#at first that weirded me out like??? he doesnt get closure???

[frobby]

i love madoka magica however i dont think we as a fandom talk enough about how tragic madoka herself is. probably because the narrative itself steers you away from thinking about her personally. shes not a character shes a desire that homura has, shes a force of good, shes homura's foil. but those are all madoka's narrative roles but madoka herself as a person is not really looked at because we are viewing this world from an unreliable narrator(homura) who only sees madoka as those things. The best thing homura could have done for madoka was give up on her, to let her go. because every time we go back in time the image of madoka is distorted, she loses more of herself every regression of homura's as she tries harder and harder to save her. We don't even know what madoka originally wished for to become a magical girl in the original timeline. and she actually acts quite differently than the madoka we meet. shes a lot more honest and caring and bold. by the time homura's has reached the actual anime madoka has been reduced by the sands of time to a figment of herself. she has no wants or desires of her own beyond wanting to do good and help her friends and when all her humanity is stripped away is when she finally acends to godhood because thats all thats left of her. an ideal and a faith in her. madoka kaname died a long time ago and all that is left is her ghost.

[demonicintegrity]

Got around to watching the new Helluva Boss and I’m pleasantly surprised at the turn around. Season two has had a wild flux in writing quality imo but I think this episode is arguably one of the strongest ones yet (outta both seasons.)

It also seems to be the longest episode so far, surprising considering it’s not a finale, but they make good use of the time.

Honestly a lot of the episode reminds me of how season one was set up. With a center clearly around Blitzø but still checking up on Stolas. And it’s very episodic and self contained again, which is great because that appears to be the crew’s strong spot.

Speaking of which, this is the first we’ve seen of Stolas since s2e4. I’m surprised it took until e6 of this season to circle back to him, but at least we’re not ignoring him. I personally would’ve at least teased how Stolas was doing after such a big blow, especially considering how the s2 is set up to be extremely focused on him and Blitzø’s relationship, but this works well too.

It works because we’re getting a little insight on Stolas’ frame of mind without causing pacing issues. He’s clearly recovered but focused on getting Blitzø out of his life again. He’s trying to distance himself from Blitzø still. Likely still in that “this was never going to work he doesn’t deserve to be tied to me” type mindset after the season opening.

But we see him briefly really appreciate what Ozzie and Fizz have. He seems genuinely happy for them, and likely is because Stolas has always been a hopeless romantic and a decent person despite things.

Speaking of Fizz, delightfully surprised out how his character is. I didn’t go in with anything specific in mind for him besides knowing he genuinely loved Ozzie but we have a really rounded out character with depth in a very short amount of time. I genuinely like his character.

(And someone’s made a separate post on this, but how Fizzy’s disability is treated is both done well and a bit of fresh air from the usual rep we see. He never denies that being disabled pained him greatly, but the tragedy in his past isn’t being disabled but being betrayed and heartbroken. Nor is he helpless because of it or overpowered because of his prosthetics. It’s not explicitly ignored I think the crew handled this really really well.)

But along with his character, my biggest interest is in how Fizz is now set up to be a foil to Blitzo. Like it's pretty obvs what he and Ozzie has is meant to parallel what Stolas/Blitzo could or even want to have. (Which in turn could mean Stolas/Blitzo is the kinda reputation Ozzie/Blitzo were trying so hard to avoid. A weird power dynamic and piss poor communication on top of the general perception those two have from outsiders.) They're in very similar boats but how each character addresses it that makes the circumstances so different.

And I think we have something really interesting being set up between Fizz and Blitzo. Both of them got enough closure for Fizz to genuinely want to let go some of the grudge. And I think theyre are some options on where to go with them, cuz I doubt this is the end of Fizz we're seeing.

I could see Fizz getting bored one day and reaching out in curiosity to see whats become of Blitz. Maybe the two can piece together the more correct timeline of events of the old circus since the fire. I can also see a potential plotline of Fizz getting I.M.P to be his bodyguards if he has to go out again for this or that reason.

I would also love more Ozzie and Stolas interacting. It would be good for Stolas to have Literally Just A Singular Friend. Cuz he doesnt seem to have any, and Ozzie doesn't seem to have anything personal against Stolas. He could probably be a good rational neutral voice for Stolas to bounce off of. He also just needs a friend if he ever wants a hope of his mental health improving. He seems to be trying to improve himself, but thats also the kinda thing you need a support system for.

Overall, I like this episode. The pacing and story itself was contained nicely and was a good watch. The humor stuck. And we have great leads to pick back up on later.

[druckers]

Andreas maler and/or magda for the character questions?

answering both because they are my friends ^_^ (spoilers obv)

for andreas:

first impression honestly its been about 6 months and ive done 3 other playthroughs since my first so i dont have the best memory of it. i was very charmed by him as a protagonist but i think it took me until my second playthrough to really get a good feel for who he is

impression now i adore him and adore how well his character arc is finished up. everytime i go back for a replay i put more and more little things together about him and he feels like someone i know. i love following him throughout the story and grieving with him and just going through all of my goddamn emotions playing as him. i shit you not i think hes just one of my favorite videogame protagonists ever

favorite moment i feel like its a little cheesy saying the windmill with ulrike and little andreas because its the last proper scene in the game but everything about it gets me.. its a very small ending but i feel like its perfect. theres a routine in it being right before supper. hes spending time with the kids and getting their energy out for maybe a half hour before they sit down and eat... it shows how well hes settled into tassing and how hes recovering and how he really is loved by the people there i think.

idea for a story with the nature of pentiments setup in acts with timeskips inbetween i think you can do a lot to fill in the blanks. i want to know more about josef and daniel and the rest of his family or how he tried to raise august or how his first week or so with caspar was or how he got to know magdalene for the few months before she left for prague. i have something drafted (no idea if itll ever get finished though) thats about him and the druckers before the events of act 1 and how you go about integrating a traveling artist into your family unit

unpopular opinion see the nice thing about pentiment being kind of niche is i havent seen any really shit opinions that end up as Major Shit Opinions but i will always have contempt in my heart for the people who say andreas never dying doesnt do anything for the story

favorite relationship sorry this is a garrett tumblr user druckers moment but his friendship with claus (and with marie and bert before they died- the lines talking about how fond they all were of eachother get me) HIIIIIITS i love how perfectly they parallel eachother and how those parallels highlight the differences that led to them falling out. and i love how they both still really care for the other despite everything. goddamn!!!!

