#one else it just felt weird for me ig. not to mention that like on the rare occassions that i didnt have anything to post i felt obliged to
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retros-artandstuff · 6 months ago
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vriska + a transmasc dave doodle
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#tryna get into colored pencils again we'll see how it goes#its been a while since ive done a good tag ramble#but like i dont hv anything to ramble about#my art#traditional art#doodles#fanart#homestuck#homestuck fanart#dave strider#dave strider fanart#vriska serket#vriska fanart#oh actually i do hv smth to ramble about today#that being scheduled posts#yknow scheduled posts are actually really convinient and helped me quite a bit#like i used them for a couple months and honestly really liked useing them cuz it allowed me to hv a pretty consistent posting schedule#but in the end i just didnt feel right with it mostly due to the fact that even with it set to post three times a week it felt weird to hav#some of my drawings posting weeks after i finished them. like they were old news to me already but they were barely being released to every#one else it just felt weird for me ig. not to mention that like on the rare occassions that i didnt have anything to post i felt obliged to#draw smth just so i would have smth to post and most of the time that led to me being unhappy with my art. so now ive just decided like fuc#it imma post whenever i want and honestly im really happy with that even if i might be going a little trigger happy with the posting button#recently lmao. ive just been drawing a whole lot and hv so much to post its insane. hell i still hv things in my gallery that i needa post#but ill save those for the next couple of days lol but yeah thanks for coming to my very long ted talk/ramble and goodnight 😴#damn im such a yapster what the hell
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juyeonszn · 1 year ago
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SACRIFICE (EAT ME UP)
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PAIRING lee hyunjae x f!reader
WORD COUNT 9.17k
GENRES horror ﹒ smut ﹒ angst ﹒ fluff ig?
WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, mentions of murder, descriptions of crime scenes, mentions of blood, mentions of knifes, graphic description of stab wounds, mentions of potential mental illness, THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT CONSTITUTE WARNINGS BUT ?!1?1 I DONT WANT TO SPOIL !1!2!2, Lots of Kissing, mutual masturbation (f! receiving fingering & m! receiving hand job), pillow talk ig, big dick hyunjae 😈, um unprotected sex lol be safe u silly geese, car sex, cowgirl position yeehaw, creampie, this entire fic is just a whole fucking roller coaster i stg it’s gonna haunt me forever
SUMMARY with a serial killer running rampant on campus, everyone around you seems to be dropping like flies. but, hey, at least you have hyunjae to protect you.
MORE omg.. my first written work for tbz 🙀 extra super fun fact; this was originally an idea i had for hyunjin from skz on my other blog that i actually started writing the week before halloween last year (the reason it’s a horror fic), but i never finished and sort of felt like there was no point in continuing it after a while— that is until i stumbled upon the draft a few weeks ago and decided to revamp, edit, and complete it 😋 i kept going back and rereading and then blanking when i wanted to add to it until last night when i said fuck it and drank two cups of coffee to power through the end 🙌 anyways.. here u all go, my baby that i never thought would see the light of day and my first time writing a genuine horror piece <3 also special shoutout to rina my soulmate @tsukidou for beta reading 🫶
PLAYLIST sacrifice (eat me up) — enhypen, awake — the boyz, roar — the boyz, fever — enhypen, fate — enhypen, taste — stray kids, wake up — ateez, white noise — pvris, heaven — pvris
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“Alright, that’s all for today’s lecture. If this was your last of the day, make sure to find someone to go home with and remember the curfew rules!” Your English professor says, concluding the class.
The students around you rush to pack up their things and get off of campus as soon as possible. You don’t seem to be in a hurry, though, taking your time to put away your notebook and laptop. Your roommates were still in their music production class, so you didn’t want to go home alone, deciding to wait until they were done.
“Y/N, don’t you wanna get home?” Professor Park asks, her voice echoing in the now empty lecture hall. She throws the strap of her bag over her shoulder and pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
“I do, but I have to wait for my roommates. They’re in a class right now and I’d rather not go by myself.” You let out an awkward laugh. She nods at your reasoning, giving you a small smile for comfort.
“Okay, you be careful! I’ll see you on Thursday.”
You raise your hand in a silent salutation, watching as she exits the room, leaving you completely alone. Though a public space, in a public building, the fact that there’s no one else nearby leaves you utterly unsettled. Your stomach churns with a twinge of fear and you start to feel a bit claustrophobic despite being in such a spacious area, so you choose this point to hurriedly collect your belongings and get the hell out of there.
The past couple of months have been in this weird state of limbo. You don’t recall exactly when the killings started, but once the police noticed a pattern, everyone knew sooner or later that the presence of a serial murderer would be announced on the local news. Your town enforced a citywide curfew to protect its citizens, but mostly the students at your university.
Every single one of the killer’s victims were university students. You were friends with a bunch of guys and while it was nice having big strong men surrounding you, you knew that could hardly do anything to quell the lingering anxiety you’ve felt ever since the spree began.
The police seemed to be having trouble coming up with any possible suspects, or even gaining any leads, thanks to the killer’s unusual victimology and the cool down time between murders always varying. If the people in charge of protecting you couldn’t do that, how were you supposed to feel safe?
In an attempt to get to the building where Jacob, Kevin, and Eric were as fast as you could, you speed walk out of the lecture hall, accidentally bumping into someone. You bow at a nearly ninety-degree angle and hurl out apology after apology following the collision, not trying to make any enemies in this day and time.
“Watch where you’re going, idiot.” The stranger spits, waiting for you to glance up at him to give you a nasty glare. He looks like the kind of guy who thought he was all that, despite peaking in high school. You feel your bottom lip quiver and you avoid eye contact.
“I—”
“Woah, dude, chill the fuck out. It was an accident, I’m sure she didn’t— wait, N/N, is that you? Hey it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”
There’s a familiar voice in your ears and a hand under your chin, forcing you to stand upright. Whoever you bumped into walks away with a scoff. You meet eyes with Lee Hyunjae, one of your dearest friends. He recognizes that hint of panic in your features and he frowns.
“I’m so sorry, Jae, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going—” Your breath is caught in your throat and you fumble over your words.
“Hey, hey, slow down,” he keeps a hold on your biceps. “It’s alright, I promise. He’s gone. What’s wrong?”
You shut your eyes tightly, feeling pathetic for causing such a scene for no apparent reason. Hyunjae guides you through your breathing, his focus trained on you the whole time. He always made you feel so comfortable.
“With everything that’s been going on, I’m just so paranoid and afraid of being alone. I wanted to go to the music department building and wait for the boys.” You finally explain once you’ve calmed down and the rise of your chest is even.
“How about this? I’ll take you home so you don’t have to stay on campus any longer.” He suggests, bringing up a hand to tuck some hair behind your ear. You nod slowly, gathering your bearings.
Hyunjae leads you to his car that’s parked in the lot closest to the building you were just in and the two of you make your way to your apartment. You’d been friends with your roommates for years now, meeting in eighth grade. You had just moved schools and happened to be put into a class with Eric Sohn, the most rambunctious boy you’d ever met. He thought you seemed really sweet upon first impression and decided to befriend you, introducing you to all of his friends in turn.
Aside from Eric, there was Sangyeon, Jacob, Younghoon, Hyunjae, Juyeon, Kevin, Changmin, Chanhee, Haknyeon, and Sunwoo. While it was a little overwhelming, it was nice going from zero friends to eleven in the span of just a couple days. You were pretty close to all of them, but you and Hyunjae initially hit it off the best. You understood each other on a different level than everyone else and to this day, you still don't know the exact reason why.
Towards the end of high school, your friendship with Hyunjae transformed into something that wasn’t purely platonic. You weren’t entirely sure when it started to change, but your feelings for him grew exponentially. You tried to keep them to yourself, hidden from the world to preserve your fragile teenage heart. Though you’d already been friends with them a few years at that point, you still had that inkling of dread in the pit of your stomach that one day they’d choose to stop talking to you. You especially didn’t want a silly crush to be the cause of that.
After a while, however, the lines began to blur together anyway and everyone could tell you felt for him romantically. Once, Eric had made a comment about it being so painfully obvious that Hyunjae was just as into you and it nearly shook your whole world.
When college time rolled around, you all knew you’d be attending the same university, so picking roommates was a bit of a tricky situation. You chose yours solely based on the fact that you were majoring in similar things, so it’d be easy to fit schedules together. (You also couldn’t handle being roommates with Hyunjae; it’d be too much for your heart.) Hyunjae lived with Juyeon, Changmin, and Sunwoo, while Sangyeon, Younghoon, Chanhee, and Haknyeon lived together.
Hyunjae parks in a spot near the stairs that lead to your unit. The car is still running when you unbuckle your seatbelt and you stare at the steps blankly. Though the close proximity with him has your pulse racing, you want nothing more than some company until your roommates get home. You turn to him shyly, balling up a fistful of your sweater.
“Jae, do you— do you think you could stay with me for a bit before the boys come back? I don’t— I really don’t wanna be alone right now.”
The look he gives you is full of adoration, like you personally put the stars in the sky. He smiles softly and nods, reaching across the center console to place a comforting hand on top of yours. The two of you keep them intertwined as you go inside your apartment, locking all the locks carefully before sitting on your couch.
You don’t make a comment about him not letting go despite already being in the safety of your home. You don’t say anything about him pulling you into his side either, mostly because you want him to.
With all that’s been happening recently, you’ve felt so hollow. There was this indescribable emptiness expanding in you and even though you so desperately wanted to chalk it up to something else, you knew it was due to the fact that there was growing anxiety that you could be next, that any of your friends could be next. You were starting to move like you were in a simulation, doing everything in your daily routine without a single emotion. Sure, you’d laugh when Eric made a stupid joke but that’s about the most anyone could get from you aside from the occasional panic attack.
Hyunjae being here and holding you is exactly what you needed to feel some semblance of warmth again.
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There’s a soft knock on your bedroom door around eight that same night, waking you from your slumber. You don’t remember falling asleep or being moved to your bed, so you’re not too sure when Hyunjae left. You rub the sleep from your eyes as you get up to open your door.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to wake you, but we got some takeout if you’re hungry.” Jacob says with an apologetic smile, leaning on the door frame.
You give him a bleary look as you nod, following him into the dining room where your other two roommates were sitting at the table. Eric greets you through a full mouth. A small laugh escapes you when you sit across from him, Kevin adjacent to your seat. The sound of the TV in the living room plays as background noise as the four of you eat.
“So when’d you get home? I thought you were gonna wait for us.” Kevin asks.
“I was, but then I ran into Hyunjae when I was on my way to your building and he offered to bring me home,” you shrug, taking some tteokbokki with your chopsticks. “It was a whole thing, please don’t ask.”
Eric hums to himself, a mischievous grin on his face as he takes a sip of his cola. “Interesting. And you say he’s not into you…”
Heat blooms over your cheeks and you accidentally drop your chopsticks on your plate, their clacking against the ceramic garnering your roommates’ attention. Eric Sohn was now number one on your hit list. Kevin elbows him in the side and tells him to be quiet, despite the tiny upwards curve of his lips.
“If he cares about you as much as he seems like he does, he wouldn’t have left you here alone after you fell asleep,” Jacob mutters, looking at you from his peripherals. “What was the point of escorting you home if—”
“Jacob shut the fuck up,” Eric suddenly blurts, the three of you stare at him as he clambers over to the living room, turning up the volume on the TV. “Look!”
You turn in your chair, your stomach churning at the news report unfolding before you.
“We’re live just outside SNU, where another victim has been found. The body hasn’t been identified yet, but from what we do know, he was a student that attended the school,” the female reporter says into the microphone she’s holding, a glazed over expression in her eyes. “Crime Scene Investigators believe he was murdered at around six this evening, and was assumed to have been making his way home from campus. Updates are expected to come later tonight once we have more information.”
You know that far away, checked out gaze she had all too well. She’s reported on the killings for a while now, no doubt numb to the way things were at this point.
Your appetite spoils immediately and you excuse yourself from the table, making your way back to your room. You sit on your bed and bring your knees to your chest, taking a deep breath in, then covering your mouth when you breathe out to muffle the sob that follows. It was becoming too overwhelming for you and there was nothing you could do about it besides sit back and watch.
It was understandable for anyone in your situation to feel hopeless, how could they not? With someone terrorizing the city in an unpredictable manner, there was no sense of normalcy in anyone’s life. You shudder when you finally bring yourself to stop crying, digging your nails into the fat of your calves.
Through the walls, you can hear the boys talking, voices solemn.
“Why’d you have to put the TV louder, dumbass?”
“Sorry, I just like being up to date on the case, you know? I want to be prepared. What if I need to learn clone jutsu to take out the guy?”
“Eric, you’re such a clown, oh my god.”
“I get that you’re interested and all, but you have to be mindful of Y/N. You know how much this has affected her both emotionally and physically, she doesn’t need the constant reminder that it’s happening. And I’d appreciate if you apologized for telling me to ‘shut the fuck up’.”
There’s a snort in between.
“My bad, I didn’t mean to be rude about it. But while we’re on the topic, I think we both need to admit our mistakes. What you said about Hyunjae to her wasn’t cool either. I know we’re all friends, but it just came across too—”
“It was really snappy, Jacob. And a bit petty.”
“Yeah! What Kevin said.”
“I— you’re right. I just don’t want her getting hurt, in more ways than one.”
You don’t hear much else from the trio and sigh heavily, dragging your hands down your face and wiping your eyes with the heels of your palms. You grab your phone from your nightstand and hesitantly search for Hyunjae’s contact, the line ringing a couple times before he answers.
“Y/N? Is everything okay? Did something happen?”
“N-no, I’m fine. I was just— I wanted to check on you and make sure you were okay,” you mess with your bottom lip. “I heard there was another victim and I didn’t know when you left the apartment, so I just— uh— I just needed to know that you were safe. I called to see if you’d answer.”
You squeeze your eyes shut out of embarrassment, even if he can’t exactly see you. The stuttering was enough to make you go into hiding for the rest of your life if this serial killer didn’t.
“Oh,” you can hear the slight chuckle in his response from the way his breath hits the speaker. “It means a lot that you’d do that, N/N. Really, I appreciate you so much.”
Your lip finds itself between your teeth and your heart is pounding unbearably fast, you think you might be having a heart attack. You bring a hand up to clutch at your chest as a fuzzy feeling courses through your whole being.
