#come on even the villains ship them
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bad guy: we’re going to kill your husband.
miguel: who?
bad guy: *points at peter b*
miguel, sighing: that’s not my husband.
bad guy: IT’S NOT?!
#peter in the background: WE COULD BE!#this has happened a lot#come on even the villains ship them#spiderman#spiderman across the spiderverse#miguel o'hara#peter b parker#spiderdads#peter b parker x miguel o'hara#incorrect quotes#gay
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mane should be spacewaffles third, but like in a /r way i think. hes already a freak abt bacon and seeimgly? has a soft spot for planet.
#lsshipping#what would their ship name even be LMFAO#like#spacewafflelion#that sounds so stupid help#idc its MY shipname for them bc idt anyone else has come up w one yet#anyways yeah planet is the only person mane has given his heart to bc he wanted to#i dont particularly count mane giving spoke his heart back bc. well. he did just give it back#bc he killed spoke#so he felt obligated#but he gave planet his own heart TWICE#and i can delude myself into believing he killed kab today bc planey said shes one of the people who#keeps killing them#mane was surprised when planet said kab was one of them#bc he was the one who asked the list of people who keep killing planet#but yes mane taking kab killing planet as an excuse is part of MY narrative now#💥💥💥#lifesteal spoilers#ig bc of my tag yapping#manes obsession w bacon is also objectively incredibly fucking funny#planetlord#manepear#baconwaffles0#im such a tag yapper bro#im actually like the tumblr tags villain#i put more in thr tags then my actual posts#LOL
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my friendship with canon ended now fanon is my new best friend
but first a cute bird
basically my mind decided that it's now free to draw whatever AUs and stuff that I want including random stuff like this
and this!
I think my way of coping with 423 is just... ignoring it ever existed so now it's just this and an occasional canon stuff
but good for him he deserves to have all the fun fanon can offer
fun fact: this was the first sketch out of all of them in this post!
#fanart#sketch#my art#bnha#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#league of villains#it's basically all of them but not really since Tomura just got their outfits#toga himiko#bnha manga spoilers#bnha spoilers#it was a funny thing to go from crying from 423 to laughing from a streamer Tomura ideas#I never allowed myself to really enjoy them#but canon proved itself to be useless for the time being and I don't believe that Tomura will come back#some believe that Tenko will and we'll see but it's a break week next time#so for now I'm just coping the way I want#also I'm interested in drawing some ships that have been fun for the last 5 years#mostly Tomura related but at least 2 not related to him#I'm not exactly a person you'll go to to ship stuff but like... I have some ships I enjoy to read#(and even write if you remember the natshig week stuff!)#basically now bnha is in my “undertale” zone of drawing actually#like I can draw whatever I want if I'm inspired and canon now matters only sometimes otherwise it's fun#I already said what I think about the situation itself so I just want to enjoy drawing Tomura for a while#i want to hug him#also this one Spinner outfit was drawn because I hated how Stain-like the other one was it was disturbingly funny#so I spared him and gave the one that looks comfortable and warm instead but manga panels were now a thing for those sketches
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why wouldn’t she just have them edit out her tripping is she stupid
#miss D: over here#tag yap time#i’m feeling lovey dovey again (ominous)#and i was thinking. as much as i adore seeing how multi faceted characters can be#and how my friends can incorporate so much humanity into their ship stories#i just don’t feel like writing the strife that comes w skyliv#i might one day. and it is still an important part of their story#but this is just a mix of me not feeling like it and not feeling equipped enough to depict that#they have problems. olivia is barely even a good person to anyone. and while this isn’t realistic#i am going to skip to them being happy#hoping yall understand :3#olivia octavius#༺ Shell & Spine ༻#selkie speaking#self ship#selfship#villain f/o#f/o community
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you’re really special, you’re so next-level! ❤️🔥🌈💫
burn pygmalion album art redraw featuring pandora and verity 🫶 the entire album is in my panderity playlist so!! twas inevitable, truly :3c
#HAPPY LESBIAN VISIBILITY WEEK. kicking it off with a BANGER#look at my girls my terribke awful doomed yuri girls who i love so very much#billie bust up#billie bust up oc#bbu pandora#bbu verity#yeah im putting bbu in their oc tags what about it#panderity#the ship name too also. hehehehe#oh my god wait have i ever even introduced pandora and verity on tumblr before???#pandora is the weasel (she/any) and verity is the dove (she/her)!#they are lesbians and in love… kinda. they may or may not have broken up by the time they enter the billie bust up picture#as in when their whole chapter with billie happens#pandora’s MY EVIL EDGY MURDER VILLAIN!!!! she steals magic capacities and enchants her gem with it making her stronger hehehee#they come in well after bbu 1 btw LMAO#i’ll elaborate on them more in a different post but yknow basic rundown. MY AWFUL DOOMED LESBIANS WHO I LOVE!!!!#band tags? sure why not#the scary jokes#burn pygmalion#The Panderity Chapter
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Bitches will literally tell you a story that they were the villain of.
#rwde#''hey lets vent a little by listing all the ships we dont like for whatever reason'' someone get them help. they really think that's normal#y'all be talking about toxicity and then not even knowing what it looks like.#like iunno what you think toxic shipping behavior is SUPPOSED to look like but it looks like exactly this. that's not cute and normal.#like if just an ordinary group of friends did this? maybe. still sus.#but since you all self-indentified as fans of the same ship it just becomes a united front of haters circle-jerking themselves stupid.#not to mention the actual way this post reads like. girl? that's what you thought would make yourself look rational and other people petty?#like really? your go-to exaggerated example of something nasty or uncouth that someone would rabidly defend shipping is...that?#like obvious question 1) what exactly is wrong with gangbangs lol. sorry that you hate fun.#and obvious question 2) uhhh why when crafting a nominal objectioner did you specify 'black' like.......explain it.#tell me how that was supposed to come off because i don't know why you'd say that and not think 'this sounds really racist' unless.....#the whole wide world full of inc/st r/pe abu/se apologia on top of pe/do shit and the villain in your post is.....#someone shipping a pairing that contains a black man. okay.
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anytime someone points out that the lack of wlw/women content in fandom spaces (especially in contrast to men/mlm related work) is a product of misogyny suddenly it gets turned into a "you're lazy and don't want to make the content" discussion which is so far off from were it started
#complaint about it only makes weirdos act like ur expecting other ppl to make work for u and ur tastes#but in reality when it comes to mlm ppl are so inviting and so wiling to try it out and just create dynamics out of air#even if the characters never interacted and if there's more chemistry/developed history with someone else#it's just so 😑😑😑😑 u clearly dont want to discuss this so youre twisting their argument to make the other person the villain#g.txt#and ofc m/f ships will always be popular but it had to be discussed how ppls own misogyny will make them jump into mlm ships and create#before even thinking of giving any female character a look
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Ok I watched. The one horror movie on his filmography and that was um. That was um.
