#be compassionate to yourself

[not-poignant]

Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing? with the understanding that no advice is universal of course

28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

So I have a ton of stuff in the Pia on Writing tag that goes into a lot of detail but (with the caveat to ignore anything that doesn't work for you):

Learn to love your mistakes, because you must make a lot of them to get good at writing, so if you hold back because you're worried about your writing being bad, your shooting yourself in the foot. Your writing HAS to be bad for it to get better. Or: You need manure/shit (bad writing) to grow a really good garden (good writing). You want a good garden? Start shoveling the shit in, lol.

Clever marketing won't solve not putting the hours in to hone your craft.

In fanfiction, make sure it's fun. That doesn't mean it can't be hard sometimes, that you can't dread editing sometimes or drafting, that you can't have sadder times, but make sure that the overall net is always positive. Otherwise, take a break.

In professional writing, learn how to stop waiting for inspiration to strike, and learn to turn up on that dance floor on your own. Inspiration is a fickle dance partner, it often won't turn up unless you develop the discipline to turn up first.

Sometimes the writing you absolutely slog through that feels stilted and bad is some of your best writing. Just because it feels clunky when you're writing, doesn't mean it reads clunky. Just because it feels smooth when you're writing, doesn't mean it reads smooth. Your emotional state at the time of writing does not determine the quality of writing. Feeling good while you're writing =/= good writing. Likewise feeling bad while writing =/= bad writing.

You do not need a daily habit to be good at writing. Develop one if you want one, but personally I don't have one and I'm super happy that way. Take your weekends, have your leisure time, goddamn it, don't be a terrible boss to yourself.

Writing can be both lonely and exhausting - make some non-douchey writer friends (or artist or creative friends), and make sure you take breaks. Because writing is so cerebral, you'd be surprised how much physical activity can help with recovery, like stretching, gentle walks, workouts, etc.

Eat brain food. Snacking during writing is actually normal. I have nuts on hand for protein boosts, but I'll also eat chocolate or snack on quick energy boosts.

Stay hydrated.

Ignore any writing advice that goes 'you must do this in order to be a writer' or 'you have to do this one thing to be successful.' They're wrong. There is no one-true-path in writing with the exception that you do have to write in order to like...be a writer, imho.

You are going to want to compare yourself to others, but be very aware of who you're comparing yourself to. If you're new, why are you comparing yourself to someone with 10-20 years of experience? If you're disabled and fatigued, why are you comparing yourself to able-bodied writers? Stop competing with people outside of your metaphorical weight class, they're not your competition. I'm not going to tell you not to compare yourself to others, but be very careful of how you compare yourself to others. I've had new writers be like 'I could never do your wordcounts (so I'm not as good of a writer)' and like, no friend, neither could I 10 years ago. This is literally a decade of hard work and practice. Some skills really just come with time. (Also most writers are more successful after writing less words than me so y'know lol).

If you get shitty comments/critiques, remind yourself that if you wouldn't take personal advice from a complete stranger like this (and you wouldn't), then their shitty comments/critiques aren't worth your time either.

On AO3, the delete, block, moderate comments function and mute buttons are all free. USE THEM. Don't bother giving haters airtime on your fics. Elsewhere on the internet, as much as you can, try and ignore review sites. Like seriously.

Learn your writing style. Practice planning, plantsing and pantsing! Practice writing one thing or more than one thing at a time. Practice different genres. You might be surprised at what fits you as a person! Think of it like being a musician, you're not trying to be a band that already exists, you're trying to be your band and you're trying to find your sound.

You're probably very good at noticing your weaknesses, get good at noticing your strengths, and use those to shore up the places where you're still building skills.

Do writing prompts. I cannot stress this enough, but learn how to write settings. Describe the dialogue of a friend. Write a character dossier on a television character. Practice worldbuilding, practice character building.

Fill the well. Read broadly across many genres. Watch many different types of media. Listen to many audiobooks. The best way to not sound derivative of a particular order is to saturate yourself with inspiration from hundreds of different places.

That's probably enough! dklsjfdas

~

From this meme!

[happy-place-for-sad-people]

something my therapist told me and might help you through difficult times: your brain holds resistance to change. you've been doing something for so long now, to the point that's what you consider normal or routine. you wanting to change that for one reason or the other will be conflicting, and your system will probably make you feel like that's not what you want or need, but remember it's just your brain playing tricks on you. you're on the right path, sweet soul, keep it going. i love you.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

[hartenlicht]

‹   · 。 🦢 *     ―     my Love Letter to those who feel at war with themselves when manifesting:

✧. This message is to those who feel a lot of resistance about their desires .✧

Resistance is your brain's nasty way of trying to protect you. It keeps you small, stuck in your comfort zone, because you don't want to experience any more heartbreak and disappointment. You've been hurt so many times in the past and you have no clue how much more you can take before you completely break down and give up on life. What if you fail again? What if good things can't happen to someone like you? What if it'll all be taken away anyways? It might be easier to stay in your comfort zone, even though your circumstances aren't ideal, because at least you know what to expect. You've adapted yourself for your survival.

