#this show would be so good if it was good. the “gwaine” show on the other hand IS good. it just unfortunately . doesnt exist

[bisclavret]

what SICKO wrote the last scenes between gwaine and merlin is what i want to know. because even lancelot's last episode with merlin - which had to have been intentionally gay-coded since it's obvious the man is grappling with his feelings for merlin morphing from platonic to explicitly romantic - is still subtext because he doesn't have the tools to healthily express his feelings so he goes for the biggest romantic gesture he can think of: sacrificing his life to save a loved one. the writers also make sure to root this gesture back to gwen by adding a scene where she's inadvertently asking him to make that sacrifice first, so although it's very obvious that it's more for merlin than for gwen that lancelot dies for, she is there to add some plausible deniability, thus keeping his sexuality within the realms of subtext.

i don't want to delve too deeply into arthur's last scenes with merlin as there is both so much to unpack about what they mean to each other and there is also somehow nothing left to say that hasn't been said before. my point is just that there's so much at stake that if the viewer doesn't want to deal with the romantic subtext between them they can hang onto the 38 other dynamics merlin and arthur have represented to each other that the writers spent 5 years plastering on top of the gay subtext. basically, while the romance feels textual emotionally-speaking, it isn't "canon".

i don't mean to say that any relationship is better than another (even though i obviously have a preference) but that in gwaine's final scenes with merlin there's just no subtext anymore. his becomes the most explicit expression of romantic love towards merlin, and therefore the most explicit acknowledgment of homosexual love and the existence of queer people on the show:

it starts out with merlin suggesting that gwaine saved a girl from the saxons and then looked after her because he has a more than platonic interest in her, and they show us that merlin is right - gwaine and the girl eira slept together - even as gwaine half-heartedly denies any interest (which, why even deny it? merlin saw them holding hands! unless the lie is part of the point). then in that very same scene and directly after this exchange, merlin needs rescuing from the saxons, calls after gwaine, and gwaine performs the exact same role for him that he performed for eira: he saves him from the saxons and looks after him (for as long as merlin lets him).

the parallel between merlin and eira with such quick cause and effect (it literally all happens within the same minute) is where the shift from subtext to text becomes undeniable. yes, there have been other moments on the show where a character's affections towards two different genders are beat-for-beat the same, but, again, there has always been plausible deniability. in this case the parallel is meant to be taken at face value: the core point of it is to show us how gwaine expresses his attraction.

then, the dialogue they chose to bookend this scene with takes it a few steps further by functioning as a textual love confession to merlin himself: the scene opens with gwaine thanking merlin for everything he did for eira, and merlin saying that there is no need to thank him as it was the least he could do. a minute later, after merlin thanks gwaine for protecting him from the saxons as both merlin and the show just concluded gwaine did for eira for romantic reasons (even as he denied it by outright lying), gwaine parrots what merlin said when gwaine thanked him: no need to thank me, merlin, it's the least i could do.

but this comes off as the opposite of dismissive: in fact, this echoing of merlin's words is meant to jolt both merlin and the audience. by saying this right after saving merlin from the saxons, gwaine has now intentionally pointed merlin's attention towards the explicitly romantic parallel between himself and eira. gwaine is directly implying he just did for merlin what merlin correctly deduced he did for a woman because he desired her sexually and romantically, and he is using merlin's own words to challenge him into seeing past the initial flimsy lie that there is nothing between them. and what's behind the lie, of course, is that gwaine has done all of this and more because he desires merlin sexually and romantically. the camera even lingers on merlin, allowing him and the viewer to absorb what just happened. that for as long as we have known gwaine, his motivations have always boiled down to "i want to be there for merlin". and now both the audience and merlin finally know for sure what was motivating him the entire time.

what's more, by using merlin's own dismissive words, gwaine also implicates merlin's penchant for repression and denial and never allowing himself to be given credit where it's due. this unfortunately never properly gets dismantled on the show, but this moment shows that gwaine knows merlin well enough to know that he goes above and beyond for people, and that merlin's reasons for this ring as false to gwaine's ears as gwaine's reasons for saving damsels do to merlin. it also bittersweetly implies that gwaine has accepted that these are the platonic, repressed terms on which he can have a relationship with merlin. but i think the way in which he explicitly points all of this out to merlin is meant to imply that he isn't entirely happy about having to accept that. or, to circle back to eira, that merlin seems to be cheering for him to enter a heterosexual relationship when gwaine would clearly rather be with him.

what's additionally interesting to me about this is that this is one of the only scenes on this show that touch on same gender attraction that isn't using magic as a metaphor - because merlin doesn't have magic at the moment, yes, but also because gwaine is the more active character in this sequence, and he's an adventure hero, so he simply fights the bad guy to protect the person he loves. there is no metaphor to wrap this in, so he just gets to explicitly state his bisexuality. in the next scene, the very last one he and merlin share, it all becomes about magic again, which is both representative of merlin's sexuality and the show's "plausible deniability" approach to gay-coding, and so neither gwaine or merlin are permitted to acknowledge it. also, and this is for another post altogether, but all things point to "gwaine knew". not least because he gets to come out as queer without the complications of the magic-as-gay-metaphor which in turn emboldens him to ask merlin for the truth as directly as the metaphor-suffocated narrative will allow it.

tldr gwaine textually and canonically expresses and then confesses his feelings to merlin in a shockingly well-written and layered scene which makes gwaine the most explicitly queer character on bbc merlin and it's entirely because he exists outside the magic-as-gay-metaphor plot while loving someone who embodies that entire metaphor and it's crazy to me that we don't talk about this more. once again i ask what SICKO wrote this and where were they for the entire rest of this fucking show

tldrtldr at least gwaine is bi. its like i always say. at least gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. dont cry ok? gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. when all else fails. gwaine is bi. we'll always have. gwaine is bi

[onceandfuturehighpriestess]

There should have been a Gwaine and the Green Knight episode of Merlin. Tell me I'm wrong

[bookshelfpassageway]

anyone mind me niche bookposting

anyway I've been reading Prophet of Panahmindorah and am about 2h from the end of the audiobook? and oh my god there's so many things in here that have me going

given my understanding of Panahmindorah from the Pirates of Wefriviain series

[escespace]

Merlin and Arthur but maybe this continues like this:

Arthur doesn't believe shit. What do you mean Merlin doesn't remember him? HIM?! Who does he think he is? He's been looking for him for weeks like a jilted lover (not that he is one) and when they meet again he doesn't remember anything of what they have experienced but he does remember that Gwaine once split eight apples with his head?

As expected, Arthur lashes out. The guy tends to be a brute when his emotions get too much. Obviously, he clashes with Merlin who doesn't let anyone walk all over him. So the knights are forced to endure a back and forth of sarcasm and bad temper.

«You can't talk to me like that, I'm a prince»

«How could I be sure of that? Memory loss, remember, you royal idiot?»

«I couldn't forget it because you keep repeating it to me!»

«I wouldn't repeat it if it didn't seem like the one with head problems is someone else who isn't me. Could you tell me if there have been many blows to your head or if it's just the nobility inflating it so much that it doesn't allow anything new to enter?»

«I'll show you lots of blows to the...»

I don't need to say that they didn't manage to do much that day. The knights looked for an inn and rested with their hearts heavy with worry for the young ex-servant who seemed to have forgotten parts of his life.

The next day, Arthur goes out to find his knights already talking to Merlin. Everyone seems very happy, chatting and laughing like any other time, but from what he understood from the previous day, it's just him that he doesn't seem to remember. Again, what kind of memory loss is that?

