#better late than ever i suppose
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psyxophagos · 6 months ago
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🎉🎉🎉 NEIL GAIMAN DOWN 🎉🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳
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drrba · 1 year ago
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friend-shaped guys
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virsancte · 10 months ago
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good days aren't easy to come by
#simblr#ts4 legacy#valentine gen 4#fun fact for context on why i care so much abt him finally choosing to play the piano on his own#but it's gonna get Long so strap in#basically. the guitar he used to have had been with him since he was like...... my god. probably about 15#he bought it at a yard sale for pennies from an older woman#it belonged to her late son originally and it wasn't even . supposed to be a part of the sale in the first place. she just took a liking to#devin and figured that really it's better in the hands of someone who would use it than for it to collect dust in her garage forever#and he couldn't really practice at home. his parents... are not exactly the kindest people you've ever seen#he was too afraid of them destroying or throwing it away so he'd sneak off to god knows where and learn how to play it from old#youtube videos on his busted up phone#it quickly became Everything to him. his most prized possession. and it wasn't a shitty guitar either. the son was a professional musician#that's how ellie and devin met in the first place. he was playing at the market she used to sneak out to in the evenings to#and she instantly knew . this boy is going places and really they might as well go together#enough backstory of the backstory. long story short: he was struggling to make rent eventually and was out of vinyls to pawn off#so he had no choice left. it was either that or he'd get kicked out along with his sister. who was still struggling a lot w/ addiction#so he sold it. and it broke him. he's literally just not been the same since losing it#his sister stole him a guitar from a music shop she'd go to sometimes but it just wasn't the same and he had not played an instrument since#until now anyway#still not a guitar. but maybe someday#or he can find his old one and buy it again.........#lmfao if you made it here congrats. you win nothing bc im broke but i do respect you
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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year ago
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i do love canon amy & rory but god, does some part of me wish they really had gone with the idea of the doctor picking up a child as a companion (and then later, that child’s best friend with a huge crush on her.) with the rest of the season really not changing at all, except now it’s amelia pond with an angel in her head killing her and lost alone in the woods. it’s little rory who dies and is forgotten and becomes a toy soldier. if this is going to be a fairy tale, then let it be one. children have never been safe in fairy tales.
#it wouldn’t have to change any of the actual plot of the season. except MAYBE amy’s choice but even then i think amy’s choice would be the#one episode where they should be adults. if only for the half where they live in a village in that dream.#because that’s the kind of future that children would dream up. they live in a little cottage and nothing ever goes wrong and their best#friend visits them all the time even though they’ve grown up.#they aren’t actually adults there just children with an idea of what they should be as adults and acting accordingly#and it would still end the same way.#but idk its just. rory’s 2000 years waiting for amy inside the pandorica is already tragic. yes.#now imagine its a kid. a kid in a little roman soldier helmet who will never grow up. who will not leave his best friend.#he loves her and she’s more important than the whole universe and that sort of love is supposed to MEAN something in a fairy tale!#its supposed to melt the ice out of hearts and transform people from stone.#and what that love means here. is that he will have to wait 2000 years. a child and a box.#little rory and the amelia who followed the doctor’s letters to the pandorica. and she doesn’t recognize him again.#and amelia in the pandorica… 2000 years a child trapped in a small box waiting to be rescued.#s5 is already fucked for them but it could be worse. it could be so much worse.#and it would make the doctor choosing to take her place in the pandorica to save the universe later even better.#because who else but the doctor would put the fate of the universe on the shoulders of two children and realize much too late what a#monstrous thing he’d done. and still have to hope. have to hope. that amelia would remember him fondly enough to bring him back to reality.#the logistics of all of this would have been a pain lmao. child labor laws in acting and all that.#BUT. hypothetically. it would have slapped.#doctor who#amy pond#rory williams#<- also this entire time ive been referring to him in my head as rory pond so much that i fuckin. forgot his actual last name.#and then like if you want them to be adults in s6 or whatever you can just timeskip to them getting married and still have amelia remember#the doctor there. it would work. it would.#amelia pond au
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gracieo · 3 months ago
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It’s been so difficult to draw lately n I only feel like I’m lettin folks down because I can’t keep up in any regard. I see friends drawing and feel myself straining n frustrated because I want so badly to be able to as well, but life’s been hurtin n life’s been rough thus it’s taken somethin so important as drawing from me. I hope to God it comes back soon.