You work so hard. The fact that you're part of this community, deciding every single day that you want to create a better life for yourself, is honestly such an admirable thing to do. You believe in a better future for yourself, you believe you're worthy of great things. You claim ownership of the desires that are rightfully yours. And yes, they're already yours right now. They will always be yours, they've always been yours.

You just need to let go of control and align yourself with your desires, embody that state of abundance bravely and fully.

You need to stop fighting this war with yourself. Find peace within. Tap into that source of unconditional love for yourself, because that's when you realise the Universe is like a sugar daddy (lmao). Opportunities will come falling from the sky, you will meet the right people, you will align with all the riches in the world because you know that's what you deserve. You are aligned with what your soul yearns for. That's why these manifestation gurus with high self concepts live their dream lives. They believe fully and wholly that this is what's meant for them, that this is what they deserve.

And while you can absolutely manifest everything that your heart desires while experiencing resistance, you're just making yourself suffer very unnecessarily and you don't deserve this. :( It doesn't have to be this way!!

Now, how can we heal our relationship with resistance?

There's lots of reasons why people feel resistance, and I implore you to sit with yours. Think about it: why are you so afraid? Do you not feel ready? Do you feel like you're going to mess up? Are you scared of what will happen when you do succeed? Think about it. If you don't feel ready to experience your desires, they will show up delayed in your 3D. And every day that you wait for your desires to show up, you get more and more insecure and lose hope. This is a cycle that needs to be broken. You need to make peace with the idea that you already have what you want. It's through this peace that it will come to you effortlessly and instantly.

Identify limiting beliefs and take a hard look at your self concept. You can do this through journaling or just talking to yourself out loud when no one is around lmao. I wouldn't just think about it, because when you think too hard your brain often gets too scattered and chaotic and suddenly you're spiraling into an anxiety attack and a dark pit of self hatred. Saying things out loud (or writing them down), helps you organise your thoughts and be more concise.

Ideally you're sitting with yourself right now and you have a lot of realisations about your fears and what's holding you back from living fearlessly. Now I want you to have COMPASSION with yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself for having resistance, again: it's your brain trying to protect you from all that feels unfamiliar and dangerous. Thank yourself for all that you did in the past to keep yourself alive. But you don't need to keep yourself small anymore. You don't need to hide from your desires. You're safe, secure, and confident. You allow yourself to be seen and take up space, you allow yourself to CLAIM what you rightfully deserve.

Trust yourself and be brave. You got this, you can do this. Don't let your fears keep you small and limiting.

In the past I would really beat myself up for having such a bad self concept. But you cannot hate your way into loving yourself... You need to be gentle and kind and understanding. You need to fall in love with yourself. When I realised how mean I've been to myself all these years, how I've been my own worst enemy because of my limiting beliefs and insecurities... I just cried because I realised I didn't deserve any of this bullying from myself. I looked inwards and realised I still identified with a scared little girl because I felt so incompetent. All I craved was acceptance and love from myself. So I sat with my demons and looked them in the eye, held their hand and hugged them. I thanked them for protecting me and that I'm the one who will protect them from now on by shining brightly. By living my dream life.

Currently I identify with my dream version of myself: I am her, she is me. And this is powerful. I'm in a state of pure love and peace, I stopped fighting this war with myself and embraced myself fully. And guess what? All my manifestations are popping up in the 3D, one by one! I know what I'm worthy of and I manifest from a place of peace and confidence.

Again, you don't have to be in this state to manifest successfully, that's a limiting belief. You can manifest in any type of state, I did this before too. I was just so tired and insecure, I nearly burnt myself out trying to manifest because I was spending so much energy trying to convince myself I'm worthy of good things. Whenever I got a manifestation, I would fall into the habit of self sabotage and self doubt. And I realised this isn't okay.

