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Mom Friend - Kenma - pt 2
The room is vibrating with quiet conversations and the anticipation only a good game can bring.
Below, Hinata’s warming up. He knows exactly where you’re sitting and he waves excitedly before moving on in the line-up.
“Hey, you’re here already.” Kuroo smiles when he squeezes through, pulling you into a hug.
Behind him, Kenma comes shuffling in. You move to hug him, like you always do when you’re meeting in a group, though you barely touch this time. It’s a fake-out more than anything else.
“Have you been here long?”
“Hinata needed a ride,” you shrug your shoulders. “I had the car this weekend, so it wasn’t a problem.”
Kuroo whistles a mismatched tune. “Do you think they’re going to win?”
“Oh, for sure,” you smile up at him. “Like how can they not?”
You know you’re not the most knowledgeable when it comes to Volleyball. Most games one of the boys ends up explaining a play to you, but no one ever seemed to mind.
Today, though, you mind.
You know Kenma hasn’t told Hinata about that night, because Hinata’s the worlds worst liar. You’d be able to tell if he knew.
Kuroo, however, is an amazing liar. If he knows, and you suspect he does, he isn’t letting it slip.
His kindness feels forced to you now. Is he pitying you?
“Did you get that?” He asks half an hour later when the referee waves his hands in a way you haven’t seen before.
The “no” is on the tip of your tongue but you can’t bring yourself to say it.
“You don’t have to explain it,” you say instead, the words a little more biting than they should be. “It’s fine.”
Kuroo startles and behind him, you can see the concern in Kenma’s face.
You can’t stand it anymore, being this close to him, and get up.
“I need to use the toilet,” you rush out. “Lady problems.”
The line is short.
But you sit on the cold toilet seat for fifteen minutes, scrolling through Tiktok until your heartbeat settles and you feel ready to go back out again.
You’ll have to apologize to Kuroo in some way if you want to save this friendship.
Though is there a way to save it? Should you, even?
-
“Did you see my spike?” Hinata asks later, hair damp from the game, towel slung around his neck. “Did you?”
You’re not sure which one he means, but you nod and you fawn over him like you usually do.
But then he’s gone, gone for a quick shower, and you’re left to wait around.
“You good?” Kuroo asks and you can feel your spine stiffen, from the top all the way down to the bottom.
“Yes,” you tell him, though your eyes stay on the floor. A quick check, Kenma’s shoes are nowhere to be seen. At least he’s not here to witness this. “I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“I don’t want your pity.”
Kuroo quiets. He’s usually someone who moves a lot, squiggles his foot, or taps his thigh, but he’s motionless right now, at least the lower part of him that you can see. Nothing is going to make you lift your eyes up. You don’t want to see his face.
“Did something happen last week?”
You hesitate.
“Nothing happened.”
“Are you sure? Kenma said you watched the movie and went out for dinner after like we usually do. He said you didn’t talk much, that it was quiet, but if it’s something about Kenma-”
“Why does it have to be about Kenma?” You lift your eyes now, want to see his face. He looks concerned. Too soft.
He reminds you of yourself. How did Kenma call it? Bothering people.
“Maybe it was something at work. Or it’s because I’m on my period. Or I’m just having a bad day. Maybe some creep tried to hit on me and I’m weirded out by that. Why do you automatically assume that it’s about Kenma?”
Kuroo’s quiet for a moment. “You usually react differently to Kenma being around.”
“Yeah, well,” you shrug. “Things change.”
He looks pained but he doesn’t pry anymore. You can’t help but think that he’ll ask Kenma about it later. That Kenma will tell him the truth, eventually, because they’ve been friends longer than anyone you know.
You force yourself to smile. This might be the last time you see Kuroo in a while.
“I’m just being weird,” you promise him. “A girl has to be weird sometimes.”
“Okay,” he nods and you stay there, silent, until Hinata comes back.
- - -
“Hey.”
You look up from your desk. Kuroo’s standing in the doorway, shirt pushed up to the elbows, his hair defying gravity as usual. It’s been a few weeks since you’ve seen him.
Work has kept you busy. You’ve got other friends too, though Hinata has been pretty good at calling you up.
“Hey,” you hesitate for a second. “Can I help you?”
“Yeah,” he smiles. “I was in the area and remembered you work here. Do you wanna get lunch together?”
You hesitate.
“Just checking in on you,” Kuroo promises. “Don’t be a stranger?”
You sigh. “Fine.”
-
“Kenma hasn’t told me anything, by the way,” Kuroo tells you as he separates his chopsticks. “If that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Why would I be worried about that?”
He chuckles. “You’re pretty good at deflecting, has anyone told you that before?”
“And you’re a mother-hen, has anyone told you that before?”
“Yeah,” he stuffs an egg roll into his mouth and nods.
“How do you deal with that?” You ask, pushing the rice around your bowl for a moment before taking a bite.
Kuroo shrugs. “I like being this way. If I step on somebody’s toes, I apologize of course, and try to stay clear of that, but in the end… it’s who I want to be, so why change?”
You consider that, but it’s not that easy.
Nothing really ever is when there are feelings involved.
“We’re having a movie night next weekend,” Kuroo adds gently when your bowl is almost empty. “I’m formally inviting you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know. But I want to. I like having you around. We,” he corrects himself with a grin. “Like having you around.”
“Who’s we?”
“Bokuto, of course, and where’s Bokuto there’s Akaashi. Atsumu invited himself and he’s bringing Osamu, so there’s food involved. I think Hinata managed to rope Sakusa in, but that’s always a little debatable.” He stops. “I just realized they’re all just guys, so I’m counting on you to invite a few girls.”
“Are you using me to find your friends some girlfriends?”
“Why, is it working?”
- - -
It’s no surprise that Kenma’s not showing up to movie night. He’s not a big fan of crowds, you know, and there’s always a crowd when Atsumu is concerned.
It’s a good thing you end up going because you end up setting Emi up with Osamu - completely on accident - and as Hinata figures out he’s allergic to some weird European drink you’re the only one with antihistamine pills in your possession.
-
“Do you always come this prepared?” Sakusa asks, hiding out in the kitchen where it’s calmest.
“I guess,” you reply, preparing yourself for another sting.
“I like that,” Sakusa hums. “Do you have hand sanitizer?”
“Sure,” you pull it out of your purse. “Scented or unscented?”
“Unscented please.” He offers his palm and thanks you quietly when you squeeze out the liquid.
“You can call me Kiyoomi,” he adds after a moment of silence. “Just don’t tell Miya.”
You smile. “This is what being knighted must feel like.”
Kiyoomi taps your forehead. “Don’t get too cocky or I’ll revoke your rights.”
-
“Are you coming to the cinema this weekend?” Hinata asks after a game, eyelids already fluttering with exhaustion. “It’s that one movie you said you wanted to watch.”
“Sure,” you tell him, ushering him forward, waving at Kiyoomi whose car’s a little further down in the parking lot. “Who did you invite?”
“Everyone,” Hinata yawns. “Can you drive? Key is in my-”
“Wallet, I know.” You pull it out of the bag he’s carrying. “If you invited everyone, surely you wouldn’t miss me.”
Hinata furrows his brows. “That’s not true.”
It’s sweet, but you wonder about it sometimes still.
It’s the age-old question, isn’t it? Do you like me because you need me or do you need me because you like me?
You think you’ve grown, in these last few months.
You like the way you are. Not the smartest and not the dumbest. Over-prepared and over-caring.
But you’ve also recognized that you’re a friend and not a mother.
That you want a partner, not a child.
“I’m good,” you tell Hinata when you reach his apartment complex. “But thanks for inviting me. Maybe next time.”
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Mom Friend - Kenma pt one two three
#my writing#kenma angst#kenma x reader#kenma#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu angst#haikyuu#sakusa#bokuto#kuroo#miya twins
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HABITS TO DROP WHEN GETTING YOUR LIFE TOGETHER
➝ CREATING UNAUTHENTIC & UNINTENTIONAL GOALS
the biggest mistakes you can make when creating goals is making goals that aren’t true to you and making goals for the sake of making goals.
it can be so exciting when you decide to get your life together. I mean, of course it is! there are so many possibilities! but when you start planning, don’t just write down the goals you see circulating on social media. what works for someone else may not be what works for you. don’t make your goals and habits based on what’s trending or popular in the self improvement community.
think about what you actually need for a minute. what is actually necessary? your goals and habits aren’t here to be glamorous, they’re here to help regardless of how simple or small they are. the point of thinking up new habits is to improve your life, so be intentional with your goals. what will practicing this habit or achieving this goal give you?
when you’re first starting out, your goals don’t have to be anything too crazy or intense. for example, let’s say you want to become a pink pilates girl and get into fitness. you shouldn’t jump right into it and say your goal is to work out for 2 hours 5 times a week. let’s consider some factors first. have you been living a completely sedentary kind of lifestyle? then try looking for exercises that’ll wake up dormant muscles. your goal should then be to repeat those exercises for how ever many times a week. then you’ll work your way up from there. (it’s important we don’t harm the body, so be mindful with your fitness goals.) what about your schedule? how much time can you actually give to working out? can your body even endure working out for that long?
