hanaybuns

[hanaybuns]

so a while back i learned that there was an episode of osomatsu kun where chibita and osomatsu compete to be prima donnas in iyami's ballet and it got me thinking: what if osomatsu continued and all the brothers became dancers?

so i came up with different types of dance i thought they would get into, but then i found out that theres already an official art with them as dancers!

so I'm gonna compare my hcs with what the staff came up with

(I'll add gifs for how i think they would dance)

Osomatsu:

ok so ballerino oso is extremely disciplined when it comes to ballet, but nothing else in his life.

he's a very charismatic and energetic dancer, he takes up roles like basilio from don quixote and romeo

he used to make perverted comments about the girls costumes in high school and he got reprimanded so badly that his instructor threatened to drop him. he never made a comment like that again.

he still gets in trouble for sneaking drinks and fatty food after performing though

he loves taking up upbeat roles, but his instructor challenges him to channel his emotions into darker roles, he understands that osomatsu has always been a troubled person.

when he gets angry with his brothers, instead of shutting down like he does in the anime, he goes to the studio and practices for days.

the ballerinas in his company warn new students about him "yeah he's a pervert and lazy, but he's a decent guy on stage so don't worry about dancing with him"

Karamatsu:

ballroom, the drama, the emotion, the chemistry, the ROMANCE THE SPARKLEEESSSSS karamatsu loves ballroom dancing.

He specializes in latin ballroom dancing, but can do standard as well

his instructors get mad at him because he loooves to improvise and give his partner an extra twirl and an extra lift when he can

he always ends up falling in love with his partner, he can't help it! "heh, dance and love are the same" he says.

his parters always end up almost crushing on him back, but recoil when they interact with him outside the studio

they're put off by him and his painfulness, but ultimately love dancing with karamatsu. his energy is infectious and always makes for a great show

they get annoyed with him sometimes though, he tends to like to steal the show

he will always find a way to incorporate blue sequins or glitter into his dance wear, his choreographer will literally monitor him until the day of the competition and somehow an hour before it starts he's covered his suit sequined stars (i couldn't find good gifs for him but the couples in this video are exactly how i imagine it)

Choromatsu:

ohhh choro is a tap dancer, and a pretentious one at that

he wanted to be the one to do ballet because it demands a lot of discipline, but ultimately he wasn't athletic enough

he loves tap though and he'll physically fight anyone who makes fun of tap

he mostly does solo choreo because he gets nervous dancing with girls

oh, but if it's group choreo he'll be that guy that'll correct people if they're making a mistake

when people started getting mad at him, he started doing that thing that theater kids do "choreographer, it's supposed to be your left foot on that beat right? ok thanks, just making sure" and looks at you

the people in his studio think he's annoying, but ultimately respect him as a dancer

he works extremely hard, he'll practice every single day and make sure every beat is perfect

he makes his own tap choreo to nyaa chan songs and does them at her concerts

wow it's so much harder to find good tap dancing gifs that you would think, just watch this

k so this post is getting right long, i'll cut it off here and continue later. but keep in mind that these are MY head canons and I will cover the official stuff too

[hanaybuns]

my last post has inspired me, i'm going to make a list of all the different nationalities/ethnicities that the sextuplets have been in official content.

here are the rules though:

they have to be human, so no mythological dieties

they have to intentionally be that nationality/ethnicity, so it can't be the sextuplets just wearing ethnic clothes or clothes from a country. basically, they have to look different.

IF they don't look different, then they should at least have different names that indicate that they are from that country

the anime is included, but i'm just collecting official art from games and merchandise for now

Any countries that are not explicitly stated, but heavily implied, will have an asterisk with the official name of the country in parenthesis (you'll understand when you see it)

I will update this list as i go, so this post will be edited when i find more (i'm new to tumblr, idk if this is proper etiquette lol) let me know if theres a better way to do this though.

Lets begin!

Japanese ofc

Egyptian* (Country of Sand)

American

Eastern Europe

Chinese* (Distant foreign country)

Native American* (I cannot find any description of a country on the wiki) This is here on a technicality that they're werewolves and still technically humanoid? But i may remove this one

alright that's all i got for now, please let me know if you guys find any more. in the meantime, i will continue searching

[hanaybuns]

liking osomatsu san is so funny because there is an ENDLESS wealth of official content.

like no matter how much you think you've seen, theres always more.

