#I would kick so much ass; I would make Choices; the design of my adaptation would be the Most

[tossawary]

I don't have a solid plot attached to this idea, I don't currently really have the desire to drop everything to go write "The Hobbit" fanfiction, but for a while I've had the idea of *gestures vaguely" some post-canon story (probably some form of fix-it) taking place before, during, and after a grand dwarven opera performance in Erebor.

Because I am absolutely certain that the Lonely Mountain had an absolutely stunningly beautiful Royal Opera House (and plenty of other, less grand performance halls) that, at the city's height, was putting at least one show every single day. Orchestral symphonies, operas and operettas, dramatic plays, dance performances... you name it, they had it and more. The various cultures of Middle Earth evidently ADORE music, dwarves absolutely included. The Company all bring instruments to Bag End to play and sing themselves off before their quest!

Also, beyond the music side of things, with how dwarves are named as master crafters? Smiths and toymakers and magicians? No way that they did not have some of the most gorgeous costumes, sets, and effects on the planet. Dwarves would go WILD with their articulated stage puppets, I know it.

One of my biggest issues with the film trilogy is that it failed to deeply explore the Company as people who had lost their home, beauty and culture included. Smaug not only killed countless people, entire families, and leave many of the survivors poor and desperate, the dragon went on to hoard their heirlooms and life's work and leave these priceless gold treasures UNUSED. It is an additional heartbreak to imagine Smaug tearing through Erebor neighborhood by neighborhood, house by house, so that he could tear out every gemstone in, say, mosaic made by someone's grandmother that sat above the breakfast table every morning. To think that Smaug in the aftermath tore magical lanterns off the walls, the sort that might have been decorated with animals or flowers, to make some daycare walkway just a little more cheery for the children, and in his greed left a dead city in the dark.

The live-action movies put both Smaug and the Balrog in these... absolutely enormous chambers that serve somewhat unclear purposes. The king's treasure vault and a former marketplace, I think? (Moria has been raised by goblins, I can forgive the emptiness.) It's a quick visual depiction of Thror's uncontrollable gold lust to give him a Scrooge McDuck room, sure, instead of anything with an actual organizational system (normally, I assume dwarves are big on sorting their vaults if they have one). Super big columns and hallways and staircases do somewhat effectively communicate the "lost glory" of Moria (I am very fond of these movies!!!), even if I also think it's not as interesting as it could have been. And the other obvious purpose of big, open warehouse-like spaces is 1) it's easier to animate the big creatures moving around in them generally and 2) it allows the films to show off the full-bodied visual spectacle of their big creatures.

But I think it would have also kicked ass to put Smaug in Erebor's former Royal Opera House or something, some enormous theatre decorated across generations. That could be big! The ART (statues, fountains, banners, windows, general architecture) that you could put on the exterior, which has had its face ripped open for the dragon to get inside? The ART that you could put INSIDE (mosaics, murals, and more) as Bilbo sneaks inside? Ohhh, you could include so many potential lore references with thematic relevance!

Also, Bilbo could get jump-scared by old articulated stage puppets or something. IT'S THE DRAGON-! Oh, no, it's some old opera prop. (Yes, we're talking more about an actual adaptation of "The Hobbit" rather than fanfiction concepts now.)

Sure, there's raw material treasure and coins hoarded here in this place, but there would also be musical instruments and toys and household tools and cookware and fancy dishes, wedding jewelry and anniversary gifts and family shrines and festival costumes, fountain statues and street lamps and mailboxes and business signs, and other evidence that people really LIVED here. These are all ordinary objects that Bilbo recognizes from the Shire.

We could tie these objects directly back to objects we saw featured in Bilbo's home early in this adaptation, which he was trying to "protect" from the dwarves during their "That's what Bilbo Baggins hates" song. There are half-burned portraits of people's late parents here too. Did he think that there weren't any dwarves who made doilies or handkerchiefs embroidered with flowers? Of course they made things like that too.

It's perfectly symbolic to, say, place Smaug's bed in an area like the king's throne room. The dragon is now the King Under The Mountain. But I think it would be deliciously haunting to have the throne room of Erebor be empty, the throne half-broken, the silver stripped from the walls and moved elsewhere, because Smaug doesn't care about Thror's old audience chamber. What's a dwarf king to a dragon? He burns the same as all the others. The dragon has instead made his bed in a beautiful public place of art and culture that was for the people, by the people, surrounded by the lovingly crafted belongings of the ordinary people he killed. Gold is gold to a dragon whether it's in a coin or a candlestick.

I think if you really want to sell one of the key messages of "The Hobbit", which in my opinion is: "If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." then you ought to throw yourself behind EREBOR being a place where food and cheer and song had value, not just the Shire. Thorin isn't lost at the end because he's a dwarf and dwarves don't value such things, but because he as a specific person who makes the mistake of weighing pride and gold over people, and he comes to regret that on his deathbed.

So, back to the fanfiction idea, I think that Erebor had music again in it as soon as dwarves started living in it again. It will take decades and decades before the Royal Opera House is half as splendid as it was before, and there is a performance there with beautiful costumes and puppets and sets comparable to those that came before, some traditional historical show that is part of specific seasonal holiday for dwarves. But that very first winter, when the future still looked grim, I think the dwarves cleared out a small stage and cast the roles of this traditional musical retelling of their history among them, based on who knew the parts best, because they aren't just miners and smiths and soldiers, and there was music again in Erebor that winter despite all the damage that the dragon did.

[jmflowers]

Cataloguing this life again cause I kind of can’t believe it’s mine. Sometimes I feel as though I haven’t done enough, or I’m not good enough, or like people are lying when they say I’m worth anything. But then I have days like today and it’s an oh. I’m capable.

So, todays project was called a “White’s Day”. My Cinematography profs make it happen at the very end of the final semester for students in my program at the college. Basically, they get a bunch of cinema quality gear for us to work with and give us a day to execute a short film shoot, adhering to a schedule of their making. It’s designed to be exhilarating and stressful and just a lot of fun. Tons of learning.

We got our script a week ago and broke down four scenes across a bunch of different teams - there’s about 40 of us in our final semester. I missed the production meeting, but a classmate reached out and asked if I was interested in joining him on the direction team. So, I was given a scene and had to break down how I wanted it to be executed.

Planning for it involved working through my pages - my scene had “3 7/8” (which means just under 4) pages - and deciding what sort of moments I wanted to emphasize, where tension could be added, and how I wanted the scene to feel. From there, I sat down with my co-director and we talked through the logistics of the blocking; where characters needed to be and why and how they would move through the scene. I wrote all these notes into a shot list and took them into a meeting with my DP.

DP, DOP, or Cinematographer are all just names for the person in charge of making the visuals happen for the director. I hand picked my DP because he’s a classmate I’d really been wanting to work with and hadn’t yet (and he has such an incredible eye with a camera). That was one of the best choices I made. He helped me transform my logistic vision into a storyboard and then into some of the most beautiful shots I’ve ever been a part of.

We brought that plan onto set this morning. I’d begged the production team to shuffle our schedule and put my scene first, as it was the longest, so we started the day in our location. It took a long time to get set, since we’re a team of students trying to corral each other. As director, I basically had to stand back and watch as they figured out the dolly and set up lights and all that jazz - director isn’t allowed to touch a thing. I was, however, allowed to watch the clock and see my allotted time ticking away.

In the industry, overtime happens a lot. You learn quickly that you must adapt as fast as possible. So, as time ticked away, I started mentally going through our planned shot list and began cutting what we wouldn’t need for coverage. This is where I was so glad to have a DP who was comfortable working with me; our rapport is good and so we pivoted quickly as a team (which can’t be said for other teams, who argued when in similar positions). We stripped our plan down to what was necessary and would allow us to still do the couple of shots we just knew would be fun to execute.

I also was doing all the normal director stuff we think of when we hear that word: communicating with actors about what I wanted, calling action and cut, choosing which shots I wanted and how to frame them. Lots of staring at a monitor and then giving instructions.

And we managed to wrap our scene on time. Despite not rolling until 27 minutes after our plotted start time. Despite a hold for some sound interference. Despite some elaborate dolly moves. I am so impressed with myself and my team because we pulled it off!

I am so grateful that I had the people I did working with me. I am so glad that my co-director is a kick ass focus puller and that he stepped up into that role at the last minute - I don’t know anyone else who could’ve done his job at the F-stop we were at. These guys made me look soooooooo good and our scene looks amazing and we all had so much fun doing it.

The final product of this is something I am going to be so proud to have my name on. I feel like I proved myself today, to my peers and my profs and myself. I am capable. I can do this.

And I can have the time of my life doing it!

[liunaticfringe]

(via Lucy Liu's Independent Woman - Interview Magazine)

There have been many great sidekick pairings in the history of modern literature. Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer, Phileas Fogg and Jean Passepartout, Winnie-the-Pooh and Piglet…the list goes on. Yet, it seems there has never been a delightfully tumultuous relationship that comes close to echoing the one embodied by rogue detective Sherlock Holmes and his faithful friend and assistant Dr. John Watson. Written in the form of short stories by Arthur Conan Doyle between the late 19th and early 20th centuries, the opium-den loving Holmes would terrorize London with his intellectual, astute, and stubborn prowess, with Dr. Watson providing medical expertise and chronicling their entertaining exploits along the way.

Doyle’s works have now long been entered into the public domain, with many film and television adaptions cropping up every few years. Still, when CBS announced in 2012 that it would be turning Doyle’s works into an hour-long crime-drama series titled Elementary, it elicited an unusually high response—this was mostly due to the news that a woman would, in fact, be portraying Watson. Her name would be Joan, not John. And she’s now a fallen from grace surgeon-turned-sober companion and private detective, forfeiting her “Dr.” title in the process. The woman chosen to take on this exciting, contemporary role of Joan Watson was none other than seasoned actress Lucy Liu.

Liu, who’s best known for her roles as a fierce and ill-mannered lawyer in Ally McBeal, an ass-kicking “angel” in the rebooted Charlie’s Angels, and an equally ass-kicking bad girl in the Kill Bill series, certainly provides the yin to the yang of Jonny Lee Miller’s gritty portrayal of Holmes. Elementary chronicles the duo’s relationship as they consult for the NYPD on various criminal cases while living in a shared brownstone in Brooklyn Heights. Initially starting off in Season One as a substance-free friend to the fresh-out-of-rehab Holmes with a keen interest in solving crimes, Watson quickly transformed into a sharp and observant right-hand woman who now clearly has the aptitude to work on her own. And it appears she’ll be doing just that—the end of Season Two left viewers witnessing Watson’s decision to move out of the brownstone and start a new career as a solo private detective, seemingly fed-up with Holmes’ erratic behavior.

The warm and delightful Liu recently called up Interview from her home in New York City to discuss Elementary’s upcoming third season.

DEVON IVIE: Were you on set today?

LUCY LIU: I was running around like a maniac, yeah. It’s beautiful today, it started getting a little bit cooler again. But of course I’ve been bitten by the two mosquitos that are still alive in New York City.

IVIE: I know you were recently at New York Comic Con. How was it?

LIU: It was amazing. It’s such a spectator place. Not only do you get super fans, but you also get people who are curious and inventive and imaginative. It’s fun.

IVIE: Did you run into any cosplayers dressed as Joan Watson?

LIU: Oh, no, I don’t know about that. That’s funny! We did a panel with a huge audience so I couldn’t really see if anyone was wearing anything specific, but it’s an excuse for kids and adults to get dressed up and just be crazy. You know you’ve made it when you have super-fans out there.

IVIE: When you first read the scripts for Elementary, what was it that attracted you to the role of Joan?

LIU: I liked the fact that it was going to be about [Joan and Sherlock’s] relationship and their friendship, and bringing that into modern times. And I thought it was wonderful to change up the gender.

IVIE: Did you immerse yourself in Arthur Conan Doyle’s work as preparation at all?

LIU: I did, I did! I started reading the short stories. I never read them before so it was a really great excuse to read them. I can’t believe it was written so long ago, because it’s so current. The characters are so colorful, which is why I think there are so many incarnations of Watson and Holmes.

IVIE: Do you have a favorite story? I love “A Scandal in Bohemia.”

LIU: There were some pretty amazing stories. The one that stood out to me, which was a Watson story that I got to know him a little more through, was “The Hound of the Baskervilles.” He really is on his own in that. Of course it turns out that Holmes has been there all along, but it’s interesting looking into his interior.

IVIE: Yeah, the entirety of “The Hound of the Baskervilles” is narrated just by Watson. And his diary and letters, too.

LIU: Yeah, I think it’s really cool. We started incorporating that into the show, too, the letters and journals.

IVIE: Has this detective genre always appealed to you? Did you grow up watching or reading detective whodunits?

LIU: I remember more of the old school Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys sort of thing. I also grew up with the Scooby-Doo mysteries. Remember when the villain would go, “I would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for you rascal-y kids!” Those were the kind of the things I immersed myself in. I have to say that my mother has always been a huge fan of Columbo and Murder, She Wrote, so this show was her dream come true. I don’t think she totally understood what was going on with Ally McBeal. [laughs]

IVIE: I’ve enjoyed witnessing Joan’s evolution throughout the course of the show, starting off as a sober companion and eventually ending up as a trusty sidekick and confidant to Sherlock. What can we expect from Joan in Season Three?

LIU: When you see them in the third season, you see some friction between the two characters. Joan is now on her own, she has her own detective agency, has a boyfriend, and has been without Sherlock for eight months. She’s got her own apartment, she’s settled, and he shows back up. I think she’s a little bit hurt by what happened and how their relationship and partnership ended, which was basically his decision and his choice, and he left it all in one little note for her. I think she felt that their relationship was much deeper than that, and that he was dismissive in the way that he handled that.

IVIE: How would you define the relationship between Joan and Sherlock?

LIU: I think that it’s a really positive and good relationship, overall. They really have a good chemistry together, work really hard together, and understand each other. They acknowledge each other and respect each other, which is a really important way to have a friendship. And they can learn from each other, you know? She’s very curious about him and I think he sees that she’s a very smart person—that’s vital for him in having respect for someone, having them be intelligent and thinking for themselves.

IVIE: Do you see any of Joan in yourself?

LIU: I do to a certain degree. She’s a lot more measured and patient, for sure. She’s a very curious person, which I think I am, and I think she isn’t afraid of change. She was a doctor, and then became a sober companion, and then jumped off and became a detective. I think sometimes it’s good to make big leaps.

IVIE: You’ve probably been asked this question many times, but do you think a romance between Joan and Sherlock could ever fittingly happen?

LIU: It’s a question that’s often asked and I think it’s really up to the executives. Rob Doherty, the creator [of Elementary] really feels incredibly strongly about keeping their relationship platonic. He has already taken great strides to keep the relationship as clean as possible according to the literature, but he has also changed so much of it by changing the gender of Watson. To have them have a romantic involvement would turn the whole thing upside-down in a way that might really jump the line. [Doherty] felt really strongly about it and I think that’s the one thing he really wants to stay true to.

IVIE: I totally agree. Even on the BBC’s Sherlock, there are campaigns to get Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock and Martin Freeman’s Watson to become romantically involved. It’s like, enough already, no!

LIU: No way, that’s so weird! People do have that level of friendship oftentimes, but it doesn’t mean it’s physical. I think that everyone just assumes because there’s chemistry the next thing should be happening. I would vote “no” for a romance. I think for sure the creator would vote no on that, too.

IVIE: I’ve talked to both women and men who watch Elementary, and they all consistently mention how well dressed and fashionable Joan is. Do you collaborate with the wardrobe department on styling decisions at all?

LIU: That’s awesome. Yes, I collaborate with Rebecca [Hofherr], who’s the costume designer, who’s wonderful. She’s very easy to work with. One thing we try to maintain about Joan and her style is that she’s a bit wrinkled, you know what I mean? Sometimes it looks like things are really put together, but we always want to make sure things aren’t too tight and are comfortable, kind of like she throws things together. We don’t want it to seem so business-y, so we go away from suits. Chic, but not corporate. Also just to make her seem like her outfits aren’t so put-together all the time. But I’m glad that people really seem to like it, it’s a relief! We don’t splurge a lot on the show, we try to do cheaper things, like things Joan would wear a lot. She wears the same white jacket and shoes frequently.

IVIE: Will we be seeing more of the infamous Clyde the Turtle in the upcoming season?

LIU: Clyde will indeed be in it again. We have to share custody of Clyde.

IVIE: Is it true that Clyde is actually two tortoises? Pulling a Mary Kate and Ashley in Full House on us?

LIU: Yes. It’s just like having twins on a show. Just in case one is crying and screaming and passed out or something.

IVIE: You made your directorial debut for an episode of Elementary last season [“Paint It Black”]. Do you have plans to direct an episode again soon?

LIU: That was so exciting. I’ll be directing another episode again very shortly in December, so you’ll be seeing it in a month and a half.

IVIE: Where did your interest in directing come from?

LIU: I guess I was curious about it. Having been in this business for a while, you kind of see and get a glimpse of everything doing film and television. I think it seemed like a natural progression to go into directing, and I hope to explore more of it, because it’s very exciting and a really good way to collide all the things that you’ve known and experienced in the business and put them all into one.

IVIE: Is there an ideal guest star that you’d like to see on the show in the upcoming season?

LIU: I would love to see Mycroft come back. I really think there was a wonderful tension for Mycroft and Sherlock as well as the triangle that occurred when Joan became involved with him. There’s something very deep about that relationship, and I also think that Rhys Ifans is a fantastic actor. He commands the screen, but off-screen he’s incredibly lovely. A real treat to have on the show.

IVIE: I remember the first few episodes that I saw Rhys in, I was like, where have I seen this guy before? So I looked at his Wikipedia page and it became obvious: he was the crazy guy from Notting Hill!

LIU: Yes, the roommate! So good! Everything he does, he just kills it, no matter the role.

IVIE: And it’s always good to have some MI6 action on the show, which Mycroft provided. Some international flair.

LIU: [laughs] International flair, exactly, some added spice. Just throw some spy stuff in there to throw people off their game. You just don’t expect it, you know? It came out of nowhere.

IVIE: That whole three-episode arc at the end of the second season…

LIU: That was awesome. I was lucky enough to direct one of those episodes, which is more narrative in tone. It’s more fun in some ways, too.

IVIE: You’ve done a range of acting work for both television and film. Do you now find yourself preferring one to the other?

LIU: I love both of them equally. The lack of predictability with television is something that’s constantly changing what your perception of who you think your character is. Suddenly I have a father that’s schizophrenic, or I discovered something else, or I have a relationship with Mycroft. The things that pop up and change the game for you and always keep you on your toes. The wonderful thing about film is that you have something that has a beginning, middle, and end, and you have a concrete amount of time to shoot it. And the process of that can be longer, like editing and advertising and testing the movie, so it’s very different. Television you just continue going, no matter what’s happening outside of your world. You get lost in that vortex a little bit.

IVIE: It’s interesting that America is now embracing the “mini-series” format that has already been so heavily utilized overseas, where there are a set amount of short episodes, and that’s it. In a way, it’s kind of like a cinematic experience.

