#and thats not what theyre trying to do. theyre doing what THEY personally want to do. like they clearly dont care abt what others think lol
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I can never get enough of using these templates HDEJDHSKD [creds here]
They all have widely different dynamics :>c you can probably tell who im most fond of tbh 😭
Leshylamb are probably the most friendly towards eachother, they're in a qpr fun fact!! They bond the most easily but it's quite rare for them to catch up? Leshy is busy on missionary parties and then catching rest for a day, while Allure has to keep up with cult maintenance and usually their own personal crusades- but that explains these two deciding to go on a personal crusade with eachother. 😭 its really funny cuz leshy could be tossing allure up in the air and hes shouting at them like "SO HOW HAVE YOU BEEN DUDE!!!!!!" And allure casually swings a heretic head off and looks back at leshy like "OH IVE BEEN DOING RATHER DANDY!!!!!!!!!"
Lambket is ,, sorta uncommunicative...? Heket doesn't really have a clue on why Lamb likes her so much 😭🙏 theyre too afraid to tell her anything beyond that but thats just their brain still believing shes gonna get angry at anything they say. As much as she is a hothead (she has the hothead trait anyways), it's not like Allure is th subject of that nearly as much-- she's grown fond of Allure like how fond she is of Shamura, nothing can quite compare to that fondness of hers. They both feel like they need to walk on eggshells around eachother, but it's far from that verbatim, the relationship definitely needs more communication LAMFOSFJSL
Kallalamb... ouh. Oh Boy. Oh Man. The real times they "spend" time together are either,, COUGH, apparent Accidental Intimacy, or actually just bullying eachother 💀🙏 allure almost killed kallamar one time during sparring too and it left the two to not talk for what, like, WEEKS? Allure apologized for giving kallamar The Almost Casual Beheading and shi was like "im not fucking forgiving you" (shi proceeds to giggle and kick hir legs when they leave the tailor parlor because shi finds it funny whenever they apologize for something). Buut yeah,, Definitely Enemies,, with. With No Homosexual Intent (BRO ALLURE CAN READ YOUR THOUGHTS !!!!! THEY KNOW YOU'RE GAY !!!!!!)
Lambmura is domestic and theyre literally just like an old married couple- either getting on eachothers nerves (on purpose usually) or spending too much alone time together. Allure frequently asks to sleepover at Shamuras shelter because they like to sleep next to their spouse ,, shamura doesn't rlly like sleeping over at allures leader tent? So ? Theyre so domesticated and silly but Shamuras memory usually gets in the way and they feel like allure is dead if they dont see them for too long. Thats what usually triggers an episode within Shamura ,, so ,, Allures clinginess is a little Worsened because of that- trying to reassure Shamura theyre alive- shamura is the calm and collected one after all ,, they dont like seeing shamura genuinely upset
Narilamb is complex in itself. Narinder is the more or so clingy one, but its a little toxic...? Because hes a bit *too* codependent on them...? The main reason anyways is because narinder doesnt wanna experience death for a second time, he still recalls his original death already being,,, Brutal. ??? SO . HE KINDA HAS THAT RIGHT TO BE AFRAID . but thats the toxicity, because its not like Allure would want to kill narinder ever again?? He has high expectations for them and hes a mortal now. Allure is aware of these high expectations and just shrugs them off, cuz, well, what else are they meant to do in fixing Narinders issues if he isnt able to better himself? Narinder /eventually/ does get better mentally but even so its tough to describe their relationship without it being pretty toxic in the first place
,,, Annd with that , basically narilamb and leshylamb are in qprs! Kallalamb is more of. Like. A situationship? At that? Kallalamb usually has their private moments and theyre well aware of this, and yet they *still* choose to hate eachother LMAOOAOA theyre clearly able to stop putting up this act but at this point it feels Natural to continue this hate phase
But yeah!! They all have complexities, even if it doesnt seem too like it!! Very fun to build these pairings up :>c
#sydneys doodles#lambket was the first template i did if that wasnt obvious lol-#I wanted to make a difference between snapshots cuz heket is completely mute So \^o^/#Lambmura sweep that one was my favorite to do </3#cotl#cult of the lamb#mystic pursuit#lamb#the lamb#leshy#heket#kallamar#shamura#narinder#leshylamb#lambket#kallalamb#lambmura#narilamb#YIPPPEEEEEE🎉🎉🎉Im gonna get lunch now masalama 🚶#DAMN ??? TOOK ME AN HOUR TO WRITE ???? Well no it makes sense i had to keep fixing some mistakes. Also theyre all lesbian sorry💔#I barely see anyone have lesbian hcs of the bishops so dont smite me i am just a wee little lesbian your honor
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thinking about tokyo debunker again big surprise i know. but im thinking about,, the concept of the ghouls' stigmas being directly based on whatever they wished for. im going to go in order of house and just through everyone bc i like thinking about it
Frosty
Jin– stigma is to be able to literally command people for a time. it seems it is directly tied to his mental state whether or not he can use it (outside of the enhancement of the ring). hes the son of the president of anamolous research; it could be he wanted to be listened to either by a parent thats too busy or be listened to Over his father. With its connection to his mental state, maybe it has to do with an event where something happened specifically because he was unable to get people to do as he said because of an internal conflict. or it could be as simple as "i am the son of an important person i want everyone to do what i say"
Tohma– her stigma is described as being able to "send vibrations." this allows for destruction and for sending what are essentially radio signals to be able to telepathically talk to people, though its unknown if it allows for being able to hear anything back or if its just a one-way system. My idea is tohmas wish was to make an impact. To "make waves." Vibrations allow for this to happen literally and physically as well as allowing social influence via sending messages straight into peoples heads. We also know tohma used to be in vagstrom, the house given to those that pursue change and freedom. Shes now in frostheim, the one for ambition and unchanging goals. These also both happen to fit really well in line for someone who wants to make things change, make waves, make vibrations.