Talking to the knights, Merlin finds out why they are there and offers to accompany them to talk to someone who other townspeople have pointed out as a possible witness and this is because, SURPRISE, coincidentally, he is on his way there. He is a hard-working man whose elderly mother is ill and Merlin has been hired to prepare the medicine she requires.

The truth is that the man was in the area where the whole incident against those who went to look for the sorcerer happened because moments before he had met with Merlin to exchange the brew. And now Merlin wants to know if he really saw something that could incriminate him or endanger the sorcerer he helped escape.

They go to the man's house, do what they have to do, get nothing because the man didn't see anything (bullshit but he believes in Merlin)

So they keep searching and investigating, and Merlin accompanies them because he needs to make sure they don't find the people he's helped move (not just in that town) so he bombards them with verbose until they spill the beans, and no one believes anything bad about it because this is sweet and naive Merlin, please...

And more verbal challenges are exchanged between Arthur and Merlin because Arthur can't stand the tall man acting like nothing happened with everyone but him and he must find a way to get Merlin to admit that everything ut's either a bad joke (which will earn him a few nights of polishing every brick in the castle) or he says something that finally makes sense of how he forgot Arthur and if this way irritates him to the point of his ears glow from how red they get, that's just a bonus

«If I don't remember that he's a noble and I stab him, is it really illegal?»

«IT'S ILLEGAL IF YOU STABB ANYONE, MERLIN"

"What if no one sees it? Is it still illegal?»

«Now you're just playing dumb»

«No, no, Lance, I do think he has a couple of good points»

«Don't encourage him, Gwaine»

Anyway, somehow they end up discovering that the men who were sent to find the accused are a group that every time they are sent they return to Camelot with stories sufficiently disturbing to avoid too many questions since the sorcerers this group Usually look for never make it to Camelot.

Perhaps they find out while they are divided. One group is at the inn eating and it is there that they meet the derailed knights (we would call them the haters)... So the round table connects the dots and a fight breaks out.

On the other hand, half of the round table that was not looking for food finds out about the haters from a survivor who explains to them that these so-called knights seek to exterminate sorcerers by his own hand.

«It is not their right to judge. The king's law must be given by the king» Arthur says

«It's not as if the judging part happens much in front of the king either» Merlin attacks. «more like simply sentence and death. Even if they are not really sorcerers or even if there was no harm or injury»

Lancelot is the one who silences Merlin before a fight breaks out, calming him down by speaking comfortingly because there is no time to waste.They must meet up with the others because if they are lucky perhaps the group of haters will still be around and they can catch them there instead of in Camelot where the situation is still tense as to prove that there are even weaknesses within the army...

The problem is, as we know, that the haters are fighting at that very moment with the other members of the round table and they outnumber them.

So as he opens the door of the inn a dagger immediately flies towards Merlin, who is the one who is going ahead. But it does not hit him but Arthur who somehow quickly got in the way.

Blood blooms like a dam that overflows before Merlin's eyes, eyes that instantly turn golden, causing every Rebel knight (every hater) to fall unconscious. And isn't Arthur supposed to be unconscious at times like this too? Because he definitely shouldn't have seen that, he didn't want to see it and now that he has he must acknowledge that Merlin has magic

.

.

.

Continuation

[worthyprnce]

random merlin episodes I wish we had:

a stuck in the same day over and over episode — where someone, obviously merlin, is somehow magically stuck living the same day again and again but only he knows that. we missed so many opportunities. so many magic reveals and so many different reactions to it, specially from arthur and perhaps the knights too.

a halloween special — with a much darker and scarier mood, with less comic relief and more horror. we have a few dark scenes along the show, a whole episode of it would be so cool

a merlin x doctor who crossover — I have this inside joke with a friend that the diamair (that alien looking creature that helps gwaine in the first two episodes of season five) was BBC's way of pushing doctor who into the show, and it would be so nice if it was true. it didn't even have to be a merlin episode, it could be a doctor who episode where the doctor and the companion (I don't remember exactly which ones would be, I guess the 11th?) get back to save the diamair and they help them find a better place to live. and then we see the doctor hiding away from gwaine and percy, and then merlin and arthur and morgana (and all the guards and all) until they can finally talk to the diamair alone. and along the episode we see the characters going as the episodes in merlin canonically did, but in the doctor's pov.

a breaking the fourth wall episode — fleabag style. maybe merlin is the only one who can break the fourth wall, but I like to imagine everyone can, but no one else knows that's a thing everyone could do it. I don't know how this would be explained in cannon, but it would be fun

a green knight episode — where we follow (merlin follows) gwaine in a cheaper version of the tale of the green knight where the writers would obviously time compress a whole year into a few days, give cheap and lazy explanations and the green knight would probably be some random morgana's ally but I would love it anyway

a knights episode — actually I would have loved a spinoff of the knights with two seasons minimum, but at least one whole episode following their pov would be so much fun. maybe something happens and now we watch each of them along their day in flashbacks or something like that, until said thing happens and they have to collect all the puzzle pieces and try to understand what is going on and what happened and why and how to solve it. bonus points if merlin solves it all off screen and they all think that they did it, so now they are all proud of themselves. merlin obviously lets them take the credit for it, but this time he doesn't feel bad about not getting the credit he's due for saving the day once again. he feels happy to see his friends all happy and proud.

an animated episode — I am a huge lover of animation and just thinking about all the characters in an animated style version of themselves makes my heart warm. I love it so much, it would have been soooooo fun and so cute. it could have been an special, didn't even have to be an actual episode. like a christmas special maybe? I don't celebrate christmas so I don't know what would happen, just that it would be animated.

one or some of the characters turn into children — I think it would so fun and so cute to have merlin, gwen, gaius and maybe leon taking care of baby/child arthur. bonus points if uther is still alive and they have to hide baby arthur from him. or worse, all the knights turn into different aged children, leon is a teenager, gwaine has around 11/12, elyan has 7 and percival has 2, and merlin is going insane trying to keep up with them at the same time he tries to solve this mess as soon as possible. I would love the absolute chaos.

a merlin's birthday episode — nothing bad happens, we just get to watch everyone doing their best to come up with a good gift for merlin. and he is so confused as to why everyone is acting so strange around him (but they think they're being stealth and doing a good job). in the end they get the date all wrong and merlin's birthday is like, in six months or something.

that's all I can think of right now, and I know most of them (maybe all of them) don't even make much sense and wouldn't be possible to make in canon, but hey I can dream.

if I ever think of something else I'll do a part 2

[saladscream]

Merlin’s hands are good hands.

Blessedly masculine – and Arthur can’t help but be grateful for the lack of ambiguity there.

This is not to say that they’re coarse or ugly or unappealing, but at least no one (not even Arthur) is in any danger of mistaking them for a lady’s. Short blunt fingernails, knobby knuckles, raspy callouses from lugging around the small, practical burdens of Arthur’s daily whims and needs, Merlin’s hands are strong and capable, with long, nimble fingers.

It doesn’t stop the man from being a clod.

The number of things Merlin drops in a day is preposterous. Second only to the number of times Merlin trips over his own feet. There’s an ongoing wager between the knights, but Arthur has been banned from participating in it.

