#as long as the schedule is consistent

[bamfwizard]

YALL THERE'S A JUNO STEEL EP COMING OUT ON HALLOWEEN

[kelongt]

must have heard that through the grapevine ...

[bleue-flora]

as much as I like the dsmp story and its message about how there’s a deep down, I can’t help but think about the Bojack horsemen quote about how there’s no deep down and you are the actions you do regardless of someone’s intent or backstory

[context]

I believe you are referring to this quote “That’s the thing. I don’t think I believe in deep down. I kind of think all you are is just the things that you do.” (Which btw yall its real annoying when I have to find whatever the hell you are talking about, no shade just as an aside…<3)

The thing is, both things can be true. Life is about choices, and your every action and inaction has a consequence, (which I think I’ve talked about before but I don’t feel like finding it at the moment). In other words, everything you do impacts the world around you and has lasting effects. You may not know it and are likely very unaware of the consequences (positive and negative). This is because like my post said we are all inherently selfish because we live and see the world from only one view - our own. So yes, you are the actions/“things you do” and choices you make, regardless of the intentions.

At the end of the day, whether you meant to or not, whether you had good intentions or not, if you hurt someone the facts remain the same - you hurt someone. They have a fundemental right to feel hurt and that is always valid, emotions and feelings are always valid, whether it’s logical or makes sense or not. The reason deep down doesn’t change the outcome or the hurt you caused. However, that is about the past action. If you want to learn and grow and form meaningful relationships, avoid conflict… etc. That’s where the deep down comes in. Then it’s important to look at the reasons, not as excuses or justifications but as explanations - a bridge to understanding and shattering our stereotypes, assumptions and judgement.

(Okay, my foot still hurts from you stepping on it, but yeah if it was just an accident then the relationship doesn’t have to just all end over something stupid like it would if I assumed it was intentional.) Yes the impact you make on the world is the sum of what you do and that impact is true regardless if there is a deeper reason behind it. But also, if you only focus on what people do and go no deeper, then you are missing the bigger picture and your relationships will not last long and you are going to live a very lonely and conflictfilled life.

That is why it is important. Not because in the finale of the dsmp Dream’s reveal changes any of his actions, but because it changes our perspective of him and that changes how we act next. Whether we show compassion and empathy or understanding or forgiveness of someone’s actions or run the hell away. (Whether a conflict breaks out over you stomping on my foot so I step on yours back.)

As an engineer, a nerdy metaphor I could use is that it’s kinda like if situations were an equation then the effect and action is the answer (the one side of the =), but sometimes we need to used the other side of the = to solve for x, so we can solve the next equations.

The deep down matters because it should change your action. It matters because in recent years after excusing my behavior because of something or the other, I realized ya know other people might also have a valid reason too. So while my automatic assumption of why they are late to class is that they are lazy, or rude, or don’t care, maybe maybe they actually woke up nauseous and were throwing up which prevented them from being on time, maybe they fainted coming out of the shower, maybe their car wouldn’t start, maybe they had a doctor’s appointment beforehand, maybe there was a car accident making them late, maybe there was a train blocking the road…etc. there are so many reasons, but our mind just jumps to the worst, and we expect grace from others when we are late but wouldn’t give others the same benefit of the doubt. If we had, if instead of judgment and criticism, we checked on them after class to see if they are okay then maybe we learn of their struggle, and maybe they need our help, or maybe we relate and become friends, maybe you share your notes with them, maybe you give them a hug. The deeper meaning changes what you do and like the quote says, what you do is the impact on the world…

[retros-artandstuff]

vriska + a transmasc dave doodle

[itstimeforstarwars]

I like to think that Obi-Wan has weird plants that he keeps on the ship during the war because after living with Qui-Gon for so long it's weird not to have any plants and no Cody he doesn't even like plants why would you even think that--

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Anyone else have near-perfect executive function at work; but at home, have literally no energy or motivation to do anything except lie in a dark room, with something in or on your ears for several hours?

[goldkirk]

If anyone remembers all the dental work I needed done uhhhhhhh three years ago and never went back and ran away forever…I’m finally going back to a dentist on Thursday to restart the process and face my deep and utter abiding terror. And I also scheduled my COVID and flu vaccines for a couple hours later. And my psych appointment to restart meds.

I figured get it all done in one day, have my miserable immune reaction on Friday that I seem to always get with Moderna COVID shots, and then flee directly into the weekend and never be a person again except when I’m on and off crying. It’s going to be so kind to future me to get these things done and I can do it no matter how much I feel like I am constantly about to Actually Physically Die.

[tariah23]

Whaaa my other job got back to me (the temp ageny)!!! Some 3rd shifts but it’s fine. I miss working with the agency since we get paid weekly and it’s 20 and hr for easy work 😭!!! Yippie!!!

[eulalized]

“would you watch ghibli films with me?”

a simple question, maybe a bit silly, but you’d like it if kazuha can answer it. you like that he answers your questions (or at least tries to), you know he has the patience. you think that with a scarred heart, kazuha couldn’t answer this burden of a question—yet he’s always proved that thought wrong.

“i would love to watch ghibli films with you.”

and you think now, time and time again: kazuha always knows what to say. you, aghast—or is it more of an awe?—are left with the replaying of memories for what you have done to deserve him: still, you see none. he is not just flowery words; he’s given you the reality you always wanted, because he knows that you are something more (and you deserve that much).

“you would?”

“always.” 

if it was not prominent before, i should hope it is now, kazuha thinks. he wants to stay, with you and all that you are. he wants you to know that, through and through, he would never grow tired of you or the things he’d do for you. he would sing the melodies of deities, he would recite the words endlessly in his mind and out, he would paint for you all gems of the world—and of course, it would start with you.

