#y’all are going to be SICK of me
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So this is probably unimportant to anyone who reads this but i feel like i need to explain my though process here, I’m a psych major specializing in abnormal psych with interest in creative writing and art. Very much an art, science and history girlie. Im saying this so there’s some context to the way I visualize certain things.
I want to elaborate on my view of the foxes in a less scientific and more artistic view, metaphors and imagery.
I see Aaron very much as someone who internalizes his hurts. My brain conjures up the example that as he was growing up he was the type that every time a piece of him cracked off he picked it up, at first perhaps to use as a weapon. Taking the jagged edge and using it to lash out but that only got him bad things growing up with Tilda. (Who I imagine as the embodiment of catholic guilt, she knows what she’s doing is wrong but she’s so consumed by her hatred and bad choices the only way she can internalize it is through violence. Specifically directed at Aaron.) So as he got a little older he took those edges and hurt himself with them.
Aaron would have known from living with Tilda that physical marks raise questions that cause trouble, so it wouldn’t have been the same form of self harm that Andrew and some of the others used. But he i image he would have taken those edges and used them to hurt himself mentally, self hatred and self harm that doesn’t leave lasting marks.
Then Andrew and Nicky and Luther start getting in the picture. Tilda was always to strung out to notice and the men she brought around didn’t care. So Aaron learn to carefully shave the edges of his jagged pieces down, purposefully cutting up the parts of himself that remain and taking tape to stick it all back together. Trying to form some semblance of a human being that wont make people ask questions. The pieces don’t fit right though, some pieces are still jagged, some pieces are too smooth, some he cut down too much to be able to put them back right.
By the time AFTG is taking place Aaron has probably caused himself so much damage by trying to self internalize he issues that he more so resembles a stained glass piece before its soldered together. Just pieces that loosely sort of fit together that might be something one day but could also just as easily smash into a million pieces. 
Aaron lives his life being one step from the edge. A minor inconvenience could send him spiraling, a change in his routine throwing his entire day off. But he barely registers major incidents. Because for Aaron ignoring the big things is how he survives and yet the things that keeps him alive is focusing on the small details. The little things here or there that convince both him and everyone else that he’s perfectly normal. Sort of like how you can take a piece of glass and drop it from a pretty significant height and it’ll be fine so long as it lands in a way that distributes the impact. Where as if you drop a piece of glass from a small height but it lands on the wrong corner it shaders.
Aaron knows that if he can’t be normal, if he can’t convince himself or others that he is, he’ll fall apart. And if his pieces fall apart there will be no glueing them back together. There will be no getting back up. That’s part of the reason why the foxes put him on edge so much. He’s a unsoldered stained glass piece and the foxes are a swinging hammer. If they collide the foxes will survive but Aaron wont.
#all for the game#aftg#andrew minyard#neil josten#aaron minyard#stars rambles#y’all are going to be SICK of me#how many times can i beat a dead horse#im sorry its the adhd#this is how i live my life this is the stuff that flies around my brain#i live every moment simply plagued by thoughts#i usually put this shit in my journals but i like the dopamine of this
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they should work together idk guys
#‘what could’ve been’ pairings make me SO UPSET BUT ITS SO GOOD AND INSANE#need them to hold hands while solving cases together#if you’re gonna follow me you have to go through all my seven different art styles#literally every art I made for this pair are different like how did this happen at all#meronia#mellonear#mello#near#mihael keehl#nate river#death note#death note fanart#myart#hope y’all aren’t sick of me
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“Love's about finding the one person who makes your heart complete. Who makes you a better person than you ever dreamed you could be…”
Julia Quinn, The Viscount Who Loved Me (Bridgertons, #2)
#bridgerton#i apologize in advance for how annoying season 3 kanthony is about to make me#like y’all are about to get real sick of me#kate and anthony are going to be so so so sooo happy this season#and it’s what they DESERVE#my happily married and blissfully in love babies oh i deserve this so much#kanthony#kate sharma#anthony bridgerton#viscount bridgerton#viscountess bridgerton#kate and anthony#anthony and kate#kate x anthony#anthony x kate#kathony#the viscount who loved me#julia quinn#lord bridgerton#lady bridgerton#simone ashley#jonathan bailey#bridgerton season 2#bridgerton season 3
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I don’t even know if I want to keep watching the show anymore
#i’m being so serious#i feel like…betrayed? i guess?#this is stupid and i feel so sick#if y’all need me i’m going to go have a mental breakdown#i’m not even joking#bucktommy
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#look at him so happy in his little torture box :) home sweet home….. I see nothing wrong with this whatsoever…#this is fiiiiiiine…… I was gonna wait to post this but… it reflects my current mood so..#dsmp memes#dsmp meme#c!dream#y’all knew I had to do it… it’s just my fav meme… like ‘this is fine’ should be written on my tombstone#prison arc#dream smp#dreblr#dsmpblr#this is fine#dsmp#pandora's vault#no one does it like c!dream#I spent way to long on these memes btw… I have over 1000 Minecraft photos on my phone now…#not me getting sick when I’m supposed to be going to a concert on Wednesday and beach this weekend…. let’s all just hope I feel better#tomorrow 🤞 pleeeeeaase….
