#and it is very hard for me to do things like that without instructions or a sense of consistency

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Anyone else have near-perfect executive function at work; but at home, have literally no energy or motivation to do anything except lie in a dark room, with something in or on your ears for several hours?

[talkorsomething]

Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................

Well, it's only half related.

We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.

I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...

I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.

Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?

Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.

November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?

There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.

I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.

...push it back down.

Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.

It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.

I don't know you.

I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?

Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.

It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.

I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.

... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.

I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.

...

I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.

I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.

Will someone just let me say that?

Will someone just fucking help for once?

[anantaru]

・✶ ｡ synopsis — capitano loves teaching his darling how it feels to receive pleasure by a real man <3

warnings — inexperienced reader & naive ?? reader, petnames used: good girl, size kink/size difference, age gap ? (he's mentioned as being older), fem! reader <3

the thought of capitano teaching you about pleasure and passion was unbelievably hot to the point where you couldn't wait for it to happen again and again.

yes, he's older and more experienced than you, so of course you believe whatever he tells you and certainly won't question all of the depraved things he'd ask you to do, the harbinger obviously know better than you do, correct? these thoughts never failed to echo in your mind as you found herself alone with capitano, the strongest and mysterious harbinger whose very presence sent your mind in a daze.

he towers above your smaller frame with his dark eyes piercing through the dim light of the room, the silent command in his gaze strong enough to send an entire army to its defeat.

you couldn't lie to yourself, especially not when it came to him— and you felt a thrilling mix of fear and anticipation as he sank inside for the first time, making your pretty mouth part with a high gasp as he pressed himself through your tiny hole— first his thick tip splitting you open, then his inches rubbing through you, his movements deliberate and controlled yet never too much where it could hurt you.

although before he proceeds, his scarred hand reaches out to your face, gently tilting your chin up to meet his focused eyes.

"you must trust me, you're aware of that, correct?" capitano's deep voice resonates through you, each word a promise of what was about to come as he begins to thrust into you gently, his next following words accompanied by deep grunts and groans, "only then i will teach you on how to receive the pleasure only i can give you."

you nod immediately, eager to feel more, your heart pounding in your chest as his experience in the bedroom was certainly undeniable— not only that but it was sexy, hot as the flames of a pyro user as the authority in his voice made you ache to comply, to please him too with all you can.

the rush of excitement at the prospect of being guided by someone who knew exactly what he was doing was enthralling as your body showed him such, and if you weren't so cock drunk, you'd notice just how hard and messily you're squeezing him right now, your pussy drooling and messing him up until he knows he's yours.

his lips brush against your ear as he whispers, "wrap your legs around me," and begins to instruct, his voice a low growl that made your back arch up immediately.

without hesitation you obey, your legs encircling his broad waist as the closeness was beginning to turn intoxicating, feeling like minutes before you could feel true solace as you felt the strength of his body pressing against yours the more he'd add on speed and strength.

"good girl, very good," he murmurs proudly, his breath hot against your skin as one of his hands slowly slide down your sweat covered stomach before reaching your clit, "now, relax, alright? let me show you how to feel every touch, every sensation of me,"

his hand moves with practiced ease on your clit as he pinches it, tugs and teased it, rubbing over the pearl and igniting a trail of fire wherever he applied pressure the most as your body was responding to his every touch, your senses heightened by the sheer dominance he exuded.

"focus on my touch," he commands softly, your hips curving upwards so that you'd be able to get his cock to sink even further inside of you.

"feel how your body responds to me,"

capitano fucks you with purpose, tugging your hips deeper onto his cock with every grind as your legs begin to shake, the blur in your eyes making it difficult for you to see anything more than his panting demeanor— not only that but his cock was huge, splitting you apart like he's meant to do that, as if there was nothing more than this moment in your life which was deemed important.

the warmth of his drags against your walls pooled into your veins and flesh as his cock fucks and fucks and lets you squeeze his inches in and out until you end up hiccuping of being so full and satiated, almost feeling stupid as he sent currents of electricity straight to your core.

©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[asthe-crow-flies]

the perils and the afflictions are ganging up on me :(

[incognit0slut]

Since you want to be realistic can you write something about squirting? What if r has been trying to squirt but fails (because not all women can do that) but spencer is being patient and helps stimulate her?

(18+, MDNI) Unprotected sex, squirting, and no plot. This is just pure filth and very graphic ~2k words

-

Spencer tries to stimulate you into the most intense pleasure.

Wet. You were wet everywhere. Your skin was drenched in sweat as you lay against the bed. Your hair was a mess across the pillow, some strands stuck to your damp forehead. But the most intense sensation, the one that captured your entire focus, was the throbbing wetness between your thighs.

It felt as if every nerve in your body converged at that single, overwhelming point. How could you not when he was positioned between your legs, his body pressed firmly against yours, grinding the hard length of his cock against your soft, swollen folds?

You whimpered, feeling the underside of his cock brush your clit with every thrust. He had been doing this for what felt like an eternity, and you willingly accepted him, writhing beneath his body.  His sweat-coated skin slid against yours as you clung to him, his mouth hovering just above yours, lips barely touching.

You felt his hips withdraw, pulling back from your body before thrusting forward again. The slick mix of your arousal caused him to slip slightly, and the tip of his cock pushed into you without warning. You gasped at the sudden, intense stretch.

But just as quickly as it happened, he pulled out again, leaving you whimpering at the sudden loss. "W-Why’d you stop?"

He hovered above you, his breath hot and heavy against your skin. “I’m trying to stimulate you, remember?”

His palm brushed your skin, edging closer to your aching cunt. Your mouth fell open against his as he found your clit, slowly circling it with his fingers. You arched into his touch as he applied gentle pressure. 

“I-I am stimulated,” you convinced him. Your brows knitted together when his movements intensified, his fingers pressing more firmly. The sensation was almost too much, but not enough. “I’m ready.”

He shook his head. “You need to be relaxed and comfortable. It’s all about building up the right kind of pressure and being fully aroused.”

You sighed. “I don’t know why you’re so intent on making it happen… It’s never happened before.”

"It might happen now." "It won't. There must be something wrong with my body."

“There's nothing wrong with your body. Everyone is different, and that’s perfectly okay." He leaned in, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered, "But imagine if it does happen…”

His voice trailed off as he continued to caress you, drawing a gasp from your lips. His movements were slow and lazy, but precise, focusing on the most sensitive spots with an intensity that belied his relaxed pace.

"Spence..." you whined. The slow, teasing pace was driving you wild, but you knew he could hold out much longer than you could. "I want to feel you.”

"Patience," he murmured, his fingers never ceasing their rhythm. "The more we build, the more intense it will be."

Your hips bucked into his hand, your body pleading for more. The tension inside you coiled tighter and tighter, your breaths coming in shallow, rapid gasps.

"Please,” you breathed. The need in your voice was undeniable, and you felt him smile against your skin.

Finally, he relented, shifting his position into a sitting position before grabbing a pillow. “Lift your hips for me.”

“We’re using a pillow?”

“I’m trying something,” he replied. “It should help change the angle and make things feel even more intense.”

You raised your hips as instructed, and he carefully positioned the pillow under you, elevating your lower back. “I see you’ve done your research.”

A bashful smile crossed his face as he settled back between your legs. "Maybe a little.”

With the pillow perfectly positioned, he aligned himself again and slowly pushed into you. His eyes were fixated on the way your body welcomed him, but he didn't push any further. Instead, he began a slow, tantalizing rhythm, barely his tip moving in and out, teasing you with each shallow thrust.

The sensation was maddening. You felt every inch of him, the slow, steady strokes sent ripples of pleasure through your body.

"Oh, that's..."

"Good?"

"Very good," you managed, a moan punctuating your words.

How could something so simple feel so intense? Each teasing thrust seemed to make every nerve ending in your body come alive. The gentle rhythm, the soft sound of his breath mingling with your moans, created an atmosphere of pure, unadulterated desire. 

It was evident in the way his eyes darkened with every gasp you let out, the way his hands gripped your hips a little tighter. It was evident in the soft, slick sounds your bodies made with each teasing thrust, your arousal intensifying with every movement.

Your hands gripped the sheet as you fought to keep some semblance of control. And when you thought it couldn’t get any better, he proved you wrong when his thumb found your clit.

“Oh…” you moaned, surprised even by your own voice. The sudden, intense sensation sent a shockwave through your body, making you arch towards him involuntarily. His thumb circled your clit slowly, as if he was experimenting, finding the exact rhythm that made you quiver.

It was as if you were his perfect study, each movement of his thumb carefully gauging your reactions. He watched intently, learning what made you gasp and what made you moan, fine-tuning his touch to drive you closer to the edge.

"Stimulating the G-spot and clit simultaneously can increase your pleasure,” he murmured, his eyes never leaving your body. “It’s all about building the right kind of pressure.”

“Spence…” you gasped, your voice coming in broken fragments as pleasure overwhelmed you.

“Breathe. Trust your body.”

You focused on your breathing, drawing air in and out, as your eyes fixed on the sight before you. Looking up, you saw his messy hair shadowing his intense eyes. Your gaze then traced the line of his chest, down to his narrowed waist, across the soft curve of his stomach. The trail of hair leading down from his navel drew your eyes further down, and you paused, mesmerized by the sight of his cock moving in and out of you. 

Then he pushed deeper, stretching you further than before. The sensation was intense, a delicious mixture of pleasure and the slightest hint of pain as you adjusted to his fullness. Your fingers dug into the sheets, gripping them tightly as you watched him start to rut his hips into you.

You cried out as his thumb increased the pressure on your clit. It was becoming too much, the sensation was familiar yet different, and your body started to shake. He noticed your reaction and adjusted his angle slightly, aiming to maximize the stimulation while his thumb continued its relentless motion.

“Are you close?”

"Y-Yes," you managed to moan, your body quivering with the approaching climax. The way he angled his thrusts, hitting that perfect spot every time was driving you insane. He watched you intently, his movements never faltering, increasing the pace just enough to push you further. 

You felt the climax building, unstoppable, like a tidal wave ready to crash. "Spence... I'm going to..." you gasped, unable to finish your words.

He pulled out at that instant, and you thought the sensation would leave you, but it was already traveling through your body. You cried out, filthy and unfiltered, as your orgasm ripped through you. Your body convulsed, trembling uncontrollably as your cunt clenched around nothing, the release so powerful it left you breathless. 

Just as you started to calm yourself, Spencer pushed his cock back into you, drawing a gasp from your lips.

“Oh god…” you breathed, the renewed sensation overwhelming your still-sensitive body. 

He watched you intently, the way your body thrashed against the bed, legs instinctively falling further apart. Sensing an opportunity, he let go of your clit and reached to hold the back of your thighs, gently parting you even further, quickening his pace.

“Spence, I can’t—” you began, but your words were cut off by a high-pitched moan as he hit a particularly sensitive spot.

“You can take it,” he encouraged. “You’re almost there.”

You shook your head, feeling an unfamiliar pressure building. “I-It feels weird,” you whined, your head lolling against the sheets. “I need to pee.”

“That’s a good sign, it means you’re really close,” he explained gently, not slowing his movements but watching you more closely for any sign of discomfort. “Try to relax.”

Your body turned slightly, a fluid, almost hypnotic motion as the warmth deep inside you swelled, sending ripples of intense sensation coursing through your wet sex. The pressure built, unfamiliar yet compelling. 

“I-I really need to p-pee.”

“Shh, you’re alright,” he assured you. “Just breathe through it.”

Taking his advice, you focused on your breathing and felt him quicken his pace. You squeezed your eyes shut as he rocked into you harder. Every time his throbbing cock squelched through your aching core, your arousal spread to his pelvis, his thighs, and his knees. The intensity was almost too much, but also too good to want it to stop.