anyways, hopefully you see what I mean. when creating goals, it’s not about having the “aesthetic” habits and goals that you may see on tiktok or tumblr. it’s about doing what is actually good for you and what’ll help you the most with where you are now in your journey. so please put some thought into your goals and where they’ll take you. creating unauthentic and unintentional habits will also mean you’ll be less likely to keep practicing them after a few times. at the end of the day, that doesn’t help you achieve anything and you’re left with a broken promise you’ve made to yourself. which leads me to my next point…
➝ NOT KEEPING YOUR WORD WHEN IT COMES TO YOU
let me start off by saying this— if you don’t even listen to yourself, why should anyone else? (harsh, ik)
a HUGE reason as to why people have no self confidence is because they don’t listen to themselves or keep the promises they’ve made to themselves. if you have no self trust, how could you have any self confidence?
now, building discipline can definitely be a challenge so if you want to start somewhere easy, nip your false promises in the bud and stop yourself from making them. that’s what I did when I was first trying to stop this habit. when my addiction to tiktok was at its peak I would always tell myself the usual “ten more minutes and then I’ll stop scrolling.” when I wanted to stop making false promises, I knew I had no control or discipline so the only thing I could do is be real with myself. I’d cut myself off when I heard myself say “five more minutes” because I knew it wasn’t going to happen. if I wasn’t going to quit my bad habit, then the least I could do is be honest with myself.
the things that you are constantly telling yourself, whether they’re mindless or intentional, matter.
so, stop telling yourself seemingly harmless lies. unnecessary false promises that you know are false will only fill you with tension.
➝ SEEING FAILURE AS AN INVITATION TO GIVE UP
this applies to so many things.
you wanted to be consistent with your reading goals but haven’t read a chapter in a week? dont give up. don’t tell yourself that being consistent is too hard for you, that since you missed a week this habit isn’t for you. make your goal a bit easier or give yourself another chance.
you wanted to spend more time doing art but it’s not turning out how you expected? dont give up. dont give yourself the title of a “bad artist” and never pick up a pencil again. move forward, give yourself another chance.
you wanted to quit your Instagram addiction but after a couple days you went back to scrolling for hours on ig reels? Don’t give up. dont tell yourself that this addiction isn’t gonna go away, don’t go back to the bad habit because you slipped up. give yourself another chance.
I think a lot of us (myself included) tend to give up at the first sign of failure, instead of reminding ourselves to keep going. it’d be wonderful if you could get it right on the first try. if you could read ten books a month right away after not reading a book in three years. if you could watch hours worth of tutorials and sketch the perfect portrait on the first attempt. if you could uninstall instagram for good and never feel the urge to go back. that would all be so amazing, but it’s not always the reality. expect the best from yourself and do the best you can, but also give yourself some compassion. keep in mind that you won’t always do things perfectly right away and that’s one thousand percent okay. when you feel yourself slipping up on your brand new goal, don’t end it there at the first failure. allow yourself to move forward, because the only other direction to move is backwards.
#it girl#self improvement#wonyoungism#that girl#pink#dream girl tips#dream girl life#study motivation#self concept#self confidence#self improvement tips#self care#productivity tips#it girl mentality#it girl lifestyle#dream girl#dream life#hyper feminine#self love#clean girl#pink academia#pink pilates princess#studyblr#glow up#glowing up#clean girl aesthetic#healing girl era#becoming her#healing#it girl energy
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I don't have a solid plot attached to this idea, I don't currently really have the desire to drop everything to go write "The Hobbit" fanfiction, but for a while I've had the idea of *gestures vaguely" some post-canon story (probably some form of fix-it) taking place before, during, and after a grand dwarven opera performance in Erebor.
Because I am absolutely certain that the Lonely Mountain had an absolutely stunningly beautiful Royal Opera House (and plenty of other, less grand performance halls) that, at the city's height, was putting at least one show every single day. Orchestral symphonies, operas and operettas, dramatic plays, dance performances... you name it, they had it and more. The various cultures of Middle Earth evidently ADORE music, dwarves absolutely included. The Company all bring instruments to Bag End to play and sing themselves off before their quest!
Also, beyond the music side of things, with how dwarves are named as master crafters? Smiths and toymakers and magicians? No way that they did not have some of the most gorgeous costumes, sets, and effects on the planet. Dwarves would go WILD with their articulated stage puppets, I know it.
One of my biggest issues with the film trilogy is that it failed to deeply explore the Company as people who had lost their home, beauty and culture included. Smaug not only killed countless people, entire families, and leave many of the survivors poor and desperate, the dragon went on to hoard their heirlooms and life's work and leave these priceless gold treasures UNUSED. It is an additional heartbreak to imagine Smaug tearing through Erebor neighborhood by neighborhood, house by house, so that he could tear out every gemstone in, say, mosaic made by someone's grandmother that sat above the breakfast table every morning. To think that Smaug in the aftermath tore magical lanterns off the walls, the sort that might have been decorated with animals or flowers, to make some daycare walkway just a little more cheery for the children, and in his greed left a dead city in the dark.
The live-action movies put both Smaug and the Balrog in these... absolutely enormous chambers that serve somewhat unclear purposes. The king's treasure vault and a former marketplace, I think? (Moria has been raised by goblins, I can forgive the emptiness.) It's a quick visual depiction of Thror's uncontrollable gold lust to give him a Scrooge McDuck room, sure, instead of anything with an actual organizational system (normally, I assume dwarves are big on sorting their vaults if they have one). Super big columns and hallways and staircases do somewhat effectively communicate the "lost glory" of Moria (I am very fond of these movies!!!), even if I also think it's not as interesting as it could have been. And the other obvious purpose of big, open warehouse-like spaces is 1) it's easier to animate the big creatures moving around in them generally and 2) it allows the films to show off the full-bodied visual spectacle of their big creatures.
But I think it would have also kicked ass to put Smaug in Erebor's former Royal Opera House or something, some enormous theatre decorated across generations. That could be big! The ART (statues, fountains, banners, windows, general architecture) that you could put on the exterior, which has had its face ripped open for the dragon to get inside? The ART that you could put INSIDE (mosaics, murals, and more) as Bilbo sneaks inside? Ohhh, you could include so many potential lore references with thematic relevance!
Also, Bilbo could get jump-scared by old articulated stage puppets or something. IT'S THE DRAGON-! Oh, no, it's some old opera prop. (Yes, we're talking more about an actual adaptation of "The Hobbit" rather than fanfiction concepts now.)
Sure, there's raw material treasure and coins hoarded here in this place, but there would also be musical instruments and toys and household tools and cookware and fancy dishes, wedding jewelry and anniversary gifts and family shrines and festival costumes, fountain statues and street lamps and mailboxes and business signs, and other evidence that people really LIVED here. These are all ordinary objects that Bilbo recognizes from the Shire.
We could tie these objects directly back to objects we saw featured in Bilbo's home early in this adaptation, which he was trying to "protect" from the dwarves during their "That's what Bilbo Baggins hates" song. There are half-burned portraits of people's late parents here too. Did he think that there weren't any dwarves who made doilies or handkerchiefs embroidered with flowers? Of course they made things like that too.
It's perfectly symbolic to, say, place Smaug's bed in an area like the king's throne room. The dragon is now the King Under The Mountain. But I think it would be deliciously haunting to have the throne room of Erebor be empty, the throne half-broken, the silver stripped from the walls and moved elsewhere, because Smaug doesn't care about Thror's old audience chamber. What's a dwarf king to a dragon? He burns the same as all the others. The dragon has instead made his bed in a beautiful public place of art and culture that was for the people, by the people, surrounded by the lovingly crafted belongings of the ordinary people he killed. Gold is gold to a dragon whether it's in a coin or a candlestick.
I think if you really want to sell one of the key messages of "The Hobbit", which in my opinion is: "If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." then you ought to throw yourself behind EREBOR being a place where food and cheer and song had value, not just the Shire. Thorin isn't lost at the end because he's a dwarf and dwarves don't value such things, but because he as a specific person who makes the mistake of weighing pride and gold over people, and he comes to regret that on his deathbed.
So, back to the fanfiction idea, I think that Erebor had music again in it as soon as dwarves started living in it again. It will take decades and decades before the Royal Opera House is half as splendid as it was before, and there is a performance there with beautiful costumes and puppets and sets comparable to those that came before, some traditional historical show that is part of specific seasonal holiday for dwarves. But that very first winter, when the future still looked grim, I think the dwarves cleared out a small stage and cast the roles of this traditional musical retelling of their history among them, based on who knew the parts best, because they aren't just miners and smiths and soldiers, and there was music again in Erebor that winter despite all the damage that the dragon did.
