#asexual jason todd
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i personally believe that dick knows all of the lgbtq+ community memes better than anyone in his family despite the fact that he categorically refuses to come out so it's like
dick: omg ur asexual? do you like cake lololol
jason: ...how the fuck do you know about that
dick: more of a garlic bread guy then?
jason: if you're trying to kill me from cringe, believe me, I'll get you first
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dick: it's getting cold out, gang, so dress warm. tim, no more bisexual cuffed jeans
tim: you can't call me out for that when you dress the EXACT SAME WAY, idiot
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dick: the economy's getting bad. steph's gonna have to start dating men again soon
steph: LMFAO that's pretty funnyyyyyexceptit'sactuallytrueandalsohowdoyouknowaboutthat
#dick LOVES his glass closet#shut up somaya#batfam#dcu#dc universe#batfamily#batman#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#stephanie brown#asexual jason todd#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect dc quotes#incorrect batfam quotes
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Asexual Jason Todd is actually the secret weapon of Batman.
Let me explain.
Every major female foes of the Bat used their sex appeal at one moment to distract the police, Arkham guards...
But, imagine Ivy increasing again and again and again the power of her pollen and Red Hood does not react. Maybe sneezing.
Circea trying to play whith his mind and
"Wtf are you doing ? Stop moving your hands like that."
Every teen heros getting caught lurking on Kori or Power Girl and he doesn't understand why those idiots can't start the meeting. Wtf does "My eyes are here" even mean.
Evil foreigner billionaire sending a spy to seduce the oldest boy in the family still in Gotham to steal informations on WayneTech and after a party of dancing and talking, with innuendos bigger than his arms, the dude takes back the girl in his plaza room to be sure she's safe and fall asleep on the floor.
Meanwhile the spy doesn't know if she lost her talents of if Jason has a really strong mind.
If Jason was Batman from the start, first encounter with catwoman, take 1 :
"What arrre you going to do, arrrest me ?
- Yes.
- Wait, what ?"
Jason going to college and always being invited to girls night when they're going to bars or nightclubs because they have a 6'6 werewolf with them to dissuaded the other guys and they feel secure because they can't recall one time he tried something that made them uncomfortable, or just something in fact.
Never hit on a girl, loves litterature, takes great care of his body...Jason Todd is the only gothamite unaware he's a gay icone.
#batman#batfamily#batfam#jason todd#batman headcanon#red hood#catwoman#selina kyle#asexual jason todd#ace Jason Todd#poison ivy#koriand'r#starfire#power girl#ace#asexual#asexuality#dc comics
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How do you think Ivy’s pollen would affect an asexual person?
Realistically it would have the same effect as on everyone else, but I like to think that it would just make them Allosexual for however long it takes to wear off 😭
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Jason, after getting hit by sex pollen for the first time: what the fuck is this. Holy fuck. Is this how you lot feel all the time!?!? This explains so much.
#asexual jason todd#aromantic Jason Todd#aroace Jason Todd#aromantic#asexual#aroace#batman#jason todd#dc#poison ivy#sex pollen
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asexual jason todd who leans into all the gotham fangirl's sexualisation of him for the funny sillies. (the funny sillies being: unintentionally becoming a sex symbol)
#all the nightwing fangirls shift to red hood#dick enjoys it because he gets to do patrol without getting catcalled every 5 seconds#and jason just loves the attention and doesn't think much of it#he definitely reads the tabloids that come of it though. and shows them to dick#jason todd#asexual jason todd#batboys#robin#red hood#asexual#dc comics#dcu#dc#gothihop speaks
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Ficlet: Bodyswap (Dick-Jason and Tim-Steph)
Based on my own prompt, which wouldn't leave my brain.
This is a body-swap fic with only the awkwardness. None of the bonding. Just the weird uncomfortable parts. Okay maybe a little of the bonding.
Excerpt:
Across the Cave, a furious voice echoed off stalagmites and startled several bats.
“Why are you so HORNY ALL THE TIME?!”
An indignant, and equally-bat-startling voice immediately responded.
“Why AREN’T you?!”
It seems there was an impasse.
It’s a tale as old as time. Batfamily meets warlock, warlock fumbles a spell, warlock disappears in a cloud of smoke, Batfamily realises they’re body-swapped…
You know. That old classic.
WARNINGS: Mentions of menstruation, mentions of sex drives and sexuality, swearing
Across the Cave, a furious voice echoed off stalagmites and startled several bats.