I want you to be kinder towards yourself and give yourself some grace. You're a divine being in a human body. Some people carry this whole bag of trauma with them and aren't able to just decide that it doesn't exist or never happened. It feels too hard for them, too overwhelming because they've been carrying this demon on their shoulders for most of their lives. For some people their pain and insecurities are hidden in dark corners of their brain and they try to sneak up on them in very unexpected ways, completely derailing them when they thought they were doing fine. If you struggle with this, I hope you know that you CAN heal from all you've been through. You CAN have a divine connection with yourself. You CAN have all your desires instantly. You just need to choose yourself. Step into your power and surrender. Know it's yours and love yourself enough that you don't feel like you constantly have to prove to yourself that you deserve an easy and abundant life.

I hope this post resonated with those who needed to see it. I send you so much love and my inbox is always open for any questions or concerns! ♡

Yours unconditionally,

Junie.

[unwhitewashthebadbatch]

When we say that future creators can do better, we mean it. Our carrd has some reasources, but everyone in the Star Wars fandom is encouraged to not only go out and do their own research, but to spread what they find among their peers. Learn how to draw the facial features of different ethnicities. Large noses, flat ones, hooked ones. Round faces, full cheeks, hooded eyes. The full range of skin tones. Learn about the tropes and stereotypes surrounding your marginalized characters. Learn what to do, how to avoid doing the same things as the Bad Batch creators. You'll be shocked to learn how popular media has historically gone out of its way to demonize people of color, disabled people, neurodivergent people, and Jewish people, among others. What may seem like a harmless trope to you often has decades or even centuries of hate behind it. No trope exists in a vacuum, and no creation does, either. You can do better.

[possamble]

Thank you for writing the (messy but neccessary) farcille breakdown. You handled it so wonderfully aaaaaaaah!! Like the other anon I was wondering how far "rock bottom" could get (because chapter 4 already felt pretty rock bottom) but. Yeah. That's pretty rock bottom, huh. The tragedy of loving someone but the other person not understanding <- this applies to both of them.

I think it was really neat how you flipped the question on who's reaching out to who with the academy flashback and the final scene with Namari, because... Marcille clinging onto Falin really is just a reversal of their academy days, isn't it? To everyone who met them after they reunited, it was always Marcille chasing after Falin, but to those who were at the magic academy, it was Falin chasing after Marcille. From picking flowers and berries to eat together, inviting Marcille out to see a play, and generally monopolizing her free time... I'm sure any of them would say the same thing as Namari, but in reverse. No wonder everyone thinks Marcille is just another friend to Falin. They weren't there to witness her pining /j. Idk!! I was rereading the chapter and the academy flashback girl was like "why do you hang off of Marcille so much" and I screamed to myself, "hey wait. HEY WAIT."

[synnthamonsugar]

american tiktok-to-rednote refugees are inventing forms of orientalism that would make a 18th century european aristocrat's head spin.

[diaryofanenchantedprincess]

Self compassion is the antidote.

Whenever you’re feeling down, when you’re feeling ashamed especially- be compassionate to yourself. When you’re having a hard day, do something with the mindset that being kind and gentle and loving to yourself is what will help you. You deserve that kindness. You deserve to feel good.

Do one thing as an act of service for yourself. If you want to do more and fill the day with self care activities- please do. But if you’re only able to manage one thing, please do it. It’s different for everyone. It can be getting a scoop of ice cream. Walking outside for 10 minutes. Laying down under the blankets with your stuffed toy. A guided breathing exercise. Simply sitting down and observing nature. Anything.

Whatever it is- make sure it’s something mindful and not something that distracts you like watching tv or scrolling on your phone. For me- it’s making a cup of hot chocolate.

Hot chocolate has never failed me.

I simply boil a few pieces of 70% dark chocolate in some milk, and while I’m humming (I make myself hum a tune no matter what mood I’m in), I keep stirring without letting the milk come to a boil and when it’s reached that creamy, luscious consistency, I take it off the heat, pour into my pink mug and top it off with some mini marshmallows and shaved dark chocolate. Sometimes I’ll omit the marshmallows and put in a spoon of vanilla ice cream and gently stir. I’ll watch the ice cream melt into little snowy swirls on top of my beautiful hot chocolate and that first little sip- I swear- feels like it reaches my entire nervous system and calms it down. Like a wave of relief and relaxation washing over me.

In my darkest moments, when I feel like I’m so deep in a pit that there’s nothing that could possibly get me out, no light could ever reach down to a darkness that dwells so deep, hot chocolate is an instant cure. A comfort. A balm that soothes my soul. A warm blanket around my freezing heart. A gentle hand that guides me slowly but surely out of that dark pit.

I do this every time I fall into my pit. It has gotten me out every single time. Not right away some days, but it leaves a lasting impact and has reduced the frequency of my ‘mental lows’. It’s imprinted in my mind that when I feel low, I am worth being loved then too. When I feel worthless, I am worth love especially then.