But they’re still very good hands. Hands that Arthur would know and recognise anywhere. For all they’re oftentimes clumsy, there’s an odd, caring preciseness to them when they tend to an injury: many a knight knows that you’ll barely feel the kind and cautious fingers as they meticulously clean a wound, stitch a cut or wrap a bandage. Arthur doesn’t know how Merlin does it, but his touch is as light as a feather when he administers ointments yet enjoyably firm when applying rubbing oil to sore muscles.

But all medical care aside, Arthur knows that there’s something to the way these hands touch... Something uniquely Merlin. Although he has been on the receiving end of their ministrations every day for so many years, Arthur cannot even find adequate words to describe how incredibly gentle Merlin’s touch is. How soothing and… reverent. It is the oddest thing, for such an impudent man who delights in embodying the living and breathing definition of treason every chance he gets. And yet, Arthur has never felt Merlin’s hands brush, press, hold, or glide on him with anything other than unobtrusive care and devotion.

And if truth be told, it irks him to see that Merlin extends the lovingness of his touch to just about any other ailing knight. Gwaine should definitely not be looking so smug and flirtatious while Arthur’s manservant’s hands are thoughtfully spreading comfrey balm down his bare ribs.

As a matter of fact, Arthur’s entirely justified irritation must be showing, because Merlin raises his head from Gwaine’s licentious chest and levels an inquiring look at him. Arthur’s eyebrows arch into a crisp ‘do I have to do everything myself?’ expression, while his mouth wordlessly scowls a ‘whenever you’re ready, Merlin’ – but of course, the man completely fails to get Arthur’s aggrieved message.

Worse, the turniphead smiles.

And suddenly it’s an onslaught of warm eyes and dark eyelashes and curving lips and dimpling cheeks, and Arthur’s heart stutters in his chest and his breath sticks in his lungs.

And he’s forgotten what he was upset about.

Something to do with Merlin’s wandering hands, wasn’t it? They’re glistening with comfrey balm now, and Merlin knows better than to approach his prince with hands that are slippery from another man’s unguent. Unfortunately, this means the unthinking prat does something Arthur secretly dreads: he unties his neckerchief.

Arthur’s mouth begins to dry as Merlin uses the red rag to wipe the slick from the long fingers.

But the damage is done – the throat and collarbones are now on full, uninhibited display.

Merlin's eyes

Merlin's lips

[soni-dragon]

Eye of the Pheonix is actually one of the best merlin episodes because:

merlin and Gwen besties shenanigans; “what’s he actually thinking about” “you”

cold open to the most tender merthur scene

Merlin sleeping outside all knight for arthur

Hiccuping scene and arthur getting so annoyed

“But the perilous lands are… perilous”

“The task is meant to be completed alone and unaided” the start of the best continuing joke of all time

Putting the rest under a cut cause it’s long

Little morgwen moment in the market i love (one of the last we get….)

Cute arthur and gwen scene! Hehe

This is just the shipping episode of all time everyone wins

“You’ll need help” and the first thing merlin does is go find gwaine

smiles “hello, gwaine” “ah, merlin :)”

Immediately puts an arm around merlin

Throws merlin off a roof. this is what merwaine is all about :)

Gwaine is still Gwaine and not whatever the writers did to him after becoming a knight

Bridge guy (Grettir) is great and Arthur’s “no I’m prince arthur of camelot” i love you you’re so dense sometimes

“You need strength and magic” and then gwaine and merlin come along and NO ONE seems to think two seconds more about the implications

“ive been to almost every tavern” “so have i” you’re telling me merlin spent all that time looking for specifically gwaine to help him when he knows arthur is in danger

ANOTHER MORGWEN SCENE (ik morgana just wants her to leave) but we weren’t completely robbed

Arthur not realizing that he feels like shit and thinking hmm that’s weird, this is THE dense, damsel in distress arthur episode

Gwaine is two feet away are you really telling me he didn’t hear bridge guy call merlin Magic

“Strength has arrived the trio is complete” immeidate sword draw

But also the establishment of them as a trio i really love and they never did anything else with it

Gwaine with the flowers :))

THE ENTIREY OF THE FIRE SCENE

*THE* MERWAINE SCENE EVER

“a pheasant” gwaine please

“Why do you want to do this?” cause he’s in love with you merlin

“Same reason as you” (hesitates) (eye contact) “help a friend”

“arthurs lucky to have us”

…

“not arthur” SCREAMING

we’re back to the fond looks

gwaines tiny nod of assurance when merlin looks at him like ??! after he says not arthur

“youre the only friend i have” and i couldnt bear to lose you

Gwen finding out morgana has magic

“she’s changed” break my heart why don’t you (i dont want you to change) BRING HER BACKKK this is making me miss the arc morgana could have had so badly

They caught up to arthur SO FAST goes to show how arthurs going through it

Not wyvern they have four legs actually (tho their designs are cool)

This would have been such a good episode for gwaine to learn merlin is a dragonlord & has magic

Arthur conveniently is knocked out (as always) when merlin does cool magic stuff to save him

When merlin orders them to go and they bow their heads and walk away they look like kicked puppies

The famous arthur waking up to merlins silly little smile and being 100% not appreciative

whatthehellareYOUdoinghere? why can’t you ever just say thanks? augh THANKS!whatforcompLeTlYrUiNiNgThEqUeSt?!

i am supposed to be doing this ALONEEEE

“Are gwen and morgana here too? we going to have a surprise party?” i love you sassy arthur and yes you absolutely should have a surprise party

Do you want us to help you or do you want to do this ~aloneeee~

MERLIN!

The little smile and nod like yeah they got him

“this is a quest merlin not a treasure hunt” well it is sort of- “MERLIN.”

How is that one stone completely sound proof

The cockroaches are icky but y’all have gloves its not that bad you couldn’t even feel them

Set up with the water of avalon and something that actually follows into later episodes

“Merlin.” + arthur doesn’t want to show he actually cares about him vs. gwaine pulling him into a hug

“look what i found” merlin and gwaine shared looks of no you didn’t

The trios conversation at the end i love their dynamics + merlins pause and genuine thanks

Eoin macken looking pretty <33 (he always does)

Merlins little overview of the quest hes so excited awww

Immediate shift to sassy merlin the Duality

I wish Gwen knowing about morgana’s magic would have been explored more i want to see her join gaius and merlin in plotting and going on little quests

Anyways yeah to conclude i miss Gwaine sm :(

[overlyspecific]

Part 8 of Merlin Hood AU

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12

The room is dark, lit only by a sliver of sun peaking through a hole in the wall when Merlin comes too. A breeze through the dark dank cave causes Merlin to shutter. His wrists ache from being chained in cold iron above his head and the sound of water dripping echoing through the chamber pulls a sorrowful longing sound from Merlin’s scratchy throat.

Merlin: *whispering to himself* Well this couldnt get any worse…

Merlin looks quickly around him for the witchfinder to approach. From Merlin’s experience they usually can’t resist the urge to say something witty like ‘Oh, but it can’ or ‘I was hoping you would say that.’ If Gwaine was there they’d probably bet on which one it would be. Man, he missed Gwaine and Lancelot and Gwen and Arthur. Wait, Arthur! He was in the woods and he was looking for Merlin! Merlin smiled to himself sadly, it was nice to have people who cared about him…even if one of them was a clotpole.

The Witchfinder (Aredian): Oh my boy, there’s nothing to smile about.

Merlin: *sighing* I liked my options better. Why are we even here? Don’t you just want to deliver me to the king and get paid?

Aredian: But wheres the fun in that? Besides the king has some questions for you that he knows I can get answers for.

