#batman asexual

[beingaroace]

I think asexual Batman would make more sense. Pretending to be playboy, going on dates without having interest in any girl because that's what billionaire guys are supposed to be! But in real, he's very Asexual!

[arguablysomaya]

i personally believe that dick knows all of the lgbtq+ community memes better than anyone in his family despite the fact that he categorically refuses to come out so it's like

dick: omg ur asexual? do you like cake lololol

jason: ...how the fuck do you know about that

dick: more of a garlic bread guy then?

jason: if you're trying to kill me from cringe, believe me, I'll get you first

-

dick: it's getting cold out, gang, so dress warm. tim, no more bisexual cuffed jeans

tim: you can't call me out for that when you dress the EXACT SAME WAY, idiot

-

dick: the economy's getting bad. steph's gonna have to start dating men again soon

steph: LMFAO that's pretty funnyyyyyexceptit'sactuallytrueandalsohowdoyouknowaboutthat

[vodrae]

Asexual Jason Todd is actually the secret weapon of Batman.

Let me explain.

Every major female foes of the Bat used their sex appeal at one moment to distract the police, Arkham guards...

But, imagine Ivy increasing again and again and again the power of her pollen and Red Hood does not react. Maybe sneezing.

Circea trying to play whith his mind and

"Wtf are you doing ? Stop moving your hands like that."

Every teen heros getting caught lurking on Kori or Power Girl and he doesn't understand why those idiots can't start the meeting. Wtf does "My eyes are here" even mean.

Evil foreigner billionaire sending a spy to seduce the oldest boy in the family still in Gotham to steal informations on WayneTech and after a party of dancing and talking, with innuendos bigger than his arms, the dude takes back the girl in his plaza room to be sure she's safe and fall asleep on the floor.

Meanwhile the spy doesn't know if she lost her talents of if Jason has a really strong mind.

If Jason was Batman from the start, first encounter with catwoman, take 1 :

"What arrre you going to do, arrrest me ?

- Yes.

- Wait, what ?"

Jason going to college and always being invited to girls night when they're going to bars or nightclubs because they have a 6'6 werewolf with them to dissuaded the other guys and they feel secure because they can't recall one time he tried something that made them uncomfortable, or just something in fact.

Never hit on a girl, loves litterature, takes great care of his body...Jason Todd is the only gothamite unaware he's a gay icone.

[writingpoorly]

me: *aroace* how do I write a date?

[heybatterbats]

I’ve been seeing entirely too many posts about how ace-spec people aren’t really LGBTQ+ and don’t belong at Pride. And I got mad about it. So…*aces your Batfamily*

Yes, all of them. Every last one is now ace-spec in some way. They even named their dog Ace.

Bruce is sex-neutral biromantic demisexual, and came out by accident at age 24 to a random reporter who was not expecting it. This sparked a social media storm that was only halted by the much bigger social media storm of Bruce adopting Dick.

The Batman has been asked his sexuality before. Bruce replied- perfectly straight faced- that the Batman is an asexually reproductive entity and creates its Robins via mitosis. A third of Gotham, most of Metropolis, and several members of the Justice League still believe this.

Dick is sex-repulsed biromantic asexual, and is of the type to make the dirtiest jokes you’ve ever heard because sex is a joke to him. Came out in the form of an acrobatics performance he did at a pride parade, wearing a terrible Batman costume with a bi heart as the Batsymbol, an ace flag cape, and no pants. The audience was ecstatic. Bruce was mortified.

Nightwing has never said his sexuality, but anyone who claims he’s straight is quickly met with pictures of the Discowing suit and up to a dozen laughing emojis.

Jason is sex-repulsed aromantic asexual. He’s not as vocal about it as Dick is, but he does like it to be known. He’s the type to make garlic bread/cake/world domination jokes. And ESPECIALLY dragon jokes. He kinda tends to just insert it casually into conversation, he didn’t do anything crazy to come out. It’s just a fact about him.

Red Hood claims to be sexually attracted exclusively to guns. Bruce hates this joke.

Tim is the opposite of Bruce- he’s sex-positive bisexual demiromantic. One of the few Batkids to come out while in costume- he got a concussion on a case and blearily mumbled into Bruce’s hair that he’s “you but backwards” and completely confused Bruce. Tim is a little shy about his identity, but since dating Bernard he’s been more open about it.

