#and this turned into a Thing

[antivanruffles]

💜Kanej with a side of Wysper

💜 surprise kiss / impulsive kiss (huehuehue)

________________________________

It would be a lie to say he hadn't thought of it. He had, on multiple occasions, in multiple iterations. He might even admit to that, too, if he were asked outright by certain people. Or person, rather.

The truth was that the thought was never far from his mind.

Kaz would wake up and think about kissing Inej. He would go over reports and pieces of intel and think about kissing Inej. He would meet with his crew, his employees, other bosses of The Barrel, and he would think about kissing Inej.

In his mind it was appealing, something he practically yearned for, if he were being honest. Although he might not admit to it, no matter who it was that was asking.

In reality it was... daunting.

Kaz had never wanted these types of things before, and yet here he was, pining away like a silly school girl and too damaged to do anything about it.

It was at times like this Kaz was truly jealous of Jesper; who was always so easy and free with his affection. Who could--and would--happily fawn over Wylan, professing and displaying his love. Jesper never worried about holding Wylan's hand, or offering up a comforting hug. And Jesper certainly never worried about kissing Wylan. It was easy for them.

For Kaz and Inej it was more... difficult.

That didn't stop him from thinking about it though. Eventually he would have to do more than think, however.

He was at the Van Eck estate one evening, pretending to ignore Jesper and Wylan as they played footsie under the dinner table, when Kaz realized he'd had quite enough of pining.

Across the table Jesper, quick as you like, grabbed Wylan's hand and pressed a kiss to the back of his hand. It was a simple gesture, and rather innocent, but it gave Kaz an idea. And that was all he needed to form a plan.

***

It was a week later when The Wraith sailed into the harbor, taking its spot in berth twenty-two, and Kaz went to greet its captain. Kaz would never say he rushed to fifth harbor, he merely went there with the utmost efficiency. 

The dawn had barely broken when he arrived, and the crew was already in the process of unloading the ship and preparing it for some much needed maintenance, the dock a flurry of action. Even so it was easy enough to spot Inej in the chaos and barking orders, her long braid streaming behind her in the salty breeze, her shoulders back and feet braced as she adjusted to being on dry land once again.

The early morning sun glinted off her until she looked like she was gilded in gold; a saintly statue come to life.

"Inej," he called and if he sounded a little breathless, well, nothing for it now.

She turned and started moving toward him in one fluid motion, her face lighting up with a smile as soon as she saw him. And not for the first time Kaz wondered what he had done in his twice damned life to have earned her affection.

Regardless, he would not be ungrateful. Kaz Brekker knew a treasure when he saw one, and Inej Ghafa was the most precious of treasures.

"You came," she said as she stopped before him. If she sounded a little breathless, he wasn't going to say anything.

"I said I would." At her last visit he had all but promised to always greet her at the docks when she arrived, after she commented on how much she looked forward to it.

"I know, but we're a day early."

"And you could be a week early or a week late, I would still come," he vowed. 

Inej didn't say anything, just beamed at him instead. They stood there for a long while, her crew working diligently behind them as the sun slowly rose on the horizon and the world started to come to life around them.

Eventually Kaz back to himself and remembered his plan. He stepped a little closer to Inej, enough to hear her slight intake of breath at his proximity. 

"I had a thought," he said. "If I may try something?"

"Of course." She nodded, tilting her head back to look up at him, eyes curious and full of trust. 

This was a game they had played many times before, learning what was permitted, what wasn't, and what might need to be revisited again later. Kaz lifted his bare hand slowly, his gloves tucked away in his pocket, as they always were when he welcomed her to Ketterdam and when he saw her off.

Inej watched as he moved it slowly toward her face. He paused, and she met his gaze. Kaz lifted his brows in question. Inej looked torn between amusement and bewilderment, but nodded nonetheless. Permission granted he gently laid his hand over her mouth, almost as if he were trying to shush her. Her eyes were amused and he could feel her lips twitching.

Kaz was happy to learn that this type of contact wasn't a problem.

Then, before he could lose his nerve, he ducked his head toward hers. His hand acted as a barrier, stopping any contact between their lips, but the motion was the same. The intent, he hoped, was clear.

They were so close that Kaz could see each individual eyelash framing her eyes, could count them if he were so inclined. Instead he watched as her eyes widened in surprise, and then softened considerably once she realized what he was doing.

After a moment she pressed a matching kiss against the palm of his hand.

Kaz felt his breath hitch, and pulled back slowly. He dropped his hand from her mouth, fingers opening and closing against the tingling of his palm. Inej was simply grinning at him.

He cleared his throat, and tried to ignore the fact that his cheeks felt overly warm.

"Welcome home, Inej," he said at length.

"It's good to be home." She stuck out her hand, offering it to him. He obliged her, lacing their fingers together before Inej started to tug him up the dock by their joined hands.

They would go find breakfast, and discuss whatever news she brought from the sea. They would trade information and secrets, as was their routine when she returned to Ketterdam, and Kaz would think about kissing her--as he always did.

Only now he would follow through on the thought, and next time... maybe next time they wouldn't need the barrier. 

[bitchfitch]

writing advice for characters with a missing eye: dear God does losing an eyes function fuck up your neck. Ever since mine crapped out I've been slowly and unconsciously shifting towards holding my head at an angle to put the good eye closer to the center. and human necks. are not meant to accommodate that sorta thing.

