#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with

[steviescrystals]

i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane

(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)

[riki-riks-chick]

Senior Year CH.1 ︱N.RK

riki x reader (high school au)

yn is having a hellish year, but one boy makes it all the more bearable.

cw: fluff! bullying, high school, yn plays handball, toxic parents, toxic home life, swearing, slight verbal abuse.

wdct: 1.8k

requested series!

to the person who requested, pls give me feedback on whether this is good or not bc I WILL rewrite b4 continuing to part two. tyy <3

chapter 2 - chapter 3 - chapter 4 - chapter 5

┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉

Third Person POV~

 "I'm actually quite shocked. You're doing exceedingly well.. I got a few emails from coaches who watched our last game.. If you're serious about handball when season starts, you might get a scholarship." Your coach explains, and you're genuinely shocked. Sure you'd been training your ass off, but no one usually acknowledges it.

"Really?.. A scholarship where?" You ask as she smiles, amused at your excitement. "The states... Some school in Virginia."  She explains as your eyes widen. "The states!? My mom would never let me go to the states."

"She's not in control of you once you graduate.. You're good.. Don't let her hold you back.. Now, go home after school and rest up.. We have practice tomorrow after school."

You leave, and rather than going home, you head to your job. Working at some burger shack that everyone at your school came to. It wasn't too bad, but you hated being noticed. 

And just to your dismay, these three cheerleaders, that love to make your life, hell walked in. 

You just happened to be the only employee on the register so you had no choice but to take their orders. 

And as you did so, begrudgingly, one of them spoke up. "Aren't you that loser from third period?.." 

You sigh, avoiding her gaze as you finish finalizing their order. "That'll be $23.45.." You ignore her remark, simply wanting to finish the order. She scoffs though, arms crossing tightly across her chest. "Are you not gonna answer me?... Fucking loser."

She pays for the order before walking over to some random seat to wait around for it, and you let out a sigh of relief. 

They've messed with you before, and you simply ignore it. It's better to take the shit than lose your job that you so desperately need, and worked hard to get.

You call the number for their order after a short while, giving them their drinks last as the tallest one of the girls scoffs. "This is the wrong drink." She then takes it out of the holder, throwing it at you, which results in you getting soaked in diet coke. It was, in fact, the right drink.

"What is wrong with you?" You try not to raise your voice, makeup and hair ruined, clothes soaked and sticking irritatingly against your skin, and she's just standing there with a smirk on her face. "You dumb bitch. Can't even get an order right." Just as you're about to retaliate, knowing that you didn't even make her order, someone grabs her wrist, tugging her away from the counter.

"That's enough.. Do you always go around giving people hell? At school, and now here..?" You glance up at the much taller figure gripping your offenders wrist, and you're slightly shocked at who it is.

It's the one boy that you've never heard speak in class, never seen him interact with other people despite his teammates on the basketball team. And yet he's popular.. Tall, handsome, and quiet. It's hard not to notice him.

When you finally snap back to reality, the three girls are storming out of the place and the boy is still standing in front of you, Nishimura Riki.

You've never imagined making eye contact with him, or speaking to him, but when his deep brown eyes meet yours, you immediately glance away, too flustered to continue looking him in the eyes.

He smiles gently, and there's a hint of pity in his eyes. "I'm sorry that happened.. Are you okay?..." His voice is slightly deep, and definitely nicely toned. You simply nod at his question, remembering that you're covered in soda.

"I'm fine.. I can take your order.." You try to deflect but he shakes his head. "No, let me take you home so you can change.. That can't be comfortable for you." 

His voice is very persuasive, and you decide not to argue, telling him to wait before walking into the kitchen to talk to your manager. 

"Mr. Rio...?" You inquire softly as the man glances up from his position at the grill, working on an order. "What happened?" He question, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

"Some girl threw her drink at me...." Your explanation leaves him to nod understandingly. "Just go home.. I'll handle everything until I can call another person here." 

You question whether he's sure or not before grabbing your stuff and rounding the counter. Riki grabs your stuff for you, carrying your book bag and your waterbottle as he gestures for you to follow him. You follow him towards his car and it's nice, a black mercedes. You're already regretting your decision to let him take you home.

"I can't get in your car like this.." You sigh as he shakes his head. "It's fine.. I'll clean of the seat afterwards.."

You refuse at his words. "No... I don't wanna cause you any trouble..." You argue as he rolls his eyes. "Fine then..." He get in the driver's seat, reaching into the duffle bag in the backseat as he pulls put a towel, putting it on the seat. "Come on. Now I won't even have to worry about cleaning the seat."

You sigh, still hesitant, but you still get into the car. He smiles once you're seated, leaning over the console to reach for your seatbelt, fastening it for you.

"So, where do you live..?" 

The car ride to your house is excruciatingly silent. You're awkward, and he doesn't know how to speak to you. It's just terrible.

"This is my house.." You speak up quietly as he stops the car. "Well.. I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow?.." He asks as you nod, unfastening your seat belt and scrambling to get out of the car. "What was your name again?..." He asks as you sigh nervously. "I'm Y/n... L/n Y/n..." You answer as he nods. "Nice. I'm Nishimura Riki.."

And like an idiot, you respond, "I know..." Riki chuckles, smiling. "Then you'll know we have class together.. Don't forget to say hi."

He then drives off, leaving you on the pavement dumbfounded. After a few minutes, you shake it off, heading inside as you take off your shoes. Just to your luck, your mom is on her way out. 

"What are you doing home?.." Your mom questions, brows furrowed inquisitively as she slid into her sneakers. 

"Some girl threw a drink at me at work, so my boss let me go home..." You explain as she scoffs. "You're so weak... Your sister would've kept working.. Learn to endure."

And then she leaves, grabbing her keys before slamming the front door behind her. You hear the lock click shortly after, letting out a sigh of relief.

You hated being compared to your sister. She graduated with honors, and you're barely keeping A's and B's... She's just better... And your mom is no help, constantly comparing you to her. It's definitely not fair because your sister is far from perfect, but you try not to let it haunt you.

The first thing you do is shower, the icky feeling of the soda making your clothes cling to you uncomfortably. After showering, you wash the clothes to avoid the soda staining them permanently. Once all of that is handled, you're rummaging through the kitchen for something decent to eat. In the end, you're settling for pizza rolls and some instant ramen. 

After eating the very random meal, you head upstairs to work on your homework, but to your luck, you left it in the cute boy's car. 

Great, another assignment to fail. You think to yourself as you open your laptop, ready to email your teacher in hopes they'll be understanding. Just as you're about to hit send, a notification sounds on your phone, the screen illuminating with a text from an unknown number. 

You open it, and to your luck its Riki. 

[Hey, it's Riki. I found your backpack in the backseat... I would bring it back, but I'm busy tonight.. Is it okay if I give it back tomorrow?] 

You sigh at the text, deciding to just forget the email and hope that homeroom gives you enough time to complete the homework.

[Yeah.. Tomorrow is fine... I need it during homeroom.]

[Great, I'll be there as soon as school starts.]

You thank him before setting your phone on the desk, sighing loudly. This day has been terrible, practice sucked, you got a drink thrown at you, and now your backpack is at some boy's house all because you accepted a ride home.

You just decide to push everything aside, getting in bed and watching random corny kdramas until you fall asleep.

It's rare that you ever get a good night's rest. If you hadn't left work early, you'd barely be home at 8pm... Luckily you got to sleep a little earlier, but just as quickly as you got lucky, you got unlucky.

You wake up to loud sounds coming from downstairs, and you're already aware of the familiar yelling voices. 

You leave your room, heading quietly down the stairs as you hear your parents yelling, something about money and your dad being irresponsible. 

You're used to the banter, and sometimes you just filter it out, but the sounds of broken glass was slightly alarming.

You peek into the kitchen, your parents are at each other's throats, and eventually your mom just yells for your dad to get out.

The man manages one last rude remark before leaving the house, the door slamming loudly behind him.

Just as your mom walks out of the kitchen, you try to ask if she's alright, she simply pushes past you, heading upstairs quietly.

Your sister still isn't home. God knows what she's out doing this time of night, but you're sure it isn't working.

Almost every last penny of your paycheck goes to your mom, and your sister's paycheck is never the same amount. You know for sure she's blowing it off selfishly, and your mom knows too, but she doesn't care.

One time you bought a new pair of shoes with your check since your family wasn't too far behind on bills, and boy you never heard the end of it. That's why you just give all the money you make to your mother.

And yet she still favorites your older sister. But you try your best to please her anyway. In the end you really don't have a way to impress her, unless you won the lottery maybe.. 

You genuinely just want a normal senior year, and at this point you'll do anything to get it.

[gem-de-lune]

Daily Vibe Check 10/30

All Members Incl.

As always, please take Tarot readings with a grain of salt.

Seunghan

Knave of Chalices + 8 of Chalices

As things amp up, he is feeling very emotional today again, today more so. I think he isn't with anyone else today and alone for much of the day. This creates a mood in which he must "deal with" himself. It is overbearing and confusing because he isn't sure where to even start with how he feels about everything. Though there are good things and opportunities coming, he is a bit afraid of opening that can of worms. Today, he is really contemplating what he wants to do at this point without outside interference, and it's a bit difficult and stressful.

Shotaro

6 of Swords + 6 of Wands

Shotaro is still in a very similar state as the last time we checked in on him, but he is in a better mood and less overwhelmed overall. Notice the 6s are consecutive, and so are Swords (ideas/plans) and Wands (actions). 6 is an earth number, specifically Virgo. He is setting up a routine right now. He is very physically active, could be working out or dancing a lot. Anything as a distraction from stressors. If he does have to face uncomfortable things, he dismisses them via humor and messing around. Very unserious. But it is working for him. He is fine and relatively in a good mood externally due to his efforts.

Sungchan

9 of Chalices + 2 of Chalices

Sungchan kind of sees everything as working out very soon. He is in a good mood. Even if he tried to not put all his eggs in one basket, it seems he is fully convinced of good things transpiring. Again, like last time, this could be that energy in which he needs himself to be the most positive one in the room if no one else will do the job, and feels responsible for setting that kind of moon himself. Even so these feelings aren't fake, they are kind and thoughtful. Also I think he went out drinking or will go drinking with members or other friends bc so many Chalices of wine here lol.

Eunseok

The Hermit + The Devil

Lol, what a diva?? He is very introspective today. This could mean many things, but immediately, what I am getting is a mental health day at home in pjs eating ice cream- and I'm pretty much sticking with that. Now, if he cannot do that, he is just really really in his head today. Thinking about his choices and what he could have done, thinking about how he may have overlooked things or bought into obvious lies before. It's not unhealthy, but it is borderline obsessive. He won't really be able to focus today unless he sits down, takes a break, and chillaxes.

Anton

2 of Pentacles + 5 of Pentacles

He is rather sad today. This is the first time I have seen this sort of pull from Anton. But I think thebweight of everything has really put his fire out, and he is now just sad and melancholy rather than spiteful. He is trying to pull himself out, knowing he has many things going for him. But it is like he keeps looking back at all the pain inflicted on others and can't seem to forget it emotionally. He will be just fine, but he may have lost his appetite today even if food was placed right in front of him.