favorite headcanon weird thing is i really dont have a lot of headcanons for most of the pentiment characters? hes bisexual though

for magdalene:

first impression also dont remember it very well for previously listed reasons but i Also feel like i missed out on a lot of act 3 my first goaround. but i got attached to her very fast in both acts. was very very very charmed when she waddled over to caspar in act 2 and said hi to him that entire interaction is adorable...

impression now she is my EVERYTHINGGGGG act 3 is my favorite out of all of them and i love her as a protagonist i love (similar point to andreas) putting so many little things about her together when i go back and play the game again. shes the character i connect with the most and everything about her story hits an extremelyyyy personal spot for me. following her progress on the mural and how its a rite of passage for her and how it connects her to both her mother and her father. waaah

favorite moment exploring in the abbey in act 3... seeing her trying to work through everything that happened the night of the revolt :-[ i feel like it gives you a lot of tiny insights into her character. also cool mural parallels wrt preserving history. to me that entire sequence reads as her rummaging around in the remains of the abbey for both her own research and for any bit of closure she can find because its her first time being there in 18 years. the music (which even lyrically fits her, i think) and the general atmosphere has just like. gotten itself stuck in my mind. its my favorite scene in the game.

idea for a story written letters between her and everyone back in tassing with little bits inbetween showing how her and the sommerfelds are getting along in prague. i have another thing drafted (unsure if it will ever be finished) with her and andreas on the night claus passes.

unpopular opinion repeat of the "niche videogame so there are not a lot of bad opinions that are widely agreed upon" point but anyone who insists shes too bitchy or shes not a good protagonist compared to andreas is getting a personal throttling courtesy of ME. act 3 is everything to me.

favorite relationship sorry garrett druckers moment. saying this as a son who spent most of his life as a daughter everything about her and claus makes me cry and throw up i see myself in her and i see my dad in him. they love eachother so much and all of the tiny ways its shown through lines of dialogue or animations or expressions.. the hardest i have ever cried over a videogame was during the conversation they have after the feast. ive been working on typing up an entire post on the mural and how its significant to both of their characters but given how much time i spend thinking about them it will probably take a very long time to actually finish writing. i want to say more but alas it will probably end up deeply personal... just please take away that claus and magdalene are some of the most important characters to me ever. (shoutout to esther too i adore her. her letters and how much her and magda love eachother.... never EVER forget it) (also shoutout to baltas also all 4 of my playthroughs had tinkerer as one of her skills and i love hanging out with him. i go back and bother him as much as possible trying to find any other bit of dialogue i can)

favorite headcanon shes a lesbian :^]

[selamat-linting]

there was a few things i missed and got wrong on my homestuck liveblog yesterday. first of all, i mistook terezi with kanaya with that morallegiance chat with vriska. makes sense, they used to be roleplay buddies until that mess of an incident. not taking away vriska's responsibility from that clusterfuck but, wonder how much of it is doc scratch influence. good god girl, why are you gambling with a literal god? also WHY rose is trusting that white ball asshole? i dont like him at all. he's basically responsible to a lot of the mess the trolls and beta kids is going through.

anyway, at the last page i left off, terezi and vriska's attitude towards each other is largely shown in the boy-off with dave and john. with karkat screaming in the background (he always screams in the background). so its easy to miss that theyre very much in a weird complicated, frenemy state with each other. that in between space where you're not sure if theyre genuinely fucking hates each other or theyre ribbing on each other like two meanspirited friends do. i've been there sister, i've been there.

speaking of vriska (again, because she is my child who has every disease), oh her relationship/friendship with tavros is very conflicted and, i dare say, delicious? this is something that im sure would hit even harder if tavros wasnt relegated to the butt of ableist jokes more than he's treated as a character but. trust me. imagine youre tavros. your friend(?) is vriska. she crippled you, she saved your life, she berates you at every turn, she kissed you. deep down she only wants best for you. she wanted you to kill her. she wanted you to hate her enough to do it. she doesnt want to bleed to death alone. she's begging you to kill her. she's could have forced you to do it but she doesnt. because this is for you both to grow stronger and survive. thats all she wanted all along. for you both to thrive in a world that eats you alive. she needs you to kill her. oh god *head in hands*

-so its really really sad to see vriska being so lonely after killing tavros. she dug a hole too deep to get out alone and the remaining friends she had that could have accepted her again are all dead or too burned out of her. i wish they both can meet each other again. just to talk and find closure. like, tavros deserves to be angry with vriska and he deserves to have that peace he always wanted from her. and vriska deserves to start being a better person and getting some peace of mind. she deserves a chance, is all im saying. like, its okay if tavros cant give it to her. but some of her friends could. maybe terezi? the worst they ever do to each other in terms of direct harm is the eye injury. or maybe karkat? oh god i dont want to hear them arguing, i would go deaf!

-at least vriska has john! its nice to see them being friends with each other. Tbh john has been a breath of fresh air (hehe) in all the doom and gloom. im not looking forward to him meeting his dead dad but right now, my boy is walking around the village with one of the finest music i heard so far. and then he drive a flying car with WV. its just, he is so positive and amidst a set of characters who lost all of their innocence, he remains as the one guy who tries to enjoy the game and take everything in stride. he felt smug when the salamanders keep referencing in his title, he bought everyone hats and snacks, he gave moral support to vriska. the harley and egbert family is so positive about everything and its so endearing!

-AND JADE! fuck yeah she's starting to show how awesome she is. YES JADE say fuck you to karkat! its been long overdue!!! she also should say fuck you to vriska too as a treat. and fuck you to tavros too. and fuck you to that prince of hope (more like doom lol) who blew up her computer. she deserve monetary compensation to deal with that troll polycruel.