Red Robin is out as bisexual, but hasn’t added demiromantic to that. Tim is worried people will piece his secret identity together, since Tim doesn’t realize that most normal people are not highly skilled detectives who can tell a person’s identity from a single acrobatics move.

At the moment, Damian just thinks he’s feeling the normal “ew cooties” that most children do. In the future he’ll realize that he’s sex-repulsed ace/aro, although he’ll refuse to use those terms in favor of broodily muttering “this bloodline dies with me.” Ra’s has an actual heart attack the first time Damian says this to his face and has to go into the Lazarus Pit to recover. Talia has never been more proud.

Barbara is sex-neutral, demiromantic and asexual. She’s more outspoken about it than most of the family, and runs social media pages about disability and the asexuality spectrum alike. Aphobes and ableists that make the mistake of leaving comments often mysteriously find that their most embarrassing search histories have been sent to their grandmother.

Cass is sex-repulsed ace/aro. Steph was the one to explain sexuality to her, and also made her an ace ring. Cass told Bruce first, then the rest of the family. She’s never come out publicly- Cass doesn’t like media attention being on her- but some sharp-eyed Gothamites who are looking can spot the black ring on Cassandra Cain-Wayne’s middle finger in a few paparazzi shots the papers got their hands on. (I have a fic about this!)

Black Bat has never been asked her sexuality, mainly because she’s absolutely terrifying and nobody can stammer out the words when faced with her.

Stephanie is sex-positive graysexual grayromantic, and absolutely not shy about it. She’s almost as good as Dick at making horrible, filthy jokes. Has punched a guy in the face for aphobia, does not regret it. Stephanie is out and proud and loud about it.

Spoiler/Batgirl III have both been seen wearing a rainbow flag as a cape too many times for anyone to assume they’re straight.

Duke is sex-neutral demisexual/demiromantic, and is probably the most open about it of the whole Batfamily. He’s fully out and so is Signal, and will inevitably show up at any daytime Pride event just to say hi. Gotham adores him, and he’s practically the ace-spec community’s mascot. Can and will use the entire rainbow spectrum of light to create various pride flags over Gotham whenever he feels like it, and has started taking flag/location requests. Once turned the Batsignal gay.

Harper is sex-positive bisexual aromantic, and where Stephanie is loud about it, Harper gets violent. She carries a souped-up taser and doesn’t hesitate to use it. Has knocked at least four homophobes/aphobes out cold not counting the ones she beat up in the Narrows. Bluebird is not only publicly out as bisexual but wears two out of three bisexual colors, and while it’s not come up publicly yet, she won’t hide that she’s aromantic either. Along with Signal and Spoiler, Bluebird is one of the vigilantes that’s known for being specifically good at handling LGBTQ+ issues. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

After being forcibly outed as gay and then bullied for it, Cullen is still in the closet about the fact that he’s asexual and sex-repulsed, too. The first person he told after Harper was Alfred. By now the whole family knows, but they’ve been careful to keep it away from the media until Cullen’s ready to come out himself.

Alfred is sex-neutral, aromantic, and pansexual, though he’s older than some of those terms and doesn’t often use them to describe himself. Bruce didn’t know Alfred was anything but straight until he was almost seventeen, to which Alfred replied- signature eyebrow raise at full height capacity- that he had a career in the theater, Master Bruce, and no one who does that can possibly be typical in matters of orientation or any other aspect of life.

The outfit might seem antithetical to this, but Selina is ace too! Specifically, she’s sex-positive, heteroromantic and demisexual. The leather outfit is primarily for distraction purposes rather than true sex appeal. When it comes to Bruce, however, Selina’s more than once described herself as “morosexual.” Bruce, bless him, still has no idea what that means.

There ya go. Ace-spec Batfam. Happy Pride to everyone but especially all you fellow ace-spec folks who absolutely, 100% belong there.

[enyasaints]

EEOC Sexual Assault Lawsuit

I was sexually assaulted at my job repeatedly. I need help getting an employment lawyer to take my case. If you can spare anything I would be eternally grateful. Thank you.

Direct Aid:

PP: enyasaints@gmail.com

[angelofpearls]

i don’t have crushes i have victims of the enormity of my desire and yearning

[the-one-and-only-ruination]

Fuck toxic romance, bring back toxic QPR’s.

codependent platonic soulmates with separation anxiety are where it’s at.