Now you were scared for an entirely different reason.
(The main one occupies your mind again later that night when you scroll through your Twitter feed, only to find out the most recent victim was the guy you accidentally bumped into. You feel like some sick version of a guardian angel was looking after you. It makes it hard to fall asleep after that.)
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A couple days passed and you found yourself thinking about Lee Hyunjae more than usual.
Not to say that you didn’t already think about him at least once a day, but now it was worse. When you woke up, you wondered if he was still asleep. While you drank your morning coffee, you wondered if it’d taste sweeter had he made it for you. When you had lunch, you wondered if he’d like the spam musubi you made yourself. When you attended your other classes, you wondered which courses he was struggling with this semester.
As you were walking out of your English class, you recalled running into him. Had he not been there, you might’ve driven yourself insane trying to rush over to the music building while diffusing the issue with that stranger.
When you first began to harbor feelings for him, you assumed it would become nothing more than a silly schoolgirl crush. He was attractive and kind to you, but that was just the bare minimum— you thought you’d grow out of it. However, as time went on, what you thought was just puppy love had blossomed into something stronger. It was a force to be reckoned with.
Of course, all of that had been tossed on the back burner with everything that’s going on. Recently you’ve been too afraid for your own safety and well-being to over analyze your interactions with Hyunjae, but now you’re back to square one.
All because he’d done something nice for you.
God, the bar was so low. Was it really too much to ask for someone who was decent? Someone who wasn’t a serial killer?
You were on your way to the music building to wait for Jacob, Kevin, and Eric once again, when you see Hyunjae coming down the hall. He’s on his phone, not paying any mind to his surroundings. You’re about to call out to him when someone stops you, tugging on the sleeve of your sweater gently.
“Hey, Y/N right?” The tall boy asks, a charming smile on his face.
“Uh— yeah,” you nod, tucking some hair behind your ear. “Y-you are?”
“Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I must seem like a total weirdo,” he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’m Mingyu! We have English together.”
“Oh, you’re Mingyu? Professor Park told me about you before class today,” you give him a small comforting smile. “I don’t mind helping you!”
“Ah, that’s great to hear. I was a bit worried you’d be more annoyed about having to tutor someone so late in the semester.” Though he’s much taller than you and approached you first, Mingyu comes across as a little shy in nature. It puts you at ease in a way.
“No, not at all! English isn’t always the easiest, I get that. I wanna help as much as I can before finals. Look,” you pause, pulling your backpack off one shoulder to rip out a sheet of paper. “I’ll give you my number so we can arrange meet up dates! I’d prefer if we met at the library if that’s okay with you?”
Mingyu grins and sports a thumbs up in agreement. “That sounds perfect. Thank you so much, Y/N!”
You scribble your phone number onto the paper and hand it to him before parting ways. With the off guard conversation, you nearly forgot about Hyunjae, who was nowhere to be seen now. You feel your lips droop into a frown, since you were hoping you could talk with him for a second.
As you’re walking across the quad to the music building, a wind chill blows past you, making you wrap your arms around yourself. It was mid November and for some stupid reason, you were only wearing a small cardigan.
When you squint up at the sky, you also realize it’s more overcast than anything. There’s an angry grey cloud right above you and you curse yourself for not having an umbrella or a raincoat. You should've been more prepared, especially because of the inconsistent weather this time of year.
Suddenly, the sky is blocked from your view and you furrow your brows, spinning around. Hyunjae stares back at you with a smile ten times warmer than the frigid air surrounding you and a thicker jacket in one hand. The other holds up an umbrella just as tiny droplets begin to fall from above.
His timing couldn’t have been better.
“Heading to the music building?” He asks, skillfully placing the coat on your shoulders.
“Mhm… was gonna wait for the boys.” You respond, a little awestruck by how gorgeous he was. Especially up close. Your eyes fixate on the freckle on his nose rather than his own. He hums, keeping an arm around your shoulders as he leads you in a different direction.
“I can take you home again,” he glances down at you. “I don’t mind one bit.”
“O-okay!”
During the car ride to your apartment, you send a quick text to your roommates about not waiting up. You were happy that your relationship with Hyunjae was evolving. The past couple semesters had been rough, and you hadn’t seen him or any of the other guys nearly as much as Jacob, Kevin, and Eric. (And that was only because you lived with them.)
You toss your keys on to the mini table beside the front door, taking off your shoes with a small groan. The boots were cute, but not very comfortable. Hyunjae follows suit, his sock clad feet shuffling against the floor to sit on the couch.
After switching on the TV, you find a random Hallmark Christmas movie to play in the background, knowing full well that his presence beside you was too distracting. The brunette turns to face you, placing a hand on your thigh gently to get your attention.
“So, who was the dude you were talking to earlier?”
You blink at his question. So he saw you after all. Was he perhaps jealous? The idea shouldn’t make you giddy, but it does. “My professor asked me to tutor him ‘cause he’s struggling with English. Why?”
“Just curious. He seemed a little touchy.” Hyunjae plays with the hem of your sweater.
“O-oh. It’s fine, he wasn’t a random perv, if that’s what you were wondering.”
He scoots a little closer to you, tucking some hair behind your ear. You feel your face flush impossibly hotter. Your heart is racing and your breath is caught in your throat. His body heat radiates off of him with the new proximity.
“Good. It drives me crazy seeing other guys put their hands on you.” He admits bluntly, his hand resting at the junction where your neck meets your shoulder.
You know you look insane, your chest heaving up and down and your eyes widened a little. Like a baby deer caught by a predator. Who knew sweet sweet Hyunjae had a rather risqué side to him? You swallow thickly, not daring to move an inch. His thumb caresses your skin gently, goosebumps littering in its wake.
“Hyunjae…” You breathe, lips parting as you finally make eye contact with him.
“You’re so pretty, Y/N.”
You want to scream into the cushion behind you, your hands clamming up. Hyunjae looks like he could swallow you whole if he wanted to, his bottom lip between his teeth as he leans in a bit more. This moment was something straight out of one of your darkest fantasies. You never thought this would ever happen, that either of you would ever actually make a move on the other.
The sound of the front door unlocking catches both of your attention. Hyunjae pulls away from you faster than your brain can comprehend what exactly just occurred. Jacob is the first to walk in, laughing at something Eric said. The three males pause when they see you’re not alone.
The greetings are quick, Hyunjae dapping up the boys as if nothing. He’s also quick to say goodbye, ensuring them that he’ll make sure you’re safe when they’re not around. He gives you that smile of his, the one where his eyes form crescents, and then he’s gone.
You don’t know how much more of this you could take.
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“So, Y/N…” Eric starts in the middle of dinner, side eyeing you as he shovels rice into his mouth. “You and Hyunjae have been together an awful lot lately.”
Kevin snorts, kicking the blonde under the table. You suppose it was going to come up eventually. This ‘Will They, Won’t They’ back and forth shit was starting to tire you out. You weren’t getting any younger. Time was passing you up the longer you waited to just say something. And with all that’s been going on, it was silly to be afraid of admitting your feelings.
“He’s being a good friend, Eric,” Jacob sighs, reaching across to flick him on the forehead. “It’s actually really nice that he watches over Y/N when we’re gone.”
Eric grimaces, rubbing the spot that Jacob assaulted. You frown a bit when you realize that he had a point. Hyunjae was treating you like a child that had to be tended to, babysitting you like you weren’t capable of holding your own. Granted, both times he’s come over, you asked him to. So you couldn’t really blame him for assuming you wanted him around to protect you.
“Do y’all think Hyunjae actually likes me? In a non-platonic way?”
Kevin’s spoon clatters onto the floor and they all pause their banter to look at you. Every time your feelings for Hyunjae were brought up, you chose to ignore them and switch the subject. You can’t keep running away.
“Uh— yeah. Duh. Of course he does. I don’t know anyone else who would go out of their way to stay with someone they saw as just a friend multiple times a week so she felt safe.” Kevin finally answers after a moment.
“Okay.” You settle on, taking a sip of your water.
“What do you mean ‘okay’?” He raises an eyebrow at you, but you just shrug.
“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
As you’re washing the dishes after dinner, you hear the news broadcast over the faucet. Another victim had just been found behind the campus library. The camera shows the scene behind the reporter, something that would’ve made you queasy a couple days ago, but now you feel nothing— just a dull ache in your chest. It’s messy, almost like the killer was in a hurry to get it over with.
The body is covered with a black tarp, paramedics wheeling it away in the corner of the screen. The reporter still wears that dissociated expression on her face as she goes over the details of this victim. She explains that because the murder was done so haphazardly, they were able to identify the body easily.
Twenty three year old Kim Mingyu, Sports Med Major.
The rest of the news report sounds like static in your ears as you scrub away at the dishes mindlessly. Your fingers have pruned and the water was burning the backs of your hands, but you don’t feel it, too checked out to care. It seemed like the killings were getting closer and closer to you. Part of you thought you’d be next every single time.
You had to tell Hyunjae how you felt. It was now or never.
Fifteen minutes later, he’s waiting outside of your apartment complex, leaning against his car. You take careful steps down the stairs, nearly fainting at the sight of him in a hoodie and grey sweatpants. He runs around the car to open the passenger door for you, only shutting it when you’re all buckled up. It’s not long after that he revs the engine and drives off to nowhere in particular, just like you requested. (Curfew ignored.)
It’s silent at first, save for the low hum of his music, R&B that resonates somewhere within your soul. You can’t help but steal a glance from your peripheral, fisting your sweatshirt when you see how concentrated he looks while driving. He has his right hand resting on the gear shift, the other gripping the wheel. You could’ve had this view all to yourself so long ago had you just spoken up.
“Hyunjae,” your voice is wobbly, but you steel yourself to continue. “I have something to tell you.”
“What is it?” He asks, keeping his eyes on the road.
“Do you think— uh— do you think you could pull over?” If you were going to confess, you wanted him to look at you. Besides, the drive was starting to make you jittery.
He nods and goes a bit further, before pulling into an empty lot. He shifts into park, unbuckling his seatbelt so he could turn his body towards you, giving you his undivided attention. You mirror him, tightening your hold on your sweater when he wets his lips, smiling at you. “Is this what you called me for?”
“Yeah, actually,” you force yourself to keep eye contact, pushing the lump back down your throat. “I’ve wanted to tell you this for years now, if I’m being honest with both of us.”
He chuckles, much like he did the other night over the phone. It drives you just a little crazy. “I’m listening.”
“I— I don’t know how to word this properly…” You wipe your palms on your legs. Come on, Y/N, spit it out already. “Fuck, okay, I like you Hyunjae. Like, really like you. In the way that I sometimes wish you would kiss me until I can’t breathe. I’ve been so afraid of admitting that to myself, but I’ve realized that life is way too short to dwell over the fear of rejection. But please, tell me you feel the same.”
He stares at you with an indecipherable look in his eyes. You feel like throwing up now, you stomach twisting and churning at the thought that you just ruined everything between you. There was no going back after this. He knew.
It’s as if months have passed by in utter silence with Hyunjae just sitting there, no words coming out of his mouth, until finally, he just leans across the center console, cupping your cheek with one of his hands. His vision is trained on your lips, his face close enough that his lashes flutter against your skin. God, he was even more gorgeous from this distance.
Instead of saying anything, he presses his lips to yours, a sweet but desperate kiss that melts away all the worries tucked into your head. They feel so soft on your own, molding together in near perfect timing. It’s like you’d been living for a year without rain and this kiss was the shower that saved you from a drought. It’s all you’ve ever wanted and needed and more.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he breathes when he pulls away slightly. “The real thing is so much better than I imagined it would be.”
For once, time slows down in this moment, almost like the world stopped spinning on its axis. Everything slips from your mind and it’s just you and Hyunjae, here in his car in the middle of an empty parking lot. Nothing else matters. You smile at his confession, a genuine smile that was spurred on by contentment rather than force. You felt light and airy, no longer weighed down by such a trivial problem.
“I think I have an idea,” you giggle, reaching up to brush a stray hair from his face. “I’m not too sure, though, I could be wrong. Could you do that again to help jog my memory?”
Hyunjae laughs, (it’s the most melodic sound you’ve ever heard) but doesn’t hesitate to kiss you. You reciprocate his passion, tangling your fingers in his dark hair. He sighs into the kiss, pulling you on top of him. Your legs straddle his lap as best as they can and he reaches down to recline his seat, scooting it as far as it can go from the wheel. The thin material of your fleece shorts hardly hide the feeling of him under you, a low moan pushing into his mouth.
He nips at your bottom lip, tugging at it with his teeth gently before peppering kisses along your jaw and neck, sucking along the exposed skin from your sweatshirt. You whine, throwing your head back as his tongue soothes over the bruising area. His hands slide under your top, rubbing up and down your sides before moving them down to your thighs, repeating the action.
“You’re so gorgeous on top of me like this, Y/N.” Hyunjae says, just above a whisper like someone else might hear this intimate conversation. He grips your hips and bucks upwards to grind into your clothed core. Your eyes widen and you involuntarily moan at the sensation. This wasn’t what you were expecting when you planned to confess, but you didn’t hate the outcome. He grins at your response, reconnecting your mouths sloppily.
If you were given the choice, you were wholeheartedly satisfied with just this. You would’ve been plenty okay with just making out. Had you been asked years ago that you’d even get this far, you would’ve snorted in your own face, so why should you be greedy and want more than what you had? (That’s not to say that you didn’t.)
“H-Hyunjae,” you stutter, your brain foggy from all of the kissing you just did. “Do you…?”
You trail off, not sure how to word your question. You didn’t want to come off like a sex crazed maniac, but you didn’t want to come off like an amateur virgin either. Truth of the matter is, you were neither, but it had been a while since you indulged yourself in something of this sort. And this time it would be with Hyunjae, the one person you never thought you’d do this with. You were nervous.
All you wanted was to be entwined with him in more ways than one. You wanted all of him— the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the sick, the healthy. He could do no wrong on your eyes and you wanted to show him that.
“Do I…?” Hyunjae trails off, waiting for you to continue.
“Do you want to make love… with me?” This had to be the single most mortifying moment of your life. You cover your face in humiliation, shying away from him when he sits up on his elbows.