Lucas–it is probably the Most straightforward one. He wears his heart on his sleeve we dont have to guess too far. Lucas wants to protect people. It Wants to be a protector that is his goal in life. To use his power to help and protect. His stigma is to be, essentially, a shield. With him carrying around snacks and implying he used to always keep them specifically for its brother, we can infer that he was always protective of its twin. Maybe it was even a wish specifically to protect his brother that was painfully twisted by whatever demon granted that wish.
Kaito– We don't know Exactly what Kaitos stigma is. Hyde says it has to do with seeing auras, but Kaitos ability to see Luca's powered up stigma, to see usually far, and even to be able to near perfectly read lips can be inferred in our time with her. Taking into account her want to fit in with crowds and be up to date on trends and gossip as well as kaitos staunch awareness of how shes treated, we can guess the wish may have been along the lines of wanting to see more. Depending on what all Kaito can see, it may be a wish given vaguely and twisted. Or, it could be more specific, like wanting to be able to see people better, to see things first, to see how people are feeling, to see why people treat her differently, etc etc. With as vague as it is now, there's quite a few different variations that could apply. Given Kaito's clear lack of self esteem thats made up for by desperately trying to fit in, I'm inclined to believe it was something along those lines.
Vaggy
Alan– his stigma is unnatural strength. a wish to be strong. That's a pretty common wish, and a common feeling. Even if it wasnt meant literally, this is a really clear way to turn that wish into a power. Especially when it's someone like Alan, who is to the point and wouldnt add flowery language. Even assuming the demons just inheritly Know what the wishes theyre granting for someone are, wanting to be stronger physically is, again, not uncommon. Especially not for someone with an implied (and stated) tumultuous past like Alan.
Leo– Also realllly self explanatory. Leo has amplified hearing. personality-wise, he's a rat–a snitch. he thrives off using information to get his way and blackmail people and to presumably further his online career. Of course he'd wish to be able to hear people and eavesdrop on shit.
Sho– their stigma is ??? to jam stuff?? which includes opening doors and pushing ghosts and a myriad of other loosely connected things? Keeping in mind their implied estrangement from their family (and leo, especially since we dont know if theyve known each other before the demon pacts), it could be a wish to want to keep people away, or to make it easier to run away. If he knew leo before make the pacts and, considering how leo treats sho and how sho doesnt Really seem fond of leo, was pressured into it, maybe it has something to do with wanting to get away from leo ? hard to say on this one
Jabber
Haru– his stigma is to move fast. of course the ball of restless energy would want to be able to move fast and do a bunch more stuff. this stays in line whether we think of them now as they are in jabberwock, or as of his how he was in (presumably) sinostra. haru is a buzzing busybody. No stretch to say hed wish he could Do More.