Are you tired of looking at the sextuplets yet? No? Good, here, have the sextuplets as... *reads off card*...different kinds of exorcists, sure whatever

[hanaybuns]

wow i didn't think anyone would actually read this haha, alright heres the little bros:

Ichimatsu: ahhh ichimatsu is a bit hard for me bc as much as i love him, i don't think of him as much as i do the others. but ichi's main issue is that he lacks confidence in himself and recoils inward socially. he also has an extremely low self esteem and chooses to exaggerate his negative traits because he sees himself as this irredeemable piece of garbage. now you would think that ichimatsu would want someone subdued and introverted like him... but you'd be wrong! i think ichi actually prefers the presence of extroverted people like oso and jyushi. i think people like them relieve him of the pressure of socializing and expending his energy. Maybe a bubbly, sweet girl would be best for him. she's a bit air headed and might say the wrong things sometimes and/or accidentally offend others. she doesn't mean it and others around her overlook it because they know she's a kind person with no ill will. but the first thing she thinks is what ends up leaving her mouth. ichi enjoys jyushis joyful presence and oso's simple and laidback nature. i think this girl would be the perfect combo of both characteristics and help lift ichis self esteem. ichi is very observant and sensitive to the mood and atmosphere, i think he could help this girl read the room a bit. ichi's heart would melt, because when she says nice things about him, he knows that it really is what she thinks. being with ichi would also inadvertently force her to really think about her words and consider the other person, because she knows that he hangs on to every word and she doesn't want to hurt someone she cares about so much. and ofc, they both love cute kitty cats. i think she'd own a one or two. her cat gets stuck in a tree and not knowing that it's hers, he'd climb up to get it and that's how they'd meet.

Jyushimatsu: kanojo/jyushi's gf/homura/homerun girl. enough said.

...no i'll say more, but not as much because she already exists. jyushi has a need to be the "funny brother" and provide levity to the family dynamic. but it's hard for him because there are times where he genuinely wants to be taken seriously and have actual conversations. jyushi is definitely a weird guy, but i think he chooses to be that way as a way to maintain the status quo. it's hard to explain, he can turn the jyushmatsuisms off when he wants to, but it's still a part of him and he enjoys being the way he is and making people laugh. homura is great because she thinks jyushi is absolutely hysterical, but being with someone like her also lets him flex his "common sense" muscles. he became more grounded in reality after meeting her because he knew that the role he had to take was different when he was with her. it's like, jyushi is funny with his bros because they're dysfunctional and they look to him for comfort/nonsense/levity. but when he's with her, he can pour his weird/comedic energy into bringing joy to this troubled girl, instead of feeling like he's being torn in 5 different directions. and ofc for her, jyushi is this non-judgemental ray of sunshine that brought her happiness in her darkest moments.

todomatsu coming soon?

see, i have so many ideas for the type of girls that the matsus should end up with based on their strengths and weaknesses, lemme explain:

Osomatsu: osomatsu is all issues... he doesn't really know who he is outside of the group, he's objectively very selfish at times, and he's somehow both a pervert and a coward when it comes to women. but at the end of the day, he's a laid back big bro who always knows the right thing to say to diffuse a situation. the girl he ends up with has to be the complete opposite. i want her to be high strung, very type A. she should be successful, her job gives her a lot of responsibility, but she's up to the task. she's not boring exactly, but she spends so much time working that she can't enjoy herself without feeling like she could be using the time more productively. osomatsu would flirt with her and ofc she's like "someone get this bum off of me." it starts as a one off thing, but he finds himself actually interested in this big boss lady. talking to her makes him almost actually want to improve, because he really gets a look at what a real leader is like. talking to him makes her admire his freedom and humor and helps her unwind. it's slow, but over time, osomatsu actually feels the need to chase her and try to win her over. in the process, osomatsu subtly changes for the better, as he tries to emulate the traits that he admires in her. i think they'd learn a lot from each other.