“What kind of question is that?” He asks with a chuckle, prying your hands from your face so he could look you in the eyes. “If I could make love to you every hour of the day, for seven days a week, I would. I want you all the time, Y/N. Earlier today, before we got interrupted, I wanted to do unimaginable things to you.”
You hide yourself in the crook of his neck, your skin flushing hotter. Weren't you wearing too many layers? The car was starting to feel stuffy. Hyunjae’s chest rumbles with laughter beneath you, pressing his lips to the shell of your ear. This is probably the gentlest he’d be with you all night, because from what you could infer, he was a manhandler.
“Take care of me,” you breathe, mouth brushing against his pulse point. “Please.”
Hyunjae stops holding himself back. He’d do whatever you asked of him, only hoping you’d be tied to him in every lifetime, just like this one. He kisses you again with an unrivaled fervor, slipping his hands inside your sweatshirt and touching you everywhere physically possible. They’re warm on your skin, palming your breasts over the flimsy fabric of your bralette.
He helps you get rid of your top and shorts, leaving you in just undergarments. The sight of you barely clothed sends him into a frenzy, especially knowing it’s for his eyes only. You aid Hyunjae in pulling off his hoodie and yanking his sweatpants down his long legs. The minute most of your restrictions are gone, Hyunjae brings you closer to him. He hisses at the contact, the warmth of your cunt through your panties putting him under a spell.
You whimper when his touch travels down your front, sneaking into the waistband of your underwear. The pads of his middle and ring fingers apply the lightest amount of pressure onto your clit the second he finds it, circling the sensitive bundle of nerves. Your nails on one hand dig into his shoulder while the other trails down his abdomen, rubbing up and down his length through his boxer briefs.
Hyunjae groans into your kiss and you gasp for air as you tear from him, resting your forehead on his to watch as you get each other off through your clothes. If earlier was something taken from one of your wet dreams, what did this constitute as? You clench around nothing when he pushes up into you, your wrists clashing. Knowing he was just as down bad for you as you were for him just made this all that much more real.
“I need to feel you around me,” he mumbles in your ear, dipping his fingers in and out of you languidly as if to explain what he meant. “Let me stretch you out.”
You nod in response, fumbling with his briefs. Hyunjae lifts his hips enough for you to help him out of them. You groan when he reveals his impressive size, wondering how exactly he expected you to take him. He pushes your panties to the side, mimicking the sound you just made when he sees your bare pussy drooling for him. You eventually get frustrated and line him up with your hole, sinking down in one fluid motion. A voluminous moan escapes from the back of your throat, his dick throbbing achingly inside of you. At first you stay still like that, your pelvises touching as you adjust to his length and girth.
“H-holy shit— you’re s-so deep, Jae,” you cry, resting your forehead against his yet again. He pecks your lips, holding onto your hips to help you bounce on his cock, practically impaling you every single time.
“Fuck, you’re taking me so well. Such a good fucking girl,” Hyunjae grunts, the warmth of your walls drawing him in even further. “So tight, too.”
Your thighs begin to burn and your movements become slower, which he takes note of instantaneously. He bends his knees and forces your upper half impossibly closer to him, thrusting up into you. This new angle allows him to find that one spongy spot that has you seeing stars, fogging up your brain and even your vision.
You cast a downward glance at the minimal space between where the two of you are connected. Your moans and whines grow louder with the view of every thrust of his hips into yours. Hyunjae sneaks his hand in the middle of you, his fingers expertly toying with your clit. Any more stimulation and the band in your stomach is snapping.
You’ve had sex before. You’ve slept with a handful of other guys in the past, but nothing could ever compare to this moment. Your cunt had already memorized his size and every vein, effectively ruining the chances of any other man doing this with you. Lee Hyunjae had you in a chokehold whether he realized it or not. He had you wrapped around his finger without really trying, but you could never complain.
Your walls squeeze his cock and he knows he won’t last much longer, shutting his eyes tightly. “C’mon baby, you gonna cum for me?”
“Mhm,” you whimper, your skin flush on his own. “Wanna cum so bad for you, Hyunjae.”
“Yeah? Me too, sweetheart,” he pants, the thumb on your hip pressing against the bone. “Where do you want me?”
“Inside,” you babble. “Please, please. I want you to cum inside me, Hyunjae.”
He kisses you softly just then, swallowing your pretty moans with something completely opposite of what he’s already given you, and that’s what sends you spiraling, fluttering around him. He groans, spilling into you and letting you milk him dry of everything he has to offer, painting your insides just like you asked him to.
You lay like that for a while, Hyunjae’s dick still buried in you to the hilt. Both of you attempt to catch your breaths and bring yourselves down from the well-anticipated euphoric state you just visited. You giggle at the condensation coating the windows of his car, extending your arm to draw a heart and a smiley face with your finger. He slowly pulls himself out, hissing at the sensitivity, but doesn’t make a move to get you off of his chest.
Where do you go from here? A line had just been crossed and you weren’t entirely sure you knew what he wanted from you. It’s one thing to imagine kissing and fucking someone extensively. But it was another to actually want a tangible, romantic relationship from them, to actually capacitate feelings for them.
“I love you,”
You jolt up and stare at him with widened eyes. Did those words really just come out of his mouth? As if he can read your mind, he nods. There’s a dragged out sigh, followed by him sitting up slightly with you perched on his lap.
“I really do, Y/N. I’ve felt this way for years and I’m willing to do anything for you.” He admits, tucking some of your hair behind your ear. You kiss him gently, the pad of your thumb swiping across his cheekbone.
“I love you, too.”
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The Saturday after your night in Hyunjae’s car brought everything into perspective for you.
You hadn’t spoken to him since he dropped you off at your apartment and it was beginning to worry you. Even though you made sure he reciprocated your emotions, there still could’ve been a misunderstanding. Had you been too forward? Did you scare him away? Did something happen to him? Whatever the explanation was, you didn’t like the eerie feeling it started brewing in your stomach— it was foreboding.
In spite of not talking to them at all in what seemed to be a month or so, you tried calling each of your mutual friends to see if you could get some answers. Not even his roommates picked up their phones and this made you much more uneasy. You pace back and forth in your living room, nicking at your bottom lip with your nails. Why did he choose now of all times to ghost you? What went wrong?
Kevin comes out of his bedroom a couple minutes later, expecting to grab his morning coffee as usual. When he finds you nearly on the brink of insanity instead, he decides to intervene. He supposed his caffeine could wait until his best friend was calmed down. You jump in surprise, holding a fist to your chest. He raises his hands in mock surrender.
“Didn’t mean to startle you, my bad. What’s up? Why do you look like you’re going through a quarter life crisis?” Kevin asks you, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Is everything okay?”
“I—“ you pause and take a deep breath. “I don’t know…”
His eyebrows furrow and he guides you to the sofa so you could sit down. “What do you mean ‘you don’t know’?”
“Hyunjae hasn’t talked to me since Thursday night, after he brought me back here,” your voice is hoarser than you’d like it to be. “I-I texted and called him a bunch but he hasn’t replied. I even— I even tried Juyo, Sunwoo, and Changmin. No luck with them either. I’m concerned, Kev.”
Kevin combs through his hair, pursing his lips in thought. “Yeah, okay, I would be too. It's a little weird that none of them are responding. Have you thought of just showing up at his place to check in on him?”
You shake your head. “No, I didn’t want him to think I’m clingy and annoying in case he was there. What if he just wants to get me off of his back and he’s telling them to ignore me?”
“I don’t think that’s the case at all, Y/N,” your friend sighs, putting his glasses on top of his head and running a hand down his face. “Hyunjae has never been that kind of person in all the years we’ve known him. I highly doubt he’d switch up now. Plus, he’s literally crazy about you. I’m pretty sure the guy would move heaven and earth for you if he could. I think there’s a very real and genuine possibility that something is seriously wrong. It’s like— it’s just a gut feeling, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.” If Kevin felt this way, too, that would only mean one thing, right? You had to get to the bottom of this. There was a chance that lives depended on it. A quick roll of your neck and you’re standing. “I’m gonna go over there. I can’t leave things unanswered. I can’t wait for a fucking news report.”
The ravenette pats the top of your head. “Be careful, N/N. Please.”
You give him a nod before you’re slipping into your shoes and grabbing his car keys. You’re not exactly dressed for a confrontation if there is one— clad in a pair of sweatpants, an oversized sweatshirt with your university’s crest on it, and socks with sandals— but you were too preoccupied to care.
The drive itself was mentally taxing, your brain dissociating most of the ride. You’re not sure how many of the lights you passed were actually green. The closer you got to Hyunjae’s apartment, the more that trepidation settling in your lower abdomen grew. Throughout your life, you’d never been the type of person who acted on instinct or had a nagging voice in the rear of your head warning you about situations you got into. You usually went with the flow and if you made a mistake, you allowed yourself to learn from it.
However, that was prior to being thrown into a period of uncertainty like this one. Now, all you could do was act on instinct. All you could do was listen to the stupid nagging voice in the rear of your head yelling at you. All you could do was follow the blaring alarms and caution signs in your field of vision. And this time they were almost deafening.
Kevin’s car rolls to a stop outside of Hyunjae’s building, occupying an empty spot three away from the front of the stairs. Your pulse races when you step out of the vehicle and immediately recognize the cars in the spaces beside yours. Hyunjae’s, Juyeon’s, and Changmin’s. You notice a thin layer of dirt caking Juyeon and Changmin’s, as if they’d remained unmoved for a long time. Perturbed wasn’t a big enough word to describe what was going through your mind.
Half of you was terrified to take a step towards the stairs, let alone ascend them to Hyunjae’s floor. What would go down when you reached his apartment? What would happen the moment that door opened?
You ball your hands into fists, the edges of your nails jabbing the skin of your palms. The pain steels you enough to move forward, walking up the stairs slowly. There’s a chill tiptoeing along your spine the whole trip up, like your body knew what you were getting yourself into before you did. Maybe you were stupid. Only an idiot would lead themselves blindly into a scenario without knowing the outcome.
It’s been minutes of you staring at the slightly rusted numbers on Hyunjae’s door before you register that you’re standing in front of it. If you're being honest, you have no idea what you’re doing. You were acting on autopilot— progressing without a thought of what’s coming next. A shuddered breath leaves your lips and you raise your knuckles to the door.
The first knock is too soft to hear if the inhabitants were in their bedrooms, so you apply more force the second time. The sound reverberates through the hall, a wince appearing on your features. If someone was inside, surely they had to have heard that one. You wait a little longer for the door to swing open and reveal one of your friends looking perfectly fine. For Juyeon to showcase that grin of his that reaches his eyes and ask what you were doing here. For Changmin to give you that sweet smile that puffed up his cheeks and ask what you needed. For Sunwoo to blow a raspberry before he laughed at how silly you were for stressing over them. For Hyunjae to reassure you that it was all going to be okay, that he loved you. You were praying for that.
But no one showed up on the other end of that doorway and you were stuck glaring at that same painted board of wood.
That’s what sends your instincts into overdrive. Your hand grabs the knob, twisting it just in case. It makes a full rotation, pushing open the door the tiniest bit. You peek inside carefully and find all the lights in the living room and kitchen off. Your teeth bite down on your lip as you enter the apartment. One of the things you hated about it, was the annoying buzz of the fluorescent lights in their bathroom. And for some reason, that was all that infiltrated your ears.
The door for said bathroom was cracked just a tad at the end of the hallway, but what caught your attention was the room closest to you— also cracked the most miniscule amount. You see light filtering through, an almost orange glow like that of a desk lamp. Your stupidity would be your downfall, you conclude, your feet gravitating to the room. It’s Hyunjae’s you recall when you’re outside of it. They always say curiosity killed the cat, and you couldn’t help but revert to a feline and nudge it open with your foot.
You really wished that saying was just that— a saying.
Eric sits ahead of you, tied to a chair in the middle of the room. There’s a piece of fabric gagging his mouth and his clothes are tattered, blood staining nearly every inch. A long gash runs along his left bicep and a myriad of smaller cuts litter his face and arms. What your focus lands on first are the several deep stab wounds on his thighs.
A hand comes up to cup your mouth to keep yourself from screaming at the sight of your best friend in this position. He struggles against his restraints, muffled cries for your assistance shattering your heart into a thousand pieces like broken shards of glass. Tear streaks mixed with dried blood cover the apples of his cheeks.
“Oh my god, Eric,” your voice wobbles as you scramble to free him. “Oh my god…”
You pull down the fabric in his mouth first and he gasps for air. His eyes widen at something behind you and he warns, “Y/N—!” before he’s interrupted by your yelp. The person pressed into your back has their arm around your neck with a hold tight enough that you can’t escape, but loose enough that you can breathe, the blunt edge of a knife grazing the column of your throat.
“Tsk tsk, Youngjae. You should know that making so much noise when your killer’s not in the room just alerts them of suspicious activity. That’s survival 101, my friend. Isn’t that right, sweet sweet Y/N?”
No.
No. No. No. No. No.
This wasn’t happening.
This couldn’t be happening.
“Please, let her go, Hyunjae.” Eric begs. Hyunjae hums, nuzzling his nose in your hair. He rolls his eyes and scoffs after inhaling your scent, resting his chin on your shoulder.
“God, you’re a mouthy one. Not even Juyeon and Sunwoo were this chatty when I slit their throats— then again, it's not like they could talk much anyway.” He snorts.
You felt sick. You were lightheaded now, just at the thought of your friends gone. “W-why are you doing this?”
Hyunjae grumbles, pouting his lips. “Time for me to unravel my evil villain monologue, huh?” He slips a hand under your sweatshirt and pinches the side of your waist. “Well here it is; what you’re dying to know. The first incident was by complete accident, we were simply having a discussion about why he shouldn’t have been staring at your ass while his girlfriend was next to him at Jeong Jaehyun’s end of summer bonfire. The dude got pissed off that I called him out and tried to start a fight, but I shoved him so hard, he fell and hit his head on a rock. I just couldn’t find it in myself to feel bad about it so I left him there like nothing. From then on, anyone who came between us or remotely hurt you in any way wound up on the receiving end of this knife. Funny isn’t it? How you’re the one beneath it this time?”
It all began to fall into place once he laid the cards out on the table for you to read. The guy you ran into Tuesday after class. Poor Kim Mingyu, who just wanted to pass his English final. Your friends not picking up their phones. And supposedly it was all in the name of love.
