#and totally forget about everything
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😌
#unfollowed and deleted conversation#want to start fresh#and totally forget about everything#I think falling for a tumblr guy is the worst thing I could do#I should have known from before#my stupid rosie feelings#i think it’s just me being emotional and moody and sober#but I don’t think I’ve ever disliked someone so much#I wish you all the best cause that’s just the type of person I am#but I also hope you step on a Lego and stub your toe every single day of your life#😌✌️#shut up rosie
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IDK WHO HANDSHAKE IS.. Frye won!!!!! In Japan!!!!! OBANYAKI LET'S GOOOO💛💛💛
#totally didn't forget to post it here#WE COULD'VE HAD IT.. stupid tricolor mirrors smh#SHE WON ANYWAYS OKAYY doodle wasnt meant to be for this region but alright💥💥#Taking back everything Ive ever said about Japan✌️#splatoon 3#splatfest#splatoon#leyko drawz
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the kind of chemistry these two have is very entertaining
#again. relistening to the black sea arc and these two were so fun from the very beginning. i love their conversations and bickering hehehe#that's the problem i have with watching something in ongoing. i forget literally everything that happens in the previous episode#i need to take notes or something i don't know....#because chip and igneous had a lot of fun moments that i totally forgot about and i was so confused when chip proposed to him#bc to me it felt 'out of nowhere'. they still do only know each other for 2 days so that point stands. but they're not complete strangers#jrwi riptide#jrwi chip#jrwi igneous#jrwi flint and steel#my art#sketch#also igneous is👏big👏#grizzly said he was around 6ft and in my mind it immediately translates to 'a lot bigger than 6ft'
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something something "Why on earth would you believe that [I hated your violin playing]?" "Because you said literally said that to me once, dad!" something something children remember the fucked up things their parents do or say like major historic events, while parents forget them like average tuesdays...or something
#ted lasso wednesdays#could actually say People (not just kids) remember the fucked up things said/done to them but the doers forget like it was no biggie#anyway i'm being totally normal about it all. totally normal about ted lasso and totally normal about everything#(i am not being normal about one single thing)#ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#ted lasso season 3#ted lasso 3x10#nate shelley#nathan shelley#beloved wonder kid#sweet little grey haired man. so happy to watch our beloved wonder kid finally say so many things he has needed to say for so long
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What would you choose? :0c
(note: original image is from HERE (link) - but I edited it to add a wider variety of options.. also added $3 extra to the total, even though I know that makes it more uneven lol, I thought if you're adding 10 whole extra items, the money to spend should at least be increased slightly, if that makes sense..)
#I would get orange juice. black coffee. AND iced coffee ($3) because I love the variety of having multiple drinks#then sausage and scrambled eggs ($8). Then sauteed mushrooms ($3)....AND... hrm.. then spending the remaining $4 would be hard#I wish I could get waffles (as they are my favorite and are superior in every way compared to pancakes. donuts. etc.) but I'm not willing#to give up the other savory things just to get them. so... then maybe I could get a biscuit or english muffin? and just put jam or#honey butter or something on it so it can be my replacement 'sweet and bready' thing instead of something from the $5 row??#OR I could also just assume that having the orange juice plus iced coffee would provide enough of a 'sweet element' to the meal#(since I largely prefer savory foods. I only like a tiny bit of sweet added for variety) and thus forego any sort of#'bready' thing entirely and just get the bowl of beans/onion/tomato (I'd leave the avocado since I don't like the#texture of them really lol). THEN I'd have $1 left to get the milk or the black tea... increasing my total of random drinks..#which is always the goal of course.. as a chronic ''person who is sipping at 5 different drinks at their desk simultaneously always'' perso#OR... I could just do.. waffle. scrambled eggs. sausage. mushrooms. and black coffee and orange juice.. which is... okay variety#augh... so difficult.. As my Ideal Breakfast is like a buffet type thing or something where you have like 25 different things to choose fro#and can get a little tiny bit of everything. My eating style is very much like.. I'd rather pick at a small amount of a ton of#different things than just have a very large amount of only one or two things. Thats why I LOVE sample platter type stuff.