[breaking-news-the-aroace-has]

The AroAce will accept no criticism. In fact, they have decided to rant about it. (found below the cut)

Some things that are Hallmarks of the classic cinematic Batman are:

-constant depression,

-emotional dysregulation,

-extreme ego and narcissism, and

-refusal to have meaningful relationships outside of casual flings.

the Lego Batman Movie, (along with every other Batman movie) highlights these character traits, and makes sure that the audience knows that they are a direct result of witnessing the death of his parents.

However, what separates Lego Batman from the rest is that he is the only one who realizes that all of those things are deeply unhealthy coping mechanisms that hurt those around him! This movie doesn't romanticize these traits like many other Batman movies. They are portrayed as what they are, and we get to witness the consequences!

Batman's giant ego, his belief that he is the best, the smartest, is such an ingrained and predictable trait that it's what allows the Joker's plan to work. Throughout the film, he discounts and demeans those who are close to him, to the point of telling Alfred, the man who took him in and raised him as his own, that he "doesn't know what it's like to have a surrogate son." He literally and metaphorically pushes everyone who cares about him away, despite them pleading for him to let them help.

It takes him being sent to (arguably) an afterlife for him to realize how much he's hurt others. And even then, at first, he denies it. However, once Lego Batman does understand this, he tries to make things right. He convinces Phyllis, (the 2x4 Lego piece responsible for the phantom zone) to let him return to his world. Upon his return he has to give up his whole, "Batman works alone" mentality, in favor of wholly relying on his friends and family. and when he tries to sacrifice himself at the end of the movie, he gives Robin the lesson that he has learned throughout the course of the movie:

"Sometimes losing people is a part of life, but that doesn't mean you stop letting them in."

Lego Batman changes for the better, and that is why he is not recalled back into the phantom zone. If this were any other iteration of Batman, he likely would have been. This is because Lego Batman is the only one who has actually taken steps to heal from his trauma and actively relies on others for emotional support. Another difference, the "others" he relies on are not romantic relationships! When most batman movies show him in a relationship, it seems to be focused on the Token Hot Woman. But in this movie, it is platonic, familial love that causes him to want to make a change. These relationships are just as valid, and, quite frankly, probably more stable for him at this point in his life.

By the end of the movie, Lego Batman still retains many of the iconic Batman traits. He still runs around at night fighting crime in a batsuit. He is still cool as hell (the character states this explicitly). and he still struggles with the trauma of losing his parents. the difference is; he no longer does it on his own.

[arguablysomaya]

jason todd would be one of those asexuals who thinks they’re bi for the longest time because they’ve figured out they have the same amount of attraction to each gender, but they haven’t yet figured out that amount is zero 💀

[littlefankingdom]

I lied. Put your clothes back on. We're going to talk about how Batman was not meant to be "vengeance" but "compassion", and how his character has been twisted through the decades that now people thinks he is supposed to be vengeance, which harms his character.

(See how here, Batman becomes a figure of vengeance from grieving Robin? Batman being vengeance is when he is at his lowest, like when Jason died, but he isn't supposed to be vengeance most of the time. Also, this is Dick.)

(And Alfred explaining Bruce is motivated by compassion not revenge.)

[starofthesea37]

How do you think Ivy’s pollen would affect an asexual person?

Realistically it would have the same effect as on everyone else, but I like to think that it would just make them Allosexual for however long it takes to wear off 😭

-

Jason, after getting hit by sex pollen for the first time: what the fuck is this. Holy fuck. Is this how you lot feel all the time!?!? This explains so much.

[allthegothihopgirls]

[oldmannapping]

Ficlet: Bodyswap (Dick-Jason and Tim-Steph)

Based on my own prompt, which wouldn't leave my brain.

This is a body-swap fic with only the awkwardness. None of the bonding. Just the weird uncomfortable parts. Okay maybe a little of the bonding.

Excerpt:

Across the Cave, a furious voice echoed off stalagmites and startled several bats.

“Why are you so HORNY ALL THE TIME?!”

An indignant, and equally-bat-startling voice immediately responded.

“Why AREN’T you?!”

It seems there was an impasse.

It’s a tale as old as time. Batfamily meets warlock, warlock fumbles a spell, warlock disappears in a cloud of smoke, Batfamily realises they’re body-swapped…

You know. That old classic.