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michael kaiser is one of those millionaire fuckboy bastard athletes who’s all smug and “i’m a man who’s got very specific taste” but it’s just women who literally could not give a single shit about him shut up you know i’m so right for this
yeah sure he fucks around that’s easy practically a piece of fucking cake for him but as soon as you click your tongue at him in rejection like he’s an insignificant little ant you can crush with pin-point precision under your heels? he’s infatuated. borderline obsessed and insufferable in his pursuit of you. he’s so pathetic he immediately commits himself to you, literally physically can’t bring himself to take some new fling to bed because all he wants is you, you, you, you’ve ruined him he’s lovesick he’s insane.
#the only way i want this man is on his knees for me#you ignore him and he immediately gets a hard on he’s sick in the head#he views you rolling your eyes at him as crumbs of your attention bestowed upon him he views it as a PRIVILEGE#if you dont even know who he is?? never heard of him ever?? he’s gonna marry you there’s nothing sexier to him than someone who—#—he has to prove himself to and work for bc he’s probably never done it in his life#scoff at him and he moans so shamelessly foul. FOOUULL i hate him so much i want to have his kids but make him go through hell first#sorry y’all i had to get this off my chest LMFAO#blue lock x reader#michael kaiser x reader#—bllk.thoughts!#bastard kaiser </3
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i actually feel so incredibly uncomfortable and isolated in this space right now and i know that’s silly because of how many people there are just like me who share the same feelings but idk…the fact that people even think this is defensible behavior is making me feel sick
#nothing quite like being reminded how disposable you are#during the pandemic that set the stage for everyone to show exactly how much they don’t care about disabled people#i’m tired of people not taking this shit seriously and i’m incredibly angry about it#because i know y’all who are reckless and ignorant and think you’re invincible are going to be the same ones begging to be let in#when they ultimately become disabled too.#and you know what? i’m not ready to give those people grace yet#been screaming it for years but nobody listens until it’s too late#have already had people with obvious long covid who spouted ableist rhetoric this entire pandemic#come to me asking for advice#and honestly? i don’t think you deserve advice#i have so much empathy but i’m TIRED#i don’t fucking care anymore i get that we’ve been lied to this entire time but if you actually wanted to do the research you would#and since i know nobody cares about protecting others#i think you would at least care about protecting yourself considering how selfish you’ve proven yourselves to be#this is at the entire world and everyone who refuses to wake up to the fact that we are screwed#disabled people have been telling you this entire time and it’s still a fuckimg joke#and it will only become serious when it affects them directly#i’m so angry right now#and honestly? if you feel like this is about you at all? in any way? that’s your sign#do fucking better. TEST WHEN YOURE SIXK#stop fucking going out when you’re sick unless it’s necessary#i’m so so tired
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And if I go, can I be like her? Like the ballerina in the box?
