, and Daniel now. The pack Omega is hovering by the door and is clearly ready to leave them to their own devices. “Keep in mind that reactions to heat inducers are unpredictable but fast. You’ll only be in “heat” for about a day. Then you’ll just be sick, but we’ll take it as it comes.” 

Daniel reminds Oscar to text him if they need anything and then leaves them alone. Which - she likes Daniel, but being able to jump the bones of her mates sounds all too appealing. 

“James?” Logan looks pleadingly at Oscars for some kind of reassurance. 

“Is going to get an earful from Max and Daniel. Aside from that, he will probably get a slap on the wrist. Alex is ready to kill him though, if that’s what you wanted.”

The three of them find humor despite the nature of the situation. It’s why she loves them so much. The way she can feel safe and taken care of, but still be herself and laugh and give into her own desires. 

Oscar loses his own clothes. The fireproofs he was wearing around his waist come off in record time. 

“You're still going to race, right Osc?”

“We’ll see-” Oscar nearly jumps when the three of them whine and pout in unison. “I take it that you want me to race?” 

“We’ll make do without you.” 

“Hey!-”

“Liam is good for something after all!” Logan wheezes in laughter. Only for Liam to grumble and decide enough is enough. He takes Logan by the hips and slams right into him. 

She looks between the two of them and Oscar. She leans up to his ear, fully intent on whispering to him but gets a little distracted by his scent while shifting around.

“Need something?” 

Finally, she surrenders herself to the haze knowing she has all her mates with her. “Just you three.” 

[rejectedfables]

While the source material clearly intends Xue Yang to be read as an orphan (perhaps orphaned so young he has no memory of his parents), I think it’s underexplored in fandom that he never ACTUALLY SAYS that his parents DIED, but rather that he was a child without parents. 

"He had neither dad nor mom nor money" (via the official english translation)

I think there's something in here worth exploring about the possibility that Xue Yang was abandoned by his parents. 

Perhaps he remembers one or both of them and/or the event, perhaps he does not but just has a sense of it having happened, perhaps he has no memories of it at all but it still psychologically impacted his development. 

Just about every character in the story can be better understood by looking at how they were raised, and Xue Yang is CERTAINLY not an exception. 

There are myriad ways to interpret his childhood (though none of them stable, safe, or cared for), but I have been thinking a LOT lately about how being abandoned by his parents could have shaped him into who he later became.

His behavior in the Villainous Friends extra (wherein he, seemingly arbitrarily, breaks things and antagonizes people and then specifically challenges Jin Guangyao about paying for damages) COULD be interpreted as acting out in a way that's common for children and teens with a history of abandonment who are testing the waters of just how much their new guardian/s will tolerate. This sort of behavior can be a self fulfilling prophesy as well as an attempt to prove to themselves that their expectations of rejection or punishment are correct.

If Xue Yang has only ever known the world to be a painful place where people reject and abandon him, then that's how he expects the world to continue behaving. If suddenly someone defies this expectation, it is simultaneously a fascinating and wondrous thing, and also a threat to his worldview. After all, if THIS person can be kind and care for him, then why didn't anyone else?

If JGY, who at this point is essentially just his handler, can be unconditionally patient with him... then why couldn't others have been patient with him over much less? And why couldn't his own parents, who had considerably higher responsibility to him, be as patient as JGY?

It's much easier to push and push and push until you break the patience and prove your cynicism correct, than it is to grapple with those painful questions. And after all, Jin Guangyao had an exterior force (Jin Guangshan) requiring him to show patience. And once that force was removed, so was Xue Yang. This, perhaps, felt as much like validation as it did betrayal.

There might be a parallel to be made here, too, about how JGY was and felt betrayed/abandoned by his father. This in common might be something that they bonded over.

And of course, as always, there's Yi City.

Xue Yang expects Xiao Xingchen to abandon him, and his elaborate “revenge” was at least in part in preparation for that anticipated betrayal. He "knows" he will be betrayed and, perhaps unlike what happened with Jin Guangyao, he intends to be ready for it this time. Ready to punish Xiao Xingchen the MOMENT it happens, or ready to convince him not to betray him after all (what is "We're not so different, I'm not uniquely evil, you're ending our life together because you think you're better than me but look! Look! You and I are the same now" if not a deeply misguided and utterly desperate plea?).

At some point he starts hoping it just won't happen, and stops needing the “revenge” plot. When it starts unraveling before him, he tries for understanding first. What is "Hear my story, THEN decide--" if not begging to be understood?

Of course it doesn't work.

Xiao Xingchen doesn't even kill Xue Yang, either; he goes Away. Goes where Xue Yang can't. If Xue Yang is read as having this particular trigger, Xiao Xingchen's suicide may feel like abandonment all over again.

Perhaps Xiao Xingchen NOT killing Xue Yang becomes a parallel to Xue Yang's parents abandoning him to suffer alone instead of keeping him or killing him. Or else maybe Xue Yang's mother DID try to kill him (drown him or left him out in the cold) and he just managed to survive, in which case Xiao Xingchen NOT trying to kill Xue Yang puts him a cut above even Xue Yang's own mother/parents.

Final thought:

While I find Xue Yang's lack of familial connection to the rest of the cast compelling, I also find "what if" scenarios fascinating to explore, and "Xue Yang was abandoned by parents who might still be around during the story" does create some fascinating opportunities for fic.

Such as:

What if Xue Yang was yet another illegitimate son of Jin Guangshan? What if he knew but Jin Guangyao didn't? What if Jin Guangyao knew but Xue Yang didn't? What if Jin Guangshan himself knew? That would really put the insistent protections into a very weird light (is there a heart in there? Or did he think he could string Xue Yang along like he did Jin Guangyao? Or was Xue Yang blackmailing him?)

OR

What if Xue Yang was the illegitimate son of Chang Cian? It certainly puts a spin on that entire scenario. Little Xue Yang has another reason to want to please this man, and a further reason to feel betrayed by the abuse. Chang Cian not even recognizing him. Xue Yang taking revenge on the entire family because they ALL wronged him in a way he can't articulate. Because they got to live the life he could have if he'd been wanted.

Certainly none of this is canon, but it's not TERRIBLY far beyond the bounds of canon either, and makes for some juicy food for fic.

[sepublic]

            I love ragging on Belos but also DAMN he’s fiendishly clever. Like let’s analyze his ‘reunion’ with the Collector;

         Gets caught, Collector is suspicious and scared? Belos immediately calms him down by making the Collector feel in control over his own spell he openly doubted, pointing to the moon symbol on Raine’s forehead; Telling this kid not to worry about his most immediate question! And then Belos justifies the anomaly by playing along with the wishful fantasy rules of a kid who believes in the magic of friendship! Anything can happen, so no need to question any further, he flatters the child.

         Then there’s his next line, in which Belos warns the Collector that he’s in danger, which is incredibly vague and could mean anything; And in the couple of seconds it takes the Collector to react in derision, Belos figures out he needs to be more specific and how to elaborate on this, claiming someone is going to betray the Collector.

         Note that he never name-drops anyone on his own, because Belos doesn’t really know who’s around the Collector, other than Odalia. But just in case, he keeps it vague so the Collector can provide an answer for him, the first person he’d assume, and thus the one whose betrayal he fears the most: King!

         Belos latches onto that. He sees King isn’t here, so he asks where is he? Note he doesn’t give an answer, doesn’t make any claims because he doesn’t KNOW anything. Belos is trying to avoid saying something that can be contradicted later on, so he keeps it vague by throwing a very simple, ‘safe’ question that nevertheless makes the kid doubt.

         The Collector watches, is reassured, looks back to Belos to brag! Then he checks again, sees what King said, and looks away. The kid is concerned, but he’s not jumping to any conclusions, and you may think, oh! This is where he checks again, just to be sure.

         And that’s when Belos drops the bombshell; Luz is here. And as he so cleverly plans, this revelation shocks the Collector, distracting them from checking on King again to hear what he ACTUALLY meant. Because Belos doesn’t know for sure how genuine King is or not, but either way, the less this kid is actually in touch with the outside world, the easier it is for Belos to control the narrative and filter all information through himself. The kid has seen enough to doubt, no need for him to find out more and potentially clarify.

         Likewise, Belos has been manipulating this kid for hundreds of years; Like it or not, the Collector is the longest relationship he’s ever had in his life, by a long shot. He knows the kid’s psychology in and out, he knows exactly which buttons to press, and he guesses at how jealous the Collector can get. If he’s friends with King and holds him in high regard, then King has probably told him about Luz during the time they’ve been hanging out. 

        And that Collector is an insecure kid… So Belos creates an Us VS Them scenario, plays into the Collector’s worst fears of King replacing him for Luz (gee, it’s like Philip speaks these insecurities from experience). The fact that Belos himself contributed deeply to the Collector’s trust issues, and is now using them is just. Ugh.

         Now Luz is something Belos DOES know about, having inhabited Hunter, knowing she followed right behind him and does plan to change things, and herself doesn’t know any more than he does; If anything, she knows less! So Belos is a lot more free to make claims about Luz’s motives and goals here, because he actually knows them for the most part. Luz is something Belos can guarantee and thus reliably interpret for the Collector to support his claim.

        That creates an unpredictable element that unsettles the kid, pair that up with the ambiguity of what King said (never checked back on, due to Belos diverting the Collector’s attention) and you’ve got the perfect recipe to manipulate this child all over again… An empty sandbox the Collector can’t verify from which Belos can craft a new narrative with, and anytime something comes along that can be interpreted in its favor, like the ending of the episode? You betcha.

         God he’s so smart, so confident that you might not even notice at first how baseless Belos’ claims are. You’d understandably think he actually DID somehow know, and wasn’t just adapting and having good luck in guessing! Imagine society if Belos weaponized his autism for actual good.

[fantasyescapes17]

Patience (Part 1)

An elaborate charade- that is what your life has been for these past few years, and it has taken the help of more than one person to balance your delicate lies and secrets. Now entering your final season as an eligible young lady seeking wedded bliss, will you be able to keep up the act in order to achieve your dreams?

Genre: Choi Seungcheol x female!reader. Regency!AU (It's sort of Bridgerton-esque in the sense that I give zero attention to historical accuracy and prioritize aesthetics lmao) You are Jeonghan's sister so your last name is Yoon, but the reader has no other specific characteristics, physical or otherwise.

Word Count: 4.1k+

Part 2

Series Masterlist

"I'm afraid the upcoming season will be Miss Yoon's final opportunity to secure herself a decent husband," the obnoxious woman remarked. 

She did not seem embarrassed that the subject of her gossip (i.e, you) sat immediately across from her in the lavish parlour and well within earshot. She looked straight at you and silently dared you to respond to her callous comment. 

You did not indulge her. You merely sipped your tea. 

"Oh, surely not," her friend replied with a hint of embarrassment. "You mustn't say that, Mrs. Patty! Miss Yoon still has plenty of time before we can write her off as an old maid. She should be perfectly eligible for another two or three seasons, I dare say."

"She might have been, if not for that darling younger sister of hers. I believe little Miss Mina is eighteen now, and will be making her debut in society next season. Am I correct, Miss Yoon?" Mrs. Patty demanded of you. 

You couldn't ignore a question addressed directly to you. You placed your teacup on the table and nodded reluctantly. 

"Yes, Mother believes that my sister should be ready to debut next year," you replied softly. 

Miss Patty looked triumphant. "Well! There you have it! Anyone who has laid eyes on Miss Mina knows that she is the loveliest little creature and I am sure her paltry dowry will not prevent an eligible man from proposing to her. Miss Mina will be snatched up  instantly- and then what shall happen to our dear Miss Yoon? With her younger sister married before her, she won't have a chance!"

The other woman frowned. "Indeed, Miss Mina is uncommonly beautiful. She will have her pick of eligible men."

You rose from your seat abruptly. "Pardon me, ladies. I shall call for some more tea and cakes- we seem to be running short."

You exited the parlour before they had a chance to object, and cursed your mother for leaving you alone to handle the guests. Mother should have known that these infuriating women would show up the instant they heard that the Yoons had arrived in London for the season.

You turned towards the kitchens, hoping that the maids would not offer to help and make your journey redundant. Luckily, the servants were busy unpacking and carrying in your family's belongings. It had been a long journey from the countryside to your London abode- but a necessary one. The Yoon family could not absent themselves from the London season when they had two eligible members of marriageable age.

You turned the corner of the main hallway and came face to face with the other eligible Yoon. Your half-brother, Jeonghan. 

"Jeonghan!" you called out to him hopefully. "Are you going out? Will you take me with you?"

Jeonghan was in the process of lacing up his riding gear and stood to greet you. As your father's only son from his first marriage, Jeonghan became the heir to the entire Yoon estate upon your father's passing. 

"I'm afraid not, sister- I am going out riding with the Lees. You would be required to bring a chaperone," he replied slyly, reminding you, quite unnecessarily, that you could not be seen in public in the company of other single men without a female chaperone present. 

You sighed. "All right- but could you stop by the parlour room before you leave?"

"Why? So that Mrs. Patty may set up a meeting for me with her third niece? There are many things I would do for you, dear sister, but subjecting myself to Mrs. Patty is not among them," Jeonghan replied calmly as he continued to tie the straps of his riding gear. "I am sacrificing plenty for you already. I shall have my hands full at the Grisham's ball tomorrow."

You blinked. "What will happen at the Grisham's ball?"

"I have heard that a certain Mr. Hessington has expressed an interest in you. We shall have to take precautions to ensure he does not find the opportunity to express this interest in front of your mother."

"Oh dear. What does Hessington want?" you despaired. 

Jeonghan smirked. "He wants marriage. They all do. That is the purpose of this elaborate charade of having a season and attending all these social events, is it not? To find a suitable partner in  marriage?"

"Jeonghan, there is only one season left," you reminded him miserably. You reached for your brother's arm. "You must make sure nobody proposes to me this season. From next year everyone will focus on Mina and I will be forgotten- and once she is married then my prospects will be entirely extinguished. You must ensure nothing comes in the way of this."

Jeonghan sighed. "You must be the only woman in London who is actively trying to make herself less eligible for marriage."