#So it's like... augh... the ideal option would be a tiny portion of EVERYTHING actually lol...#Difficult to choose...#ANYWAY.. Also no idea why I added croissant instead of bagel. I only thought about that afterwards. I do actually like bagels.#I've only ever even had a croissant like 2 times in my entire life. Yet I've had many bagels. For some reason it stuck out in my mind more#when I was considering 'essential breakfast foods' somehow... how could I forget them... bagels my beloved...#Blame it on the hot weather... 'What in the blazes? The sun hath obliterated the concept of bagels from my miind!'#(< meant to be said in a silly overdramatic elderly wizard accent or something)#Also I don't think ''bowl of beans. onion. avocado. and tomatos.'' is necessarily a breakfast classic or something gbhjjh#but I was just trying to think of a versatile vegetable-ish side that could be full of common breakfast additions#so people could do stuff like ''oh I get the toast option and then the bowl of stuff and I put the avocado on the toast'' etc.#Like a mix and match. You could mix ingredients from different parts. You could put scrambled eggs and bacon and onion#on the bread or soemthing. etc. I just feel like something is always missing if a Full Breakfast Spread#doesnt have some sort of onions or beans or mushrooms or asparagus or spinach like... some sort of thing that isn't just eggs and meat and#bread.. you know? lol..#But then again.. I am the Sampling Plate Style Variety Lover and Tiny Portion Of Food Picker so maybe thats just a me thing.
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click for better quality!
are you gonna start climbing, or what? / needletail
#my art#do not copy trace or steal#needletail#wc#waca#warrior cats#wc art#uhhhh I DO THIS EVERY TIME i forget what my normal tags are#if i said ive been working on this all day please dont take me literally . ive been working on it off and on all day i probably spent like#3ish hours total on this thing#LITERALLY RIGHT AS I STARTED THIS ONE OF THE TREES OUTSIDE. HALF OF IT BROKE AND FELL LMFAO everything + everyone is alright dwdw#i just needed to stare at it for a while . and there was also a butterfly i brought inside and fed hummingbird feed to with a cotton swab#this is a request from twidder :-] my account is private bc im weird about twitter but if mutuals can ask for my user they can ^_^#THIS IS A NEW COLORING METHOD if it looks weird pls tell me and i will go about it differently bc its still experimental#scratching my chin OH YEAH i repotted almost all of my plants yesterday i have like four more left to go#if this is out of character for her also please let me know i have not read avos . or anything beyond that x_x
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I don't know if anyone's gone through the original Dawn War pantheon* and compared the events of the Dawn War to the events of the Calamity, but it's interesting comparing how Tharizdun acts in the Dawn War to how little we know about it as the Chained Oblivion and might be useful as a theory-crafting aid for how the Chained Oblivion fits with Predathos**.
In the Dawn War, Tharizdun was a normal god, driven mad by extradimensional demons who provided him with huge amounts of power and attempted to force him to open a portal in the Astral Plane to release them. He took this power, and instead of releasing them created the Abyss. He and his would-be masters fought to a stalemate over control of the Abyss, until the rest of the pantheon found out and sealed him away, leaving him chained to a remote part of the Abyss[1].
By contrast, the Chained Oblivion is "something other entirely"[2], "less like a god and more like another world"[3]; it's been categorised as not of the Primes or Betrayers[4], and generally Matt has leaned much more into the cosmic horror vibes (sans a connection to the Far Realm) of the Chained Oblivion. It's a creature of "roiling ink and hungry darkness"[5], and was sealed at the bottom of the Abyss by the Dawnfather and the Knowing Mistress, with support from the Allhammer and the Changebringer[2, 3, 6]. The Chained Oblivion also wants to consume all and end the world and is kept at arms length by the Betrayers[5], and as a result of that plus its association with an unknowable hunger some people have now associated it with Predathos or think it and Predathos are of a similar species.
