#she doesnt even need it because she can do it herself. shes not disabled. i guess im just too much work for people like that

[autisticlee]

I need a friend (or maybe actually a life partner) thats super consistent/scheduled, not flaky, probably not disabled with unpredictable flare ups/energy issues, someone with energy who can plan and get stuff done. because I cannot do it myself. I need someone very close who is like this so they can help me do things I want or need to do. come over in the morning to exercise like go for a walk or swim or kayak. come over to help me make food when they realize I forgot to eat. come over and help me change my bed sheets. sit with me while I work on something and keep me focused or help me get done easier. plan a time to hang out or go somewhere and be here at that exact time instead of forgetting or canceling.

I NEED consistency in my life. I cannot provide it for myself. I know there's people out there who are like this. the autism in me craves it. but the adhd in me rejects it and always wins no matter how hard I try. having unpredictable physical flare ups doesn't help. trying doesn't do anything. people make it clear to me that it doesn't look like I try at all. that proves how useless trying has been. I need an external force that is beyond my control. alarms and reminders are in my control so they never work. I can't be consistent with myself and flake out on myself, beyond my control. but when it comes to other people, i'll push through and stick to things for their sake. I need a separate entity that has more control over the situation. someone to do with me and not just "remind" me. but also someone that won't push me too hard or let me push myself too hard. remind me to stop and drink/eat. don't let me push through pain. remind me it's ok to rest. etc.

but finding consistent people is so hard. I can't seem to do it. I only find and attract flaky, inconsistent people. I don't know what i'm supposed to do about it. they want me to be their consistent, nonflaky friend that they can flake out on. i'm told i'm always there for them whenever they need me, and they appreciate it. but I can never say the same about them.

no one wants to help me or "hold my hand" mostly because they can't even help themsleves and expect me to do everything for them, but also people who could help just dont like or care about me enough. i'm a burden to people who don't care or value me enough. I need someone to magically care so much about me that they enjoy being my solid pillar of consistency, support, and companionship. they wake up and WANT to see me immediately, so they come over and wake me up to make breakfast and go for a walk and do chores at their house together and etc.

you can't just wait and they will show up like a pokemon you can catch and turn into your loyal companion. you can't just make someone like you. but I don't know how to make anyone like me/find people who like me for who I am and don't have the energy and spoons endlessly sort through everyone in the world for the chance of finding one i also like and feel comfortable with. I need a person that either doesn't cost energy to interact with or somehow gives energy. that'd so hard to find.

I do try, though. but it takes at least a month or two to recover from the energy and effort it takes to reach out to a single person, especially since it's me doing most of the work. so the process is slow and is wasting my life away. I don't care about the possible "one day" because i'm struggling NOW. thinking about "one day" hasn't helped improve my life one but over the past 15 years or more, i've been told "one day"

it seems to be all about either luck or being privileged to have the energy and right personality to attract the right people. I have none of those things. so I just continue to struggle to exist within my own chaos alone. merely barely surviving and not at all living.

[goitale]

Any headcanons or scenarios abt jesstra angst? Because being a good gf and choosing petra at every possible scenario (tractor beam/witherstorm, underground build club, pama's mind control, spleef death, Petra's sword vs jack's eye, the admin's champion) unfortunately has the side effect of depriving you of a lot of narrative angst. Same goes for choosing the nice dialog options (e.g. being nice to petra in the portal hallway)

Gimme your darkest scenarios, I'm in the mood for general dismay and everything's-awful-and-on-fire stuff. What if all the things petra went through (withering away, mind controlled potentially two separate times) accumulated and ended up taking a toll on her physically to the point where she's not really able to fight anymore (the thing that most defines her) and is sort of disabled? incoming existential crisis maybe

youre so evil i love this but it will be SOOO LONG

SO. jesstra angst! i generally dont know of angst that can happen ingame lowkey besides, well, s2 e1 intro lol. so sorry they wont be that dark!! :( but even if all is well, þere will angst ripely around the corner if i can delusion it:

-portal arc, petra gets mad at jesse leading the way and either enters a different portal or enters none , when the others go through a portal, leading jesse to feel absolutely terrible for about a day, and then petra beats herself up over it for an ingame day, and this only heals after they get to talk in the mansion. and when they DO talk about it, petra tries to derail the topic and ignore her feelings. so jesse has to break through þat wall and kt makes petra sad and like just need jesses full support for a good minute. and if you fail to do that she walks off super upset and that doesnt really heal until they escape the mansion and petra feels on her own time she can talk and even then its so tense you wish you helped her more earlier. and jesse still has that guilt for an episode more :3

-alternatively instead of jesse worrying abt petra running off in s1, she gets hella mad and they immediately argue in ep3. þis sours þeir trust heavily and petra hides the withersickness, leading jesse to mostly just talk with the group about it. and then petra never reveals it. and then petra starts dying and then jesse regrets ever being mad at her wife and they only get a resolution after petra is like mostly dead. (the lack of mental/emotional support can worsen someones' physical state so thats why this makes sense!). so petra becomes mostly out of play for ep4 and ep5 and jesse has a constant reminder of breaking her and petra's trust which also weighs down on jesse making it hard to focus on fighting and whatnot :D and also petra insists on coming everywhere because she "wants to get active as soon as she's better" (she is actually terrified of dying alone and particularly without jesse) (every death screen/shot has petra in anguish in the background to hint at this) . also when petra is at her worst from þe withersickness she spills how she felt etc to jesse and how shes scared bc "oh no what do i have to live for" and after she's healed shes like "haha umm whatever i said thats totally just the withersickness getting to me" and its super healing to watch them bond ,,, i love þem :3

-for someþing þat doesnt make þem mad but instead in absolute depression,! jesse dies to the purple old man's games (i forgot his name again ). and so for a while, petra and jesse toil away in the mines. for a long time. until em or smth helps them out. but during þis long long time , it just gets uber depressing. and they try to rely on eachother but its just so bleak- its not even worþ it anymore. and jesse already knows tim is fake. so whats the point? -- this question ends up sparking some motivation in lukas and they escape with lukas leading the way out of misery. and then after they escape the games n stuff jesse feels terrible she couldnt do what lukas did and help them and petras like omg i feel the same way and they hold eachoþer up wiþ support wiþ a lack of support for þe self and its just so. sad. but petra being petra she immediately wants to hide it and jesses like can we pls chill out :( and þey end up hanging out togeþer and heal wiþ eachoþer !! BUT the focus of þis is þeir lack of anyþing during being in þe mines but idrk what to yap abt much now so uhhh imaginationn idk

OKAY i need to stop writing before i lose my mind in the angsty depths of jesstra holy cow. feel free to send another ask if you want more yaps!!!

and ofc, ty for the ask!

[feelingbloo]

doing this all at once because im fasting and need a distraction... this shit be getting personal lmao

day 1: your stats

currently 82.2lbs as of writing

day 2: how tall are you, do you like your height?

im 4'10, no not really! definitely doesnt help my bmi out at all, lmao. id prefer to be around 5'4.

day 3: a picture of your thinspiration. what features do you like about this person?

most thinspo kinda rolls off my back and doesnt affect me, so i dont really look at it. blessing and a curse.

day 4: your greatest fear about weight loss

i only have one fear, and its my partner. she (not so subtly) compares herself to me and uses me as thinspo, and i know losing weight will only make this problem worse.

day 5: why do you really want to lose weight? are you doing it for you?

im not sure if theres a real reason anymore. everything i can think of is something that occurred after the disordered eating started, so i dont know what truly drives me. id say im doing it for myself because theres nobody else i would do it for.

day 6: do you binge? if so, explain why you think you do

of course, definitely. most times its due to an emotion, i think ive always used food as a comfort in that way.

day 7: do your parents know you are trying to lose weight? do they care?

they dont, i never told them and they havent found out. i assume my mom would care, my father sorta shuts himself off so i dont know if hed be mad about it or what.

day 8: your workout routine

im physically disabled from an unknown myopathy (my body doesnt produce enough muscle) so everything is a workout to me lmao. i generally walk around for 4-ish hours a day, since i cant quite manage anything else.

day 9: did anyone ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?

no, only my eating habits. i was often told that i ate so much i mustve had a tapeworm, and most of what i eat is "junk food" due to sensory issues.

day 10: what was the hardest thing you gave up during this weight loss?

dude, i fucking miss the liquid calories! in past restriction phases i refused to count liquid cals, and i definitely still lost weight, but not as fast as i would have liked. ive started counting them and ughhhhh.

i didnt cut them out completely, so i still have creamer in my coffee and the occasional soda, but i want my milkshake goddamnit 😭

day 11: your favorite thinspo blog and why

same answer as day 3.

day 12: what do you normally eat?

for main meals i usually have tuna on toast, egg salad sandwiches, cream cheese bagels, ham sandwiches/ham bagels, grilled cheeses, basically just carb + animal product. if we order out its either a cheeseburger or fried rice.

for sides/snacks/small meals i like string cheese, pickles, mini candies, lollipops, pepperoni, if theres any sweets in the house i have some of that.