LIU: I like that, too. It allows you to have a freedom of creativity and at the same time you don’t feel like you have to be contracted to something for that long; you’re really working on a piece of art. And then you’re done and you move on, or it comes back, like Downton Abbey. You don’t know. Those things become little masterpieces. The thing about television is that you see a range of actors now that you may not have seen five years ago even, 10 years ago absolutely not, and I think now there’s no wrong about doing television. There’s no definitive category for what kind of department you fall into anymore.

IVIE: What’s a fun, secret fact about your costar Jonny Lee Miller?

LIU: A fun fact about Jonny Lee Miller is that he oftentimes does handstands on a wall before he does a take, sometimes with pushups, to get blood to his brain and get him geared up for a long monologue that he may have. He stays there, hangs a little bit, and then turns around and does the scene. Most of the time in the brownstone more than anywhere else. He’s in full costume and everything. That’s trivia!

IVIE: I wish I could do wall-handstands by myself.

LIU: Oh my god, I need someone to push my legs up and then hold me there. I’m a cheat!

ELEMENTARY PREMIERES THURSDAY, OCTOBER 30 ON CBS.

[chainunited]

Hi i’ve been playing genshin way too much so i have some ideas for like. a genshin meets linked universe au where they all travel through teyvat and they have visions n stuff

I’m basing it off the ideals of the archon aswell as how characters with visions align with that of the chain

That being said, spoilers for genshin and all loz gams ahead!

Sky- Geo (Order/Contracts)

Odd since sky literally rode on the winds via his loftwing on his adventure, but He was already apart of this huge plan in the making set by Hylia long ago. Go defeat Demise, tailor the Master Sword, not to mention post adventure technically becoming the first king of hyrule and siring the royal line

I’d imagine his kit being Similar to albedo, with a sword and his skill being creating little floating island structures from out of the ground. His burst would be the same as his skyward slash, except after slashing it unleashes a densely controlled earthquake. The perfect support dps

Legend- Anemo (Freedom)

This was tough, but I think Anemo fits very well for him the more i think about it. Anemo is wind, and the archon himself lost someone he cherishes. Naturally everybody who possesses his vision will fall to this fate one day or another. He already has twice. First with his Uncle, second with Marin. He’s free from their ties, but never forgets.

His kit is unique. His skill is based off his wit, so dodging creates a shield that bursts when hit (similar to Beidou). His burst grants this ability for the whole team on a 3 charge basis. Very good support dps aswell and good for reactions.

Hyrule- Dendro (Wisdom)

I def see him having this since he’s very street smart (He’s a wandering traveler, no time for proper education!) and he’s already designated healer of the group. Thus he possesses a very rare element in the group, as if he didnt stand out already. 

He fights with a sword still, sure, but his genuine kit comes from him using his vision like a catalyst, with the thing swirling like a book would. Literally dendro barbara with his kit tho, Elemental skill creates a pollen feild that helps heal allies when he attacks, and his burst Is flora manifesting itself in his friends wounds to heal them for more. Healer #1

Twilight- Hydro (Justice)

From the moment of his adventure, he had a duty, it just got more furry and world saving as time went on. So, naturally his sense of right and wrong landed him with a vision he didn't even understand how to use. So he just doesn’t use it until he has to.

If he has to not use his sword, he’ll rely on making one out of water that he can hold. His burst is literally just him using his hydro sword to do everything in his power to just. kick ass. He doesn't use it that often. Would make a great physical dps tho.

Wild- Electro (Transcience/Eternity)

Tough again, but i think electro is the best for Wild for 2 reasons

His past self is different from his self now, yet they are the same. With the electro archon, she too was like this in a way. 2 different people, same alias.  Link from before represents eternity, forever fulfilling his duty as personal guard for Zelda and keeping himself quiet. His focus needed to stay forever sharp if he were to continue. Now, with little to no recollection of how he was, he can be free and live in the everlasting moment. His willing silence was just him not wanting to talk, not for his duty.

Because of Urbosa, his elemental skill sends a lightning strike down at enemies when he snaps his fingers, then attacks with his sword.  For burst, Like in HWAOC, His sword glows with purple electricity and smites whose ever in range. Combine this with all his usual shenanigans you can do in his game and it can be very deadly. very. deadly.  Good main dps

Wind- Anemo (Freedom)

This was so easy it was practically a win/win if i chose this HDHDH

Wind lost the King of Red Lions, someone he needed to travel with and bonded, and has the literal windwaker. So even outside this world he could manipulate wind to a certain extent. Likes to use it in non-battle situations, to atleast get a taste of what its like to soar like he did on the sea. Naturally hes very excited about windgliders also when he finds this out. 

Uses a sword still, but uses his actual windwaker as a catalyst. He points the baton in a certain direction, and it swirls in that spot. If he focuses long enough, he can send himself up into the air for some wild damage like venti. His burst is like the travelers, sending a small dense tornado in the direction of whatever's coming. Good for swirl effects

Time- Electro (Transience/Eternity)

Once again, easy pick, ESPECIALLY if im going with my “Fierce Deity literally lives in his head and has the option to front in time of need” Headcanon. 2 totally different people, same alias kinda. (FD kinda lives in his body now too so he has to share the name.)

Time’s elemental power is much more toned down, and really has to focus to get a good electro hit with his claymore. His burst Is like Razor’s, Manifesting FD into this electro form and fighting along side him.

If FD was in front, the power would be much more potent, perhaps on the level Baal’ has it. It’s not like his old powers, which he rather prefers, but its better than nothing. His elemental allows him to create electricity that procs on hard hits much like Baal, but his Burst sends down lightning from above like Sara. Also a good main dps

Warriors - Pyro (War)

Wars? Wars has passion. Wars has what it takes to lead an army...and set his cape on fire by accident. Especally now with his new vision which he uses...admittedly abit too much. No fire for tonight? No problem. Smithy cant bend his sword right during smithy? A little sizzle wouldn’t hurt.

It mainly comes from his sword, which drips flames like water does on a pole.  He uses his elemental skill to strike a seering blow to enemies. His burst Is much like a mix of albedo and bennetts, A slash downward sends shockwaves fo heat and flame towards enemies. Good support!

Four- Adaptive

Four, unbeknownst to the chain, has a choice between the 4. Why you might ask? Depends on whose fronting. So, to cover this up from the chain, He collectively goes with the notion that he’s “adaptive” as said by the locals, which is extremely rare.

Green- Pyro, for his dedication

Blue- Geo, for him being forced into this shit

Red- Dendro, for his sweet nature

Violet- Cryo, for his introverted mopeyness.

All of these channel into his sword for a hard hit, and all elements come together to create this powerful amalgamation of elements plummeting towards the target.

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 13 rewatch thoughts; the reduced salt edition

or at least I’m trying to be more constructive with the salt in this one let’s goooo

- god I miss the armourer so much. look at how fucking cool she looks, this is the mando design I hunger for so deeply, WHY would you give me boob plates back instead haha 

- I will say with the way it’s presented this place feels way too small to be called a city lol (and I think that limited scale hurts how much I’m willing to accept the magistrate as a credible opponent to go toe to toe with ahsoka freaking tano. maybe if we’d seen directly the extent of the magistrate’s power and influence and not just the burned out wasteland that power leaves behind I’d be more on board with it. canonically she’s clearly been extremely rich and influential on a galactic scale, while the aesthetic filoni takes from samurai movies in this has a lot more to do with local warlords and smaller stakes. this is not the only time the adherence to that aesthetic without adapting it for the emotional story at hand or giving it a spin for novelty hurts the episode #hot take. it’s empty homage without quite understanding why the moments you’re emulating work so well in the context of the story they serve.) 

this might be because how it’s filmed makes it seem like there’s just one big main street towards the magistrate’s palace, it’s implied to be quite a bit bigger from the establishing shot as the crest comes flying in? 

- LOVE the implication that din lets baby play with the silver ball pretty freely while they’re on the ship but sets the (completely sensible tbh) boundary that he can’t bring it with him somewhere outside where he might lose it for good. that seems like reasonable dad-ing, din, well done. 

anyway my heart is hurting because that silver ball is like a comfort item for the kid and it’s pretty clear from the very start that he has some kind of understanding of what might happen on this planet and so does NOT want to go out there, but also... that thing is narratively introduced as the baby’s way of saying ‘dad, don’t forget me, don’t go’. it’s what made din go back for him the first time, and that’s a connotation it still has both in the audience’s mind and for the characters. and I need to go cry in a corner for a while be right back

- not for nothing but in this scene of the baby being faced with din and a jedi standing side by side as if to present a choice, din literally has the sun right behind his head like some kind of fucking halo

 gee I wonder what the baby’s choice is going to be fsadfjkhasdkjfhs. (he! loves! his dad! so much!!!!!!!)

- I wish they’d done more with the bored punch clock villain, hey-I’m-just-here-for-the-paycheck-man vibe of the guard captain guy and maybe given his nonchalance a bit of a darkly comedic tint, I think it would’ve made a better moment when he’s facing off with din towards the end if he had more... character. make him a bit more of a dark mirror of the soulless gun for hire people have seen din as in the past (and as the magistrate seems to now), do something interesting here. maybe even make it more of a mexican standoff with him holding a gun on an innocent or something so there’s something here for din to lose, it still does the western thing and lets you have that ramping tension you need for when you cut between the sword duel and this. hell, have him actually give up and walk away to show that he doesn’t fucking care about any of this, he did evil for money without any driving passion or conviction behind it, and let din decide if he’ll let him walk away scot free or not after what he’s been part of, that’s a neat subversion of the trope as well! as it stands it’s just so... empty   

- baby says ‘mada! mada!’ again when they try to approach the vendor who appears to be serving foodstuffs! so maybe a word he has for food or maybe something like ‘lady person!’? (he says it when frog lady is gone on the ice planet and also as she’s walking into the razor crest for the first time. he did seem more interested in the eggs at that point, sooo lol)

din reacts to him speaking too, he glances down at him <3<3<3

- the baby seems to sense ‘ooof this is scary, time to hide’ on his own before they go into the magistrate’s place, din doesn’t appear to signal anything to him  

- there’s a lot of deliberate silence in this episode, but the sound design that gets space away from the music somehow isn’t as immersive to me as it usually is on this show? I have no idea why, though 

- ‘a jedi plagues me’ is somehow so fucking funny to me. the tl;dr for a lot of star wars villains through the ages

it also still cracks me up that din is immediately like ‘ma’am you can’t afford me’ fsdhfaskf

- I’m so happy din talks to and reassures the baby when he puts him down in these situations now, I remember being SO SAD when he didn’t back in chapter 7. he’s learning all the time!

- I think we should all be very happy this fight is cut off almost as soon as it begins, because I’m pretty sure ahsoka could kick din’s ass real bad and that would be terrible because I love him (listen din definitely has his moments, but up against a force user for the first time and said force user being one of the most powerful and battle-experienced jedi alive? probably not huh, if he survives that it’s on pure fatherly love and desperation and nothing else)

- this seems to be the baby asking ahsoka to carry him back to be with din (mando certainly seems to be what they’re ‘talking’ about right before) and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen 

din’s fingers are also doing the nervous curl-uncurl thing as she puts the baby down, and it remains the sweetest goddamn character tic, he’s adorable

in the long pause after he tells her “he needs your help” he’s sitting SO TENSELY, it’s only when she at least promises to test the kid that he relaxes a bit

baby (well, grogu, but he’s also baby) recognizes yoda’s name and seems to almost ask ahsoka ‘yoda is here???’, and her blink in response is like ‘no, I’m sorry’ 

- I still deeply dislike how it’s actually done in the episode, it’s so clunky and it annoys me on a craft level, but I do like the overarching thematic narrative of both mando and the baby being on this journey towards specificity and remembering themselves, of reclaiming the particular nuances of an identity that make up a self after a series of traumas have stripped it away from them. at the start of the show neither of them has a name (and din doesn’t even have a face) and they’re basically presented as broad archetypes, The Mandalorian and The Child. and now we’re slowly unearthing things that make them this specific child, grogu, this specific mandalorian, din djarin. it’s rediscovering parts of yourself you might have thought lost as you heal from trauma and I do like that very much, it’s touching and the emotional throughline this show should never lose sight of   

- oooooh no baby glances over at din when she asks him to push the stone back ;______________; it’s so awful because you can just tell... he understands that if he does this thing din might leave, but also people have clearly tricked him into using the Force before and given him this traumatized kneejerk association that if he uses it where people can see him Bad things might happen

oh okay so I think din just subtly misunderstands the baby’s appeal to him here, he thinks that look towards him means ‘dad help I don’t understand what’s being asked of me’. I guess he doesn’t have any way of knowing how complicated the baby’s past is with this yet, it’s a good try

- I’ve seen people take ‘he understands’ as baby understanding everything that’s said to him all the time, which is patently not true haha. he understands quite a lot, in the way toddlers actually understand quite a lot of what’s going on around them, even a bit of words spoken to them before they’re especially verbal themselves, but he clearly mixes up his colours still sooo

I also suspect he’s played this game before -- surely that must be one of the most obvious activities the jedi would do with the smallest children, playing Force catch basically? but he still doesn’t trust it, or her. (on the other hand he does trust that din would never hurt or trick him. help me I’m drowning in my own tears)   

- personally and from anything else in this show I don’t think din would be this impatient with the baby after hearing, less than half a minute before, that he’s terrified

but hey I’m not the man in the cowboy hat what do I know (yes I’m bitter characterization matters okay lol)

- it’s both funny and so sweet that the same music plays during this father and son playing catch scene as when baby lifted that mudhorn fkdfha

- for my money din reacts exactly perfectly to grogu finally Force pulling the ball -- he’s excited and happy, signalling that this thing doesn’t have to be scary and dangerous and that when shared with the right people it can be a good joyous thing, he moves over to the baby so they can share in this victory and attune, and crucially he doesn’t demand more afterwards, which the baby must have gotten before from some of the assholes who’ve been experimenting on him. it’s just the celebration and satisfaction of having done the thing without demands or threats or any ulterior motives. HIM!!! DAD!!!! 

tattoo this straight onto my heart... the way baby cheerfully offers it back to din... sdkjafhksdfhsakdjf 

- din breaths out roughly and unevenly through his nose almost like it’s been punched out of him and starts fiddling with the silver ball (which is still his primary tell for anxiety/stress!) when ahsoka says “he’s formed a strong attachment to you” :) listen if I have to know that all of you fuckers are going down with me 

- see the thing is... if you don’t know who ahsoka is in pretty deep detail, you might take her at face value here instead of understanding that she’s actually projecting her own feelings and traumas onto this. if you absolutely have to use this character for this part of the show you have to set her up better specifically so someone who’s never seen a single episode of clone wars can grasp the basics of where she is emotionally and what her motives are, so that her role in this story makes sense. as it is it’s sort of a compromise between pleasing old fans (who can do quite a bit of inferring to figure it out) and approaching audiences who don’t know anything, and it falls flat    

(for the purposes of this show I aggressively do not care where thrawn is, and so I’m just annoyed when we find out what this was actually all for haha)

- still feel reluctant to discuss too much about ahsoka because of the whole... situation with dawson, but I do like that she lets one of the guards leave after disarming him because he’s cowering and giving up, and that she still has her padawan braid wound into her belt. also I think the effects on her and her outfit are completely fine, my problems with her this episode are all writing craft and real life stuff 

- when you get first the jet pack sound, then din coming down kicking that dude in the face, then the mando flute kicking in as he lands properly... the only time the action in this episode made me go ‘fuck YEEEAAAAH’ it’s awesome

- again, just like with the idea of having a samurai/ronin movie standoff and a western standoff at the same time: having the scene be mostly silent except for the almost musical sounds of the light sabers hitting the beskar spear is such a cool concept, and it does not work in action. I don’t know enough about filmmaking to tell you why it doesn’t, but it doesn’t.

there’s also something about... the ahsoka vs. morgan scene apes the deliberately staged, ritualized, exaggerated almost like how you’d perform it in live theatre aspect of the duels in the genre, but in an empty way? why are they acting like this, what’s their relationship to each other, what’s their individual code of honour that makes them let the other person slowly theatrically disrobe before going for them? just plucking the aesthetics out of a tradition and plopping them down in your own thing without thinking about the whys or original context of it leaves it without meaning 

(also let morgan express something of her own character other than I Am Evil rather than having ahsoka drop the entire exposition on her. maybe you could have her snarl some illuminating lines while they’re fighting so you get the feeling of the bitterness and brokenness that has fuelled her and burned the woods of this whole planet. in some ways she’s not that unlike din and ahsoka, she lost everything in the clone wars too and was motivated very differently by it than they were, play that up so the situation’s relevant to our protagonists! I’m sorry for all this nitpicking but I HAVE to figure out how this could have been done better for my own sake haha)     

- ooooooh the way din says “I can’t accept” when offered the spear is in fact almost an exact echo of when the armourer offers him the signet in chapter 3! I thought it sounded familiar, it’s delivered in such a similar way. huh. din has some Feelings about earning things and when he hasn’t earned something, doesn’t he

- din also cares A LOT about not breaking his word, to the point of being willing to stoop to some quite dishonest methods to avoid giving his word in the first place, and I find it utterly delightful 

- baby closing his eyes again after din wakes him like he’s thinking ‘maybe if I don’t wake up dad won’t go’ or even ‘at least this way I won’t know it happened until later, when it’s over’... pure emotional torture :) thank god din’s entire soul is clearly howling in protest and he took the slightest chance ahsoka gave him to not actually go through with it 

- so this is the second time we get someone telling din he’s like grogu’s father. well, the armourer gives it more like a command/almost a religious obligation, ‘until it is of age or reunited with its kind you are as its father’, ahsoka is stating what’s obvious at this point but says ‘you are like a father to him’... maybe they’re doing a rule of threes thing and the last time it’s ‘you are his father’ and it sticks?

- anyway din cradling the baby so close to his chest with both arms all the time instead of the more practical way he carries him around in the crook of his arm sometimes... my suffering is deep and endless   

[the8thsphynx]

p,,, p l e a s e ? I mean, please don't feel pressured to tell us about Herc either though!!! but if you want to ramble about her I'll very happily listen,,,,, as a greek mythology buff with fate brain rot your Herc makes me,,,, very happy,,,,, 🥺

HECC YEAH!

Alright, so as a disclaimer, she looks Like That(tm) because I’ve had Heracles as an OC since I was like an 11yo, so LONG before I even knew Fate existed and I’m not planning on changing the way she looks to look more like FSF/FSN Herc.

I also think that the armor I already have designed on her looks closer to Achilles/Jason/Asclepius/Odysseus’s more mecha-centered looks for Fate Greek Servants.

Next, I’ve established that the reason she is female is two separate reasons, and this has to do with compatibility for Roleplay:

When I did roleplay with others, I just had it set that she was from Musashi’s timeline and she isn’t actually the Heracles/Alcides of our timeline.