Wonbin

The Empress + The Hyerophant

Wonbin is feeling so Hyung today? Lol both of these cards are pretty parental imo. Wonbin is usually pretty upright as well as simple. He always gives me simple cards and does not ever have much to say in these things. Very simply put he is feeling responsible for protecting someone or something. This is very strong energy and very direct energy directed at a small group of individuals or even one person in particular. He is giving lots of worldly advice today and coming off as an old wise sage.

Sohee

5 of Swords + 6 of Chalices

Sohee has always been fairly protective. He has a lot of fighting spirit today fueled by his love and memories for those he cares about. He is holding onto these feelings for dear life and to keep him going. I get the vibe he is very unconcerned with how he will be seen as of late, so I would not be shocked if he pulls something within the next 24-48 hrs just bc. Regardless, it seems he is ready today to jump into any ring for any reason pertaining to the fam, so no one should really be trying him today. He will rip them a new one.

[2kiran]

I read through your rules and i think my request should be fine but even so, please let me know if you don't wanna write it!

If you're still doing requests... can you write something for Price x male reader where Reader's a bit younger than him and he's never drank before ever. And he hides it to not seem like a loser or anything (lol) but when the team goes out drinking after a mission he gets served higher alcohol content bc they thought he'd be a heavy drinker?

No smut, just maybe hurt/comfort and fluff? Ignore this if you wouldn't like to <3

꒦⁺ DRUNK (NOT AGAIN) —— JOHN PRICE

modified 30.08.24 | HURT/COMFORT

content ˖ ࣪ ˖ affectionate price, male reader, may be read as platonic or romantic, reader is 2+ years younger, descriptions of injuries, mentioned violence, tf141 included, insecurity (love, towards r), drinking, tipsy reader, crying (r), kissing & hugging

The mission was successful. The medevac helicopter was arriving soon, allowing time for a small discussion. Only minutes prior, it was havoc, alerting all of you. The enemy had set a trap, causing a few fuck-ups on your side.

Soap clutched at his side with a cloth, “Aye cap, think we can go for some drinks ‘fter this?” He let out a pained grunt when he applied too much pressure.

Price sighed in response, opening a box in the deserted warehouse that had the necessary equipment for a few stitches. “As long as you don’t pass out right now.”

Gaz sent a wary glance at their way, dabbing a cotton that was soaked in antibiotic ointment on his slashes. Ghost, who stayed in his own corner, only had a few small cuts. Your own injuries were long forgotten as you registered their words.

The problem with their agreement was that you’ve never drank, not even one sip. Ever displaying a good image of yourself, you didn’t want to find out how you were when you’re drunk. Alcoholic beverages have never been one of your interests. Being aware of the fact that people who were younger than you spent their precious time clubbing and drinking away their problems without a care made it worse.

You didn’t want anyone to view you negatively for that, especially them. That included not telling a single soul and rejecting invitations to parties. You just didn’t want to be seen as a ‘kill joy’ when you tell them that you’ve never touched alcohol.

It also meant avoiding questions from drunkards and lying when they’re pestering you too much. The constant ‘what if’s of being just average ate away at your brain. You didn’t want your team to see you as a good-for-nothing loser that they could easily discard at any given time. Maybe if you left they—

“Hey.”

You didn’t respond.

“Hey.”

One, two, three, four seconds pass.

“Look at me.” You blinked.

Your vision refocused, blurry gaze dissipating. You had zoned out. Price stood in front of you, urging you to tilt your head to look up at him. The blinding lights hung on the ceiling, leaving prominent shadows across the room. The silhouette gracefully traced over his features.

The both of you were in the infirmary, all patched up and wounds cleaned. Left alone together, away from the others. “Sorry. You were saying?” You asked, embarrassed warmth spreading across your cheeks.

A ghost of a smile quirked from his cheeks, “Are you okay?” His voice was hoarse from exhaustion.

“Yeah, I’m good. Are you?” You slightly stumbled over your words as an ache from your side had you stilling. He nodded, eyes traveling over your form. His usual sharp eyes softened upon continuing his inspection of you as if you were made of extra fragile porcelain. The certain look in his eyes and how his attention lingers on you could be compared on how he stares at his precious hat for far too long.

“We’re going to a bar. You joining, love?” A tentative question, which makes you ponder on answering. You hum in agreement, not wanting to ruin the moment.

-

Maybe you should’ve rejected the offer like you always did.

The bar was dimly-lit, lights darting throughout the space, while slow, almost seductive music danced from the speakers. There were several people in the bar, including the bartenders. All harboring the same mysteriousness that you took for suspicion. It wasn’t quiet, booming laughter erupted from some, while the rest had their voice hushed in a whisper. Most of them were drunk, you noted.

“Finally.” Soap dramatically sighed, stretching his arms as he chooses a booth.

“It’s really been that long?” Gaz responded in a question to soap’s enthusiasm. Surprisingly, Ghost joined. He wasn’t going to drink for the sake of privacy, of course, the sergeants just managed to convince force him. The three sat close to each other while you and price were next to one another. It made you tingle in anticipation and fright.

A waiter approached, and they all responded with ‘something heavy’. You gulped nervously, telling the man the same thing.

Every minute that passed had you fidgeting, made you begin to bounce your leg up and down as you waited and waited and waited. You itched to tell them the truth, but you’ll only look like a coward. The others spoke about nonsense and such, while the captain’s attention was on you.

He was aware that something was wrong, but he couldn’t point his finger at what it could be. The impulsive side of his brain wanted to ask you directly, right here in front of the team. But he knew how closed off and irritable you could get in situations like these, so he rather keep his mouth shut.

The waiter arrived with your drinks on a tray, foam sizzling and a dented lemon on the rim of the glass. It whiffed of high worth, the house of the liquid appearing expensive itself. The stem was thinner than you originally thought it would be. It was appetizing, and you start to understand why people spend their time on drinking this. However, you’ve heard of people’s first times, most of them stating that it tasted bitter in the beginning.

The sergeants grabbed their drinks like starving animals, nearly spilling it on themselves. You examined their expression, their brows furrowed as they gulped down the first few sips before their face relaxed.

“Feeling drunk yet?” Soap questioned, gaze directed towards the captain. He began sipping away at his too, seemingly unbothered by all of the alcoholic content. He pulled away from his glass, “Could have this all day.”

“You gonna drink that?” His monotone voice suddenly placed its attention on you. Responding with a ‘right’ before gripping the glass, you copy the way they were holding it.

One taste couldn’t hurt, right?

Unknowingly, you did it a little too eagerly.

“Yeaaah! That’s the spirit.” Soap cheered on and Gaz let out a giggle at that. Ghost’s focus was on scanning the room for suspicious activity that could possibly harm all of you. Price thankfully wasn’t paying attention on you for once.

You could definitely get used to not having to tolerate him stupidly looking at you like you wronged him. They downed their drinks and you followed suit.

It was a rash decision, you soon learned, as your body began feeling warm. Even if it was the slightest of breathing, you could pick up on it. And is it just you or is the music a lot louder than before?

The reality crashed down on you, hitting you like a truck. You were always awfully attempting to please others, but you’ve never thought if that’s what you truly wanted. You feel like a loser. Drinking even though you knew you didn’t want to.

With you being painfully unaware in the state you were in, Price took notice in the change of behavior. Your eyes were watering and your lips were subtly trembling.

Everything felt too overwhelming, too loud, too bright. It was all too much for you. Barely mumbling a ‘I’m going to the restroom’ before you practically sprinted to the only place you could possibly find comfort. They didn’t seem to hear over their obnoxious argument about which weapon was superior and what sucked ass.

Price waited a few minutes, and then telling the group that he needed to use the toilet too. He noticed that you were stumbling in your footing, strange for someone who’s drank a lot more than this. You were only halfway through your drink before you seemed out of it. Maybe it was because of how long your missions lasted, making your tolerance become a little skimpy. It was even weirder to him how you left the door ajar.

Believing that you were alone, you couldn’t hold it in anymore. Your tears began streaming down your cheeks, lightly huffing in pained breaths. You despised this feeling.

Price carefully pushed the door open, exposing your vulnerability to your captain. Looking up at the mirror, you gasped. Quickly realizing your mistake in forgetting to lock the door, but it was too late.

“Love...” he began, eyes boring into yours in concern. Striding towards you, he hugged you from behind. A staring contest made from the mirror. “What’s wrong?”

You sniffed, trying to wipe away your tears but failing as more spilled, “I-I can’t—I’ve, I’ve never drank before and I-I wanted to impress you all.” He stopped himself from immediately speaking about how you would be always perfect despite something so little as not drinking, letting you continue, “I d-didn’t tell you be-because,” a hiccup, “I tho-thought you’d see me as a good-for-nothin’.” Sobs wrecked through your being shamefully as you slurred your words.

“Love.” He said firmly as you opened your mouth to apologize, preventing the words from escaping you. “The team and I would never belittle you.” He kisses your cheek, rubbing your sides to soothe you with his thumbs. “Nothin’ wrong with it, okay? It’s not your fault. Don’t apologize.” Another kiss, using his knuckle to wipe away stray tears, “don’t ever be afraid to speak up ‘bout somethin’ like this.”

You hiccuped more, guilt searing within. He doesn’t stop talking yet.

“Stop feeling guilty about it. There’s no shame in that, others who think otherwise are just little shits. You’re better than them.” He kissed your jaw, ever showering you with affection in any way he was able to. He grabbed your hand, holding it to intertwine his fingers with yours. He tilted his head back up to kiss the trail of wetness on your cheek, hushing your weak sobs gently.

“Let’s go order some food, yeah? And we should get some water too to help the tipsiness. Just let me know if you want to try drinking again so I can help you through it. C’mon, love.” A smile spreads across his lips when your eyes light up in appreciation. He was happy that he had you as much as you were happy to have him.

If soulmates existed, he was yours.

[icyminghao]

asking seventeen what they would do if you became a cockroach — maknae line ver.

pairing: seventeen (maknae line) x gn!reader genre: idk what this is honestly

inspired by going seventeen ep. 79: going vol. 2 #1

hyung line ver.

MINGHAO

will judge you

thinks its funny when he imagines it actually happening

will tease you a bit before answering

“What would you do if I became a cockroach?”

Minghao looks away from the book he’s reading to narrow his eyes at you. “Where is this coming from?”

“Just answer, Hao!” you whine, taking the book from his hands and setting it down on the coffee table after bookmarking the page he stopped at. Minghao smiles wryly.

“It depends. If you could hold a teacup and drink from it, I’ll keep you. Anything else and you’d be surviving on the streets by yourself, sorry.” Minghao answers in mock seriousness, and you pout.

“You’re so mean. When are you going back to meditating?”

MINGYU

literally cannot fathom the idea of you becoming a cockroach

it’s impossible, yes, but he literally doesn’t want you to become one

practically begs you not to, much to your confusion and amusement

“What would you do if I became a cockroach?” you raise your head from its spot on Mingyu’s shoulder, gauging his reaction.

“Please don’t become a cockroach,” he practically begs, as if it were possible for you to even become one.

