#and the final episode goes basically the same as it did in the show

[mrcrawly]

Dr. House is still some of the best autistic representation I've ever seen

I made my initial post a while ago, but I'm finally starting season 4 and I feel just as strongly about this. I did get a little bit of pushback on my initial post so let me be clear: I don't care if you disagree with me! I don't care if you don't think Dr. House is autistic! Do not get into my comments and be condescending about it! I'm autistic and this is my opinion! Make your own post about why you think Dr. House is neurotypical and leave me alone!

Disregard for social cues or normalities. I'm really driving this one home because every time I watch this show it shocks me how much he's like me. Not necessarily even because he's an asshole, but because he's just weird. This is old news, but he has an entire conversation with Wilson about how he's not good with first dates and conversations because either the topic of conversation is boring, or there's subtext, and to understand the subtext you need "a decoder ring." Hm yes very neurotypical thing to say. He doesn't have much sense of boundaries or privacy, and regularly embarrasses Wilson or will discuss something gross with Cuddy while someone else is around. He also says pretty gross things in public and in inappropriate situations, even if just to be funny. Some of this is just generally him being an asshole, but I think some of this is genuinely a lack of understanding in how to interact with people. Sometimes he just plainly doesn't respond when asked a question or spoken to when he doesn't know what to say or doesn't want to speak.

Strong sense of justice and morality. I mention this a little in my initial post, but I don't remember if it was its own point. House gets angry when people endanger his patients, and will get angry at anyone, no matter who, if their decision hurts his patient. When Wilson was too afraid to put his foot down and insist that the family accept House's treatment in "Family," he gets pissed off at Wilson and tells him he's a "coward." He apologizes for this after because it was uncalled for, and Wilson's intentions were good, but nevertheless he was right. This is not me saying that House is a particularly moral individual. If you took a shot every time he violated very basic ethical principles you would die of alcohol poisoning before you reached the second season of the show. But House's concern is his patient's life. In his mind, if his actions save his patient's life, it is ultimately moral. When his team fucks up and risks their patient, he gets pissed off and will humiliate them so they understand the gravity of their mistake.

Specific and niche interests. I mention in my initial post that he has very few interests (mostly General Hospital and his job), but since the first couple seasons I've gotten more a feel for his love of music. He owns live recordings of Elvis on vinyl. He owns more than one guitar (from what I saw of his apartment). Music is kind of his thing. To take that a little further, it seems like he collects things. This is by no means necessarily an autistic trait, but collecting is very common with autistic people who have special interests. I collect Spiderman merchandise, for example.

Resistant to change. I don't think I'd seen the episode yet, but after he's shot at the end of season 2, he insists that the carpet that's been stained with his blood is kept. He goes as far as to annoy everyone incessantly in order to get his carpet back. House is also just generally the kind of person who wants things exactly how he wants them. He doesn't like people messing with his things or for his environment to change, even when the inconvenience is simple and ultimately unimportant. In the last episode of season 3, Wilson says this pretty plainly. House has played the same guitar since eighth grade, driven the same car for ten years, and been living in the same place for fifteen. Change just isn't his thing. It's often hard for autistic people to adapt to significant changes because of the way they process information. Change is overwhelming.

Observant and analytical. When Wilson starts yawning, he doesn't just write this off or explain it, he immediately starts considering every possible reason and deducing why he's yawning. House likes puzzles, and symptomology is his thing. He also definitely violated Wilson's trust by spiking his coffee with amphetamines, but he did so based on a line of logic and reason. This isn't necessarily an autistic characteristic, but it is fairly common among some autistic people to view a course of action or event through the lense of logic rather than considering the emotional consequences. I do this a lot. House is also especially blunt and almost excessively honest. He does lie (obviously), but when it really matters to be honest he will be, and he won't mince his words for people's comfort. This is going back to differences in how he experiences empathy.

This post is honestly probably boring, because I'm really just driving my initial points home. Again, I don't really think that House MD discusses autism in the most meaningful or accurate way, but House feels more authentic to me than actual, intentional autistic representation. Also, some of these things can be attributed to depression or House's problems with attachment; this is just my perspective on some things.

[musclesandhammering]

The concept of Wandavision would’ve worked so good with Loki.

Like he’s running from the TVA and trying to figure out the mystery of the timekeepers, so he basically takes an apocalypse timeline hostage to use as his safe spot and base of operations, and enchants everyone there to think they’re living in a perfectly normal suburban town…. all the while the literal end of the world is approaching and there’s the whole creepy existential mystery element of him trying to piece everything together about the TVA.

Sylvie can be his accomplice and she comes and goes from the “hex” (more like a big enchantment bubble filled with illusions) to help with the investigating.

Mobius is the only person inside the hex besides loki that knows it’s not real.

The entire time the TVA people are trying to find them, and B-15 is the one that figures out the hiding in apocalypses thing (cause she’s smart af) but she doesn’t tell Ravonna cause she’s secretly on their side.

Loki and Mobius are playing the part of 2 small town detectives trying to bust a big criminal organisation, but as the show goes on it’s revealed that they’re actually trying to bust the TVA.

It’s like a creepy sci-fi mystery type thing, because for the first few episodes the audience doesn’t even know what’s going on and genuinely believes the buddy cop storyline.

[honourablejester]

I was watching a video on top battlefield moments from science fiction, and I was delighted to see included the moment from the Babylon 5 episode ‘Severed Dreams’ where Ambassador Delenn of the Minbari shows up to the Battle of Babylon 5 to invite the enemy Earth Alliance ships to run the fuck away. Because yes. That moment is always a correct choice.

“This is Ambassador Delenn, of the Minbari. Babylon 5 is under our protection. Withdraw, or be destroyed.”

“Negative! We have authority here. Do not force us to engage your ships!”

“Why not? Only one human captain has ever survived battle with a Minbari fleet. He is behind me. You are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else.”

Followed by the EA ships proving that they did, indeed, value their lives. Heh.

With no context whatsoever, this moment is still boss as hell. One lady shows up with three cruisers and a dinky little White Star warship, and she makes the opposing side, which two seconds ago had the station and all its exhausted defenders dead to rights, literally run away. She says go and they do. Immediately, no questions asked. And she implies why, she implies that Minbari are people humans just don’t want to fight, but if you don’t have context, it might not be clear to you the scale of what she’s talking about.

Which is that, fifteen years ago, Ambassador Delenn of the Minbari, in her fury and grief over what she saw as the murder of her mentor, cast the deciding vote that lead to the Earth-Minbari war, which is a nice thing to call what was essentially a genocidal religious crusade on behalf of the Minbari to completely annihilate the human race. And they damn near succeeded. She regretted her decision almost immediately, but by the time she managed to halt what she’d started, it was during the Battle of the Line. The final annihilation of Earth itself. Earth, humanity, fought them for every inch of space in between, but they lost every single fight. All the way to Earth. No one, except Sheridan, the man behind her, survived battle with the Minbari. And Sheridan, it has to be said, basically cheated, to almost war crime levels, by using a distress call to lure a Minbari ship into a nuclear minefield. That was the only victory humanity eked out. The Minbari just steamrolled them, an implacable tide of annihilation that literally nothing they had could stop. The Earth-Minbari War was not stopped by anything humanity did, it was stopped by Delenn herself showing the Council of Nine that humans had Minbari souls (aka that humans and Minbari could reincarnate as each other, making them in religious terms the same species), granting the Council a religious ground to halt the war. Humanity was, essentially, annihilated by Delenn’s fury, and saved by her compassion, and there was nothing they could do to influence either of them.

That, in this moment, is what just appeared on this battlefield. Embodied in this woman. A fifteen year shadow of the end of their race. The Battle of the Line is etched in every human memory in this setting, the moment when they evacuated their homeworld, evacuated Earth, while every fighting ship they possessed died in orbit trying to delay, not stop, just delay, the implacable tide of the Minbari onslaught.

When Delenn shows up and, in cold, quiet fury, says ‘withdraw or be destroyed’, she fucking means it, and there is not a single human being in this galaxy (or, to be fair, anyone else either) who doesn’t believe her. The Minbari have proved it. You can piss off anyone else in the galaxy you like, you can fight gods, but you do not, ever, piss off the Minbari. Especially not this Minbari.

Because she’s learned since then. She has seen the horrors of war, she has felt the almost incomprehensible stain of blood on her hands, she has fought to stop what she started and realised how infinitely more difficult it is, and she has learned. So if she goes to war now, it is with full knowledge of the cost and the consequence. If you tip her over that line, woe betide you. Because it means she’s decided that your death is worth whatever she can’t stop in the aftermath, and if your death is worth that much, then there’s nothing in this galaxy that will prevent it.

God, but Delenn was such an absolute tour de force of a character. This quiet, gentle, soft-spoken woman whose fury had destroyed races and whose compassion had saved the galaxy. She’s not even warrior caste, she’s religious caste. She’s not, technically speaking, a fighter. But hers is the voice that starts and ends wars, and she has never once flinched from personally standing in the face of annihilation to do so.

If she told you to stop being silly and go home before something bad happened, I promise you, you would listen too. Heh.

(Also yes, I’m aware I’ve posted pretty much exactly this several times before, but literally every time I rewatch that scene it brings this wave of giddy awe and wild ferociousness back. Literally. It’s a scene that makes you want to fist-fight god, and a scene that makes you think you could maybe win too. If Delenn is behind you, then even if you don’t win, you will mess them the fuck up in the process. She’s inspiring that way. Heh).

[daffodils-and-viscera]

i've seen a lot of posts comparing mastermind to truth seekers but hear me out: ozzie's

SO this may be long buckle in. these episodes kinda have the same plot?

blitzø has found himself in a bit of a sitch, as it were...

our beloved dramatic gay owl is at home watching gabriela pine over alejandro, when suddenly... blitzy is in trouble! omg let's get cunty and go save the day!!

however, despite showing up and saving lives (he may have literally saved blitzø's life in mastermind but that outfit from ozzie's changed all our lives forever soo...) blitzø isn't necessarily ((outwardly)) happy to see stolas (((we all know he does not mind stolas' ass in his face but stay with me here)))

stolas' privilege allows him to be immediately heard and not punished by the people who would never listen to blitzø's side of things, and stolas gets to be his dramatic lil bitch self and we love to see it

in ozzie's, blitzø has his past come back to haunt him in so many ways, he is put in the spotlight and he is decidedly not comfortable there, being called out for all the shit he's done to fizz and verosika and even m&m - HOWEVER! as we all now know, all of those people actually care about blitzø and he was just being his lil destructive self. he is given the chance to defend himself but it's overwhelming and he kinda freezes up

in mastermind, blitzø is being outright blamed for things he didn't do but like.. he actually didn't do any of that ! and yet he can't defend himself because nobody would listen to him even if he wasn't gagged.

the difference between these 2 episodes is in stolas' behaviour when HE is put in the spotlight- at ozzie's he is freshly separated from stella and probably hasn’t done anything social for a long ass time and he’s not used to being in public. and here’s this thing that he thinks is gonna be fun and will help blitzø but he is not able to express himself so he hides and the result of that is blitzø pushing him away, literally doesn’t want to touch him

in MASTERMIND our birdy babe is singing his lil heart out with no regard for what anyone else thinks of him or what might happen to him, which is so beautiful (but also stolas pls try not to inhale the water).... when he doesn't hide his feelings from blitzø we see how perfect it could be when their inner worlds merge and they are finally on the same page, and blitzø does the furthest thing possible from pushing stolas away !!!

(he did however still neglect to consider octavia's feelings when he decided to drop everything for blitzø... with devastating implications in mastermind) sorry to bring the mood down but this needs to be pointed out

in ozzie's, stolas tries to invite blitzø to his place (and we all remember how well that went)........ blitzø goes home alone and loona is not there, he is all alone and sad curled up on the couch on his phone looking at all the people he believes he's let down and it's heartbreaking

when stolas goes to blitzø's place in mastermind, stolas gets all the love and support blitzø has to offer and loona is there too and blitzø curls up on the couch on his phone looking at all these people who love and support him!!! and then he makes the couch all comfy for stolas and he’s not alone?? like they’re both so not alone that it hurts my heart to think about. these 2 have so much love for each other and yeah there's gonna be tough times ahead but they are not alone! !!!!

basically both eps end the same? but also everything is better now? because blitz was loved before he just couldn’t see it through all his nonsense

and stolas is still in a messed up situation and he's still kinda problematic and he couldn’t see it before through all his nonsense but now he’s more self aware?

the real difference is they have each other now! they are so not alone it makes them look stupid!!

anyway this is the longest post i've ever made sorry if it's rambly i have adhd and a lot of feelings about these two

[heavenlee773]

Fairly Odd Parents; A New Wish finale spoilers!!

Okay so am I the only one who didn’t like the fact that Hazel’s friends now know about the fairies?

Because like, how do you go on from that? Maybe it’s because I never really got attached to her friends the same way I did with Dev, but it’s just racking my mind over how the episodes in season two will go.

It kind of feels like them knowing about the fairies will only cause troublesome situations like ���oh it’s fine! Hazel can just wish us out of this mess” or “Hazel can you wish this for us please?” Which will probably cause a lot of problems, and there’s no going back from that.

It could be because on every site I watched FOPANW for free, it’s missing “The Wellsington Hotellsington” episode which I’m pretty sure is the episode where Winn gets formally introduced, and the trio’s friendship cements. I’ll probably have to buy that episode since websites don’t want to add it for some reason…

But now Season 2 most likely will be focused more on the trio and their shenanigans, so I don’t knowww… I’m really biased though, I love Dev as a character and I love his and Hazel’s dynamic (before the whole taking over fairy world thing)☹️

I like Jasmine and Winn but I just don’t care for them, you know?

And onto Hazel’s brother Antony, he’s cool and all but why does he need to know about the fairies?

Like I know this makes it SO much easier for Hazel, and it’s basically a huge weight lifted off of her, but story wise?? Eughhh I don’t know😖

I mean, if they explore his and Deja’s relationshipppp hmmm okayyyy😋😋 But I just know how they’d segue way into that, and thinking about it makes me uncomfortableeee!!

Basically what I’m saying is, I CAN’T WAIT FOR SEASON TWO AND I HOPE THERE IS MORE DEV CONTENT!!!

PLEASEE don’t have Dev just be a one off antagonist☹️☹️

The theory that Dev keeps his memories because of his shades (and also his similarities to some other rich kid that was in the original series of whom I forgot his name) is cool, but also awkwarddd— because what does he do with that information?? Like okay buddy, you remember. Now what? He never had the best relationship with Peri in the first place!! I’d prefer if maybe season one went on WITHOUT Irep interfering or at least appearing but not appearing again until the next season, because THEN Dev and Peri could’ve connected at least a little, and Dev could have more realizations about “maybe I don’t need my father’s approval” or something— then in season two when Dev goes on a spiral or something, let’s say his dad ticks him off;

Dev tries to have a heart to heart with his dad after Hazel and Peri push him to,

“I feel like you don’t care about me, and all I want is for you to be proud of me—“

And his dad is like,

“Come back to me when you do something I can be proud of.”

SO THEN he becomes bitter at Hazel and Peri for “making” him go do that, and turns to Irep to take over Fairy World.

Eughhhh but this is a kid’s show after all, and they want to cater to their attention spans so a show that takes a while to fully flesh out their characters would probably go right over some kid’s heads (or not, they could probably become smarter.)

I still love the show, and fanfiction exists for this exact reason—

I guess that’s enough of my Ramb-Lee’s for now, if anyone wants to talk about FOPANW, I’m here😝.

(Dev looks so CUTE in this scene🥺)

Peace!!

-🤍

[hanaybuns]

lawyer kara

so i was listening to doramatsu volume 4 (the iromatsu lawyer one) and kept thinking about karamatsu's characterization in the tracks

for the most part, ichimatsu stays consistent to his neet character in both tracks. he's generally lethargic, negative, rude, antagonistic, and plays the straight man while he's a lawyer and the defendant. But i feel like they take karamatsu's character in a really funny direction

like, he's definitely karamatsu in both tracks. he has all of the karamatsu character beats: narcissistic, pathetic, romantic, painful/cringey, generally kind ... but man they dial it up to 100000000. like seriously, every other sentence is filled to the brim with flowery prose and dumb english phrases.

like, look at this, these are some of lawyer karamatsu's lines

and of course... how could i not mention:

and defendant kara isn't any better

i think lawyer kara is much more ooc, but even then defendant kara also goes on a million monologues about love every 0.05 seconds. he's also extra dumb in the defendant track. now one could make the claim that karamatsu is playing a character in the lawyer track, but for the most part if you listen to the other volumes, everyone else is basically the same. kara is really the only character that's like... deeply ooc. i have a couple theories as to why they did this.

so first, these are audio alone, there are no visuals to accompany the dialogue. so the character acting has to be a bit more exaggerated to keep the listener engaged. if you have no visual gags, you have to compensate for that with funny dialogue and sound effects. basically, the quality of the drama track is heavily dependent the dialogue and the line delivery.

and lemme tell you, yuichi nakamura is hysterical in both of these tracks. like genuinely his line delivery is so funny, i highly recommend listening to these tracks again. so a part of the fact that kara is ooc is because they probably wanted to utilize his more poetic, emotional, and passionate sides to make the most out of the medium.

Secondly, these tracks were released in 2016, before seasons 1 and 2. so they honestly didn't actually know much about karamatsu's character, he wasn't as fleshed out as he is now. at this point, the only point of reference they had for when karamatsu was angry was either during gags or in episode 24 (very serious). so they had to experiment a little with what an angry or aggressive kara would look like and i think they came to a really interesting conclusion.

as we know, kara has a tendency to mask his true intentions under the guise of kindness and love.

this is one of the rarer moments from season 1 where he was annoyed that they wanted him to fill the kerosene. but see what he did there? he took his annoyance and wrapped it in a ball of "i'm so cool and kind and loving, i'm doing this out of love''

lawyer kara is that concept, but dialed up to 1000000000. he starts slapping the crap out of ichimatsu under the guise of wanting to help him prove that he's not servile, when in reality, he's probably just being sadistic.

third, shu matsubara (the head writer of ososan) didn't write these tracks. he actually didn't write any of them! the person who wrote these 2 tracks is kazuyuki fudeyasu. he's a very prolific screen writer, here are some of the shows he's worked on:

and many many more! (these are all from his imdb page)

and from what i know, he actually never worked on the show. he's only worked on other audio tracks for doramatsu. so this karamatsu was written by someone who is a very talented writer... but has never written for karamatsu before.

finally, i'll cap this off with the most plausible and important theory of all:

it's fan service.

[sgiandubh]

Hola, hola! Pregunta de novata asombrada: De veras se casó con ese señor? Habláis de certificado de matrimonio que alguien se molestó en buscar? OMG...

Dear Novata Asombrada Anon,

En cuanto a todos mis anónimos hispanos, espero que no te importe que te contestaré en inglés, como muestra de cortesía hacia la gran mayoría de mis lectores. Gracias y aquí vamos con la traducción de tu pregunta. Y, para que no se me olvide, ¡bienvenida!