I think the Chained Oblivion is not Predathos in another form, but I do think that it's of a similar species. Looking at the Dawn War, and assuming (with the full acknowledgement that I'll more than likely be wrong) that Matt will stick as closely to the Dawn War as he has in the past, I think the Chained Oblivion is a smaller and weaker being of nothingness that decided to forge its own path instead of following Predathos' lead. My gut instinct is that the Chained Oblivion, seeing Ethedok and Vordo get eaten, took up Ethedok's mantle of darkness[7]*** and avoided working with Predathos and porentially fought the God Eater in order to survive and work its own odd plans of destruction. The Chained Oblivion makes a lot of plans to try and free itself (see the Angel of Irons or Cognouza), so I wouldn't be surprised if its propensity towards planning was present from the very moment it set foot on Exandria. Does this mean the Chained Oblivion will be let loose to fight the God Eater if Predathos is released? I doubt it, considering that it nearly killed the Knowing Mistress. And we know how the gods feel about family.
Footnotes
*The Dawn War pantheon is the slimmed down pantheon used for 4th edition D&D; can be found on page 11 of the 5th edition Dungeon Master's Guide. Used by Matt for the Primes & Betrayers with the addition of Sarenrae from Pathfinder.
**I'm aware of the pitfalls of using existing narratives and non-Exandrian lore to try and predict what's going on in CR at this moment in time; while there's not a 1:1 overlap between other D&D worlds' lore and Exandria, some of the major relationships do stay the same. For example, Pelor, Ioun and Tharizdun are all linked in Exandria and in D&D "canon" (Pelor, Ioun and Tharizdun all looked into the Far Realm and saw mysterious secrets, secrets which drove Tharizdun to want to destroy the universe as per Gates of Madness (2010). Additionally, Tharizdun is deeply associated with the Abyss across both settings). Bear with me.
***Zehir, the Cloaked Serpent is also associated with darkness; however while the Lawbearer and the Platinum Dragon are associated with order there is no explicit god of order which was Vordo's other domain. The Chained Oblivion is explicitly described as a god of darkness in both the Explorer's Guide to Wildemount (page 27) and the Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn (page 34).
References
1. Demonomicon (2010), pages 7-9. The wording of how the sealing took place is intentionally vague as it's a plot hook for DMs to expand on in their campaigns.
2. Titles and Tattoos, CR Campaign 2, Episode 84, from 14:00.
3. Explorer's Guide to Wildemount (2020), page 27.
4. Matt's Discord post during Nick Marini's AMA (linked here).
5. Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn, page 36.
6. The Endless Atheneum, CR Campaign 1, Episode 106, from 1:08:16.
7. Axiom Shaken, CR Campaign 3, Episode 43, at 3:02:19.
#cr meta#critical role#cr3#had to wait till the latest episode was out in case there was a big god lore drop#but we're all good. anyway enjoy this maddening (referenced!) thing i decided to do#i know using other d&d settings' lore is not great practice! but idk something about the dawn war scratched a particular itch in my brain#there's something there with predathos and tharizdun and then seeing how matt has paralleled the dawn war (which itself draws on fantasy an#mythological tropes of “wars in heaven” or wars against titans because everything draws on everything)#but i don't know. there's something there with a would-be servant rebelling against its creator and then going onto want total destruction#the demons that provided tharizdun with the power to create the abyss are called obyriths if you're wondering btw#go back to older editions for campaign inspiration there's all kinds of crazy stuff there highly recommend#also before i forget shoutout to encyclopedia exandria without whom i would not have been able to put a lot of this together
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Reasons to watch hit anime Psycho-Pass if you're a Bungou Stray Dogs enthusiast:
Detectives
Very cool discussions on morals
The protagonist is voiced by Lucy's va, and she's fabulous. (No I'm not kidding. one of the best written female characters I've ever seen if I can speak on the matter.)
You know the whole stray dogs symbolism that is everywhere in bsd? Well pp has that with hunting dogs
Characters will be quoting irl authors every two scenes so there's that
Gay people no queerbait!! Like actual gay people™ being gay™!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And in love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know how bsd has this kind of very annoying character who makes his coworkers lives miserable that is kind of fun to watch but you'd hate to meet irl? There's a character like that in pp too and she's a woman so I count it as a win
Complex and elaborate characters!!!! Human characters!!!! Characters that question their beliefs!!!!