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mars-ipan · 4 months ago
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people have been real niceys to me about my art lately and it makes me really really happy…. :]
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insanechayne · 4 months ago
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~ ~ ~
#I hate who I am when I start missing human contact and feeling lonely#I start missing someone who was awful to me simply because they were reliable in talking to me every day and at least sort of my friend#I start craving the connections that you see in media even though I know those types aren’t real#it seems like everyone else has more people and better people and closer people in their lives than me#it seems like everyone has best friends and partners that are closer to them and better for them#and idk it just feels like things are missing from my life#I have a partner but I can’t always talk to them when I need to because they can’t always handle a conversation#I have a best friend but he barely ever answers my calls and things feel distant between us lately#I have other friends but they’re not the kinds that I feel I could turn to for help when I’m lonely like this#I have my parents but neither of them are very good at comfort in these situations#and I just want to cry because I feel so completely by myself and I don’t know what to do anymore#I just want someone to talk to and who will listen to me when I need help and advice and be there for me#I’m starting to really miss the wrong people again even though I know I’m better without them in my life#but at least I could send them anything and get a response fairly soon when I needed to#at least for a while they were very close to me and i think that’s what I really miss most of all#just the closeness of another person since I don’t always feel that with other relationships these days#it’s times like these I wish I’d just killed myself at 16 so I wouldn’t have to keep dealing with this over and over forever#it’s times like these I wanna fade away#if I’m going to be alone anyway then why bother keeping others around at all? why not just break off and go be a hermit somewhere else?#but I can’t do that because I have too many responsibilities that I need to take care of#idk maybe I should just kill myself and get it over with#pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to make it this long in the first place#I mean I’m being facetious cause I’m not overly suicidal and I’m not actually going to do anything#just kinda wish I could in a weird sort of way#like missing the feeling of a blade slicing my skin since I stopped cutting a long time ago#just want more out of my relationships and from myself and from my life and idk how to get any of that#personal
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chemblrish · 1 year ago
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nekrosmos · 7 months ago
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dany36 · 2 years ago
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ALRIGHT SO after just...three days i finished final fantasy crystal chronicles: the crystal bearers and....wow....this game....sigh!! where do i begin!!!! i went in expecting nothing and came out of it just...WISHING even MORE that nintendo or square enix will pick up this terribly underrated game series again and make another game to immerse us back in into its beautiful world. the game's story seriously crushed my heart and surprise surprise!! left on a cliffhanger and it SUCKS cus there probably won't ever be a sequel to this game!! :)))) but ahhhhh the ffcc brain rot is back stronger than ever and i love it. more super long junk thoughts below!!!
ok so let's start with the bad things, the most obvious one being the gameplay. i knew beforehand that this game was big on motion controls and that the main character's power of telekinesis heavily relied on it. so it's nothing like the previous games in the series where you fight with swords or lances or magic. so it's kind of...unusual....that the way that you kill enemies in this game is by flinging them around or throwing enemies against each other. and to be honest it took me a good 8 hours (mind you i completed this game at about 11 hours in) to actually get used to the gameplay and find some sort of joy in it, because well it's just...not really like any other game i've played before!! it isn't until i started to actually leveling up my accessories (which farming for materials in this game is a PAIN) and improving my range/focus that i started to somewhat enjoy it.
anyway, about 2-3 hours in i started to realize that this game is more of a...game that decides to tell a really good, fascinating story with motion control minigames in-between. and it wouldn't be so bad if the minigames were somewhat fun, but really i think they're the worst part of the game, and it makes me wonder just...what were they thinking lol. i'd say the worst offenders are that beach battle and the one where you have to sneak around the train. like...they were seriously tedious and would make me stop and think "wow what the hell kind of game am i playing...?"
the one part that really bummed me out was that...well, not to compare yet again to the original, cus heck even in most video games when you're in a town and you see NPCs, normally you can talk to them and learn more about the world or tidbits of information. but this game? you can't speak to ANY of the NPCs. the only people you can talk to here are this moogle that guides you on where to go next, and NPCs that trigger minigames which...to be honest, i think i only ever did two or so, cus again i didn't find them enjoyable to play at all.