#It's one of those really grounded ones which have to potential to actually freak me out more than any other kind of horror movies#(like green room)#where there is nothing at all supernatural or paranormal or even just over the top#It's abt a couple of hyperpatriotic veterans living in the woods and posing as customs agents who stop a group of americans#coming back from Canada and. keep them in cages and torture them until they die to ''protect the country'' or whatever#And like yes until they all die. Off screen. there's no resolution whatsoever and no ''final girl'' or anything#And it does a weird thing where you stop seeing any of them like 20 or more minutes before the movie ends and it completely switches over#to following the private investigator sent to search for them and establishes a lot of stuff about him 😭 AND THEN HE JUST DIES TOO?#I wouldn't necessary care about no one ''winning'' if the villains weren't so expressly bigoted ig#Micheal's character specifically has a ''muslim sounding name'' so he gets constantly tormented over being a ''terrorist'' throughout#the whole thing and it seemed like he was being set up as like the. The Hardest One To Break or something so I was really expecting#him to turn the situation around or at least be the last one standing but#No they all just got killed at an unspecified point off screen I guess and the last shot of the movie is#one of the freaks cleaning out the shipping container they died in for the next batch of subpar americans to get killed in I guess#Like ok the bleakness was intentional ofc but it also just felt like. Well what was the point of all that then#ALL OF THT BEING SAID I actually liked it more than I thought I was going to based on the description 😭
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Yes yes yes!
Svsss is, maybe ironically, one of the healthiest fandoms I've ever been in (and I've been in MANY). It's huge, it's creative, there's no ship wars or antis (we know better 🤭), there's genuine enthusiasm that doesn't turn against critical readings of the plot. There's sincerity, there's cringe is dead, everyone respects the canon themes (mostly lmao).
And the amount of ships and the acceptance of them! I've never seen any other fandom treat asexuality and aromanticism with such respect. Even when the other side of the spectrum is the wildest, most disrespectful smut. And it's a rare fandom indeed where you'll see 'I tried to write smut but then the characters started having feelings so I changed the rating'. Even breaking out the crack ship polys doesn't get people in the comments angrily protesting characterisation. It's not just any fandom I enjoy rare pairs for! Personally I like moshangbingqiu, qiliu, lingmingying, and of course xiaozhu.
And the sheer variety of fics and comics! Some fandoms can get stuck and start spinning their wheels, but svsss fandom keeps coming out with the coolest stuff! There's so many ways to change around the characters to make it fresh! Sy is such a good wildcard it's insane. Sqh is optional content and great to play off. Lbh is perfect for basically any role from impoverished barista to emperor of the world, and if you want something more malicious there's lbg. For meta or cosmic or eldritch horror or video game aesthetic or general deus ex machina chaos you've got the system, the half finished cq makes for top tier world building. The many wives and their plots are perfect for basically anything you want to happen, the modern world is ripe for interdimensional shenanigans (or just modern aus). Crossovers abound!
I once read a fic where bingqiu fought a pikachu. It wasn't a crossover. Sqq went 'ugh airplane stop ripping off popular franchises!' and off they went quite happily XD! 'ugh airplane' is a common justification and the fandom makes very good use of it lmao. But it's seriously so easy to incorporate elements of just about anything you could possibly want! Xenomorphs. Stardew valley. Furry bait. A gun.
The potential for unhinged crack and devastating angst is something special.
And don't get me started on the art!! It's all gorgeous!! The scenery, the artifacts, the swords, the robes, the character designs, just the QUALITY in general is so high. Comics, everything from visual gags to sob stories!
Like, even mdzs or tgcf doesn't have the chill level we have. For fandoms they're pretty good but it's just not at the same level as svsss.
Literally the svsss fandom is a top tier sandbox filled with top tier fans, and I think that's in no small part because of how unhinged the canon can be lmao.
This has probably been said before but the svsss fandom is just so fun.
First, the fics! Oh look another shen yuan disciple au? Oh but binghe is his shixiong? Read and kudosed! Oh another shen yuan disciple au? But shen jiu is his shidi??? Devoured! Oh another shen yuan peak lord au? With shen jiu AND binghe as his disciples? Oof guess I gotta clear my calendar. Demonic shen yuan? I better see some monster fucking! Shen jiu gets reborn again? Well- and on and on and on and on.
And the ships of course! Yeah I ship bingqiu! But also bingliushen, liushen, bingliu, bingjiu, qijiu, jiuyuan, zhushen, qijiushen, tianjiu, moshang, cumplane, mingling, and of course, bing(mei)bing(ge)qiu!
Usually in other fandoms there are only one or two pairings I feel the urge to gnaw on. In svsss though, it literally depends on the fucking day.
#I think the two lbhs and Sqq ship should be called bingqiuhe because he's sandwiched in between the two of them lol. Or luobingqiu?#But to be serious I think the amount of easy shipping comes from a) the amount of people who fall for Sqq and show their best sides and b)#The way bingqiu are not supposed to meet. They literally defy destiny (and everyone around them lmao) to get together.#Svsss doesn't canonically overwrite pidw. canon lbh never got his kind shizun. I guess it sorta... Opens it to imagine different fates?#Like wangxian and hualian are top tier Destined Soulmates Do Not Separate but bingqiu#They literally. Should never have met they don't even live in the SAME DIMENSION#For its size it's got a staggeringly low amount of time travel or self inserts. Like have you SEEN the mdzs time travel scene? HUMONGOUS#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#ao3#bingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#fandom#svsss fanfiction#scum villain#svsss meta#svsss meme#svsss mxtx#mxtx svsss#mxtx fandom#mxtx novels#ren zha fanpai zijiu xitong#Yeah and we literally never use the actual Chinese name lol
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godddd i will just never get the appeal of bucky/sam to me it is the equivalent of putting like. jim and dwight in a romantic relationship which I’m sure a lot of people do but STILL at least there’s more substance there
#had hoped this fic saying minor would be a blink and you miss it reference but no#it was soooo unnecessary to the story too like could’ve just been fatws compliant without that since the focus was yelena#it would’ve been such a lovely fix it otherwise OH and untagged got implications of stevenat in the end#which i at least understand more bc there is a depth there obvs but they’re so platonic to me#just do not understand why this author seems to have abandoned stucky for these ships#like you have done the endgame fix it shit and yet#lol you know how people would talk about what peggy would think about steve and sharon#like imagine steve coming back to that bullshit of bucky and sam#think I’d be like hey don’t think I’ve forgotten how you were a huge asshole to bucky when he was traumatized in cacw#which dear god i wish people would acknowledge#i enjoyed the humor of their barbs at the time but eventually it was like#on the mcu is gonna have everyone mistreat bucky forever apparently#and make it seem like he is a villain despite all evidence he didn’t choose to do those things#meanwhile fandom woobifies actual villains i hate it#also oh my god ik this happened in canon but having sam call him buck? absolutely not lmao that is literally a steve specific thing#idk maybe fatws did give them depth they didn’t have before it’s not like i would know#just what i gleaned it didn’t seem like it and even so#to me they both will always have more meaningful relationships with steve than each other#and people just jumped on board bc they view sam and bucky as a replacement for those relationships#and i just do not see how that can work and it seems to take away from all three characters and those relationships to do that
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"I think the cycle only ends when you find the will to walk away."
Got a lot of Q's for this in my inbox. Figured I'd just address them here.
tw: mentions of suicide, suicidal ideation
Re: the ending of S2:
Jinx did not die.