A character that kinda looks like Tanizaki and a character that kinda looks like Poe
Also I'm aware there's a venn diagram of people who like bsd and ynm so you'll be delighted to find out the first season manga adaptation is illustrated by the same artist of the ynm manga
Don't watch the third season it's not worth it
#Yes this is propaganda#bsd#bungou stray dogs#mine#Btw Dazai's va is there too but for like.#three lines in total you'd have to wait three seasons and four movies to hear so it's probably not worth it lmao#Kagari's va also voices Dostoyevsky which is like. insane and I want to forget about it immediately#But everything else **is** worth it please watch p/p and then talk with me about it!!!!#But do look into its tw before#The gay people thing for real though. man. you see the last season and fifth movie aren't really worth watching#but that one First Inspector scene. man.#One last note I don't take Mika Shimotsuki slander here. This is a Mika Shimotsuki safe zone
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DOCTOBER '24 ⸺ 「 1 / 31 * RED-LETTER DATE 」
“Hey Doc? I wanna ask you something.”
Emmett doesn’t pop his head through the doorway to acknowledge his friend, too focused on topping off one of the mugs of hot chocolate with a generous helping of marshmallows, but he does shout, “Of course, Marty,” into the air. “You know you don’t have to ask. Let me bring Verne his cup and then you’ll have my undivided attention.”
Marty makes a vague noise that many years of friendship has taught Emmett means sure thing, Doc, and it takes him barely three minutes to drop off the hot chocolate to Verne, who smiled like it was Christmas morning when he saw the mountain of marshmallows floating at the top, and join Marty in the living room, carrying the tray with their own drinks. He passes one of them off to Marty who accepts with a smile and a nod and then takes a seat opposite him, fixing him with an expectant look.
“So, what did you want to ask me?”
Marty’s eyes immediately drift to the shelf, where Emmett and Clara’s small assortment of family photos sit, arranged in elegant wooden frames. In the centre is a black and white photo that has started to yellow around the edges, looking paradoxically fragile and yet able to withstand even the most rigorous tests of time, holding onto that frozen memory for all eternity. Emmett turns his head to follow Marty’s attention, his eyes alighting on the single photo he expects will be the topic of their conversation.
Ah. Out of all of them, there is only one Marty was never able to be present for.
For once, Emmett manages to look perfectly natural in a photograph, even dressed to the nines in a sharp suit. His smile stretches from ear-to-ear, making him look at least ten years younger, and though his face is angled away from the camera, his eyes are bright and alive, brimming with love and warmth. Marty could even imagine the photographer trying to get Emmett’s attention, demanding he look at him for the photo, only for every single word to go in one ear and straight out the other when Clara was standing beside him, smiling, the picture of radiance as she regards her husband with the same fond warmth. Her wedding dress was no more intricate than any of the outfits Marty had seen her wear during his few days in the Nineteenth Century, yet it seemed to be made for her and her alone, perfectly tailored and somehow able to put even the outfits of royalty to shame.
If Clara was the sun, Emmett was the moon that revolved around her. In that single moment, forever frozen in time, they were the only two people on Earth.
“I had been wanting to ask for a while, but–”
“No, no, of course. You didn’t get the chance to see it, and I’m sorry for that, so I’d be happy to fill you in on the details.”
Marty curls his fingers around the warm mug, shuffling somewhat in his seat, and Emmett waits patiently, noting each one of Marty’s nervous habits as they arise. There are a hundred and one things Marty wants to say, Emmett can see them written across his body, written into every small movement, and, equal and opposite, there are a thousand things Emmett wants to say in return, things he makes an effort to hold back until Marty speaks first.
“I’m happy for you two, Doc–really, I am. Clara’s–well, Clara’s amazing. And I’ve never seen you so happy before. I was afraid that–” Marty shakes his head, his eyes focused on the photographs. “When I first saw the picture, I was…” He forces a laugh, but there’s no humour in it and Emmett would know that self-depreciatory tone anywhere.
“It’s stupid, I know. I didn’t realise it at first, but I was jealous. Can you believe that, Doc? My best friend is happy, he’s got a family for Christ’s sake, and I was too busy at first being afraid that now you’re–you’re just gonna forget me because you’ve got Clara and the boys and the house and there wouldn’t be a place for me.”
Emmett’s eyes widen despite knowing the blow was coming and before he can open his mouth, allow the words that have been building up on his tongue to break free, Marty shakes his head and continues, reinforcing the wall and keeping the words at bay just a little longer.