#y’all forgive me for just reposting a screenie from last week#but the callback was too much to resist#and hmmm oh my I do wonder if there will be consequences to such promises#also Violette’s room has me in a chokehold so please behold again#and I THINK I can go in game tonight yall after a week of sickness hallelujah praise the pixel Lord!#sims 4 historical#ts4 historical#sims 4 decades challenge#ts4 decades challenge#sims 4 legacy#ts4 legacy#sims 4 story#ts4 story
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Ppl will say fanon v canon doesn’t matter and it’s all jokes and I’m sooooo close to going sure sometimes and then I remember y’all removed a major role of one of the if not THEE most prominent black character in Bruce’s story who was created a whole decade before tim and gave it to tim based off a run where he literally handed the role back! Like IN THE COMIC Tim was CEO in name only and handed it back to Lucius relieved when he didn’t need to front anymore like.
#also if I said y’all took a lot of what tam does and her character traits and handed them off to tim….#like from that run#it’s crazy bc I always say that’s like the only comic tim stans read#but if that’s true the racism isn’t even covert anymore el oh el#tim Drake#it’s actually about him this time#I’m not gonna clog Lucius or tam tags any further tho#oh and on the tam note#her quick thing and sheer insanity was seen as naivety from tim even tho it saved his ass quite a few times#mainly that Vicki vale shit#which is hung up on LUCIUS’ wall#bc it’s HIS office#bc HE is the CEO.#I think it’s so funny how Bruce quest was like unreliable narrator knows their unreliable and thinks that knowledge means that everything t#they say is true bc they acknowledge that maybe they’re not thinking healthily#which is so fucking fun#but y’all go ‘yesss this is Tim!’#like no! it’s not! and tim knows that! and he’s too high strung to be pissed or scared about it!#AND THAT IS WHAT SHOULDVE HAPPENED NEXT#IK cómics don’t like to acknowledge that kinda trauma and shit#but something going deep into Tim’s mental state at the time and how he was impacted in daily and personal life#(bc instead of black characters being written out and ignored I’m choosing to believe tam distanced herself bc he was such a Dick)#Like that would’ve been craaaazy#like even tims lack luster reaction at seeing Kon in Paris after he was DEAD#And then later having the emotional reaction like he really kept that shit on the backburner#but noooo he’s so badass and a killer 🥺#anyways justice for the fox family#at least for Lucius like he and cyborg are in the same boat for me#where they’ve been around for so long and have been so important (cyborg on a waaaay wider scale)#that the fact that they don’t get their flowers in favor of making shit up for tim is SICK
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i try to spread information and stuff because that usually makes people more receptive to understanding how serious covid is, but a lot of being covid safe is being full of anger and frustration and hopelessness. for a lot of people, it’s not hard to wear a mask or not go places when they’re sick. so many people could still be taking precautions but just… won’t. and many of them (especially people close to me) are people who will talk about progressive policies and community care and allyship to marginalised communities but obviously won’t take the step to actually practice what they preach. i’m just tired of being told that i’m an acceptable sacrifice for people’s facade of normalcy
#‘i don’t see a lot of people masking anymore though’ a lot of us are stuck inside unless it’s completely necessary to go out. at this point#unless i’m getting food or going to class or going to a medical appointment i do not leave my room because so many people around me are sick#and it is not safe for me to risk covid#please. i’m begging people. wear a mask#there’s so many things people could do but at the top and the biggest and easiest way to keep yourself and others safe is to just mask up#coronavirus#y’all can reblog this if you want
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I recorded this off of twitter bc they deleted it on their tiktok and went private but it seriously pisses me the fuck off how y’all treat Colin AND Luke as if they’re somehow both one in the same person.
“Colin has redeemed himself” by doing what?? Becoming eye-candy for you so you suddenly see value and worth in him as a character because he’s ‘hot’? And redeemed himself from what exactly? Being a normal boy who has is own feelings and thoughts about people, including his friends and family?? Suddenly now that he’s had a ‘glow up’ y’all are accepting of him as a lead character and thinks he’s worth your breath and energy, while in the same breath calling him ugly and fat and not a pointless annoying side character???
These are not just characters appearances you’re commenting on, there are actual actors who play these roles and who have to see these fuckass comments of you berating their appearances all bc you don’t ‘like’ their character (who has done nothing wrong to you personally, mind you). Fuck this person for saying such shitty things about Luke. You don’t have to like a character but coming for the actors appearance when they’ve done nothing wrong is fucking low and shows what kind of person you are now that you think he’s ‘fuckable’. And reducing a character and the actors worth to nothing but sex appeal you think they provide for you is insane.
