#but im also going to doctors appointments daily

[aconfusedkitten]

i need my body to stop breaking down on me, please and thank you.

[twinksintrees]

what if i never get to live the life i want

[themanwhowouldbefruit]

my doctor was sooooo fucking worthless and unhelpful im going to masturbate and i hope it fucking kills me

[neuroticboyfriend]

ive seen people talk about the whole "wow, you can't work? im jealous, i wish i could rest all the time." and like yes, it isn't restful because it's filled with distressing symptoms. but also? there is such a thing as too much down time. you genuinely don't want to be laying in bed or sitting on the couch all the time. you don't want to be stuck doing things that don't result in any tangible fulfillment, just to escape the boredom. and you certainly don't want all that on top of the pain, fatigue, etc. that comes with disability.

a lot of us don't get to go for a daily walk. we don't get to just get up and go to the store, out to eat, the library, or whatever event is happening nearby. we often can't engage with our passions, at the very least to the extent we'd like. we're stuck, and often can't meet our basic needs like hygiene. there's so much down time and nothing to fill it with. our doctors appointments might be the only thing to get us out of the house. it's depressing. it's lonely. and at a certain point you can start to wonder why you're even alive in the first place.

so no. you don't wish you could be like us. you just don't want to be slaving away to a job that doesn't care about you, takes up all your time, and prevents you from doing the things you love. so just say that instead. because as people who can't work, who are so aware of the cruelty of this system, odds are we'll understand. and instead of alienating us, we'd be able to connect with you on that. and connection and understanding is something that makes life a lot better. worth living for, even.

[dovveri]

doctor's advice

synopsis: y/n decides to go to the leading plastic surgery clinic in korea bcs she's sick of feeling the way she does about how she looks. she catches the attention of dr. im nayeon, the head of this practice who thinks y/n is way too pretty to warrant any of those feelings she has about herself.

warnings: this is lowkey just smut oops, fingering, oral, body image issues - so a lil angsty in the beginning

w/c: 4.2k

a/n: this one is kinda all over the place and i lwk hate it but i needed to finish it so i could get over this writing block like i did kindaaa have a vision for it but i gave up halfway and just turned to sex which is why it doesn't flow well LMAO but hey! doctor nayeon is hot so!

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

"can i get your full name please?"

"y/n l/n."

the receptionist smiles at you, typing something into her computer and handing you a form, "alright y/n, just fill in this form and someone will be with you in a bit."

you nod, accepting the form and taking a seat in the waiting room of the plastic surgery clinic you were currently at.

you scan over the details of the form. most of it was just demographic information, asking you your age, gender, a little about your daily activities, whether or not you actively exercised, all the simple questions.

you were feeling a little desperate when you finally decided to make a first consultation at the most well-renowned plastic surgery clinic in seoul. you had been thinking about doing it for a while now, but lately the feeling of disgust at being in your own body was overwhelming.

your parents didn’t understand why you’d want to do anything to the body they brought into this world. your friends thought plastic surgery was an excessive response and that it could potentially be dangerous. but none of them understood what it felt like to wake up everyday and be reminded that you were stuck in this body, the fear that no-one will ever be able to love you and that you’d consequently end up alone for the rest of your pitiful life.

your grip on the pen grows a little tighter as you remind yourself why you’re here.

you feel a set of eyes on you as you’re getting to the end of the form, so you look up, locking eyes with a gorgeous woman in a clean white lab coat, curious eyes behind a set of thick spectacles that frame her face perfectly. with all your experience analysing how you look you can't help but think she would be the perfect reference for your surgical procedures.

but you're also hit with thoughts of why is she looking at me? is she judging me? i bet she's judging me. fuck what is she looking at? is it my legs? my arms? my nose? is she thinking i'm an unsolveable case? fuck i shouldn't have come here. i should go now-

"hi, y/n?"

you're snapped out of your thoughts when you realise the pretty woman is now standing in front of you.

"y-yes." you curse at the stutter but she pays it no mind, offering a smile.

"the receptionist gave me your name. i'm dr im but you can call my nayeon. do you want to come with me?"

your eyes widen when she introduces herself. dr im. the most well-renowned plastic surgeon in the industry. you heard rumours that she had waitlists up to 20 years long and that you couldn't get an appointment with her except through referral. she was the one who brought this clinic its reputation of the leading plastic surgery clinic in the country.

"i-i'm sorry there must be some mistake? i didn't think the dr. im would be my advising clinician today."

she smiles again, "well no i wasn't meant to be but i came to grab some files from the front desk and i saw you and asked jiyeon," she gestures to the receptionist who handed you your form, "and found out you were here for an advisory session and forgive me if i'm being forward but i just thought you were beautiful and wondered what you possibly could've wanted to get done."

you feel your cheeks rapidly heat up as you gape up at her in shock.

"i can call back the previous doctor who was assigned to you if you want! i didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable i'm sorry if i-"

you interrupt her quickly, "no no! sorry that was just a surprise to me i definitely wasn't expecting that from you but um- yeah sure we can go now i'm fine with you being my doctor."

she grins then, and you're entranced by her slightly larger front teeth that make an appearance, "great! follow me."

you stand up a little frantically, gathering all your things and quickly following dr im.

it's more of an office than a doctor's room, you note the expensive leather and framed awards and certifications hanging on her wall, the neatly organised desk and pretty flowers that decorate and give the room some colour.

you sit cautiously in one of the chairs in front of her desk as she moves to sit in hers

"water?" she offers you.

you shake your head no, glancing down at your hands and fiddling with them just to be able to do something.

she looks over your form very briefly before looking back to you with a kind smile. "so what were you hoping to get out of coming here today y/n?"

you can't look up at her, "u-um just... y'know. like... everything..."

she cocks her head, "everything?"

"yeah like... face, body, all of it."

nayeon frowns, "that would be quite an expensive procedure."

"oh money's not really a problem. i've saved up a lot for this." you try to joke a little, if only to ease your own nerves, "worked my ass off all throughout high school and college so i could do this one day."

