#cocsa vent

[ed-recoverry]

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser(s) were never punished.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser is living a normal life.

Shoutout to everyone whose allegations were immediately dismissed.

Shoutout to everyone reported their abuser to the police and nothing happened.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser was able to get out of significant legal punishment.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser is generally seen as a good person.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser is a “pillar of the community.”

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser has lied about you.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser has framed them.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser threatened them into silence.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser discouraged them from reporting.

Shoutout to everyone who lost friends after reporting and or exposing their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who lost family after reporting and or exposing their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who received backlash for reporting and or exposing their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who has created a rift in their family or friends by reporting or exposing their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who is terrified to tell anyone about their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who never had the opportunity to talk about their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who feels like talking about their abuser is worthless.

Shoutout to everyone whose case was dismissed by the court.

Shoutout to everyone who faced backlash after their abuser was put in jail.

Shoutout to everyone who faced backlash for testifying against their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who still has yet to be believed that they were abused.

Shoutout to everyone who knows their abuser will never be punished.

Shoutout to everyone who knows their abuser will never face backlash.

Shoutout to everyone who knows their story will be dismissed by loved ones.

Shoutout to everyone who spoke out about their abuser, but wasn’t believed until something happened to someone else.

Shoutout to everyone who spoke out about their abuser and wasn’t believed until they seriously harmed you.

Shoutout to everyone who has been mocked for trying to speak out about their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who has faced social repercussions for speaking out or exposing their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who has suffered financially for speaking out or exposing their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser has admitted guilt, but never faced justice.

Shoutout to everyone who knows they were abused and are punished for it.

[sleeplessv0id]

will this horrible feeling ever pass?

[flowersbark]

having a complicated relationship with sex/sexual things after sa is so weird because like . it'll be 1 am and ill be switching through apps and ill be thirsting over a character and then ill open tumblr and i remember everything bad shes ever done to me

[sickmuseum]

milk and honey - rupi kaur.

[bpdmaxxer]

“But he was just a child”

So was I

And I’m suffering and he’s not

[yuricin]

yeah, i hate everything that my abusers did. but what disgusts and angers me more than anything that they did, is the fact that they're living their best lives, with no consequences. meanwhile, i'm still trying to fucking repair the life that they ruined for me

[timbermeshivers]

It’s always “I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it” and never “I’m sorry that happened to you”

[1unpunishable1]

Trauma art about how the Menendez trail affected me. Lyrics from Lingua Ignota and Ethel Cain

[cvtting-k1tty]

I hate how fucked up I am from being sexually abused by my brother. Like now I have a fucking ag3 d1ff3renc3 k1nk and inc3st k1nk no matter how much I don’t wanna have it. Fuck my life. It’s like my brain is now wired to only derive pleasure from the things that hurt me.

[diaryofamadgirl]

maybe it was all my fault that i was raped cause she was literally my age and we were just kids. i didn’t want her to do it but i didn’t say no so i was probably asking for it anyway. i shouldn’t have let her sleep in my bed i should’ve told her to get out of my room but i couldn’t. why didn’t i just say no. i should’ve told her i didn’t want her filthy fingers in my vagina but i didn’t and i still feel her fingers all these years later. i tried to speak and nobody believed me cause we were just kids.

“she was only 10!! a 10 year old can’t rape someone!!”

then how come she scissored me and fingered me and fucked me raw when i was literally just a child? who cares if she didn’t know any better she still did it. she penetrated me with her filthy fingers and i wanna die now and i can’t believe i let her. all i think about is sex now. just sex sex sex sex sex all i wanna do is touch myself and i think of her and i think of her disgusting voice and when im finished i can’t even look at myself in the mirror cause im such a fat filthy whore. i hate myself and i hate everyone cause nobody will believe me. i feel so disgusting i hate her so much she was my stepsister why would she abuse me like that when i was just a little girl? i wanna stop thinking about sex so bad i wanna stop i feel so disgusting and filthy. please god let me stop hypersexual please stop!!

someone please help me

[ourson-guimauve]

Does it even count

Sure I spend nights crying over it, without being able to breathe properly

But does what they did to me actually count

Can I really call myself a victim

Sure, there isn't a hierarchy of victims, but I feel like I went through so little to call myself that

Sure I remember wanting them to stop, being terrified, paralyzed, of actually asking them

But they didn't do much

Aren't I just overreating, I wonder

It's been years I've been wondering

[ed-recoverry]

Reminders this Sexual Assault Awareness Month that your assault(s) are valid even if:

Your loved ones don’t believe you

Your assaulter was your lover/partner

You “didn’t fight back”

You were intoxicated

You originally consented

You had consensual sex with them in the past

You waited to speak out

You’ve never spoken out

You didn’t realize it was assault until later in life

You didn’t speak out until later in life

You didn’t go to police

You still haven’t told anyone

You were a child

You were a teenager

You were an adult

You both were children

You were wearing “provocative” clothes

You flirted with them

You pretended to like it

Penetration wasn’t involved

You “gave up” on fighting

You’re scared to tell someone

You can’t talk about it

You can talk about it, but don’t want to

The police didn’t believe you

Your “friends” didn’t/don’t believe you

You still had consensual sex with them after it happened

You never developed any mental illness/trauma-related symptoms from it

The person(s) stopped

The person(s) apologized

You thought it was consensual at the time

No one else was assaulted by them

You initiated the encounter

You orgasmed

You showed signs of arousal

You never were given an apology

Your assaulter refuses to say it was assault

Your assaulter was a family member

Your assaulter was a friend

You feel like it was your fault

You feel like you could’ve stopped it

You’re a girl

You’re a boy

You’re trans

You’re nonbinary, gender-fluid, etc.

You were bigger than them

You were stronger than them

If it was “only” once

If it happened multiple times

If you didn’t act on a bad feeling before the assault happened

If you could have escaped

If speaking out will “ruin their life”

If “it was just a mistake”

If you were warned

If it was an affair

If they were never punished

If they were punished, but it doesn’t feel like enough

There is no right or wrong way to be assaulted. There is no real or fake way to be assaulted. There is no type of assault that “isn’t that bad.” There is no assault that is your fault. You didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t okay. I believe you. I believe in you.

[sleeplessv0id]

sometimes the distractions fail, and I am forced to confront the fact that I am still as sick as I've always been.

[donttellmehowtoheal]

[sickmuseum]

I am sitting down in the shower It is this dirty type of clean That keeps me trapped in here for hours Still, I scrub and scrub until my body bleeds Convince myself I am coming clean Forget and ignore who I used to be That kid is never coming back

Bathtub - The Front Bottoms.

[bpdmaxxer]

I hate that I need validation for my trauma

Like I didn’t have a mental breakdown so bad yesterday over my flashbacks my mom called the hospital

And yet I still question if I’m being to dramatic was it really that deep? Was it really sa? I don’t even remember enough