and it made me sad because one of my favorite parts of ffcc was that you could speak to pretty much any NPC in the towns you'd go to and you'd get to learn more about the town, get lore information, or even get to know more about the NPCs and their lives. like that girl in marr's pass that would talk about their parents getting a divorce? or learn about how the ferryman's mom was sick and that's why he sold you that ferry pass to get money for her?? it just makes towns and the world feel much more lively! but here the towns, even though they would look bustling with activity and NPCs interacting with each other, it just felt...empty and not very fun at all to walk around and explore.
and it's such a shame because the world in TCB looks so interesting! like there's all these clavats and selkies and lilties out and about in the overworld, in the lett fields, in the vineyard picking fruit, in the red leaf area just chilling in a pond, and i want to talk to them!!! i want to learn more about it and how the world has changed from 1000 years since the miasma stopped tormenting the world! but no, instead of learning about it through NPCs or talking with other people or even sidequests, the game gives you this information through news crawlers that show at the bottom that i sometimes would forget to read because hey, i'm trying to walk around and see what i can discovery! oh wait, i lied, now that i remember, you CAN talk to NPCs but only in...yuke city! and from what i remember, they don't really say anything important that made me go "whoa" like when they TALKED ABOUT HOW CRYSTAL BEARERS CAME TO BE and WHY the lilty kingdom considers them an abomination!! cus they think it's a curse from the yukes!! like what!! how are you just gonna say that to me in a freaking news crawler!! aahhhh!!!
WHICH brings me to my next point....is anyone gonna talk about the miasma streams?? like hello??? what's going on here lol. like the first time i saw them i was like uhhhh oh the miasma streams are...back? but no one really seems to mention them?? unless i missed it in a news crawler but it's like WHAT those bitches were scary AF in the first game and here it's like...nobody really cares! truly wild.
sigh. but ANYWAY! enough about the bad things. let's talk about the good things! and of course my favorite thing about video games is...the soundtrack, which this game's is just FANTASTIC. this isn't the first game that i've decided to pick up and play because i happened to listen to its soundtrack first instead of the game (see: nights journey of dreams, sonic colors, sonic unleashed, etc.). and just...without words. like...it's no secret that the original ffcc is one of my all-time favorite OSTs, so the first time i heard alfitaria capital city, i was completely blown away and had to stop what i was doing at work. like this game REALLY did manage to capture the sound and atmosphere of the original alfitaria city and modernized it to fit the era of crystal bearers. and i mean the game WARNS you from the start that you're about to play a game with a badass soundtrack: it greets you with such a gorgeous song right at the title screen (a sacred haven), which it BRILLIANTLY reuses in an intense scene towards the end of the game!! i wanted to cry!!!! like UGHHHH i love video game music so much and alskdfjlaskjdflaskjdf.
honorable mentions of the soundtrack are: snowfields (now THIS also reminds me a lot of the original ffcc soundtrack...fucking beautiful!), the pioneer spirit (loved this song in the eastern wildlands but now when i hear it it makes me want to cry cus it's the one that plays in the ending scene with belle out looking for layle and keiss heading to the selkie guild to take care of his tribe aND alkdjsflksjadflkjasdlfkj just stab me in the heart already please), and the moogle woods (this...is honestly such a soothing melody like wow i want my mind to be in this place every second of my life PLEASE). there's obviously more but those are the ones that stand out to me, i'll definitely be listening to it more in the coming days now that i'm more aware of where/when these songs play. and more tears will be incoming!!!
and lastly, the story and the characters. i don't even know where to start. first of all, the designs of the characters are fantastic. i mean, the world and lore of FFCC is just honestly amazing and seeing the characters now with a more "realistic" approach to them was such a pleasure to see instead of the chibi-like ones we saw in the original/DS games. like seriously, everyone looks so fucking cool in this game! keiss, belle, layle, AMIDATELION MY FUCKING BELOVED, just...everyone! i mean the yuke already looked cool as fuck in the original, but here i don't know what it was about them that increased their cool factor by 1000%. and i think that's what makes me so angry about this series! there's so much potential in the world of FFCC and its characters and it's such a shame that we might not get to see more of it! it was honestly driving me insane as i was playing through the game because like i mentioned above, there is so much to explore and so many possibilities but instead we got this severely underrated game with a gorgeous story but that was badly executed.