“Mingu,” you giggle, rubbing his arm affectionately, “how the hell would I become a cockroach? I was just asking hypothetically.”

“Exactly, you won’t become a cockroach! So please don’t, you know I’m scared of them,” Mingyu whines like he isn’t at least ten times bigger than the little pest he’s talking about.

You smile in endearment. “Okay, baby, I won’t.”

SEOKMIN

he is terrified, to say the least

would rather die than entertain the idea of you actually becoming a cockroach, but is afraid of hurting you with the truth

goes for the next best thing, which is to evade your question 💀

“What would you do if I became a cockroach?” you look up at Seokmin from your resting position on his chest. You feel Seokmin stiffen.

“A… cockroach?” he replies, his voice a pitch higher than usual. You stifle a giggle.

“Yes, Minnie, a cockroach. Will you still let me lie on you like this,” you trace a finger on his chest to mimic a cockroach’s movements, slowly inching your way up to poke his cheek, “let me kiss y-”

Seokmin jolts in fear, letting out a scream. “Baby, you know I can’t stand cockroaches!”

“Even if it’s me?” you tease.

“You know I love you, right?”

SEUNGKWAN

is side-eyeing you for the entire duration of this conversation

he saw this trend on twitter ages ago

would probably turn the question around so you’re telling him what you would do if he became a cockroach instead

“What would you do if I became a cockroach?”

Seungkwan huffs in amusement, looking away from his phone to raise his eyebrows at you. “What would you do if I became a cockroach?”

You purse your lips together, having not expected him to turn the question around. Seungkwan sees you light up suddenly, as you move to sit beside him.

“We could be cockroaches together,” you giggle, “we would start a trend, become cockroach influencers, you’ll be such a icon!”

Seungkwan lets out a breathy chuckle. You’re his partner, all right.

VERNON

he’d literally be so confused bc that’s not possible??

you try to tell him that it’s just a hypothetical situation but he’s stuck questioning the realism of everything

nice try but he’s just way too clueless… better luck next time

“What would you do if I became a cockroach?”

Hansol furrows his brows together at your words, shooting you a very confused look. “Why would you become a cockroach?”

“I meant it hypothetically,” you whine, shaking his left arm. Hansol doesn’t seem convinced.

“How would you hypothetically become a cockroach? That doesn’t make sense, you’re a human.” Hansol raises an eyebrow, not understanding.

You sigh.

CHAN

poor baby probably thinks it’s one of those boyfriend tests

panicks a little before trying to formulate the textbook boyfriend answer (until you reassure him that you’re just being goofy and had no hidden intentions)

sweeps you off your feet with his answer nonetheless

“Chan, what would you do if I became a cockroach?”

Chan’s eyes widen as he scrambles to think on his feet. “Well, um…”

You can practically hear the gears turning in his head as he spirals.

“Chan!” you grab his hand to ground him. “I was asking for fun, silly.”

Chan releases a breath, leaning into you. “Oh.

Well, I’m afraid of cockroaches, but I guess I could try if it was you.”

a/n: i apologise to anyone out there with a phobia of those dreaded creatures (me) but i watched han and jihoon’s interaction in gose and just couldn’t help myself 😭

taglist (send an ask to be added!): @slytherinshua

masterlist

[cuteitgirlinspos]

౨ৎ How to romanticize this school year 🎀

I know school might be tiring , boring , or even scary , so here are some ways to romanticize this school year , next school year , and all the future school years to come

౨ৎ Stretch in the morning and drink water , usually when we wake up for school most of us don’t wanna get out of our bed and are extremely tired or drained out due to either waking up early or not getting enough sleep from last night 🎀 , so it is very important to stretch doing some poses you already know or watch videos on YouTube that are abt 5 - 10 mins depending on how much time u have , drinking water is also good for your skin and fastens your metabolism it will also hydrate you in the morning which can lessen how tired you were when you woke up . 🧚🏽‍♀️

౨ৎ sleep early , I know this might be very hard for some people because of the amount of things that they have to do , but you can limit the amount of time u take to do those things and take naps or sleep around 8 - 10 MAX , sleeping around these times are more healthy than sleeping around 12 pm or 3 am in the morning , your body needs the most rest it can get to keep it going 🎀

౨ৎ Please be yourself in school , many people tend to want to fit in and change themselves bc of what other people think , what their friend group says , or even how the internet influenced them to behave , you don’t have to change your behavior / personality just to fit in a group / area , real friends / loved ones will love you the way you are 💗🎀 .

౨ৎ Don’t disrespect teachers for no reason at all please 😭😭 , many teachers don’t get paid enough for dealing with kids all day long , make sure you’re being respectful to them and being nice / positive , one way you can do that is by simply greeting them good morning everyday or saying bye to them everyday .

౨ৎ PLEASE try on your grade , obsessing over your grade isn’t good either you don’t have to be sad / mad at yourself bc you didn’t get a 100% remember that everyone isn’t perfect , although you should try and bump your grades or try to be better at the subject you’re struggling with , when teachers notice you try your best in class they most likely bump your grade or try to give u extra credit even if you got a low grade . 🎀

౨ৎ Don’t start drama for no reason , trust me it’s not worth it ; you can get in trouble and that can be draining always try and be positive if someone else is being negative , rude , or annoying ; ignore them or don’t talk to them ; don’t try to engage with bad conversations with them to also get YOU in trouble , if you’re a good student and you barley get in trouble your teachers might let you go or not pay attention to it the first or 2nd time u get in trouble . 🤗

౨ৎ I can not stretch this enough , PLEASE organize your things , being organized can make school less stressful for you since you know where all your things are ! it’s much more easier than stressing when you need a notebook / paper / or an assignment and you can’t find it , an app that can help you be organized is notion ; using notion can track your to do’s like if you finished an assignment , need help with something , and be organized in general 🎀 .

౨ৎ Don’t be nasty , most people like me don’t like to hang around people who smell bad or do disgusting things , stick to a scent that smells good ; you don’t need a bunch of perfume sprayed all over you unless you have 2 or more perfumes mixed together that smells heavenly 😋 , PLEASE use deodorant and brush your teeth TWICE a day that way you can be clean and healthy , also take a shower everyday there’s no point of missing a shower be clean . 🎀

[wonuwrites]

ok so you know how in korea friend outings & dates usually consist of rounds, like dinner, then drinks, then taking a walk, then coffee, or whatever else? what do you think svt would do on dates early in the relationship? how many rounds (😏) would they go?

Why did i blush at the innuendo and want to do a MTL for it 😭😭😭 LMAO i got you you.

Warnings: Fluffy, humor(?), tbh idk. Not really read over.

p.s I haven't done this in a while so I'm giving song recomendations that I was listening to in case you wanted new music to listen to while working on the parts <3

x song is playing rn if you were curious lol

ღ S Coups: (Song Note: Biebs will always hit, argue with the wall LOL.)

# of rounds: 3-4 rounds

Seungcheol would want to get to know you pretty well when you first started dating.

Having said that, the best way to get to know someone would be through quality time.

I could see him planning on a "pregame" date at a cafe then going on a walk then getting something to eat, then maybe another walk?

I can see him giving you his full attention and would genuinely like your company.

He wouldn't want to leave your side but he's a gentleman and wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable especially so soon.

He would def play the date by ear.

ღ Jeonghan: (Song Note: yeah idk but I love this song LMAO.)

# of rounds: 2-3 rounds

Jeonghan is a very go with the flow type of guy so I think similar to Seungcheol he would play it by ear as well.

I think he could also be very shy at beginning of the relationship so he doesn't want to mess anything up with you.

I feel like the rounds would be longer though. I feel like others would have "short" rounds which is why they have more but Jeonghan would take his time with you. (get your mind out of the gutters guys. this is a safe for work, work lmaoooo. yes im blushing too.)

He would have a smile on his face throughout the date though and would really enjoy the date.

ღ Joshua: (Song Note: god dammit I fucking love this song. Say what you want about Ravi but this is literally one of the best songs to exist.)

# of rounds: 2-3 rounds

So, since Jisoo is a LA boy aka American *bald eagle screeches in background* I feel like he would do lower rounds because we don't do that really in the states.

However, I also feel like he could do more rounds as well because he's such a gentleman and if you wanted to go for multiple rounds I feel like he's a yes ma'am thank you ma'am kinda dude.

Plus he's extroverted so he'd be so down to be social longer than other members would be.

Honestly, would just be so whipped the whole time. Probably similar to Jeonghan, his rounds would be longer.

Just expect soft eyes staring at you while you are on your date bc <3333

ღ Jun: (Song Note: this song makes me wanna shake my ass.)

# of rounds: 4-5 rounds

Jun would be similar to Jisoo where he would be like "yes ma'am" and would just be along for the ride.

If you wanted to do drinks, dinner, a walk, a drive, etc he would be down to clown

Would want to be with you no matter what you were doing.

He would be super shy super shy tho. hgahaha.

At first I feel like you would be the one to call the shot for first little bit.

He just likes you a lot and would want to be around you a bit longer than other members.

ღ Hoshi: (Song Note: If you hate this song or don't appreciate this song I don't trust you. This song is just so special.)

# of rounds: forever if he could || 5 rounds max

Look, Soonyoung is peak down bad behavior.

Like throughout the relationship but at the beginning, he would want to be with you constantly.

Not necessarily in a clingy or red flag kind of way ofc.

I could see him being like, "oh (Y/N), the night doesn't have to end just yet."

Shoot, he could turn errands into a date.

Like round 2 would be a convenience store run to get snacks to pregame your dinner date.

He just wanted to get to know you better and loved being around you.

He really felt he could be 'Soonyoung' around you and that was great for him.

ღ Wonwoo: (Song Note: this album was peak and this song is so cunty. I absolutely love it.)

# of rounds: 3-4 rounds

Wonu seems to be a very 'go with flow' kinda guy from what I've gathered.

However I feel like he would be one of the more 'cautious yet curious' members.

I feel like he would be overthinking everything at first regardless if he wanted to or not.

However, I feel like spending time with people is how he learns more about his feelings which is why I ended up saying "3-4 rounds" instead of what I originally thought with "1-2 rounds."

I feel like he would try to make each of the rounds super memorable though.

ღ Woozi: (Song Note: Psy x Taeyang will always be my roman empire omg.)

# of rounds: 1-2 rounds

idk about yall but I know the Jihoon being a workaholic narrative is everywhere in the svt fanfiction world and it seems pretty predictable at this point.

Which... yes, I'm putting that narrative out again, I'm sorry LMFAO

This is just to say that due to him being a busy bee makes me see him not having many rounds.

Not because he doesn't want to do a lot but just because it's hard to juggle multiple things.

Also prior to nana tour, he is such a homebody. I think he might miss home.

I think the longer you were together, the more rounds there would be ya know?

ღ DK: (Song Note: Woodie GoChild's "pussy hoe" lives in my mind rent free and I love it LMFAOOO.)

# of rounds: 4-5 rounds

Seokmin is similar to Soonyoung because if he could go forever he would because to him you were good company.

Wouldn't matter what you were doing, he would be laughing with you and smiling wide the WHOLE time.