“I know what you’re gonna say, Doc. I already said I know it’s stupid but I couldn’t help feeling that way. And I should have asked you about your wedding and everything a lot longer ago but I-I just couldn’t. And that’s fucking stupid, right? I want to know because I couldn’t be there for you and you’ve always been there for me.”
Marty’s words are a blade driven straight through his chest, each word twisting that razor-sharp blade a little more. He can’t help the pang of guilt he feels echoing in his ribcage, scraping against the bars of a prison he will not allow it to escape from, not now. This conversation was a long time coming–he’d almost expected it sooner rather than later, but he knew better than to push, knowing Marty would open up when he was ready–but no amount of anticipation could have prepared him for the blow that hearing it put to words would strike.
The Time Machine’s destruction had not been an accident. Everything had been carefully orchestrated to prevent any further corruption of the timestream, to spare himself the temptation–the broken heart–of trying to go back against all rational, scientific thought.
Ultimately, Marty couldn’t stay in the Nineteenth Century, not if he wanted to live a normal life, not if he wanted to be happy. And he couldn’t allow Marty to become another unsolved disappearance, leaving the McFlys to wonder and agonise over their youngest son who vanished from the face of the Earth without a trace.
Emmett may not have planned to stay, but even he couldn’t predict Clara’s intervention.
Life had to go on, even under extreme or difficult circumstances. There was only one choice available, then.
Still, Emmett doesn’t hesitate.
“Marty, I could never forget you. Whether we’re in the same time period or separated across the timestream, you will always be my best friend. And I will never stop caring about you. I know things have been busy lately, both for you and for me, what with your college courses and the boys’ schooling and Clara’s acclimation to the Twentieth Century and making the necessary repairs on the house–” Emmett stops himself before he runs off the entire list of seemingly infinitely-growing projects on his list.
“The point is, nothing is going to change that. And I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel neglected or unwanted at any point, because that couldn’t be further from the truth.”
Marty nods, finally pulling his eyes away from the photo to take a good long look at his best friend.
“I know, Doc. God, I know. You must think I’m an asshole.”
“You’re not an asshole. Far from it.”
Marty actually smiles at that, swirling his hot chocolate carefully in the cup. “So… You’ll still tell me about your wedding day?”
“Of course I will, Marty.” Emmett pauses for a moment, a thoughtful expression working its way over his face. Then, he smiles, almost conspiratorially as he recalls something of particular note. “The minister certainly wasn’t pleased when we changed until death do us part to something a little more fitting–until the end of time—”
@bttfdoctober
#back to the future#bttf#bttfdoctober#doctober 2024#LET'S GOOOO#SO. i've got a lot of thoughts about well everything but#i definitely think that while marty loves clara and the boys of course he couldn't help but be wary of them at first#feel jealous. think he was being replaced because now he wasn't the most important thing to doc#he's got the boys and a beautiful wife - why would he need/want marty along?#and there was definitely some jealousy and even low-key resentment/hostility at first which clara most certainly noticed#marty feels terrible about that but he couldn't help it. and neither doc nor clara reproach him for it because he's not wrong to feel as su#and though life gets busy doc could never forget marty but it's easy to forget that for marty - especially in the wake of all that's happen#and i think marty deeply regrets / perhaps even resents the fact that he didn't get to attend doc's wedding#one of the most important days of his best friend's life and he missed it#and missed ten years of doc's life too - separated by the once again impassable barrier of time.#it's a lot. it's complex and messy and all that#marty does want to know about the wedding - absolutely - but there's still so much they have to talk about#and this got so fucking long. 1200+ words and they all suck fjlk;asd;jf#BUT IT'S WRITTEN AND OH WELL.#i'll get back into the swing of it later#i have many many thoughts about the doc/clara wedding too ugh#clara looked absolutely beautiful and you can't convince me otherwise. she was the only one at that ceremony for doc and you know it#also this was supposed to go in a totally different direction yet somehow we ended up here. whoops! i strike again.