Karamatsu: karamatsu's issue is that he lives in this delusion where he's convinced that he's the coolest guy in the world and that everyone around him admires him to no end. as a result, he often struggles to say what he's really thinking and feeling (or listen to others) because he's trying to keep up his cool image. kara needs to end up with someone way cooler than him. just objectively this cool, badass girl. and she needs to be kinda blunt (like karamatsu). someone that can challenge him to really say what he's thinking and open up, but not rude to the point where she actually hurts him. see, she has to be the cool one, but not break the illusion for him that he's the cool one. she'd be someone who struggles to be vulnerable, and he can make her feel loved and cared for. she almost can't really believe that someone could forgive her and care about her despite all her rough edges and the mistakes she makes. but kara is like "i have 5 brothers who torment me relentlessly and i love them with all my heart, nothing you can do will ever make me stop loving you" karamatsu can use his karamatsuisms for romance and love, but she would force him to break away from them when he needs to articulate what he wants or doesn't want. i already wrote a scenario about this made up girl a while back, so you can check that out (please don't).

Choromatsu: ohhh choro-chan... see, choros issue is that he doesn't like women, he worships them. and thats all good and dandy in theory, but would make him really toxic in a relationship because he'll put the girl on an untouchable pedestal. he also lives in this perpetual sense of delusion where he's far more important and responsible than he actually is. see, he has to end up with someone very flawed and also blunt. she needs to be someone who can snap him out of this fantasy that women are these mystical creatures. unlike kara's girl, choro's girl is actually rude. i want her to be rude, messy, funny, and kinda a slob. but the key is that she's very pretty too, which makes this a very frustrating situation for choro. he'll try to tell her that she should act more like a lady, but she'll immediately snap back with "shut up, people with jobs don't listen to girlfriendless neets." and chorochan is miserable because his bros ask him if he likes this girl and he's like "NO she's sloppy and rude and annoying and she drives me up the wall but aaaaurrgghh i can't stop THINKING about her" they'll be really frustrated with each other at first, how can he/she think that he's/she's better than me??!! she's mad because despite being a neet, he actually is more responsible than she is. he's mad because despite being a slob, she actually has a job and contributes to society. but as they open up to each other, they start to appreciate each others characteristics and flaws. oh, and they're both nyaa fans

that's enough for now, i'll do the rest of these weirdos later

[hanaybuns]

see, i have so many ideas for the type of girls that the matsus should end up with based on their strengths and weaknesses, lemme explain:

Osomatsu: osomatsu is all issues... he doesn't really know who he is outside of the group, he's objectively very selfish at times, and he's somehow both a pervert and a coward when it comes to women. but at the end of the day, he's a laid back big bro who always knows the right thing to say to diffuse a situation. the girl he ends up with has to be the complete opposite. i want her to be high strung, very type A. she should be successful, her job gives her a lot of responsibility, but she's up to the task. she's not boring exactly, but she spends so much time working that she can't enjoy herself without feeling like she could be using the time more productively. osomatsu would flirt with her and ofc she's like "someone get this bum off of me." it starts as a one off thing, but he finds himself actually interested in this big boss lady. talking to her makes him almost actually want to improve, because he really gets a look at what a real leader is like. talking to him makes her admire his freedom and humor and helps her unwind. it's slow, but over time, osomatsu actually feels the need to chase her and try to win her over. in the process, osomatsu subtly changes for the better, as he tries to emulate the traits that he admires in her. i think they'd learn a lot from each other.

Karamatsu: karamatsu's issue is that he lives in this delusion where he's convinced that he's the coolest guy in the world and that everyone around him admires him to no end. as a result, he often struggles to say what he's really thinking and feeling (or listen to others) because he's trying to keep up his cool image. kara needs to end up with someone way cooler than him. just objectively this cool, badass girl. and she needs to be kinda blunt (like karamatsu). someone that can challenge him to really say what he's thinking and open up, but not rude to the point where she actually hurts him. see, she has to be the cool one, but not break the illusion for him that he's the cool one. she'd be someone who struggles to be vulnerable, and he can make her feel loved and cared for. she almost can't really believe that someone could forgive her and care about her despite all her rough edges and the mistakes she makes. but kara is like "i have 5 brothers who torment me relentlessly and i love them with all my heart, nothing you can do will ever make me stop loving you" karamatsu can use his karamatsuisms for romance and love, but she would force him to break away from them when he needs to articulate what he wants or doesn't want. i already wrote a scenario about this made up girl a while back, so you can check that out (please don't).

