#I feel like no matter what I will never be allowed to be happy

[koeniginderskizzen]

I forgot if I ever reblogged this or not but I'm reblogging it now as an excuse to talk about how much I need this to happen in someway in Chapter 3 or 4. It's basically my biggest wish for the upcoming chapters.

I'm in the camp of "Ralsei isn't Evil, he's just weird like that/ thinks it's all for the greater good if anything".

To recab a little, Ralsei has been alone his entire life as far as we know, so he isn't that well adjusted on how to act in social situations. His go to method of comforting is distracting from the bad stuff, or not mentioning bad stuff at all, which could very likely be because he doesn't really know how to handle it and just thinks "positivity=good, so better avoid negativity because that would cause distress, which is bad"

We also know that the legend, and the supposed purpose of darkners was kinda his life guideline, so to say. Ralsei thinks that his purpose is the legend and to serve the lightners, and he doesn't want to go against it. Be it because of Roaring, some other hidden thing/ plan we don't know of yet, or because he never knew anything else. What's important is: in Chapter 2 Susie began to challenge that mindest a little.

In the SweetCap'nCakes battle, Ralsei firstly insists that Kris, or us, is the only one who is allowed to act, maybe because it gives us a unique, irreplacable role, which could make us happy, but Susie forces him to learn R-Action anyway. When alone with us, Ralsei says that he learned from Susie that being yourself can be enough to be a friend but then adds that he doesn't actually know who he is as a person.

Which is why Kris being revealed to Ralsei as the person who made the fountain would be such a huge next step!

Now Ralsei actually is confronted with a situation where one of the people he trusted, and especially someone he is supposed to serve and be kind to no matter what, goes directly against his wishes. What is he supposed to do now? He could just put his feelings under a rug, and I Imagine he might even do that at first, but the important thing is that he has to deal with that conflict of being angry at Kris, but also having to stay supportive, which could even culminate in him expressing that disappointment, and defining himself as his own person who's feelings matter, and who isn't just a servant, even more.

I really need this for him.

I Imagine the legend and the roaring is in some way linked to the player, and if Ralsei learns to become his own person throughout the game, that could even lead to him potentially choosing to abandon the legend for the sake of his friends.

Or he won't, the important thing to me is, that the choice will be his own (because I love Ralsei as a character)

chapter 3 probably

[figthoughts]

How do you think SB and Dean would react to reader safewording? I have some sort of idea for Dean, but with SB? Very mixed tbh

omg i have many thoughts !! allow me to ramble thank u ! (soldier boy’s part is a little ehhhh, just read with caution if ur sensitive to dubcon type scenarios!) 18+ ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ

— dean winchester ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

dean loves sex. he’s made that abundantly clear throughout your relationship. anytime he can get his hands on you, he will. and so naturally, you’ve spent time learning each other’s bodies, kinks, likes ‘n dislikes and everything in between. you’re entirely comfortable together.

so one day when you suddenly blurt out your safe word, dean pauses, his eyes flickering up to meet yours — to check in with you.

“baby, you okay? you wanna stop?” his words are gentle and full of love, concern splashed across his features.

his face softens while he nods along to your quiet explanation, pulling out/away from whatever he’d been doing to you. he settles down beside you, watching you as if you’re about to shatter into a million pieces.

“s’okay, sweetheart. we can stop. you don’t need an excuse. if you’re not feeling up to it, it’s not a big deal. we can just cuddle if you want,” he shrugs with a reassuring expression on his face, “you look like you need a hug, yeah? c’mere.”

dean opens his arms for you, letting you crawl against his chest. he nuzzles his chin into the top of your head, holding you snug against him, his hand rubbing down your back in a soothing motion.

“thank you for letting me know, baby,” he murmurs against your hair, leaving a soft kiss. he’s just happy you feel safe enough to ask him to stop whenever you need.

— soldier boy [ben] ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

i can’t decide between two ideas, so i’m giving you both !!

ben—your ben—the world’s strongest man who, simultaneously, is the world’s softest man the second he’s got his sweet little lady between his sheets.

there’s no denying he fucks like a pornstar on speed. it’s sometimes frightening how long he can keep at it — fucking you until you’re spent and boneless, blissed out and overstimulated from your umpteenth orgasm. he loves when you’re unable to form words, just soft incoherent babbles that force a grin to spread across his face as he plows into you with a superhuman force.

he loves going over the top to please you. and so it’s no surprise when you mumble out your safe word through warm salty tears, tired and unable to take any more of what he’s giving you. he slows down, meeting your gaze with his own. “what’s the matter? had enough, my pretty lady?”

ben knows sex with him can be a lot, and considering you’re just a sweet little doll, he knows it’s up to you to call it when you’ve had enough — cause if it were up to ben, you’d never leave his damn bed.

your mumbled pleas earn a nod in return from ben, “alright, babygirl. s’not a problem. here—” he pulls himself away from you, “i’ll run you a bath, yeah?”

you watch him get up and start heading to the bathroom, but not before he turns around, throwing you a cheeky wink, “i think that might’ve been a new record for ya, doll.”

alternatively… ✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .

ben’s rough. he’s rough around the edges. you know it. he knows it. everyone he’s ever met knows it. but he doesn’t just look rough or talk rough — he fucks rough.

you’re no stranger to the supe and how he bends you in half, like he’s unafraid of breaking you with his strength and brute force. for the most part, you take it like a good little thing, letting him break you down into nothing, but a whimpering little mess below him. and he loves it, ruining women while he doesn’t even break a sweat.

so when he mentions going a little further—adding a few new things to your nightly affairs—you agree, but only with the clear understanding that you get a safe word.

and ben agrees. i mean, anything to get his babydoll back into his bed, right?

so when he’s got you in half, your limbs flailing around in the air, pleading for him to stop, he simply doesn’t. he knows you know your safe word, and he hasn’t heard it leave your sweet little mouth yet. so he continues on, tiring out your sore body beyond belief — he’s really getting his kicks from seeing you all fucked out and begging like your life depends on it.

“look at you, damn slut. you like this, don’t you?” he grunts out, watching you sob and try to free yourself from his restraints. your eyes are filled to the brim with tears, your emotions clear on your face. he loves that you’re taking it for him — being a good ol’ little thing for him.

so it’s much to his surprise when you sob out your safe word. he’s a little bewildered to say the least. his brows pinch together, but he doesn’t slow down, not one bit.

his thrusts get harder, his eyes locked on your pleading little face. “just give me a damn minute. i’m close,” he mutters, his breath a little laboured, as if seeing you like this is the driving factor pushing him to the edge.

it doesn’t take long for him to finish, and when he does, he’s panting with the stupidest grin on his face. he slumps down on top of you, invading your space, “jesus, that was fuckin’ something, hey? you liked that, my sweet little thing?”

all you can do is sniffle and try to catch your breath while his weight crushes you. he presses a kiss to your cheek and he hears your breath hitch. and he knows he’s got you exactly where he wants — in the palm of his fucking hand.

A/N: this was soooo fun to type up !!! i love scenario requests sm (feel free to send me more) !!!!!! also first time writing something a lil darker w the dubcon part !!! what do we thinkkkkk? <3

feedback and reblogs are appreciated! thank uuu!