WARNINGS: Mentions of menstruation, mentions of sex drives and sexuality, swearing

Across the Cave, a furious voice echoed off stalagmites and startled several bats.

“Why are you so HORNY ALL THE TIME?!”

An indignant, and equally-bat-startling voice immediately responded.

“Why AREN’T you?!”

It seems there was an impasse.

It’s a tale as old as time. Batfamily meets warlock, warlock fumbles a spell, warlock disappears in a cloud of smoke, Batfamily realises they’re body-swapped…

You know. That old classic.

Dick and Jason were glaring at each other. Themselves. Each other, in each other’s bodies. You've got it, it's not your first rodeo right?

It’s been three days since the unfortunate warlock incident. As well as Jason and Dick, Tim and Stephanie have also been body-swapped in a move that seemed particularly designed by the spell/universe to cause maximum rage to Steph and mortification to Tim.

Jason and Dick have refused to allow the team to be locked down because Fuck Off, You Can’t Tell Me What To Do (Jason) and Bruce For The Good Of The Team We Need Some Space Because If We Murder Each Other It Will Be Bad For Morale (Dick).

Bruce might have held out for longer but Alfred’s visiting family in England and without his arched brow of British judgement, Bruce tends to let his children pick whichever course of action seems like it will cause the least about of hassle to Bruce’s personal routine.

He didn’t love them in the Cave 24/7 either. He’s had to ship Cass and Damian off to one of his nicer safehouses because having to manage four moody, hormonal, body-swapped vigilantes was hard enough without the mental load of school pickups and packed lunches. He misses Alfred. He’s hiding in his office at the moment, getting more Wayne Enterprises work done than he has in years.

Jason and Dick, and Tim and Stephanie, have spent three days in each other’s bodies, absolutely not patrolling or going anywhere that they’re likely to be recognised, but exercising and getting coffee and generally behaving like prisoners on day release. Zatanna has assured them that these sorts of spells usually fizzle out after less than a month, so it’s just a waiting game.

Apparently, they are bored. Apparently, they’re getting on each other’s nerves again.

Jason, in Dick’s body, has just raked his hands through his hair and pulled it nearly hard enough to rip it out.

“Why are you so HORNY ALL THE TIME!?” he has bellowed.

Dick’s reaction is to pull Jason’s body to its full height in indignation. “Why AREN’T you?” he shouts back.

Jason is at the end of his rope. “Everyone you see!” he says, pointing a finger at Dick. “I was just going for a fucking RUN. I just wanted some exercise, because this fucking body can’t go three minutes without goddam MOVING. And it just wouldn’t SHUT UP.”

He’s so mad. He continues: “This fucking body checks out EVERYONE. You’re constantly just sizing people up and thinking about boning them. ALL THE FUCKING TIME.”

Dick is also mad. “That’s not true!” he rebuts. “I notice people! We’re trained to be observant! Yeah, one of the things I notice about them is attraction. That’s NORMAL. That’s what people DO. At least I’m not thinking about the best ways I could incapacitate some poor 15-year-old barista.”

Jason flares Dick’s nostrils. “I do NOT think about hurting kids.”

Dick scoffs. “No, you think about hurting EVERYONE. Everyone you see is a threat. How could I take this person down? Am I stronger than this person? Is that lady hiding a gun in that baby stroller? All day long! You think that’s normal? You think that’s better than noticing if someone’s attractive?”

“It’s more fucking useful, especially in our line of work. You think you’ll ever save the day with a heroic boner?”

“Oh my god stop talking about it!”

“I wish I could stop THINKING about it! I had to SHOWER in this goddam body. Do you know how hard it is to ignore someone else’s boner in your shower? I nearly punched myself in the dick, pun fucking intended.”

Dick makes Jason’s teeth grind. “Do NOT break my penis.”

Jason points at Dick again like he’s a giant disobedient dog. “I will get your FUCKING nipples pierced if this body has one more hard on. I’m not fucking around.”

Dick flails Jason’s huge arms. His fluid, lithe movements look very out of place on a muscle-bound heavyweight. Almost campy. “I have literally ZERO control over that right now. You realise that right? You realise you sound ridiculous.”

“You’re the one who conditioned your body to be like this. Make it stop!”