Choromatsu: ohhh choro-chan... see, choros issue is that he doesn't like women, he worships them. and thats all good and dandy in theory, but would make him really toxic in a relationship because he'll put the girl on an untouchable pedestal. he also lives in this perpetual sense of delusion where he's far more important and responsible than he actually is. see, he has to end up with someone very flawed and also blunt. she needs to be someone who can snap him out of this fantasy that women are these mystical creatures. unlike kara's girl, choro's girl is actually rude. i want her to be rude, messy, funny, and kinda a slob. but the key is that she's very pretty too, which makes this a very frustrating situation for choro. he'll try to tell her that she should act more like a lady, but she'll immediately snap back with "shut up, people with jobs don't listen to girlfriendless neets." and chorochan is miserable because his bros ask him if he likes this girl and he's like "NO she's sloppy and rude and annoying and she drives me up the wall but aaaaurrgghh i can't stop THINKING about her" they'll be really frustrated with each other at first, how can he/she think that he's/she's better than me??!! she's mad because despite being a neet, he actually is more responsible than she is. he's mad because despite being a slob, she actually has a job and contributes to society. but as they open up to each other, they start to appreciate each others characteristics and flaws. oh, and they're both nyaa fans

that's enough for now, i'll do the rest of these weirdos later

[hanaybuns]

I love this page about karako because like

Karako is canonically

-popular with women

-admired by the same sex

-a hard worker

And in the show she’s shown to be assertive and domineering….

Karako is literally the exact person that karamatsu WANTS to be, but as a girl.

[hanaybuns]

honestly, i think realistically a relationship with karamatsu would involve him doing way too much to either impress you or express his love and then ending up making things worse for himself and you. like, he would bend over backwards to perform these grandiose gestures for you, but really he's doing it for himself.

but yknow what? i really think we don't give kara enough credit. he's generally a pretty reasonable guy! i honestly think if you make it clear that what he's doing upsets you or embarrasses you, he would stop for the most part. like, i think he's able to give up his karamatsuisms for the sake of a situation or to actually really think about what the other person wants

so like, as long as you let him have SOME of his karamatsusisms, aka letting him give you things that are covered in his face and blindingly glittery... i think things will work out.

besides, karamatsu gives me the vibe of being one of those guys that has a post-relationship glow up both inside and out. whoever he's with will probably change him for the better.

[hanaybuns]

todomatsu and choromatsu stans are so so strong and need to be recognized nationally. Bc like, whenever I see criticism or hate of karamatsu from someone who doesn’t like him, I take spiritual damage bc I know they’re kinda right😭😭

[hanaybuns]

Ok so maybe this is just my love for karamatsu making me biased… but if I saw someone wear a tank top with their own face on it in public I would start laughing so hard that people would think I’m convulsing.

Like please tell me I’m not crazy, is this not hysterical to you guys?? I understand why girls find him creepy in-universe (at least in seasons 1 and 2) and why this is considered cringey to them bc he’s doing it unironically… but like there has to be at least one person in-universe that sees karamatsu in public and is like “wth… i want a shirt with my own face on it”

it’s such a shame we lost the karamatsu tank top in season 3. I hope it returns in the new season…

[hanaybuns]

I feel like karamatsu deserves an enemies to lovers kinda romance with an actually cool biker girl. Like, she actually does wear leather jackets with cool belts and sunglasses, but the difference is that she actually has that lone-wolf attitude that karamatsu tries his hardest to put on. She sees his “free hugs” sign and tells him that he looks like the only free hugs he’s getting are from his mom. They bump into each other repeatedly while he’s posing in different locations and she tells him in various ways that she thinks he’s really lame and is trying too hard. Kara ofc has a suave exterior (this is a beautiful woman who is choosing to speak with him repeatedly, she must be one of his karamatsu girls!), but is secretly annoyed that she doesn’t see his charm and makes fun of him relentlessly. It gets to a point where he’s basically seething internally, but bit by bit he accidentally slips and reveals his true feelings (imagine the gross cocktails he made when he was a bartender).