Towa– another nebulous stigma. Lets put all the individual information of what he can do under an umbrella and say we know towa can control weather. Specifically, he seems to have a strong handle on lightning and wind in particular. Focusing on lightning, we know via conversations with Ed that towa used to have a disdain or hatred for humanity. This is also something we can still get glimpses through in her lack of care for people (and anomalies) being or getting hurt and their flippant attitude toward death. If we think of someone who has no care for life and a sour attitude toward people, well, wanting to hurt or cause destruction would be a good wish, wouldnt it? Which falls in line with Towa's reliance on lightning, which in many cultures and religious mythologies symbolizes anger, destruction, and vengeance. retribution.
the bigger question is whether or not towa is human (likely not), if being nonhuman is a source of some (still a ghoul) or all (not even a ghoul) of his powers, or if she has multiple stigmas giving him multiple powers, or a combination of any of the above. if we go along the line of them having multiple stigmas, his control over the wind may be indicative of a second wish to be able to help who she cares for (haru, most likely). Wind pollinates, carries, cools, and in many places you can see wind symbolizes healing and positive change. Alternatively, if all of towas powers come from one wish and he was a mortal being before making a pact, the powers of weather as a whole are great forces of destruction in enough capacity. and we have seen how destructive and scary they can be when they are upset.
or maybe this guy is just an anomaly, a forgotten small god such as the one in chapter 13, and darkwick has been keeping her there and haru was the first person to treat him like a person and "wish" to her which restored their faith in humanity to a degree (and is why he seemed in pain right after haru prayed to the other god) and this is where all her powers come from no demon input. or maybe still some demon input. who knows! i love him. so much to chew on.
Ren– SO. all we know for his stigma as well is that it's "good for cleaning messes." ok. whats good at cleaning messes (and is often a mess itself) that ren also happens to have an intense phobia of and avoids at any cost. water. i dont see ren being the kind of person to just go along and make a lact with a demon. Unless. It would help him avoid water. To never have to go near it, especially since it is explicitly not just the ocean, but Any body of water he fears. What better way to grant the wish to avoid bodies of water than by giving someone the ability to conjure or manipulate water?
not directly related but this would be a fun tie in to the hints of ren being the mermaid whether or not he even knows it, and that his fear of water is connected to that. (and if Ren doesnt even know what he is, that would be why he isnt in obscuary. clearly the guy doesnt go swimming so it wouldnt be a stretch at all)
Sinostra
Romeo– bomb stigma. the things he values most blow up the biggest. if we take into consideration his family having been passingly mentioned as losing their designer brand, we can start to connect some dots. romeo is materialistic, hot-headed, and prideful. so, in the fall of his family's brand, its easy to picture him in a rage at incompentence costing him what he is owed. Then, he wishes to make sure that he never makes the mistake of blowing up his assets. Then, he's given that in the most purposfully literal way possible. His most valuable assets are the ones he can blow up the best
Taiga–Also one of the easy ones. Heavily implied that its stigma allows it a glimpse into the future at the cost of his memories. the guy is a gambler and a generally risk-taking criminal. wishing to see the future to ensure you never lose, never miss a mark, it's very classic. and coupled with its memory loss is a fun bit of irony
Shinjo– another straightforward one! she can harden her body to take any blow. her goal in life is to be the most prestigious lawyer in the history of ever. so. you want to be able to take anything that can come at you. especially if we keep in mind the rumors of shinjos father being corrupt, which could mean dangerous clients and associates.... protection is important. she already has the legal knowledge and smarts to stay protected there, so the physical is the only flaw to fill. this would absolve the work of having to train, giving more time allotted to work and study. its the inverse of luca, she wouldnt be considering the protection of anyone but herself. wish to cast a shield on the only part unprotected–the physical.
Hotorubi
Suburu– his stigma is being able to see all te thoughts and memories of everything and everyone he touches. Whatever shady shit he may or may not be doing, subaru is unequivocally an anxious mess. what is a common wish during anxiety? wishing to know what everyone is thinking. and now he does, whether he wants it or not.
from here on is where it gets a bit dicey due to lack of knowledge
Haku– ok this is the one i have Nothing on. no clue what his stigma is other than he is almost certainly the one that conducted the stigma test for the MC. no idea what his desires are. other than the lack of information, haku is already the exact kind of character/person i struggle to understand on a base fundamental level tbh. moving on
Zenji– ??? dont know their stigma or of they can even use it as a ghost
Obscuary
Rui– His stigma allows him to ease other peoples physical pain for a while. we see through every interaction with rui that he is a person who is constantly thinking of other people and trying to make things better and easier for them. it stands to logic that he would wish to be able to help. well. ease people's pain. thank goodness he doesnt have to touch people to do it i suppose. small mercies
Edward– Unclear if anything hes done is his stigma or if its all just been old vampire knowledge and powers only so another harx ???? for now
Lyca– his stigma is ? following smells. the only reason we know thats not a werewolf thing is because he verbally activates it. but. we also know a lot about lyca. much like alan, he is a very straightforward thinker and doesnt mince words. he knows exactly what he wants. it os unclear if he was a ghoul when taken by darkwick, but he was taken and immediately imprisoned on a murder accusation so that does seem unlikely. (and also does like ? does darkwick even Know lyca is a ghoul or do they think he is still Just a wolf boy) Itd stand to reason Lyca was taken advantage of in the vulnerable state of a prisoner by a demon. We already know what lyca has been wishing for this whole time. To reuinite with Neros. And what would help that wish come true? Being able to follow anything and anyone hes smelled before.
