#I feel like no matter what I will never be allowed to be happy

[burningcheese-merchant]

ANSWER THIS AND YOU GET A FUNNY BURNING CHEESE COMIC

Hear me out

The ancients giving themselves up to the beasts as sacrifices if they agreed to leave earthbread alone and never wreck terror or show their faces again

I'd say everyone besides Flour would go:

Say less Babygirl*hops into a pumpkin carriage and rides off into the sunset*

Maybe Salt would need a lot of convincing because... Holy shit it could be this easy, Milk you seeing this, quick Spice snap a photo this is a moment in history

Flour is just in massive denial but would find a way to agree to mke it seem like it isn't about love or anything

Unknown3doors, don't tempt me like that 👀 don't tempt me like that, unknown3doors 👀 you're playing with fire, unknown3doors 👀🔥

Pure Vanilla surrendering to Shadow Milk would be the happiest day of Shadow's life. He makes Vanilla repeat himself multiple times, makes him announce it through a megaphone, they do a radio broadcast, Shadow makes a TV special out of it, Shadow writes poems and essays gloating and taunting... And then he eventually agrees to Vanilla's terms (although, he DOES try to haggle for permission to continue annoying people). Pure Vanilla is HIS!!! HE'S FINALLY HIS!!! FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!!! (And the Soul Jam, technically. But WHATEVER!!! HIS SILLY VANILLY!!!). Now Vanilla must endure having to spend EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of his life within 10 feet of Shadow AT ALL TIMES, or else the deal is off and Shadow will commit genocide in retaliation. Why the long face, though? You agreed to this! You knew this would happen! Maybe if Vanilla behaves well enough, like a good little doll, Shadow will allow himself to be HIS doll for a time. Tit for tat. It's only fair. They can be each other's playmate for eternity now...

Eternal Sugar would be 100% awake for the first time in forever if Hollyberry offered herself to her - in exchange for anything at all, it never had to have been for keeping innocents safe. Typical of Holly, in her estimate; she's not necessarily surprised by this. Maybe she'll feign a bit of surprise just because, maybe she'll tease Holly about it... But all in all, she's quite pleased. Now she can keep those pesky subjects of Holly's away from her much easier (as well as her friends... Including that ridiculous dragon...). Holly will learn to see things her way eventually. Appreciate the little things. Like a nice, long nap in a warm bed, in the arms of a loved one... Pleasant, sugary sweet dreams that are too comforting to wake up from... No one ever bothering them about anything ever again. Free from their responsibilities, free from the burden of the shield and the crown. Just the two of them in their own little world, pursuing their own happiness. Won't that be nice?

Mystic Flour would struggle to even entertain Dark Cacao's presence, never mind his... proposal (oh gods, not that word). She would refuse, and refuse, and refuse again. But Cacao does not give up, stubborn fool that he is. Curse his Light of Resolution... Eventually, in lieu of plainly refusing, she tries to appeal to reason. What about his kingdom? His people? What would they say, think, do? Will he leave them behind just to keep her pacified? What about his friends? His son? Who will rule in his absence? Unfortunately, Cacao has an answer for every single one of her questions... and, with an even greater undertone of misfortune... she likes them. That part of her that likes HIM also likes this. That he always has an answer for everything she says. That he won't bend the knee to her, no matter what. His self-sacrificing nature, bordering on martyrdom... just like hers once was. In truth, every word out of her mouth is only serving to delay her inevitable acceptance of his offer. A feeble attempt at shooing him away, one final shot at denying her feelings towards him, for having him around her constantly would be too much to bear, and she might... She... She'll break. She knows she will. And she can't have it. She won't stand for it.

... Dark Cacao, stubborn, handsome, selfless fool that he is. He has undone everything she ever worked for. Her apathy meant nothing the moment they locked eyes. It means nothing now, as they go back and forth about this foolish deal of his. And it won't mean anything when she eventually says yes.

(But she'll try to pretend otherwise, for as long as she can. Neither of them could handle the truth...)