its a wonder that i even lose weight on this lmao. but OMAD and counting cals is what makes it possible.

day 13: are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?

i dont think ive ever seen someone answer this with the former option. we're all doing this unhealthily on this side of tumblr.

day 14: whats your UGW? when do you expect to reach it?

ooh, tough one. it seems like everyone has a set UGW but i dont. i feel most compelled towards the number 73lbs, which is the bmi of my LW (15.3). i dont think that bmi is low enough for me though, i'll figure out when i get there.

ive gotten close to that weight a couple times, but ultimately something always happens and i emotionally binge or whatever. no clue about timing.

day 15: are you vegan or vegetarian? if so, has this helped you lose weight? if not, would you consider turning vegan or vegetarian?

ive had lengths of time where ive been pescetarian (vegetarian + fish), it never helped me lose weight.

at this time in my life im not able to limit my diet to that degree, but i heavily support the lifestyle for ethical and environmental reasons. if i move out id likely try veganism.

day 16: when did you first decide to lose weight?

i began obsessively weighing myself at 7, and started to learn purging around 9/10. it wasnt ever something i was serious about, but at 12 i discovered the online ana community andddd... it really just brought out that part of me. so id say 12 is where it officially began, but ive had it in me since 7.

day 17: do you have an eating disorder?

never officially diagnosed but i dont think most people here are. yes, anorexia nervosa.

day 18: what food is your weakness?

i dont restrict what type of food i eat, as long as its under my limit. but my real weakness is food other people give me... i cant resist it regardless of the calories and it makes me feel so dumb. they dont even have to be in the room! it could just be takeout, they dont even have to be the one to cook it!

day 19: when is the last time you ate fast food?

i cant even remember, i almost never eat it since i dont like it. the grease and the oils coat my mouth and throat and it feels so disgusting.

taco bell cinnamon twists are bomb though.

day 20: favorite diet?

the special k diet is funny (literally just eat special k) but i always lose a lot of weight when i do cereal-based diets like that.

day 21: what are your clothing sizes?

ehhhh,,, i dont wear fitting clothes and everything is baggy, do usually womens small or sometimes xs.

my measurements are quite small (26bust, 23waist, 28hip IIRC?) so im below a 00 in most charts ive seen. unfortunately thats just my general size due to my height, im not as thin as people imagine from that by any means.

day 22: what was your lowest weight? when and how did you gain?

73lbs at 12, my height didnt change since then lmao. i experienced some trauma right after getting to that weight, which led to me binging myself back up to 90lbs.

day 23: did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?

i think it was more personal experiences rather than the media, however the media likely did contribute once i had already established my disordered eating.

day 24: how do you feel about the terms pro-ana/pro-mia

it depends on the context. in the original meaning, it just meant a space where you could discuss your disorder without actively working towards recovery. i support that heavily.

nowadays, where it usually means people promoting ana/mia as some pretty dainty "lifestyle", fucking ew. what is wrong with you people. i understand wanting to romanticize your disorder (and find others who do the same), but i draw the line at genuinely thinking that disordered eating makes you "better" than others, or whatever bullshit they try to say.

day 25: have you ever purged? if so, describe your first experience.

i have purged in the past, but due to my disability (day 8) i typically cant vomit anymore no matter what i try. the muscle just isnt strong enough anymore to contract that violently.

first experience was harrowing lmao, i had had a bowl of instant ramen and was hallucinating as i was purging it. everything else was so distracting, i dont really remember anything about the actual purging itself.

day 26: what excites you most about reaching your UGW?

the first time i got to my LW, i just remember feeling so giddy and proud and i want that again and again.

day 27: how do you deal with being around food?

if i eat it, im not longer around it... i just have zero self control.

day 28: do you want that gap between your legs? why?

i guess so. its something a lot of people are envious of, and i knew i was happy when i had it in the past.

day 29: your definition of beauty.

this is going to sound "wrong" from an anorexic person, but chubby people. i dont have a fetish for it, i have slept with average people without problem, but i dont think i could date someone who wasnt at least bmi 23... ive found that bmi 25-27 is the sweet spot though.

i just think theres something so attractive about it regardless of gender. like hell yeah thick arms and round stomachs and back rolls. fuck yeah.

day 30: 10 facts about you! and now, what are your stats?

oh god what is this, an interrogation? not saying stats since im doing this in one go.

i draw (hobbyist, nowhere near professional)

i collect animal bones and general knick knacks

garfield and miku are my favorite characters

i tap on everything

i wanted to be a veterinarian as a kid

favorite animals are polar bears and hammerheads

my grandmother wanted me to be named tapestry (what??)

i have dyscalculia

i enjoy making cookies

i can barely whistle

[silurisanguine]

OC mega Q&A

I did this many moons ago for my Deus Ex OC Zofie Orel from this user's posts. The original posts seem to have vanished but credit where credit is due. I've also added a section from this post as well. Now i'm going to do it for Seren Jones as it really does flesh out her character quite a bit, even more so that i've already done. It's also a good reference to show anyone who asks. I'll tag the Coemancer crew if you fancy doing it for yours and anyone else who wants to give it a go.

LONG post behind cut.

BASICS

What’s their full name? Seren, (Coe) Jones. She takes the Coe surname in her OG verse after marrying Sam, but drops it again whilst Starborn so as not to draw attention to herself. She plans to take it again should the stars align.

What does their name mean? Why were they named that? Seren is welsh for Star. She understands the irony. Her parents named her Seren after her mum saw her open her eyes for the first time and knew she'd want to explore the stars. Her father being a history professor with interested in the cultures their ancestors came from suggested the Welsh word for star.

Do they have any nicknames? Star, Ren. She also went by Dusty James when in the protective programme.

How old are they? 30 years old as of the start of her story.

When’s their birthday? 12 9th month 2300 Akila City

What’s their zodiac sign/element/birthstone/etc.? Do they believe that holds any significance? Earth astrology means nothing in space. She has no idea and doesn't care.

What’s their species/subspecies? Do they have any special/magical abilities? Starborn. All the powers that come with that. She is naturally empathic and can sense the emotions of others, which is both a benefit and hindrence. She now also has the ability to manipulate minds, thanks to Ryujin. She uses it as a tool should the need arise, but doesnt rely on it.

What “class” do they belong to (for fantasy characters)? If none, what weapon do they favor? They favour the Va’ruun Inflictor rifle, Hard Target sniper rifle and Magsheer. Occasionally using a Big Bang or Breach shotgun for close quarter’s ship fighting. Her specialities in her og verse were stealth, but since becoming starborn, she has developed more close quarters fighting skills that utilise her abilities. APPEARANCE

What do they look like? 5’5” athletic build woman. Original universe she had a silver coloured pixie haircut, Currently sporting a turquoise blue bixie cut. Has a few tiny scars on her face from mining, one on her forehead, the other on her jaw. She has a body encompassing tattoo of a trail of stars around her body. She now also has a band tattooe'd around her ring finger to symbolise the wedding ring she lost.

Do they have a face claim? Myself in my 30s but with full health and video game perfect.

What’s their style like? Clothes, hair, makeup? Her original universe she wore sleek modern dark clothing. Whether it be formwear or suits. Now she wears what ever is comfortable under her starborn suit which she mostly wears. She does prefer dark colours still and prefers formwear, cargos and long sleeve tops or settler wear in shades of black. She does like to wear makeup, sticking to smoky eyes and dark lipstick. Her hair is one of her signature things and the blue colour is because of a certain pendant someone once wore.

How do they carry themselves? What’s their default expression? Her Og verse, she carried herself with humour and a twinkle in her eye. Since becoming starborn, she’s become more reserved and there is a constant sadness in her eyes.

Do they have any physical ailments or disabilities? Not any more. Noel once called her the physically healthiest person she’s ever met- One benefit of becoming Starborn. Mentally though, she is traumatised and has higher functioning depression.

Any defining features to their character? Her accent isnt definable as she moved from Akila to New Atlantis a few times. She now doesnt really have an accent but can take on any and often does when in proximity to them, becoming more Akilan the longer she is there and same in New Atlantis.

PERSONALITY

What’s their alignment? Chaotic good. She is compassionate and believes in doing good, but she hates beurocracy and sees the corruption in both the UC and FC. But she loathes the Crimson Fleet, seeing them as nothing more than 'coloured coded Spacers'.

Which one of the 16 Personality Types do they fit into? She finds that whole thing very problematic and does not subscribe to it.

What are their hobbies and interests? Do they have any particular “favorites” (food, books, and so on)? Houseplant gardening, Music and reading. She also now loves customising her weapons. She secretly loves Chunks cheesecake and cherry Boompop! She can cook, but tends not to bother much by herself. Though she did learn to cook her grandpa's famous meatloaf after the recipe was passed to her. Favourite book is Bram Stoker's Dracula.

What are they bad at? Delegating. They have a perfectionist streak and feel they need to do everything themselves to make sure it's done right.

What kind of things do they dislike/hate? Cruelty, The Hunter, The Crimson Fleet in the OG verse, Corruption, Injustice and evil corporations.