Your breath hitched when he momentarily pulled away, then abruptly replaced his already quick tempo with an even more vigorous pace and your cunt instinctively clenched around him, your muscles spasming fiercely as he fucked in and out of you with relentless force. Your body tightened, and that unfamiliar sensation returned.

"Spencer," you gasped, the words catching in your throat as you felt every inch of him. The friction was perfect—intense, almost overwhelming, bordering on unbearable.

"Let it out," Spencer encouraged, his hands finding your hips, guiding you with a firm, steady pressure. “I got you.”

"Fuck," you moaned, tears brimming in the corners of your eyes from the intensity. You blinked your them open and quickly noticed the fucked-out look on his face, the way his mouth hung open as he focused on your pleasure.

His gaze was intense, almost devouring, as he watched every reaction, every shift of your body. The deep lines of concentration on his forehead showed how much he was invested in your satisfaction, and how much he wanted to see you unravel.

It was the trigger your body needed.

With that, you suddenly climaxed, calling out his name in a trembling moan as all of your muscles spasmed together, legs buckling completely as you drenched him with your warm liquid. The pressure was so intense that the liquid pushed himself out, but he stayed close to you, holding the base of his cock in place as he let the tip rub against your throbbing cunt the whole time you convulsed. 

There was so much of your release drenching him and the sheets that you couldn’t believe he was capable of squeezing an orgasm so intense, let alone the satisfied smile he wore as he looked down at you in approval.

“You did it,” he murmured, his voice filled with pride and affection. His thumb gently traced circles on your hip as he lay beside you. “How do you feel?”

You took a moment to catch your breath before answering him. “Overwhelmed,” you whispered, a dazed smile spreading across your face. “And very wet.”

He laughed, a warm, infectious sound that made you feel even more at ease. He then grabbed your hip, his hand trailing down your leg before gently lifting it and placing it over his, turning your body toward him.

His hand rested comfortably on your thigh. “I think I can handle a little wetness.”

“You handle it very well.”

His grin widened, and he leaned in to capture your lips in a gentle, lingering kiss. “Do you want to do it again?”

You pulled away slightly. “That’s possible?”

“Absolutely. In fact, you can try to control it yourself.”

“…How?”

He suddenly pulled you on top of him, guiding you so that you straddled his hips. The sudden movement made you giggle, a light, joyous sound that filled the room as you buried your face in his neck. It was safe to say he helped you learn what your body was truly capable of that night.

[augustinewrites]

“you’re an idiot.”

“really, doc? you’re gonna insult me after i came all this way to see you?”

you pause what you’re doing to stare down at wriothesley with a wholly unimpressed look. “you were wheeled in on a stretcher.”

(he’d even come in shirtless, one hand resting behind his head all laid out like a fontanian model in a clothing campaign.)

he dismisses the fact with a wave of his good hand, tsking. “only because sigewinne threatened to tranq me if i didn’t get on!”

you know for a fact that the head nurse is still stationed outside the infirmary in case his grace tries to leave without staying for overnight observation.

“she should have done it anyway,” you hum, taking his wrist and using it to carefully position his arm at his side. you nod at the nurse across from you holding the band to keep him steady. “deep breath now, your grace.”

wriothesley draws a breath and releases it quickly, grinning up at you. “so, what are you— fuck!”

“get him a sling,” you instruct, stifling a laugh as you let go of his arm and step back. “i’ll get him an ice pack.”

the two of you move around the infirmary, quickly gathering supplies as the duke lets loose a string of expletives that would make sigewinne faint.

it’s quite entertaining to see the duke pout, holding a heart-patterned ice pack to his shoulder. “i think i deserve a kiss for that.”

“a kiss is going to help with shoulder pain?”

“duh.”

this time, you don’t stifle your laughter as he closes his eyes and puckers his lips.

you pull a sticker from your pocket, pressing it to his waiting lips. “you were a very brave boy.”

his pucker turns into a pout as he uses his good hand to take the sticker off, sticking it to his discarded gauntlets. he looks more like a puppy than a wolf in this state.

with the worst of it out of the way, you begin tending to any scrapes or bruises.

it should be simple, but wriothesley doesn’t make it easy. he flexes playfully whenever your fingertips brush his biceps. insists on holding your hand when the antiseptic touches his wounds.

“okay, you’re all done,” you tell him, peeling off your gloves and tossing them into the bin. “but you will have to stay overnight so we can monitor you for any concussion symptoms.”

his brows raise as he clicks his tongue, smirking. “oh? are you asking me on a date?”

“no,” you say, tucking your clipboard under your arm. “i’m doing my due diligence as your physician.”

“but it’ll just be me and you and this very romantic lighting…”

“it’s dim light because someone keeps forgetting to put in the order for new ones.”

“they’re dim? hm, i didn’t notice. how could i when your smile lights up the room?”

you roll your eyes when he winks, but can’t help the heat you feel spreading across your face. “if you keep this up, i’ll have sigewinne and her tranquilizer gun stay overnight with you instead.”

“if i stop and you stay, will you at least have tea with me?” he asks, a hopeful glimmer in his eye.

“fine, i’ll stay. but only if i get to pick the tea,” you tell him, pulling a chair to the side of his bed and shedding your lab coat to get comfortable. “you’re especially insufferable when you’re injured, aren’t you?”

he reaches out and pulls the chair closer, so you’re sitting between his knees. “and yet, you’re finally succumbing to the temptation of my rock hard abs and winning personality.”

“no,” you deny, but you’d be lying if you said being this close to his spectacularly toned torso wasn’t doing…things to you. “it’s because you have liyue imported tea.”

“yeah,” he says, flashing you a charming, sinful smile that makes the fine hairs on the back of your neck raise, threatening to shatter your resolve. “if you say so.”

[solarmorrigan]

Howling for You

For the @steddie-spooktober day 9 prompt: Werewolf Rating: T | Words: 1405 | CW: brief, vague descriptions of gore? (werewolf transformation) | Tags: established relationship, werewolf Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson loves Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington loves Eddie Munson, fluff, a little hurt/comfort Divider credit: @steddiecameraroll-graphics

This is… unexpected.

The thing is, Steve always tells Eddie to stay safe during the full moon. To stay away from Steve and just let him have his run in the woods. He’d never be able to live with himself if he hurt Eddie.

So Eddie stays inside. He doesn’t go out, no matter how curious he is (his boyfriend is a werewolf, and he doesn’t even get to see his wolf form? Criminally unfair) and no matter how mournful and lonely the faint howls sound in the woods. For once, Eddie actually obeys instructions.

Except– except for this time, when he realizes that Steve’s forgotten to take his post-transformation care kit out with him (fresh clothes, a bottle of water, ibuprofen, wet wipes for the worst of the mess). He doesn’t want Steve to be without—to do some kind of werewolf walk of shame in day-old clothes while covered in grime and who knows what else—and he figures he has time. The moon is barely in the sky, and Steve hadn’t left too long ago. Surely Eddie still has time.

(Spoiler: he does not.)

Eddie doesn’t manage to find Steve in the end, stumbling around in the dark woods, realizing that he has no idea where Steve goes to have his transformation. Instead, Steve finds Eddie.

And look, Eddie is only human. When confronted with a wolf easily twice his size, bright hazel eyes (familiar, but not Quite Right) flashing in the moonlight, sharply-clawed paws carrying him closer and closer at an alarming speed, it doesn’t matter how much he knows Steve loves him – Eddie assumes he’s about to die.

He drops the care package, wonders if he has time to run, wonders if he can even make his body move well enough to run at all, wonders if maybe playing dead would work – and that’s when the unexpected happens.

Steve– the wolf?– no, Steve, lets out a yip that wouldn’t be out of place coming from an excited puppy, galumphs forwards, tackles Eddie, and then… lies down on his chest.

His head is the size of Eddie’s torso, his large, wet nose resting just beneath Eddie’s chin, and he just lies there, looking up at Eddie with wide eyes and sort of wiggling against him. When Eddie cranes his head to look around Steve, he realizes it’s because he’s wagging his tail so hard that his whole body is shaking with it.

“Uh… Steve?” Eddie hazards.

He isn’t sure how himself Steve is in this state. Steve’s made it sound like the wolf takes over and his human consciousness takes a backseat, made it sound like he’s dangerous, but from where Eddie’s lying, he seems – well, not harmless, but certainly friendly.

Steve whuffs at him, and Eddie can feel the sound reverberate through his whole chest.

“Are you– do you know me?” Eddie asks.

In response, Steve opens his mouth—and yep, those are teeth. Very large, sharp teeth—lets his tongue loll out, and licks Eddie.

It’s… an experience.

He wiggles his way a little further up Eddie’s body after that, nearly knocking the wind out of Eddie, and wuffles his huge, cold nose right up under Eddie’s ear. His breath ruffles Eddie’s hair, and Eddie can’t help his immediate reaction to try to push Steve’s head away.

“Hey, hey, that – shit, that tickles!” he gasps, laughing a little as Steve lifts his head.

He whines at Eddie, his ears folded back, and fixes him with the biggest set of puppy dog eyes that Eddie’s ever seen. He can’t help his immediate reaction then, either.

He brings his hands up, stroking over Steve’s fur, seeking out a spot behind his ear to scratch, shushing him. His fur is thick, a little coarse on top and addictively plush and soft underneath, and it figures that Steve has good hair no matter what form he’s in.

“Dangerous, my ass,” Eddie mutters as Steve settles back in against him with a happy grumble. “You’re not dangerous, are you, sweetheart? No, you’re just a big ol’ puppy.”

It’s at that moment that Steve’s ears prick forward, his whole body tensing in alert. He stands up, towering over Eddie’s prone form, a growl rolling low in his chest, and a thrill of primal fear shudders down Eddie’s spine.

The growl doesn’t seem to be directed at him, though. Instead, Steve steps right over Eddie, intent on something making noise in the trees just at the edge of the clearing. His fur stands up as he tenses, coils, and then pounces into the trees in one powerful leap.

“Okay,” Eddie says, still lying, dazed, on the ground, “maybe a little dangerous.”

He isn’t quite sure what to do with himself now that Steve’s gone. Should he go back to the house? Should he wait? Something in him worries that Steve will be sad if Eddie leaves now (and something else in him worries that Steve in Hunting Mode won’t differentiate between him and any other prey, if he should go wandering in the woods), so he decides to set up in the clearing and wait.

Steve isn’t gone long. He comes back licking his chops and looking, somehow, very satisfied with himself. He yips again to see Eddie sitting up against a tree, excitement taking over his full form as he bounds over and flumps down on the ground in front of him. He rolls over, and Eddie can’t help but laugh.

“You want your belly rubbed?” he asks, sitting forward.

Steve whuffs at him, wiggling a little, his tail wagging as best it can against the ground, and Eddie isn’t rude enough to deny such a polite request. He sits up on his knees and applies both hands to the task, and he gets to find out what joy looks like on a werewolf.

It’s pretty good.

The night carries on like that; Steve will occasionally bound off into the trees, chasing a noise or a movement, but he always comes back to Eddie, sweet and gentle and playful in his movements. Eddie’s watch tells him it’s three a. m. by the time he starts to flag. The adrenalin rush at the beginning of the night had been enough to keep him going for a while, but he does need to sleep eventually, unlike certain beasts he could name.

Still, once Steve clocks Eddie’s continued yawning, he sits and curls up beside Eddie, nudging at him with his enormous head until Eddie gets the picture and lies back into the curve of Steve’s body.

There, cradled in warmth and security, Eddie falls asleep before he knows it.

His awakening is rude. He finds himself jostled to the ground with the morning’s first rays of sun in his eyes, and it takes him a moment to remember just where he is and why, but then he’s jolting upwards, trying to scramble up off his ass and find Steve.

