#as a sex-repulsed person

[weepingfireflies]

I'm actually not particularly fond of the romance/sex-favorable/neutral/repulsed division as, like, a permanent identity for me because somedays I'm frolicking in romance and smut & other days I want to explode the world if I see ppl even mention a ship at all. I think it's good for a lot of people, but it doesn't really work for me unless I'm feeling repulsed or neutral or favorable

Edit: Everyone who saw this that was wondering if there was a word for this: I've been informed about the term sex/romance-ambivalent. I suggest searching it up. Thank you to the people who mentioned it, but please stop trying to label me. Whether I decide to personally use it as a label is up to me.

[dreamerdrop]

Julian Bashir walks a very fine, maddening line between “self-loathing imposter syndrome who knows almost everyone who speaks to him for more than a minute finds him insufferable” and “incredibly self assured and annoyingly arrogant to the point of a minor god complex”.

He knows he’s attractive, he thinks he’s charming as all hell, he knows he’s the smartest person in the room (while also being acutely aware he’s going to put his foot in his mouth any second now), and he just swings wildly between “I don’t deserve anything I have, none of this is mine, my life is not my own, I am a monster” and “HELL YEAH LOOK HOW COOL AND SMART I AM GUYS ARE YOU LOOKING ARE YOU LOOKING”.

And then there’s episodes that reveal that underneath that annoying arrogance, at the very core of who he is, he really, really just wants to help people, and if he fucks that up he WILL take it personally and hold himself responsible even if there’s no way he could have known and like. Can you imagine what his first patient death was like for him. Can you imagine what a fucking nightmare his brain must be 24/7.

He is somehow as inherently self assured as he is in need of constant validation for his ego because you can SEE him break a little when that ego fails him, even a little, and it’s just.

He’s very fun to write. I hate him. (I love him so much, but oh my god.)

[redysetdare]

Oh no, you found a post where someone is saying they think sex/romance is gross! Whatever shall you do?

ignore it. literally ignore it. I'm 100% serious just fucking ignore it. it literally is not a personal attack on you. do not take it as a personal attack. scroll past it, hell block if you really need to, but you do not need to respond. it is not about you buddy - not everything is about you. close your eyes and move on buddy it's that easy. literally it is not systematically oppressing you for someone to say "Ew sex" or "Ew romance". just walk away pal.

[steakout-05]

y'know what. shoutout to all my fat asexuals and aromantics and anyone else under those spectrums out there. you don't need to be seen as desirable or attractive to be worthy of human decency, respect and love. you are allowed to not want to be seen in any way that makes you uncomfortable as well. you don't have to be hot or feel comfortable being the focus of attraction to belong here, you are exactly who you say you are and you don't have to be anything or anyone else. aroace fat people are just as important and deserving of support as everyone else in this community and if that isn't one of the many truths of the universe told by a baby elephant made of pure light then idk what is. shoutout to all fat aroaces you guys rock 💚💜🤍🩶🖤

[stardustedknuckles]

It's 2023 can we please figure out that asexuality isn't synonymous with sex repulsion already. Lack of attraction and lack of libido are not the same thing, aces can be "hell yes" about sex itself, and a lack of "hell yes" is not the same as active repulsion. I'm not a big movie watcher, but if someone I care about wants to share a movie with me I'll do it for them and very likely enjoy myself even if it doesn't turn me into someone who actively likes movies. It's not difficult.

[aro-bird]

Hey, hot tip: if an aspec person says that they don't want to do [romantic/sexual thing] because they're repulsed by it, or that they don't want to see [romantic/sexual thing] (even in fiction and/or fandom) because they're repulsed by it, and you as a fellow aspec decide to comment "Well, I'M [aspec identity here] and I like [romantic/sexual thing]!" You may just be an asshole.

By all means, do [romantic/sexual thing] and enjoy it as much as you like, it does not mean you aren't part of the community at all but for fucks sake leave repulsed people's personal posts alone

[lovelessrage]

Pro-kink advocacy goes hand in hand with aspec advocacy and if you don't understand this you need to start.

