#college advice

[growandrecover]

From one burnt out student to another

This semester has been an absolute nightmare for me, so welcome to the resulting post where I try to help other people who are in the same boat!

How about we run through a quick list together, okay?

Unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders, relax your face, unclench your fists

Are you sitting in the shape of a C right now? *hitting you with a broom* straighten your back out!!

Maybe get up and stretch while you're at it!

Have you taken your meds today? If not, go get 'em.

Have you eaten enough today? Coffee/energy drinks are not a meal!!

What have you eaten today? Do you need to get something to snack on?

Have you had any water today?

Do you need to rest? There is NO shame in taking a nap or relaxing. If someone does shame you, send them my way

How long has it been since you moved from where you are right now? Maybe move to another room if you can.

How long has it been since you looked away from your screen? Take a little 5-10 minute break to rest your eyes :)

How long has it been since you've showered? (No shame in this one either, it's okay if you can't do it. You're not judged here.)

Do you need to get into some fresh, comfy clothes?

If the weather in your area will allow it, can you open a window or go sit outside?

Affirmations:

My grades do not define me

I am more than a grade/a gpa

I am allowed to make mistakes

I am allowed to rest

Taking breaks is necessary for my well being

This semester/school year will not last forever

It's okay to take time for myself

I do not need to be productive all the time

I am capable

I am smart

I do not need to perform to perfection all the time

My mental/physical/spiritual/emotional health is more important than school

It is okay to ask for help

Asking for help does not make me weak or less capable

Assignments should not be valued over sleep/food/self care

If you have the energy, maybe try some of these:

Reach out to a friend/family member/mutual

Change your sheets

Take your trash out

Pick stuff up off the floor if there is anything

Do your dishes/run the dishwasher

Do a load of laundry/put any clothes away

Journal

Schedule any needed doctor's/dentist's/therapy appointments

Leave your home for a little bit

Go do something you enjoy

Create something

Go for a walk

Cook your favorite meal

You are doing amazing, and I'm so proud of you. You can and will get through this. You're not alone <3

As always, please feel free to reach out or send me an ask if you need someone to talk to!

[andromeda3116]

so there's this old oots comic wherein the party must Pass Three Trials and before the third one, the judge asks if they're prepared and roy goes

"no, but i don't see the passage of time improving the situation."

and this lesson legitimately probably helped me get my college degree.

bc like... there's the pre-test anxiety, right? and the desperate need to study asmuchasyoucan right up until the exam, right? so it's, like, fresh and in there and all? right? and so i'm facing an exam and i'm like shit shit have i studied enough do i remember enough maybe i should go back over the notes one more time...

and roy, speaking words of wisdom, comes to me and says "will the passage of time improve this situation?"

will staring at the notes more and going over them again actually make me better remember this tomorrow? and nigh-universally, the answer was "...no." and i'd go to bed instead of cramming.

and as anyone who has been there will try to tell you, cramming doesn't work. it's the shittiest method of learning: even if it does manage to stay in your brain for long enough to get you through the test, it'll fall right back out and you'll be less prepared for the next exam or class in the sequence than you would have if you'd just taken the L and worked harder next time. but you know what does help?

like, really help? like really really really help?

sleeping on it.

stopping yourself, looking up, and saying "the passage of time is not going to improve this situation" and then going the fuck to bed. you will process what you've learned better, you will be better-rested for the exam, and you will be calmer facing it because you won't have been up all night chugging coffee and pounding words into your eyes.

dismissing the last-minute crunch with a "the passage of time will no longer improve this situation" and going to bed instead of squeezing more studying out of the remaining hours helped me so much. and it can help you too.

this has been your roy greenhilt-inspired psa for the evening, thank you and goodnight.

[girlbot666]

advice for university students who have a hard time getting work done aka the things that my ADHD-having ass needed 3 fucking semesters to learn :

1. go to class. GO TO CLASS. yes, even if the lectures are recorded. yes, even if you have other work you really need to do right now. you will fall behind if you don't and it will suck. next time you have class you will think, "I can't go to class today because I still haven't caught up with the material from the previous class" and then you'll do that several times and then you'll haven fallen really far behind and it will really suck. when you show up to class, keeping up with assignments will just naturally follow.