He doesn’t have far to look; Steve hasn’t gone, he’s standing in the center of the clearing, tense and ready, as the dawn washes over him.

And then he changes.

It’s horrifying. Eddie has never heard a bone break before, and now he’s heard it in stereo. The snap of muscle and skin pulling back into place is sickening, and yet it’s all nothing compared to the noise coming from Steve’s throat.

The panicked, pained whine of a wounded animal morphs and changes in pitch until it’s Steve’s voice, ringing through the clearing in a final, agonized scream that echoes for long moments after he’s stopped making noise.

He sways, falls to his knees, and then Eddie is right there in front of him, gathering him close to his chest, holding him as Steve nuzzles tiredly into the crook of Eddie’s neck.

“I didn’ hurt you,” he slurs out, trying to cuddle in closer.

Eddie wraps his arms more tightly around him. “You didn’t hurt me,” he confirms. “Not a bit.”

Steve hums, eyes shut as he lets himself be held, be comforted in a way he never has been after his moonlight jaunts. “I think… I could smell you,” he says after a long moment, more of an exhausted, half-formed thought than a full hypothesis.

“Yeah?” Eddie asks anyway. “What did I smell like?”

Steve lifts his head, nosing up into the spot just behind Eddie’s ear, much as he had just a few hours ago.

“Home.”

[is-the-thing-actually-jewish]

is Jewish Voice for Peace actually Jewish? I've heard a couple different things about that but no sources

@gryphistheantlerqueen also asked:

Whooo boy. So this has been sitting in the inbox for a few months, I wrote up a draft, and then it just sat... until this past week, when some new JVP BS hit the fan and gave me the kick to finish it.

Sooooo...

Verdict: Not Actually Jewish

(updated verdict after finding out about the “self-managed conversion” and “teacup mikvah”) Jewish, technically, and that "technically" is doing a lot of heavy lifting, and is actively debatable without access to a detailed breakdown of JVP’s actual membership rolls. 

In general summation, JVP is a far-left radical antizionist group that is headed by a few visibly antizionist Jews and whose membership rolls are either a strong minority or outright majority of non-Jews, based on variable statistics that they've released. Although they claim that the “majority of their members and staff are Jewish”, this seems to be both statistically unlikely and actively suspicious due to their noted tendency to instruct even non-Jewish members to speak #AsAJew on social media, and their instructions to do “self-managed conversions”.  However, due to their title, they are very popular with people who want a Jewish Stamp Of Approval for demonizing Israelis and Zionist Jews as a result. In effect, they are Jewish in the same way that people like Candace Owens and Hershel Walker are Black—as self-tokenizing minorities who throw the rest of their ethnic group under the bus in exchange for power and political access.

And despite the claims that they are “inspired by Jewish values and traditions” (as put on their website) and “oppose anti-Jewish hatred,” JVP routinely engages in antisemitic rhetoric, up to and including blood libel and antisemitic conspiracy theories, and acts as a shield against non-Jews who also engage in antisemitic rhetoric so long as the non-Jews in question remember to shout "For Palestine!" first. This is not an exaggeration. 

The primary example of their in-house antisemitic rhetoric is their "Deadly Exchange" program, where they explicitly and conspiratorially blame Israel as being responsible for American police brutality and militarization. However, for all of their fearmongering and blame-casting on the subject—as if American cops needed outside help in brutalizing minorities or gaining military-grade handmedowns from the Pentagon, both of which are explicit claims of the "Deadly Exchange" program—they have a hard time actually identifying specific deaths associated with the international training seminars they're holding up as responsible.

One of the the closest they've come to a specific allegation is claiming that "former St. Louis County police chief Timothy Fitch trained with the Israeli military three years before Michael Brown’s killing and the Ferguson uprising." (Note: this was in a video that appears to have since been made private.) But Darren Wilson worked for the Ferguson PD, not the St. Louis PD, and Fitch retired months before the killing. So he was in a completely different police department, and this is the closest JVP comes to pointing to specific deaths or acts of brutality that they blame on Israel. Everything else is literal fearmongering--up to and including the classic conspiratorial tropes of "secretive Jewish governmental influence".

JVP has also happily supported the words of white supremacists like Richard Spencer, taking his “You could say that I’m a white Zionist in the sense that I care about my people," statement at face value, using it as the basis for entire articles where they compared Zionism to White Supremacy as a deliberate misrepresentation of the ideology that is common on the extreme political Left (you can compare that treatment again with how Candace Owens treats the word "Woke" on the Right). Even when the Charlottesville "Unite the Right" march happened, JVP wasted no time in comparing Zionism with the very ideology fueling the people chanting "Jews Will Not Replace Us," saying that Zionism is "Jewish racial supremacy" and calling for a universal condemnation of the ideology as a form of White Supremacy... which was the exact sort of message that many of those same White Supremacists would have happily agreed with.  So JVP is essentially siding with literal White Supremacists,  even as they claim that "Jews are not the primary victims of White Supremacy."

JVP also engages in Holocaust revisionism, such as with this lovely quote from Cecilie Surasky, the deputy director of JVP, “I believe it is critical to situate the genocide of Jews in a broader context, and not as an exceptional, metaphysically unique event. Some 6 million Jews died, but another 5 million people were also targeted for annihilation.”

(another quote, from an article by Surasky, which compares Netanyahu to Hitler.)

This is just straight revisionism of the entire Holocaust and the unique fixation the Nazis had on the Jews. Literally, even when they were losing, they were diverting resources from the war just to kill more Jews. Quote Hitler himself, "Jews must be prevented from intruding themselves among all the other nations as elements of internal disruption, under the mask of honest world-citizens, and thus gaining power over these nations." The very basis of the Nazi ideology paints Jews as an existential threat to the human race's peace and security—a far cry from JVP's claim that the Jewish suffering in the Holocaust wasn't unique or exceptional.

Additionally, JVP ignores or re-envisions Mizrachi Jewish history. They call the very term Mizrachi “Zionist rhetoric,” and refer to Mizrachi “immigrants,” (“Deadly Exchange,” pg. 16-17), and claim “the Israeli government facilitated a mass immigration of Mizrahim” (“Our Approach to Zionism”) as though those weren’t the direct result of the mass expulsion of and violence against Jews in MENA countries. These weren’t immigrants, these were refugees. 

And as for the question of “Are they Jewish?”, well...

Statistically, they are not representative of the Jewish population as a whole, 90% of whom identify as some degree of Zionist in the sense of “Supporting Jewish self-determination.”  One does not need to be Jewish to join JVP, as they proudly state on their website. Their membership rolls are also extremely obfuscated, and the fact that they encourage their followers, whether Jewish or not, to post and speak “as Jews” on social media makes it even more difficult to figure out what percentage of their membership is actually Jewish.  Furthermore, they have instructions for their members to engage in “self-conversions” that are not acceptable to Jewish law or tradition, and misuse/appropriate other sacred Jewish traditions to the point that “blasphemy” is an accurate description, with their instructions on the mikvah (a sacred bath) being outright offensive.  

(note that one has to be completely nude and bare of any adornment or makeup to use the mikvah, which is a pure pool of collected rainwater to be immersed in, for context on the above... misuse.  Trying to claim this as being “in line with sacred Jewish tradition” is like trying to claim to be Catholic while also saying that the Pope is the Antichrist and that using beer and a doughnut for the Eucharist is acceptable. For more information on mikveh, see: The Jewish Virtual Library, Aish, myjewishlearning, or Chabad.

There's also no altar.

The irony of asking people not to appropriate while doing this is astonishing.)

It’s also telling that they straight up say they are “claiming” the practice as their own.

Furthermore, JVP has hosted panels on “antisemitism” in the past... headed by people who are not only not Jewish, but who have been credibly accused of antisemitism in the past.  

JVP has also endorsed The Mapping Project Boston, which was a Boycott, Divest, and Sanction (BDS) subsidiary, listing every “Zionist” organization in Boston, Mass. This included Jewish schools, elder homes, community centers, disability centers, and more; all of them painted with scary and misleading “links” to non-Jewish organizations to insinuate Jewish control of the state and city governments, invoking age-old antisemitic tropes of a conspiracy of Jews as they did so:

(first image is the Mapping Project, the second is a 1938 Nazi political cartoon)

The Mapping Project also, and this is my personal favorite, accused Harvard University of doing “racist science” for engaging in archeological and genetic studies of Jews and Jewish history.  Tellingly, BDS actually disavowed The Mapping Project (albeit for bad optics, not for the rank antisemitism they were promoting)... but JVP has not, even though the Mapping Project’s entry for the ADL reads as follows:

Masquerading as a “civil rights” group, the ADL is a counterinsurgency and espionage organization whose mission is to protect the mutual interests of the US and Israeli governments, and to eliminate solidarity among oppressed peoples, especially concerning Palestine. The ADL spies on and criminalizes activists (using its connections to governments, police, schools, and corporations) while undermining their work by pushing its own state-sanctioned, pro-“Israel” agenda. And while the ADL claims to represent Jews and to fight “antisemitism” on their behalf, the organization has supported anti-Jewish state violence and sanitized Nazis. The ADL cannot be reformed: it must be dismantled and whatever resources it has should go towards repairing the many harms it has done. (Emphasis added.)

Of course, JVP has also engaged in similar conspiracy-toned antisemitic dogwhistles, such as this fun bit from their first Deadly Exchange video:

So clearly (to me at least), they have no problems with The Mapping Project’s tone and presentation.  

And this isn’t even going into JVP’s routine promotion of blood libel, their egregious double standards, their approving of pogroms, their active support for Hamas terrorists and demonization of Hamas’ victims, their attempted revisionism of Jewish history, their abject rejection of Jewish culture, and their other actions that show not just bias, but outright hatred for 90% of the world’s Jews.  

As one commentator put it, JVP as an organization is very much like Autism Speaks is to Autistic people--a thinly disguised hate group that views the people they’re supposedly speaking for as the problem, and themselves as promoting the Solution.  To this moderator, they’re the equivalent of the Association of German National Jews, who were also known as the Jews for Hitler; they wanted to abandon Judaism and embrace Naziism... and they got sent to the gas chambers anyway.  