"And I have been doing a wonderful job so far. Mrs. Patty said herself that I'm as good as an old maid next season if Mina gets engaged before me. And she surely will be. After that, they'll throw me aside with the old maids and governesses and widows."

"Six months more?"

You nodded eagerly. "Six months more. I will be in your debt forever, Jeonghan."

He sighed. "You certainly shall be. I've become nothing short of a villain in my step-mother's eyes since you persuaded me to tell her that I had reduced your dowry. She has most of the ton convinced that I am an evil brother stealing his sisters' rightful inheritance."

"But we had to do that. A large dowry would make me attractive to men looking to marry for a fortune," you reminded him. 

Jeonghan sighed. "I know. All the same, I've set aside your money. You and Mina will have your dowries once this charade is over. All of the dowry, I mean, not the paltry amount I told your mother you would receive."

You shook your head with a smile. 

"I don't need it."

"Don't refuse money when it's offered to you, good god, woman, have you lost your senses?" Jeonghan said lightly. He placed his hands on his hips and smiled back at you. "You seem more cheerful  than usual."

"We're almost at the end of this charade. Six more months," you replied excitedly. 

"Well, do try to look less cheerful. For all the ton knows, you're a woman with little dowry, no prospects, a prettier younger sister, and getting on in age. People will begin to wonder what you have to be so happy about."

You smiled to yourself. 

You had plenty to be happy about. And Mrs. Patty and the rest of the ton could choke on their tea and biscuits- they would never find out.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Your mother maintained a tight grip on your arm as she steered you around the corners of the large ballroom on the Grisham's summer estate. 

Your arm was beginning to feel numb.

"Now," your mother said firmly. "Don't you be discouraged by what Mrs. Patty says. You're a young woman of good breeding and though you're not nearly as charming as Mina, there's nothing wrong with you. Lesser women than you have secured wealthy husbands, do you understand?'

You resisted the urge to sigh. "Yes, mother."

"But you mustn't become lax about this. You need to consider what might happen to us if … if that boy Jeonghan decides to cast us out. You and your sister must marry well before that happens."

You turned to your mother in surprise. "Mother! Jeonghan would never do such a thing!"

Your mother had very little love for her stepson and she was not shy about admitting it. "Well, he's already stolen half your dowries, there's no knowing what he'll do next. We may be on the streets soon. Even sooner, if he decides to marry and his new wife decides to be rid of us. Your marriage is important."

You sighed. "Yes, mother."

"Now put on a smile and look a little more graceful."

You took a deep breath and straightened your shoulders. It was a delicate line you walked in social events such as these. You had to look dignified and well-mannered enough to satisfy your mother, but not so captivating that you captured the attention of any potential suitors. It only got easier with time. You were older and consequently less attractive than the young girls in the room, and the ton would certainly have heard the news of your reduced dowry. 

You tried not to make eye contact with any men as you quietly moved through the crowd like a wallflower. You were suddenly and abruptly met by a very tall man that appeared before you. 

"Miss Yoon. May I have the pleasure of the next dance?"

You breathed a sigh of relief as you recognised the man. He had a mischievous smile on his face. "Mr. Kim! Oh thank heavens, I was worried that it was an actual suitor."

Mr. Kim Mingyu had the decency to look offended as he took your hand and swept you skillfully towards the dance floor for a lively waltz. 

"Do you think that we would allow an actual suitor within ten feet of you? We've been doing this for three years now, Miss Yoon. We're professionals now, I dare say. There's one of us stationed in each section of the room and we are ready to intervene in case any man shows the slightest bit of  interest towards you."

You laughed. "Well, don't I feel well-protected."

"You are."

"I'm very sorry that you all have to spend your social gatherings watching out for me in this manner. Hopefully, this is the last season that this will be required," you apologised honestly. 

"Nonsense. I rather enjoy it," Mingyu chuckled. 

You shook your head. "I don't believe you. Surely you would rather save your dances for a woman in whom you have a genuine interest? I notice that the young lady in cerulean blue over there cannot keep her eyes away from us."

Mingyu cleared his throat and took a quick peek in the direction you nodded your head. "Ah. Well, that can't be helped. She's better off without me in any case, I've garnered a reputation as a rake. Dancing with me would only tarnish her prospects."

You raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"Yes," he replied simply. 

"I suppose I cannot argue- being in the unique position of not caring about my own prospects makes me a poor judge. May I ask what you have done to have yourself labelled as a rake by the ton?" you enquired. 

Mingyu smiled. "Other than being naturally charming, rich and handsome?"

"I'm afraid those qualities make for an eligible bachelor, Mr. Kim, not a rake."

Mingyu merely chuckled without offering further explanation as the dance came to an end. He gracefully led you off to the side, where you were drawn into a conversation with some other co-conspirators- namely Mr. Lee Seokmin and Mr. Kwon Soonyoung. 

"Miss Yoon," was the cheerful greeting you received from a grinning Mr. Kwon. "I hope your quest to prevent all offers of matrimony fares well? I am pleased to report that the ton seems to be losing interest in you."

You smiled gratefully. "You bring glad tidings, Mr. Kwon. But I heard that Mr. Hessington…."

"Mr. Hessington is being informed of your reduced dowry and impending state of poverty at this very moment," Mr. Lee Seokmin reassured you. His eyes subtly darted towards the other end of the ballroom where your half-brother was in the middle of a conversation with Mr. Hessington himself. You could not hear what was being spoken, but there was no mistaking Mr. Hessington's alarmed expression at whatever Jeonghan said to him.  

"Delightful," you replied. 

"We have further pleasant tidings for you," Mr. Kwon continued. His hand slid into his waistcoat and he cast a furtive glance around before withdrawing something and slipping it surreptitiously into your hands. You tucked it away into the folds of your gown hastily- but not before ascertaining that it was a small envelope. 

Your eyes brightened in anticipation. "Could it be…"

"Indeed," Mr. Kwon replied with a large smile. "I was able to stop by a certain estate that shall remain unnamed on my way to London, and catch up with a dear friend of ours. He bid me to deliver a letter by hand that he dared not risk sending by post, lest it be intercepted by unwelcome parties. It will be safe, I trust, in your possession?” 

You couldn’t hold back your smile. “Very safe, indeed.”

“I certainly hope so, because your mother approaches us and she looks rather red in the face.”

Your plans to sneak away to a quiet corner and read your letter were thwarted instantly by the approach of your mother. She was flushed and huffing, although she attempted to calm herself when she noticed that you were in the company of Mr. Kwon and Mr. Lee- while they were not the most eligible bachelors in the room, they were eligible and rich enough for your mother to greet them with her politest smile.  

“Mr. Kwon, Mr. Lee. What a pleasure to see you in London,” she tittered.  “I do hope you will find the time to call on us for tea later this week."

They both greeted her politely and accepted her invitation with the usual graces, before your mother took hold of your arm and steered you away from them. 

"Is everything all right, mother?" you asked, concerned. 

"All right? I have just heard- the most terrible news- Mr. Hessington had expressed an interest in courting you but that odious brother of yours has gone and told him about your dowry! I have half a mind to expose that conniving little man for what he is- a thief, a monster-"

"Mother, you must calm down," you insisted gently. "There must be some misunderstanding-"

Your mother was distraught. "Oh, what shall we do? If you are not married this season- we shall be left on the streets unless Mina marries exceedingly well but if that boy Jeonghan continues to ruin her prospects as well-"

"Nobody could ruin Mina's prospects. She is the sweetest, prettiest creature and you know everyone will fall in love with her when she comes into society. Perhaps we should accept that my time is coming to an end, mother…."

"No! No, you cannot give up, my dear. We shall find you a husband this season!"

You sighed. "Yes, mother-"

"Go, go back to Mr. Kwon and Mr. Lee- perhaps one of them will ask you to dance, they seem like nice young gentlemen and the evening is not yet over…"

You extricated yourself from your mother- but instead of returning to company, you slid along the length of the ballroom until you succeeded in finding a remote and private corner behind a table of refreshments and some heavy curtains. You eagerly pulled out the small envelope Soonyoung had given you and unfolded its contents as your heart swelled in anticipation. 

My love,

It has been too long since we last spoke. I hope you and your family are well. Although I have met your brother a few times this year and heard news of you from him, it saddens me that you must always be so far away from me. 

I will be travelling to London on business next week- I may not be able to stay the entire season, as you know well, but may I be so bold as to ask for a glimpse of your beautiful smile while I am in the city? I would be honoured if you would grant me a dance at Almack's on Thursday night. But do not put yourself to trouble, my love- if the thought of meeting me in public makes you uneasy or if your feelings for me have changed during our separation, know that I would never resent you. I desire nothing more than your happiness and well-being. 

Forever yours

S. 

Your heart danced wildly as you tucked the contents back into the folds of your dress. It had been too long since you had received a letter from Seungcheol- a few close calls with your nosy mother intercepting your mail had made it too dangerous for him to write to you by normal post. 

But to finally see him again after so many months apart! And on Thursday, so soon! You had to turn your face to the wall to hide your giddy smile. Three years of a secret, clandestine courtship had not diminished your adoration of the man in the slightest. You still felt as strongly for Mr. Choi Seungcheol as you had the very first time he smiled at you with his bright smile and took your hand in his gentle grasp for your very first dance, so many years ago. 

You took a moment to compose yourself (it would not be appropriate to be seen looking so giddy) and slipped out of your corner. Your brother had been poking around at the refreshment table and he approached you when he saw you- Jeonghan's expression was grim. 

"I think I shall avoid dining at home for the time being," Jeonghan told you drily. "I fear my step-mother may really intend to poison me for what I have done tonight."

You sighed. You were not ignorant of how much Jeonghan had sacrificed for your sake. "I am sorry for the trouble I have put you through because of all this, Jeonghan. I will try to calm my mother."

His eyes softened. "I don't require an apology from you, sister."

"Gratitude, then?" you offered gently. 

"If you could keep your mother away from any sharp objects or poisonous substances, that should be sufficient recompense for now," he replied with a chuckle. "So. I heard from Mr. Kwon that a certain Mr. Choi will be in London in a few days."

You bit back a smile. "Yes."

Jeonghan patted you on the arm gently. "I am glad you will have a chance to see him. Perhaps we can arrange to have your mother occupied elsewhere for the evening…"

You shook your head. "I will handle mother myself, Jeonghan," you reassured him. "You have done plenty. "

Jeonghan looked contemplative for a moment. "I sincerely hope you and Seungcheol can be happy together soon, sister. I would not have put my own reputation at stake if I did not hold his character- and yours-  in the highest regard."

You smiled. A genuine compliment from Jeonghan was rare, and that made it all the more precious. You squeezed his hand on your arm. 

"Thank you, brother."

"Now- let us walk away quickly. I see Mrs. Patty approaches and she has that idiotic niece of hers right behind her…"

—----------------------------------------------------

The days trickled past slowly and painfully until Thursday evening finally arrived. Through your own clever manipulations, you had persuaded your mother to attend a card party being held by Mrs. Patty and to allow you to attend Almack's alone chaperoned by Viscountess Hong- one of the few married young women that your mother could be persuaded to entrust you with. 

"I hope, Viscountess, that you will recommend my daughter to some of your acquaintances," your mother pressed. "You have done so well for yourself. I hope you can be a positive influence on her."

Viscountess Hong smiled. She had not been married long; her husband, Viscount Joshua Hong, had been renowned as one of the most eligible bachelors in London not long ago. It did not come as a surprise to anyone when their marriage was announced in the papers, however. The gossip-minded members of the ton had long known that Viscount Hong was smitten with a young lady of humble origins. 

Your mother admired any woman who could achieve the difficult task of marrying above her station. 

"I will be a responsible and careful chaperone, Mrs. Yoon. You may rest assured that I will take excellent care of your daughter for the evening," the Viscountess promised. 

Your mother waved you off and you could not help the butterflies that erupted in your stomach as you climbed into the Hongs' carriage. Viscount Hong was waiting outside and greeted you in his usual kind and pleasant manner. 

You thanked him nervously. "I'm very grateful for your invitation. I was worried that my mother would not be persuaded to let me visit Almack’s tonight without a female  chaperone."

Viscountess Hong took your hand warmly. "Of course, we would never allow that! I’ve had the pleasure of seeing Seungcheol often this past year, and the man never smiles quite as brightly as when someone mentions your name. I'm afraid the man is quite devoted to you, Miss Yoon."

You felt shy, and bit your lip. "I-I do care for him a great deal."

Viscountess Hong beamed.

It was a pleasant carriage ride to Almack's- the Hongs kept you engaged in conversation and their friendly presence helped calm your nerves. As Viscountess Hong told you about the day she first met her husband, your mind drifted back to your own fateful introduction to Mr. Choi Seungcheol four years ago. 

—------------------------------------

The estate was magnificent. 

"Oh! A marble fountain! It is so beautiful!" your younger sister Mina cried out in delight at the sight of the immaculate gardens and the enormous white fountain that towered in the centre, gently spouting water. 

Your mother (despite being notoriously difficult to impress) also looked at the enormous estate and manor appreciatively. "Indeed, this estate is quite lovely. Perhaps we should plant some flowers like those back home. You say this manor belongs to Mr. Choi?" she asked your brother. 

Jeonghan nodded. "Yes- Mr. Choi Seungcheol was a close friend of mine at Oxford. His father passed away two years ago and he inherited the estate. He was more than happy to invite us all to stay at the manor while I take care of some business here in Derbyshire.  The weather is lovely here this time of year."

"Very generous," your mother remarked thoughtfully as a servant unloaded the marriage behind you. "And… is there a Mrs. Choi?"

Jeonghan smiled tightly. "There was. she passed away in childbirth four years ago."

"He is a widower, then. And has a child," your mother remarked, displeased. 

Jeonghan nodded. "Yes."

"Pity," your mother whispered to you, as she took your arm and walked towards the manor out of Jeonghan's earshot. "I was almost beginning to imagine you being mistress of this lovely estate. But you may find a way to have a marble fountain without having to marry a widower."

You blinked at your mother in surprise. It was no secret that she had not been your father's first wife. 

"But you married a widower," you said, surprised. 