“Y-you did that for me?”
“Of course, baby,” Hyunjae mutters into the shell of your ear. “I said I’d protect you didn’t I? I just want you all to myself.”
“What the fuck does that possessive bullshit have to do with me? What did it have to do with Juyo or Changmin or Sunwoo?” Eric cries. “Oh god, what about—?”
“Sangyeon, Hoon, Chanhee, Hak? Yeah, those four were taken care of way before my own roommates. You, obviously, were the chosen one this go around. Then it would be Kevin and lastly, Jacob. I planned on stopping after you three unless absolutely necessary.”
“How is any of this fucking necessary? You’re psychotic,” the blonde exclaims, still wriggling in his restraints. “Why would Y/N want you after all of this? Did you really believe she’d never find out about what you’ve done?”
Hyunjae glides the smooth edge of the blade against your skin and releases you from his grip, but takes a hold of your wrist, placing the handle in your grasp. He urges you forward, closer to Eric. “If she was scared of me, don’t you think she would’ve tried harder to escape me? Didn’t even blink when I held the knife to her neck.”
The brunette kisses your temple and you watch the fear in Eric’s eyes morph into defeat. “After everything we’ve been through? I’ve known you since eighth grade, Y/N. Eighth fucking grade. And this is how it ends?”
“H-he loves me,” you stutter, glancing at Hyunjae. “Don’t you?”
“You don’t kill your best friends out of love, Y/N! He’s insane! Please, don’t let him get into your head. You’re not that kind of person.” Eric attempts to reason.
Maybe you weren’t. Maybe you were. Who knows? That didn’t matter. What mattered was the fact that Hyunjae loved you. He loved you so much that he’d kill for you. Over and over and over again.
It was kind of comical that you loved him all the same. You, too, would kill for him. Over and over and over again.
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© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.
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storywriter007 · 10 months ago
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(Part 1) Part 2 - You Used to Avoid Me Too (Percy Jackson x Fem!Reader, Leo Valdez x Fem!Reader)
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summary: in which y/n finds clarity in her time away from percy.
warnings: cursing, inappropriate humor, mention of the dead, toxic relationship, etc
genre: sadness turned into happiness ig???
word count: 912
-> heroes of olympus masterlist
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y/n walked out of percy's cabin, not exactly sure what she was feeling. she was sad, but she was angry, but was she finally in a state of clarity? who knew? she looked around a couple of times, hoping no one heard the ruckus that had just occurred. tears fell from her eyes. she saw a shadowy figure stare at her for a brief minute before it disappeared.
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"y/n! it's time for breakfast!" one of her cabinmates yelled.
"coming!" y/n yelled back, hoping that the cold water had washed away the redness in her eyes.
she began walking to the pavilion, but felt a strong urge to turn around when she saw him.
him with the dark hair and bright eyes walking happily to breakfast as if he hadn't destroyed whatever hope she had in him the night before.
y/n grabbed her breakfast and began walking down to her table, unfortunately having to pass percy on her way there.
"i heard so much noise from percy's cabin yesterday." one kid said.
"my boy got it on last night!" the other kid exclaimed, the table bursting out in laughter.
perfect timing y/n thought as she walked by, suddenly not feeling hungry anymore. she took the apple and walked out of the pavilion and to the lake.
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you're not annabeth. you're not her.
those six words replayed in y/n's mind as tears began to fall from her eyes. why would someone even say such a thing?
she felt someone come sit beside her. not wanting to show her tear stained face, she quickly wiped her cheeks and put on a smile.
"i like your smile." the person said.
y/n turned to see leo. a wave of shock passed through her body, but she didn't show it.
"thank you." she smiled.
"but it doesn't hide your tomato eyes." he laughed.
y/n chuckled too.
"what're you doing out here?" he asked.
"just sitting. looking at the view." she responded.
"with a side of crying?"
"maybe."
"i heard you guys last night."
oh great y/n thought.
"we did not 'get it on-'" she started.
"i know. you guys were fighting. pretty badly, i'll add. i heard the glass and the yelling. i saw-"
y/n thought back to yesterday night and remembered there was some shadow walking around.
"you saw me." she sighed. "fuck."
"ing? i thought that's what didn't happen." he laughed.
"haha, very funny." she rolled her eyes.
"i heard the things he said." he started. "i don't think he's right."
"but isn't he? i wasn't what he was looking for and i was stupid enough to think i was."
"you can't change yourself to be what he misses. your job isn't to be the past, it's to be the present and the future."
"i don't even know. i'm so upset. he didn't even love me in the first place and for some reason, i feel like that's so much worse than falling out of love with me. i would've known he cared at one point. but now, i know he never ever did." she chuckled. it made more sense aloud. "and, i hope this doesn't sound mean, but why do you care? you used to avoid me too."
"yeah i did, but that didn't mean i wanted to." he answered.
"explain?"
"percy's my bro, so first, i just stayed away because he wanted me to. i never knew the real reason until he started saying a bunch of weird shit."
"like what?"
"stupid shit. like, 'y/n's hair is different' or 'y/n got a question wrong in math.' it was like he was subtly comparing you to annabeth, while trying to not completely give himself away. i lost respect for him first when he said you were only good during the nighttime, if you know what i mean. i think i lost a more respect for him when he said, and i quote, 'do you guys ever pretend someone is someone else? but then they're not like that person and it gets you pissed off?'"
y/n knew her tears were falling down her face again.
"then i was like, fuck this, i need to ask if y/n's alright. if he's saying all this, you must've been like a victim."
"mhm." she nodded. "i don't even know what i did wrong."
y/n buried her face into her hands as breathing became difficult.
"wait, hey-don't cry!" he panicked. "i mean, percy's stupid anyways. well i know i'm stupid, but he's like really stupid-" he started, trying to wipe away y/n's tears with his hands. "you didn't hear this from me, but he's obsessed with someone who's six feet under, maybe seven, she was kinda tall. it's like necrophilic at this point-"
y/n chuckled at that.
"if anything, he can take the gravestone and shove it up his ass." he smiled.
y/n gave him a weak smile as her tears slowly reduced.
"i'll see you around camp." leo said, getting up and reaching a hand out for her.
she took it, getting up.
"see you around leo." she smiled.
as they both went their seperate ways, y/n just couldn't stop smiling. she looked around as she walked back to the main area of the camp. she saw percy, sword fighting with jason. as she walked by, she locked eyes with percy.
"y/n!" he yelled "can we talk? please?"
"i would love to but i think you've got a gravestone shoved up your ass!" she yelled back.
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pt 2 because you guys requested ittt. it just hurts to make leo the bad guy so we cleared his name up <3
hope you guys like it lowkey gonna write more angst now
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chuuyasheaven · 2 years ago
Note
Hii! When I saw that you opened up a new event, I got so excited ong
I wanted to request fem!reader with dazai prompts 12 and 6. And can the reader be like a teasing, cocky person like dazai? Like he decides to punish her for being too cocky? Sorry if it’s too much, take your time and happy (late) Valentine’s Day love!
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Prompt/Number: 6: “Brats don't get to cum, darling.” / “Let me hear your sweet moans, baby/Love.”
Summary: Dazai doesn't like being teased, so he'll fuck it into your head! <3
Warnings: Dom!Dazai, Sub!Fem!Reader, Brat taming (if you squint ig), Petnames (maybe like darling, angel, brat, slut, etc.), edging,, mentioned bondage, porn without plot, slight chocking, stuff i forgot!
Notes (from me): Consider it already done, darling! Also late Valentine's to you too!
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All this because you decided to tease him.
Being tied up to prettily just for him to see.
How did this happen you may ask?
~
Today you showed up in a tight skirt, which Dazai loved.
But the problem was, well..
...you didn’t wear it for him.
“What do you think of this, Atsushi? Looks cute, right?”, Dazai observed Atsushi’s reaction to your dirty intentions.
“..Uhm- yeah, it looks good, [Name]! But isn’t it a little inappropriate for work?”, Atsushi answered your question, you giggled.
“Why, is that so? Then, Atsushi, how do you know? You must’ve looked somewhere else then.”, this made Atsushi all flustered out of embarrassment.
“N-no, it’s because- wouldn’t it be..i-i mean-”, “He’s right, [Name]. You can’t just show up to work like that? Also don’t accuse Atsushi of such behavior, will you?”, Kunikida backed up Atsushi.
Normally, Dazai would laugh, but he doesn’t.
Just as this conversation ended, Kunikida added another thing.
“Oh, and Atsushi, we need you for a mission right now.”, Atsushi responded with a confused tone in his voice.
“Wasn’t i partnered up with Ranpo?”, Ranpo pouted as he became part of the conversation.
“Yeah, Atsushi was supposed to be with me today! I can’t go alone.”, “Well, sorry Ranpo, but this is urgent.”
You saw this as a opportunity to get out of the agency, and decided to volunteer.
“I can go with you, Ranpo! I don’t have anything better to do.”, this angered Dazai even more.
~ Finally, you arrived in your shared apartment.
When you returned earlier to get your stuff in the agency, Dazai was already gone.
So you assumed seeing him at home.
But the apartment was empty.
You thought nothing of it, so you entered your bedroom ready to take off the damn skirt.
“Took you long enough to get home, Bella.”, you jumped when you heard Dazai’s voice.
“Dazai! Don’t scare me like that.”, Dazai just stared at you from the bed.
“Sorry, darling, didn’t mean to. But, i would like to address something.”
Dazai stands up, walking towards you now. For some reason it felt somewhat..unreal?
He kept walking until you had to take steps back. Dazai had yourself bump against the wall, cornering you in between him and the wall.
“Do you like attention, darling?”, you blinked a few times before answering the question.
“W-what? I mean, yeah, when it’s from you-”, Dazai looked into your eye, holding the eye contact.
“Well, i give you enough of that daily, isn’t that right?”, usually, he isn’t like this, something must’ve gotten into him.
Whatever that was, it’s so attractive.
“Y-yes, you do..”, now he was chuckling.
“Tell me, why did you come to work dressed like a attention hungry whore? Were you so desperate for not one, not two, but three other men’s attention?”, you didn’t know how to answer.
You weren’t attention hungry like Dazai meant, you just wanted to tease him back for all the time he did. Maybe..this was too much?
“No answer? This must mean you’re aware. Say, do you know how attention hungry whores get treated?”, weird, how did it get so hot suddenly?
“Oh, wait! I didn’t say it right, in other words, i assume you want me to fuck you like one.”, oh how right he was.
Suddenly you felt something against your neck, something cold..
“Is this what you want?”, Dazai questioned as he slightly put more pressure on his hand, the cold hand that was gently chocking you.
“I guess it is, i can feel you soaking up my knee, slut.”, he stated as he placed a knee against your clothed core.
Dazai smashed his lips on yours, his tongue entering yours, as you helplessly take it.
When you two parted again, Dazai gave you a command.
“Now, get onto the bed. And spread your legs while you’re at it too, yes?”, you followed his command, so you made your way towards the bed, spreading your legs slightly.
What happened, are you actually ashamed right now?
“You can open up way further, we both know that.”, Dazai kneeled down to face your cunt, he opened up your thighs further.
“There we go. Oh! You’re actually turned on by this? Such a whore, aren’t you?”, you just whimpered, making smirk.
Dazai presses a finger against your clothed clit, making you loose a moan.
Therefore he added more pressure and started rubbing it. This caused you to get wetter by each rub.
Embarrassed by this, you try to cover your mouth.
Trying to make you loose your sweet sounds, Dazai took off your already wet panties.
Blowing a little air to it, a moan slipped through your lips.
“Come on, why so shy, Bella? Let me hear your sweet moans, whore.”
Still, Dazai just received a muffled moan. Enough of it, he just gave your bare, wet pussy a lick.
Why wouldn’t you just listen? Well, this means Dazai has no other choice.
Getting up, he takes some of his bandages to tie your hands together.
After that, he just went down on you.
Eating you out like a starved man, making you loose your mind.
All this became to much-
“You’re squirming around, you must be close then, am i right?”, you just nodded.
Just when it almost happened, he cut you off, no, Dazai just cut off your orgasm.
“Brats don’t get to cum, darling. You should know this.”
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Might write a part two for this! 😘
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stayarmytinyzenmoa-l · 11 months ago
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Hey, Mickey! [Pt. 2]
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University AU TW: Language, Alcohol Consumption, P w/out P, Hook-Up Culture, Y/N's a bit promiscuous but so are her friends lmfao Smut Warnings: Semi-Public Sex, Car Sex, Sloppy Make Outs, Penetrative Sex, Degradation, Name Calling, Fingering, Handjob, Oral (F!Giving - Blowjob), Lowkey face-fucking, Overstimulation, San's a meanie (translated: soft dom ish), Unprotected Sex (contraceptives are sexy guys), Double Penetration, Anal, Creampie, Manhandling, Multiple Orgasms, Genre: Romance, Smut, Exes-to-FWB-to-Lovers, Minors DNI Pairing: Choi San x Reader ft. Yeosang YN Pronouns: Female (She/Her) Word Count: 3.8K
[Other Groups Masterlist] [Ao3 Link] | [Wattpad Link]
Notes: I didn't mean to write a sequel to this but... here we are ig lmaooooooo BUT THIS IS IT I PROMISE! Also rq you do not need to read part 1, this can be a stand alone, but if you want to read that filth go ahead. Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in these actions. The idols mentioned in this work are meant to be seen more as face claims rather than the actual idols themselves.
Feedback is greatly appreciated!! Thank you for reading!
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"I hate you, (Y/N)!" Your friend cried. "You said he's free!"
"Okay, and? He's not free anymore," you sipped on your iced tea while your friend lamented on the table in front of you.
"Was he... was he at least a good fuck?"
"I guess you'll never know."
"No!" Your friend cries into her arms. She looks at you with sad eyes. "You're lucky I love you."
"Yup," you finished your tea and placed it aside while you continued your paper. "Plus, you don't want to date that asshole," you rolled your eyes and groaned.
"Why not?"
"His idea of a date is a movie and a fuck, he's so unromantic," you complained.
"Why are you dating him then?" She asks, regaining her composure and touching up her eyeliner now.
"I guess I'm just used to it," you eyed her weirdly but continued your own business. "Maybe I kinda missed it."
"Wow, your friends were right, your standards are really on the floor, huh?" She huffs. Apparently so.