For my personal writing, it’s like an Artoria situation where history chose to remember her as a man because misogynistic Ancient Greece being like, ‘well there’s no way a woman could be a child of Zeus and this powerful and skilled at being in charge, so you must actually be a man’.

Second Disclaimer: no one has permission to take my designs and recreate them or use them for RP or fanfics.

SO listed below are the major points about her history in this verse and also how she currently operates as a Servant!!

In her history:

Same song and dance as the beginning where her powers surfaced at a young age, so Chiron found her and took her in to train her to be a hero. However, the change-up here is that Zeus gifted Heracles a portion of his power when she was born because he had the intention of this child being the hero that would guide Greece into a new age as his tickcet for his bet with Hera (this was in the 12 Trials original writing). Basically she never had a choice on whether or not she would be a hero.

When she traveled to Thebes in order to attempt to enter the Thebian Army, a whole situation happened with a coup and an attack with a hydra from Lernaea that got lured to Thebes from a nest by the people doing the coup... It was an entire thing. Heracles defeated the hydra and helped identify the traitor guards, so she was able to prove herself to Queen Eurydice and King Creon, who immediately had her married to their son Megara (below).

(he may have been in line for the Thebian throne and an incredibly skilled warrior, but he was THE Malewife.)

A bit before she moved to Thebes, when she was staying in Athens, Eurystheus met her and fell in love with her, but when she rejected his feelings that was when Hera came to him and ‘chose him as her champion’ so she could start her dirty ass scheme.

Heracles had a happy and loving marriage with Megara and they had one daughter and two sons. She would frequently go out with the Argonauts, but always came home to them as soon as she got back on shore.

When the Hera Snake Shit(tm) happened, Heracles was... broken. After the fact, the shock and grief made her go mad all over again until she dragged herself to Thebes and tried to convince Eurystheus to execute her, but because he was in cahoots with Hera he forced Heracles to the 12 Trials instead to ‘redeem’ herself... and this shit lasted 12 years, btw. So that’s 12 years of retraumatizing herself by being forced to do these impossible feats to be forgiven for the murders she was forced by Hera to commit... on top of Hera also sabotaging the Trials wherever she could.

When Heracles completed the initial 10, Eurystheus tricked her into two more, and after completing those two she snapped and nearly killed him, screaming at him to free her. It was then that Eurystheus bitched out and confessed everything to Heracles; Hera’s hatred, her whole plan... all of it. Heracles then stormed her ass out of Mycenae and Thebes and never returned.

She spent the rest of her life until her death by Nessus being cruel, cold, and tyrannical. Heracles had 1 (one) last biological child that she left with a king who would eventually raise that child to found Sparta (Leonidas’s ancestor), but the rest of her very numerous children were all actually orphaned or less fortunate children that she adopted so they could claim the title of ‘child of Heracles’ to help themselves get ahead in life (this is where the Heracleidae came to be). Even so, she usually left them on their own and didn’t open herself to them as a mother-figure.

Her life as a Servant:

She may have manifested as an Avenger class, but this is because of Megara becoming a part of her soul and manifesting with her as the manifestation of her hatred for the gods; he’s made the active choice to turn himself into the arrow meant to kill Hera.

If it weren’t for Megara bonding with her Spirit Core, Heracles would qualify for Grand Berserker class. Because of this, Heracles still has a Madness Enhancement factor that will kick in when she encounters a god. Very similar to when Penthisilea goes buckwild at the mention of Achilles, except it only activates and makes her black out when she is face-to-face with and aware that someone is a god.

Despite being an Avenger, she has an incredibly sweet disposition, especially towards kids. A habit from her life that stuck with her as a Servant is that if she sees a child (Heroic Spirit or not) who has no parents or awful parents, she WILL adopt them and start calling them her child, and no, not in the creepy weird m*mmy k*nk way, foh. In some cases, she’ll just adopt someone because they look like they could be her child. One fucking hilarious instance of this is that she has adopted Archer Emiya even though he gripes all the time that they look the same age physically. Does she care?? NO, that’s her son, babey!

Her Noble Phantasms are the almost the same as FSF Archer Alcides, especially Reincarnation Pandora and King’s Order... and Reincarnation Pandora is actually the reason why she would up contracting with Goetia. But she also has the manifestation of all 12 Trials, albeit in a different form than what Archer Alcides can bring them forth as, and this is because by some handiwork by Daedalus, Heracles can alter the King’s Order to adapt to whatever situation she needs them for.

ex: Cerberus can become a motorcycle aside from also being a three headed hellhound and the famous Lernian Hydra can turn into a Mercedes Benz aside from also being the fuck-off giant Kinghidorah.

Daedalus messing with Heracles’s Noble Phantasms is the most shown in her (Daedalus is a woman in this verse bc fuk u) alteration of Nine Lives to be a multi-adaptable weapon with nine different functionalities that Heracles can flip them to at a moment’s notice. These alternate forms include: bow, twin swords, double-ended spear, polearm, long barreled rifle, twin short arms, bludgeon, battering ram, and can even conform to the braces on her arms and become gauntlets (yes, her and Ruler Martha would vibe).

(I realize that this isn’t the best design, I’m still working on drawing weapons)

Oh, I almost forgot about her other non-combatant quirk: she fucking LOVES blond men. If a grown dude is a blond and NOT a Greek-- regardless of anything else about their physical appearance-- it cranks their attractiveness scale up by at least 2 points for her. Goetia, Fionn, Arthur/Artoria, Gawain, Kintoki, Gilgamesh (he’s on thin fuckin ice), Jekyll, Goredolf... none of them are safe.

She also very much loves modern era fashion and dressing up. Heracles quickly befriends a lot of the female Servants/staff and goes on periodic ladies nights out with them.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Hol Horse

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

So last year I thought it was a good idea to try and review all of the enemy Stand users in Stardust Crusaders in a totally random order. The results were… mixed. Some of them I think came out okay, but others? Not so much. One of them was just an entire backhanded attack against some guy who decided to say “No one likes your analyses” because I think ProJared was a creep. It was, quite frankly, a mess, and I never bothered to revisit it and never thought I would, even though I still hadn’t covered the glorious, wonderful human being who is Hol Horse.

Well, now, after playing Heritage for the Future and All-Star Battle as well as just becoming a bit more knowledgeable on JJBA, I’ve decided to not only give Hol Horse his dues, but also at least briefly go back over or cover the other Stand users and give them a rating or an updated rating, as the case may be. So buckle in, this is gonna be a long one, and it’s all gonna start with everyone’s favorite incompetent henchman.

Hol Horse is probably one of the most amazing characters Araki has ever created. Hol Horse is in possession of a powerful Stand, The Emperor, which is literally a magical gun that fires bullets he can control the trajectory of. By all accounts, Hol Horse should be the single most dangerous foe that the Crusaders face, more than even Vanilla Ice. This guy should be able to shoot them all dead without a second thought! There’s just one tiny little caveat:

Hol Horse is a fucking moron.

This man is cowardly, incompetent, and just the punching bag of cruel misfortune as all his plans constantly go awry and he is constantly knocked on his ass. And yet, Hol Horse is still the most beloved enemy Stand User of Stardust Crusaders, and it’s not hard to see why. Because despite all of his bumbling, Hol Horse just oozes a sort of cool you just don’t see every day.

(For best results, listen to this the whole time while reading the following).

Motivation/Goals: Hol Horse is one of the few henchmen of DIO who is motivated purely by his own greed… at least, at first. Eventually he has his ass handed to him one too many times, and he decides to try and assassinate DIO. This goes about as well as you’d expect, and Hol Horse – not just part of it, the ENTIRE Horse – is so scared out of his mind that he decides, yep, loyalty to DIO is the way to go! It doesn’t work out, but hey, he tried, right?

Performance: Imami Williams gives Hol Horse that raspy, American charm he needs in the anime adaptation. With his voice and the animation combined, we get to see our favorite smarmy sharpshooter who can’t shoot for shit shoot his shot and miss every time, and it is simply glorious.

Final Fate: Hol Horse kidnaps Boingo and forces him to work with him to finally get his revenge! With the prophetic skills of Thoth and the raw damage that can be done with Emperor, there’s no way they could lose! And yet, as is always the case with Thoth, things go horrendously awry and Hol Horse, despite having the ability to control the trajectory of his bullets, ends up shooting himself and knocking him out of part 3 for good.

Best Scene: Really, just the entirety of the episodes where he teams up with Boingo, especially when he tries holding up Polnareff. Considering what comes after and what came before it, it’s just the dose of lighthearted fun needed before you watch all of your favorite characters get brutally murdered by DIO and Vanilla Ice,. 

Best Quote: There is only one line it could be, and it’s Hol Horse’s response to Thoth’s suggestion he kick a woman in the neck: “Listen, Boingo... I am the nicest man in the world. I have girlfriends everywhere. I might lie to a woman, but I'll never hit them! It doesn't matter how ugly they are! Because I respect women!”

That’s right, everyone. Hol Horse drinks Respect Women Juice.

Final Thoughts & Score: Hol Horse is simply astounding. The character is such a colossal screwup that he shouldn’t be as good as he is… yet he is. The dude is gifted with the most incredible power imaginable, and yet somehow he is never able to do a goddamn thing with that power! You control where the bullets go, dude! How can you not hit anything?! It’s interesting how his cowardice and lack of motivation makes him a perfect representation of the inverted Emperor tarot card, but hey, tarot motifs are par for the course with the Stand users.

But there’s something charming to how pathetic Hol Horse is. He’s always plying second banana, he’s a dirty coward who turns tail and runs when things aren’t looking good for him, he never wins a single battle, he didn’t even kill the one guy it seemed like he killed… but throughout it all he still has this sort of smarmy charisma to him that makes him impossible to hate. It’s no wonder this guy has girls all over the world, because he is a world-class charmer. There’s also how Hol Horse is just a character who really, really lives by his own personal philosophy – that is to say, he always likes to be #2, never going into a fight without backup. It’s kind of refreshing to see him always stick by this, even to his own detriment; it’s hard to hate a man who’s principled to that degree. And, of course, this man respects women. Good on him.

It helps that Hol Horse’s inexplicable popularity has led to him getting his time to shine in outside media. Heritage for the Future has two versions of him, his regular form and one that partners him with Boingo, and in skilled hands his Emperor finally gets to live up to its deadly potential. And he’s no slouch in his return appearance in All-Star Battle, and what’s more impressive is in that game he is part of the base roster while Joseph and Iggy, two of the main heroes, are relegated to DLC! You heard me right: the bumbling cowboy who did not win a single fight or even come close to it and spent a lot of time shooting himself managed to beat out out two iconic heroes from the same part onto the roster! Horsey Man must be doing something right.

As this video shows, Hol Horse is one of the most influential characters in the JJBA franchise, having helped to shape the franchise going forward and helped to inspire the traits that made beloved characters like Guido Mista, Gyro Zeppeli, and Yoshikage Kira as legendary as they are. Hell, Hol Horse is just so awesome he almost got to be a protagonist, but Araki decided that Horsey was too similar to my favorite big-titty Frenchman, Polnareff. This means Hol Horse never got his time to shine as a hero, and so stayed a villain til the end… but hey, can he really be that sad if he gets a 10/10 on Psycho Analysis?

Actually, maybe he wouldn’t like that. He likes to play second fiddle to others, after all. But I guess that’s just the curse with these JoJo villains who want to not stand out; they always end up being the best and most memorable characters.

Anyway, now that we’ve got the best of the best out of the way, it’s time for...

Psycho Analysis: DIO’s Other Henchmen

I’m just gonna give my brief thoughts on these guys. Most of them are pretty one-note oneshots, but there are a few who rise above that and manage to be something else entirely. These guys were a learning experience for Araki, and his enemy Stand users of the week definitely improved with later parts, with Vento Aureo really cranking it up to 11. 

But for now, we’re stuck with these guys.

Gray Fly: I actually stand by my opinion from my original review of him; he’s nothing incredibly memorable, but he’s a solid start to the adventure and he is directly responsible for diverting the journey onto the course it ended up going on. Without him, things would have likely played out far differently. A 5/10 is still a good score for him.

Fake Captain Tenille: He actually gets bumped down to a 2/10, due to my changes in how things are scored. He’s not amusing enough to be in the “So bad it’s good” category of the other 3s, he’s just really lame and forgettable, and he still somehow manages to lose when he has the advantage. What a dweeb.

Forever: If you think the monkey boat fight is dropping in score, you’re mistaken. Forever remains at an 8/10 for being such a delightfully weird curveball that helps set the tone for the franchise to follow.

Devo: One of the weirder playable character choices from Heritage for the Future, and certainly not one I like too much; he’s also a random event that is pretty useful in All-Star Battle’s online campaign, so that’s a good mark for him. If nothing else, he gave a good showing of Polnareff’s skills when under pressure, so… yeah. I think a 5/10 is good enough.

Rubber Soul: This review I regret because I was backhandedly responding to that guy who weirdly decided to bring up my distaste for ProJared in a review of Arabia Fats and Kenny G. I do mostly stand by what I said; Rubber Soul is one of the more amusing minor foes, if only because of his ridiculous performance as Kakyoin. Still, it really sucks he was just a clone character in Heritage for the Future… put he gets points for  having the iconic cherry-licking as a taunt. 6/10 is where he remains.

J. Geil: Again, my opinion hasn’t changed: J. Geil is a mountain of wasted potential, but at the very least he makes for a good antagonist for his brief appearance and hey, he’s the one who helped bring us the beautiful hunk of man that is Hol Horse, so I’d feel bad giving him less than a 7/10.

Nena: I honestly think Nena is one of the most boring Stand users of the part, which is sad because her episode gives Joseph the spotlight. She’s just really gross and uninteresting, and you’ll likely forget her after her episode is over. 2/10.

ZZ: ZZ is not particularly great, and his design is just there to be a joke, but it’s hard to totally hate a guy who manages to roll references to Christine, Duel, and the album cover for Eliminator by his namesake into one. I think he’s more of a 4/10, but probably on the higher end there. He’s not great, but he has enough going for him to keep me from hating him.

Enya: So if I thought that J. Geil was a waste of potential, I feel this even more so for his mother Enya. Despite being hyped up as this big, intimidating right-hand woman to DIO early on, she gets one appearance where her Stand is defeated by Star Platinum pulling a power out his ass and then is unceremoniously killed by Steely Dan of all people. I will give her this: her interactions with Polnareff are absolutely hilarious. But when all you have going for is some jokes, don’t be surprised when you end up with a 6/10, which you’re pretty much only getting because even despite the mountains of wasted potential you’re really not that bad.

She do be looking hot in the OVA tho.

Steely Dan: My opinion is unchanged; he’s a solid 7/10 oneshot douchebag. Nothing more, nothing less. His level in the PS1 game seriously blows, though.

Arabia Fats: I was too hard on this guy. While I meant everything I said, and his episode is boring filler, does it really make him a bottom of the barrel all-time worst villain? No. It just makes him a crappy joke character. 2/10.

Mannish Boy: I regret not getting to this guy last time, because aside from Forever he’s probably one of the most insane Stand user of the part, seeing as he is an infant. Like, he’s just an evil baby who can kill people in their dreams. And he gets defeated by being force fed his own crap. Much like Forever, it’s fun to speculate where exactly DIO found this guy; did he just go to a nursery and start jabbing babies with the Stand arrow? Did he meet this guy at a Cairo night club? What exactly is Mannish Boy’s origin? He’s just so utterly and hilariously inexplicable. He’s definitely a 7/10; he doesn’t quite have the shock factor that Forever did before him, but let’s not pretend an evil talking baby Stand user isn’t one hell of a weird twist.

Cameo: This guy really lives up to his name; his Stand is the one that gets the most screentime, with the actual Stand user being relegated to a – you guessed it – cameo appearance at the end of the fight. Thankfully, his Stand is an enjoyable take on jerkass genies and gives a pretty sad and disturbing episode that not only features my man Polnareff, but also marks the point where Avdol returns and brings “Hell 2 U!” I think he deserves at least a 7/10, even if this is mainly for Judgment. Still, a Stand is a representation of the user’s soul, so I think it works out.

Here’s the Stand:

And here’s the man behind it:

Midler: Midler is one of the single most interesting characters from the pre-Egypt half of Stardust Crusaders, and is the point where Stand users really started to get interesting. Her Stand, High Priestess, has a really funky and unique design, and her battle serves as the final roadblock before the Crusaders arrive in Egypt. Despite never appearing onscreen, with only her unconscious body being shown at the end of the fight in a way that obscures her, she got to appear in Heritage for the Future with an awesome sexy belly dancer design and a badass moveset that makes her a really fun character to play as. Taking everything into account, I think she just barely scrapes into the bottom of the 8/10 pool, though really this is mainly for her playable appearance.

N’Doul: My opinions really haven’t changed on him. He’s still an 8/10.

Oingo & Boingo: These guys are, in a word, hilarious. In between the grueling, brutal fight with N’Doul and the later fights in the part, these guys bring some much needed levity to the proceedings. Oingo gets an entire episode where he just completely bumbles about as he attempts to impersonate Jotaro to assassinate the Crusaders, failing at every turn and only managing to blow himself up in the end. Boingo fares a little better, eventually getting roped in to Hol Horse’s scheme to get some revenge, which leads to one of the funniest episodes of the entire series as Hol Horse and Oingo hold up Polnareff. I think they collectively get an 8/10 for being two of the funniest Stand users in the part. They even get their own unique end credits in the anime (with Hol Horse joining in on the fun when he teams up with Boingo)!

Anubis: Again, my opinion is unchanged, though I must say him having technically three playable appearances in Heritage for the Future does make me have at least a little more fondness for him. Black Polnareff, Chaka, and Khan are all amusing characters to play as and all have some awesome theme music. Introducing the concept of Stands being able to exist independently of their Original user is pretty neat, as well as the idea of a Stand that can switch users like it does. 7/10 is still what I’d give it, but I think that it’s pretty telling that this is probably the “weakest” character in the Egypt arcs in terms of being a villain, and yet he’s still pretty cool.

Mariah: Completely unchanged. She still deserves an 8/10, because her episode is hilarious, her playable appearance in Heritage for the Future is a blast, and she’s just really frikkin’ hot. I’m not gonna lie, she’s probably my second favorite enemy Stand user out of the Egyptian ones. I may or may not want her to step on me.

Alessi: I’m going to be honest here: Alessi is my favorite of the Egyptian Stand users. He’s an ax crazy coward with pedophile undertones who is just an utterly demented and sick individual with a seriously intriguing Stand that de-ages its victims. It’s a damn shame he never crossed paths with Joseph and de-aged him, but when he’s just such a hilarious and hateable lunatic with an incredibly fun playable appearance in Heritage for the Future (complete with awesomely creepy theme music!) it’s hard for me to give Alessi anything less than a 9/10. Attaboy!

Daniel J. D’Arby: My opinion is honestly unchanged, but I think I’d bump him down to an 8/10.

Pet Shop: Again, unchanged really. It’s hard to give a character as busted as he is in Heritage for the Future anything less than a 9/10 any way you slice it.