ok so the story! i'm not sure how much of it would make sense to people that are new to the series. i mean i don't think the game does a good job at explaining its setting or the tribes or the history of the lilties. i mean, we know that they had already ruled the world by the time ffcc1 came around and some of the NPCs were mentioning how they wanted the "glorious age of lilties" to come back. so when i found out that the lilties and the yukes were in a great war that caused for the yukes to all but vanish i was just like...what the fuck man!! not the freaking power-hungry lilties at it again wanting to be the all-mighty tribe to rule over all of them!! sheesh!!!! and then you have the selkies who are still more or less outcasts and loners, and then the ever-peaceful clavats that are poor but always hard at work (fields of fum anyone?). oh and witnessing the hatred that existed between the lilties and selkies, with the lilties being called onions? like HELLO!!! again, so much potential and room for exploration but it all just left me wanting more!
but i think even not knowing much about the past games, this game's story manages to be super engaging and interesting. and it all takes a huge fucking turn once you discover that jegran aka the lilty high commander is...a fucking crystal bearer!!! what the hell! and his power is beyond fucked up!! i seriously WAS NOT expecting amidatelion to die, like she was just trying to save her tribe, her family, and she sacrificed herself for layle!! and put her trust in him to carry out the resurrection!!! 😭😭😭😭😭 i was in just utter shock!!! amidatelion is seriously one of the coolest characters in the game, and them being voiced by caitlin glass just made me love them even mrore. and then the whole thing in the aerial prison with jegran turning the selkies into crystals?? finding out princess althea was ALSO A CRYSTAL BEARER??? like the game starts out pretty slow in its storytelling but once the whole jegran/crystal bearer thing happens, the intensity of the game is just nonstop. honestly i REALLY enjoyed the more "mature", darker storyline that TCB took and it seriously makes me want to do a new game+ to experience the story again. it is just THAT good and satisfying to watch all of the plot twists unravel into the final battle.
as for the ending, i'd say i'm pretty happy with it. i seriously cheered and clapped of joy when princess althea and a group of yukes shook hands to signify the start of a new era for all tribes (SCREW YOU JEGRAN). and honestly...whatever belle has going on for layle, i support it lol. i thought it was super cute how she, of all people!!, is the one that refuses to give up hope on layle being alive (and she's right!), so she sets out to look for him while my boy keiss goes to help out the selkies after their leader sacrificed himself. i mean, i can't say i understand why layle is still a bearer even though it looks like the game wants you to think that bearers lost their power (like althea), but if so, would that mean that jegran is also still alive somewhere??? GOD obviously a sequel is probably never going to happen but the possibilities of it just make me heart itch!!!
all in all, the gameplay truly is the worst part of a game that has such a wonderful and engaging story to tell, and if there are any other ffcc fans like me that were put off by the gameplay, then PLEASE at least look for a let's play to see the cutscenes because wow, the story is MORE than worth it if you're a fan of the series.
so i guess next step for me is to play ring of fates cus i never did play that, and replay echoes of time because i played it in college and i have almost no recollection of it lol. but i doubt anything (not even the original ffcc) will come close to just how this game, despite its many shortcomings, managed to build a fantastic set of characters that you empathize with and learn to love as the story slowly but surely develops. what a ride!!!