2. do not try to get work done in your room. it will not happen. no matter how much you don't want to leave, you have to do it, you have to leave. go to a library, or a cafe, or even just a different room in your house/dorm if you don't want to change out of your pjs (and even if you're one of those people who *can* get studying done in your room [couldn't be me], separating the environments you work in and relax in will feel so much better, i promise!).

3. go to office hours. if it's one of those STEM class office/peer tutoring hours where lots of people are being helped at once, it's especially important that you go. the material is designed to be challenging and you're not expected to be able to do it on your own. it's also a great way to hold yourself accountable to getting the work done on time. literally just put on some noise-cancelling headphones and work on stuff there until you have a question.

4. start on your big assignments EARLY. working on one essay or project and almost nothing else for 2 days straight leads to burnout. start at least 2 weeks in advance, and work on it everyday for just an hour, maybe 2. setting time-based goals is key here. it makes the assignment feel less intimidating. it's easy to convince yourself to work on it even if you don't want to because, hey, it's only an hour. once you start getting bored or frustrated, it's not too hard to power through, since it's only an hour. and if you're getting super distracted and really struggling to focus you can switch gears to something else guilt-free, and then return to it tomorrow with fresh eyes and a fresh mind.

5. inevitably, you'll fuck up. you'll do poorly on a test, you'll miss an assignment, you'll not understand things you're learning in class, you'll get nervous during a presentation. some days, you might not even fuck up necessarily, you'll just feel bad. when it happens, take a step back. acknowledge and honor your emotions. you might feel sad or disappointed or ashamed. treat yourself with kindness and compassion. try not to judge yourself, recognize that your feelings are natural and normal. take care of yourself like you would take care of a friend who was in your position. do some easy assignments, then wrap up work early. eat something, talk to someone or journal about it, do some cleaning, take a shower, and go to bed early. maybe it feels like you shouldn't because you have too much work to do, but trust that addressing your heavy emotions is more productive than just powering through. personally, if i don't do this, the feeling of shame lingers in my subconscious and i spiral for several days. like, don't get out of bed or eat or do any work kind of spiraling. perhaps the consequences are not as material for you. regardless, honoring your emotions and treating yourself with compassion is a life-long skill that is always worth practicing. your mental health will thank you for it.

[chaoticneutralgood2627]

Advice to College Students (From someone who's trying to apply for a master's program)

Note that these are in no particular order and from my own particular experience. I will add if I think of more.

TAKE NOTES ON EVERYTHING, ESPECIALLY IF YOU FIND IT COOL: your brain will tell you 'I'll remember that fact, it's so neat!' Your brain is a BITCH. You will not remember SHIT. Take ALL the notes. If you can record your classes, even better!

Write down who your professors are for each class. Make a big document. All the years. Write them. Write down their vibes and if you like them. Write down what sort of assignments they gave. Because I'm over here trying desperately to remember which professors I had multiple classes with so I can beg them for recommendations.

Save your assignments. Even if they're horribly cringey. You can use this to gauge how far you've come. I know it hurts your soul. I have fanfic from when I was 12. Do it anyway.

When they tell you the grad school shit, pay attention. Even if you don't plan to go back to school. Because I didn't listen and now I have changed my mind and I have no recollection of that section of school.

Networking. Gather contacts from your classmates. If for no other reason than because you think they're intimidating and you don't want your LinkedIn to look depressing. They're probably just as intimidated by you. And if not, you can pretend they are.

College is not high school. Next to no one has friends at first. Everyone is a disaster. Talk to people. You might not find Your People in your first friend group. That's fine. There are people there somewhere that can make life less awful. The worst they can say is no, you can't be friends with us (and most people aren't that bitchy). The universe is big and no one is judging you harder than you are.

It's not that friends Can't Live Together, it's that people have different organization styles and needs for survival and sometimes those Do Not Mesh. If you're going to live with someone, make sure that you have talked about things.