Hello, hello! Question from a shocked newbie: Did she really marry that man? Are you talking about a marriage certificate that someone bothered to look for? OMG…

Good morning and thank you for asking - you are not the only one today, it would seem. This question is making the rounds again (why?) and let's call this a (fortunate?) coincidence. The Marriage Certificate (MC) was the equivalent of the Great Christian Schism between Rome and Byzantium, in this fandom, mind you. Depending on your own take on the S&C Saga, it has been dreaded, expected, announced with great confidence and actively researched by fans, who simply took advantage of a very relaxed and transparent UK legislation, allowing for basically everyone to order a certified copy by email or snail mail, for a small fee.

The first fan aggressively trumpeting it online was (correct me if I am wrong) an ex-shipper who now goes by the handle of @brian-in-finance, also known as BIF, also known as Kidneystone. In her pedantic and arrogant little voice, she made a point of honor in dissecting absolutely every single detail of that dutifully certified piece of paper issued by the British General Register Office (GRO). A second, short-lived account, @hurleyburly, ordered the same paper and posted it on Tumblr, this time pudically hiding some details under a makeshift post-it. The usual fandom fortunetellers thought the handwriting on that 'post-it' was eerily similar to S's own, but we'll leave it at this. Although, I have to immediately add, I would not discount this possibility. A third prominent shipper account, @boyneriver-fraser, ordered it and made pathetic public amends over her previous shipping stance. Some others imitated them and received the exact same paper, followed by a seemingly endless trail of wrath, confusion and wailings.

People were understandably shocked, hurt and in definite anger over this. Many disembarked the ship, considering they had been either blind/idiot or cynically fooled by our Dynamic Duo, eager to sell the show. Speculation went rife. Some even tried to go the extra mile and believe they found out even more inconsistencies. I shall not speak on their behalf, simply because I was not here at the time and had no idea These Two will become such an (often invading) point of interest in my own life.

But irrespective of any inconsistencies, this paper legally exists. As such, it has legal effects that cannot and should not be discounted. I have always maintained it, as a professional. Likewise, I have consistently explained the Ibiza episode might be anything you could think of, from a romantic (?) picnic on a parking lot with a bird featuring a strange toupee (as per C's tweeted chirp), to a non legally binding handfasting ceremony (remember, LOL, 'some things are just for' Them). I have explained very early after my arrival why I do not think a Spanish marriage was in the cards. This is my final word about that #CarparkIbiza fanfic:

[Link: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/723029524897529856/i-have-asked-a-few-very-popular-bloggers-this?source=share - July 16, 2023]

More clearly put, national Spanish legislation requires the two foreign citizens to be residents in Spain, if they want to get married there. British consulates do not perform marriage ceremonies, either. And cross-border marriage rules in Europe, at the time applicable to a not yet Brexited UK, would have mandatorily required a transcription of the marriage papers in Britain. This is not the USA, where you can just go to Vegas, have your knot tied by an Elvis lookalike and divorce the next (hungover) morning. Or go to Tijuana and do what Sophia Loren and Carlo Ponti did in 1957, to great (bigamous) scandal. Rules are different. Rules exist, as stupid and cold as they might look. And one more time - they have tangible consequences.

At this point in time, you might logically ask yourself why I am still here. Is it because of the feeling of power and self-importance, as some nasty Anons remind me every single day? Is it because of the formidable people I have met in here? Yes, it is also because of them, but not only because of them, of course. And as far as any feeling of power and self-importance go, let's just say it's ridiculous to think so.

The reason I am still here is both simple and complicated to understand: a paper, even certified, does not a marriage make. Mark me, Anon: there is nothing (I repeat: nothing) normal about this one. There are secrets and lies and inconsistencies and gaslighting galore. The shippers know it. The Antis/Mordor know it. The Fencers know it. And every single one of these broad factions apparently has ample supplies of popcorn. And, as far as we go, champagne bottles stashed, plus a firm decision to have a Global Lollapalooza on the Internet the day this awkward situation would come to an end.

I have tried to answer your very legitimate question the best I could. I do not believe in sugarcoating or hiding anything. What I do believe in, is the power of critical thinking and the ability to coldly analyze facts, even if they do not encourage fantasy. You would be surprised of the things that do not click, in that official Narrative. Important things, not speculation. My blog primarily deals in this kind of stuff: things that do not click and paint a very different story than the one officially being peddled around.

And now, dear Shocked Newbie Anon, you are free to disembark, if you think I am still lying to you (what for, may I ask? just to receive every single day violent garbage into my Inbox?). But if you choose to stay with us, the tea is always brewing, somewhere. And mind you, it's often the finest Oolong you could find, because I honestly believe that we have the most formidable and unexpected assortment of witty minds and strong characters, in here.

[bisclavret]

what SICKO wrote the last scenes between gwaine and merlin is what i want to know. because even lancelot's last episode with merlin - which had to have been intentionally gay-coded since it's obvious the man is grappling with his feelings for merlin morphing from platonic to explicitly romantic - is still subtext because he doesn't have the tools to healthily express his feelings so he goes for the biggest romantic gesture he can think of: sacrificing his life to save a loved one. the writers also make sure to root this gesture back to gwen by adding a scene where she's inadvertently asking him to make that sacrifice first, so although it's very obvious that it's more for merlin than for gwen that lancelot dies for, she is there to add some plausible deniability, thus keeping his sexuality within the realms of subtext.

i don't want to delve too deeply into arthur's last scenes with merlin as there is both so much to unpack about what they mean to each other and there is also somehow nothing left to say that hasn't been said before. my point is just that there's so much at stake that if the viewer doesn't want to deal with the romantic subtext between them they can hang onto the 38 other dynamics merlin and arthur have represented to each other that the writers spent 5 years plastering on top of the gay subtext. basically, while the romance feels textual emotionally-speaking, it isn't "canon".

i don't mean to say that any relationship is better than another (even though i obviously have a preference) but that in gwaine's final scenes with merlin there's just no subtext anymore. his becomes the most explicit expression of romantic love towards merlin, and therefore the most explicit acknowledgment of homosexual love and the existence of queer people on the show:

it starts out with merlin suggesting that gwaine saved a girl from the saxons and then looked after her because he has a more than platonic interest in her, and they show us that merlin is right - gwaine and the girl eira slept together - even as gwaine half-heartedly denies any interest (which, why even deny it? merlin saw them holding hands! unless the lie is part of the point). then in that very same scene and directly after this exchange, merlin needs rescuing from the saxons, calls after gwaine, and gwaine performs the exact same role for him that he performed for eira: he saves him from the saxons and looks after him (for as long as merlin lets him).

the parallel between merlin and eira with such quick cause and effect (it literally all happens within the same minute) is where the shift from subtext to text becomes undeniable. yes, there have been other moments on the show where a character's affections towards two different genders are beat-for-beat the same, but, again, there has always been plausible deniability. in this case the parallel is meant to be taken at face value: the core point of it is to show us how gwaine expresses his attraction.

then, the dialogue they chose to bookend this scene with takes it a few steps further by functioning as a textual love confession to merlin himself: the scene opens with gwaine thanking merlin for everything he did for eira, and merlin saying that there is no need to thank him as it was the least he could do. a minute later, after merlin thanks gwaine for protecting him from the saxons as both merlin and the show just concluded gwaine did for eira for romantic reasons (even as he denied it by outright lying), gwaine parrots what merlin said when gwaine thanked him: no need to thank me, merlin, it's the least i could do.

but this comes off as the opposite of dismissive: in fact, this echoing of merlin's words is meant to jolt both merlin and the audience. by saying this right after saving merlin from the saxons, gwaine has now intentionally pointed merlin's attention towards the explicitly romantic parallel between himself and eira. gwaine is directly implying he just did for merlin what merlin correctly deduced he did for a woman because he desired her sexually and romantically, and he is using merlin's own words to challenge him into seeing past the initial flimsy lie that there is nothing between them. and what's behind the lie, of course, is that gwaine has done all of this and more because he desires merlin sexually and romantically. the camera even lingers on merlin, allowing him and the viewer to absorb what just happened. that for as long as we have known gwaine, his motivations have always boiled down to "i want to be there for merlin". and now both the audience and merlin finally know for sure what was motivating him the entire time.

what's more, by using merlin's own dismissive words, gwaine also implicates merlin's penchant for repression and denial and never allowing himself to be given credit where it's due. this unfortunately never properly gets dismantled on the show, but this moment shows that gwaine knows merlin well enough to know that he goes above and beyond for people, and that merlin's reasons for this ring as false to gwaine's ears as gwaine's reasons for saving damsels do to merlin. it also bittersweetly implies that gwaine has accepted that these are the platonic, repressed terms on which he can have a relationship with merlin. but i think the way in which he explicitly points all of this out to merlin is meant to imply that he isn't entirely happy about having to accept that. or, to circle back to eira, that merlin seems to be cheering for him to enter a heterosexual relationship when gwaine would clearly rather be with him.

what's additionally interesting to me about this is that this is one of the only scenes on this show that touch on same gender attraction that isn't using magic as a metaphor - because merlin doesn't have magic at the moment, yes, but also because gwaine is the more active character in this sequence, and he's an adventure hero, so he simply fights the bad guy to protect the person he loves. there is no metaphor to wrap this in, so he just gets to explicitly state his bisexuality. in the next scene, the very last one he and merlin share, it all becomes about magic again, which is both representative of merlin's sexuality and the show's "plausible deniability" approach to gay-coding, and so neither gwaine or merlin are permitted to acknowledge it. also, and this is for another post altogether, but all things point to "gwaine knew". not least because he gets to come out as queer without the complications of the magic-as-gay-metaphor which in turn emboldens him to ask merlin for the truth as directly as the metaphor-suffocated narrative will allow it.

tldr gwaine textually and canonically expresses and then confesses his feelings to merlin in a shockingly well-written and layered scene which makes gwaine the most explicitly queer character on bbc merlin and it's entirely because he exists outside the magic-as-gay-metaphor plot while loving someone who embodies that entire metaphor and it's crazy to me that we don't talk about this more. once again i ask what SICKO wrote this and where were they for the entire rest of this fucking show

tldrtldr at least gwaine is bi. its like i always say. at least gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. dont cry ok? gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. when all else fails. gwaine is bi. we'll always have. gwaine is bi

[herefortarlos]

There are sadly only three episodes left of��9-1-1: Lone Star, which returns on Monday, January 20, 2025 (the finale is set for February 3).

And sure, there’s a massive emergency—an asteroid heading for Austin—but there’s also quite a bit left to wrap up about the characters as well. In addition to whether or not Owen (Rob Lowe) might take that job offer and what’s next for Judd (Jim Parrack) with his drinking, there’s the matter of T.K. (Ronen Rubinstein) and Carlos (Rafael Silva) adopting T.K.’s half-brother Jonah as well as what’s ahead for the rest of the first responders. TV Insider turned to co-showrunner Rashad Raisani for the scoop.

How much are we going to see T.K. and Carlos trying to balance being parents and balancing work? They have family, but at the same time, they are the primary caretakers now of this kid.

Rashad Raisani: You’re putting your finger right on the end of the series is all I’ll tell you about that. That becomes a major issue, let’s put it that way.

Do they have time for themselves as a couple?

They will, I’ll put it that way, but I won’t tell you how.

As much as I love seeing Nancy (Brianna Baker) as captain and she’s already doing great, will we see Tommy (Gina Torres) back at the 126 before the show ends?

I can’t answer that. It would be too big. I can’t answer it. Let’s just say Gina Torres is a Ferrari. You don’t leave a Ferrari in the garage forever.

But will we see her physically at the 126? She could just be visiting.

[Laughs] If I answered it. I would be spoiling so much.

What else can you tease about the final three episodes for the characters and their relationships?

The thing that I can say is that everyone in the last two episodes gets pushed to their extreme limit—and some past it, to be honest. We have some of our most insane apocalyptic emergencies in 11 and 12. It’s basically a combination of The Last of Us and Chernobyl. It mirrors where all of the characters are, and most of them are in an apocalyptic space for one reason or another.

Mateo [Julian Works] is going to have an existential crisis going back to his status as a DACA, as a dreamer. T.K. and Carlos, they are not done with—yeah, they want to adopt Jonah, but it’s not that easy, and there’s going to be a major fundamental hurdle for them that they’re going to have to make a significant life decision to decide how they want to deal with it. Tommy is at the end of her life. Owen will be at the end of his life. Judd will have a new future that I think will both be very shocking but also feel hopefully very appropriate that will change the game of where he goes. Marjan is going to have a massive episode in Episode 10, which I think people will get a lot of joy from—I know I did, and I think it’s her best episode of the series. I think everybody’s going to have some big game-changing moments in the final three episodes.

What about for Paul (Brian Michael Smith)?

There’s a great—I have to say Brian pitched me an idea. He said there was this moment in the pilot where Owen tells Paul basically, there’s somewhere out there in Austin as a kid like you that doesn’t think they belong. And I want you here for when we run across that kid, you know what I mean? Whether it be non-binary, trans, gay, whatever. And Brian said, we said that in the pilot, but wouldn’t it be great if we did a story that showed that? And I thought, well, that is a great idea. And so the last two episodes we’re going to do that and we’re going to introduce a new major character, I should say, who Paul will be their kind of role model.

Are there any significant steps for any of the relationships in these last episodes beyond the adoption for Tarlos?

There may be new babies. I won’t tell you who. There may be deaths. I won’t tell you who. So there will be, there sure will be.

9-1-1: Lone Star, Returns, Monday, January 20, 2025, 8/7c, Fox

[ecargmura]

Wind Breaker Episode 15 Review - The Tamed Wild Beast

One thing I like about Wind Breaker is that Sakura isn’t the one beating up the arc boss. In the Shishitoren, he fought Togame who is Choji’s second-in-command while Umemiya was the one who fought the leader. In the current Keel arc, Sakura isn’t the one to defeat Natori, despite wanting to do so. That honor goes to Kaji. The reason why Sakua is not fighting the final arc boss is because of both circumstances and development. He couldn’t fight Choji because that’s Umemiya’s duty as leader of Bofurin. What kind of leader would want to make a dude from who knows where be the one to defeat a notorious gang boss? For Keel, he gets humbled by Kaji because he’s taking on too much at once and it was getting to his head as he couldn’t focus on wanting to protect his classmates and trying to beat the snot out of Takeru. Those two instances are Sakura learning the small steps of leadership.

If you think this Keel arc is too short, it’s because it is. Despite that, the fight choreography is amazing. Like, I get why Clover Works took a year to get this season out because they’re focusing a lot on the choreography (and they also got a ton of projects like the newest arc of Black Butler that is also airing in the same season as WB). The way Sakura and the major first years beat their opponents was so cool.

I did mention that the opponents the first years face are all people the total opposite of them. Sakura vs Takeru is that of a noble vs unfair fight in that Sakura fights by himself without the need to use underhanded tactics like how Takeru did by instilling fear into other Keel members to try and attack Sakura. That resulted in him getting beaten up by him with one punch before Sakura shifts his target to the other mooks. Tsugeura vs Kirishima is basically a matchup between a talkative guy and a quiet guy as the latter is a man of few words. On top of that, Kirishima was the first to fight without the need of his weapon as he started fist fighting Tsugeura before getting knocked out. Sugishita vs Mogami is a match up of David and Goliath but this time, Goliath wins. I did like how he grabbed Mogami’s ankles and slammed him onto the ground before Sugishita dealt the final blow. Then, there’s the Kiryu vs Kaga fight where both are polar opposites in every way. I liked how Kiryu taunted his opponent by saying he’ll be b*tchless if he keeps up the tough manly macho guy act as girls hate it. For Suo vs Tone, it’s kind of hard to pinpoint what makes them opposites, but I do like to think that Suo was fighting to protect Nirei and now that Nirei got hurt, he’s lashing out. Tone, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to use other mooks or have someone worth fighting for.

Now, the highlight of the episode is definitely Kaji vs Natori. Natori is the leader of Keel and a violent, psychopathic guy who instills fears into his underlings and relishes it. While Kaji isn’t the leader of Bofurin, he’s the Grade captain of the second years and basically in a position higher than Sakura in terms of hierarchy. Kaji had a past of being like a rampaging feral beast but he hated that side of him. Hiiragi is the one who managed to tame him and that’s how he became the way he is today. While Natori did egg him on to become the violent beast he once was, he still manages to stay as he is, showing their major difference—Kaji can control himself while Natori cannot. The way Kaji was like he wished he could’ve done one more punch to make ten like he promised Sakura was so cold. Like he could’ve done so when Natori was still unconscious, but he’s better than that.

There were two aspects of this fight I liked. The first is using the vicinity to their advantage. Kaji shows off how nimble he is by doing backflips on the rails and even uses a hanging rope to swing himself so that he can get the right trajectory to kick Natori. When I read that part in the manga, I was amazed because it’s so much different from the Shishitoren arc where it’s just hand-to-had combat in a enclosed space. Keel’s base being an abandoned warehouse does mean there’s more room to do crazy stuff like make holes in the wall and rope swinging. The second is Junya Enoki’s voice acting as Natori. Can’t you believe this is actually Enoki’s FIRST time voicing a villain? Enoki, you should start auditioning for villains because you were AMAZING as the sleazy and psychotic Natori. Like, why haven’t you gotten villain roles sooner?

Poor Anzai got knocked out early on and had to sit out for the rest of the fight, but a win is a win for Furin. I’m glad that he got to save Nagato. Hopefully, the next episode will show the tearful reunion between the childhood friends. Overall, this was a great episode. I can’t wait for Thursday to come so that there’s more Wind Breaker. What are your thoughts on this episode?

[midnight1nk]

...

[*sighs*] I HATE THEM SO MUCH (/affectionate)

Like you don't understand. The first thing I noticed was Three and Tari, it already got me spiraling.

We all know that Three loves explosive chaos, especially when he is the one who causes it. He literally has a shop called "III's Coffee & Bombs" for meme's sake. Mr Puzzles knows that. Not only because Three uses them in his productions, but because Three tried to bomb him in the final fight during the Puzzlevision Movie.

Basically, Mr Puzzles is like

"You tried to kill me with your precious bombs, let's see how much you like it when we switch places, huh?"

Same thing goes for Tari, she was the one who used her metal arm to shoot him. As much as she was scared of Mr Puzzles, she was incredibly brave to confront him in the final fight. Not only that, Clench was a part of it too.

But without her arm, Tari might feel powerless.

"Without your robotic arm, you are nothing but a coward." - Mr Puzzles, probably

As for Boopkins, we didn't get to see him in the trailer but we know he's trapped there in Puzzle Park.

We know he isn't a sea monster but I suppose for Mr Puzzles, he's literally "a fish out of water", too "different" compared to the rest of the crew. (Which is not true considering the roster here). Mr Puzzles must've been feeling the same way, being different from everyone else and no one liking him.

Then, there's Bob with the knives. Bob had swords for hands presumably because he was bullied by Baby Wario and Waluigi and wanted to act/look cool. He changed and he's content with who he is now. (wow, really going in for trans Bob, huh)

Mr Puzzles also changed, but it was due to his obsession.