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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years ago
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that moment when: everyone's lives are restricted and constricted and these imposed consequences are attributed to anyone's continual individual failures to seek, find, and follow the Correct Path through Life, and so everyone is left on their own to only be seeking & finding these failures as well as the only answer to how their lives can be better....versus Not seeing the world as the free marketplace meritocracy of everyone's personal failures/successes, nor everything in your own life, and thus not forever having to scrutinize Where You Must Be Bringing It Upon Yourself by fucking up or at least failing to do the correct thing, and exist only in perpetual punishment for your ongoing failure and occasional temporary reprieves from it. recognizing everything that wasn't & isn't & wouldn't be [this is because you're bringing it upon yourself] and thus having more capacity & capability to look at the realm of your personal individual self, reality, experiences, life through the perpetual instances of seeking, finding, and following your own needs/wants through one's inherent personhood and exercises of autonomy and recognition of where & when & how one recognizes moments of their existing freely & in more resonant genuine alignment with themself, you know? endless examples to be found in endless fractals of [where & how are people's lives made smaller]. and that of course this doesn't preclude the ability/option at any time to question one's choices, since you'll be able to find more Actual choices available to you (and, also crucially, find more actual choices made by others that are in the pursuit of limiting Yours) to look at, and people getting to exercise their autonomy isn't the same as "everyone doing anything they want regardless of how it affects others" since that [how does it affect others?] element instead being Regarded would be able to lead to recognizing that, in fact, an effect might be the infringement on others' autonomy, hence: There's A Problem....like the ability to just go ham with [questioning???] anything in existence, certainly including oneself, b/c the "norm" is such that rather you're only supposed to be able to question yourself for your failings (or those positioned as less than, thus, beneath you) and not even have the language to express a questioning of aspects of life beyond that b/c stop calling anyone "cis" they're just Normal, Just Be Normal and it would all be fine
#brought to you by: i think one of my feelings lately of A Shift is in my less than ever running this like continuous background function of#looking for Thee Answer (just like the black suits) in any & everything that could serve as the Key to like. whatever could fit into place#to like set things on a [hell yeah. life? better] path. juxtaposing this recent sense of things with the [lol. in retrospect i Do see a new#context wherein i can Recognize smthing abt myself] past going on of like. granpa greentext story be me be fifteen i'm in college b/c i hat#school i also mostly assumed i'd probably fail out freshman yr but didn't. i've never known what i'd wanna major in & as a sophomore i'm de#supposed to figure it out in time for scheduling my jr yr classes (though Ideally have known from the start / been scheduling thusly) & so#many evenings during dinner i'm furiously perusing the daily print news as i've been doing for some yrs to Keep Up W/Current Events but now#also consciously like ''boy i hope in the course of doing this i stumble across some info that sparks some eureka moment of Getting what my#major should Obviously be so i can understand the rest of my life around [do job] b/c i sure as hell don't understand it around [be married#much less [be parent] so one option remains obvi'' whereas now i realize like lol you Were figuring out a guiding light in doing so & that#perspective being honed was one of Having A Political Analysis times....which also provides another Example of [only being able to interpre#what makes your life & your world the way it is: via Your Personal Failures to have already Had Better] in that just like i often forget i#misguidedly (but also reasonably; clearly also using & seeking that autonomy & freedom) tried to have a better existence within the#situation i was in by Coming Out As Trans to parents via an email that was then not directly discussed ever; b/c any legitimate discussion#was not permissible like how so many matters of [supposed correct existence] are Unspeakable so as to be Unquestionable#languaging that succeeds & sustains itself having to be expansive / flexible / creative / evolving too. Making Up Words hell yes#anyways so i also forget i Did try to propose majoring in things that Did more approach what i was suspecting were things i'd wanna do#but even the first like expression of anything on the periphery of that was met with ''no you'd hate it b/c you'd have to deal w/Stupid Ppl#every day'' (by which was meant; with believed inherent synonymity: poor people) & then i also will oft forget i pushed for it any further#which i Know i did b/c of it next being met with angry & aggressive ''i've never heard you talk abt that interest before So''#(wonder why? withholding info to protect yourself=finding room in one's life for existing more freely; exercising the autonomy to Do That)#but it's easy to forget b/c The All Encompassing Perspective was rather [i'm sure Failing to just Know my major for the sole