-special mention to dave btw. i dont remember him doing anything particularly exciting lately but i believe he's the one carrying the team. john and jade had to do their quest to be effective in defeating the english demon guy (the brits are all demons lol) and rose had to be their prime researcher and strategist, so he basically did the save everyone's ass part. i cant wait to see him hang out with terezi. Also is it bad of me to want him go godtier? Like, it would be interesting.

-and other time aspect characters i want to appreciate, aradia! babygirl have finally get rid of her hopelessness and come back to life! and now she's bringing the gang back together!!! and putting the pieces on why gamzee suddenly breaks. too bad gamzee never had a chance to show his personality. anyway, im starting to think i was wrong about lil cal. like, i think it was posessed but oh no its just bro moving him around, but somehow that fucking puppet is the one wrapped up in literally everything. aradia finds that shitty doll and somehow its connected to gamzee losing it and the game sgurb and doc scratch and... whats going on????

-in conclusion, timebound kids are always the one carrying the team. they are hard to find but theyre the one who could determine how you win or lose the game.

-but how can i forget? kanaya! she came through. i really thought she was dead! but she is alive, and she kills people with a chainsaw than apply lipstick to her bloodstreak lips. she is trying so hard to be Hinged. final girl behavior fr. i wonder how she's going to meet rose again. i hope she talked rose out of that suicide mission.

-and can we talk about karkat? man, imagine leading an army of kids who did kill and maim each other before the game even starts. imagine being the lowest of the social hierarchy and trying to make the most toxic friendgroup filled with racists and murderers to listen to you. imagine being able to do that despite all the odds, bring them to victory, and have the price right on your hands only for it to be ripped away and your friends devolve into chaos and murder several hours later. its a failure of untold magnitude. no wonder he's so disturbed and angry at himself and everyone.

-okay now that im done with the characters. i want to compliment how good everyone looks. the art and the fashions are all sooo amazing. the talksprite is also wonderful. im inclined to change my pfp into feferi's talksprite because i like her design so much. also because hooray! She's just dead, not corrupted by horrorterrors. in my mind she is laughing at tavros and doomed dave rap battle while surrounded by beautiful scenery

-also, i cant believe infinite stairs are referenced AGAIN with sollux and karkat. and SMUPPET ASS JOKE? on tavros dead body? lmao. okay i need to see smuppet ass on dave again. he was just so funny with it. and karkat shipping craze with jadesprite and jade. the jokes are really good, fr

[melancholybliss92]

The ugly ass tranny looking fat hoe in Kansas finally put she's married. I don't believe none of that. He or she (bitch look like a mix between a fat brown manly clown and a old 50 yr old woman) lied for 5 years. She know she ugly as fuck no one wanted her in philly so she ran away to Kansas . He didn't believe it either he said that's her druggie fuck buddy. There is NO pics of them getting married or for 5 years no pics of the Italian old Clown and that dude going on dates or couple pics on her end. She is hiding something. She don't know she stupid and ugly as shit her skin the color of diarrhea shit lmaoooo. Aint nobody care or want her philly so why make herself look single for 5 years. He admitted she was keeping him as a back up because he saw her post a pic with that same guy early 2019 then she deleted it 3 times then all pics with disappeared. He said while she was with that guy in the beginning she Try to contact him. He said after she supposedly broke up with him and claim she found someone else. And both of them lying and telling diff stories. He got a random weird text at night from an unknown number saying "Hi". It didn't say who it was or what it want. Then it called him on another day. He never answer . He said 100% its got to be her because at the time no one else has his number. If it's his family or coworkers they will say who they are. He said the ugly fat bitch always call him at night when he came back from kansas..it's her. So they both playing dumb ass games and refuse to delete each other off social media until I came in the picture and made him delete her. She was still in denial saying he deleted her because he wanted closure. After I said 3 times he deleted her because I told him too. That 50 yr old looking transvestite is crazy . I'm not scared of that fat fuck her glasses about to break from her fat triple chin face. She hide her body and she hide her fat triple chin face lmao. She smile like a clown in all her pics because she's hiding her triple chin. I think she got a disease. She looks 50 yr old. Wear big glasses that cover half her face and she got 3 bags under both eyes. All a sudden I reached out to them and she suddenly engaged asap and now married. She knows she's about to lose that homeless looking white dude she preyed on. The 40 yr old told me she found a younger guy but now he look fat and dirty just like her. He said anybody that dates that bitch will slowly become fat dirty and stupid . She is staying at a min wage job that someone got her the job . She can't find a job on her own or go to college or do anything. She is using Cougar tactics like asskissing, buying dudes gifts and posting corny posts to keep a man . The 40 yr old suspected deep down shes not happy with that white dude because he doesnt buy her gifts. He suspect the bitch regret breaking up with him . No female wants that stupid fat brown woman either so she went back to dudes.

like her. She put that lying married shit because she got caught and she knows she that guy might dump her. She use ass kissing tactics and buy guys food and gifts first . That's what the 40 yr old said. He said this fat Italian bitch bought him gifts and food and paid $100 sushi that's why he made her a computer buts it's from old Outdated parts .

Ugly curly hair bitch think she special playing games until I reach out. He bought me a $500 necklace, $1500 laptop , $350 purses and more shit and he stop me from moving. He didn't stop that curly hair pig from moving at all. She in Denial.

Her brown skin looks like diarrhea shit I bet she eat her own shit. Fat bitch with 3 chins. She tint her pics to make s elf look white. That's sad as hell and she hide her body for 5 years. This is a Mental disorder where u believe your own lies.