Merlin: If its about how I manage to look this good when I’ve been living in a forest for years, the answer manages to escape me too.

A bucket of cold water is thrown at Merlin, irritating his wounds. Merlin typically doesnt like the idea of killing anyone, but for Aredian he could make an exception. A small bit of magic sparks itself in Merlin’s abdomen, comforting him before diminishing once again. Merlin groans it frustration.

Aredian: What? No more quips? Did I get the fearsome Merlin to finally shut his trap?

Merlin: *gritting through his teeth* Not likely.

Aredian throws his head back in a laugh and Merlin watches as he brandishes a dagger.

Aredian: Good. The fun is just beginning.

Meanwhile, Lancelot, Gwen and Gwaine are thinking of plans to rescue Merlin at the hideout.

Gwaine: All I’m saying is if you have enough chickens-

Lancelot and Gwen: *monotone because they have heard Gwaine pitch this four times now* -they make for a good diversion.

Gwaine pouts a bit.

Lancelot: Gwaine, we don’t even know where they took him. Merlin has made it pretty clear that he can break out of almost every dungeon and cell they keep him in so I doubt they’ve taken him to the castle.

Gwen: Plus, if he was at the castle, the king would be showing him off to everyone as an example and we haven’t heard anything like that yet.

Lancelot: Gwen, why don’t I escourt you back to the castle so you can try to gather more information. Gwaine can scavenge the woods for anywhere they might be keeping Merlin.

Gwen takes off in the direction of the castle leaving Lancelot with Gwaine for a moment.

Lancelot: We’ve been through these woods a thousand times, there’s only a few places that he could be hidden.

Gwaine: Right. I’ll scavenge the areas and you can send word if Gwen hears anything.

Lancelot: Be careful, Gwaine.

Gwaine: *smirking* When am I not?

Gwaine takes off in the other direction and Lancelot sighs. He really needs more friends that don’t attract trouble like it’s their job. But they are all he’s got and he’ll do anything for them. After a moment, Lancelot takes off after Gwen.

In another area of the forest, Arthur wakes up to in a bed of flowers. The sun is shining high above his head and his chainmail is laid out against the grass next to him, leaving him in his tunic and breeches. Birds are chirping near by and Arthur rubs at his eyes. He feels at peace, but something is wrong. He was supposed to do something or be somewhere. He knows it.

Rustling in a bush catches Arthur’s attention and he gets up quickly to draw his sword. A hooded figure approaches Arthur and raises out their hand.

Hooded figure: Arthur Pendragon.

Arthur: Who are you? Where is this place?

Hooded figure: I have many names but for our purposes you can call me Pirerymus.

Arthur: Pyramus? Like the tragic love story?

Pirerymus: *softly chuckles* No, but it this case it might work just as well. As for your where you are, I’m surprised you don’t recognize this place. It means a lot for your future and your destiny. Tell me, what does it feel like to you.

Arthur: Peaceful, warm, protecting. It feels sort of like it’s watching over me, like if I fell asleep again right here I would safe.

Pirerymus: and when have you felt that before?

Arthur thinks back and has a hard time placing it. He feels safe at Camelot but he’s always a little on edge waiting for the next person to try to kill him or for his father’s disapproving words. The only time he has really felt at ease is when he is with…

Arthur: Merlin.

Pirerymus: He’s your protector and your destiny, but the same applies to you. You must protect him as well.

Arthur: How am I supposed to protect the most powerful sorceror ever? What can I do that he can’t?

Pirerymus: He may be very powerful but he is not a warrior. Not like you.

Arthur: Well, I don’t know how much good that’s going to do now. I don’t even know where he is and I still don’t know where I am or how it connects to our destiny.

Pirerymus: Oh, but you do. He told you exactly where he was.

Arthur: The light.

Pirerymus: Yes. You need to learn how to understand what he is telling you, otherwise you two will never unite the land and bring about the golden age of Albion.

Arthur: I don’t have time for this. He’s in trouble.

Pirerymus: Emrys’s own well-being is not my main concern. You will find in time that he can handle a lot. However, if he loses control the safety of everyone and everything around him is at risk.

Arthur: Merlin would never hurt anyone.

Pirerymus: That may be the case, but if any outside forces got control of even a sliver of his true power they could do a great deal of damage.

Arthur: So, I’m supposed to keep people from stealing his magic?

Pirerymus: You are to protect him when he cannot protect himself just as he does for you. But you will need to work together this to work. Emrys has already opened up to you. Now, you must do the same. Follow me.

Pirerymus leads Arthur through the wildflowers until they get to a small lake and they stop at the water’s edge.

Pirerymus: Tell me, Arthur, what do you feel now?

Arthur: *pauses for a moment to take in his surroundings* There’s something in there. Something calling to me.

Pirerymus: Yes, I would guess so. After all, it was made for you.

Arthur looks back to the field of flowers. Most wildflowers have a cacophony of colors, but Arthur only sees here a very harmonious blue and golden yellow. Arthur closes his eyes for a minute and the calling from the lake grows. He wades into the lake.

[relativelydimensional]

bestie what are some of your merthur fic recs

Omg who me? stooppp <3

Okay so I used to read a LOT of merthur fics back around 2011-2013 and have only recently hopped back on the bandwagon so this will be a mix of some oldies i've revisited and some newer fics that have made me insane :))))

0. this one goes without saying but The Student Prince is seriously one of the best fics in any fandom i've ever read to this day. I relisten to the podfic every single year and it SLAPS every time. If you haven't listened/read recently this is obviously my #1 rec hahahha

Okay onto some actual recs

1. Tired by spqr

King Arthur gets enchanted and keeps having dreams about his court sorcerer merlin :))))) He obviously doesn't say this to Merlin, but Merlin notices he's not been sleeping and Arthur comes clean about having 'nightmares.' When Merlin tries to figure out a counterspell, he accidentally casts it on himself and ohh nooo they're both having sexy dreams about each other but also have to act normal in real life ITS SO YUM. This fic was surprisingly soft, like yes they are having some full on dreams but also the bits that made me extra insane were just the little soft moments between non-dream merthur 🥺

This was a school holidays read and i remember reading this in the staff room of the elementary school i was working at trying so hard not to SCREAM. At one point i had to go on a spirited walk around the building just to get my energy out because it was JUICY.

If you like: canon era fics, court sorcerer merlin, the intimacy of domesticity, arthur with a beard and merthur being so in love but also fucking clueless about it this the fic for you <3

2. But It's a Good Refrain by lady_ragnell

Merlin runs a relationship advice/matchmaking service radio show and Arthur's ex calls in and rips into him on air. Arthur calls in to defend himself and he and Merlin butt heads. An oldie but such a goodie. I love this one because the characterisation feels very natural. Plus i loooove arthur POV fics. Merthur are so sweet in this one and i love love love the dynamic of their respective friendship groups merging. It also features the fandom favourite m/f crack ship that is elena and gwaine which im always here for.

If you like: silly modern AU friend group nonsense, Arthur POV fics, snarky Morgana, and a fic writer who understands the sheer power merlin emrys' 🥺 face would have over not only Arthur but literally ANYONE who looks at him, this is the fic for you.

3. Second Chances by DragonDucks

This is a canondivergence/fix-it fic set immediately after Arthur dies in 5x13. In this version Arthur tells Merlin he loves him with his dying breath and Merlin's magic sort of implodes sending him back in time to 1x1. So it's like sad s5 Merlin getting a second chance to save Arthur in the body of tiny baby s1 merlin.