#tokyo debunker#tkdb#sorry not sorry for subjecting you to rhe pronoums of my gender headcanons doesnt feel right to misgender the characters#ive built in my head hhsgsjsh
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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"a dude in Texas legally changed his name to "Literally Anyone Else" and he's attempting to run for President against Biden & Trump" [source]
okay, but putting aside the comedic aspect of this, it is concerning the amount of people who are prompted to vote for candidates just because it's funny. I'm not the biggest fan of how his policy about the boarder sounds [Site], but I do implore anyone who is able to vote in the 2024 US election to please research other candidates.
The media is only going to continue pushing the idea it's inevitably going to be Trump vs Biden 2.0 and we have no other options, that we have to vote for Biden again because of Project 2025. Is that whole thing terrifying?
Yeah, fucking absolutely.
But voting for Biden will not solidify our safety from that. Biden is exactly like the rest of them. He always has been. You can't make the lesser of two evils argument when they're both just plain evil.
You cannot say that Biden is even mildly a better choice than Trump when he is currently directly involved in a genocide. That is not some little fucking thing. That in and of itself disqualifies him as a lesser evil. Biden is just as bad as him and he will not save us because he doesn't fucking care.
Cornel West [Site] is an Independent candidate running for President in the 2024 Election. [Policies]
Claudia De la Cruz and Karina Garcia [Site] are running for President and Vice-President as the candidates of the Party for Socialism and Liberation in the 2024 Election. [Policies]
There are options.
There are people trying to change the corrupt foundation our system is built on, but we have to help amplify them because the mainstream media will not.
#have you looked at what's happening in New York & the subways#There's so many reported shootings and deaths and it just seems to be getting worse.#I just looked up subway shooting ny because I wanted to check before saying something#There's reports from like 3 hours ago about someone getting pushed in front of one of the moving subways & there's so many others#or how about the like thousands of police officers that they've got stationed at subways in ny literally doing fuck all#or how everyone's going through a housing crisis and cant afford rent and cant get medical care because it can cost#$4000 to get a fucking ambulance and that's cheap. That's a ride to the hospital less than 20 minutes away probably.#or the rise in hate crimes and bigotry and all the shit they're now trying to censor with the kosa bill#or how terrifying places like Florida have became for anyone thats not seen as an equel by people who dont view most others as equels.#or how they're pouring billions into wars while we're in the midsts of a homeless crisis#suicide rates are at record levels in the us and it's only going to get worse. theyre pulling telehealth which will take away#life saving medical care for people who dont have the ability to go in person. people's ability to get therapy and meds being taken away#Is going to kill people. or how the Biden administration has fucked up their Covid response so goddamn badly#people are referring to the pandemic in past tense and have lost understanding for others who they'd have understood before#they've lied and they've concealed and its killing millions of people and disabling even more. but they will not take accountability.#long covid is ruining people's lives and they've successfully led the narrative that its not real or not that serious.#they will sit there and they will lie. they will say they've protected women's rights and that its a top priority.#they'll say that healthcare is a top priority but have suggested that they'd veto a healthcare for all bill because of its price tag#but will spend billions and billions and billions on a genocide that the majority is against. the system isn't going to begin collapsing#it already is.#its crumbled and we must demolish the corrupt remains and rebuild a better government that gives a shit about people#ALL people.#they use basic human rights as bargaining chips.#the Democrats and Republicans on a Venn diagram is a circle. wake up.