Golden Cheese: Burning Spice, if you leave everyone else alone, I'll give myself to-

Burning Spice: DEAL!!!!!!!!! *pounces on her before she can actually finish or explain herself any further... What he does next, I'll let you imagine/decide 😉*

Silent Salt... wouldn't even believe it at first. He'd be astounded. Dumbfounded, really, that White Lily would say such a thing... Is this really her? Is someone forcing her to do this? What is the catch? Enough reassurance from her would convince him that she's being real and sincere and every other word that can be used to describe her deal, and... he accepts it. No other ifs, ands or buts. His White Lily... now, she really IS his White Lily. Forever and ever... He doesn't mind having to keep away from society; that's hardly a punishment. It costs him nothing. And if his White Lily is there with him, he won't even notice the difference...

[jeffrrandell]

Explanation for the connection I made lol 👇

I'm gonna at least slightly explain Tord and Gravy being roommates. I'm not going to lie to you guys, this was a joke made because when my friends and I were watching "Technical Foul" from 8 Crazy Nights we were like "that's like if Tord crashed at Gravys house tbh" and then it turned into "Tord somehow becomes Gravys roommate after he leaves Edds house, for like maybe 2-3 years. And it's almost like a Disney movie. Tords just happy he has a place to stay, and he knows Gravy is just soooooo nice but man is he annoying. So he's not mean to him, he just is autistic and only ever likes Edd anyway basically. But he warms up to em. Gravy works a ton of jobs, and Tord cleans up around the house. And an odd but actually important detail is Gravy smokes weed (because of all of these jobs), and Tord took interest in that. Getting high together kinda made it easier for his nerves to be calmed down, and it made it easier for him to realize "oh Gravy is just a guy". Of course afterwards, Gravy turns back to jumpy goofy Gravy, but Tord learned to appreciate the energy. Tord and Blonzie were already slight acquaintances, actually before Tord met Gravy. Somehow for whatever reason Tord ends up at the auto shop he works at, probably asked about a pile of spare parts that looked like junk and Blonzie said "take em". So they had that for a while. They're mechanically intelligent together. Plus Tord finds his stunts REALLY cool, as he loves destruction too. He'd love to invent little things for him to try out. They also both have "I'm gonna be silent now" autism. Anyway, he never in his life expected for Gravy to be like "meet my boyfriend" and "oh whataya know, it's the guy that calls me Tiny and gives me spare parts". Not sure if it makes sense for Tord to still be living with Gravy when he gets with Blonzie or not, but either way they'd make a really weird fun trio. Gravy definitely opened up Tords weird side for him. Because Tord is just so closeted around everyone, even Edd didn't know a few secrets about him (for probably crush related reasons, intimidation.) But with Gravy, it sorta didn't matter to him what he told him. He'd listen, and I mean it's sad but. Gravys a huge loser who's pushed around EVERYDAY, and for a bit Tords view on that was "well he has it worse than I do so he can't judge me"

But yeah, they're friends lol

In a WTFuture timeline, this was also a joke that turned out to be something that we all kinda liked. I believe in Tord clone theory btw! Basically one day, Not Tord shows up to Gravys house one day. Reminder that if this is a bad timeline, Blonzie is dead sorry. But yeah Gravy notices something is off about him. Very off. Like, somehow this Tord knows Gravy would call him "buddy" buuut.. Tord never called HIM "buddy". Blah blah blah somehow Gravy is in the Red Army. And I don't mean as a soldier, the last thing Tord wants is for him to die actually. As in any timeline, Gravy will work a million jobs. And that's exactly what he does. I'm talking coffee runs and goofy shit like that. Because to me, yeah Red Leader is "WOAAHH crazy leader man scary he's taking over the world" but it's EDDSWORLD, so he's also "aw man. My helmet stinky" "play just dance with me I'm bored" like y'know. Before this concept, I was like "yup. Gravy is the first to die in this timeline" and then it turned into "Tord wants to keep him alive because he'd be dead bored without him"

And I'm serious it's gets so goofy. To a point where THIS Tord also opens up to Gravy, crying about Edd and being like "I'LL JUST GET RID OF ALL THE COKE IN THE WORLD I CANT LOOK AT IT ANYMORE!!" and then he's like "😲💡" and then Gravy talks about his feelings too.

Potentially as well, since Gravy is trained in medical, he could also technically take care of wounded soldiers and almost act as a doctor but ONLY back at headquarters, he's not allowed to go anywhere he'd be in danger. Anyways. Yup. My sick and twisted mind.