I'm gonna be honest i'm still reading this one but it has me kicking and screaming!!!! Most of the dialogue is repurposed from the show which makes it extra juicy to me and its just delicious i love it so much. The POV switches between S5 mourning merlin and S1 gay panic arthur and its soooooo good i'm loving it so far. Some of the side characterisation is a little weird but Merthur are PERFECT. It NAILS that yummy introverted Arthur and fond Merlin characterisation.

If you like: canon era fix it fics, time travel, Arthur pendragon falling in love with merlin bit by bit and actually having space and time to grow as a person, and merlin emrys being like no everyone shut up about my destiny i just wanna have a good time with my boyfriend, this is the fic for you.

4. All is Semblative by Whitefox

I just fucking love crossdressing fics okay 😇. This is cinderella meets Merthur. Uther is throwing a ball to find Arthur a bride and servants aren't allowed. Out of spite (and, lets be real, also jealousy) Merlin tries to disguise himself to sneak in and ends up accidentally turning himself into a princess. Arthur hits it off with a weird but beautiful mystery princess who turns out to be his manservant he's been in love with this whole time. Simples.

If you like: Prince Arthur knowing about merlin's magic and being cool with it, fairytale AUs, accidental genderbending (but still canonically mlm merthur), and arthur pendragon singlehandedly embodying demisexual panic this is the fic for you.

5/6. As Long As We Have We AND No Matter How Far Away You Roam by lady_ragnell

Lady Ragnell again because I looove the way they do modern day Arthur. and i've been going through their stuff. These are both super cute christmas fics (I know its a little early but I couldn't help myself). In the first one, Uther has just died (rip uther you will not be missed) and Arthur accidentally collects lonely friends to spend christmas with him in the empty house. At the same time he befriends Merlin, the owner of his local bookstore, and merlin brings his own group of strays to Arthur's christmas...and obviously everyone gets along super well and merthur fall in love. The second one is a fake dating. T get his parents off his back, Arthur lies to Uther and Igraine that he and merlin have been together for years and Merlin (plus his mum and his sister Freya) has to play along one christmas..and obviously everyone gets along....and obviously everyone gets along super well and merthur fall in love.

If you like: found family, cute christmas fics and fluffy merthur these fics are the ones for you!

Also pls if anyone has any canon era secret dating merthur fics i beg of you please send them my way 🥺

[mysticsublimeperson]

I've been hunted by one little all consuming idea.

Basically I want the knights exposed to BAMF spy! Merlin, I was thinking something like this..

The knights are spying on someone on enemy territory. They are following this person across the border and being seen there could cause a war, but the thing they need from this person is very time sensitive, so they go, surprisingly without any major trouble; mostly because Merlin's been assuring a safe passage n the dark.

The thing is this person finds an inn, and they can't be sure of they're way because in a inn you can ask for a ride, or trade the very thing they are after, they are unsure that this person knows it's value so...

"It'll be easy..." Arthur assured while taking of his gauntlet "We'll take off the armor and pass for merchants or something" explained as he indicated Merlin to take of the rest of armor.

Merlin couldn't contain the snort that escaped him.

All of them looked at him.

"Sorry, sorry..."

"You have something to say Merlin?"

"It's just... I mean not offense sires, but you are way too posh for that to work, even your normal clothes is way to fine, not matter how much dirt you cover yourself with" explained takin another part of the armor.

"Aren't you forgetting something Merlin?" said Elyan amused.

"Yeah.. alright, not all of you come from nobility, but... well, let's say that he perks of being a knight change people enough" he tried not to be offensive, but the fact is that after being trained as knight all of them had a change in demeanor, the walked differently, they looked at the people with a superiority that only power gave. Even if it's the power to do good and protect, they had that kind of authority. "Believe me, if you walk in there and claim to be anything other than a knight, we'll be discovered, people in this kinds of places know how to detect threats" He explained helping Elyan after loosening Lancelot's armor.

"Then what do you suggest?" Asked Leon softly.

"Maybe we can twist a bit the truth... Gwaine is already a drunkard" Gwaine laughed at that "And all of you can be yourself, before being a knight, just not together" thought outloud, he could hear some agreement "And Arthur and Leon could be knights on a quest, just not say that you are Camelot's knights" offered looking at Leon.

They spoke about the details of their background stories and arranged their accommodation. They would enter at different times, and from different paths. Most of them could fake no having any kind of relationship with each other, but some, Merlin knew, would not be able, so they planned around it. In the end they would take four rooms, one for Leon and Arthur, one for Percival and Lancelot, one for Elyan, and one for Gwaine.

"And what about you?" Lancelot asked worried.

"It doesn't make sense for me to have enough coin for a room" he said like it was obvious. But he could see the surprise in every face surrounding him.

"You'll come with us then" othered Arthur.

"That won't make sense with the story..."

"Us then.." said Percival, surprising Merlin, before he could deny.

"No, I won't work, come with me Merlin" offered Elyan.

"Don't be ridiculous, Merlin is my best friend, he surely can come with me without arising suspicions" laughed Gwaine.

Merlin was a bit chocked up with surprise, he hoped his face wasn't too red, but he couldn't help it. It was rare that the knights showed this kind of affection towards him.

"Thank you for the offers" he said sincerely "but I think you are not understanding, all of you will be interpreted as thread, maybe Gwaine could pass but he won't be discreet, all of you attract a terrible amount of attention and someone who is trying to smuggle something won't want that... just trust me" even this he could see protest in their eyes they agreed.

Merlin entered last, all of them already had been accommodated at the inn. Once alone, he could let loose, the rain was just a nice touch.

He entered the inn drenched, and purposely tripped at the entrance. He approached the owner and begged for a simple job to pay the stay, he looked at him and offered a cot under the stairs for serving the tables.

Now he had the attention, everyone knew him as a bumbling idiot, desperate for cain and roof, most of them view Merlin as an easy target, and that was the point.

He served awkwardly and tripped a bit more, the owner threatened to make him sleep with the horses but that secured his image.

"Are you ok?" Lancelot asked when Merlin brought his drink, if it was another Merlin would be in risk of being discovered. "You're still wet"

"It's fine, it's not different from the usual" that turned his expression into a frown.

"Surely that..."

"BOY!" called the owner.

"Yeah! Coming"

The person the comes to the room and sits themselves in a far table, Merlin knows that they are aware of him so he put his plan. He crashes softy, almost making a mess, and thanks them profoundly, he picks up something valuable looking from the floor and give it back, earning the look of someone too naive, and the he blushes ashamed when they comment on his situation. He spills some bullshit on how his master left him on the road for packing the wrong coat, making himself pitiful. Then he would sputter an apology for speaking out of turn, and would go. Now that the bait was set it was just a matter of time.

Usually this kinds of people would try to smuggle shit using someone else, so if they get caught, they'll just put the blame in the other person. It was smuggler 101.

He was kind of losing hope until a bully on a table he purposely took the other wrong decided that Merlin was good enough punching bag. The punch to the gut let him without air for a full minute, he felt himself gaping like a fish out of the water. He had prepared himself for the punch, but had to make it believable, now he looked weak, which solidified the character. He could hear voices, but he was a bit unfocused.

"Hey, friend, are you ok?" it took everything in him not to smile victorious, it worked.

Basically this person invites Merlin to their room and tries to convince Merlin to travel with them. And at dawn they go, Merlin, with some help from the magic, gets them confused enough to turn back to the borders where the knights are waiting and arrest them properly.