She symbolically killed her old self, and with it, her last ties to the past that imprisoned her. She understood that for her sister to move on and live her life - be happy without guilt - she'd have to renounce the bonds that held them together.
Her talk with ghostly Silco was the 'sign-off' she'd been waiting for, ever his dutiful daughter. Throughout S2, she kept hoping he'd haunt her, and in doing so, offer some impetus given her aimlessness. Maybe just straight up boss her around, and tell her how she's supposed to exist now that he's no longer there to be a (subversive if loving) guiding hand.
But it was the promise of time (as represented by Ekko) healing old wounds, and the courage to feel, as she once had - a hopeful child with a hopeful future - that allowed Jinx to commit impetus to action.
Her blimp-ship in the climactic battle is a tribute to Isha - but also to the child in Jinx's own fractured psyche: Powder. She's letting both little girls have one last hurrah before she takes care of business - and cuts off the last oaths, duties and commitments that bind her to a past whose parameters she's outgrown.
Better still, she knows she's got the capacity to outgrow them.
That was the point of Jinx's arc with Isha, and why, no matter my misgivings on Isha's character herself, I found Jinx's trajectory towards a more nurturing and fun-loving figure more life-affirming and positive than the straightforward 'Daddy's Villain Goes Postal' shtick.
It's even why there's a minigame titled Jinx Fixes Everything. It's Jinx, struggling and stumbling, as she tries to rewrite her narrative, and finds in herself the capacity to do good.
To fix things that seem irreparably broken.
And to understand why she's reached this stage, we've got to let go of our tendency to project our own stuff onto Jinx (precious meow meow, unrepentant terrorist, manic pixie crazypants, edgy hot psycho) and acknowledge the purpose she plays in Arcane's thematic structure.
Jinx's character comes off as a death-seeker, and that's no shocker. She is hounded by terrible guilt and loss. She's got blood on her hands, and ghosts on her heels, and no matter what she does, she can't seem to be rid of them. Her inner mind's fractured, her mannerisms ooze pure chaos, and she seems a creature of pure feral impulse and no mercy.
That's the Jinx we're accustomed to seeing in S1 - except that's also both the front she's most likely to put on during that timeline, and the persona that is necessary for her to inhabit to survive, as Silco's daughter and his top enforcer.
Then Silco kicks the bucket, she symbolically fulfills his dream by shooting at the Council HQ, she accepts that she must inhabit this path of shadows and loneliness (as symbolized by her starkly decorated chair in the tea party scene), she accepts the fragmented push-and-pull between past and present, and...
And now what?
Silco's given her a semblance of direction for six years, and he's gone. Vi, the sister she'd hoped would return, and whom she'd hinged so many childishly idealized hopes on, is herself traumatized, and afraid of what her sister's become.
Jinx has her shadows and her loneliness. Jinx is traumatized. Jinx is suicidal.
But Jinx is still, whatever else, alive.
And all living things need connections.
That's why we as the audience enjoy her little found family dynamic with Isha and Sevika. It's Jinx, taking the first tentative steps to reach out to people beyond Silco and Vi, and realizing, wow, she enjoys the pay-off.
And all throughout S2, we see Jinx growing more and more comfortable in this newfound space - even jealously guarding it at the expense of Zaun's liberty, and Silco's wishes, because she can't bear to lose what she's found.
And what she finds empowers her enough that, when Warwick shows up, she's actually willing to reach out to Vi, and call upon their family connection, because Jinx is learning the value of bonds, not as baling hooks of guilt, but as buoys to carry her forward.
That's the story Jinx's relationships serve to tell in S2. Each one shapes the choice she makes in the finale. Until she learns to accept the past (Vi), to lay the monsters to rest (Silco and Vander/Warwick), forgive herself (Caitlyn) trust that time heals all wounds (Ekko), and hope for happier new beginning (Isha), she'll never trust herself enough to just seize the chance.
Jinx's culminating arc is not about death, much less self-erasure. It's about resurrection, and embracing the sublime chaos of a freed mind, and a lightened spirit. That's what she craves beyond simple death, and what her baptism by fire, blood and riverwater, has been about.
Each trial grinds her down into someone else. Someone new.
Someone closer to who she is meant to be, rather than who she's expected to be.
That's why she's so glad to make the sacrifice for Vi. She's not dying as an act of self-immolation. She's giving her sister - the one who's proven she'll never give up on her - the ultimate gift, and showing Vi that she deserves to live.
She needs Vi to live, so Jinx, the persona, can finally die.
"He (Silco) didn't make Jinx. You did."
She's basically saying, "I love you, I will always be with you, but you are no longer responsible for my actions. Please move forward with your life, and grant me the choice to do the same."
It's two sisters embracing everything they've meant to each other, acknowledging the pain weighing them down on both sides, and welcoming the new so they can each slough off old paradigms and live life as a whole person - or at least take steps to remembering what wholeness feels like.
That's the reason the show's final shots linger on the Hexgate tunnels, Jinx's monkey bomb, and the aircraft.
It's the show's way of reminding us that Jinx has ascended to a different version of her identity - one removed from the past that haunted her. It's Jinx, finally striking out alone, away from the sister whose memory she clung so desperately to, and who was, in turn, horrified by her hand in making Powder a monster (perceived guilt or real, fandom may debate ad nauseum) due to past mistakes and abandonment.
The ending of Arcane isn't tragic. It's deeply hopeful, and serves as a reminder that no matter how damaged you think you are, and no matter how monstrous the world finds you, there are still ways to come back to yourself - or to walk the path toward a new you.
Jinx is symbolized by crows. Jinx is shown with firelights emerging from her mouth. Jinx is depicted holding a torch like Janna ushering in the winds of change.
Thematically, Jinx is change.
And the best way she can embody that change is to write her story, and make it her own.
#arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane silco#silco#arcane vi#arcane violet#vi#violet#arcane jinx#jinx#arcane ekko#ekko#arcane vander#vander#arcane warwick#warwick#arcane season 2#arcane s2#tw: suidice#tw: sucidal thoughts#arcane timebomb#timebomb#jinx x ekko#arcane season two#league of legends
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Marvel Being a Terrible “Dad”
In the league’s point of view, Billy has to be a terrible dad… and if he’s not their dad… why is a grown ass man hanging around with these kids? So for peace of mind, they assume Jr. and Mary are his kids. I mean, they kinda look like him. Kinda. Like, I can already see a good portion of them not really liking that he’s letting Freddy and Mary fight bloodthirsty monsters and villains. But, even the heroes that don’t mind that have to take a minute to process Marvel congratulating Mary for going off and doing something extremely reckless:
*They all just watched as Mary flew into an alien spaceship to take it down from the inside out. They knew nothing about the ship, just that it was hostile.*
Mary: *Flies back down from the ship, covered in soot. Lands by Marvel.*
Superman: *Flies over to them* “That was extremely reck—”
Billy: *cuts off* “Mary, that was amazing!”
Superman: “Cap, that wasn’t amazing. It was extremely reckless! She could’ve gotten herself killed!” *gestures to Mary wildly.*
Billy: “But she didn’t!” *gives thumbs up* “Come on, let’s get victory ice cream.”
*The two fly off*
or
*All of them are talking about their kids, eating together at a little lunch table in the Watchtower’s cafeteria like middle schoolers*
Superman: “I wouldn’t let Jon fight any of my villains alone. Most of them, anyways.”