Your mother shot you a sharp look. 

"Exactly, my dear."

Before you could question her further on this hypocritical viewpoint, the entrance to the manor burst open. Servants emerged to unload your carriage and carry your things inside. They were followed by a tall, well-dressed man with a handsome smile that you barely managed to glimpse before your view was blocked by your brother stepping into your path. 

“Seungcheol!” 

The two men shook hands warmly, and you could see from Jeonghan’s unusually relaxed manner that he carried a great deal of affection and trust for Mr. Choi. They exchanged greetings for a moment, before Jeonghan finally stepped aside and allowed you to feast your eyes on Mr. Choi properly. 

“Seungcheol- allow me to introduce you to my family. My father’s wife, Mrs. Yoon- and my two sisters, Miss Yoon and Miss Mina.” 

You curtsied without taking your eyes off the startlingly handsome man. Seungcheol bowed politely in return. His manner was calm and suited a respectable and confident man- but there was something in his large eyes that sparkled with liveliness and joy. You had seen handsome men before- Jeonghan often had friends over for dinner and you had spent time in society. 

But no man had ever made you feel quite so giddy. 

“We are very grateful for your hospitality, Mr. Choi,” your mother said performatively. “Your estate is lovely. My daughters and I were just discussing how delightful that marble fountain is.” 

Seungcheol smiled and glanced at the fountain. “Ah- yes, that was my own personal selection. I am rather fond of it myself. And allow me to say, madam, that it is a pleasure to be host to you and your lovely daughters. Your arrival has been long-awaited- not only by myself but by certain other members of my household.” 

It was only then that you finally tore your eyes away from Mr. Choi’s smile and noticed that another person stood behind him. A small, dark-haired boy of no more than four years old with the same bright eyes as Mr. Choi was clinging shyly to his father’s legs. 

“Allow me to introduce my son- Jiwoo.” 

-------------------------

A/N: So this is my first time posting for Seventeen! I used to have a moderately successful fanfiction blog for a different kpop group on here a few years ago but I took a break and just wanted to start afresh since Seventeen is the only group I keep up with these days, and I miss writing.

I mostly plan to write some fantasy AUs over the next couple months (got some more regency, royal and other fantasy ideas brewing) so we'll see how it goes.

[rachetmath]

Jaune the Strategist

Jaune: Um… General Ironwood? I have a question.

Ironwood: What is it Mr. Arc?

Jaune: Why not release the video footage of Tyrian killing a bunch of people?

Clover: Are you crazy? If we release such a video it cause panic in Mantle.

Jaune: I hear you. But... isn’t the Atlas military already being framed for countless murders?

Ironwood: Yes.

Jaune: And no one in Mantle is willing to follow protocol because they don’t trust us right?

Ironwood: Well... yes.

Jaune: Okay. So why not use this to our advantage?

Ruby: Explain.

Jaune: I mean come on. Seriously? We have proof. We have video display. And if this has been happening for a while then we have dead bodies that can hold our case.

Ironwood: Mr. Arc, I’m going to need you to further elaboration.

Jaune: What’s there to- Look, Tyrian has been killing people for a while, right?

Qrow: Yeah.

Jaune: We have video proof that he committed the massacre at Robin’s party. We could just report this and clear Penny’s name.

Ironwood: That is true.

Jaune: Plus with the few bodies Tyrian left behind, which I’m hoping your Atlas soldiers investigated completely. Like the time and location of death. As well as how they died. Basically if Tyrian left multiple victims, can’t we compare them to the other corpses from the party.

Ironwood: Huh.

Jaune: Not only that but Tyrian has a poisonous tail. Didn’t some of them have a hint poison consumed or at least small pick to their bodies.

Ironwood: Oh. That is something to consider.

Clover: Okay, but still doesn’t change the fact if we tell the people a killer is on the loose it will cause panic.

Jaune: True. But it could also make people listen. Think about it, they’re already being invaded by grimm everyday. And now they have killer amongest them. Wouldn’t that force them to reconsider they’re options?

Clover: … My… My Oum he could right.

Marrow: Okay but what about Robyn?

Jaune: Mantle’s Champion? Happy Huntresses? Are you serious? Do you honestly think she would not make a killer her top priority?

Marrow: Huh.

Jaune: I’m just saying, why are we keeping this under raps and quickly turning to Martial law?

Ironwood: Wow… anything else Mr.Arc

Jaune: Why frame Penny?

Ruby: She’s the Protector of Mantle.

Jaune: She also a robot. With a human soul. Who recorded everything! Who so far never got hacked? So why her specifically? If anything I would have got Penny out the way and framed one of the Ace-ops. Specifically Marrow. Hell why not frame Robyn herself?

Marrow: Whoa why me?

Jaune: You know why.

Blake: But tell us why.

Ironwood: Damn he’s right. That absolutely makes sense considering he’s a Faunus and recent member of the Ace ops.

Jaune: Exactly.

Blake: Are you two serious?!

Jaune: Blake think about how much conflict that would cause. A faunus in the Atlas military. An Ace operative killed and injured a bunch of innocent people. Humans and faunuses mind you. Not only would that cause division amongest the people of Mantle but the school and the soldiers.

Ironwood: He’s right. We have faunases who attend this school and are apart our units.

Jaune: It’ll be chaos. Racism and Hatred in the air. And with that much negativity the grimm attacks would be sky rocketing to the masses. Screw trying to get Amity Arena up we might as well have focused our time on containment. Hell that would been a better reason to initiate Martial law. Something I think Robyn would agree to. Considering Fiona is a faunus and her teammate.

Ironwood: So basically framing Penny was-

Jaune: A stupid idea? ABSO-FREAKEN-LUTLY!! Who ever made this plan had to be dumb as bricks.

Watts: *sneezes*

Jaune: I’m mean now I might as well ask this question. Has anyone ever disagreed with Penny’s creation?

Ironwood: I mean-… ... actually... yes we had a few people who disagreed.

Jaune: Also if you have a file for Tyrian, then what about Cinder, Emerald, Mercury or Hazel?

Ironwood: Why yes we---- Hold up. You all saw Hazel?

Jaune: Yeah.

Ironwood: And you survived?

Nora: Yes. Though with our tails between our legs. How do you know him?

Ironwood: How do you think I lost half of my body?

Jaune: Damn. And I thought Ren and Qrow had it worse. How powerful is he?

Ironwood: He crippled Ozpin.

Oscar: (And he said he stood a chance. He could’ve killed us both.)

Jaune: (We’ll most definitely need to jump him.) An-anyways, back on topic. So, who out all the other people were against the Penny project? Simply put who hates Pietro the most?

Ironwood: Well… there was Professor Watts.

Jaune: Professor Watts?

Ironwood: He was an inventor as well. He was even to soul creator of the Atlas robots you’re associated with. However he died in accident.

Jaune: How long ago?

Ironwood: Months ago?

Jaune: Okay now that’s weird.

Weiss: So what Jaune? He died.

Winter: Yes but I understand why Mr.Arc is suspicious. In Cinder’s file, after committing four first degree murders she disappeared.

Jaune: Then she suddenly appears back at Beacon with a way to hack the military.

Clover: Tyrian was captured but then escaped and he disappeared as well.

Qrow: Then he came out nowhere and tried to capture Ruby.

Ironwood: Hazel disappeared once too.

Oscar: And then I saw him on my way to Mistral.

Jaune: Is any of this making sense?

Ironwood: Yes. Clover I need you to follow up on some the victims of the previous crimes. And Winter I need you look into Watt’s case. Lets make sure he’s dead. If not we need evidence.

Winter: Yes sir.

Ironwood: Well, Mr. Arc it seem I underestimated your intelligence. I will not call in Martial law.

Jaune: No-no. Keep it in mind.

Nora: SAY WHAT?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE TRYING TO AVOID IT!!

Jaune: I am. But Robyn could still cause trouble for us down the road. We need to be ready when she could take things too far.

Nora: But-

Ironwood: It’s only if she continues to be an obstacle.

Nora: *silent*

Ironwood: Alright. Everyone back to work. Keep an eye out for Tyrian. And if you learn anything you report to me immediately.

Ace-ops: Yes sir.

Ren: Yes sir.

*JNPR Dorm Room*

Nora: Jaune, I can’t believe you sided with Ironwood.

Ren: Nora, it is a constitutions plan. It’s not going to happen.

Nora: I’m just saying the people of Mantle are already having a hard time.

Ren: I understand but-

Nora: But what? That getting Amity Arena up is more important than helping the people.

Ren: What about the world? What about all of Remnant?

Nora: How can help the world if we can’t help a country?!

Ren: We can’t always focus on the small things Nora. We need to consider the bigger picture.

Nora: So after all we’ve been through before you want to throw that away?

Ren That not what I’m saying. I-

Jaune: ENOUGH!!

Jaune: Please. Stop arguing.

Ren: Jaune, look I want to say-

Jaune: Stop. Sit. Both of you.

Nara and Ren: *sit separately from each other*

Jaune: Look, Nora, I understand. I know Mantle going through hard times. Due to the trading routes and transportation being limited, people are starting to struggle to get in and out of city. Stores and companies are closed so people are having trouble finding work. And without work, they can’t make money. And without money they can’t pay rent nor provide for their families. Basically majority of those people might as well not have homes soon.

Nora: Then you know why Martial law can’t happen. It will make things worse.

Jaune: Yes. That is why I would rather keep it as a last resort. However, with Mantle’s lack of funding and resources, I almost can’t blame Robyn for what’s she’s doing. However, two wrongs don’t make a right.

Nora: Hmm.

Ren: Well said Jaune.

Jaune: And you. Don’t think I’m openly siding with Ironwood. I only did that because I need everyone on the same page.

Ren: Jaune.

Jaune: At Beacon, Amber, Ozpin and Pyrrha died. Then the world got divide. Mistral, we almost died.

Nora: We survived.

Jaune: Through the skin of our teeth Nora! We got lucky! And Hazel, Emerald and Mercury stilled escaped!

Nora: *hates when he’s right*

Jaune: Now Tyrian is here. And even if my theory on Watts is correct, we still don’t know what they’re up to. Not to mention, we’re keeping secrets too. Especially, about Salem., who may have sent them here to retrieve the lamp. And worse, kill Oscar.

Nora and Ren: … … …

Jaune: Look… … Basically what I’m saying we need to be careful. We are no longer students. We are hunters. Every move we make could jeopardize what we are trying to accomplish. Even the people we trust could be a problem if we’re not careful.

Nora: So you don’t trust Ruby?

Jaune: Yeah. But keeping these secrets could get us in trouble, or most likely, have a gun to our heads. And Ironwood has plenty of them compared to us.

Ren: So what should we do?

Jaune: We do what we started this journey for. We search for answers.

[rwbyrg]

If it's alright, I'm just curious, do you have any thoughts of your own or theories about Oscar or Ruby or both of them in terms of v10? To add, do you have any theories for the merge and how it will end up for both Oscar and Ozpin? Like will it be a good or bad thing? Sorry if these questions seem vague lol

Of course it's alright to ask! I do have many thoughts and a handful of theories. I'll admit most of them are wishful thinking since there's truly no way to tell where the story will go until it actually happens. But if I were to distill it to the ones I'm most expecting and why, then I'd probably say:

Expansion on Ruby's solo arc that kicked off in V9

Acknowledging the setups (plural) between Ruby and Oscar's arcs

The merge-curse is eventually broken (blame the allusions)

I'll elaborate a bit below.

1. Expanding on Ruby's Arc

What we saw Ruby go through in V9 is very much not the end of that particular plot line, imo. We saw a bit of this in Justice League: Part 2 and the final ep of RWBY Beyond where she talks to Clark and Yang about her struggles a bit. Ruby needs to learn how to both ask for and accept help from those around her so the weight of everything she's carrying doesn't crush her. Especially now when they're down to the wire and she's come back as a resurrected martyr who's face has been used at the centre of the resistance movement she's now helping to lead. How will she live up to the expectations and pressures of that impossible pedestal when she's only a human girl with very normal knees who's barely keeping it together? Also, while I don't know exactly how they're going to address everything she experienced, and I struggle to imagine her speaking about Neo's Horror House to anyone directly... that sort of trauma doesn't just go away once it's over. So I would be very surprised if the effects of it didn't ripple throughout the remaining chapters of the show. Especially when every other member of RWBY has seemingly had the bulk of their main character arcs already. It's long overdue for Ruby to get that time in the spotlight. Which does sort of lead into my next point...

2. Acknowledging the Setups in Ruby and Oscar's Dynamic

For starters, we've got the merge and ascension parallels to address. Ruby and Oscar have always mirrored each other's issues around identity, choice, fear, responsibility, leadership, etc., and this buildup seems to be coming to a head following V9. From Oscar's "I'm just going to be another one of his lives, aren't I?" to Ruby's "What if you could be anyone?", and how the two of them will relate to each other in light of those contrasting - but similar - experiences. Especially with Ruby having just come back from the tree to find Oscar fighting against the merge harder than ever before. But we also have their attachments to each other to sort out as well. Ruby and Oscar have been watching each other's backs in different ways since V5, their reunion hug in V8 was interrupted where no other "pairing's" was, and they were the only "pairing" still to be split up between the Ever After and Remnant. Not to mention that, while they were separated, Ruby was pushed to a breaking point after being shown an illusion of losing Oscar, while Oscar was back in the real world eulogizing about how he lost Ruby. CRWBY doesn't setup relationship parallels and focuses as intensely and intentionally as this without pay off at some point.

Again, while the specifics are nearly impossible to predict, I'm expecting a bit of a Dojo Scene Reprise, heart-to-heart of sorts, and/or, something that puts those attachments to the test. My immediate thought is that this test will finally push Oscar to unlocking his semblance since getting shot, falling from Atlas, being kidnapped, and tortured were all not enough to make it happen. (Although my wishful thinking is that it unlocks in a happier moment, I think that's much less likely.)