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why are ppl always so mean about taz :(
#every time theres a new arc everyone who only liked balance is like 'oh if u dropped off after balance u have to listen to THIS arc bc its#JUST LIKE BALANCE'#every damn time.#it happened with ethersea a bit but especially w steeplechase and vs dracula#and u get ppl in the notes of these posts saying 'oh yeah i fucking hated everything after balance sooo glad theyre finally doing exactly#what i want them to!!'#like. its ok to have personal preference but dont be mean about it :(#and comparing every campaign to balance is rlly annoying sry#let them be their own thing#stop being so blinded by nostalgia ig#like not to be rude but. i think ppl think balance is the most Perfect Thing Ever but its rlly...not#all the campaigns have flaws but i aint canceling them for that#like what happened with grad#idk its like if balance came later ppl would probably be much more mean about it#bc they wouldnt be blinded by nostalgia as much or smthn#anyways#at the end of the day the mcelroys shouldnt be expected to make a replica of balance every campaign#and thats not what theyre trying to do. theyre doing what THEY personally want to do. like they clearly dont care abt what others think lol#theyre experimenting and having fun#its like. a free podcast with a bunch of silly dudes playing for funsies. they shouldnt have such high expectations or be demonized#in any way#my point being. if i see anyone being mean abt taz u get blocked#>:(#coon speaks#not tagging taz. i dont wanna see nasty ppl in my notifs ty
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A succubus and a demon! (The succubi don't have names but the demon is Kronos and the succubus is one of his bosses in Hell and he's not /fond/ of the succubi for many reasons but they all adore picking on him)
Also because I love them and like to point it out, the succubi act more as pleasure dealers in the sense of they offer up whatever a human wants most in exchange for their soul. It's rarely of a sexual nature since it's what they want MOST in life. And most people's ambitions are outside of a bedroom. (happy pride, asexuals are able to get affected by a succubus now without discrimination)
#my characters#did i make succubi in a plot that i could fall victim to as an asexual personally? yeah#kronos is just a petty lil baby with a younger brother who is very nice for a demon#kronos is responsible for being a dick to everyone in the plot and yet has the weirdest morals and its not fine#but hes gonna make that everyone elses problem not his#for instance he originally goes to earth bc a human has somehow just stolen all of the Devils attention and its annoying#why fixate on one human doomed to Hell just let the guy live and die then fixate#so he goes to kill the human but ends up saving the guy and then agonizes because even as a demon#its REALLY tacky to save someone and then kill them#so he doesnt kill him and instead demands to be a roommate until he returns to hell#and then they team up to kill demons and other creatures that seem obsessed with the human#and so they just kinda kill and banish demons back to hell and its fiiiine kronos is just causing problems for Hell#thats not even a new issue hes always doing that !#and then they meet a siren who refuses to talk and kronos is like oh time to be the biggest dick ever#and is like well if she wont talk and she needs a name i vote halibut#as a mean joke bc why would she want to be named after a fish#and she lights up and is SUPER happy and nods and beams and is so happy with her new name#and then the human is like well she needs more clothes than one outfit right#also shes barefoot and its cold i need to buy her shoes idk what tho#and kronos is like here buy her these rainboots and so the guy buys them and is like just wear these#until you can show me what you want bought ok and halibut is in love with her cute lil yellow rainboots#so basically everything kronos does out of spite to the weird mute siren (by choice) backfires#and she adores him and doesnt know hes trying to be mean to her#anyway the succubi collectively like to pick on the really silly and childish demons they outrank#like kronos! so he is constantly a target for them to mock which is why he isnt fond of them which fuels them more#the succubi are just really chill most of the time though ?#and its just. i love my succubi ok theyre wonderful#and that has been another story time in the tags bye
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Grits my teeth
#dont get involved in the shuro drama. dont. dont chime in. not worth it.#someone scruff me im tired of these stupidass takes#like 1. he is a grown ass man. he can correct people himself.#2. he is not a real person. its admirable that you would insist on the comfort of a real life asian who has been stuck with a nickname#but he is not a real life person. he is a character written by a japanese woman who calls him shuro as a shorthand in nearly everything#3. as an east asian 100% hearing people who used to call you by a slightly incorrect nickname suddenly try to use your legal name#UNCOMFORTABLE. hate it. i do not blame that man for not bothering or potentially not wanting to correct laios and others#AND FURTHERMORE#YOU CAN SEE HOW KUI HANDLES NAME PREFERENCES WITH IZUTSUMI VS THE REST OF SHUROS RETAINERS#they have real names too but they use their given code names so thats what theyre listed as in all canon material#izutsumi is introduced as asebi but its a footnote in her character entry bc she doesnt want that name
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Some mild existential dread in the house today