Then they are all terribly silent, because there's so much to unpack here.

[bebravedearheart]

mergwaine + 48, for that ship+number prompt!

This has made me so happy! Sorry it's taken me so long, life has been busy, but I hope you like it!

Merwaine kiss ...out of habit

As first meetings went, theirs made for a good story at least. Although, when Gwaine told it he would of course add more heroics on his part, and leave out the fact he was unconscious with a knife embedded in his thigh.

He'd been grateful to Merlin since then, and Merlin had patched up far more scrapes and cuts since then, though luckily none as serious. Each time he'd woken in Merlin's cot in the anteroom of the physician's chambers he'd wanted to smile and flirt and show his appreciation, but he could never quite bring himself to. He feared ruining their friendship, couldn't bear it if Merlin turned away, or tried to say something to make him feel better in that awkward, endearing way of his.

Gwaine had never had a true friend before, and he valued it beyond measure. He took care to check in with Merlin when he looked glum, really listened to everything Merlin told him and felt chastised in a way he was not used to when Merlin was disappointed with him.

Merlin for his part seemed to be able to see through Gwaine; to pick apart his glib remarks when asked how he was. Gwaine hated it, and was more thankful for it than he could say.

And gods he wanted Merlin. Not just for a tumble. To wake up with each morning and kiss softly in the dawn. To fall asleep wrapped around, bodies entwined into one entity. To whisper in the dark all he couldn't say out loud when he was being looked at.

He would not breathe a word of this to anyone, of course. Merlin deserved far better than him, deserved someone beautiful, someone who knew how to say the right thing, someone who didn't cause so much trouble--even if Merlin didn't mind that.

To celebrate the King's coronation a feast was thrown--the first in many months; Arthur had been too preoccupied with his duties as regent and worrying about his father to keep up with anything more than the bare minimum of the courtly calendar. Now though, he seemed freer, like the shadow of anticipation was no longer weighing heavy on his shoulders.

Merlin was invited as a guest, not a servant. Gwaine grinned at that news, clapped him on the shoulder and told Merlin he'd have to come and borrow something nice to wear (though added that Merlin was the only person he knew who looked good in rags).

Merlin declined his offer with a laugh, giving him a playful shove and telling him Gwen had it well in hand.

Gwaine did not think a great deal of it, standing between Leon and Percival in the hall when the celebration came around with is customary cup of wine--sweeter than the usual vinegary swill they were served but still somehow better than the ale. He glanced up as the door opened to admit a latecomer, almost dropping the goblet. He saved himself from embarrassment, though he did not take his eyes of Merlin as he walked in with all the regal bearing of a man born to nobility. He wore an unspoiled white linen tunic, over which there was a jacket in pale green silk, belted at the waist and flaring out at the hips, falling to mid-thigh. On his legs Merlin wore deep, forest green breeches in velvet, fitting tightly to accentuate his slender legs. His hair was oiled back, smoothed and swept back from his head, far from its usual wild waves.

Gwaine was not the only one unable to tear away his gaze but he was the first to reach Merlin, bowing low. His noble manners came easily; old habits die hard, as they said. Gwaine did not think twice about taking Merlin's delicate hand in one of his own--too rough, calloused palms--and pressing a kiss to the back of it as if he were a lady. He heard Merlin's sharp intake of breath at his surprise and straightened up, catching a glimpse of the pink tinge high on Merlin's sharp cheekbones. With his usual grin, Gwaine snatched another goblet of wine from the tray of a passing servant and downed it without pausing for breath before he pulled Merlin in by the collar of his ridiculous coat and kissed him properly; deep and filthy. Old habits died hard, after all.

When they broke apart, Gwaine made to leave, to go and find something else to drink, someone else to bed to avoid any awkward conversation beginning with the words "I'm flattered but..." He got no further than a single pace when a hand curled around his wrist to stop him, pulling him back into a much gentler kiss. Merlin tasted of spices and smelled of herbs. "You scrub up well," Gwaine said against Merlin's lips. "And you had manners hiding somewhere."

[ithiliensmenagerie]

I'm currently on Merlin season 2, impatiently waiting for Gwaine, Elyan and Percival to show up and Lancelot to return, and in the mean time thinking about my (fanfiction-informed) dream ending:

Uther dies. Shortly afterwards, during one of his trips through the forest, Arthur and his knights find some bandits attacking a young couple. They manage to kill the bandits, but the couple is already dead. They do find a very young baby hidden in the bushes though. Arthur takes the baby and sends Sir Leon to find the baby's next of kin.

In the meantime he declares himself responsible for the baby's survival. He finds a wetnurse, makes Merlin responsible for changing the diapers and taking care of her when she screams, and in the meantime carries her with him absolutely everywhere. She even sleeps in his bed, and to make sure someone else is there in case something happens during the night, Merlin has to sleep in their bed, too. It's fine, it's big enough.

A week later, Sir Leon returns. He found the village the couple came from, but nobody wants the baby. Turns out, the couple was driven out after being accused of magic and now noone wants anything to do with it.

Arthur is remarkably fine with that and immediately declares that he's adopting the baby, naming her Ygraine and making her his heir. The council is shook, what if it's a witch? Arthur is confused, magic is a choice, after all. You can't be born with magic, then it would be something natural. If people did magic not hurting anyone without choosing it, then it can't be inherently evil, can it?

The council admits that people can be born with it, but magic is power, and power corrupts, so killing everyone with magic, even if they aren't evil yet, will in the long term defeat evil. So it's for the greater good. Arthur absolutely disagrees. He immediately declares that in that case he is legalising magic, tasks everyone with developing suggestions for how to police it until the next day, and sweeps out, baby Ygraine in his arms.

In his rooms he finds Merlin and asks him without any introduction "Did you know people could be born with magic?". To which Merlin blurts out: "I did magic since I was two months old!"

The resulting argument is thankfully interrupted by Ygraine starting to scream before Arthur can find his voice again.

In the coming years, Arthur has to juggle raising a child with his magic manservant who kept his magic secret for so long, legalising magic, withstanding the council members who really don't want him to legalise magic, and, to top it of, the neighbouring countries have decided that there's no better time to attack Camelot than now, with a new, inexperienced king and all the chaos brought by reintroducing magic.

Luckily, he now knows about Merlin's magic and they can work together.

Also, of course Merlin has to keep sleeping in his bed.

[huffledanielle]

Hiii!!! I need help finding a bbc Merlin fic I read about a year ago and was wondering if anyone knew it!!

It was on either ao3 or ff.net!!! It was a knights and Arthur return fic!! One by one the knights would return in different places all by water!! Gwaine returned through the toilet in the apartment, Leon came out a water slide, someone else came out the bath!! It was so so good they would help each other learn more and more about the modern world!! the whole gang returned, all the knights of the round table and eventually Arthur showed up and emotional merthur ensued it was so cute!!

So please if anyone knows what this could or might be could you let me know I can not stop thinking about it!!!

[pigfacedbitch]

Comfort

summary : what would your boyfriend do if you had a bad day at work/school?

word count : 0.7k

type : headcanons

pairing/s : Modern! Gwaine / Merlin / Arthur (Soldier, Poet, King😂) x Reader

warning/s : asshole bosses / professors lol

here is my masterlist!

Note : Why is life so tiring? Sometimes, I just want to lay down and sleep. Slight NSFW on Gwaine's part .

