#be compassionate to yourself

[not-poignant]

Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing? with the understanding that no advice is universal of course

28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

So I have a ton of stuff in the Pia on Writing tag that goes into a lot of detail but (with the caveat to ignore anything that doesn't work for you):

Learn to love your mistakes, because you must make a lot of them to get good at writing, so if you hold back because you're worried about your writing being bad, your shooting yourself in the foot. Your writing HAS to be bad for it to get better. Or: You need manure/shit (bad writing) to grow a really good garden (good writing). You want a good garden? Start shoveling the shit in, lol.

Clever marketing won't solve not putting the hours in to hone your craft.

In fanfiction, make sure it's fun. That doesn't mean it can't be hard sometimes, that you can't dread editing sometimes or drafting, that you can't have sadder times, but make sure that the overall net is always positive. Otherwise, take a break.

In professional writing, learn how to stop waiting for inspiration to strike, and learn to turn up on that dance floor on your own. Inspiration is a fickle dance partner, it often won't turn up unless you develop the discipline to turn up first.

Sometimes the writing you absolutely slog through that feels stilted and bad is some of your best writing. Just because it feels clunky when you're writing, doesn't mean it reads clunky. Just because it feels smooth when you're writing, doesn't mean it reads smooth. Your emotional state at the time of writing does not determine the quality of writing. Feeling good while you're writing =/= good writing. Likewise feeling bad while writing =/= bad writing.

You do not need a daily habit to be good at writing. Develop one if you want one, but personally I don't have one and I'm super happy that way. Take your weekends, have your leisure time, goddamn it, don't be a terrible boss to yourself.

Writing can be both lonely and exhausting - make some non-douchey writer friends (or artist or creative friends), and make sure you take breaks. Because writing is so cerebral, you'd be surprised how much physical activity can help with recovery, like stretching, gentle walks, workouts, etc.

Eat brain food. Snacking during writing is actually normal. I have nuts on hand for protein boosts, but I'll also eat chocolate or snack on quick energy boosts.

Stay hydrated.

Ignore any writing advice that goes 'you must do this in order to be a writer' or 'you have to do this one thing to be successful.' They're wrong. There is no one-true-path in writing with the exception that you do have to write in order to like...be a writer, imho.

You are going to want to compare yourself to others, but be very aware of who you're comparing yourself to. If you're new, why are you comparing yourself to someone with 10-20 years of experience? If you're disabled and fatigued, why are you comparing yourself to able-bodied writers? Stop competing with people outside of your metaphorical weight class, they're not your competition. I'm not going to tell you not to compare yourself to others, but be very careful of how you compare yourself to others. I've had new writers be like 'I could never do your wordcounts (so I'm not as good of a writer)' and like, no friend, neither could I 10 years ago. This is literally a decade of hard work and practice. Some skills really just come with time. (Also most writers are more successful after writing less words than me so y'know lol).

If you get shitty comments/critiques, remind yourself that if you wouldn't take personal advice from a complete stranger like this (and you wouldn't), then their shitty comments/critiques aren't worth your time either.

On AO3, the delete, block, moderate comments function and mute buttons are all free. USE THEM. Don't bother giving haters airtime on your fics. Elsewhere on the internet, as much as you can, try and ignore review sites. Like seriously.

Learn your writing style. Practice planning, plantsing and pantsing! Practice writing one thing or more than one thing at a time. Practice different genres. You might be surprised at what fits you as a person! Think of it like being a musician, you're not trying to be a band that already exists, you're trying to be your band and you're trying to find your sound.

You're probably very good at noticing your weaknesses, get good at noticing your strengths, and use those to shore up the places where you're still building skills.

Do writing prompts. I cannot stress this enough, but learn how to write settings. Describe the dialogue of a friend. Write a character dossier on a television character. Practice worldbuilding, practice character building.

Fill the well. Read broadly across many genres. Watch many different types of media. Listen to many audiobooks. The best way to not sound derivative of a particular order is to saturate yourself with inspiration from hundreds of different places.

That's probably enough! dklsjfdas

~

From this meme!

[happy-place-for-sad-people]

something my therapist told me and might help you through difficult times: your brain holds resistance to change. you've been doing something for so long now, to the point that's what you consider normal or routine. you wanting to change that for one reason or the other will be conflicting, and your system will probably make you feel like that's not what you want or need, but remember it's just your brain playing tricks on you. you're on the right path, sweet soul, keep it going. i love you.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

[unwhitewashthebadbatch]

When we say that future creators can do better, we mean it. Our carrd has some reasources, but everyone in the Star Wars fandom is encouraged to not only go out and do their own research, but to spread what they find among their peers. Learn how to draw the facial features of different ethnicities. Large noses, flat ones, hooked ones. Round faces, full cheeks, hooded eyes. The full range of skin tones. Learn about the tropes and stereotypes surrounding your marginalized characters. Learn what to do, how to avoid doing the same things as the Bad Batch creators. You'll be shocked to learn how popular media has historically gone out of its way to demonize people of color, disabled people, neurodivergent people, and Jewish people, among others. What may seem like a harmless trope to you often has decades or even centuries of hate behind it. No trope exists in a vacuum, and no creation does, either. You can do better.