#im just feeling reeeeally really drained#works taking a LOT out of me#like. it feels less intense day to day? or maybe im reacting less? but its still very much piling up#and im just feeling very...idk. like im still waiting for permission to live my life#except now the permission osnt coming from any one person its. having the money to docit#and the time and the energy#and i guess thats just what adult life is? waiting#and hoping#and along the way losing sight of what i even wanted in the first place because im so *tired*#idk. i definitely need a project of some kind but im struggling to settle on something and then organise it#i have stuff to do today anyway. alfie had a lil bit of emergency cash saved so i need to go shopping#and i need to tidy the kitchen and do some dishes#and have a bath and shave at some point#i also want to draw but again. struggling ti pick something and idk if ill have the executive function spare#AND i want to try and be more social and talk to folks but thats its own kind of difficult#part of me would like a disc server that just has all of my friends in it bc i find it easier to dip in and out of conversarions#but i imagine that would be weird for folks who dont know each other#idk. lot goin through my mind when all i really want is sleep#which also hasnt been...greeeeat lately#mainly because Alfie wakes me up in the mornings bc they dont like being alone but also have a very different sleep schedule to me#and can take multiple smaller naps over a day whereas i really need a solid 8 or so hours or i just. dont fully switch on#but theyre also struggling atm (mentally and also they got an injury at work AND seperately broke their foot ffs)#so they need me more and its just#this never ending cycle of SOMETHING needs my attention#and its fucking exhausting asfghfkd#but!!! we keep goin!!!!! been applying for a bunch of jobs and havent heard anything positive yet but. we keep tryin huh
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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i love madoka magica however i dont think we as a fandom talk enough about how tragic madoka herself is. probably because the narrative itself steers you away from thinking about her personally. shes not a character shes a desire that homura has, shes a force of good, shes homura's foil. but those are all madoka's narrative roles but madoka herself as a person is not really looked at because we are viewing this world from an unreliable narrator(homura) who only sees madoka as those things. The best thing homura could have done for madoka was give up on her, to let her go. because every time we go back in time the image of madoka is distorted, she loses more of herself every regression of homura's as she tries harder and harder to save her. We don't even know what madoka originally wished for to become a magical girl in the original timeline. and she actually acts quite differently than the madoka we meet. shes a lot more honest and caring and bold. by the time homura's has reached the actual anime madoka has been reduced by the sands of time to a figment of herself. she has no wants or desires of her own beyond wanting to do good and help her friends and when all her humanity is stripped away is when she finally acends to godhood because thats all thats left of her. an ideal and a faith in her. madoka kaname died a long time ago and all that is left is her ghost.
#of course homura doesnt care anymore because she cant go back she can only go forward cuz if she gives up she killed madoka for nothing#she could have left her pass away with dignity but now shes a ghost stuck in a web of time and the only thing she can do is keep trying#to save her#i feel like inately homura knows this but she doesnt want to admit to herself thats shes the real one who killed madoka kaname#this is a very charitable reading of homura#homura died too but its a clear moment because homura is our narrator#homura akemi will never come back madoka kaname will never come back#but life goes on anyway for homura#heres my truth#i loved rebellion but im actually a bigger fan of the original anime's ending so im glad it seems like red ribbon homu is coming back#i thought that ending was a lot more hopeful and beautiful and rebellion was kind of a downer but i always accepted they were parallel#and seems im right based on posters#for walpurgis#madoka uses one of my favorite literary devices which is the underuse of a character#i dont know whats it called but i love it when they dont outright develop a character usually to signal an upholding of the status quo#i already explained how madoka is not shown as a character but they do this in princess tutu too with mytho#mytho is a character from a book hes not real in the way that the others are and therefore cant actually change like the others can#hes always the focus of others and never the one thinking of others#i mean yeah he spends like the whole anime thinking about tutu but thats PART of his book its not him as a person#anyway ive been talking too much but i wanna bring up my favorite subtle use of this in takopi's original sin#the boy#idk his name rn lmao#hes straight up not present for the bulk of the manga and hes legit just absent from the ending scene despite being one point of a triangle#at first that weirded me out like??? he doesnt get closure???#but the reason was he didnt need it#the focus and moral is that those girls were 'weird' unable to be normal (because of trauma) and their closure was theyre at least together#but he doesnt need that because hes already normal hes the status quo a benchmark for the reader for the reader to judge the characters off#and the characters to judge eachother off of#anyway anyway sorry this has been so long#i had to get all of that out of me
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Bought one of my lil nephew giannis shoes for his birthday bcs he loves giannis and these are some of the ugliest fucking things I have ever laid my eyes on in my life. anyways it's his bday today so i gave them to him. but they are so ugly. he loves them