Everything can go on a resume if you word it right. Editing a friend's paper? Congrats, you have editing and tutoring experience. Playing DND on weekends? Cooperation and teambuilding to work towards a common goal, sometimes in the face of creative differences (your friends want to Fight Everything and you want to Stay Alive (or reversed)). EVERYTHING CAN GO ON A RESUME.

There are so many resources on campus. Use them, for the love of god because then you're going to be an adultier adult and realize that there is not a med center right across the campus.

Find what motivates you. Mine is spite, I am applying to grad school to get out of retail and to spite 2 specific supervisors. Cling to that when you want to drop out and quit.

There is not a specific route to take in college. Or out of college. Listen to yourself rather than everyone's advice (I am aware that this is ironic to be on an advice post).

If you think you can wake up at 9 after like 4 hours of sleep, that is the devil talking to you. Go to bed.

On the same note. I am aware that you woke up at like 5 for high school. You will not want to exist before noon. 8 am classes are not illegal, but they should be.

Take care of yourself. You're paying a shit ton of money to be there, you can take an hour to eat the food. Plus, if you take care of yourself, then you will work better.

There will be weird shit happening all over. Just roll with it. Unless it's hurting someone or has the potential to hurt someone (my one friend got stalked).

You are not required to stay somewhere social if it's creeping you the fuck out or if you aren't comfy. I think I went to a single party in my entire college life and I hid in the corner with their illegal kitten the whole time.

Speaking of illegal kittens. If you know someone has an illegal kitten, no the fuck you do not. There probably will be at least one. And you do not know about it.

[dragonfly0808]

college advice? i’m starting in the fall 😭

oh FUCK

Kay, so, I’m no professional here but I am about to pass into my 6th semester, so will hopefully soon be wrapping up my 3rd year of college so here’s some of advice

First off, go in the mornings, if you have a chance to do your schedule, go in the morning, it’s so fucking heavy to have to go in the evenings, did that once, never again

try to find a website or blog where students can give teachers reviews, these exist for most colleges and while it can be very hard to build your schedule based on the best teachers and I wouldn’t recommend doing that, it can help you be mentally prepared and know what each teacher values most ahead of time

always have smth to entertain yourself. You WILL have teachers who don’t show up or constantly cancel classes and while its fun using that time to catch up with friends, you should take a book or smth with you to keep yourself entertained during down time

if you have AFI’s (I have no fucking clue what they’re called in english but they’re activities, conferences, talks, outings, stuff like that) check how many you can do per semester and keep up with them, don’t leave them till last minute. For example, I need 14 to finish my career and can do up till 4 valid ones per semester but can only do them till my 7th semester. So check on that if you do have them as a requirement as well

Make sure you check out every part of your campus to know the best hangout spots. This is mostly just for yourself and to not get lost.

Hang out at your library if you have one, check out what they have even if you don’t particularly plan to use that many books, it can help motivate you and find more passion for your career if you’re feeling down or having doubts.

learn how to properly reference articles (perplexity is a great tool to find references)

make sure the teachers at least recognize you and, I would recommend to limit yourself to a certain number of classes you can miss. I try to limit myself to skip 3 classes from each teacher and try to not miss at all, the teachers recognizing me as someone who always goes has given me second chances and opportunities for extra points.

ALWAYS DO OPTIONAL PROJECTS FOR EXTRA POINTS, even if you feel confident in the subject, better to be safe than sorry

carry a cardigan or a light sweater and a small umbrella. You never know what teacher is gonna put the AC like it’s antartica and an umbrella can save you from sunburns and unexpected rain

carry headache pills or any medication you use semi-frequently, also a small utensils kit cause who likes using disposable utensils when you can carry your own + it’s better for the environment, also a hair tie

have an ‘emergency kit’, I have one that barely takes up a lot of space in my backpack and I am just now having to refill it 5 semesters in, I have mini deodorant, a small toothbrush/toothpaste I’ve never actually used, mini wet wipes, mini hand sanitizer, mini perfume, mini brush, toilet paper, band-aids, pads and kleenex.