Expect Karaoke to be a round because this man eats CDs and I'm sure he'd vibe with someone who also eats CDs.

If you are trash at singing, he would still think you were like the Bob Ross of singing LMFAO.

He would be your biggest hype man. <3

He just is so head over heels for you maaaaaaaaaan.

ღ Mingyu: (Song Note: B.A.P deserved better. Literally one of their best b-sides <3333.)

# of rounds: 3-4 rounds || sometimes all night lol

I feel like Mingyu would be a mix of Joshua, Soonyoung, and Seokmin? (What a combo)

I feel like even a splash of Seungcheol as well because I can see him playing it by ear as well.

I feel like he would only do 3-4 rounds in general but if neither of you would NOT want the night to end you would add rounds that didn't make sense to others but it made sense to you both.

The date would be so carefree and would be an escape from reality for both of you.

Never an awkward moment tbh.

Once you said goodbye when rounds and date were over, I can see him yapping to either Wonwoo or Seokmin ALL about the date.

He'd be giddy af for like 4 business days.

Oh to be able to go on a date with Kim Mingyu...

ღ Minghao: (Song Note: Sik-K's verse is one of the best verses I've ever heard.)

# of rounds: 2-3 rounds

So when I talked about Minghao here, I said he would be flustered by you.

I stand by that still.

I feel like at beginning he would be so shy but so heart eyes during the rounds.

I feel like at first he would want you to call shots because he wanted you to be comfortable. So if you wanted a few rounds, that would be fine with him.

If you wanted more time, that would be even better because it was with you.

ღ Seungkwan: (Song Note: I just love this song.)

# of rounds: 1-2 rounds

Seungkwan is a busy bee similarly to Jihoon.

I feel like he would want to do more rounds but at the beginning he would be in his head a lot and either prioritize his career or you more

I think his overthinking might be why there are less rounds at the beginning

However as time goes on, there would be more rounds.

Especially when he get more comfortable with you <3

(sorry his is so short. I will come back to it later because idk how else to explain it.)

ღ Vernon: (Song Note: this song is mother idc)

# of rounds: 1-2 rounds

I feel like Hansol would have less rounds but the frequency of 'dates' would be more often if that makes sense.

Every night could be date night if you were brave enough.

He would be all smiles while you were on your dates.

He would want to get to know you more hence the frequency of dates but also he wouldn't want to scare you away by having you for multiple rounds. At least not yet

He would gain energy back from these dates and he just loved the fact that you agreed to go on dates with him.

ღ Dino: (Song Note: I don't need to explain myself to anyone.)

# of rounds: 5 rounds

Lee Chan is down bad. (not crying at the gym tho. the girls that get it get it.)

He would want to be with you as long as he could so the more rounds the better.

I can see our precious maknae being similar to Mingyu, Seokmin, Soonyoung, and Joshua. again what a combo.

He would be laughing and smiling throughout the date and would do everything to make sure you are also having a good time.

He would look forward to these dates. He'd yap to his members about it too and they would tease him for it hahaha.

It would be cute as shit. <3

[lokiiied]

the drinking game scene in rotk bc legolas is just naturally good at everything and also an elf it takes like twenty beers to get him even slightly buzzed and then he’s like, “i feel something…a slight tingle in my fingers. i think it is effecting me!” and éomer is just like #impressedandturnedon

will never not be funny but also imagine:

after legolas “wins” the game and him and éomer lift gimli and relocate him éomer is just amazed at legolas’ elf alcohol tolerance and says,

“have you never been drunk before?” and legolas smiles and says,

“not from this.” to which éomer responds,

“care to have a few more then?” and legolas realises they haven’t really had a chance to get to know each other so he says sure. and about five beers later (ten for legolas, who now cannot stop chugging them) éomer, now very much buzzed himself, leans in a bit more than intended and asks,

“how are you feeling now?” and legolas smirks at him,

“trying to get me drunk, are we?” which makes éomer shift back a bit, trying to read him, and says sarcastically,

“i would never- [and then without meaning to say the rest out loud finishes his sentence]

-seduce a prince” to which legolas’ eyebrows raise and he presses,

“seduce?” and éomer panicks and tries to go back,

“not what i meant, i uhm, not thinking clearly.” but legolas, deciding to indulge, shifts slightly so their knees touch and leans in a bit.

“i think you’re thinking perfectly well.”

and so basically they kiss (no one cares everyone has like centimetres of personal space in there and are all drunk off their asses anyways) and it’s nice, but legolas realises in that moment a couple things:

1. he is maybe a little more drunk than he thought he was

2. it is making him (more) confident?

3. and slightly horny

4. he’s enjoying the attention and flirtation and éomer is very sweet and pretty…but he can’t help imagining éomer is someone else.

5. not just. anyone else.

“i’m sorry”, he gently places both hands on éomer’s shoulders and says,

“i have something i must do now.” and he leaves éomer confused but also he’s probably drunk enough to think think it was all just a weird dream.

suddenly legolas finds himself shoving through drunks and couples, away from the loud and crowded spaces and through hallways…he’s not sure where exactly he’s going, just that his heart is pounding and his feet will lead him to where he wants to be. who he wishes to see.

aragorn is on the balcony, looking out upon the ruined city. he doesn’t feel like celebrating. there’s still a battle to be fought, and although they won this one, it’s not looking very promising. he hears familiar footsteps approaching. light and quiet, but still, he can always sense when the elf is near him.

legolas slows when he sees him. he had so much courage when he was running through the corridors, but now that he was here…his heart is throbbing in his throat and his usual confidence no longer felt elevated. but he knew aragorn must be able to hear his heavy breath, so he swallowed and made his way to the man’s side.

“shouldn’t you be celebrating?” aragorn asks, without turning his head.

“shouldn’t you be with us?” legolas looks to him. taking in his greasy hair and his stubble and his jawline…

aragorn breaks his gaze from the city below, meeting legolas’ eyes. they looked a little glazed, and he could get lost in them if he allowed himself.

“been drinking with the dwarf?” he asks, corner of his mouth turning up into a small smile.

legolas had felt his buzz starting to fade on his run over - it had only lasted 15 minutes or so, and in another 15 it would probably be completely gone. but standing in front of aragorn now, he felt a sudden wave of lust and indulgence washing over him. maybe it was the alcohol…maybe something else. but he decided he wanted to push his luck.

“actually, he’s been passed out about half an hour or so. i beat him in a drinking game.” aragorn chuckled. (god, legolas wanted to kiss that grimy, scratchy, throat)

“is that so?” he could tell legolas was not entirely sober, and he wasn’t sure what direction this conversation was going to take - but he felt compelled to find out.

“mm. apparently it takes a lot of your kind of ale [legolas wasn’t sure what in middle earth had possessed him to reach out and brush his fingers along the front of aragorn’s robes] to take an effect on me.”

“and yet you seem affected, my friend.” aragorn could knew the small act was mindless…but there was also intention to it. he wished legolas would dare even further. for all that had happened, and was happening - he could use a distraction. but legolas wasn’t just a distraction. he was his weakness. and his strength. and the thought of his touch, his smile, his hooded eyes, his parted lips…it was taking everything in aragorn to keep his composure.

the thought of just telling him about his kiss with éomer, was tempting. but then there was a chance that might confuse aragorn. the kiss was nice, but it hadn’t really meant anything to legolas. maybe it wasn’t worth trying to explain all that now.

“i had a realisation.” he decided on that. it was true. and it was what brought him here, standing in front of aragorn now.

“a realisation?” aragorn could feel the world around them start to fade out. his focus only on the small amount of space between legolas and himself. he now had an idea where this might be going, he wanted to coax him on, but he also couldn’t be sure that his imagination wasn’t taking things out of context.

“yes.” legolas wasn’t sure if it was the fading buzz, or the being so close to aragorn, but it was almost like there was some sort of magic that had created a forcefield around the two of them, blocking out the rest of the world. if he was going to be brave enough kiss him, time was of the essence.

“and what is that?” aragorn wasn’t sure how much longer he could bear to be still with legolas looking at him like that. he wasn’t sure how had ever been able to restrain himself from leaning in to his touches and wrapping his arms around that waist and pulling him in so their hearts touched. how he had resisted tucking that glorious hair behind pointed ears and caressing that perfect jaw-

“i kissed éomer.” well, if he was going to confess his truth, he might as well confess all of it. besides, he wanted aragorn to know that

“it happened in the moment. and it was very nice - but it meant nothing, to me at least. but it did lead me to realise that it wasn’t him i had hoped to be kissing…that i…i was thinking of another.”

aragorn had not expected a confession of this sort, and it did surprise him for a moment, he felt a little sorry for éomer. and a little envious, of not being the first to feel legolas’ lips on his own. but he also knew that, to have legolas’ heart was that of hard earned pining, and of highest fortune. and their every moment together had lead to this one. and if he was being truthful, he could have lived in it forever. but fucks sake was it taking too long. he breathed in through his nose and gently placed one hand above legolas’ waist, slowly, carefully, closing the space between their bodies. the other tucking a strand of hair behind pointed ear.

“and might this ‘other’ have had you running through the halls in your courageous and intoxicated state, to confess this truth?” legolas’ breath hitched, he actually wasn’t sure when he had last taken a full breath- his head was cloudy, and he wasn’t sure if what was happening was real - or perhaps a fantasy that he would soon wake from. he had to be sure.

legolas’ soft, but cold hand found it’s way to cup the side of aragorn’s stubbled cheek. he felt some force of nature pulling them together, it was no use fighting. their lips were centimetres apart…

“he may have.” legolas’ eyes were hooded, and those few words to answer aragorn’s question moments ago (seconds? minutes?) were all he could manage to escape his lips before he found them meeting aragorn’s, finally. he breathed in sharp through his nose and let the air travel between them, before breaking away.

legolas’ hands were on the back of aragorn’s neck, contrasting the heat there. his own hands were now gently clutching the elf’s lower back. he was certain legolas’ smile then was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“i don’t think i have ever seen you smile with such ease” legolas teased, but truthfully it must’ve been the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.

“i don’t think it’s ever been so easy to smile.” and he meant it.

“what now?”

“what would you have me do with you?” oh. well, there was no one answer to that. and certainly not a very respectful, elvishly, one. he took aragorn’s hand, leading him away from the balcony and towards presumably whatever closest chamber or reasonably private place they could find.

“very unprincely things.”

[amesliu]

so disclaimer: I haven't read the book yet so I don't have the full context + i'm not USAmerican so I dunno how relevant this would be to pjo

Also so sorry for the essay... do ignore this if you don't want to go into this further! I just get rambly about cultures and cultural differences haha

In my family it really depends on who the guest is on what is acceptable behaviour? I guess? Closest to percy and annabeth would probably be my sister and her long term boyfriend (5 -ish years, they're early twenties). He isn't expected to help out, but he's allowed to and does regularly help set the table. In this case he also eats at my parent's at least twice a week. Sometimes he and my sister cook, sometimes they clean etc. (he also helps us host at birthdays sometimes! like offer other guests drinks that kind of stuff) Different example: close family typically helps out in the kitchen. My grandma refuses to let us do anything without her help no matter how insistent we are that "You're our guest! Let us do the work!" she'll just tell us that it would be rude of her to let her (grand)children do all the work while she sits and watches. We also always offer our help when we're over at family. (my mom's best friend, who she has known since college, is the same way btw. She also insists on helping us and we always offer our help when we are visiting her and her family) Now, if the boyfriend's parents came over to eat dinner my parents would not let them lift a finger. Same with neighbours, colleagues and other more casual acquaintances.