#file this under: me banging on random doors demanding to be given a fortune to make an animated Hobbit movie again#I would kick so much ass; I would make Choices; the design of my adaptation would be the Most#tossawary tolkien#the hobbit#smaug#fic ideas#character death#gimli takes legolas to a very classic very famous very high art dwarvish opera once and it's five hours long and 1/12 in a cycle#long post
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MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE END OF ARCANE SEASON 2
So uh…. the end of Arcane tore my heart out and shattered it into a million pieces. I may have blacked out and written a short, post-canon fic of Vi mourning for Jinx. Fic under the cut, or you can read it on ao3 here:
The dust from the war on Piltover had settled. Fires were extinguished, and bodies were buried. A worn hopefulness had spread over the city, broken bones held perfectly still with the slim chance they might mend. Everyone had lost something, and now only the question of what came next remained.
It was late at night, but Vi couldn’t sleep. She hadn’t been able to rest for more than a few hours at a time in the past few days. Most nights, she laid in bed besides Caitlyn, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest, clinging to the reassurance that at least one person she loved was still here.
Silent feet hit carpet as Vi slipped out of bed. She let herself wander the Kiramman estate in silence. A ghost echoing through the hallway, haunted by the weight of all she’d lost.
At some point she found herself in the garden. The moonlight illuminated the array of flowers and trees that surrounded a marble water fountain. Vi settled herself at its edge, staring into the water. It shimmered blue, like the hextech crystals her sister had loved. Gentle ripples fanned out from its center with soft splashes, a mimicry of Jinx’s hair, loose and wild as it had been in the cell.
You’re never going to give up on me, are you? Another broken promise, another betrayal, another failure. It wasn’t fair. Vi had only ever asked for one thing. For her little sister to be safe right beside her. She wanted to cry and scream and throw things and rage against the entire fucking world until there was nothing left but ashes, because what was even the point if her sister wasn't-
“Vi?” A soft voice broke her from her thoughts. Caitlyn crouched down next to her, wearing a blue robe and a concerned expression. “Are you alright?”
Vi looked away. “I just needed to think.”
“You miss your sister, don’t you?” she asked as she sat beside Vi.
“She can’t just be gone, Cait.” Her voice cracked around the plea. “Not after all this.”
“What happened to her… I know it was unfair,” Caitlyn said softly, “but you can’t blame yourself. Jinx made her choice.”
“Well she chose wrong!” Vi snapped.
“Maybe. But it was still her choice. Don’t take that away from her.”
“She never really listened to me,” Vi said with a wet laugh, “not when it really mattered. No one could tell her what to do.”
Caitlyn smiled sadly. “Your sister had so much spirit. So much energy.”
“You don’t have to…” Vi sighed. “She killed your mom. You don’t have to pretend for me.”
“I think we’re all more than our worst actions. Your sister included.” Caitlyn reached down and took her hand. “I only wish I’d had the chance to know the side of her you saw.”
“She was so smart. Even when we were little kids. She was always screwing around with some gadget or other.” Vi shook her head with a fond smile. “It drove Milo crazy sometimes. And she was so… good. I know how that sounds now, with everything she did, but…”
“I understand. I saw how much she loved you, Vi,” Caitlyn murmured.
“She just wanted to help,” Vi said despairingly, “even when everything was falling apart, even after I abandoned her… all she wanted was family. That’s why Silco got to her. That's why she died. Because I failed.”
“You were just a child,” Caitlyn reminded her gently.
“So was she!” Vi’s shouting gave way to sobs. “She was just a kid. And now she- she won’t get the chance to be anything else.”
Caitlyn pulled her into a tight hug, and she collapsed into her girlfriend’s arms. Vi wept bitter tears for her parents, their broken dreams for a better world, for Mylo and Claggor, two street kids who could have been so much more than were allowed to be, for Vander, his undying devotion to them all. She wept for Powder, that earnest little girl, and for Jinx, that wild fighter, and for every person her sister ever had been and would never be. And Vi cried for herself- for a family that had gone up in flames twice, for the miserable years she’d spent alone, for the hope she’d stubbornly hung onto all these years that had plummeted into the abyss with her sister. Vi wept and shook and sobbed, letting out all her anguish, all her pain, until she finally reached a point where she had no tears left inside her. Nothing left to give.
“I’m sorry for making you deal with this,” she whispered into Caitlyn’s chest.
“It’s alright.” Her girlfriend pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ve got you. Always.”
#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane season two spoilers#arcane#arcane season 2#vi#jinx#vi arcane#jinx arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitvi#caitlyn arcane#vi x caitlyn#my writing#lich saves this#for later
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The One That Got Away
Part 2
Characters: Reader, (Y/N), and nicknames babe(s). Jensen Ackles. Jared Padalecki. Misha Collins. Ruthie Connell. Rob Benedict. Osric Chau. Alexander Calvert. Briana Buckmaster. Eric Kripke. Lily (o.c) Abby (o.c) Brett (o.c)
Warnings: Drinking. Language. Angst. A smidgen of smut(not too graphic) Talk of blackmail, Talk of pregnancy loss, Cheating. Talks of past cheating.
Summary: You get pulled back into the magic of supernatural conventions and realize the love you once had is still there.
Word count: 6,275
A/N: Sorry it took so long. Hope y'all enjoy it. 💗
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Like, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated 💗
Part 1
Jensen’s P.o.V
Jensen watched you walk away in Ruthie’s arms. He turned to Jared and sighed. “Exactly how much of that did you hear?”
“Well, I came in around blackmail. What the fuck is going on Ackles?” Jensen explained everything to him. Jared stood there in shock. “That’s pretty much the same look (y/n) had on her face too.”
“So, when you two told me you ended it because you were better as friends...”
“Yes Jared. We lied to you. Hell, we lied to everyone. I didn’t want to be painted fuckboy Ackles, and she didn’t want everyone feeling sorry for her. So, we lied.” He said again. “I’m sorry Jared.”
Jared took a second to process everything. “We tell each other everything. Why did you feel like you couldn’t tell me this?”
“I. I don’t know man. I think I was just too ashamed. I didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Where and when did this happen?”
“You remember that party we went to right before the hiatus between season 7 and 8?”
“Yeah… That was 2012, right?” Jared asked, trying to remember.
Jensen nodded. “(y/n) had to leave early because the wreck, remember?”
“That’s right. But to be honest I was really drunk, and it was a long time ago.” Jared shook his head. “What I don’t get Jay. You were going to ask her to marry you the next day. I went with you to buy the ring. I don’t see you throwing away everything you guys had drunk or not.”
“Jared, I don’t remember anything from that night. I remember dropping off at the airport. Next thing I know is I’m waking up in a stranger’s bed naked.
“You don’t remember it at all?”
“Nope.” Jensen gestured for them to go inside. “I tried Jared. I tried to find her during hiatus. She wouldn’t return my phone calls. No one would tell me where she was. Then Kelsey called me telling me she was pregnant and started with the blackmail.
“Dude again why didn’t you tell me?”
Jensen sighed. “I didn’t want her to have any more power than she already had. If she knew that you knew she could use me to get you to do whatever she wanted.”
“How did she do it? Like what did she threaten you with?” Jared asked as they made their way to the elevator
“Media mainly. Before she lost the baby, she threatened to go to everyone and anyone that would listen about how I knocked her up and left her and the baby. Then after, I’d be the asshole that left the mother after just losing the baby. I was young and just starting out. I believed everything she said. You know how one dumb rumor can ruin someone’s life or career. I just wish I would of went to my dad sooner.”
“I wish you would have told me, but I understand why you felt like you couldn’t. I’m sorry I should have known something was wrong.” He hit the call button
“J.P Don’t do that; you have nothing to be sorry for. You wouldn’t of had a reason to doubt anything, from what I hear I’m a pretty good actor.” He smiled. Jared let out a soft chuckle “besides we can’t change the past. We can only learn from it, move on, and try to repair the damage.”
“Yea... At least she knows the truth now. Maybe you guys could get back”
“I’m not.”
“Jensen. I was going to say get back to being friends.
“I don’t know Jared she’s pretty hurt and didn’t say much even after I told her.”
“Give her time to process everything. You might be surprised.” The doors opened and they walked through, hitting the button with their floor number.
“I’m not getting my hopes up.” Just then Jensen’s phone went off. It was a text from a number he didn’t recognize. He raised his eyebrows as he read.
“What?!” Jared asked.
“Jensen don’t call Eric. Just think about it.”
“Well told ya you might be surprised.”
Reader’s P.o.V
You woke to a knock on your hotel door. “Go away!” you yelled.
“I have coffee.” You heard someone yell back.
“Ok hold on.” You rubbed your temples trying to get the slight headache to stop as you sat up. You got up and looked in the mirror. You quickly ran a brush through your hair and splashed some cold water on your puffy eyes.
There was another knock. “Come on, it’s getting cold.”
“Keep your panties on.” you yelled as you walked to the door. “Lily? What are you doing here? How’s your dad?” you opened the door wider and stepped out of the way.
“My dad is fine. Just a broken wrist.” She handed you a cup of coffee stepping through the doorway. You closed the door behind her. “The truck not so much, but it could have been way worse.”
“Well, that’s good. But what are you doing here?”
“Rescuing you.” she said sitting down on the sofa.
“For real?”
“Yep, you’re off the hook babes. You can go home.” She looked up from her coffee. “What’s that look?”
“What look?”
“That look. He got to you.”