✩ taglist cause why not: @chevroletdean @fitxgrld @jasvtsc @bluestrd @1-imbroglio @titsout4jackles @faithfulsofi @tortureddarkstar @abellmunsonmovie @legalmente-loca @theoneandonlystonedspiderman420 @manicjk @aileenunfiltered @minettacreekk @jackleslvr @winchester-whiskey @emeraldcrs @freyabear @floralscented @cosmopolitan-thedrink @jwritestuff @suhnisideup @spookyysinsanity @kimxwinchester @bleuatlas @deansbbyx @angelicjackles @deansbeer @artemys-ackles @bluemerakis @misatxox @star-yawnznn @ambiguous-avery @sl33pylilbunny @k-slla @deanswidow @psychicnatural @ghostlyaccurate

↑ comment to be added!

[loveandleases]

Happy New Year, Lea!🎉

A bit late for the Chris Suffering™️ hours request, but I hope Chris had the New Year's they deserve 😇😈

Like feeling alone in a sea of people at the Clarke family party thinking about all the plans for the next year they ruined. Or making excuses to stay late at the office, looking at their old photos & videos of MC or lurking MC's socials envious of the fun time they're having 😘💩

Happy New Year, Erin!!!! ✨✨✨ Oh it's never too late for that. Down below ~

Chris huffs, their thumb dragging lazily across the screen of their phone. Another hour wasted listening to some overly ambitious sycophant drone on and on about a business proposal.

Useless, of course. Just another person wasting time on kissing their ass in hopes of rubbing elbows with their father. If their father wasn't in the room, Chris wouldn't bother pretending to care.

This was the first New Year's Eve in years that Chris had shown up alone. You weren't on their arm, no easy banter to distract from the myriad of questions they couldn't avoid. Jade could've come, but even the thought of her at their side felt... wrong. Besides, Chris' parents wouldn't have allowed it.

"They're under the weather." Chris lied smoothly whenever someone asked about you. "I'll pass along your regards." A well-practiced excuse, easier than admitting the truth—you were gone.

It had only been a week since the breakup, and already Chris could imagine the incessant questions their parents would ask. The truth lingered like an uncomfortable itch: Jade had filled a space, but not the one that mattered. Not the one you had left behind.

They could go home, drink that expensive champagne stashed away for the wedding, pop the cork, and down their day. However, what awaited them were rumpled sheets and a pair of chewed-up penny loafers, courtesy of the sulking fluffball in the corner.

Their phone buzzes in their hand, pulling them from their thoughts. A notification flashes across the screen: Your Year in Review.

They hesitated. It wasn't like they were paying attention to the person prattling on. With a flick of their finger, they opened the notification, and the slideshow began.

A strange sensation coursed through Chris, one they couldn't quite place. Surely, it was their mother's punch earlier that had left them off-balance.

Photo after photo stared back at them—smiling faces, laughter frozen in time. You leaning against them, your head thrown back, eyes lit with joy they hadn't seen in... how long? An engagement photo, the ring catching the light just right.

Chris swallowed hard, their throat tight. Their thumb twitched, but they couldn't swipe away, couldn't stop the memories from washing over them.

The smiles then weren't as practiced, weren't as forced. Not like the one they shoot their mother as she presses a hand to their shoulder.

"Chris, what are you doing? You know now is not the time to be taking a break. You need to mingle. Now is the best time to rub elbows when they're half drunk and loose with their wallets."

"In a minute," Chris replies, brushing her hand away without even looking up. The words come out smooth, detached, practiced—just like the smile they forced onto their face whenever anyone approached.

Their mother’s presence lingered for a moment longer before she clicked her tongue and moved on. Chris exhaled shakily, their eyes flicking back to the phone.

The slideshow was relentless, each photo more damning than the last. Your laugh. The way you'd looked at Chris, trust and love shining in your eyes. That warmth twisted something deep in Chris' chest, a sensation they couldn't shake.

Jade had tried. She’d promised “a night to remember,” but as far as Chris was concerned, she had already given them one that they're still paying for. The thought of her there, that insincere smile and hollow charm, made Chris feel cold.

They were supposed to have it all. The success. The prestige. The partner. But the truth, raw and undeniable, was that none of it mattered without...

Chris tightened their grip on the phone as the slideshow ended. The screen went dark, leaving them staring at their reflection in the glossy black. They barely recognized the person staring back.

The party swirled around them, laughter and music blending into a cacophony of reminders of what they’d lost. Chris straightened their tie, fixing a mask of confidence onto their face.

Let them believe everything was fine. Let them think Chris Clarke still had it all.

But no matter how much they drank, no matter how many smiles they faked, no matter how many nights Jade clung to them in bed, whispering promises against their skin—promises that this fucked-up relationship was worth it, that it would all be worth it—none of it could fill the void.

When the kisses faded, when the night grew still, and the weight of it all settled in, that emptiness wouldn’t go away.

The void left behind, that emptiness—it looked too much like you.

[sigilslvt]

Until The End • Suguru Geto

☣︎ Summary: Suguru Geto. The name that used to give you butterflies and come wrapped in nothing but sunshine now only makes you feel a deep void in your heart. Three years ago, your high school sweetheart defected. He gave no warning, offered up no signs of his emotional state, he simply... left. What will you do now when he shows up after all this time?

Pairing: Suguru Geto x Fem Reader

Tags: fem! sorceress reader, ex boyfriend! suguru, angst, pre and post jjk0, mentions of murder, smut, oral sex (f receiving), p in v, creampie, whiney geto, stalking, heartbreak, pregnancy, death

WC: 6.6k

A/N: hehe, i know i said happiness would come soon, but the mood struck, so ANGST! feel free to send suggestions for a happy fic, though!

The wind stirs through the sprawling campus of Tokyo Jujutsu High, carrying the soft scent of rain on the horizon. It’s spring, your favorite season. You’ve always loved the way rain kisses the apples of your cheeks when you look to the sky to see the pillowy clouds just before a storm starts. You’re sitting on the steps outside the training hall, your knees tucked up to your chest. It’s quiet—a rare, fleeting moment of peace. The faint hum of distant voices from other students training filters through the air, but it feels like a world away. From behind you comes a familiar voice, warm and teasing, breaking the spell of solitude.

 Your favorite voice.

“Spacing out again?”

You turn your head, a grin already forming. Your beautiful boy is approaching, his hands casually shoved into his uniform pockets, that usual spark of mischief glinting in his beautiful purple eyes. His presence feels like sunlight breaking through the clouds, and you can’t help the way your heart leaps. He’s a comfort you never knew you needed until he walked into your life. His hair, tied neatly in its usual ponytail, catches the light, and for a moment, you’re reminded of how effortlessly radiant he is. He saunters over, his movements unhurried, and settles down beside you as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. Because it is. It’s so natural to just gravitate toward each other at this point and you love it. He loves it. He feels like he belongs, truly belongs when he’s with you.

“I was just thinking,” you reply, your voice soft. He leans closer, tilting his head in that way he always does when he’s truly listening. It’s one of the things you’ve always loved about him— how present he is, even in the smallest moments. His head rests on yours, making your body feel all warm and tingly inside. The faint smell of his cologne, a subtle mix of cedarwood and something floral, lingers in the air between you, grounding you in the moment.