^ these last 3 are cause my mama taught me to always be prepared and cause I personally can be a bit paranoid, I’m the mom-friend who always has anything anyone could ever need :) so those are according to the type of person you are. I also carry an UNO card game for when multiple teachers cancel on us (yes my backpack is very heavy but the paranoia can’t catch me if I’m prepared)

If you’re propense to low-sugar do NOT skip breakfast and try to carry a small snack, or in general always carry a small snack

if your career involves having to go to the laboratory, LISTEN TO THE INTERNS/LAB ASSISTANTS, half the time, they’ll know more than the teacher

remember, when it comes to group projects, you don’t have friends, you have classmates. Someone can be a great friend but an awful classmate and I am not risking a grade over a lazy friend, prepare yourself to separate those 2

try to figure out what to listen to when doing hw or studying, me personally, classical music (specifically cello music from the barroque period) really helps me focus

ALWAYS DO YOUR HOMEWORK, those are some of the easiest points to get

Finally, don’t be afraid to decorate your backpack! One of the funnest things of college to me (cause I was at a strict school for middle school and spent highschool in pandemic) has been to decorate my backpack with pins!

I’ve found a great thing about college is that genuienly no one cares about your interests and you can freely express yourself without fear of being bullied or ridiculed. Everyone is far too tired or focused to care. At least that has been my experience so far, be ridiculous if you like

I have ATLA pins, an asexual flag, spider-gwen, a matching carebear with my bestie, the school mascot and a dinasour (still looking for a winx pin)

I think that’s all I can come up with for now, so yeah, hope this helps and best of luck bestie!

[college-ravings]

Just finished a hellish week in my life studying for 2 quizzes and 1 exam. I think that one of the worst feelings in the world is studying until you drop, then finding out you got points off on a quiz because of a silly mistake.

Point is: I need to sleep more 😭

[girltalkcollectives]

Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist: What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Academic Burnout

Currently writing this from my favorite corner of the library at 1 AM, surrounded by empty coffee cups and half-finished to-do lists. If you're also here – physically or metaphorically – this post is for you.

The Breaking Point

Last week, I:

Pulled three all-nighters

Cried in the bathroom between classes

Forgot to eat actual meals for two days

Drank enough coffee to fuel a small country

Had a breakdown over a B+

Ignored approximately 47 texts from friends

Convinced myself I was failing at life

And then I realized: this isn't normal. This isn't okay. And I'm definitely not alone.

The Pressure We're Under

Let's be real about what we're juggling:

5+ classes with endless assignments

Internship applications

Club responsibilities

Part-time jobs

Social life maintenance

Basic human needs (allegedly)

Family expectations

Our own impossible standards

Signs of Burnout I Ignored

Looking back, the red flags were screaming:

Constant exhaustion (but unable to sleep)

Sunday night panic attacks

Zero motivation for things I used to love

Living on caffeine and protein bars

Emotional breakdowns over minor setbacks

Feeling disconnected from friends

That weird eye twitch that wouldn't go away

The Toxic Academic Culture No One Talks About

We normalize:

"I'll sleep when I'm dead"

Competing over who's more stressed

Skipping meals to study

Feeling guilty for taking breaks

Measuring our worth by our GPA

Sacrificing mental health for grades

Working ourselves sick

What Actually Helped Me

Real strategies that made a difference:

Setting non-negotiable rest times

No studying after 11 PM

One full day off per week

Actual lunch breaks (revolutionary, I know)

2. Creating study boundaries

50 minutes of work, 10-minute breaks

No studying in bed

Phone on "Do Not Disturb"

Designated study spots

3. Taking care of my body

Keeping snacks in my backpack

Water bottle always with me

Walking between classes instead of rushing

Actually using my gym membership

The Reality Check I Needed

Truth bombs I'm learning:

No grade is worth your mental health

You can't pour from an empty cup

Success isn't measured by exhaustion

Your worth isn't your productivity

Rest is productive

B's get degrees (and that's okay!)