If I went off of my own experiences and no further context i'd say that rr is trying to show that percy, annabeth and their friends are very close

I totally get that and I agree it’s context sensitive. HOWEVER. My issues with this scene are as follows:

1. Percy appears to be not doing much of anything in this scene? Like the page I read is just him standing there narrating the scene…….? It literally says “Grover and juniper were setting the table which is usually my job” maybe I’m wrong and I’m missing context but that’s what it read like. But this isn’t rlly my main issue with the food stuff so oh well

2. I have a huge contention with Rick’s push to make Annabeth into a character that is like. Good at and interested in cooking and food handling in general. His justification for her learning to cook appears to be “she’s smart and so ahead in her classes she just decided to” which goes back to my point that I made on my side blog about the poor representation of Annabeth as a “smart adhder”. It feels like a retroactive and lazy justification for a character trait that he has already decided for her when her upbringing and personality has given me no reason to believe she would ever need or care to learn to cook. Her doing so could be an interesting way to explore the way her priorities shift as she gets older as Jules discussed on my post about sohaes last chapter but it’s not being used that way and when he randomly starts pushing his one female character in his main trio to start cooking when both his male characters have a much better characterization for it it also feels somewhat misogynistic and “mommy-ifying” with how heavily the cooking focuses on Annabeth being so so good at cooking

I don’t want this to come off as me saying a female character who cooks is inherently misogynistic but this sudden addition to her character says nothing and does nothing when it can and should. Either she remains not good at cooking and we see food as a medium for care and affection with Percy and Sally as caretakers expecting nothing in return or we see her learn with Sally as a symbolic representation of her gaining smth she lost as a kid. But learning to cook in a class bc she’s just so smart and good at school is… not it.

And even then. What if she does learn in an academic and STRUGGLES with it. How does that interact with her pride? Her personality? Etc.

I think this is a huge issue I have with a lot of the ideas he brings up where they could be incredibly interesting things to explore but he will never take it there so it just feels random. We’re not at a point where we’re supposed to be teaching an audience about a character we’re at the exploring their depth stage and he just. Doesn’t act that way.

3. A cultural issue I guess but my partner would never be allowed to do the work at my parents house but we are sort of a fist fight for the bill type of culture so 🤷‍♂️

Side note: the tangent about Percy being like “wow I’d never think to ask if salad was okay for juniper” followed by the immediate tangent about how hard he’s thought about the feelings of fish and whether or not he eats them was like… something. Idk what but it ticked me off LOOOL

[olderthannetfic]

hii! does anybody have any advice on how to feel okay with not having friends? i spent years abroad, so in the meantime my irl friends from hs found other friends to hang out with who they seem to like more than me or else are very busy with work and uni and such. which is cool, good for them for having such a vibrant social life, but it feels like they have no room for me anymore and i'm a person who can't make friends that easily. i don't drink or smoke, and i feel uncomfortable in big gatherings and feel better getting to know ppl one-on-one over a longer period of time, but that makes it hard for me to connect to ppl bc most irl people don't have much patience or already have their own established friend group and little old me doesn't hold their attention.

i'm starting a new job in a couple of weeks, so hopefully that will give me the necessary social interaction plus i have a great family, so i'm not going stir crazy, it just hurts a little that my friends don't bother to text me for days if i don't text them first or invite me out to places. and i'm trying to make new friends, it just doesn't come that easy and in the meantime i wish i could just feel at peace w being alone instead of questioning why people don't want to hang out with me or why i don't feature into their leisure plans. (not that i'm blaming them, it's just that it's hard not to feel inadequate.)

so yeah, anyone have any advice on how to feel at peace w being alone? like, maybe i'll never manage to make new friends or make new connections, maybe through lack of trying, maybe through lack of luck, idc, i just want to be enough for myself, but i don't know how.

so any wise words are appreciated and thank you, OTNF, for letting me vent in your inbox :)

--

Well... those feelings are pretty common and a natural reaction to the situation. You may not really get rid of them entirely, but you can accept them as a natural part of things and not a sign that anything has gone wrong.

HS friends rarely stick with each other even during college, let alone after, so you would likely be in this same boat regardless. Making new adult friends can be a pain, but it's something most of us face multiple times even if we luck into some good friend groups at points and even if we're more social.

The thing to do for many people is to keep busy with hobbies. A crafting meetup or book club isn't usually massive. I know you don't like groups, but nobody is going to go off one-on-one without meeting you in a group context first. Finding some more manageable groups to meet people casually and see if you click is how most people do it. The only way to get to know people over time is to show up in the same places with the same people a lot.

--

Another important thing to realize about adult friends is that many of them won't be good about texting you or inviting you because they're all out of energy for doing that with anyone. Maybe all of their energy is reserved for a job. Maybe for a child. Maybe for a romantic partner.

Even if you're their very best friend, they may still not respond much at certain times in their life. If you guys are just post college, maybe that's not the issue yet, but it will be at some point.

Every single book about the plague of loneliness and how people suck at maintaining core friendships outside of their household is fixated on this. People suck at recognizing when they aren't putting enough energy into maintaining relationships.

I would axe that hangdog attitude about little old you not holding people's attention. They probably just aren't allocating time to building friendships at all.

--

Liking being alone has a lot to do with loving yourself in general and having hobbies and things you want to have time for that are solo pursuits.

It's also about not waiting to do things like go to a restaurant you want to check out. Go alone. Go with a book. Anything can be a solo activity unless it literally mandates 2+ people. Missing out on friend time shouldn't mean missing out on everything else, but a lot of people let it become that.

[thatdeadaquarius]

HELLO IT IS I AGAIN (Razor's mom /real)

So you know those imposters aus where characters chase the reader for being an 'impersonator'?

What if... It's a continuation from my ask (where we meet Razor first before everyone), and Razor is just confused at the patrolling knights near Wolvendom constantly asking him if he have saw 'the impostor'

Tbh he just shakes his head. Who tf is the impostor????? Wtf is an impostor???????

Many question marks later..

He had encountered an epiphany (not really it's just the Springvale ppl talking about someone copying the creator's looks).

The 'Impostor' they have been searching is you.

But you're not an impostor! Razor knows it! Andrius knows it! And with how the nature and the monster responded to you, Teyvat knows it too!

So like the good son he is, he sheltered you even more severely.

Ur not allowed to go out of his sights at this point (he'll still take you to places with many lampgrasses if you still wanna make a crown w it)

And my imagination ends there, do you think there's something else he'd do?

Ty for answering my last request btw, ur the best and I hope you get your favorite characters w one 10 pull and your desired artifacts w the best stats <3

Much love and sweets

-Razor's mom

RAZOR'S MOM!! HELLO aw im so glad u liked it :)

Srry about the late reply! 💜💜💜

Ok, so I think this is a good time to point to my shiny

Writing Requests/About Me Post I have pinned on my 👉 blog!!👈💅 taaa daaaa :) i did it guys here ya go

Yall have been GREAT so far abt keeping the requests chill and fun, and i dont have that many "Donts" that arent obvious (homophobia, transphobia, ableism,etc)

♡

Dont worry Razor Mom, i just wanted to use this as a way to talk about this!! /nm /gen

♡

About Imposter AU, there are plenty of other blogs/posts that write for that or posts under SAGAU tag! :)

I said wayyy earlier on in some of my first asks, but basically I really want to lighten up the Genshin SAGAU / Isekai tag and branch out from all these darker Imposter AUs :)

And also add more world-building posts or AUs <3

(language brainrot for example)!!

◇

TL;DR: I am not accepting hunting down/yandere/cult au/imposter au Genshin Sagau, only a funny or chill version of it.

Please check my writing rules post :)

Example: u look like Creator, but everybody's like, "oh lucky them wow rlly blessed, have a free drink, etc.

OR omfg where r they?? They descended to Teyvat oh fuck we lost our god-"

♡

Heres the Razor post !!!

If u wanna check it out :]

Cracks knuckles, Saddle up Baby, bc its time for my version of the Imposter AU 🤭😋😈

(and sorry for answering super late/possible scare Razor mom anon!! :'/ )

♡

So it begins rlly small right?

Like, Razor does not know the new knight patroling Wolvendom's borders

,, weird but ok, he thinks basically

And then when it was time to visit some domains a little closer to Springvale for grinding

(Or rlly just to get some of their tiny restaurants homemade food yumm)

He notices more Favonius knights lurking around than usual

Or at least widening their patrols

And hes like wtf?

Ur like, huh.

I'll ask Springvale ppl wtf goin on

The locals respond that the search for the Great Creator has begun.

...

...you and Razor: 👁👄👁 w h o m s t ❔️

◇

Upon further questioning

(which was apparantly weird that yall didnt know, but eh, u just used the whole "feral wolf child with feral blacksmith parent living in woods ignorance" excuse)

Admittedly yall, quite literally, live under a rock lmao

They explain theres a whole ass prophecy

Abt how the Great Architect would succumb to a long slumber somewhere else in the vast universe after making the planet.

And when the time is right, they will reconnect to Teyvat, and awaken, and descend in a mortal form

(like the archons)

◇

..but the kicker is nobody knows wtf they look like bc:

1. All that lore is hella crumbly and old, and very hard to translate

2. Mortal forms sometimes look different than god forms, so even if they did know some defining features of the Creator, that wasnt guaranteed to be them...

◇

(i.e. they will have brown eyes, well. Thats a fuckton of ppl with brown eyes innit? 💀)

♤

So thru certain signs, that this mysterious prophecy wooooo

Said would happen, the nations of Teyvat and their many supernatural inhabitants are aware the ultimate god has descended

(The crops flourished? Animals got more wily, many of the sick ppl got better for no reason, the Irminsul started regrowing/filling out its base- like how it looked like a lightning struck tree rn 💀)

So every country are now trying to find them to be the first to welcome them home

Needless to say its lowkey a competition

◇

Meanwhile you and Razor are just:

... (゜▽゜;)

"Haha yeah cool..."

(Andrius already told u what u r to Teyvat and explained to Razor)

Ur both immediately slapping a cloak on u and keeping the hood up all the time

Yall dont wanna be seperated :(

Ur both paranoid for diff reasons,

Razor's just scared his Lupical is going to be taken from him again bc there r better, more refined humans wanting to be ur Lupical ;-;

And ur like-

Omfg that sounds like sm work 💀

While its nice to daydream abt what itd be like to be famous, realistically,

U could not handle that shit.

People crowding you all the time?

U cant just look busted anywhere u go, like a midnight snack run

Ppl would also expect u be,

Responsible??

To act like a competent ruler maybe???

Hell no.

U just wanted to play a pretty gacha game and spoil ur skrunklies

(At least, if they do wanna call u that, they dont make u do anything political 💀 but u doubt it)

◇

Needless to say, Razor is glued to ur side everywhere u go.