If I were to engage in pure speculation on this, my easiest bet is that it will come at the hands of Tyrian. When our Little Prince was first introduced, it was almost as if he was waking from a nightmare of that villain laughing with glee at the opportunity to hunt down a certain rose. And with this being the Vacuo arc with Ruby and Oscar getting a lot of focus, and Tyrian already on the prowl within the kingdom, it would make a lot of sense. The little prince fated to have a confrontation with a venomous antagonist in the desert over his attachment to a rose is about as textbook as it gets. (I could also see it go to Cinder or being delayed until they follow through on the threat of Ruby being kidnapped by Salem, if that's the route they decide to take. But again we'll have to wait and see how it plays out.)

3. Oscar and the Merge

I'm not entirely sure where they're headed with this one between now and the resolution... but I do think the resolution itself will otherwise be a happy one, if not bittersweet. RWBY is a story about breaking cycles, and Oz has been part of one of the longest on Remnant since the very beginning. Pairing that with this show being, ultimately, a happy story, as well as a looking at two of Oscar and Oz's shared allusions, I can only imagine they will be separated by the end.

The first allusions to mention are from The Marvelous Land of Oz. Princess Ozma (aka Oscar) is the rightful heir to the kingdom and next in line to take over when it's time for the wizard to retire. It's very clear that - however this plays out - Oscar is the final incarnation. Typically, when one ruler leaves the throne that's it. They're gone. Oz has fiddled with Remnant's history for countless millennia now in his endless fight against Salem. When the dust settles and it's time for Remnant to rebuild, it should be up to the new generation to take charge without his influence from "the old world" in the mix.

From a Little Prince lens - for those unfamiliar with the book - the aviator (aka Oz) spends much of the story waffling about the little prince he is stranded with in the desert... only to be very sad when his new friend leaves him behind to go home to the stars. RWBY is already subverting this story a bit with Oscar being the one wanting to be rid of his pilot instead of the other way around. If I were to guess how the show will carry this further, it would be that Oz moves on, but perhaps with some lingering attachment on either (or both) sides. Maybe a bit of a "all this time I wanted it to end, but now that it's finally happening, I wish I (you) didn't have to go".

At least that's what seems to make sense to me, thematically speaking. Oscar will be irreversibly changed by these events even if he is freed from the curse, however. There is no question about it. Because that is what the Hero's Journey is all about.

The hero leaves their farm and they fall through a new world. It is both horrifying and exciting in equal measure. And throughout it all they are changed by the experiences they have and the people they meet - both good and bad, within their control and outside of it. And when the quest is finally over, there is grief. Because you are not the same person you were when you left home, and you can never truly return to what you had and who you were before it all happened.

This is also, coincidentally, just what it means to grow up. Which - while not the only one, and certainly not unique to Oscar's arc alone - has always been one of the loudest allegories hiding within the merge to me. We meet and know people, we don't always have a say in how long they can stay and how they change us... and then one day they are gone, but their influence and our memories of them stay with us. And then, as RWBY has taught us since the very beginning, we keep moving forward despite it all.

( @creatoriamari tagging you here just in case to make sure you get the notif because I don't know if it still works if I saved the ask as a draft. 🙇‍♀️)

[archivalofsins]

I feel like people really do pick and choose when Jackalope is an unreliable source of information.

This would be fine if it this were ever tied to any of his characterization over the course of series. Yet, half the time it just boils down to him saying something that a person subjectively doesn't agree with.

Then that someone going,

"Remember the characters can lie, they aren't infallible, this includes Jackalope~ <3 Please and thank you!"

Without explaining or even going over any of times Jackalope has been overtly bias. Of which they are many to actually elaborate further on why they believe this is the case. It's honestly why I've been getting really sick of the blanket term vibes when it comes to describing the character of an individual or concept.

It's such an easy way to discount something without giving it much thought.

Saying that the characters can be bias is pretty much the same as that to me. Except it oddly glances over the fact that the audience can be bias as well and usually when someone tells someone something is the case without evidence that means one of two things,

A. They don't want to think about the topic too much themselves.

B. They don't want you to think about the topic too much yourself.

Either way they don't want anyone thinking which is never a good thing.

(Edited for clarity and to expand on certain points: 07/19/2024 12:58pm)

For example- if I were to say,

"Ya, know I don't like how Jackalope discussed Yuno. I feel like he was being a bit dishonest in the report on her at the end of trial two. I mean we know he has a bias for cute women and it seems like he's just agreeing with her statement because she's his type."

That would still have more thought put into it than what people have been saying about his report on Mikoto and I could actually prove that. Because it directly aligns with how he has consistently been portrayed.

But I didn't say he was fucking lying for her because even though he has a bias towards cute girls he has no fucking reason to. But you just said he has a bias towards her so he would lie to keep her looking good and make us think it was really that simple if he liked her.

Have none of you been watching? Do you not know what makes Jackalope go apeshit? From the web series and the novels yet? What really gets this motherfucker heated more than any woman- Let me give a quick refresher.

"It’s not easy. Of course it’s not easy. Crime is not easy! Punishment is not easy!! Don’t I know it! But don’t you see! What I’m looking for is there, in that decision arrived at only after wading through all that morass!! …Ahem. Sorry, got a little heated."

His Milgram. His Experiment. The thing that he is here to test. The first novel goes to extra lengths to expand on this hyper focus he has on this experiment and what Milgram sets out to do.

So, I don't have to question his honesty on Yuno because I know whatever he says is being said in a way as to not mess up the process. Because that is what he is the most interested in. Regardless of if he doesn't always agree with the results.

That's why it personally irks me when someone just goes- Remember, the characters can be swayed by their own subjective beliefs and experiences. So, they can be unreliable narrators. This includes Jackalope without delving into any of his characterization.

Because I don't know, some people may really believe that Jackalope just shows up to tell lies and has no vested interest in Milgram as a facility or the experiment taking place.

But secondly-

Yeah, that's how good characterization works. Like yeah that's just characterization...

Sometimes, I feel like in this day and age if some were to read a first-person novel where the narrator was unreliable for any number of reasons.... Ugh, they might legitimately believe the book was lying to them. Like the book was being dishonest. Instead of that being a very specific aspect connected to the characterization of the character perceiving the events of the story.

So, I'm gonna do it myself because some people are honestly doing Jackalope dirty right now. Which I thought I'd never have to defend the rabbit but-

Jackalope does not care about Mikoto Kayano. Let's dissect.

Firstly Mikoto is the prisoner Jackalope admitted from the very beginning he doesn't give a damn about one way or the other-

In the very first voice drama. He didn't even want to spend more than one second talking about the man when they got to him.

Like oh he's biased. Yeah but was he ever biased against prisoners for personal reasons not pertaining to their crimes?

Jackalope from day one-

No he admitted to not being interested in the prisoners personal information to the point of not even remembering their ages. So, he wouldn't even know enough about Mikoto to hate him personally. Yet he notes that he doesn't know anything about their personal lives he never states he doesn't know anything about their crimes just that this is something for the guard to discern on their own.

I mostly bring this up because it showcases just how little Mikoto is on Jackalope's personal radar. There are other things that show this as well that we'll get into but this is the very first.

Honestly, from this alone it feels like Jackalope does not and has never cared that much for Mikoto. He didn't even care enough to check what the fuck was going on with him and his strange sleeping patterns even though they're fucking noted on his prisoner description on the website.

You know the thing that tipped Kotoko off that he may have dissociative identity disorder to begin with.

Kotoko is more emotionally invested in Mikoto than Jackalope ever has been,

"I already noticed Mikoto Kayano's weird behavior a while ago, and since I'm in the room right next to his, I kept and eye on him."

Why did you save me...? "Because your existence is helpful to me." That's... not an explanation... "I guess you're right. I'll be answering that question when it's my turn." ... ... "I don't mean to pre-empt things here after all." ...gh... Damn it... Mikoto... Suddenly lashing out like that... "Warden-san, look over here." What is it not Koto-...ko? "The hit got blocked in midair...? So, it's true that inmates can't attack you. Then why was Mikoto Kayano able to hit you...?" ...This is bad for my heart. Stop it. Besides, that's what i'd like to know as well... Ngh... It's time... Get out, Kotoko. "The song extraction thing, huh. Are you trying to say that something I'm not allowed to see?" I'm ignoring your question. Get out. "...Hm. Either way this has become interesting, hasn't it?" Kotoko...

"You've realized it too, haven't you? Based on this confirmation, it's likely that Mikoto Kayano has dissociative identity disorder, or in other words, a split personality."

Kotoko even blatantly admits to stalking Mikoto in her first voice drama,

"For example, me being suspicious of Mikoto Kayano's actions, carefully tracking him and his behavior."

Jackalope didn't care enough to look into any of the prisoners personally then and he still doesn't care now.

Hell, he cares more about being Futa's number one, day one, never gonna stop hater-

Then he will ever care about Mikoto. That is how little he cares.

But he cares enough to say he hates Futa without knowing anything about him personally. So, he could. Yeah, again, he doesn't know anything about them personally, but he knows their crimes/what they are in here for and can easily like or dislike them based on a number of biases outside of that information.

He just has never liked Futa and has done nothing to hide that fact.

Seriously, Jackalope said this shit from the beginning but I still had people up my ass like Jackalope would never lie about the severity of Futa's injuries in comparison to Mahiru's. Whaaaa- What do you mean?!

Meanwhile-

Jackalope what time is it? Hating o'clock you say, damn I guess-

"Because he was found “guilty”, he’s tormented, engulfed with anxiety. Shaking in his boots, I’d say. So amusing."

If Futa has one hater, I know it's going to be Jackalope. It will be no one else. If someone out there believe they're Futa's number one hater, they are wrong it is this rabbit. Jackalope is the guy in this niche situation.

Jackalope doesn't even give enough of a fuck to know Mikoto's name. If it wasn't on the incarceration sheet I doubt he would even know it. (this is hyperbole for comedic effect. I think he'd at least remember the dudes name.)

Still seriously I don't get what some people are on. Mikoto is not everyone's main character and that's fine. He doesn't need to be.

Jackalope said,

"This boy is bland and I don't cook without spices."

"A dime a dozen, a million like him. I could skip a stone in the street and hit five."

That's his opinion he stood on that, and he's free to have it. That has been his characterization on this since day one. He did not look any deeper to his own detriment and admission.

He really side eyed this dude like,

"Mm fake ass, phony ass, never told the truth in his life ass."

Then second trial went,

"We have a problem. MILGRAM’s control didn’t seem to work on him. That is to say, he’s got a real case of multiple identity disorder." - "Hey now. Don’t judge me so harshly! I’ve been doing this a long time, but… there’s a first time for everything. We’re in a bit of a mess ourselves over this, you know." X

Really went look, look, look this isn't on me- Mistakes happen don't look at me like that. But suddenly now I'm supposed to believe Mikoto is so much more intriguing to him that he'd lie and risk mucking up his own experiment?

Over Mikoto someone he didn't even bother to mention the feelings or reference the statements of in his end of second trial report on him? Like he failed to mention a damn thing Mikoto said himself while directly referencing what Yuno said basically cosigning her confession.

He really went for this man,

"Do you all not know how to count? Did you not see the bodies-"

And nothing else! I don't know how to explain this any differently. He does not care about this man. He cares more about these victims none of us have fucking seen! Because they've only been alluded to outside of the one other person we see in MeMe other than Mikoto.

That is how little he cares about this dude.

He made his report on Mikoto about the impact Mikoto's actions had on the lives of others instead of anything to do with the prisoner himself. The best we got in regards to Mikoto as a person was once again the recognition of his diagnosis and how that is impacting his memory and nothing else.

Jackalope said he had no interest in Kazui but still spoke on that man's feelings enough to call him emo,

"He’s a self-admitted liar, have you been able to solve the mystery? It all feels very emo and I can’t bring myself to be very interested in him, but the fact that you’re so accommodating to him, is commendable."

There's a recognition of emotions there.

With Mikoto, Jackalope just reiterated what several other people, including Mikoto himself, have said. That Mikoto doesn't remember and then stated that just because he doesn't remember doesn't mean he's any less responsible for what he did, basically.

Which is an absolutely fucking true statement.

Like I can say that I don't remember something that impacted someone else. I forget a lot of things, but that doesn't negate the impact the action had on them. Plus, when I say that I don't remember something, I'm not saying that to negate or lampshade the impact I've had. I'm saying it as a neutral statement because that's what "I don't remember" is when you have a disorder that fucks with your memory. It's literally I don't remember that can you explain more. That's all that is. It's a really neutral statement. No one with a disorder that fucks with their memory is trying to gaslight anyone into believing it didn't happen that way when they say they don't remember something.

Mikoto is literally gaslighting people, though. Because his I don't remember is attached to phrases like,

"Maybe you got the wrong person.", "How do you know I even did that?", "All I did was dream."

In their second voice drama they even go as far as to call into scrutiny the song extraction itself. Something being done by a machine completely devoid of any individual bias as it is solely meant to display how the prisoner perceives their actions.

Downright stating that the footage extracted could have been fraudulent or more extreme due to his Dissociative Identity Disorder,

"That too could be just a fake or attributed to the multiple personalities, right?!"

Mikoto's Second Voice Drama- 9:10

These statements when combined with "I don't remember" lead the viewer to question,

If they are remembering/perceiving things accurately.

If the information they received previously is accurate/can be trusted.

If any of what they know is true/genuine.

If they are being mislead/lied to.

"I don't remember" by itself is a neutral statement, and many mental health diagnoses can impact a person's memory.

What Mikoto is doing here is not neutral, though. He is behaving in a purposely misleading way in the hopes of possibly benefitting from it. Through sewing doubt and confusion. This is gaslighting plain and simple.

And it worked too,

National Domestic Violence Hotline: What is Gaslighting?

"Generally, gaslighting happens very gradually in a relationship; in fact, the abusive partner’s actions may seem harmless at first. Over time, however, these abusive patterns continue, and as a result, a victim can become confused, anxious, isolated, and depressed. Altogether, they can lose all sense of what is actually happening. Then they start relying on the abusive partner more and more to define reality, which creates a very difficult situation to escape."

Also, just because someone has diagnoses that negatively impact their memory that doesn't mean those people cannot be held accountable for what they did that they don't remember or can dismiss discussions about what they did by simply going, "I don't remember."