"I know," you couldn't stop the grin from rising on your face. "Anyway, we have a date later, so we'll see what happens," you rest your chin against your palm.
"Aw, what's the plan?" She pushes.
"Let's see," San chimes behind you while placing a hand on your shoulder, "dinner at 6, movie at 8, and sex in my car at 10," San lists off on his fingers behind you.
"You're stupid," you rolled your eyes again and looked at your friend, "what did I tell you. Unromantic, right?" You sighed.
"Just the way you like it," he shoots you a wink and steals your coffee.
"What else did I tell you? Absolute asshole," you deadpanned toward your friend. San, making no comment, walked off. "Look, he just came here to fucking embarrass me and take my shit, ugh, why am I talking to him again?" You shook your head and went back to work. "Consider yourself lucky, friend." You stole a glance at her, catching her watching San walk off.
"I wish I had a guy who treated me like shit."
"You're even stupider than he is."
"Let me live my whore era in peace," her head slips down her hand and she giggles. "You have two other friends, right?"
"Why are you so attracted to my friends?!"
"Why are your friends so attractive?!" She fires back.
~
"Really, San? I thought you'd at least be a little more classy than this," you crawled over to the backseat and straddled his lap. The earlier date was a bit of a blur, to be honest, the movie was boring and dinner was okay, but part of you felt that weird semblance of him trying to be more romantic. It didn't work though. In the end, you were still about to fuck in his car, one of the most unromantic of places.
"I mean, yeah, but you're here anyway, aren't you?" His hands rest on either side of your hip. "If you want me to take you home to my place right now then I'll do it," he shrugs. "But can you wait that long?" He teases you.
"Shut up," you leaned down and kissed him. Your lips moved together slowly while San's thumbs started to trace circles around your hips. His hands slipped into your shirt and sent a cold shock up your spine, something that elicited a small groan from you and allowed San to push forward while deepening the kiss. You felt your hips relax against his lap and you could feel his boner against his jeans. You separated for a moment, leaving San to chase after you.
"What?" His voice sounded more disinterested than annoyed.
"Your windows are tinted, right?" You looked out into the nighttime.
"Nope," he pulls you down to his lips once again.
"San," his name was muffled between your lips. "Mm mmm," you shook your head. He pulled away.
"Come on, no one's here, you can see the lot better than I can," he starts to kiss your neck instead. He wasn't really wrong per se, you really should've suspected something when he parked back here, but here you were being surprised again, huh? "What are you so worried about? It's not like anyone we know would be here at this time," he continues. Again, he wasn't wrong.
Plus, part of you thought that car sex was hot.
"Fine, but I do expect you to bring me home still," you said.
"Yeah, yeah, of course," he pulled your shirt off and kissed you again, something you welcomed and reciprocated. He reached behind you and unclasped your bra before tossing it to some unknown part of the car, and your hips bucked against his, something that made him smirk against you. "Needy much?" He teased you too often, in your opinion.
"Shut up and just fuck me already, okay?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," San separated from you and you groaned. "Hold on there, baby, we're not just fucking around anymore," he lowers you against the seat and your breath catches in your throat. "Nah, we're "talking," right? I'm fucking to keep you now," he presses small kisses against your chest. "Then again, my competition is Mark, so I'm not too concerned," he grabs the waistbands of your skirt and your panties and pulls them off slowly.
"Don't be mean!" You tug at his hair and he groans around your nipple.
Mark, San's polar opposite. He was sweet, romantic, and just so caring, kinda bad at sex but you would never tell him. You didn't deserve him, now that you thought of it, especially since you're about to be willingly dicked down by your ex, but what's new?
"And? Since when were you into the nice guys? I know you, you like us mean," San's fingers ghost over your clit and your back arches. He pushes himself up and presses wet kisses along your jaw just as he traces his fingers around your folds and, fucking finally, he presses two fingers inside of you.
"Haa..." you let out a shaky moan and felt yourself sinking into the leather seats. You pulled his face to yours and kissed him hard. He let out a low groan as you started to palm at his crotch.
"You like us stupid too," he mutters against you. "You like it when we can't think of anything other than you, you thrive on that shit, it gets you off every time," his voice was a low rumble on your lips.
"No," your response came out as a low moan, "that's not..." you couldn't finish your sentence, not with how he was moving inside of you.
"You're all I ever think about," he presses up against your g-spot and your legs nearly clamped together as you started to grind on his fingers. "I could be doing whatever and all I can think about is how much of a cock-hungry whore you can be, all I think about is how you can barely even talk after I'm done with you. You should see yourself right now, where'd all that pride from earlier go?" He pulled his hand away in a swift movement, licking them clean before pulling his jeans off. The opportunity presented itself and you weren't one to back down, besides, you couldn't let him have all the glory. You were quick to push him back now, taking more of a front and wrapping your hand around his dick. "Oh?" He asks with a confident grin. You dragged your hand up and started to slowly jerk him, taking your time to listen to his own pretty moans.
"I usually prefer to be the one dumb fucked stupid but... you said it yourself, I'm fucking to keep you," you crawled into the space between his legs and wrapped your lips around the tip of his cock, your tongue drawing languid circles around it while San's head hit the back of the seat.
"Fuck..." he drew the curse out and his hand rested on the top of your head as you took more and more of his cock into your mouth. He wasn't pushing down on you, thankfully, but the force was there, and god did it turn you on. You pulled your head up along his dick now, jerking him all along the way while he started to pull at your hair. The bitter taste of precum dragged along your tongue each time you tried to take more of him. "You can take more of it, I know you can," he starts to push your head down further and you gagged around him. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes and San cursed again. "Fuck, you look so hot like this," he brushes your hair out of your face right as you take the last of him in. Deep breaths, just relax. Not the first time you blew him, just the first time in such a restricted space. You try to pull off of him again, but his hips move up and he holds you in place.
"Mmph," you moaned around him while he thrust into you. Your legs started to give way under you, sliding further apart while you sank to the bottom of the car and your wetness dripped out of you. One of your hands moved to your pussy and you slipped your index and middle fingers inside to scissor yourself while you gagged on his cock. San moaned on top of you just as he pulled you off of him to give you a chance to climb back on top of him, your pussy hovering above his cock for just a moment before you spread your lips and sank down on him. He pulled you down into an open kiss, with wet moans being stolen with his tongue. His hands settled on your hips, squeezing them gently to urge you to move at your own pace, and a small shift from him was enough for you to start riding him. Your hips rocked back and forth, the car shifting under you with every movement but your wary glances around confirmed that you and he were still alone. Finally, you felt your abdomen tighten and you tugged him away from you. "I'm... haa... I'm almost there," you told him.
"Are you?" His words had a heavy sultry tone to them and you felt his lips trail up your jawline. "Hold it in," he bites down on your neck and you whimpered.
"I don't think... mmph... I don't think I can," your voice mixed with your moans now and his hands tightened on your waist to hold you still.
"You know, I just cleaned this car too," he spoke against your neck. This asshole. "Would be a shame if I had to clean it again," he sighs and lowers you down again, taking full control of you.
"San, please," your hands squeezed his hips and he thrusts into you. "Please, please, please," you begged him. You couldn't hold your orgasm in any longer than you already have.
"Go then," he releases your hips and you grasp onto his shoulders and lean forward, moving up and down his length to reach your orgasm all the while he whispers dirty things. Your pussy slid against his cock, feeling the way he stretched you open with each glide up and down, it was almost too good. The things you would do just to get him to let you sit on his cock forever. "Damn, only I can make you like this, huh?" He grins just as you stilled over him, your orgasm wracking through your body, and him moaning on top of you, staying in place while your pussy tried to pull him in further.
"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck," you cursed repeatedly and San flipped you so that your stomach was against the seats and he pistoned into you. "Fuck, oh god, I can't," you shook your head against them now while San thrust into you with enough force that your wetness gushed around his cock. And when you felt his thumb press against your pucker you grabbed onto the seats with a vice grip, then right as you reached your second orgasm he stilled for a moment, letting you ride it out, until he spoke again.
"You ready?"
"Mmhmm," you moaned and he pushed into you.
"Shit..." he let out a breathy moan, while you moaned loudly, not caring if anyone was around to hear you. Your hand moved to your clit, trying to speed up to your next orgasm.
"Ugh, oh god," your hands moved faster and soon, somehow, you were on his lap again, your arms wrapped around his neck and his hands on your waist while he fucked you and you bit down on his shoulder to keep from screaming while the car rocked back and forth and, then, you made a mistake. You opened your eyes.
And Yeosang's jaw dropped.
Immediately, you zipped your mouth shut and San, sensing the sudden unease, stopped all his movements. You and Yeosang were stuck staring at each other for a bit, and carefully, awkwardly, he held up a bag and pointed at it.
"Haa, fuck," you cursed, rolled your eyes, and pointed at San's head. San turned his head just enough to see him, before he looked at you.
"Down?" He asks. He didn't specify what in particular, but with enough context, you were able to piece it together.
"In here?"
"Sure."
"Ugh," you groaned again. "If he is," you finally conceded. You looked out the back window again and, for whatever reason, Yeosang was still standing there. Of all the times to run into him it happened to be when your ex was balls deep into your pussy, of course. Wordlessly, San turned just enough to see him again and raised his hand up, motioning for Yeosang to come in. Yeosang, seemingly, took a deep breath and sighed. He looked at you, showing you a thumbs up and a look as if to ask if it was really okay, and with another roll of your eyes you nodded, and he shrugged, and he walked over. "God, it's about to get so cramped." You grumbled.
"Whatever, not the first time we fucked in this car," San groaned. You made a move to pull off of him, but he held you still while he leaned over and unlocked the car.
"I have, uh, waba grill," Yeosang slides in. "You look hungry, (Y/N)."
"A little, yeah," you nodded.
"Yo, you gonna join us or are you just here to fap?" San leans over to ask him. "Lock the car for me too."
"Yeah, yeah," Yeosang locks the car. "You cool if I join for sure, right?" He asks you.
"Woo might be mad that he's not here," you looked away for a moment.
"Aw, man, Woo doesn't have to know," San reasons.
"Well, whatever," Yeosang tosses his food onto the driver's seat and climbs in the back. "How far are we?"
"Three orgasms... was about to be four until you decided to look in here," you muttered.
"Whoops," Yeo pulls his shirt off and you look away.
"Yo," San whistles lowly.
"You guys suck," you mumbled and San pulled you off of him.
"I'll take a breather, you two have fun," San says. That's... different.
"Huh? You sure?" Yeosang asks and even you were surprised.
"Sure, last time you two get to fuck at least."
"Last?!" You both exclaimed.
"Yup, next time (Y/N) and I'll be official."
"In your dreams, Choi San," you rolled your eyes and turned Yeosang's face toward yours, capturing his lips with yours in an instant. Yeosang matched your rhythm quickly, holding onto your hips with a gentle grip while you moved on top of him.
"Oh," he mumbles. Yup, you both knew it, he was planning something. "Whatever, (Y/N), come here," he pulls you close to him and you press your lips to his.
Okay, you had to admit it, this wasn't the first time you and Yeosang fucked. The first time was because you both got drunk at a party. The second was because he picked you up from a failed date. And the third was now. And yet every time and with every partner, of course, you ended up comparing them to the jackass sitting behind you. Yeosang was gentler in his movements, he had control, easily, but he let you go through the motions. Even now, while you sank your hips onto his, you could feel the motions of him pushing you down too. You held onto both headrests on either side of you when he started to thrust into you, and you fought the urge to clamp your legs whenever he pushed into you just right. Your hands traced up his abdomen, wrapping around either side of his chest while you rode him, in some ways Yeosang was just perfect and if it hadn't been for San then maybe, maybe, this would've felt a little less cruel. Then, you felt San press his hand onto your back and he pushed you down onto Yeosang, close enough that you two nearly fell into a kiss.
"You know, (Y/N)," San whispers in your ear, pressing a small kiss to the shell of it too. "Yeo's had the biggest crush on you since we were kids."
"Come on, man, don't tell her about that," Yeosang's face twists in pleasure. He holds onto you tighter, thrusts becoming more pointed.
"The dude used to cum in socks thinking of you," San laughs. "What do you think? Pussy better than fabric?" San chides.
"San!" You tried to turn to glare at him, but his hand kept your head in place.
"And look at you two now, fucking in the backseat of my car," he continues to taunt. "How's it feel, Yeo?"
"Fuck you, San," Yeosang holds onto your hips tighter and you let out a breathy moan.
"Don't even listen to him," you pressed your lips against Yeosang's, and he kissed back, with both of your hips rolling against each other. Then you felt San's cock rub against you. And when you felt it push against your asshole, you broke off of Yeosang and buried your head in his neck, muffling your moan against his skin. "Fuck," you gripped onto Yeosang's arms and he groaned with every movement. Every time San pushed further into you, you ground down on Yeosang, and with every thrust you moved forward and back between them until he had finally settled in. You lightly chewed on Yeosang's skin, trying to get used to the feeling. Yeosang moaned under you, feeling the difference almost instantly.
"Shit," he clenches his jaw, holding back as much as he could.
"Don't be a little bitch," San growls, wrapping one arm around your torso and pulling you up against his chest, he thrusts into you and you grab onto his arm, your nails digging into his skin with every movement and Yeosang biting down on his hand to stop himself from cumming inside of you. "You cum in her and I'll make sure you regret it, Yeo," San says.
"I'm fucking trying, asshole," Yeosang makes a move to pull out of you but San pushes you down on his cock further.
"Oh god," your hands were on either side of Yeosang now, mind going blank from both cocks moving inside of you. Yeosang pressed open-mouth kisses against your skin, leaving it burning in its path. You turned your head so that you could whisper to him, being sure that only he could hear you.
"Fuck me like you got to me first," you said beneath a moan. Yeosang turns his head to look at you.
"Fuck it," Yeosang shakes his head and grips your thighs, pushing into you at a new pace to match San's, and you fell limp against him, fighting against his own strength to close your legs.
"Attaboy!" San was almost having too much fun with this. "Savor it, lover boy, this is the last time you get to try it." He could be so mean sometimes.
"Fuck! Oh, god, don't stop!" You felt your orgasm building up inside you again, your pussy clenched around Yeosang's cock and your hands dug into his hair while San constantly reminded you that he was there.