Telence T. D’Arby: Opinion unchanged, 8/10. I don’t have much else to say here, besides Xander Mobus rocks.

Kenny G: See Arabia Fats above. I got irrationally mad over a dumb joke character. He’s not going above a 2/10, but he’s not worth really getting mad about.

Vanilla Ice: I still think he’s the only enemy Stand user besides Hol Horse who deserves his 10/10. My opinion of him remains unchanged, but I would like to say he’s easily one of my favorite characters to play as in All-Star Battle.

Nukesaku: Ok, he’s not an enemy Stand user, he’s just some weird vampire… zombie… thing. Still, I feel he’s at least worth briefly mentioning, if only because he’s probably the only easily-defeated joke villain Araki did from the first three parts who is particularly memorable. Wired Beck and Doobie are really not all that memorable, but Nukesaku at least elicits a few chuckles – he even gets cameos in Heritage for the Future as well as getting to be a stage hazard in All-Star Battle. For what he is, I think he deserves a 5/10.

And with all these enemies taken care of, that just leaves one more Stand user to talk about.. one whose Psycho Analysis has been sitting in my drafts for a year now...

[duhragonball]

State of the Damn Wienerfic

I’ve finally finished the “thousand years ago” section of my OC’s backstory, which is a big relief to me.    The first 141 chapters of Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan were intended to develop the title character as a protagonist in her own right, and not just a guest star or supporting player to the main cast, like Tapion in “Wrath of the Dragon”.   I was always worried that I’d meet some untimely end before I finished, and no one would know how things turned out for her.  

From 142 onward, I’m flashing forward to the events of Dragon Ball:Xenoverse.    It’s not going to be a total adaptation of the game’s story mode, but I did like the notion that if I ever reached this point, the fic has a tenative ending, and a curious reader could run Xenoverse 1 on Steam and get a general idea of what happens next.   But I’m still alive, so I guess I’ll go ahead and write my version.  

It’s still surreal to me that I’ve reached this milestone.   I’ve thought about it for so long and now it’s here.   I wrote the bulk of #142 last November, and some other material that still needs to be organized, and my goal for this year’s NanoWriMo is to plow forward.   A lot of things will be different, and I think one of them is that I feel like I can be more open about the creative process.   So if you want to see how the sausage is made, click the read more.    If you’d rather see how crayons are made, watch this video below.   

There’s a Sesame Street version of this, but those are all orange crayons, and I like yellow better.    Also I like the way Mr. Rogers says “crayons”.

All right, now that those weird crayon people are distracted, let’s talk about Luffa.

I came up with the idea around 2004, I think.   DBZ was done airing in the U.S., and I wanted to write some sort of fanfic about it, but I was having trouble coming up with ideas.    I felt like the main story had wrapped up very well with Z, and GT only seemed to prove that you can’t top the original story.    So I started thinking about the lore, and that led me to the Legendary Super Saiyan that Vegeta spoke of in DBZ Episode 66.  

There were a few things that bugged me about the DBZ fandom at the time.    Mostly I was just reading the GameFaqs boards to find any hot scoops about upcoming DBZ games, and no one really knew much of anything, so the board was mostly guys shooting idle speculation back and forth.   Occasionally someone would bring up the fact that we never saw any female Super Saiyans, which led some to suspect that such a thing must be impossible.    The one explanation that stuck in my craw was that “women can’t get angry enough”.    Usually, misogynists are always saying women are too emotional to do anything else, so by that logic, you’d think it would be much easier for Saiyan women.    They’d just flip out whenever a stray laser bolt fries their hair, like Daphne Zuniga in “Spaceballs.”

The other thing that bugged me was the Broly-worship in some circles.   One way or another, Broly hype reached American fans well before the Funimation dub of Movie 8.   I remember the official promotions from Funimation acknowledging that fans kind of already knew who the guy was.    For a few years before 2003, I think Broly became this mythical figure, like your friend whose uncle works for Nintendo, or “Q” telling 4-chan all about how everyone you don’t like is going to get arrested soon.     I’m pretty sure this is why you can still find Broly fanart where he’s beating up Galactus, Kid Buu, and Superman, to name a few.    I think a lot of fanboys got it in their head that Broly could kick anybody’s ass, which is weird because he can’t even win in his own movies.   

I think even the official stuff played into this idea, since Broly would often be used as a special bonus boss in a lot of video games, so you beat Kid Buu and then hold on, now you have to fight Broly.   So it’s not hard to get the vibe that he’s the real final boss of everything.    I’m curious how the 2018 version of Broly will affect the perception of the character, but it’s probably too soon to tell.   In the mid-2000′s, though, it felt like a lot of people believed that Broly was a more legitimate Super Saiyan than Goku or the others, by virtue of being green and irrationally violent.  

So this was on my mind when I thought about what to do with the Super Saiyan from 1000 years ago.    I felt like there were people who wanted to believe that this character was a lot more like Broly than Goku, which is dumb, because the whole point of Super Saiyan Goku was that he was taking on the same role as the last guy.   And, for my money, the moral of Goku going Super Saiyan was that he was the only Saiyan of his generation who understood the same thing all the old Super Saiyans did.   Something about his upbringing on Earth helped him reach that level.    All the other Saiyans were too contaminated by their own culture of ruthless dickery.  

And so I thought that it would really flip the script if I wrote a story about that Legendary Super Saiyan and made him very different from the fanboy perception of Broly.    And I’d make him a her, just to twist the knife.  Not only is this not Broly, but she’s one of those women Super Saiyans everyone thinks can’t happen.  I doubt anyone from GameFaqs in 2007 would even notice my fic, but I’d like to think they’d be pissed about what I’ve done. 

I tried writing some of this down in 2006, but I didn’t get very far, mostly because I was intimidated by the scope of the idea.   I didn’t think I could do a long story, but I wasn’t sure a short story could get the idea across.   So I just didn’t do it at all, and kept thinking about it from time to time.    I wanted to make Luffa as a custom character in a video game, if they ever made a game with CAC features.   Ultimate Tenkaichi had it, but you could only make a Saiyan man... which just reinforced my motivations for doing this kind of a story.   

Finally, Dragon Ball Xenoverse debuted a more robust CAC feature in 2015, and I could design the character properly.   I didn’t have much in the way of ideas, so I just sort of let the gameplay take me where it would.   The game is set in the future, and Trunks just wishes for an ally, so who’s to say that this ally couldn’t have come from the past?    You do a lot of grinding in the game, and there’s a lot of exposition, and that gave me time to think about what what Luffa had been doing right before she got to this place.   And slowly, I started to iron out what I wanted to write.   

Her costume was just a convenience, really.    I went with short hair because the long hair doesn’t “float” when you go Super Saiyan in the game.    I wanted some sort of old-school looking armor, but everything in the game was based on costumes from the show, and the “Saiyan” armor in DBZ was Frieza’s thing.   It wouldn’t have existed a thousand years earlier.    I might have gone for something like Cabba’s outfit in Dragon Ball Super, but that wouldn’t be available until a few years later.   So that left me with a choice between a baggy martial arts dogi or the skin tight Pilot Suit.    The Pilot Suit is kind of... distracting, since it’s just a skin, and the developers make you stare at the character’s ass the whole time.    On the other hand, a baggy dogi kind of made her look like Cell Games Gohan.   So I went with baggy pants and fitted shirts.  

The black and yellow color scheme was mostly so I wouldn’t confuse my character from the others appearing on the screen during fights. That ruled out purple, orange, and blue, since the Z-Fighters wear those.   I resisted yellow, because that’s my favorite color, but later I realized black and yellow is perfect, because that’s the color scheme of the giant ape in Vegeta’s flashback.   

Playing the game helped motivate me to actually sit down and write the story, because I finally had a fleshed out character that I could see and do things with.    And making her fight DBZ characters got me to consider how she would react to those concepts.   Would she respect Vegeta’s royal bloodline, or would she be unimpressed like Goku?    How would she feel about Frieza’s destruction of their home planet?   Would she even recognize it as her home planet?   How does she feel about the fact that no one remembers anything about her?   

My goal for the first 141 chapters was to build a world and a backstory that would set up the answers to those questions.  The villains in that part of the story are all misogynists of one stripe or another.   They view women as tools to be exploited, or as enemies to be eliminated, or as distractions to be ignored.    They see Luffa doing her thing and they all say “She can’t do that,” and then she does it harder.   

Now that I think about it, I suppose the appeal to the character, and the thing that frustrates her so much, is that she’s just trying to be herself, but all these buttholes in the universe are outraged by it, and yet they just can’t stop her.   They want her to die, or go away, or become something else, something they can accept, but she just refuses to do that, and she’s got the raw power to tell them all where they can shove it.   This whole thing is my ham-fisted attempt to write a feminist allegory with Saiyans in it, and I’ll never be good enough to get it exactly right, but you know, it’s not as hard as I thought it would be.    Along the way, some LBGT stuff started to get into the mix, and I thought “Well, I’m really in the deep end of the pool now.”    I’m sorry if I got anything wrong, but I think I did okay.   I’m not breaking any records, but I managed to avoid drowning, right?  

Anyway, that’s why the Saiyans hate her guts, because all the Saiyans in DBZ resented Goku as being weak and worthless.    Even when Goku surpassed Vegeta, Vegeta still thought he lacked the killer instinct to be a “““true”“““ Super Saiyan.    Luffa’s got plenty of killer instinct, but the Saiyans hate her out of jealousy and fear.    Vegeta accused Trunks of lying about being a Saiyan, because his hair wasn’t the right color.  I wanted to make a whole population of Saiyans who would quibble over those kinds of details.    “The stone the builders have rejected has become the capstone.”   

This is also why I made the Saiyan King the main villain, because I wanted to echo Goku’s conflict with Vegeta, and King Vegeta’s conflict with Paragus and Broly.    If there’s a Super Saiyan every thousand years, then what happens to the second strongest Saiyan whenever that day comes?    Does he stand aside like John the Baptist, or does he refuse to accept the changing times?  

The purpose of all of this was to explain why Vegeta remembers the legend of the Super Saiyan, but nothing about the person.   Why doesn’t he know Luffa’s name, or what color her pants were?   Because his ancestors hated her, and suppressed the parts of her story that they didn’t like.    Even as Vegeta recalls what little he knows, he thinks “I never actually believed it.”

Okay, but Luffa had friends, right?   Wouldn’t they have left a record for future generations?    Well maybe, but how long would it take to fade into obscurity?   And Luffa’s kind of a private person.    Everyone in her inner circle avoided the spotlight.   There’s a move about her, but it’s filled with wild inaccuracies.   Eyewitnesses to her battles can only describe a glowing blur.     Close-up footage just shows an irritable Saiyan woman with a strange dyejob.   Most civilians find regular Saiyans to be pretty extraordinary as they are.   A Super Saiyan doesn’t seem that much more impressive.  

What you wind up with is this legacy of battles that were fought and won by a single, mighty warrior, but no one can agree on what that warrior was exactly.   At some point, enough time passes where the Saiyans are willing to reclaim the legend.   “Yeah, that guy had to be a Saiyan.      Who else could do all those things?”   But the things she stood for and learned along the way, that’s all lost.    

I just didn’t think it’d take me 647,471 words to explain all of that.  But now I can finally write the part with all the popular characters in it.   Right now, my big problem is that I have to slap together a few more OC’s and I need to figure out just what the hell Towa’s deal is.   The Dragon Ball Wiki attempts to explain whatever happens in those Dragon Ball Heroes games, but it doesn’t seem like they wrote any of it to fit a coherent narrative.    I’d like to use as much official Demon Realm lore as possible, if only because that’s what Towa and Demigra’s fans would be familiar with, but I’m not sure how this is going to look.   I mean, they’re gonna get an ass-whoopin’, I know that part, but I’d like to flesh out their characters before the beating starts. 

Anyway, I got my work cut out for me.  But at least the soundtrack will be epic.

[peremadeleine]

The Empathetic Dog Thief, Episode 1

Alternative titles: “Will: Deer Hunter and Dog Dad,” “Crimes Against Costuming,” “What Year Is It: A Crime Drama”

Armed with a gin & tonic and one sleepy cat, I finally gave the NBC show another shot.

I didn’t know Will had a superpower. Cool...?

How come he’s play-acting the murderer, though? Just because he can think like a killer doesn’t mean he needs to be reenacting it himself. That’s just confusing for the audience?? The way they did it in the Red Dragon movie was still effective without coming off as “aw, Will’s playing serial killer”

“This is my design” what

Plaid shirt and striped tie, truly a costuming sin. I didn’t love Will’s “modern wild west” costume vibes in Red Dragon, but it was better than this.

Don’t pretend that Jack and Will don’t know each other. Hate that.

Do look forward to hearing how many different ways people can pronounce “Graham” though.

Oh boy, why does Crawford push Will’s glasses up on his face while murmuring “hey” softly like a lover?? They’re strangers. That was mighty uncomfortable.

is he just assuming Will is on the spectrum? Right after they met???

and then Will confirms, but wait, he just has an “active imagination”?

STAY IN YOUR LANE

at least in canon Crawford doesn’t take advantage of people on the gd spectrum, and he spins it as being for the good of the victims. jfc.

“based on the characters by Thomas Harris”

Of course all the victims in the first episode are going to be women

“it’s not about all of these girls, it’s about one of them”--seven minutes in and they’re already ripping off Silence.

“he’s like Willy Wonka. every girl he takes is a candy bar.” no. nO.

“I mean, I would. Wouldn’t you?” no Will, Crawford’s a douchebag, not a murderous psychopath.

8 minutes in, me: WHERE’S THE TITLE CHARACTER THIS IS B O R I N G

“Why is it now a crime scene?” Because Will says so and he’s his own forensic team, apparently. Next question.

Also apparently he only owns red plaid-print shirts. Huh.

Lol Will has empathy for everyone but a grieving father confronted with his daughter’s dead body???

I don’t like the way Crawford is speaking to Will one bit. It’s supposed to be sensitive, but it comes off as condescending and mollycoddling. Ew. That is SO not Jack Crawford.

"You wrote the standard monograph on time of death by insect activity"?!?

so Will IS his own forensic team. Weird flex, but okay.

Antler velvet. Christ, HERE WE GO.

“You not real FBI?” Rip-off of Silence #2!

“You unstable?” Stop coming at Will, Jesus!

Will is a serial dognapper. SIX DOGS. Maybe, maybe, people in this neighborhood are missing their gd dogs, you monster.

none of them are even UGLY dogs

Will’s also drinking tho. One point for Gryffindor.

Oh, another plaid shirt. At least this one’s got a nice pattern. And isn’t red.

The bathroom is painted red, tho. What is it with Fuller and red walls?

Hugh Dancy’s American accent slips when he tries to like...emote. Yikes.

Strangulation is neither quick nor merciful.

A forensic specialist who wears her long-ass dark hair loose down her back and shoulders in the lab should be FIRED.

Implied “we covet what we see every day” scene: Silence Rip-Off #3

nineteen minutes in, me: W H E R E  I S  H A N N I B A L this is false marketing

Okay, I actually kind of like the “okay, I can cover him 80%” scene. Crawford’s real good at fucking up people’s lives in order to save lives.

twenty-one minutes in, me: HANNIBAL’S HERE THANK CHRIST

will probably regret this thought later

it’s okay, Hans. I, too, hate the career choices that have led me to this point.

the fact that he has tissues by HIS chair in his office is fuckin’ hilarious, what a douche, I love him

same, tho

The costumes and sets and cars are all screaming 70s/80s. But smartphones!

I’m watching this pretty late so my volume is a bit low and I cannot understand 70% of Hannibal’s dialogue, uh oh

Hannibal is supposed to be short so I don’t think this little “oh Crawford confused the short weepy patient with Hannibal” bit is that cute...I’ve always felt like Mads was poorly cast for that reason, among others. Oh well.

I take it all back:

HIS FACE

“No secretary?” “She was predisposed to romantic whims.” Not sure whether I like this line because Hannibal’s the one acting on whimsy or if it makes me cringe because of the way they’re dismissing Hannibal’s former secretary. Hmm.

“Are these yours, doctor?” a) Duh and b) Silence Rip-Off #4

Why the fuck does Crawford think he can just examine Hannibal’s papers? Like?????????

no wonder he hates your rude ass, Jack

HANNIBAL WHY IS WOUND MAN LYING ON YOUR DESK YOU PRECIOUS IDIOT

“Very interesting, even for a layman” Wow, unexpected Red Dragon rip-off (by the Red Dragon adaptation) #1

this whole scene is made of cringe HELP

why is Hannibal dressed in his Easter Sunday suit

Tattlecrimes.com. I’M SPEECHLESS at the stupidity of that.

tabloids are, in fact, still a thing in the Year of Our Lord 2013

No way is Hannibal fucking Lecter going to drink the swill that probably is Jack Crawford’s coffee, as if.

“Not fond of eye contact, are you?” Yes, Hannibal is the only character who should be canonically coming at anyone like this. (But also poor Will.)

But Will, at least look in his direction while he’s talking to you? I also don’t love eye contact...it’s rude not to even look at a person, though.

Hannibal finally used a contraction! He’s human after all. (This is a common Fanfic-Writing-of-Hannibal problem. I used to have it, too. You think to emulate him you have to write lofty, staid dialogue. But we’re talking about Hannibal the Punmaster General here.)

“This cannibal you have him getting to know” I’m sorry, who said anything about cannibals???

Stop incriminating yourself Hannibal honestly

Wait, is the implication that the victim whose lungs were taken is Hannibal’s? I hope not, because what would he be doing in Minnesota, and since when did Hannibal cut people up alive (Krendler notwithstanding--he’s a special case), especially women????? He’s a Monster(TM), but not a fucking sadist.

Will’s wardrobe also contains gingham!

no really, when did they determine that the serial killer was a cannibal?? did I sleep through that part?

“have Dr. Lecter draw up a psychological profile” bitch, please. Dr. Lecter doesn’t work for Crawford.

I don’t like hearing/watching people eat, especially in quiet moments. That’s going to become a problem in this show, isn’t it?

Will’s dream dear is fucking awful CGI. Wow.

That brown blazer--Hannibal would never.

EVERYTHING about Hannibal that should be black--his clothes and his hair--is brown here. It’s...weird.

to quote @random-emerald-thoughts​, “my homocidal boy aint about that tawny bullshit”

Hannibal Lecter: food snob--that’s canon. 

Don’t like this dialogue, though. And Hannibal bringing anyone he just met food in glorified Tupperware rings very false.

“Uncle Jack” what the fuck

Wow, Fuller jumped directly into the teacup thing right from the start. Yikes. He clearly didn’t understand it. (Clarice isn’t the teacup, bro. The teacup represents time, and disorder, and will it ever be reversed?)

Lots of weird metaphors in this episode overall, though none as bad as the Willy Wonka thing.

Why is Hannibal in Minnesota? Is he a crime-scene investigator now? Is he on the FBI payroll? Doesn’t he have patients with appointments to keep? Social obligations? I HAVE QUESTIONS.