“Lily. It’s not like that.”
“Ugh I knew you coming here was a bad idea. I swear I’m to kick.”
“Lil. I have to tell you something.” You sat beside her and told her everything.
“Oh my god.”
“I know”
“Oh my god!”
“Can you say anything else?”
“So, he didn’t love her.”
“Apparently not.”
“I thought something felt off, but I just thought it was the energy from whatever happened between you two.”
“Lily you’re not psychic”
“But I am psychic adjacent.”
You rolled your eyes. “That’s not a thing.”
“Wait. Not trying to be a Debbie downer here, but how do you know he wasn’t lying?”
“He wasn’t lying.” you assured her.
“How do.”
“Because I know Lil.” She looked at you. “Trust me I know.”
“Oh my god. So does this mean y’all are gonna get back together?”
You sighed. “Lily, I can’t.” she gave you a puzzled look. “don’t look at me like that you know why.”
“Right.” She took a drink of her coffee
“You still love him...”
“Doesn’t matter.”
Jensen’s P.o.V
As he waited to go through the curtain for the morning gold panel, he couldn’t help but wonder if she would be sitting in her seat. He smiled at the thought.
“You ready man?” Jared asked. He nodded. “Let’s go.”
They walked out on-stage waving and blowing kisses at the crowd. His eyes glanced down hoping to see her face. Nope damnit. The women sitting her sitting in (y/n)’s seat waved. He furrowed his brows but waved back. What the hell was Lily doing here. Did (y/n) leave?
“Jensen you ready for questions?”
“Yes, sorry. Need more coffee.” He said the cup in his hand with a smile, the audience laughed. “Alright, your blue hoodie.”
. She left and the only relationship you would have at this point would be professional. Come on Jensen head in the panel he thought
“Jensen? You ok man? “Jared asked nudging his arm
“Yep. What was the question?”
Jared repeated it to him, and he did his best to answer it. As the minutes ticked by and the questions kept coming, he tried his best to stay focused. He managed it for most of the panel except when Jared got a question and his mind started to wander, but Jared knew what was going on, so he tried to keep Jensen engaged in conversation with his answers.
“Alright. Thank you, guys. We love you all. Take care.” They walked to the opening of the curtain. “Ok how bad was it?”
“The beginning was rocky, after you got out of your head it was bad at all.” Jared promised him. “You gonna be, ok?”
“Gonna have to be.”
Jared sighed. “Is there anything I can do?”
Jensen smiled. “Unless you got a Jennie, not really”
“So, you boys have some time before your meet and greet. Y’all hungry?”
His whole body froze. She didn’t leave.
Reader’s P.o.V
Jared spun around, “(y/n) we thought you left.”
You took a step back and raised your hands. “Do not pick me up Padalecki!”
He laughed. Jensen finally turned around.
Jared could feel the tension between the two of you. “let’s go get some grub.” He turned around and started walking. You and Jensen followed.
You and Jensen followed in awkward silence.
“So have you thought about the part?” you asked Jensen
“Yea. I think it would be fun. He is a complete dickhead though.”
“Oh, a total scumbag, but.”
“You’re really going to defend him?”
“I agreed with you.”
“With a but.”
“Ben is the character you love to hate. You know he’s fucked up and yet you find your self hoping he will do the right thing. Who knows maybe this whole asshole thing is just a front.” Jensen raised his eyebrows at you. “The guy has ptsd, been tortured by the Russians for years, screwed over and used by Vought, screwed over by his own team and the woman that supposed loved him. I think if we got the right guy to play him, he could be a real fan favorite” You nudged into him.
“Why do you have such a hard on for this character?” he asked as he opened the green room door for you.
You took a step, then turned to him “I guess I just have a thing for assholes.” You teased.
Jensen’s jaw dropped. “Wow! That was a cheap shot.”
You walked to the fridge and pulled out 2 bottles of water, tossing one at Jensen. He caught it and took a drink.
“Plus, you’d look good super suit, Ackles.” You said laughing as you sat on the couch.
He chuckled and sat beside you laying his arm across the back of the couch behind you.
You heard the door open and looked up when you heard your nickname. “Babes! You’re still here?!” Misha sat down on the other side of you. “And still wearing that Cowboys hat I see.” He flicked the bill of your baseball cap.
“Be careful Collins. If you hurt this hat I will hurt, you.” You pulled the bill back down and stroked it. “And yes, every game day.”
“Is that the one you stole?” Jensen chimed it.
“I did not steal it.”
“Yes, you did. You came to grab me for a scene.” He winked at you “You asked to borrow it because you didn’t have a scrunchy.”
“I’m still borrowing it.”
“10 years later?” Jensen raised his eyebrows.
“Yep.”
He smiled and shook his head.
Before you could stop it, the memory was already replaying in your head.
Year 2008:
“We gotta get back babe, Sgriccia said 25 minutes.”
“I don’t want to.” You protested.
“Trust me. I’d rather lay here with you like this.” He lifted the sheet for a peek “Come on just a couple of scenes and we will be right back here. Exactly like this.” He waggled his eyebrows making you smile.
“Promise?”
He smiled. “I promise.” He kissed you. He got up and picked your clothes up and laid them on the bed.
You got dressed and looked in the mirror. Your hair was a wreck. “Can I borrow a hat?”
“A hat?”
“Yes, someone made my hair all messy.” You pointed at him and mouthed the word you, making him laugh. “I don’t have a brush or scrunchy to fix it and I know your ass has a million hats around here.” He handed you his new Dallas cowboy’s hat. “Thank ya love.” He nodded with a smile.
“You ready?” he asked holding out your coat for you.
“Yep.” You put your arms in and turned to face him. He gave you one more kiss. “I love you, Ross.”
“I love you too baby.”
Jensen cleared his throat bringing you back. You looked at him, his eyes told you he was reminiscing as well. You shot up off the couch and awkwardly walked over to the fridge. You opened it and pretended to look for something.
“Look who I found.” Abby said walking through the door with Lily following her. “Did we plan a reunion this weekend?”
You smiled. “Don’t even try to pretend like you don’t love seeing our faces, Abigail.” She narrowed her eyes as you said her full name. you blew her a kiss with a dramatic mwah sound.
“Hey, are you guys going to Rob’s thing tonight?” Jared asked you walk
“What thing?”
“I guess Louden Swain is having a pop-up at the bar across the street tonight.”
“I don’t know.” You looked over to Lily who was attempting puppy dog eyes with her bottom lip pouted. You sighed. “You guys and you’re damn puppy eyes.”
Lily’s face perked up. “Is that a, yes?”;
“Yes.” You said walking toward the door “Come on boys. Meet and greet time. Jensen and Jared followed you. “You too Lily?” you held your elbow out to her. She linked her arm in yours and you walked out the door.
You watch Jensen and Jared interact with their fans with a smile on your face. You felt someone nudge your arm. “Hey there.” Osric said.
You smiled at him “What’s up Oz?”
“Nothin. Hanging out.
“Sounds fun.”
You look back at Jensen. He was watching you. His face was hard, and his brows scrunched together. You raised your hands and eyebrows in a what gesture.
“He’s jealous.” Osric said.
“Oh, shut up. He is not.”
“You want me to prove it?” you rolled your eyes and Osric put his arm around you. You watched Jensen’s jaw clenched and his nostrils flared.
“Don’t piss him off. You shook off Osric’s arm. “But why would he be jealous of you?”
“He knows I had a thing for you back in the day.”
“Speaking of things from back in the day.” You nodded your head towards Lily who was walking up carrying 2 carriers full of coffee cups. Osric smiled.
She sat down the 2 cup carriers she had in her arms and pulled out your coffee. “Here you go.” She said holding it out to you.
“Lily you could ask for help ya know.”
“Eh I’m used to it, Oh, hey Osric. How are you?”
“I’m good. How are you?”
“Good, good.” The awkward tension made you cringe. He said, “Here, let me help you” he picked up one of the carriers.
“See ya around Babes.” He winked at you, and you nodded as they walked away.
Jensen’s face relaxed and you shook your head at him. His attention went back to his face, and you couldn’t help but smile as you watched. He was so good to his fans. He smiled at you and your heart fluttered. Man, why did he have to go and fuck everything up? You stood there pondering how much different you life would be with him.
“So, can I ask how the whole babe/babes thing started?” An unfamiliar voice made you jump. You looked over to find Alexander standing next to you.
“Really?! Nobody’s told you the story?”
“No. Everyone just says that’s what we’ve always called her.”
“Hmm. Ok. So back in season 3 Jensen and I started dating, everyone kind of new, but nobody really pressed us about it. We wanted to stay professional on set and around our co-workers. One day Jensen let babe slip out on set. Padalecki and Beaver started calling me babe to mock him and it just kind of stuck. Next thing you know everyone was doing it.”
“How long did you guys’ date?”
“Almost 4 years.”
“So, what happened?”
“We were just better off as friends. I guess,”
“I call bullshit.”
“Excuse me?”
“It seriously took you almost 4 years to realize you were better off as friends?”