It is so easy to just say, "I don't remember doing that, but I see that what I did impacted you greatly, and I'm sorry for how it's affected you." Especially when one has fully understood the hurt they've caused another regardless of if they understand how they did so or remember doing it.

No one should have to jump through hoops to convince someone their feelings and experiences matter or happened. Whether that person has a memory issue or not. For someone to just sweep those things to the side with an "I don't remember" is dismissive and unfair to the individuals hurt by their actions.

That is the entire point of what Jackalope is talking about. Just because someone doesn't remember hurting another person or understand how they may have done so does not mean they didn't.

He brought up the victims because no one else did.

Attention should have actually been placed on the victims from the beginning. Since those were the ones impacted by Mikoto's actions the most. The victims were discussed in some capacity with every other prisoner. But- like, I'm not in the tag because of a lot of things. So, it may not be my place to speak on this. There's a thousand reasons why I may not have seen this being discussed.

However, around Mikoto's trial, I don't remember seeing any discussion regarding the people or person he had admitted to killing and no one I know who was into Milgram brought up anything discussing that to me either. In fact at a point around that time I was blatantly told by someone that he killed no one.

Despite him- Yes, admitting to killing random strangers, he had no connection to. All because he was upset in his second voice drama,

Can I ask...why you killed them?

"They annoyed me."

Who did you kill?

"Just whoever was walking around nearby."

Even going as far to state that he himself doesn't remember how many people he killed. Never once saying he only killed one person.

... How many did you kill?

"Can't remember. I was just born back then, you know. It's kinda fuzzy."

So, I don't really know where the idea that he only murdered one guy even came from at this point.

Now, I can understand how someone could conclude he didn't kill anyone at all more because of the whole gaslighting thing but this...

He didn't even claim he only killed the one guy.

In all honesty, I don't think Jackalope is being dishonest here because he's been the only voice of reason when it comes to Mikoto's case.

He is actually being quite rational and considerate about the circumstances overall. Even outside of all the foreshadowing that supports Jackalope's statement. Just taking it from a characterization level it seems to me that Jackalope could not care less about Mikoto if someone paid him to.

There was no emotional investment positive or negative when it came to Mikoto.

To me, it seemed as though Jackalope was only invested in Es' (the guards) opinion on the matter. Because outside of him alluding to how many people Mikoto had killed, he gave us nothing else. Like literally nothing. Other than talking about Mikoto's actual impact.

How many bodies does it take to make a person irredeemable? What's the difference between one life or multiple?

At the end of the day Mikoto's still a murderer. Again not even touching on the foreshadowing of him killing multiple people before Jackalope just came out and said it.

But really, how many deaths can an individual find negligible?

One, two, three- Oh we won't count it as murder until it gets to the double digits, huh?

Jackalope's statement on Mikoto eloquently expands on what he pondered with Yuno.

What constitutes as a life? What constitutes as a crime? What constitutes as murder? Further expanding on the main question brought up with Amane at the very beginning of Milgram- At what age do we suddenly have enough free will where we can be held fully and earnestly accountable for the actions we commit to as individuals?

How many bodies make a murderer?

The answer should always be one. Anything after that is just clocking in overtime.

It doesn't become less negligible the lower the body count. Someone is dead regardless. So what about Mikoto as a character makes people so down horrendous that they need to find a negligible amount of killing?

What about him makes a person think,

"I can excuse one death that person probably wasn't living their life properly anyway."

What about any of the characters does that?

That's the question of Milgram isn't it?

It's to redefine sin to redefine murder. To test what every day people of this era are willing to let slide if pushed far enough. Through Mikoto's second trial Jackalope saw the answer was a lot.

He saw the answer and it was nothing to joke about. It was hard to keep the atmosphere light. It was heavy, it was rotten.

I personally don't believe the heavy atmosphere was because of any disdain Jackalope holds towards Mikoto. If anything Jackalope has always regarded Prisoner 009 Kayano, Mikoto with indifference.

All of the prisoners have been and will always be devices to pose a question for Jackalope. Yes he is biased and he's shown who he is biased too quite clearly. Yet, Mikoto has not been alluded to being one of the characters he feels strongly about.

He's usually been all business while discussing him and that's what he was during the second trial end report as well.

Jackalope's issue wasn't with Mikoto in my opinion but the audience's and Es' judgment.

The line that makes me believe this is,

"But even so, "Innocent"..... I see, I see. Hey, the judgment of the guard is absolute, of course!"

Did nobody catch this? Did it go over some heads? Did it really need highlighting? Jackalope disagrees with the verdict and he combats the decision pointing out the holes in it.

But he has no choice but to accept it because,

"The judgment of the guard is absolute."

He really did what he said he was doing when speaking about Mahiru,

"Sorry. I’m like the guy on the couch watching the sports highlights and complaining, don’t mind me."

Something that once again isn't surprising to me. Because from the beginning in the This is Milgram video Jackalope said,

"I mean, I personally would just say GUILTY to all of them to avoid all this hassle."

The end of the second trial report really was him going,

"Do you see this shit- You see what you've become?"

At the audience.

But- ya know, that's just my interpretation of the second trial end report.

Let's stick to the facts.

Like how Jackalope is only a dishonest narrator when he's saying something the audience doesn't want to hear. Like I said earlier in this post-

No one was talking any shit about what he said about Yuno.

Someone he clearly favors and has done nothing to hide the fact that he does,

"By the way, I love frosty girls like her."

When he cosigned that what Yuno told us was the truth. That wasn't because he has a thing for cold girls like her. Or has shown the female prisoners more favoritism.

No, there's no need to question the authenticity of that narration.

Why would Jackalope ever be someone's accomplice? He's only bias in one direction. That rabbit only has hate in his heart. He's just trash talking Mikoto because he isn't a girl- He's so biased.

He wasn't just sympathetic towards Mu's guilty verdict because from the beginning he said,

"Yep! Finally, a pretty little thing. On the other hand, I'd vote this one "innocent". Those beautiful genes have gotta be passed on!"

"I see, maybe you have the tendency to need to see the remorse, to give the “innocent” verdict. Was her crime really so infinitely worse than the other murders?"

No, he's only biased when it comes to things he says that I don't like. Things that don't confirm what I'm already feeling or want to believe. Jackalope isn't a character in his own right with patterns of behavior and easy to spot biases.

No he's a menace just here to sew chaos and confusion. Because the one thing he wants to do the most is ruin his own experiment.

His Milgram.

[inactivewattpadauthor]

Fujin x Nurse Reader: Neonatal

Context: Fujin, a guest at a pregnant Sonya and Johnny's hospital room, meets a nurse who works on the exact floor.

(Yes, ik he could've possibly been in the void in canon while Sonya was preggers)

Warning: Angst(?) I don't want to spoil my own one shot lol ~~~~~~~~~~~~ The dim white lights flickered as Fujin slowly walked around the room his mortal friends were in.

Sonya Blade is finally due to birthing her first newborn. He felt honored to be invited to visit her and the soon to be father, Johnny Cage, but he felt he had no place in the room while she's in labor.

Not because the blond woman seemed snarkier than usual, specifically at Cage, but really, why should he be there? It wasn't his child being borne.

So, feeling slightly downed, the friendly wind god decided its best he waits out their door. Fujin would be happy to go back in after the child comes into the world.

The pretty silver haired male's boots echoed a slow rhythm down the halls. He really should be happy for them. He is happy for them. But also... he feels sad.

Children were a blessing to have. Little bundles of endless joy. A joy he will never know. And as much as he doesn't like to think, he's envious of the two involved mortals.

Fujin stops in his tracks. He's probably walking a little too far from the room. And he'd rather not cause any alarm to anyone, to whomever catches him in this silent, maybe soothing liminal space of a hall.

The shine of the lights reflected off the light blue tiles. When Fujin turns back, he notices his reflection in the window. However, his quite admirable appearance isn't what he focused on.

Through the window, he saw a tiny little human bundled in a blanket!

The demigod steps closer to the window. The baby was clearly asleep comfortably. So small. So adorable!

Fujin notices more cribs with more babies nesting in each one. Do they all come here soon after they enter the world?

Fujin looked back at the one closest. Placing a hand on the window, he fantasized the newborn as his very own. He wishes he could cradle them. Wish to hold them and keep them safe.

All he could do was smile at the sleepy bean. "I know you'll grow into something great, little one." He whispers.

Silence rose in the ambiance more. Fujin hadn't walked back to the room. All he just wanted to do was stay put and observe the many new babies.

Though it seemed all were asleep, doing literally nothing but breathing correctly,  they make Fujin happy.

"Which one is yours?" A sudden voice spoke up behind and Fujin flinches up.

Just out of nowhere, a nurse comes up on him. A neat smile on her face, not covered my the mask resting on her chin. H/c slightly shown beneath the blue cap.

No footsteps or anything. Not that the Lord noticed.

"O-Ohh... Pardon me. None of these are mine." Fujin informs the lady. "I just wanted to watch them."

From your perspective, you watched this man stand here for nearly twenty minutes, looking at the children. It's quite late. Maybe 2 am. He looks troubled.

"Ah. Are you a visitor?"

Fujin nods quietly before looking back at the window. "My friends are about to have their first child. I thought it would be more appropriate to be at a distance."

You walk to his side and also observe the youngings. "I hear you. Do you have your own?"

"Truly, I wish I could." You could hear the sadness in his tone. The silent assumption you made was based on appearance. He's not a normal human, obviously. You didn't mind!

Earthrealm has crazy things. Maybe he has really important things to tend to than to get settled!

"I hear you. I wish I had mine." You tell him with the same smile.

Your words didn't quite make sense to him. Looking at you, he questions with the need of elaboration, "I'm sorry?"

It's quite a private story indeed, but you don't care. Everything eventually worked out for you.

"I got to hold my baby girl for five months."

His glowing eyes widened at what you were telling him, then sympathy was given off. "I'm sorry you had to endure such an experience. I can only imagine what many pains came with that."

"No need to be sorry for me. Yeah, it drastically changed me, but I'm happy to work here. Like you, I wish I could have my own; but I'm happy to help parents nurture their newborn infants."

Fujin smiles softly at such optimism. "That's a very graceful thought."

"Thank you. I always try."

Muffled crying took both of your attentions. A baby in the row nearest to the window has woken up. Their wails are definitely louder in the room.

"What's wrong with that one?" Fujin asks with concern.

"Could be it's not used to being out the womb. Or just hungry." You casually say.

Patting his shoulder softly, you start to move on now. You're still on the clock. "I best get back to work now. I'm pretty sure I'm the only free one on the unit."

"Very well, I admired speaking with you."

Before Fujin walks back to Sonya and Cage's delivery room, he watches you work gently with the infants.

Your endurance inspires him.

*Boooonnnnussss æeugh*

Fujin was still seated outside the room before he abruptly heard a loud scream, muffled by the walls.

His heart skipped a beat. Should he go in there to check up on all of them? Make sure Blade is okay. She's a string woman, but Fujin doesn't mind at all if he needs to use his God powers to heal.

Opening the door, was the actor walking out in tears. Fujin looks at him, concerned.

"She broke my hand!" Johnny's voice shakes as he showed off the impressively swollen hand.... that was him yelling??

Fujin just looks even more worried as Cage ran off to get his broken hand treated. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fujin would casually stare at newborns and be very fond.

I'd give him a kid fr😔

[interstellar-productions]

So this is probably unimportant to anyone who reads this but i feel like i need to explain my though process here, I’m a psych major specializing in abnormal psych with interest in creative writing and art. Very much an art, science and history girlie. Im saying this so there’s some context to the way I visualize certain things.

I want to elaborate on my view of the foxes in a less scientific and more artistic view, metaphors and imagery.

I see Aaron very much as someone who internalizes his hurts. My brain conjures up the example that as he was growing up he was the type that every time a piece of him cracked off he picked it up, at first perhaps to use as a weapon. Taking the jagged edge and using it to lash out but that only got him bad things growing up with Tilda. (Who I imagine as the embodiment of catholic guilt, she knows what she’s doing is wrong but she’s so consumed by her hatred and bad choices the only way she can internalize it is through violence. Specifically directed at Aaron.) So as he got a little older he took those edges and hurt himself with them.

Aaron would have known from living with Tilda that physical marks raise questions that cause trouble, so it wouldn’t have been the same form of self harm that Andrew and some of the others used. But he i image he would have taken those edges and used them to hurt himself mentally, self hatred and self harm that doesn’t leave lasting marks.

Then Andrew and Nicky and Luther start getting in the picture. Tilda was always to strung out to notice and the men she brought around didn’t care. So Aaron learn to carefully shave the edges of his jagged pieces down, purposefully cutting up the parts of himself that remain and taking tape to stick it all back together. Trying to form some semblance of a human being that wont make people ask questions. The pieces don’t fit right though, some pieces are still jagged, some pieces are too smooth, some he cut down too much to be able to put them back right.

By the time AFTG is taking place Aaron has probably caused himself so much damage by trying to self internalize he issues that he more so resembles a stained glass piece before its soldered together. Just pieces that loosely sort of fit together that might be something one day but could also just as easily smash into a million pieces. 

Aaron lives his life being one step from the edge. A minor inconvenience could send him spiraling, a change in his routine throwing his entire day off. But he barely registers major incidents. Because for Aaron ignoring the big things is how he survives and yet the things that keeps him alive is focusing on the small details. The little things here or there that convince both him and everyone else that he’s perfectly normal. Sort of like how you can take a piece of glass and drop it from a pretty significant height and it’ll be fine so long as it lands in a way that distributes the impact. Where as if you drop a piece of glass from a small height but it lands on the wrong corner it shaders.

Aaron knows that if he can’t be normal, if he can’t convince himself or others that he is, he’ll fall apart. And if his pieces fall apart there will be no glueing them back together. There will be no getting back up. That’s part of the reason why the foxes put him on edge so much. He’s a unsoldered stained glass piece and the foxes are a swinging hammer. If they collide the foxes will survive but Aaron wont.

