benzebo

[benzebo]

“It’s a hell of a responsibility to be yourself. It’s much easier to be somebody else or nobody at all.”

— Sylvia Plath

[benzebo]

Favorite Spike outfits — requested by @5bi5

[benzebo]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2342

(I'm ignoring canon, happy new year's eve!) (Dialogue from this post.)

[benzebo]

When you watch the movie for the hot middle aged actor you have a crush on

[benzebo]

TRUE BLOOD | 3x01 - “Bad Blood”

[benzebo]

Back from the Fremen

(Paul x Duncan)

*

"I saw you dead."

But he wasn’t. At least not now.

Duncan wasn't dead. He was back. Back from the Fremen.

"My boy..." roared Duncan across the airfield, his face already turning into a broad laugh that immediately made Paul laugh, too.

Paul ran towards him, leaping into his arms, to express his relief with every fibre of his body. And Duncan embraced him and swung him around.

They all accepted that. Their rapture of joy. They knew they had been doing this since Paul was still a boy to Duncan.

Well, if they knew what he was to him now…

"My boy..." Duncan said again, but this time he whispered it into Paul’s ear, soft and gentle. A wave of pure happiness flooded Paul's body.

It was all right for Paul that Duncan called him that.

He knew why he said it.

And it was true anyway. He was Duncan’s, completely and utterly, even if Duncan hadn't meant it that way. And wouldn't accept it either.

No burden.

Don't give anyone a chance to hurt you.

He tried.

He tried.

*

Paul moaned.

Louder than usual.

Because he had been more afraid than usual.

Even though he wasn't allowed to be.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Pain, agony, demons, doom....

He had the feeling he could take it all.

But not losing Duncan…

He knew that when Duncan was gone, he wouldn't cry. He had done all that before.

He felt Duncan's tongue teasing every nerve, and moaned, curling his fingers into the sheets. He felt Duncan's fingers exploring his insides, and groaned, arching his spine in ecstasy.

And when Duncan entered him and thrusted into him again and again with his strong body, Paul's mind went completely dizzy.

Soon his heart raced, his lungs ached.

It was the only time he forgot who he was. It was the only time he felt light and free.

No burden.

No pressure.

Just being at the mercy of one man.

With his broad shoulders, his strong body....

Protecting him who he was.

Making him gasp, making him pant, making him feel things he would never forget.

Taking him until he came.

*

"You didn't die," Paul whispered as they lay on the bed afterwards, bodies close together, noses almost touching, fingers playing with each other's hair, caressing each other's faces.

Duncan just shrugged and smiled softly. "I didn't mean to."

Paul's heart ached.

How could he be like this? Duncan seemed to be the only person in this goddamn universe who knew how to smile, who knew how to take things lightly.

What would he be when he was gone?

For as long as he could remember, Duncan had been there for him, made him feel less lost, less overwhelmed with the life he was supposed to lead.

Yes, he was his shield, his protector, his teacher, who taught him how to fight. But he had been so much more. First a brother, his friend. And later his lover.

With him he felt joy. With him he could laugh.

Like now, when Duncan told him this hilarious story about the wild adventures of a little desert mouse and Paul could only laugh, being completely mesmerized by Duncan’s twinkling eyes, his dark but bright voice, his big protective hands that underlined his story with wild gestures. Paul couldn’t feel more comfortable, more secure, being who he really was.

But their familiar laughter and whispers were interrupted abruptly when Paul heard the heavy door open.

His mother came in.

It took her a moment to realize what was going on as her sharp voice cut the air.

"Get out!"

Duncan didn’t move but Paul himself was so shocked that he immediately closed his eyes, his body already shaking.

He felt Duncan's hand on his face, stroking him, soothing him.

And when Paul opened his eyes again, he saw that Duncan was still smiling at him.

"We're not doing anything wrong here, are we?"

"I said 'out.' Leave my son alone." His mother's voice was full of anger. And fear. Paul could hear it.

Duncan was still looking at him, so softly, his eyes shining, like shimmering heat.