Do they have any vices/addictions/mental illnesses? Her main ‘vice’ is always having bourbon or a Solomon beer on her person to toast the universe she leaves. She also has higher functioning depression.

What are their goals and motivations? To find a universe she can finally stop in and find a Sam she can be with again after losing the love of her life in her OG verse. To survive until then.

What are their manners like? Any habits? Her OG verse , she was polite at first until she got the measure of someone. Now she knows people, she behaves exactly as she needs to. Habits - saving every fishbowl, jellyfish tank and plant from ships. She also always toasts a universe before she leaves it.

What are they most afraid of? Never finding ‘home’. Finding a Sam she hates.

BACKGROUND

Where were they born? What was their childhood like? Akila City. But at 5 left and moved to NA with her parents. Start of war left NA and returned to Akila at 8. Stayed there until she was 16 when her dad got a new job in NA uni and moved back there again. She was a lone child and was bullied most of her childhood due to being Freestar in UC space, then an expat back in Akila. She was nerdy and kept to herself, a little baby goth that liked to read and learn things. She had few friends, most expats like her that stuck with each other until something better came along for them, often leaving her alone again. Wasn't until she went to university she started making friends that had similar interests to her.

What’s their family like? Her dad Michael is a university professor, occasional poker player and the one who showed her how vital a good education is. Her mum Anne mostly worked in the diplomatic sector, as an assistant to the consulate dealing with businesses. She taught Seren how to deal with both. Seren had a good relationship with her parents, though as a kid didnt fully understand why they had to keep moving. But it forced her to have a strong sense of independence that allowed her to survive her life now. She misses them dearly but hopes they are doing well with the vast amount of money she left them. She avoids meeting them in the new universes, especially ones where she doesnt know what happened to the Seren of that universe.

What factions or organizations are they a part of? What ranks and titles do they hold? She was born in Akila City, so is Freestar Collective. She believes in what they stand for, but doesnt ignore the corruption with the governors. She became a Ranger because of her sense of justice, though hates the black and white views of some of them and the corruption in others. In her OG verse she also joined the UC Vanguard as she realised very quickly there was a bigger story going on that would effect the whole settled systems. Same reason for joining Sysdef to take down the Crimson Fleet. Other accomplishments of her og verse were being a Ryujin operative that managed to prevent the Corp from releasing some dangerous tech. Of course her title now as Starborn brings it’s own complications and accomplishments in each universe she travels through.

How do they fit into their “story”? She was in protective custody under a cover name Dusty Jones, working as a miner. The day she was told the company she had become whistleblower to, was no more was the day she was asked to collect what ever was in that cave on Vectera. She became the lead explorer of Constellation due to her connection to the Artifacts and ended up becoming Starborn after losing everything that meant anything to her in her original universe.

Where do they currently live? What’s their place like? Now? On their ship: The Valkyrie. Before she builds that, her Guardian ship and sometimes the Lodge beds to rest. Before that in her OG verse- the Lodge, her home in Akila and her cabin aboard the Star Eagle. The Guardian of course is minimal. She adds a bed roll to one side and any cuddly toys she finds she places them around her cockpit seat as it amuses her. Same with fishbowls and jellyfish tanks that she puts by the main viewing window. Once she's built the Valkyrie, she sets it up with an infirmary as the first thing you enter upon, crew quarters one side should she chose to have some and her captain's quarters the other, which is always a Nova galactic hab as its cosy and has a built in galley. Upstairs is a workshop and small internal storage. Her priority is always have a cabot4 bridge so she can avoid ladders. Her home in Midtown, Akila in her og verse was cosy, mixing Akilan furniture with more modern New Atlantis stylings. One day she might rebuild it.

How do they eventually die? She’s ‘died’ many times already. Each time she enters the Unity her body dies and part of her being joins that universe, the rest being reborn again in a new verse. She hopes one day she’ll find her new home to stop in and die of old age with the one she loves…and maybe start all over again when they feel like it.

RELATIONSHIPS

Do they have any friends? Would they consider anyone to be their best friend? She was best friends with Sam. Also in her og verse she was great friends with Andreja and Barrett. To a far lesser extent Sarah until after she loses Sam, where Sarah is a great comfort. She found it easy to make friends with lots of people around the systems too. Now? She has become friends with her counterpart from one universe and the Sam they are married too. It always ends though, so she tries not to become too close to anyone.

What’s their friend group like? What role do they play in it? Before - like family. As an only child who was bullied growing up, she didn't really have friends. So to be with people who accept and get her was a wonderful feeling. She was part of Constellation and became almost the main go person thanks to being connected to the Artifacts the group were looking for. Now She is quite the self imposed loner. Sometimes guiding those she likes in a verse she comes across, helping them in some way. She sometimes takes crew aboard her Valkyrie so she isnt so alone, giving them her ship before she leaves that universe.

What’s their love life like? Do they have any kids? She was married to Sam Coe. They had an incredible relationship of best friends, soulmates and lovers. Passionate and full of fun. But he was killed by the Hunter in her Og verse and she has been in mourning since then. She became the closest thing to a real mother Cora Coe ever had considering how bad her birth mother was, but lost her when Sam died and Lillian took her. She will meet that Cora again some day though.

Who do they look up to? Who do they trust? She admires her parents for doing what ever they had to do to keep her safe and comfortable during the Colony War. She admires/d Sam for how he turned himself around and became such a wonderful father to Cora. So far, the Sams she's met, she would trust, even the one who was cold to her, because she understood his reasoning.

Who do they hate? Do they have any enemies? The Crimson Fleet. The Hunter, Lillian Hart and Jacob Coe. Benjamin Bayu, Vae Victis. They made plenty of enemies in her og verse, what was left of the Crimson Fleet for one and who ever Vae Victis was working with.

Do they have any pets? No. She always wanted a cat, but they were too expensive and being she is Starborn now, it isn't fair to have one (cats are seen in a movie poster so i think they exist, we just never see them). Perhaps when she finds ‘home’ she’ll get one for her final home. She does save all the fishtanks and jellyfish tanks though for her ship, who get to see space as she sets them in her cockpit.

Are they good with kids? Animals? She adores Cora like a mother. She never thought she’d feel that way, but Cora is special - also a teenager. She still doesnt go googly over babies. She has no intentions of more children and isn't even sure Starborn can have children. But adopting might be on the cards..maybe. She likes animals and prefers not harming wildlife, using creator's peace on agressive species. FACTS

Which tropes do they fit? Which archetypes? The Hero, The Chosen One, The Sage and Explorer all rolled into one.

Do they play any instruments? Sports? She likes to sing along to songs when she’s alone. She is naturally stupidly fit thanks to her new nature, but as an explorer keeps it that way.

What are some items they always carry? Her favoured weapons, medical packs, alien boba tea and Chunks cakes. Bourbon. Lots of credits.

Do they collect anything? Her ship Valkyrie. Fish and jellyfish tanks. Succulents.

What position do they sleep in? Side sleeper, curled up usually with a plushie for comfort.

Which emoji would they use the most? :cowboy:

What languages do they speak? Standard universal (Mix of British and US English). Akilan slang.

What’s their favorite expletive? Shit.

What’s their favorite candle scent? Amber and vanilla.

What songs remind you of them? Evanescence - Far from Heaven and Starset - Telescope

Which animal would you say represents them? A russian blue cat.

What stereotypical high school clique would they fit into? The weirdo.

What would their favorite ride at an amusement park be? Rollercoasters. She loves swooping around in her ship during combat.

Do they believe in aliens? Ghosts? Reincarnation or something else? She believes the Creators are something otherworldly and she still believes some planet has sentient aliens comparable to humans. But she’s seen plenty of alien creatures! Ghosts? yeah she believes in them after finding the Pale Lady. Re-incarnation? Does Unity count because she’s been reborn a few times now.

Do they follow any religions/gods? Do they celebrate holidays? Her parents are both Enlightened and she does agree with the philosophy, though doesn't practice. Even with becoming Starborn, she can't subscribe to the Universal view. She refuses to celebrate UC Foundation day, but does enjoy the Solomon festival in Akila. ( Earth equivelent US 4th July and UK Midsummer)

Which Deadly Sin do they most correspond to? Which Heavenly Virtue? Not catholic so closest might be wrath for her hatred of The Hunter. Virtue? Compassion.

If you had to choose one tarot card to represent them, which would it be? Strength: UPRIGHT: Strength, courage, persuasion, influence, compassion. REVERSED: Inner strength, self-doubt, low energy, raw emotion. Both aspects fit her. SOCIAL

How does your OC feel about their full name? They find it quite ironic their name means star, when they are in fact Starborn. But she loved when Sam called her his star, so she loves her name.

What do strangers notice about them first? Her eyes usually. they are very pale green and striking, usually accentuated with makeup to enhance them. next would be her hair colour, which is usually unnatural.

How does their social personality differ from how they act when they’re alone? In her OG verse she comes across as polite and professional to strangers but also empathetic due to her natural ability. As The Marshall once said, she could sell dirt to a dusty (aka miner.) She's quite chatty and enjoys company. Alone, she talks to herself whilst doing things and especially now as Starborn where she finds herself alone a lot she often sings to herself. (the Guardian ship has great acoustics she'd found.