He says something kind of rude to her after she calls him painful/lame for the 1000th time, and worries that she won’t find him cool anymore (she never did). He’s genuinely surprised when she laughs and is kind of into it. Eventually, they actually start having full conversations and walking around together occasionally. He openly (though still within karamatsus rudeness limits) vents about his brothers and she talks about how obnoxious biker culture is sometimes and the jerks at her job (I can see her being a mechanic or some kind of freelancer). She opens up to him about how most male bikers try to play up their “coolness and machismo” by owning a flashy bike and don’t actually care about the roots of biker and punk culture. What she hates the most is how they treat her like she’s some kind of princess who couldn’t possibly understand what they’re talking about. They actually enjoy each others presence, each of them providing a breath of fresh air compared to their usually crowd.

so anyways this all culminates to a night where she gets in trouble with a biker gang and is in actual danger. Maybe she gets hit in the head or stabbed in some way and karamatsu (with tears and snot dribbling down his face in fear) rushes in to save her in the lamest way imaginable. I can see him punching them in a momentary feat of coolness, but then poking them in the eyes and kicking them in the crotch like a 10 year old. He picks her up and sprints home while screaming like an idiot, probably accidentally making her injuries worse.

They get to his house and karamatsu kicks his brothers off the futon and lays her down. He yells at his brothers (who are all groggy and pissy because they were forcefully awakened) to get BANDAGES COLD WATER AND DISINFECTANT NOW NOW NOW- They’re all super confused because WHO is this random girl who is suddenly laying on their futon??? Next day, she wakes up wondering where she is and what happened to the guys she was fighting. Misunderstanding the situation, she immediately starts yelling at karamatsu. ��So what, you decide to use me as your damsel in distress so you could fuel your cool guy fantasy?! Newsflash, I don’t need your help and I’m perfectly capable of defending myself! This is why your brothers think you’re painful!!” Karamatsu tries explaining the situation, but becomes increasingly frustrated and eventually starts raising his voice. “You think I went to search for you in the middle of the night and put myself in danger so I could look COOL?! I was WORRIED about you, but of course I’m the bad guy here because you just can’t bring yourself to ask for help!! Maybe you’re the one with a coolness fantasy-” SLAP

at this point everyone is awake and just staring at the scene unfolding in front of them. The room is dead silent, you could hear a pin drop. no one is breathing besides the girl, who is almost panting in frustration. Karamatsu touches his cheek and gives her a cold, almost unimpressed look. She looks infuriated. The tension between them is palpable, the other sextuplets are watching in horror.

and that’s it for now, I’ll finish this when I’m in the mood.

[hanaybuns]

karamatsu would DEFINITELY be the type of dad to climb on stage if his daughter is nervous or crying during a ballet recital

[hanaybuns]

i once saw someone describe karamatsu's fashion as "avant-garde camp" and I couldn't agree more. see, as viewers, we're supposed to view karamatsu's clothes as cringey or painful...

but i say: let him cook.

karamatsu understands that fashion is meant to tell a story, it's meant to express your personality and lived experience. while some of his outfits have 0 coordination, others are so undeniably camp that you have to admit he's cooking just a little.

So without further ado... here are some of his experimental outfits that i think are onto something. (suits, aus/games casual clothes, and group outfits where they all wear the same thing will not be covered today.)

we'll start with an easy one. so if you haven't seen the whole pic, kara is the only one wearing ripped jeans. not only is he wearing pants, but he's also wearing his signature skull belt. but like, i look at this and all i can feel is a distinct sense of nostalgia. because guess who also wore pants and a belt in a beach setting?

exactly: heart throb, troy bolton from the hit movie High School Musical 2. let karamatsu cook.

here's another easy one. karamatsu is now conversely the only one wearing shorts with boots in this art. boots and shorts have always been a daring fashion choice and notoriously difficult to style, but karamatsu does it effortlessly in multiple different instances. This is because kara intrinsically understands the true essence of being a cowboy: lawlessness. let him cook.

now...now hear me out here. are you saying that if you saw someone at Coachella wearing this you wouldn't be gagged? karamatsu is making moves here, he's not playing around, and you know who wore almost this exact same fit????

exactly. Honestly, with the boots and the stars, she wore it more like karamatsu than karamatsu did. kara is probably the most masculine matsu, and yet here he is, unafraid to wear sequined, bedazzled skims. let him cook.

this is getting harder to defend...NOT!!! because this outfit is clearly making an homage to freddy mercury while also staying true to karamatsu's narcissistic, self serving fashion. having a necklace of YOUR OWN FACE goes unbelievably hard and you can't tell me otherwise. also this outfit is just extremely well coordinated in general.