"Haa, shit," Yeosang cursed under you. From the way he was moving you could tell he was close and, fuck how amazing it would be to feel him. "Where?" Was all he could get out and, before you could even answer, San pulled you off of him and wrapped his arms under your legs to keep them open.
"Not inside, that's for sure," San said between grunts, he thrust into you at a faster pace now, not being held back by the previous resistance, and your head fell against his neck, just barely able to see through bleary eyes the way Yeosang jerked his cock. You felt your pussy clench around nothing, trying to get some kind of pleasure, any, and luckily Yeosang knew you better than you thought. His mouth wrapped over your clit, tongue circling around the sensitive nub while San continued to fuck into you, and when Yeosang pushed his tongue inside of you you knew you were done for. Your next orgasm hit you hard, so hard that you swear you blacked out for a second before getting pulled back to the reality that was San cumming in your ass. Your legs shook under his hold, and your breaths were heavy and hot. Yeosang sat up, wiping the cum from his chin as he did so.
"No more... I can't..." you shook your head and San pulled out of you slowly, watching the trail of cum follow his dick.
"Yeah, yeah," San was quiet, finally. Yeosang, meanwhile, reached over and grabbed his clothes.
"Well, I'm out," he pulls his shirt on.
"You're leaving already?" You asked with your eyes screwed shut.
"Yeah, exam," Yeosang rolls his eyes, wiping his dick off before shoving it back into his boxers. "Later," he steps into the passenger seat before unlocking the door, he looks back at San. "Also, you're an asshole."
"I know," San holds his hand up until Yeosang leaves. "You staying back here or moving up?"
"Ugh..." you turned so that your head laid on his chest, "can we just stay like this for a bit?"
"Sure," San's hand rests on your back now. "Too hard?"
"Like you care."
"Hey! I'm trying here," his hands rose up momentarily before settling on you again. You pressed a small kiss to his chest.
"Were you telling the truth about Yeo?"
"Oh yeah, big time," he nods.
"That's mean."
"Just how you like it."
"Fuck you."
"So soon?"
"I... ugh..." you closed your eyes again.
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mistyscenter · 5 months ago
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Warning Baxter fans, this is going to be really negative about him so get out if you don't want to hear the rambling of someone who has mixed feelings on him. k bye
This about to be a really long post and I'm only two moments in Baxter DLC, but let's get into it
As mentioned previously I'm two moments in into Baxter DLC and my god, I'm already weirded out.
I'm currently playing it with my mc Taliyah, if you're familiar enough with my blog you might have seen them around since they're my favorite mc/ oc. This is important because of the way I'm playing it, because I'm playing as Taliyah this means I'm doing Cove's route since Taliyah is mostly a Cove mc (I say mostly because they can be a Derek mc if I feel like it (note ost of my mcs are ocs of my original story so this is like an au for me)), and god it feels weird dating Cove while playing Baxter version of hang, I'd say it would still be weird even if you're not going to romance Cove for reasons I will discuss later. What's weirding me out is the lack of interactions with Cove "But misty-" you might say "-it's Baxter dlc it makes sense you'd interact less with Cove" you're right, it does, we spend one moment with Cove in Derek dlc if you're not planning to do Cove's version of "soiree" but here's my counter point: Derek is already your friend and Derek doesn't only interacts with MC, and neither does Cove. My issues stem from the fact that Baxter ONLY interacts MC, which I suppose wouldn't be a problem if you're dating him, ig? (it would for me but I'm aro so, don't take my world for granted). Also is just really weird that MC doesn't talk that much with Cove in Baxter dlc because, even if you're not dating him, he's still your friend of 10 years if you're not playing indifferent. In "lemonade" Cove and Mc share stories of when they were young with Derek, Cove and MC actively talk with each other, Mc can tease Cove about eating too much because you've known the guy for 5 fucking years and again, if you're not indifferent, he's your best friend and/or crush. "Lemonade" doesn't feel weird because Cove takes an active part of the story, he doesn't in "Hang" and is weird as fuck.
"Sightseeing" didn't feel nearly as odd because a) is a really good way to introduce Baxter's character and to get the player familiar with him but because of that you do have to play it first or else the rest of the dlc feels weird and b) you had moments where, if you are dating cove, you can bring up how much he means to you and Baxter would even hope for the two of you to never break up, which is actually really sweet of him c: and ironic considering he then says to you that Jude and Scott won't last because they are long distance but it does explain Baxter's views on relationships. It also didn't feel odd because Cove wasn't there and it didn't felt like you were neglecting your friend/boyfriend. And btw I'm not even saying that Baxter's version of "Hang" is bad, not at all is once again a great introduction to Baxter and his character, but it would have benefited from having Baxter interact more with Terry and Miranda or heck l I would have loved to see more of Cove and Baxter interacting so it didn't feel as odd. Baxter DLC feels odd to me because of how much one-on-one time you spend with him, when that's not something that you do in the game with the other LIs.
I seriously think his dlc could have been more interesting if we saw more of him interacting with Terry and Miranda because we don't really see them interacting that much, which is a pity considering that Terry clearly views him as a friend but we don't get that feeling tbf we also don't get that feeling with the entire friend group Terry and Miranda aren't flushed out at all and before anyone says that they were in Baxter dlc, yeah "planning" did give us more about Miranda's family but not so much into her character and yeah it was nice to see Terry being worried about that being the last summer they do something together, but that's it and don't try to bring up that one singular dialogue in step 4 a dialogue doesn't count as character development
This all I have to say for now, I don't really have issues with Baxter step 3 his step 4 is what bothers me, his step 3 is a really good set up for his character I honestly just think you'd have to tweak some dialogue and options and that's it.
Also if you made it this far, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD READ MY TAGS, I genuinely want this to be a discussion on baxter dlc so please please be civil
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stellarcobweb · 3 days ago
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tbh . thinkin.
so. energywork related stuff basically
tl;dr my energy system is weird (/neu)
two of the systems of magic that i'm naturally talented at have been clairsentience (tbh i kinda joke abt being a dark empath but fully do not consider myself an empath at all. i'm just REALLY good at picking up on the energies of a place or person, esp in an inuitive way. i don't personally feel it though. the primary way i speak to entities, be they deity or spirit, is via impressions of emotion), and energywork (more on that in a sec)
HOWEVER. i do also consider myself an energy vampire, in a sense. primarily in the "i feel like my energy system is a bucket, and there is a tiny little hole in the bottom of that bucket constantly draining me bit by bit, so i need to intake more outside energy so that i can stop that gap and fill myself back up" kinda way. and tbf, while i have fed directly off of people before (with consent), i tend to fix my issue by just. filter feeding??? for lack of better term??? and taking the energy of food that i eat??? not to mention its a lot easier for me to upkeep my energetic body now that i'm not in an abusive relationship w an asshole abusing me in spiritual ways
either way, i was thinking about like. so, my energy has been read for me a few times before, and i remember the main things to stick out were like. its very sticky! it clings, and the like. tbh thats part of why i named my blog the way i did lol, i used to compare myself to spiders (and butterflies, tbf. and now moths LOL), not to mention i was directly told that my energy was a lot like that of a spiders. which tbh in combo with my tug towards the concept of thread of fate, weaving fate, the red string of fate, etc. kinda funny ngl. also one of the reasons why i learned how to crochet and shuttle/tatting lace AND kumihimo
but aside from that, i've always been like. inherently connected to the concept of stars, or the night sky. primordial void. that kinda thing. i like calling it primordial soup tbh. which does lend a voidy quality to the energy i have, alongside general dark stuff.
it also makes cleansing really easy tho! mainly in the. i'm not replacing dark with light, i'm just getting rid of the stuff not meant to be there, or that is kicking the balance of the place out of whack. or like. hrm.
when i'm cleansing my energy system, or someone elses, for example, i'm not clearing them of negative or positive energy, or destroying whatever lean or sway they have. i'm getting rid of any parasites, hangers-on, things that are harmful to said system. it gets complicated in situations w people sharing the body, but even then, i'm not weakening any ties there. which ig is an example of me being able to do very fine-tuned delicate energywork???? shit gets complicated and if you touch the wrong thing even slightly you can throw the whole system out of whack. also tbh i tend to view energy systems as connections of strings, one for each relationship you have to someone else, distinct memories that have left an impact, your energy systems linking up together, etc... very fascinating stuff tbh
tbh i also personally think its funny that like. i ascribe to the belief that i was reincarnated from a deity (not one local to this universe), who i tend to define as a Cosmic Creatrix of sorts. despite that, i associate myself currently mostly with destruction vs creation, though i can do either/or. destruction is just easier and more natural. honestly in terms of like explaining how i feel abt the whole thing: stares at Rukkhadevata and Nahida. it feels a lot like that situation. plus the other beliefs i have in regards to how exactly i was created, why i/she died, specific things i remember from that past life (not much)
idk its fun to think of these things
anyways all that to say that when i was still wiccan, i would only ever do new moon sabbats bc they felt better to me. more like home
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goldrushenthusiast · 1 year ago
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I’m gonna be honest, while TSATS was very fulfilling in terms of Solangelo, I feel like it kind of disappointed in…everything else?
Like I had so many hopes for this book! And while that may be a factor as to why it was a let down, I’m still gonna share them.
More Lester/Apollo content! More anyone else content!! We did get a small snippet of letting us know he’s ok (I think) but it would’ve been nice to have more of him, especially considering the prophecy mess and his own complicated relationship with Will. I felt like there were a lot of golden opportunities to at least mention him and the impact it all had on Will that weren’t taken advantage of.
More revenge, or commentary, on what happened to Nico with Cupid. Now, what we did get is ok, and I’m not criticizing that, but that kind of thing can really mess a person up. The fact Nico didn’t tell Will about it, and the fact that that whole thing was just…another part of his trauma? I’m not sure how to put it, but it seemed blander than it should have been.
More other ghost content! For heavens sakes, they’re in the underworld! I get the whole thing with not being spotted by Hades, but come on. Nothing about Jason’s ghost, that weird thing with Bianca (which is saved for #4), or an opportunity for anyone else who’d previously died was used. How cool would it be to see Micheal Yew’s ghost, and how that would help Will? It’d be great, and it felt like the underworld was just another place when it would have been better if they thought about the fact people they knew that were now dead there, were there.
BIANCA!!! BIANCA, BIANCA, BIANCA! I thought the whole grey part that Rick advertised, or at least part of it, would have been about Nico’s time in the labyrinth and Bianca’s death. It wasn’t. That’s kind of it for how I wished Rick would have shared more about her death and how it affected Nico, but now the whole ghost-remanent thing. Honestly, it was kind of weird. I liked the idea, I thought it was nice, but also, it was kind of weird. I just didn’t like it.
Other campers? I get that they had to wait a while to go to Tartarus, but we barely got to see any of their normal life at Camp Half Blood. We didn’t get to check in on Drew, or Meg, or anyone else from any of the series besides Will’s siblings. I thought it was kind of a letdown tbh.
Last one, and the most unrealistic, I thought it would have been cool to either touch on the fact that other religions exist and have Nico and Will meet Alex and Magnus. Not just because both relationships are queer, but kind of because, but also because we don’t know much about them now. Idk. I just hoped for other characters from other series, ig.
Anywho, sorry if this was so negative! I still liked the book a lot, but I just wish there was more. Of everything. As always, feel free to debate in the comments, or remind me of things I’m forgetting that would have helped.
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cumscrotesailboat · 1 year ago
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I finished Citrus, the "infamous" GL that i keep hearing about and as far as i've seen, its only the anime thats insanely weird. The manga is super different from the anime adaptation. There's a lot to critique with this series BUT the argument i hear saying that it caters primarily to men is not quite accurate. It was made by a sapphic woman, of which the story was inspired by a real experience she had, published by a company that caters to QUEER women. It certainly wasn't made with men in mind.
(Also, spoiler at the bottom if you have plans on reading it)
With that out of the way, the "incest" subplot of the series felt like it had little significance to the narrative of the story. The only time it was being mentioned was the Blonde MC's inner dialogue about how she can't possibly be with the Black haired MC because they're sister and that's it. At the end, their parents agreed to not get married so the two can legally be married. There was no push back on the parents or anyone they knew, it was just there. I can't tell what the author's purpose with it is. In another wlw series i read, the incest subplot was there to shut down the argument "If same-sex love is ok, then that should mean incest love is ok too bcs it doesnt affect anyone right?", but in here I can't be sure if its for drama or if its for the "spicy forbidden love awoogawooga" japanese anime fans seem to love. Personally, i think its the former. It's drama but very weak drama. I don't wanna write off the latter that fast either. Sapphic women can get weird with incest fantasies too. I personally am not into it bcs its incest, crazy take i know, but sure ig? This one I don't really care since it had such little effect on the narrative that you can just ignore it or even delude yourself with thinking it wasn't there at all and your understanding of the series would still be fine.
For the sexual assaults in the early chapters. I dont fucking know man, why did she do that? I mean, we know why, she was trying to push the Blonde MC away as seen in the letter but uhh.. 🤷🤷🤷? Sexual misconducts, harrassment, and assault just makes me feel uncomfortable so this is the one I dont like with the series at all. To give meaning to it (just bcs i dont wanna gloss over it that fast), the black haired MC did that as an impulsive act of selfishness, isolation, and fear of companionship. Early chapters has her shown as shackled by her family's legacy so she was cold and also fucked up.
Another thing are the supporting characters, there's this middle schooler that just fucking REEKS of trauma and the series just doesn't address that. It's so funny bcs you are 13 girl, don't talk as if you're in that grown up world you keep talking about. They're all great tho, even if they felt flat. One thing i keep noticing with nowadays consumption of literary is that every character has to be well-rounded, no it doesn't! its fine if the main cast are the only rounded ones! but yeah, that middle schooler has to be stopped. Please author, what the fuck is wrong with that kid😭☠️
Overall, its really not as bad as its reputation precedes it to be. Its weird yeah but not as weird as the majority of people say it to be. Its fluffy and drama and it definitely wasn't made for men. It's really whatever and only got its reputation bcs of that weird ass anime adaptation thats trying to cater to those freak ass "otakus". Saying that word makes me feel disgusted, jesus christ. I have mixed feelings if its a series I'd recommend bcs there are other series that are better but what i'm sure is its an okay read. I'm big to romance and drama and this series has that. It didn't make me cry but it made me feel tense and sad for the characters, and in my book thats a successful attempt at those genre.