[kakao-lovey]

ꨄ︎ Single on Valentine's: ideas to inspire some self-love

We all have that person in our class or friend group that is seemingly always in love. It is easy to compare yourself and feel 'Not good enough' for a partner, 'Antisocial' (In this context, Asocial), or that you're 'Going to be alone forever'. I've got news: those people who are constantly in and out of relationships are rarely happy, because they need a romantic partner for validation. They have problems loving themselves, so they need someone else to do it for them. So, whether you're aromantic, newly single or have never even had a proper relationship -- you will NOT spend this Valentine's Day crying. Not on my watch.

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ꨄ The importance of self-love, and how to attain it

The only person you can spend your whole life with is YOU. The only person who will always be with you is YOU. If you want to actually be happy in life (As opposed to constantly seeking validation from others to be happy), you need to make amends and grow a healthy relationship with yourself. Now, that's all great and good in theory, but you have likely heard this a million times and still don't know how to actually go about it. You can take real-life steps to begin to love yourself, and all you need to start is ask this question: How would I treat the person I love most in this world?

ꨄ︎ Ideas for your best Valentine's Day yet

Firstly, if you're scared to go into public on your own on the 14th, thinking you'll be judged: do it. Have the audacity. Do what everyone else is too embarrassed to do. Think of it as practicing your confidence, taking steps to have a less insecure mindset.

Writing letters to your past, present and future self: tell nine-year-old you that it's going to be alright. Write to them to say that whatever happened is not their fault. Or tell future you that you're proud of them no matter what, because if they're reading it, they're still standing.

Love language of physical touch: yes, there are ways to speak this language with yourself! A lot of us can relate to the experience of rubbing our feet together like crickets when we're comfy. So get yourself your favourite blanket and curl up in bed with some music.

Affirmations: they work. Write some down in a notebook, decorate the page with stickers, or listen to an affirmation audio from YouTube. If you have the confidence, you can even say them out loud.

Getting yourself gifts: your favourite flowers, a snack you really enjoy, a video game, a skincare product, literally anything. Great thing is, you know yourself better than anyone, so your gifts will almost always be well received.

A self-portrait: get creative. Choose your favourite art medium, whether it be oil pastels, watercolour or even photography. It's a good exercise to appreciate the little details of your body, and how it works together to create a living being.

Speaking of your body, take care of it. It may not instantly make you feel better, but lifestyle choices like diet and exercise make a massive impact on your mental health in the long run. So eat those whole foods, drink your water and do some light exercise like yoga or going on a walk.

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No relationship is perfect, and it doesn't have to be! You're allowed to be angry or frustrated with yourself, but a lot of what I've experienced is just needless hatred, and we need to fix that. That's all! Bye, Lovies!

[egg-emperor]

Eggman is a CARTOON. He doesn't exist in reality. Anyone who is actually sexually attracted to cartoon is pathetic , cringe and needs serious mental health services. Kinks deserve to be shamed.

I like sonic for the gameplay and lore, I'm not pathetic enough to be sexually attracted to cartoons. People like you are the reason why I hate the fandom,always thirsting over ink and polygons, the furries , and the weirdoes making cringe ships. Like how pathetic do you have to be to be legitimately sexually attracted to a cartoon, especially some of which aren't even human (and are underage) ?

The closest real life equivalent to Eggman would be the dictator of north korea cross-bred with Elon Musk. Would you really be willing to date/fuck such a manchild?

this is a funny troll or experiment or whatever that you've been trying lol. I can tell it there isn't genuine serious feeling in it but it's just entertaining when you're this secure and comfortable with yourself. plus I get to say something funny and possibly inspire others not to care if they get asks like this- and I can just stop answering when I get bored :P

one of the things that makes me so comfortable and secure in myself is because I'm in touch with reality. I'm aware of what's real and what's not and what matters and doesn't. funnily enough, some of what you're saying would mean you can't, if you were being serious but I'm certain you're not. being in touch with reality is why I have the self awareness and self acceptance I have

I don't care about being the reason someone hates the fandom, I'm also a reason some like it and that's what I focus on. I also don't care about being shamed for weirdo shit like shipping and kink. unless I'm causing genuine harm it doesn't matter :P I'd rather be hated and happy than liked and miserable. I don't need people's approval and permission to follow my passions and be happy