[smallishzine]

we received a question about shipping, so here is our answer: (there is also important zine info unrelated to shipping at the bottom of the post)

Yes, ship art/writing is allowed, *however*, this is still a zine dedicated specifically to Joel, so if you choose to incorporate that into your piece, it must:

Have Joel as the central focus of the piece

Have something in the piece contributory to the zine besides shipping

be entirely sfw. This goes for any piece anyone makes, keep it Family Friendly. You don’t have to make it, like, toddler safe, and you’ll have a lot more leeway in gore and blood and violence and arson and all that good stuff because it is Joel we’re talking about, but please take pity on the ace-spec minor modding this zine.

try your best to stick to c!Joel’s canon relationships. We’ll be polling about this later but current plan is for the zine to feature pieces dedicated to all the eras of Joel’s content creation as like the thing that our zine is. I don’t know if we’re gonna go as far back as mousyluvscheese, and we’re probably gonna focus on just his Minecraft content unless someone expresses specific interest in doing a piece for something he did outside of that, but yeah that’s currently the plan. With that in mind what I mean by stick to canon is basically with the current plan everything we make up will be based off of what’s already there, so if your ship requires you to retcon and rewrite then probably no. The one exception is probably Lizzie, if she was on the smp then you are allowed to ship them as romantically (or non romantically qprs and other aroacespec headcannons are totally okay) as you want. I’m not sure if I’m explaining myself well so if you want me to elaborate further then feel free to send in an ask.

also I know that everyone has different definitions of ship art so like if you make it with romantic intent but it could also be interpreted as platonic then you don’t even really need to ask if that’s okay (in terms of shipping we’re still gonna make you run your ideas by us before you start working) Also if it happened in canon exactly the way you depicted it, such as Real Life smp smallidarity, double life boat boys, or esmp2 mythicalbeans, then you’re also probably in the clear.

also!!! And this is extremely important even if you definitely aren’t planning on including shipping!!! The plan for what’s going in the zine is in no way set in stone, it’s just a starting place to work off of right now, if you guys wanna do something else then fine by me! However, if the idea gets more difficult/complicated, then I’m gonna need your guy’s help to pull it off. If you wanna tell a complete story, like hotguy comic zine did, I’d love too!! But I’d need you guys to help come up with the story and write it and stuff, as I’m rather incompetent at most things. It was probably a bad idea to put me in charge of this thing. If you wanna make an in universe art book documenting a specific thing Joel has made, like scarland art book did? Sure, super down for that! But you guys would need to pick what thing. You wanna do something that’s never been done before in the zine scene? I’d love too! But you guys would have to come up with the ideas and then let me know, cause currently I got nuthin’. Don’t be afraid to send me asks, if there’s something you want to see Let Me Know!!! Everything is subject to change, and I love getting input from people who want to see the zine get made. If you’ve got ideas, send em’!

wow I got really off topic.

-mod Dinn

[wovenstarlight]

I got an interesting anonymous ask on the SFS Tumblr asking about the reasoning behind a bunch of Yoohyun's decisions that had… less-than-stellar outcomes, let's say? (LMAO.) and I'd like to keep the TL blog clean so I'm answering Anon here. I'm gonna post their ask in full for reference, because the answers to each individual question overlap:

Hi, thank you very much for your time, energy and effort. What you are doing is really amazing and admirable. I know you are busy enough and I shouldn't trouble you, but after reading the manhwa, I had questions about Yoohyun's logic and sentiment, and I became more confused after reading the novel and I don't know who to ask. Please ignore my message if it's to much trouble. 1: Why doesn't Yoohyun spend the last years of his life on earth peacefully with Yoojin, even though he knows that the world will end soon? 2: What did Yoohyun accomplish by leaving and humiliating Yoojin that he was persistent to do it for so many years? 3: Why instead of using his forces and technologies to protect Yoojin, he announces to the world that it is open season on him and he is worthless? (Normaly no one dares to harm the family of an S class but Yoohyun expose Yoojin to danger by abandoning him.) 4: Why does Yoohyun stop protecting Yoojin when the most dangerous part of Yoojin's life as an F class hunter begins? (Using his influence he could easily ban Yoojin from entering dungeons. Or he could have secretly formed a group of the most powerful hunters to go with Yoojin to dungeons. This way he could have provided him with everything he needed and keep him safe. That is, if he had any intention of protecting him.) 5: Why would Yoohyun gain all that resources, power, wealth and connections and he sit around and does nothing so that Yoojin would face death every day and rot in the basement? He gain all that for what, if not for protecting Yoojin? 6: Why doesn't he ever change his procedure or provide new options for Yoojin to stop going to dungeons? (Yoojin has no chance for a peaceful life due to not having a degree and being a notorious person. And he doesn't know about that cult.) Yoojin got to see his 30 years old birthday cause the cult didn't feel like killing him and he took care of himself in dungeons and was lucky that only his legs broke. So why would Yoohyun identify as a doting brother? The more I think about it the less I understand.

(crossposted on AO3, if you'd prefer to read there)

Okay, so, I'm really prone to rambling at length and this is a subject I have strong feelings on, so I'll give you a very short version of my answer in bullet points, and then a longer version with proper chapter-specific references and full explanations of what I think was going on.

Yoohyun wants to repay Yoojin for all the care and love he's given him, but as a 17-year-old, he doesn't have much social power

Yoohyun's Awakening puts himself and anyone he loves (i.e. Yoojin) in a dangerous position, because while he has individual physical power as an S-rank, he still lacks social power and also can't singlehandedly protect Yoojin 24/7

Yoohyun, in all his rash 17-year-old glory, takes the drastic action of cutting off Yoojin, planning to build up enough power to protect Yoojin and then reunite with him. Yoojin, as just your ordinary everyday 22-year-old, faces no risks other than people targeting him in order to hurt Yoohyun (I don't agree that no one would dare to harm the family of an S-rank, for reasons I'll elaborate on later in the long answer), so if Yoohyun's not close to Yoojin, then that cuts it down to "no risks at all", right…? So tell the media, tell the world, that no, Han Yoohyun doesn't give a shit about Han Yoojin. Yoohyun assumes he'll be able to explain it all to Yoojin one day and that he'll understand. (This should answer your Question 2 and Q3.)

But it doesn't work out as expected. Yoohyun thought it'd take much less time to establish his position than it does in reality (the assumed 4-ish years ended up as 6+ years). Also, Yoojin's gone from trying to make up with Yoohyun in a way that'll let them be together again (not going to happen, because Yoohyun's still not ready to bring Yoojin back into the fold) to being in his own terrible situation, so he's started lashing out at Yoohyun. So even if Yoohyun was in a stable enough situation to try reconciling with him, Yoojin might not be open to it by this point

Somewhere along the way, Yoohyun learns from the filial duty addict Diarma the world is going to end. He doesn't drop everything and go to live with Yoojin because even now, there's still the concern that maybe Yoohyun won't be able to protect Yoojin from everything, and maybe Yoojin doesn't want Yoohyun around, anyway. There's no use in going to live with Yoojin if it'll just end up getting Yoojin killed through Yoohyun's inaction (Q1).

So Yoohyun keeps maintaining his guild and his power so he can keep protecting Yoojin from what he thinks are the Real Threats. (Because the worlds of low- and high-rank Hunters are VERY different. Yoohyun probably assumes that because Yoojin's not facing the high-rank Hunter dangers, he's facing no dangers—a stupid but understandable mistake, given that Yoojin also assumed the exact same thing in reverse about Yoohyun! It sucks, it really does, but I really do think Yoohyun just… didn't realize just how bad it was.) (Q5) And the world can end whenever it wants; if there's no challenging it, then at least Yoohyun's kept Yoojin safe in the meantime.

And the one danger they have in common, dungeons—you suggest Yoohyun banning Yoojin from entering any, but Yoohyun's cut himself off from Yoojin entirely, remember. Trying to interfere in his life would be met with (a) STRONG rejection by a deeply hurt Yoojin who doesn't understand why Yoohyun thinks he has any say in Yoojin's life anymore, and (b) interest by Yoohyun's rivals, who'd wonder why he's trying to keep his hyung away from dangers when he says he doesn't care about that hyung's wellbeing, putting Yoojin right back in their crosshairs. (Q4)

Also, the immoral people have been killing Caregivers of S-ranks. Diarma might have told Yoohyun about this. If he did, then Yoohyun's goals would definitely have gone from "stay strong and one day reconcile with hyung" to "NEVER get close to hyung, because there are beings outside this world, much more powerful than anything I can match in a reasonable timespan, who will 100% kill him". At which point, even if Yoohyun had wanted to reconcile with him, or compromise by just adjusting his plan and talking to Yoojin a little more, or literally anything past making a show of total and complete indifference, he couldn't have without knowingly risking Yoojin's life. (Q6)

You and I and all the other S-Ranks readers, removed from this situation as we are, can think of half a dozen ways Yoohyun could probably have gotten around things. But the simple fact is that in that situation, under that much pressure, with that much emotional attachment to his brother and literally everything that mattered to him at stake if he fucked up in the tiniest of ways—forget making perfect decisions, there was absolutely no way Yoohyun was going to do anything other than what seemed least risky. Because to do otherwise would be risking Yoojin’s life and therefore his own. And the choices you’ve already mades, the path you’re already on—no matter how bad it is for you, no matter how bad it is for the people you love, no matter how much it hurts—will always, always be less risky than the unknown path, because at least this way, you know what dangers to expect and brace for. At the core of the matter, it’s just that… the path that was best for Yoojin's happiness wasn't the path that was best for Yoojin's life expectancy, you see? And Yoojin can't be happy if he's dead. Yoohyun can't be alive if Yoojin's dead. That's all it came down to.

……oh my god that was so long actually. And that was supposed to be the TL;DR. The long version is going to be SO long. I hope you like reading 50-page passionate essays. There's a poll at the end, you can look forward to that!!!

(Also, okay, before we jump into the Deep End. Two disclaimers.

Anon, you said you read the manhwa and novel, but I read only the novel, so some of my chapter references might be unfamiliar. I know they shuffled events around a little in the webtoon, too, so I'll try and describe the general events so you can find any webtoon parallels.

Yoojin's a REALLY unreliable narrator and definitely doesn't know a lot of what Yoohyun's gone through. Part of that is because there's things he has no way to pick up on or deduce; part of that is because he wants to not think about Yoohyun going through bad shit; part of that is because Yoohyun doesn't want Yoojin worrying about him and has actively hidden the worse parts of his life from him. So a fair part of what I'm talking about is going to be reading between the lines and extrapolating.

Okay, disclaimers done!) Now on to the long version with references. Let's go point-by-point based on the TL;DR.

#1: Yoohyun wanting to repay Yoojin

I mean, the skill's called Last/Final Repayment! Isn't that enough? Where did you think that came from? There certainly wasn't anything Yoojin wanted to repay Yoohyun for.

Okay, no, more seriously. Yoohyun and Yoojin have grown up with only each other to depend on. Yoohyun has watched Yoojin take care of him alone their whole lives, with no outside support, keeping a roof over their head and their stomachs filled. For Yoohyun's sake, Yoojin has given up:

A complete education, with Yoojin having "dropped out of school to take care of his little brother", as mentioned in chapter 1.

A proper social life. In chapter 25, Yoojin says his friends in his early 20s were "middle-aged factory workers" instead of people his own age.

Hobbies. He says to Yerim and Myeongwoo in chapter 45 that one of his "few hobbies" is taking spam calls, but his character profile from the E-books volume 1 confirms it's his only hobby, and one that's now fading… which leaves him with zero personal interests. (The spam calling thing is almost certainly something that sprouted from loneliness in the years that the brothers were separated, by the way. After all, why would Yoojin waste time listening to some stranger on the phone talk to him about something he doesn’t care about? Most likely because there isn’t—wasn’t—really anyone else who’s willing to talk to him, anymore.)

The sole birthday present of "a 10,000 won bill to buy something tasty to have with his friends" he got from their parents, which "would be used for Han Yoohyun’s birthday. As [it was] every year", as mentioned in chapter 239, during Yoohyun’s flashback to childhood.

And Yoohyun, a helpless child, could only watch as Yoojin gave up all of that, to no real benefit of his own, just to focus all his attention and resources on supporting Yoohyun.

By the time he was in middle school, Yoohyun was already talking about becoming a doctor since it'd be "advantageous in a lot of aspects"; he says he "just wanted to make it so you [Yoojin] could live comfortably" (chapter 258). Yoojin wouldn't have to be the sole earner, and would've been able to pursue his own happiness as well as Yoohyun's. Yoohyun wants very badly for Yoojin to not have to worry about him anymore. It makes sense that that sentiment would remain even after he Awakened.

#2: Yoohyun's Awakening

And boy what an Awakening it was! Straight from a random orphaned kid with zero social life and decent grades to one of the world's most desirable and dangerous individuals, basically overnight. He has none of the social sway that the rich and well-connected Sung Hyunjae or the professional athletes Moon Hyuna and Choi Sukwon do, and he refuses to get the help of big corporations like Choi Sukwon and Bak Mingyu (and Yoon Kyeongsoo? I forget if Soodam was also a corp-backed guild). So he's got no power, but he's also declared his intent to create a guild, and that combined with his nature as a born S-rank makes people perceive him as a threat. Maybe not so much in the early days, when people think he's just an arrogant, stupid kid who's going to crash and burn, but definitely more so as time passed, which Sung Hyunjae confirms in chapter 152:

“Wasn’t [Han Yoohyun] at the age where one faces a lot of problems, starting out living alone?” […] “He wasn’t even alone, strictly speaking. I heard Team Head Seok and the others joined Haeyeon early on.” I heard that Seok Simyeong had visited Yoohyun-ie even before Haeyeon was founded. He was still annoying, but I had to give him his share of the credit for Haeyeon. Sung Hyunjae gave a small nod at my words. “Even so, it isn’t easy for a latecomer to find his place.” “That’s… You’re right.” “For the first year or so, it was easier. Since most of them said Haeyeon wouldn’t be able to properly establish itself.” Sung Hyunjae also said he hadn’t been interested in Haeyeon—in Yoohyun-ie—at the time, either. “The problem arose when it started to become a major guild.”

The second the initial "LOL, this has got to be a joke, right?" blinders come off, he's at risk. And he would've known that this would happen right from the start—Yoohyun's smart enough that he would've understood the lack of attacks was just because they didn't see him as a real threat yet.