Mod Joseph

Sources:

www.adl.org/resources/backgrounder/jewish-voice-peace

www.jewishvoiceforpeace.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Mikveh-Guide-for-Jewish-Voice-for-Peace-Outlined.pdf

(and also just... a general experience/exposure to them on social media, where even the most progressive actions taken by Israel, such as the recent ruling regarding queer Palestinians being able to claim sanctuary in Israel, being labeled as “pinkwashing”)

[3liza]

I feel very defensive about the "goth is bougie" shit because it is historically incorrect, yes, but also and more personally, because it just erases the generations of goth kids who grew up in trailer parks and project housing or just straight up homeless, helping each other out.

it's specifically such a supportive subculture for poor and neglected kids and I really fucking hate that this has been revised and erased. juggalos and goths are very culturally close and many subcultural people are both, and juggalos have the same (and, I would argue, even better defined) culture of collective support. the Skids in Letterkenny are not made up for the show, that's just a real type of rural subcultural person. this has also been forgotten in the interim but in the 90s and 00s we didn't even really refer to OURSELVES as "goths" very much except in a joking way. goths had regional endonyms (like "skids" or "trenchies") even if they could all go to a convention or a club in a city and in that context be all called "goths" together, once they went back home they would go back to being whatever the locals called them or whatever they called themselves. this is a whole linguistics and sociology subtopic that's out of scope for a Tumblr post but is sort of related.

my point is that people who wore actual rags, and sharpie instead of nail polish, and wet n wild eyeliner instead of black lipstick, and dyed their hair with markers or food coloring or kool-aid, were and are the core of the goth scene. the majority of the pictures the mallgoth blogs are posting are from catalogs, fashion shows, costume events, yearly balls and fetes like Wave Gothik Treffen, and other places where people save up literally all year, or many years in a row, to put together ONE outfit. and there's nothing wrong with that, personally I'm proud and pleased that our hard work is being recognized and preserved. but just like formal studio photographs from the Victorian era, it is not representative of the daily or even weekly (for clubs) reality of people in the scene, some of whom were completely out of goth clothing during the day or week just to fit in at work or sometimes just to get along without being bothered at home by family members who thought the Cure was Satanic.

the people who RUN the scenes, the promoters and DJs and gogo dancers and independent designers and people who run the mailing lists and websites, the people who organize the room parties at conventions, and yes even most of the original Burning Man camps like Thunderdome, they mostly live in poverty. especially if they're young. when people organize club nights and shows, they're lucky if they break even. I wasn't aware of any of this until I started working at DNA Lounge in San Francisco, which hosts one of the oldest goth nights in the country, Death Guild. I got to know the owner of DNA well enough to find out about the financial reality of the entire scene, even the people who own the means of production and the actual property in this case, and it's not lucrative. I mean, it sometimes is, if you're running a bar for normal people and have investment captain etc, but the majority of legit subculture economics is just barely breaking even. every single event is 90% volunteer labor.

the issue of labor is maybe the confusing thing for the zoomers who are confused. goth outfits take actual physical work. maybe the Aspirational Spectacle of Labor that makes up most of TikTok has made it appear unreal to the audience rather than something you can just sit down and do?

it takes forty seconds to make the fishnet tights into a shirt. you don't need instructions, you really can just look at it and figure it out. then you think, hm, if I can make fishnets into a shirt I wonder what other things I can turn into something else. your brain will amaze you. my mom would save her tights from her formal work outfits for me when they got holes or whatever and I would just go crazy with scissors and safety pins. lots of young designers are getting attention for this layered, tights-n-pins look at the moment and it really is a fantastic aesthetic but I wonder if people think there's something special about the people who make these clothes? there isn't. you can just do it at home while you watch trashy youtubes.

one time, around 2008 or so, @gothiccharmschool and I were at the photoshoot for tabletop RPG Unhallowed Metropolis. we were there with a bunch of local goths to all make the pictures for this book together. we had all brought tons of our costumes from home to cobble together outfits for the book illustrations, and there was a moment when I just handed Jilli a pile of black skirts and some pins and said hey Jilli, could you please make me up a bustle skirt for this model real quick while I shoot these other models? and of course she did, and they were beautiful, because she knows exactly what she's doing, and because that's all a bustle is: it's a way of bunching up a skirt with another skirt. you can do it at home. you don't need instructions or to hire a seamstress or watch a video. you can just look at something and say hm does it look like a bustle? let's drape it and play with it and pin whatever works. and then you wear it for the photoshoot, or to the club!!! and then next week you pin it a different way and it's a cape instead and you wear it again!!!!!!!

[globaloppaaa]

Hey! Can you please do "babysitting with zb1"?

i love this idea!! got started on it as soon as you sent it! thank you for requesting bb, and as always if anyone wants to request more my inbox is currently open! might need some time as school is beginning for me again.

w/a: literally the smallest hint of suggestive theme of u squint to the point that your eye are just closed.

for hanbin, I don’t wanna say that this man has no flaws… but he really knows how to take care of younger siblings so any child is no problem at all. Heck, he’s probably taking care of you too. He’s got a lot of experience with taking care of others that it comes like second nature to him. Leaves you little notes of encouragement around the house when things start to get too stressful :))

jiwoong is doing your job for you at this point lol. Probably the most calm when one child throws a bit of a temper tantrum. His soft voice when he communicates to them can naturally bring a smile right back to their face. I feel like taking care of younger siblings pose no challenge to him whatsoever, I mean they’re just like mini versions of you two! Maybe he’s starting to get his head stuck in the clouds with the whole “mini you” idea…

If you’ve seen zb1 taking care of those twins on youtube you know well that hao does NOT know how to take care of children well. you’re lowkey 🤏 close to kicking him out with the way he talks back to the kid as if they’re both five years old. however watching the way you’re able to calm the child down really takes him by surprise, and he finds himself more willing to learn how you take care of them so well, while ultimately keeping both him and the kids under control too.

matthew tries so hard to be the best good cop of a babysitter he can be, though sometimes he forgets that bounderies and lessons do need to be learned! is the kind of babysitter that melts at the sight of the child’s puppy eyes and gives in to whatever scheming they may have up their sleeve. next thing you know there’s paint splattered on every surface but the ones paint is supposed to be on. “how could i resist?!” he says, giving u a pout while he attempts to remove the smear on his cheek, and honestly it’s hard for you to resist when he looks at you that way too.

you can bet taerae is singing those kids one hell’ of a lullaby every night WHEWWW. We all know how soothing his voice is, perfect for stormy nights or when’s there’s still a bit too much excitement past curfew. He’s definitely more of a practical kind of babysitter if that makes sense though. “Why do they play with rocks and twigs when the big screen tv is right there?” 🙄🤷🏻 Kinda guy. I will say that you and taerae are especially good keeping kids entertained. They adore his energy and humor and all the little skits he’ll put on. Babysitting with him leaves everyone smiling.

ricky is so elegant with it 😭😭 I don’t think you’ve ever heard him raise his voice because the children just obey without question. It’s almost strange lol. You two work as a great team! You make up the rules (because he likes listening to you too ☺️) and he’s the official communicator of said rules. Babysitting never feels stressful with him. His one downfall is that he will buy the kid(s) anything at anytime, and then he’ll buy YOU anything you want at anytime. He just wants you all to be happy what can he say?

gyuvin is surprisingly very good at babysitting when given instructions, knows what food is healthy and chewable, can easily make them fall asleep at curfew, and ensure the kids always keep a smile on their face. it’s hard to believe that when you run to the store, forgetting one item that all hell breaks loose. “i don’t know what to do when you’re gone.” he winces, in what looks like the most uncomfortable pose of defeat on the floor, the children jumping atop him in victory.

gunwook For sure knows what a child’s needs are, but learns all the details and the in-betweens from you! Definitely gets affected by cuteness aggression so sometimes it can be hard for him to concentrate, and then if YOU’RE there? Great, that’s a whole other distraction he’s gotta try and fail to ignore. Gunwook makes babysitting feel like a normal part of life rather than any kind of chore or job. He’s a bit head over heels on the idea of having his own family some day, and just maybeee he’s thinking about having it with you. 🤭

yujin i’m sorry but you’re practically taking care of him too. I’m not saying this because i think he’s a “baby”, but because he’s so socially awkward with the kids he can’t even hold eye contact lmao. For example, one of them might start to throw a tantrum out of the blue, and yujin’s solution involves him standing there watching like 🧍🏻😟. He’ll most likely start shouting your name for assistance… he really is trying his best! I think Yujin likes to let you lead with the babysitting, while also giving him a front row seat at admiring you being so passionate about making others happy and well cared for.

[kentoxo]

friction | reader (f) x crush!nanami pt.6

pairing: reader (f) x crush!nanami

synopsis: [AU] you have always had a crush on nanami. since the day you were hired as his personal assistant, you've been right at his side combating numbers and making money within the finance department for the company you two worked for. but, things take a turn when nanami catches wind of your feelings, and rejects you. little did he know the weight of his mistake.

warnings: angst, heartbreak, sexual tension, jealousy (future smut)

a/n: yall... this is so long, so sorry. but thank you again for your patience, always appreciate you guys being so kind and considerate towards me. please enjoy this part!

all parts: pt.1, pt.2, pt.3, pt.4, pt.5,

December | Tokyo, Japan | Tuesday

Nanami’s clients extended their visit. 

It has been more than a week since he and Haibara have been hosting them. Within that week, you might have seen Nanami maybe 3 times, if that. As much as it was good not to see him, you were a bit down. The once perfect dynamic now fell in the hands of complicated feelings and uncertain distance. The duality of emotion. 

You found yourself a bit lost when clocking in. Subconsciously, you’d head over to the cafe and get Nanami his coffee. But now, as his new assistants have been assigned to do that, your subconscious has trouble assimilating. Your cubicle area feels hollow without Nanami tapping away answering emails and clocking numbers. Lunches that were always coordinated were now taken on your lonesome. 

But, Haibara was one who would never let you get tortured by your own thoughts for long. “Y/N,” he sounds from behind. You don’t look over your shoulder, as your eyes are glued to your current assignment. You were fixing the words of a contract that Nanami and Takada curated together for a different client, making sure everything was concise and ready for the legal team to review. 

“Mm,” you hum in response, listening as he took a seat in what once was Nanami’s creak. 

“I have some work for you,” Haibara begins. “But before that, I was wondering if you’d like to have lunch later? With me, of course.” 

You type one more word before freeing the keyboard, “you have the time to catch lunch with me?” 

Haibara nods contently, “Nanami and I sealed the deal, so he and Takada shacho will be having lunch with the clients at that boujee steakhouse a few blocks from the office.” 

You smile warmly, “congratulations, Haibara! I’m really happy for you guys.” 

“Thank ya, thank ya,” he ‘humbly’ bows at your curt praise. “It was grueling but we did it.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t go with them to celebrate,” you ask, furrowing your brows a bit in confusion. 

Haibara shrugs, “I was invited to go, but I wanted to catch up with you. It’s been a bit of time since we’ve been able to talk, besides me coming to give you work from Nanami.”

He’s too good to me. “Ah, please don’t let me be the reason you miss out on the best T-Bone steak of your life,” you say in a lamenting tone. 

Haibara waives your worries, “you’re going through a shitty time, and I don’t want you to go through that alone. We can have a shitty time together.” 

“Pff,” you huff, but you couldn’t hide the smile you had. Haibara truly was a warm soul, and you were beyond lucky to have created such a good friendship with him. “What is the assignment you need me to do?” 

“Ah right!” Haibara fishes out a flashdrive from his black dress pants. He plops it on the desk, and flicks it towards you, the hard plastic sliding on the sleek surface. “This is the original presentation that you created for these very clients as the game plan for our collaboration. You made this in the case that it goes well, which it did.” 

“Correct,” you kept up. 

“Because they have agreed, Nanami needs updated numbers than the ones we have in all the charts and diagrams,” Haibara instructs, “nothing huge, just replacing all of those with our recent numbers. The information written will still be correct as it explains our steady ascension in the market.” 

“Got it, got it,” you spew, your brain getting wrecked from all his words. You take the flashdrive in your hand and plug it into your computer. “It shouldn’t take too long, but I’ll review the written work just to make sure it truly is consistent. I’ll also send you and Nanami an email noting all the changes.” 

“Sounds good to me.” 

“Anyways, where are we eating?” You change topics upon the growling in your stomach. As you click away in editing the powerpoint, Haibara slides over a card to you. Looking down, it’s a small reservation slip for two at a steakhouse. “So you’re still getting steak?” 

“I never said I wasn’t getting steak,” Haibara says amusingly. He fixes the small strand of black hair that came out from his excitement and he looks down at the reservation eagerly. “Takada shacho says I should take you out as well, as your work backed up everything we did this entire week.”

You widen your eyes, “me?” 

“Y/N, you’re literally the biggest asset to this department,” Haibara whispers, attempting not to make your other colleagues feel inferior. “All these guys here are assets, too, but you are the direct backbone to Nanami’s reputation as our Head of Department. He can afford to make mistakes because you’re always there to reverse them or catch them before they happen. You’ve also made an effort to become the liaison between the team and Nanami, something that wasn’t quite there before.” 