#sick of y’all talking about this man (character or not) like he’s not an actual person with feelings and access to social media#this shit made me so angry I just don’t even know what to say or type#going private too knowing your ass is gonna get cooked for this stupid ass shir#fuck you man we don’t even need you sharing your opinions if it’s gonna be ass takes like this#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton s3#colin bridgerton#luke newton
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#sonic fandub#sonic the hedgehog#eggman#anyway how are y’all doing#my bf and i have been going ham with a deep vacuum for 2 hours because our bedroom flooded with water#and it smells SO BAD#and we didn’t even know that it was flooded because it started in the closet#the normal vacuum wasn’t doing anything so i went over to the neighbours and asked for his fancy water vacuum#AND ITS NOT REALLY DOING ANYTHING#SO IF YOU HAVE ADVICE PLEASE TELL ME#we’re so stressed what the fuck#if i get mold in the carpet i’ll be pissed#the second time i got mold sickness in a year#i am one with the mold babyyy#anyway shoutout to my partner he’s been great#in sickness health and mold poisoning#posting this as i take a break from cleaning my carpet#EDIT: I WASNT EVEN THE ONE WHO FLOODED IT#IT WAS MT BROTHER. HE WAS THE CAUSER OF MOLD TJE FIRST TIME TO#AND OF COURSE HE HAS NO CONSEQUENCES BECAUSE HE DOESNT SHARE A WALL WITH THE WASH ROOM#i needed to defend my innocence lol
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Kennedy Egan and Annie Brady
I AM VERY MUCH IN A ‘HEHE’ MODE SEEING THISSSSSS!!!!!!! seriously!!!!! all the happy postwar vibes this is giving me as my writing is currently living in a constant state of angst!!!!! the idea of *annie brady* and *kennedy egan* has my head spinning - i’m just obsessed with the entirety of what fulfillment they will ultimately get from them. love, joy, hope, family! GOSH i’m so excited hehe! 🥹✨🫶
NOW…..dare i throw it out there since we’re ~on the topic~
Carrie Douglass AND Judy Rosenthal !!!!!!!
#THE GIRLIES#IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN !!!!!#thinking happy postwar thoughts as i write the most depressing things 🤌#this gives me SO MUCH JOYYYYYY#(ofc there are a few couples i haven’t entirely introduced yet - wait what who said that i-)#just….YES#i love this for all of them sm#the names just the VIBES they go so well :’)#(also if anyone is curious i’m currently sick with a cold and this stuff has been brightening my day so thank u sm <3333)#judy rosenthal makes me EMOTIONAL FOR HER#AND CARRIE DOUGLASS - DAMN THATS A *NAME*#obsessed#thank y’all :)#silver bullets#silver bullets girlies <33333#masters of the air#mota#mota writings
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“Watch buddy daddies” they said “It’s gay spy x family” they said.