Billy: “Why? Is he not strong enough?”
Superman: “Well, I’m sure he is, but I don’t want him to get hurt, or traumatized. Being a hero can be harsh at times. He’s just a kid.”
Billy: “So? Just cause he’s a kid doesn’t mean that he can’t fight. Just let him.”
Superman: “What? I can’t just let him. How would you feel if Junior or Mary had to fight Black Adam on their own?”
Billy: *shrugs* “Depends. Are they gonna fight him individually or together?”
Batman: *Eating a bat shaped sandwich, made by Alfred* “Individually.”
Billy: “Oh, yeah. Sure. I could trust them to handle Adam alone. I don’t think they could incapacitate him though. A couple times, when I’ve been busy, they’ve held him off for me until I get there.”
Flash: “You just let two little kids (Freddy and Mary look like pre-teens) go out and fight Black Adam? The same Black Adam that destroyed like a quarter of Metropolis in a day?”
Billy: “When you put it like that, it sounds crazy.” *Eats spaghettios*
Green Lantern: “Dude, it is crazy.”
Billy: “Wha? No it’s not. Wondy, when’d you start training for being a whole Amazonian warrior princess?”
Wonder Woman: “When I started adolescence.” *Eats ice cream*
Billy: “Seeeee? It’s fine.”
Martian Manhunter: “How old exactly are Mary and Junior?” *Also eats ice cream*
Billy: “Mary’s eleven and Junior’s twelve, they’re close enough.”
*All except Marvel exchange slightly concerned glances*
or
*Marvel and Junior are bickering next to one of the windows of the Watchtower.*
Black Canary: *Minding her own business and walks past them.*
Billy: “How about I slam your head through this window so we can really see if you can breathe in space, huh?”
*Canary pauses, and wow. Junior didn’t even flinch. That’s actually crazy. The bickering just got worse. This really doesn’t look good from a licensed therapist’s point of view.*
#billy batson#mary batson#mary bromfield#freddy freeman#black adam#the justice league#superman#batman#dc comics#martian manhunter#wonder woman#black canary#the flash#wally west#green lantern#hal jordan#captain marvel dc#dc captain marvel#shazam
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#it's an incredible disservice to the characters because the Fandom Popular Pairings typically are not canon! at all! #so of course there's more to the characters than this hypothetical relationship
It’s not that I don’t LIKE the Fandom Popular Pairings, it’s that I find the assumption that everyone ships them and the general all-consuming nature of said pairings to be kinda exhausting,
#romance free zone#Anti Blitzbee#Anti Codywan#Anti Dabihawks#Anti Dinluke#Anti Endhawks#Anti Jangobi#Anti Kalluzeb#Anti Megop#Anti Obikin#Anti Obitine#Anti Shockblurr#Anti Sonadow#Anti Zutara#Once again - I wouldn't be so turned off by them if they weren't fucking EVERYWHERE#I just want to find good gen fic for the characters (heroes) that I actually like please and thank you#BUT 99% OF THE TIME IT'S FUCKING SHIPPING#EVEN WHEN THE RELATIONSHIP TAG USES A & AND THERE'S NOT A / IN SIGHT#People treat the shipped characters as part of a matched set - and ALWAYS being part of a matched set and nothing else#Especially when they're being shipped with the fucking villains#When I see people describing villains torturing heroes as sensual/hot/sexy#And in some cases saying the heroes should THANK the villains for torturing them#That heroes should totally side with mass murders/genocidal terrorists/people who have tried to hurt them and their friends#Because the bad guys are ~oh so sad so traumatized/they love the morally good aka brainwashed hero and they're just too stupid to see it~#And I have seen this in fandom and fanfic with my own two eyes everywhere I go#I don't care if it's a cliche saying seeing shit like this makes me want to fucking puke#When it comes to shipping culture characters aren't characters - they're just fucking shipping fodder#(Ranting about romance is really one of the best ways to get a tag rant out of me huh?)#(Romance really just makes me see red)
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Reader who got hit w a bunny quirk during a mission w izu please smuttt I love yew💋
I love you too bbg💕
This is actually like a great idea and I had the EXACT same one except izuku was the bunny. Yeah this one is way fucking better.
"don't be amused, it's just the news! This just in; we have more details about pro heros deku and y/n's fight with the new and upcoming villain; sphinx. A local has given us amateur footage of y/n getting blasted with sphinx's quirk! They have the ability to turn others and themselves into animals! Y/n has been out of the hero scene for a while, as far as we know with the information her close friend and partner deku has given us, she's going to be out of hero work for a while, they haven't found a cure or much of a loophole with sphinx's quirk. Next in a cat stuck in a tre---"
You shut the TV off with a groan of annoyance. Why hadn't this gone away yet? You've been like this for a week. A long, miserable, insufferable, week. You weren't alone, even if you wanted to be, izuku wouldn't let you. He felt guilty, he felt as if you were like this because of him. During your fight together he pushed you out of the way when a flying car had come your way, you'd known nothing about the villain upon fighting them. Izuku however, knew everything about the villain, he pulled his mask up before the fight even began.
Izuku always got in a certain head space when fighting whether it be a measly robber, or a very experienced and high tech villain. He always made sure he was ready and that morning could take him out of this state. He just wishes he had warned you beforehand of what the villain was capable of.
You look at your reflection in the black TV screen with a frown. You hated the way you looked. Two fluffy bunny ears standing tall before falling to either side of your face. Izuku walks into your room going completely unnoticed, he spoke and sat down your cup of water but his words falling into deaf ears.
"y/n...?"
His voice nothing above a whisper, sitting beside you while patting your head lightly. People always shipped you two due to the way he treated you, don't get me wrong hes nice to everyone regardless of who they are or where they come from. People just liked to do stupid shit in their free time so you never really took it to heart, mostly because izuku always avoided and shut down all questions that surfaced about you two during interviews. Saying he only saw you as a friend.
You turn to him slowly your sad eyes staring up at him. He sighs while giving you a sad look back, putting your foreheads together. He hadn't left your side at all besides when he and to work, but he made sure to come right back to your apartment to assure that you were alright. It's not like you were sick or anything because you weren't. You could walk, talk, shower, cook, and do everything just fine, but he insisted you do nothing he felt far too guilty to even allow you to lift a finger. He once apologized for you telling him you thought about cooking on your own.
He whispers an "I'm sorry" while your heads are together, you simply chuckle and try to smile. Your quirk had been disabled due to being transformed. There's always a loophole in quirks so why hasn't anyone found one for sphinx's quirk? It was weighing on you far too heavily for either of your liking. Izukus heart ached for you to get better, he hated seeing you like this, all sad and unable to do anything for yourself. You can but for some odd reason he thinks you can't do you just let him take care of you.
Izuku pulls away, putting his fingers in your hair and scratching your scalp, the soothing motion making you sigh and lay your head on his shoulder. He hums with a smile that didn't meet his eyes, he grabs the remote from you and puts on a movie, grabbing your cup of water to ensure that you are hydrated.