You look away, ignoring his praise, “that’s very kind of you to say, but I’m just an assistant. I just do what I’m told, Haibara.” 

“You do what you’re told in a way that exceeds what’s expected of you,” Haibara notes. “Like I said, there was a reason you were transferred to our department. You’re resourceful anywhere you go, it seems, as I heard Sales was not your first department either.” 

You nod with a small smile, “you’re absolutely right, it was not.” 

“It was Legal, no?” Haibara recollects. “Hence why you assist with a lot of our contract-making in this department.”

“Someones gotta get these quick approvals,” you joke, “and you all are the turtles in that race.” 

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Finish up what you’re doing and get ready. There’s a steak with my name on it!” Haibara chimes, his brain filled with steak and wine. 

This weather was unkind. You knew it wasn’t going to be kind anytime soon, as Japan was going through the heart of the winter time, but you still had some heat to complain about. The two of you trekked through the fury of winds and snow to make it to the restaurant. Tae was kind enough to prepare a very hot tea before your lunch, as you visited the cafe for a few minutes waiting for Haibara to finish his own work (the hypocrite). He even drew a cute smiley face on your cup. 

“For Haibara.” Your coats and garments get taken by a few gentlemen at the front before being guided by the host. She guides the both of you through the restaurant, two menus under her arm. You could tell this was a restaurant frequented by the corporate workers in the area. Everyone was ornate in suits and office wear, with discussions of work blaring in every side of your hearing periphery. It made you glad you wore one of your favorite pencil skirts, as it was this tight fitting skirt that complimented your legs. Despite this being somewhat of a work lunch, you were glad to look nice in a room of intimidation. 

During your escort, the two of you caught the eye of Nanami, Takada, and the clients in a long table on your own. Haibara allows the woman to finish guiding the both of you, before he quickly nudges for you to join him in greeting them. Your face pales at the thought alone of meeting highly respected clients, but a pair of familiar hazel eyes puts you at ease. 

Nanami was the first to get up from his chair, and walked over to the both of you. He was… wearing a navy blue suit, with a black tie. It had been since the first holiday party you spent in the Finance Department that you saw Nanami in such attire. Even now, he still looks ever so sharp, with the fabric struggling to stay together against the mountains of Nanami’s muscles. Even with your feelings in disarray, there was no denying the instant uplift in feelings from Nanami’s smile. 

He rests one of his hands on the middle of your back, feeling the light warmth of his palm. His smile towards you doesn’t flicker for a moment, hazel eyes warm and rich like chocolate. “This is my true assistant, Y/L/N-san. Although Takada shacho has kindly lent me his assistants, this woman here is the one who truly does it all for me.” 

A few of the clients rise and go towards you to shake your hand. You shyly put out your hand and curtly bow before each of them. “I’m so sorry to make you all stand up and greet me while you all are enjoying lunch. Please, ignore me and continue!” 

“We’d be crazy not to greet a woman who is highly regarded such as yourself,” one gentleman hums. He shakes your hand, allowing the hold to linger as he eyed you. “Nanami-san has told us plenty about your work under him, so it’s a pleasure to see the beauty behind his words.” 

You feel your cheeks warm, “a-ah, thank you very much! That’s very kind of you to say.” 

Another client chimes, “don’t be so modest! Sit and eat with us!” 

You look over quickly at Nanami, before you face the president of the company. You find an excuse to free your hand from one of the gentlemen before curtly bowing at Takada. “Good afternoon, Shacho-san. I apologize for interrupting your meal.” 

Takada smiles warmly up at you, gesturing for you to go over to him. You lament leaving the safety of Nanami’s hand on your back and go over to Takada. From his seat, he offers you his hand and shakes it kindly. “You are not interrupting a thing, Y/N. If you’d like to join us, you absolutely may. But as you two both have a reservation, I’d hate to take you from that. I assume you two have some work to be discussed?” 

Haibara coughs, clearly allergic to the word ‘work’ during his break. But you go along with it, using it as a hopeful excuse to not sit with them. “Thank you for thinking of me when making the reservation, Shacho. Haibara kacho just recently touched on my new assignment from Nanami kacho, so I was hoping to get more details about it during our meal.” 

Takada smiles up warmly, “such a diligent worker. Remind me to thank Geto-san, as he was the one who hired you. We should have a meeting soon to discuss your growth here in this company, Y/N.” 

>Insert Geto being the head of the Legal Department, and the man who scouted you initially to be his assistant.

Your stomach churns at the thought of being transferred again. Especially since you’ve found a comfortable flow within your department under Nanami. At least, when it was comfortable. 

“I’ll be readily available for that conversation, Shacho-san,” you shyly let out. 

With your nerves running high, you begin to really realize your setting and take note of a few things. One, all of the clients have kept their eyes on you the entire time. Two, Nanami was glaring at the client that just finished shaking your hand. And three, of all things, you noticed that Takada has 4 vacant seats near him.. 

“B-but, I do hope you all enjoy your meal!” You quickly spew out, returning to the topic at hand. “I apologize for not being able to greet the remainder of your guests, Shacho-san.” Curiosity truly bested you. 

“Ah, they are just my assistants that you’re already familiar with, Y/N,” Takada informs. “They’ve been happily helping us host our dear clients during this time. I hope they’ve given you the opportunity to have some space from your helicopter boss.” 

Takadas joke lands well with everyone except Nanami, who now holds a less content expression. He quickly makes his way towards you, his eyes filled with conviction. On his way, he pats Haibara’s shoulder before cementing himself by your side. But you hold no feelings towards Nanami, as you were busy not trying to take any offense. Although Takada offered and you weren’t expecting a seat during this meal, it was peculiar that Nanami made no effort to include you.

“As the both of us are here now, I’d like to take the opportunity to speak to Y/N-san regarding the assignment I recently sent to her,” Nanami hums, moving more in front of you now. You remained quiet, no words finding its way out of your mouth. Nanami looks over at Haibara, “I’ll be borrowing her briefly, if that’s alright.” 

Haibara looks at you but you make an effort to tame his worry. Reluctantly, he smiles and nods, “that's perfect. Let us dine to a successful collaboration!” Haibara riles the men, as they begin to beckon over waitresses for a round of drinks.

Nanami takes this moment to guide you away from the suddenly energetic table, and brings you towards an elevator. There, a guard stood, but moved the moment he saw Nanami. He taps the elevator’s button before moving aside, allowing you two to enter upon its arrival. You two stood in the brass elevator, your short heels digging into the tacky red fabric on the elevator floor. Silence sauntered between the two of you. 

But now in this limited space, you felt a sense of calm. Though your feelings were still in a ditch, you were giving them more and more thought. You’ve been more or less conducting yourself well, considering the couple of days that you spent crying over Nanami’s words. It draws the question of whether or not your feelings were true towards him. Or perhaps they are true, and you’re just feigning it to cope. 

Either way, you couldn’t help but envy Nanami’s indifference. Your eyes lend over to him, seeing his straight stature, and sharp appearance. Both hands were housed in his pockets, and his eyes focused strictly on the doors of the elevator. You couldn’t prove it, but you had a very strong feeling that this was not going to go well. 

The elevator halts, and the two of you free yourselves after the ascend. It was the top of the restaurant, which was entirely covered by a glass dome. But the beauty of the floor was its greenery. Trees, shrubs, and flowers alike flourished in this greenhouse-like environment. You were quite impressed that these greens could flourish while the restaurant still maintained a comfortable temperature. 

In the center of it all, was a humble bar. 

“Would you like a drink, Y/N?” 

You pause. “Do you have any more assignments for me today?” 

Nanami simply shakes his head, starting the stride for the both of you towards the bar. “Just the assignment I told Haibara to share with you.” 

“Then I suppose a few shots wouldn’t be too bad,” you say calmly, loosening your hair from the tight ponytail you had it in. You allow your hair to bounce freely, finding a lot of peace from the release of the pressure. “Are you paying?” 

Nanami shakes his head, “Takada rented out the space completely. It’s under the company’s card.” 

“6 shots of Anejo, please,” you calmly requested the dark tequila. The bartender nods before disappearing to find the very expensive liquor. 

“I didn’t realize you were a drinker, Y/N,” Nanami begins. He pulls out one of the seats and offers a hand. You take his hand, feeling the bursts of emotion in your heart from his touch. His palms were cold, dry, and ornate with callouses. But somehow, his fingers were soft as they delicately touched the top of your own. You carefully take a seat, keeping your free hand under your rear to make sure your pencil skirt didn't hike up. The last thing you needed was to flash the guy who rejected you. 

You shake your head, “no, no, ‘m not so much of a drinker. But I do have a preference for dark liquors.” 

“I’m shocked,” Nanami takes the seat to your left, “you’re someone with quite the sweet tooth for drinks.” 

“I’m not really crazy about drinking, but I do drink. I prefer to get drunk quicker with less, than to waste money getting drunk after 10 sweet drinks.” 

“It’s on the company card, you wouldn’t be wasting money of your own.” 

You shrug, “force of habit.” 

It felt good to talk like this. Not restricted at work, nor floaty from Nanami’s presence. Though, you had to admit that the only reason you could speak like this was because you haven’t met his eyes since you two got here. 

Before another word is exchanged, your shots make their way to your area. The bartender kindly splits it between the both of you, and three shot glasses sit patiently before you. You pick up one of the shots, with Nanami following your lead. With a quiet clank, you both down your shot. 

“Mm, before I forget,” you murmur, dabbing the loose liquor from your bottom lip. You dig your hand into your pocket, fishing out the flashdrive Haibara passed you. “Here’s the revised presentation. I tweaked everything regarding our company’s growth so far this year, the revenue, how we will benefit from this collaboration, and prospectively how our clients will benefit from it as well.” 

“You did that all just today?” Nanami’s words were imbued with surprise. He was impressed. 

You shook your head, “I’m not that amazing, Nanami kacho. I was already drafting it during your time with them. I’ve had a lot of free time, as you’ve sporadically given me assignments, or independent work I have long been ahead of.” 

He quickly takes the flashdrive from you, “I don’t even know why I ask– you’re excellent, as usual. With that said, I wanted to ask you the question I wanted to ask from the other day.” 

“Hm?” 

“I’ve been wondering why you’ve been addressing me with ‘kacho,’” Nanami asks simply. “This has been a sudden and recent development that I don’t quite understand.” 

“You’re my boss,” you urge, your fingers sliding your second shot closer to you. You could feel your heart get just a bit heavier. “These are the formalities we’re to have with one another.”

“Y/N, you have not called me that since your first month under me,” Nanami reminds you. “It’s perfectly fine if you would like to revert back, but I would at least like a heads up, or a reason why.” 

“Do I have to tell you why I’ve decided to address you more respectfully again?” You take the shot glass in your hand, ready to down it. “It's the expectation.” 

Nanami shakes his head, “it is not the expectation anymore when this is something we agreed to drop. When you started calling me that, I wasn’t sure what happened. Would you like me to also address you with honorifics again?” 

“If you’d like,” you spew nonchalantly. You down your second shot.

“Even the way you speak is different,” Nanami points out. He, too, drinks his second shot. He shakes slightly from the sudden strength of the alcohol. “All of this started happening since the day I came over to your apartment to work. If I may ask, did I offend you on my visit?”

”Does it matter?” 

“It does matter,” Nanami coos, “to me, it matters. The way we get along is very important to me.” 

Your heart threatens to flutter from his words. But your hurt feelings were riding your mind, and producing your words. “I’m just your assistant. I was forced on you by Takada shacho.”

“And where did you hear that from?” Nanami looks over at you, trying to find answers in your distant expression. “Did you hear that through a rumor? Our department's amount of gossiping is unbecoming of my expectations.” 