A domain a half mile away? Oh he'll come with dw

Ur gonna go stop by that food merchant further up the road for ingredients? Cool he'll sniff the best ones!

Ur going to see Andrius??

Oh he needed to see him too-

😭😭🥺🥺 poor babe

♧

Surprisingly enough,

Or maybe not his house is right tf there

Diluc is the first person to actually recognize you.

Razor had been subtly steering u away from Mondstadt for 3 weeks now, ever since yall talked to the Springvale locals

An u cant say u didnt notice, but u werent rlly stopping him

You wanted to be like Venti, chillin among the ppl regardless of ur powers, not the Raiden Shogun :/

And maybe shock some ppl who dont know ur a god like him too lol

◇

Diluc had been looking around the lesser patroled areas of Mondstadt to search for the Architect

He didn't even need those incompetent knights to tell him their god had finally descended

He already saw the signs long before Mondstadt

Bc youve been in Wolvendom, the area has flourished over time, more fish in the water, more game to hunt and bigger, crows making circles in the sky despite there being no corpse

And one of the closest places to you,

Is the Dawn Winery.

Diluc's security against Venti began to hold up better, the staff didn't have to clean as much things like dirt or weather damage to the manor,

His hawk had never been faster delivering his letters, he almost thought the little guy had been drugged with something

◇

He patroled Stormterror's Lair, and deep in the woods surrounding the manor that the knights hadn't bother to go into

Afterall, he figured you'd never had a mortal form before, so u were unlikely to fend for urself for very long in the woods lol

so he wanted to find u quick (aww softy :')

He even made a trip out to the Thousand Wind Temple and Dragonspine (he did report that one to the knights, he didn't want Amber, Bennett, or Creator-forbid Klee, being the few pyro users to have to explore it)

Finally, after doing the further away locations, siginificant in history and rich with leftover magic

Diluc figured that's where you might land first, so he saved Wolvendom for last

It would at least let him check on that wolf kid and maybe get to talk to him long enough to ask him if he's seen anything unusual.

The lord of Dawn Winery manor heads into the Wolvendom woods, just as sunset colors the trees...

◇

It was a Friday evening, the sun was setting, the weather was pleasant and it was time for all of the Lupical to come together and eat a big feast!! :)

About once a month, Andrius will come out for a few nights and dine with all of yall

Hes an old wolf give him a break, he takes long naps

So u cook lots of Mondstadt favorites to eat on and a few Liyue dishes too

Razor, ur favorite helper, has helped u finish the last dish and is now romping around with the puppies bless <3

U guys have dragged ur coffee table dining table setup out to sit and eat at

Andrius lets out a not too loud, not too quiet howl, and as the wolves, Razor and you lmao join in

Yall dig in, bones flying everywhere, spagetti noodles flingling around, it would put toddlers to shame lol

◇

Diluc hears a howl that is too... big to be a regular wolf.

It filled the air of Wolvendom like no howl before it, as he used the glowing lampgrass to help light the path deeper

He sneaks past a hilichurl camp or two, all fast asleep

He scans the woods, and figures he'll search the woods besides the path after he gets to that old stone carved pit-

Food?

Diluc sniffs the air, and squints deeper into the forest

The black branches shade the way ahead, but just barely... he can see the flicker of orange and blue light?

He summons his claymore, bracing it on his shoulder, and creeps into the treeline to better hide him

◇

You swear to god (dammit swear to.. you??) someone is watching you.

You look around the piles of fluffy doggos, happy and stuffed full they r slowly forming puppy piles

Andrius is finishing his meat platter, also sitting on all four legs on the ground

Razor is splayed on his back beside you, eyes closed, his feet sticking out the other side of the table, u chuckle at him

But not a single Lupical seems to be looking at you.

Gulping down your last few bites, you scan the treeline

U refuse to be that bitch in a horror movie where their gut says smth is off and they brush it off or barely look at their surroundings

Turning around to the treeline behind you, u see something... red fur?

U sit up some more, peering over the bushes at the bottom of the trees

You meet a pair of warm brown eyes, widened like they're just as shocked to see you

As u notice his familiar red high ponytail (but also not?? Its weird going from 2D to 3D and still recognizing bitches)

U peer down at his chest, as he carefully stands out of the foliage-

That familiar star shaped button that u can press for the character menu screen, the same thats on Razor, on Benny, on Fischl, on Lisa-

Hovers over Diluc's chest.

◇

Diluc is in the bush, observing the human(???) stranger (he really doesnt want to attract the attention of that.. giant spirit wolf thing)

The figure sitting at a ... table?? (He can barely process all these absurdities at once, hes only got so much brain space)

Has sensed his presence, and as he grips his claymore, ready to demand answers,

Razor startles, and jumps up, smelling the pyro user, he summons his weapon-

The figure locks eyes with him, and all he sees is gold.

Diluc drops his claymore.

☆

♡

☆

Have a cliffhanger bc idk 🤷‍♂️ Also srry it wasnt exactly Mondstadt finding u, and it somehow turned into a whole scenario?? Idk man

🤧 welp i hope that was decent Razor mom! Tysm for ur sweet feedback abt our beloved son 🙏💜🐺

Feel free to always talk again, thru comments, asks whatever!! :D

♡

Cheers,

💀♒️

(guys im so stupid i coud've been signing off with this simple emoji combo the whole time,, 😭i didnt actually think abt emojifying my name, just making it look pretty with some of my fav emojis... 😔)

If anyone reads this u should let me know which one is better lol

💀♒️

OR

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

OR like a combo???

♡my beloved♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[burnedwriter]

What type of lovers they are pt1.

A/n:i will be taking a small break and creating pt 2 so stay tuned!,i will step away from tumblr bc these last 2 days have been rough 2 of my posts have been community labelled,its only the dottore ones which makes me think that there is a hater out there that is reporting me,plz if you dont like my posts just scroll its not that hard

Warnings:smut,gentle s*x(kazuha),petnames(kazuha,kaeya),semipublic(kaeya),cockwarming(kaeya)breeding(childe),rough s*x(childe),breeding king,!afab reader

A,/n:im not responsible for what people read

🍁Kazuha

🍁kazuha is a romantic lover.He would write poems for you when he leaves for his travels,so you wont miss his presence while hes away.

🍁he will bring you small gifts and flowers from the places he has visited back home to you.

🍁if you really want to join him to his travels,though hesitant at first since hes concerned for your safety but he will accept you to join him.He cant say no when you look at him with those puppy eyes plus you wanted your life to become interesting than the boring one you are living right now.

nsfw

🍁hes really gentle with you showering you with kisses as hes exploring every inch of your body.He has memoriesed what you like and hat you dont during your time and knows exactly what to do to make you weak for him.

🍁he uses you as his muse and has wrote many poems about you,he will read them when he is alone so he can never forget your beauty.

🍁hes really gentle with you and will not be rough until you tell him to even then he would ask you if you are alright or need him to stop

🍁outdoors sex is very common for the both of you,you would usually go to picknicks far away from civilazation,and one thing always leads to another and now hes on top of you.

‘‘zuzu’‘you moaned as kazuha rolled his hips in a lazy pace

‘‘you are doing amazing my muse,let me hear your voice’‘kazuha praised you,continuing his slow pace

it was true this place was far away from any city in inazuma,you didnt have to wory about your moans being too loud because now it was only you and him

‘‘please zuzu,can you go faster~’‘you whined getting impatient from his gentle pace

‘‘anything for you my muse’‘

❄Kaeya

❄Due to his work being the calvary captain,hes constantly busy but that doesnt mean he doesnt invite you to his office and keep him company while hes doing his paper work

❄he will set up dates to make up for it though it would usually be at the tavern,both of you will drink and have fun

❄he has opened up about his childhood,talking about the big fight between him and diluc and how it affected him both physicly and mentally over the years.You are the only one that has seen whats under the eyepatch and what his eye looks like from that day

nsfw

❄he loves teasing you all the time,whispering dirty things in your ear before leaving for work,making you wanting more.He loves seeing you desperate for him to touch you.

❄Quickies are very common between the 2 of you,as i said before hes a very busy person due to his work,but he will try to make time so you can both take your time and enjoy it

❄he loves fucking you in his office.The feeling of getting caught turns him on.

‘‘kaeya we are going to get caught’‘you whispered

his hand on your hips keeping you from squarming on his lap as he continued his conversation with jean like you werent sitting on his cock,you tried your best not to loose your mind,wanting to move your hips to get some friction.

‘‘are you ok?’‘Jean asked concerned as she saw your face  turn red as a tomato.

‘‘yeah im fine,dont worry about me Jean’‘you replied cearing your throat trying not to look suspicious

‘‘are you sure  sweetheart?~’‘he teased you,a small smirk started to appear at the corner of his mouth.

You bit your buttom lip trying to capture any monas that might escape from your lips as kaeya tried to readjust his position,his cock brushing off of your sweetspot.

‘‘wont bother you anymore,please take some rest’‘Jean said to you before getting up from her seat and walked towards the door,leaving the room.

Waiting for her to be far away from kaeya’s office,as you finally got to move,you started moving up and down his cock.Kaeya leaned back and spread his legs, you were able to use them to balance yourself

‘‘ang~,you are an impatient little thing arent you’‘‘he groan as you continued to bounce up and down chasing your orgasm.

‘‘fuck~kaeya~’‘you let out a low moan trying not to attact any attention from the guards

‘‘you are doing amazing sweetheart,let me help you a bit’‘he said holding your hips firmly fastening up your pace.

‘‘im close~’‘

With one last bounce,you felt your walls squeezed his cock practicly milking him as you finally achieved your long awaited climax.

🐋tartaglia/childe

🐋ajax is  a loyal lover

🐋he has discussed with you from the start that he wants to start a big family just like his and he would spoil them with his harbinger money 100%

🐋He doesnt want you to get involved with his work,since he doesnt want you to get hurt or even worst...get killed he cares so much about you it would absoloutly break him if something ever happened to you and wont stop blaming himself about not being able to protect you.

🐋Just like kazuha he brings you gift from the places he travels but th difference is that its expensive or exclusive jewelry he would find in nations

nsfw

🐋When it comes to fucking you,hes rough.This man thinks the bedroom is also a battlefield.Prepare to wake up the next morning with bruses and hickeys all over your body.

🐋Speaking of hickeys he will leave them to places that are visible such as your neck and/or collarbone to show who you belong to.He would also leave some hickeys in places only he can see like your inner things and chest.

🐋This man has a breeding kink,you cant tell me he doesnt.He want you to start a family together afterall and he will make sure to fill you up to the brim.

‘‘fuck your cunt is milking my cock’‘he groaned loudly as he fucked you mercilesly

your legs pressed at the either sides of your head as you laid back on his chest,with this position he was able to reach deeper than the previous ones.

‘‘Ah~Ajax~’‘you whimpered throwing your head back on his shoulder

‘‘fuck im close, i w-want you to take to take every ast bit of my cum ~’‘he breathed out not stopping his brutal pace.