“I don’t know if you forgot about this part of puberty or if you were just too busy being angry and emo and FARTING to notice, but boners are a fact of life, suck it up.”

“Firstly, some of us actually eat vegetables - YOU need more fibre in your diet, Grayson, don’t get me started on that – and secondly, sorry I didn’t condition myself to repress freakish amounts of lust. I must have been too busy DYING and being RESURRECTED and BRAINWASHED BY THE LEAGUE OF ASSASSINS.”

“Oh my god WE GET IT, YOU DIED. You cannot use that to win every argument. Stop being so angry in my body, I can feel how gross and grouchy yours is all the time and I don’t want you infecting mine.”

“That’s funny, since I’m probably keeping your body the cleanest it’s been since you were fifteen, you horny maniac.”

“There’s a difference between feeling attraction and acting on it! It’s NORMAL to notice people in a sexual way! Don’t shame me!”

“Stop saying ‘attraction’, this is not attraction, this is Ivy-level mind-fogging crotch-throbbing run-ruining-“

“Just because all YOU think about is violence and murder, don’t get mad at me for having a sex drive!”

“I’m not mad at you for having a sex drive! I’m mad at you for making ME have your sex drive!”

“I didn’t cast this spell!”

“I know!”

“There’s nothing wrong with being sexual and expressing it with whoever I want, as long as they’re consenting!”

“I know! I support you! I couldn’t give a fuck who you bone and I don’t want to think about it, but I support it!”

“Good!”

“Good!”

Steph and Tim are standing a few feet away, watching hypnotically. Steph uses Tim’s bony elbow to nudge him in her ribs. She whispers something to him and he snorts a laugh, then freezes.

“Um,” he says in Steph’s voice, expression tight. “I think you might need to teach me how to use a tampon. Or, uh. Sanitary pad. Whichever you’re most comfortable with. Or. Um. Maybe your body just peed? Many women develop incontinence after childbirth, so it’s fine, I just. Uh. I just want to know what I’m dealing with here.”

Steph gapes at him. “Jesus fucking Christ.” She grabs her phone and swears when the fingerprint ID doesn’t work. Jabbing in her PIN, she swipes to her period tracker app. “Fuck. Un-fucking-believable.”

Ten minutes later, Steph and Tim emerge from the Cave’s bathrooms with grim expressions, not meeting each other’s eyes.

Tim, valiantly trying to remain scientific, offers, “I didn’t know it smelled different than normal blood.”

Steph digs Tim’s nails into his palms. “Stop talking.”

Tim cannot stop talking. “I just mean. I’ve been around a lot of blood, but never, you know. That kind of blood. And I never thought about how, in its basic composition, it’s not just blood, it’s also endometrial cells and cervical lining so of course it would be different.”

“Stop. Talking.”

Tim is a nervous talker. “And also, good idea on using the gloves and applicator. That way I didn’t have to touch any, um, you know, touch your, touch you when I was doing the. Yeah. Not that it would be gross or bad to touch you, I mean. You’re very. Great. And women are. So brave. Every month. But it’s just. You know. It’s not. I mean you consented, but in this situation, is it really consent, since this whole thing is kind of coercive, since you don’t REALLY have control over your-“

“SHUT UP!”

Dick and Jason raise their heads like meerkats from where they’ve ended up facing off with their phones, stubbornly shout-reading each other google search results for “normal male sex drive” and “how do I know if I’m asexual”.

“Everything okay over there?” asks Dick, Jason’s deeper voice carrying easily across the Cave.

“Fine!” say Steph and Tim in tandem.

“Totally natural and normal!” adds Tim helpfully. “We’re totally comfortable. We’re blossoming. We’re very healthy.”

Steph groans. “I cannot believe I used to date you.”

Part Two

[dclover25]

I designed a thing for the ace Batfam fans like myself!!

[kierancaz]

I KEEP FORGETTING DAMIAN IS CANONICALLY ACE BUT I JUST GOT THE ROBIN 2022 VOL 3 AND WAS LOOKING AT THE VARIANT COVERS IN THE BACK AND SAW THE VARIANT OF DAMIAN AND THAT ONE ARROW KID (I’m sorry I flipped through the whole book and no one said his damn name I couldn’t find it) IN FRONT OF THE ACE FLAG AND I WAS LIKE OMFG YESS LIKE AHHHH I LOVE THEM SM