[riacte]

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

[wormspoodle]

compiled some things

[yeah-yeah-beebiss-1]

in case you were wondering how things went down at the pokemon world championships this weekend:

-during the top 8 of the TCG masters division, chilean player fernando cifuentes was running a gimmick deck that consisted exclusively of four iron thorns ex and a whole ton of control-focused trainer cards in a strategy that either completely shuts down opponents or shits the bed entirely

-through skillful play and some good luck, fernando made it through 2 days in a tournament with over 1100 players to get to the quarterfinals

-fernando lost 2-0 to ian robb, who was running regidrago vstar (widely considered one of the best decks in the current format)

-in an overexuberant victory celebration, ian did what can only be described as a jacking-off gesture, on a stream with tens of thousands of viewers run by a company with very firm player conduct expectations

-the judges determined that this warranted a penalty of game loss, but for some reason, rather than applying it to ian’s next game in the semifinals, they applied it to the one he had just won in the top 8

-(it should be noted that the prize money for making top 8 is $15k while top 4 is $20k, so this jerking gesture cost ian robb $5,000)

-nearly an hour after fernando came to terms with his loss and the end of an impressive run, he was told that he was to get back on stream because he’s now playing in the semifinals due to winning by default

-the player he was up against in the semifinals was playing a deck (miraidon) that happens to get shut down hard by iron thorns’s gimmick, so fernando wins the semifinals

-said player, jesse parker, had notably had an undefeated run throughout the whole tournament up to this point, and likely would have continued that streak had his intended semifinal opponent not gotten a game loss penalty for miming a lewd act on stream

-meanwhile, the other semifinal winner is japan’s seinosuke shiokawa, running a deck (roaring moon) that players had largely written off as underwhelming months ago

-the grand finals are on the following day, so saturday evening was abuzz with a lot of people baffled by the absurdity of the situation

-come sunday afternoon, the grand finals are set to begin, with fernando cifuentes running iron thorns and seinosuke shiokawa running roaring moon

-it should be noted here that the roaring moon deck doesn’t rely very much on abilities, so iron thorns’s gimmick has very little effect - this is basically an even matchup

-fernando wins the first game of the set, and seinosuke wins the second

-the third and final game of the set is a bonafide cheek-clencher, with both players reaching a state where a single KO will win the game, but fernando manages to clinch it at the last minute

-and that’s the story of how a guy pretending to jork it led to the first instance of a pokemon world champion who also lost the quarterfinals

[problemnyatic]

when will we talk about the willful helplessness epidemic on here. So many people on this god forsaken website demand to have any and all things that exist outside their personal experiences directly, personally pre-chewed and spoonfed to them. And when you do, they'll then ask for you to swallow for them, too, because, you see, in THEIR experience..,

[cloudcastor]

We finish this, Together.

[wishfulsketching]

This is what the dynamic was like

[planefood]

rules for thee and not for me

[auckie]

[krysmcscience]

I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.

Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:

Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao

this is so stupid :D

Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.

[wannadrawiguessplease]

👁️👁️

CEASLESS WATCHER-

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[tossawary]

This is petty fandom salt, BUT... I've been chewing on this phenomenon that I've been calling "Fandom's Darling". It is related to things like "Author's Darling" and "Mary Sue / Gary Stu" and "Protagonist Halo" and all that jazz, where one character gains a peculiar narrative weight in a story.

"Author's Darling" is when a writer has a favorite character, and the world and all other characters sort of get... warped to put the Darling in the spotlight. It's most noticeable in TV shows with multiple writers, when a character you personally like suddenly has their previous characterization destroyed to make another character look good somehow. Every other character might become weirdly incompetent. The Darling's feelings are treated as The Most Important Feelings in any given situation. The logic of the fictional world seems broken past suspension of disbelief in order to validate this one character's beliefs or skillset or some other fantasy. And so on.

"Fandom's Darling" is what I've been calling the pattern where a fandom essentially crowns a New Protagonist for their fanfiction stories (it's often a side character rather than the original protagonist, but it can also happen to protagonists). This character becomes the self-insert for all sorts of indulgent fantasies, gaining special powers or backstories, and/or becoming the focus of extreme whump, and/or hooking up with all the various hotties, starring in all sorts of tropey AUs, and so on. They're not always an obvious Mary Sue version of themselves, but the character's original personality and interpersonal relationships tend to get warped or dropped completely, and other characters tend to become a little flat around them. I call it "Fandom's Darling" because it's not just one self-indulgent fantasy fic (you do you! Have fun!) with characterization choices that I don't vibe with (I have neither the time nor the desire nor the authority to police anything, I am just venting), but rather a prolific mini-fandom of sorts revolving around this empty doll / fanon version of the chosen vessel character, so it becomes a little unavoidable.

I am salty about this (mildly frustrated) (imagine a soft sigh of disappointment before I just go do something else) because you are FUCKED if you actually liked the canonical version of this character and their interpersonal relationships. It's almost worse than liking an obscure character that no one cares about. There's about a thousand fics starring your fave, but maybe only about a dozen of them are actually rooted in any kind of recognisable canon.

[ot3]

like truly there is nothing more heartbreaking than watching game franchises go from 2d art that's filled to the brim with personality and near flawlessly executed to middling 3d models.

[stemmmm]

the scene people keep screaming about from chapter 5 of theseus' guide