He’s not a priss or a germaphobe. DISLIKE.

Do like the phone call. Just fuckin’ carelessly with people’s lives for the fun of it, that’s our Hannibal.

FBI? Are you FBI, Will?

He shouldn’t have been issued that sidearm if he can’t hold it steady.

One shot would have been plenty. Maybe two. Jfc, the reason Clarice shot Gumb so many times was because he was going to shoot her. Hobbs had a knife, which he dropped, and he was incapacitated by the first/second shot. Silence Rip-Off #5

How the fuck is he still alive and talking?! Will plugged him about eight times!

Call the police, Hannibal, or the ambulance, or take off your jacket and provide first aid to this girl. You’re a doctor!

It really is like he wants to be arrested or something.

And then he gets to ride in the ambulance?? Just Because?

Overall, it was...not very good, imo, poorly paced, very poorly written, with acting that jumped wildly from “very good” to “awful,” sometimes from the same actors. Intense cringe throughout a lot of the script. Ripped off Silence of the Lambs, a superior movie about many of the same characters, way too many times. Will is boring and I don’t care about him, but then I also don’t care about canon Will. And I still think Mads Mikkelsen was poorly cast as Hannibal...the costumes aren’t doing him any favors, either. We’ll see if he can bring me around.

Some moments of genuine humor that I appreciated, though, and some nods to the canon that I grudgingly appreciated, too, including Hannibal being a dick and Jack Crawford fucking up people’s lives.

Hopefully if you made it this far into my observations you got a kick out of them. I probably won’t go into this much detail for every episode, but I do intend to try to watch at least all of Season 1.

Painful as it might be.

[acklest]

Jensen Ackles, AU!Michael!Dean, 14x10: Nihilism (and rambling about “range”)

Jensen was so fucking good, don’t even touch me right now, don’t even look at me. I mean, he’s always good, but with this episode, he kicked it in the ASS.

I don’t feel like I have enough WORDS for it. Behind a cut while I prattle on. (None of the gifs used as examples are mine.)

I watched the episode multiple times to see what Jensen was doing as Michael that so wasn’t Dean Winchester, because he was so fascinatingly NOT Dean. I know there are certain style choices that lend themselves to the differences, like his hair being parted on the other (wrong) side and the painstakingly dapper suits and the newsboy cap. Dean Smith (4x17: It’s a Terrible Life) had his hair parted on the wrong side, too. It’s some easy shorthand for “hey, something about this isn’t quite right.” (Like the French cuffs didn’t give it away.)

Demon!Dean was just Dean without the moral center. He was fun to watch, don’t get me wrong, for the brief time we got him. MoC!Dean was actually closer to what I thought Demon!Dean was going to be, so I enjoyed him more. Watching MoC!Dean massacre the Stynes was epic and so satisfying (and tragic I know because of the kid, I’m not like yay murder). As much as I love the real Sam and Dean, and I’m always happy when they get back to who they really are, these dark side digressions are so much fun because we get to see Jared and Jensen show off.

But there’s more to it than that. Jensen has said that his approach to each new script is instinctive (reads the script once or twice and decides what he’s going to do) and Jared is intellectual (reads it multiple times to feel like he’s really soaked it in). But here, I feel, Jensen has made some very deliberate choices. 

First, A Tangent: I watch different Dark Angel vids on Youtube and there’s usually a comment somewhere about how Alec and Dean are basically the same character, or Alec is Young!Dean. They don’t (always) come right out and say, “He can only convincingly play Dean-like characters”, but the implication is there. The two characters have some superficial traits in common, like sarcasm, physical comedy, Jensen’s face (can’t be helped). But even his face doesn’t really come into it once you hit the latter half of S1 because Jensen’s face changed a lot in the interim. His jaw got stronger, his face got broader. So I watched an episode of Dark Angel and immediately watched an episode of Supernatural (1x3: Dead in the Water). @deanscarlett​ helped me figure this out: Alec is out for out for himself, Dean was always out for anything but himself (except when it comes to pleasure-seeking, when he even allows it). Alec has his own psychological trauma (2x11: The Berrisford Agenda) which adds facets to his character’s mercenary pursuits, but once he locks down that perceived weakness (”I’m always alright”), you don’t really see him break down like that again. His programming is strong; he just buries it. But it serves a purpose: Max had written him off as a loss after she saved his life at the expense of not getting a cure to the virus (2x3: Proof of Purchase). It showed her that he wasn’t just a “happy-go-lucky sociopath”, that he had a story like everyone else, and that meant he deserved a shot at redemption. Alec was relatively unburdened (I mean... genetically enhanced master assassin... star torturer in HELL... Dean wins this round, I think) compared to Dean, who’s had ever-increasing weight on his shoulders since “Take your brother outside as fast as you can - don't look back. Now, Dean! GO!” Even young, Dean was never this carefree except maybe in his imagination or as a way to distance himself from others, or when he got really into the “I’m a badass I save people” part of it.

In this scene, Alec (if the character is Jensen’s age) is 23. He’s found a bunch of transgenics that fled from Manticore (the only home they’ve ever known) because of a fire. They’re all children, ranging in age from elementary school to early teens. He’s annoyed because they interrupted his sexy times in a motel. He’s very dismissive of them and spends most of those scenes throwing pieces of popcorn at one of the X7s, who are all small children. Creepy black-eyed hive-minded small children, but small children nonetheless. He makes smart remarks and rolls his eyes while Max tries to get through to the children to let them know that they should absolutely not go back to Manticore if they want to live. In just a few minutes, she takes apart their foundations: You don’t answer to me. You’re not a designation, you’re a person. You have a name now. You have to make your own choices.

“Why would Manticore try to get rid of us?” 

Alec answers:

Compare that to Dean as early as 1x3 Dead in the Water:

Dean doesn’t even talk the same way as Alec (except in the first few episode, while they were still getting used to their characters), and I don’t mean Jensen’s ever-more-gravelly voice, I mean the way he stubbornly pushes his jaw forward and talks out one side of his mouth or through his teeth. He has his mouth slightly open a lot. Sometimes he barely moves his mouth when he talks, speaking as if saying the words mostly to himself. Like 2x20 where Wishverse!Sam says “You slept with my prom date. On prom night.” Dean says, “Yeah that does kinda sound like me” while barely moving his mouth at all. Or in 4x01 where he holds up the empty liquor bottle and asks Bobby, “What, r’yer parents outta town or somethin?” That’s such a mushy line. He has a mush-mouth that’s only made mushier by hunter jargon and Dean’s... idiosyncratic way of speaking. If you weren’t in this fandom, would you know what I full-on Swayze’d that mother even meant? I always think of this (7x21):

(He can speak perfectly clearly when he wants to make a point, or when they’re pretending to be any kind of authority. I always think of the exchange in 5x14: My Bloody Valentine:

SAM: [mock sadness] That's when a dog doesn't eat-- That's when you know something's really wrong.

DEAN: [pokerface] Remarkably patronizing concern. Duly noted.

He can turn it off when he wants to. That Dean’s Master Adapter thing and it’s FUCKING HOT. Oh, I’m a production assistant now? Cool, aced it in a day. Oh, we’re in prison? This is fine, I’m gonna procure cigarettes. LARPing? Sign me the fuck up. Oh, we’re reporters? I can sound like a reporter. I’ve watched thousands of hours of television, I can mimic anyone. I can fake my way through almost anything. We’re in a different town two weeks from now, I can tell people whatever I want.

OH SHIT, DEAN TANGENT INSIDE OF A JENSEN RANGE TANGENT. Quick, make it look intentional!

Anyway, to me, Alec... Dean... not the same character. Going from one to the other was so jarring. For gifsets or edits where you want to show young Dean Winchester, it totally works for that. I mean, it’s Jensen’s face when he was that pre-Supernatural age... except that Jensen didn’t really look like Ridge Canipe or Dylan Everett when he was that age. (I love Dylan Everett. I don’t even care that his eyes are the wrong color.)

But something else Jensen does is put his own mark on roles that he’s given. Tom Hanniger wasn’t supposed to be as sympathetic as he turned out to be, and most people who watched it stated that they wanted someone else to be the bad guy (Axel was looking good for it) so that Tom would be okay. (Sorry if I just spoiled that for you.) Alec wasn’t supposed to be quite so likable, but that’s what Jensen brought to it. Even Kripke said early on that Dean was different on the page than when Jensen got ahold of him. He finds the heart of the character. Imagine if Dean Winchester had been the guy from the pilot this whole time, grossly leering at Jess to make Sam uncomfortable and defensive. 

Remember that Jess first says “Your brother Dean?” with a pleased smile on her face.

DEAN: [instantly leering] Oh, I love the Smurfs. [ogles cleavage] You know, I gotta tell you. [steps too close] You are completely out of my brother's league. [suggestive grin]

JESS: [smile fading, clearly uncomfortable] Just let me put something on.

[JESS turns to go. DEAN's voice stops her.]

DEAN: [isn’t discouraged by her discomfort] No, no, no, I wouldn't dream of it. [another leer] Seriously.

When I first watched that, I thought: “Pussyhound with control issues? That’s your brother’s girl, don’t be skeevy.”

But before long, you realize what it was: Contempt. He wasn’t interested in Jess. “I’m going to make you feel very unwelcome because who the hell invited YOU?” It’s very possessive.

Think about that first scene with Dean after “Easy, tiger!” and then Dean a mere 9 episodes later, in “Home”, trying to get through to John because he’s scared, his voice breaking, his eyes filling up. During that first scene, would you have predicted something like that? "My heart’s gonna break for this bossy bad boy creep.” In fact, by the third episode of the series, it has. Sam tries to make a note of it and gets shut down by Dean right away. "I’ll show you a little, but that’s all. Don’t test me.”

DEAN: You're scared. It's okay. I understand. See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared, too. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see, my mom—I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day. And I do my best to be brave. And maybe, your dad wants you to be brave too.

Later:

DEAN: Oh God, we're not gonna have to hug or anything, are we?

It’s not until 2x20: What is and What Should Never Be where you see how Dean feels about Jess now that he understands how important she was to Sam: He hug-tackles her from out of frame, and if she never died... There were more layers of Dean revealed in that episode than Alec got his entire season. (Don’t even get me started on that episode, I’ll just start crying and I’m already so off course with this post.) 

Jensen took this role and made it as iconic as it is. He protects it.

I’m not saying another actor couldn’t have also “sold” that role and made it their own. What I am saying is, I don’t think that another actor would be playing the everloving fuck out of that role -- with all its twists and turns, advances and setbacks -- 14 years later with seemingly as much passion (if not more) than when they started.

But Jensen didn’t leave Dean in that swaggering, cocky, Han Solo place. He deepened the character, added layers, he shows us the cracks and the flaws. The show would NOT have lasted 14 seasons without these two actors. God, I only watch it to see what’s happening to them and see the ways they found to challenge themselves in otherwise unremarkable episodes. It’s like a troubled relationship where you’re like “No, I’m not watching it again ever” and then it texts you at 3am with “wyd” and suddenly you’re playing an episode and wondering about your life. 

I went into that long-ass, rambling, what-even-are-you-talking-about tangent to set you up for this:

Nihilism was NOT an unremarkable episode.

This is not like any other role that Jensen has played before.

There’s really no trace of Dean Winchester in Michael except the resemblance (and the daddy issues, I suppose). And even that’s played down with the neat hair, the suit, the artful "I know my best angles” way that he presents himself to people. There’s not even a trace of other characters that Jensen has played. It’s an entirely new role for him.

Michael carries himself elegantly. The perfect posture, the poise, the careful, graceful motions. Dean kind of slouches, looms, or does a parade rest sort of thing where he’s braced for whatever might happen. He’s got a big ambling swagger. He puts his feet up on tables or sits with his legs sprawled apart.

Michael eerily doesn’t blink as much as you would expect. As Dean, Jensen blinks a lot and closes his eyes, sometimes for a few seconds in the middle of a line, as if he’s processing his thoughts. I love it. It doesn’t start happening until S4 or so, where he wants to show the general weariness of the character. It happens the most when he’s angry or exasperated. But Michael is laser-focused.

Michael speaks very precisely and almost ceremoniously, like he’s selecting each word for the maximum impact. He has ALL the time in the world. Dean talks like... well, Dean. This is the big one for me. He just doesn’t SOUND like Dean, even though it’s the same damn voice. It’s in the cadence. He also holds his chin upright so his voice projects differently, and his jaw isn’t clenched like Dean’s usually is. His voice comes across as smooth and oozes condescension. 

Michael, in keeping with his wardrobe and (understandable) superiority complex is very fussy. While Sam, Cas, and Jack are talking, he’s speculatively opening and closing his hands in the background as if trying the cuffs, but he doesn’t even bother to struggle. While he’s talking to Cas during the big monologue, he absently picks a speck of something out from under a fingernail and neatly refolds his hands on his knee. He puts himself in those 3-piece suits. He has expanded to take up all of the possible Dean-ness and he’s very proud of his vessel. The human that used to be in control could not possibly matter less. As far as he’s concerned, Dean was his the moment he was even born.

Michael’s expressions are very different. Dean has a very expressive face. In one 5-second gif, you can identify a number of little micro-expressions he goes through. His face is almost never still unless something has gone very wrong. His eyebrows are all over the place. He’s squinty from having scowled for so long. He absently curls his lip when he talks. Because Michael doesn’t have all the trauma and worries that Dean has, he keeps his expression smooth. He looks completely dignified. Because he feels he has absolutely nothing to fear, his expressions are supercilious and disdainful.

Michael is very, very serene. He’s a BEING, and currently immortal. The things the “pig-filthy humans” are doing don’t really seem to concern him. “He's a gnat,” he says about Dean. He’s waiting them out because to him, they’re the blink of an eye. People keep trying to get a rise out of him, I think because he wears Dean’s face and they’re desperate to see a glimpse of him. Michael just doesn’t give a shit. Holy fire? Whatever. These cute handcuffs? That’s adorable. 

Look at the image below. There is no Dean at all, there is barely even a flicker of concern. His smile here is almost like, “You are naive and tedious. I’m just waiting for my army to get here. Might as well relax.”

I’m sorry, I’m just very, very excited and I’m so proud of Jensen. He was already brilliant, but this kicked it into a whole new level.

What killed me:

* Don’t interrupt me.

* Dean’s not home right now. Please leave a message.

* (”With these angel cuffs on, Michael’s under control.”) You keep telling yourself that.

* THAT CREEPY ASS SMILE after Sam says that the Impala’s trunk could hold Michael!Dean too. IT’S SO CREEPY WHAT IS IT

* I called them. [smiles, fake gasp of surprise] It’s a party.

* (”Sam, are we going to die here?”) ANOTHER CREEPY LITTLE SMILE like he could not be less intimidated if he tried.

* I can hear you. [they move about 5 steps further] Really?

* Remind me, Castiel, we’re west of Kansas City? (Dudes, he is an archangel, did you think walking into another room was going to keep him from hearing you?)

* Yeah, put a chair against the door. That’ll help.

* The last thing you’ll see is this pretty smile. AND HE DOES THE TONGUE THING THAT JENSEN DOES so in the small moment to me he was Evil!Jensen. I would read that fanfic. it made me SO uneasy.

* I’m in his head. LITERALLY.

* (”He’s lying.”) No, I’m not. And I can still hear you.

* God -- Chuck -- is a writer, and like all writers, He churns out draft after draft. (The way he sort of labors over every letter in the word “Chuck”, it’s so contemptuous, almost like he’s saying “Fuck”?)

* He never would’ve been so... anemic. [absently cleans a fingernail]

* [leans forward] Even God can die. Ugh, the chill that went down my spine.

* Cool science project. 

* When they put the electrodes(?) on him, he’s sort of glancing back and forth, HE’S SO AMUSED, he even laughs disparagingly. 

* Oh, Cas. I believe in you. LOL

* In there? You’re all mine. *audible swallow*

Ugh, if AU!Michael!Dean was a lotion, I would smear it all over my body.

Thank you for coming to my Jensen Talk.

[lilcutieana]

Alive ~ (Robot Kim Seokjin)

Pairing:  Robot! Kim Seokjin| Reader Words: 2k Rating: M (mature), smut in future chapters. Warnings: Strong language, violence, mentions of death and lots of angst  Genre: Hybrid AU, Robot AU  Synapse: A world where hybrids are no longer seen as pets and have been replaced by robots instead. Where robots have feelings, emotions and adapt just the way you need them to. 

So… Which robot would you like to order?

Masterlist || One shots Masterlist ||Chapter 1

                                             Prologue 

After the hybrid human war in South Korea, both humans and hybrids faced tremendous losses. The hybrids now co-existed with humans and humans have reverted back to using robots for their needs instead of owning hybrids.

Hybrids are no longer the pets and slaves, but live proudly alongside humans, have children with them; and, being genetically advanced in every aspect-- they're preferred candidates for every human job. No longer are they experimented on, or created in labs—they’re born naturally now.

The robots are far more advanced now and humane. They come with memories, emotions, functions—all things customized according to the need of the owner. The more money and power you have—the more you are favored. These days not just everyone gets to own a robot of their own. Only the ones who deserve them the most—gets to own them. It’s extremely hard to customize robots after all. Not everyone can do it.

And that is the reason why crimes have significantly increased. No human can stay much longer without releasing their stress and inner hatred onto someone else—be it hybrid or human. Now that it’s taken away—they’ve resorted back to unleashing it on each other.

"Ma’am, our next applicant seems quite the troublesome one. I don't think we can discourage them."

"That's okay Suwon, hand me the form. I'll take it from here." Miyoung smiled at her secretary, looking up from the desktop screen.

Suwon pursed his lips. His grey ears atop his head twitching in annoyance. He didn't like it one bit when the rich and powerful people demanded robots and never cared for them enough. Humans were selfish. The rich-- even more so. They had too much money and time on their hands and destructed everything around them.

"Suwon." Minyoung placed her arms on her lap and turned towards him. "Don't judge every man who is not here for donations, but, to buy from us. Even rich people can have genuine reasons."

"If it’s a birthday present for someone whose choice they aren't even sure about, or a sex toy for their sexually deviant child, or worse-- a punching bag for their aggressive friend—I refuse." Suwon snapped. Turning his head, he glared at the wall, breathing hard. "They are humane, our robots are like a young child, with feelings and no memories. They need love, care, attention to understand the world and then gradually adapt to the owner and they do not, under any circumstances, deserve being treated like absolute shit just because they aren't made of flesh and bones."

"And that's exactly why Suwon, we run multiple tests before taking requests." She licked her lips, a silent command in her voice, "he must have waited long enough, send him in and leave his form with me."

"But, miss, he's ..." Suwon hesitated, the form clutched tight in his hands, his tail flicking behind him nervously.