“About what?”

You hesitate, glancing down at your hands, the delicate scars lining your fingers feel more pronounced under his gaze, like they’re a testament to the battles you’ve fought and the fears you’ve buried so young. “About the future. What comes after all of this. After Jujutsu High. Our lives are just gonna consist of curses, curses, and more curses.”

“And each other.” He interrupts.

“You know what I mean.”

He hums thoughtfully, the sound low and soothing. “You’re not thinking of quitting, are you?”

“No,” you say quickly. “It’s just... hard to imagine what life will look like. Fighting curses, protecting people who will never even know our names. Sometimes it feels endless.”

Suguru is quiet for a moment, his gaze fixed on the horizon. The sky above is streaked with shades of orange and pink as the sun dips lower, casting long shadows across the courtyard. Then he reaches over, his fingers brushing against yours. The touch is light, tentative, but it’s enough to send warmth blooming through your chest. It’s… testing. To see if his normally strong and steadfast girlfriend will allow him to comfort her. You relent, intertwining your fingers with his and he squeezes your hand.

“You’re not alone in this,” he says, his voice steady. “No matter what, we’ll figure it out together. I’ll be with you until the end”

You look at him, your breath catching. There’s something unspoken in his eyes, something deeper than words. It’s in the way he looks at you, the way he always seems to know what you need to hear. In that moment, the uncertainty that’s been gnawing at you fades, replaced by a quiet, steadfast hope. You believe that as long as he’s by your side, you’ll be able to face whatever comes next.

He smiles then, his thumb grazing the back of your hand. “I’ll love you until the end, you know,” he says, almost teasing, but the words land heavier than you expect. You laugh softly, brushing it off, but a part of you holds onto them, tucking them away in the deepest corners of your heart.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

Three years later, that hope feels like a distant memory. Especially now.

You stand frozen in the doorway of your apartment, staring at the man who had disappeared without a trace. Suguru Geto. His name feels foreign now, like a ghost of the boy you once knew. He looks older, sharper, his features etched with a hardness that wasn’t there before. Worn by the hatred for non-sorcerers. His dark hair is longer now, loose and falling over his shoulders, and he sports a gojogesa rather than his usual black t-shirt and sweats. But his eyes— those same amethyst eyes that once held so much warmth are fixed on you with an intensity that makes your chest ache.

He’s standing there so casually. As though he never left. As though he hadn’t broken your heart and left you to pick up the pieces. “I need you,” he says, his voice low and urgent. It’s the first thing he’s said to you in three years, and it cuts through you like a blade. The weight of his words crashes over you, dredging up emotions you thought you’d buried: anger, longing, confusion, and an unbearable grief.

Your fists clench at your sides. “You need me?” you echo, your voice trembling with anger. “You left without a word, Suguru. No explanation, no goodbye. You killed over a hundred people and then killed your parents. You said goodbye to Shoko and Geto. And now you just show up and expect me to—”

“I couldn’t break up with you,” he interrupts, his tone desperate. He takes a step closer, and the faint scent of him—still cedarwood but now tinged with something darker, heavier—invades your senses.

“That’s why I didn’t tell you. I couldn’t tell you how I was feeling because I didn’t want to let you go and I knew we wouldn’t be on the same path from then on. I told myself that if I didn’t end it, then… then we would still be together. Still be okay.”

Your breath catches, your heart pounding in your ears. “So what? You didn’t want to give me a chance to change your perspective!? To steer you in the right direction? You thought leaving without a trace was a good option? Do you have any idea what that did to me!?”

He flinches, guilt flickering across his face. But there’s something else there too, something darker. “I couldn’t stay,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “Not with the way the world is. Not with the way sorcerers are treated. I had to do something.”

“Defecting was the answer?” you demand, your voice rising. “Turning your back on everything we fought for?”

“It’s more complicated than that,” he says, his tone sharp. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Then make me understand,” you plead, your voice breaking. “Tell me why you chose this path. Tell me why you left me.”

For a moment, he says nothing, his gaze dropping to the floor. The tension between you is suffocating, the silence heavy with unspoken truths. Then he steps even closer, his hand reaching for yours. You don’t pull away, even as your heart twists painfully in your chest. Even as every atom that makes up your body tells you to.

“I left you because I loved you,” he says, his voice raw. “I knew that if I stayed, I couldn’t protect you or create the world you deserved. I didn’t want you to get caught up in my choices until I was sure I could do it. I hoped that you could see that all of it— all of this was… ” he trails off for a moment, seemingly rerouting his brain. “Do you remember that one day in spring? When you wondered about what life would be like after high school?” he asks.

“What about it?”

“I helped you through it by telling you what you wanted to hear, but… but really I was happy that you were questioning things, too. Because ever since Amanai… since Toji… I realized that we were just slaves to those who will always see us as dirt on their shoes without knowing all that we sacrifice for them. I saw the look on your face and I knew then that I couldn’t keep fostering a world where that’s all that we know. Where our kids would know. I found a better way. This is the better way. The only way for us to live happily and free from the shackles of being a jujutsu sorcerer. We can live for ourselves, not for the weak. No more fighting. No more loss.” he explains desperately.

The sincerity in his voice is like a knife to your heart. You want to hate him for all he’s done, to push him away, but the love you still feel for him won’t let you. It’s a cruel, unrelenting thing, binding you to him even after everything. That bond solidified by the knowledge that even though he did things in a sick and twisted way, he meant good. He wanted to make the world a better place. For you. Always for you.

And while you’re trapped in your thoughts, he brings your knuckles to his lips, breaking you from them in the way he always used to do. Your gaze softens and you take him all in while he’s in this state. For a second, he looks once again like the boy you fell in love with. Soft. Caring. Strong. But you can’t let go of the fact that he isn’t him anymore. Not fully. And you resent him for taking that boy from you. “I hate you.” you spit, an obvious lie.

“I love you.” he replies.

“You should go.”

“I know.”

And yet neither of you move. Not for a few moments. And it’s thanks to those few, uninterrupted moments that he has the time to work up the courage to press himself to you, bringing your hands up around his neck. He’s so close you can feel his breathing on your forehead, but you don’t look all the way up into his eyes, afraid you’ll wake up from a dream if you do.

“I need you.” he echoes the first words he said to you in three years.

And just like that… you’re done for.

You finally look up, gaze landing on his, the expression on his face full of the very need he claims to feel. When your eyes soften the way they always used to for him after a silly argument, he knows… he knows you need him, too. His lips mash into yours and the kiss is desperate, teeth against teeth, swallowed breaths, and strained grunts as he closes the door to your apartment behind you, placing his palm on it to protect your head before slamming you against it.

He breaks the kiss to look at you. Really look at you… and all he can think is that you look so much more beautiful up close. Three years of watching you from afar, of keeping tabs on you without getting caught did nothing for him the way seeing you right here in front of him did. You look tired. So tired. He hates seeing you like this. Knowing you slave your life away for weak people, spending every day putting your happiness— your life on the line.

He’s ripped from his thoughts when you stand on your tippy toes to nuzzle your nose against him. “I’m right here.” you murmur, seemingly reading his mind. He nods, kissing you again, but this time it’s slower. Passionate. Loving and loving mixing together to make you both drunk on each other.