Permission Slips We All Need

It's okay to:

Take a mental health day

Ask for extensions when needed

Say no to extra commitments

Not be the perfect student

Change your major if you're unhappy

Prioritize sleep over studying

Ask for help

What Recovery Looks Like

Small wins I'm celebrating:

Actually eating three meals a day

Sleeping more than 4 hours

Taking weekends off

Setting boundaries with study groups

Deleting social media during finals

Learning to say "no"

Accepting that good enough is enough

Practical Steps I'm Taking

My new non-negotiables:

No all-nighters (they don't work anyway)

Regular meal times

Phone-free study blocks

Weekly planning sessions

Morning routine that isn't just coffee

Therapy appointments

Exercise that feels good

To Anyone Struggling

Remember:

Your grades don't define you

This phase of life is temporary

Everyone's path is different

It's okay to take breaks

You're doing better than you think

Asking for help is strength

You matter more than your GPA

Moving Forward

I'm learning that:

Success looks different for everyone

Balance isn't perfect

Rest is necessary

Breaks make you more productive

Health comes first

Some things can wait

You're not falling behind

The Plot Twist

Maybe the real achievement isn't getting straight A's while running three clubs and maintaining a perfect Instagram feed. Maybe it's learning to take care of yourself while chasing your dreams.

[femmefatalevibe]

hello, gorgeous. im starting college soon and im on my way to become a femme fatale, so i have two questions for you

1. how can i incorporate the femme fatale way of being into academia?

2. what things/brands are affordable for a college student? i’d love to wear high-quality clothes like the ones you recommend, but i can’t afford them. are there any other products/services that i could add to my routine for a cheap price?

thank you so much in advance xx

Hi love! Congratulations on starting this new chapter of your life <3

Here are my thoughts:

1. how can i incorporate the femme fatale way of being into academia?

Understand the importance and power of:

Knowing how to learn, study, and get in the practice of regularly acquiring new information

Understanding how to work through concepts, set goals, and clearly communicate your thoughts to better articulate a concept or build a case/argument

Becoming a better writer, reader, and remaining focused/prioritized when it comes to your tasks and to-do list

Learning how to absorb information and apply this knowledge to different situations/areas of life through these acquired skill sets/methodology

Developing important self-presentation skills through presentations, written/verbal communication/networking

Refining your aptitude for pattern recognition, gaining more insight into human nature/what makes people tick, and learning how to persuade/seduce others through your words/insights

2. what things/brands are affordable for a college student? i’d love to wear high-quality clothes like the ones you recommend, but i can’t afford them. are there any other products/services that i could add to my routine for a cheap price?

Totally get it! Budgets are particularly tight for many college students.

For a service option, I would say I recommend Rent The Runway (I believe it's around $100/month for 10ish items rotated throughout the month).

For more affordable alternatives, I would say your best bet is to dig deep into the sale sections of department stores/The Outnet and similar e-commerce sites by utilizing all the filters you need (budget, size, colors, item type, etc.).

If you're searching for more affordable brands generally, I would say some of the highest quality affordable brands available are:

Express: The "Body Contour" line has amazing basics and I love their Editor High-Waisted Flare Trousers (these might be too professional for what you need right now), but I've heard they have very solid denim and shirting options, too!

Oak & Fort (I prefer them to Everlane/Abercrombie TBH)

Quince (for washable silks, cashmere and basics for $40-$70)

4th & Reckless (a lot of their items are on sale for $25-$50!)

Because of Alice (Outlet) – mostly under $70

Pixie Market (sale items are often around $50-70)

Banana Republic (especially the sale section)

Everlane/Abercrombie have their gems – some of the trouser/outerwear quality is iffy, though

Lioness/DISSH

Frankie Shop (in-house brand – on sale it's similar to Mango prices)

Maniere de Voir (mostly under/around $100, TOP quality for the price)

Shoprumored

Mango/COS (better than other fast fashion choices, IMO)

Hope this helps xx

[spaghetti-academia]

advice that would have helped me in college:

Go for the decaf option. You're already drinking energy drinks. Don't give your body too much caffeine, as it might cause issues.