“Babes.” Abby walked over to you “Can you take the boys out to lunch for me? I got something I have to take care of.” Abby grabbed you, you waved and Alex nodded as she drug you away.
“Am I gonna get paid for today?”
“Put it on my tab.” She smiled at you.
You made your way over to the table as the event ended. “Y’all hungry?”
“Starving.” Jensen said and Jared nodded.
“Well come on. We are going out for lunch.”
“Who’s we?” Jensen asked.
“You, Jared, Lily, and me?”
“Ok I’ll go.”
“I mean if you don’t want to.”
“It’s not that. I just don’t wanna be the third wheel to you and Osric.”
“Really Jensen?”
“Well, you looked pretty cozy a minute ago.”
You rolled your eyes. You motioned Lily and started walking toward the elevators. She met you on your way. “You, ok?”
“Jensen being Jensen.” you looked over your shoulder, the boys were a way back but following.
“So, Lily, You’re a cast p.a now?” Jared said trying to relieve the awkward tension in the air that lingered around the table.
“Yeah, It’s a lot of fun. So much better than a grip assistant.”
“You gonna follow in (y/n)’s footsteps and become a writer?”
You smiled at her. “No. I could never. I really don’t know how she does it. It’s amazing. I wish you could read her work right now. What she did with Soldier Boy was awesome.”
Jensen’s eyes snapped up to you and your smile faded. “You wrote Soldier Boy?” he asked.
“I helped develop him for television.” His green eyes leered at you. “I did not create him myself.”
“Helped?” Lily continued “Eric loved everything you suggested for him. She made him so good. He’s a dick, but you got to love him.”
You sighed and went back to your plate. “Hey Eric.” Your eyebrows raised when you heard Jensen say Eric’s name. “I’m good bud. How are you?” He laughed. You looked back up at him. Shit he was probably going to say no. You didn’t think Eric would fire you over it, but it wasn’t out of the question. “Well, you know I had to get woo-ed first.” He laughed again. “Yeah, she is good at getting what she wants huh.” More laughter. “Yes sir. Write me up a contract. Me and Frank will meet up with y’all” He listened. “Alright man I’ll talk to you later… bye” he hung up and put his phone back in his pocket. Your phone buzzed. You looked it and read the message.
Eric: Thank you!
You smiled as you turned the screen off and put your phone back on the table. The waitress came back over “Can I get you guys anything else?” she batted her eyes at Jensen, he flashed a smile at her. “No darlin’ just the check.” You rolled your eyes as he winked at you.
You stepped up to the elevator’s call button and pressed it. Jared and Jensen walked up as you waited. Jensen stood beside so close your arms were touching. The doors open and you start to walk but Jensen stopped you. “We’ll meet y’all up there. I have to talk to (y/n).” Lily looked at you and you nodded. The doors shut.
“What?” You asked but he stayed silent and then pressed the call button once Jared and Lily started going up. “’Jensen. What do you want?”
The second set of doors opened, and He gestured you to go first. You got in and leaned against the back wall.
“Ya know babes, You’re pretty cute when you’re jealous.” He pushed the button for your floor and turned around.
“What?”
“The waitress at lunch. I noticed your eye rolls and dirty looks.”
You sighed. “Have you ever heard the story about the kettle and pot?”
He gave you a flirty smile. “So, what if I was?” He closed the space between you and slid his hands on your face, bringing his lips just inches away from yours. His eyes searching yours for a refusal, but you didn’t give one. His lips captured yours in a passionate kiss. Electricity coursed through your veins. Before you could stop them, your arms wrapped around his neck deepen the kiss further. His arms found their way around your waist pulling you into him. The elevator dinged and reality set back in ending the kiss. He rested his forehead on yours.
“Jensen.” you whimpered between pants.
“Please don’t ruin this.”
“I’m sorry I can’t do this.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t.”
“Just tell me why and it will never come up again.
“I’m getting married.
“Bullshit. Padalecki would have told me.” He tilted his head to kiss you again
You pulled back. “Jared doesn’t know.” His eyes shot open.
“When?”
“5 weeks.”
“You’re getting married in 5 weeks and you didn’t invite Jared?” He asked, bringing his forehead back down to yours.
“Family only. You know I never wanted a big wedding.”
His face scrunched in pain. “Do you still love me?”
“Jensen...” you blinked back tears.
Your breath hitched as his hands smacked his palms against the wall. “Just answer the question!” He demanded.
You couldn’t stop the tears any longer. You nudged him. He didn’t move. “Jensen Please.”
He stepped out of the way, and you walked off the elevator. Your phone started to ring on the way back to your room. Your phone started to ring. Fucking fantastic you thought as you saw the name.
“Hey,” your voice cracked as you answered your phone.
“What’s wrong?” Brett asked.
“Nothing.”
“Eric just told me the news.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Congrats. I didn’t think you’d be able to actually pull it off babe.”
You hmphed. “Well thanks.”
“Don’t take it like that. Hey gotta go Angela needs me.”
“Oh of course.” The tears started again.
“Don’t be like that. She’s, my boss.”
“And she totally has a thing for you.”
“You’re Being crazy.”
“Yep. I’m the problem.”
“Seriously? I gotta go. Can we finish this later?”
“Yep.” You hung up
“Hey, what happened?” Lily asked as you opened the door.
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” You threw his hat on your bed and headed for the bathroom.
Jensen’s P.o.V.
“The answer was always going to be yes, J.p” he said as they walked off the elevator. “I just wanted more time with her.” “And did it help?” “Kind of yea.” Jared rolled his eyes. “I guess in a fucked-up way. At least the truth is out now. Maybe y’all can work on being friends now.” “I don’t think it will ever be the way it was. He said as they started across the street. “Well maybe you should try to find a new way to be friends with her.” They walked through the doors and the bar was packed. “I gotta pee. I’ll be right back.” Jensen pointed at the bar and Jared nodded. Jensen’s eyes scanned the room for her, but she was nowhere to be found. “She’s not here yet.” He sat down on the barstool next to Ruthie. “But she told me she was coming and she’s not one to break her word.” She took a drink. “You guys ok now?” “Honestly Ruthie. I have no idea. I did something stupid.” “Well, that doesn’t surprise me.” she teased. “Oh, gee thanks.” He smiled. “I was being malicious dear, just trying to say you do dumb shit when you’re in love.” “Do you know?” Ruthie’s eyebrows creased, “In 5 weeks.” “Yes, I know.” She sighed. “He’s an arsehole. I wish she would see it.” “Really?” “I shouldn’t be telling you this.” She took another drink. “We’ll blame it on the whiskey.” She winked at him. “I know you would treat her a million times better. Hell, she probably knows it. She’s just letting the past scare her.” He opened his mouth, but she put her hand up. “I know Jensen. But you will have o prove it to her.” He nodded. Jared walked back up and their phones went off at the same time “The cowboys won!!” Jared yelled, turning around. And leaning his back on the bar. “Finally stopped that losing streak.” Jensen said as they bumped fists. “You want a beer?” Jared nodded. Jensen go the bartender’s attention “3 Coronas Please.” Jared gave him a puzzled look. “She’ll be here.” The bartender sat down the beers and Jensen handed him his card. “Start a tab.” The bartender nodded. “Thank you.” “Dude.” “You can send me your half later.” “There she is.” Jared yelled and Jensen turned around on the stool. Damn she looked good. Tight jeans, white tee, He smiled when he saw she still had his hat on, but even with the makeup he could tell she’d been crying. “How bout dem boys? Huh?” She smiled. “What are we drinking?” “Whatever you want princess.” Jared teased. “Tequila.” She turned around. “Bri. Come do a shot with me.” “Hell yea.” “Ruthie. You want one?” “Not tonight boys. We have an early flight tomorrow.” She told them. “I’ll take Ruthie’s” (y/n) said. “I’ll do a second one with her.” Bri said Jensen raised his eyebrows. “You’re gettin drink tonight huh?” “I’m having fun tonight.” She smiled again “Alright.” Jared counted. “6 shots of tequila please.” The bartender brought over the shots with lime slices and a saltshaker. Jared picked up the saltshaker “Hands.” Jared said and licked his own hand. The three of them licked between their thumb and index finger, then held them up to Jared. He poured salt where they licked. “Limes” he said as he handed them each a lime. “Shots.” He handed each of them a glass and brought his into the center of them. They clinked their shot glasses together as they licked the salt and then took the shot. “Ready for another one?” Bri asked you “Yes ma’am.” Jared held out the saltshaker and the girls repeated the process. Jensen couldn’t help but smile at the face she made when she took the lime out of her mouth. “Still not a fan of limes I see.” “No not really.” She confirmed. “I gotta pee.” Bri grabbed (y/n)’s hand and drug her to the bathroom. Jared turned to Jensen. “She’s been crying.” “I know Jared.” Jensen cleared his throat. “My fault.” “Maybe we should just lock you two in a room and let you scream it out.” Jensen chuckled. “Keep buying Tequila shots and it will probably happen.” “I don’t know Ackles. She’s the happiest drunk I’ve ever seen. Might make the situation better.” Jared smiled deviously. “Well judging by that smile, I guess we will find out.”