[possamble]

Thank you for writing the (messy but neccessary) farcille breakdown. You handled it so wonderfully aaaaaaaah!! Like the other anon I was wondering how far "rock bottom" could get (because chapter 4 already felt pretty rock bottom) but. Yeah. That's pretty rock bottom, huh. The tragedy of loving someone but the other person not understanding <- this applies to both of them.

I think it was really neat how you flipped the question on who's reaching out to who with the academy flashback and the final scene with Namari, because... Marcille clinging onto Falin really is just a reversal of their academy days, isn't it? To everyone who met them after they reunited, it was always Marcille chasing after Falin, but to those who were at the magic academy, it was Falin chasing after Marcille. From picking flowers and berries to eat together, inviting Marcille out to see a play, and generally monopolizing her free time... I'm sure any of them would say the same thing as Namari, but in reverse. No wonder everyone thinks Marcille is just another friend to Falin. They weren't there to witness her pining /j. Idk!! I was rereading the chapter and the academy flashback girl was like "why do you hang off of Marcille so much" and I screamed to myself, "hey wait. HEY WAIT."

[everybodyknows-everybodydies]

On a day that isn’t one, Sheogorath tries to break into Aetherius.

It’s just a matter of going there, really. Going places is easy. So she does.

The great golden dragon is waiting just over the threshold. THIS PLACE IS NOT YOURS, it says—or rather, the words exist where they did not before, because the dragon wills them to. Its mouth never even opens. Show-off.

“No,” says Sheogorath with a smile. “But I’m everywhere else. Why not?”

ECLOSING ONE, HALF-DIGESTED THING. YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE.

“I belong where I am. I am everywhere but here. Now I am here, so now I belong.” She starts forward.

The great head lowers to block her path, eyes ticking brightly. WHO ARE YOU?

“Sheogorath,” she says, as her mouth tries to form another name. “The eyes want to see; I brought them to have a look. They’re here, aren’t they?”

THEY ARE ALL HERE, SAVE THOSE WHO ARE NOT. The dragon blinks, sidewise. She mimics, just to see if she can. YOU ARE NOT.

“But I am,” points out Sheogorath. “I’m right here. As you see.” And then, from her mouth but Before, “Please.”

DOES IT HURT?

“Oh, no; I’m done hurting now, thank you.” She tilts her head. “Did it hurt when you ate him? Was it—the same?”

YOU UNREMEMBER THE ASCENT. IT DID NOT HAPPEN THAT WAY, IN YOUR TIME.

“Didn’t it? Opened your great big jaws and then snip-snap! Just you, and no more of him. I was there, you know. I saw you.” Sheogorath taps her temple solemnly. “But that’s fine. It doesn’t have to be the priest. I don’t think the eyes want to see him anyway, the liar. Someone else, just to look. The last one told me ‘closure’—or it might turn out ‘closer’; I haven’t decided yet how it went—”

WHO ARE YOU?

“I told you already. Pay attention.”

SPEAK TRUE OR NOT AT ALL IN THIS PLACE. The wings unfurl—the dragon blots out the void above, rumbling dangerously. AND YOU CANNOT. YOU WILL LEAVE, UNWINDING ONE.

Sheogorath does not move. She listens, instead; it’s becoming increasingly difficult to pin down the Before thoughts, the ones bound to the name she doesn’t use anymore. It was the Before that wanted to be here, where the blurred faces came. The words of the dragon are, she identifies, making the Before thoughts sad.

“I see,” she says knowingly, and discards the sadness, as she has done. “We’re done with all that, you know.”

She gives a sweeping bow. The realization flits through on butterfly wings: Sheogorath doesn’t remember why she came here. Just to see if she could, more likely than not. She’s always doing things without a why. “Well. I have places to be that aren’t here, and better conversation partners to engage.”

The dragon only looks at her, silent.

This is the correct way—the only way—for it to end, of course, she acknowledges as she turns: no matter how else it went, the dragon was always silent, at the end.

But this is a Before thought, so Sheogorath puts it away.

[tordenvejr]

Hi dear. I've got a question about burn out that I dont know if you can answer, but if not maybe your followers would be so kind to share some experiences. I have been feeling very tired for a long time, I cant concentrate on anything, and at work I have become forgetful, angry and I cry all the time. I saw a nurse the other day and she said I should see a doctor and be put on sick leave. I don't feel like I'm sick enough to go home, yet like... do I really know better than a nurse? At home I do nothing but sleep and absolute essentials, which is making me depressed, but I don't feel /sick/... if you understand what I mean. I was raised that if i could get out of bed i'm going to school and it is a core belief of mine that it's important to not give in easily. Is burn out always very much a physical sickness or not? I don't know if it's time for some self-care or to grit my teeth and keep going... :(

i'm going to be very direct with you, know that i mean it with care 🤍

you say your core belief is to not give in easily, what is it you're not giving in to? because the way i'm reading this it's "i don't give in to my needs" which, if accurate, is very dangerous.