Yeah... Mr Puzzles is really projecting his insecurities onto the SMG4 Crew, calling them freaks when he himself "qualifies" as one. Especially in the state he's in right now. Ironic, isn't it?

But in his eyes, he's different. He's superior. No one understands his view of thinking, they could never. They didn't for his art, they didn't for him as Mr Puzzles. (There is no way "Mr Puzzles" is his actual name, It feels more like a stage name tbh.)

I knew the Marty speech would come back in some way,

"…And it's time for… everyone to suffer like I have! At the hands… of the one thing YOU love the MOST.”

But guys, if they bring up the whole freak show thing in WOTFI, Goop!Four could happen (please make it happen, for me specifically). I could just imagine:

Mr Puzzles: "And now, the greatest freak of them all: SMG4 and his keyboard goo!" SMG4, shocked: "...what?" Mr Puzzles: "Did you really think it was over in 'It's Gotta be Perfect'? Oh, SMG4. The goo never left your body. This is who you always wanted to be, you should've been more careful what you wished for." [*evil laughter*]

Then, it all comes together from the "SMG4: Inside Out" episode, and the goo takes over Four with the man in blue screaming in pain...

Is this ever going to happen? No. Am I thinking too much into this for a silly poster? Yeah. BUT I can't help it, I've gone insane over this.

[airenyah]

A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 11

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep12)

Ahhh, once again I didn't manage to publish this before the new (and final, this time 😭) episode. I was busy studying with my Thai language study buddy (that is I was asking him a million questions about the vocabulary in this episode) (at this point he's actually kinda invested in the show from what I've told him about it and from the scenes I've shown him lmao) and I was also busy hanging out with my other Thai friend who basically only speaks Thai. Oh and then I also got my period and I was so sleepy, I could barely form a coherent thought. Whoops. But hey, better late then never. I'd also love to drop the ep12 meta next Wednesday since there will be no new episode, but there is no way I'll make it. Once I post this post here I'd only have about two days to write the ep12 meta and that's simply just not enough time considering how long these metas have gotten. Oh well. Enough with the rambling.

ENJOY <3

(This one's at 19.7k words, btw. Counting only the meta part without the introduction. Including the introduction it's at just over 20k. Didn't I say I'd hit 20k by the finale? lmao)

Pronoun situation: As usual, just assume Fadel and Style use the rude pronouns guu/mueng with each other unless I specify otherwise.

To recap: Last episode, the hitman brothers found out some truths about Lilly. Their normie-boyfriends finally got to help them on their mission. Another truth bomb was dropped onto Fadel, shattering him. And Style was there right next to him, picking up the pieces.

No. 1: More Meetings and More Plans

Our foursome gathers to exchange Keen's boyfriend for dirt on Lilly. Since this is mostly between the brothers, both Style and Kant take a step back during the exchange. Style watches attentively, his expression serious. That is, until Keen finally has his boyfriend back and Style watches them hug.

He is very clearly touched and I absolutely adore that we get to see this little private moment of Style being happy for them. Because he did tell us (or rather told Fadel) in episode 8:

I'm a romantic person. กูมันเป็นคนโรแมนติก [guu - man - bpen - kon roh-maen-dtìk] I - [marker] - be - romantic person Official subs: I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm easily tricked by touching things. โดนหลอกด้วยอะไรซึ้งๆง่าย [dohn lòhk - dûuay - à-rai - séung séung - ngâai] be tricked, deceived - by, through - something - touching - easy Official subs: Can't help it that love stories touch me.

Style just loves love. And I just love how consistent his characterization has stayed about this. Style even comments on the fact that he was touched: "I almost shed tears seeing how much they love each other." Fadel replies "I'd have done the same thing for you" and Style looks at him fondly.

Then, Kant brings the conversation back to the Lilly thing and with that Style goes back to serious mode. Kant doesn't want Bison to kill Lilly and suggests he'll talk to Captain Christ in case there's a way. Style pulls Fadel towards him and assures him determinedly that "We'll do anything to keep you out of jail". Style's face is full of concern as he says this. Style is so earnest in his promise, he really means it from the bottom of his heart. He already hated the idea of Fadel going to jail all throughout episode 6, and now it's becoming a potential reality again. A reality that Style desperately doesn't want to face. And if we're being real, Fadel going to jail is something that Style has dreaded since episode 5 already:

Kant sighs and says he wants to end things quickly and then foretells what their happy ending is going to be: "Once those two get arrested, we walk free." But Style stares gloomily into the air and gives a near invisible head shake, almost as if he disagrees with Kant's words, as if to say But that's not what MY happy ending looks like.

(Quoted from my ep5 meta.)

Fadel steps closer to hug Style in response to his promise. Kant sends Style an almost questioning nod over Bison's shoulder, as if to ask whether Style is going to help him with Captain Christ. Style nods firmly in return. Of course he is.

Now allow me to skip the scene in which Style and Kant make their deal with Captain Christ. I didn't find it all that interesting to look at and also, I need that section cover pic gone in favor or more gifs lmao. Both Style and Kant are very self-assured when they talk to Captain Christ. They are confident that their plan is going to work, that's the main take-away.

No. 2: Future Old Man Yaoi

Style excitedly introduces Fadel to his friend and announces that his friend can do fake passports and stuff. Fadel nods a polite nod and smiles a polite smile, but looks otherwise very unconvinced. Style makes a confused face about it while Fadel pulls him aside. You can literally see the silent of question of What's wrong, why are you looking like that? in Style's eyes.

Fadel asks what Style is doing. "Making you a fake passport, duh. In case you need to run." This seemed pretty self-explanatory to Style, but apparently it wasn't. Fadel asks "Didn't you say Kant made a deal with that captain?" and Style says he doesn't trust Captain Christ. And this is interesting, because in episode 8 Fadel actually chided Style for trusting people too easily. But not Captain Christ. Style doesn't trust Captain Christ a single bit. Only a moment ago he confidently told Captain Christ "Promise is a promise", but in reality Style isn't confident at all that Captain Christ will actually keep his promise. Or rather, Style is confident that Captain Christ will, in fact, break it. "Cops are always looking for ways to up their ranks, right?" Style really said ACAB, huh?

Fadel still doesn't see the point of the fake passport. "Where do you think I'll go with a fake passport?" Style comes back with an entire multi-step plan. And that's yet another interesting thing about this scene: it's as if their personalities suddenly switched. The person who plans every single detail of their life suddenly doesn't have a plan, while the person who mostly runs on impulse and instinct and who tends to just go with the flow has it all planned out. Because it's that important to Style. Fadel's well-being and Fadel's freedom is that important to Style. And because that way, he'll still get to be with Fadel, will get to be right next to him. Fadel won't be taken away from him and locked away in a place Style can't easily reach. And that matters to Style so much that he now sits down and starts making plans. Back in episode 2 Style said "When you know you meet the right one, you do whatever it takes to get them" and now here Style is, doing whatever it takes to keep his right one right by his side.

But Fadel still finds something to bitch about: "It takes 20 years for these cases to expire. We'll be old men by that time." But Style doesn't see the problem. "So what if we're old? I'll still wanna be with you." And again, Style is so earnest when he says he wants to be with Fadel. Of course Style wants to be with Fadel even when and until they are old men. Of course the future Style pictures for himself still has Fadel in it. It's the most self-evident thing in the world, absolutely zero discussion needed.

Fadel stares at Style. It finally really hits Fadel what and why Style is doing all this for. He takes Style's hand and says: "Thank you for doing all this for me. I don't think I love myself half as much as you love me." This meta series is about Style, but let me just share the Thai wording here, because it has me a little insane:

I guess I don't yet love myself as much as you love me. กูยังไม่รักตัวเองเท่าที่มึงรักกูเลยมั้ง [guu - yang - mâi - rák - dtuua eng - tâo tîi - mueng - rák - guu - loiie - máng] I - yet - not - love - myself - as much as - you - love - me - [particle] - maybe

Fadel says he doesn't love himself yet. Not yet!! Right now he doesn't yet love himself, but he will in the future!! Fadel is trying, you guys!! Style's love makes him want to love himself and Style is showing him exactly how to do it. Because loving Fadel really is the easiest thing in the world for Style, no matter how difficult to love Fadel thinks he is.

Style lifts his other hand to grab Fadel's hand holding his. "Trust me on this. Just get this done. We don't know what could happen." Style is so very concerned about Fadel and the situation and he's just trying to be prepared for anything that they might be up against. Because there is no way Style will give up Fadel and their relationship without a fight. Because he couldn't bare to lose Fadel. Style already hated that thought all the way back in episode 5, and now, after everything they've been through, he hates that thought even more. The thought of not being with Fadel really stresses him out. And so Style starts making plans. Style adds that he'll get Bison a fake passport, too. Fadel nods and swallows and then asks if Style's friend is trustworthy. Style is absolutely sure of it and Fadel huffs, and then, after another moment, finally agrees to do the fake passport. For Style.

No. 3: Birthday Surprises

Last episode Lilly hired Kant for that rich lady's birthday party and Style got himself hired too. And I just love the difference between Kant and Style: Kant is clearly uncomfortable with the ladies throwing themselves at him, meanwhile Style is thriving. After all, making friends with as well as charming older women is Style's specialty. Whether it's the lady at the market, the lady at the motel or these ladies right here at this party, Style's got them all wrapped around his finger. He really is absolutely perfect for this job.

At some point Kant sends Style to get Lilly more wine and we watch as Style spikes the drink. With that, our poisoning quartet is complete — we have now seen all four main character's spike someone's drink. Lilly takes a sip of it and shortly afterwards Kant reveals her secret. She runs off to the bathroom. Style and Kant happily raise their glasses towards each other in a silent toast. Success.

That happiness doesn't last for very long, though, because minutes later they both run into the bathroom to stop their boyfriends from committing yet another murder. "You promised me. You promised you won't kill anyone again." Fun fact, Style phrases it a little more like a question in Thai:

You promised me, didn't you? That you won't kill anyone again. มึงสัญญากับกูแล้วไม่ใช่หรอ ว่าจะไ��่ฆ่าใครอีกอ่ะ [mueng - săn-yaa - gàp - guu - láew - mâi châi - rŏr • wâa - jà - mâi - kâa - krai - ìik - àh] you - promise - with - me - already - no - ? • that - will - not - kill - anyone - again - [particle]

It's on Fadel now how he's gonna answer that question. Kant says his own bit to get Bison to lower his gun and then it's Style's turn. "Fadel. I want a future with you." And again, let me just...

I still want a future with you. กูยังอยากมีอนาคตกับมึงนะเว้ย [guu - yang - yàak - mii - à-naa-kót - gàp - mueng - ná wóiie] I - still - want - have - future - with - you - [particle]

Style still wants a future with Fadel. But he can't have that future if Fadel makes certain choices. Style won't get that future. If Fadel makes the choice of shooting Lilly now, then he might be denying Style the future that Style so desperately wants. A future with Fadel. A future that Style still wants to have, a future that Style hasn't given up on yet. "Just forget the past," Style asks of Fadel. After a long moment of hesitation and contemplation, Fadel finally puts the gun down, tears still streaming down his face. Kant tells them "You two should go. We'll deal with things here." Style looks at Fadel and in a gentle, but serious voice says: "Don’t worry. We'll see each other again." Fadel sniffs and hands Style his gun. That's an 8 on the Style + gun counter. I really do think the writers are just mocking me now. Style didn't shoot anyone this episode and I just really can't see him shoot anyone in the finale either. Especially now that Keen is dealt with and Lilly is also out of the way. And the episode preview also didn't have the vibe for a shooting. All those references to Style and shooting guns were really just there to drive me personally up the wall, huh? Well, at least it's been keeping me entertained over the past few weeks.

Also, while I'm already off on a tangent, I also just wanna share @nabi-unveiled's thoughts real quick, because they are absolutely beautiful and I cry:

So Kant took Bison's gun, but Fadel gave Style his. While Bison says he wants out of the hitman life, he's so explosive that the only way out is for someone to force him and help take his gun. For Fadel, no one could take it from him unless he chose to give it up. He's willingly giving it up for Style. Style isn't forcing his hand. It's Fadel choosing to place his life in Style's hands.

Fadel places his life in Style's hands leaves Style with the gun, telling him to be careful. What really bothers me about this translation, though, is that together with the action of Fadel handing over the gun this phrasing makes it sound like Fadel is speaking a warning along the lines of be careful with the gun, it's dangerous, don't hurt yourself with it, when really he's saying goodbye:

Take care of yourself. ดูแลตัวเองนะ [duu-lae - dtuua eng - ná] take care - yourself - [na]

Fadel uses the word ดูแล [duu-lae] here, which means "to take care" or "to look after". If he had meant to say "be careful" in the sense of "watch out for danger" then he would have been using the word ระวัง [rá-wang] instead, which means "to be careful" or "to watch out" or "to be cautious".

The brothers walk out of the bathroom. Style and Kant stay back to deal with Lilly.

No. 4: Surrender

Once Style and Kant have dealt with Lilly, they meet their boyfriends at Kant's car to send them off. Style hands Fadel the fake passports and once again emphasizes that the brothers shouldn't contact them and should wait for Style and Kant to follow them instead. Kant also exchanges a few words with Bison who worries about Kant and Style's safety. Kant says "We should focus on making sure you two are safe" and Fadel turns to Style and urgently tells him: "Style. Listen to me. If they torture you for information, don't put up with it. Just confess." He ends with: "Don't you dare get hurt, you hear me?" Now let me talk about the Thai line for a second:

Absolutely do not let yourself get hurt, okay? อย่ายอมเจ็บต��วเด็ดขาดโอเคป่ะ [yàa - yohm - jèp dtuua - dèt kàat - okay - bpà] don't - agree, let - hurt yourself, get hurt - absolutely - okay - ?

Fadel uses the word ยอม [yohm] here which the dictionary thai2english defines as:

[to] agree; consent; let (usually against one's wishes)

And to me that sounds like Fadel is telling him don't consent to them hurting you, don't consent to torture. The official subs are a little vague here, the "don't get hurt" can be taken as a general warning as well. Of course from the context you can infer that this is about the police torturing Style, but in the original wording Fadel is very explicit about the fact that the "don't get hurt" part refers to the police (or anyone else who wants to hurt Style to get to Fadel) and he specifically instructs Style not to willingly take on the pain and consent to receiving injuries just to keep Fadel safe.

But that goes against everything who Style is as a person. There is absolutely no way he is gonna betray his loved ones even if it kills him. It's ride or die for him. But Fadel hates the thought of Style dying. "Style, I'm being serious. They really could kill you." But Style is also serious about not betraying Fadel. "You don't have to worry. I have a knack for surviving." Fadel lets it go, semi-reassured. By now he knows better than to argue with Style. Style will out-stubborn him, if Style is set on something.

Fadel goes on to say a few words of thanks to Kant, too. Afterwards, Fadel looks to Style again who throws him a very warm, reassuring look. It'll be fine, everything will be fine. As usual, Style remains hopeful and optimistic.

Kant says the brothers should get going and our couples go in for a goodbye hug which barely even lasts a second before Captain Christ shows up to crash the party.

And like last episode, chatty cat Style stays completely silent. Kant does all the talking this time. I think Style isn't as terrified this time around as he was last episode in the hotel room, and this time around he's not terrified especially for his life, but he's definitely very concerned and even more worried about the hitman brothers' freedom. I think Style also keeps quiet, because Kant has much more of a relationship with Captain Christ than Style does and he trusts Kant to be able to solve this mess. Kant is trying his best to negotiate with Captain Christ, even downright blackmails him. But Captain Christ insists that he can't let the brothers walk free. When he offers to reduce the brother's sentence down to five years, the brothers surrender. Bison explains that he's tired of running and that five years in prison is preferable to spending your whole life running away, because "If it has to be like that, I'll never get to really live." And now Style just has to speak up after all, because he really doesn't trust those cops: "Hey. You don't know if these cops will keep their word. What'd you do if the final sentence is death?"

To make this line hit harder, as @secriden pointed out in this post: The death penalty is still a thing in Thailand. I also went ahead and looked up some info on it:

Under the Penal Code alone, the death sentence can be applied to 35 crimes, ranging from offences against the King, treason, murder, rape in which the victim is killed and arson, to robbery which results in death. [...] According to the Thai Penal Code, prisoners who receive the death sentence can appeal for a royal pardon. The appeal must be made within 60 days of the verdict. Each prisoner can appeal only once. If the pardon is granted, execution will be commuted to life imprisonment. It is never known in advance when a death warrant is to be issued, and executions are performed only once in a while. Usually a death warrant arrives in the morning and the execution takes place in the evening of the same day. Before the day of execution, the police will take fingerprints from the prisoner to compare them to those in the prisoner's file to ensure that the wrong person is not executed. (source)

Murder is amongst the crimes one can be sentenced to death for, a crime that the brothers have carried out repeatedly. According to Wikipedia, executions are something that are carried out only sporadically these days, but it is still a very real possibility that Fadel and Bison could be facing. And it's an outcome Style would rather not see happening. Kant agrees and asks Captain Christ "How can I trust you?" to which Captain Christ claims "I never go back on my word." Uh-huh. Sure. Nevertheless, Kant lets the decision up to the brothers. Style doesn't say anything either. There's not much to be done in this situation right now. Kant manages to bargain another 24 hours of freedom. The cops leave and this time the clock of their last day together starts ticking for real. And unlike in episode 6, this time everyone involved is aware of it, too.

No. 5: Comfort

Fadel and Style have ended up sitting outside Style's garage. Style, our usual optimistic ball of sunshine is staring gloomily into the air. This is the exact outcome that he's been dreading the most (save for maybe Fadel's actual death). Style is still holding it together fairly well, but he's struggling to stay positive about this. Fadel tries to cheer him up. "You did your best." But Style's best wasn't enough. He'll still be separated from Fadel. All his efforts were for nothing. Fadel will be taken away from him once their 24 hours are up and there's absolutely nothing Style can do about it to change that now. "If I found out earlier, you wouldn't have to go to jail." Style's voice sounds miserable and it's yet another sign of how upset he really is inside. Fadel can tell that for once Style can't see the bright side of things and tries to reassure him with even more urgency that this outcome isn't as bad as it seems. In fact, this is one of the two endings he'd been prepared for: jail or death. And going to jail on account of murder for only five years is as good of an ending as it gets. But Style, beacon of hope and optimism, still can't see the bright side, because even if Fadel will be okay (and most importantly: alive), it doesn't change the fact that Fadel will be ripped away from him and that he won't get to stay right by Fadel's side. "I don't want you gone for even a day." Actually, in Thai these words are the subtext, not the main text. In Thai Style makes it more about Fadel:

I don't want you to go (to jail) even for a day. กูไม่อยากมึงเข้าเลยสักวัน [guu - mâi - yàak - mueng - kâo - loiie - sàk wan] I - not - want - you - enter, get in(to) - [particle] - just one day

When they talk about going to jail, they say เข้าคุก [kâo kúk] which literally translates to "entering jail". In the above sentence, Style doesn't explicitly repeat the word "jail" but he does use the verb เข้า [kâo] (= to enter) and so it's clear he's referring to him not wanting Fadel to go to jail even for a single day. So Style not wanting to be without Fadel for even a day is actually the unspoken thing here. Explicitly he states that he doesn't want Fadel to be in jail for even a day and while Style definitely doesn't want Fadel to be far (ish) away from him, I think Fadel's happiness is certainly also an aspect of why Style doesn't want Fadel imprisoned. Style wants Fadel to have freedom and be happy. Style wants Fadel to finally live a life free of killing people. Style wants Fadel to finally live the life Fadel wants to live, not the life other people think Fadel should live (or that Fadel thinks other people think he should live). In episode 6 Style told Fadel "Try just being someone you want to be. We'll do it together. There's nothing to be afraid of" but with Fadel going to prison there is no "try being who you want to be". There is no "we'll do it together". Style looks at Fadel with the biggest sad puppy eyes.