How do they act around a crush? She was smitten the first moment she saw Sam and worked very hard to make sure he got her signals. But always behaved as a friend would to him, just now and then dropping hints that she was interested.

Do they have a “tell” for when they’re lying? No, she has a killer 'poker face'. If only she knew how to play poker. But It's how she was able to fool the Crimson Fleet when she went undercover in them, playing them whilst taking their support from them. She enjoyed being the Mantis in her OG verse, seeing as much like one of her favourite earth movies Atomic Blonde.

What do they smell like? In the OG verse, her signature scent was amber, Akilan bloodrose and vanilla. She's been told she now has a incense like scent they can't place. She wonders if all Starborn smell like that?

What is their hair texture like? Very straight, silky thick hair.

How much jewelry do they wear, and do they have a favorite or distinguishing piece? She wears two sets of little hoops in each ear, which she gets redone every universe. She once had a platinum wedding ring, made from metal she mined.

Do they have a word or phrase that they tend to overuse? My Sam.....

What is a weird quality that they have (ie their hands are always cold, they’re always hungry, they snort when they laugh, etc)? Apart from the fact they are a being beyond space and time now? ... They have a high tolerance for alcohol, it seems even more so now as Starborn.

What color do they look strikingly good in? Deep dark red or teal blue. But they look and feel great in black. Andreja would be proud.

How do they show affection to someone they love? Small touches of affection, making them a hot drink when they wake up, Finding them little gifts that mean something personal to them. Having a secret language that includes jokes only they get. Always having their back.

Do they make strong/frequent eye contact when they talk to someone? Yes. Their eyes often reflect the emotion of the person they are talking too.

What attributes do they have that are inherited from their parents or shared with their siblings/other relatives? Courage and stubborness, compassion and empathy (the latter from her mother. )

Are their greatest flaw and their greatest strength related and in what way? (ie very caring and helpful but a doormat, or very observant and shrewd but often paranoid) Being stubborn can be both an asset and a flaw!

How has their childhood affected the way they view an aspect of their life (people, education, society, themselves, etc)? She saw the two main factions of the Settled Systems as a child and how it treated a child, so as much as she is more a Freestar supporter she knows it isnt perfect. She was often alone and is cautious about making friends although she desperatly wants companionship.

[bridgyrose]

Ruby starts to call Cinder her "Sin-a-min stick" and Cinder gets annoyed with her girlfriend.

“I love you sin-a-min stick.” 

Cinder paused for a moment as she tried to process what she had just heard. “What did you call me?” 

Ruby grinned a bit. “I called you my sin-a-min stick.” 

“Is that because of the sweet heat you feel every time we kiss?” Cinder asked as she kissed Ruby. “The lingering spice that you know you love?” 

“That might be part of it, but mostly because I feel like I’m sinning every minute I’m around you. Get it? Sin-a-min, sin a minute?” 

Cinder’s smirk dropped to disbelief as she watched Ruby put up a big grin and make finger guns at her. She pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a heavy sigh. “Just like your sister, arent you?” 

“She thought it was good and Weiss laughed at it when I ran it by her.” Ruby leaned into Cinder. “Besides, maybe it’ll stick.” 

Cinder rolled her eyes and pushed Ruby off the couch. “No.” 

“Ow!” Ruby rubbed her back and giggled. “Okay, I deserve that. But I can totally come up with worse pet names for you.” 

“I’m going to regret this, but try me.” 

“Firestarter. Ashes. My loving campfire-” 

“Okay okay, you win.” Cinder sighed and moved over on the couch to give Ruby some room. “Sin-a-min stick can stay. Still terrible.” 

Ruby got up and sat down next to Cinder. “Okay, then you give me a terrible pet name.” 

“You know I dont do those.” 

“There’s a first time for everything.” 

“And I’d still rather not.” Cinder sighed and pulled Ruby close to her, mechanical fingers resting against her girlfriend’s thigh. “Besides, you know our relationship isnt exactly like that.” 

“I know, but that doesnt mean you cant have fun with it.” 

“I call you my girlfriend, isnt that enough?” 

Ruby sighed. “Alright, if that’s enough, then I’ll accept it.” 

Cinder nodded and tried to relax, her fingers clicking as she moved them down Ruby’s leg. “I do see you as more than a friend, and while I’ve managed to talk myself into allowing myself to call you my girlfriend, we both know that title is only for show.” 

Ruby nodded and turned around to look at Cinder, a soft smile on her lips. “Then I’ll accept what we have and what you’re willing to call me.” 

Cinder nodded, then winced as her prosthetic started to tighten up, her fingers growing stiff and no longer moving. She quickly moved herself and used her other hand to loosen the prosthetic and take it off. “Stupid arm…” 

Ruby’s smile slowly faded. “Giving issue again? Didnt we just have Doctor Polendina look at it?” 

“Yeah.” Cinder finally unlatched the arm from her and sighed as she made her way to the table. “But you know how our missions go and the strain aura puts on this. Even the best made prosthetics cant handle the abuse we give them.” 

“Then… maybe its time you retire.” 

Cinder paused in her step and slowly looked over at Ruby. “Retire?” 

Ruby nodded and sat up. “You’re always going off on dangerous missions for Ironwood and Ozpin, and this is the fifth time we’ve needed to get your arm looked at and… maybe… its time for my sin-a-min stick-” 

“No, I’m not going to retire. I know I’m disabled, but I can still do the job.” 

“And what happens if you lose another limb out there?” 

Cinder sat down at the table and started to take her prosthetic apart. “Then… that’s a bridge we cross when we get there.” 

“But Cinder-” 

“We both know the dangers of being huntresses. Its what we signed up for.” 

“And I refuse to lose you like I lost my mom!” 

Cinder tensed up a bit and slowly looked over towards Ruby, who was trying to hold back a few tears. “Ruby…” 

“Do you realize how much you worried me when you lost your arm in the first place? Yang lost hers while trying to keep a village safe, but she at least had the rest of us to back her up. But you… you went off on your own for Ironwood and I didnt hear back from you until you were in the hospital getting patched up. And you still dont talk about what happened out there.” 

“Because it doesnt concern you right now.” Cinder sighed and looked back at her arm, her other hand shaking as she tried to unscrew one of the panels to the arm. In the back of her mind, she could hear Tyrian taunting her about Ruby as she tried to keep herself steady. “I’m… not ready to talk about it yet. But when I am-” 

“Its been five years, Cin. When will you be ready?” 

“Maybe when all of this is over.” 

Ruby frowned and then sat down again. “You know I worry about you.” 

“I know.” Cinder pulled the panel off her arm and started to look over the wires to make sure nothing was frayed. “Things are… complicated and the last thing I need is for you to get involved with this.” 

“Are you ever going to tell me what you’re involved with?” 

“You know what sounds good right now?” Cinder quickly started to patch her arm back up and re-attach it to her. “Pizza. I’ll go pick some up. You’re still a fan of that weird anchovy one, right?” 

“You’re changing the subject.” 

Cinder grabbed her coat and put it on. “Pizza first, then I’ll tell you everything. Deal?” 

Ruby nodded. “Fine.” 

[skybristle]

19 + 23

since u didn't specify i'll do whoever first comes to mind with the question

19 - Does your iterator know who Sliver of Straw is? If so, what do they think of her?

sparks: i think it's interesting because she's basically the only iterator in bh who's still really commited to the great problem after mass ascension [starlight and ash were pretty diligent too but broke off after the ancients left].

it's mainly out of *needing* something to do to distract herself from the pain and the itchiness in her expanded structure. and she's always been a Very innovative and unique thinker, she is genuinely somehwat famous for pioneering a lot of methods and etc that iterators use while iterating. always coming up with new things, always thinking. and i think thats kind of a manifestation of how desprate she is to be free of her pain and escape. she needs out of this can she needs out of this body and it all hurts and she needs *out*, she needs ascension, she needs to leave all this pain behind. if only there was a perfect string of code to execute to do so. and that's exactly what sliver found.

sparks probably WAS one of the people combing through her remains, desprately, desprately trying to find something. as cycles passed and nobody found anything conclusive and that flare of hope began to die.

i honestly think that hopelessness and that denial of an escape and sparks beginning to realize oh god this might all be for nothing and i might never find a way out is what slowly begins her spiral into wrath and eventual violence in an attempt to make it stop hurting.

oops i just talked about sparks. i love you sliver of straw go make my girl worse

23 - When using overseers, what is your iterator's favorite thing to watch/look at?

chimes: there's a slugcat colony near his can he fucking LOVES watching. just. watching them do their thing. the colony trusts him and doesnt' mind him around so his overseers are even allowed to see The Tiniest Babies and yes chimes exlodes into tears every time. theyre so little. So microscopic and weenie. Single celled ass organisms like those really fucked up baby kittens. he just really appreciates their way of life and in a way his relationship with them reminds him of that with his citizens who he misses dearly and used to spend much of his time observing and helping. his overseers also probably act similar to the tutorial one in that it tries to help slugcats find food, warn them of danger or approaching rain, etc etc. he archives and catalougues a lot of the slugcats and their victories and liniages, just as he once would for the citizens of chorus. the local colony is actually quite developed since they refuse to 'leave chimes behind' [as they believe his immobility is something like a disability]

he also does like scavs though they just don't enter his can so he hasn't gotten as close to them. finds their soceities interesting to observe though....