Gwaine

Gwaine is evidently high-spirited but pouts like a kicked puppy when he sees you sad.

He may be a little unfamiliar with comforting someone but he knows that having fun can revive someone's soul so as a way to comfort you, he will offer a night of distraction and pleasure (I know what you're thinking and yes, you are right 👀).

From here, it depends on what you want to do. Gwaine will enthusiastically go with the flow.

You want to stay at home and play games? He will gladly lose to monopoly, uno, scrabbles, or any board games you want to play.

Gwaine is also a reliable player two in online games and will shout with you when another player is performing poorly.

"How can you miss that shot?!"

"What my love said, you muppet!"

Want to watch a movie? A pillow fort with your favorite movies, snacks, and soda coming right up!

Warning though, if you want to go out and party, don't. As loveable as he is, Gwaine is a party animal who has little self-control. He WILL get drunk before you and you have no choice but to drag his ass back to your home.

Last possible activity? Doing the deed. Might fuck the stress and sadness out of you until all you can remember is how good he made you feel, just saying. Anyways, enjoy! 😚

Merlin

This sweet baby boy will serve you like a queen, no joke.

Merlin will immediately know you had a bad day as he welcomes you in your shared home, already wrapping his (big and strong🫢) arms around your tired body.

He won't say a word but you'll know that he offers comfort by how tight his hug is, slowly soothing your hair, and gently kissing parts of your face.

"What's wrong, love?"

And boom! Here comes the waterworks. He will let you cry and vent as he leads the two of you on the sofa, lying comfortably there until you are done.

You might even take a short nap. Merlin doesn't care if you covered him with tears, drool, or snot; as long you feel better.

He will wake you up with your favorite home-cooked meal prepared on the table then taking you to the bathroom for a relaxing bath.

There would be scented candles, bath bombs, mellow music, skin care products— the whole nine yards. And no, you don't have to move. Merlin will do everything for you unless you want otherwise.

He will give you a massage on the bed after that, saying words of encouragement and support.

If you ask him to use his magic, he will. He will show you anything you want; from the wonders of the world to the vast beauty of the cosmos.

He hates using his magical abilities on you but as you fall asleep in his arms that night, he whispers a spell that will surely give you good dreams and an even better sleep.

Arthur

Let's face it, Arthur can be... oblivious at times.

Unlike Merlin and Gwaine, it will take a little longer for him to realize you feel like shit.

The Pendragons are very wealthy, and it sometimes compensates for the other qualities they lack.

He may not be as cheerful as Gwaine or provide you a satisfactory service like Merlin, but he can give you anything you want.

You want to go to another country? The private jet is ready. You don't even have to pack a bag, Arthur will buy new clothes for you.

He will let you choose the hotel you'll be staying in and book all the activities you want to do such as tours in the wildlife, scuba diving, spa days, and many more.

You want comfort food? The best chef in Albion will be brought to your home at once, paid heavily to cook whatever food you fancy.

You want materials things, jewelries and dresses? Even stationery? You got it. Arthur doesn't care how much you spend, he's practically your sugar daddy. 😂

If you just want him by your side, he will let you hug him like a koala bear to a tree and listen to your complains.

However, watch your words or the people you mention. Because Arthur will see to it that they will be dealt with, money comes with influence after all.

"So that's why they are being overly nice to me!"

"No one messes with the love of my life."

[alittlepudge-neverhurtnobody]

kinktober #18

Cult 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 / Artist's Muse 🎨

“Stay still,” tuts Merlin as he shades charcoal across his canvas. The afternoon light is a cool purple-gray, but the glow from the many candles he’s got lit is warm and golden. “I can’t capture you properly if you keep squirming around.”

“I’m cold,” Arthur complains, shifting his weight on the vegan sheepskin blanket, which he supposes must just be fleece or something, then, right? “How come Gwen and Morgana got to wear clothes?”

“Because I used them for portraiture, love, not figure drawing. And I don’t particularly fancy seeing either of my best mates naked. And you could have said no!”

Arthur grumbles to himself. Like so many other things he’s done since moving to Nottingham, posing nude for Merlin’s recreational drawing class sounded good and liberating at the time. Now, in practice, sitting among the candles and New Age-y tapestries of Merlin’s tiny apartment, a record player softly unspooling Sinéad O’Connor beneath the scratching of Merlin’s charcoal, he’s having a few second thoughts.

“Is anyone going to see these?” Arthur asks, trying to scratch an itch on the tip of his nose by twitching it this way and that. “What if someone recognizes me?”

“Well, I thought I’d see if the British Museum wanted to display any of them, but aside from that, no, just my art class,” says Merlin, grinning, and Arthur makes a face at them. “Also, I’m not drawing pornography or anything here. You can’t even see your prick in the position you’re in. Your belly and thighs mask it quite well.”

“Hmm,” says Arthur, not because he’s unhappy with it but because it’s one of those things he’s not quite sure how to feel. What he does feel gets mixed up with how he thinks he should feel and it all muddles together and gets hard to make sense of. He and Merlin have been dating for a few months now, and Arthur’s a bit heavier than he was before then, and both of those things make him happy, except that they’re both things that he was brought up to feel bad about, and — well, it’s all very complicated. Morgana’s been going on about seeing a therapist, but he hasn’t quite warmed up to that yet. He’s not against it, but he wants to at least try to figure out how he feels about this stuff himself before trying to explain it to someone else.

“Let me finish some details on your legs, at least,” says Merlin. “Then you can move around a bit if you want.”

Arthur holds still for a few more minutes, until Merlin nods and says, “All right then, have a stretch.”

With an exaggerated sigh, Arthur stretches his arms over his head and slips down from the window seat where he’s been perched and tugs his boxers back on. His belly flops over the waistband, and his thighs rub together as he strides toward Merlin and bundles them into his arms.

“Sorry I’m a bit of a shit model,” he murmurs into their ear. “I’m still getting used to — all this. Being comfortable with myself.”

Merlin reaches round to Arthur’s hips. “I know. You’re doing fine. Nobody’s confident their first time modeling nude. Well, practically nobody. I’ve got a mate who probably would be, but he’s an outlier.”

Arthur kisses the back of his neck. “That must be the Gwaine I’ve heard so much about?”

“Of course.” Merlin turns in Arthur’s arms so they’re facing each other. They’ve got a smear of charcoal across their cheekbone, another across the bridge of their nose. Arthur smiles and rubs at it but only succeeds in smearing it further. “Trust me, you’re all right. Nobody in class will think twice about it. Your body’s just another body.”

“Mmm, you know how to flatter a man.”

“I mean to them!” Merlin laughs, ruffling Arthur’s hair. “I’m quite fond of it. At the top of my list, it is.”

“What a relief,” teases Arthur. “Can I see what you’ve got so far?”

Merlin hesitates. “Will that be good for you?”

“I think so. If you take me through it, show me what you see.”

“All right then.” They turn Arthur toward the canvas on the easel, and at first Arthur isn’t quite sure who he’s looking at. The shape of the body in charcoal is round, belly spilling onto thighs, thighs thick and spreading against the nubbly shading of vegan sheepskin. His arms, too, are thick, his chin soft — 

“Your shoulders,” says Merlin, tracing a finger just above the canvas. “You’re strong here and here, down your arms. You can see your muscle tone, still, even though you’re softer. You have a little dimple at your back here, but of course you can’t see it from this angle. That spot where your belly folds over your hip, oh — it’s the softest bit of your skin, that. Sometimes you hook one of your legs over mine when we’re sleeping and it makes me feel so safe and held, the weight of you. Look, you can see the definition in your thigh, what’s muscle and what’s fat. You’ve got those sweet little love handles here, and that arse! It’s perfect, love, I could write sonnets.” He turns to kiss Arthur’s cheek. “What do you think?”