“Why are you so HORNY ALL THE TIME?!”
An indignant, and equally-bat-startling voice immediately responded.
“Why AREN’T you?!”
It seems there was an impasse.
It’s a tale as old as time. Batfamily meets warlock, warlock fumbles a spell, warlock disappears in a cloud of smoke, Batfamily realises they’re body-swapped…
You know. That old classic.
Dick and Jason were glaring at each other. Themselves. Each other, in each other’s bodies. You've got it, it's not your first rodeo right?
It’s been three days since the unfortunate warlock incident. As well as Jason and Dick, Tim and Stephanie have also been body-swapped in a move that seemed particularly designed by the spell/universe to cause maximum rage to Steph and mortification to Tim.
Jason and Dick have refused to allow the team to be locked down because Fuck Off, You Can’t Tell Me What To Do (Jason) and Bruce For The Good Of The Team We Need Some Space Because If We Murder Each Other It Will Be Bad For Morale (Dick).
Bruce might have held out for longer but Alfred’s visiting family in England and without his arched brow of British judgement, Bruce tends to let his children pick whichever course of action seems like it will cause the least about of hassle to Bruce’s personal routine.
He didn’t love them in the Cave 24/7 either. He’s had to ship Cass and Damian off to one of his nicer safehouses because having to manage four moody, hormonal, body-swapped vigilantes was hard enough without the mental load of school pickups and packed lunches. He misses Alfred. He’s hiding in his office at the moment, getting more Wayne Enterprises work done than he has in years.
Jason and Dick, and Tim and Stephanie, have spent three days in each other’s bodies, absolutely not patrolling or going anywhere that they’re likely to be recognised, but exercising and getting coffee and generally behaving like prisoners on day release. Zatanna has assured them that these sorts of spells usually fizzle out after less than a month, so it’s just a waiting game.
Apparently, they are bored. Apparently, they’re getting on each other’s nerves again.
Jason, in Dick’s body, has just raked his hands through his hair and pulled it nearly hard enough to rip it out.
“Why are you so HORNY ALL THE TIME!?” he has bellowed.
Dick’s reaction is to pull Jason’s body to its full height in indignation. “Why AREN’T you?” he shouts back.
Jason is at the end of his rope. “Everyone you see!” he says, pointing a finger at Dick. “I was just going for a fucking RUN. I just wanted some exercise, because this fucking body can’t go three minutes without goddam MOVING. And it just wouldn’t SHUT UP.”
He’s so mad. He continues: “This fucking body checks out EVERYONE. You’re constantly just sizing people up and thinking about boning them. ALL THE FUCKING TIME.”
Dick is also mad. “That’s not true!” he rebuts. “I notice people! We’re trained to be observant! Yeah, one of the things I notice about them is attraction. That’s NORMAL. That’s what people DO. At least I’m not thinking about the best ways I could incapacitate some poor 15-year-old barista.”
Jason flares Dick’s nostrils. “I do NOT think about hurting kids.”
Dick scoffs. “No, you think about hurting EVERYONE. Everyone you see is a threat. How could I take this person down? Am I stronger than this person? Is that lady hiding a gun in that baby stroller? All day long! You think that’s normal? You think that’s better than noticing if someone’s attractive?”
“It’s more fucking useful, especially in our line of work. You think you’ll ever save the day with a heroic boner?”
“Oh my god stop talking about it!”
“I wish I could stop THINKING about it! I had to SHOWER in this goddam body. Do you know how hard it is to ignore someone else’s boner in your shower? I nearly punched myself in the dick, pun fucking intended.”
Dick makes Jason’s teeth grind. “Do NOT break my penis.”
Jason points at Dick again like he’s a giant disobedient dog. “I will get your FUCKING nipples pierced if this body has one more hard on. I’m not fucking around.”
Dick flails Jason’s huge arms. His fluid, lithe movements look very out of place on a muscle-bound heavyweight. Almost campy. “I have literally ZERO control over that right now. You realise that right? You realise you sound ridiculous.”
“You’re the one who conditioned your body to be like this. Make it stop!”
“I don’t know if you forgot about this part of puberty or if you were just too busy being angry and emo and FARTING to notice, but boners are a fact of life, suck it up.”