“You have been working with this company for a long time,” you begin slowly. “Within your tenureship, you haven’t had an assistant since Haibara was promoted. Why did you accept now of all times?” 

Nanami emits a sigh, his hand snaking towards the third shot, “I’ll tell you if you look at me.” 

A nausea surges from your stomach, and your body goes a bit cold from nerves. You were able to speak so boldly like this from not meeting those hazel eyes, and that handsome face. It was easy to speak this openly without staring at his neat, blonde locks or the way his suit hugs his maintained body. It was all easy when you weren’t facing him, and the reality of your situation. It was easy not to look directly at your crush, and the feelings that haven’t tainted, even after his time at your apartment. 

You down the third shot, gesturing to the bartender with a lifted finger spinning in a circle. He nods at your request for another round and clears your now empty shot glasses. You emit a struggling sigh, slowly turning your head to face Nanami. You bit your tongue, noticing the glimmer of hurt in his own eyes. But he smiles warmly still, despite everything. 

“You’re still a woman of trade,” he says, almost in a relieving tone. “This sounds like we need to air out a lot of things between us. So I suppose this is the best time to be honest with you, yes? Geto and Shoko have told me all about your talent from being both of their assistants since you started. So I… had known about you before you were assigned to me. Shacho spoke to me about it, and I was less reluctant because I had heard nothing but good when it came to you.”

This was interesting. You had not a clue who Nanami was, only that he was the head of Finance. You never interacted with him, simply only knowing him through passing words from Geto, Shoko and your fellow colleagues between both departments. He was somewhat famous within the company for being such a hard worker, someone who got promoted seamlessly to an executive position within a year's time. But you were here for a paycheck, and paid no mind to irrelevant people. But he knew about you. 

“So, you accepted me because you knew I was really good at my job?” You began, squinting your eyes curiously. 

“Rather, I wanted to see if you were truly worth what was said about you,” Nanami explains. “Your ability to excel in different areas of work intrigued me, and I wanted to see how you would perform in my department.” 

“So you wanted to test me?” You spat, “like some experiment?” 

Nanami felt a pit of regret in his throat. “No, no, please don’t take it like that, Y/N,” Nanami backtracks, “you have no idea how impressed I am with your work, and have no regrets taking you on as my assistant. But word of mouth alone doesn’t convince me of someone's greatness. I had to see it for myself, if that’s less brute.” 

“What, were you just bored then?” You couldn’t really understand him. This was all too new for you. “What did you gain from this? Satisfying your curiosity by expecting a 50% chance of me not being what I’ve been highly regarded as?” 

Shots joined the both of you, but the heat of the conversation made them remain in the background. Nanami rubs his eyes with dragging hands, “Y/N, listen to me good and well, because I’m not going to let you misunderstand me. I am extremely grateful to have gotten an assistant like you because I refuse to have anybody that doesn’t match my work ethic. Although I was not a fan of having an assistant, I only ever heard good things. I knew you’d be great, but you surpassed my already high expectations of you.” 

“Nanami kacho–” 

“Please, stop calling me that,” Nanami interrupts you. “I admit that it’s a bit upsetting for our relationship to revert back into a strict manner. I can accept that you’re uncomfortable with it, but I’d at least like to know why and if there’s any way I can mend it.” 

“Can you make it clear what sort of relationship we have?” You nitpick now. 

“What do you mean?” Nanami’s expression held genuine confusion. “You’re my assistant, and I’m your boss.” 

You could feel yourself wanting to cry a bit. “So why does it matter if I address you as kacho again?” 

“Because we established some comradery between us,” Nanami points out, “is it bad that I feel comfortable with you to drop honorifics and be less formal?” 

“Do you see me as a friend?” You ask quietly, trying your best to calm the coating of tears in your eyes. You were seeing him in a gentle blur, almost the physical embodiment of your current feeling of disconnect. 

“I… see you as one of my most trustworthy colleagues,” Nanami carefully places his words in his sentence. “We’re friend-ly, in a sense. I enjoy working with you.” 

You were coming to your limit. You finally found the deadend that you were trying to avoid for such a long time. But as you faced Nanami, seeing his cheeks turn a light hue of pink, you knew that your heart would always be right. 

You like Nanami. 

You like the fact that he’s a workaholic, but is always content whenever you are able to ease his workload. 

You like that he always shows his appreciation towards you, never forgetting to say thank you, or reminding you that you were an asset to him and the department. 

You like that he gets excited when you plan your shared lunch, and already know what he wants/would probably like. 

You like that he wears the same blue shirt. 

You like that he drinks coffee with half a fig in it. You love that he confided in you regarding the reason. 

But, even so. 

“Nanami, you did offend me when you came to my apartment,” you changed topics. Your heart was beating fast, your nerves making you want to shut up and run away. But it was time to clear the air. It was time to give the confession you deserved to do before a rumor forced you back into your shell. “It regards the rumor you heard about… me liking you.” 

“Oh?” He was surprised. 

“Those rumors are absolutely correct,” you admitted, though your throat was ready to close up and force your words back down. You grab one of the new shot glasses and down it. “Mm,” you hum, wiping some loose liquor from your lip, “I do like you, Nanami. I have had a crush on you for a while now, but after the way you reacted to just the rumor of it, I couldn’t go back to how we were.” 

Nanami looks at you, his eyes looking desperately around your face. It was almost like he was waiting for you to say ‘just kidding!’ and laugh it off like it was a prank. But you only continued to down your shots, waiting for any response. You found solace in the alcohol, allowing it to rebuild the little courage that was lagging. 

“Why… how come,” Nanami’s words were spotty, you finally had him speechless. If only the context wasn’t shitty. “How come you never cleared it up that day? Why did you go along with it?” 

“Because you looked so relieved when you believed it to be just a rumor, a lie,” you spouted. Tears were finally welling up in your eyes, triggered by the recollection of that day. “Almost as if you were glad that I didn’t actually like you.” 

“It is… easier for me to be on my own than to be romantically affiliated with someone,” Nanami admits softly. His words were still fairly cool, but his tone was low in an attempt to not offend you any more than he has. “I’m not… good with people having feelings towards me. It complicates things. Especially if it's a coworker.” 

“We spend more time with one another than with our friends or loved ones,” you rationalized, “it’s not foreign if feelings develop between us, considering how much we see one another.” 

“So explain why I don’t share that sentiment,” Nanami says coolly. You widen your eyes at him, your heart finally turning over in its grave. He quickly holds your elbow, noticing the agony in your expression. Warm tears spill down your burning cheeks. His touch feels like lava. “That’s not what I meant to say, Y/N, please let me fix my words.” 

You snatch your elbow out of his hand, “thank you for being honest with me about your own feelings.” You grab a tissue from the box at the bar, and blow into it. You could tell your entire face was red, which was embarrassing considering you had to go back to the office in a bit. “I apologize that my feelings brought us here.” 

Nanami quickly puts an arm between you and the shot glasses you were aiming for, “Y/N, I’m sorry for being insensitive towards you. I didn't mean to say what I said just now. At least, not the way I said it.”

You shake your head, your eyes giving him a pained gaze, “no, no, it’s better like this. You’re being direct with me… I’d rather that you don’t try to spare my feelings.” 

Nanami felt his world go dim. It was strange to confront you like this. You would not be the first woman who ended in tears upon confessing their feelings to him. And he would always attempt to soothe their hearts before paying the tab of whatever bar or dinner they were left to sob. But seeing the light leave your eyes, and your hollow expression left a mark in his memory. 

He wanted to respond, but his mouth went dry. It was like the alcohol was on your side, as his tongue couldn’t even bounce off the words he wanted to say. It bothered him that you looked away and have yet to look back, almost like you were ready to leave your feelings behind right this moment. As if… you were moving on right now. 

He didn’t want to let you go back, not like this, no. But he felt powerless now. And before he could respond with something, anything, you hop out of your seat. He notices the shot glasses were now empty, and keeps his gaze on you. “H-hey, don’t go back like this– please have a glass of water and calm down first.” 

Your body was warm and loose, but you weren’t eager to be near him any longer. You ignore his offer. “Don’t lose that flashdrive for tomorrow.” You properly put on your purse, and adjust your pencil skirt. Before you leave, you face Nanami once more. You see his flush face, a mixture of his own complicated feelings and the alcohol taking its toll. His hazel eyes were dark, their glow was fleeting. He looked lost, and felt distant. But, you lend him a small, weak smile. “Thank you for letting me like you. It’s been fun.” 

“Y/N,” your name leaves his mouth like a broken piano key. You curtly bow and turn around, allowing yourself to cry more aggressively (yet quietly) as Nanami watches your figure get smaller until you are completely out of sight. 

But he knew better than to think you’d be out of mind, too.

Taglist: [Now Closed]

@blossomedfloweroflove @numblytemporary @everyoneandtheirmothers @animechick555 @inthedarkshadows000

@m-arj-1 @julk4e @hadassery @swoozleee @angxlsatvrn

@v1x3n @s-witch-bitch @furgusonn @watyousayin @thechaoticarchivist

@simp-manhwa @5sos-wdw @ffyona1214 @phantombaby @evangel44xxcds

@ukiyodestiny @jasminelee324 @eurydxceorphxus @moonlightazriel @s3rp3ntsssc0ve

@dusty-dweller @wifenanami @bokuatsubro

[kkayyerr]

i sick too! maybe you could do something with daddy rafe looking after a sick reader? i got very clingy when i sick. i hopes you feels better soon!

Sickening

Summary: Pogues let little!reader get sick and daddy!Rafe is not happy about that.

Warnings: Age regression; none.

Authors note: For everyone who’s sick and especially for @marvelfanfics1 🫶🏻.

Rafe was cursing himself for letting you hang out with the pogues. He would never let that happen, if only that day he wouldn’t have to deal with something that he didn’t want your little mind to know. Sarah asks him to babysit you, promising that nothing bad will happen to you and that she and the Pogues will follow all his instructions. Of course they hadn’t. Because if they had, you wouldn’t have stood in front of him right now, looking awfully sick. 

 „Sarah, are you telling me that you let her go swimming? In the middle of October? And where is her jacket?”

 Rafe was trying so hard to control his emotions right now, so he wouldn’t scare you, but he was failing. Thoughts of Pogues letting you do things that were actually dangerous made him furious, and he didn’t even want to hear any of Sarah’s excuses.He was even more mad at himself, for thinking that those assholes would actually care about your well-being and not forget about everything that he had said to them. He was about to start yelling at his sister again as he heard your trembling voice.

 „Daddy"

 Rafe almost immediately turned to look at you, and what he saw almost made him even more angry. You were standing in front of him, your gaze unfocused and your limbs trembling. You were obviously struggling to stay still because of the exhaustion. He quickly approached you, touching your forehead with his palm.

 „Baby, you’re burning.”

 He knew that you probably had a fever and that he has to do something about that immediately, before you would get even more sick. His hands quickly grabbed your waist, helping you to stay on your feet, so you won’t fall and hurt yourself even more.

 „We need to get you inside, can you walk?”

 You didn’t say anything. Instead, you just shook your head and did the grabby hands, letting him know that you would like to get carry on inside. Rafe nodded, picking you up and giving you a kiss on the forehead, checking your temperature once again, with his lips this time.

It was definitely too high. 

He waited a few seconds, as you were getting comfortable in his arms, wrapping your hands around his neck and then Rafe headed to the house.

 „We’re not done with that conversation yet, Sarah."

 Rafe said, before closing the door and carrying you upstairs to your bedroom. You felt too dizzy to even say a word, even though you were feeling so guilty for going against his rules just because he wasn’t there at the moment. You also felt sorry for Sarah, you didn’t want him to yell at her like that. When you got to the bedroom he carefully put you in your bed, immediately covering you in your favorite blanket that he prepared earlier, waiting for you to come back from your little playdate with the Pogues.