So, again: a latecomer on the scene with no power and no experience to his name, and seen as a threat to deal with. No social connections means he has no one to rely on to help him with Yoojin's protection: it's up to him alone. And even S-ranks have to eat and sleep and use the bathroom and do half a dozen other things that would pull him away from Yoojin's side, not to mention the all-important requirement of raiding dungeons, which Yoohyun himself admits in chapter 71 was one of his main concerns:

“Once I start a raid on an S-rank dungeon, I’ll be gone for a week […]. Me… avoiding you… was also largely due to the S-rank dungeon raid time. Since, obviously, I can’t look after you once I go into the dungeon.”

So Yoohyun himself can't just stay by Yoojin's side as his bodyguard 24/7. He'd have to leave him unattended for, at minimum, whole weeks. Which means he doesn't have a reliable, sure way to keep his hyung safe.

#3: Cutting off Yoojin, and the risks to an S-rank's family

And that's not even mentioning his own safety. What happens when Yoohyun's hurt and can't help with guarding Yoojin? And he will be hurt, either by dungeon raids or other people. If you don't think that second one is a concern, as early as chapter 6, when Yoojin and Yoohyun are having their first meal together, Yoojin asks about Yoohyun's ability to cook, and he says he taught himself:

“I’ve got items for detoxification and de-cursing, now, but I didn’t have them before. So making my own food felt safer. Even now, when I enter dungeons, I bring dried rations I made myself. Since it’s most dangerous inside dungeons.” “…Detoxification? De-cursing?” What was I hearing right now? As in, there were bastards who’d poison and curse his food, so he had to make it himself… that sort of thing?

Yoohyun himself, a strong, healthy S-rank with a good constitution and one hell of a temper, was at risk of being poisoned and cursed through something as everyday as food. You said that normally, no one would dare attack the family of an S-rank—but if people are willing to attack the S-rank himself, knowing that he'll kill them for sure if it fails and he learns they're behind it, then what's stopping them from attacking the S-rank's family?

There's two points you could argue:

Yoohyun says in the chapter 6 conversation that "It’s a major crime for an Awakened person to target an Unawakened person, so I made them think it wasn’t worth it to risk going after you." But that'd only last for the 3 years up until Yoojin Awakened, and honestly, there's a real risk that anyone targeting Yoojin before that time would just be rich or socially connected enough that they could make the charges go away.

The other argument that if they attack an S-rank's beloved family and that fails, now the S-rank is coming after them with a vengeance, and he's not even suffering from the aftermath of poisoning or a curse to weaken him in the slightest, so that might scare them off. But, like… people do stupid things when they're desperate. In that kidnapping where Yoojin met the Krecke Blackie (chapters 46–49), sure, Yoojin had his own special skills that made him valuable, but he also had five major guilds and the Association all dedicated to his protection. That's several times the protection a single S-rank could offer, and some idiots who weren't even in a desperate situation still tried to go after him for benefits similar to what you'd get from having leverage over an S-rank. So I really don't think anything would stop people from threatening Yoojin. If anything, the combined facts of Yoohyun starting out from a weak position, Yoohyun obviously caring about Yoojin, and Yoojin being so much weaker than Yoohyun would make that the best option by far, if you wanted to hurt Yoohyun. After all, it’s not like Unawakened F-rank Yoojin can fight back himself, and again, Yoohyun isn’t going to fight you if it would risk Yoojin’s life.

So, Yoohyun goes "if I distance myself from hyung and make people think it WON'T hurt me for him to be hurt, then people have no reason to target him!" and follows through. I do think this was a stupid move on his part, even if he intended to explain it all to Yoojin eventually, because by not letting him in on the secret right from the start, he guaranteed that Yoojin would be hurt and upset by his sole remaining family member seemingly abandoning him for better prospects. Which leads Yoojin to start making his own stupid moves, which snowballs into a series of bad decisions on both their parts, and so on… but we'll get to that in a minute. The problem, I think, is that this plan could've worked, if only Yoohyun had told Yoojin at the start, so that Yoojin knew not to draw attention to himself. Maybe they could've done regular calls on burner phones or something, to stay in touch, and they'd have been happier that way.

Unfortunately that didn't happen. Why? Because, as Yoohyun states in that same conversation in chapter 6, he "didn’t want to burden" Yoojin. Yoohyun's desire to protect Yoojin is not just physical, but also mental/emotional—he doesn't want Yoojin to know that Yoohyun's going through all this trouble of leaving home and dealing with threats to his life and making big decisions, because he doesn't want Yoojin to worry.

[EDIT: And actually, thinking back over this, do you realize—Yoojin always talks about how Yoohyun was a delight of a child to raise, never complaining, never throwing tantrums, wonderfully behaved and always doing as he was told. Enough so that Moon Hyuna has to tell him, explicitly, in Chapter 43, that that’s not normal, in those exact words:

“He was a good younger brother who never needed to be scolded. Ever since he was little, he listened well and didn’t worry me…….” “You said you were the one to raise him, right? After you lost your parents early. That’s not normal.” She clicked her tongue and continued. “A good, obedient little brother from a poor family without parents. That sort of thing doesn’t even appear in children’s fairy tales these days. Because it’s not realistic.” “I mean, to go that far—” “Kids are kids. They get frustrated and angry if there’s something lacking, they make trouble to get attention, they compare themselves with others, and beyond begging their parents to buy them something they want, they might even resent them. Parents might still think their kids are cute, but brothers? To them, they’re just enemy bastards; I also have a younger sibling, so I know. Of course, there are brothers and sisters who get along. In peaceful households where their parents take good care of them. Even then, it’s not like they never fight. Younger brothers in particular are a type that need to be put in their place; older siblings the world across would probably agree.”

This suggests that Yoohyun and Yoojin have never, ever, EVER experienced conflict on major life decisions. Not once have they argued about Yoohyun making choices that Yoojin wouldn’t like. Which means Yoohyun approached cutting off Yoojin with a very particular mindset, and I have some guesses as to what exactly that mindset was. Do you think he hoped Yoojin would understand that his perennially well-behaved brother would have some reason for leaving home? Do you think he just… didn’t know how to approach telling Yoojin about his choice, knowing it’d upset him so much, so he simply didn’t and hoped for the best? Or was it something else entirely?

Either way: Yoohyun absolutely did not know what would come of this choice. He definitely did not expect just how hard it would be on Yoojin. At the time, he was probably just wanting to spare Yoojin the heartache of their first major argument about Yoohyun’s life choices.] And it's that very desire to not bother him with the knowledge of how much Yoohyun's suffering that eventually makes things go wrong and both of them suffer for it.

#4: Yoohyun's strategy failing

What do we know about Yoohyun's plan going wrong? We know that Yoohyun intended to wipe out his enemies before even thinking about allowing Yoojin into danger. In that conversation in chapter 6, he tells Yoojin to wait "just 1 year" and to basically live in confinement, locked up safe inside Haeyeon, until Yoohyun's done. Combined with the 3 years since the dungeons appearing and Yoohyun Awakening, that means he thought it'd take maybe 4 years in total, with hurrying at the end to accommodate Yoojin already being involved with him again. Yoojin says in narration that pre-regression, it took him 3 years instead of the 1 he's proposing, which puts us at a total of 6 years minimum before Yoohyun could even think about reuniting with Yoojin.

But, of course, a lot can and did happen in those 6 years. Within the first 3, the brothers' relationship had deteriorated enough that Yoojin blocked Yoohyun's number, as mentioned in chapter 32 by Yoohyun to Yoojin during novice Hunter training:

“You got angry and told me not to call, remember? You even blocked my number.”

Why was Yoojin angry? See chapter 158, when Yoohyun was temporarily amnesiac due to Jellyfish's fog:

“I’m certain I told you not to come near me.” …I remembered. When I’d heard that, I’d blocked Yoohyun’s number, telling him not to call me back.

Yoohyun's repeated refusal to tell Yoojin about his plans, just telling him they had to stay apart, only worsened their relationship. And while Yoohyun did attempt to reach out and help Yoojin in ways such as sending him money to cover living expenses (probably hoping to repair their rapidly deteriorating relationship), that also made it worse, with Yoojin rejecting all of those attempts. As he explains in chapter 274, during the flashbacks induced by Jellyfish in their fight:

Gritting my teeth, I sent back the money Yoohyun-ie sent me without even laying a finger on it. To the me of that time, it was horrible money that my young brother had as good as traded his life for. Yoohyun-ie wanted me to accept living expenses and stay safe, but I believed my brother was being sent to his own death and could never accept it.

It isn't like Yoohyun didn't try to reach out. He did. The problem was that all of his attempts were undercut by his continued refusal to tell Yoojin why he had distanced himself, such that all those attempts at staying in touch only rubbed salt in the wound of being abandoned. And as early as 3 years in, by his own admission in chapter 6, Yoohyun starts to think that things have gotten so bad that even if he tries to confess everything now, Yoojin might not "be understanding". He might not be willing to let go of his hurt and resentment to reconcile with him.

So should he stop reaching out, then? Surely there's still hope that they can reconcile in the future. Someday, maybe, when Yoohyun's sure he can protect Yoojin, even if Yoojin doesn't want to be with/near him.

#5: Learning about the world ending

Only, there's a deadline imposed by the end of the world, which Yoohyun learns about from filial duty addict Diarma. Part of the contract with the filial duty addicts, as Sung Hyunjae explains in chapter 102, is not interfering with said end of the world. Actually, the contractors have to give "their word that they’ll eliminate obstacles" i.e. other people fighting against the end of the world, so Yoohyun can't do anything about this deadline. This gives him a limited amount of time in which he can "eventually" reconcile with Yoojin.

So, as you ask, Anon, why not spend that limited time with his brother? Well, just because there's an end of the world approaching—which Yoohyun can't even talk about! L-rank contract, remember—doesn't mean that Yoojin is 🌟magically🌟 going to get any less mad about Yoohyun abandoning him for several years than before. Yoohyun still doesn't want to explain, so that argument is absolutely not getting resolved.

Even if he tries to explain vaguely that there's some threat and that he'd like Yoojin to live with him or at least accept his offers of protection and security, what happens if Yoojin refuses? Yoohyun clearly isn't willing to violate Yoojin's desires too far, since the most certain way to keep him safe would be to lock him up in a vault somewhere inside Haeyeon and never let anyone else see him, but that would trample all over his free will and happiness, not to mention it'd ruin Yoohyun's "live normally and happily with hyung" goals. So he'll have to let Yoojin stay out in the world, while all of Yoohyun's rivals and enemies are still out there, watching the Haeyeon Guild Leader reach out to his brother and wondering if they've reconciled. At that point, it doesn't matter if they actually have made up or not. If someone even suspects that Yoojin is close to Yoohyun, then they'll target him on the off-chance that it's true. And if Yoojin did refuse Yoohyun's offers, which he's almost certain to, then he's defenseless against whatever attacks come. And they will come. In chapter 6, Yoohyun admitted that a single visit to Haeyeon Guild by Yoojin, willing or unwilling, would be enough to get attention on him:

“But if I directly give orders for you to be brought in and allowed to live within Haeyeon Guild, my enemies will start to actively target you. Even with you just being here right now, I’m sure they’ll already have started keeping an eye on you.”

Think of it from Yoohyun's enemies' perspective. If Yoohyun cares about Yoojin, attacking Yoojin gives you leverage over Yoohyun. If Yoohyun doesn't care about Yoojin, then he won't care if you're attacking Yoojin, so you'll face no retaliation from him. Yoohyun's enemies have nothing to lose from this, while Yoohyun has everything to lose. So, in this situation, it'd be better to take the least risky path: just don't engage with Yoojin at all.

And, also, even if he'd decided to take that risk, there's a different one when it comes to actually figuring out a system to guard Yoojin. This point is more speculation, but I do think Yoohyun might have struggled with deciding when he'd done enough for Yoojin's protection. Because the reality is that Yoojin was never, ever going to be 100% safe from all dangers ever. Again, the vault method is the only way Yoohyun could achieve that. Yoohyun could've put together any amount of high-rank Hunters as Yoojin's exclusive security detail, and he'd still have to leave him alone with these potentially corruptible strangers for a full week at a time during every S-rank dungeon raid. I suspect there was a real risk of Yoohyun continuously going "I just need to get a bit stronger and a bit more established" indefinitely, without ever reaching a point where he was actually satisfied. (Which, if this was indeed a risk in canon, would be overridden in the post-regression timeline by Yoojin's keyword usage making Yoohyun's desire to live with him again and uncertainty about Yoojin's response win out over the urge to keep obsessing over safeguards.)

#6: What counts as a "real" threat

When it comes to Yoohyun's need to defend Yoojin against threats, there's also an important aspect you need to consider, which is: what threats? You see, the worlds of low-rank and high-rank Hunters are very different, to the point where Yoohyun seems to completely overlook some aspects of what Yoojin's used to dealing with, while Yoojin explicitly notes on multiple occasions that he didn't even realize Yoohyun faced certain dangers. As always, we come back to the poisoning attempts mentioned in chapter 6, the first time Yoojin realizes Yoohyun was suffering his own ordeals. This sort of sneaky threat gets reiterated in chapter 11, after Yoojin's trip to the Hunter Mall, when Yoohyun tells him he can't even take a simple drink from any public vendor because it might be poisoned (not something that'd work on Yoohyun himself, but it certainly would on those lower-ranked people around him who he cares about). No, not even in a government-sponsored location like the Association, because even these locations are filled with other guilds' spies and informants. Yoojin's internal response is essentially "what sort of underhanded bullshit is this", and out loud he questions Yoohyun about it:

“But would they do that sort of thing in none other than the Association? If they get caught, the backlash will be huge.” And if Awakened people couldn’t trust the Association, it’d end up hurting the guilds, too. “Of course they wouldn’t make trouble inside the Association. But it’s possible to have their target sent away in an ambulance or police car.” “…And then that ambulance or police car goes missing?” “You’re getting it.���

And Yoojin literally thinks, not a paragraph later, that this is maybe too much even for him:

Somehow, the further things went, the more I felt like I should stop being involved with this brat Yoohyun-ie and go off to live on my own.