"I don't pay you to make decisions for me, Suwon." She turned her attention back to her desktop screen, saving the documents she had been working on. A previous request for robot puppy—to help the owner recover from the loss of her puppy in an accident.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. Right away." Suwon left the room with a soft click of the door, followed by Miyoung sighing in her seat. She was just an ordinary robot maker. And now, she ran one of the biggest companies in Asia, producing top-notch robots – who never disappointed. The reason? Their memories were replaceable and could be manipulated. That was the company secret.

Every two years, the robots had to be brought for routine checkup and recovery. A week-long process where they helped the robot heal any trauma or get additional improvements and software upgrades—for a charge, of course.

There were people who couldn’t afford to pay for the robot that they needed to live. And for that, she was the first, and the only company in the world—who accepted them to pay their debts through working. They were trained for a month and sent to houses for a survey of robots, customer satisfaction, suggestion, and other important data. And that was the second key—for the success to her company.

A curt knock on the door, startled her out her reverie, revealing a man in his late fifties—or was it sixties? She couldn’t tell. She was quite bad at the age guessing game. His eyes were a bit sunken in, dark freckles on the left side on his forehead and cheeks, dark skin and a beautiful relaxed smile. He didn’t raise any alarm bells in her yet, and she deemed him safe enough. For now.

“Please, take a seat.” Gesturing towards the couch, she got up from the chair and followed him there. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Ah… No. Thank you for asking, miss.” He smiled back politely and sat down, picking a blue cushion and positioning it over his thighs. “I need a robot for this woman.” Placing a Polaroid photograph of a young hybrid girl on the table between them, the man regarded Miyoung carefully.

“Do you know for sure that’s exactly what she wants?”

“Yes. That’s exactly what Y/N needs. A robot of her own who she can trust not to leave or to die.” He nodded solemnly. “I’ve known her for a little over five years and with time—her depression and anxiety got worse. But not that my son’s no more, who she had been dating for a few years, she’s losing herself. She’s dying on her own—wouldn’t accept any care, is being ridiculously stubborn too. I just don’t know any other way.”

“I see. A care bot then.” Miyoung nodded to herself, her eyes darkening. “I’ll need you to fill up a form and add all specifications before we can decide on further things.”

The man nodded and licked his lips. Clasping his hands over his thighs, he looked around the office, his gaze sharp and calculating. “Can the robot’s memories be manipulated?”

The question came out of nowhere and Miyoung, was absolutely not expecting this question out of all others to come from a harmless looking man.

“Yes, they can be. But not by the ones who own the robot.” She answered carefully, gauging his reactions to the new revelation. The public didn’t know much about robots—except their types and their functions.

He slumped in his seat, relaxed. “That’s a relief. I wouldn’t want someone else tampering with its memories. Even though a robot—I believe they’d have their own personality, feelings, and emotions.”

“That’s right. They do. They’re almost the same as a human, just more innocent.” Miyoung smiled back, relieved. Her doubts about the man melting away. He might be rich, but he had a better understanding. He wasn’t as bad as her secretary had made him out to be.

“There’s something… I’d like you to know beforehand.” He leaned forward with his hands clasped over his knees. “The reason behind my son’s death is still unclear. Though she needs all the care, I’m worried about the robot that would replace my son in her life. I need the robot to be strong enough to defend itself.”

Miyong’s heart sunk. She knew the request couldn’t have been as simple. Either he was threatening her, or maybe he didn’t need the robot to protect the girl—rather to spy on her. To maybe find out about his son’s death. She wondered what his real intentions were. Did he suspect the girl as a murderer?  

“I’ll look into it and prepare a bot according to the form you’ll be filling up. There will be people discharged to get a feel of your place and to survey different things. Don’t be too alarmed.” Miyoung nodded, a smile on her lips that were just as fake as her lashes.

What had she got herself into?

═══════ ⋆★⋆ ════════ 

“Y/N, a bright young woman of twenty-three, mourning over the death of her lover of age twenty-eight, lives in a house they both owned at the upper rich side of Seoul.” A lanky boy in his late teens, huffed along behind a tall, broad-shouldered and lean man dressed immaculately in a suit, carrying two suitcases while scaling the unending steps to said house.

“She refuses to eat, drink or even talk to anyone. She’s resigned to staying inside their shared bedroom and you—as handsome as you are—are expected to get her out of her slump. That’s your task.” Nodding to himself, he stopped and stared both ways, looking for the address he was supposed to drop off the handsome robot in. Delivery was always a pain in his ass.

“So you agree I’m handsome?” The robot turned around, his stoic expression turning into one of pure innocence and wonder.

“There’s nothing to agree upon, you know? That’s just the way you were designed.” The boy averted his eyes to the side, his neck flushing a faint pink. “Anyway, that’s all you heard from all the important stuff I’ve been raving about?”

The man shrugged his shoulders, a pensive look on his face. “I’ll figure it out somehow. How bad can a dog hybrid be?”

“You just cursed yourself to doom.”

“I’ll deal with it. So… when do we get to eat?” he asked excited, his eyes sparkling under the sun, and his blonde hair making his caramel skin look paler than it was.

“Whenever you decide to cook the countless recipes saved in your memory.” Looking around, the boy’s eyes fixated on a fairly large mansion to their right. Its yard looking more intimidating than welcoming. “Looks like we’ve made it here. This is as far as I go.”

“Yeah, thanks, man. I’ll carry these suitcases from here.” The robot picked up the heavy suitcases from the teen’s hands as if they were just textbooks. “Stop looking at me like I’m the Ironman. I’ll miss you. Its been fun the past week learning with you.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I was only doing my job.” Patting his elbow, the boy turned around, his ears a bright pink as he continued walking away—kicking a stray pebble along.

Giggling to himself, the suited man straightened his jacket and bit his lip. Well, he hadn’t expected to come to stay at such a luxurious home. Well, he supposed he’d enjoy his stay while it lasted.

Dragging his suitcases behind him, he walked forward with a new purpose, the gates opening on their own as soon as they scanned him. The gravel path crunched under his boots—a gift from the one who had designed him, the foliage around was trimmed to perfection, even the water in the little fountain had been sparkling and shimmering. The house was indeed well looked after—at least from the outside.

Then why was the owner not looked after? Why did she need him?

Knocking on the ornate door with a simple floral design, he wasn’t one bit surprised when nobody opened it for him. Sighing, he slumped against the door, dropping the handles of the suitcases he’d been carrying.

“Y/N… I know you’re watching me, and probably listening to me too.” Licking his suddenly dry lips, he continued, “I’m Kim Seokjin, here to be your caregiver. Won’t you let me in?”

Though he was right, she was watching him and listening to him from the other side of the door, what he didn’t know was how broken she was and how much those very words affected her.

They meant a completely different thing to her. Those were the exact words he had spoken to her the first time they met. The words she never wanted to hear again. 

Prologue || Chapter 1

[vierafication]

Getting to Know: Faolan Kells

Was tagged by @an-honest-waltz for most of these AGES ago, so just gonna make one big ol’ post!

<STRENGTHS & FLAWS>

Bold those that apply, italicize if occasional or situational.

╳   FLAWS

moody | short-tempered | emotionally unstable | whiny | controlling | conceited | possessive | paranoid | lies | impatient | cowardly | bitter | selfish | power - hungry | greedy | lazy | judgmental | forgetful | impulsive | spiteful | stubborn | sadistic | masochistic | petty | unlucky | absent-minded | abusive | addict | aggressive | childish | callous | clingy | delusional | cocky | competitive | corrupt | cynical | cruel | depressed | deranged | egotistical | envious | insecure | insensitive | lustful | delinquent | guilt complex | reclusive | reckless | nervous| oversensitive | rebellious | pessimistic | selfless

♔   STRENGTHS

honest | trustworthy | thoughtful | caring | brave | patient | selfless | ambitious | tolerant | lucky | intelligent | confident | focused | humble | generous | merciful | observant | wise | clever | charming | cheerful | optimistic | decisive | adaptive | calm | protective | proud | diligent | considerate | compassionate | good sportsmanship | friendly | empathetic | passionate | reliable | resourceful | sensible | sincere | witty | funny

🖌 SKILLS & HOBBIES

art | acting | astronomy | animals | archery | sports | beach combing | belly dancing | bird watching | blacksmithing | boating | calligraphy | camping | candle making | casino gambling | ceramics | racing | chess | music | cooking | crochet | weaving | exercise | swordplay | fishing | gardening | ghost hunting | ice skating | magic | engineering | building | inventing | leather-working | martial arts | meditation | origami | parkour | people watching | swimming | puppetry | pyrotechnics | quilting | reading | collecting | shopping | socializing | storytelling | writing | traveling | exotic dancing | minor potion brewing | tricks & trinkets | crow keeping | classical dancing

<BODY AESTHETIC>

[ BODY ]

Long legs. Short legs. Average legs. Slender thighs. Thick thighs. Toned thighs. Skinny arms. Soft arms. Toned arms. Muscular arms. Toned stomach. Flat stomach. Flabby Stomach. Soft stomach. Six-pack. Beer belly. Lean frame. Beefy/muscular frame. Voluptuous frame. Petite frame. Lanky frame. Short nails. Long nails. Manicured nails. Dirty nails. Flat ass. Toned ass. Bubble butt. Small waist. Average waist. Thick waist. Narrow hips. Average hips. Wide hips. Big feet. Average feet. Small feet. Soft feet. Slender feet. Calloused hands. Soft hands. Big hands. Average hands. Small hands. Long fingers. Short fingers. Average fingers. Narrow shoulders. Broad shoulders. Average shoulders. Underweight. Average weight. Overweight.

[ HEIGHT ]

Shorter than 140 cm. 141 cm to 150 cm. 151 cm to 160 cm. 161 cm to 170 cm. 171 cm to 180 cm. 181 cm to 190 cm. 191 cm to 2 m. Taller than 2 m.

[ SKIN ]

Pale. Rosy. Olive. Dark. Tanned. Blotchy. Smooth. Moles. Acne. Dry. Greasy. Freckled. Scars. Birthmarks.

[ EYES ]

Small. Large. Average. Grey. Brown. Blue. Turquoise. Violet. Pink. Green. Gold. Hazel. Crimson. Doe-eyed. Almond. Close-set. Wide-set. Deep-set. Squinty. Monolid. Heavy eyelids. Upturned. Downturned. Mismatched.

[ HAIR ]

Thin. Thick. Fine. Normal. Greasy. Dry. Soft. Shiny. Curly. Frizzy. Wild. Unruly. Straight. Smooth. Wavy. Floppy. Cropped. Pixie-cut. Afro. Pompadour. Shoulder length. Back length. Waist length. Past hip-length. Buzz cut. Bald. Weave. Hair extensions. Jaw length. Layered. Mohawk. Pony Tail. Braid. Locks. Box braids. Faux locks. White. Going Grey. Platinum blonde. Golden blonde. Dirty blonde. Blonde. Strawberry Blonde. Ombre. Ash brown. Mouse brown. Chestnut brown. Golden brown. Chocolate brown. Dark brown. Jet black. Orange. Ginger. Red. Auburn. Dyed. Thin eyebrows. Average eyebrows. Thick eyebrows. Plucked eyebrows.

[ TATTOOS / PIERCINGS ]

Full sleeve. Thigh tattoo. Neck tattoo. Chest tattoo. Back tattoo. Shoulder blade tattoo. One tattoo. Face tattoo. Hand tattoo. Henna tattoo. Wrist tattoo. Forearm tattoo. A few here and there. Multiple. No tattoos (for now). Monroe piercing. Nose piercing. Septum. Nipple piercing(s). Genital piercing(s). Industrial piercings. Earlobe piercings. Prince Albert piercing. Eyebrow piercing(s). Tongue piercing(s). Lip piercing(s). Top of the ear. Tragus piercing. Angel bites. Labret. Stretched out ears. Navel piercing. Inverse navel piercing. Cheek piercing(s). Smiley. Nape piercing(s). No piercings.

[ COSMETICS ]

Eyeliner. Light eyeliner. Heavy eyeliner. Cat eyes. Mascara. Fake eyelashes. Matte lipstick. Regular lipstick. Lipgloss. Red lips. Pink lips. Nude lips. Dark lips. Bronzer. Highlighter. Eyeshadow. Neutral eyeshadow. Smoky eyes. Colorful eyeshadow. Blush. Lipliner. Light contouring. Heavy contouring. Powder. Matte foundation. Shiny foundation. Concealer. Wears war paint from time to time. Wears make up regularly. Wears it from time to time. Never wears make-up.

[ SCENT ]

Floral. Herbal. Earthy. Fruity. Perfumes. Aftershave. Cocoa. Moisturizer. Shampoo. Cigarettes. Leather. Fur. Sweat. Food. Incense. Cologne. Whiskey. Wine. Fried food. Blood. Fire. Cold. Fresh. Metal. Rain. Chemicals. Baking!

[ CLOTHES ]

Jeans. Tight pants. Overknee socks. Tights. Leggings. Yoga pants. Pencil skirt. Tight skirt. Loose skirt. Tight/Form-fitting dress. Cardigans. Tunic. Blouse. Button up shirt. Band-T-shirt. Sports-T-shirt. Sweatpants. Tanktop. Cut off t-shirt. Designer. High street. Leather jacket. Thrift. Lingerie. Long skirt. Miniskirt. Maxidress. Sun dress. Tie. Tuxedo. Cocktail dress.High slit dress/skirt. T-shirt. Loose clothing. Tight clothing. Jean shorts. Sweater. Sweater vest. Waistcoat. Khaki pants. Suit. Hoodie. Basketball shorts. Boxers/Boxer-Briefs. Thong. Hotpants. Hipster panties. Bra. Sportsbra. Crop top. Corset. Ballerina skirt. Leotard. Polka dot. Stripes. Glitter. Cotton. Linen. Silk. Lace. Leather. Velvet. Patterns. Florals. Neon colors. Pastels. Light colors. White. Black. Dark colors. Fur/Fauxfur. Revealing clothing. Heavy armor. Medium armor. Light Armor.

[ SHOES ]

Sneakers. Slip-ons. Flats. Slippers. Sandals. High heels. Kitten heels. Ankle boots. Combat boots. Knee-high. Platforms. Bare feet. Loafers. Oxfords. Gladiator shoes. Leather boots.

~

<GETTING TO KNOW>

So I personally don’t like this prompt because it assumes the character answers IC, but how many characters would actually let someone come up and interview them with this barrage of questions, some very personal, out of nowhere, IC? So I think it works better to think of them as... filling it out as a form themselves?

► Name ➔   Which one? ► Are you single ➔ I think so. ► Are you happy ➔   I’d better be. ► Are you angry? ➔   Thankfully, no. ► Are your parents still married ➔  Who?

NINE FACTS ► Birth Place ➔ Somewhere where the trees are tall and green and overshadowing, I think. ► Hair Color ➔ Like the earth. ► Eye Color ➔ Like the leaves. ► Birthday ➔ I do not know. ► Mood ➔ Fluctuating. ► Gender ➔ Leaning towards male. ► Summer or winter ➔ Summer. ► Morning or afternoon ➔ Can I say evening instead?

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE ► Are you in love ➔ With life itself~! Mostly. Usually. Sometimes. ► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ It’s the stuff of faerytales. So of course I do! Would love to actually see it in action, though. It’s certainly elusive. ► Who ended your last relationship ➔ No relationships to end- so I have not suffered that terrible heartache so often written about! Ha! ► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔  Probably. I hope so. ► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ I think the answer is yes, because I do not want them, if I can help it! Don’t like strings. ► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ Of course! Who or what, though, I cannot recall. ► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ I hope so! ► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ NO.

SIX CHOICES ► Love or lust ➔ Love! Incredibly useless, but really quite fun to mess with. ► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ Lemonade. ► Cats or Dogs ➔ Dogs are more reliable, cats are more fun. So... cats, then.. ► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ Yes. ► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ A wild night out leads to so many more interesting possible occurrences. The other option is boring on multiple levels. ► Day or night ➔ Oh, so this is where I can say night. Night, then.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS ► Been caught sneaking out ➔ Out of where? By whom? ► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ I am far too graceful for THAT, but it is very humorous to see! ► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ No comment. ► Wanted to disappear ➔ Not if I’ve enough distractions to keep me occupied at the moment!

FOUR PREFERENCES ► Smile or eyes ➔ Eyes tell a lot more than a smile ever could. ► Shorter or Taller ➔ Shorter people are easier to poke fun at, in my experience. ► Intelligence or Attraction ➔  Attraction. ► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ I don’t want anything THAT close to me, thank you very much.

FAMILY ► Do you and your family get along ➔ We fight sometimes. ► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ It is certainly abnormal by your standards! If only you knew. ► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ When I was a child, I tried to multiple times, but I just ended up running right back home again. Not voluntarily, of course, for the forest paths never lead you where you want to go, only where you don’t. ► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ Not kicked out, necessarily, but... locked up? Hidden away? I feel that’s a better term.

FRIENDS ► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ No! That would be silly. ► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ No. ► Who is your best friend ➔ I adore friends, of course, but I would not trust anybody to THAT extent. ► Who knows everything about you ➔ Only the ones back home, and I intend to keep it that way.

Thanks again Killian!!!! Not gonna tag anybody ‘cause y’all have already done these I’m sure. But if you haven’t, consider yourself tagged!

[rwbyconversations]

RTX 2018 RWBY2 Panel Summary

Different crew from yesterday- Gray, Anna Hullum, Kara, Arryn, Joel Mann (Volume 6 animation director) Joe Clary (Lead producer).

Open with the volume 6 short (another panel leaked some of this without music and I will say? I can get the hype, the animation is insanely good). Much like Kerry yesterday, Gray gets cut off by the over-enthusiastic Mixer crew as he was saying “for the people watching the streams-”.

Even CRWBY were surprised when the idea was had to make an Adam short.

Gray repeats that this is the one short for Volume 6 so that as much time could go into Volume 6 as possible.

This is the third trailer Joel has worked on for RTX.

Gray recaps a lot of the RWBY stuff from yesterday- CFVY book, Volume 6 theatre premiere, manga anthologies and Shonen Jump volume 1-2 adaptations, Rock Band.

They showed Chibi episode 15 at this panel (14 had aired earlier that day for first members).

Gray showed off the Manticore Grimm from the animation panel on Friday night. Kerry and Miles were planning a Manticore when a fanartist made one too, so M&K used that fanart as the basis for the design.

Stream gets cut one more time for a Gen;Lock trailer. At a RWBY panel. Thanks Gray. /s. Spending more time looking at this loading screen than I am actually covering the panel.

Q&A finally starts after forty minutes.

What would Blake like more, catnip or weed? Gray: Volume 420. Arryn says catnip, she doesn’t like weed too much and thinks Blake would just zone out if she ever took it.

For the volume 1-2 manga, will any additions made by the manga authors be canon? Gray doesn’t know, but he thinks so. They’re planning it out now and he doesn’t know what’ll get added.

Any weapon features or visual parts that got cut? Gray: I’m sure Miles and Kerry would go ‘Spoilers!’ Gray can’t really say since it could be a spoiler.

If Neo comes back, can Casey Lee Williams do the voice? It’d be awesome but who knows if Neo will ever come back and if she’ll even be voiced.