#i am not a sneakerhead#i wish i could be . finacially i can be. but mentally i cannot#i am not a car guy either. i could. but i cant mentally#bcs the only time id get smthing pretty is to look at it. and keep it safe#and then id want to km$ for not using smthing thats intended to be used bcs i hate wasted potential#once i got these rlly nice shoes#ive worn them once when i was trying them on#and i hate myself every day for doing that but also i just cant get them dirty#BUT I HATE THAT#some ppl can do that. they get a million things and only use it once and yea i COULD but psychologically i just CANT#im friends with a lot of sneakerheads and chain wearers and while i cant mentally make myself one#i can understand why they can#like ppl always wanna excuse not helping ppl by pointing at the stuff they already have#like oh u can buy urself a chain but cant buy ur momma and u a nicer place to live#like ok so credit scores are not existent then. especially when ppl use that phrase against ppl growing into crime like#yes they are making money now but is it good clean money? no. thats not gonna go into smthing long term n hefty like a house#chains are a rlly big thing bcs sometimes some jewelers just dont ask questions. hence bmf's jeweler getting roped into their crime schemes#any business can be like that btw. like michael jacksons doctor getting paid to kill him. the difficulty lvl just changes#and also. random ppl make fun of the stuff they can see or hear right in front of them#random ppl can and will make u feel bad abt any little thing they know or see the best bcs theyre assholes like that#u wear shoes all the time everywhere. thats more and more eyes noticing how old/dirty ur shoes are#or ur cars old n busted or ur phones a fucking android like it doesnt matter. the more ppl can see. the more theyll know#the more sensitive u get abt whats actually small to u at the start but big 2 them n then it gets big 2 u#anyways yea so like. i get it. i dont do it but i can see why others do#anyways yea these shoes are so ugly lol like i dont buy merch of my favs unless the style matches mine personally#he just liked them bcs they were giannis tbh n then i pointed out they were modeled after 1 of the jerseys#which made he rlly want them a while back so i surprised him today#but yea these things are ugly lol im glad he likes them but ew LMFAO
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on that subject, obsessed with today when i was like "hey guys, can you two stop playing the jumping game for now because it's giving caden a headache" and my 6 yr old cousin is like "you mean 'me'. it's giving 'me' a headache, because your caden". it's like yeah man ur right. my bad . and then they stopped jumping. it was awesome
#the thing is like. the jumping hurt my headright away#but i let them do it for a while before they told them to stop. and then they did#and i think thats part of it too. for somw things you have to wait and let kids have whay they want for a while before swooping in and#asking for them to stop#so they dont feel super controlled#and like. as an autistic person I HAVE TO DO THAT ANYWAY USUALLY#there's so many adult people out there who i have to put up witj their noises because i KNOW if i ask for them to stop theyll get mad#or even on a lesser extent. like as an autistic person w my sorta issues. you have to a let a lot of things go that are genuenly painful#and stressful. bc if u ask people to do things too much they often get upset. even if theyre overall nice#same with kids#but with kids you get to ask them to stop way more and you get to ask earlier than you would with most adults#like. ill be trying to put up with somethinf and struggling and get to the ppont where im visibly shaking and stuttering and on the verge#of tears#and the mere request of 'could you turn the tv ofd#still gets whole ass adults telling me im entitled and bossy#meanwhile child will hear 'thats making me feel bad' and theyll hear that and theyll think about it#and often times theyll stop#and even when they dont they dont insult you!#and people still say little kids are annoying????#when i tell a little kid 'could you turn the sound off on the video game or take it to another room the sounds its making are upsetting me#they LISTEN.#adults have a strong tendency to#use the ironicallt imature logic of ' i like this thing. so it dosent matter if it is upsetting you. i like it so i want to have it. even#though we are in a shared space together. i wont change what im doing because i want to do the thing i like. and thats more important than#not upsetting you. because doing the thing i like makes ME feel good.'#like. litterallt this mindset is easily more promient in adults than small children 100% . on god#and its just about the most childish thing ever.#its understandable. but its immature#and with something this simple its silly people cant let that go. its not complex at all. its stop making noise it is hurting me. easy
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Must a gradfilm have a message. Is it not enough for them to be ghosts who are gay
#'okay so theyre a gay couple thats fun but whats the message' its just a fun little gay movie im not trying to be revolutionary okay!!!!!!!#like i get it. but also this is just for fun its not that deep im not a deep person#thinking now if i should add a message but???? i only have 2 and a half months to fully animate this and its already 2 min 40 do u want me#to die#anyway#caleb rambles
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Did or does anything inspire your art? It’s so fun and unique
I do have artists (both Established and like Peers/Mutuals) I enjoy and I do pluck traits from art I like as I see fit to mold my own but I don't have any conscious inspiration ykwim...ive had ppl tell me my art looks like or reminds them of things i like, whether "vibe based" (stuffed animals) or a specific media (care bears) but i dont consciously draw inspiration from care bears ykwim... I could tell u i loved archie comics as a kid and i love the art style but thats not a good answer to the question bc it doesnt present itself in my work (and if it does its not on purpose) ykwim...i hope dis makes sense.