The last play date, actually.

He wasn’t planning on letting you hang out with them anymore, not without his supervision at least. After you were fully covered, he smiled to you softly and stood up, heading to the small medicine cabinet that he kept there just in case you would catch a cold or something like that. He then came back with the small pill and let out a small chuckle as you gave him a pouty face. 

 „I know, I know, baby, it’s yucky. But we need to make you healthy again, right?”

 You kept your mouth closed, making him roll his eyes. You would always become so grumpy and bratty when you got sick, and even though it was hard to deal with you when you were like this, he would still find a way to make you do as he said.

Always.

 „Don’t wanna”

 You mumbled, looking at him with a small frown, that Rafe honestly was finding adorable, even though he won’t tell you that. He rolled his eyes, one of his hands approaching your tummy. He then started to slowly wiggle his fingers in a threatening manner, warning you about the consequences of not listening to him.

 „Are you going to be a good girl for Daddy, or do I need to tickle that grumpy attitude right out of you?” 

 Your mouth opened right away, finally letting him put that pill on your tongue. You then swallowed it, hating that icky bitter taste that now was all over your mouth.Rafe patted your head, informing you that he’s proud of you for taking your medication so well, even though it probably had an awful taste.

 „Good girl.”

 Rafe’s face expression changed to confusion as he saw that your reaction to his words was unusual. Instead of the happy smile, he saw a little hint of guilt on your face that disturbed him; you had never reacted to his words like that before.

Have those Pogues tell you something about him that changed your mind?

„Baby, is everything alright?”

 You shook your head, looking a little bit embarrassed. You head tilted down, and he could’ve swear that you even wanted to cry for a second, but then you quickly put yourself together, letting out a loud sigh. Rafe was looking even more worried right now, not understanding what was the deal.

 „I’m not a good girl; I’m a bad girl, Daddy. I didn’t listen to you and... and.”

 He saw that you were getting even more anxious with every word that had come out of your mouth, so he decided to quickly stop you by pressing a small kiss onto your forehead, letting you know that everything is okay.

 "It’s okay. It’s my fault actually; I shouldn’t have left you with those... Pogues.”

 Rafe pulled you closer, holding your trembling body in his arms and placing his head on your shoulder, smiling softly to you. He wanted you to know that he’s not going to punish you for the mistakes that other people made—the other idiots, actually. 

 „But don’t scream at Sarah, otay?"

 He laughed at your ask, considering what he would have to say to his sister, so she would understand what problems she had caused this time. Maybe you were right; no amount of screaming will help her little brain understand that sometimes she has to take some responsibility.

 „Alright, alright.”

 Rafe didn’t want you to think about Sarah right now, because your body and your mind needed peace and comfort right now, not some stupid thoughts about his not less stupid sister. Not some stupid thoughts about Pogues.

 „But you still earned yourself a punishment, you know?”

 And the next minute, both his hands started to restlessly tickle your poor tummy. Well, at least you clearly didn’t think about stupid worries anymore.

Taglist: @marvelfanfics1 @rafecameronsloverrrrr @aew-regression-cove

[gooobraghhh]

You should post instructions for T-boys to touch themselves to. I wanna cum from your instructions.

God I figured you people would have enough brain power to know how to get yourselves off but if you really need my help I guess I can instruct you. I’m sure if you’re looking for this post you’re probably messy enough to start especially with how inevitably pent up trans guys always are. Start by taking whatever your favorite toy is ( I know you probably own several with how needy you are) and play with it in your mouth. Imagine you’re really trying to impress a pretty girl (or anyone you’ve been wanting attention from) with how good your fuck hole of a mouth feels, and be sure they know just how deep in your throat you can take it. Once you’ve drooled all over the toy and probably yourself make sure to put it nice and deep in your cunt. If that’s not enough repeat the process with another toy to go in your ass too, it’s important you feel filled up. Once you’re adjusted, grab your toy and slowly move it in and out of you. You can start speeding up but make sure not give any attention to that pathetically hard dick of yours. You have to save your most sensitive areas for later. Keep fucking yourself until you’re absolutely desperate to play with your cock. If that’s hard for you try keeping the toys in while you get work done so you have to use your hands for something else. If you’re really struggling with your free hand you can also use it to move a toy in your ass. I’m sure for most people getting penetrated and fucked in both holes would be very difficult to handle but needy boy sluts like you can definitely take it. Make sure to play with yourself until you get as close as to cumming as you can. If you’re a guy who can’t get off without using his dick than perfect! You can just fuck yourself as hard as possible and know you frustratingly won’t ever fully get off. If your a sensitive puppy who might cum just from his messy cunt than be sure to stop yourself before you finish, boys like you usually need someone to help keep them in check. This process can take as long as you need, I usually keep guys at this stage for hours but it’s really just important that the only thing you can think about is how badly you want to cum from your t dick. Once you’re there start slow. Use your finger to gently rub and tease yourself. If you’ve done everything right for me you’ll probably be so sensitive that even this feels incredible. This depends your tdick size but if you can, grab the skin around your dick between two of your fingers and gently stroke it up and down, if you’re doing it right you should feel your fingers teasing the sides of your dick up and down without touching the very sensitive top and front of your cock. Once again do this until you’re extremely close to cumming. At this point you’ll probably feel much closer to finishing so it’s critical you have the self control to let go just before you cum. You’ll know if you stopped close enough if your squirming and bucking your hips and up and down on your toy, feeling like you’re gonna lose your mind. Set a number for yourself like 10 or 20 and make sure to get really close that many times. ( if any guys need me to assign them this number make sure to dm me <3). You’ll feel yourself getting close faster and faster each time. Once you reach your number like the obedient pretty boy you are start again but with whatever method of touching yourself feels the best. It could just be using your fingers more aggressively but for guys like you, you probably have several toys you like to use on your tdick. Set another number, preferably a larger one since you’re already spoiling yourself with your favorite toy and go fully at fucking and playing with yourself. You should feel like your about to cum within seconds of doing this but make sure each time to pull away and reset yourself. You should be losing your mind, feeling like you’re going crazy with each failure to cum. Your body should feel insane with pleasure and don’t blame me if you make a mess. Reach your number you have my permission to cum for me but make sure to keep going so you get the most out of your orgasm <3

[kurooh]

Thanks sweetie🥺🥺

Can't believe my boys don't have a birthday💀 ALSO, now I can't stop thinking about riding Ino in the backseat and hearing him whimpering🫣

🐺

⊹ ₊˚. TEST DRIVE. car shopping with ino goes in another direction when you’re looking around the backseat.

warnings. 18+ content — mdni, f! reader, fluff, cowgirl, car sex, ino’s whimpers, cockwarming, creampie

xoxo, juno. happy birthday again <33 🎉

“she runs well, don’t you think?” ino’s fingers squeeze your thigh as he takes the car down the road, cruising along smoothly. despite a few bumps in the asphalt, the car cushions them with a bounce so that neither of you feel it.

“this is a pretty nice car, babe,” you sigh, leaning back in your seat and savoring the view of the sunset through the tree leaves.

since your last shared car broke down, ino decided to take you shopping for a new one. he prefers the sports cars, and wanted to take one out for a test drive, but you’d told him absolutely not. knowing him, it would be easy to get carried away and then end up having to pay thousands after an accidental crash.

“do you like the color? we can always get it wrapped with your favorite,” he turns to you with a wink, beanie sagging on the back of his head while stray hairs hang around his forehead.

“always so thoughtful,” you laugh, “i think the fact that this car runs well is more important than the color. oh, wait, we didn’t look around at the trunk to see how much space it has.”

“shit, you’re right,” ino agrees, turning on his directional just before pulling off to the side of the road, tires sliding on a patch of grass. he unlocks his door but doesn’t unlock yours, making you roll your eyes.

“give me the keys—”

“ahem. you may step out now, m’lady.” before you know it, ino’s raced over to the passenger side to considerately open your door for you.

“come here,” you hold your arms out, jumping onto him happily, and he spins in a circle with a laugh. “ugh, you’re such a cutie.”

he giggles, his beanie slipping off the back of his head and onto the grass. you’re quick to pick it up and put it on your head, and he kisses your forehead with a chuckle.

“you’re almost rocking it better than me.”

“that would be a true statement if you didn’t use the word ‘almost’.”

ino hits a button on the key fob, effectively popping open the trunk for you to both look into. it’s spacious, with plenty of room for groceries or whatever else you may be driving around with.

“backseat,” you instruct, closing the trunk and opening the back doors. ino climbs in beside you, thoroughly impressed.

“well, well, well,” he strokes his chin with a finger, eyes closing in faux contemplation. “this is quite a nice backseat, wouldn’t you agree? it’s very roomy, in my opinion.”

“mmm, yeah,” you play along, laying down and resting your head on his thigh. “i can even lay down fully without being cramped. you should try it too, taku.”

“really now?” and you nod, sitting up and scooting over to where he’s sitting. ino lays back, knees bent just a little because you’re taking up some of the space.

“this is quite a nice backseat,” you both fight back your laughter, playing along with the dumb little scene. it’s clear you’re both thinking the same thing when the smiles fall from your faces the second you’re straddling his waist, squeezing him between your thighs.

“wow, hot stuff. look so good wearing my beanie.” his tone is playful as his hands squeeze your hips, making you roll your eyes as you lean forward.

“shut up and give me a kiss, taku.”

ino’s lips meet yours in an impatient, hungry kiss. the force behind it is practically bruising as he sneaks a few light bites to your lower lip to get you to open up. your lips part around a gasp as you start to bounce on his lap, feeling his hard cock through all the layers of clothes.

“s-shit,” he whines, back arching and lips pulling away from yours after a particularly hard drag of your hips against his. “baby, i want these off.” he tugs at your shorts, quickly shimmying out of his jeans and sweeping up the hem of his shirt to expose his belly.

“what do you want, hm?” you ask, shorts and panties off. your ass is up as you kiss at his belly, fingers sweeping beneath his waistband.

“uh, i-i want to be inside you,” ino swallows, fingernails digging into his palms as you slip off his boxers, exposing his hard cock to the air.

you giggle, blowing out some air on it, and he bites back a whimper, hips twisting. “doors are locked, right?” you ask, distracting him. he pulls out the key fob and fumbles with it, locking the doors and almost popping the trunk in his haste.

“calm down, taku,” and your voice is honeyed and sweet as you plant a hand on his stomach, slowly lowering yourself down onto his cock. the head nudges between your folds and grows sticky with a mix of precum and your own slick.

just a little grinding and kissing, and you’re both this desperate. it’s impressive, really, the way you’re already trembling and he’s biting marks into his lower lip as he wills himself not to cum yet. the beanie on your head combined with the way you’re panting as you rub your wet cunt along the length of his cock is too much.

“d-don’t,” ino huffs out, and you look up at him. “don’t start up with that damn teasing, please don’t. baby, i need you right here, right now.”

“patience,” you answer, swallowing at the sight of cars racing by from the corner of your eye.

“come on, i just want you to—” he cuts himself off with an embarrassed noise, throwing an arm over his eyes. “you know i don’t say this often, b-but, i want you to fuck me.”

“taku, you know i will,” you let out a breathy gasp as you sink down on his cock, moving so slowly that he’s forced to buck upwards. in one movement, his cock is fully sheathed inside you, wrapped by your twitching walls. his throat bobs as you start to move, eyes widening as he watches your pussy eagerly swallow his whole cock.

oh god, is it possible to get lightheaded from sex?

only thoughts of pleasure race through your empty head as you fuck yourself onto his cock, breath hitching each time his tip hits your cervix. he’s so deep, so big — the perfect size.

ino’s enchanted, tears building in his eyes as he watches the delicious bounce of your tits and savors every single moan that falls from your lips. your pussy’s so wet and warm, comforting in a way that nothing else could ever be — fuck, is he really about to cum this quickly?

you notice as his breathing grows frantic, heat rushing through your body at the prospect of him finishing this quickly; excitement chases it, the idea of overstimulating him electrifying. you’re squeezing around him like a vice, pussy eager to drink in everything he’s got, and it’s hard to hold on.