if you hold onto this core belief for another year, 5, 10, 25 what is your life going to look like? will you be happy? healthy? peaceful? will you be alive?

picking up a belief doesn't mean you live with it forever, but you do have to put it down for that not to be the case.

where did you pick up the belief in the first place? if you picked it up from a trauma then the charge of that trauma emanates throughout the belief and into your life everywhere it touches. who did you pick up this belief from? are they happy? well? healthy? do they love their life? this is who you're modeling your life after so it's worth taking a moment to assess.

it sounds to me like there might be a theme of giving authority over your life over to outside influences; who raised you, the nurse, even me. this is not sustainable, and it isn't our place to assess your needs and certainly not to assess your right to have them. the needs are yours, you are entitled to them by virtue of having them.

if someone came to you and said: i am tired, i can't concentrate, i am forgetful, i am angry, i am crying, all i do is sleep, i am depressed

would you be concerned with whether what they're experiencing qualifies as burnout or would you just tell them to rest?

it seems to me that having burnout could be just another permission slip that it's "really bad enough". you are training your entire being to scream in order to be heard by you.

waiting until you're burned out or at the end of your rope is not admirable, it's not a strength, it is self destructive and damaging, emotionally, spiritually and physically.

how sick do you need to be in order to give yourself what you need? pick your limit wisely because without change that's the extent that it can go to. some people will be dying and still deny themselves compassion and care. navigating life to be as stoic and dismissive of your needs as possible serves absolutely no one, certainly not you, and not even those that demand it of you.

you know you're exhausted, you know you can't do any more, you don't need my permission or anyone else's, give it to yourself.

go back to the first day you didn't have the capacity for school and your needs were dismissed. rewrite this belief, and say: "no, i'm getting out of bed AND i'm staying home. maybe you should too."

caring for yourself is a lifelong practice, so yes it's time and it will continue to be time

[mars-ipan]

hey folks did you know i love super dangan ronpa 2

[transcendragon]

Be Gentle With Yourself (reminders #2) - it’s my series of gentle reminders, so of course there has to be some dragons! It still applies to you if you’re not a dragon, though

My original art made in Procreate

[astrogirlythings]

I am only up against the best version of myself . ♀️

Respectfully, other women are not my competition. I will never compare myself with them & I hope that they don't compare themselves with me too.

[problemnyatic]

so does putting "men dni" in your shit actually reduce the number of shitheads you get or does it just filter out the dudes who actually care about boundaries in the first place

[happy-place-for-sad-people]

friendly reminder that you owe no one an explanation for the things that bring you joy. you don't have to find a justification for the music you listen to, or the activities you love doing, or the series you watch when you're bored. they don't need to understand it, and you don't need to compensate them.

[topicaltropic]

oops! all wips

[carrionsong]

goes on twt and sees a bcs artist i like go mad and blame nonvoters and jstein voters for trump like 51% didnt vote for trump and gerrymandering and repubs literally burning ballots and covid disabling ppl who then cant mail in ballots in certain states doesnt exist ? ok👍

[sirowsky]

Here's one for my fellow self-doubters:

If you ever find yourself stuck in the train of thought that everyone else is so much better than you at everything, just remember:

🔸️Everyone sucks at something.

🔸️They just don't share those things.

I love to draw, but while I've always wanted to, I've never had the discipline to learn how to draw anything realistic or lifelike. So, whenever I see gorgeous sketches or paintings of people/places/favorite characters, I feel like such a failure.

But you know what, I'm not. Maybe I never learned those things I dreamed I'd be great at by now, but I'm good at other things.

🔸️And that's enough.

(I was trying to sketch a dragon. It's been like ten years since I last attempted it.)

[crescentfool]

guys. isn't being alive so cool. there are. so many swag people in my life. some of them don't even know i exist but i know that they exist and they're doing cool shit and i look at them with fondness that's enough for me.

the people who do know that i exist are also wonderful and i cherish them so much beyond human comprehension its unreal to me that in another lifetime i wouldn't know such splendid souls but they are here with me now and i think that's all that matters.

and there's so many cool little creatures and animals and plants and whatnot and even if i don't know shit about them i think its so cool that somewhere out there these things spark whimsy and joy and breathe life into people that their brain is like a cozy little library of encyclopedia knowledge.

the way in which life can take us on so many fun journeys and paths even if it may not look like anything to us in the moment i think it's so fucking neat to be able to walk this path and that even in hardship there will be good for us eventually and stories to tell for getting through these things.

guys i love being alive im so happy i love life and i'm so glad that i can feel a depth of emotions because it means i can be grateful for so many cool things like this.

i hope you all have something to love in life too you are so epic and swag for reading this and i think you will absolutely be able to skyrocket out of the universe to do the thing you want to do. keep on keeping on fellow humans!!!