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Re-watching kinnporsche and bruh Vegas and Kim are playing chess while everyone else is playing strip poker like these guys are strategizing and scheming and everyone else is just getting naked
#kinnporsche#vegas theerapanyakul#kim theerapanyakul#like honestly if I was Vegas I’d be salty af about kinn too#like shit dude your dad is genuinely the definition of a villain#I’m getting my ass handed to me constantly for fuck knows why#my dad is a total fucking loser#I only get to fuck your sloppy seconds#and your brother and I are the only people that are playing the long game#ALSO!!! and this cannot be overstated#VEGAS IS THE FINEST MF IN THIS ENTIRE FAMILY#THE HOTTEST THE SMARTEST THE MOST OVERBURDENED WITH BULLSHIT#I say this with my whole chest#Justice for Vegas#let he and Kim not be surrounded by fucking losers for 2 mins#and I guarantee everything would be resolved and shit would be running like a well oiled machine#perhaps controversial but Vegas and Kim are the heirs we deserve haha#like kinn is fine#but I will never forgive him for forgetting my Pete 🥲#while you’re gettin down my man was suffering lmao#like you’re having a great time getting sloppy toppy while my poor baby Pete is having his balls nearly electrocuted off#and I know it was my boi Vegas doing the electrocution#but if Pete can forgive him so can I#holy shit these tags#anyway in this essay I will 😂
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okay i would like to rant right now but i struggle to get my thoughts in order so it might be messy. ok? anyway
FOREVER will be kinda mad about this change. to be honest
the original scene reads like suchh a terrifying revelation for Reigen because despite knowing how powerful Mob was he never really found a reason to fear him -- to Reigen, his powers were mostly "under control (thanks in part to him)." that single page alone gives you basically all the information you need to understand that Reigen is suddenly realizing that he is faced with a side of Mob he has never seen before -- one without limits and also one who seems to harbour some contempt for him (for imposing them). and not only that, he is WEAK and VULNERABLE in comparison because the power he usually uses to protect himself is currently turned against him. LOOK HOW SCARED HE IS!!!
BUT even despite his fear and powerlessness he is still determined to try and reach out to Mob so they can talk things through
and i LOVE the "maybe worrying is fine, too... it's only natural" panel because it reinforces that same realization through its framing. they were both scared of mob's power in that moment but they faced and accepted it anyway, just as they both held contempt for the "other side" of Reigen and faced/accepted it as well. but it was like. IT WAS SCARY!!!!! physically and also interpersonally things very well could have gone TERRIBLY and that was SCARY!
AND IN THE ANIME ITS JUST. ITS LIKE. it feels triumphant. which is cool, i guess, but also it lacks the feelings of Deep Fear but Acceptance that made the original so impactful to meee. in the anime, he doesnt feel vulnerable, he feels empowered (which, personally, kind of takes away from the whole thing? a little) He is Reigen: facing something head on like he always does because he doesn't leave much room for doubt in his abilities to turn things in his favour. He is NOT: Reigen, doubtful and scared that things wont turn out well because he has no security in this situation due to his lack of control/knowledge about it, but choosing to face that anyway instead of running away (cuz he has the responsibility to right his wrongs and also he really cares about mob)
does that makes sense
#THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE LONG#i love the anime i really really do but i WILL never stop complaining about some of its choices ok...#dgheh#mp100 text#mp100#sorry if i like totally misread everything ever by the way#i can see why they did it that way even#but i wont like it#i tried with the image descriptions btw!!! i am not good at them and i always forget..#tw suicide#(<- implied)#me talking
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Shepherd and Brutus are so everything to me. Two brothers in a shitty situation (Legion). Brutus sucks up to the commanders, to Caesar, to anyone for an OUNCE of power he can use to protect Shepherd- but he doesn't tell his brother WHY he's kissing ass. As a result Shepherd resents him for it- thinks he's pathetic and power hungry and he's forgetting everything the Legion did to their tribe for a bit more power.
If Brutus wasn't emotionally repressed and so violently protective just TALKED to his younger brother there would be no problems.
And then one of them dies at Hoover dam(which one depends on the playthrough as Shep is my independent courier, and Brutus my legion one) and the other has to deal with all this left over loss on resentment on their own.