Anna, if Raven could go back and take Yang with her, would she have? “Raven has made the choices she made. So probably, if she was asked to do it again, she’d… do it again.” Gray: She had to go to the store and get some cigarettes.

Do you guys follow any fan fiction? Gray: Our lawyers will tell you that we say no. Apparently, the CRWBY coming up with a character and having to scrap it because an OC uses a similar weapon or fable motif and they have to avoid a potential lawsuit.

What non spoiler stuff can you tell us about Ironwood? Like what’s beneath his pants? Kara: “Well his name’s Ironwood... “ Arryn says that Ironwood is gender-fluid (probably not canon). Gray jokingly shills the aforementioned fanfiction. Shame this didn’t get a proper answer.

Since Ruby and Yang have both got their ass kicked by Neo, when will Weiss and Blake join the party in getting their teeth kicked in by Neo? Arryn scoffs at that notion. Kara notes that Neo is named after ice cream.

Given the reception to the Cross Tag Battle, have you contacted ArcSys regarding a full RWBY fighting game? Gray: “If I had that announcement, do you think I wouldn’t have teased it by now?”

Favorite volume to work on/watch? Kara loved Volume 4 and the fundraiser episode. Anna went for season 5. Arryn: I loved when Blake burned her house down and blamed it on everyone else. One of Gray’s favorite episodes is still PVP so maybe 3? Joel goes with Volume 4 and loved working on Chapter 7 (he got to do the mocap for Tyrian in that fight). Joe plugs Volume 6.

Animators, what’s the difference between the choreography of volumes 5 and 6? Joe says that the team tries to improve how they script fights every year.

Favorite spoiler moment where you were waiting for the fanbase to catch up? Arryn and Kara say Pyrrha dying. Joel goes for Weiss getting stabbed by Cinder in Volume 5. Kara mentions how as a White Knight shipper that she loved seeing Jaune save Weiss.

Now that Remnant has opened up beyond Vale, are there any plans for another incident like Team Indigo from the Lazer Team Indigogo? Gray says yes, they’re working on implementation but they want to do it again.

Do you want to include live action skits for RWBY or a movie? Gray seems to laugh at the idea given the Season 2 Christmas episode and the Nora coffee skit. He does love some of the live action stuff that the fandom gets up to. He’s not against the idea of a RWBY movie but wonders if they’ll “Avatar it.” “Do you have faith we wouldn’t Avatar it?”

Since we learned that Raven was the Maiden, is the point of her mask to hide the Maiden eyes, and how long as she had the mask? Gray hums. Again, not sure if he can answer it but it’s a great question (I’ll mirror that, best question at RTX so far).

Can you share what the core theme of Volume 6 will be? Gray: “Cool.” Gray actually did ask M&K what he could say for that and they never got back to him.

My fellow Spacebattles user @sunderthegold asked: Is the Belladonna mansion Ghira’s actual house or was it just the house for the chieftain? Gray admits he might be wrong but he’s pretty sure it might be the Belladonna family house, so Blake grew up there.

Arryn steals more merch passes it out.

Any more products regarding CFVY beyond the book? What a dumb question, didn’t catch the answer. Regardless, Coco is already coming soon to Chibi

What is the extent that you’ll push the age rating for the spinoff content? Gray thinks they should go for it all, “short of the hentai but we’ll leave it to the fans.”

STILL. NO. STUPID. SHIPPING. QUESTIONS!!! I’m getting hopeful. I shouldn’t get hopeful.

[nandalorian]

OCD Marvel Costume Series: Black Widow

Ever since I did that post about Captain America’s theoretical onesie and the evolution of his costume, I’ve gotten a lot of requests to do a similar OCD breakdown analysis about Black Widow’s.

After Cap and Bucky, Widow’s easily my favourite MCU character, so I am all too happy to break it down. But just know this required me to wade through so many disgusting male comments about her costume and body that I wanted to flip my desk and set it on fire. Repeatedly. You’re welcome.

Here are the six costumes I’ll be looking at from 2010-2018.

From L to R: Iron Man 2, Avengers, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Captain America: Civil War, and Avengers: Infinity War.

Putting the rest under a read more because shit’s gonna get long.

Let’s begin: Iron Man 2.

This is the first time we meet Natasha in the MCU franchise, and I don’t know about you guys, but I remember there being a LOT of hype surrounding Scarlett being cast in a totally non-objectifying way. <_<

Just kidding. Here’s actual footage of every straight man watching/starring in Iron Man 2 when Nat’s on screen:

This, I think, is a good place to add a caveat that it’s difficult to address Natasha’s looks and clothing without sounding like I’m criticizing her appearance and sexuality, including her ability to weaponize those things or the fact that she is entitled to enjoy them in any way she likes. As a character, certainly she is, and to me that’s one of the really interesting aspects of her personality and an incredible skill. As a woman, those are things not worthy of criticizing, IMO. But the films present a grey area because they are all directed by men, and to a large extent for men. So it’s hard to find the line between what is meant to entice audiences and what is meant to tell us something important about who Nat is, and to what extent the latter is the original intent of the costume choices. How do you extricate the character from the male gaze when the male gaze permeates so much of comic book culture, and by extension the MCU? Let’s not forget how many gratuitous ass shots there are of Natasha in a given movie, although the Russos generally do a good job of evening the playing field by liberally sprinkling in plenty of Cap ass shots too. The Russos are like the salt baes of equal-opportunity and gender-neutral ass shots.

But back to Natasha. In Iron Man 2, she spends most of the movie in sexy wiggle dresses or low-cut blouses, presenting herself as an object of desire for all the men in the film (possibly some of the women) and a thorn in Pepper Potts’s side until they join forces against Tony. (Obviously her intention, since Natasha weaponizes everything about herself, but it was also pretty clearly for audience titillation as much as the character never does anything by accident.)

But then, surprise! It’s revealed she’s the Black Widow and capable of kicking more ass than just about anyone else in the film/on the planet, and can even do it in a skintight catsuit and crazy hair flying in her face at all times!

Natasha’s suit is probably the least functional in this movie because it’s designed to look like a sexy female comic book hero costume, not something a real agent would wear in a believable conflict situation. Or maybe they would, I don’t know. I’m not a spy. But objectively speaking, she has a totally useless belt with the Black Widow symbol around her middle, then the tactical belt, holsters, etc. The fabric looks shiny and stretchy but isn’t leather. That being said, you can’t get much more spot on in terms of the visual interpretation, if you look at how she’s drawn by J Scott Campbell. I am not positive whether IM2 Widow is an interpretation of this artist’s illustration or vice versa, but either way, she translates from film to comic and back again pretty flawlessly.

Just don’t even get me started on the hair because w h a t. Tell me you can’t hear it crackling when you look at this gif. Go on, I dare you.

No wonder ScarJo switched to wigs after this movie.

Ironically, even though this costume is pretty ridiculous in terms of offering any kind of practicality or protection from bullets/knives/explosions, I have to point out that Iron Man 2 is the only movie where Black Widow actually wears practical footwear.

Look at those things. Those are flat, FUNCTIONAL boots. You could do all the running, jumping, and punching things you wanted and not feel like your goddamn feet were going to fall off, or worse, plant you on your fucking face because you’re wearing heels into combat. RIP flat Widow boots.

Moving on. Avengers 1.

Much like the other costumes in this film, Natasha’s outfit is still pretty comic book-y, although to a less cartoonish extent than Captain America some. That is pretty much Joss Whedon’s trademark as a director, although shockingly, I felt Widow looked more serious and ready for battle. Alexandra Byrne did the costume design on Avengers and Ultron, as well as Thor and Guardians of the Galaxy (hence the trademark styles in A1 and A2, plus similarities between Natasha and Gamora’s costumes), and she has a distinct touch. Here the nods to practicality include less extravagant hair (though Natasha also has short hair plenty of times in the comics) and the fact that her suit looks like it could deflect a knife (possibly). Even her civilian clothing looks less hyperfeminine than that of Iron Man 2, and it’s here we begin to see that Nat’s outfit of choice is usually some combination of jeans, a jacket, and knee-high boots with a small heel. It always strikes me that this is probably what she’s most comfortable in when she’s not dressed as Black Widow. Even her stance here looks like that of a soldier, less of a stereotypically female pose.

I couldn’t help but feel a lot of this was intentional on Whedon’s part in order to avoid anyone accusing him of sexualizing Natasha and to look like a Real Director Who Takes Female Characters Seriously (TM). So he dresses women more realistically but then just assassinates their character in other ways, as you do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

As far as her suit is concerned, don’t get me wrong: it’s still textured plastic meant to stretch and allow movement and comfort and cling to certain... assets... and they still haven’t gotten rid of her totally useless Widow belt. But at least she looks a bit more like she means business and less like she’s just there to look hot.

However, in this film they also introduced the infamous heels to her costume. 

In the immortal words of Shuri:

Like Cap’s ab window, this is one of those design choices I begrudgingly understand from a movie perspective--it looks ~sexier and ~more feminine and also reduces the height difference between ScarJo and her male costars (plus other female characters like Agent Hill wear heels too, and so does Wonder Woman in the DC franchise. They appear in the Black Widow comics too), but the reality of someone willingly wearing heels in this type of environment makes me want to facepalm real bad. Sure, you can argue fighting in heels is just one of Nat’s special abilities that makes her better than the rest of us, but--that’s probably not why.

And they don’t go away, even when the movie and writing quality drastically improves. Anyone who read my post on Cap’s suits will probably be able to guess that The Winter Soldier is my #1 Marvel film and had some of my favourite costumes in the MCU, and Nat is no exception there. 

The way the Russos interpret her, through their writing and their vision for the overall look of the film and the way the costumes are designed (Judianna Makovsky did all the costumes for Winter Soldier, Civil War, and Infinity War, which makes total sense in ways I’ll explain in a moment), also reminds me a bit of Phil Noto and Nathan Edmonson’s Black Widow. Plenty of people might be inclined to disagree with me there, I’m sure, but Noto and Edmonson’s series, tonally and visually, is very similar to TWS in the sense that they feel like political thrillers, and the character styling in the film continues that theme. The story and the way the characters are written and styled crosses genres and blurs the line between comic book, thriller, and real life.  

In TWS, Nat looks like a fucking badass, but also somehow more relatable and human despite her perfect hair and flawless skin. TWS was the film where she, for me (along with the rest of the cast, especially Steve), went from being a character to being a person with all the shades of greys, uncertainties, and ambiguities that entails. That’s where the Russos excel, making fictional characters come alive with nuance and layers. Kind of like how you know if they had done a Hawkeye movie, they’d have probably adapted Hawkeye #19. 

Their unique way of finding the humanity in comic book characters and situating them in the real world translates interestingly through the costumes. Even her hair is the most natural-looking shade of copper red than any of the other films, where it tends to looks more dyed. Trust me, as someone who spent 9 years trying to achieve the perfect and most natural shade of copper red possible, I know how difficult it is to get right, even if this is obviously a wig.

If you look reeeeal close at the above pic, you can tell she’s graduated from stretchy plastic to something that resembles kevlar or some kind of protective utility material. You can just make out the lines and texture in the fabric. Still stretches and lets her move, obviously still skintight, but upgrades her to a higher degree of real-world believability in the same way the stealth suit did for Cap. 

I find the back of her suit interesting too. There’s a panel sewn over her butt that looks identical to the full-seat equestrian breeches I wear riding, which are meant to offer reinforcement and grip. I’m not entirely sure why Nat needs either of those things in combat, but there you have it. (In all seriousness, it could be because the fabric they used is less stretchy or doesn’t hold its shape the same way, so they had to piece it together differently to allow for movement and shape retention through all the stunts.)

Actually, scratch that. Why wouldn’t you need reinforcement and grip when doing this?

Weird butt panel notwithstanding, Nat’s TWS suit also introduces more protective details like leather and sewn-in kneepads, and her Widow belt actually serves to cinch in the costume instead of just sit there pointlessly, leaving her with just the tac belt. Still the dumb heels too, but I promise I’ll get over it. Maybe.

Next: Age of Ultron. People are going to side-eye the shit out of me for saying this, but... Widow’s costume continues to be less ridiculous than, say, Cap’s. Cartoonish, yes, with a lot of frankly baffling design choices, and visually I liked it the least. But weirdly enough, the construction of the suit and the fabric is less ridiculous than it seems at first glance; it looks like it’d actually offer a pretty high degree of protection in the field. Check it out.

There’s a matte leather and a similar kevlar/utility fabric as her suit in TWS, and the Widow belt and the tac belt have been combined into one so there are fewer pointless buckles. 

I mean, too bad they ruin it by adding glowing blue parts that make her look like she’s about to go cosplay as Tron as soon as she finishes saving the world, and I will never understand why her gauntlets are suddenly red, but a detail that caught my eye is right on the bodice. See those seams under her bust? 

It looks like it could be there just to draw attention to her boobs, but as a former fencer, I can tell you those are almost certainly for a chest plate or removable protective cups. (From a movie costuming perspective, they’re probably to give the bust more definition, as that’s literally an underwire construction. Yes, okay, I realize this. But if we consider the character, a chest plate makes far more sense.) And if you are a woman in a combat situation where you’re getting whacked in the tits a bunch of times, you need a fucking chest plate. She doesn’t appear to be wearing one in the other films, which is as absurd as Cap going into battle without wearing a cup. Have you ever been clocked in the tits before? With a weapon, no less? Because I have, and it’s not fun. It happens to you once, and you’re on Amazon buying a chest plate or protective cups literally the next day. Or, you know, from the toilet immediately after as you sit there crying and cradling your poor bruised boobs.

Another really practical detail is that she has proper kneepads in this costume, which is ideal if you’re sliding around on the ground a lot, or taking hard landings.

BUT WHY DO THEY GLOW IN THE DARK? /despair

Oddly enough, Nat’s suit in Captain America: Civil War was one of my least favourites--initially. But I was wrong to feel that way, and I’ll tell you why. Why didn’t I like it at first? Well, they pick up some of the same details as in TWS and add other more practical things like no-nonsense kneepads, but they also seem to add boning to the bodice of the suit, and lots of piping everywhere on the arms and torso that would probably rub unpleasantly if you were moving around that much. Unnecessary seams=friction. That’s a lesson any equestrian will tell you too.

I also was not a fan of the Farah Fawcett vibe I got from her hair, but that could just be me. Her suit here is functional, overall, but it doesn’t reinvent the wheel or make her look sleek and dangerous in the same way as TWS. It has less... style than her other suits and civilian outfits (which were my fave in this film), and after this many movies, I think we’ve come to associate the Black Widow suit with style and making certain death at her hands/thighs look good. 

But there is a point to her suit looking more tactical, which you can better see here. From this angle, she looks almost military, certainly the most military of any of the other films, and that is intentional and significant later on.

Because much like Cap’s uniform carries over to Infinity War, so does Nat’s. That was a clever segue, in case you were wondering.

This is such a departure from anything else Nat wears in the other films that you kind of have to tip your hat at the designer and the Russos and Judianna Makovsky for having such a sharp eye for detail and a knack for letting costume tell a story. Not only does Natasha change her hair and eyebrow colour, but she changes the colour of her suit too, adding in some green and almost entirely eliminating the sex appeal of the other Widow costumes. But the continuity is most impressive of all.

It’s hard to tell, but just like Steve is wearing the same uniform as in Civil War, minus the star he clawed off with his bare hands, Nat is wearing the exact same Widow costume with a tactical vest on top and some new body armour (shoulder and elbow pads). Remember that piping on the arms, legs, and bodice I bitched about a second ago? If you look closely, it’s all clearly visible in the same spots, and it’s obvious the vest just goes over top. Her kneepads and boots are the exact same too. This girl did a complete 180 on her look with nothing more than a tac vest and an emergency appointment with Guy Tang for some blonde balayage. 

It’s amazing that Steve and Sam think going incognito involves DIY distressing on their uniforms and growing some playoff beards, but Natasha can become an entirely different person just by changing a few key details. Especially the eyebrows. I once wrote a line in a fic about how her lighter eyebrows in Infinity War totally change the shape of her face. I think that’s a detail everyone noticed in the trailers, how strange she looked with those ultrablonde brows. But that’s perfect for this character and something Nat would intuitively pick up on, because it leaves her almost unrecognizable. Just like makeup can subtly change someone’s face shape, so can eyebrows, but she ditches makeup in Infinity War to the same effect. It’s the makeover equivalent of “walk, don’t run.” Kind of amazing to think she is so many steps ahead of everyone else that she can go down Dick’s Sporting Goods and CVS for nothing more than a tac vest and a box of hair dye, respectively, and literally emerge looking like a different person. When she says she’s figuring out a new cover, this is the stuff she means.

So there you have it. I hope this costume breakdown as as fun for you to read as it was to put together, and I continue to be impressed and occasionally stumped by the design choices made by the MCU costuming departments. They really do know their stuff and how important clothing is to the understanding of a character, and Nat, who is a master of tailoring her look for maximum effect, proves this rule more than almost anyone else.

Thanks for reading! I might tackle Bucky next, so stay tuned.

[sandrachile]

A Zero Waste Wedding in Pittsburgh

If you have been on Facebook lately, you have probably seen videos of turtles tangled in plastic, birds whose stomachs are full of plastic, and reports about Global Warming.

Whether your political inclinations deny or are against global warming, the truth is, our planet is polluted, and right now, you are either part of the solution or part of the problem, there is no middle ground.

But the problem is that when it comes to bringing environmentalist values to wedding planning, if you are not in California, or don’t have a 6 digit budget, it becomes a little hard, and you might end up giving up for the sake of the circumstances.

So I want to show you, where you should be focusing your energy and resources, but first, let me introduce you to the “Buyerarchy of needs” which will be inspiring our whole journey, and I hope you look at this, read it, meditate on it, and then apply it.

1: Focus on the things that don’t cost you anything, pick a vibe, a feeling as the guidance for your wedding day. 

If you look around for wedding day inspiration, everything is based on color palettes, flowers, or decor. However, since we are trying to be intentional and not use as many material things during the wedding day, it is better to base your inspiration on intangible things rather than material things, instead choose to get inspired by feelings, or the vibe you want your wedding to have. For example, the vibe for the image below was: contemporary, artsy, and fresh.

2: Focus on finding the core vendors for your wedding

(Yes, before setting up a date or even the location). Once you pick the vibe, you will need to gather the elements that will bring your vision together. But Unless you are working with the proper people, translating a concept to reality within a budget, can be hard. So, before even selecting the date for your event or the location, we highly encourage you to select the group of humans that will bring this to life. The core vendors are: Wedding Planner Venue Caterer Officiant Photographer Since the “ethical” journey begins before the wedding day itself, when reaching out to vendors, ask them upfront about what environmental practices they have in place. 

Asking this up front will set the tone for the rest of the planning process, and if this is something that is not present in their practices, your question will surely push them in the right direction.

3: Where and When?:

Choose the date and the venue.

Whether you decide to marry at home, or in a big space, there are some things that you need to take into consideration, such as accessibility for your guest, location of your party hub, weather, and of course, environmental practices. 