Fadel looks away for a moment. Right now he can point out the bright side of things to Style, but there is nothing Fadel can change about the fact that he'll be taken to jail. This is the one thing he can't do make Style happy again. Fadel looks back at Style and tries to reassure him again anyway: "I have to take responsibility for what I did. I can't change the past. This could be a chance for me to start over. I want to be a good man who deserves everything you do for me." And here's a more literal translation for those who are curious:

I want to be a good person who is worth the fighting you do for me. กูอยากเป็นคนดีให้คุ้มกับที่มึงสู้เพื่อกู [guu - yàak - bpen - kon dii - hâi - kúm gàp - tîi - mueng - sûu - pêuua - guu] I - want - be - good person - that - be worth(while) - that - you - fight - for - me

(Alt. translation: [...] who is worth the effort you put in for me.)

I just adore that Fadel explicitly brings up Style fighting for him specifically, not just a general "what you do for me". Because Style has been fighting hard all episode. In fact, Style has been fighting for Fadel for a long time now. Not just for Fadel's freedom, but Style has also been fighting for their relationship (even when Fadel was the one blocking him) and also for Fadel's mental health (pulling Fadel out of bad thoughts whenever he was stuck in a downward spiral). And Fadel acknowledges this fight and he wants to live up to it.

Lastly, Fadel says: "We have one day together. I want to make the most out of it." Style doesn't say anything and I think he's actually waiting for Fadel to continue talking, to elaborate on what exactly it is that he wants to do. But Fadel only smiles at Style tenderly. And I just love the role reversal here, because so many times it's been Style who has given Fadel encouraging smiles, but this time around Style is miserable, Style is struggling to stay positive, Style can't even bring himself to smile and it's Fadel who returns the exact kind of smile he's received from Style over and over again over the course of the series. For once, Style gets to be on the receiving end of it.

Since Fadel doesn't elaborate, Style tells him: "What you want to do, where to go, what to eat, just let me know. I'll take you anywhere." His voice still sounds like he's about to cry any moment now. Fadel smiles again. What a very Style thing of Style to immediately offer to pamper Fadel. But Fadel doesn't need anything big for their last 24 hours together. "I just want to do something simple," he says, "Go where we feel comfortable, with just you and me." Or more accurately:

It's enough if we go to our spots of just you and me. ไปในที่ของเราให้มีมึงกับกูก็พอ [bpai - nai - tîi - kŏng rao - hâi - mii - mueng - gàp - guu - gôh paw] go - in - place, spot - of us, our - that - have - you - and - me - it's enough

Fadel doesn't just wanna go to random places where they can feel comfortable and at ease, Fadel wants to go specifically to their places, to their spots that hold significance in their relationship. And we'll see that later in the episode when Style mentions that they were gonna go get breakfast at the market aka one of their spots (before Style's dad talks them into having breakfast at home instead) and when they go to the Rise Up meeting location, another place that's very specific to Fadel and Style and the development of their relationship.

And again Style lets the choice of how and where exactly Fadel wants to spend his last 24 hours of freedom entirely up to him. Style will gladly do anything and go anywhere Fadel wants to do and go as long as Fadel is happy during these last 24 hours they have together. And yes, in reality it's also Style's last day with Fadel and so Style should also get a say in what they do, but his own wants are really not that important to him right now. All that matters to him right now is that Fadel is happy. Because if Fadel is happy, then Style is happy, too. Because "it makes me happy just seeing your smile". That's what Style told Fadel the first time he thought he was having a "last day" with Fadel back in episode 6 and it's even more true now.

Style's voice is still serious and down when says the choice is Fadel's, but now he doesn't sound like he's on the verge of crying anymore. Fadel lights up and asks "Can we start by hugging you for 10 minutes straight?" For the first time in this entire scene, Style smiles. It's a very small smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes the way it usually does, but a smile it is.

Absolutely they can hug for ten minutes straight. Style nods and Fadel immediately buries his face in Style's neck. The smile on Style's face from just now immediately falls again. Fadel kisses his neck and Style looks so very sad.

He'll accept Fadel's choice to go to prison if that's what Fadel wants, but Style is really struggling with it. He can't bear to be separated from Fadel. On the outside Style might be holding it together, but I think on the inside he's already starting to fall apart. "Take your time," Style tells Fadel. Fadel isn't the only one who really needs this ten minute hug right now. And part of me wonders if maybe Fadel didn't necessarily suggest the ten minute hug for himself, but rather for Style, because he can tell how miserable Style is.

What I love the most about this scene is that we finally get to see Fadel comforting Style for once. Because so many times we've watched Style be there for Fadel, watched him comfort Fadel, watched him pull Fadel out of his dark mental place, watched him fight Fadel's negative view of himself. And even when Style was really upset about something, he never really got any comfort from Fadel. For example, in episode 4 Style spent a lot of time being extremely angry and hurt from Fadel ditching him after sleeping with him. And he also openly voices his anger and his hurt to Fadel (in the diner as well as at the Rise Up meeting). But in the end, in the greenhouse it's Style who's comforting Fadel and is there for him, when really Fadel should be the one making it up to Style and to try and patch things up with him. Or in episode 8, when Style is crying in the motel from all the trauma that Fadel had put him through that day: Fadel wants to comfort Style but in the end he doesn't and Style is still left to cry himself to sleep alone and he never knows about Fadel almost breaking after all. Style spends that night uncomforted (and remember, Style went through a lot: his best friend could potentially be dead, he had a near-death experience himself, he is worried sick about his dad and what losing the only family he has left might do to him, and on top of that Style's relationship is also on the line) and the next day just Fadel keeps being grumpy at him while Style swallows it all and puts on his cheerful face. And Fadel never even apologizes for any of it, while Style works really hard to make everything he ever did wrong up to Fadel.

So it's absolutely wonderful to see how Fadel is now finally in a place where he can comfort Style back and be there for him, too, when Style is feeling down. Usually Style is the character who's always optimistic about everything, who always finds the bright side of things and always keeps smiling no matter how bleak everything seems. And the fact that for once Style is entirely unable to find the sunshine in the rain really highlights and shows us just how devastated Style is about Fadel's arrest and their impending separation. And while it may seem like Style is holding it together fairly well, in reality he is completely and utterly crushed, so much so that he actually fails to find and see the bright side in this situation. And so Fadel does it for him. For the first time it's Fadel who stays positive, it's Fadel who looks for the bright side and points it out to Style. And Fadel is trying so hard to make Style see that bright side that usually Style always immediately seeks out. It's absolutely beautiful to watch.

And while I do think Fadel very much does need the ten minute hug himself, I think it's also part of the comfort he's offering to Style in this scene. Because he can tell that Style is trying to keep it together and to stay strong for Fadel and I think Fadel knows Style would never outright ask for comfort, because he wouldn't wanna burden Fadel even more with the additional worry about Style's well-being when Fadel already has to carry the burden of going to jail. And so I think Fadel asks for that hug on behalf of Style so that Style can hold onto him under the guise of it being for Fadel and Fadel's needs and Style can continue to seem like he's staying strong (though Style does show his vulnerability when he tells Fadel "take your time". With that he's telling Fadel Please don't let go of me just yet, please just keep holding me, I really need this right now). At the same time the hug lets Fadel hold onto Style as well, something that Fadel really needs right now, too. They get to hold onto and hold each other. The comfort is mutual.

No. 6: Family Breakfast with a Side of Marriage

It's the next day and Style is in a significantly better mood again. He's back to the Style that always stays positive. The boys greet Style's dad who immediately teases Fadel. "You're here often now, aren't you? This ain't no hotel, you know?" Fun fact, in Thai he's very direct in the first sentence already:

You come to sleep at my house quite often. มานอนบ้านกูบ่อยเลยนะ [maa - nawn - bâan guu - bòi - loiie - ná] come - sleep - my house - often - [particle for emphasis] - [particle]

This is the third time in the series that we were shown that Fadel slept at Style's place and the dad subsequently learned about it. I don't think three times is all that much, especially since we have no idea how much time has passed since the first time Fadel ran into Style's dad back in episode 6, so I'm gonna take this to mean that Fadel has spent many more nights at Style's place that we never got to see and most importantly, he most definitely spent the night at Style's place after sobbing his heart out on Style's lap at the end of last episode.

Although Style immediately shoots down both his dad's teasing as well as my headcanon right the next sentence:

It's not that often, no? ไม่บ่อยขนาดนั้นป่ะ [mâi - bòi - kà-nàat nán - bpà] not - often - that much - ? Official subs: He's not here often enough, more like.

Maybe this really is only the third time, after all. Style then mentions that they're going to get breakfast at the market and I'm happy the market gets at least a last mention. It is one of their spots after all. But Style's dad talks them into having breakfast at home. Fadel is a bit hesitant at first, but Style's dad orders them to sit down, because "You're dating Style. You're as good as being my family." Style throws Fadel a very satisfied look. His dad considering Fadel as basically his family is most definitely something Style is very pleased to hear. And so am I, because I was really hoping Style's dad would adopt Fadel. The boys sit down and Style immediately starts bragging about Fadel's burger making skills.

Style has some friendly banter with his dad and then at some point his dad turns to Fadel and asks "Well, Fadel. What are your plans for the future? Are you going to flip burgers for the rest of your life?" Style's happy face immediately turns serious when he looks over at Fadel. It's a risky question, considering Fadel most definitely will not be flipping burgers for at least the next five years. But Fadel says "It's my favorite thing to do. I guess I'll keep doing it" and Style is back to cheerfully bantering with his dad when his dad suggests Fadel opens a franchise. All Style's dad has to say to his son's teasing, though, is: "Hey, you gotta plan these things out thoroughly if you want to keep seeing each other. And since gay marriage is legal now, you two should definitely do that." And now I understand why we had to wait for what felt like forever for the series to air after they finished shooting. Even though we really weren't waiting all that long anyway, let's be real. I'm assuming they made sure to strategically air this episode until after the day same-sex marriage bill officially took effect on in Thailand (for future reference: this episode aired 13 days later). And yeah. This is the fourth reference to marriage we've gotten around Fadel and Style (here's the first one, if you missed the untranslatable pun). If they don't actually get married next episode, I'm going to fly to Thailand and personally strangle P'Jojo and his writers a little bit with my own two hands.

Fadel quietly smiles to himself while Style is a little bit done™ (affectionate) with his dad: "Don't jump the gun, old man. We just started dating." Actually, what Style says to his dad in Thai in the first sentence is "Don't 'wer'!":

อย่าพูดเวอร์ดิ [yàa - pûut - wer - dì] don't - speak - wer (over) - [particle]

If you forgot what the slang term เวอร์ [wer] means or you if you didn't read my ep3 or ep10 meta, let me just quickly drop my explanation from last week's meta here:

One of my irl-friends explained it to me a few months ago and I don't remember her exact wording (it was an oral conversation while we were out and about, not a written one) but she told me it comes from the English word "over" and it is used in the context of indicating that someone is being too much in the sense of someone is overdoing something (someone is doing/saying something that is "over" the level that the situation calls for). This article translates this slang term as "exaggerate" or "overstate" or "overreact".

So yeah, Style is more or less telling his dad not to be so extra with his words, because Style only just started dating Fadel. But his dad doesn't care. "Whatever. If you're getting married, do it before I die." Fadel and Style look at each other. Style's smile disappears from his face again. Their hands find each other under the table out of sight from Style's dad. If only they actually could get married soon. But they can't. Not for another five long years. But the truth isn't exactly something they can just share at the family breakfast table. Sorry, we can't get married, because I'm/my boyfriend is going to prison for a few years, because I/he regularly murdered people. Imagine that. But Fadel finds a way to smoothly talk himself out of this sticky situation. "Give me five years," he says. Style swallows. He hates those five years. Fadel continues. "I just want to save up enough money and I'll come talk to you, Dad." Now this is a language/cultural thing that doesn't really work in English, because first of all, you wouldn't call your friend's parents "mom" and "dad" and second of all, Fadel is actually using the word "dad" as a pronoun here, which is also strange in English, because you would be talking in 3rd person here, if you're directly addressing the dad:

Then I'll come talk to dad again. เดี๋ยวผมมาคุยกับพ่ออีกทีนะครับ [dĭieow - pŏm - maa - kui - gàp - pôh - ìik tii - ná - kráp] moment - I - come - talk, chat - with - dad - another time - [na] - [krub]

Style's dad is very delighted and pleased at being called "dad" by his son's boyfriend (as opposed to "uncle"), though he teases Fadel about it. His dad's reaction has Style smile again. Actually, I just adore this silent communication between Style and his dad here so much:

I think Style is quite happy to see how his dad is so chill about Fadel, so open to and almost kind of excited about accepting Fadel as a member of his family, especially considering we now know that this is the first time Style has brought anyone home and we also know from episode 5 that Style was really worried about his dad's reaction to him liking men. A few of you are likely familiar with the relief that Style must be feeling here. And then his dad also acknowledges it with a smile and a nod at his son... Please. I think I might cry.

No. 7: Paintball

After breakfast Fadel and Style go play paintball. I've seen some posts in the tags about how this seems "out of character" and also about how they (as well as Kant and Bison) should have spent their last 24 hours in bed together and that it's unrealistic that they wouldn't have slept together one last time. Of course, the paintball is mostly there to be a homage to the movie the series is based on, but it really doesn't bother me that it's there.

First of all, regarding those claims that it's unrealistic that they didn't sleep with each other... Well, it's canon that Fadel spent the night at Style's place and we didn't see them between their ten minute hug outside the garage and the next morning when they had breakfast. There is a gap in the story, so you can imagine all kinds of things that may have gone down once they reached Style's bedroom. You can write fanfiction about it. That's what the fanfiction gap is for. I say go write fanfiction about it. You know Joong wants you to.

Second of all, I think it ties in with the quote from episode 6 I already mentioned earlier: "Try just being someone you want to be. We'll do it together." I think in a way the paintball is a parallel to the concert in episode 6. Back then, Style was also spending a last day (night) with Fadel and while Fadel was entirely unaware of the fact that it could have been their last night together, they were still doing something that Fadel loved, they were doing something where Fadel could be himself. And if you've been following my meta series you'll know that Style has been trying to get Fadel to loosen up from the very first episode already. So I love this paintball scene, because even when Fadel was enjoying himself at the concert, his joy still seemed a little dimmed, as if he was a bit shy to fully let loose. But now, playing paintball, it must be the most carefree we've ever seen Fadel in the entire series so far. Fadel is being silly, and he's enjoying being silly with his boyfriend without any restraints, without feeling embarrassed about it even in the slightest. And I really thank the paintball scene to give me a glimpse of this side of Fadel.

Third of all, I like that they're not just spending all day staying in bed together, because honestly, that sounds kind of depressing to me. Because it would feel like you're just waiting for the clock to tick down, with the impending doom so painfully there in bed with them. And so I like that they're going out and are able to enjoy themselves, distracting themselves from and even entirely forgetting about what is waiting for them at the end of the day. I like that, even for just a brief moment, they get to be the most happy without the dark cloud of Fadel going to prison looming over them. They can just be themselves.

And fourth of all, I think Fadel is also doing it for Style. Because Fadel knows positivity is how Style deals with things. And slowly watching the clock tick down would break Style, so Fadel goes out to do something fun with Style. And Fadel fully lets loose for the first time and he turns into the sweetest boyfriend for Style, something that Fadel never really got be before. At least not with everything completely out in the open and with both parties fully aware of all the truths. Fadel has just one day of freedom left, just one last day in his relationship with Style (or so Fadel thinks), Fadel has nothing left to lose and so he turns into the sweetest boyfriend, almost like a goodbye present to Style. He's leaving Style with happy memories to look back on, memories full of laughter and joy.

And so I really don't mind that we got the paintball scenes in place of a bedroom scene. Besides, I'm never gonna say no to JoongDunk having fun on camera while being cute, whether it's DaoKluen playing around at the fish market, JokeZo chasing each other in the park, or now FadelStyle having the time of their lives playing paintball. At this point let me also just say, I love how Style complains about Fadel suddenly kissing his cheek, but at the same time basically presents his cheek for Fadel to kiss. Also, I'm sad we never got to see them sit intertwined like this in the series itself, so of course I gotta at the very least commemorate it here (courtesy of Dunk, I owe him my life 🙏):

When they are cleaning the paint off of each other, Style asks "Are you gonna be so sweet to me like this all day?" and if you've read my ep9 meta, then you'll know this has been a bit of a linguistic theme that got lost in translation. But more on that in a second, when another word also makes a return.

Fadel agrees that he's going to be sweet all day. Style is absolutely ready for it and says "It's too bad I didn't get to see your sweet side from the get-go. You wasted all that time being so mean to me." The word that Style uses for "mean" is โหด [hòht], which you may remember from my ep9 meta:

Style uses the word โหด [hòht] which is a word I actually discussed with my Thai friend after episode 7 and he explained that it can be translated in a few different ways depending on context, but usually it means "cruel" or "aggressive" or "brutal". I'm gonna go with "harsh" as a translation to have some consistency, because I feel like this word could work for all the lines that I'm about to drop.

I'm also just gonna bring some old lines back, for comparison (and I'm still sticking with "harsh" as a translation). Because "harsh" vs. "sweet" has been a bit of a theme, especially recently. In episode 4, when Style showed up in the kitchen he told Fadel:

No matter how harsh you are, I'm still hooked on you. มึงโหดแค่ไหนอ่ะ กูก็ยังติดใจมึงอยู่ดี [mueng - hòht - kâe năi - àh • guu - gôh - yang - dtìt-jai - mueng - yùu dii] you - harsh - how much - [particle] • I - [sentence link] - still - hooked - you - anyway Official subs: It doesn't matter how scary you are, I'm still hooked.

Then, in episode 7 when Fadel surprise attacked Style with a shower of kisses at the garage, Fadel had following complaint to Style:

When I'm sweet, you don't like it. ตอนกูหวานมึงก็ไม่ชอบ [dton - guu - wăan - mueng - gôr - mâi - chôp] when - I - sweet - you - [sentence link] - not - like Official subs: You don't like me being nice. When I'm harsh, you still scold me. ตอนกูโหดมึงก็ด่ากู [dton - guu - hòht - mueng - gôr - dàa - guu] when - I - harsh - you - [sentence link] - scold - me Official subs: You complain when I'm cold.