“Firstly, some of us actually eat vegetables - YOU need more fibre in your diet, Grayson, don’t get me started on that – and secondly, sorry I didn’t condition myself to repress freakish amounts of lust. I must have been too busy DYING and being RESURRECTED and BRAINWASHED BY THE LEAGUE OF ASSASSINS.”
“Oh my god WE GET IT, YOU DIED. You cannot use that to win every argument. Stop being so angry in my body, I can feel how gross and grouchy yours is all the time and I don’t want you infecting mine.”
“That’s funny, since I’m probably keeping your body the cleanest it’s been since you were fifteen, you horny maniac.”
“There’s a difference between feeling attraction and acting on it! It’s NORMAL to notice people in a sexual way! Don’t shame me!”
“Stop saying ‘attraction’, this is not attraction, this is Ivy-level mind-fogging crotch-throbbing run-ruining-“
“Just because all YOU think about is violence and murder, don’t get mad at me for having a sex drive!”
“I’m not mad at you for having a sex drive! I’m mad at you for making ME have your sex drive!”
“I didn’t cast this spell!”
“I know!”
“There’s nothing wrong with being sexual and expressing it with whoever I want, as long as they’re consenting!”
“I know! I support you! I couldn’t give a fuck who you bone and I don’t want to think about it, but I support it!”
“Good!”
“Good!”
Steph and Tim are standing a few feet away, watching hypnotically. Steph uses Tim’s bony elbow to nudge him in her ribs. She whispers something to him and he snorts a laugh, then freezes.
“Um,” he says in Steph’s voice, expression tight. “I think you might need to teach me how to use a tampon. Or, uh. Sanitary pad. Whichever you’re most comfortable with. Or. Um. Maybe your body just peed? Many women develop incontinence after childbirth, so it’s fine, I just. Uh. I just want to know what I’m dealing with here.”
Steph gapes at him. “Jesus fucking Christ.” She grabs her phone and swears when the fingerprint ID doesn’t work. Jabbing in her PIN, she swipes to her period tracker app. “Fuck. Un-fucking-believable.”
Ten minutes later, Steph and Tim emerge from the Cave’s bathrooms with grim expressions, not meeting each other’s eyes.
Tim, valiantly trying to remain scientific, offers, “I didn’t know it smelled different than normal blood.”
Steph digs Tim’s nails into his palms. “Stop talking.”
Tim cannot stop talking. “I just mean. I’ve been around a lot of blood, but never, you know. That kind of blood. And I never thought about how, in its basic composition, it’s not just blood, it’s also endometrial cells and cervical lining so of course it would be different.”
“Stop. Talking.”
Tim is a nervous talker. “And also, good idea on using the gloves and applicator. That way I didn’t have to touch any, um, you know, touch your, touch you when I was doing the. Yeah. Not that it would be gross or bad to touch you, I mean. You’re very. Great. And women are. So brave. Every month. But it’s just. You know. It’s not. I mean you consented, but in this situation, is it really consent, since this whole thing is kind of coercive, since you don’t REALLY have control over your-“
“SHUT UP!”
Dick and Jason raise their heads like meerkats from where they’ve ended up facing off with their phones, stubbornly shout-reading each other google search results for “normal male sex drive” and “how do I know if I’m asexual”.
“Everything okay over there?” asks Dick, Jason’s deeper voice carrying easily across the Cave.
“Fine!” say Steph and Tim in tandem.
“Totally natural and normal!” adds Tim helpfully. “We’re totally comfortable. We’re blossoming. We’re very healthy.”
Steph groans. “I cannot believe I used to date you.”
Part Two
#batfamily headcanons#red hood#jason todd#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batfamily#nightwing#tim drake#stephanie brown#batman fanfiction#bodyswap au#asexual jason todd#not asexual dick grayson#sexually-ambiguous jason todd#sex-positive Jason Todd
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The best thing about reversed robins for me is that i've headcanoned both Damian and Jason as asexual, so when little Dick starts asking questions, they have to send him to RedHood!Tim, who barely has experience himself.