Eggman is a problematic evil fucked up manchild but I find that entertaining and he's extremely sexy because he's a fictional character that causes no real life harm and he's very handsome and suits my type in real life appearance wise and certain more positive aspects of his personality, as well as things I enjoy and endorse only in fiction and fantasies. the only things in common he has with real people I'm attracted to is that he's an old man and passionate and charming lol

fiction is fun and allows you to explore things that make you feel many ways and explore subjects you never could or should in real life and explore the minds of characters different to you. it's great to be creative and imaginative. it's good to fantasize and feel pleasure, it's not a shameful thing and if conservatives and puritans or anyone else who is ashamed want to deprive themselves of those joys and pleasures in life they can but they're not gonna succeed in making me do the same

I love this sexy fucked up problematic evil dictator manchild, I'm gonna keep talking about fucking and sucking him and vice versa and you can't stop me >:)

[violynxmaeve]

Caitlyn kiramman, protective gf! Hc’s<3

[i wanna make this about insecure reader, or that you struggle mentally, i guess I’m making this for my own comfort and i hope you guys are okay with that, if you ever need any help then please reach out, you are not and will never be alone, love you - maeve <3]

She makes sure EVERYONE knows you are hers or that you are taken, if you two are out together she is not afraid to make it clear that you are with her no matter what, even at important events you are staying with her, she wants you to know and understand that she is with you no matter what.

If you are having a particularly bad mental health day, she will know immediately by the slight absence in your eyes, and how ‘slow’ you are in the mornings and will try and stay by your side the whole day but will give you A LOT of affection.

“Darling you can stay in bed, don’t push yourself, i know you’re struggling, it’s gonna be okay. Call me if you need anything, okay?”

Anytime she has a break from work she will come and see you at your own job or at home, no matter where you are she will come and see you and give you a hug.

Physical affection is something she will always love, even if it’s by her giving you a hug or if you come and hug her randomly, it makes her so happy.

She does not get insecure about loving you or if you love her, she knows you do but if someone tries to flirt or talk with you in a ‘affectionate’ manner she will say to you how she feels and politely excuse you from the conversation.

“Darling i think it’s time for us to leave, don’t you agree?”

She makes it very clear on how she’s feeling, whether its about work or about how much she cares and loves you, she tells you, every. Single. Day.

She knows when you think too much or if you’re worrying about something and will wrap her hands around you and kiss your neck before asking politely whats wrong but its with authority, making it clear you can tell her.

“Sweetheart, whats going on inside that head of yours?”

If you’re going out on your own and say you will be back in an hour and you come 30 minutes or so later than you said she will stand at the front door with her eyebrows furrowed and her arms crossed, worrying about you, not that she doesn’t think your a capable person she just knows the dangers lurking, even after the war.

You are her home and comfort so if anything happens to you she goes a little insane.

Caitlyn tries to finish her work as quickly as possible so she isn’t home too late, she loves helping you get to sleep, or wind down for the night, its her therapy, reminding her that you are everything to her, no matter what.

If you two ever argue she will excuse herself, or will shut her mouth after a while and let you rant and yell at her.

After the argument she will give you space but if you try and ignore her whilst in bed getting ready to sleep she will pull you into her chest or onto her lap and make it clear she isn’t going anywhere but you both need to get over this.

“Honey i love you, and you know this but I’m not going to sit here and allow you to ignore me, so be a good girl and tell me what you need me to do to help you, mkay?”

She isn’t opposed to you being bratty or in a mood but if you push her a little too far she will have to say something, even if you are in your own little world.

“What’s going on with you today, love? Has someone said something to you or are you being like this for fun.”

Never talk bad about yourself, or well if you do she will give you a furrowed brow and a slight glare before pulling you into her embrace and telling you how much she cares and loves you, no matter what you look like or how you feel.

She honestly just loves you, a lot.

[nekrosmos]

.

[atoriv-art]

older designs for my specialest guy

[takiki16]

erm is it too late for old guard soccer questions? Nicky is into Italy as every proper Italian should be but well .... which club is his favorite you think 👀

DIFFICULT QUESTIONS, DIFFICULT QUESTIONS. Serie A fans, Italians, residents of the lovely city of Genoa, I am asking you to pitch in here bc I am pulling things out of my ass!

I don't know if Luca Marinelli has a club he supports; he was born in Rome, but I don't want to assume Roma or Lazio just because of that! It's maybe a little more reasonable to assume Genoa CFC or Sampdoria for Nicolo, since he predates the literal country of Italy and might be more likely to have region-specific loyalties, but I also don't know anything about those clubs and their history! For all I know, Nicolo Di Genova supports a massively obscure Serie D club that hasn't existed since the 1960s and bitterly hates all other clubs for being Flashy and Modern and having bad ownership, I don't know!