"you don't want to spend that money on anything else?"

you're confused and finally look up at her, "well i mean sure there are plenty of things i could spend it on but this is something i've thought about for a long time now and i'm finally ready to do it."

she's quiet for a little, seeming to be deep in thought, before she speaks up, "y/n... has someone made you feel like this?"

you frown, your sweaty hands gripping your pants tighter, "i'm sorry what does this have to do with my appointment?"

"i want to make sure you're doing this for the right reason. wanting to alter your entire body is a big decision and it can have lasting impacts. i don't want you to regret it afterwards."

you're getting more and more frustrated. this was a famous plastic surgeon who dealt with thousands of surgeries and has probably met cases like yours but she still doesn't seem to understand you. just like your parents and your friends, no-one understood.

"why does it matter to you? i want to get lots of things done that’ll make you lots of money and that really should be your only concern."

she narrows her eyes at you, “y/n, i couldn’t care less about the money. look around.” she gestures to her office, all the expensive trinkets and decorations she has lying around, “i have enough money to support a family for 100 lifetimes. what i do care about are my clients-”

you burst, “what do you know?! you’ve probably spent your whole life being adored for everything you do. people probably fall over themselves just to get a chance to talk to you! you’ll never understand how it feels to be unloved, to hate yourself when you wake up every morning and look in the mirror, to think everyone’s always talking about you, looking at you, judging you, you’re so beautiful you couldn’t ever know!”

she’s surprised at your sudden increase in volume. you had kept all of this in for so long, you felt like if you ever told anyone else they’d just think you were complaining but it was so much more debilitating than that. you couldn’t talk to your parents or your friends out of fear they’d think you were too needy or attention-seeking or whatever. nayeon was the first stranger who had shown they cared for you and you took that as a sign to release all your years of pent up frustration at her.

“i- i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to explode like that i-“

“it’s okay y/n. i’m sorry you’ve had to feel like this for so long on your own. but i just want to say, i’m not one of those people. i know it’s hard to believe when you look at me and what i’ve accomplished, but i find it hard to believe no-one loves you. and sure i judged you when i first saw you but not negatively. i told you i thought you were what i thought to be the perfect model for other people’s procedures and i was curious what you wanted to change about that.”

she’s collected herself and responds to you calmly, only with the curiosity of a scientist in her eye.

you’re unsure how to respond to her, feeling more than a little awkward now after your accidental outburst.

you attempt to clear your throat to start, “right… um so-“

“why don’t you take off your clothes and show me what you’d like to have done?”

you blush a bright red at her response, nodding slightly as you both stand and you begin to strip. you leave your underwear on as she stands in front of you, running her eyes over your body.

“um… so i guess if we’re starting from the bottom… i wanted to slim my calves down and shape them a little better… obviously um my ass i’d like to be a little rounder-“ you gesture to your various body parts as you talk, and she’s nodding, eyes focused, hands reached out as you feel goosebumps litter your skin when she gently probes the areas you're talking about.

"would you mind taking off your underwear? i just need to get an estimate of what you're talking about."

you blush again as you nod shyly, peeling the offending piece of item off you and turning as she prods and pokes again.

"um... yeah so i was also thinking a tummy tuck? just to tighten all the skin here-"

the feeling of her fingers on your body is slowly driving you insane. you're shivering a little as she runs her hand along your lower stomach, humming a little.

"um also like y'know, a boob job-"

she gestures for you to take off your bra and you do so, now standing completely naked in front of the doctor.

her hands come up and cup them, your nipples are hardening in the cool air of her office, "what size were you thinking?"

"i-i- u-um-" she squeezes a little and you take a deep inhale, trying to calm yourself, your eyes glued to the ceiling as she fondles you, "m-maybe one up?"

she hums and you feel a thumb brush across a nipple whether intentionally or unintentionally and you're suddenly clenching your thighs together praying she doesn't notice.

"so also um arm lifts, a face lift, kinda wanna hollow out my cheeks a little more and maybe highlight my cheekbones? lip fillers and a new nose, all of my scars obviously, and probably a brow lift too..."

her hands are on your face now, cupping your cheeks and she's close enough you can see the small specks of gold in her eyes and the little mole under her left eyebrow. your breath hitches as her eyes meet yours, they're so full of wonder and curiosity and you're reminded of the fact that you're very naked right now and standing in front of an extremely pretty woman.

she hums again, eyes dropping to your nose, than your lips, and you unconsciously wet your lips in tension, watching as her eyes trace the action.

then all of a sudden she's gone, moving back towards her chair and turning on her monitor. you quickly scramble for your clothes, hurriedly putting everything back on as you join her, blushing at the slightly sticky feeling between your legs.

"okay so we can do everything you just said. i'm going to need a few references-"

"you can use yourself for most of them."

she raises an eyebrow at you, a slight lift in the corner of her mouth.

"i appreciate the compliment y/n but if you're going to play that game then i'd like to say i wouldn't want to be sitting here discussing what to change about you in the first place."

"what would you be doing then?"

there's a glint in her eyes and you swallow, "helping you realise how there's nothing to change. eventually i'd get you to help me take a few pictures maybe, as reference for future customers who come in."

"and how would you do that?"

"how would i make you feel beautiful?" she's standing up and rounding her desk, taking her glasses off and placing them on her table, and you're looking up at her feeling strangely defiant.

"well yeah it'd be pretty hard knowing how much i hate myself-"

her arms now bracket the sides of your chair and she's leaning down with a clear smirk on her face.

"i'd touch along here," she's trailing one of her hands up your arm, leaving goosebumps in her wake, "here," she reaches your neck, then up to your face, leaning in to speak into your ear now, "everywhere just so you know exactly what i'm talking about. and i'd make you feel so good like you've never felt before, and i'd keep doing that until you realise just how crazy you drive me."

your eyes are lidded when you speak up again, voice hoarse and deep, "try it."

she's all in your space now, climbing into into your lap, lips closing around your ear lobe as she sucks. your eyes close and you groan a little when her hips meet yours, tilting your head back distantly wondering how the fuck you got yourself in this situation but quickly shaking that thought off when you feel her move towards your neck, licking and sucking.

soon enough she's moving up your jaw and towards your lips, one hand on your shoulder, the other one at your waist. she stops just short of your lips with a little smirk on her face as you share the same air.

your eyes meet her in a blaze and you surprise her when you yank her down, she moans when that brings your hips together even closer and you capture her lips with impatient want. her hands are tangling into your hair now, pulling lightly as your lips slide against each other, your breath hitching when she licks a tongue along your top lip.

“these- fucking- lips-“ she’s breaking away between kisses for air, panting softly.

“i can’t believe- you’d want to do anything- when i could kiss these- all fucking day-“

she’s breaking away again, leaving you chasing as she places pecks all across your face, “new nose? please this slant is perfect. these cheeks are adorable and these eyebrows shape your pretty pretty face just right-“ she’s kissing every inch of your skin, moving back down to your neck and nipping at your collarbone.

her hands are at the bottom of your shirt, sneaking up to caress the lines of your stomach and you let out a sharp inhale when one hand comes unashamedly up to cup your breast.

“how could you be making those pretty sounds if this wasn’t your body i was touching hmm?” she’s lifting your shirt over your head, sliding her hands everywhere.

"breast implants?" she scoffs as she brings her hands behind your back to unclasp your bra, flinging it behind her and moving her hands straight to cup your tits. "please darling look how perfectly these fit in my hands. and the way they spill out between my fingers if i squeeze like this-" you moan unabashedly now when she gropes and grasps.

"god i could just hold these all day-" she's dipping down, a tongue tracing the top of your breast, the hot feeling against your skin driving you absolutely mad as you roll your hips against her with a whimper.

she pushes you back down roughly with her hips, looking up at you, her hands never stopping her fondling at your breasts, she is obscene. "don't do that now sweetie. i'm meant to be taking care of you and showing you just how pretty you are to me. so you're gonna sit there and look pretty while i do exactly that mmk?"

she's taking a nipple into her mouth now, licking and sucking, and you hiss when she bites down softly, feeling her mouth turn upward at the sound.

she lavishes your breasts, leaving you quivering and flushed in her wake, she makes small comments in between periods of sucking marks into the side of your tits, her tongue has never once left your body since she started, wet trails leading everywhere.

she's kissing down your stomach now and you suck in a breath as she sinks to her knees in front of you, looking up at you with those curious eyes, completely clothed still in her white labcoat, mouth wrecked and lips in a pretty little pout. she's spreading your legs and you're fighting a little against her, embarassed at the fact that her face would be so close to you and she could see every little detail of your arousal.

she tuts but shuffles back a little, letting you close your legs again but she picks one up and starts feeling along your calf, pressing gently at the muscles there and feeling you unclench in relief.

"these don't need anything done either. you're just a little tense here. some stretching and a good massage will work those kinks right out and you won't even notice them anymore."

she's pressing down on all the pressure points to release the tension in your calves, and you moan slightly in pleasure as your head lolls back, eyes squeezing shut, cool air hitting your wet breasts, nipples perking at the lack of attention and you shudder.

you're helpless when she starts spreading your legs again, miraculous hands moving up to your knees, still kneading and massaging, then up to your thighs.

then her mouth is on you again, hot and wet against the inside of your thighs and you're squirming, breathing picking up as the tension in the room multiplies tenfold. you don't dare look down at her afraid the sight may just push you over the edge.

but hands come shooting down to her head when that tongue, that fucking tongue, licks a gentle strip from the bottom of your cunt to the top, stalling at the hood of your clitoris and pushing it back only to place a small peck on the nub and moving back down to drink in the essence flowing out of you.

"f-fuck dr im i-i-"

she stops, looking up at you with a quirk of an eyebrow, a lustful darkness seeping into her curious eyes, "call me that again."

"doctor im?"

she's back to lapping at your pussy and you moan, closing your thighs around her head, one arm raised up and holding on to the back of the chair to keep yourself upright.

"so fucking delicious. my god i could just tie you up and eat you out for hours."

you're whining, cunt clenching at her words but she's prying your folds open with her fingers, enamoured by the way your hole only seems to leak more with every action she takes, then she's licking into you and you cry out at the feeling. her tongue lashing against your walls as she moans at the taste of your core, sending shockwaves of pleasure right up your spine.

you can't take much more but she's lifting your ass and gripping, tugging you closer to her so she can explore even more of you.

eventually her mouth comes up for air and she's grabbing and kneading your ass cheeks, "these?-" her voice is a lot more gravelly now, thick with lust and she's panting slightly, "you don't know how perfect these are. they're the exact amount of firmness but still soft enough that i could use your ass like a pillow and you're talking about shape?" she sends a light slap up into you and you gasp, only clenching even harder around nothing, "just look how that rippled for me darling you need to know how fucking hot you look right now and how much you turn me on just from looking at you."

she almost sounds like she's growling with the low tenure of her voice and she's tugging you back into her, kissing your clit and sucking it into her mouth.

"d-doc- i- i- oh fuck- i'm gonna-"

she offers no response, just humming into you and you rut your hips into her at the vibration, completely helpless and positively dripping.

soon enough you're spilling over, coming with a moan, your back arching and she's licking you through it, you're completely blissed out heaving in effort before you slump back down into the chair.

but she doesn't stop. you're feeling overstimulated as she continues her assault on your pussy and you're lightly tugging her hair upwards trying to get her to come up but she's shaking her head no, and then shaking her head to tongue you side to side and you're building up all over again.

"w-wait d-doc i- i can't i just- doc-"

she looks up at you then, and holy fuck you almost came again at the sight. her slightly disheveled hair, eyes glazed over, mouth open and tongue sticking out absolutely ruined.

she's moving back up your body, kissing along places she's already left her mark on. "what did i say about sitting still and looking pretty baby? hmm?" a long finger finds its way to your folds and you're clenching in anticipation. "i said i'd make you cum as many times as it'll take for you to realise you're hot right? i'm not one to take back my words sweetie."

"f-fuck i- oh shit doc i-"

she's pushing into you torturously slow, a teasing smirk against your neck, "hm?"

"nggh fuck please- please i need- fuck- i need you- oh shit-"

"this?" another finger joins her but she stays hilted inside you, unmoving as you wriggle under her.

"ah- y-yes! p-please move- oh fuck i- please-" you're babbling at this point, almost incoherent but she's sliding out of you and then pushing in oh so wonderfully.

she's back to mouthing at your nipple, the sensitive nubs sending flares of heat down to your core, "so so pretty."

"i- yes- i- oh fuck-"

her fingers are entering you at a faster pace now, the wet sounds of your fucking filling the empty office.

all of a sudden there's a loud knock at the door and she stills inside you, looking up in slight alarm, nipple popping out of her mouth.

"doctor im your 3pm is here."

you can't help but clench around her fingers and she whips her head back down to you, wiggling her fingers a little at the feeling and you gasp.

"tell them to wait! i'll be another 10 minutes."

she's started moving inside you again and you bite your lip trying to keep quiet.

"alright." the sound of footsteps walking away is quiet before nayeon is driving into you again with renewed vigour.

she's hitting the spot inside you that's making your toes curl, her lips are back around your nipple sucking and licking, and then she's using a hand and pressing down lightly on your lower stomach stimulating your g-spot both from the inside and outside and you cry out around her as you come.

you're panting as she brings you back down, caressing your face and pushing your hair back, moving up to leave kisses all across your face again.

you're only able to open your eyes after a minute or so, blinking dazedly at her as she smiles and plants a kiss on your lips.

"listen... if you want... how about you give me a chance to make you feel loved, to show you how beautiful you are, and if you still feel that way about yourself afterwards, then i'll do all those surgeries for you personally, no more questions asked." she's soft against you, and you can't help but nuzzle your head into her neck, still a little boneless.

"okay."

"okay?" her eyes are bright as she pulls back so she can face you.

you nod with a lazy smile and she's hugging you, kissing your face again murmuring sweet you're so prettys and you did so wells.

too soon and she's lifting herself off you, helping you back into your clothes and standing by the door.

"i'm sorry that i had another appointment. i totally forgot. but i've got your number in my files so i'll message you after work today okay? maybe if you're free tonight we can grab something to eat together?"

you're shy as she's sending you off, nodding a small yes.

"okay don't ghost me now yeah?"

you blush, "y-yeah. see you dr. im."

"nayeon please. you can call me nayeon when we're not... y'know-" she sends you a wink and you only blush more, only barely stopping yourself from bowing to her in apology.

"alright n-nayeon."

"there we go. i'll see you in a bit okay y/n?"

you smile and walk out the door she's opened for you. it would still be a long way before you could be happy with yourself, but you thought maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to postpone your surgeries for a little and see what im nayeon likes so much about you.

[tshifty]

actually yk what im going to just make a running list of things ive been thinking about and others may also want to over the coming weeks and months, and ill just keep updating this so it's shared:

if you are transitioning or are hoping to, make a plan to talk to your local abortion funds and radical queer orgs about how they are going to maintain access to T and other hormones etc.

if you take birth control, start thinking through ways to maintain your access. they will be coming for birth control and likely other forms of contraception too.

make sure you know who your local abortion funds are, and/or abortion funds in states surrounding where you live. they will be stockpiling plan B, you also can do that it has a 4 year shelf life.

if your passport expires anytime in the next 4 years I would encourage going ahead and getting it renewed. it will last 10 years.

know who your neighbors are. talk to your neighbors. im so serious. online communities are great but we need people in our real daily lives. join a club or an organization if you aren't part of one. find your people. community will be our grounding point.

does your area have a community garden? find where! know where your food pantries are. start thinking through ways to look out not only for yourself but for your neighbors and communities, for those who already are struggling and whose circumstances will get increasingly worse.

look into tap water filtration and air purifiers. if and when they gut governmental institutions it will start impacting our air and water, particularly if you live in a major city. yall saw what the wildfire smoke did across the northern US last year, that will happen again.

start to slowly stock up on covid tests. many city libraries give out free covid tests-- don't go grab a ton all at once, but just make sure you have a few boxes on hand for yourself and your friends/family. make sure you're keeping a pulse on the expiration dates, but they typically last quite a while and many are good even beyond the originally listed expiration date.

are you up to date on your vaccines? if not, make sure to get that done at your next doctor's appointment.

[the-tricksters]

so, i found out yesterday at my doctors appointment that i:

1. most likely have POTS

2. have moderate to mild hearing loss

3. will need to see someone about my chronic pain as it's pretty severe

before the appointment, i wrote down all my symptoms that indicate POTS, and the list ended up being roughly 4 pages long

the doctor read through every single symptom i had, asked more thorough questions, then gave me referrals to cardiology! she said it sounds very likely that i have POTS, and that i should definitely see someone soon as my symptoms/chronic pain are really severe

she also listened to me and gave me referrals to audiology when i told her about my hearing problems! she actually had me take a hearing test right there at the office, and my hearing loss was between moderate and mild, at 35 decibels (some sources say thats only mild, while others say its between moderate and mild). not the worst, but definitely enough that it impacts me on a daily basis. im going to get otc hearing aids for now until i can see an audiologist and see if those help at all!

and!! i got referrals for neurology, as my fainting/migraines/possible dissociative seizures are definitely something worth looking into!

overall, the appointment was absolutely wonderful! the staff was amazing and listened patiently to all my problems and took me very seriously! i was so happy that i wasn't dismissed this time!!

i can't wait to see cardiology and audiology, those are the ones im most excited to get answers from

so yeah! hopefully i can get appointments in this year and see everyone i need to!

- 🐀

[ssahotchnerr]

hello sweet katie!! i hope ur well <3 not so much a request but more thoughts that are domestic specific :’)

thinking about sharing a bedroom with aaron & the intimacy of morning/bedtime routines :’) making the bed together in the morning, banter about who can use the shower/bathroom first, making coffee for one another, undressing/dressing together, laughing at each other in the mirror when your mouths are covered in toothpaste 💙💙

or the silent & gentle undressing of one another if it’s been a long day, running the shower/bath for the other, casual touches on the arm or waist to move one another to the side to reach a bathroom cabinet or something in a dresser drawer, pulling back the sheets/blanket to sleep together 🥰

also thinking about aaron knowing how you like your laundry folded, learning to cook your favorite meals because it makes you happy, bringing you not one but two bouquets of flowers so you can keep one in the house & one at work (if work allows :’)), sneaking extra snacks in the shopping cart at the grocery store to see if you’ll notice, picnics in the park with you & Jack during the warmer weather, kissing you in car just because 🦋🦋

idk just full of domestic feels & im sad that we didn’t get to see more of that side of him 🤧 if i think of anything more, i’ll share <3

au revoir for now, mon amie 😚

-🧡

everything you just said 😭 perfection.

the intimacy of waking up in the morning 🥹 it's a daily occurrence that aaron makes fun of you for hogging the blanket while the two of you are making the bed - it's always bunched up on your side. or every so often, you manage to take possession of aaron's pillow in the middle of the night. so when the two of you wake up, he's always so confused on how you managed to do that ??? like how do you possibly steal the pillow from underneath his head while sleeping 😭 and as the two of you are brushing your teeth, you both discuss your plans for the day <333 you have an appointment to go to, aaron has to attend a meeting that he's absolutely dreading, jack has a doctor's appointment, etc.. and if anyone else was listening, they wouldn't be able to comprehend any of it - the two of you are basically incoherent due to mouths filled with toothpaste/talking while brushing teeth, but since it's habit, and because both of you know each other like the back of your hand, you can understand each other perfectly 😭 AND whoever get's ready first gets to wake up jack, so the two of you are racing each other to do so hehe <3333 just 😭 you finishing first, then booking it out of your bedroom with aaron is trying to stop you by grabbing your waist from behind, both giggling like absolute idiots down the hall to jack's room 🥰 (i now have the desperate need to turn this into a whole fic omg omg)

aaron is a sucker for physical touch i'll say it forever 😭 he loves having a hand on you at all times - lingering touches, hand on your back as he passes, hand on your thigh during meals or in the car, or simply your hand in his. and he always finds a way to touch you, no matter where the two of you are <333 never needs a reason to kiss you, he'll plant one of you out of nowhere. hehe and every time he does any of that, you turn into a blushing mess, so that's only another reason for him to do so 🥹 and likewise, he loves showering/taking baths with you. just being close in all ways, shapes and forms >>>> and since work can call him away at any time :( he'll take advantage of all the time he gets with you, and throughout cases, he's looking forward to coming home to you and being attached to your hip once again <3

omg he's so mindful of your preferences it's insane. he picks up on things you don't even mention. the laundry example 😭 not only does he know your preferred way of folding, he knows exactly how you like it to be put away - what goes in what drawers, what gets put into drawers versus the closet, he even knows how you organize your shoes. when you opened a drawer after he put away laundry, very soon after you first moved in, you were absolutely astounded at what you found - socks tucked together next to your underwear, sleep shirts folded on the right side. specifically the right. and UGH your heart just about burst out of your chest because he just silently noticed that's how you like it, and so he'll make an effort - that's how it'll be <333

as for flowers 🤭😭 the two bouquets 😭 hehe your coworkers are always gushing how you have the most perfect man whenever there's fresh flowers on your desk, and how jealous they are their partners never think to do the same 😭 and sometimes those new flowers just randomly appear on your desk AHHH you immediately whip out your phone to text aaron - "flowers again?🥺" because no matter how many times you receive them, they'll always surprise you. and like the drunk in love idiot aaron is he always replies with something cheesy 🙄🥰 like 'anything for my flower. so glad you love them' 😭😭😭

thank you so much for sharing and please continue to do so!!!!!!!!!!! UGH the cm writers completely robbed us of domestic aaron it makes me so :( >:(

[skeletal-r3xie]

Hi everyone, kind of a long update:

I booked an appointment at the doctors for the lumps in my neck, only to realise after some heavy googling afterwards that my lymph nodes are just swollen, which yes is weird bc I’m not ill, but they are relatively normal for swollen lymph nodes, as in they’re painful (a good sign), and they aren’t absolutely massive. So now I’m afraid I’m gonna look like an absolute knob to the doctor because i didn’t even know you had lymph nodes there 🫠

They have no apparent cause to be swollen though, so on a whim I did a little research to see if my 4n0r3x14 is what’s causing it, and I didn’t find any professional healthcare websites on this, but I did find a comment on an 3D forum of a girl who said she was 4n0r3x1c for just under a year and had permanent swollen lymph nodes in her neck.

Another commenter replied saying that it could essentially just be that her body is treating her as if she’s permanently sick, and so is mass-producing lymphocytes (white blood cells) to try and fight some invisible infection lol (when it’s really an 3D)

So if it’s anything, it’s probably that. But obviously I ain’t telling the doctor that, I’ve contemplated cancelling the appointment, but with my social anxiety I just feel like it would be an even bigger inconvenience to them and also I realllyyyyy hate calls.

Also, another thing I’ll mention here to see if anybody has any possible reason for this: I haven’t had my period yet, when I definitely should have. And I know your periods can stop with an 3D, but this fast? Really? I’ve only been back into it for 2 weeks. I’ve had the other symptoms that a period is coming, mainly my b00b$ (idk if I can say that without getting t3rm3d or smth lol), but yeah they’ve been very tender and heavy, which usually happens before my period, but I’ve just not had one still, and they‘ve been tender like that now for a good week and a half.

I definitely don’t think I’m pregnant, but my boyfriend is going to pick me up a test today just to bring me some ease.

Anyways, back to the actual 3D shit:

I haven’t eaten today yet, I had a C4 energy drink (15) before bc I was exhausted (I haven’t been to sleep all night), and I’m scared of gaining today if I eat my usual amount bc I haven’t been to sleep (idk the logic of that either really, I think my brain is trying to count it as adding onto yesterday’s c4ls lol).

It was supposed to be my fasting day today, but I got scared that the doctor was going to make me get a blood test (which he still might, but not today), and then it would show that I have barely any nutrients in my body. I haven’t eaten anyways, so either way, if he was gonna do one today I’d be fcked. But I’m gonna have a skinny bar or a fibre brownie or smth before I leave, just to hopefully keep me going for a little longer.

I’m also in work today, only on a 4 hour shift, which is both bad and good, bad for my money but good for my wellbeing lmfao.

Gonna take my rest day today since I haven’t slept, and I just know that going the doctors and THEN work straight after will drain the life out of me.

Idk how much I’ll eat today, I’m not feeling like eating much, but I will update you guys later on obviously with my daily rundown.

Im very scared, but I will be fine, everything will be done with soon, and I can relax and then just pure bash Minecraft when I come in lol.

If you made it this far, thank you, you’re very kind (:

Thank u all for being here.

[mohs-aphmau-hcs]

Stereotypical Emergency Gofundme Title

Hey guys, I hate doing this, especially after being inactive for so long but this is my most popular blog and I need help.

I'm 19, living paycheck to paycheck with some pets and my SDIT, I'm severely mentally disabled and trans, living in the US, and I'm currently in a housing emergency that could leave me homeless in the likely worst-case scenario

Im an incapacitated mentally disabled trans adult living in the USA with my cats and dogs, one of which is an SDIT, I am unable to do basic things alone like grocery shopping or doctor's appointments, I can barely keep myself and my animals going.

the people taking care of me had to drop everything and leave because a dangerous family member wouldn't stop harassing them. They're currently trying to help me find a cheap place, and then get me a DLS worker/Daily carer, but its a hard long process

In the process of getting out safely, they kind of left me here in a hazardous situation because their emergency place didn't have enough room for me. So, now I'm being harassed by this family member, and I have nowhere to live and no one to help me.

This family member is threatening to come in and gut the house before I'm gone so our dad can move in. An offer we did make to my dad, but this person is under the impression it was going to happen overnight. And is threatening to do so in 2 weeks whether I like it or not, on top of threatening to get rid of my animals. This person is for one dangerous and violent, and going against him could hurt me. At this point, him and this situation are a threat to my life and he has been directly threatening my life more than once. A fight between me and this person would also put more strain than there already is on my dad and mine relationship. I want to move out by next month to avoid this situation.

I need to find a house or lenient apartment for rent, that accepts animals and isn't discriminatory against low income, disability, government support, and LGBT+, but I can barely afford rent here let alone a down payment on top of rent and a moving truck by next month. On top of finding a place that accepts Section 8 or low income, and then even having to wait to see if I can get a Section 8 voucher, and feeling unsafe in my current home, it's been hard. This is my first time doing any of this.

If I could make maybe 1k USD or more that'd help so much with getting at least a basic place to stay in when I find one

No one is obligated to help, but every little bit helps at the moment, I wouldn't be making this post if I wasn't desperate. I don't need food, or necessities except maybe cat food, I have enough for right now I just need a roof over my head

If you're able to, anything helps, thank you for reading my little sob story, here's a link to my gofundme page to help me get a house. Thank you all again just for reading even if you don't donate anything, <3

Fundraiser by Sam Tamayo : Help me raise money for a home for me and dog (gofundme.com)

[chronicallyill-butterfly]

I hate being autistic and receiving no support. I have no idea what my support level/needs are because I have never received real support. I look “high functioning” but so much falls through the cracks 

I go to college and live in a single dorm because of my medical equipment. And it is so hard

I lose speech so frequently that 70%% of the time now, im unable to speak. when I can speak, it’s awkward and I can tell it isn’t ‘correct’ but I don’t know how to fix it. when I can’t speech, I also lose the ability to text/email/type. All communication gets lost.

I can’t do my dishes- it’s been four weeks at school and I’ve resorted to paper plates/plastic utensils for when I do eat. I am mostly tube fed and I struggle to set up my feeds daily. Im supposed to do it 3 times a day and on a good day, I’ll manage to do it twice. Half the time, I can’t remember to take my meds, and when I do, the task is sometimes so overwhelming I cant do it until night time instead of when I wake up, like I’m supposed to. 

I can’t do my laundry or take out the trash- my parents have to do it for me when they see me on the weekends. I can’t handle going to doctors appointments on my own or places that aren’t within a few blocks of my dorm. And even then, if it’s something that isn’t one of the three places im used to I Just Cant. So I don’t go anywhere except those places. 

I shut down so often and have had to leave class to try and prevent meltdowns. Any change in plans/routines just sends me over the edge. 

And there’s more- there’s so much more. Sensory issues and stupid routines/rituals I *have* to follow that don’t make sense to anyone else. 

I keep seeing people say if you live alone you’re automatically low support needs. But it doesn’t feel right. Idk what I am but I don’t relate to the low support needs experiences my friends have or people online talk about. I just didn’t have a choice in living alone. 

Everything is falling through the cracks because of my autism- my hygiene, my self care, my general ability to function. But I show up for class most days so I’m “fine” 

[jcbbby]

dani, i'd like to make a request. As someone who also struggles with ED, can you make a gic where reader has an ED and is went through a recovery? I mean, some years ago i was really underweight, i went through a recovery but my anorexia is still in there. and sometimes is hard to look at the mirror and see how my body changed, is hard to see that i kinda have a tummy now, see that my panties squish a little bit on my waist, see how my thighs look bigger... also my ed gave me stomach problems, i feel so much pain sometimes and it is hard to eat. reading fanfics where my favs comfort me about my body is my favourite thing to do when im feeling bad about myself. can you write one where said scenario happens with reader? (jamie x reader)

oh, bby :( I feel for you, I relate so much. I think anyone who has struggled with an eating disorder knows that it never really does totally go away. you just sort of get better at not acting on those intrusive thoughts. but I do want to make sure you know how PROUD I am of you, because nothing is more badass than waking up every day and still choosing recovery, regardless of what that voice in your head is saying. I love you, I'm rooting for you, and keep kicking ass you beautiful being!! <3

I know this is a little short, but I hope this fic brings you comfort when you need it. <3

Warnings: vague description of an ED and talk of body dysmorphia.

-

It was a gorgeous evening as you and Jamie were out to dinner on the Italian Amalfi Coast; a much needed vacation for the both of you. Your food arrived and Jamie immediately dug into his meal. You, however, stared for a moment at the plate of pasta in front of you as you held your fork, thinking about the couple pieces of bread already in your stomach. Jamie looked up from his food, giving you a small, encouraging smile, but letting you decide to take your first bite on your own time, not wanting to put any stress on a typical dinner that should be just that: dinner. You returned his smile, slowly twisting some linguine around your fork and bringing it to your mouth.

You had had a complicated relationship with food, exercise, and your body for a while before you started dating Jamie. They began shortly after you started college, the constant stress and change of environment had you neglecting taking care of yourself. These habits never went away once you graduated, and you carried them with you even when you met Jamie. This could have easily been shrugged off and flown under the radar to most but being thrust into the public eye exacerbated it all. There was an insane added pressure now to always look good, and more daily stress that came with traveling, planning things around filming and travel, and your own career.

When Jamie started to notice how the light in your eyes started to fade, he begged you to seek help. He told you how much he loved you and how much you deserve to feel the love he has for you, for yourself. And he was right; you knew you deserved more than what you had been giving yourself. He was with you through everything after that; your therapy appointments, doctor appointments, your treatment program, your entire recovery. Always supporting you, listening to your feelings, never making you feel like a burden, and doing whatever he could to keep you moving forward.

“Oh my god, this is so good.” You closed your eyes as you chewed.

“Damn right it is.” He smiled, trying not to show just how overwhelmed with pride he was watching you enjoy yourself eating again, allowing yourself one of life’s most simple of pleasures.

Later that evening, as you returned to your hotel room, your mental high from conquering the carb-filled dinner began to fade. You felt so bloated and your stomach loudly gurgled as it struggled to digest your food, a side effect of the years of denying it enough, often making it hard to truly feel as though you were really doing the right thing. That ugly little voice in the back of your head always loved to tell you it was a mistake to have enjoyed yourself like that.

You got back to the room and flopped yourself on to the bed, curling up into a ball. You let out a quiet groan as your stomach grumbled loudly.

“Are you okay, love?” Jamie asked, getting on to the bed with you, placing a hand on your back.

“My tummy hurts.” You whined. “I shouldn’t have eaten that…” You mumbled into the comforter.

Jamie tutted. “Oh, darling… But it was delicious right?” He sat next to you.

“Yeah…it really was. But I’m so bloated now.”

“Oh yeah? Check me out.” Jamie chuckled, standing up.

You peaked an eye open at him to see he had pulled his shirt up to his chest, pushing out his also bloated belly, cradling it like a pregnant woman. You giggled as you sat up a little bit, frowning quickly again as the adjustment hurt your stomach.

“Why don’t we get you out of that dress and into something comfier, hm?” Jamie lowered his shirt.

You nodded, getting up to let Jamie help take off your form fitting dress, twisting yourself and sucking in as much as you could to hide your distended belly. He grabbed one of his shirts that he wore yesterday, that lay draped over the chair in the corner and handed it to you. You slid it over your head, letting it fall to just above your mid-thigh. You smiled to yourself as it smelled like him. You climbed under the covers of the bed, wincing as your stomach gurgled loudly again.

“Here, take these.” Jamie held out a few Tums to you. “Do you want me to go make you some tea, too?” He asked as you took the tablets from him, popping them in your mouth.

You nodded with a slight smile, which he returned as he made his way toward the kitchenette across the room to put the kettle on. After he had prepared two mugs of tea, he came over to hand you yours. He went around to the other side of the bed, setting his mug down on the nightstand. He climbed into the bed with you, snuggling up close. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your tummy through the blankets.

“That should help.” He smiled.

You cuddled together as you sipped your tea, him caressing your back, settling in for the night as your stomach finally began to settle as well.

-the next day-

Jamie and you were going to head down to the beach this sunny, breezy morning. You sipped some coffee as you stood in your bikini in front of the large window that overlooked the water not too far in the distance. Jamie was prepping a bag of snacks and drinks to take down to the beach with you.

“Hey, baby, look at me.” You heard him say behind you.

You turned to see him holding up his phone, about to take a picture of you with the stunning backdrop of seaside Italy outside the window. You immediately frowned, subconsciously moving your arms to cover your exposed body.

“Oh, no…babe, please don’t.”

He lowered his phone, tilting his head. “Why not? You look so beautiful right now.”

You turned to the mirror that was on the wall to the right of you, pinching at your hips and thigh. You shrugged. “I guess I just…feel puffy. I wish I brought a bathing suit that covered more…” You sighed.

“My love…” Jamie walked up to you, wrapping his arms around you from behind. “I think you look so incredible right now.” He placed a kiss just below your ear.

You looked at him in the mirror, and then down at your reflection. “My bikini bottoms are cutting into my hips and my ass cheeks. I feel like it’s too tight.” You frowned, bringing your hands to your stomach. “And I still feel a little bloated.”

Jamie turned you around, now looking at you face to face, taking your hands in his. “Hey, remember what we talked about. It’s okay to feel that way. But you know it’s just that mean little voice trying to trick you. Right? And what did we decide to tell that voice whenever it got too loud?”

“…to shut the fuck up, you miserable ass bitch, because it’s just jealous of how awesome and beautiful I really I am.” You rolled your eyes while giggling.

“That’s right!” He pulled you into a hug, kissing your cheek over and over as you continued giggling. “And I, for one…” He pulled back from you, now dropping to his knees in front of you. “Love your beautiful, amazing tummy…” He placed several kisses to your stomach. “Your beautiful, amazing hips…” He kissed each hip. “Your beautiful, amazing thighs…” He kissed over your thighs.

You smiled down at him as he peppered your body in admiration and acceptance, in total, unconditional love. He stood up to then meet your lips. You pulled away from his mouth, bringing your arms around him in a hug.

“I love you, baby. Thank you.” You smiled against his chest.

“I love you, darling. All of you.” He pulled you tighter.

[spaceoperajay]

trying to get my shit together. outside of the Unwells i have been doing well. the dr said high triglycerides & to eat less takeout & frozen meals. so im making an effort on cooking all meals this week. not that i think i will do that every week forever but an exercise to do it more often.

also need to get back at working out. i was doing so well! four days out out of five a week! like i didnt last week cause i was not feeling it and hey i was moving boxes all weekend for my partner so that counts. also i have been drawing (its ugly so no you cant see it) but i dont think ive written in like 6 months 😭

so my daily goals:

-homecooked breakfast & dinner for my partner and i

-work out in morning or if not go for walk in evening

-do art/writing/something creative/staring at screen until my eyes bleed for an hour at least

also tomorrow i have to make several calls. mostly making more doctor appointments:

-lawyer

-pysch

-immunologist

-gynocologist

-uhhhh weed doctor too im sure i can qualify for a weed card easily

anyway off to go meal preppppppp

[crippleprophet]

so im going to the doctor in 2 days (i go on the 30th and im writing this on the 28th) and im physically disabled, and this is the first time ive gone to the doctor since late 2019 when i caught covid, and the doctor im going to is our old pcp's son, and our old pcp constantly brushed my dad off and i have all the same stuff as him and m o r e, so i need advice on how to not get brushed off since im 14 and my dads side has a past of drug seeking and shit. ive already made a list of all my symptoms but other than that i straight up dont know what to do

oh, god, i’m so sorry. my medical neglect journey started at 16 (aside from psychiatrization starting at 14) & i had no language for what i was going through so this ask really makes my heart ache, for you & my past self. on the one hand, you knowing to expect & prepare for this kind of shit puts you leagues ahead of where i was at your age; on the other, no amount of understanding the systemic ableism behind your pcp’s behavior will erase the pain & trauma of not being believed.

here’s some general appointment prep i do + other advice, as always with the caveat that i am Just Some Guy on the internet & you know your circumstances best:

think about the narrative you want to craft. i’ve got a primer on how to lie to doctors if that’s the route you want to take. try to group things by category (autoimmune symptoms together, neurological symptoms at a separate point in the conversation, etc) without saying that that’s what you’re doing to like set up the paint by numbers for him & hope he picks up the brush.

in that vein, lead with the symptom you want to prioritize. doctors are trained to build a diagnosis around the “chief complaint,” so burying the lede—or even listing it second—is more likely to get those symptoms ignored.

in addition to listing symptoms themselves: when they started, frequency/duration, intensity, how it impacts your daily life. framing things through the lens of “i want to be a good little normative student but X keeps making it difficult to do Y” usually goes over better.

if a supportive adult will be with you, talk to them about what you’re going to say & at what point you’d theoretically want them to intervene / push back against the doctor’s response, & how so.

determine your goals for the appointment. do you want a referral to a particular specialist? certain testing to be done? a prescription for a particular medication? the more you’ve thought about what you want out of it, the easier it is to advocate for that outcome.

ask leading questions, invoke other authorities, & act like you don’t know shit. for example, if i was trying to get bloodwork of an ANA panel from my rheumatologist, i’d be like, “my pcp was really concerned about this face rash that i’ve been having along with my joint pain, he said there’s some sort of blood test to check if it’s, like, lupus or something?”

do your research, but never ever mention that you have. if you’ll have an adult with you & this would be a safe conversation to have / they’d listen to you, it’s worth mentioning to them that a lot of doctors get dismissive when patients mention having googled symptoms.

this post on finding + navigating specialists might be relevant, especially if you want to get a referral or try to find a new pcp (obv decisions affected by insurance or lack thereof, whether your parents are supportive, etc)

i’ve also got this post about coping with medical neglect & trauma if you want to plan for / set up any of those coping mechanisms in advance.

i really want you to know that no matter how your appointment goes, your disabilities & symptoms are real, & you deserve quality, compassionate, comprehensive healthcare. unfortunately, under an ableist healthcare system it’s impossible to earn our way out of medical neglect—fucking tragically, doing everything “right” at an appointment doesn’t mean we’ll get taken seriously—& equally, folks who don’t know or bother to play this bullshit game are still just as deserving of care & shouldn’t be victim-blamed for neglect they’ve experienced.

i hope some of this is helpful! feel free to send a follow-up ask if there’s any other info or support i can provide. i’ll be thinking about you on the 30th & hope things go as well as possible 💓💓

[weezeryuri]

i dont have much experience w emotional stuff i wish i could physically help you. if i had a good job and my own place i would literally fly out and pick you up and take you with me and we could be weird gay roommates im being 100% genuine. there are a lot of physical therapy exercises that can be done from bed, i could explain my own routine if you want (i found it overwhelming when i just looked up vague terms) (but i dont remember most of the exercise names so ive just got weird descriptions sorry </3). i wish i could take you out to the mall to sit on a bench for extended periods of time and look around at stuff and buy snacks from the grocery store for lunch instead of going to a restaurant bc its cheaper.

ive seen a couple other ppl say "i totally relate" w a major misunderstanding of your actual situation so idk i dont want to feel like Another random anon who doesnt Actually get it. but like for example ive never seen anyone other than you understand that long distance relationships and internet friendships dont rlly make up for the genuine isolation of being mostly housebound and agoraphobic. you make me feel like im not alone.

i hope you feel better in the morning. i love you i love you i love you

anon i am clasping our hands together so sincerely and lovingly and hugging you so tight it knocks the breath out of you a little. this is one of the sweetest messages i’ve ever gotten and i am so grateful to hear such a kind thing

don’t worry about the exercise stuff i’m already doing everything i can do with daily stretches and stuff it just hasn’t done much to reassure me. i’m also seeing a doctor but the progress is so slow and my next appointment isn’t until after my birthday and it has me pulling my hair out

lately i’ve been thinking about taking the money i got from my dad’s life insurance when he passed away and somehow put it towards funding a way out but lack of adult skills and experience has me clueless on where to even start with it all

you are always welcome to message me off anon and maybe we can maybe talk a plan out or even just chat for the sake of hanging out w someone you can relate to. im more than happy to keep each other company especially if you relate to me as much as you say

i love you dearly as well and again i am so grateful to hear something so kind. i hope things get better someway somehow <3

[wri0thesley]

blinks my weary little eyes…hello nat my dearly beloved i hope your doctor appointment went well and that you have a good day/night!!! i haven’t really been able to keep up with genshin lately due to the holidays but i an free!! i plan to be in my little bed and play the day away! also im not sure who it is who mentioned it but i hc that when al haitham is flustered due to his vision he gets those dendro construct shards around his head - you smile at him or kiss his check and poof! this shining, bright lights shimmer around his head….he would kinda look like the sim characters wouldn’t he?

ahh hello lamb i hope things are treating you well!!! <3 i alas have to go to more doctor's appointments, but it went as well as it could be! ;w; i hope you managed to get Playing Done! i go through phases where it is all i have the Energy to do and phases where doing my daily commissions is too much, but things have been reasonably Normal for me recently!

and YES. i love when characters who are very good at keeping themselves calm have something that gives them away when they get flustered, especially if it is something they have absolutely no control over! <3