In episode 9, before they kissed in the ocean, Style teased Fadel:

Even when you're this harsh, you're still sweet with me. นี่ขนาดโหดนะเนี่ย ยังหวานกับกูเลย [nîi - kà-nàat hòht - ná - nîia • yang - wăan - gàp - guu - loiie] [interjection] - this harsh - [particle] - [particle] • still - sweet - with - me - [particle] Official subs: Even when you're threatening me, you're worried about me.

And moments later Style told him:

From now on I want you to use only your sweet side. ต่อไปนี้กูอยากให้มึงใช้แต่ด้านหวาน [dtòh bpai níi - guu - yàak - hâi - mueng - chái - dtàe - dâan wăan] from now on - I - want - that - you - use - only - sweet side Official subs: From now on, I just want to see you being lovey-dovey.

And the theme of "harsh" and "sweet" is coming back around in episode 11 when Style says:

What a pity I didn't get to see your sweetness from the beginning. เสียดายนะ ไม่ได้เห็นความหวานของมึงตั้งแต่แรกอ่ะ [sĭia daai - ná • mâi dâai - hĕn - kwaam wăan - kŏng mueng - dtâng dtàe râek - àh] pity - [particle] • didn't - see - sweetness - of you, your - from the beginning - [particle] Official subs: It's too bad I didn't get to see your sweet side from the get-go. You wasted a little too much time being harsh to me. เสียเวลาโหดกับกูไปหน่อยว่ะ [sĭia weh-laa - hòht - gàp - guu - bpai nòi - wâ] waste time - harsh - with - me - a little too (much) - [particle] Official subs: You wasted all that time being so mean to me.

And I just love seeing the development of Fadel being harsh towards Style and Style liking him anyway to Fadel still being harsh, but also his sweet side starting to come through to Fadel now being totally sweet without a hint of harshness whatsoever. They've really come a long way. Although, of course Fadel can't be too sweet and he still teases Style about it: "Who'd want to be sweet with an annoying guy?" Except he says it with a smile in his eyes and with the softest tone ever. Style still takes a little offense, throwing Fadel a look that is both offended and very affectionate at the same time while he grabs the hose from Fadel, ready to take revenge. But then, Fadel continues: "You're just like Bison. You always find something good in a bad guy." Style smiles, looks away for a moment, thinks, then replies: "I believe people can change." And we know this to be true, because Style once told Kant: "I believe in the power of love. Love can turn a bad guy good." Besides, Style has been proven right about people being able to change: Style has been watching Fadel change in front of his very eyes. The Fadel that dragged Style out of his restaurant by his feet would never have sobbed into Style's lap like that.

Style then continues to say that he loves a mission and this is also something we've been seeing over the course of the series. In the beginning he was open to the mission of hitting on Fadel for Kant and now towards the end he was always very willing to help in Fadel and Bison's missions against Lilly. As for Fadel he's got his very own mission in mind: Project Boyfriend. Style announces that he'll help Fadel turn over a new leaf and Fadel contemplates for a second, staring at Style almost in wonder, then laughs and says "You think this Project Whatever of yours is gonna work?" Then he asks "You think I can change?", except in Thai it's not a dig at himself but rather a dig at Style's abilities:

You think you can change me? มึงคิดว่ามึงจะเปลี่ยนกูได้ [mueng - kít - wâa - mueng - jà - bplìian - guu - dâai] you - think - that - you - will - change - me - can, be able to

It's a challenge to Style: I dare you to change me. And we all (including Fadel) know that Style isn't one to back down from a challenge. Because Style loves winning. Except Style knows he's already won:

I don't know if it's gonna work or not. สำเร็จไม่สำเร็จไม่รู้อ่ะ [săm-rèt - mâi săm-rèt - mâi - rúu - àh] succeed - not succeed - not - know - [particle] You're letting me grab you and kiss your cheek like that. มึงให้กูจับหอมขนาดนั้นนะ [mueng - hâi - guu - jàp - hŏm - kà-nàat nán - ná] you - let - me - grab - kiss cheek - like that - [particle] Is it working? สำเร็จป่ะล่ะ [săm-rèt - bpà - lâ] succeed - ? - [particle]

(Official subs: "You tell me if it works when you let me do this to you.")

To really hit this home, Style immediately makes a grab for Fadel's face and kisses his cheek Like That™. Style showers Fadel in kisses and it turns into a water fight full of laughter and love, the exact opposite of the one time in episode 2 when Fadel doused Style at the market. And on a last note, let's just appreciate Style biting Fadel's head, because biting is a love language (see section cover pic for this, I meant to add it as a gif, but I ran into image limit 😭).

No. 8: Romantic Dates at a DIY-Grave

After they're done playing paintball, Fadel takes Style to another very special spot: his very own DIY-grave. Considering how surprised Style sounds when he asks "Why is your name on this tombstone?" I think it's safe to assume that Fadel failed to mention that they were gonna be visiting his own grave. If Fadel even told Style about visiting a grave at all, that is. Fadel explains "I had it done for myself" and in Thai it's actually even more depressing than that:

I prepared the grave for myself. กูเตรียมหลุมศพให้ตัวเองอ่ะ [dtriiam - lŭm sòp - hâi - dtuua eng - àh] prepare - grave - for - myself - [particle]

I mean, of course as viewers we are very well aware of the fact that Fadel did it himself, since we actually saw him dig it back in episode 3, but it sure hits different actually hearing him say it out loud as well. That he himself did it. Not that he commissioned it for other people to do it, but that he himself did it (except for the making of the actual gravestone itself, I assume). Somebody give this man a hug and wrap him in a blanket.

This information sure hits Style, too, because he whips his head around to Fadel, his expression shocked. Fadel continues to say that no one knows about this, not even Bison, and Style really doesn't understand:

And why do you have to prepare like this? แล้วทำไมมึงต้องเตรียมขนาดนั้นด้วยอ่ะ [láew - tam-mai - mueng - dtông - dtriiam - kà-nàat nán - dûuay - àh] and - why - you - have to - prepare - like that, that much - also, too - [particle] Official subs: Why would you do that?

I think Style does have somewhat of an idea as to why Fadel would prepare his own grave, but asks for clarification so that he has the exact details and I like to think that he is also hoping against all odds that there is a non-depressing explanation for this. Style looks at Fadel again and this time his face is full of concern rather than shock. Style listens attentively as Fadel explains that he lives a risky life that could end at any moment and that he'll be dying alone. Fadel then goes on to say that he wants to be buried here and that there's no need for a funeral since he doesn't have any family and only Bison would be crying over him. Style raises his eyebrows for a moment, tilts his head a little, sighs, and then furrows his brows a bit, accompanied by a small headshake.

I think he is a little hurt that Fadel thinks Style wouldn't be crying at his grave. I think he's sad for both Fadel as well as himself that Fadel still can't seem to wrap his head around just how much Style cares about him and just how very loved he is by Style. I think Style is sad that Fadel is in a mental state where he'll just take it for granted that nobody would be willing to put in the time and effort it takes to love him and at the same time Style is also hurt that his very own efforts to love Fadel, everything that he's done for him, all of it just gets disregarded by Fadel in the process. Style didn't go through the past ten episodes for nothing. And so he reminds Fadel: "Your boyfriend is literally standing right here." Style will, in fact, be crying over Fadel. And because Style is Style who always looks at the bright sight of things, he then proceeds to announce: "I'll make sure your grave is well decorated with flowers and burgers on the daily." As soon as he's finished speaking, he turns his head to check on Fadel's reaction.

And Fadel? Is smiling brightly. It worked.

Style can go back to being serious: "And when I die, I'll be lying right next to you. I won't let you get lonely." He sits down and leans against the gravestone as he says this to really demonstrate his point. Then he holds out his hand to Fadel who takes it and Style pulls him down. Fadel smiles brightly and Style laughs as Fadel gets comfy next to Style. And there's a moment where Style stares at Fadel with an emotion that I can't quite put into words, a moment where he slips out of that happiness very briefly and takes a private moment to lose himself in Fadel. I think Style wishes Fadel didn't have to embrace death with such open arms as part of his everyday life. And I think another thing that is happening here is that Style's sadness and the heaviness of the impending separation is coming through for just a second while Fadel isn't properly looking at him. Style can't easily pull Fadel out of his lonely and lowkey suicidal mind and be his light in the dark when Fadel is locked up.

Style immediately jumps back into happy mode as soon Fadel meets his eyes again. "Even when we were ghosts, I'd still be yapping your ears off," Style says and warmly looks at Fadel who just stares at him, taking in his words. Then Fadel drops his head down to kiss Style's shoulder and Style uses the chance to sneak a forehead kiss. Fadel wasn't expecting that sneaky kiss and looks up at Style in surprise. Fadel laughs and Style watches him with a smile, but that smile has a much more serious air to it than usual. Fadel starts talking again and just like before Style listens attentively while Fadel confesses that he's been thinking less about dying ever since he met Style. And Fadel also tells him why that is:

Because you make me feel like I wanna keep on living so that I can be with you for a long time. เพราะมึงทำให้กูรู้สึกว่ากูอยากมีชีวิตต่อเพื่อที่จะอยู่กับมึงไปนานๆ [próh - mueng - tam hâi - guu - rúu-sèuk - wâa - guu - yàak - mii chii-wít - dtòr - pêuua tîi jà - yùu - gàp - mueng - bpai - naan naan] because - you - make that, cause - I - feel - that - I - want - live, be alive - further - so that, in order to - be - with - you - [particle] - for a long time Official subs: I want to keep on living just to spend time with you.

Yeah, I just wanted to put this language note here to highlight that it's not just that Fadel wants to spend time with Style, but that he wants to do so for a long time. That means Fadel is finally seeing a future for himself that doesn't end in (early) death, it's a happy future right by Style's side. A future where they'll be old men together. In a way, this is almost a response or maybe a parallel to Style saying "I'll still wanna be with you [when we're old]." Fadel wants to stay alive so he can have that old man yaoi future with Style.

This makes Style smile brightly and now his smile also reaches his eyes again. "That's the most romantic thing I've heard." Style starts teasing Fadel about it. Fadel isn't convinced. "You're making me feel like I'm being lame." But Style really means it. "You're just romantic in an oddly specific way. Who the hell takes their boyfriend to their grave? I doubt I'll ever find another one like you." No joke. Style leans in a little closer and tells Fadel: "Don't die on me just yet. Stay and be weirdly romantic with me for a very long time." Style also wants that old man yaoi future with Fadel. Very much so.

They look at each other for a moment. Then Style lifts his hand to Fadel's face and gently pulls him closer. Fadel turns a little more towards Style and leans his head forward to grant Style better access to his forehead which Style proceeds to kiss softly. Fadel leans in even more to kiss Style's cheek just as softly in response. Then Fadel leans his head down to kiss Style's thumb of the hand that is still lightly touching Fadel's face. The two of them bask in the time they still have left together. They stay seated, enjoying the nature and each other's company for a little while longer while they still can. The day will end soon enough.

No. 9: Therapy Session

Their next stop is the gym in which the Rise Up meetings are held. Back in episode 5 Style asked Fadel why he goes to the meetings and now several episodes later Fadel finally gives him a proper answer to that question, an answer that isn't just two sentences. Fadel goes because his parents were killed, yes, but Style finally learns the real reasoning behind it: Fadel prefers telling his stories to strangers to avoid being an emotional burden to anyone, since strangers don't really care that much. Fadel doesn't want anyone to worry. As always when Fadel speaks, Style listens attentively. And that's really interesting, because just now Fadel actually said:

Well, if people don't know each other, they'll just listen without really paying attention, right? ก็ถ้าคนเราไม่รู้จักกันเนี่ย ก็จะฟังผ่านๆ ใช่ป่ะล่ะ [gôh - tâa - kon rao - mâi - rúu-jàk gan - nîia • gôh - jà - fang - pàan pàan - châi - bpà - lâ] well - if - people - not - know each other - [particle] • then - will - listen - carelessly, superficially - right - ? - [particle] Official translation: When you don't know them, you don't really care about them much, do you?

(Alt. translation: [...] they'll just listen carelessly, right?)

My Thai friend explained the phrase ฟังผ่านๆ [fang pàan pàan] as "you listen but you're not really paying attention to what is being said", like you hear it but you aren't really listening. But Style does listen. Style listens attentively every time Fadel opens up. Style lets Fadel talk without interruption, lets him share whatever he wants to share without pressuring him. And lately, Fadel has been sharing with Style quite a bit and he also acknowledges that and the resulting growth: "But I just learned what it's like to share my sorrow. I don't feel so sad anymore. I'm happier." And now Style does finally comment:

You're a super deep person, you know? มึงอ่ะเป็นคนโคตร deep เลยรู้ป่ะ [mueng - àh - bpen - kon - kôht - deep - loiie - rúu - bpà] you - [particle] - be - person - very, extremely - deep - [particle] - know - ? Official subs: You’re way too deep, you know that?

I think Style is quite impressed, but not necessarily in the sense where he's completely in awe of Fadel, but rather I feel like there's almost a bit of disappointment behind it in the way he says that, as if he was disappointed at himself that he himself isn't like that. Especially because he then also sighs and continues with "I personally think I have no layers at all. I'm pretty boring." And it's interesting that overly confident Style would have such a low view of himself. But that might also just be where the "overly" part of "overly confident" comes into play. Although I don't think Style necessarily has low self-esteem, I think he's genuinely confident enough. I also remember some talk in the tags over the past few weeks that the thing about Style is that with him what you see is what you get. And I think this what Style might be referring to here. Unlike Fadel, Style doesn't really hide his emotions. He feels what he feels and his surroundings will know about it. He doesn't hide behind a grumpy pokerface where you have to dig deep to find out just how much is actually behind it. I think Style thinks he's a bit of an open book that takes next to no effort to read, which makes it (makes him) boring. But I (and my over 100k words of analysis) beg to differ. And so does Fadel: "No layers? But you're so sensitive."

Now, I looked up some definitions of "sensitive", because I wasn't sure to what extent I agree. Cambridge dictionary defines one meaning as:

easily upset by the things people say or do, or causing people to be upset, embarrassed, or angry

I'm not sure I would agree with saying Style is "easily upset by the things people say or do". He did take almost everything that Fadel threw at him in stride, after all, down to the constant stream of death threats, and Style even never really held a grudge (and if he did, it didn't last long). And as much as we all adore Fadel, we gotta admit Fadel's harsh behavior towards Style really was quite shitty at certain points, even if it absolutely makes perfect sense from his POV. The only thing I can think of right now where Style was "easily upset" is how upset Style was when Fadel blue-balled him in the kitchen in episode 4. But I think some of that anger and hurt was less about the kitchen incident and more about Fadel also ditching him in the storage room after they hooked up in the first place. Another moment I can think of where this definition may apply to is when Style cries in the motel bed, but as I mentioned in my ep8 meta, I think that crying is totally justified after the events of that day (as well as the day before).

As for saying "causing people to be upset, embarrassed, or angry", now that I can get behind a lot more easily. After all, making Fadel angry and upset is pretty much all Style lived for in the beginning of their journey and he most definitely also tried to embarrass Fadel on occasion (namely when he yelled at Fadel in the market place in episode 2 or when he caused a scene at the diner in episode 4). Although even that was very specific to Fadel, and we didn't really see Style make any of the other characters he interacted with angry or upset or embarrassed.

Another definition given on Cambridge dictionary is:

understanding what other people need, and being helpful and kind to them

Now this is a definition I absolutely and 100% agree with when it comes to Style. I've mentioned it in multiple of my metas already that Style likes to help and he also tends to mediate. As a mediator, he would have to be understanding of the needs of the people involved in the conflict in order to diffuse the situation with as little harm as possible.

Merriam-Webster also gives this definition:

delicately aware of the attitudes and feelings of others

We see this true especially with Fadel. Style is excellent at reading Fadel. We see it over and over again how Style will observe Fadel, will watch him closely, will watch him intently, will listen to him attentively, will read him and knows exactly what to say or how to act, especially the better he gets to know Fadel and the more he starts to care about Fadel. And personally I like to think that this is a skill that Style learned through his mother's illness and her death. While his mother was sick and dying, things must have been very emotionally difficult and likely also very tense at home and when his dad lost his bearings after the mother's death, Style probably also got quite some practice in reading and being aware of the attitudes and feelings of others (namely of his dad, back then).

I don't know in which way Fadel meant it when he said Style is sensitive, but he does hit the nail on the head with his next point: "You just mask it all under your jokes." Fadel got to witness this up close on their little road trip adventure. In his anger and hurt he wasn't exactly on his best behavior towards Style, but despite that Style kept flirting, kept yapping, kept making jokes about using the complimentary gifts or wanting his body to be dumped in a beautiful place so his ghost could haunt nature. I touched on it a little bit in my ep8 meta (section 2, the last 2-3 paragraphs) and then in a bit more detail throughout my ep9 meta, but I think Style was actually hurt by Fadel's behavior. And I think Fadel was kinda aware of it. If not in episode 8, then at the very least he realized it in episode 9 when Style was on his knees offering his life. And I just love that we have this confirmation that Fadel has learned to read Style just as much as Style has learned to read Fadel. They know each other equally.

Style replies: "Everyone has their own way of dealing with sadness, right? You pretend it doesn't hurt. I bury it under my positivity." And here's the literal wording, for those who are curious:

Someone like you uses indifference. อย่างมึงอ่ะก็ใช้ความด้านชา [yàang - mueng - àh - gôh - chái - kwaam dâan chaa] like - you - [particle] - [sentence link] - use - indifference As for me, I use cheerfulness. ส่วนกูก็ใช้ความร่าเริง [sùuan - guu - gôh - chái - kwaam râa rerng] as for - me - [sentence link] - use - cheerfulness

And I like to think this is also something Style probably learned or even actively chose to start doing through his mothers illness and death. We've seen Style use positivity/cheerfulness to deal with his problems plenty of times throughout the series and not just directly opposite Fadel, but also when Fadel wasn't around, most notably in episode 6 when Style and Kant were stood outside a locked restaurant as well as in episode 7 when Style and Kant were in the showers and Kant brought up the brothers' suspicious behavior. In my metas I didn't really explicitly say that Style's jokes were a mask or that he was using his cheerfulness to bury his problems, but when writing about the aforementioned scene of episode 6 I did say this in my ep6 meta:

And what's interesting about it is that during that little chat Style isn't even all that depressed, despite still not having any clue whatsoever about Fadel's whereabouts. In fact, he actually sounds kind of cheerful when he asks and talks about the cat, unlike in the scene before where he was simply just miserable. Style's tone as well as his expression do both get more serious when he says "I guess [the cat] misses Bison, then. He’s a food source, after all", but no matter how troubled he is about the whole situation, no matter how worried he is about Fadel's well-being and no matter how much he misses him, he won't let himself wallow in misery.