I always bring up Urasawa when this question comes up, like I love urasawa's art and often save lots of it for inspiration but my work doesnt really ever come out as an emulation of his as a result, it's more osmosed as I try to figure out how I want to draw, bc I haven't seen anyone who draws the way I'd like to yet. (Also using him as an example, as this is how I feel about all my other "inspirations").
Theres tons of different ways to draw every possible trait of a face or body etc, so I just do that, taking shapes and such from other artists i observe along the way without really picking up the influence (and if i do its never for very long), since I've yet to find anything im very happy with
#ive never understood how people do those inspiration boards and you can SEE how all the people they list influence their art#if i could scrounge together enough artists that inspire me then i dont think you'd even be able to tell unless you Guessed#if that makes sense#similarly i do have thousands of folders of artists and mutuals' art i have saved#to go look back at for inspiration...but its not direct inspiration#like zaftiguy2 on twitter (NSFW) is an inspiration of mine....you would never guess though bc what I osmose from his work doesn't#present itself very upfront in my stuff‚ if at all#does this make sense? i feel when ppl ask others this question is bc they wanna see more art adjacent to that of the person theyre asking#but unfortunately its not like that for me ykwim :(#id be much much better if there was someone who drew the way i want to draw that i could copy off of LOL#my art is so bad BECAUSE i feel like im making it from scratch. and im bad at coming up with things#anonymous#skunk mail#so thank u for thinking its unique bc i personally think its very generic as a result#like. entry level art style#off the top of my head artists i LIKE are kemafili manaohu and yawningyawns#on twitter....kemafili is on here though (kemafili1 on twitter)#those are artists i have in my ''fave'' folder. theres others i think but thats the only ones i can think of rn#i also have tons of artist folders saved in general but read my above statements about inspiration#eraserplains is another one... they're on tumblr too#i like raymodule (tumblr) and robottoast (twitter) but again not in a way where im like wow i want to draw exactly like that lets try
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Man I fuckin hate how people will do the dishes in this house and put it all in the dishwasher and then not even turn it on. And then stuff gets left in there for days while the whole time there's not a single usable glass in the whole house.
#what is the thought process??? wait until the washer is full??? meanwhile every glass in the house is sitting in there????#at that point who cares about only having to turn it on once!?!?!?! are you trying to save momey on water or something???#AND I KNOW ITS NOT MY MOM OR GRANDPARENTS DOING#ITS EITHER MY UNCLE OR HIS WIFE AND I GUESS THATS THEYRE MENTALLY BUT MY GRANDPARENTS CAN AFFORD TO PAY THE WATER BILL SO JUST TURN IT#THE FUCK ON. WHO CARES.#ITS NOT LIKE THEY USE THE DISHES IN THEIR HOUSE ANYWAY#I WANT THEM FUCKING GONE FOR FUCKS SAKE#personal
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I love taking care of people omggg 😍😍😍
#i love when i can go into nurse mode and get people what they need and run through the checklist of what helps#especially if i know the person because then i already have a handle on preferences or what they typically need#i have like. half a degree for a few things and i have a specific interest in physiology and psychology#i also used to really enjoy crisis management and peer support stuff but theres a lot of elements of that i cant do anymore#because the toll that shit takes is more than i can pay#specifically crisis related events#theres a lot I have to work through yet before i can manage those situations#anyway. my dream situation would be to work with someone to help them figure out what they need#like. assess the situation. find resources if needed. check on their ability to address basic daily tasks. make crisis plans.#start some basic dbt conversations and try to figure out what help they need and how to get it#i know some people dont want to go to a traditional psychiatrist or psychologist for whole host of extremely valid reasons#so being able to help them with self help or finding other alternatives. or just like. being a person they can regularly talk and vent to#because sometimes people don't have anyone. and just one person in their life can make a major impact#and like. its not exactly like therapy in that way. like i have the knowledge base to incorporate aspects of it in if wanted/needed#i think some people just need to be heard and that can help them move forward#and my goal isnt to like. transform you or whatever. there are people out there who need help but its hard to start#or it's difficult for them to access what they know they need#and i just want to meet people where theyre at and help them take enough small steps to being able to live how they want#like. harm reduction type shit. if you just need clean needles thats a step forward. and maybe its the only step they feel they need#to be happy. and now they can have a little bit of a safety.#like. a little more agency over how they want to live their life while improving quality of life#a step is a step man#anything that moves you toward the life you want counts#you deserve a win#the edible hit part way through so sorry if theres incomplete and tangential thoughts#also how can i do this shit for profesh??#i know similar jobs exist but theres a huge foundation of shit i just dont agree with built into them
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