“and if we finish them all, we can watch them again and again, as long you like.”

you ask, “are you sure?”

(you aren’t sure of the question. is it more of the intention of are you sure? are you sure you love me this way, that you would forever? because maybe forever isn’t a long time, maybe kazuha couldn’t keep up with forever.)

“of course. i would watch anything with you,” he reassures—he always does.

kazuha says, “if you want to watch another movie, we can watch it. if you want to watch the stars instead, then we can gaze upon them.”

if his love was not yet prominent enough, what could he do? kazuha would love you better, he’d write it in the skies—he’d align all clouds to reflect the meaning of you. he’d chant of your soul and beauty, in poems and in songs, to adorn all thorns of withered petals so that you may know how much he loves you.

(he’ll keep up with you. he’ll do it for you.)

[nymika-arts]

i quite literally think my job is soft firing me so uh. check out my store lol

[disco-lizard]

i cut my hours back so i work 8hrs, not 10hr shifts anymore, and it's fucking nuts what a difference two hours makes.. like today i left work at 6:30, came home and had dinner, and my body is so used to curling up in bed shortly after that that im already laying in bed at 8:30pm 💀 it's like idk what to do with the free time so i'm like "sleepy time!!!" and my brain is already in shutdown mode despite it being so early

[shima-draws]

I had a conversation with my mom about commissions--she’s of the opinion that you shouldn’t have to wait super long to get what you paid for. I’m the opposite; I think artists should be able to take as long as they need to finish a commission, and I’m totally cool with waiting for months even for them to get back to me. Surprisingly enough I’m very patient when it comes to commissioning other people lol. Maybe I just think that way bc I’m an artist myself so I totally get the struggle. (And I also take time with my comms too.) My mom is not an artist so she doesn’t really grasp the amount of time and effort it takes, so she expects results immediately. Which like. I get that too? I dunno. What do you all think? Are you the kind of patient person who’s totally chill with an artist taking months to finish your commission? Or do you want it to be done within a reasonable amount of time, like 2-3 weeks?

[princehendir]

I had to teach myself how to have an internal clock when I was 17 btw. If I've never mentioned that before

[shimmerluna]

Fandoms: Heartstopper, Young Royals, Red White and Royal Blue, and occasional Heartbreak High

Schedule: Sat/Sun @ 15:00 UTC, Wed @ 21:00 UTC

[misano17]

I'm almost done with the prologue of my novel <<33

It's over 30 pages. I'm about to just label this thing act one and fuck up my labeling scheme cuz at this point the length is getting ridiculous.

Actually I'm god, this is the prologue, I'll probably break it up into several chapters tbh. But those chapters will be labeled as part of the prologue cuz I am god and I can do what I please.

[autisticlee]

I need a friend (or maybe actually a life partner) thats super consistent/scheduled, not flaky, probably not disabled with unpredictable flare ups/energy issues, someone with energy who can plan and get stuff done. because I cannot do it myself. I need someone very close who is like this so they can help me do things I want or need to do. come over in the morning to exercise like go for a walk or swim or kayak. come over to help me make food when they realize I forgot to eat. come over and help me change my bed sheets. sit with me while I work on something and keep me focused or help me get done easier. plan a time to hang out or go somewhere and be here at that exact time instead of forgetting or canceling.

I NEED consistency in my life. I cannot provide it for myself. I know there's people out there who are like this. the autism in me craves it. but the adhd in me rejects it and always wins no matter how hard I try. having unpredictable physical flare ups doesn't help. trying doesn't do anything. people make it clear to me that it doesn't look like I try at all. that proves how useless trying has been. I need an external force that is beyond my control. alarms and reminders are in my control so they never work. I can't be consistent with myself and flake out on myself, beyond my control. but when it comes to other people, i'll push through and stick to things for their sake. I need a separate entity that has more control over the situation. someone to do with me and not just "remind" me. but also someone that won't push me too hard or let me push myself too hard. remind me to stop and drink/eat. don't let me push through pain. remind me it's ok to rest. etc.

but finding consistent people is so hard. I can't seem to do it. I only find and attract flaky, inconsistent people. I don't know what i'm supposed to do about it. they want me to be their consistent, nonflaky friend that they can flake out on. i'm told i'm always there for them whenever they need me, and they appreciate it. but I can never say the same about them.

no one wants to help me or "hold my hand" mostly because they can't even help themsleves and expect me to do everything for them, but also people who could help just dont like or care about me enough. i'm a burden to people who don't care or value me enough. I need someone to magically care so much about me that they enjoy being my solid pillar of consistency, support, and companionship. they wake up and WANT to see me immediately, so they come over and wake me up to make breakfast and go for a walk and do chores at their house together and etc.

you can't just wait and they will show up like a pokemon you can catch and turn into your loyal companion. you can't just make someone like you. but I don't know how to make anyone like me/find people who like me for who I am and don't have the energy and spoons endlessly sort through everyone in the world for the chance of finding one i also like and feel comfortable with. I need a person that either doesn't cost energy to interact with or somehow gives energy. that'd so hard to find.

I do try, though. but it takes at least a month or two to recover from the energy and effort it takes to reach out to a single person, especially since it's me doing most of the work. so the process is slow and is wasting my life away. I don't care about the possible "one day" because i'm struggling NOW. thinking about "one day" hasn't helped improve my life one but over the past 15 years or more, i've been told "one day"

it seems to be all about either luck or being privileged to have the energy and right personality to attract the right people. I have none of those things. so I just continue to struggle to exist within my own chaos alone. merely barely surviving and not at all living.