LET

HIM

COOK

i have many many more, but this is all i can give for now. please let me know if there are any other fits i should defend

[hanaybuns]

my absolute favorite thing is when an osomatsu-san artist draws the matsunos in an ikemen pretty boy art style and erases their bowl cuts. It’s like an admission of defeat…a raising of the white flag, if you will, that essentially says “sorry, I can’t draw them with bowl cuts while also making them conventionally attractive” (incorrect). This is especially prevalent in the anthology

These are not bowl cuts

Not a bowl in sight

Very very close….but no dice

And this is just what I could find on a Google search. there are wayyyy more examples in fan art, but I don’t wanna put anyone on blast.

[hanaybuns]

karamatsu and choromatsu, if you look closely enough, have very strong "eldest daughter" energy. no, i will not elaborate.

[hanaybuns]

Idk why my love for ramuda is somehow translating into a love for karamatsu bc logically i feel like that love should have converted into a love for todomatsu

i mean... LOOK AT THEM!! pink? check. fashionable? (questionably) check. cute? check. intentionally portrays themselves as cute to mask the horrors? check. not actually as evil and selfish as they portray themselves as but instead is a layered character that's a product of their environment and traumas? check check check check

really i should've joined the ranks as a grandmaster level 10000 totty stan, but somehow karamatsu got to me first.

...that being said, todo and kara are very much two sides of the same coin. They’re both very self obsessed and insecure at the same time, they both crave attention, they're both utter boyfails, and they both have moments of genuine goodness hidden under layers of posturing. and i mean many. many layers.

i mean...LOOK AT THEM they both have their own iconic cute/cool poses that they just HAVE to do in official arts. The thing is, Totty is waaaaay better at pulling off cute than Karamatsu is at pulling off cool, which is part of why they feel so different. Season 1 karamatsu was punished for his failed attempts at being cool while season 2 todomatsu was punished for his success at being cute. Todomatsu is also less concerned with keeping up the cute act in front of his brothers. He's more concerned with appearing cute and stylish to the public (women) and appearing normal/trendy. On the other hand, karamatsu is entirely concerned with being the cool, kind older bother for his brothers (and himself) while ALSO being this cool, handsome lone wolf for the public (women).

I think part of the reason why todomatsu is hated and karamatsu is loved is because kara's definition of cool involves being kind, so he’ll play up being the kind older brother even when he doesn't have the best intentions. But totty's definition of cute involves being spoiled, so he’ll really play up the selfishness (and brattiness), even when he has purer intentions than he lets up on. Ultimately though, their dedication to keeping up their outward appearance almost always masks their true intentions or desires (though imo karamatsu is a little more closed off than todomatsu is).

idk, maybe i became a todomatsu girl along the way, he really grows on you.

[hanaybuns]

sometimes i forget that karamatsu is actually pretty decent at playing the guitar. like, besides jyushi, karamatsu is the only other character that has an actual hobby/skill that he consistently does on screen

it makes me kinda wish they did more with it, like have his guitar playing or singing as a main part of an episode segment. BUT i also kind of like it as a prop for comedic effect because WHY does he take it everywhere he goes?? why does he just start randomly strumming mid sentence????

like imagine going hiking with your friend and he just has a huge black case on his back. you think it might be a weirdly shaped backpack, so you brush it off. but midway through the hike you ask him why he's carrying that bag around. he looks at you dead in the eyes, smirks, and goes

"...an artist must play for all who can hear. even if the trees cannot applaud, i hear them call my name in the wind" and just starts-

[hanaybuns]

dude osomatsu san angst is actually harrowing what was wrong with people in 2016???