My only gripe with it really is the unnecessary incest and SA, thats why its getting a low score for me. Everything else was fine
anw balls
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starr-finn · 2 years ago
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Hi!!! So I got something (a request) for u :)
- Anyways, it's for Faith (John) bc as that one Tiktok comment said, 'sometimes babygirl is a 35 year old man'
- So reader isn't necessarily religious, but she comes along with John on these 'missions'(?) to make sure he doesn't go completely insane
- (This was suggested by Father Garcia, saying that it would be good to make sure that he doesn't go mad with grief or something)
- Reader is somehow SO optimistic and like a ball of sunshine all the time???
- Like she (or they idm too much) always manages to be somewhat optimistic and always focuses on the good side of things?
- Like, we almost died? Yeah, almost dude! We did it :D
- At first John finds it kind of weird but he kind of grows on it?
- At one point, John gets really down and sad about things in like, the clinic or whatever, and Reader's like 'Don't worry, we'll make it, you and me! :)'
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- She just turns around (like this ig) and gives him a really warm smile and John's heart go BOOM BOOM (💀)
- And John's like 'Oh no I like them in a not platonic way ohno'
- Idk where this is going lmao 😭
AHHHHHH BESTIE YESSSSS!!!!
John Ward X Reader
Author's note: Reader is so Bubbly, it's odd in this time the game takes place. Minor angst and depictions of injury potential minor mentions of gore, reader was stabbed like 7 times, poorly written Catholicism mention again lol and very random additions to the story I made up because why not, no mention of the abortion clinic cuz that's my least favorite part lmaooooo
John had never met someone like you, You were so joyful! Sure, he thought it was funny, and oddly cute sometimes, But sometimes, the sheer joy was off-putting and sometimes uncomfortable. He didn't fully understand why you seemed so happy and cheerful in the situation you both are in together. He remembers the day Father Garcia told him it was a good idea to keep you around, claiming it was good for mental health to have someone else around to talk to in these situations. He never understood that, but he was willing to keep you around, he thought you were nice. He genuinely cared about you, so when you got attacked by a couple demons, and were left in the clinic at the base of operations you guys all set up together, John almost lost his mind, he had seen you get stabbed, and he was told by the guy they had running the clinic that if he hadn't been so careful carrying you in that you may not have made it. John was basically crying when you were put into surgery, you were bleeding so badly, and he swore he thought he could inside the wounds, He felt so gross after seeing you like that. John was pacing around outside listening to Garcia tell him it was going to be ok, and then the doctor walked out, and gave the news you were ok, and John never cried that hard in his life. He was given the ok to go in and see you, and he wasted no time. The sight of you laying on a stiff, uncomfortable bed, looking tired and defeated, while also smiling at him, made his heart feel a way he hadn't felt since he married his ex-wife, he knew the feeling too well, but he never expected he'd feel it for you of all people.
John walks over and sits beside you "How are you feeling?" He seemed scared, but happy, and you had a feeling you knew why
You smile and gently brush his hair back "Like hell...but hey, that's better than what I felt earlier!"
John chuckles and ruffles your hair softly "You're so strong..."
You smile and lean closer to him, closing your eyes and falling asleep. John blushes a bit and smiles, he felt he would never come to terms with the way he felt about you, but, he knew he would protect you with his life, even if it meant losing it. To him, you were a gift from a god he had been losing belief in, a god he worried forgot him. You were special to him, and he never wanted to lose you. He stayed sitting beside you for a couple hours until he was forced to leave, but it became routine, he'd stay with you for hours until you were cleared to leave, and while you felt it was a bit odd, you were happy to have him close, and he was happy you were ok
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harrietbarnesblog · 1 year ago
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Dream come true
Masterpost
Masterlist
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Pairing: sanemi x reader
Warning: none ig. Just fluff and some curse words.
You were the only one who treated him like a normal person. He was rude and looked unapproachable all the time. Who would ever wanna talk to him? Is what he thought. But you keep on putting your effort on him even though he pushed you away again and again. If you cook something you will give it to him. You didn't care if he ate it or threw it away. But you just wanted to treat him like how you treated everyone else.
“Do you like him?” Shinobu asked you.
“Like who?” you asked in confusion.
“The wind hashira?”
“No. of course not. What makes you think that?”
“No it's just that whenever you make something you give a big proportion to him. And you always pay close attention to the conversation if his name is mentioned. You stare at him whenever given the chance.”
“No, I don't like him like that.” you denied.
“Are you sure?”
This should've been an easy question to answer. But you weren't sure how to answer it.
“Umm.. I gotta go. I have work to do.” you said and left before she could ask you anything else or pester you about Sanemi.
It turns out you indeed liked him. It just took you a few days to realise it. You kinda started to act nervous around him ever since.
You woke up panting. It wasn't a nightmare or anything. It was a vivid dream that felt so real. Sanemi cornered you and kissed the shit out of you. You traced your lips and still couldn't believe it was just a dream. You rushed to the bathroom and splashed water onto your face. You looked at yourself in the mirror and couldn't help but smile thinking about it.
However the dream just made it so hard to face Sanemi without you turning into a blubbering mess and your face gets so heated up. You just kept on embarrassing yourself in front of him. You thought he wouldn't notice this but he was.
While he was visiting master Kagaya, He saw Rengoku sitting beside Shinobu eating cookies along with master Kagaya. He knows that cookies all too well. That choco chip is arranged like a smiley. It was the cookies baked by you. He was kinda hurt that you didn't bake for him this time.
He just pretended like he didn't care but deep down it was so hurt. Your profound weird behaviour around him and how you have stopped baking cookies for him. He didn't wish to be here anymore. He wanted to go back to his estate. Furiously he was walking when bumped into you. You fell down on your butt. Scrambling back on your feet, you continuously apologise to him. You tried to run away but he caught you by your wrist.
“Did you start to hate me?” he asked with no hesitation.
“No. of course not. Why would that even cross your mind? I could never hate you, I mean hate anyone in general.”
“Because you didn't bake me any cookies this time and you have started to act weird around me.”
“I baked cookies for you but..”
“But?”
“I- I Had a dream.” you blurted out.
“A dream.” Sanemi was so confused.
“Nevermind. I'll just drop the cookies off at your estate.”
“No. I wanna hear about the dream.”
“You. umm… I-.”
“Come on, say it.”
“You kissed.”
“Who?”
“Me. Youkissedme. And I can't help but think about it everytime I’m around you.”
“Do you want that dream to come true?” he asked you.
“Yes.” you said without thinking.
And just like in your dream he pushed you in a corner and kissed you. He was very soft with you. He didn't want to hurt you in any way. His lips pressed against yours moved smoothly. His hands held your face and your hands clutched his white shirt tightly. Your head was tilted and your lips parted letting him to invade. The kiss felt like a remedy to poison. A remedy that can cure anything. You felt like your body was full of poison. His kiss, the remedy was spreading all over your body.
Gasping for air you both pulled away.
“Ask me again. Ask me if I have started to hate you?” you said, panting.
“Have you started to hate me?”
“No. it's quite the opposite. I have started to like you. So fucking much.”
“That's good. Cause I have started to like you too.”
“Are you guys done with all your confessions?” a voice interrupted your moment. It was shinobu standing along with master Kagaya and Rengoku.
Blushing, you buried your face in Sanemi’s shirt.
“Fuck off, shinobu.” Sanemi said.
Everyone couldn't help but burst into laughter.
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jmdbjk · 1 year ago
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Bangtan Weekly Report
Why did JK come back to Korea?? I seriously thought it was to send Yoongi off but we're still not there yet.
This trip for JK is supposedly associated with a fashion schedule. Seems like if he was on his way to the VMAs they'd be ramming his appearance down everyone's throat for clout.
Personally, I hope he does not appear on that farce of an award show but if he does he'll pomichidai or however you spell it.
Dazed and Jungfused. He let those nipples see daylight and hasn't looked back.
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JK is single-handedly dragging us along in Chapter 2, force-feeding us some grown-ass man full bleed adult Bangtan with his cigarette-smoking, nipple-feuled photos.
You know Mr. OG with the nipples will need to step up his game now right?
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Tae x Layover ... poor guy wondering why everyone was cursing him out during his listening party on Stationhead.
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So I listened to Layover. Added it to my playlists. It's nice, jazzy, R&B. Those genres are not my usual vibe.
Of all the songs, I think Slow Dancing is the one I like best. They were right to choose that as the title track.
The MV is gorgeous, except for the weird images of Yeontan in the trees of the mountain. Those kinda creeped me out... a little hokey, lol.
I was surprised that the songs are heavy in English lyrics. I know Tae has memorized things in English for things like award shows and all, it never seemed like he was confident in speaking English so it surprises me there is so much English in these songs.
Perhaps this is why he had Jungkook record the guides so he could follow them to help with pronunciation.
I watched a few of his Layover promotion interviews. I've been waiting to see him let more of his personality out during this solo rollout.
Tae is very animated and expressive when he speaks. And this is where I say he would excel at acting. He mentioned wanting to play a villian and I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THAT!
The Weverse Magazine story and today's Suchwita episode were more enlightening to me than anything else so far and gave me more insight as to the differences between him and the others. He made me understand his personality better. He made me realize or remember how sentimental he is. They talked in-depth about several topics: 2018, Chapter 2, individual projects and best of all they talked about when they get back together as 7. It did make me tear up when he said when they get back together he would like them to go on a trip together.
Anyway...
Tae has been feeding us on Instagram daily along with Namjoon...
Happy 29th birthday Namjoon!
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You are loved and admired. Thank you for normalizing fuzzy mole head Bangtan, but I'm still going to fall down in a weeping mess when I see Jimin's head like that.
RM just going about his business and showing Jimin some art. The Leeum Museum is within walking distance of their apartments at Nine One, not that I think they walked there, they probably went in Jimin's car since Joon still doesn't drive... just kidding... but who knows. I got behind a Porsche Panamera the other day and was thrilled. That's a much larger car than I originally thought it was.
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[Pretty sure that's a drink Jimin's holding in his left hand. Maybe iced coffee.]
I want to think that some deep conversations happened while these two were contemplating art. How can deep conversations NOT happen when you are hanging around Joon?
And Hobi and Jin still making their presence known on Weverse and IG. We are on the downslide for Jin. I can't wait for him to be back.
I think, not 100% sure, but I think after Korean men are discharged from the military they are automatically put in reserves. I didn't know that until the other day. So we may think they are scott-free when they are discharged but not really. Phooey.
💜💜💜
Just a quick thing for insight: Miley Cyrus said touring is hard for her because she felt her "ego" gets "overused" and that "it's hard to turn it off." She said "I think when you're training your ego every single night to be active, that's the hardest switch, for me, to turn off." Having every day the relationship between her and other humans to be basically 'subject' and 'observer' isn't healthy for her because it erases her humanity and her connection.
Just food for thought...
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crispy0nion · 2 months ago
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Spill the tea
with pleasure. btw this is gonna contain slight mentions of me being a depressed fuck a few years ago. also it's kinda long
ok so, about four years ago during my first year of hs, i met this guy in my class, he was a little shit but we instantly clicked. immediately became best friends, dude basically lived in my house lmao. we went on vacation together that summer, and we had a blast. literally one of the best summers of my life i had sm fun.
second year of hs starts, and suddenly he's not talking to me or any of our friends anymore. literally just ignores us and hangs out with some other guys from our class instead. weird asf, but he was being a real dick so me and my friends quickly dropped the thing and opted for mutual disinterest.
i have no idea how or why, but near the end of the year one of our friends managed to talk with him, and he completely switches up. now he's talking to everyone like nothing happened.
except for me.
he's not talking to me. actually he is actively ignoring my existence. "what an asshole" you'll say. "so did your friends say anything, maybe drop him for acting like that?" lmao. please.
this guy used to be a loser btw. scrawny little guy who would only talk about anime. then after this year of ignoring us, he had suddenly turned into this cool, unbothered guy who will destroy your self confidence in 0.5 seconds if he doesnt like your vibe, but he does so in a " i'm effortlessly funny" way. basically, he's infuriating if you're not his friend. which apparently i wasn't anymore??
so anyways, the point is he's got everyone bouncing on his dick. classmates swarm him like flies to a lamp. he's the coolest guy around, he's so funny. that includes my friends btw. so i spend the third year of highschool feeling like no one actually wanted me around, cause they had him. but i was clinically depressed and i knew that i couldn't handle any more drama, so i said nothing and tried acting like nothing happened, ngl it was pretty pathetic looking back 💀
the thing kinda peaks when we decide to go on a trip together during the summer. that was so shitty bro i wanted to walk in traffic i genuinely felt like they would be having i better time without me there.
but anyways, i survive that somehow. that was early in the summer, i use the rest of it to work of my mental health and by the time my fourth year starts i was doing much better. my friends also stopped being assholes lmao, i suspect they heard me when during the vacation i cried to my mom on the phone for two hours and they felt bad but uhm. regardless. dude was still pretending i didnt exist.
good for him ig. i decide i've been pathetic enough and just start ignoring him the same way he ignored me. the mutual ignoring goes great, i'm doing much better. near the end of the year me and my friends (The Guy wasn't there) get drunk as shit and i decide to bring up this issue. i get some feedback from my friends: one of them tried asking him what happened between us and he answered "go fuck yourself". cool. another person thinks he has a crush on me and is shit at managing it. fair guess but it's an asshole move. someone else says maybe i accidentally hurt him. also a good guess, but i didn't do anything, and if i did, i didn't do it on purpose and he should've said something. overall, we're all confused.
school year ends, we organize another trip. i'm stressed as fuck. then on the first evening, he asks if someone can put his powerbank in their bag cause he doesnt have one, and i offer mine since i was the only one with extra space.
and i guess i broke his brain, because now he's talking to me like the previous two years never happened. which is. wild.
but i decide to be nice and cool about it and go along with it. we're civil to eachother. dare i say he acts weirdly friendly sometimes, which was actually genuinely shocking for me. he literally split his food with me of his own volition. TWO TIMES. wtf???? i also dont get marginalized this time!! i had the best time of my life actually!! my bed almost caught fire but that's a completely different story.
so uhm. i spend the remaining month and a half of summer wondering if he's still gonna be like this when school starts? cause if i know one thing, it's that he might change his mind for no reason.
the answer is no btw. it's like the trip never happened. today was our fifth day and the only time we talked this entire week was when i asked him something about class and he answered LOOKING AT THE PERSON NEXT TO ME. AS IF THAT GUY HAD ASKED THE QUESTION AND NOT ME??
he and the rest of my friends (except for one who wasn't available) are hanging out rn btw. they went to the cinema. "why are you saying they and not us" cuz i didn't get a fucking invite lmao. we're back at the start babeyyyy im going to walk into the sea.
anyways that's the drama. i left out a LOT of details to avoid making a kilometric post but uhm. opinions? do y'all think he got dropped on his head as a child? cause i know i was but i'm not this much of a crazy asshole.