[rippeds0cks]

3/4/2024

I have been weird lately. Some days ill be doing great then other days ill be as worse as ive ever been. These last couple days have been bad. Ive been so bad mentally that ive had to stop whatever im doing (eating, watching a movie, working out, playing elden ring) and just sit there and stare off into nothing. I zoned out entirely when i was driving yesterday. Ended up going 75 in a 45 and had to rush a break when i zoned back in so i didnt slam into the back of the car in front of me. Cant have that become a habit since im gonna be driving a lot soon. Buying a gun soon. Not for suicide or anything i need it for bears n such since im gonna be camping in the middle of national parks a lot. I havent slept well in weeks. Every night for the last couple nights ive been as close to tears as ive been in recent memory. I get really emotional laying here n my right eye will be teary but my left eye will not. I wonder if my tear duct is damaged in any kinda way since thats the side closest to my head injury. It shouldnt be since thats my better eye. Back when i got a cut on my left eyelid i was essentially blind for those couple days it took for the swelling to go down since my right eye is essentially useless. That reminds me, my dad is slowly catching onto how bad my health is. He made the observation “you might have something wrong with your depth perception cause you get really close to the cars in front of you when you drive” and i just went “haha yeah” when in reality my depth perception mostly went when i was like a very early 19 and i just got used to it. Fighting made me able to “feel” the distance between me and everything around me but that goes out the window when im operating a machine like a car. Ill get used to it i guess. Maybe start wearing my glasses.

I think that on this trip ill make the decision about reaching out to my ex. I think that if i get all the way to vegas and still think about her ill reach out for closure. Thatll be a while tho. Maybe well over a year. I dont know. Ive just completely given up any delusion of her contacting me. If contact is to be made itll be made by me. I just cant stop thinking about her and its already ridiculous so if it continues for so long that by the time i get to vegas i might as well reach out. Worst comes to worst and she loses her mind/gets a restraining order n i cant firefight anymore i can just kill myself its not a big deal. I just cant keep harboring these emotions forever. I already dont wanna harbor em im just too scared to reach out. It doesnt help that me n benj (mostly benj) bring up our exes a lot so i have to think about her. He says shit sometimes that unlocks memories i didnt know i had and it will make my ass catatonic for the day.

Like once i had a ptsd attack while asleep and i jolted awake and we were napping together and i woke up to her laying on me pulling me as close as possible and it brought my heart rate down and mental state down entirely, i was able to relax and calm down just cause she was there. She probably doesnt remember it since when i jolted awake she was mostly still asleep, just doing a slurred half awake “do u have to pee” to which i just said no n we both went back to bed.

I waa gonna type out another memory thats been replaying in my head where she lays with me as i was having full body convulsions and i was in some of the most pain i have ever been in. Rubbing my back and holding my hand. I was gonna type it all out in detail but im already shaking and crying out of one eye lol. No snot or anything tho so i dont know if this qualifies as crying.

Anyways i would give anything to be able to experience that again. The first and only person to ever love me and things went so horribly wrong. Both of our faults. I take the vast majority of the blame though. She takes the blame towards the end but the rest of it is my fault.

Anyways

[boypussydilf]

ok folks let’s keep it going

why is fionna the only alternate finn who doesnt lose an arm 💔 fern didnt either i guess but. you know. Give that woman a disability NOW

for the love of god, don’t act like simon wasn’t Equally Insane About Betty, or was pretty much completely at fault for everything wrong with their relationship. lets zoom out from this 1 specific part of it and look at the whole picture! framing that more clearly expresses No One Is To Blame instead of making it murky by kind of acting like someone is. simon put her on a pedestal too. yes betty sacrificed everything because she thought simon was so amazing and wonderful that she would do whatever he wanted to do and whatever helped him. and simon didn’t notice that, for a reason. because simon thought betty was so amazing and wonderful and bold and proactive that she would do whatever she wanted to do. she would always make the first move and he always took this as just: she’s doing the things she wants to do. both of them unaware that there could be more to it than that, that just because she does want to do this and she is happy doesn’t mean it’s the right choice.

so we get Simon Petrikov And A Series Of Emotional Revelations many of which are completely unconnected from each other and just make his feelings more complicated, but we also get 1. him actually seeing and noticing the effect he has on other people, not JUST how he unintentionally contributed to the toxic dynamic w betty but how he has Made People’s Lives Better And Has People Who Care About Him. again!! something or other with marceline!!!! And 2. the thing they seemingly kind of considered in writing but didn’t really talk about in the show. that simon feels guilty about bettys sacrifice to become golb for him. that he feels like this is something he didn’t deserve! something he can’t pay back!

im getting tired so imight start making less sense here but i want to keep going

theeeeeeere’s definitely somewhere to go with that and expressing to simon that like… betty did make a choice and he does not need to beat himself up and agonize for a million years over a decision she made of her own free will and he does not need to earn the right to be alive

Let’s talk about the golbetty situation i want to talk about the golbetty situation. We NEED to know how SHE FEELS. about anything really

Because honestly? To some extent i think maybe this would be awesome for her. she’s always been fascinated with all this weird freaky magical stuff. now she IS weird freaky magical stuff and now she can see so much. she can understand things her human mind would have been literally incapable of grasping! she has a brand new perspective on everything! EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT!!!!!! and it’s FASCINATING!!!!!! SHE SEES THE WORLD ANEW AND IT IS FULL OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CONCEPTS THAT WOULD TWIST THE MORTAL MIND

but there r downsides too. Betty Was Always Proactive!!!! we see how much betty likes GOING and DOING. she makes choices and she takes actions and now. now she has this fascinating new mind and nothing to do with it except OBSERVE! she can’t go anywhere because her own existence is dangerous.

i think that betty “i’m not sure if there’s even any ‘me’ left” grof needs a second chance at life and she needs an opportunity to rebuild her own sense of self and figure out again who she is independent of simon - something she probably cannot do being alone in a void forever with no one to talk to. i think that betty going somewhere simon can’t follow and continuing her life as a god is a perfectly fine way to do this, if they had a bit more actual, proper closure.

however, consider my extremely biased and extremely emotional opinion: what if they did get to exist in the same space and ever see each other again huh!!!!!!!!!!!

my judgement is clouded by emotion so its hard for me to work out if this really would be a better way to end it or if i just Like It, but i do like it so let’s talk about it. i absolutely do not think betty should ever just be human again. her status is irreversible - but does it have to be unchangeable? idk i basically just like seeing halfway-point monstergirl bettys and i think surely there has to be some theoretical way where through the power of Weird Adventure Time Magic Stuff there is a climactic story about like. betty bridging the gap between the part of herself that is now an unknowable extremely powerful chaos goddess and the part of herself that is a 20th century human woman who had, for a while, an ordinary life. and she can both be a character we can see and understand and who can live her life in a new way. explore the world. find herself again. and also like. be a god who does whatever a superpowerful god of chaos even does. idk betty goes and hangs out at the deities club where everyone is shaking in a corner because she is golb and shes just like so do you guys play cards

feel like im losing the thread but you get me.