(bolded for emphasis)

And for the shower scene in episode 7 I wrote the following:

Just like in episode 6, Style refuses to just sit there in misery. He refuses to be stressed as long as there is still a small glimmer of hope that things end well. Yes, Fadel has been acting weird, but until Style has definite proof that something is indeed extremely wrong, he'll go and enjoy life. As long as there is still a positive, plausible explanation or a positive way out, he'll go and enjoy life. There could be something wrong, but there doesn't have to be and so Style chooses to hold onto the thought that there isn't anything wrong for now until proven otherwise. And with that energy, he goes bowling that same night.

He won't let himself wallow in misery and episode 11 explicitly confirms that this is indeed exactly how he deals with a situation and that Style is also very much aware of it. Honestly, I love getting the confirmation that Style is self-aware. I mean, I figured, because I know my boy Style is a smart man, but still, it's nice to have it explicitly stated in canon as well.

But this day and especially this place isn't about Style at all and so he brings the conversation back around to Fadel: "But I don't want you to think you're a burden to anyone." It's important to Style that Fadel really understands that. And it's even more important that Fadel understands that he most definitely isn't a burden to Style specifically. Style has finally managed to get Fadel to trust him enough to open up and to share and Style just wants Fadel to keep on sharing. "Whatever you're feeling, I'm here if you need to dump it on someone," Style says. Fadel laughs a little, then amusedly asks "Whatever I'm feeling?" Style smiles a bit, then determinedly gets up and firmly confirms: "Whatever you're feeling." Fadel challenges him a little: "If I get sad?" Style walks two steps towards Fadel, then says "I'll cry with you. I'll wipe your tears." We haven't yet seen Style cry with Fadel, but we did very much watch him gently wipe tears from Fadel's face only last episode. Fadel knows that Style is speaking the truth, because Style has done it before. And Style knows Fadel knows it's true. There is no doubt about it, because Style has already done what he says he will do. Fadel smiles and asks "If I'm happy?" Style walks two more steps towards him, saying "I'll laugh with you." This, too, is something they've done together on quite a few occasions by now, most recently only mere hours ago when they were playing paintball. This, too, is something that Style has already proven to be true. Style looks at Fadel expectantly, ready to shoot back a confident answer in the blink of an eye for whatever other mood Fadel is throwing at him. But Fadel is completely serious now, no longer challenging Style. He no longer needs to, Fadel already believes him, because Style has already proven his words to be true even before they were out of his mouth. In a serious tone, Fadel goes "And if I..." and the way Fadel trails off is quite reminiscent of the way Style trailed off in episode 4 when he said "Having a boyfriend is great. You have someone to embrace, to love, and to…" Style takes his last step towards Fadel, sits in his lap, straddling him, and says "I'll help." Then he kisses Fadel, proving these words to be true, too, just like the other ones.

They won't get to kiss each other for five long years, so Style wants to stock up. When they're done kissing, Style moves into a hug. But Fadel leans forward for a moment to kiss Style's neck and Style actually looks surprised and a little caught off guard with the way he blinks and raises his eyebrows.

No matter how cheerful of a front Style has been putting up all day and no matter how much he genuinely was cheerful at certain points since they got up this morning, deep down Style has been in pain about the impending separation all day, too. And right then and there, wrapped in Fadel's arms, with his face where Fadel can't see it... Style finally lets himself feel that pain. At least a little bit. Unlike Fadel in episode 6, Style is not (yet) crying.

And this right here is exactly why I think it's good they went out and played paintball. Because Style already looked so sad the night before during the ten minute hug, and now that he's back in Fadel's arms again he looks even more miserable. He looks like he's about to start crying any second. If they'd spent all day in bed, even if they had slept together (even if multiple times), I think during the downtimes where they would have just been cuddling Style would have just been miserable as he feels the minutes, the hours passing by. And I don't think Fadel would have wanted Style to spend his last 24 hours with Fadel feeling sad and upset and dreading the moment they have to say goodbye. Especially because Fadel is fully aware of the fact that Style uses positivity and cheerfulness to deal with sadness. And I'm glad Style got to have at least a few hours where he was completely distracted from his hurt about the separation and where he was able to genuinely smile and be happy and have fun without feeling awful. Because the grief will catch up soon enough. The grief is already catching up. They remain seated holding onto each other like this for probably quite a while.

No. 10: A Present

The last stop of the day before Fadel has to go is, of course, the Heart Burger restaurant. Style is back to being his smiley self. He's standing in the kitchen with Fadel, about to prepare some food, because Fadel wants to cook food with his partner that is do what he loves with the person that he loves. Fadel loudly announces that it makes him happy and then smiles towards the table, looking almost kind of shy. Style watches Fadel fondly, his expression loving and warm.

Fadel opens up about his history in the restaurant business and says he likes Heart Burger best, to the point where he was considering running it as a serious business once he'd quit being a killer. Style's expression turns a little more neutral while he's intently listening to Fadel talk. But then Fadel says "Who'd have thought…" and trails off and Style's smile from before is gone completely.

I think there are two things happening here: the first thing is that Style's need to help (especially those he loves) immediately has him try thinking of a solution where the Heart Burger might be saved while Fadel goes to prison. And the second thing, which is more subconscious I think, is that the impending goodbye really hits him again. His main concern is Fadel and how to keep Fadel's restaurant safe for him while Fadel is gone, but I think for a moment he's also feeling very much not okay again about Fadel being taken away from him in the first place. Then Style's eyebrows shoot up as a solution pops into his mind: "You want me to run this place while you're gone?" Fadel looks up, sees Style's very serious and earnest expression, huffs a little and says: "Just focus on your garage. I don't want this place to go out of business just yet." He smiles a cheeky little smile while he says the second sentence and his teasing works. For a moment Style comes out of his serious mood as he complains "Oh, you underestimate me". Actually, I asked my friend about the expression ดูถูก [duu tùuk] that Style uses here and my friend translated it as "to insult":

Don't you think you're insulting me a bit too much? มึงดูถูกกูไปป่ะวะ [mueng - duu tùuk - guu - bpai - bpa - wá] you - insult - me - to (much) - ? - [particle]

Style immediately goes back to being earnest and serious when he says "With a little training, I can do it, you know?" Fadel looks at Style, his expression warm, and Style gives him an encouraging little nod. He is very much willing to put in the effort for Fadel. If Fadel loves this restaurant and wants to do it as a full-time job then Style will happily do everything that he can to keep it safe for Fadel until Fadel returns.

Fadel takes off his gloves, then reaches for his pocket and says "You don't need to" and the first time I watched the episode for a split second I thought he was about to pull out a ring and propose to Style right then and there. And with the way Style looks down towards Fadel's hand I wonder if Style was thinking the same thing for just a moment. What Fadel pulls out isn't exactly a ring, but it might as well be: it's the Heart Burger pin. The very pin that they argued about the third time they met back in episode 1. The very pin that Fadel so irritably demanded to get back. Fadel is now holding that very pin out to him. Style just stares at it, not moving a muscle. Fadel then says out loud that he's giving it to Style and Style looks at him and, still in shock, asks:

But you're very protective of it, aren't you? แต่มึงหวงมากเลยไม่ใช่หรอ [dtàe - mueng - hŭuang - mâak loiie - mâi châi - rŏh] but - you - protective - very much - no - ? Official subs: But you love it so much, don’t you?

Style uses the word หวง [hŭuang] here which in series will often get translated as "possessive" or "jealous" (especially when it's used to refer to being หวง [hŭuang] about a person), but my friend explained that this word is also used to express that the thing is something you wanna keep to yourself, something you wanna keep in your sight (in the words of my friend: "Normally you would never let this out of your sight"). He also explained that when it's an object you might also have a certain way to use it/go about it. I thought "protective" would work quite well as a translation here, because it also implies that you want to keep the thing in your sight to watch over it.

So Style is very surprised that Fadel is actually entrusting him with the pin since Fadel is so หวง [hŭuang] about it and Fadel explains: "That's exactly why I want you to take care of it." Style searches Fadel's face, still in disbelief, but he's starting to smile now. Fadel moves to put it on him right above his heart and Style's smile grows bigger, but then falls a little again when Fadel looks away. Style's eyes stay fixed on Fadel while Fadel puts the pin on Style's shirt. In the middle of the action Fadel looks up at Style's face and Style smiles small fond smiles at him as he keeps staring at him. He is so in love.

Fadel is done attaching the pin and speaks compliments, looking proudly at the pin. Style falls into his own world a little bit as he looks down at it. Quiet wonder and amazement grows on his face while he lifts his head, lost in thought, and then looks back down at the pin.

This may not have been an actual marriage proposal, but it is as good as one. Style finally comes back to reality. He turns to Fadel and says: "It feels really safe when you're by my side." And it's so nice to see what a long way Style, too, has come from "It feels so weird every time I'm with you. Sometimes you make me feel so scared, and sometimes you make me feel so safe" back in episode 5. Style smiles at Fadel very fondly again. Fadel looks up surprised and smiling a little, too. In the end he laughs and comments "What is that, all of a sudden? Gives me the creeps." Fun fact, in Thai he's not creeped out but:

I'm gonna puke. จะอ้วก [jà - ûuak] will - puke

Still happy, Fadel instructs Style to cut the onions (is it onions because we're about to lead into a scene that has us go "is someone cutting onions or why are my eyes wet"?) and Style smiles brightly at Fadel and amusedly shakes his head at Fadel's reaction to his words. Then he turns towards the cutting board, but not without looking at Fadel one more time.

The scene ends in a montage of the two of them by the stove, making their burgers all while they smile together, laugh together, and constantly look at each other.

No. 11: The Last Supper

Dinner is done, the table is set, and the two of them are ready to eat. Style is impressed. "I want our last dinner to be special," says Fadel. Style looks up at him, eyes wide in shock. "Don't say 'last dinner'." Style doesn't wanna hear it. It's not gonna be their last. It's just not. "We'll be together when you're out of prison." Actually what Style says here is:

We'll get to eat more [meals] when you're out of jail. เดี๋ยวมึงออกมาจากคุกก็ได้กินอีก [dĭieow - mueng - òhk maa jàak - kúk - gôh - dâai - gin - ìik] moment - you - come out of - jail - [sentence link] - get to - eat - more

And this wording just really reminds me of episode 6 after the concert when Fadel promised "When I'm back, there'll be more nights like this." It's not just that they'll be together in general when Fadel is back, but they'll be able to do specific activities together again. This activity specifically. Eating dinner together. (Though from the behind the scenes we already know that Fadel will be keeping his own promise, too. EDIT: Joke's one me, turns out it's a deleted scene that never made it into an episode. I cry.) In a way, Style's words are as much of a promise as Fadel's words were after the concert. Or rather, Style's words are a firm decision. A fact, even. In five years they'll be eating more dinners, any other option is absolutely and entirely out of the question.

But for Fadel, the future isn't so clear: "I don't know what the future holds. I just want to make the most out of tonight." Style doesn't try to convince Fadel otherwise, but instead says "Let's plan our life, then." And that's interesting, because this is the second time this episode that Style is planning something or wants to plan something where Fadel, who's usually the planner out of the two of them, doesn't have any plans at all. Style's relationship with Fadel is so important to Style that even he starts planning now. Though I think this time around it's more than that. Style is very well aware of the fact that Fadel is a planner, well aware that Fadel plans out his whole life. But now, Fadel suddenly faces uncertainty for his future. And I think when Style offers to make plans it's also an offer of comfort, because he knows having plans gives Fadel reassurance. And if plans are what Fadel needs to stay confident in his relationship with Style throughout his time in prison, then Style will gladly sit down and make those plans. He'll do anything to make Fadel feel better and he'll also do anything to keep Fadel by his side. Because giving up (on) Fadel is simply just not an option. In a way this also parallels how Fadel was trying to look for the bright side earlier in the episode when Style couldn't. Now Style is trying to make plans when Fadel can't. But Fadel doesn't follow, so Style elaborates:

Let's plan how we're gonna be in a relationship while you're in jail. วางแผนว่าเราจะคบกันยังไงอ่ะ ตอนมึงอยู่ในคุก [waang păen - wâa - rao - jà - kóp gan - yang-ngai - àh • dton - mueng - yùu - nai - kúk] to plan - that - we - will - date, be a couple - how - [particle] • when, while - you - be - in - jail Official subs: Let's plan how we're going to make this work while you're in prison.

Because of course Fadel going to jail is not equal to a break-up in Style's mind, the same way Fadel's death threats didn't mean they were broken up either. And obviously they're still gonna be a couple while Fadel is in jail. But Fadel doesn't see how that's possible:

How can we be in a relationship? จะคบยังไงอ่ะ [jà - kóp - yang-ngai - àh] will - date, be a couple - how - [particle] Official subs: How are we going to do that? You'll be on the outside and I'll be on the inside. มึงก็อยู่ข้างนอก กูอยู่ข้างใน [mueng - gôh - yùu - kâang nôk • guu - yùu - kâang nai] you - [sentence link] - be - outside • I - be - inside Official subs: You'll be here while I'm there.

Style doesn't say anything for a moment and Fadel continues speaking: "Style… You don't have to wait for me. Just do what you want to do. Think of our time together… as a fun period of your life." Style looks at Fadel, almost in shock and says "No." Style's voice is a little shaky, he almost sounds a bit scared. Fadel is not breaking up with him just because he's going to prison, Style absolutely will not let that happen. "It doesn't have to be a big deal," he says, his voice now steady again. Fun fact, in Thai he actually explicitly says that คุก [kúk] (= jail) doesn't have to be a big deal. So what if Fadel is in jail? "I can visit you every week." But Fadel simply cannot imagine a world where someone would put in so much effort for him: "I'll just be a burden to you."

Except, there is someone out there who is more than happy to put in all that effort and it's Style. "What burden? I'm willing to take it." When Style says that he's willing to take on the burden there is so much urgency and a little bit of desperation in his voice. And I think it's not just because it's important to him that Fadel understands it for his (Fadel's) mental well-being, but I think Style is also hurt that Fadel is currently in the process of disregarding Style's own feelings on the matter again as he has done many times before. Fadel can have as much trauma as he wants and Style is understanding of that, of course, but it's still not a great experience to constantly receive messages along the lines of "you're feelings aren't real, what you think doesn't matter, I don't believe you". Because Style really means it when he says he still wants this relationship to continue even with Fadel in prison and he means it when he says he can (and will) visit him weekly. And it hurts Style that Fadel just refuses to see that, refuses to acknowledge that in any way. This relationship is made out of two people and Style also has his own agency here which Fadel is just completely brushing aside when he insists that Style wouldn't do the things Style says he would. And that just hurts, especially when Style has proven his words to be true over and over again. Fadel's behavior is not entirely fair to Style.

Style is so very willing to take the burden and he's starting to get stressed, because no matter what he says Fadel just won't believe him. Fadel just continues to disregard Style's wants and needs and predicts a dark future instead: "At first, you will. But you won't always be able to. You're out here, you will meet a whole lot of people." Style, however, can read Fadel pretty well by now and he comes to a realization as Fadel is speaking:

So you're... scared I'll forget you, aren't you? นี่มึง... กลัวกูลืมมึงใช่มั้ย [nîi - mueng... gluua - guu - leum - mueng - châi mái] [interjection] - you... scared - I - forget - you - right? Official subs: Are you… scared of being forgotten?

And I think the original wording is important here again, because the official translation just generalizes it and kind of makes it sound like being forgotten is something that just sort of happens to Fadel in a passive way. But I think the thought that terrifies Fadel the most isn't that he becomes invisible for the world in general, but specifically that the one person that means the most to him in this life will forget him. He's terrified that Style will actively forget him. And Style clocks that, because he's excellent at reading Fadel and directly calls him out on it, giving Fadel no real out, making Fadel face his fear.

Fadel takes a while to reply as he goes through a whole emotional journey first. Style keeps his eyes fixed on him. Then Fadel finally says: "What else can I do? When I'm in there, all I'll do is think… if you forgot me already." Style knew this answer was coming and is quick to reply. He leans forward. "How could I forget you?" No, really, how could Style ever forget Fadel? Style sounds almost a bit offended when he asks this. "You dragged me out of this place. We ran away from gunshots hand in hand. We slept together in the woods and kissed in the ocean." Just like before, there is urgency in Style's voice. What he is saying here is important to him. And there is also a bit of desperation again which grows the longer he speaks. Because in reality, Style is also scared as much as Fadel is. Both of them are scared of losing the other, but in entirely different ways. Fadel is scared that Style will forget him and so he deals with it by preemptively pushing Style away before he can get hurt from Style (potentially) dumping him like Fadel has been dumped before (or so Fadel thought). Fadel deals with it by preemptively locking his heart up again and with that locking Style out of it. And through that he's also the cause of Style's fear. Because Style doesn't want to be pushed out, doesn't want to stand in front of Fadel's locked heart. He wants to stay with Fadel. But when Fadel is in prison for five long years it'll be much harder to pull him out of his downward spiral whenever Fadel starts having doubts again. And Style is terrified of losing Fadel right then and there, just because Fadel is already predicting the worst and is completely disregarding the reality of Style's feelings again. By the end Style's voice is really desperate and stressed when he says:

Experiences like these aren't easy to come by. (lit. "aren't easy to find.") ประสบการณ์แบบนี้มันไม่ได้หาง่ายๆ นะเว้ย [bprà-sòp-gaan - bàep níi - man - mâi dâai - hăa - ngâai ngâai - ná wóiie] experience - like this - it - not - find - easy, easily - [particle] Official subs: Those aren't something I'll have with just anyone.

Style is terrified of losing Fadel, he is hurt that Fadel is completely brushing off Style's feelings and perspective on the matter, and Style is also kind of angry that Fadel is pulling this shit on Style once again. Style is a little done with Fadel constantly dismissing Style's feelings and actions, when Style has proven his loyalty and his feelings time and time again. It is of utmost importance that Fadel really understands and internalizes the fact that Style loves him and will stay by his side no matter what and that Fadel's behavior also affects Style, hurts Style. To really emphasize on his point, Style finishes with a firm and decisive "I can't forget you."

Style's little speech and outburst of emotion really hits Fadel. He takes a bit to respond and when he does, it sounds like there is a lump in his throat. "I'll believe you." Style doesn't immediately respond either. He looks at Fadel for a moment and then takes his hand. "Let's just eat. I'm getting hungry." Style is smiling now, his voice is a little breathless and you can just feel the relief oozing out of him. The relief that Fadel believes him. The relief that Fadel isn't disregarding Style's feelings again. The relief that Fadel isn't breaking up with him.

Style moves to grab his burger, then holds it out to Fadel to feed him. Fadel takes a bite, then feeds Style in return. If the gift of the pin earlier was an engagement, then the mutual burger feeding is the ring exchange. It seals their mutual commitment to each other. Fadel asks if the burger is good and Style replies "I won't ever forget the taste." This isn't about the taste of the burger. It's not about the burger at all. Fadel doesn't reply, but judging by his facial expression, he definitely has another lump in his throat.