possibility fo#defining one's entire life: The Correct Dream Job] & then Failing to push it or just express it & be understood ''correctly'' even if i Did#have any ideas in that realm. vs seeing how i Was succeeding & was recognizing shit & pursuing it & looking out for myself & etccc#it's undeniable lol like the framing even that Blaming Oneself is an autonomy seeking response. b/c your autonomous power in your own life#sure Would be more immediate if Everything Really Was Your Fault (when ofc really this is abt obscuring & denying the responsibility of ppl#who have the power over others' lives & then have to act like this is all the fault of the Others; they themselves have never Truly Chosen)#no victim blaming no condemnation of anyone's ''passivity'' here babey#re: the undeniability it's how like. maybe you've only Just realized you're not cis but in doing so it's like ''oh That's what i already#recognizing in various ways throughout my whole life'' it's all always Been there/going on & perspex shifts + new lenses can reveal them
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supercantaloupe · 2 years ago
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christ they're running us ragged over here
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lowestechelonabomination · 2 years ago
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was freaking out about how I was going to fail this one stupid seminar class that's for SOME REASON a graduation requirement and thinking there's no way I'm getting above a 60 in it because there are only 10 assignments for the whole semester and all of them are weighted equally and all of them SUCK and are exactly the stuff I hate doing and I've been super behind in the class for the past 3 months so basically I'm screwed and then uh. my four missing assignments got put in as zeroes and my grade only dropped to a 58. WHICH IS BAD. but if I turn them in and get 50s on all of them and then get a 90 on the culminating paper (WHICH IS WEIGHTED THE SAME AS THE OTHER ASSIGNMENTS FOR SOME REASON BUT WHATEVERRRRR) I'll have a solid 76. WHICH IS NOT GREAT. BUT IT'S NOT FAILING. GUYS I'M NOT GOING TO FAIL
#the only time ive ever failed a class was in 8th grade and my lowest grade since then was a brief 79 in 10th grade#physics c senior year humbled me so much with my raw test scores being in the 40s but like even then i had an 87 overall#because the ap curve was so insane#so basically. im not used to getting bad grades#i dont LIKE the idea of having a c in this class but its better than a d or f#and theres really nothing more i can do except turn my stuff in and hope for the best#ive been pretty good at sticking to the department late policy protocol but the emails are embarrassing to send tbh#im supposed to give advance notice of late assignments (ie send an email before the due date) and give a reason for it being late#but what reason can i possibly give#'hello proffie ^_^ the paper due at 11:59 today will be late for...reasons. ill turn it in eventually i prommy ^_^ btw i hate your class'#jokes aside i thought this woman was awful for the first 2 months or so and was terrified of approaching her#but after hanging out in her office hours a couple times ive realized shes actually pretty chill and knows what shes doing#i was so scared shed hate me somehow but apparently she likes me enough to make the department late penalty a little less harsh on me#so thats kind of her#and i did give a reason for the late work#unmedicated adhd + inexplicable burnout + general inability to do anything when overwhelmed#and now she seems sorta worried about me even though she still doesnt remember my name or face#but anywaayyyyyyy i have TWO DAYS to turn all my missing work in DEAR GOD#WHAT DO I DO#HELP#I CANT DO THIS#BUT I CANT JUST HAVE A 58 IN THIS CLASS EITHER#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#ech.txt
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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i'll read more from now on again
#🌙.rambles#so much to just think about n i'm lost in my own lil world#tmrrw gna have to face reality again bcs of school :c but. yk lately this year i think i've already developed lots#this past week has been especially formative.#i crave n yearn.. intimacy so much. i want to just be free like that. bcs i'm safe in my own self n. too much to say but#i think it's lonely. being out a lot today made me realize that. all these barriers in communication is so.. lonely#i want to read so much more for so many reasons but here with what i've already laid out the first reason i'll say is#i want to understand others better i want to even further expand my own thinking n just learn so much more#n then.. goddamn i want to write too. write so much so i could#it hurts. it hurts so much i feel like i know n think n feel more than i should n the wisdom is breaking me apart i don't know how to put it#into words. maybe that's why i've been afraid to start new things despite my insatiable curiosity n passion.#afraid of how it'll fill me with even more & i'm not sure how i'd manage. i feel as though i understand life differently than most..#most people around me at least. i see myself in musicians. artists. writers.#people who create once they've taken in much as well. people like me but.. it's been rather disturbing when i realize how most of them end#up like. n i wonder. i just wonder so much. n wish n dream that maybe i could end up differently.