On the weekend, get out of bed early and go grocery shopping. Once you're done grocery shopping, go straight back home and meal prep. Wash the produce and put them in serving-sized containers. Make your lunches and dinners for the week. Get it done within the next couple of hours after you shop. Once you're done meal prepping, go back to bed and take a nap.

Unpack all of your things. Get everything out of the boxes. Go through everything that's in your dorm. Donate the things you don't need anymore. The sooner you get your dorm organized in the beginning of the year, the sooner you can get a cleaning schedule/organization system going and the less stress your environment is going to cause.

Learn which places are good to study in before 8am and after 5pm. On a college campus, usually there are plenty of buildings that you can access after 5pm, because colleges need to provide study space. However, learning which places are open before 8am is important too, because you might need to get some early morning studying in without disturbing your roommates.

Learn how to budget. You deserve to have fun and use your academic breaks the way you want. Save up your money, so that you can have spring break to yourself and you can have a solo vacation. Even if budgeting isn't a "big deal" in college, it makes for good practice.

Don't be afraid to talk to professors. They're there to help you. You're there to get an education, and their job is to provide that for you. Get your money's worth.

Be creative with the dining hall options. You can sneak in your own food and combine it with the food you have in your meal. For example, I brought in a rice cake and I used their peanut butter and bananas to make a PB Banana rice cake.

Similarly, bring containers with you to the dining hall. If you like the way they make apple sauce, then put their apple sauce in a container. Bring multiple plates and do a little meal prep. Get food to go.

This is more of a wish than a "habit," but try to establish a good boundary between school and everything else. Set rules for yourself. "If I can't complete at least two of these readings, then I won't go to the club meeting tonight."

This is advice from my own school: Every hour in class means two hours of studying/prep for the class beforehand. For example, if the class is 1 hour 35 minutes long, then that's around 3 hours of studying before the class. It doesn't have to be done all at once, but schedule accordingly.

Go to the school counselor. They may not be the best at dealing with specific mental health problems, but they can be a good place to vent without judgment.

If your professor requires you to submit written reflections of your readings, don't antogonize over it too much. "Eh, it probably sounds stupid but it meets the minimum requirements" is better than no reflection submitted.

Learn as much as you can about the resources your college provides and use as much of them as you can. Whether its health/medical, career, academic, disability accomodations, etc. get your money's worth.

If you want to read more, spending at least 15 minutes or reading at least 10 pages per day is a small amount that adds up over time. One of my regrets is not reading more of the books from the school library, since many of them were on niche subjects and were extremely interesting.

If you suspect that you have a learning disability (e.g. ADHD), research the symptoms and management techniques for them, even if you don't have the resources to get diagnosed and treated. I strongly suspect that I have Inattentive ADHD, but I couldn't seek a diagnosis while in college (or now). Learning study techniques and management strategies for people who have similar struggles would have been very helpful for me, rather than going with generic advice for people who had a more neurotypical brain.

Honor your bedtime. I know that college students like to stay up late and pull all-nighters, but my mental and physical health would have been a lot better if I made my nights as peaceful as possible and went to bed on time. Turn your night routine into a ritual. The hour or two before you go to bed should be to help you get a full night's rest. It's time for you, so be selfish and treat it like it's sacred. You deserve it.

disclaimer: this advice may or may not help you. take what works, and leave what doesn't work. it's okay if the advice given doesn't 100% apply to you.

[being-addie]

Being well-educated is the dream. Do not give up your career young. This world is cutthroat and the only way to survive is to have money. Learn. Grow. Conquer. Earn.

[merridelicious]

I’m moving into college in 3 weeks have you got any tips :0

yes!! quite a few actually. :) *for mutuals outside of the u.s., this advice is based on a U.S. American university experience, so some of it may not apply to you.

PLEASE SEND ASKS if you have specific questions, and I’ll either speak from my own experience or give information from other friends in university rn!!

packing:

You don’t need to bring ALL your stuff. (Really, it’s okay. Also, you have limited space.)