You both had fallen asleep on each other, his head on top of yours while you laid on his shoulder. You got up and stretched making him get more comfortable and turn his head to lay on a pillow beside him. You looked at him closely, admiring each and every freckle that littered his cheeks and slightly down his neck his chest moving up and down in a smooth rhythm. He looked so peaceful not having to worry and feel guilty for your current state. Your body moved on it's own, one of your hands moving to his chest rubbing up and down his body. He was very toned, you knew this you could practically see it through his new skin tight suit. It hugged his body deliciously.
You couldn't take your eyes off of him, his shirt was slightly raised and scrunched up ending just above his v line, the way it looked like it was sculpted by gods. He looked like a Greek god himself. His body was fucking hot.
Your tail wiggled and twitched against the bed light noise coming from the way it moved. You bit your lip lightly while looking down where his shorts hugged his waist. Your eyes kept trailing down his figure landing on where a tent in his shorts sat. He was completely flaccid yet his thick cock made a very visible print. Fuck this was really turning you on, he was completely unconscious and unaware of how you were fucking him with your eyes. Your hand moved down to his dick print and gently rubbed over it making him take a deep breath and breathe out slowly, you noticed this and continued your movements while staring at his face, a pink hue forming onto his baby-like cheeks.
You watched as he gulped and turned his head in your direction with a breathy and quick sigh, he was getting bothered by how you teased his semi erect cock. His brows slightly furrowed while you stopped your hands movements completely, his cock twitched against your hand making your eyes shoot down to his cock, seeing it fully erect and leaking slightly against his thin shorts. God this was such a sight, it was so fucking hot and lewd, you felt guilty for getting him all hot and bothered but seeing the way his cock twitched and bobbed up and down for your touch was hypnotizing.
Without thinking you hopped onto his lap you weight sitting on top of him making him shift under you, that was almost enough to snap you out of whatever trance he put you in but the way he put his hands on your thighs and rubbed them out you right back into the daze you never got out of.
Your tail wiggled against his thigh as you slowly grind into him, rubbing your clothes pussy against his clothed cock in a slow yet rough manner. a moan accidentally slipped out of your mouth when his cock rubbed against your clit in the best way.
You panted lightly as the grind of your hips started to quicken in pace, you dug your hips down into his to feel his cock press against you. A noise left his throat as he gripped your waist tightly, his grasp bruising your skin while pushing you down more into him. You didn't think about the fact that he might've woken up due to your moans and the way you moved helplessly on top of him. He rubbed his cock up into you to feel that light friction that had him dizzy.
You grabbed onto his shoulders and rode him like you were actually riding his cock. The thought alone of actually getting to ride his cock getting you to that building release. He moaned deeply before his eyes slightly opened and peered up at you, you were too busy in your own haze to acknowledge the way he looked at you, your fucked out face contorting in such a pretty way.
He couldn't believe you were using him while he was asleep, riding his clothed cock for all that it's worth. He bit his lip and flipped the both of you, a scream ripping right out of you as you look up at him with wide scared eyes. He could only look down at you with lust filled ones. His emerald orbs looking at every feature that painted your body, the way your thighs looked more plump because of your shorts. Your boobs spilling out the top of your tank top. You looked so good and the way you looked at him with those scree and glossy eyes went straight to his aching cock. He was so ready to split you in half on his thick cock, he knew you'd have a struggle but it'd be worth it just to be inside of you. He'd wait as long as he'd have to just to feel your pussy squeeze around his cock.
No words were said as he went in to kiss you, lightly pressing his dry but soft lips against yours. A moan left you as your tail wiggled underneath you, you were so horny and you could feel the way it ate you alive from the inside out, you were so close to crying from how much it burned inside of you.
"please.. please fuck me, I need it."
You whispered up to him with a raspy voice, whining as your eyes moved down to his cock, it looked like it was going to burst out of his shorts with the way it stood up proudly.
He smirked at you with lidded eyes while he kissed you neck, you closed your eyes and fell into the soft kisses being planted on your sensitive neck, he moved his kisses up to your bunny ears blowing on them lighting, the soft feeling of it all making your pussy throb and a whimper leave you lips.
He chuckled lowly to himself as he flipped you over into your stomach. He pressed his chest and his hard cock against your ass cheek as he whispered in your ear.
"using me while I sleep? naughty thing. poor bunny, must need it badly, hm?"
You nodded your head aggressively while rubbing your ass against his hard on, earning a low groan from the muscular man above you.his weight on you felt so good and it wasn't even sexual at all.
He slipped your shorts and underwear down in one swift move, he pulled his own down as he teased your dripping hole, slipping his engorged cock head in and out of your lips. Your eyes roll as you lift your ass in the air and wiggle against his cock. he's surprised by this, a chuckle leaving him while he pulls you back by your ears, a squeak leaving you while he slaps your ass.
"you're so fucking needy huh? this sopping wet cunny of yours dripping around my cock, hm?"
You nod again, not being able to speak due to your throat getting rather dry. He hums and slips his cock in halfway before taking it out quickly, this went on for about 5 minutes, the torture was so funny to him yet painful for you. You felt as if you were going to die, the heat forming inside of you burned badly. You needed release, finally being def up with his teasing, the second he tried to do it again you slammed your ass back onto him taking his cock fully, a choked moan leaving his pink lips.
He groaned loudly while lying his head on your shoulder with a smile, he was out of breath from you taking his cock fully. He chuckled against your skin while kissing it, he bit harshly on the skin of your shoulder making you scream while he thrusted vigorously into your soaked pussy, the squelching noises clouding his mind while he moaned into your ear and grabbed onto your bunny ears. The sensitive muscle being pulled painfully hard went straight to your throbbing cunt, the way he slammed his hips into you and hit that spot repeatedly was just enough to make you cum, but he knew you were going to by the way you started squeezing his cock for all he was worth, milking him and slicking his cock up with your fluid.
“A-Agh fuck don’t stop- don’t fuckin stop.”
You command him while throwing your ass back, you were feeling too good you felt as if you weren't even in control, the way your body moved lewdly against him was inhumane and unlike you. You'd never felt the need to be near someone like this, like you yearned for his very touch, for him to cum inside of you. Oh. God that sounded so good, the thought of his warm thick cum spilling and spreading inside of you made you squeeze around his cock even more.
Just when you felt as if you were going to cum you felt the need leave. He had pulled out of your cunt with a groan, his cock twitched from the cold ajr hitting the leaky tip. He looked down at your pussy squeezing around nothing, god you were so fucking needy and that made him go feral. He could practically smell the delicious scent you released. Your tail twitched fastly, catching his attention. He had asked you before questions about your body and if anything felt different, he hadn't asked about your tails however, he was curious if it was sensitive. Out of pure curiosity he pushed his thick cock back inside of you, and yanked at your tails, his tight grip on your ears never leaving.
He used them to bring you back more into him. You let out a high pitched moan as your arms gave out, your body felt like it was on fire, throwing your ass back against him while your thighs burned from the work.
“fu— m'cum— cumming!!“
You couldn't control it, it just ripped out of you. The feeling was far too strong to hold back or even pretend not to acknowledge you groaned while sobbing, tears falling from your face due to the extra stimulation. He cooed in your ear, coaxing you through your orgasm while never letting you in the way he fiddled with your tail, his other hand leaving your floppy ears to go to your clit, rubbing it slowly while speeding up his hips.