[letmeoutofthebasementt]

can I ask your honest advices on something personal? so I get next to no communication from a now former friend, I had some hunch to ask a reader if said friend dislikes me and the answer came back as yes so I recently googled if ignoring someone or not reaching out to them via texts can count as them being jealous or having some dislike? yet they still send the bday present and xmas card or present as do I but I feel like its a cheap way when I know she practically lives online but I barely here from her so I dont really know what to do? we havent met in years and she makes next to no effort to seem interested in what im doing even if I try to take interest in herself as a friend it feels very one sided even when we used to meet up it would always be about her and never any follow up questions.

I know she has a disablity of some kind however the effort she puts into her other friends is vastly different. if she messages me its once in a blue moon and only to ask if I want to do a quiz, now I stopped checking my online profiles so much because like it seemed she was much more into what she got from others i dont want to feel desperate by constantly trying to fix whatever this "friendship" was supposed to be. do i ask her or do i wonder about it? if she dont tell me how am i gonna know what to do about it because many ppl been like her even when I was in school I was always dealing with ppl who pretended to care when they didnt. I didnt know any better then so it feels like ppl r just only using me if they need me for that certain point otherwise they fuck off and find "better friends" elsewhere like am i that replaceable or weird?

is this petty of me to want to ignore her back or is it mostly her behaviours towards me? the thing is I have dealt with many ppl like her and it doesnt put her in a good light it gives trying to be nice to my face but for all I know she could be chatting shit with someone about me? and shes quite popular online. hence why it feels like im always bottom of her priorities since always having to instigate a conversation felt like conversing with a brick aka it was going nowhere. I know her disability cant prevent her from being a decent person but do I just leave her? yet this whole present giving thing really isnt it for me. its giving oh I will just send her something to make it seem like she cares when she dont message or try to get in touch nor does she want to meet up. all her messages in recent years have been so short almost too blunt

does this sound like jealousy or regular dislike? sorry for rambling again but im so effing tired of these types of ppl who act like they care to have a friendship but then half ass their way out of it, it doesnt help that we moved since long ago so we cant be closer physically as friends. But I feel like my existance bothers her for some unknown reasons. as I told the tarot reader im nothing special heck im not the popular one she is if anything I would guess she was quite popular that she simply didnt need me? You would think if we was real friends she would make a bit more effort cause sometimes theres things I wanna tell her but am like wait she dont care so im not gonna bother cause she want certain replies and comments yaknow?

thanks so so much in advance if you read all of this!!! I love your blog and readings so felt comfortable to ask you for your thoughts hope you dont mind the rant there!

Honestly that’s an awful situation to be in. In my opinion, it’s not necessarily jealousy. She just doesn’t like you, point blank period.

Now, I can admit I’m the type who’s on my phone a lot but can sometimes miss people’s messages, and I’m not good with reaching out first. But that’s not a good behavior. And at least if she liked you she’d be interested when you’re talking, which is something I do. And she’d be there for you. And at least she could come around to responding eventually instead of flat out ignoring you and only contacting you when she needs you.

It seems like to me she’s keeping you around so she can have more people clinging to her and chasing her to fuel her ego. It’s more an ego thing than a genuine like. She does not like you. I’d bet she doesn’t even necessarily tolerate you. But she likes your attention.

She likes the experience of being worshipped and chased. Knowing she doesn’t have to try and you will just chase and follow her to the ends of the earth.

[familyagrestefanblog]

Huh, this is an excellent point. I'm also noticing more and more how ableist Marinette is consistently written to be. I kinda kept from looking further into it cause it's one of those things I can't come back from in how I view Marinette once I saw it, but honestly, that barrier was already crossed once I rewatched Chameleon and Revelation. I might as well just do it properly.

Ngl, I'm bumped to realize that "Guilt trip" ties into this, but you are correct, the message of Rose's "my disability doesnt stop me from living my life to the fullest or change anything about how I live" really gets a nasty undertone when you realize that this means Rose is a "good" disabled person who doesnt NEED anything and is only here so others get virtue points for being well-meaning people (interesting how it was Adrien specifically who handled Rose's situation the best).

It's the narrative opposite to Lila in "Chameleon". Rose is a GOOD disabled person for not asking for any help or accommodations and instead explicitly ask her friends to not do anything whatsoever to possibly make even the tiniest accommodation for her disability in their dynamic with her. Unlike the awful LILA who's actions said that making accommodations for disabled people is normal and kind, but the show's message is that this is taking advantage of people and every claim should by default be questioned and tested.

Besides, of course, for Maribug. She's the only character who is portrayed as unconditionally entitled to support and accommodations and its outright abuse of the worst kind to npt always put her feelings, comfort and benefit first. Whereas Adrichat, Chloe and Lila/Cerise are primarily used to get the message across that thinking others could need it too is offensive and wrong. So again, only Marinette gets to have it.

And it really sucks that Rose is now part of this message too because while her friends were too overprotective in "Guilt trip", it's not like they had fundamentally bad instincts. Especially when you put the bathroom scene into perspective. The day prior her friends found out that Rose didnt just go to the school nurse, she straight up ended up in HOSPITAL. Their instinct to keep track of the time Rose took in the bathroom is not at all bad in my opinion, it just needed better guidance. The episode even has Max explicitly bring up that they waited until the average time people spend in the bathroom was over and then Kim added that he was 5 seconds away from breaking down the door.

For the love of God, Rose was in the HOSPITAL one day ago and not for no reason. It feels pretty awful now that the episode had Max and Kim say those two things in particular just to have the message be "dont do that for your chronically ill friends". In my opinion, the only things wrong about that instinct was that everyone got involved and Rose didnt got a saying in how long her friends are supposed to wait before checking on her in the bathroom. Cause this is the kind of stuff that goes well 200 times until it doesnt and then you wished someone would be checking on you.

That's actually a pretty dangerous message to send to kids. And I hate that it is very obviously always in service of pushing the narrative that ONLY Marinette should be given support, care, and accommodations for whatever she wants and needs next. Everyone else just needs to get over themselves and stop being selfish so people instead have the time and energy to devote themselves to Marinette.

I'm being harsh on this now because I have no faith in this Rose situation not ending up in a disaster in Ladybug's full-time team now in the new arc. You cannot tell me it's in any way out of character for Marinette to mid-battle completely forget about how serious Rose's illness can get and her then demanding of Pigella to push herself too far despite Rose trying to tell her that she needs a break. I have NO faith that Marinette will handle that well and I wouldnt be surprised if Marinette afterwards awkwardly attempts to safe face by asking Pigella "why she didnt tell her about her serious illness, then she would have taken it into consideration for the mission" to which Rose will then have to take the blame and be thankful that Ladybug still views her as worthy of being in her team despite her illness that can get in the way.

Call me a hater however you want, this is perfectly in line with Marinette's writing. I would be surprised if the show doesnt have exactly THIS happening once Rose's illness is an inconvenience to Ladybug's leadership. No way in hell is Marinette gonna remember shit about the dizzy spells, but at least it's by now very plausible to expect ADRICHAT to then be the one to take perfect care of the whole disaster to make up for Maribug's lack of consideration.

New challenge. Watch Guilt Trip Of ML Season 4.

I did?? Like a while ago?? Did you not read the disclaimer orrrr

Also. In all seriousness. Guilt Trip also isn't done very well in terms of dealing with a character having a disability, with it being like "yeah, she doesn't NEED all this help even though she has a disability cause disabled people aren't fragile and helpless" which is a good message but it's not done well. And it also just makes Marinette look like more of an ass in retrospect because she was only willing to accommodate rose cause they're ~friends~ and rose is good so she can't be lying about her disability! Unlike that super liar Lila who is definitely lying >:( because she's evil >:( (and yes she was lying and the only reason why is so Marinette can have an excuse for her horrible behavior)

Also juleka tells rose's secret without her consent to the entire class (not cool) and rose is also a common archetype of a character who "has a disability but that won't stop me from living life to the fullest!" Except it's only brought up in this episode and never acknowledged again because MLB doesn't know how to write characters with disabilities.

Oh and also they do that stupid thing where they only really focus on how sad their poor loved one must be, having to worry about them all the time :( /s which is a very common and quite ignorant thing that always happens when writing disabled characters.

It's not a good episode. Like. At all. The only thing it does is make Marinette look like the worst type of ableist person and prove that the writers should not be allowed to touch this topic ever again.

I'll be honest I don't think it's marinette or juleka's fault that they do such fucked up things because it's obvious that the writers are trying to frame their actions in the right and act like what they're doing isn't fucked up.