If you go for the most popular choice, a venue, ask them and yourself the following questions:

Does your venue send all the garbage to a landfill, or does it have any recycling practices in place? Do they offer furniture, or do you have to rent these items separately? Does the venue have decorative elements, or is it a plain room that needs a lot of stuff to look good? Does it offer in house booze/catering, or can you bring your own?

So many questions, right?

From the low waste perspective, it is a priority to choose a space that offers dishes, cups, and straws that are not plastic. 

(I doubt you want a turtle in the Caribbean to swim among the straws from your wedding day, right? … #justsayin)

4: Let’s tell the world: The stationery (Oh poop! When things get real)

Although an online invitation is often times more eco-friendly, in practice, not everybody is a fan of receiving an email, and being inclusive of older generations who are less e-literate, is a good way to honor them. So when it comes to papers, what alternatives are low waste?

The invitation is the first thing your guests see, it sets the mood for the day, it tells your guests whether joining is going to be worth it, and it announces what kind of party this is going to be. Once the invitations are sent, things get real, and telling your guest that this is an environmentally friendly kinda day deserves to be announced in an environmentally conscious way. Here is where the value of a designer that can custom work for you is a thousand times better than printing some DIY, but make sure the designer is open to working with eco-friendly papers. 

Have you heard about paper made out of elephant poop?

When it comes to being low waste, there is nothing better than options that ethically made, creative, and contribute to giving opportunities to economically and socially marginalized groups. So do your research in regards to papers, and if you are feeling like DIYing, you can DIY the envelopes from the newspapers at your grandma’s house.

PS: Oh! And forget about RSVPs! Nowadays everybody texts, so you can use an automated text message RSVP service which is the easiest way to gather replies from your guests, and automatically organizes and counts for you. SCORE!

(If you never saw paper made of poop, now you did | Stationary by the kick ass: Fresh Cut Prints )

5. Creating a wedding atmosphere: Decorations

One of the things about low waste, is that sometimes it might be a little on the plain side, so for a wedding, which we want to look special, we really have to put thought into what we bring in. 

Using what we have, or what you can realistically keep afterward is key. So, first, my biggest and probably most overlooked decoration element that is also functional is: LIGHTS!!! I’m not talking about regular light bulbs, but lighting can make an amazing decoration, which afterward leaves zero trace.

Another suggestion is to use real plants as a decorative item. Not only they will give you a decoration the day of your wedding, but will decorate your house for the years to come, and imagine having the same plants that witnessed you saying “I do”, witnessing your anniversary year after year!

"Did you know that glass can be recycled forever and ever?"  -- FUN FACT

Another element that is overlooked but it is quite easy to make, and to compost afterward is dry flowers. You can actually invest time in planting your own and meticulously dry. Finally, for any other need, hit your local thrift store! You would be surprised to see the amounts of linen available there.

Oh! And also… keep an eye on the dumpster! Someone else’s garbage always has the potential to be your treasure.

5. Time to get pretty

An element of your wedding that takes a lot of mental energy, a big chunk of your money, and it makes a massive statement in regards to the environment is fashion. And if you want to make a statement, the options for your outfit are: Ethically sourced. Wear your own. Make your own outfit. Or Vintage. This groom decided to wear his own clothes, and the bride opted for the vintage.

The statement piece for the bride was her earrings, which were upcycled. Altogether their outfits were around $30, which allowed more $$ to be allocated for other services.

As you can see, going this route is a great way to maximize your budget, but if you feel uncomfortable with the idea of wearing a vintage style of clothing, you can always purchase vintage garments and budget for the services of a seamstress that can transform your vintage piece and gives it a modern twist.

6. Beauty

I have to be the first in recognizing that zero/low waste and the beauty industry are not the best of friends. Beauty is perhaps one of the most forgotten subjects when it comes to thinking low waste wedding, maybe, because it is not you using that bottle of shampoo that will end up in a landfill, you don’t think much about it. Nowadays there are many makeup products companies using cruelty-free and vegan options (yay). But I learned from Becky, owner of the hair salon that does my hair, Tula Organics, that certain brands go to the extent of manufacturing products with 100% wind power, and they purchase carbon offset credits to balance any climate impact of their aerosol hairsprays.

She also told me about Dragon Master Foundation, a charity organization fighting to find a cure for cancer, and to whom you can send personal care and beauty containers to be recycled. This is an amazing initiative, to make the world greener and fight cancer at the same time.!

In summary:

A low impact, environmentally wedding is not unrealistic. Even if you don’t live in California, it is totally possible right here in Pittsburgh, and even with a small budget. All you might need, is to think through and plan with time, along with a good group of ethically minded wedding vendors.

Supporting Cast: Planner & Aesthetic designer: Devoted To You Events @devotedtoyouevents Florals: greenSinner @greensinner HMUA: Tula Organic @tulaorganic Venue: Kingfly Spirits @kingflyspirits Lightning: EF Lighting @eflighting Plants + Greenery: City Grows @citygrows Photographer: Sandrachile @sandrachilep Invitation Fresh Cut Prints @freshcutprints Paper Mr Ellie Pooh @mr.elliepooh Cake: Mediterra Cake House @mediterracakehouse Jewelry/Accessories Adaptive Reuse @christineterrell Calligrapher- Scarlet Day Calligraphy @scarletdaycalligraphy

[forthemultiverse]

See Me, Hear Me (love me) - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Anon: It's a Soulmate AU where once you see or hear your soulmate (even at a distance) you can hear their thoughts from there on. My idea is that Bruce is on patrol and saves his soulmate without realising it. His soulmate is continuously confused at the different thoughts until she figures out Bruce is Batman and confronts him in a super sassy way. What do you think? If you like it, feel free to use it! 

- I’m a sucker for Soulmate AUs <3<3 I didn’t really do that much of a sassy confrontation but I actually quite like what I’ve written. Thank you for a good burst of inspiration.

“We’ll be back in town soon,” Dick assured Bruce.

“You’re chatting like I can’t handle this city on my own.”

“I’m not saying you can’t handle it on your own, I’m just saying it’s been awhile since you’ve had too, and Batman needs a Robin. A sunshine.”

“Did you just say that sentence, Dick?” Bruce landed to roll his eyes at some of the things his eldest son would say.

“I’m busy, Damian’s busy, Tim’s busy, Jason’s who knows, and you don’t have a Batgirl right now. Babs can only do so much from a computer.”

“If you’re busy, why are you still talking to me.”

“We’ve decided as a group that if you don’t have healthy communication, then you’ll become a hermit and do something stupid.”

“I’m an adult. I’m your dad!”

“Occasionally.”

“Shade, Dick!” Stephanie joined the conversation

“You’re supposed to be revising or sleeping, you have an exam tomorrow.” Bruce quicked into parenting mode.

“Don’t remind me.” she groaned, signing off. Bruce went back to being Batman, gliding through the city as Dick chatted with him. It was nice to have someone to talk to.

“I thought you were gonna take tonight off anyway?”

“My plans changed.”

“Selina ditch you?”

“Having plans doesn’t mean I’m meeting Selina.”

“Who else?”

“No one else! Just changed plans.”

“You can tell me you know...” he paused, “If she’s your soulmate, we’d all get it.”

“She’s not my soulmate.”

“I just figured...”

“Would my life be easier if Selina was my soulmate? Probably, but she isn’t, so that’s the end of that discussion.”

“Did I strike a chord?”

“No.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Why are you suddenly interested in my love life?”

“I want you to be happy! I’ve always been interested.”

“I don’t need a female friend to be happy.”

“Just say, girlfriend. I’m not a teenager, I’m literally nearly thirty.”

“I don’t need a girlfriend to be happy.”

“You’re a strong independent man.”

“I feel like you’re making a joke.”

“No!” he snickered, “I just thought I’d ask.”

“Well, I have things to do and so do you, probably.” Bruce cut the comm out.

“Female friend,” a female voice started laughing

“Stephanie.”

“Leaving.”

His something to do was an abandoned building, where lots of voices were yelling inside. No lights or decorations to suggest it was some teenagers having a party. He tried to find the best side entrance - an easy to open window or door.

A part of him still didn’t understand how Selina wasn’t his soulmate. It just felt right with her, and her lifestyle worked with his. She stole because she always had and because the rush was a drug, but if they were soulmates, he could probably convince her to find that rush in helping him. She knew both sides of him. The pair of them just worked. But they weren’t soulmates. Bruce had to accept that. Someone else was destined for him, someone else out there was gonna be cursed with his thoughts every second of the day. God. That poor person. Maybe, he just didn’t have one. Maybe, Selina was his perfect match, but she was an even more perfect match for someone else, so he was the spare. There was probably just an odd number of people in the world. He would be left out. 

There wasn’t any point moping about Selina. Their relationship was so flawed, and as much as they had passion, it wasn’t love. He just didn’t like to admit it. It was just fire, and eventually, they would burn out. He might as well put them out before they caused to much damage to everything around them. He’d made the right choice by blowing her off tonight. 

But could the universe really have someone out there who matched him?

He peeked through the window, and a room full of panicking civilians were causing all the noise. He dropped to the floor, and the room went silent. Bruce could count about four grunts, and two guards knocked out across the floor, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what happened.

“Took you long enough!” A woman snapped from above the chaos. She was sitting on a table and had stood up to glare at him. 

“What?”

“We’ve been here for eleven hours, waiting for whoever they were working for to show up or kill us and we’re all tired, hungry, and a little bit annoyed.”

“Eleven hours?”

“I have a watch. Eleven hours.”

“What happened?” 

“I stole a baseball bat and knocked them out. All our phones were taken off us, so we had no way to get help but yell. You gonna do something about this or just stand here?”

“Oracle?” he summoned the police to get everyone home before getting Babs to look into what might’ve happened to get this man people here without raising any alarms. Surprisingly, it wasn’t some giant scheme, just some low-level grunts trying to be big and messing up.

Lucius needed to talk to me, Babs is covering security for me, Dicks coming home, I need to check in with Clark and see if he’s been spying on Jon and Dami or not.

You slammed your face into your pillow. You’d known your soulmate’s inner monologue for about a week now, and you were ready to throttle whoever it belonged to if she ever managed to meet them again. They could not make up their mind on who they wanted to be, or maybe they had some multipersonality disorder. If it was that, then she could maybe deal with it, but if they were just weird, then she might scream. One second they're working out how to eat a burger with a fork, another second they’re eating it like a normal person, then back to the fork. They never seem to sleep, and they do stupid detective puzzle’s every day - which might have been fun if you could see the puzzle and do it too. Now you were just focused on not thinking anything. 

It’s extremely hard to function in the world without thinking. You had no clue how some of the people you knew managed it. 

Keep calm, think about puppies, think about your favourite shows, no, don’t do that. What if you think something weird. God. The universe is such a little bitch. Who thought mind reading was a good idea.

Bruce was freaking out a little bit. He’d learnt to clear his thoughts as part of training, he could filter out some of the things that might give his identity away. Alfred had laughed at him for being scared of a soulmate, but Bruce wasn’t sure what else he was supposed to be. He didn’t know who it was, he just knew it was after a patrol night. What if it was some thief he’d stopped. He couldn’t help but agree with the voice. Mind reading was stupid. 

I could just think the puzzle aloud if you’re that desperate to be involved

Oh, my god, we can just chat like this? Crap, crap, crap, you’ve heard everything I think. I’m so sorry. I feel so invasive. I’ve just been eavesdropping your life, and I don’t mean to! I promise I’ve tried zoning out.

Were you a hostage?

Straight to the point. I could just tell you who I am.

...

Why not? Are you scared or something? If I’m one of the hostages...do you know something I don’t? The police told me that it was nothing.

It was nothing just-

How do you do that? I should be able to read your thoughts, but you keep shutting me out. How?”

It’s a skill.

...

Where’d you go?

So you would be panicked if I just disappeared...you want to know if I’m a hostage because...oh my god please be Batman.

Why would you want me to be Batman?

Because it’s Batman or a kidnapper.

Or another hostage.

Nah, if you were another hostage, you would’ve thought about it more.

Are you the girl with the baseball bat?

Yeah.

Why did you have a baseball bat?

So you are Batman.

...

That would explain the sleep schedule. It’s keeping me up you know. Having your brain so active means the second mine switches off I get yours.

Sorry

beat

beat

beat

I had the bat because one of them dropped it while trying to grab my ass. He touched me, so I smacked him around the head. The others came to try and detain me, but I was in a bit of a state. You saw the end result.

They touched your butt?

Yeah. I tried asking what was going on, he said some sexist crap then tried to ‘show me who’s boss’. Bit scarring. Not something a girl in this town isn’t used to. Not everyone gets to be a princess.

I’m sorry I’m keeping you up.

It’s okay. I mean, it’s for a good enough cause right. Making Gotham a better place, giving kids something to look up to, but where’s Robin? I miss seeing the red cape at night.

He’s...making friends.

I have to go, my friend needs me to cover her shift at work. Get ready for a few hours of me repeating things over and over again.

What’s your job?

I’m a bit of an artist, work in advertising for a few companies - design websites, run social media accounts, make videos and billboards and unique displays. I’ve illustrated some books. Those graffiti billboards for the main cinema’s are all me. The inspiration art round the town’s me too. My friend’s sick, works at a restaurant. We look alike so I can get away covering for her.

You couldn’t sleep that night. Too many thoughts. Too awake.

If I’m going to adapt to your sleep schedule, do you want to chat or would that be too much of a distraction? Don’t want to put you at risk.

I can talk.

So...all your side kicks...are they all your kids? Cos I’m not judging, but that’s a lot.

Is that really the first question you want to ask?

Yeah?

One of them is my biological child, my son, the others are all my family though.

How old is he?

Thirteen

Fun age. Is he a rude teen yet.

He’d been a rude teen for a while now.

The others?

It’s kinda a long list.

I have all night.

Five boys total, one girl legally mine but two of my son’s girlfriends are basically members of the family. 

All of them are heroes?

Yes

Real good parenting. 

I’m a cool dad.

You didn’t just say that.

I didn’t know what I was doing with the eldest one, and once you let one kid do something you have to let them all do it!

That’s more understandable.

Large or small family?

Small, my brother moved abroad, and my parents are not part of my life. A big family sounds fun. So does that mean your kids found their soulmates before you? That's gotta hurt, no offence

It only hurts if you weren't worth the wait

Harsh!

You seem pretty worth the wait.

Won me back.

You opened your apartment door to find a basket of art supplies, a new laptop and drawing bag sitting on your desk. Your window, which had been open when you left, was now closed.

How did you find out where I lived?

I’m - 

If you say, Batman,

Batman

Can you hear me sighing

You sound very dramatic, much disappointment, and now you’re laughing

How’d you even know what to buy?

My son’s very into art, I asked him what the best supplies were then researched most useful digital tablets.

So you’re rich. I figured since you fund all this Bat stuff, but like you must be so rich to support that many teens on top.

I’m comfortable

That’s what rich people say to seem less rich.

It’s polite

Thank you

Something’s bothering you.

You managed to surprise me when I can read your mind. You’re hiding things from me.

It’s hard for me to be open.

Yeah, that’s not an answer.

I barely know you, you can’t just expect me to open my entire world to you.

Why not? Isn’t the beauty of this. Someone who is perfect for you, who you can trust completely, who you have nothing to hide from, who you can’t lie to. Someone who keeps you honest and good, and complete. They get you. And don’t give me the barely know me crap, I’ve been one hundred percent readable. You’ve heard everything from movie reactions to my internal monologue when I walk to a job. You know my opinions on everything.

I don’t really want to have this conversation.

You don’t have the option not to. I mean, am I ever going to meet you again. Do I ever get to see the face under the cowl? Do your family even know you have a soulmate?

You can’t just ignore me

It’s complicated

You’re making it complicated

 What have you got going on tonight that’s making you so stressed? You thought about sitting on your couch and watching a movie

Work Event

Batman Work or Real Life Work

Batman is real life

That sounded like such a bratty teen response. ‘It’s not a hobby, it’s a lifestyle mum - you just understand my passion!’

Are you trying to compare being Batman to a gamer guy?

Lil’ bit, don’t take it to heart.

Do you want me to tell you who did it?

Can you hear what I’m watching?

No, you’re just thinking about it a lot.

You've seen it before?

Watched half of it, stopped.

Figured out the murderer?

Maybe.

Just say yes, don’t pretend to be modest.

I am modest.

Yeah, wearing a mask all the time must get tough. Never getting the praise, the thanks...Have people ever claimed to be you?

I can still hear you trying to work out the murderer before half way.

Give me this one win.

Maybe you were playing with him a little bit. You’d been working on learning to tune your thoughts out. Thinking about things in codes so he couldn’t work out what you were doing. Really, you didn’t care who the murderer was - you were about to work out who he was.

After three months of conversations like this, you really did like him. Small details, he was trusting you more, it felt nice. Listening to him rant about some of the people that worked for him had helped you connect the dots. Now you just wanted to see if he was impressed with you. 

A soulmate was someone who connected with you on a level more than the rest of the world. They’d love you, and you’d love them. You wanted to be loved, but talking through amind connection was getting a bit old, nothing could beat sitting somewhere quiet and chatting with someone, seeing how their face changed and moved during the conversation. Little talks, face to face. Seeing a real person, a person to fit the voice. 

You were wearing a homemade dress. You were good dressmaking though. It was gold and shiny, and when you wore it, you felt like a princess. You had a feeling Bats was on to you. He had left you the mask after all. A black masquerade mask that contrasted your bright colour choice. You were getting a bit sick of hearing his love isn’t the part of the job, I don’t deserve love monologues too. He was the Knight, but you weren’t, and you’d be the day for as long as he needed if it meant you got to see him face to face. 

The large family, large amount’s of money, training to become Batman. It all made sense really. Bruce Wayne. Busy lifestyle with connections to the GCPD through the Gordon family, and Lucius Fox working with him a lot. It all made so much sense. 

Bruce Wayne.

(Y/N) Wayne.

You were kinda lucky. A superhero, billionaire, who’d buy you art stuff and talk puzzles - even if he already knew the answer.

You didn’t want to filter your thoughts anymore, you didn’t want him filtering his. 

“Name?” the bodyguard asked at the door

“Bruce Wayne’s plus one.”

“He doesn’t have a plus one listed.”

“Give me a sec.” You could see him.

Where are you?

Look up

What?

Look up.

Where?

Just look up Greatest Detective, I’m hard to miss. Gold dress, mask you left. 

Where!

See me, Bruce. You can hear me, see me.

He made eye contact with you and started laughing slightly. You’d been worried he might get mad. He might not want you here. He might not even be your soulmate. You could’ve made a huge mistake somewhere in your detective process.

I’ll give you this one.

You started laughing now

What was that you said about ‘not everyone gets to be a princess?’ You definitely look like a princess to me.

Come let me in.

The bodyguard could tell something was up. Bruce’s sudden attention towards the door, and the laughter. You suddenly blushing.  

“She’s with me.”