“babe, baby,” he huffs out, his voice tight. “kiss me, i want a kiss.”

ino’s hands help you lean forward, fingers digging into your sides as his lips mesh against yours. once again, a perfect fit — he’s so in love, so absolutely infatuated with you in every single way someone could be. the loose beanie slips forward, off your head, onto his face.

you giggle, pulling away to fix it; his lips drag along your cheek as you adjust it on his own head, hips pausing momentarily. he’s so cute like this — a flush high on his cheeks, eyes glassy, lips pulled into a pout as he waits for you to hurry up with his beanie. if you’re still busy with that thing in the next three seconds, ino swears he’ll throw it out the damn window.

“you okay?” you pant, hands falling away from his head and cupping his face.

“i was worried you’d take forever with that thing,” he confesses with a laugh, hips thrusting up. “still got the energy to ride me?”

“i’m just getting started,” you roll your eyes, picking up a quick pace and bouncing on his cock. it happens fast — within a minute, he’s as close as he was before, weakly rutting his hips upwards while you shove them down with your own.

ino’s fingers wander to your clit and he rubs sloppy circles on the sensitive nub, whining deliciously at your body’s immediate response.

“‘s good, taku, keep going,” he thinks his name sounds best when it’s coming from your mouth.

despite how overwhelmed he is, ino’s fingers don’t falter, and with his free hand he gestures for you to lean on top of him like earlier. he tucks his face into your neck, tears pouring down his cheeks and wetting your skin.

white hot pleasure races through your body, bolting between your legs like lightning. “t-takuma, baby,” you huff out, gasping into his skin as you squeeze around him frantically, “‘m gonna cum— want you to with me, please—”

a needy moan tears from your lips and his skin absorbs it, your hips stuttering against his with a few last smacks of skin against skin. before you know it, you’re cumming hard, barely able to hear his words over the pounding of your heart in your ears.

ino’s whimpering, shaking beneath you and sobbing out, “wanna fill you up, c-can i?”

every one of your senses is hazy, and you manage to nod against him, pressing your lips to his ear. “y-yes, ‘course you can.”

with that, his cock spurts white inside you, hot and thick and deep — for a moment, you wonder how long it’ll take to drip out of you. you’ll be able to keep it inside till you get to the dealership, won’t you?

“you okay?” you ask, body shifting and tearing a choked whine from his throat. “takuma?”

he exhales sharply, taking a second to answer you as he recovers, chest heaving beneath you. “yeah, i’m okay. hey, let’s turn over?” you oblige, ass pressed against him and cock still buried deep.

“we’re supposed to get this car back to the dealership, we can’t just sit on the side of the road—”

“yes we can,” ino hushes you, trailing kisses along your jaw before moving to your neck. “let’s just wait for a while and cuddle. also, i’m kinda cold and you’re warm.”

“how could you possibly be cold after full on sex?”

“i have no idea, but it doesn’t matter, does it?”

“five minutes,” you say matter of factly, although you curl up against him comfortably. “then we have to go.”

“yeah, yeah,” ino huffs.

later, you’re charged a ton of money for bringing back the car a few hours late. ino blames it on you for falling asleep against him and you blame it on him for enticing you to fall asleep by cuddling.

[bohoteacher]

Navigating Betrayal: Reconciling Admiration with Disillusionment

Like many Neil Gaiman fans this month, I've been shocked and distressed by the news regarding the SA allegations. I won't go over the details, as they're readily available online. I'll start by saying that I believe the accusers, and even the most lenient interpretation of events is still troubling enough to discredit Gaiman. For a long time, I didn't know what to say. I was just shocked and, somewhat naively, felt betrayed. I don't typically idolize actors, authors, or other public figures—I'm here for the characters, they're who I love and believe in. So, how did I end up believing in this man and his rhetoric?

I only had a parasocial relationship with him, which is to say no real relationship at all. But I took his Masterclass on writing, spent hours taking notes, and learned from him. I feel betrayed by someone I saw as a beloved teacher. I know this is insignificant compared to what the women who came forward experienced, but it's a valid feeling, and I needed time to process it. My initial reaction was to throw out and discount everything he’s ever written or done—of course it was.

This isn't just about my love for Good Omens, although how can it not be? I learned so much from this man—about writing, about not being too hard on myself, about the creative process. I read his books to my middle school classes, and we all learned how to be better people from them. Today, I saw and bought Instructions, a children’s book by Neil Gaiman illustrated by Charles Vess, from the used bookstore where I volunteer. It was a used copy, so no royalties will go to him. It’s a beautifully illustrated book where the main character walks through a land that clearly symbolizes life, learning lessons like saying please and "if any creature cries to you that it hurts, if you can, ease its pain." How could someone write this and then do what he did? I asked myself. "What an evil hypocrite," was my first thought. But then I recalled a line from another author, Stephen King. In The Stand, a character is described as "awake at the lectern, but asleep at the switch," meaning they know the right thing to do and can talk about it, but in the moment of choice, they act without integrity.

I don’t know if I’m making sense, but I think it’s too easy to label Gaiman as simply evil, as if he intentionally manipulated us by saying the right things just to make us read or watch his creations. The reality is likely far more complicated. Within this man is the amazing, thought-provoking, life-affirming wisdom that many of us have tried to live by, but also the hard, thoughtless, selfish cruelty that led him to abuse young, vulnerable women. The wisdom does not justify the abuse, and the abuse does not nullify the wisdom.

I think it's too simplistic to say Gaiman is despicable and always has been, hiding it from us all along. This doesn't acknowledge the complexity of human nature—that there is potential for both good and bad within us all. As it’s said, possibly by Terry Pratchett or possibly by Neil Gaiman, “It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”

Gaiman is a man who has done some fundamentally good things and some fundamentally bad things. I can’t forget either one.

This is just my opinion. I know some people want to cancel him, while others want to exonerate him. You do you. As for me, I will continue to love Aziraphale and Crowley. I will continue to read and create fan-fiction. I will continue to find comfort and wisdom in books that have meant so much to me over the years. But I will also remember that they were created by a very flawed man whom I can no longer trust.

I understand that opinions on this matter vary widely. I know some people might feel that not discarding everything associated with him is wrong, but this is where I stand. I’m not looking to debate this or be told how I should react. I just needed to process my thoughts in writing and move forward in the way that feels right for me.

[heyhoeudoin]

do u have general kink hcs for aged up!karma akabane? :’> he’d be such a kinky bastard and i’m such a brat so i’m just over here like 👀

A FUN DISCOVERY

“Karma's Kinks...”

pairing: aged up!karma akabane x reader

words: 0.9k

genre/s: mature, MINORS DNI!

warning/s: swearing, kinks, sex, mentions of dick, no pronouns (unless i slipped)

synopsis: karma's kinks... plus you

masterlist

a/n: answering this before any of the other asks in my inbox right now is unfair (because i just got this the other day), but when i read karma akabane and kinks; something awoken in me. hope you're happy with this because i don't delve with anything sexual and this my first attempt (we ignore the deku's and shoto's headcanon; i wrote that sht when i was a dumbass).

karma akabane is one sadistic hot bastard and so i'm very sure that's a big part in his sexual desires. i also think this guy has a good amount of common kinks, but also has these specific wants during sex.

kinks i'm sure that he'd have:

bare backing (having anal or vaginal sex without a condom)

cum marking (letting a man's semen visibly dry on your skin or keeping a man's semen inside of you via plugs)

the feeling of him raw inside of you just makes it better for him. would he cum inside though? no because he'd rather see his cum sprayed all over you; on your face, on your stomach, on your back, on your ass... anywhere on you. just the image of it makes him all hard again.

begging kink (begging and pleading to have sex, for release/orgasm, to perform an act, etc.)

controlling orgasm (different from orgasm denial/delay because in this your partner gives you all the reasons to cum, but when you are close, they ask you to hold it which can get quite exciting if properly executed and done)

orgasm denial/delay aka edging (type of play where someone's orgasm is denied entirely, limited/ruined or delayed)

are you guys seeing my vision yet?

he loves it when you beg him to cum already. he loves to tease you and making you suffer relentlessly especially when it comes to you finally getting that sweet sweet release. when you tell him that you're about to finish, he suddenly stops all together and waits for a few seconds as you whine loudly to him.

karma loves hearing that whine come out of your mouth and that moan you make after he takes his entire dick out and pounds it back into your hole.

sadism (the kink for providing pain)

an obvious kink of his, but there's layers to it.

bitting (the act of bitting or nipping the skink whether it is to break skin or leave marks) or leaving marks in general

choking

degrader (like to degrade and humiliate their partner either by acting upon them in a degrading way or by forcing them to do things they consider degrading)

face slapping

rigger (likes to restrain their partners, either by physical item [cuffs, ropes, etc.] or instruction [known as mental bondage]. restraint can be full-body, or involve a single body part. bondage may include furnitures and devices)

spanking

he loves leaving marks on you, any kind of marking whether it'd be bites or a shit ton of hickeys. choking you while degrading you is one of his favorite things to do. also slapping your face, especially when you're giving him a blow job. your face turning red from the multiple slaps he'd given you. it makes it look like you're flustered. he also loves spanking your ass since every time he does, you'd make a moan.

but here's some next level sadism (in my opinion):

electric play (playing with electricity and tame shocks well above the lethal level)

wax play (playing with molten hot wax)

he definitely tried other types of plays, but these two are the ones he likes the most. he likes using electricity on your nipples because he loves to watch you bite your lip in pain and let out an airy moan once you get used to the pleasurable pain (he likes watching your nipples slowly perk up as well).

some times when he pounds you from behind, he'd hold a candle above your back and let the wax fall and land there. every time you fell a hot wax drip on your back, you'd arch your back further down and let out a cry of pain that then turns into pleasure.

loud moaning

being dominant

brat tamer

he likes being in control and touching you and making you scream which is why i think he wouldn't like voyeurism because he'd rather do you himself than watch.

public sex

here me out...

he loves to tease you right?

the biggest tease is him fucking you in public. works especially well if you work in the same building/company as him. the thrill of being in a public place where anyone could catch him pounding himself into you. you trying your best to scold him by saying "karma, we're in public!" but ultimately gets shut up by his mouth and/or dick.

that type of excitement; he just can't get enough of it.

and then a kink that i'm not sure he'd have, but it'd be pretty fitting if he did:

crying ("i love to see you cry")

i think that once you start crying either from begging or from something else, he'd fuck you like there's no tomorrow.

crying would be his ultimate turn on (and i'd be fucking terrified).

the first time you cried is when karma tried hot wax on you for the first time (only because you weren't a masochist yet) (yet because karma made you into a masochist).

he watched the wax melt off of the candle and drop onto your exposed back. you cried in pain as your reflexes took over and you flipped yourself onto your back. you stared at karma with tears threatening to fall out of your eyes.

"what the fuck was that?" you asked with a shaky breath as a tear rolled down your cheek.

karma blinked owlishly. then, in a quick second, he hooked his arms under your legs and slammed your back against the wall. his hands flat against the wall, pushing you against it as much as he can. he slammed his dick back inside you and pounded in devilish speed (you cried a bit more, which just fueled him a lot).

let's just say it lasted until the next morning.

masterlist

a/n: i'm very shocked with how this turned out. i actually quite like what i wrote here.