Strong arms lift you, bringing your thighs to wrap around his waist while he takes you to your bedroom, your mind too focused on how your boy is now a man— a strong, beautiful man, for you to question why it is that he knows the layout of your home down to the laundry basket even you bump into that’s in the hallway just in front of your bedroom door.

He places you on the bed gently, standing to look at you again. “Stay.” you breathe, unsure of whether or not he was thinking of leaving, but speaking anyways. He smiles as though he’s lost another silly decision about where to eat again like when you were younger and your heart flutters. He’s utterly helpless against you.

You watch as his fingers move to undo his gojogesa, letting the top half fall off his broad shoulders and hang off his waist before bending to hover over you. “I couldn’t leave even if I tried.” he murmurs, pressing kisses from your lips to your cheek, then your jawline, and finally your neck where he bites down gently, sucking a mark into the soft flesh that joins your neck to your shoulder.

You use the opportunity to lift your hips and slide down your leggings, but he stops you before you can get them too far, shaking his head. “Please let me take my time. I need this… to savor this.” He pleads, knocking the breath from your lungs with the look on his face. He’s so beautifully pained that all you can do is nod.

His fingers replace yours, hooking into the waistband of both your leggings and underwear and slowly pulling them down while he kisses your belly… your hips… your mound… and finally they’re off and your cunt is laid bare before him. He doesn’t rush to it though, no, he instead moves back up your body to kiss you again, hands splaying out on either side of your stomach, gripping at whatever fat he can get as his tongue invades your mouth, tasting you— the sweetest thing he’s ever known.

He only breaks the kiss to remove your shirt from your body, pleased to find that you’re not wearing a bra. His head dips into the crook of your neck and he swipes his tongue on it, his hands pinning and brushing up, up, up your arms until his fingers intertwine with yours. It’s a grounding gesture, one meant to keep you in place and him in this moment.

“Tell me you still love me…” he breathes and you can’t believe he even wonders. As though you not turning him away or capturing him and calling Satoru wasn’t enough. He really was still the boy who always needed reassurance behind closed doors.

“I’ll love you until the end.” you echo the words he once told you three years ago. He smiles at the memory, taking in your smell before moving to pepper lingering kisses along your collarbone, your chests, and finally your breasts. He places one of your hands in the other so he can hold them with only one of his own, opting to knead at one of your breasts while his mouth tends to the other.

Thumbing the hardening pebble with one hand, his mouth works on the other, tongue swirling around your nipple before he sucks with enough pressure that has your back arching up into him, cunt beginning to just weep onto your bed. He chuckles at the shaky moan you release, his warm breath ghosting on your now cold nipple and making your body jerk.

He doesn’t linger there long, moving down to kiss your mound and finally releasing your hands, his hands sliding down your body and instead finding purchase on your breasts before he’s slotting his head between your thighs, kissing the insides of them sweetly. “You’re a vision of perfection, y’know that?” he coos, making your cheeks burn up.

You’re not given a chance to respond before he’s pulling a gasp from your lips by kissing your clit like he’s hit a bullseye. Your thighs jerk on either side of his head and he chuckles, swiping his long tongue up from your quivering hole to your clit, kissing it again for good measure.

“Sugu…” you whine, a pout forming on your face to complete the look of pure need that has his eyes nearly rolling back in his head. In these years, he’s imagined what you’d look like underneath him countless times. Imagination was nothing compared to the real thing. Fucking his fist pales in comparison to the pleasure he gets from simply kissing your pillowy lips.

You couldn’t possibly be more thankful when he finally begins to glide his tongue between your folds more eagerly, fingers pinching at your nipples at the same time for the added stimulation you needed to avoid going stir-crazy while he worshipped you. He still works his tongue languidly, slow laps to savor your taste that have your gut twisting and a hand snaking down to his head, fingers tangling into his raven locks. “Fuck…” you breathe out, hips bucking into him, other hand gripping the sheets.

The more his warm tongue works against your now scorching hot cunt, the faster your breathing gets, almost in time with the flicks of his tongue against your swollen clit. You can’t bring yourself to look down, feeling his gaze sear itself onto your face without even having to. But, that won’t do for him. He sucks your clit harshly and releases it with a loud ‘pop’, lifting his head from your delectable core.

“Look at me.” he purrs, blowing onto your wet skin and causing goosebumps to rise all over your body. And with that voice, you can’t deny him, not even for a second. You drag your eyes to look down at him and the sight is none other than Godly. His mouth and chin are covered in your slick, face red and forehead beading with sweat as his chest heaves… and those fucking eyes. Those beautiful eyes are looking up at you like you’re the only thing that matters in this world.

He keeps his eyes on you as he starts to work your clit again, his hand coming down to prod his middle finger into you, your legs twitching at the intrusion. “A-Ah, Sugu, I’ve ne–”

“I know.” he interrupts. Of course he knows, you two had never done anything in high school. He wanted to marry you first, wanted to be honorable. He’s never seen you with another man aside from Gojo and he knew that’d never happen. He knew better than to waste time now, no, he wouldn’t let this chance slip away from him.

He glides his finger in and out of you slowly at first, testing the waters as he eats you out, eyes still on you to gauge your reactions. After all, you’d need lots more preparation before he could fit himself snugly inside you. He presses a second finger against your hole, pushing past the muscly ring of resistance to fit inside of you along with his middle finger. You hiss and he stills, watching as your brows knit together and you take a deep breath, blowing it out to steady yourself. “You okay, angel?” he asks.

Angel. The nickname he had blessed you with so long ago. One you’d long to hear from the shadows, at a coffee shop, or just back at Jujutsu High signaling that he’d come back. And he finally has. “Don’t stop…” you force out, not wanting to waste any time, either. The stretch is uncomfortable thanks to Sugu’s admittedly large fingers, but you’ve fought curses since you were thirteen, you can handle pain. Especially if he’s the one to deliver it to you.

The look of pride on his face is so glaringly obvious as he smiles against your sodden cunt, beginning to pump his thick digits into you again, pulling a lascivious moan from your lips that he swears is an angel’s song. But with the way he begins plundering his fingers into you as a reaction, you’d think you’d have moaned a siren’s song instead. He’s chasing more of them, more moans, more slick, more beautiful twitches of your brow when he hits that spot.

And he gets it all. You writhe and wriggle beneath him while he eats you out and pumps you full of his digits again and again. He pulls back to watch your cunt greedily swallow his fingers up and he almost chokes, the muscle clinging so tightly that it comes in and out with his fingers, pulling him back in every time he pulls out.

With that, he’s attached to your clit again, sucking and swirling his tongue around it with a hunger that has you seeing stars. The knot that’d formed in your stomach is now tightening to a point where you feel it might just snap and with just one low, gravelly, pussydrunk moan from him– it does. Your hips buck and you’re turning your head to the side, eyes squeezed shut as you grip his locks, keeping him against your pussy while you just cum, cum, cum, all over his fingers as he works you through your orgasm with quick flicks and sucks on your clit before he slows to a stop.