"nngh~ izu— Izu-"
You couldn't speak from the immense pleasure, it began to hurt due to overstimulation. You sobbed and hiccupped against the pillows as he drilled his cock into you, he groaned and grunted behind you moans leaving his lips as well.
"shit...- fuck— god dammit, u/n I'm gonna cu- cum again.. shit take it, fucking take it all.."
Again?! He'd already came?? Maybe that's why you thought about his warm cum spreading and claiming every spot inside of you. Because he already did.
You couldn't move or even speak, the way he bucked his hips into yours, stuttering and rhythm becoming uneven. He threw his head back with a moan as he came again, tears welling at the corner of his eyes. He felt so good, your fluttering walks squeezing and convulsing around his soft turning cock.
He collapsed beside you without a word. His eyes closed as he tried to steady his breaths, he hasn't felt this good in so long, it's been a while since he'd last been with anyone. He took pride in his job, he'd wanted to be a hero since he was a kid, however it did take him away from a lot of things, including interacting with people and making new friends.
He needed this and he's glad you gave It to him. He turned to check on you to see you had already passed out, he rubbed your back lightly making you shiver underneath his touch. He got up to assure you were alright, making sure you water was refilled and that you could be clean, he grabbed a warm damp towel to clean you but before he did he got a good look at the two loads that were fucked into you, slowly oozing from your still convulsing lips. Fuck this was a sight to see, he was afraid he'd never get to see it again. He hates what he did but, he had to save this moment forever! A picture to remember this morning by! After all, you won't be a bunny forever.
AN: this was very fun to write actually, I've recently been in a chokehold w top!izuku there's something ab him being mean or js taking care of me that gets to me.
Dividers by @anitalenia
#cvnts-post#mha#mha x reader#deku x reader#izuku x reader#boku no hero academia#izuku is so girlie pop#cvnts-reqs#deku smut#izuku midoriya smut#izuku smut#izuku midoriya x reader#izuku midoriya#mha izuku#midoriya x reader#midoriya izuku x reader#deku x reader smut#deku
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We’re Adopted?!?
When Bruce’s kids end up on the Watchtower due to a set of unforeseen circumstances, Jason first tries to get the League to believe that they’re all biologically related to Bruce. He tries to avoid having Jason give everyone a sex talk by reminding him that he’s adopted. This leads to all his kids pretending that this is the first time they’ve heard of it, much to the horror of the League and the exasperation of Bruce.
Based on this post.
On AO3.
Ships: none
Warnings: none
~~~~
It finally happened. After years of successfully keeping the League from finding out about all the kids he has, they’ve finally met. And in the most dramatic way too. In a way it’s very suited for their family, but that is a detail Bruce had hoped to keep from the League.
However, it happens anyway and now his two teams have met.
They’re sitting in the common area of the Watchtower when the Zeta-Tube suddenly whirs to life and the Batmobile comes crashing into the area. It spins to a stop as if it had been in the middle of a chase, before the teleporter snatched them off the streets.
Bruce gets out of his chair and makes his way over. He isn’t too worried about them, since they’re here and while that might have meant danger before, they are safe with him now. If one of them had been terribly injured or left behind, they would be screaming and yelling already and that isn’t happening yet.
His eyes meet Tim’s, who is standing next to the car, his costume a little singed, hair askew and looking a little worse for wear. Apologetically he greets: “Hi, Justice League, promise we have a good reason to be here.”
For Bruce, this is quite normal chaos and these are his kids, but he notices that the Justice League has formed a defensive barrier around the Batmobile. They perceive his kids as a threat. It’s so absurd that he is quiet for a moment.
In that moment, Superman steps forward and demands to know: “Who are you and how did you get up here?”
“With a car no less,” Hal adds, sounding a little impressed, which doesn’t make Bruce smug in the slightest, no sir.
He is about to tell everyone to stand down when the doors of the car open and his kids come spilling out. It’s a bit of a car clown moment with how many vigilantes fit inside.
Dick nearly falls out of the side, with Damian following after him. Both of them have soot in their hair and scratches on their faces.
A singed Jason stumbling out on the other side as he loudly complains: “This is the last time we’re letting Spoiler drive.”
Steph’s costume is a little flame tattered too as she swings open the driving side and says: “I’d like to see you do better, asshole. At least it wasn’t like Signal’s first driving attempt.”
“Hey,” Duke exclaims, coming out of the car after Jason, looking a little banged up. “Just because I didn’t know where the missiles were, doesn’t mean it was terrible.”
“I didn’t eject anyone,” Steph pouts.
“Yes, you did!” Duke exclaims. “You very much did.”
“Well, not by accident,” Steph argues. “It was part of the plan.”
The other front door is now open and Cass is next to him. He puts an arm around her and pulls her into his cape. Then he decides to step in, because it seems the League doesn’t know what to do when they’re not viewed as an authority.
“What happened?” he asks.
Six heads snap his way, as if his kids had forgotten where they were. It wouldn’t be the first time, so he doesn’t even bother rolling his eyes.
Tim reports: “The Riddler broke out of Arkham, along with like a bunch of b-rate villains. They caused havoc, but we rounded them all up. Riddler took the time it took us to round them up to set up his trap. He went with a fire theme.”
“Is he contained now?” Bruce asks, a little concerned.
“Yeah, no problem, B, we got ‘em,” Steph assures him casually with a thumbs up.
“Sorry, uhm, excuse me, Batman, do you know these people?” Clark asks in that awkward, polite way of his.
Bruce contemplates for a second what he should answer. Then decides that he wants to know what happened and doesn’t want to deal with questions. So he just says: “My associates. Now report, how did you end up here?”
“Associates,” Jason snorts.
However, he is ignored by his siblings as Damian reports: “We have caught the Riddler, however we did so without solving the last of his riddles. So, he sprang his trap after we took him down and we became the target of some missiles.”
“Oh my god, are you okay?” one of the League members exclaims under their breath.
“Tt, of course we’re okay,” Damian spits back. “Unlike you, we have been trained.”
“And we learned our lesson; always solve all of Riddler’s riddles,” Steph grins, giving them all a thumbs up.
“I already said that, but who listens to Red Robin? Nobody,” Tim complains.
Before it can turn into a squabble fest again, Bruce clears his throat and Dick jumps in to get them back on track, explaining: “We tried to get away in the Batmobile, but we couldn’t outrun it forever. So we decided the best way to escape was to use the Zeta-Tube connection.”
“It was great, Spoiler sent replacement flying so he could put in the code,” Jason laughs.
“I wanted to beam us to the Cave, but with the amount of time we had, just taking us to the most recently used coordinates was smarter,” Tim explains. He checks his arm computer then says: “The chatter on the police coms is that the missile made impact where we disappeared. No one was in the area when it went off, but there is property damage. And a few of the new recruits are convinced we’re supernatural, since none of our remains are being found.”
That last bit gets a few laughs from the assembled vigilantes. Most of Gotham PD have resigned themselves to the fact that the protectors of Gotham are humans, who seemingly pull of the impossible from time to time.
However, there are always newer members, who come up with great conspiracies about how they aren’t human and that’s why they pull it off. Bruce knows that it’s a bit of a game between his kids to see who can get them to believe the weirdest shit about them.