Better the dangers you know than the ones you don't, but in Yoojin's words.

Everyone in the high-rank sphere is, well, high-rank. Strong and resilient even when they don't have defensive skills, to say nothing of when they do. They face threats, yes, Real Threats that pose danger to them and risk their safety and status, including threats from other people—Song Taewon mentions to Yoojin in chapter 83 that he's investigated Yoohyun for murder multiple times a year—but because they're so strong, those threats come in the form of dungeon monsters or social attacks, not actual physical harm. Especially not physical harm from other people; like, chapter 75 mentions there's laws against S-rank Hunters going into dungeons together for fear that they might hurt or kill each other, so unless they encounter each other in a dungeon break region where combat is expected (or pick fights with Chief Song, an S-rank duty-bound to fight other S-ranks), they're never really going to encounter personal threats from other Hunters.

Take all that through the lens of protecting Yoojin: he's just some guy, he's not involved in the social/political Hunter Hunger Games, so he's probably fine on that front, right? And otherwise, Yoohyun just needs to protect him from dungeons (keep Yoojin out of them when possible, prevent breaks in his area), and maybe just some general watching out for Yoojin getting himself into anything risky, since he's so weak as an F-rank. That's all the threats Yoohyun sees on a daily basis, so that's probably it, right?

Wrong. Low-rank Hunters have their own set of threats they face, and while a part of that is dungeons and monsters, a very large part of that is also just… being easy to kill, in a community of people very ready to kill. Low-rank Hunters murder each other a hell of a lot more than high-rank Hunters get to even hurt, let alone kill, each other. Think about how easily the knowledge of dungeons being good body disposal spots comes to Yoojin (chapter 19, when threatening Yerim's uncle). Think about the way Yoojin talks about being pressured into slave contracts and miner guilds, and how common it seems to be for low-rank Hunters to be maimed and disabled and left in the lurch (chapters 21 and 22, saving Yoo Myeongwoo from Hope Resources Guild). Think about chapter 49, where Yoohyun claims there's strong camaraderie among high-rank Hunters, and Yoojin responds with this:

Comradeship, huh. There was no such concept in low-rank Hunter teams. Of course, it wasn’t like there were no good people around. The problem was that they all died before long. There were fixed low-rank teams united through trust and friendship, but it was very rare that they lasted. With how strongly they banded together, if one of them died, they couldn’t endure the shock and would fall apart; and even if that didn’t happen, if they were doing well for themselves, they’d be attacked from the outside by the many Hunters who’d find them unpleasant. But a high-rank dungeon raiding team that suffered few such accidents could form a sense of comradeship and keep staying together.

Low-rank Hunters will get killed by monsters, or survive only to get killed by the loss of their teams, or find good teams only to get killed by other jealous low-ranks, or (in Yoojin's experience) survive multiple team-wide killings only to get ostracized and distrusted for being suspiciously good at surviving (almost like you're the one setting up your teams to fail! really makes you wonder, doesn't it?), or, or, or…

High-rank Hunters just… survive. That's it.

Of course Yoohyun wouldn't know to protect Yoojin from these threats. He's never faced them. To him, fighting other people is a fun, challenging pastime, where no one being allowed to kill each other is an unspoken rule that goes implicitly understood. He wouldn't realize how it was very much not fun for Yoojin; maybe he'd know it intellectually, but I don't think he'd understand, not without getting up close and personal to see Yoojin struggle with it, which he can't do himself. If he tries to send someone to spy on or just generally help out his brother, Yoojin's primed by his experiences to distrust the people around him, so spies won't get anything out of him, and any strong Hunter handpicked by Yoohyun to help his hyung might simply be unable to gain Yoojin's trust. (Picking out a whole team of strong Hunters? Even if Yoojin trusts them, they'd probably end up victimized by jealous Hunters. Rinse and repeat.) You must also take into account that Yoojin's been made enough of a target by society that he's hiding every weakness someone could potentially exploit. Hell, if he's hiding well enough, you might think he's doing just fine.

And in the time period where it would be blatantly obvious that Yoojin was not fine, that early period right when he Awakened and turned into society's scapegoat overnight? That was when Yoohyun and Haeyeon were also being targeted, and wouldn't have been able to spare the kind of attention and help Yoojin would've needed, not with all the scrutiny they were all being subjected to. Actually, when Yoojin's reminiscing about these times in chapter 59, he hypothesizes it might've been Yoohyun's rivals themselves who were behind the scapegoating:

At that time, it would’ve been hard for that guy to look out for me. Public opinion wasn’t good in many ways, and there were too many scrutinizing eyes for him to secretly look after me. Now that I thought about it, I wondered if there wasn’t some sort of operation targeting me. The response was too excessive to have simply been the work of a few trash journalists. It was a matter that could be packaged excitingly, I was an F-rank which made me easy to use, and at that time, it could drag down Haeyeon Guild in the public opinion. Whether it was the government, the Association, or rival guilds, they’d have been fools not to use me.

If it was Yoohyun's rivals behind it, then by fighting on the Haeyeon front, Yoohyun might actually have been keeping Yoojin safe, too. How do we know he didn't actually mitigate the suffering to some degree? We haven't heard from Yoohyun about his side of things during this time, so we don't have a definite answer one way or another.

Certainly, Seok Simyeong didn't help at all by making a public statement denouncing Yoojin, especially not when it was so bad Yoojin admits to almost being suicidal over it (chapter 19)! But, well, it was a busy time. We don't know whether Yoohyun was consulted on that one, or if it was something they rushed in order to get ahead of the situation. It might also be that Yoohyun was consulted and made the choice that they'd publicly denounce Yoojin but privately offer him support, only for Yoojin to reject it as he did before with the money Yoohyun sent. Yoojin's done this before, where he conveniently doesn't mention a detail about a scenario until it becomes immediately relevant!

I cannot emphasize enough that we don't have Yoohyun's perspective on this. We don't know what he was doing or not doing to help. But we know, from his love for Yoojin, from his desperate desire to keep him safe at all costs, that he must've been doing something. Was that something effective? Was it useful to Yoojin's immediate life? Who knows. But he was trying.

#7: Banning Yoojin from dungeons

…Keyword being trying. Because, uh. To be honest, how well do you think any direct attempts at "helping" went over? The very first moment that Yoojin regresses to is when Yoohyun got him out of a meeting with an Awakening broker. And Yoojin himself says that ended so badly that "after listening to Yoohyun-ie’s nagging, I’d become furious and stormed off, shouting that I could take care of myself and to quit bothering me" (chapter 5). So if Yoohyun tries to openly keep Yoojin out of danger, then Yoojin is going to have a screaming fit of anger at his life being controlled by someone who apparently isn't even interested in being in it.

And that's before Yoojin Awakened. Once he had an actual, legal, government-assigned license saying he could go into dungeons? Yoohyun had zero standing. Zero chance he was ever going to be able to stop him from going into dungeons, short of breaking down and crying and begging for him to not do it, which (to successfully convince Yoojin he wasn't just putting on a show or trying to guilt trip him) would also require Yoohyun to admit he still cared about Yoojin and reveal his 3- uh, 4- I mean, 5- 6(!!)-Year Master Plan To Keeping Hyung Safe Forever And Ever.

Yeah. Never gonna happen.

And even that one (1) attempt at keeping Yoojin away from dungeons and Hunters and everything related could've gone really badly, because as Yoohyun himself admits in their chapter 6 conversation, his enemies will "already have started keeping an eye on you [Yoojin]". Just from one single show of apparent concern for Yoojin's wellbeing! Can you imagine what would've happened if Yoohyun kept stopping Yoojin every time he tried to go into a dungeon? Setting Yoojin's own frustration and anger aside, can you picture the kind of attention that would've gotten Yoojin? No, this was one battle Yoohyun had to lose in order to win the overall war.

Anon, you mention providing "new options for Yoojin to stop going to dungeons". Okay, sure, we're starting with Yoojin being society's black sheep and probably rejected out of hand from most positions he applies to, and Yoohyun's only leverage in society being in dungeon- and Hunter-related fields. What options would he have provided for Yoojin? A dungeon- or Hunter-related job, probably at Haeyeon or one of its affiliates? That's precisely what we're trying to avoid, and also visible enough that Yoohyun might as well not have even fucking bothered with the 6-Year Master Plan etc. etc. Okay, so then something at one of Haeyeon's sponsors-? Except Haeyeon famously doesn't have backers, and any connections they have through business deals will be glaringly obvious to Yoohyun's rivals if leveraged. Oh, Han Yoojin, the man who no one wants to hire, got a job at a company whose products Han Yoohyun sponsored just a while ago! Absolutely no one is wondering how this could've happened. Also, funny how Han Yoohyun's helping Han Yoojin find work, it's almost like he cares about him… (And so the end begins.)

Remember, all of Yoohyun's efforts at separating himself from Yoojin require actually being separate from Yoojin and the choices he makes. Yoojin's life is—unfortunately enough for Yoohyun—his own to live… and his own to ruin.

#8: The transcendent threat

And all of that—every single one of these environmental factors that make it so Yoohyun has a billion and one concerns to consider before he can so much as talk to Yoojin—all of that comes before we take into account one more fact:

God Hates Caregivers Personally.

Or, in a non-joking manner, and in the fashion Yoohyun might have learned about it from Diarma, as is strongly suggested in the virtual reality dungeon arc during chapter 246:

There are beings out there, outside your world, stronger than anything you know, and this is acknowledging the fact that you are among the strongest existences humankind will ever produce. These beings rule your entire world, are the children of the very power that created the dungeons terrorizing your planet, are themselves so powerful that they can predict dungeons and manipulate the system in their favor, that they can manipulate the circumstances of individual humans as long as they're inside dungeons. In allying with any one of their number, you make an enemy out of half of the entire population of these transcendental existences. You have already made an enemy of them. And these people, these all-powerful creatures, who you've painted yourself a rival of? These same people have a known track record of killing the loved ones of people like you.

Your brother goes into dungeons every week as part of his job. He's already at immense risk. If you go near him, if you make it seem even slightly like you're interested in him personally, you make him an out-and-out target for these transcendents, and they'll smite him. He dies, and you die, and it's game over.

Option one: You can grow to their level, meet them with equal strength, certainly, but will you get the time to grow that far before they kill your brother? Is his natural lifespan even long enough that he'd survive the time it took for your growth? He dies. You die. Game over.

Option two: Don't pose a threat. It's too late for you to never get on their radar in the first place, but if you can keep from seeming any more dangerous, maybe they won't give him any attention. Secure a favor that will let you help him when he needs it, at most, but otherwise never use your transcendent connections to your own advantage.

Option two, taken to its conclusion: If you die before your brother does—if you die calling in that favor and saving his life—you never have to see him be killed.

(Option two, on the flip side: You will not expect it to be your own ally who set the stage for your loved one to be killed.)

So, basically, every single concern Yoohyun's had about protecting his brother that made him distance himself and not tell him anything so far? All of that is taken and cranked up to difficulty level Maximum. "If I show interest in hyung, one of my rivals or enemies might choose to hurt or kill him!" The transcendents WILL kill him with NO known incentive. Yoohyun might assume it's because he poses a threat to their side, but he can't be absolutely certain that's it. In fact, he doesn't know anything about this opposing transcendent faction, since he was blocked from contacting them by the very fact of having chosen a side in the first place, as Water Droplet explains when discussing the born S-ranks in chapter 106:

“We don’t know for sure either. The filial duty addicts contacted them first, so their information is obscured. We only know that there are five, and about the ones that are in contact with you.”

And while Yoohyun-as-Alpha knows the reasons behind the immoral people killing Caregivers—namely, that they want to remove distractions for S-ranks, so that they focus on combating dungeons and monsters—if Diarma had told Yoohyun about this, and if he'd thought to apply the bare minimum of intelligence to his delivery (a disclaimer that must be made, with this transcendent in particular), I really don't think he would've told him why. No, he would've wanted the immoral people to seem like a dangerous threat, so he would just have said that they might kill Yoohyun's family, without giving him their reasoning.

Which means Yoohyun knew nothing about the immoral people's motives, nothing about their goals, nothing about what they'd see as aggression. Which meant, hypothetically, that any and every action he took could trigger them to smoothly and efficiently eliminate the only person he loved in all the world. It would be so easy, too; Yoojin's entering their turf multiple times a month as part of his daily job, a fact which we've already established Yoohyun couldn't do anything about. The only thing he knew for sure is that they hadn't killed Yoojin so far.

Remember what I said before, about the known path being safer? Because you know the dangers you'll face on it? Yoohyun knows doing what he's doing right now is keeping Yoojin alive. He can't control a single other thing outside of that. And the danger posed by not doing what he's doing just got shifted to a level he is not prepared on any level to respond to. Before, he might've thought Yoojin was safe at least inside dungeons with his chosen teams; from his perspective, "dungeons with only guild members inside are actually safer than the outside world" (chapter 134), while the outside world was more of a risk because of all of Yoohyun's enemies. But now? There is danger all the time and in every location Yoojin goes, even those outside of this world, on an insane, unrivaled level. He is never, never safe, and any single unexpected action Yoohyun takes puts that at risk. If doing anything at all is dangerous, then it's better to do nothing.

So, yeah, that's the crux of it, isn't it. Yoohyun needs to protect Yoojin every day, every single time. Everything else in the whole world only needs to kill Yoojin once. In such a situation, how would Yoohyun ever dare to risk making either of them vulnerable?

…The end! I hope that this explanation, long as it is, has given you at least some additional insight into Why Yoohyun Did All That, and helped serve as a reminder of just how little we actually know about Yoohyun's perspective of the events pre-regression.

By the way, this entire post is pulling only from information we get up to chapter 272; there’s more information revealed up to chapter 350—actually, even just in the next few chapters after that, up to 275—that sheds more light on Yoohyun’s decision-making process in the pre-regression timeline. Maybe I’ll come back and post a part 2 to this analysis someday using the additional information we get as time goes on, but right now, this much will have to be enough.

In any case—thanks for reading this far. And of course, as promised, here's the poll!