(also sorry to any Juventus girlies out there, I truly cannot see Nicky as a Juve fan I just can't. I feel like he would be a bit of a snobby hipster about Juve's popularity and its marketing outside Serie A for some reason).

JOE was absolutely on his knees in front of the screen crying and yelling during 2022 Morocco WC run. Some things are just beautiful, you know?

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

[famewolf]

for so long all I wanted to do was die but now that I'm older, all I worry about is dying too soon. too soon to experience all the things I didn't give myself time for when I was young. I don't want to spend these years overthinking what time I have left

[thestrangestwatermelonofall]

i will never forget the time I was hanging out with two other people who were new friends and they were like "let's do a sonic fandub" and one of them started looking up sonic game footage on youtube for us to dub while we discussed who would speak for who and we decided I'd voice tails. But also I knew nothing about sonic at the time, i'd only seen the snapcube fandubs because I'd heard they were good and funny, I didn't know the plot or characters very well. I couldn't remember what they sounded like so while the other two started to say silly things in sonic and amy's voices I asked "what does tails sound like again?" And I was laughing because I was embarrassed and also shocked by how quickly they had started commiting to the bit of trying to do some voice acting and my friend just said "he sounds like a twink" and I could not stop laughing and I could not take the idea seriously and I just told them that I couldn't do the voice oops. And so we moved onto a different topic pretty quickly and just enjoyed the pizza we had while we waited for our other three friends to get back from the store

anyways all of this is to say that Tails is NOT a twink, he is an 8 year old little boy and my friend was misguided.

[cetoddle]

am i allowed to be suicidal on main. or do i have to be silly cute girl. is that the only time im bearable to others

[heartbreakfeelsogood]

[yuribalisms]

I need to uproot my entire life and start from scratch or I’m gonna go insane

[whimsyprinx]

i don’t think I’m like actually allowed to be happy or that I even know how to be anymore

[violetsandshrikes]

I met a girl when I was fresh out of high school in undergrad who frankly, annoyed me quite a bit, but I also had an inkling to continue to be compassionate to her given a few things about her life/background/family

I ran into her two years ago. Last week, her daughter turned 1. This girl, let’s called her “P”, is a really good example of why I never feel comfortable mocking trad wives

Her perfect trad husband, who was a shining young figure in the local religious community, volunteered in all sorts of groups, well loved in his workplace and everything else, beat her up at 1 month post-partum. I reached out to her after seeing her desperately asking for a stroller on a page, confused and slightly concerned knowing both of them came from wealthy backgrounds.

The reality for lots of tradwives living “perfect lives” is this: P was immediately ostracised. All the wealth of her husband and her family meant absolutely nothing if she wasn’t in favour and doing what she was told. Her child and her well-being didn’t matter. P, at 25 years old, was basically deemed an oopsie, and left on her own to figure out how to pay for herself, a baby, find housing, and every other task you can think of.

Having known many of these women (and supported many of these women), another factor most people don’t consider is this: they are intentionally raised to be helpless. When I immediately offered my support to P, she really needed it. This young woman needed to be guided through how to apply for government assistance, how to weigh up rentals and apply for them, how to apply for jobs, how to sign up for childcare. How to sign up for your own power and internet, and how to connect them.

It wasn’t that she was “stupid”, or incapable, or spoiled. While it looks like they’re being sheltered, in reality, these women are practically being held hostage. Sure, they might be allowed to learn things that are expected of them (see: basic cooking, baking, cleaning, child rearing, women’s bible studies, hosting, and so forth) but they are heavily controlled from family life into marriage life, and they are never given the opportunity or the reality of what many of us would consider basic adult tasks.

She’s doing okay now. Her daughter turned 1, is happy and healthy. They live frugally, but they have a roof over their heads and the essentials. I often babysit for her so she can attend counselling, or go to a woman’s support group. She is painfully aware that she has so much to learn about how to live as an adult.

I don’t envy tradwives, but I don’t find any joy in mocking them either. Even when they live the most picturesque lives, they’re also practically living a real life Jenga game. If (and often, when) it comes tumbling down, they’re screwed too, and they often have 0 skills to help themselves or find community (that again, isn’t carefully curated).