So, he just lets them have the moment of amusement after what must have been a highly tense moment.
Then he asks: “Where is Bluebird?” since he hasn’t seen Harper among the crowd, which is weird, because she’s on the night shift, while Duke is on the day shift.
“She the one, who figured out where Riddler was and caught him,” Dick says proudly. “She was escorting him to Arkham when she noticed he was being off. Without her we would’ve never made it to the Batmobile on time.”
Bruce makes a mental note to thank her for saving his other kids when he sees her.
“We also let Oracle know we’re okay, so she can inform her and Batwoman when she gets back from her mission, just in case she saw the news,” Dick goes on.
“Wait,” they get interrupted by Hal. “How many more heroes are you going to pull out of your sleeve? What happened to Mr. I Work alone? Am I being crazy here? Why are you all just standing there?”
Clark says: “Well, it’s obvious Batman knows these people and they do not seem like a threat to us, so I was going to wait until they’d given a report before demanding answers.”
“And we will demand answers, Batman,” Diana adds, making Bruce swallow a little. “We are your friends, we hoped there would be some trust there. You seem to have a whole different team of warriors. That is something you share.”
“Don’t mind, B, he just comes with permanently built in paranoia, it’s nothing against you,” Dick tells them.
In the background, Jason snorts: “Did you hear that guys? We’re his team of warriors. His associates.”
Damian huffs at that: “These imbeciles obviously do not know what they are on about and I refuse to be referred to as such, when I am the blood son.”
“I don’t know, Robin,” Steph laughs. “It almost starts to feel like he cares. I mean, he obviously has been bragging about us.”
“He has not spoken a word about us,” Damian exclaims.
In the background, Bruce can feel a headache coming. He has tried to keep his kids away from the League for their own safety. They can’t use his kids against him, should they become compromised, if they don’t know they exist.
However, they do know now and not only that, it seems like his kids are here to cause trouble on purpose now that they finally get to meet, who they refer to as, ‘his work friends AKA the only friends he has’. Delightful.
Indeed, the League has picked up on the words Jason set Damian up for, because Hal repeats: “Blood son?”
And Clark frowns: “They do seem quite young.”
“Batman, are you employing babes to protect Gotham with you?” Diana exclaims in horror.
“I am highly trained, who dares to call me a baby,” Damian protests immediately and while his siblings would usually laugh at him, they now also feel offended.
All of them have had to defend their age to people, including Bruce. They don’t like being questioned. So all of them are falling over themselves to defend their position as protectors of Gotham.
Bruce decides to help them, explaining: “There are more teen heroes, most of you have or had a sidekick. These vigilantes keep each other safe, they have the safety of back up and I also provide good gear. They’re not running around without a clue of what to do.”
“Ahww, I knew you cared, old man,” Steph coos, while Cass taps a genuine thank you in Morse code on his arm.
“Batman, I appreciate that you look out of them, but most sidekicks have had superpowers that are related to one of the heroes and sought out a mentor to help,” Clark says gently. “You have no powers, where did you get these kids?”
And in hindsight, he should have known better than to hesitate. However, at the times, he does, because the circus, the streets, the neighbor’s and some villains, are not really good answers to that question, no matter how true. And he doesn’t know if he wants to explain.
Still, he has to admit that he melts slightly when Cass speaks up to say: “His kids.”
Plus, it’s kind of funny how most League member jump out of their skin at the sudden voice, since none of them had spotted Cass before. Not even those with superhuman senses. His daughter is so talented.
Arguably the funniest reaction is Hal, who shrieks: “Where the fuck did you get these kids, Spooky!” as he violently startles backwards.
However, Jason jumps on the opportunity, sending Bruce a shit eating grin before he does (he might still be wearing the helmet, but Bruce knows him). He says: “Well, when two people love each other very much, they-”
No, just no. Absolutely not.
The League already thinks him to be a bit of a weirdo, who is steeped in paranoia. They respect him, but they’re always a little wary of him too (which is good in a way, he doesn’t want them close to his secret identity with the threat they could pose). Still, he doesn’t want them to think he practically bred an army of shadow-y vigilantes to protect Gotham. He’d never live it down.
“Hood,” he quickly cuts Jason off, before he can continue with his nonsense. Then he tiredly reminds him: “You’re adopted.”
“WHAT!” Jason shrieks, ripping his helmet off to reveal a shocked and betrayed face even with his domino mask. “How could you keep that from me?”
It seems like everyone needs a second to recover and process after the outburst. However, Jason is gaining steam and dramatically barrels on: “For years. Years! I lived with you, you fed me, you cared for me. You are my dad. At least you were. Was that all a lie? Some ruse? How- Why- I deserved to know.”
Bruce is shocked, unable to form words. His relationship with Jason has been rough, though getting better. It’s still tentative, though, so to hear Jason refer to him as dad throws him off in one of the best ways. Until he realizes Jason is fucking with him.
Even then, it is kind of nice that Jason is messing with him. When he looks, he sees that Jason is having fun under the mask of betrayal. It doesn’t have a bitter undertone, like it would have a few months ago. Instead, it feels a little like all the times Jason messed with him in front of Commissioner Gordon, back when he was Robin.
So, later Bruce will cut himself some slack for basking in that feeling for long enough that the others catch on and join in.
It starts with Steph, who has never claimed him as her father a day in his life, but will always be committed to a bit. She sniffles: “I can’t believe you’d lie to our brother like that. Soon you’ll tell us we’re all adopted.”
“Spoiler,” Bruce warns, hoping to deter anyone else from joining in.
That doesn’t happen, instead, Dick pulls Duke into a hug and exclaims: “Yeah, next you’ll tell us Signal here isn’t our half brother, like you didn’t leave his mother at the altar.” He narrows his eyes and adds: “I was the flower boy too, I can’t believe you did that to her.”
He sees Duke’s calculating gaze, flitting between Dick and himself and knows it’s only a matter of time before he picks a side, so he grunts: “Signal, don’t-”
“She talked about it until her death. Don’t tell me she made it up,” Duke suddenly says, picking the side of his siblings. Bruce would be more glad about him getting along with them, if it weren’t for the fact that in joining him, he left Bruce.
“You monster,” Jason butts back in again, not having had the spotlight in too long. “Look what you’ve done. You can’t just drop something like that on us. You can’t just pull the rug out from under us. Adopted. Or am I the only one? Huh? Is that it? Are all of them your real kids except for me?”
It’s a little too close to home, so Bruce stumbles: “No, of course, you’re always my kid. But this isn’t news to you. To any of you.”
“So we are all adopted?” Tim shrieks, stumbling forwards to clutch Bruce’s arm. “Those people you took me away from, were they my real parents? Did you lie to me?”
And this is just unfair. They’re not allowed to gang up on him like this and be dramatic. They know he doesn’t know what to do when they get like this. He gave them a home, he kept them as safe as he could, he loves them. What has he done to deserve this?
Dick and Duke are still embracing each other and Bruce is pretty sure Dick is weeping. Steph is definitely fake crying, while Jason is consoling her. Tim is still clutching his one arm, babbling about being taken from his parents.