The problem is the writing not the characters themselves. Their personalities get pushed and pulled in the direction that the plot needs to move forward. I know I sound like I think Marinette sucks but it's not her it's her writing. Does that make sense

Edit: Juleka actually only told Marinette and Adrien about rose, so she didn't tell the whole class, it was Marinette who had notified everyone of rose's condition, contrary to what i remembered. Apologies on my part

[deerdecay]

google: what to do when you're about to fucking snap

[supermightyglue]

omgg im so obsessed with your jackass oc’s. i dont have a specific headcanon request but could you write more about a main cast girl?

yesssss yes !! & thank u sm that means the world <3 i have many more ideas and am gonna post actual headcanons and stuff but for now take this very random and very specific shit

her nickname is pissbaby. i have said it before but i must say it again so everyone is aware. she got it growing up and tbh there isn’t a real reason for it other than the fact that she has pissed herself a few times

went to the met gala with knox (was def invited before he was tho)

braids pontius’ hair a lot. does his hair in general. she’s good with hair styling nd even cuts her own

was the one to receive the off road tattoo

is always paired with knox (and tremaine sometimes) for press shit

has a lot of modeling/movie offers but tbh she just wants to skate and do stunts and travel and hang out with her guys

ik i said she cant cook but i changed my mind. cooking is lowkey her love language. she’s a vegetarian but doesn’t mind cooking meat if someone wants it. a long day filming? invites everyone over and cooks for them.

doesnt cook for herself tho. the queen of struggle meals. buys a lot of cereal

also always let’s ppl crash at her place. pontius is there a lot cuz the whole living in his van situation. he and steve were in her (iconic) cribz ep

present for most of the wildboyz trips even if she didn’t appear in the episode. she loves animals and traveling and learning about other cultures so it was like heaven for her

CRAZY stupid .. like, almost as bad as knoxville. she somehow was able to get in the bullpen and it scared the shit out of everyone (especially steve o)

honestly she doesn’t like fucking with animals and doesn’t wanna do anything to hurt them. she feels bad for certain things they do and regrets stressing them out

and she can be really sweet, but with animals? she is practically a different person. she turns into such a softie

has a few doggies. all rescues and with disabilities because she gets sad when people don’t want them

probably closest to the wildboyz, especially pontius. but knox too, and dunn <3

super fond of preston too. he’s so sweet and she can’t help but adore him

ppl swear either chris or pj is her soulmate (myself included nd i cant decide who pls help me)

always down for skate sessions

is sponsored by powell peralta (and is kinda at war with bam because he thinks his element sponsorship is better)

very fashionable. an it girl. (again, i picture her as devon aoki)

super scrappy and will fight a grown man

she knows how to fall because she’s a skater but she also has gotten some GNARLY injuries. usually to her head. always has bruises

knows first aid and she isn’t a medic obv but she has been SUPER helpful in certain situations

literally unable to drive, and yet, she drove for part of the gumball rally .. she managed to genuinely scare the guys. she doesn’t have her license for a reason.

one of those ppl who genuinely does not need deodorant but unfortunately the smell of jackass clings to her

has a lot of girl friends. she is a girl supremacist. we don’t blame her.

she can be really mean sometimes but most of it is on accident. she just doesn’t have a filter. the guys don’t really care tho, she fits in

ska music enthusiast. and a deadhead

so she doesn’t puke and doesn’t get grossed out HOWEVER she refuses to take part in that yucky shit. hell no. that’s what crosses the line.

once the guys collected a cup of their mixed sweat and poured it on her and she has never been so mad. like, she gets mad, she has a temper, but she lost her shit in a way that she never has before. made them turn off the camera. knoxville was the one to pour it—no one else was brave enough. tremaine was even on the fence about it. she ended up breaking knox’s nose. he was a good sport about it. they didn’t fuck with her in that way ever again

she can be kinda mean but it’s usually on accident cuz she has no filter. but for the most part the guys don’t give a fuck and it’s funny

interviewers and paps can be really really rude and sexist and the guys can’t help but get pissed and say stuff because they love her. BUT they also know that no one is better at defending her than she is. don’t fuck with her. ever. she will practically end someone’s career. she does not give a shit

[somberine]

Sighs, okay, I'll share everything I said in my discord server abt Mach and how sometimes people dont treat her character right.

Im a roblox guy now /j Heres Mach.

Regular outfit and Halloween outfit shes everything to me. Anyway, I feel a lot of people really heavily misinterpret who she is and her personality, and we're gonna get into that a little.

I just think the way some people mischaracterize her is so evil but maybe its just because the way Ive written Datura and how Ive grown to really realize how Weird people can be to characters with trauma/mental disabilities.

Mach through bits of text tells you often of her siblings, how she misses them, how she watched them die, and of what her family that did this was like. She mentions how she was tasked to kill one of her own family and how it was both a job and something personal and also how her cybernetics were forced onto her by said family and idk I think people taking a character with such a traumatic story and tossing her to the side as "Yeah shes just one of those people who takes joy in seeing others hurt/is probably hurtful to others" is so weird when theres so much to think about in their character.

Mach, despite everything she was put through and the job she currently has, found Pilby in her home (?) hiding in a closet abandoned by the elevator, and rather than berating Pilby and telling them to get out/hurting them/sending them off soon as she could, she took them and brought them to her office and gave Pilby a safe place to stay with the promise of getting Pilby home.

She mentions to her higher up that Pilby's species isnt even in their database, and that shes never seen anything like Pilby let alone heard of a place like theirs, but shes still willing to do anything she can to find them a way home.

And Idk, it's weird how people ignore that shes doing all that for Pilby in favor of making her cold and weirdly stern when shes really not like that. Maybe Im reading too into it??

Mach likes Pilby so much she introduced them to her higher ups! She took them to her place of work! She takes them on expeditions if she thinks its safe to bring Pilby with her! She offhandedly mentions she needs to buy more apples while Pilby is headed to the elevator, implying she goes out of her way to buy them food as well.

Idk where people are getting the idea that shes awful to others it totally defeats the purpose and obvious thing here that Mach really tries what she can to be kind to others when she can especially if it means she wont end up like the all father.

Mach doesnt let her trauma (from how it comes off in her comments) make her as bad as the people before her, and doesn't let herself continue to be used as a weapon of destruction like she was made to be.

I really feel her opening up is especially vulnerable for her given who she is, but she seems to know so much about Pilby and I can only assume Pilby also knows so much about her as well.

Mach and Pilby are the only family the other has right now, and I like to believe they both are like a lifeline to the other in some way.

"But shes never smiling." Okay, but also consider shes not totally familiar being around others often and is very emotionally stunted and kinda has a difficult time expressing much through expression given the stuff shes been through. And even if she isn't always smiling, that doesn't mean shes not fun. She literally giggles thinking abt sparing with her boss.

Anyway, I love Mach soooo much as a character. She's everything set up to be a villain, and she isn't! She even makes comments on if you lived or died in the wall of/hall of as well as if you got 3 rerolls in wheel of.

Shes a very fun and well written character, and I need to stick her in a box and shake her around.

Also, she has multiple hammers this isnt anything, but I never noticed before they had different designs in Office Of on the wall.

I could write and write and write about how it makes me Insane some people write Mach off as very stereotypical "Character whose cold and rude because she has trauma so ohh shes evil and mean to everyone" when that is absolutely not her character at all in game and she is as complex as other Regretevator characters Im like an animal with rabies-

[cloudywithchanceofrainestorm]

Honestly "Thems the breaks, kid" just made me realize how truly selfish and impulsive Lilith was when she cursed Eda.

Just the fact that, when they had to duel for the emperors coven, instead of talk to her sister about it she immediately jumped to "Im gonna loose if i dont do anything." Like she immediately threw her sisters wellbeing out the window when it suited her.

But its even worse when you consider that the consequences of her curse went way beyond just her individual magical ability.

As a result of Eda's curse:

Eda attacked their father, causing him to become disabled and no longer be able to work

Their mother became a victim to medical scams, using family heirlooms and going on dangerous jouneys to try and cure her daughter

The pervious two situations caused Eda to run away from home at a very young age, making her look out for herself at way to young of an age.

Ruined her relationship with Raine, the only friend she had aside from Lilith she had (and her one true love)

Made her isolate from anything and everything until she found king (and by that point she was middle aged)

By all account Eda's life was considerablly more miserable then it had to be. And sure there was no way that lilith could of known the curse would of caused these things, cause she didnt understand how the curse worked in the first place. By all accounts she seemed to think that the consequences of this would be as far as making Eda slightly weaker so she could win that duel, not life altering.

Don't get me wrong, this isnt an anti lilith post by any means, cause this makes perfect sense given her situation at the time.

Lilith was a youngish teenager, who felt ignored by her mother and undermined (unintentionally) by her sister. Of course shes gonna make a stupid mistake like this. I can remember so many times as a younger teen i made horrible mistakes that blew up in my face because I couldnt fathom consequences past the end of that week.

Lilith making one singular mistake, that then snowballed into several mistakes, is something that happens with kids her age so often. Because of this it's far more forgivable that it would be for anyone else.

However, what if far less forgivable is her actions as an adult.