Anyway, again. Theoretically i like the idea of fionnaworld becoming a fully fledged proper universe because of the people in it, but it’s not like. Tied In to any story about them being real people in their own rights? Again, the means to do that should’ve happened because of a choice fionna and cake made, not just because simon didn’t want to make the choice. Also prismo should’ve gotten to do a little more than just dropping some people into fionnaworld to help fight. Idk what but there’s probably some weird way to tie everything together and have some wild magic shit he does also affect betty? but ofc help his creations that he cares abt so much. The scarabs whole deal also feels like it shouldve tied in more directly w thematic stuff and emotional resolution but idk what to do with that and its not a super big deal so let’s ignore that

where are the consequences. Where are the consequences. Of anything

ok so simongets it shown to him that he has a positive effect and there are people who care about him and he does not need to earn a right to live by doing something special betty gave him a new lease on life and hed better fucking use it damnit and he goes aw shit fine i guess i will try to be alive a while longer and check out this whole “””””being honest about your feelings””””” thing. probably more connecting parts in between to get him to even that point but i dont really have all the pieces i need to work with i have to invent new pieces and right now im tired

but he goes back to ooo and EITHER things with golbetty go the same as in the show where she’s leaving to go Do Something Else but in a way where its more clear than in the show that she has new things to do with herself and is making a choice which is good for her. OR we go to my perfect fantasyland where something either Has Already Happened or Will Happen to allow betty to be……. a little demystified, yes, but she has some method to Exist Inside A Universe without killing everything and she and simon aren’t going to just Never Ever See Each Other Again but they do have to go be independent people. separate them just not so harshly

BUT ANYHOW, THE CONSEQUENCES. shit should be going down. marceline wanted to talk to him but couldn’t find him, for days, so PB’s got a giant search mission going on for her sake and finn is. finn is doing something idk i just wanted to mention him and simon realizes How This Looks For Everyone Else and he sees marceline again and marceline is all torn between a bunch of different thoughts and feelings and between shaking him and yelling at him and gesturing at everything in his house and going what the FUCK simon what the fuck were you doing, and just being so happy he’s okay, and crying and hugging him and throwing him. however that goes rhey ACTUALLY FUCKING TALK. simon is not at all, like, All Good Now he’s just somewhere along the line been inspired to actually put in extra effort to communicate with her bc she isn’t just…. completely fine without him and now that she doesnt need him to survive it doesnt matter if hes there or not. like he thought. and she gets it across to him that she WANTS to hear about his problems she HAS to its not gonna be more than she can handle and he DOES and she GETS IT because SHE HAS HAD A FUCKED UP LIFE AND TRAUMA AND DEPRESSION TOO.

i thimk this might conclude the specific thoughts i have. ending where simon has not necessarily stopped. kind of wanting to not be alive. but has been convinced to go back and Actually Try,. and fionna and cake…… sssssssomething? im very tired i dont kmow. i love them and their ending is mostly good but could have used some different execution and stuff. and betty gets to actually express her own thoughts and perspective and. have agency. yeah. done now i guess

once i have slept and my brain works and makes sense again i am so making a list of all the things the finale couldve done better and stuff i think wouldve worked better narratively. and turn it into a post. if we’re really lucky ill make a banger alternate ending fix it fic but either way. i need a different ending i can imagine happened bc that one. i dont think it worked.

[memoriesofcrows]

bestie. tell me ur ships!!

Zavala/Caiatl - specifically as a very, very, very slow burn. exactly what's been going on in SotH is like, perfect? These two battle-scarred (figuratively and literally) commanders coming to terms with their own struggles side by side is just. It's really good! I love to watch two characters heal together.

Osiris/Saint-14 - like. cmon. its canon. who doesnt? their relationship is beautiful and painful and i know i will cry and never stop when osiris opens his eyes. (he will. he WILL i am desperate to believe bungie won't bury these gays.)

Crow/Guardian - specifically masc guardian/crow. i also like this as a slow burn. i haven't really developed my guardian as a character, but themes of healing together, of romance filtering in achingly slow, where neither realize it at first, culminating in a moment where both do realize it at once and neither really needs to say it... yeah. yeah i like that. q_q ��

Crow/Jolyon (and by extension, Uldren/Jolyon) - i am, just like in general, a huge fan of reincarnation & past lives & all the strange ways memory and personality interweave between lives. i fully believe Uldren & Jol were a Thing until the Black Garden, and i just like the idea of seeing Crow & Jol meet? Rekindle? Ache and heal and learn together? I want Jol to tell Crow loving stories of the man Uldren was Before, because Crow hasn't been allowed that view and he deserves it--and Jolyon deserves closure, too. I don't know that I see them as an endgame ship, but even something brief would be a healing they both need, i think.

i think thats it?? klfjdhgslkjdfg i have such. weird loose feelings about ships in general, i think. lately i have sub-zero desire to read or write smut (which is fully out of character for me, a long-time p*rn writer dfgkljsd;kflg) but god i can't get enough of aching and healing and reconciliation.

[hwangsies]

LIMERENCE

(n) the state of becoming infatuated with another person

pairing: hyunjin x female reader

summary: you haven’t spoken a word to hyunjin since he ghosted you after a fun new years eve together, so what’s the worst that could happen when fate (or chaeryong,...well, same thing) pairs you up for a road trip across the country?

warnings: e2l (ish), university student!au, non idol!au ,a lot of swearing. alcohol consumption,long flashback, mentions of infidelity, hyunjin is a giggly sweetheart, smut as in: dom!hyunjin, unprotected sex (wrap it up luvs),fingering, oral (f recieving), slight choking, praise kink, hand & strenght kink (manhandleing oopsie), slight overstimulation, hyunjin is really enthusiastic about consent (as you should be, periodt), reader is nervous and scared of hyunjins big pickle (ew i hate myself), motel sex (but it’s not trashy i promise!)