#after Shep gets shot in the head he forgets EVERYTHING a total blank slate#and has to peice together everything about his past by going to the Legion after getting the mark. it makes him sick#he leaves once hes learned more than he can bare and Caesar lies dead#Brutus on the other hand remembers SOME stuff and is dealing with a lot of guilt at letting his brother down#all Brutus wants is something to project#he doesnt like the legion but throws his whole being into protecting Caesar because without Caesar their isnt a legion#and without the Legion Brutus has NOTHING to ditract him from his failures and loss#oc: Shepherd#oc: Brutus#character yapping
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knowing now that i have hyperfixations and special interests is very helpful and nice to know, BUT it raises the question “what am i” even more, and i need to shift to a reality immediately where somebody can tell me what the actual fuck i am other than just a silly little guy
#cosmoposts#marsposts#newtposts#i’ve already posted a couple of posts like this but i can’t get over it#also the imposter syndrome is starting#what if i’m faking#what if i don’t actually think about this one single thing for hours on end and do intense research on it#and it doesn’t actually make me feel stressed and anxious and happy all at the same time#and it doesn’t actually make me forget to eat use the bathroom and hydrate#and it doesn’t actually make me forget about my surroundings and everything else other than it#and it doesn’t actually make me not be able to think about anything other than it and doesn’t make me have difficulties talking about stuff#other than it and make me feel like a total asshole for it and also super annoying for it#what if i’ve just CONVINCED MYSELF OF THAT :O#reality shifting#shifting community#shiftblr#reality shifting community#shifting realities#reality shifter#shifter#reality shift#shifting consciousness#shifting antis dni#shifting blog#shifting motivation#shifters#shifting reality#shifting thoughts#shifting#reality shifting diary
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I was gonna say before the milestone caught me off guard that I might be posting an update to the second noco collab tomorrow. Or the 4th. Just so we’re aware I haven’t forgotten
#I never forget#about my total drama creations. I forget everything else#anyway there’s still stuff I need to finish and polish but for the most part it’s good to go#I’ll go more into detail when I make the update post#total drama#noco#noco collab saga#lights camera noco#Starry speaks
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🤦🏽♀️
#not over how he called me shallow?#called ME shallow#sorry excuse me#I genuinely can’t believe I ever had feelings for that dude#blocked on everything#and dead to me until I totally forget about them#can’t fucking believe it dude#this whole situation is exactly why I’m so scared to connect with anyone over tumblr#especially guys#tumblr guys 🙃#(don’t get me wrong I have a handful of good guys)#but man oh mann#all of the horror stories you hear from all the other tumblr girlies how they got fucked over by one or multiple tumblr guys#shut up rosie#there’s so many more things I wanted to say back to him#but instead of hurting myself more I just blocked him#once he called me shallow that was it that was the final line#bye ✌️
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I'm sure other queer people will relate, but I always get apprehensive around The Talk (as in, non-queer people talking about queerness in the abstract), and that's the topic my shul decided to land on today during lunch. And I feel so fortunate to have found them first because they were talking about a previous member and how they want him to visit and they want his boyfriend to visit so they can all scramble to feed and welcome him. I'm imagining a hoard of people just shoveling food at this member and his boyfriend if (and hopefully when) they decide to visit 😭
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#shul shenanigans#personal thoughts tag#no matter who it is talking about queerness i always hold my breath and i'm sure it's obvious why#my previous church wasn't homophobic really at all which i feel fortunate for but i WAS exposed to the sect of homophobic xtianity a lot#and i know jewish thought about queerness is: 1. not monolithic and 2. not the same as xtianity#but i feel beyond grateful that g-d has given me the chance to find this shul. it's literally everything i've dreamt of in a shul#literally the ONLY issue is that we are so small as to have problems with budget#i need to remember to withdraw some money to donate... i always forget#i also feel grateful because i'm a heavily pierced person and i always forget that i look VERY alt to 'normal' people#i've been slowly realizing that maybe the entire world doesn't see me as normal the way i do#because to me i do NOT look alt whatsoever. but having more than like two facial piercings (i have Way more) is very not normal apparently#i think that's partially why one of the families at my shul seemed... apprehensive about me? which was funny because...#...i don't notice i'm a pierced person anymore. to me my piercings are literally another body part#and also one of the members said he's totally fine with the Queer Thing seeing as his son is trans and he's gotten used to it#girl (not specific to gender) that's a bombshell to drop 😭
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