Lilith didnt tell anyone that she was the one to curse Eda, most likely out of shame. But that sense of superiority over her still exsisted through out season 1. Lilith couldnt help but feel smug that she was in a position of high respect while Eda was a pursued criminal.

But even with her higher position, she can't capture Eda. All her effort means nothing because in the grand-scheme of things, Eda is still the more powerful witch, even while cursed.

In their battle at the end of season 1, Lilith still needs to resort to trickery in order to win (by capturing luz), and when she screams out "Then why were you so easy to curse!" In response to Eda saying she is better than her, alot of people pointed out that Eda was both sleeping in her own bed and also trusted lilith because shes her damn sister.

Lilith wants to be seen as a powerful witch, but she keeps having to resort to trickery to achieve it. And experienceing the curse first hand throughout season 2 definitely works to humble her, as she finally stops focusing on whether shes a failure or not and instead focuses on developing personal relationships to enrich her

By "Elsewhere, Elsewhen" shes finally realized that she doesnt need to be told shes great to be happy, becoming suspicious of Philip Wittebitch when he starts telling her what she wants to hear.

Honestly this went from "Eda's curse really messed her up huh" to "The life and times of Lilith Clawthorn" and i ain't sorry.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. no but fr why would rachel set up artemis as persephone's first real friend but then quickly undermine it for eros of all ppl (who basically drugged her and had her kidnapped???) and random nymphs like daphne and now just spends all her time shitting on artemis for not being omnipresent and not kissing hera and hades' feet any chance she gets? like oh no, artemis is her own character, doest know whats happening bc no one tells her, & doesnt follow hades & co's status quo, shes so awful for that!

2. the "immortal dating pool" also isnt small lmao?? like oceanus alone has 3k daughters and 3k sons, any several other gods and goddesses have innumerable children and descendants fairly large, especially compared to other pantheons. LO too even shows there even MORE nymphs and creatures than actual myth so the dating pool is even bigger?? that excuse is so stupid because its like "oh hades had no choice but to date a 19 year old!" like ok thats his problem then?? get immoral tinder, you weirdo??

3. I think a big test of actual representation is see if you remove it from the story that is suddenly breaks the story and/or character. If it doesn’t break anything and can be reminded with no fuss, then it’s not representation. Let’s try it with LO;

- the only mention of Eros being bi was cut as a deleted scene and only put on twitter, so it’s not even in the text. Echo and Hera is not a couple that affects the story, so it can be removed easily. Athena and Hestia have importance in the maiden society, but their relationship can easily be removed as well. So LGBTQ+ rep is not in LO.

- Psyche being a woman of color is purely aesthetics, so that could be cut and effect nothing in the story. So BIPOC representation is not in LO.

- Hephaestus’ disability has no effect on the story or his character. I’ll say it counts on a technicality, but I doubt any actual amputee feels “seen” with how LO depicts him. He’s is merely a pawn over an actual character.

- The only body diverse characters are nameless nymphs, so they could also be cut with no problem. Body diversity is also not in LO.

I’m sure there’s more I’m forgetting, but it seems LO is stacking up to be a very white, very straight, very un-diverse work. 

4. its wild an excuse for the age gap is "well rachel HAD to keep it that way it was that way in the myths" like first off no it wasnt?? persephone in the myths is OLDER than athena and artemis so if theyre adults persephone would be older, but second rachel changed so much about it that even if that big of an age gap was myth canon (its not) then what excuse is there for her to not make her 119? 1019? she changed everything else, why would that have to keep that the same then? make it make sense.

5. One of the biggest failings in LO is it refuses to let Persephone grow up. If she confronted she has darkness in her, then that's a huge sign of her accepting who she is and maturing, but the narrative actively doesn't let her do this, and Persephone does nothing but let herself be coddled by everyone else and be passive. She doesn't stand up to Demeter, to Hera, not even to Hades. She is not allowed to grow up, and she doesn't want to change that. How is this suppose to be our Dread Queen?

6. thats also it too. i dont think rachel is very comfortable (nor has the skill) to depict serious moments with the nuance they need. she did it a few times in s1 (the assault and the birdcage specifically) but it seems the farther into it she gets, the more she undercuts serious moments with her "humor" to keep the mood up. i get why she does this, but the mood swings are very jarring, and it just makes it seem like she doesnt actually care and theyre just there for "serious" points and that's it

7. im not giving her the pageviews but yall best be lying rachel is not seriously using ARTEMIS to blame for persephone's mass murder too?? in what way??

From OP: Hades used Artemis/Apollo’s AoW as an example/defense as to why Persephone should get a light punishment. However, it still fails to take into account that:

Artemis and Apollo didn’t cover up their AoW and did talk to Zeus, Persephone’s was covered up. Zeus even said it’s more about the cover up than the AoW.

Persephone hid from the law and used the Olympus Underworld treaty to keep herself there. (I can’t really see her in a sympathetic light after she tried to avoid the consequences of her actions in the first place. NOW, she wants to take accountability and yet it took her mom being taken in and the court date being announced to do so.)

There was a river of souls for Persephone’s AoW vs the 13 Artemis/Apollo killed.

That’s not a good comparison.

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

8. if rachel seriously throws leto under the bus to write herself out of apollo r//ping persephone i might actually lose it. you dont get to claim youre the beacon of feminism and care so much about empowering women when you take a victim of attempted assault in mythology and instead use her to excuse and "redeem" a r//pist in your stupid story because you were too arrogant to think about any of the fallouts from your stupid story and hamfisted plot ideas your tumblr fans suggested in 2017. 

9. FP// Why are the comments more angry at Hades being upset over P being assaulted than him overstepping his boundaries, eavesdropping on P when she thought she was in private, and forcing her to tell him about her assault when she wasn't comfortable with doing so? He forced her to tell him about something she was not ok with doing so and SHE's framed as the one who needs to claim Hades down. There's so much in that scenario to call him out for (like his weird controlling ways) over his reaction??

10. listen yall even the most functional couples ever still have disagreements and fights. the fact lo hades saw persephone turn his ex into a plant right in front of him and nearly killed her w/ no pushback or even reaction and she has to put up with his temper tantrums and treat him like a child to claim him down is so?? yall both suck so bad sorry to say.

[monstrouslyobsessed]

—asks on beastfolks

well, i didn’t expect to get so many asks on beastfolks but i’m also happy yall are interested!

HYENA MOMMY~~~ I know that I prob have mommy issues but god the image of the hyena matriarch doming me just drives me insane... like can ya imagine hyena mommy to instruct the rest of the pack on how to pleasure their darling~~ then when darling is exhausted she would take them herself... lord oh my —anonymous

LOL well, im not sure if it would be lady hyena’s thing, since she probably doesn’t like sharing her darling (hyenas get pretty aggressive toward each other within their own pack iirc, typically over food and power struggles)—but this isn’t to say that it’s not a thing in other packs/tribes! some tribes just might require the leader to share their own darling too as part of their traditions. 

bet it’d be more common with dog and wolf beastfolk, but i wouldn’t be surprised to see something like this with feline, bears, birds, etc. 

this question is more of a curiosity, if you want you don't need to answer 🤗. what is the body type and height of the species/ tribes of beastfolks? —anonymous

uhhh, they’re pretty diverse tbh, and a few would probably have illnesses of their own that would affect their body shapes—like some of us has.

however, you would rarely see a, ah, heavy body shape in a very active tribe, at least those who lives in the wilderness anyway. you might see sickly skinny fews though, because with some tribes living in the wild and having to hunt, its the survival of the fittest, and they probably wouldn’t have doctors who would understand the issues.

most tribes tends to take care of every one member though (as long as they contributed to their society in some form, disabled, elderly, and ill members included), so very few tribes would’ve forced their members to survive on their own and those are the tribes you would probably want to avoid at all costs regardless.

in more urban settings, you’ll see all sorts of body types though since even the beastfolks will eat junk foods and drink sodapops and alcohol.

that said, most the beastfolks are actually much bigger than humans are, both in height and in size. the biggest ones (on land) are usually bears, deer, horses, and whatnot. of course there *are* exceptions where some beastfolks are just born freakishly small (because like us, they have genetic faults too).

again, they are as diverse as we are, although there are some consistencies lol

```When human is pregnant, the ‘humanfuckers’ become overprotective ? when someone tries to touch the baby bump would they growl? do they get possessive?Would they only let someone stay close to their human up to a certain distance (like never too close)?```💋 —anonymous

depends! most of them would probably be fine if its other family member/someone in their pack and sometimes friends (if they ask for permissions first). if its a stranger (doesnt matter if human or beastfolk, we all have those assholes) then yeah, they’re getting some teeth snapping and rising fur actions.

i imagine they would only get bad if they’re in a public setting filled with unknown people tbh, like…public buses or in malls. 

i’m sure it’s becoming a general thumb of rule in the modern society to keep distance from a beastfolk and their mate, especially if they’re visibly pregnant. fyi there are afab beastfolks with amab darlings, so it won’t be rare common sights to see a pregnant beastfolk with their mate too—just don’t expect their human to do the snarling, its usually the beastfolk being extremely territorial of their mate and their unborn baby/ies regardless of what gender they’re passing as.