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kzlove · 1 year ago
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heaven to me
eren knows exactly what he wants.
warnings : ig weird relations (eren n ymir , historia n armin), carla is alive nd speaks spanish, you have two kids and one on the way, foul language, ymir and eren are in a famous band, eren calls you mama, not proofread
note : was listening to heaven to me by tyler the creator and immediately thought of eren, idk why
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when on vacation, eren wakes up at 9:45 on the dot.
he never knew why, he just knew he did.
by time he woke up, you were already out of bed and probably downstairs in the kitchen.
the room is spacious. a walk in closet, beautiful view of the backyard, a california king sized bed in the middle with a tv not too far from it.
not to mention the gorgeous bathroom attached to it.
it had a shower fit for two, a nice spacious bathtub with jets, and a warm toilet. two sinks built in the counter with a mirror lining it.
eren makes his way into the bathroom and brushes his teeth, before venturing through the house to find you.
when he does find you, you're in the kitchen like he assumed.
still clad in the pink pajama set he got you from skims specifically for this trip, looking through the fridge.
like you just rolled out of bed.
he'll come up behind you and wrap his arms around you, nuzzling his face into your neck.
"what are you doing, mama?" he questions with out missing a beat, pressing soft kisses to your jawline.
you'd hum in response, smiling at the sudden attention when he first wakes up.
"just looking for the strawberries." you mumble out, placing your own hands atop his.
eren nods in response, watching you pull the container of chocolate covered strawberries.
the two of you had made them the night before, hiding them so a certain set of people don't find them.
speaking of...
"good morning!" you both hear from the steps, followed by loud pattering that was quickly approaching.
eren let go of you, a hand lingering on your back for just a bit as he stood up tall.
two children pounced onto him, giggling and smiling bright up at their idol.
his children.
ayana and elias, both nearly spitting images of eren.
elias was the oldest, being five. ayana was almost three years old.
"hey, don't knock mama over!" eren laughed, letting his kids go to help balance you.
you watch the three of them with a smile, taking a bite of the strawberry in your hand.
"now. how about we to auntie's for breakfast? give mama a break hm?" eren suggested cheekily.
you laugh, already knowing what he was hinting at.
--
the four of you don't bother to change, just slide on some shoes and go to ymir's house.
of course, you make sure to bring a bag of changed clothes for when they want to go outside.
eren has the key to her vacation house, so he just opens the door and lets them in.
"good morning!" he calls at the bottom of the steps, almost immediately hearing his older sister groan in response.
not too long after, he finds himself helping in the kitchen with her.
she's making breakfast while they catch up on 'lost times' even if they'd just came back from tour together.
you're relaxed on the living room count with historia, your feet kicked up on the nearby stool.
the two of you talking about anything possible.
probably the college classes the two of you shared, since eren didn't want to hear about it.
he claimed that when on vacation, nothing else matters. but sometimes you can't help yourself.
the kids are playing with their cousin, little alma.
when breakfast rolls around, you all sit at the table and engage in conversations together.
the air was amazing, and the room was lively and full of love.
it felt nice to be surrounded by people that were so close to his heart.
--
once breakfast is finished, and everyone is ready to move on about their day, they take showers and get dressed.
you and eren are offered the guest room, while your kids use alma's.
you dress yourself in a simple white crop with long sleeves and a matching shirt, wearing these slippers eren insisted on putting on you.
eren put his sweat shorts on and a graphic tee to go with it, before stepping outside in the sun.
he made sure to take pictures of you and your kids as you dashed around.
elias was chasing you and ayana with a water gun that was laying around.
no matter how much you tried to dodge the water and your son, it was nearly impossible.
elias was fast, just like his father was.
the three of you continue to play alongside the pool, being careful as not to fall in.
it varied from monkey in the middle, to hide and seek, to red light green light, and more.
eren never missed the smile on your face as you played like a child again.
it had been hours, and the sun was beginning to go down.
eren stepped inside, seeing ymir and historia begin to make dinner.
armin had finally arrived, and was by the bar mixing a few drinks to share while arguing with his older sister.
he and historia were twins, armin being born 3 minutes later.
a surprise baby, armin called it.
a horrendous mistake, historia would insult.
eren and armin spoke for a while, sharing a drink while reminiscing with his best friend.
the conversation continued, until loud wind could be heard from outside.
a helicopter, it sounded like.
eren stepped outside, looking into the sky while the palm trees bent in the opposite direction.
a helicopter it was, and eren knew exactly who it was.
he began walking in that direction, and the minute he made it, he seen the special guest.
his mother.
"¡mira quién es!" carla immediately said, flashing her son a smile as he walked over.
she pulled him down into a tight hug, peppering kisses onto his cheeks with a grin.
leave it up to carla to arrive in a helicopter.
eren walks to the house with her, complimenting her stella dress that was most likely gifted from ymir.
they make it just in time for dinner, in which they enjoy outside so they could watch the sunset.
when dinner is said and done, eren helps ymir clean up the house since he and his family crashed it a bit.
finally, the night comes to an end.
carla stays the night, deciding to take the pool house.
armin hugs his sister goodnight and heads home, claiming the view is so much better at his own place.
lastly, eren gets you and the kids home to sleep.
but of course, you and eren don't find yourself sleeping, and end up taking a walk near the lake.
"are you enjoying yourself?" eren firstly asked, his hand intertwined with your own.
you nod, smiling as you watched the stars.
and it's all eren needs to hear to push himself forward, do better.
so he gets down on one knee, and practically begs you to marry him.
in response, you laugh heartily and hold your swollen belly. it never failed to make eren smile.
"eren, were you even listening?" you questioned, putting your hands on your hips teasingly.
"yeah, i was." eren chuckled, glancing down at the ring.
did he do too much? or too little? he couldn't read your expression.
but you began laughing again, leaning down just a bit while calming down.
you looked gorgeous, the sun beaming behind you.
"eren. wake up." you giggled, pressing a hand to his cheek and tapping lightly.
--
eren blinked, seeing you stand before him.
it was daytime, and the chatter around you two was loud.
"how'd you end up falling asleep?" you questioned, standing up to your full height.
"i.. don't know." eren sighed, smiling to himself as he stood up.
he had fallen asleep at his college, under the enormous tree that sat on campus.
and dreamed about you, and his family.
"well come on. we got history and i heard professor ackerman is gonna cover today." you said.
eren grabbed up his things and walked beside you, sighing in satisfaction.
it was comfortably silent between you two, holding your things while dodging other people.
eventually, eren took your hand as the crowd began to grow.
there was no way he was losing you in this big ass crowd of people before class.
"what do you think about three kids?" eren asked, looking at you from the corner of his eyes.
"boy, you must be outta your goddamn mind." you scoffed immediately, snatching your hand from him.
yeah, eren smiled, he had to put a ring on your finger.
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out-of-context-aro-ace · 2 years ago
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How would you describe platonic attraction? For reference I am aplatonic.
Thank you for the ask! Had to think a bit about this hehe
Till I did a bit of research about platonic attraction and the aplatonic identity, and thought about it, I wasn't sure if I was aplatonic too or not
For most of my life, I didn't have friends, didn't know how important friends were, and didn't know how to make friends
And of the people around me (read: classmates) they weren't my "type", so I didn't even imagine them as potential best friends
So I didn't really want to be friends with anyone irl in particular (except for 3 people ig but I didn't know how to go about that so we never became friends)
It was only when someone showed some kindness to me or someone else, or showed some interest in my interests, or I just thought they were cool, did I want to be friends with them, but didn't know how. I assumed the opposite gender one was a crush but thinking about romance icked me out so that was confusing
But even that isn't tried and true. Some people are kind but too loud and energetic for me so they don't unlock my platonic attraction. I can call them my friend to get my parents off my back and not make the "friend" feel bad. But I would rather be alone and we'll definitely never get to best friend level
I'd say platonic attraction is when you want to be friends with this one person and "get butterflies in your stomach" thinking about being friends some day
Maybe you like their energy or confidence. Maybe you like reading their fandom analyses. Maybe you love discussing a show with them even though you both have differing opinions, and your discussions are just playful banter of why X is better. Maybe you both joke around like you're fighting but it's over a very ridiculous or fictional thing.
And, because of that,
You want to give them book and show recommendations. You want to share a post or series you think they'd like. You found this perfect post of their fandom and you want to share it with them.
You're planning on what to get them as a birthday gift even though you don't know their birthday yet. You think you find the perfect gift or have the idea for one, but you don't wanna weird them out because you're not at that stage yet.
You can imagine the two of you being best friends, or best friends in that niche (i.e. Diff types of friends: an irl friend, a writeblr friend, an artblr friend, a fandom friend, etc)
I don't think I'm aplatonic anymore.
These are the feelings I have when I find someone I want to be friends with (not always all of them).
Sometimes, I want to be friends but they don't keep the convo going right so it stops right there. The platonic attraction dies out and then I don't mind if I become friends with them or not but I defo won't be able to give them the same amount of energy and effort.
Sometimes, I'll want to be friends with someone, or I'll already be friends with them, and I'll just be really excited to hang out with them. Each message of theirs puts a smile on my face and I can't wait to read it. I think that's platonic attraction.
You don't need to feel this way for everyone or all your friends, you can still be friends without experiencing platonic attraction, and, theoretically, you can not be aplatonic and still go life without finding anyone who you feel platonic attraction towards.
I know my irl platonic attraction is 0, except for those 3 people I mentioned above, but I haven't felt platonic attraction with irl people in years because no one's my type.
I'm using "type" because it's easier. What I mean is most people irl are too social/loud/overstimulating for me, don't share an interest with me, or don't match my energy or lack of it.
You could have your own standards. Or irl might not be the medium for you. Like, messages from my online friends can get overwhelming sometimes, but I can just go offline and/or reply later. I can find someone who shares an interest with me relatively easily, and sometimes they'll share my excitement in their replies and the friendship blossoms. Sometimes they don't and so I just stick to the questions I had for them and only message them when needed.
Theoretically, you could go your whole life without feeling platonic attraction because you just naturally make friends and/or don't have a reason to not be friends with everyone
I assume that if I was aplatonic, I wouldn't feel such strong feelings about being friends with people
TL;DR ig: imo platonic attraction is when just thinking about hanging out and being friends with the other person gets you excited and you actively want to try to be friends with them. But maybe you don't because you're shy or don't know how
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kamiversee · 8 months ago
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MY FACE IS BEET RED AT WORK HELPPPPPPPPP
Kami!!!! 🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝 THANK YOU 🤝🤝 THANK YOU 🤝 🤝THANK YOU 🤝 🤝 omfg the Choso girlies are eating GOOOOOOOOOOOD with this chapter 😭 omfg and that Gojo wet dream blurb was too fucking good aaaaaAAAAAAA i miss that blue eyed beauty every day 🤍🤍🤍 ok yeah pls consider a filthy noncanon poly ending i need these two to ruin the reader expeditiously
my mind is so hazy from reading everything. oh my god. Choso was such a menace in this chapter 🥹 this is definitely what we needed after looking at all those deleted scenes you had for him. art majors are always hidden freaks so this was just *chef's kiss*
"The man had you ruined as someone else once had you before." KAMI I JUST ABOUT DIED!!!! YOU KNOW HOW OBSESSED I AM WITH THE SUKUNA CHAPTERS AJHKAJHDASD AS SOON AS I READ THAT HER HEAD WAS BEING PUSHED INTO THE BED MY MIND IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF THEM 😭😭😭😭 every Choso fic/headcanon i've seen so far always makes him so subby not that i'm complaining but seeing this dominant and demeaning side of him was sooooo fucking good omg. that coupled with the cute aftercare seriously makes me contemplate on making this my favorite chapter 🥹
that part where you mentioned the night the reader first slept with him and how he had thoughts of doing other things with the keys... depending on how the sequel's going to go, i can't even imagine how some people are not going to let this go 😅 ALSO WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ALREADY SPOILED THE ALT ENDING??? i'm about to spend the remaining 7 hours at work scrolling and scheming omfg Kami pls
"You were his now, and he was yours. Nothing and no one would change that." this warmed my heart soooo much because i've had this weird anxiety that he'll eventually find out the details of the list. i just hope this statement will stay true!! maybe it's my paranoia but this also felt a bit ominous? idk i prob just need to renew my anxiety meds lmao
KAMI YOU COOKED FR
-☃️
Haha I love these sm, gimme kiss rn.
I do have the extra scene tht you & some others requested in mind so Ig I’m just curious if I should write both men dom with the reader or both subby with her since they’re both down terrible😭 Or even one dom & the other subby, IDK. But I am excited to write tht smut, TRUST.
It’s not an ending tho, just extra what if stuff !!
AND YES ART MAJORS ARE SECRETLY FREAKS !! Especially Choso bc like… look at him and tell me he’s not having horny thoughts abt his lover 24/7…
OH OH AND I HADDDD to reference Sukuna again, him and Choso do have their slight relation soooo I need to make a parallel or two ><
& as for Choso being dom… I once saw someone say how Choso would be the kinda’ guy to rage on video games based on how mad he gets in the anime & his facial expression… So like, with tht in mind for some reason I’ve just pictured Choso as the kind to only be subby when he’s still learning something in regards to sex or when he’s with someone knew & he’s just shy…
BUT ONCE THT MAN GETS COMFORTABLE? Oh yeah, its ONNN 😩🙏
Also, I didn’t explicitly say what’s gonna happen in the alt ending! I just kinda said what it’s gonna be… Like, y’know how a lot of chapters are ominous cliffhangers? Haha, imagine that but x10 ^.^
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