If you’re feeling low today, please do one kind, loving act of service for yourself. You deserve to feel good. You deserve to be shown kindness and love. Especially if the person showing that to you is you.

[tordenvejr]

Hi dear. I've got a question about burn out that I dont know if you can answer, but if not maybe your followers would be so kind to share some experiences. I have been feeling very tired for a long time, I cant concentrate on anything, and at work I have become forgetful, angry and I cry all the time. I saw a nurse the other day and she said I should see a doctor and be put on sick leave. I don't feel like I'm sick enough to go home, yet like... do I really know better than a nurse? At home I do nothing but sleep and absolute essentials, which is making me depressed, but I don't feel /sick/... if you understand what I mean. I was raised that if i could get out of bed i'm going to school and it is a core belief of mine that it's important to not give in easily. Is burn out always very much a physical sickness or not? I don't know if it's time for some self-care or to grit my teeth and keep going... :(

i'm going to be very direct with you, know that i mean it with care 🤍

you say your core belief is to not give in easily, what is it you're not giving in to? because the way i'm reading this it's "i don't give in to my needs" which, if accurate, is very dangerous.

if you hold onto this core belief for another year, 5, 10, 25 what is your life going to look like? will you be happy? healthy? peaceful? will you be alive?

picking up a belief doesn't mean you live with it forever, but you do have to put it down for that not to be the case.

where did you pick up the belief in the first place? if you picked it up from a trauma then the charge of that trauma emanates throughout the belief and into your life everywhere it touches. who did you pick up this belief from? are they happy? well? healthy? do they love their life? this is who you're modeling your life after so it's worth taking a moment to assess.

it sounds to me like there might be a theme of giving authority over your life over to outside influences; who raised you, the nurse, even me. this is not sustainable, and it isn't our place to assess your needs and certainly not to assess your right to have them. the needs are yours, you are entitled to them by virtue of having them.

if someone came to you and said: i am tired, i can't concentrate, i am forgetful, i am angry, i am crying, all i do is sleep, i am depressed

would you be concerned with whether what they're experiencing qualifies as burnout or would you just tell them to rest?

it seems to me that having burnout could be just another permission slip that it's "really bad enough". you are training your entire being to scream in order to be heard by you.

waiting until you're burned out or at the end of your rope is not admirable, it's not a strength, it is self destructive and damaging, emotionally, spiritually and physically.

how sick do you need to be in order to give yourself what you need? pick your limit wisely because without change that's the extent that it can go to. some people will be dying and still deny themselves compassion and care. navigating life to be as stoic and dismissive of your needs as possible serves absolutely no one, certainly not you, and not even those that demand it of you.

you know you're exhausted, you know you can't do any more, you don't need my permission or anyone else's, give it to yourself.

go back to the first day you didn't have the capacity for school and your needs were dismissed. rewrite this belief, and say: "no, i'm getting out of bed AND i'm staying home. maybe you should too."

caring for yourself is a lifelong practice, so yes it's time and it will continue to be time

[mars-ipan]

hey folks did you know i love super dangan ronpa 2

[astrogirlythings]

I am only up against the best version of myself . ♀️

Respectfully, other women are not my competition. I will never compare myself with them & I hope that they don't compare themselves with me too.

[transcendragon]

Be Gentle With Yourself (reminders #2) - it’s my series of gentle reminders, so of course there has to be some dragons! It still applies to you if you’re not a dragon, though

My original art made in Procreate

[happy-place-for-sad-people]

friendly reminder that you owe no one an explanation for the things that bring you joy. you don't have to find a justification for the music you listen to, or the activities you love doing, or the series you watch when you're bored. they don't need to understand it, and you don't need to compensate them.

[problemnyatic]

so does putting "men dni" in your shit actually reduce the number of shitheads you get or does it just filter out the dudes who actually care about boundaries in the first place

[topicaltropic]

oops! all wips

[sirowsky]

Here's one for my fellow self-doubters:

If you ever find yourself stuck in the train of thought that everyone else is so much better than you at everything, just remember:

🔸️Everyone sucks at something.

🔸️They just don't share those things.

I love to draw, but while I've always wanted to, I've never had the discipline to learn how to draw anything realistic or lifelike. So, whenever I see gorgeous sketches or paintings of people/places/favorite characters, I feel like such a failure.

But you know what, I'm not. Maybe I never learned those things I dreamed I'd be great at by now, but I'm good at other things.

🔸️And that's enough.

(I was trying to sketch a dragon. It's been like ten years since I last attempted it.)