You will yourself to look back down at him, chest heaving as you catch him pulling his fingers out to suck your slick from his fingers, his eyes rolling back into his head while he literally growls at the taste. And if you thought he was pussydrunk before, you were sorely mistaken. Pussydrunk becomes pussy crazed and he stands, undoing the rest of his gojogesa to let it fall to his feet, stepping out of it and slowly approaching you. Your eyes fall from his own down to where his need for you is strongest and your breath hitches. 

You always knew Sugu was big, it was never a secret. You two’d never done anything before, but back then he’d practically get hard whenever you were around him. This, however, is more than just big. He’s fucking hung. You wonder if you should’ve held out on cumming so he could train you a little longer with a third finger, but that time is long gone and you know he can’t hold back any longer. You don’t want to either, but…

“You can handle it.” he snaps you from your thoughts. The words sound more like a promise than reassurance.

You tremble with anticipation, backing up further onto the bed and resting your head against your pillows as he settles himself between your thighs. He looks down on you like a predator looks at its prey– calculating and hungry. You wrap your arms around him, pulling him down into a kiss, his body moving upward so he can rest a hand on your headboard. His fat tip smacks your clit, dripping pre onto it in small beads, making you whine. It’s heavy and hot against you and you can feel it twitching when it comes into contact with your slit, accompanied by a hiss from him when he breaks the kiss. 

“Just relax for me, Angel, okay? It’ll be less uncomfortable that way.” he directs you, voice low and strained and breath ghosting against your lips. You can tell he wants this just as much, if not more, than you.

“Okay, baby…”  You say and you can hear the way his breath hitches in response, swearing he snuck a little ‘fuck’ in there.

His grip on the headboard is so tight he thinks he might just splinter it, but he knows he needs to steady himself, so he holds on anyway, promising himself to just buy you a new bed if he breaks yours. His other hand reaches down for his length, gripping the base of his shaft and sliding himself between your folds to collect your slick and make it easier for him. The contact has you both groaning and he can’t help but look into your eyes again as he positions himself at your entrance, testing the resistance with his tip.

“It’s okay, baby, give it t’me.” you reassure him.

That’s all he needs to hear before he’s sheathing the tip inside of you, causing you to suck in a sharp breath at the stretch. The second he feels your gooey, gummy walls around him, it’s game over, truly. “Sh-Shit!” he hisses out, actually breaking the headboard above you, wood pieces falling beside your head. You look up at him and can see the restraint on his face. He’s holding back for your sake.

Your hands glide up his chest and caress his face. “You got it, baby, just breathe. Breathe.” You tell him, taking slow and deep breaths again and again until he starts following your lead, calming himself down as much as possible in this situation. With your nod, he pushes in further until he’s halfway in and you’re writhing underneath him, the sheer girth of him stretching your walls thin. The hand that’d been guiding his cock now finds purchase on one of your thighs to keep you steady, trying to stop you from shying away from or fucking yourself deeper onto him.

“Almost there, Angel. I’m gonna make you feel good…” he promises you, grunting as he slowly pushes forward again. He’s thrusting in, in, in, and scraping against your gummy walls until his balls hit your ass and he’s fully sheathed inside of you, a shaky, high pitched whine falling from his lips.

You’re breathing heavily, tiny little whimpers freeing themselves from your throat between each breath, legs shaking, fingers digging crescents into his shoulders to ground you. For a few moments, all you two can do is stare at each other. In awe, in lust, in love, you stare. It’s him that breaks the silence. “Baby, if I don’t move now, I’m gonna cum. You’re squeezing so tight, I gotta loosen you up a bit.” He grunts out, pulling all the way out before gliding forward again, back home to your welcoming wet heat.

“S-Sugu… s’deep… you’re s’deep!” 

“I know, pretty girl, I know.” He coos, leaning forward to dig even deeper, still using the broken headboard for support. He pulls back for just a moment before rolling his hips forward, impossibly heavy balls smacking against your ass as you moan out, pulling him down for another kiss. You need it desperately to keep yourself from fainting at the way he feels inside of you.

You’d heard so many stories about the first time being painful and bloody and this was not that, no this pain turned to pure pleasure. Maybe you were sick for feeling like it, you don’t know.

“More, Sugu, more…” You beg, breaking the kiss and you swear you see the man leave his body for a moment before he’s kissing you deeper, making love to you harder. He rolls his hips into you with perfect precision, free hand folding one of your thighs up higher so he can aim for that spot that makes your mind go dumb.

He breaks the kiss to look at how fucked out you already look, his brows knitted, sweat dripping from them. “God, you’re s’fucking tight, Angel… I can’t st—hah stop!” He warns you, pressing more of his weight down onto you as he drills himself into your squelching cunt, your hole twitching and struggling to stay stretched around him as he churns your insides.

You’re fucked utterly stupid. He’s not even fucking you fast, just so incredibly deep and hard that he knocks the wind from you with every thrust. Between how good it feels and the lack of oxygen, you can only allow him little ah, ah, ahhs while he splits you open on his length over and over again. You can tell he’s fucking you with the intent to make you feel just how much he’s missed you. So it’s only fair that you do the same.

His lips are hovering over yours and you fist his hair roughly to bring him to you, kissing him hard, teeth gnashing together as you squeeze your sopping wet cunt tighter around him. He gifts you with a growl that ends in a whine as he picks up the pace, now removing his hand from the headboard to fold you up and stuff you so good you can’t think, can’t speak, can’t do anything but feel. Feel him. Feel his weight fully pressed onto you, now.

You can’t help but look down between you to catch a glimpse of his length disappearing into you every time he thrusts, a small but noticeable bulge poking just below your navel when he gets in nice and deep. There's a ring of slick forming around the base of his cock and dripping down his balls that makes you wanna lick it up and the way his hips stutter and then ram into you slower, deeper, and rougher when you think that makes you realize that you’d actually said that out loud. And there’s that feeling again in your core. Strong and pulsing, teetering on the edge. You’re so close.

“So fucking nasty, d’you know that? You and this pussy. M-My pussy… my pussy, baby, my pussy… say it’s mine. Say you’re mine.” He whimpers, making you tear your eyes from where the two of you are connected to look up at his face. His cheeks are red, mouth agape, brows meeting in the middle, and he’s heaving. The moment you make eye contact, he throws his head back, hips faltering again. He’s close too, you can feel it.

“I’m yours, Sugu, it’s yours… all yours! Fuck! Yes, yes, yes!” You moan in time with his thrusts before he kisses you hungrily, quickening up, but not at the cost of how deep or rough he’s delivering every precise thrust. He wants you to cum first, but you’re holding out, you wanna cum with him. You rip your kiss bitten lips from him to coax it out of him. “S’okay, baby, cum… cum in me, it’s yours…” You bite your lower lip after you speak, keeping your eyes on him, your own brows knitted in pleasure as your pussy flutters and tightens around him.

That’s all he needs to fuck into you one last time, delivering the last thrust you need to cum, too. Nails clawing down his back, cries reverberating off your bedroom walls, you’re arching up into him and he’s pulling you flush to him, up onto his thighs while his arms wrap around your back, hands reaching your shoulders and pushing you down onto his length as he stuffs his face in your neck. He groans and moans and bites into your flesh as he ruts himself into you, getting out whatever spurts of cum your nasty pussy can get from him and overstimulating you both all at once.