A quick Google search of “college packing list 2023” will yield many results. It’s up to you to decide what “essentials” are actually essential, but suffice it to say, think about the things you use on a daily basis and then think about what you don’t have at home that you’ll need in student housing.

Apartment or dorm, unless you’re really lucky—you’ll be sharing living space & appliances with other people. Yes, that includes showers. If you can get toiletries cheaper locally than in the location of your university, save yourself the time and money. Shower shoes are an absolute must, because those showers can get disgusting.

If you have a meal plan that lasts the entire year, you don’t really need to pack a bunch of food (or go grocery shopping a ton during the school year) but it can be nice to have dry goods & snacks on hand. (I keep rice, macaroni & cheese, crackers, & some type of dried fruit around, if nothing else. Whatever tastes strike your fancy, feel free to add/substitute.) If you’re cooking all your own food, you’re going to need at least a cooking pot, frying pan, spatula, dish sponges, and dish soap, as well as some resealable food storage containers and cheap cups and bowls (I got most of that at Target. They tend to have back-to-school sales and bowls & cups go for less than a dollar each.)

Laundry is going to be a pain in the ass, unless again, you luck out and have a washer and dryer in-unit. Ditto for dishes (unless your space comes with a dishwasher). Do yourself a favor & get a huge bin of Tide pods, pack of laundry sheets, & at least two paper towel rolls so you don’t have to run out every week to replenish cleaning supplies. (I personally despise having dish towels to wash, so if you don’t mind them take the paper towel advice with a grain of salt.)

My dorm was weird and had a sink in it. If you’re responsible for cleaning your own sink it will get nasty quickly. Either take turns with your roommate(s)/housemate(s), or figure out who the designated sink cleaner is.

friends/socializing:

Your first friend group in college will likely not be your last, nor will it last. This group is usually composed of people close in proximity to you aka convenience friends. You might realize three or four months in that these are not your people and you don’t like hanging out with them. This is perfectly normal and okay! You’ll find people who you do vibe with. I encourage you not to limit making friends to your specific university, although if you go to a small one like I do that can be tough.

Universities often have events with free stuff, including free food. Take advantage of these events if & when you can. They’re usually very laid back, and if you’re not in the mood to stick around, you can grab food and then dip.

Orientation events & icebreakers within your first week are to be expected. Try to remember a fun fact about yourself (which is what you usually get asked, along with your intended major, name, pronouns—sometimes, & hometown).

Your RA(s) aren’t cops, but they also aren’t your friends. They’re required to report sketchy shit that happens. My RAs had a rule that if they didn’t hear, see, or smell anything suspicious, it was like nothing happened, but try to get a feel for what yours look out for.

It is more than okay to need/want therapy. You’ve just gone through a massive change in your life and you did it mostly, if not all, by yourself. Your university counseling services (if applicable) are generally not the best place to go for therapy, though. This is especially true if you’re worried about your privacy. I don’t think I’ve heard of student discounts for therapy, but some therapists have this policy called sliding scale where you pay what you can. Find a person you can talk openly with and who is experienced with your mental health concerns/practices the right kind of therapy for you. (CBT, DBT, & EMDR are a few examples.)

dating, love, etc.

First and foremost, if this section doesn’t apply to you because you don’t participate or aren’t ready to in college, please feel free to skip!

If you’re still here, obviously I am not the expert on your love life—you are. That being said, without getting too personal, here are some things I’ve picked up through trial and error.

If you’re starting college, and haven’t yet dated anyone, it’s okay to feel behind. What isn’t okay is being patronized or taken advantage of for your lack of experience. I wish I could say it’s just common sense, but it’s crucial to figure out what your boundaries, limits, & standards are before getting into an intimate situation with somebody. (I myself learned this the hard way.)

simply put: It is okay to be picky! (Read that again.) Or not—what works for one person won’t work for everyone. Some people date & hook up just for fun, especially during college when a lot of changes are happening, and that suits them fine. Some people want stronger, longer connections, and that works for them. Some people focus on friends over partners and refrain from the entire dating & hookup scene. All are valid and healthy. (As long as you stay safe, sane, & consensual, and get tested.)

school stuff:

Please do yourself a favor and don’t schedule 8am classes five days a week. I don’t care if you could do it in high school—chances are you’re going to need to wake up way beforehand to get ready OR your roommate will do something ridiculous in the middle of the night that will wake you up. In this more than likely event, you won’t want to wake up and go straight to class. If you’re not a STEM major, this advice is easier than if you are (and if the first applies, my condolences and much love).