#they dont send him to bruce because hes a terrible role model for that#asexual jason todd#asexual damian wayne#tired tim drake#tim drake#reverse robins#the robins#dick grayson
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Jason Todd's the aroace guy who doesn't realize he's aroace but is also not oblivious to how big a driving force sexual attraction is for other people. He's the type to dislike and judge men for thinking with their dicks so much and kind of think himself better than them because of the fact that he doesn't
#my dc posting#jason todd#dc#red hood#aromantic asexual jason todd#aroace jason todd#aromantic jason todd#asexual jason todd#i don't think he'd ever call himself aro or ace. at most he'd acknowledge he's kinda queer in some type of way#i dont think he thinks on attraction too much. just how he can use it to manipulate others#especially if you go with him providing protection to prostitutes/being a pimp#like he's not interested but everyone else is and good on you for making money off that 👍#jason didn't trust adults or men when he was a kid#and even though he himself is an adult man now he still doesnt#he's been saying he wishes he were a girl/woman since he was like 10 but that's going into transfem jason now#when he was a kid and someone implies he has a crush or is lusting after someone or whatever#he'd be like ''ugh why is this idiot so obsessed with sex and why does he think i am too 😒''#basically. he knows it's a motivator for other people but just doesn't care for it himself#he doesn't have time to think about his queerness he has a goddamn revenge plot to carry out!!
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Jason Todd casually mentioning he never had sex because he died at fifteen and had some “realizations” after he came back, leading the rest of the family to think that he thinks that no one would want to sleep with him because he died and feeling terrible about it, but actually he’s just ace.
#in his defense he thought they already knew#he’s also really confused when they sit him down to try and tell him that he’s still worthwhile even if he died#(really though it was just Dick. the rest of them are too awkward too awkward to speak a word on the matter)#asexual jason todd#jason todd headcanon#batfamily headcanons#batfamily#batman
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Littol guy!!
#he’s so cute#what kind of heartless person would vote to kill him#look at him!!#such a good lil boy#reading his book#Enjoying his book#Jason just sums up this vine: Is there anything better than p***y? Yes A really good book!#Jason and that vine kind of makes me think he’s ace#asexual Jason Todd#jason todd#red hood#batman#batfamily#dc#dc comics#robin!jason
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Jason: *fixes squeaky door*
Tim: Awesome, thanks man!
Jason: No problem. You know what they say- ‘Ace is the place with the helpful hardware folk’
Tim: …I literally have no clue what you’re getting at
Jason: *disappears, but in asexual*
#i’m sorry guys this was way funnier in my head#jason 100% counts this as him coming out#asexual jason todd#jason todd#tim drake#incorrect batkids#incorrect batfamily quotes#funny bats#asexual character#chaotic batfamily#batman#batman headcanon#dc headcanon#batbros#incorrect batbros#incorrect batman quotes#bat brothers#batfam#batjokes#dc comics#dc batman#batfamily#ace jason todd
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Pride Month Aspec Headcanons Day 27
Jason Todd - DC - Asexual
Tbh I wouldn't be past headcanoning the entire batfam as different identities along the aspec lol. I'm not entirely sure why, but ace Jason has an extra special place in my heart no I'm not projecting even more with this what are you talking about
Bonus points for ace-ing another character the fandom gets wayyyyyy too nasty about.
Also back to that entire aspec batfam idea: I think it'd be fun. An entire found family of aspecs. Add that to the list of things they'd all have a 6th sense for. Compace, as it was so wonderfully put in the ace tag not too long ago, to the MAX. I love it.
#the works of b#jason todd#asexual jason todd#ace jason todd#asexual#ace#pride month#aspec headcanons
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jason todd would be one of those asexuals who thinks they’re bi for the longest time because they’ve figured out they have the same amount of attraction to each gender, but they haven’t yet figured out that amount is zero 💀
#asexual jason todd#my lifeblood my kin#batfam#dcu#dc universe#shut up somaya#batfamily#batman#jason todd#1k
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I feel very proud of this. I need to look for stuff to block it really. But it looks great against red.
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biromantic asexual jason todd… do u see the vision
#jason todd#fight me and i’ll give you an essay with panel proof#headcanon#ig#it’s truly canon to me though#ace! jason todd#asexual jason todd#red hood#i also can see him as demisexual though… all i know is he is somewhere on that spectrum
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its pride month, and you know what that means!
MORE QUEER BATFAM PFPs!!!!!!
Send any requests to my askbox and I'll make you a custom pfp :) I can do ×2 flags per pfp so send any character+flag combos my way
#tim drake#dcu#jason todd#robin#dc#dc comics#bisexual#asexual#lgbt#lgbtq#pfp#your fave is#queer#bi tim drake#bisexual tim drake#bisexual jason todd#red hood#red robin#asexual tim drake#asexual jason todd
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Jason Todd, patron saint of fed up disaster asexuals everywhere.
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