NAHHH BECAUSE WHAT IS THIS ANIMECIAKCNDNFBFBDJFJFJF
I JUST FINISHED BUDDY DADDIES AND NGNFNFNDNSJFIFJSJ THIS ANIME IS SOOOO GOOOOD IT NEEDS TO BE MORE POPULAR
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#this anime made me cry SO MUCH#😭😭 I LOVE ALL OF THEM SOOO MUCH AUGUGGJGG BC BCJJFJF#THEY MAKE ME SICK!!!!!#SICK I SAY!!!!!!#I HATE GAY PEOPLE!!!#I HATE KIDS!!!!#I HATE FAMILY!!!!#HRAJHHHHHHHHHHGGG#😭😭😭 USUGJGGJJGHJ#FOUND FAMILY MAKES ME AIGKGJGJJG#😭😭 y’all i can’t do this slice of life family stuff I have family issues this hurts me#eaughgjgghgjhgjgjgjgjg#idk what to do with my life it’s just kcjxjfjfbcncnc#i know I shouldn’t compare it to SxF but I just know when SxF is nearing its end it’s going to break me the same way Buddy daddies did#It’s going to make me cry and scream and sob#bc idk I kinda see it going the same way as Buddy daddies did? when it’s near its end ?? idk#buddy daddies#ALL I WANT IS MORE CROSSOVERS BETWEEN THE TWO ANIMES!!!#💛!me talking💀
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anyway in an absolutely wild turn of events I think I’m free of my hideous job and like. substantially richer for it??? lmao 2023 you really owed me
#ok so this a lot of personal shit but I’m just gonna incredulously vent into the tags#like I don’t even know how to describe what 2023 in this job has been like lol#since April they’ve been insulting and scrutinising and scapegoating me over absolutely everything#they were really angling for just firing me outright for never measuring up to their constantly shifting and increasingly bizarre goalposts#and it got so personal man they kept insisting that it wasn’t but my god#then my dad gets sick and it suddenly becomes awkward for them to keep insulting and overworking me#so they switch to just ignoring me entirely so they don’t have to reckon w what me and my family are going through#like they never ask how he is or how things are going just every Friday they say hey do you reckon you can take more work on again?#and THEN I get a gut infection and suddenly im being guilt tripped for taking sick leave and pestered for evidence#it was giving like ‘we had to give you time off for your dad but now you’re taking the piss’#to the point I DID reach out to a third party at the company and was like ‘I’m sorry but why the fuck are they treating me like this’#and she was like ‘confidentially this is disgusting and I advise you to report it’#WHEN SUDDENLY I get back from sick leave and it’s like ‘the business is falling short so we have to make some redundancies….’#and now they’ve had to pay me a SUBSTANTIAL sum to fuck off!!! I think I win???#like I was so close to quitting but thank god I didn’t because now I’m getting a sweet deal to fuck off with no notice lmao#i leave end of the month#at first I was shocked like y’all really doing this now??? but suddenly I’m like. this is the best possible thing that could’ve happened#I spoke to that third party again and she was like ‘I am so happy for you’ like omfg it was a curveball but we’ll take it!!!#I’m fucking outta here and in due course I WILL be writing on glassdoor how fucked they are
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I genuinely can’t fathom how people who have never had a problem with food (restricting AND overeating because both are serious issues) view it. Like tf do you mean you get hungry after two hours? One of my siblings is onto me because I went like 6 hours without eating but like…that was because I wasn’t hungry???? On the flip side, I’ve noticed that I just keep fucking eating when everyone else has stopped. Free breadsticks at Olive Garden? I’ll eat them until they’re gone. Need something to do at a party? I’ll get seconds even though I’m not really hungry. I was never really an emotional eater aside from a few hatred-induced binges last semester at college, but I’m definitely a bored eater. Combine that with the fact that my parents don’t cook, so the occasional meals I had with my family all together were fast food/restaurant food, AND that all other nights, I was left to rummage with no supervision through the pantry to eat processed food in front of the TV/my phone for dinner, it’s a miracle I didn’t get fatter sooner.
#Every damn day I envy 12 year old me at 5’4 (not done growing yet) and 104 pounds when my weight wasn’t a thought in my mind#Like girl I know your biggest concern rn is when the Steven Universe hiatus will end but you wasted so much potential 😭#I wish I had been like a dancer or an athlete or something in my K-12 years so that I enjoyed some form of exercise#But I was so uncoordinated and athletic from being both a premature baby and just never getting into the habit#That I felt (and still feel) rlly insecure exercising with/around people#Plus now if my sibling hears that I’m working out or want to they go into panic mode thinking I’ll get a diagnosable ed and die 🙃#Yeah I love them and all but they’re that person that had ana for like a year (giving me diagnosed PTSD in the process)#And now thinks that my disordered experience must be exactly like theirs—like if I maintain the loss of weight I genuinely needed to lose#Or god forbid ever develop an interest/willingness to work out more#It means that I have severe fucking ana that I need to be hospitalized for like they were#And I have had full blown breakdowns wishing I was as sick as they got so they had better shut their damn mouth#Sorry to spam the tags y’all#4n4rex1a#tw ana diary#4n4t1ps#4n4 thoughts#🕯️ as a 🪶
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