Cass is his favorite right now, because she isn’t playing along with her sibling, just quietly huddling into his side. Damian would share the spot, but Bruce knows that the only reason he isn’t playing along, is because he doesn’t know what their game is and how he can use it to his advantage.
Indeed, he joins in – though not entirely purposefully – because he asks: “Father, I am your true son right? I am the blood son, not these imbeciles.”
Jason is definitely hiding a snort as a sob and in that moment, Bruce is tempted to disown Damian, just so he doesn’t have to deal with all this.
He can see how shocked the Justice League is, their eyes wide with horror, none of them having truly recovered at the sudden appearance at a gaggle of kids, who are now seemingly breaking down over the surprise news of being adopted.
He should’ve just let Jason give the League a sex talk.
So, he is tempted to not recognize Damian as his own, however, he knows how much Damian values his heritage and how insecure he is about his spot in the family. And he does look genuinely worried about what’s happening. So, Bruce has to sigh and reward the vulnerability that he shows with compassion, saying: “Yes, Robin.”
Jason lets out a pained groan and says: “So it is true? We really are adopted?” then breaks down crying. It’s almost impressive how well he can sob on demand. How well all of them can, Bruce wonders when they learned that and who taught them that.
The League, meanwhile has also apparently reached their limits and Hal suddenly explodes: “Fucking hell, Bats. Is that how you’re telling them that? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Around him all the others start to nod in agreement and Bruce knows that some of those shaking shoulders of his kids aren’t sobs but laughter at this point. He wonders if it’s wrong to return any of them, despite knowing that he would never give any of them up, even with all the gray hairs they’re giving him.
He does think about it though, especially when Clark cautiously says: “It seems unnecessarily cruel, Batman. They’ve just been chased through the streets by missiles. You could have waited.”
“Yes, it is very cruel,” Diana agrees. “And I do not know you to be cruel.”
Usually, Bruce has an image to maintain, but that image includes him working alone and having no sense of humor or humanity, so obviously it’s incorrect. Besides, any reputation he might have had has just been ruined by his kids. He doesn’t have to take this judgment from his friends.
So, he throws his hands up and, bordering on a whine, says: “I’m not cruel. They all know they’re adopted. All of them were over nine when it happened. Hell, not even all of them are adopted. Not all of them wanted to be. They know! They’re just messing with me.”
It’s quiet after his outburst.
Both the League and his kids blink for a few times. It’s clear that the League doesn’t know what to believe, but his kids are luckily done with the chaos. Though, Bruce doesn’t know if he’s happy with that when he sees some of their faces morph into grins.
Dick decides to put him out of his misery first, letting go of Duke to skip forwards and sling an arm around Bruce, which he grudgingly allows. He never says no to hugs from his kids, no matter what stunt they’ve just pulled.
“He’s right,” Dick smiles at everyone. Then he jokingly tugs on one of the ears on his cowl – something he has done since his early days as Robin – as he teases: “He didn’t mind. Right, B? You are a softie under there.”
“Who cares if he minds,” Jason says loudly. “That was hilarious, did you see everyone’s faces when replacement told them he’d stolen him out of his home. Golden. I’m gonna ask O for that footage the second we get back.”
Now the League is looking at them with even more confusion. Unsure of what to do now.
Bruce wants to let them suffer, but he also doesn’t want to give his kids room to do something else to embarrass him. So, he takes the reigns saying: “Just to clear it all up; this is Nightwing, my oldest.”
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” Dick gives the League a bright smile.
“My second or third oldest – we’re not sure – Red Hood,” Bruce continues on, gesturing to Jason, who just gives them a salute. “And, again, the second or third oldest, Black Bat.” She waves at them, startling some again, since they’d forgotten she was there. Hm, they might have to do another stealth and awareness training day.
“This is Spoiler, she is not one of mine technically,” he continues on introducing everyone there.
Steph grins at all of them and says: “I eat his food and steal his money, but I’m not having him sign shit. All of the perks, none of the accountability.”
“And how you remind me of that,” Bruce sighs, before gesturing to Tim and saying: “This is Red Robin, my fourth kid. He is adopted, but also emancipated. And I did not steal him away from his parents.”
“Technically, he did, because they were kinda shitty, but only legally when they died,” Tim corrects, which is not necessary and Bruce will be answering questions about that for months. Judging by the smug look on his face, Tim knows.
Deciding not to engage for now, he moves on to Duke. “This is Signal, he is my ward. He normally works the day shift.”
“Hello,” Duke squeaks awkwardly.
“And this is Robin, he is the youngest,” Bruce finishes his introductions.
“I am the blood son of the Bat and the one true heir,” Damian exclaims proudly.
“Yeah, yeah, we know, brat,” Jason rolls his eyes. “You were once B’s sperm. Whoop-die-doo.”
Multiple faces contort at that, with Tim and Steph both exclaiming how gross that is and how he didn’t have to phrase it like that and how they never want to hear about Bruce’s sex life ever again in any way, shape, or form.
Hal comments: “Wait, you actually have a kid?”
Bruce fights the urge to facepalm as he deadpans: “Just a second ago, you were willing to believe I had seven or more, why do you seem surprised?”
That renders Hal speechless, which is good, because Bruce doesn’t want to be here anymore. He wants to check up properly on his kids, check up on Gotham, and be as far away from the League and their questions as he can.
So, he uses the silence to says: “Now, as interesting as this has all been, we are going home. I have a city to check on and kids to ground.”
All around him protests start up about how he either has no power over them and can’t ground them or that they’re too mature and well trained fro childish things such as grounding. But Bruce is great at tuning them out when needs must, so he types in the last of the Batcave coordinates and lets the Zeta-Tube take them home.
~~
A/N:
I love coming up with convoluted reasons of why the batfam would be in the Watchtower lmao
Also Alfred totally taught them to cry on command, knowing they would use it for evil <3
#rr writing#batfam#batfamily#batman#good parent bruce wayne#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#tim drake#duke thomas#damian wayne#justice league of america#justice league#jla#jl#superman#hal jordan#wonder woman#dc#dc comics
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Honestly, if you had put the RRB in the fan favorite box and put the weird pointy eared Mojo design in as the gremlin… that would have totally worked. 🤣 I truly feel like the RRB are the fan faves even outside of fic.
Also, I know he’s not a villain, but the Narrator would be the perfect character for the last square. 🤣 We never see him on the screen, but he explains much of the plot!
Made one of those meme things for the PPG villains lol.
At first I had the RRB in the fan favorite spot but then I realized I didn't have anywhere to put Mojo and I couldn't not include Mojo. Plus, outside of fanfic circles I think he is the fan favorite so it works.
(Also I love Princess she's one of my favorites but I can't deny that the writers wrote her character in a way for the audience to hate as much as possible)
#so many people I know have complained that he gets more attention/merch than the other villains#by he I mean *Mojo haha#and tell me that they love the RRB because they almost killed the PPG#……which okay weird reason for people to think they’re ‘cool’ but 🥴#but yeah I think they’re still pretty popular even outside of shipping and stuff#I truly do think a lot of guys in particular like them#but maybe the times are changing because I have seen more people coming out with love for mojo#sometimes……. a LOT of love……. 👀 lol#anyway speaking of love I love this regardless#the boys with ‘mmmm…society’#love it
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