It takes a few minutes for you both to catch your breath and he stays buried in your neck the entire time, laying down on top of you with his cock still buried in the deepest parts of your cunt. This feels perfect. So perfect that despite all he’s done, you want to save him, still. His heartbeat is steady, a quiet reassurance that he’s still here, still alive, still yours.

In that moment, every tear you’ve shed and every sleepless night spent missing him seem to dissolve into the fact that he’s here. His touch is both familiar and foreign, a bittersweet reminder of what you’ve lost and what you still crave. The room is dimly lit by the pale moonlight dancing on both of your skin. His hands trace the contours of your body, memorizing every inch as if he’s trying to etch you into his memory. But he doesn’t have to..

“Stay,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. “Stay with me. Talk to the elders, plead your case, and maybe they’ll understand enough to give a light sentence. Please. Please, Sugu, I don’t want to lose you again.”

He presses a kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering against your skin. “I think you give the elder’s too much credit. Nevertheless, I’ll do anything— everything... for you.” he says, and there’s a heaviness in his voice that makes your chest tighten. 

You want to believe him, to hold onto the hope that he can change. And as the night passes, he shows no signs of leaving. He tells you what he’s done for the last three years aside from the cult, tells you he’s always watched you, tells you that he couldn’t stand being away from you anymore. That he was ready to come here and bring you to his side and he’s happy you’ve accepted him. It’s a peaceful night and eventually, his voice paired with his soothing touch lulls you to sleep.

When you wake the next morning, he’s gone. The space beside you is cold, and the ache in your chest is unbearable. You sit there for what feels like forever staring at the empty bed, tears streaming down your face. He’s gone and somehow you know that this time… he’s not coming back.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

Six years pass and life moves on, even though the pain doesn’t. The first two years, you disappear with the help of Gojo. You knew that if you stood and Geto came to you again, you’d break completely. You couldn’t, as you had a new reason to build a better world. A new life to protect growing inside you. When you give birth, it’s magical, but something is missing. You miss Suguru. You hope that by some miracle, he’ll come to you and raise your little girl instead of spewing all the hatred he does.

The next four years are easier. You have a support system and everyone in it helps with your daughter. Everyone loves her. You throw yourself into your work as a jujutsu sorcerer, burying the memories of Suguru beneath layers of duty and resolve for the sake of being a good mother and sorcerer, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t forget him. He lingers in the corners of your mind, a shadow you can’t escape.

Now you’re standing in the middle of a training session with first-year students when the piercing wail of alarms shatters the quiet morning. Every head snaps up, tension rippling through the air like an electric charge. You motion for the students to stay back, your instincts already kicking into overdrive. The higher-grade sorcerers are moving toward the front of the school in unison, their expressions grim. It’s Gojo’s expression that catches your eye. He’s upset— angered, even. It’s not often he shows those emotions and so you follow, your heart hammering in your chest.

When you reach the entrance, the sight awaiting you sends a chill down your spine. Suguru Geto stands at the gates of Jujutsu High, flanked by members of his cult. His presence is overwhelming, his aura darker and more oppressive than you’ve ever felt. He’s smiling, but it’s a cold, calculated thing, devoid of the warmth you once knew.

“I’m here to declare war,” he announces, his voice echoing across the courtyard. The gathered sorcerers bristle, their hands instinctively going to their weapons. “In one week… one thousand curses will be unleashed across Japan. This is the beginning of a new era.”

You step forward before you can stop yourself, breaking through the line of sorcerers in the front, your voice trembling with a mix of fury and heartbreak. “Suguru, stop this! You don’t have to do this! Please, this isn’t the way!”

His gaze lands on you, and for a moment, something flickers in his eyes—a fleeting shadow of the boy you once knew. But it’s gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by a steely resolve. You muster up the courage to say the one thing you think will reign him back in and it’s spewing from your mouth immediately. “We have a ki—”

“This is the only way,” he interrupts, his tone final. He turns his back to you, his voice ringing out one last time as he walks away. “Until we meet again.”

You’re standing there, your heart ablaze with anger and hurt. The weight of this betrayal feels heavier than ever, and yet, a small, stubborn part of you still hopes that he’ll come back. That he’ll choose you over whatever darkness has consumed him. That he’ll realize that you can both be happy being jujutsu sorcerers so long as you have each other.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

The battle a week later is chaos. The air is thick with cursed energy, the clash of sorcerers and curses echoing like thunder. You’re on the frontlines, fighting alongside your comrades, but your mind is elsewhere. When you hear the news that Suguru has been defeated by Yuta Okkotsu, your heart sinks. You don’t know what to feel—relief, sorrow, or something in between.

An hour later, you’re pulled from the battlefield by Satoru. He doesn’t explain much, simply grabbing your arm and teleporting you to an alley shrouded in shadows. Your breath catches in your throat as you see Suguru lying there, his body torn apart and blood pooling beneath him. The sight of him steals the air from your lungs.

“I thought you’d want to say goodbye,” Satoru says quietly before stepping back, giving you space.

You drop to your knees beside Suguru, your hands trembling as you reach for him. His eyes flutter open at the sound of your voice, and he smiles faintly, the edges of his lips tinged with pain. “Hey,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible.

Tears blur your vision as you cradle his face in your shaky hands. “Why?” you whisper, your voice cracking. “Why did you have to do this?”

“I told you,” he rasps, each word a struggle. “I did it for us. So we wouldn’t have to fight anymore. I thought… I thought I could make a better world for you.”

“You didn’t have to do it alone,” you say, your tears falling freely now. “We could have figured it out together. Like you promised.”

He smiles again, softer this time. “We would have died trying. And she needs at least one parent.”

“Sh—” your throat closes up. “She? You know abou—”

“O’course I do. Who d’you think was giving her those lollipops you get onto her about, hm?” He musters up a weak chuckle, blood spurting out of his mouth, staining his lips.

“You…” you trail off, not knowing what to say. Not wanting to say goodbye.

“I’ve always kept my promise, you know. I love you. Until the end.” He murmurs. You can see the light fading and you want to will him to stay, to fight harder, but you can’t. You know it’ll end like this one way or another.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I love you. I’m so sorry, baby, I— I love you, please.” You cry, closing your eyes and pressing your forehead to his. His hand brushes against yours one last time as if to reassure you before it falls limp. 

The world around you seems to still, the weight of his absence pressing down on your chest like a physical thing. You sob uncontrollably, pressing kisses to his pale face, closing his eyes, and apologizing again and again. If only you hadn't questioned your place in the world as sorcerers all those years ago, if only you’d tried harder to convince him, if only you’d captured him when he showed up to you. He’d still be alive. You don’t know how long you sit there, holding him, but when Gojo finally pulls you away, you feel like a part of you is being ripped away with him.

As you’re taken from the alley, the echo of his final words lingers in your mind. Despite everything, despite the pain and the loss, you know one thing for certain: you will always love him. Until the end.

[astralspen]

Something amazing about In Stars and Time is how it makes you feel what Siffrin feels.

And yes, when you go through Act 5 and everything breaks down that's cool.

But when Siffrin feels loved and safe, I think that's what's special. That's what makes this game and these characters so special to me.

As someone who, too, had a similar feeling of feeling unlovable for a very long time. This game really healed that part of me.