Paul had never understood how someone as strong and powerful as Duncan could be so soft and gentle at the same time.

"We're not doing anything wrong," Duncan repeated, more insistently this time.

Paul knew that deep in his heart. For he trusted Duncan more than anyone else. That he only did things that were right.

So he took a deep breath, nodded slowly and stood up from the bed with an erect posture.

At that moment, he didn't even care that he was facing his mother naked.

"You're not supposed to be like this," his mother squeezed out each word with determination.

Paul tried to fight off her words like a soldier, but they hit him anyway.

How much he hated being who he was supposed to be.

How much he hated not being who he was meant to be.

How much he hated being the son of a duke.

How much he hated feeling obligated.

How much he hated having to fulfil something he was not.

"I want him here," he said in a firm voice, looking his mother straight in the eye.

"This is not your destiny. You must... "

His mother spoke no further.

"What, mother? What must I ...?" asked Paul provocatively.

But his mother remained silent, her face contorted in pain.

"My destiny will come ... No matter what," stated Paul resignedly.

And even though he didn't want to, his eyes filled with tears.

He knew it all, he knew his destiny, he knew that his dreams would come true, he knew about Duncan. But right now he wasn't ready to accept it.

For seconds he and his mother just looked at each other.

Please..., he finally pleaded without saying a word.

Please...

I need him...

And he will be gone soon...

He knew that his mother would hear every word he thought.

He could see that she still didn’t approve, that she couldn’t accept this but then, without a word, she turned and left the room.

Paul felt the tension drain from his body and crawled back into bed with Duncan, who immediately wrapped himself around him like a blanket as he pulled him against him.

His fingers wandered through Paul's curls.

“My boy…” he whispered and left a trail of kisses on Paul’s shoulder.

Yes, he wanted to be Duncan’s boy…

Wanted to be strong as him, in body and mind.

If he was to be duke one day, he wanted to make Duncan proud.

Of what he had taught him.

And today he at least stood up for them which he should have done a long time ago.

He turned around to kiss Duncan.

Deeply and passionately and with all his love for him.

"Tell me about the Fremen," he said softly, looking at Duncan with his soft and gentle smile.

Because he hoped that this would make it easier for him to accept his fate.

Somehow.

*

[benzebo]

Puncan Spice!!! Honestly the movie dynamic between them was so good! But this fic does even better! It uses a ton of the book references about Paul as the Baron’s grandson because of the Bene Gesserit breeding program with Baron Harkonnen. Brilliant fic of course! It’s eldritcher after all! <3

There was a creature on the sands. A desert mouse. Delicate and resilient. The Muad'Dib, the Fremen called the creature.  Duncan wanted to name the boy, to wipe him clean of his father’s blood, to obliterate his mother’s imprint. Let the boy be himself, delicate and resilient, as free as the desert mouse that came and went as it pleased. 

[benzebo]

[benzebo]

Stepping Backwards // It’s Like Enduring // People I Love! // Contemplation // Affectionate Gaze // Gethsemane // Worn-out Regret // Affectionate Gaze // Our Day by Day // Leaves  

Poems by Koo Junhoe (tr. by JOEM970331) 

[benzebo]

Bruno is my main bitch and he is not in it so good bye....I mean if they gonna include him and dumb him down like they did in season 1 nahhh better exclude him out...if they gonna bring him back I want to see some kind of development and his own storyline.

[benzebo]

“Anytime you’re gonna grow, you’re gonna lose something. You’re losing what you’re hanging onto to keep safe. You’re losing habits that you’re comfortable with, you’re losing familiarity.”

— James Hillman

[benzebo]

The duality…

[benzebo]

Timothée Chalamet as Paul Atreides

DUNE (2021) dir. Denis Villeneuve

[benzebo]

[benzebo]

B.I X Destiny Rogers X Tyla Yaweh - 'Got It Like That' M/V

[benzebo]

The end of ep 11 except Joe doesn’t stop Adam and Langa is.. less polite

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

[benzebo]