I can't tell if it's just the lighting, but to me it kinda looks like Style has some tears in his eyes in these shots?

Might really be just the lighting, though. Fadel, however, definitely teared up from the way his voice sounds when he makes a "mh-hm" sound and the way he sniffs. He takes a bite of the burger and some crumbs get stuck around his mouth. Style reaches over to brush them off, but really, he wipes away a tear. They keep eating. They don't comment on the tears.

Side Quest: First Boyfriend

I find it very interesting that Fadel was revealed to be Style's first boyfriend, especially because @nnnn99999 actually brought this possibility up after only the second episode:

What if Style is not an expert player? In fact, what if Style is not experienced at all? What if Style has been waiting for his one true love all this time? What if Style just wants a man to fall in love with and spend the rest of his life together with?

In her post, @nnnn99999 mostly makes a case of Style not really sleeping around, but I know she explicitly mentioned the possibility of Fadel being Style's first boyfriend, though unfortunately I can't find where exactly she said this right now (@nnnn99999 feel free to send it to me, if you have it at hand 🙏). In episode 4 @secriden also wondered: "Also, a thought that occurred to me - could this be Style's first relationship?" So how do you guys feel about being right? 😂

In her post, @secriden then continues to say "We know from episode 1 that he sleeps around, but there's seemingly no mention of a previous serious/committed relationship so far", but if you've been following my metas you'll know that I'm actually with @nnnn99999 on this one. Especially in the Side Quest section of my ep3 meta I go into detail why I think Style likes to flirt around and loves the attention he gets out of it, but doesn't actually sleep around. Throughout my metas I've also kept emphasizing on the fact that sex matters to Style and that I think Style makes deliberate choices about who he sleeps when he actually does sleep with someone (and Style wanting to make his own choices is also confirmed in episode 5).

Side note: I'm not gonna reiterate everything I've ever said about Style not sleeping around, but if you wanna know my thoughts I recommend you go check out my ep3 meta (section 2 side quest + section 14), my ep6 meta (section 2 side quest), and my ep7 meta (section 1 side quest).

Now with the reveal of Fadel being Style's first boyfriend and with the perspective of "Style is not a player" one could assume that Style might even have been a virgin before meeting Fadel, but my personal headcanon is that Style did go out and experience a bit here and there (maybe as a teenager, for example). It's just, as I've stated many times before, I don't think Style slept around regularly the way that Kant did. We didn't even get a single mention to a past hook-up when it comes to Style, while it did come up with Kant a bunch that he sleeps around. Style, instead, has always been all "I want to find love, I want a boyfriend" from the very beginning: even in the very first scene where we, the audience, meet Style for the first time he already tells Kant: "For real, man. Quit it with your one-night-stands and just get a real lover." Style hasn't even said 10 full sentences in the series at this point (it's his 8th line, depending on how you count them). For those wondering about the original wording, the official translation is roughly what Style says in Thai, but the original wording is a bit softer:

Please, I'm asking you... กูขอเหอะ [guu - kŏh - hùh] I - ask (for), request - [particle] Quit the one-night-stands and find a boyfriend for once. หยุดเสียวระยะสั้น แล้วหาแฟนสักที [yùt - sĭieow - rá-yá sân • láew - hăa - faen - sàk tee] stop - excited, aroused - short-term • and - look for - boyfriend - just once

(Side note: I decided to translate "faen" as "boyfriend" rather than the genderneutral "lover" here, because episode 10 confirmed Kant is strictly into men.)

Just from that alone we can understand that Style puts being in an actual relationship above sleeping around. It's Kant who is introduced as the person who scans the room for his next "victim". In comparison, Style walks up to him and is only focused on that drawing of a car on his phone screen. Style cares more about cars than he does about potential hook-ups (and we'll see just how true that is only a few scenes later when Style basically makes love to Kant's car). Style isn't paying attention to his surroundings at all, because unlike Kant, Style isn't there to look for his next body count. And then he even also complains that Kant is looking around instead of paying attention to Style. It's Kant who claims that Style is a player, but Style responds very skeptically to that claim, clearly disagreeing, the tone of his voice full of disapproval. What Style does then is that he goes attention seeking and showing off his waist, but we never actually see him engage with an actual person. And it's Kant who leaves the scene with a one-night-stand, while Style drives home alone. And even though Style also encourages Kant to go after Bison, he still sighs and makes a comment about how he's "left behind, once again" when Kant walks away from him, which doesn't exactly sound like Style approves of that way of life.

It's Kant from whom we hear things like "I did that to so many people. A taste of my own medicine, I suppose" and "But I stopped doing that since the day I met you." in reference to sleeping around and ditching people in the morning. Bison also explicitly states at one point "I never dated anyone seriously. But the guys I hung out with, like you [Kant], I enjoyed their company", implying that he also isn't a stranger to one-night-stands (and we even got to witness that considering Kant and Bison started out as a one-night-stand where the two of them wouldn't have seen each other again if Captain Christ hadn't happened).

Style, though? We never see him engage in a one-night-stand, nor does he ever make any references to past one-night-stands or people he's been (in bed) with. In fact, the one time he mentions that he had the opportunity to be set up with someone, Style talks about how he actually declined it. Style did not go after the person his dad suggested to him, when that would have been an easy catch. Style is all about "find a boyfriend" and "[Having a boyfriend] is great" and "I want your body and your heart" (The "and heart" is the key part here! Not just the body, but also the heart!). When Fadel wants to ditch him in the storage room in episode 3, Style doesn't like that one bit and even straight up tells Fadel: "What kind of man do you take me for? I might look like I play around, but I'm damn devoted to love. I want to date." And that's the thing. Style says he looks like he plays around. He doesn't say that he is someone who plays around. In fact, he is quite offended by the implication that he's a player which is evident from his question "What kind of man do you take me for?" as well as his annoyed and skeptical tone when he responds to Kant's claims of Style being a player in episode 1. Style is not that kind of man that sleeps with someone and then ditches them. And he'll get offended if you try to imply that he is. And if you do that to him, if you sleep with him and ditch him after, then you will have a problem. That's literally his plot of episode 4.

Style loves romance (as we learn in episode 8 and we see proof of again in the first scene of this very episode) and Style wants to be in a relationship, which to me just makes it more obvious that Style doesn't really sleep around. Because a life of one-night-stands isn't exactly very romantic and it's also the complete opposite of the life with a boyfriend that Style wishes for. And so it's interesting that Style was never in a relationship before Fadel came along. Because Style so clearly wants to be in a relationship, wants to have someone by his side. And in episode 5 we learn that Style wants to choose who he is with for himself, but the reveal that Style has actually never had a boyfriend before Fadel highlights just how picky Style really is. Style dreams of a relationship, but he's not desperate to be in a relationship so that he'd date just anyone. Because if he had been desperate for a relationship, he could have easily gone along with his dads antics of setting his son up with a random mechanic. But Style refused to go along. Because Style is picky about who he is with. And before Fadel, there was no one Style deemed worthy or interesting enough to want to pursue a relationship with them. But Fadel is worthy and interesting enough for Style to want to pursue a relationship with him. And not just that, Style fights tooth and nail to keep this relationship.

No. 12: Torn Apart

The 24 hours are up and the gang meets with Captain Christ for the brother' arrest. Fadel turns to Style for a few words of goodbye, which include: "Don't drive too fast. Don't drive when you've been drinking, and don't be on your phone." This, of course, is a callback to the very first time they met and their very first conversation. I wonder if Style has told Fadel by now that their first few meetings were really a coincidence and actually didn't have anything to do with Kant at all.

Style also has a few words to say to Fadel. Style is concerned and worried about Fadel, but even though they're about to separate, Style is still holding it together at this point. His voice is steady and there aren't any tears in his eyes. Kant and Bison also say their goodbyes and after Captain Christ says "Time to go" and with that Fadel getting ripped away starts to become real, that's when Style makes a pained face and starts to tear up. But he immediately bites his tears back again as he turns to look at Fadel.

It hurts so much, but Style is being so brave about it. However, we can tell that he's very much not okay right now. He sniffs a little when he nods after Bison tells him to take care of Kant. Then Bison tells him to make sure Kant eats properly. Style replies "Mhm. I'll keep an eye on him" and he's smiling, but his breathing betrays him as well as his shaky voice when he goes "Mhm" before he starts speaking. But he's still staying strong. He looks miserable when he looks at Fadel, but he's still holding back the tears. And he keeps holding back his tears while he watches Fadel get arrested and taken away.

When the police car is gone, Kant turns to Style and asks him if he's alright. Style nods and sighs as if he's breathing out all the tension and it looks like he almost smiles a little. But the truth is that as much as he wants to believe he's okay and as much as he thinks he's okay and that he's got this... Style is very much not okay. And it's over the moment they sit down. Style can no longer keep the brave face up.

(Sorry, quick side tangent, but the fact that he's still wearing the Heart Burger pin in this scene absolutely shatters my heart into a million pieces.)

In episode 5 Kant told him "Once those two get arrested, we walk free" and back then Style shook his head because that wasn't how he'd imagined his happy ending. And now it actually happened. Now Fadel got arrested. And it's potentially the worst pain that Style has felt since his mother's death. His loved one got taken away from him again and now Style is breaking. We've seen him cry before, but this time Style is full on sobbing. And it's absolutely devastating to see the one character who's the sunshine of the show, who is the beacon of hope and optimism, who always looks at the bright side of things, who's always happy and cheerful and joking around... it's absolutely devastating to watch this character fall apart like that. And it makes so much sense for Style to finally break. After all, he's human too. And he's been holding it together for so long, especially throughout this entire episode.

Style did get a little upset right after Captain Christ agreed to give them those 24 hours and Fadel did have to comfort him then, but after that Style spent most of the day being happy and cheerful, despite the separation looming over them all day. And I think he put on his happy face partly for himself, because that is how he deals with situations as he himself stated only a few scenes ago, but I think he also partly put on his happy face for Fadel. I think he wanted Fadel to spend his last hours of freedom being happy rather than worrying about Style. And it's also quite interesting that Style holds it together while Fadel is still in front of him and only breaks once Fadel is completely out of sight. Whenever we did see his sadness peak through the happy demeanor, it was usually when Fadel couldn't see it or when Fadel wasn't properly paying attention. I think Style wanted to give Fadel as little reason to worry about him as possible while stuck in prison and unable to reach out and do anything. I think he wanted to send Fadel off to prison with a (mostly) happy image of Style. But the happy image can only last for so long when there is so much pain underneath. And so the moment Style doesn't have to stay strong for somebody else, he breaks under the weight. He falls apart completely and it's the most heartbreaking thing, because this is just not the Style we are used to seeing. And on that joyful note, we get to wait another week for the final episode. Or rather my final meta of this meta series. Because the next episode is already out by the time I'm publishing this. Oops.

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep12)

[ladyloveandjustice]

List of "Does it Like Women" Results and whether I agree

I find the "Does it like women" blog fascinating, as y'all have probably noticed. I always tend to think deeply about this topic when I consume media, so I wanted to make a list of results I disagree with, because it interests me! I'll likely be updating this through reblogs if my interest doesn't wane, I'll make a note in the replies when I do!

Loves Women

I agree with all of these so far! Well, loves women might be a little bit of a stretch for the first Spiderverse movie (on the other hand...doc ock...hnnn), but I think the second does so yeah basically agree.

Likes Women

Kill la Kill- Man it's 2013 again and I'm seeing tumblr make powerpoints about how klk is deeply feminist and it's actually a super deep critique of harassment that Ryuko has to wear the ugliest outfit ever and Westerners Don't Understand (person making this argument is inevitably a Westerner).

Yeah, based on the part I've seen and everything I've heard, hard disagree. But I have not seen the whole thing, just those three, I do know the part I saw included rape jokes a plenty, a weird victim-blamey take on "not being ashamed" of being forced into a skimpy outfit and how if you're bothered by men ogling you that's your weakness, and a vagina wedgie. I'm not as mad about it as I was back then,and I can appreciate the show has it's good points later on. Not having watched it also means my knowledge is incomplete. However, I have listened to really in depth breakdowns of the series (mainly Anifem's podcast), so I know exactly what happens, and yeah, the treatment of women doesn't impress me. I'm on the dislike side, (holding back on hates because again, haven't seen all of it)

...could understand mixed feelings though, I guess

Fullmetal Alchemist 2003 anime- nahhhh man, it doesn't like women, treating them significantly worse than the manga it adapted. I have a lot of issues, from how thoroughly it shafted Winry, to how it gave Riza nothing, to Dante being every cliche about a female villain they could fit in here, the treatment of Rose leaving a horrible taste in my mouth (I see arguments of what happened to her being a critique of imperialism, however I have yet to see anyone justify why the show had to continue to have her kidnapped and assaulted and treated as an afterthought after that) and some truly rancid one-off episodes.

I break down my problems with it at the end of the little FMA 2003 liveblog I did, though it's phrased super obnoxiously because I wrote it...oh my god twelve years ago oh god I'm crumbling to dust as we speak. But I break down the basics with the "top gross things" post I did (ignore any thoughts on race I had no place writing bout that tbh). The tag anime: turn your zombie mom into ethanol also goes into more of my thoughts, though again, very obnoxious and the deeper you dig the more ancient and obnoxious it will get lmao.

I have several ancient posts on how it treated Winry in particular, as she was my fave and was done so dirty, and I think they hold up fairly well. Here's a post I made about the Winry-Roy plotline, and a good response by another user. Then we have this post, ignore horrible art.

(Please don't try to spark a debate with any of this stuff, it's years and years old, I went through so much drama and legit panic attacks, and I'm not committed anymore. Love 2003 and think it likes women if you want, that's fine! I'm just trying to illustrate what I mean in saying imo it dislikes women).

The Handmaiden- This poll reminded me to finally get around to watching this movie, and I'm so glad I did! I'd go with "loves women" for this one actually,The nos must either be misclicks or people who don't understand that two women having sex on screen is not the same as the male gaze.

Madoka- I'd definitely go more towards mixed feelings honestly (especially if we're counting Rebellion) but I get the people who say "likes".

Yuri is my Job- it loves women, it loves messy women, it loves women who love women, it loves them so much, idk why it got a sizeable no vote. People who only watched the first ep? People who think yuri is "bad"?

Mob Psycho 100- Someone in the notes says "accidentally likes women" and that's the only answer in the "likes women" area I'll accept. It has 10 million prominent male characters and like three prominent female characters. ONE really really obviously has a hard time imagining women as powerful or action heroes. (this is reflected in One Punch Man too) (One Punch Man actively hates women and queer people though, Mob is infinitely better) Only one who ever gets to fight and play with the boys, and she's a low level mook, and we have to spend 75% percent of her limited screentime on whether it's actually okay to fight women, with her winning argument being "Well you're literally a child so I guess it evens out" (???) The little girl with the evil dolls gets even less screentime.

I do like that the series examines how Mob idealized Takane and how people not caring about the real her made her tired, as well as how it allowed her to reject Mob and was basically a lesson in the importance of accepting rejection. But her screentime is also really limited, and I feel like we could have dove into her a lot more. Tome is a wonderful weird girl and I liked her little arc, and I hear she gets more in the Reigen manga, but still not a TON of screentime, and even with her there are a couple jabs about how she doesn't "count" as a girl due to not acting traditionally feminine we're clearly supposed to find funny. Emi is...there I guess. There's that sweet scene with the writer girl, and the bully girl, but they're like, not reoccurring at all, as evidenced by how I can't remember their names.

And uh. the girls school episode.

Anyway. Hot take but I don't think "they're barely in the story but when they are two of them are treated pretty decently and have some depth, though there is some weird stuff about whether women can even fight men or whatever" really counts as "likes women". I'd go more mixed feelings.

Life is Strange-out of the two options I chose dislikes, but my feelings are a lot closer to "mixed feelings". I go into why here.

Gushing Over Magical Girls- lol. lmao even. The anime about middle school girls who look 8 sexually assaulting other middle school girls DEFINITELY doesn't like women. I go into more detail here.

Cowboy Bebop: Mixed feelings, probably. I chose dislikes because yes, Faye and Ed are great (you could def read Ed as nb though), but Faye also is repeatedly damsel in distress'd and treated as incompetent in her field when I don't think she should be, she can be a failgirl without being the sole woman in the action side of the group and also the least capable (there's also That Scene in the movie). also i just. it's fine that she's sexy but I hate her outfit. give her something nicer looking, it's so ugly. But my main reason for a dislike vote is the treatment of Julia. Girl is a textbook example of fridging. They really gave her so little. But yeah I could see mixed feelings.

Also do you remember that one scene during Faye's tragic backstory where she's hospitalized and the camera requires us to look down her super (painful looking? like idk how she's not screaming about it) squished boobs during this tense and important moment god that took me out. whenever anyone acts like Faye always owns her sexiness and the camera never does anything I remember that scene.

Ranma 1/2: I've seen read a good chunk of it, and this result is...surprising. Maybe by the standards of 80's manga though, who knows.

Better Call Saul- I did vote yes on this one, but I'd put it more at mixed feelings. Kim is a fantastic character, but there aren't enough women on the show at all. She's a major part of the show, but basically the only one of any note. I only voted yes because I finally remembered Francesca was a reoccurring character and she's all right, but the fact I had to think to remember...

Undead Unluck: I know it gets a lot better later but I'm not sure if a work that has it's female character continuously and comically sexually harassed for the first few chapters can ever get liking women privileges. I don't know enough about it but it might be a mixed feelings situation.

Akiba Maid War: tbh I'd probably give this 'loves women'.

Ducktales: For the second season specifically I'd say "loves women". The first season leans more towards 'like women' though, so it evens out.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend- Should be "loves women" but people are ridic and voted based on the title.

Mixed Feelings

Dracula- IIII definitely think it dislikes women, sorry guys. Mina is a great character and you do have to take it in the context of when it was written. But there are surely contemporaries of Bram Stoker that wouldn't have randomly gone out of their way to scoff at the "New Woman". Not to mention again, really random sidebars about how men are so much smarter and cooler and women should be grateful to them. I could go on about Lucy and how Mina is treated and whether that's a critique of sexism or just playing into it and how it's so open to interpretation but I'll stop here.

also the book is hugely anti- Romani, immigrant etc and I think that ties into disliking women since some women are those Romani and immigrants

It really really felt like a case where a lot of people in the Drac Daily tag just wanted it to be super feminist because they liked it (you can like things without having to make them feminist! it's fine!), and the way they scoffed at feminist scholars who had "surface level readings" of the text (aka they dared to say it was sexist) still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

The Lego Movie: dislikes women. what are y'all on. Even it's own sequel calls it out for disliking women. Wildstyle is basically the only woman with real characterization and she's the purest concentration of "hypercompetent woman must play second fiddle to Average Male loser who is the one who actually saves the world and also she falls in love with him because of course she does'. Then Wonder Woman got one line (in literally the first theatrical move she got to even be in) and Superman and Batman a lot of screen time.