‘‘Ah~,YES YES!’‘you screamed,holding onto the bedsheets for dear life as you feel your eyes rolling at the back of your head.Both of you reaching your climax,you could feel his seed insideyou filling you up

‘‘i wont pull out until i know you are full’‘

[nofomogirl]

Metatron's manipulation step by step

Part 1: The coffee

The very first thing we see Metatron do on Earth is order a coffee in Nina's shop. Which is very convenient, because I don't think I would be able to properly analyze the finale without discussing the role of the drink first.

No, I do not believe the coffee was tampered with in any way. It's just a regular coffee. But I do agree it's important, and the scene where Metatron places his order is in the show for a very good reason.

What reason is that?

Well, what do you think is the reason for any drink that we get to see this season? Because I don't know if you've noticed but there are quite a few of them.

Maggie asks for a skinny latte, which we learn is her usual. Then she comes back, but since it's too late for coffee she asks for a herbal tea but can't make up her mind between mint and chamomile.

Crowley demands the famous six shots of Esspresso in one mug.

Aziraphale asks for a large sherry at the pub and Crowley orders a large Talisker.

Job's children make a lot of fuss about their wine.

Mrs. Sandwich buys four drinks for her girls, one of which is double Americano with oat milk and hazelnut syrup (we don't know what the other three were but we can safely assume they were just as specific).

In 1827 Crowley influences Mister Dalrymple to offer him and Aziraphale some whisky.

And obviously, Gabriel Jim gets a lot of hot chocolate.

Oh, but let's not forget the less fortunate encounters with various beverages.

When Aziraphale is first offered wine in 2500 BC, he is repulsed.

When Muriel is offered tea, they have no idea how to hold the cup and insist they prefer to just look at it.

And finally, when Gabriel and Beelzebub go on a date in The Resurrectionist, the Archangel orders "two goblets of your intoxicating liquor, please" and when the bartender asks which liquor, he specifies "whichever one it is you humans usually orally consume". After putting the glasses of beer on the table, he calms Beelzebub with "you don't actually have to consume". And indeed they never do touch their drinks.

Do you see the pattern?

Humans drink things all the time. We drink to stay alive, but also to influence our bodies in certain ways (alcohol to get intoxicated, coffee to get stimulated, herbal infusions to get calmed, etc.), and as part of social rituals. What, how, and when we drink is a very important part of our lives. We follow certain customs but we also have very specific personal preferences.

In season 2 we see a lot of humans act normally about drinks, Aziraphale and Crowley pretty much assimilated in that regard but still sticking out on occasion, and supernatural entities unfamiliar with Earth completely lost and confused by the whole thing.

And the reason for showing it all is to provide context for the scene when Metatron asks for a large oat milk latte with a dash of almond syrup for Aziraphale.

The reason for that scene, in turn, is to let us know, that Metatron knows what he's doing. He's not like the Archangels - ignorant, incompetent, and easily fooled. He knows and understands Earth. The problem is, he also wants it destroyed. And stopping him would be far more difficult than anything in season 1 was.

Continued in Part 2: learning from past mistakes

[aleksa-sims]

Simself Story

I went to the young woman behind the counter to ask her for help, bcs I got lost and needed a phone to call N. As I mentioned in the last part, it turned out, the young saleswoman was Damien’s twin sister, Diana. I met her already 2 years ago at a Christmas party. She was there with her brother & I accompanied N. at the time. That party was organized by their coach.

Anyway, Damien’s twinsister and some other girls, who were also there at this party with their boyfriends, were pretty mean to me. She called me fat & ugly or something. I just couldn’t handle things like that. I was/am very introverted and lacked self-confidence. Especially then, I struggled a lot with that! However N. got really pissed, so we went home. And well! Now....she didn’t remember me, which honestly wasn’t a surprise to me. I’m like a ghost to most people.

Diana: That's odd. I have no idea who you are?... Anyway, Twinnie’s friends, are my friends too. But apart from that, I'm glad to help.

Me: Twinnie? Are you really calling your brother Twinnie?

Diana: Don’t you know the Twinnnie ice cream? Green & orange? Damien and I were addicted to it as kids. He always got green, Kiwi, I got orange. We loved that ice-cream. Perfect for us Twins.

Me: Yeess, Twinnie-Ice cream! My sister and I also enjoyed sharing the Twinnie Ice-cream.

Diana: Cool! What's your name? But...is there something going on with you two?😏... And when & where did we meet?

Me: Christmas 2 years ago. I was Nico's gf. I met you and Damien there at their coach's christmas party. I'm Aleksandra. And I'm with N. here, not with your brother!

Diana: Really? You & N., huh?... I've heard of you, I think?... Anyway, gald to meet you Aleks. I remember being... trashed back then. I was........ difficult at the time. So yes, there’s a lot I don’t remember clearly.

Me: Hm, same!🫤 I mean, I don’t drink. I did.... something..... else. However, I understand all too well what you mean. Still, you were pretty mean to me that night. You were mocking me. You called me ugly & fat! 😒

Diana: What? Oh nooo! I'm so sorry, Aleks. Ugh, I was such a bitch, damn it! 🤦‍♀️ ... Those.... rich girls, you know? I wanted to fit in. I did and acted as they did, to make them like me. But they were all so fake. I-.... I didn't like myself anymore. That's why I-... anyway. I'm so sorry. You're not ugly. You're actually really pretty.

Me: I... didn’t expect, that! And I thought those girls would follow you and do what you say?.... Agh, who cares. I don't give a shit about them. But thank you for your nice apology. I'm glad you're not really a mean girl. Is that why you dated David, that loser?

Diana: Pls don’t mention David. My brother's gonna kill me....David broke his wrist and Nico’s nose. 😄

Me: WTF?... He broke N.'s nose?🤨

Diana: Yes! I was there. I saw it! Nico’s nose’s been a bit crooked, since that fight between him & David. Didn’t you notice that?... But well, Nico got what he deserved. He also hurt David pretty badly.

Me: But Nico’s nose looks as usual... Agh, let's not talk about the past.

Diana: Okay!... I'm gonna call Damien to tell him you're here.

Me: Thanks. 🙁

Diana: They’ll be there in 2 minutes! They’ve already been looking for you.

Me: That means, N. trusts me.🙂 He didn’t think I left without him.

Diana: Huh?... What happened to Stephanie? Since when did you and N. get back together? OH, shit! 🤦‍♀️Sorry! Do you even know Steph, that weirdo? 😬 👉👈

Me: Yea, she's truly a weirdo. 😜 Our whole.... lovestory, Nico and I, is... a bit tricky. I’m pregnant! It’s Nico’s Baby. And I love him sm. I really do! I always did and I think he feels the same, but Stephanie.... agh, I hope Stephanie finally leaves Nico and me alone, FOREVER! Her brother married Melanie. Nico's sister. So Stephanie will always be....... there somehow.

Diana: Holly shit, you're pregnant? I can’t imagine Nico with a Baby! He’s just like Damien. They.... only have their damn soccer in mind. Their lives are all about this one thing, they don’t care about anything else.

Me: Um.... I know, but N. doesn’t want his life to be....just about soccer. He never wanted that! He always tried to find a balance. And he never really talks to me about soccer. He doesn't want to. And ngl, I'm glad about that.

Diana: Maybe that’s why he likes you so much? You are his balance. But still, N. & a Baby??? Damn, I hope this works for you two.

Me: Yea, I'll.... do my best. 🤷‍♀️(😞)

Then suddenly Damien’s and Diana’s dog (Tinka) came running towards me. Their dog was so happy to see me. She got really excited. But why, I asked Diana? She was sure, Damien told her to look for me. So cute their dog. Her name's Tinka. 🤭 Who would name a dog that?... Diana used to be a Tinkabell fan. 🤣🤭

Just after Tinka, Damien & Nico also arrived. They both looked at me... sadly? They seemed so worried. I was kind of ashamed. 😞

Nico: You ok?

Me: Now, yes.... I'm so sorry. That was really stupid of me. I had no reception near Damien's house. I called Ana. A FaceTime Call. That’s why my battery went down so fast. My phone died. I even left my umbrella somewhere. I was totally confused. I was afraid you thought I went home without you.🙁

Nico: I was rather worried you might get a panic attack and be alone somewhere. I guessed you got lost. Everything looks the same here. Those small pathways, the houses....

Me: I just shouldn’t have moved from the main road leading to Damien’s house, then I would definitely have found back.

Nico: I'm glad you're ok. I’ve really imagined the worst scenarios. Looking for you, Damien & I saw 2 overtrunded trees near his house. You’ll see when we go back. We really thought something might have happened to you.

Me: Ugh, shit. I'm so sorry.... But... are we ok now?

Nico: Um.... let's go home. Now it's all fine.

He hugged me and we went back to the house. Nico seemed depressed. Something was not okay. I felt so bad about him. So I told him, I didn’t want to go home. I wanted to stay with him. But he just said I should rest a bit. I was so broken from last night. We slept some hours in Damien's bedroom. We were really just sleeping. Nothing happened between N & me. He was distant, he didn’t even kiss me or anything. Which is totally unusual and strange for him or us. Tbh... it worried me. I was insecure. That’s not how we both imagined our date.

Previous/Next

[navire190413]

haha i got drunk and wrote like 2,000 words about my experience with learning japanese. read it sober and just sat in front of my computer like 😐

you know when old people talk a lot and sometimes its hard to tell if they’re trying to pass on wisdom or are just kind of full of themselves and want to talk about themselves? what i wrote was definitely the latter. i’m just an おじいさん who wants to drink and smoke and talk about myself and my hard work lol

one of my favorite 居酒屋 to visit on my way home from work is closing for good this weekend. its open 24/7 so it was always great for stopping by after drinking at the bar until morning. their squid and shrimp 串カツ are soooo good. i’m actually here now typing this on my phone. this izakaya is in a basement so i don’t have signal. i just end up scrolling through my photos or blogging in my notes while sitting here alone for an hour until my favorite bar opens at 7.

the last time i came here a server ive become acquainted with hit on me, and i didn’t pick up on it at all, so my reaction was kind of dull. i only realized he was hitting on me when he turned around and all the other servers were laughing at him bc they were all eavesdropping. he probably mentioned he was gonna do it beforehand haha. i’m so sorry. i would be totally down to grab drinks if i realized sooner 😂

he always makes me turn around and show him my backpiece when im wearing tanktops and croptops. and hes always basically yelling カッコいい！！its cute how not normal tattoos are here. i would never get these reactions in america but sometimes it can be annoying. yes yes i have a lot of tattoos. yes. expensive. yes painful. and then they find out about my scarification, which honestly most people in the states have also never seen, so then its a weird balance of explaining my love for body modification and not self mutilation.

money has gotten TIGHT lately. im literally courting my ex and bringing him to izakayas and nice restaurants every week and im going broke from it so i gotta stop hahaha. we did have a really good time last night, though. and hes always really grateful and respectful when im paying. he also initiated a lot of kisses and kept kissing my cheeks last night which was weird and not like him at all. im not gonna think about it anymore tho.