When the timeloops start, and Siffrin clings to being useful, you still feel little bits of love. Small, barely there, a little distanced, because Siffrin feels distanced. But it's still there. The party looks out for you, pays attention to you, makes stupid jokes with you.

As you go through, you feel love through Loop. Loop who despite all the teasing and bullying helps. Helps the person who they so wish they could be. The one who holds their own heart, who has the family they lost. Loop reaches out to you, reminds you, you're here, I see you. It hurts, but I see you. And I will always see you and sit with you. And I will keep you from becoming as detached as I did, whether that be by annoying you or having a heart to heart or just yapping in general.

You feel love from the head housemaiden. That cruel kind as she weeps for your situation, and crys tears you can not. As she apologizes over and over again. Euphrasies loves by showing you the painful kind of mercy, the one that stabs you in your heart and makes you want to scream, because she loves through pity. Through pitying you and your suffering. No matter how much it hurts it is love nonetheless.

And finally, in the end, after everything you've done, after everything you went through. You feel love again. This time in your face, so burning and bright that you can not ignore it, you feel loved from the very people you loved from the start. The party who runs in to save you, despite everything you said. Who tells you it's ok, you were going insane, we may be a little mad at what you said, but in the end that doesn't matter. Because we love you. And man, when they really showed the unconditional love, I was going to cry. Because a love like that, especially one with the party, is so hard to find. And it's so precious.

Finally, you see love, one more time. Twohats. The Loop fight. Loop, who is trying to kill you, Loop who is so jealous because that is the love they so wanted. They want their family back. Loop who despite everything. They still can't kill Siffrin. Siffrin, who despite being forced to fight again, who could drop dead at any moment because of his craft exhaustion, refuses to oblige Loops request. They both refuse to kill. Because they still love each other. Siffrin who pulls Loop into a hug, and apologizes. Apologizes to who they once were, the Siffrin who should've gotten this. The one who had their family and their heart stolen from them. The Siffrin who never got to feel love. He thanks who they are now, Loop. For sticking with them despite everything. Who watched Siffrin, guided them, gave them a shoulder to cry on, bantered with them so Siffrin did not lose himself. Who despite everything, still decided to help. Siffrin isn't mad at Loop, because Siffrin knows, he would do the same. Siffrin gives Loop back all the love they gave. He let's Loop move on, knowing they're loved. That they always have been. Loop accepts that their family is gone, that they loved them all the same. They learn that even with them gone, they were still loved. Loop is allowed to be happy as they leave.

And isn't that just what this game is about? That no matter what, everyone deserves to be loved. To know it too, and to be happy. And that's what healed me a bit. Because if even the King, who spent his days weeping for a kingdom long gone, who lost all his family and could not build a new one, who froze everything in time, was still able to know and remember the love he had in the end, then why can't I? Why can't anyone? If even the ones who hated and cried and destroyed everything, the ones who hid it all until they couldn't, who didn't understand their emotions and felt trapped within a construct, who didn't feel like them no matter how much they changed, then can't we, too, love and be loved?

This game shows that love does not have to be romantic, does not have to be displayed in any way, is not something earned, but is a basic right for all of us. And for that, I thank it.

[3grey-morals5]

vent(?)asf also poll at the end if u read it

am i the only one that has VERY specific interests inside of scp but also isn't very connected to the lore of said interests?

Like, first off I am extremely specific with the things I like and don't know alot of the BROAD info. For example I'm been obsessed with 035,049, and alagadda for the last 4 years or so, and newly fixated on sarkicism, but that's kinda it. Like if you asked me anything abt the mtf groups or the researchers i couldn't give you anything just bc I haven't looked into them and haven't really planned to. I know I SHOULD learn absolutely everything I can about every topic, but it's a very daunting task. Scp is huge. Am I being a fake fan or poser just because I cant understand alot of info on different aspects in scp? I want to, it's just scary.

second, even with the things I DO like (I'll use sarkicism and alagadda as an example, only because I'm somewhat happy on the knowledge I have on 035 and 049) I still don't know as much as other people into it. Am I even allowed to say I like alagadda if I haven't read all the tales and know the entire lore? Am I able to say I like sarkicism and post about it if I haven't even started reading En Memoria Adytumn(?) And get most of my info from what others say (I have read both tales - to my knowledge- containing derdekeas, so he's an exception ig). I don't want to be a fraud. I love my headcanons and making new stories out of stuff I know for my own universe, but I'm starting to think that they're moving me back in my "studies" of scp

All in all, I'm worried. I've felt like this for the whole 5 years I've been in this community, and it's never really gone away no matter how much I assure myself that it's okay to not know everything. I don't want to let anyone down or disappoint, I want to be the "ideal fan" of the scp universe that knows almost everything but I'm just not. I have barely anything to show for the time I've been obsessed with it, and it's embarrassing. Tbh i dont feel comfortable calling it a special intrest of mine anymore just bc from what ive heard, a special intrest is something youll learn anything about and are expertly versed on. I want so badly to learn everything I can, bit there's a lack of spark to do so. I think my pessimism is holding me back and I don't know how to break free. It sucks ass.

Anyways, thanks for making it this far. Just something I had to get off my chest. If you have any insights or opinions, please vote on what I should do. I think it would give me the push I need to get set on a decision and

[bluestsdays]

while tonight hasn’t shed too much light on what exactly they were or where they were going, it did prove that they could still partake in moments like this one; fleeting, wondrous moments that reaffirm just how strong of a connection they share. the lack of clarity might not fare well in the long run, but for right now, she’s just thankful they’re no longer at each other’s throats, saying things they didn’t mean, allowing jealousy to hijack all their thoughts and emotions, lashing out in turn. but she could do this, she thinks, she could be whatever he needed her to be, whenever he needed her— just for more of this, more of him and them together, even if it wasn’t exactly how it used to be. whatever piece he was willing to give her, she would accept, wholeheartedly. and maybe it wasn’t healthy, nor did she think it would please the others in their life, but she couldn’t deny this, couldn’t deny how badly she still needed him in her life. and it’s nice to hear that it’s reciprocated, that he, too, hasn’t gone a day without wishing they were together, wanting her by his side just like she wanted him, too. she didn’t know what lay ahead for them, but fuck, she knew she would do anything to see him smile again and again like he is right now. it forces a smile upon her own lips, letting out a soft chuckle. “ no, i don’t want you to keep your mouth shut, because that would suck for me, just… try and be less hot, yeah ? seriously, that should be your resolution. i know that’s gonna be like, borderline impossible for you, but just try, please, for my self control’s sake, ” she teases in return, breath stuttering slightly as he pulls her hand into his own, fingers now interlaced as they slowly but surely continue to close the distance between them, just like always they never could stay apart for long, even in the aftermath of such a strained evening. electricity shoots up through her fingers at his touch, traveling up her arm, then all the way down to the base of her spine where it pools, leaving her warm and buzzing with something that feels like anticipation. and she knows they shouldn’t do this, that they’re falling back into familiar patterns, that she should be concerned with whether or not her boyfriend really was freaking out inside, but she can’t help it— not when he moves closer, when she looks up at him and sees everything she’s ever wanted, every dream she’s ever had, looking back at her. “ mm, yeah, no, you do not need to hear my unfiltered thoughts right now. ” she says, quietly. and she can feel his gaze on her lips, only because her gaze traces his, too, teeth sinking into her lower lip as she witnesses his fingertips splay across the bone of her hip, stifling a shiver. 3, 2, 1… and her free hand finds the curve of his jaw just as the shouts of happy new year ring out from inside. and there’s no fighting it, how she leans in to capture his lips with her own, fireworks exploding beneath her skin, reminded of the last time they were intertwined like this, just a few weeks ago. still, she’s attempting to transmit all the hope and love and longing she still feels for him into the kiss, to subconsciously tell him that this wasn’t over for her, that it wouldn’t ever be over, no matter how many new years come and go.