8.6 k words ,meaning grab a snack and a drink,

and enjoy!<3

---

"alright everyone" your professor rubs his hands together "that was it for today... i hope you all have a great break and i'm very exited to see all of you again next semester. hopefully in person again" he chuckles.

You and your classmates exchange goodbyes with him before one after the other exits the zoom call.

"fuck" you sigh after closing your laptop and lean back on your bed.

"you did it girl" your dormmate chaeryong claps, at which you giggle before shifting your eyes to her on the other side of the room.

She's sitting on her bed, folding her clothes before putting it in her suitcase thats placed in front of her.

"finally" you sit up and watch her roll up a pair of socks.

"my last class was yesterday and mrs kim teared up" she giggles "it was kinda cute not gonna lie"

"oh god" you snicker.

"hey did you find someone to take to yongin?" you ask, remebering chearyong talking about wanting to find someone to share gas expenses with in exchange for a ride to her hometown.

"oh yea, i did" she turn to you "i think you know him, seo changbin?"

You furrow your brows in thought, you feel like you've heard of the name.

"he's a music major, one year above us, hes also from yongin" she continues folding a pair of jeans "funny you'd ask actually cause he told me one of his friends was looking for a ride to seoul, isn't that where you're going?"

"Yea i was thinking about finding someone honestly because gas is really fucking expensive if you aint rich" you say, placing your laptop onto your nightstand.

"Mm you aint gotta tell me girl" chaeryong mumbles, folding a sweatshirt.

"so who's that friend?" you ask, stretching out on your bed.

"he's in his grade, hyunjin"

Your neck almost cracks from how fats you whip your head “hwang hyunjin?”

"Oh yea" she points at you "you know him?"

"unfortunately" you huff.

"o-oh, what"s the tea?" your roommate wiggles her brows at which you shake your head.

"nothing much really" you sigh, leaning back again "he's just like the most arrogant and stuck up fuckboy ever"

"wow, well thats not nothing" chaeryong laughs "any reason as to why you think that?"

"you could probably ask any girl on campus and she'll tell you the same" you scoff.

"really girl?" chaeryong squints an eye at you playfully "cause i've only heard of him being hot but never of him being a hoe. And you know i'm the first to know the hot gossip" she winks.

Laughing defeatedly, running your hand through your hair.

"it's just- we hit it off at the campus' new years eve party, like really hit it off- at least thats what i thought"

"oooh spill it spill it" chaeryong leaps over to your bed to sit at the end of it.

"well there's really not much to spill, i gave him my number and he was talking all that smack about taking me out and stuff aaand to make a long story short i never heard from him again"

"well" chaeryong speaks slowly, biting her lip guiltily "i dont think you'll be very happy about me giving changbin your number for him, then?"

"you did what???" your eyes almost pop out of your head.

"sooorryy" she jumps up from your bed, clutching her hands apologetically "i didnt know"

"aaaaarghh" you whine, burying your face in your pillow.

"maybe he won't even text you though" chaeryong tries to console you, but the damage is already done...

-

unknown number - hey i got this number from changbin, i heard you're driving up to seoul, i'd love to tag along if you're looking for someone to share expenses with -recieved at 9:12 am

You huff looking at the message on your phone.

After chaeryong had left last night you really convinced yourself that he couldn't possibly dare to reach out to you.

But here you are reading his message after just waking up, and your day is already ruined.

you - who is this? - sent at 9:56 am

You know who it is, but you're not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that you do.

Scoffing when he answers almost immediately.

unknown number - this is hyunjin, did i reach the right person? - recieved at 9:57 am

You have two choices at this point.

1. be petty and bitter about a boy who probably doesn't even remember you.

Or 2. move on and help someone who is also just trying to get home and also maybe get some closure.

So you curse your mother for rasing you so well and suck it up.

you - yea sure, i planned on leaving tomorrow at around 6 pm - sent at 10:02 am

Damn you and your common human decency.

he sus - oh okay great :) i only have one suitcase and a backpack btw so i wont take up alot of space or anything - recieved at 10:05 am

he sus - also i feel weird bc i dont know ur name or anything changbin literally just sent me the number and nothing else lol, also 6 sounds good should we meet at the main building then? -sent at 10:06 am

You're quite honestly not shocked that he seems nice over text because he was the same when you met on new years eve.

you - sure lets meet at the main building, my car is white and my name is y/n - sent at 10:09 am

Cringing as you press the send button because you are 99% certain he won't answer anymore; not that you'd care, obviously.

he sus - alright y/n see you tomorrow at 6 then :) - recieved at 10:14 am

You raise your brows when your phone lights up with his message, does he really not remember you?

Was he that drunk?

Well, it doesnt matter because you don't want to pay for all this gas alone and he seems to be the next best option to fix that.

So you shrug it off and get out off bed to run some last errands and start packing.

-

Your heart is beating unreasonably fast when you take a turn towards the main building at 5:55 pm the next day.

Calm down y/n it’ll just be 5 hours and who says you have to talk to him?

However you do know deep in your heart that you only wanted to arrive just a little early so you could complain about him being late.

That plan got cut short because your eyes fall on him as you pull up to the main building.

He’s- oh my god he’s blonde. You stop your car and he looks up at you.

“it is you!” hyunjin smiles at you when you step out of the car.

“who else would it be?” you ask, a little irritated at his reaction.

His face drops a bit when he sees you clearly annoyed by him, but the doesn’t blame you; he’d be mad too.

You open your trunk for him to put his weirdly small suitcase into, looking him up and down as he lifts it inside.

He’s wearing dark baggy pants and a windbreaker jacket, the top part of his chin-length blonde hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail.

He seemed to have bulked up as well, shoulders looking broader than what you remember.

The hair is different than the jet black hair that you remember on him, but it suits him very well; to be honest he would look good in any hair colour, not that you’d care though.

The first thirty minutes of the ride go by agonizingly slow and in complete silence.

When you drive onto the freeway you can’t take it anymore and mumble something among the lines of ‘wanna listen to some music?’.