i am super excited about where we’re going on saturday. its an 青森県 restaurant and i guess they get fish delivered daily from there, so i hope its super fresh and tasty 😤. i unfortunately booked too late and couldnt get a private room, but i think sitting at the counter will be nice since we’re doing the all-you-can-drink course and itll be faster to get our drinks if we’re not in a secluded room.

my go-to drink for the past 2 years living here has always been highballs, but lately theyre way too strong for me. ive become obsessed with lemon sours, but because its not whiskey in them like highballs i become drunk super super fast. good for cost performance purposes but dangerous since im used to my highball drinking pace. i usually dont black out if i only drink for 2-3 hours on a work night but the other day i drank my usual amount, just this time they were lemon sours and not highballs. i was on the verge of blacking out returning home at only 9pm on a monday 😂

i can’t stop thinking about the guy who asked me to be his girlfriend two weeks ago. he’s american and he’s nice enough, but he’s been living in japan for over a year and cant even say すみません to get a server’s attention. he also doesnt eat meat, so i cant introduce him to yakiniku and yakitori which are my go-to. everytime we hungout i had to translate everything and guide him around tokyo. i brought him to an izakaya for his first time and had to teach him the words for squid and octopus. which he promptly forgot 2 minutes later. its literally taco and ika!!! we got lost in a department store one time and i had to ask for directions while he just stood there. it always felt like i was with a child who knew nothing when we were together. as friends, im more than happy to introduce tokyo and translate. but as someone who was obviously trying to be appealing to me, it was honestly a massive ick. i have no preference when it comes to what ethnicity or cultural background someone is, but i cant date someone who knows less about japan than me. it was a good realization actually! i always say i dont have a type, but i think im slowly starting to realize my type. he doesnt have friends so he would always say “lets go out and explore tokyo together!”dude i have been experiencing tokyo for 2 years. i have my favourite spots and my favourite neighborhoods and i know how to find good restaurants and i regularly go out and just do shit by myself because i can navigate it by myself. he also was expecting me to teach him japanese which was just soooo….

when you get to a level where you’ve lived somewhere long enough and can speak the language a lot of people expect you to be a free tour guide. when it comes to strictly friends with no expectation of me, im more than happy to plan a day of sightseeing and introductions but sometimes when i make friends with foreigners it feels like that’s all they want out of me. i mean it goes both ways. a lot of japanese men just view me as a fetish object. omg a white girl who i can actually speak to!!! maybe she can teach me english!!! ive never fucked a 6 foot tall white girl with tattoos!!!

for my established friends, i happily translate stuff for them and give them english lessons but man it feels like theres a lot of expectations of me meeting people here. from foreigners and native japanese people.

i have a lot of foreign friends who have lived here longer than me and dont speak a lick of japanese and dont have any plans on learning. i dont really feel one way or the other about it. theyve been here long enough and know they can get around and have fun without knowing the language. i cant imagine how tough that is sometimes so more power to them. but its always the people complaining they want to learn and want to understand and communicate but still for some reason just dont sit down and study or make an effort to make japanese friends so they can atleast pick up conversational japanese that i dont understand. why are you not studying???? sure its hard but just do it??? you dont even have to use textbooks. apps kind of suck once you get past the basics but its at least something you can do while riding the train and then atleast i wouldnt have to order for you at the bar after youve been living here for several months!!!

im a princess and a brat and am obsessive so studying is super easy for me. i studying during my lunch breaks and anytime im riding the train. i understand thats not the case for everyone, so i try to take the time to teach my friends who want to learn japanese important phrases for day to day life. maybe textbooks and studying isnt their thing, which is fine. okay i’ll teach you as we go. but even then they dont retain anything 😂 dont complain to me about not being able to speak japanese if you’re not going to put in a little bit of effort to atleast order a beer by yourself!!!! and if youre over thinking the difference between ください and お願いします before you can even say [名前]と申します, youre thinking too much!!!!! japanese is hard. theres a lot of info. if you start getting into super specific japanese before you can do self introductions, its gonna be a long long road. so im super happy i learned japanese in america where i went textbook step by step instead of being surrounded by confusing japanese all day long. when i try to teach my friends japanese they always somehow ask me about n2 grammar. and its just like. stop. ignore that. that does NOT have anything to do with you at this time. i was N2 before N3 grammar even made sense to me (i did get full points on n3 test despite none of it making sense to me though 😂) because i finally had context for it and could make the connections. without those building blocks and going step by step id be lost. and thats why you should study the language before coming to a foreign country.

god im judgmental.

[kiki-strike]

hi would you mind tellin me what ed ward was like? i might have to go there at some point and im scared also sorry if im phrasing it wrong and also also if you're more comfy dming or not answering at all thats fine

Hi yes I can!! And you can dm me if you want or send another ask if you have more questions :)

So there’s two kinds of 24-hour ED care, inpatient and residential. Inpatient is usually inside of a hospital, sometimes integrated with the psych ward (hence “ed ward”). This is where people that aren’t medically stable go (think serious heart conditions, people who flat-out refuse to eat, people who need to be in a locked ward to be safe). I haven’t been to inpatient ed, so I can’t say much on that subject. I do know that you typically stay in inpatient much shorter than residential.

I was in residential for four months. Usually ED treatment takes longer than treatment for depression and such and it’s not uncommon for people to go into residential more than once, but it’s pretty rare for residential to last more than six months. It’s expected that you’ll do a step-down plan which means after you leave res you’ll do a PHP and an IOP (PHP is when you live at home but go to programming during the day, usually 40-60hrs a week with all meals there, and IOP is usually half a day 2-3 times a week).

My res was three houses in a neighborhood (not in a row) and we would all go to the biggest house during the day. There was usually 2-3 group therapy sessions and 2-3 classes (DBT skills, nutrition, etc) per day, every day (inc weekends). We spent the rest of our time doing leisure stuff and eating.

Meals took up a HUGE portion of the day because we got half an hour for each meal, and then there was another half hour for supplements, plus 15 minutes for snacks and 15 minutes for snack supplements, so that amounts to… 4.5 hours every day. The way meals worked was each person got their own plate, to their own needs (some people got tiny amounts bc refeeding, some people got huge amounts bc restoration, etc). You got to choose 3 blacklisted foods that they would never give you, other than that if you didn’t like the food you had to suck it up. I chose spicy food, eggplant, and I think peanut butter? Because being vegetarian didn’t count (though I told them I was vegan instead because I was scared of milk😔). If you didn’t finish your food you got supplemented - 1/2 a sup for eating 3/4 but not finishing, one sup for 1/2-3/4, and two supps for eating less than half. Our supps were Kate Farms unless you had other dietary restrictions; I got switched to ensure clear halfway through because I went on a Kate Farms boycott to get it haha, WORTH IT ensure clear I love you. You had to sit at supps table for the whole half hour or until you finished it (it was a socially-acceptable choice to just sit there for half an hour). If you didn’t drink your sup you lost privileges for the next day, but unless you’d been there for a few months you didn’t actually *have* any, so… privileges were going on our daily 10 minute walk, the weekly strip mall field trip, and if you were VERY LUCKY going to the bathroom with the door closed. During meals there were a lot of blacklisted topics because yknow. Bad Time Let’s Be Nice. If you weren’t eating staff would gently encourage you but wouldn’t be mean about it, and the other patients would too. It’s pretty hard to fake eating there, but not impossible, and definitely impossible to do it without other patients seeing (because we all watched each other eat So Closely and we know all our tricks…) and other patients ratting you out is a definite possibility. You weren’t allowed to leave the table during meals but sometimes it happens. If you didn’t eat for two days they sent you to inpatient (they couldn’t actually force you to eat in res, but in IP they can tube you).

In our free time we all got really close. Everybody had a roommate and we slept in real bedrooms with our own bathrooms (which we could only use at night, they were locked during the day). A lot of us crocheted, there was lots of reading and coloring. We were allowed an hour of screen time, including TV, a day but that was taken away if you were Really Bad (think screaming fit not like “didn’t eat fear food”). If you were still in high school you were expected to do that (online) during free time (which was also a ticket to unlimited computer time during free time lolol, same with AA). The people you go to res to become like a weird version of your family, you’re together for months with ONLY each other doing something very emotionally taxing, so like within the first few days boom you now have 15 new best friends. It’s also very insular in that there are trends? Within your res? I started a rock painting trend, and also pestered staff enough that they finally let us garden (this was just me gardening and everyone else reading in the yard). Everybody listened to top 50 pop even if they hated it, because at res you like it (I’m very attached to billboard pop 2021 still), we all watched every Keanu Reeves movie because it’s funny to say that you have (none of us even liked him that much).

At res everything is funny because everything’s so bad? It’s this sort of delirious sheen that takes over everything, like looking at the world through a soap bubble. That said I was also on the maximum dose of seroquil. Everyone’s super supportive, not like the movies. If they didn’t actually want to recover they didn’t say anything about it.

Staff there consisted of three types: the babysitters (I don’t know their real titles), mostly college girls who babysat us and ran the houses, the therapists/psychiatrists who ran groups and did individual therapy, and the nurses. There was a nurse on staff until 11 every night, because we all had hot girl stomach issues and sometimes hot girl heart problems. They took blood once a week and there was a doctor that saw you once a month or if you complained about something long enough. The babysitters were all really nice though some were less pushover-y than others (let you stay on computer longer etc). They said they did room sweeps once a week but I had contraband they never found. They also said we weren’t allowed to touch each other for more than five seconds at a time (I am the reason that rule exists haha) but like… you have a roommate for a reason!! (I’m not even talking about sex I just mean snuggling ;-;)

In terms of visitors you mostly only got your parents or if you were married your spouse, maaaybe somebody’s friends came once? But not common. You’re not allowed alone time with your visitors (like prison!) and anything they give you has to be searched by staff (same as stuff you order online or buy on the strip mall field trips). A lot of rules are very very strict because people with eating disorders are masters at worming their way out of things which sucks but makes sense.

There were some unsavory things that happened to me there that I’d like not to talk about here, just know that when you go, it’s very possible for staff to lie to your parents/caretakers to the point that they don’t believe you. It is very hard to leave once you check yourself in, and if you do leave before they let you, that’s called AMA and your insurance won’t pay for the part of your stay you did already (which for me was $2k a day. For four months). Once you go there you’ve basically handed over your rights indefinitely to the program in exchange for learning how to eat good and not die. Which is better than dying but not amazing either, but that’s the way it is.

Some other unintended side effects:

1. If you were scared of blood draws before you went in you won’t be when you come out.

2. You’ll be able to pee anywhere no more pee shyness. Along those lines we had to describe our shit every morning to the nurse in earshot of everybody? So you won’t be embarrassed about that any more.

3. You might forget to close the bathroom door the first few months you’re home.

4. You’ll become very attached to some foods in res and then when you get out can never eat those foods again. For me that’s biscoff cookie butter.

5. You’ll be WAY less on your phone. You’ll know how to sit and wait instead of going on your phone immediately for entertainment.

All in all I’d say you get more freedom than the locked ward and less freedom than rehab, but stay longer than both of them combined. Fellow patients are awesome, staff is a mostly positive mixed bag, and activities are dismal (eating).

I wish you so much luck in recovery. You can do this! Every meal is a new beginning. I believe in you!

A funny for you for making it this far: