#bit of a rant i guess

[donghyuckkies]

i signed up for a trans video game night event but decided not to go cuz 1. there's no age group mentioned so there's a good chance i would've been the only one there over 30 lol no thanks 2. turns out i'd rather stay home and play video games like they do realize that demographic is the least likely to leave the house and socialize lmao and 3. i work nights and sleep during the day so my willingness to leave the house this early into my day is very low to begin with ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[wyvolf]

It really isn't the year for the SCP community huh.

F confinement. Hope Bung/Dani can get the help she clearly needs, I 100% blame Orion for this bullshit. Dumb cunt was turning Confinement into his weird fanfiction

[gr4v3y4rd]

I have nothing to motivate me. I dont sepnd enough time out in nature feeling whimsical. Everything in life feels so dull. I feel so much more motivated to care for myself when im able to take the time to be outside in natural environments. I have no irl friends to hang out with right now. Im trying to make friends with my bfs friends because i know that i can talk to them about shared interests like dnd and warhammer40k and one of his friends hosts a radio show for the college. So i know i dont have to try super hard to find topics to talk about. Thats the hardest part of making new friends for me is an adult... i have to find out what their interest are and if we're even compatible. And i just dont really have the energy for that right now. The only other option i have for making friends is the college club i joined for gender and sexuality. I love having a safe space to do activities with my fellow queers but i dont necessarily want to make friends with them especially since im hyperfixating on dnd and warhammer rn and i dont think many of them are into that sort of thing... i thought about maybe going and joining the DJ friend tonight while he hosts the radio show as he said im welcome to join him anytime.. it just feel weird because i just saw him yesterday for dnd and i dont want to seem too eager to hang out. I just dont know how to properly socialize as an adult and its not like im im college taking classes where i see these people everyday. The most social interaction i get is the dnd sessions we have once a week. I just feel weird wanting to hang out with my bfs friends more than he hangs out with them but its because he's busy with schoolwork and im not. Maybe i feel insecure about not having anything to do during my free time, but right now i really want to spend my free time building a good support system and gaining trust worthy friends. Ive had my trust severely broken by so called "friends" over the past few years. I dont know if im trying to convince myself that im worthy of having friends or if i just rely too heavily on the people around me. But im not even sure if thats a bad thing to want? Like so many people these days think its not okay to rely on the people around you but to me thats what makes a society? Ive felt abandoned by those around me so much that ive begun to abandon myself. I cant get myself to do anything anymore i have to have breakfast brought to me or i wont eat i have to have help getting lunch or dinner or i wont eat that either most days. I cant get myself to clean up after myself anymore because i just dont have the energy for it. Sure I'll have coffee or tea to wake me up but i have absolutely no motivation to do anything. I want things clean and organized but i cant be bothered to do it myself. And the main thing that helps me regulate that and be able to help myself is honestly being able to socialize and go outside and interact with things outside of myself. And im just not getting enough of that. I feel like a goldfish who's been left in a tank with nothing but a skull to hide in. At this point im just waiting for somwthing to trigger me into fight or flight so that i get up and do something about my situation. It hurts.

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Sometimes a day makes you want a Starscream to bite and squeeze

[stimpry]

mad scientist eridan au doodles + sprite edit i gotta write all my ideas down for this or something maybe make a fic abou tit who knows i just really really like this au i made check the tags for my ranting about it

[bloodyfries]

Adding the fact that Shen Yuan was a rich kid plus the fact that he thinks that running a peak, teaching disciples and going on missions is just lazing around then I wouldn't be surprised if he did some find of sport

Ok, here me out, a lot of rich kids tend to do a whole bunch of extra circulars (trust me, I went to a school filled with trust fund kids) and Shen Yuan considers himself lazy despite very clearly doing a lot. So, he probably got that notion because in his first life he had a jammed pack schedule and uses that as a comparison.

So with this in mind he probably has a bunch of skills, one of those being some form of sport.

Anyway, flash forward to some time post cannon and a wife plot happens. In the original PIDW it was a excuse for a sport episode (or character(s) in this case) with future wives and current wives to wear short clothes and run around. It's probably written because it a fan favorite trope in media and will mist likely bring in a bigger audience (SY can be heard cursing airplane for unoriginalty, contradictions and historical inaccuracy). We'll just say that some kingdom/demon royal family decided instead of violence (because who could ever beat Bingge in a fight?) to use a sports tournament as a way to decide who get to rule.

Well, when this happens in svsss Shen Qingqiu ends up roped into this (ahh, the curse to be a love interest) and just absolutely destroys everyone at off brand tennis (and/or other rich people sports). Luo Binghe would also be destroying people at literally any of the games but he's too busy trying to not lose it over SQQ's (previously stated) short clothing, pulled tightly up hair and skill

[vi-as-in-violet]

i think the main feeling i have about this season so far is that i crave to see MORE, but not in a good way. i love the themes this season is working with, i love the conflicts, i love the characters but it feels like i don't see enough of the story playing out and it leaves me feeling like something is missing.

I wanted to SEE and experience the underground resistance growing, i wanted to actually see how Jinx became a symbol and how that united the underground. I wanted to see the process of it and how it affected her! I feel like the writers really should've gone with the traditional show-don't-tell rule here instead of just showing us the aftermath which left me with exactly zero emotions about such crazy impressive and important events. The entire Underground got united (!!!!) but we saw zero of the unification process and got like two scenes before they were all arrested, released and then the entire revolution idea was completely forgotten and not addressed once in the rest of the act (as far as I recall).

Jinx was clearly struggling with the newfound worship, so much so she went into HIDING. how must've she felt knowing that so many people find hope in her when she sees herself as a literal jinx? how did she deal with becoming people's hope instead of their curse? I wanted to see her work through this so bad since that is what Arcane has always been good at, it's what season one did so well - it walked you through the emotions and motives and therefore, the conclusion to personal plot lines felt SATISFYING and left massive impression. this was completely missing for me this act for most plot lines

Same goes for pitfighter!Vi and her descent into self-destructive hell. We don't get to see the emotional fall out of her being fucking punched and left lying on the ground by the only person she thought she had left - we just got a montage showing the aftermath of her spiraling. which is cool but it left me with feeling pretty much nothing about it all because seeing the conclusion to her struggling without the build-up just fell flat for me. i was looking forward this specific internal conflict of the protector archetype with nothing left to protect and therefore completely losing themselves before finding their purpose again SO much and it ended up being completely brushed over. i wanted to be able to pick Vi's thoughts apart when she was at her lowest point in life since her time in the jail and see how her behaviour and relationship with people/alcohol/violence changes in the process. like later in act 2 when she punches Isha, she doesn't even react (holy shit?). that is SO far from the Vi we saw in act 1 of this season and it feels super out of character because we did not actually get to SEE her behaviour and priorities changing - we can obviously figure out the reason and understand why she ended up this way but since we weren't actually shown how it happened, it still initially felt like it came out of nowhere and majorly ooc for the character we've known so far

and don't even let me start with Cait and her dictator arc. I was getting ready for the emotional fall out and internal conflict and the political powerplay with Embessa but we got SO LITTLE of it. i could go on and on about this but i feel like a lot of people might agree her dictator arc was pretty underdeveloped so I am not going to discuss it further (plus the immediate switch when she met Vi again was just ??? because we can't really see how she feels about this entire thing with the exception of her thinking Embessa is too brutal and that it seems to be weighting on her. PLUS she has at least a situationship with that sunshine enforcer and even tho she is clearly mentally elsewhere, we have no reason to think she is still pinning after Vi?).

I'm not even going to address Jayce because What.

On a positive note, I think Victor's arc has been handled pretty damn well. But aside from that, this season just leaves me craving more and it is quite clear to me the writers absolutely did not have enough time (nine episodes is not a lot) to develop the story they wanted to portray in full.

Now, I watched the latest three episodes while on a plane and since the act is so plot heavy, i might have totally missed or misunderstood something, lemme know if that is the case

i am super interested in how's everyone feeling about this so feel free to add your thoughts!!!

[leconcombrerit]

This thing had been rotting in my files for a year (minus three weeks but that's basically a year). It was a redraw of one of my first ever pieces for this fandom, and I still find it quite okay if a little stiff in places, so I thought I might as well share it since I don't draw that much anymore.

And then I had second thoughts, which obviously led to me posting it anyway, as you can see, but I realized I've almost made it a point not to draw anything related to Sasi anymore. As in at all. I can't, and I don't want to, and even sharing old art feels a bit 'meh'. It's too directly linked to my long going art block.

What I mean by that is that if I took all the followers I have out there and asked them what they know me or initially followed me for, you might have a fair amount of Lis 2 and the occasional Desert Bluffs afficionados, but you'd get an overwhelming majority of Sanders Sides. Sanders Sides fashion posts even. I was by no means famous for it or anything, but at my small artist scale, it was the biggest success I had.

And it makes it much harder to go back to it at all now. One, because I don't give a damn about the show anymore. Two, because I haven't been properly obsessing over anything in a while (there was a series early this year but given the actual emotional distress I get thinking about it I'm ruling it out). I haven't had real engagement from my own brain, nor real engagement from a broad audience -which makes sense, I'm not posting for anything that will reach a broad audience. But it takes its toll regardless.

Even when I finally finished writing a long fic, I couldn't help but feel 'all this for what ? Ten people or so and two hundreds have dropped it ?'. Which is a bad way to think about stuff you write for your own enjoyment but, you know, the brain gets happy with external validation even if you pretend really hard you don't care.

And so it feels tempting to go back to the golden goose just the time to get the creative juice pumping back, and I try, and I always end up frustrated and angry and feeling even less like making art that before. I'm not having fun with Sasi. Like an old friend you have nothing to say to and yet you have so much to say otherwise, so you get a bit frustrated, you know ? Not sure I'm making much sense, but that's how it feels. I want to have something like that again, but it won't be with Sanders Sides, and I somehow just want if off my radar.

It was left hanging, then lost its spark, and then I stopped caring altogether and I most likely won't even watch the finale when it does come out. I'm over it. I wish I wasn't though, because it does feel like the artistic spark won't come back all on its own this time, and the buzzing community made it so much easier to bounce back and do shit when your brain got wired all wrong.

It sounds like I'm just bawling after love and likes and stuff, and I guess that's part of it, in a way ? Like I'm in no place to do things for myself, and seeing the one thing I used to use to get back in the flow giving me a bored sense of dread doesn't feel too great.

Yet this drawing is still good ! I find it good ! I don't remember everything, but I can tell from the looks of it that I spent a while on it ! It's nice ! I should celebrate that. So I'm sharing it. I think it will be the last piece of Sasi I ever share, though. I'm not watching the finale when it comes out. I don't care about it. I'll just keep doodling my OCs and characters from cool books every once in a while. I'll write little things.

I just really, really need to stop trying to go back to it when it's clearly not working and not even for good reasons. It was a fun ride though ! So yeah. Basically. A whole ass rant for a one year old piece of art. I'm in my bi-annual depresso mood, nothing too surprising there.

[lazy-sixteen]

'Unconditional Love' - Jayce's feelings towards his partner

Thinking today about what made Jayce' and Viktor's relationship so extreme, Romantic, so oh-shit these two nearly ended the world with their Divorce Arc, and from Jayce's end I would say it is that he took the concept of "Unconditional Love" and really cranked it to the high-setting then welded the dial there.

Let's start at the end.

ii. Love

Jayce loves Viktor. No one (at least in these more enlightened days of post-Season 2) is arguing this. He's drawing the guy in his diary/research journal, he's loudly proclaiming Viktor the co-inventor of his life's work, he's throwing a city founder and respected mentor off the Council, and simultaneously making both Orpheus and Dr. Frankenstein look like pussies with his resurrection antics. There is so much great meta and analysis that points out how much he loves Viktor, and the more details you examine in the show the more evidence you find.

I think the only point I'd like to add here, is that is really is genuinely love motivating him. He's not obsessed with his imagined idea of a perfect partner nor dependent on Viktor as the more confident half of their partnership, it's all love.

The obvious example of not just wanting a 'perfect' or easy version of Viktor is Jayce's speech about always respecting/admiring him with his imperfections their mind meld at end, but I think the bridge scene also counts. While they do argue about it, Jayce never wants to change who Viktor is. When they fight at the bridge about Zaun, Jayce apologizes for saying something classist/insensitive immediately instead of trying some bullshit 'well, you aren't like the rest of them'. He's not perfect about it, but he'd chose to learn and grow as a person over trying to erase where Viktor came from because he loves his partner as a whole person, not just the parts that are easy for him to understand/love.

Additionally, when Viktor leaves him (after Jayce basically vomits up his heart on a rambling silver platter, lol), Jayce is so obviously emotionally devastated - but he does respect Viktor's decision and is able to continue functioning. For the first point, Jayce doesn't try to physically stop Viktor from leaving or follow him after Viktor makes clear he wants space. Afterwards, while Jayce is obviously an emotional wreck (sleeping in the lab), the second Heimmerdinger and Ekko turn up he's able to pull himself together enough to Problem Solve and muster the emotional energy to genuinely care that the Hexgates might be polluting a community in Zaun. Jayce is definitely a wreck after Viktor leaves, but he respects Viktor's decision about leaving and is able to function independently.

( Of course of note, Jayce didn't respect his promise to destroy the Hexcore - so you could say that the respecting Viktor's decision to leave now is either a case of Jayce trying to learn his lesson and grow in regards to respecting his partner's choices, or a you could say the situation wasn't equivalent since Viktor asked him to promise something that would lead to his partner's death while Viktor was obviously very emotionally compromised after Skye's death and Jayce had just stopped him from committing suicide - i.e., Jayce didn't honor that promise bc to him, it appeared to be an extension of Viktor's suicidal intention.)

Anyway, the point is, it is about Love for Viktor as he is, not just that he's important to Jayce's success or caring about the easy parts like his intelligence. Jayce just totally and completely just loves his partner. Onto...

i. Unconditional

And, here's where Jayce gets absolutely freakishly, unhealthy do-not-try-this-at-home with it, there is absolutely nothing Viktor can do to himself, to other people, or to Jayce that will make Jayce love him any less. It is beyond 'would you love me if I was a worm' and hits 'would you love me if I killed everyone you loved, desecrated their corpses, then killed you?"

(Jayce, said 'Yes, obviously. Also if you did that more than once and let me be tortured for several months. Anything for you, baby.")

On the first point (nothing Viktor can do to himself) in Season 1, it was remarked upon by Singed that Viktor using very illegal drugs and trying to alter his body with an unstable dangerous magical artifact might freak Jayce out/make him leave. Viktor verbally disagrees with this sentiment, but he also hides what is doing from Jayce. While some of that could be to protect Jayce if his experimentation gets discovered (see, very illegal drugs obtained from exiled mad chemist who worked/works for a drug lord), part of it is likely intended to represent hesitancy or fear that Jayce might be disgusted at what Viktor is doing.

Contrary to Viktor's/Singed's predictions, Jayce simply does not seem to care. We never seem him react specifically to the metal arm/leg, but given that he used Viktor's research notes (Which would include fun, savory details like 'carving runes into his flesh' and 'injecting Shimmer') to resurrect him into a completely purple, metal, magic immortal creature and then reacted to Viktor's horrified "What am I?" with a adoring, love-sick "You are alive." complete with half-naked hug and nuzzling - we can safely assume he would not have loved Viktor any less for the purple-metal arm+leg.

This continues on, Jayce is fully willing to kneel/try the power of love confession at the fully metal and horrifying split-face looking Machine Herald. In fact, I think his speech at end works so well because it is given to someone metal and removed from humanity - he loves and respects Viktor both as he was with his disabilities and on the other end, as someone who had removed every weakness from his body to the point of becoming closer to a machine-god than a human.

Okay at this point, we can say that Jayce's affection is still sweet (and parts of it are good, touching, and healthy - if you love someone you Should be willing to grow as a person and try to correct your biases, you Should accept their disabilities and care for them as part of what makes up your loved one's life), but moving us closer to off the rails - there also doesn't seem to be anything that Viktor can do morally / do to other people/ do to Jayce himself that matters either.

This is best shown in the Hell Dimension - Jayce spends several months in a Saw Trap slowly going insane, in severe pain and desperate loneliness (seriously that level of 'no human contact' is enough to qualify as torture on its on). He see the world absolutely ruined, everyone either dead or transformed into creepy porcelain dolls (dead and having their corpses corrupted/puppeted/used). He climbs to the top of the former Hexgate, corrupted into a monument to his failures, sees his future corpse kneeling in defeat, and looming over it the Mage, who saved him as a child but also set him on the path to magic, made him in integral piece of the mechanism the ended the world, and is furious!! He's angry and accusing, and looks like he's about to start screaming or trying to fight!!

Until the mage, pulls back his hood and reveals he's older Viktor - then, oops never mind, Jayce instantly is no longer mad - just amazed and happy. To me at least, it is parallel to Viktor waking up transformed out of the magic goo and Jayce instantly hugging and exclaiming happily he's alive! Jayce meets Viktor's eyes over his own corpse in the middle of a world-wide graveyard, and instantly his mood switches from fury to joyful recognition. The next scene we see (chronologically, not story-wise) is him willingly kneeling and Old Mage's Viktor's feet like a warrior being knighted, taking the hammer from his own corpse, and promising to save younger Viktor.

(And to me at least, that is implicitly Jayce's and Old Mage Viktor's priority here based on how they phrase it, - not to save the world from Viktor, but to save Viktor from having to suffer the loneliness and guilt of ending the world).

Like holy shit, Jayce not only loves Viktor so, so much, this is an 'in all times lines, and all possibilities' he loves him. He loves Viktor so much it is a universal constant - with no limitations or boundaries (including such healthy ones as, maybe I should take a step back from a relationship I know is 99% likely to kill me).

AND, and!! This makes me especially insane - this is not a problem Jayce has in his other relationships. He is perfectly capable of loving and caring for other people while still maintaining boundaries, or pulling away from relationships that hurt him. This is 100% a Viktor-only thing.

We see Jayce pull-away and stop confiding in his mother after she hurts him by declaring him insane in front of the counsel (we never see them really talk one-on-one after that scene in his bedroom). He break-ups with Mel in the Counsel Room over both her using Jayce as an investment/puppet ruler (which she was, part of Mel's character arc is learning that conquering through manipulation/politics is still conquering) and his own survivor's guilt that she saved them and not the rest of the Counsel (not her fault, she did in instinctively with a power she didn't know she had). And he maintains that distance, he's comforts her a bit later when she reaches out about feeling used, but generally remains physically and emotionally closed off.

(Sidenote rant about how I actually really love Mel and Jayce's tragic, doomed bi4bi romance cut for time)

Like Jayce has limits, he can love people genuinely but pull away when he feels they are hurting him or he's hurt by what they've done. Just, only for other people.

In conclusion, Jayce loves Viktor unconditionally, in all timelines and all possibilities: whether he's his human and dying lab partner or an eldritch magic-machine god, whether he's saving Jayce life or killing him - that love is truly unconditional

[zeynyukine3011]

Scrolling in the Ra's al Ghul tag is a jumpscare that you were expecting but still got jumpscared.

The amount of Tim related things I see.... I want to see just Ra's, Talia, Damian,Bruce and other Al Ghul members. I'm so sick of seeing "Ra's al Ghul cherishes Tim's spleen 🤗 and he wants Tim's babies 🤪 Tim knows everything about Ra's al Ghul and the League of Assassins 🥴"

Can Tim stans leave Ra's alone??? Let the man be the family guy he is. Let him love and care his daughter, son and grandson. Let him care for animals, plants, the whole planet! Stop making everything related to Ra's about Tim. Stop making him a creepy pedo.

[prettybbychim]

[this became much longer than i intended whoops]

u know i think it would’ve been much better if the ode of resurrection was not shown to us immediately, and wasn’t a main part of their culture. have people die throughout the archon quest, make us believe that there’s no saving them. kill off kachina at the start and convince us that she’s the first playable character in genshin thats not alive.

build up these bonds, forge these friendships, make us care.

just to take it all away

that’s war.

but there’s a tiny flame, that glimmer of hope. maybe it’s something the pyro archons have been working on, passing it down to their successors. something mavuika has been working on. yeah u heard that right she’s actually doing something wow get citlali in there to help out. get the whole goddamn tribe involved idc

there’s a scramble to find the last of the heroes. they don’t want to force it or fuck something up but they’re running out of time. the abyss is coming. it will consume the nation. they need to fucking buckle up and get down to it.

they could probably still go into the night kingdom to search for kachina, so that mualani can get her ancient name. or it can occur under entirely different circumstances. haven’t given that much thought yet. do they find her?

do they find her and can’t actually bring her back to the surface?

for the next part, we’re gonna have to shake things up because we need the captain on our team sooner rather than later. how that happens is up in the air but regardless, we put aside our differences to save natlan.

so, we help the captain find old dragon tech. maybe we enlist the help of kinich and ajaw, maybe we go into ochkanatlan, tie some of that shit in. we can take iansan along too, who is super duper strong and can carry all our fancy dragon tech or smth idk the three of them need more involvement !!! ajaw would drive me up the wall but it’s a necessary evil

in ochkanatlan, we see how the abyss can mimic lifeforms. the twin is in irminsul right? maybe it’s steals the twin’s image, but the traveler knows it’s not them because their twin would never say things like this. we learn that they abyss manifestations are (always?) twisted and mutilated.

we see the dragon. we don’t defeat it, that’s for the world quest lol but we get the image of the dragon in our minds so that when it shows up later down the line, we know what the fuck is happening lol

on our trip, we learn bits and pieces about the captain. it’s all disconnected, nothing makes sense. and since we’re nosey little fuckers, we find correspondence with the tsaritsa in his belongings.

capitano is gentle with his body. maybe a little too gentle. it catches the traveler’s eye but they don’t know what it means, they have no grounds for suspicion. it’s blown off as recovering from his duel with mavuika. (little do we know that he was hit directly in the heart and he’s worried, goddamnit)

ororon lets it slip that something feels off with the captain’s soul. (could the captain be using ororon’s sensitivities to monitor the souls housed inside him? would he eventually tell ororon what’s going on? or would that be too risky?)

ororon receives ancient name same as before, nothing really needs to change there i suppose. more suspicion is thrown on the captain because of the identity of the soul trying to possess ororon. maybe the captain didn’t share his plan in its entirety, he has a lot riding on this, he can’t afford to fuck it up, and keeps his cards close to his chest. he and mavuika can still argue in front of ororon like mom and dad lol

chuychu dies. she doesn’t get to give a long goodbye. she bleeds out in her sister’s arms. (they actually try to stop the bleeding and give her medical care) chasca goes berserk hell yeah, there’s a struggle. she manages to rein herself in, the love between sisters reigns supreme. chasca gets her ancient name

boom u got all ur heroes. they supercharge mavuika to beat back the abyss core thing. what was its name? gilgamesh? i don’t fucking know

the losses are extreme

fast forward a bit bc i’m losing steam and attention span here

we dive back into the night kingdom to track down the “brain” of the abyss corruption. the people we’ve met and lost in natlan help us out. kachina can be added to the mix. the gay lovers, chuychu and her pokémon team, boba and coconut — the whole gang’s here yooo i actually loved this part. favorite section by far

and after our trip in ochkanatlan, we know that the dragon we’re fighting is an abyssal manifestation. the voices of the previous pyro archons are their own but the words are all wrong, designed to discourage and distress us.

we defeat it using the power of friendship (i’m gonna kms)

also mavuika’s kit is completely different. i’m giving her a redesign fuck it. but that’s a post for another time.

traveler seems pretty good ngl i just wish the cons aren’t limited to fighting the dragon. i really liked what i was seeing and then they pooped all over my party (what’s the point!!!)

instead of a big parade, we gather around together at the stadium to finally try the thing all the pyro archons have been cooking. the heroes are a necessary component.

the incandescent ode of resurrection

among the many, kachina comes out of the flames. mualani sobs her heart out and vows to never let her out of her sight ever again

chuychu perhaps? 👀 pls pls she’s the only one besides cap and ororon that i give a shit about pllssssss playable chuychu when? her design is fantastic as is u dont need to touch it PLEASE—

now we can have a party!! after everything is all said and done, we can have One party instead of the five or so we’ve had since we came to natlan. (nation of war? more like nation of fiestas)

ororon, though, feels uneasy, and not because of the atmosphere. he says he’s going to find the captain, but he can’t explain why. concerned, the traveler and paimon try to follow him but are intercepted by citlali, who is for once not freaking out about ororon’s whereabouts, instead…

oh but wait. where’s mavuika gone? oh nooo

plays out relatively the same i suppose. could use some tweaking but not anything significant enough to mention right now.

except now we have somewhat of an understanding of the captain already, all the little bits and pieces we noticed, and the clues we (so rudely) discovered, it’s all starting to make sense now. we’ve also spent more time w him, the emotional attachment runs deeper, and it’s much more painful to experience.

bittersweet

mavuika is confused, especially in the days coming after. she had planned to die then. she said her goodbyes in a roundabout way. she finished the painting of her family, so they’ll never be forgotten. she saved her nation from the oppression of the abyss, resurrected so, so many. there was only one thing left to do… she was supposed to be the one to do it.

what does she do now?

what does she do with herself now, when she hadn’t planned for her own future? it was supposed to end, she was supposed to die. could she have reunited with her family? could she have seen them once again? she’s sad over what could have been, she’s confused because how did it end up like this, she’s mad because the captain stole it from her, she’s guilty because he was ultimately the better choice

what do you do when you’ve spent hundreds of years waiting for your destined day? when you’re only ambition has been this.

it’s time to learn how to live.

the end~

[devildarlindumbass]

DOODLE + RANTINGG

I saw a really cool looking bendy rp/hangout game with exact models and polished animations ON ROBLOX and it looks SO COOLLL but the majority of my online friends aren't into batim? So I ain't got no one to play it with and I do not have the balls to go solo into an rp game <\3

I think it's only really since I started this blog did I start building a little community in the bendy fandom but I still need to stop being so socially anxious and actually talk to people and keep up with mutuals to make friends

I've questioned making a kin or even just general fan server but I already KNOW I wouldn't end up using it because of how awkward I am when It comes to joining let alone starting a conversation

stuck in 'i love this community and want to interact with it more' but 'ohhhhmy god everyone hates me fr'

[celtrist]

I just vented out a whole rant about how aromantisim is treated within Hazbin/helluva. I'm not really sure if I should post it for multiple reasons, one of which being I don't want anyone to feel targeted about it or take it the wrong way (like I honestly dont have beef with Al shippers. Gripes, but no beef as I also ship him on occasion).

There was just a sudden burst of frustration I had with it that I think was in part just came from built up frustration from other things. There's things I'd like to have out there, but I don't really think it'd get far or, again, be just taken the wrong way. I don't see a point in posting if people are gonna ignore it, plus it wouldn't change how things are now. If anyone has any thoughts or are curious let me know, but I don't wanna make anyone feel like shit or put a pointless rant out there no one wanted to see. I also wanna keep rants to a minimum as I know people aren't always into that sort of stuff, especially if you don't follow someone for that and you just get an influx of posts of them complaining. And I still want to keep things relatively light hearted around here, at best maybe just some critiques on things here and there.

It's late, I'm on my phone when I should probably just sleep it off, so sleep it off I will.

[clonedchaos]

Welp, as I was googling some images for Yasammy week, I came across a thread and turns out one of my favorite Jurassic YouTubers is homophobic and a Yasammy hater…

(More ranting in the tags)

[wonder-worker]

Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.

[beagleboytoy]

im gonna be honest for a moment

i say this as a genuine fan of helluva boss. i say this is a genuine fan of Stolas. he’s my blorbo worblo silly rabbit and i will love him until i die

that being said, i cannot fucking stand what season 2 has done to him

season 1 stolas was so FUN. the posh way he acted was FUN. the way he clearly carried himself as a royal was FUN. the demeaning way he spoke was FUN. his hypsersexuality was FUN. he was genuinely an entertaining character that i not only enjoyed but honestly related to in a lot of ways

whether intentional or not, season 2 stolitz (and by extension, stolas) feels like SUCH a fucking retcon. it genuinely feels like the narrative is trying to gaslight us into thinking that stolas was always this noble hearted and humble prince when (as many have pointed out) HE VERY CLEARLY WASN’T (AND STILL ISN’T)

that and it just feels like all of the character traits from before that made him entertaining to watch have just been replaced with Sad and Desperate. im sure there’s a way to flesh him out beyond just a Horny and Strange Prince Guy. but i just cant help but feel like this isnt the most satisfying way to do it