Reader’s P.o.V
“Ok spill.” Bri said as the bathroom door shut.
“What?”
She tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “the way you guys are looking at each other, ya know like you used to.”
“Bri. I’m supposed to be getting married in 5 weeks.”
“What?! You and Jensen. Oh my god final.”
“No not Jensen. His name is Brett. He works with me on the boys.”
“Oh. Why the supposed to be.”
“I don't know.” You told her about the conversation you had earlier today and the big fight you had before you came out. “When I told him I was going out with my supernatural friends, he lost his shit.”
“If he doesn’t make you happy. You need to call it off.”
“But everything has already been paid for and its not bad all the time.”
“Do you really want to get married because everything has been paid for?”
“You have a point.”
“Look just have fun with us tonight. Really let your hair down. You deserve fun. Tomorrow go home and hash it out with him. If you guys can’t come to an understanding, I’d say kick him to the curb. Deal?”
“Deal. Now go pee so we can go back to drinking.” She chuckled with you.
“Another round of shots?” Jared asked as you walked up to them.
“Maybe we should slow down a bit J.p.” Jensen suggested.
“Aw what’s wrong cowboy? Can’t handle your liquor anymore.”
He raised his eyebrow and gestured for another round. “Add another one.” Jensen told Jared as Lily walked up.
“Lily!!” You and Bri yelled together.
She smiled. “Really boys? I leave her alone with you for 5 minutes and she’s taking tequila shots?”
“I am a grown up. and I’ve only had 2.
“Bout to be 3.” Jared said turning around with the saltshaker. “Hands.”
“Can we get a lemon slice please?” Jensen asked the bartender. He sat the shots down and got in the fridge.
“Thank you.” You smiled.
The 5 of you repeated the took the shots and slammed the glasses on the bar.
“Bri!” you heard someone yell.
“I’ll be back.” Bri said and walked away.
You sat the deflated lemon slice on the counter. Leaning on the bar closer to him than you probably should have. “Is this for me?” You asked, pointing to the extra beer sitting by Jensen’s.
“Yep.” He said and picked his up.
“Well thank you.”
“No problem princess.” He teased and you squinted at him.
“How much time before they come on?” Lily asked.
Jared looked at his watch. “About 45 minutes.”
“(y/n), let’s go play a song” Lily said pointing at the fancy jukebox. You grabbed your beer and followed her.
“Really babe, Tequila shots?” she questioned you.
“Yes, Tequila shots. Lily, I have had a rough week. I want to have a fun night with my friends. So quit being a buzzkill and have fun with me, please.”
“Alright.” She walked up to the bar. You started scrolling through the songs. Lily came back over holding 2 shots. Your jaw dropped. “Let’s have fun then.” You clicked the glasses and took the shot. You turned back to the jukebox as she took your glass and returned it back to the bar.
“Yes!” you slid your card and tapped the song you wanted. You looked over at Jensen who smiled as soon as the music started. “His eyes are cold and rest” You sang “And his wounds have almost healed.” His smile got bigger.
“And she’d give half of Texas, just to change the way he feels.” Jared belted out making you laugh.
“She knows his loves in Tulsa.” You yelled back at him. Making your way back over to the boys.
“And she knows he’s gonna go.” Jared said turning to you
“But it ain’t no women flesh and blood, it’s that damned old rodeo.” You and Jared sang loudly. Everybody laughed.
You turned to Jensen who was shaking his head. “What’s wrong Ackles, did you forget the words?” you teased him.
“No, just not 4 shots deep yet, darlin.”
“4?”
“Her and Lily snuck one without us.”
Jared shook his head at you.
You smiled. “Better catch up Padalecki.”
He looked over to Jensen. “2 more Jay.?”
“Come on Ross. Live a little.” You gave him a cheeky grin.
He chuckled “Alright let’s go.” He got the bartender’s attention and held up 4 fingers.
“Hello?” lily answered her phone. “Yes, Brett she’s right here hold on.” You rolled your eyes as she held her phone out to you.
You took it and put it to your ear. “Hey. Hold on.” You turned and walked toward the door.
Jensen’s P.o.V
“Who’s Brett?” Jared asked as he and Jensen sat their empty glasses down. Thank you for asking Jared. Jensen thought to himself.
“Another writer on the show.” Lily said as she stepped up to the bar and ordered a drink.
“Why is he calling your phone looking for (y/n)?” Jared asked clinking glasses with Jensen before they took the second shot.
“He asked if she was ok. She wasn’t answering her phone. She probably forgot it and didn’t want to go back up.”
“My tab.” Jensen told the bartender as he took Lily’s drink and held it out to her.
“Thanks Jay.” She said as she took it from him.
“No problem.” He grabbed his beer.
“Come on Ackles. Let’s go play some music.”
Jensen nodded and followed Jared over to the jukebox.
“Did she mention this Brett guy to you?” he asked Jared as he slid his card in the card reader. He picked a song “You’re up.”
“No. Why would she?” Jared asked searching for the song he wanted. “Now You.” They switched spots.
“I don’t know. It just seems odd.” He searched for her favorite. Jared rolled his eyes.
“You’re over thinking it. you need to get out of that jealous ex-boyfriend headspace bro.”
“I know its just hard with her.” He makes the final choice. “Done.”
“Jared!!” Mark yelled from one of the tables.
“I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be at the bar.”
Jensen started back to his seat to find (y/n) sitting in it. “I think you’re in my seat little lady.”
She spun around to face him. “Well, ya know what they say about moving your feet.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You’re lucky.” He stood beside her leaning on the bar.
She smiled. “Or you’re just yellow bellied.”
He laughed. “I’d watch that mouth.”
“Oh, or what?”
“You really don’t wanna go there.”
She giggled. “So tough.” He smirked and shook his head.
He leaned against the bar and took a drink of his beer. “So, is everything alright? Lily said that Brett guy was worried about you.”
“What did she tell you?”
“Just that he’s another write for The Boys, you weren’t answering your phone, so he got worried and called Lily’s phone. Where is Lily anyway?”
“Bathroom.” She took a drink. “Everything is fine.”
“You know I know when you’re lying right?” Jensen asked and took a drink of his beer.
“I’m not lying we got into an argument, but everything is fine now.”
“An argument about what?” She stayed silent. “Ohh that’s him. huh. The guy you are supposed to marry?”
“Yea.” She sighed. “Can we not talk about it?”
“Thought we were trying this whole friend thing out?”
“So be my friend and drink with me. I wanna have fun. Make me forget my problems.”
“They’ll still be there in the morning.”
“Then I’ll deal with them then.” She took the last drink of her beer. “Or I can just got get Bri.” She got the bartender’s attention and pointed at her beer.
“Another for you sir?” the bartender asked as he sat down (y/n)’s beer.
“Yes, please and 2 more shots.” She smiled.
“Oh of course you’d play this song.”
He smiled. “Mama told me, When I was young.” Her face lit up when he started singing, making his heart do a little flutter. "Come sit beside me, my only son, and listen closely to what I say, and if you do this it'll help you Some sunny day"
“Still got that pretty voice huh?”
“Guess so.”
The bartender sat the shots on the bar. “Uh what’s this?” Lily asked as she walked back up to you and Jensen. Jared was right behind her.
“Thought y’all were going do one without us?”
She looked at him and giggled.
“Add 2 more"
Reader’s P.o.V.
“Come on I wanna get a good spot.” Lily yelled.
Jensen grabbed your hand “follow me.” you grabbed Lily’s hand, and she grabbed Jared’s arm. Jensen led you guys almost to the front. You stood next to him looking down at his hand still holding yours. “Sorry.” He let it go.
You didn’t know if it was your feelings or the 6 shots of tequila you had, but you felt kind of disappointed. You shook it off. The band came out and the crowd went crazy. You couldn’t help but smile at Jensen as he cheered. Just as Rob started to sing some big muscle bond guy stepped in front of you. Blocking your view.
Then you felt his hands on your shoulders, pulling you in front of him so you could see. He dropped his hands, but you could feel him behind you. Lily came over wiggling her hips and singing along with the band. You downed the rest of your beer and started to do the same.
“Lily!!” you heard someone yell. You look over and Lily is dancing her way to Osric. You leaned back and found Jensen’s neck pulling his ear down to you. “Is your jealousy cured now?” you pointed over to them, they were dancing together now.
He brought his lips to your ear. “Almost.”
“What does that mean?”
"Still got one more to get rid of." He licked his lips keeping his bottom lip in his teeth.
Shit maybe the tequila was a bad idea. You couldn’t stop yourself. You had to fill his lips again. You pulled him down, smashing your lips together in needy desire. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist. Pulling you to him, you parted your lips and shivers ran up your spine when he slides his tongue on yours making you roll your hips. He let out a small growl and thrusted his hips. letting you feel his hardening shaft on your ass. Making you moan softly. He pulled back and spun you around. His hands found your ass and pulled you close again. And his lips were back on yours. Your arms slid around his neck. Pulling him into you just as hard as he was pulling you into him. He double tapped your right thigh, and you brought your knee up to his hip. Flames shot from your core as he hooked his hand under your ass and pushed his hardness into you. You trailed kisses up to her ear.