where did they go from here? he didn’t have an answer for that. now that he thinks about it, he never has. all they’ve been doing is taking it day-by-day, doing whatever they could within their power to just figure it out. neither were perfect at it, in fact, miller’s been entirely flawed in this process, clinging to whatever remnants were still between them, no matter how crumbled and shattered they had become. it’s better than not trying, he thinks— to have allowed the physical distance, the pain of seeing her with someone else, get the better of him. would rather fight everyday, tooth and nail, to remain in her life, if that’s where she wanted him. he would do anything she asked. and of course he wishes this had all been different for them; that he’d found a job locally, instead, that he’d fought harder when she insisted that he just go, aim to reach dreams that came to fruition, that only ever felt possible, because of her. it wasn’t the cards they’d been dealt, though, and that’s a painful truth he’ll always have to live with, the ache if it radiating in his chest, cracking his ribcage. at least, now, they were both willing to make this work, as best they could, no matter how confusing, how difficult, it’s all become. that’s why there’s relief twining into the smile that tugs at his mouth— at least they had this, here, time spent together, grounding them in a moment that will soon be lost. “ i always want you around, too— there’s never been a day when that hasn’t been in the case. ” there never would be, either. and even if his desires run much deeper than that, even if he isn’t entirely sure he can only be her friend, he chooses not to speak on it, knowing how much damage he’s already done, tonight. “ and i’ll try to not make things too hard on you, hm? even if i can’t help it… not sure what you want me to do when it comes to just standing, but i’ll do it. i’ll even learn to keep my mouth shut— maybe they can be my new year’s resolutions. ” he teases, corners of his mouth only lifting until it’s a full-pledged grin, across his countenance. it’s safe here, again, this space between them, which only emboldens him all the more, turning his hand until he can lace their fingers together, feeling the jolts of electricity that course between them. “ i happen to like your unfiltered thoughts, though, ” even if they’re hard to hear. “ actually, maybe that should be one of your resolutions; think i want to hear more of them. ” because this streak of honesty, as difficult as it has been to hear, at least meant he knew where they stood. and he hears it at the same time she does, the echoes of voices inside, counting down to the start of a new year. it cuts him off from saying that he always wants her, always has, and he doesn’t know if that’ll ever go away. he doesn’t make any effort to move from this spot, though, gaze soft, knowing, as he traces the contours of her face, all the parts of her that he has memorised. “ yeah, we probably should… fletcher will be looking for you too, right? probably freaking out that he’s lost sight of you. ” his words aren’t bitter either, the strain of their night dissipating with each moment that passes. his gaze ends up at her lips eventually, drawing around their outline, a small step closer without thinking twice about it, free hand reaching for her hip, fingers splayed along it’s most prominent part, 3, 2, 1…

[nekrosmos]

.

[atoriv-art]

older designs for my specialest guy

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

[famewolf]

for so long all I wanted to do was die but now that I'm older, all I worry about is dying too soon. too soon to experience all the things I didn't give myself time for when I was young. I don't want to spend these years overthinking what time I have left

[thestrangestwatermelonofall]

i will never forget the time I was hanging out with two other people who were new friends and they were like "let's do a sonic fandub" and one of them started looking up sonic game footage on youtube for us to dub while we discussed who would speak for who and we decided I'd voice tails. But also I knew nothing about sonic at the time, i'd only seen the snapcube fandubs because I'd heard they were good and funny, I didn't know the plot or characters very well. I couldn't remember what they sounded like so while the other two started to say silly things in sonic and amy's voices I asked "what does tails sound like again?" And I was laughing because I was embarrassed and also shocked by how quickly they had started commiting to the bit of trying to do some voice acting and my friend just said "he sounds like a twink" and I could not stop laughing and I could not take the idea seriously and I just told them that I couldn't do the voice oops. And so we moved onto a different topic pretty quickly and just enjoyed the pizza we had while we waited for our other three friends to get back from the store

anyways all of this is to say that Tails is NOT a twink, he is an 8 year old little boy and my friend was misguided.

[thnksfrthmmrs]

[yuribalisms]

I need to uproot my entire life and start from scratch or I’m gonna go insane

[whimsyprinx]

i don’t think I’m like actually allowed to be happy or that I even know how to be anymore

[violetsandshrikes]

I met a girl when I was fresh out of high school in undergrad who frankly, annoyed me quite a bit, but I also had an inkling to continue to be compassionate to her given a few things about her life/background/family

I ran into her two years ago. Last week, her daughter turned 1. This girl, let’s called her “P”, is a really good example of why I never feel comfortable mocking trad wives

Her perfect trad husband, who was a shining young figure in the local religious community, volunteered in all sorts of groups, well loved in his workplace and everything else, beat her up at 1 month post-partum. I reached out to her after seeing her desperately asking for a stroller on a page, confused and slightly concerned knowing both of them came from wealthy backgrounds.

The reality for lots of tradwives living “perfect lives” is this: P was immediately ostracised. All the wealth of her husband and her family meant absolutely nothing if she wasn’t in favour and doing what she was told. Her child and her well-being didn’t matter. P, at 25 years old, was basically deemed an oopsie, and left on her own to figure out how to pay for herself, a baby, find housing, and every other task you can think of.

Having known many of these women (and supported many of these women), another factor most people don’t consider is this: they are intentionally raised to be helpless. When I immediately offered my support to P, she really needed it. This young woman needed to be guided through how to apply for government assistance, how to weigh up rentals and apply for them, how to apply for jobs, how to sign up for childcare. How to sign up for your own power and internet, and how to connect them.

It wasn’t that she was “stupid”, or incapable, or spoiled. While it looks like they’re being sheltered, in reality, these women are practically being held hostage. Sure, they might be allowed to learn things that are expected of them (see: basic cooking, baking, cleaning, child rearing, women’s bible studies, hosting, and so forth) but they are heavily controlled from family life into marriage life, and they are never given the opportunity or the reality of what many of us would consider basic adult tasks.

She’s doing okay now. Her daughter turned 1, is happy and healthy. They live frugally, but they have a roof over their heads and the essentials. I often babysit for her so she can attend counselling, or go to a woman’s support group. She is painfully aware that she has so much to learn about how to live as an adult.

I don’t envy tradwives, but I don’t find any joy in mocking them either. Even when they live the most picturesque lives, they’re also practically living a real life Jenga game. If (and often, when) it comes tumbling down, they’re screwed too, and they often have 0 skills to help themselves or find community (that again, isn’t carefully curated).