You need sleep no matter what—if that means midday naps, go for it. I don’t recommend skipping class to nap unless it’s an emergency though.

Re skipping class: some professors take attendance and your grade can suffer if you don’t attend. Aside from mental health days, skipping class for fun can be a slippery slope at some universities. (At some, Cs get degrees and grades don’t matter as much, especially if you aren’t looking to go down the postgrad path.)

[socstudies]

18-09-2023

im so scared of bears like i literally can't explain it and i don't even live in a country where there are wild bears but i really am scared of them??? and whenever i think about them i feel like there's a memory at the tip of my brain that i've forgotten but idk why??? i've never seen a wild bear before ???? also classes start in two weeks woo

[slavic-roots-western-mind]

Getting back on track after a slump

Life is non-linear as it turns out. Sometimes you're doing great and then all of a sudden you're completely thrown off and are struggling to get up.

It happens to pretty much everyone, and even though you can't really prevent a slump from happening, you can use this advice to help you get back on track

Make a list of what you have to do Sit down, make yourself some tea or coffee and just start writing what you need to do. Missed a deadline with that unfinished paper? Write it down, add a sub-bullet to ask for an extension/send an email explaining your circumstances to your professor/teacher (they're also human, chances are if you notify and explain the situation to them, they will do their best to help you).

Break down those tasks into sub-tasks. By simplifying and breaking down your tasks into smaller chunks you're not only making it easier to do them, but you're also helping yourself get rid of some anxieties or fears since that task now looks much easier and more manageable to accomplish.

Update or create a new routine. Whether your routine contributed towards this slump or not, its always good to update your routine as you grow and change. What may have worked then may not necessarily be appropriate or helpful now. We humans are creatures of change, it's only natural that we outgrow our past.

Take it slow when easing back into your routine. Going too fast can actually be counter-productive, because you should be naturally aligning yourself with it and not forcing yourself into something you're not completely ready to follow. Trying to overcompensate generally isn't a good idea, as putting extra pressure on yourself especially when you're just trying to get everything sorted may not end very well.

Write down your goals and dreams to help you get motivated. It may seem difficult and at times pointless to try and get back on track, and reminding yourself about your goals and aims can definitely encourage you to take the steps to getting back on track or starting over.

Talk to someone about what you're feeling and going through. Your school or uni have counselors and people who can help you get through this if you require help. You don't necessarily have to jump straight into it, just start with a friendly email briefly explaining the situation and go from there.

[ashersbraincell]

The best piece of advice I can give you, as someone who’s done with it and deeply regrets just about everything:

Don’t sell your entire childhood for praise. Don’t waste your entire childhood chasing a dream that can throw you away the moment you’re no longer performing at your unrealistic best all of the time. You have a life, you’re not some kind of drone ffs.

And when it’s all done, will you truly be able to look back on everything and say with absolute certainty that this is what you truly desire? That this path you forged is what fulfills you?

When there’s no longer anybody there to tell you that you’ve done a good job, how will you find that validation within yourself?

[funkopersonal]

Guys… I need to start thinking abt colleges and I’m STRESSING BRO. Applying for colleges as a first gen is no joke. If y’all have any advice for stuff to put on my list to consider lmk (reblog or comment)! And that means like either actual college names or like… stuff to consider (ex: Jewish student life, rural vs city, etc)

😭 y’all this is not okay I have no idea what I’m looking for and my parents don’t help…

(Also feel free to ask me questions bc I need people to prompt thought about this but im clueless on what I should share?)

[bixiebeet]

Question for the fandom: what do you think the Ghostbusters wrote about in their college/grad school admissions essays?