“You wanna get out of here Cowboy?
TAG LIST
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#jensen fucking ackles#jensen ackles#jensen ackles fanfic#jensen fanfic#spnfandom#jensen and jared#jared and jensen#jensen x reader#jensen x y/n#jensen x you#spn#female reader#x reader#reader insert#angst
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looking forward to and also dreading having an interview tomorrow. the plight of catboys is neverending.
#the bin#yeah im a catboy ive decided this just now. idk why it enevr occured to me before bc im a boy and i draw myslef as a cat a lot#but i was alwaysthinking of it as me as a cargirl. catboygirl#its mainly just that the interview is an hour after i finish work so ill have to figure out what to do in that time#usually i dontbget home till almost an hour after im done with qork but thats bc i spend time waiting for the bus and then being on it#i live only 10 minute drive away so its a lot of extra time. now i prob wont get home till after 5pm#but only have 2 days of work left at least#they hire ppl real easy apparently and sometimes on the spot similar to where i currently work. im just not sure if theyll give me#the amount im wanting. tbh if its even just $1 more i migjt still take it if it means not working at 7am bc i hate working so early
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monster boyz thoughts...
#ok so. basically i woke up thinking about teeth & how he would show his love for red#bc 1. he can't talk & so he can't outright say he loves him but also.#2. neither of them really understand love or that what they feel for each other is love yk#so i was thinking. teeth probably always leaves the actual act of killing their prey to red or#at the very least. makes sure red is watching when it dies bc he knows that's like... uh. he knows that's the ''important'' part to red#if that makes sense#also! i think the only reason teeth eats people is bc of red#if he hadn't met red i really don't think he would have survived all that long bc he's not particularly fast (bad leg)#& he's not particularly smart either. so he most likely would've gotten taken out by monster hunters if he was alone#though he is very strong so the hunters wouldn't have been left unscathed#& i think red wouldn't have survived all that long either bc he was never particularly careful about anything until he met teeth#he was doing increasingly risky & dangerous hunts bc he simply didn't care yk. but teeth gave him like. a reason to be careful & calculated#which just further proves they're bound by fate yk.#um. i also had some breakthroughs with teeth's origin story so. i maaaaayyyy work on those today. i might actually make red's finally#we'll see. i might end up drawing all day again. idk. n e way.#rainyrambles
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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This is a start, anyway. Lots of research and work ahead.
#still unsure what i can do when adhd brain doesnt let me do my hobbies in the little free time i have#but in the other hand if i can be sure that if i got a health insurance plan thru the ACA on the state market#that it would still cover me even if the ACA gets slashed - including thru the following enrollment period (that they wont be able to drop#me due to 'preexisting condition'. then i can leave my job and have a lot more time to be active and involved with this stuff.)#like I'm gonna do what i can anywY and I'm not gonna assume i cant do anything bc i have a strong motivation w this so adhd brain might be#chill w letting me do something#it feels like theres no time left tho but I'm trying to ignore that#but i just got my work schedule for Thanksgiving week and between the wk before and wk of I'm working 7 days straight. bc I'm dumb and#volunteered to be the one to work on Thanksgiving Day (why. bc i didnt want to make the 60+ yr old do 7+ days in a row or the 20-yr old.)#(shouldve asked if the kid was willing tho tbh. I'm gonna be burned tf out so badly.)#and i shouldve asked for the rest of the week off tbh but only got the 29th and 30th off. boo.#anyway abd then its december and we're gonna be busy busy with stupid Xmas stuff plants decor etc...#I'm just. worried I'll blink and itll be january.#but lets try lets do..something somehow#id like to find a way to squeeze the eye dr. vaccines. and dental extractions and healing time in before January#as well as getting involved in this stuff#and trying to overcome my intense social anxiety to do so#and looking into health insurance stuff#and RESTING too. need to do that. somehow.#but my whole November is booked now bc of work.#id love a 4 day workweek instead of 5 at least tbh but cant be floral specialist if I'm not full time amd cant stay on the insurance thru#work if I'm not fulltime either#and somehwere in the midst is...thanksgiving hah. and hanukkah which is Very important especially noe#now*#one story of hanukkah is of a small group fighting back against oppressors and succeeding#so.#idk where I'm going with this. but this day off is half over and.. i did this list thing yesterday actually but added to it today.#today ive also...devoured all current pages of a miraculous ladybug fancomic. put up one load of laundry. and opened the door#dor some fresh air and commection grounding etc..#i should call the eye dr guy so i can get a basic eye exam sooner than later and get new lenses ordered bc my glasses are at least 2 yrs ood
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God, this is fucking crazy
So i only have 3 more classes to take, but it'll cost the same to take 3 classes as 4 classes. So I've been thinking about taking a 4th class just for the hell of it. Something fun and/or easy.
Out of curiosity, I looked up orchestras. I was in it in my first year, but I haven't consistently played since 2016. But I still dream about being in an orchestra again. I *miss it*. So I was like. Well, what if *that* was my 4th class next semester? What If?
I looked it up. This week is the last week they're doing auditions for it. There was only one more spot free after today. And that's *tomorrow evening*.
I haven't really played my violin much in YEARS. I'm so out of practice. But apparently they don't reject anyone outright. Auditions are just for placement. So worst case scenario, I get placed in an orchestra at a lower skill level than I was at my prime. It'd still be an orchestra.
It's crazy short notice, but I don't think I'd forgive myself if I passed it up. Bc I have just one more semester before I graduate. One last opportunity to be in a school orchestra. And if I didn't do this, I'd be left with that What If forever.
So. Crazy short notice, but I have a violin audition tomorrow!!! Hahahaha
#speculation nation#im literally shaking with nerves rn but i want this so so so badly#i remember. how to play. my arms are just so much stiffer than they used to be. and my nails. man im gonna have to trim my fucking nails#at least my left hand. kinda sucks bc i like the polish i have on rn but u cant have any long nail at all for violin.#i need to play two scales of my choosing. ascending and descending in three octaves.#recommended for violin is A C or E-flat major. of course i know A and C but i'd have to look up E-flat. never did much with flats in school#then again i have that One Two Three and a Half rhythm Down. thats how id often warm myself up.#start with the base G string and just do a scale up and down (one octave). go up to the next note. do it again.#again and again until i started running out of room on the E string. & if i was Real motivated maybe id start shifting to continue.#so all id need to do is find the E flat and id be good. it all follows the same pattern.#the harder challenge will be the solo or etude. 2-3 minutes in length. only *one day* to prepare.#i have NO IDEA what id even play. i'll look in my old sheet music to see if theres anything that might work#simple enough for me to relearn on such short notice. and interesting enough to be played solo#(since i was always in orchestras it's not always the best for solo playing. tho i was also first violin section a lot#which is Basically the same as playing solo lmaooo)#if i cant find anything i do have a few sheet music books i could look in. id hate to play smth too simple#but better simple and Right than trying to do something above my current skill level.#which IRKS ME bc once upon a time i was the 4th best violinist in my high school. out of nearly 2k students.#but thats what happens when u go years without consistent practice :p ur arm gets Stiff.#im. still nervous but also thinking about the music is making me EXCITED.#it's going to be a wild time prepping for this thing but itll be over in like 5 mins and i dont even have to worry about Passing#so long as i *do it* i should get into something. i just need to push myself. do it. get out there. *play your violin*#i already cried in a public bathroom for 10 mins today and im feeling emotional Again.#not quite crying emotional tho thankfully. just. i feel like i need to climb onto a rooftop and SCREAM!!!! but like in a good way.#so so so nervous but itll be so so so worth it. i could be in an orchestra again. finally. finally finally finally.#and i STILL NEED TO FINISH THIS ASSIGNMENT.....!!!! hfkahfks today has been. a DAY.#just. keeps going through my head. i could be in an orchestra again. i could be in an orchestra again. at least one more time.