“I like it,” says Arthur, and part of him is still surprised to hear that he means it. “You’ve got me posed like The Thinker here when I don’t know if I’m all that, but I like how you see me. I look — like a person.”

“Of course you do,” says Merlin. They squeeze Arthur’s upper arm gently. “Sorry to be the one to remind you, love, but you are a person.”

“Yeah, well,” says Arthur. “Still getting used to that, aren’t I.”

Merlin picks up the charcoal, frowns at the drawing, and adds a couple of light lines at the joint of Arthur’s left elbow, his forearm. “What was wrong there?” Arthur asks in mock disbelief, and Merlin laughs in spite of himself. 

“Oh, just got the proportions slightly off. You’re not that pointy. You’re quite solid, it’s nice.”

“Won’t be wasting away on you anytime soon,” says Arthur, jiggling his doughy belly. “Speaking of, I’m starving. All this sitting around nude’s working up an appetite.”

Merlin grins. “I’ve got some more of that cake you like, from the Japanese bakery. Tea with it?”

“Yes, please.” Merlin’s apartment isn’t large — a glorified studio, with a bed that’s more blankets and pillows than mattress strewn mere meters from the small squared-off horseshoe of counter and stovetop that counts as his kitchen — but still, Arthur pads after him, unwilling to be too far away. For as cold as slender, waifish Merlin always is, he emanates a sort of golden warmth like all his candles, and it’s magnetic. Arthur feels like he’s always pulled a little bit in his direction. 

“Could you do me in a few different poses?” he asks, suddenly bold, as Merlin fills the kettle and takes the strawberry cream cake from their tiny refrigerator. “I like seeing myself through your eyes.”

“Sure,” says Merlin, and if they’re surprised, they do a good job of hiding it. “What d’you have in mind?”

Arthur shrugs, sticking his hand out and snagging a glob of cream from the cake plate. Merlin bats his hand away, and Arthur makes a show of sucking the cream from his finger. 

“Ah,” says Merlin knowingly, leaning back against the counter and crossing their arms over their chest. “Pinup, right? Silk stockings and heels, maybe a corset?”

It’s the sort of foolish thing Arthur would have never allowed himself six months ago, the sort of whim that would have felt almost dangerous to indulge. “If that’s your vision,” he says grandly. “Just tell me how you want me.”

Merlin digs his sketchbook from his threadbare satchel and perches on the counter. “Go lie on the bed,” he instructs, and Arthur flops down, legs spread a bit more saucily than he’d planned, belly drooping forward over his waistband. He rests a hand on it for good measure, as if he’s proud of it. He is proud of it. He’s let himself go. He’s let go, he’s found himself. It all muddles up. It’s okay.

Merlin sketches quickly, like they’re racing the teakettle, and although Arthur had started the pose with an affectedly serious look he’d meant to be funny, he’s grinning by the time the kettle begins whistling on the stove. 

“Lovely,” says Merlin, setting down their charcoal. “Come and see while I get the tea.”

Arthur hauls himself up. Where the other portrait is tasteful, stoic, this one is — well, he’s glad he put his boxers back on, for one thing. His plump thighs are splayed without a care, his belly spilling round and soft, front and center. Merlin’s captured the puffy swells of his chest, where his pecs have never had much definition and now have even less, the little bulges of fat at the tops of his arms. His grin puts the soft cup of his double chin on display, the round apples of his cheeks, but he can’t stop staring at it. He looks like he’s just heard the best joke in the world. 

“Can I have this one?” he asks as Merlin bustles back with their hands full of mugs and cake plates balanced on their thin forearms. Arthur takes one of each and sinks on the squashy futon couch near the window, shoving aside a mound of throw blankets to make room next to him. “If you don’t need it for class, that is.”

“Sure,” says Merlin, feeding him a bite from his own slice of cake. The one they’ve cut for Arthur is much thicker than their own, but Arthur digs in gamely. “Want to frame it, put it in your entryway?”

Arthur laughs around a mouthful of cake. “And terrify everyone who enters my apartment with my raw sex appeal? No, thanks. I don’t know if I’m quite there yet.”

“Ah, I forgot to add the stockings and corset,” says Merlin, tipping his head against Arthur’s shoulder. “There’s still time.”

“Nah,” says Arthur, sipping his tea. “I like it the way it is, actually. I like it quite a lot.”

[cbk1000]

Preview for the next chapter of Book of Merthur. If you don’t want spoilers, don’t read this if you're not caught up with the latest chapter.

So the platonic conversations over wine went on, for weeks, whilst he made an arse out of himself by getting flustered at the sight of Arthur riding at the quintain, and blurting out little dumbarse additions to their conversations such as, “I like your hair longer.”

“Really? Your mum thinks I should cut it.”

“Mums always think people should cut their hair. It’s a mum thing. But yeah. It suits you. I mean. You know. As much as anything can suit your face,” he recovered.

“Ha ha,” Arthur said, but he had coughed, and scratched his neck, and cleared his throat to show he was all right about the compliment, and even had barely noticed it. “Your hair--too. It’s--not terrible.”

“Yeah. It gets curly when I grow it out.”

“Exactly,” Arthur said sagely. He nodded. Merlin nodded. Then they lapsed into staring at one another with a kind of bovine complacence, just gaping whilst their brains ground haltingly along in the background, waiting to be of use again. 

“Ah, for fuck’s sake,” said Gwaine on his way past with an apple.

But anyway, he was managing, till one day he went round later with the wine, and found that Arthur was already in bed, and naked. He was reading, with his bare chest projecting dangerously above the bed covers, and started, and said, “Oh. I thought you weren’t coming tonight.”

“Yeah,” Merlin said to Archur’s chest. “Sorry I’m late. I was helping Gaius with a patient.” He flexed his fingers nervously on the goblets. “Is it not still too cold this time of year to--sleep like that?”

“My manservant always banks the fire too high. If it were still you, the fire would have died a long time ago from neglect, and then I’d barely be able to undress for my bath without freezing to death.”

“It was never that bad.”

“You were truly the worst servant I’ve ever had, Merlin.” He laid the book aside.

“What are you reading?” Merlin asked, trying to prompt his own attention away from the two deadly nipples which he could not stop picturing putting in his mouth. He was hanging on, by one fraying thread, to the idea that it was not very nice to penetrate people’s husbands whilst they were in the next room. He set the wine down on the writing table, so he could turn his back on Arthur’s chest.

“Le Roman de Troie,” said Arthur, which was unbearably sexy of him. “It’s a retelling of the Trojan War.”

“Oh. Any good? You sure you’re not cold? Because I could bring you something. To wear.  If you were. Not that I’m saying anything looks like it’s cold. You know. I mean, it’s all under the covers anyway, so.” He turned back, cautiously, to see that Arthur had arched a brow at him. “Anyway, I’m fine, yeah, really good, temperature wise. Are you?”

“I’m fine,” Arthur said. “Are you?”

“Yeah, great. I am. Yes. Doing well. Thanks.” He was on the verge of taking off his trousers, and getting into the bed next to the warm, nude body whilst Gwen dreamt obliviously one chamber over: but other than that, he was perfectly brilliant.