```what would ‘ humanfuckers’ do if they saw their human looking at television and blushing because they're looking at a very attractive actor?```👀 —anonymous

depends tbh, some would’ve shrug it off, others though would’ve taken it as a challenge to reassure their dominances over their darling.

“good thing we don’t know them, otherwise you’d be right underneath me and be humiliated in front of them right now, right here~”

beastfolks Owners would do Tik tok challenge with their pets humans ? The Beastfolks would have their own version of YouTube and social Media? ❤️ —anonymous

internet does exist, yes! humans are the ones who invented it/computers still though (which was one of many reasons why humans still get some independences, because of their intelligences—beastfolks generally dont see them as emotionally intelligent though but i digress since thats for another post). so, i do imagine there would be prominent humanfucker cultures online, debates, memes, and pron of all kinds included (yes, pron, you can expect a lot of them via sex videos, animations, comics, novels, etc.).

heck, internet is probably where the term humanfuckers came from, since the original term was probably something like human lovers or a bit more innocuous—or actual slur of some kind. humanfuckers landed on between the two but was largely embraced by the beastfolks community in spite of that.

so, yes, there are youtube, social media, tiktok, whatever, and yes, you’ll see a bunch of humanfucker memes on all of those lol

free to ignore this but in the future will you write more about Beastfolks OCs or not? —anonymous

i still need to write the lioness! i always wanted to try and write her, especially since she’s a trans. i’m just vvvv nervous on writing her while still casting a very respectful light even in pron though. so, it’s something i’m still chewing on.

as for actual…normal everyday characters (since lady hyena and the lioness are both politicians fighting for human rights—read, their mates’ rights lol), i have couple in mind i’ve been tossing around but nothings too solid yet. on most parts, pretty much all of the followings are just one-off characters.

—wolf (he/him) and rabbit (they/them) (or lamb? havent decide yet), wolf purchased a human (afab) to breed with since his submissive rabbit spouse couldnt give him cubs/kits. rabbit didn’t really approve. upset, the rabbit took it out on the human when the wolf was out and absent and soon realized the beauty in breeding with the human. the wolf was pleased by the outcome. noncon, more than one.

—bull dilf (he/him), already a father of a handful who long since moved out and started their own lives, was feeling empty nest since he lost his wife years ago. impulsively, he went out and brought himself a human (afab) to keep as a pet—but wounded up finding himself wanting to be a father again and bred the human. noncon? big dicc.

—bear (she/her) brought home a human (afab?) she found lost in the woods to her adult daughters. noncon, more than one, probably some incest.

there’s also tribal beastfolk members i also wanted to touch on too + a skittish beastfolk produced from a human taking their own human.

so yeah, i would love to write more of beastfolks! so hopefully, i’ll get around on writing more of them (or at least lady hyena and lioness) sooner or later.

whewwww, so many…but so fun! feel free to send more questions in! doesn’t have to be about beastfolks ofc can be on any of my other ocs too <3

[caffeinated-chaos-bean]

Posting this here because I feel...idk... like I'd be more likely to get ask advice sent in here rather than my personal blog???

I just was asked soemthing that... it really tears at my heart.

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For context, a friend of mine recently went through a similar breakup to what I did. Different circumstances leading up to it, mind you, but same end result: BF not wanting to talk out issues with GF, ultimately leading to an arguement, a tantrum on BF's part that ended with him leaving, and their relationship ultimately over.

In a nutshell, BF not wanting to communicate and work through issues similarly to what my fiance did before he moved out and ended our relationship.

Now... this week, she and I are planning to hang out. I want to check up on her and make sure she is okay, because she's been with her now-ex since 2017. She's been with him for 5 years, so obviously she's extremely down and also has her own me that health struggles added added that.

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Tonight...I got a message from her... and she was asking for a huge favor.

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This favor... was asking if she can love in with me and my mom.

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Her ex can afford their apartment on his own, whereas she cannot.

She's offering to pay rent, to do the driving needed when we get grocieres...

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But theres a few issues...

We don't have a very big "house". It's a trailer. It's a 30+ year old trailer. And it's small.

On top of this, we are still getting our house in order after my ex pretty much left it trashed and cramped. I mean... some of his shit is still in my closet because he just up and left it.

I'm still sleeping on the floor. We sont have a space for her to sleep unless unless she is okay with sleeping on a broken, torn, and overall gross couch that we technically have to get rid of whenever we have the funds and can get around to it...

My mom also is trying to get social security (disability). We already don't know how it will go given I still live with her and have an income of my own, paying for everything that's in her name with my money. We don't know if that will be a roadblock for my mom being able to get her own income lest she "leave me out" of things, if you get my meaning.

And the last issue (that pops to the forefront of my mind that is) would be that of my mom's response. I do plan to being the queation to her, but... I'm scared of her reaction. The entirety of my ex living here started well and and slowly delved into emotional and mental abuse from all three of us going at each other and my mom eventually not really eating and constantly saying she's not even at home in her own house house that she may as well sell it or give up and die. It's dramatic, yes, but all of us were at each other's throats essentially. It wasn't pretty, it was chaos. With this experience having ended just... what, not even half a year ago? Maynbe 3 or 4 months?? I don't know how my mom is going to take the idea of someone moving in with us yet again.

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And as for my friend, she does t have family in town anymore. Her parents left for Texas, her grandma with dementia lives way out of town in a place that's way too dangerous and she herself doesnt want to move to, for her own safety and mental health.

She has no where to go. Quite literally. And if she ends up being kicked out without somewhere she can go, she becomes part of our state's growing homeless population and I don't want that for her.

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This is why I ask for advice. I don't know what to do. She isn't isn't ex, she's also not a guy, so it would jsut be me, my mom, and her. Us three girls...

I want to tell her yes, I want my mom to say yes... and as I said, despite the fear of her reaction I do plan to ask my mom tomorrow as it's pretty late tonight.

But I want to know what all of you would do. What you guys would do to ha dle this type of queation in the circumstances that I'm in as is with my mom.

Her paying rent and being a second income with her own vehicle and license would help, after all I have to get orthodontic work done eventually. I've had to take each of my cats to the vet every other week, one by one, since the last week of September and that's a huge cost on one sole income (paid barely minimum wage, $14 per hour). Her paying rent, along with me still giving my mom bill money from my paycheck, would allow her to pay larger portions of our bills and we'd be able to get stuff doen that my mom.and i alone would t be able to do... such as fixing our dryer, fixing our propane heater, etc. Plus, my friend has OCD. She's willing to clean, which is a major difference from my ex who would leave used forks and bowls around the house, left our white stove top black from not waning after cooking, and being the reason we had to throw out our cookware and buy a new set. With her and I paying stuff together we could maybe get our septic looked at and get it fixed so our toilet doesn't whistle every time it gets flushed.

Plus it would get her away from her ex and into somewhere with a better environment.

I just... with what hapoened before with my ex, I have no idea how to do this...to ask my mom...I need advice...

[lostinyourdreams]

Soul Weaver headcanons

I strongly think that she is albino, it just makes sense to me since in her original skin her eyes are red- 

She can get out of her “soul weaver costume”(aka the big metalic spider one) but its very rare to see her out of it since its her comfort zone

Will only get out of it around the people she is very close with but taking her mask off around you means that she trusts you with her life

She eats in her room rather than at the dinner table for obvious reasons-

I think she is actually alive compared to the other hunters which leads most hunters to think she is weaker than them 

Has horrible night terrors that keep her up half the night resulting into her having bags under her eyes 

She sleeps hugging a dummy made out of her own thread (kinda like young kids sleep with a teddy bear) hoping it would help her not have any nightmares 

Extremely insecure about herself, at the circus she had always been told she is less than a human and people only were curious about her because of her disabilities 

She doesnt properly take care of herself since she never really knew how, she just does the bare minimum that kept her alive until now 

She always puts up a happy facade around people but would occasionally crack 

She tears herself down if she messes up first before actually training to do better

She is very naive because of her childhood and illiterate. She will believe 100% of whatever you say and will feel betrayed if you lied to her 

Has trust issues and a bit of anxiety, she feels like everyone will leave her if she messes up so she never allows herself to do mistakes. 

Sometimes she will spare survivors or let them go with a draw. Especially if the survivor is Andrew, he is a freak like her and they didnt have the best upbringing so she feels like she relates to him a lot 

Affection starved. If anyone even gives her a pet on the head she will feel overjoyed and would cherish that moment for months 

She is a people pleaser, thats all she did her whole life, pleasing ringmasters. 

Despite not having a good upbringing she still tries to give the children of the manor happy memories, she will play with Robbie (axe boy) whenever he wants, help Galatea (Sculptor) with whatever she needs and try to take care of Yima when Yidhra isnt looking (of course Yidhra always catches her doing so and scolds her) 

She makes everybody sweaters for winter? She makes everybody sweaters for winter.

She also gifts everybody plushies, she just places them in front of their door and waits to see their reaction