You don’t wait for an answer, pressing the radio button right as you finish your sentence.

“uh, actually” hyunjin starts, his hand lifting to turn the radio back off, your eyes snap towards him, is he serious? Turning off your radio in your car?

“I wanted to address this situation” he says rather quietly.

You scoff “what? You realized that this is awkward just now?”

“no- I mean- yes I understand why you would think that but I just really want a chance to explain myself” he stutters.

“explain yourself” you repeat after him before mumbling “sure because there’s so much to explain”

“listen, I know you think I’m an asshole who just ghosted you b-“

“listen, I can handle rejection, you could’ve just said that you weren’t looking for something serious and I would’ve accepted that. The thing I’m mad about though is you literally making false promises and shit” 

Hyunjin blinks at you “can I please just explain to you what happened?”

You let out a long huff “sure” you wave your hand “go ahead”

“when you and your friends left at around 4, you wrote your number on my arm with your eyeliner, correct?” he asks.

Glancing over at him, you nod.

“after you where gone, I was already pretty drunk but then my friends decided to drag me with them to a different party that was still going” you see him fiddling with his hands in your peripheral “well I got super fucking shitfaced at that party and ended up puking on this one guys shoes”

You raise your eyebrows and hold back a laugh, which he notices.

“its okay you can laugh” he chuckles as well.

“anyways that guy was not very happy about it and busted my lip before kicking me and my friends out, so then back in the dorm my roommate sat me in the shower because I was full of alcohol, blood and puke”

“ew” you chime in.

“and when I woke up the next morning your number was gone” hyunjin looks over at you “we don’t have any mutual friends, I didn’t know what your major is so I couldn’t even asks for you in the administrating office, and then the covid lockdown happened and here we are”

“you called the administrating office?” you look over at him, he nods a little smile on his stupid pretty lips.

“yep, so, sorry to tell you but your eyeliner is not waterproof” he jokes at which you playfully knit your brows at him.

“believe me, I wanted to text you. I really wanted to take you out; and when you sent me your name yesterday I didn’t know if this was a lucky coincidence or if you’re a different y/n, that’s why I didn’t say anything” he explains.

You take a deep breath as you realize you have to apologize for going off on him just now, you believe him but you hate apologizing.

“well, I feel like an ass for going off on you like that after hearing all this” you chuckle “I’m sorry” you eye him shortly before looking back on the road.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize I get how it looked, very much sus” he laughs with you.

-

Coming back to your car after you took a bathroom break on a highway rest-stop, you see hyunjin sitting in the drivers seat.

“what do you think you’re doing?” you smile as you sit down on the passenger seat.

“I thought maybe you’d like to sleep since its dark already and you’ve been driving for almost 3 hours” he suggests while putting on his seatbelt.

“well, I wont say no to that” you shrug and put your seatbelt on as well.

“so when did you go blonde?” you ask curiously.

“uh- around end of june” hyunjin chuckles “it was a dare if I’m being honest but I ended up liking it and got it redone”

“oh okay” you check out his profile once more and follow his hair with your eyes “I like it”

“yea?”

“yea, which is weird cause I’m usually not into blondes at all” you wonder.

“hm” he grins “must be me then” he says before winking at you.

“pfff, in your dreams” you rebuttal playfully, at which he laughs and mumbles a ‘true’.

You don’t react to it because you think your ears are playing tricks on you.

“hey I have a question too” hyunjin says.

“what’s up” you lean your arm against the window as you look over at him.

His face is slightly lit by the lights of the other cars, no seriously, how can a side profile be so perfect?

“why did you even agree to take me with you if you thought I ghosted you?” he grins.

You laugh “well, I’m a nice person and I know not a lot of people there are from seoul and my mom raised me right, okay?”

“okay okay” he giggles, the way his eyes crinkle when he does makes you smile everytime.

“or…did you have such a good time with me on new years that you just had to jump on this opportunity?” he quips, carefully stealing a peek at you.

“sure, why do you think I was so upset when you didn’t text” you feign sadness.

The both of you laugh before falling into comfortable silence.

When looking outside your window, you think back to said new years eve.

-(flashback)

“oh my god” you said, stepping into the big hall that usually is the universities gym. But whoever planned this outdid themselves.

A dj was placed on one of the tribunes and a whole buffet of drinks and punches on the other, as well as a big disco ball hanging from the ceiling, making the room shimmery and shiny.

You could see people coming out of the doors that connected into the universities hall on one side and into the locker rooms on the others, as if it wasn’t already packed.

“this is fucking insane” lia, your roommate from last semester, squeaked while grabbing your arm and jumping a little, her voice overpowering the blasting music..

“I wanna get fucking hammered tonight” you turned to her.

“oh babe don’t worry,  we didn’t come here to drink soda” she laughed before spotting some of your other friends.

About five minutes before midnight you and some more girls gathered at the buffet of drinks and started doing shots.

You all had decided that instead of kissing someone at 12 o’clock you’d ring in 2020 with a shot, because alcohol can’t cheat on you.

You were laughing at something when some people started the countdown.

10!

9!

8!

7!

6!

5!

4!

3!

2!

1!

“HAPPY NEW YEAR”

Every one shouted and celebrated in union as you downed your shot.

“happy new year babe” lia hugged you after downing hers.

“happy new year!” you shouted into her ear, full of relief that this stressful year was over.

“lets do another one” she grinned widely after your whole friend group had shared their wishes with each other.

A girl you didn’t know very well handed you another shot, just as you emptied your glass you heard a guy yell something before stumbling into your back.

“jesus” you stumbled forward a bit before turning around, ready to throw someone a dirty look.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” in front of you suddenly stood a tall dark haired young man with almost too perfect facial features, frowning a little out of concern.

“nothing happened” you smiled, taking a step towards him so he’d hear you better.

“I’m glad” he replied, a grin slowly stretched across his handsome face

“I’m y/n” you giggled as you held out your hand.

His eyes crinkled with his smile as he took your hand in his “I’m hyunjin” he said before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“okay guys let her have her fun lets go over there” you hear lia usher your friends away from behind you.