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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I actually realized i hate work. Won't be putting any effort into this anymore ♡
#sure whatever#it's funny because when i applied there i really really wanted this job#and it had nothing to do with that one person i got a little overly attached to#and when i started working there it was fine but i think really the only reason i liked it was because of that colleague#and now he's gone there's only annoying things left#also maybe i got too cuddled by him because he's always had my back until now#but i have to try to get things from the design team now and they just straight up ignore me lmao#like. my colleague asked me last week if i could ask them to edit some images which i did and they ignored me for 2 days#then HE sent them a follow up message and surprise surprise the images were there within 30 minutes#now again. he asked me to request some images and then built them into the journal#i request them. i hear nothing back. i send a follow up saying it's kinda important. i get nothing#oh well sorry man. guess you'll have to do that yourself after all (:#(i think it's really nice he's trying to give me so much more responsibility and all but if he's not there to back me up#it's literally not working because Everyone Is Ignoring Me :)))#also two weeks from now I'll be alone in our office because my other colleague who's in the same office as us#has announced she's gonna go share the office with someone else because she's gonna be alone otherwise#lol thanks#also some other shit someone posted in the group chat today which really pissed me off#AND the fact i got ignored AGAIN when i asked for work :) like bitches. i literally just watched netflix on my private laptop#while wiggling the mouse on my work laptop until i got off lmao#i won't go to the office tomorrow either#i was gonna go but i can't do shit there if i get ignored again#at least at home i can do whatever i want when they decide i should just get money for wasting my time ♡#i might actually just not work tomorrow#I'll probably log in just to see if there's any updates on the images situation but if not I'll fuck right off#fun times#(also maybe just maybe I'm generally a little negative these days. that may play into it. I'm sensing that sweet summertime blues ♡#((who cares if it's because of my father's death or because of my colleague's going away or because of general existential despair due to#university.... i'm just annoyed) )#void screams
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Nope, I'm still crying
#i wish literally anybody from school remembered me#literally only 2 people i was friends with hace talked to me in the past four years#i had the realization tonight that i was never given the choice to nurture most of my friendships#everytime i tried outside of school hours including trying to join clubs my mom would make me leave halfway through then lecture me#that she didn't have time to drive to town and get me#but as soon as my brother wanted to join junior air force she suddenly had all the time and energy in the world to devote to that#so what I'm getting here is that my friendships and interests weren't important enough or worth her time#i wasn't interested in Junior air force 1 cause it wasn't offered to me and 2 I'm not a boit licker#no#i was interested in the video game and board game clubs cause my friends were in them and they WANTED me to join#but after not getting to stay for more than one full session after a month i left the board game club cause it wasn't fair to the others#and i only went to the video game clu once and i don't remember much of it cause i was too anxious that she was gonna flip on me#i kept waiting for her text but instead she showed up at the classroom and made me leave#so when the same teacher that ran the board game club asked if i wanted to join the chess club cause he knew i liked chess#i told him i couldn't cause i was too busy because i didn't want to deal with begging my mom to let me join#she would have said yes but would have continued not letting me stay and being super passive aggressive#I'm not even in the year book for the year my friends graduated#the one thing she did let me do was drama and i hated every second of it. it was genuinely a bad experience for me#yeah i had friends in drama but it's not the same as hanging with my nerdy guy friends playing a star wars ttrpg#the worst part is she gets so defensive when i bring it up and won't give me a reason outside of 'I guess I'm just the worst parent'#it's in those moments i really remember she's the youngest in her family#OH!! it gets worse! she told me when i was younger that she had to be an honorary cheer leader cause HER MOM absolutely refused to#let her join cheer and she's alsways been bitter about it but then she turns around and did basically the same thing to me ffs#at least she was allowed to hang out with people after-school i wasn't allowed to do that either#no. instead i spent the hours after shcool alone most days and my weekends home alone in my room. and she wonders why my social skills are#maybe if I'd been allowed to work on my relationships outside of a classroom i wouldn't have felt so abandoned when everyone i knew#graduated without me. maybe if i didn't have to start back at square one socially again and had people to text and hang with after class#i wouldn't have dropped out. and i think only atlas knows i dropped out. idk how to text these people without spunding like I'm looking for#sympathy when they ask what I'm up to. like yeah I'm stuck at home with an anxiety disorder and unemployed trying to get on disability#prisma vents
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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 10: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression
(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)
Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should join the travelers on the larger river boat for a short lunch ...
~
"Before he even fully musters the courage to shout a 'hello', the large group on the boat initiates contact first, gleefully waving at him, whooping and shouting as they near his tiny raft in the water. Apparently, some of them were betting over whether they'd actually find any other travelers out on the river today.. He fumbles over his words a bit, as always, but somehow manages to successfully get himself invited onto their boat for a quick lunch..
After safely securing his raft to the side of the boat with some spare rope, he climbs aboard, stumbling into the excitement of some sort of celebration. A few of them explain that they're traveling for 'kahesallei', an old elven holiday recently re-popularized in some of the larger cities nearby. Whatever it's true meaning and origins used to be, the current significance (at least to those within the city walls) seems to just be mindless feasting, drinking, and gaudy decor. Most of the traveling group are strangers to each other, only brought together by catching a ride on the same tour/party boat, but the mood is light, quite friendly between them, and perhaps a bit drunk.
While the boat itself is relatively plain wood, it's been strewn with gold and orange banners, flags, shimmery tassels, beads, and bushels of dark green ivy braided with fresh herbs and wildflowers. There are flat round tables of food and drink, plenty of cushions to lounge on, and one random guy perched precariously on the edge railing of the boat, gently strumming a lute for background music..
The elderly ship captain hobbles over to The Adventurer, sternly explaining that, no matter what the 'silly' passengers say, he's only allowed to stay for an hour because he didn't pay for a boat ride ticket, and thus really shouldn't even be allowed on board. By the time The Adventurer has mentally processed this information, the captain has already returned to his little steering room, slamming the door shut with a displeased grunt.. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to confront him or question the rules...... But! Hey, at least he has one hour at the party.. How should he spend his time? "
~
Additional Information
the adventurer's current main goal: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has
#paventure posting#polls#poll#choose your own adventure#LATE AGAIn I know.. I'm still in my weird unproductive spell. literally I've had the same 5 to do list items on my list#for 2 weeks now. I can't even do five simple things in 2 weeks lol. I did start some new supplements and change my diet since#my doctors are still trying to sort out what health issues are going on or etc. so maybe it's something with that#like accidentally on the new diet I'm not getting enough calories or not getting enough of some vitamin or something so it's made me oddly#brain foggy and just really tired and unable to focus well for the past few weeks or something..? ANYWYA. not really sure what#it is specifically but my functioning in terms of actually focusing on and completing tasks has been a lot worse . thus#chronically behind on things. which I am always chronically behind on things in some sense since I always have like 7000 projects#I'm working on at the same exact time and etc. lol. but like.. even more chronically behind than usual .. ToT#ANYWAY.. I'm suprised that the 'try to get a ride on the boat' option didn't get that many votes actually lol#Like.. treveling down a river in a tiny handmade raft is probably.. not extremely safe or efficient lol#But at least he gets to have lunch there. Just the hour that he's on the boat doing whatever will get him a lot further because the boat#is moving faster than his raft would be. It should still get him out of the river and back on track sooner. Because he still has a long way#to go to get to the abandoned castle. I know it's been a lot of days since I'm not keeping up well with actually doing these#daily or every other day - but technically in the story it's only been a little over a day since he left the Inn#The first day he just walked. the second day he saw there was a barrier in his path. then spent half the day building a boat. and now he'e#*he's where he is now. The trip is roughly 4 days and he's like.. a little over halfway through his second. Not counting any detours or#distractions he might run into. But at least at this pace he should be off the river before it starts to get dark#Thate the main thing. you want to get a good rest on solid ground. ideally. So long as nothing strange happens on the boat#but yeah! day 10.. of little elf man adventure... ALSO he is like early 20s I imagine. so he can drink hbhjbjh#I know the 'very quick simple ms paint style' is kind of chibi-ish so it makes people look young but he's not a boy#don't worry. I didnt want it to seem weird like some 10 year old kid walking into a party of drunk 30 year olds#like a toddler hanging out in a night club or whatever. It's safe and okay for him to be there. just for the record. lol#I mean maybe not SAFE safe. it's still a boat of like.. rowdy party goers who could easily fall over the edge into the water or whatever bu#but like.. safe in the sense that he's not a 6 year old being offered vodka by strangers at a party. etc.#despite his goofy nervous demeanor and chronic baby face syndrome he is indeed an actual adult somehow ghbj
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jenny holzer inflammatory essays <3 i stood on the stairs and read every single one (there aren’t as many as it looks. each one is on here on about two columns, i think. still a long time to stand there) and i was in the way and people had to walk around me but i was like psssh this is an art gallery if they’re gonna display art here then i’m gonna look at it here. and then afterward i went up and stood by the barrier above the stairs and actually i could read the text reasonably well. so. maybe i did not in fact have to stand in everybody’s way. but whatever
#had fun at the gallery but it was also so so exhausting & also it was a nightmare getting home & now i’ve been home for close to 3 hours but#i’m still soooo tired#but i’ve showered!!#but like i only made it through one collection exhibit & one artist exhibit. or whatever they’re called#there are like. 4 of the first one and 2 of the second one. i think#that’s not even counting all the paid exhibits. here i was thinking i’d get through the free stuff & then see if i could get tickets to some#thing else if i had time & felt like it#i spent two hours in that one section.#and like it was nice i got to see everything in there but oh my god#and there’s TWO tate museums in london. i didn’t know this until this morning!#i was thinking oh maybe i get through the tate modern today & i hit the tate britain tomorrow. a nice weekend of art#no. literally no#god i need to be travelling i haven’t left london at ALL i’m running out of time! but also i want to do this!#i’ve been thinking i’ll do a single day in oxford at least#but if i can’t do the tate modern in a day how can i do a whole city in a day…#and i want to go to SCOTLAND. when will i go to scotland!!!#but i have 6 days of vacation i still need to use at some point. so maybe that’s what i’ll do with them#i also have one day scheduled only because i’m going somewhere the night before & don’t want to work the next day#so maybe i go back to the gallery that day….#post tag
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