#i want so desperately to break out of the chains of reality of society of.. all those. idead that are taught to us n internalized ever since#we were born? i don't know how to write it and i don't think words could ever do it justice. but i want to truly be who i am at heart.#and yet being self-aware i suppose is confusing in such a bittersweet way. there's so much more that i do not know and cannot grasp#& then sometimes at the end of the day i just wonder n dream about if ever i would be more connected with reality. with this world.#regardless of how much one may put out to the world.. it'll never be understood or known in the same way as the one it originates from.#it's lonely. sad. but it makes what we can convey and relate with much more meaningful. n i'm so grateful for those things#n there's also just so much that relates to it n. yeah. is part of it like#the unconscious subconscious n conscious mind#for fuck's sake i want to learn so much it's overwhelming. psychoanalysis n neuroscience n#i want to learn more of others too. i want deep conversations. i want to read more books n listen to more music n just consume more n more#to learn more of the people who created them. everything around us is just so full of life n. it's so beautiful n so overwhelmingly painful.#my helplessness in doing more. i'm aware of why. n it just hurts. it hurts so much but i'm#glad at least that lately i've been more free. more myself. more self-aware n aware of the universe in general. n i look forward to#so much more. but.. yeah i still crave to be 'real' n part of this world in a more 'normal' way at times#i. have so much to write. but for now i'll return to reality with the this.. odd feeling in my chest. not enough too little too much. life
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halfratsalready · 2 months ago
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Tagged by @doodling-doodle :)
Last Song: A Little Priest from Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2023 Broadway Cast Recording) (Josh Groban and Annaleigh Ashford my parentsss) (technically not last song cuz I’m listening to it now but ya know)
Favorite colors: Red (the blood of angry men) and Black (the dark of ages past) (no seriously those are my favorite colors the Les Mis reference just happens to work)
Last book: Dracula by Bram Stoker
Last movie: Labyrinth (1986)
Last TV show: Will (2017) (genuinely such a good show and nobody knows about it cuz it’s on no streaming services but agh I love it and JAMIE CAMPBELL BOWER MY BELOVED)
Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet
Relationship status: Turning 22 in less than a week and has never even had a crush on anyone
Last thing I googled: Mary Jane Kelly funeral (Mary Jane Kelly was the fifth and final victim of Jack the Ripper and is the inspiration for a musical I’m writing. I try to take a moment on the anniversaries of her death and her funeral to privately honor her memory. I know her funeral was either the day before or after my birthday, but I can never remember which, so I looked it up)
Current obsession: (This is the part where I look like a lunatic oops…) This one show a nearby theme park does at Halloween (I wish I was joking but it occupies my every thought), high key falling back into my Grindeldore obsession (fuck JKR! fortunately the fan content for this ship is 10x better than anything canon can offer so I don’t have to engage with any of her content to engage with the ship, also JAMIE CAMPBELL BOWER MY BELOVED), and ngl feeling sort of drained of my JD obsession but hoping that the fic exchange will fix it (fingers crossed)
Looking forward to: A Friendsgiving party, my birthday (sort of, but also scared to turn 22 lol), doing holiday season things with friends, PowerPoint night with friends in January 😈 (also seeing aforementioned theme park Halloween show again next year and Halloween next year in general)
Tagging- you all know the drill, hop in if you wanna, I love reading people’s answers to these :)
ten people i'd like to get to know better
tagged by: @megkuna thanks <333
last song: the phantom of the opera
favorite color: muted green
last book: uhhhhhh oh man i really need to start reading books
last movie: phantom of the opera which i watched with a friend
last tv show: the original star trek which i also watched with a friend
sweet/spicy/savory: sweet, i love sugar too much
relationship status: single and not looking, i'd rather just have more friends
last thing i googled: "how to know if skincare routine is too harsh" my pimples hurt in a Different way now :(
current obsession: probably still mob psycho 100 but it's not what it used to be. yay depression
looking forward to: when my family finally moves into the new house
tagging: @scarecloud69 @disorganised-thoughtss @daneonrainbow @lawful-goof @officialkarinuzumaki @leo-probably @vychodocech @umkayonninay @mocha-blossom @spageddy29 no pressure though <3
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coelacat · 13 days ago
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petty complaint time: being a queer woman into men sucks!!! this sucks. you dare want to see your relationship portrayed in the fandom, and all you see in the tag is people trying to act like theyre superior for liking a "straight" ship amongst all the gay ones, or in every unrelated tag that ship is bashed and they say that the characters "deserve better." im as much a fujoshi as the next guy but im so fucking tired of the women being forgotten about and getting less content than the stupid yaoi brothers. all because she "deserves better" you dont fucking treat her like it!!
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