[aceislonely]

for a lot of ace people, the lack of interest in having sex is because of the lack of attraction we feel. i know there's a big emphasis on attraction =/= behaviour in ace spaces but let's not forget that often times the former does have a big influence on the latter. they're not separate for everyone

so here's to the aces for whom disinterest in sex is a significant part of their asexual identity <3 ily

[mossy-aro]

being aspec is weird sometimes because exploring my boundaries and (a)sexuality in my own way is such a personal and normal thing to do as you go through life but it feels like if you do something or experience something differently than aspec people are ‘supposed to’ it puts the validity of your whole identity in danger

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

"So pathetic," Billy says, grabbing Stu's hair and forcing his head up. "Can't even tell me what he wants. Pathetic."

Stu choked back a sob as more tears fell from his face. "I want you, Billy," he said hoarsely.

Billy snarled and shoved Stu to the ground. He crawled on top of the other man, pinning him down. "Yeah, you want me? Want me to what? Fuck you? Stab you? Kill you? I'll do all three if you beg nicely."

Stu nodded eagerly as Billy caressed his cheek. "Yes, god, Billy, yes."

Billy's face changed, softened even, and he rolled off of Stu, laying next to him.

"Billy?" Stu asked, the eagerness from before leaving his voice. He wiped his face, sensing something was off.

Billy closed his eyes. "I don't want to kill you." He reached over and took Stu's hand in his. "But the next time you annoy me, trust me, I will end you," he said jokingly.

Stu turned his head to look at him, smiling softly. "Good to know."

There was silence.

"So...no sex tonight?"

Billy shrugged. "No, I'm not really in the mood. I mean, if you want to, we can-"

Stu squeezed his hand. "Nope! You don't want to, so we're not going to. It has to be a yes both ways, and it's not right if we do it tonight."

Billy felt like a ton of rocks had been lifted off his chest. "Thanks, Stu."

Stu sat up and looked down at Billy. "Hannibal? I got a new copy because the old one scratched."

Billy nodded. "Hell yeah."

[freakcliff]

people are always asking things like "what are ace people spending all their time doing if not thinking about sex" and the answer is that i am in fact thinking about sex just intellectually. its a really fascinating topic tbh

[redysetdare]

Some of you will see a character that is actively repulsed by romance/sex and heavily non-partner coded (sometimes they even actively just say that they do not want a relationship!) and y'all will still respond with "But aros/aces can still date and have sex!!" like okay bud it'd be so much easier for you to say you don't respect repulsed and non-partnering aros and aces. stop beating around the bush trying to pretend to be oh so supportive when you obviously feel uncomfortable about our existence even in fiction.

[roses-are-repulsed]

Shout out to sex repulsed trans people who still want bottom surgery!! You deserve to make the changes that make you euphoric/comfortable without being questioned about it. Just because you won't "use it" sexually doesn't make your want of it any less valid. You don't need to use your genitals in a certain way to justify them. It's no ones business but your own anyways, dont let weirdos dictate your choices for your transition.

[thief-of-eggs]

Writing smut for an ace character is actually so interesting because you’re forced to rely on the emotional connection, the power dynamics, the intellectual connection. Like no, bro is not getting off from the sights or sounds or sensations- he’s not getting off at all. He’s mentally enjoying the show of trust, the vulnerability. He’s enjoying making his partner feel so good, he’s enjoying the rawness between them, with all the walls down, all the barriers broken.

Idk, I just think it’s neat.

[shortnsweetgf]

“you’re so hot” thanks it came free with being a lesbian

[arill-b-r]

I need some of you to understand that sex positivity isn't inherently anti-asexual and that asexual pride isn't inherently sex negative

There are a lot of nuances with what being asexual actually means but please remember that sex positivity can very much cohexist with the fact that not everyone likes or is interested in sex