Does not like

Scott Pilgrim- Don't get this result, I'd put it at likes or mixed feelings? It's literally about how Scott has weird issues with women where he doesn't see them as to full people they are, and it calls him out on that hard. The whole sixth volume is how he made up a damsel in distress scenario for Kim and always took her for granted, how he put all the blame on Envy for the end of their relationship when he played a huge role in that, Knives finally getting over him, moving on, and telling him he needs to grow up a little (highlighting how his grossness towards her was him refusing to accept that he was an adult now, and that he was horrible to her, and yes he does apologize), and accepting that he and Ramona are both messed up people and she's just as flawed as he is, taking down the pedestal he put her on. And having Ramona triumphantly confront her abuser. Scott acknowledges he has a lot in common with Gideon, the supervillain!

Roxy is a sticking point, the whole 'it was a phase thing' and her and Ramona's relationshipbeing unexplored was annoying (fixed in Takes Off) but even she had some moments of pathos and was definitely the (Ramona's) ex the story seemed to sympathize with the most.

I dunno. this seems like a tumblr lacks media literacy thing again. Did you think the narrative agrees with Scott. Did you only watch the movie.

Succession- I'd go more mixed feelings? Dislikes is fine, I think it doesn't have enough women and often privileges male characters over them, but sometimes it's examination of the sexism Shiv faces is really incisive, and she's a complex character. But she should have gotten that abortion.

Watchmen: hates women actually. Pretty much anything written by Alan Moore does.

Persona 4: I think it hates women actually. But dislike is fine too.

Merlin: Everything I've heard about the show puts in in the hates camp rather than dislikes, but i never watched it (I did watch this video on it, and the bootlicking is out of this world if it's accurate) so I can't really comment

Fables: I cannot fathom how this did not get "hates women". Not just the fact it's written by a known misogynist. I will always remind everyone that I was literally there to see Bill Willingham say the female fans protesting the misogynist treatment of Stephanie Brown were annoying and he wishes he could shoot them. I was there. I heard him. This attitude completely shows up in his work. On top of that, his conservative, women hating idealogy all over this comic. Do you not remember all the random abortion soapboxes and how hard Snow White got sidelined????

And when I refreshed my memory, I discovered the reason Snow White had kids when she didn't want to was because a spell made her have sex with the male lead and she didn't even remember that happening. I also forgot that her backstory was the seven dwarfs raped her (but then she murdered them! Girl Power!) This is only the tip of the iceberg, I rediscovered way too many screwed up things he did to his female characters. Plus blatant Zionist propaganda and a ton of racism.

Like Snow White's backstory was some dark and edgy rape revenge and she's an Empowered Woman now, only to have her be raped by the man she will marry (in a mutual rape) but we don't call it that, and now she has kids she doesn't want, she can't get an abortion because It's Evil, time to quit her job she's proud of and move to a farm to have six kids.

iCarly-- It hates women! Dan Schneider. That should be all we need but some people in the comments insisted on separating the art from the artist despite the fact the artist is ALL OVER the art, and said art directly tormented Jeanette McCurdy! There was so much content in the show that was there to specifically torment her-- the fact her character has a food addiction/eating disorder while she had a real life eating disorder and they had to have known this, the fact after hearing she had a crush on an actor then they wrote it into her character to humiliate her, the fact they continually sexualized her while knowing her discomfort with it and with her body-- I have also watched the exhaustive basically minute-by-minute breakdown by QuintonReviews. Some gross shit happens on that show.

Hates Women

Agree with all of these so far!

[bawfulio]

The worldbuilding of svtfoe is a very interesting hot mess to think about. It's like a defective puzzle: the pieces don't fit together quite right.

Especially in regards to magic/the issue of destroying it in the finale. You basically have to forget everything that was established about magic before Cleaved for it to actually feel like a sensible writing decision.

How do I know this? Because, for mad reasons, I decided to go through the series and catalog as many instances of magic being implied subtly or explicitly that it was a thing beyond Mewni. All examples are below the read more and sourced by their respective episodes

Dimensional scissors being owned by multiple beings from different dimensions, vast majority of them appear non-human/non-mewman (Shown since beginning of series)

Ponyhead uses magic to blast crystal stalactites on the ceiling of the Amethyst Arcade, making them crash into the guards from St. Olga's (S1E2: Party with a Pony)*

Star explaining how her wand needs to be regularly charged is worded in such a way that there are more like it in the multiverse (S1E8: Quest Buy You have to recharge wands with magical energy. If it goes to skull, it'll be dead forever!")

Quest Buy, an interdimensional retail store, sells wand chargers. If no other dimension has a wand like "Mewni", then there would be no reason for them to be sold (S1E8: Quest Buy)

The shard mines of Pixtopia are stated by the mine's taskmaster that they block magic. Considering that this dimension is the source of the magic mirror compacts/magic smart phones that are enable calls to anyone from any dimension, the wording implying magic period instead of a specific "butterfly magic" is interesting (S1E12: Pixtopia)

Tom's abilities in this episode (floating, fire control) seem to be a demonic variant of magic. While Daron Nefcy did say in the post-finale AMA that Tom could still create portals even after the destruction of magic (despite that same ability also being effected by Hekapoo shutting down the portal network), this fact was never stated in the show itself nor the spin-off books (S1E15: Blood Moon Ball)

Father Time, a plausibly magical being (this was never elaborated on in show nor in either spin-off books and the only answer came from Adam McArthur not Nefcy nor any of the show's writers) states that magic won't work on the wheel of time. Again, it is worded as magic period not "butterfly magic" or "royal magic" (S1E17: Freeze Day)

One of the "foolproof security measures" St. Olgas' is "no magic", with one of popups mentioning "magic sensors placed every 25 feet to ensure magic-free environment". If the school has such measures, then magic-using students must be a regular enough occurence to jutify it (S1E19: St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses)

Glossaryck's analogy on 'dipping down" is worded as follows: " Imagine the universe as this big old cauldron, and magic is the bubbly stew inside, and your wand is the spoon---Now the wand can only skim the surface of the hobo gravy, watery and brown. But if you want to get to the chunks, you've got to dip down. " Again, a singular magic, no differention for "butterfly magic" or "royal magic" (S2E1: My New Wand!)

Willoughby knows enough about magic to try and steal Star's wand to give herself a break (S2E6: Fetch)

Ponyhead uses magic to destroy Roy's shirt cannon. Roy also draws a magic circle on the ground that teleports Star, Marco, Ponyhead and Kelly to a temple where he then gives them the goblin dogs (S2E13: Goblin Dogs)

Etheria Butterfly, Moon's Aunt/Star's Great Aunt, pulls two Johansons underground via vines sprouted from magic seeds (S2E15: Games of Flags)

Rasticore is the sole person in the series to use a magical item that is not a pair of dimensional scissors to travel**. The Quest Buy gift card takes on a humanoid electric form to complete its expiration mode (S2E18: Gift of the Card)

Locked chains magically appear on the carriage door to keep Marco from leaving. Tom also uses his powers to resurrect Mackie Hand. (S2E19 Friendenemies)

Ponyhead uses magic to press the gas pedal on the car she's driving and later to repair the car (S2E24: Pizza Thing)

Magic (again, worded as magic period) is prohibited in the Bureaucracy of Magic building, complete with magic detector to find any "articles of magic, sorcery or occult objects of a mystical nature". The fritz is stated to be the result of "something somewhere sapping the power of magic from the universe". Once more, worded as a singular magic (S2E25: Page Turner)

The Naysaya is described as a demon curse. Whether curses are a separate thing from spells is never elaborated on in show or in the spinoff books (S2E26: Naysaya)

Preston Change-O, a being that sucked the joy out of Sensei's party guests. (S2E29: Trickstar)

Zedlord and Astrobell, who were crystallized by Rhombulus for destroying a planet and creating a black hole respectively. Considering that Rhombulus referred to his prisondres as "these guys" and the general design scheme of the non Earth/Mewni background characters, they are plausible inhabitants from other dimensions, not 'monsters" (S2E34: Crystal Clear)

The fritz is again stated to cause all magic (again no differention between types of magic) to weaken and fade (S3E1: Return to Mewni)

The Demoncism, with even features what Tom calls "magic manacles" (S3E12: Demoncism)

Marco suggests stopping Star's night portaling with magic glue. (S3E18: Sweet Dreams)

One of the supplies Janna brings to keep track of Star while she's night portaling is a "magic wave scope" (S3E23: Deep Dive)

Tom uses demonic magic to attempt to encase Mina in a coffin covered in sigils and golden magic chains (S3E24: Monster Bash)

Ponyhead once uses magic, in this case charging up a magic blast in preparation for facing Meteora, Gemini and Rasticore (S3E33: Skooled!)

The pillars/reverse waterfalls of magic found throughout the Realm of Magic are revealed to lead to other dimensions in the multiverse. Given the multiple pillars seen, it's likely that at least a good number of the connected dimensions use magic (S3E38: Conquer)

Marco's sword is revealed to be what kept a fire demon that once terrorized the Neverzonians sealed within a statue (S4E05: Ransomgram)

Wrathmelior has a emotional weather system that can cause severe storms if her emotions are in turmoil, possibly another form of demonic magic (S4E06: Lake House Fever)

The Quest Buy stock room is, as explained by the sloth employee, "a magical room that turns all your needless desires into pointless realities" (S4E11: Out of Business)

The Severing Stone is explicitly reffered to as an "enchanted rock" that posseses an edge so sharp that it can sever anything. The Blood Moon bal (S4E13: Curse of the Blood Moon)

In the beginning of the episode, we see Ludo attempt to steal Princess Quasar's magic bell, a possible counterpart to Star and her wand, complete with a counterpart to Glossryack (S4E14: Princess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic Bell)

At Glossaryck and Meteora's first stop in the past, it is shown that a sea of magic was already present long before the Magic Sanctuary was built (S4E17: Meteora's Lesson)

Grobb/Neverzone Meteora explains that the old women of the mountain that found her and Bork/Neverzone Mariposa as babies taught her all of their spells. There is also Wyscan the Granter, a being that will grant requests in exchange for magic he can eat (S4E28: Gone Baby Gone)

According to Hekapoo, most of the patrons of the Tavern at the End of the Multiverse left their dimensions to "get away from magical issues or power-hungry rulers". Given the lack of elaboration on what exactly those magical issues were and how Star's rant focuses squarely on her family's misuse of it, this one might have been a last minute justification by the show to have Star destroying magic feel more natural. Whether or not it worked is up to debate (S4E36: The Tavern at the End of the Multiverse)

*I am aware of the whole "Ponyheads' powers are 'natural abilities' not magic" thing but A: the statement came from a tweet by a voice actor for the show (Adam McArthur), not Nefcy nor any of the show's writers so its canoncity is pretty weak and B: something as important as this should have been discussed in either hte show or one of the spin-off books. And, considering how Here to Help (which was 4 episodes before Cleaved) had Star somehow be able to gather a group of people from different parts of Mewni (Rick Pigeon, Ponyhead and Seahorse) and different dimensions (Kelly and Jorby, Talon and Quirky Guy) despite Hekapoo having shut down the mirror and portal network, it's possible that Ponyhead being magic was just forgotten

**It is mentioned in Star and Marco's Guide to Mastering Every Dimension that Rasticore is wanted for "unlawful alteration of regiestered, protected magic items (dimensional scissors)". This implies that his chainsaw was created from a pair of dimensional scissors but this is one of a multiple tidbits from the book that never comes up in the show itself

[thekingofwinterblog]

So one thing i absolutely love about Gangle's episode, is how deep a look it gives into our lovable comic artists heart and soul, for good and ill.

Gangle manages to get the job of being in charge for an adventure, to shape it as she sees fit.

And she gets a mask that lets her act exactly how she wants to, with NO filter at all for the occassion.

And rather than actually taking advantage of this and having a nice, peacefull day with the crew as they work at a burger King, she instead goes right back to acting like she did at her old job as a mcdonalds manager, only exagerated, and BOY does it paint a picture.

She makes an interactive video where she blatantly tells the employees to give up on all hopes and dreams, and resign themselves to working the fast food joint forever.

And while it's clear projecting on her part, it's not hard to imagine her acting the exact same with people under her employee back on earth. Resign yourself to this life, like i did... Except resign yourself to being at the bottom, under me.

Gangle had her hopes and dreams of being a professional comic artist crushed, and gave up... And rather than try to balance doing a webcomic and being a manager, she basically just compensated by throwing herself into being a boss, because it was the only part of her life she felt she had control over.

When Pomni points out that it is all just a game, she really begins to crack, because it would mean that there really wasn't any meaning to it, or her job. It really was just a routine for a paycheck, one Gangle was never able to balance with anything else.

This entire section where Pomni was flirting with Gummigoo, could have been a fun time, one Gangle could have encouraged as the point of these adventures is to have fun with the scenarios, but instead she went right back to being a manager, to wanting to be the one in control.

She was miserable, and she wanted, subconciously or not, that everyone else working there had to feel just miserable as well.

Because if she was the only one who felt that way, then it was all "pointless".

She could not just see her role here as "just a job". It HAD to be something else, because she never had the maturity or life experience to balance and separate her "Job" and her "actual life" and so when her dream crashed and burned, the job was all she had left in her eyes.

She could not separate herself from her job "Mask".

And we also see that Gangle understood, and was fully willing to use her power to get what she wanted.

Jax being uppety? Use Caine, aka her superior to get the power to bring the hammer down on him, which she does with glee.

And of course there is the whole Ragatha in the fry hell thing, where Gangle(Who has very mixed feelings on Ragatha) leaves her in the frying misery to instead focus on stomping down on Jax, rather than helping someone who needed it.

Because rather than wanting to help someone, she wants to be in charge, to be powerfull. Because it hives her job meaning. It makes her feel big.

Except as she slowly begins to realize, it doesnt.

Gangle starts to crack over the course of the episode, as she slowly starts to realize that not only was she miserable at her old job(Which she already knew), but there wasn't any meaning to it anyway.

It was just a paycheck, but rather than acting like it was just a job she did to earn money, she used her power to take out her feelings of misery on other people, to try to force it to mean anything. She deliberately hurt other people to make herself feel like she wasn't a failure.

Rather than being a responsible and fair boss, she was the leader everyone hated because she was an absolute bitch.

Only at the end, after Pomni showed her kindness despite her awfullness, did she finally manage to discard the mask for good and all, and accept herself, flaws and all, and finally manage to feel free and alive again, and become ready to move on with her life.

After the truck crash, and the high wearing off though, reality comes crashing down, and Gangle suddenly realises that one, brilliant moment of selfawareness and growth does not make up for everything.

She treated everyone like garbage, and showed her absolute worst traits for all to see.

And so she thinks everyone hates her now, just like she thinks(Probably more accurately) that every single person under her at her old job hated her... And yet she accepts that's her own fault. Her responsibility.

[toothlespoggers]

I got silly and infodumped again…

The fact that crystalised despite being the worst ninjago season by far- showed that for a long time now, possibly since season 11 has had his emotions turned off. Is crazy to me. Because I know Cole had a pretty okay moment with Zane about it and he ended up turning it back on in the same season or maybe even same episode I can’t fully recall. But I don’t know how mentally fucked these characters are or what- but I feel like no one stopped to think about that for enough time. Like Cole, he’s a very caring, affectionate, empathetic guy. Yet even he didn’t really seem to register the implications this had for Zane’s mental health. Zane is filled with so much emotional turmoil that he physically couldn’t bear to feel anymore. And this group of traumatised young adults were like- “oh haha Zane, that’s so quirky, that’s so silly of you, haha relatable anyway-“ Like duuuude I don’t know if this is the writers wanting to avoid actually discussing mental health in a “children’s” show or if these characters have had such little emotional awareness and support through their lives, almost dying everyday since they were teenagers that they are so desensitised to the horrors tm that they literally cannot tell when someone is basically holding a sign over their head saying “I NEED SERIOUS HELP.”

That kinda says a lot about Sensei wu, doesn’t it? I mean he’s great we Stan- but he did kinda adopt a bunch of struggling teenagers and burden them with saving the world and then allowed them to put themselves in harms way for years, without ever sitting them down and asking them if they were okay, emotionally? Like I don’t know if this happened and I didn’t see it or if it was implied to happen off screen but I really doubt wu was any sort of a support system for these guys that treated him like a father figure.  

Maybe it’s because this cycle of pain goes back to wu as well, because he’s not the most stable person in the world either, but idk it feels crazy to me that these people that were basically family. Just- never checked in on eachothers well being or looked out for each others mental issues.

I mean they never really got a break and when they did- hell the only reason season 11 happened was because wu, so obsessed with the ninja being in tip top condition urged them to do something, which led these idiots to unleashing Aspheera and then ended up with probably the worst fate you could wish upon a Lego, for Zane. Seriously the fact they turned the ice emperor thing into a joke is so tone deaf to me like if this happened to your friend. In real life, (just suspend disbelief for a second) you would be absolutely GUTTED. You’d probably feel SO BAD. And that person? Probably can’t function like a normal individual anymore. Probably needs serious therapy.  Not a joke.

I don’t hate wu, I never did. But I just think he’s been very irresponsible with the way he’s handled his students and while he’s wise in some aspects 70% of problems in the show could’ve been avoided if this old man valued communication.

And if this isn’t based on the characters flaws. And it’s Lego refusing to discuss mental illness and mental health. COME ON LEGO IT WOULD EDUCATE YOUR YOUNG AUDIENCE ON PTSD, ANXIETY AND HOW TO HEALTHILY DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS. Because right now, if you wanna deal with issues the ninja way, YOU BURY THEM AND TAKE THEM TO THE GRAVE AND YOU NEVER COMPLAIN OR REST.

All I want is at least one episode where it’s not all about the current bad guy or plot and it’s just about the ninja actually confiding in one another and trying to help their friends out. Maybe Zane or Lloyd finally snap and have a full mental breakdown and the only way to deal with it is for them to actually talk about it and work it out. I’m sure you can make a compelling episode with that in mind. They’ve tried to address mental health in the show with Lloyds anxiety arc thing in DR they need to do better.

We need a scene in DR where Zane and Frohicky are at the monastery while the other ninja are doing stuff, (maybe I’ll work out the details more and write something on this) and something happens where all the pain and trauma and just, awfulness just builds up in Zane’s mind and he just. Has a moment where he cracks. And he stops working on whatever he’s working on. And Frohicky notices the shift in the air and suddenly his entire demeanour changes and he comes over concerned and Zane is standing there or kneeling and Frohicky puts his hand on his shoulder and asks. “Are you okay?” And Zane just doesn’t know how to respond. He tries to shake everything off but he can’t, he’s never been asked that before. And Frohicky starts babbling on trying to help him and offers to get him set up so he can rest, and Zane doesn’t have the strength to object or the will to say anything and he’s just like.

“I.. don’t know.” In a final response to the previous question. 

And it’s just a scene where Zane accepts Frohickys gesture of kindness. And while not everything is fixed obviously. You can slowly see the tension leaving him.

Because it matters if someone asks you if you’re okay. It reaches into the darkest place and offers a hand saying “I’ll listen.” And that could genuinely change someone’s life.