“happy new year y/n” he said before instinctively pulling you a little closer to him when a group of people passed behind you.

“happy new year hyunjin” you replied, a slow blush creeping on your face from how intensely he was taking in your appearance.

“well yea happy fucking new years to me for running into you” he joked before taking a sip, your brain wasn’t able to function anymore so you just giggled and nervously pushed your hair behind your ear.

It had been way too long since you’d talked to a guy, especially someone as attractive as him

“you’re fucking stunning” hyunjin complimented you and lifted your hand with his to make you spin for him, to which you complied because you took a long time getting ready and always appreciate being appreciated.

“thank you” you were crimson red by now but hoped he wouldn’t see because of the dimmed lights.

“how come I’ve never seen you around? I would’ve remembered you” he tilted his head.

“oh this was my first year here and I live on the other side of campus so…” you nodded slowly “but yea I would’ve remembered you too”

He grinned before downing his drink and putting on the table next to the both of you.

“wanna dance?”

That’s how you found yourself on the dance floor with hyunjin pressed against your back.

Slowly but surely the alcohol made you braver; and it didn’t take long for the dj to play perfect songs to grind yourself against his toned body to.

His reaction was instant, hands gripping even harder at your waist and his own movements matching your own.

You looked back at him just to have the air knocked out of your lungs, a barely there sheen of sweat was covering his forehead; his pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted before his tongue swiftly swept over his lower lip.

He looked like sex on legs and moved like it too.

His plump lips formed into a grin when he noticed you staring, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol running through your system but you so desperately wanted to kiss him.

“can’t stop looking at you either, pretty” he lowered his head to mumble against your cheek before pressing a kiss there.

“you’re so goddamn sexy” you blurted out as you turned around to face him, running one of your hands through his dark hair before positioning them on his firm chest.

He threw back his head as his chest vibrated with laughter.

“don’t laugh at me” you laughed as you locked eyes again.

“you’re cute when you’re drunk” hyunjin brought one hand to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“you dont even know me sober” you giggle “also i’m not drunk!” you protested playfully, his hands found your waist in the meantime to pull you flush to his body; at which you gasped almost inaudibly.

“oh really?” he looked down at you, clearly amused “didn’t you drink like 5 shots half an hour ago?”

“well well well, I didn’t know I had an audience” you countered, looping your arms around his neck.

Hyunjin prodded at the inside of his cheek with his tongue before looking away for a swift second, slightly embarrassed because he just exposed himself.

You felt yourself gush a little when he licked his lips again after bringing his gaze back to you.

“so you almost knocked me over on purpose?” you grinned even bigger when he shook his head laughingly.

“listen” he chuckled, leaning down unnecessarily close because you could hear him perfectly fine but you weren’t going to complain.

“I actually didn’t run into you on purpose, that was my friends doing after he saw me notice you” he said.

You mouthed an ‘ahh’ while nodding, feigning disbelief.

“I’m serious” hyunjin laughed “I still have to thank him later; I would’ve probably chickened out”

He got quieter at the end of his sentence, his eyes jumping to your lips when you wet your lower lip with your tongue quickly.

“i-m glad he pushed you then” you replied, trying to hide the fact that your heart was pumping your blood in record time.

“yea” he inched his face closer to yours as you tilted your chin up to meet him in the middle “me too”

His eyes switched from your lips to your eyes one more time before closing the gap between the both of you.

His lips were firm but soft at the same time in the way they moulded against yours, you swore you could hear lia squealing from somewhere but maybe you were just hearing things.

But when his tongue touched yours in the most tentative way you lost contact to what was going on around you, slinging your arms tighter around his neck and deepening the kiss.

A tiny groan escaped hyunjins throat when you carded your fingers through his hair to tug on it and release some of the adrenalin that rushed through you.

He was slow and explorative and let you take control from time to time before sucking on your lower lip and making you loose it.

You didn’t know how many songs had passed; to be honest you didn’t even remember what song was playing when you started kissing.

All you knew in that moment was hyunjins lightly flushed cheeks, swollen lips and dark glistening eyes.

“let’s go somewhere else?” he questioned in a whisper when you bit your lip, nodding at his question.

He grabbed your hand in his before manoeuvring the both of you through the dancing and celebrating crowd.

Before you knew it, hyunjin pulled you into the entrance hall of the university where multiple people had the same idea as you.

Couples scattered across the big room, some just talking, most of them however making out heavily.

“come on” he softly tugged at your hand, smiling when your gaze falls on him.

He lead you up the big flight of stairs onto a floor of the building you’ve never been to, stopping in front of a random room before pulling a small set of keys out of his back pocket.

After unlocking the door, he opened it to let you step inside.

It was a dance studio, the wall right across from you was just one huge mirror through which you could see the big couch in the back of the room and the water dispensers next to it.

“why do you have the keys for this room?” you asked, giggling.

Hyunjin grinned as he closed the door “I’m a dance major, we all have keys for the practice rooms”

“that’s so cool” you beamed “I wish I could dance” you looked around the room, walking towards the mirrored wall a little bit.

“you were moving just fine earlier” hyunjin came up behind you, nimble hands finding your waist as he looked you up and down through the mirror intensely, now that you were under the bright lights of the room.

You couldn’t help but to smile a little at that, the tight little glitter dress that you had chosen really did accentuate your curves in the best way possible, paired with the cute black heels which made your legs look way longer than they actually are.

“but that was like club sexy dancing, you know?” you elaborated.

“hm” he hummed amusedly “whats wrong with sexy club dancing?” you turned around to him.

He didn’t look to shabby himself, all in black, a chic button up with some jeans and a belt; accessorized with rings on his pretty fingers, a  dainty silver necklace and some small earrings.

Some might say he was underdressed, but the way he carried himself with such confidence, and that face of his must for sure be a panty dropper, you thought.

“nothing but… I don’t know, teach me something” you pleaded.

“what do you want me to teach you?” he laughed.

“I don’t know a pirouette or something” you suggested, laughing as well.

“okay” he grinned “this is like the base stance” he positioned himself correctly before looking at you to see if you were following his instructions.

“mhm” you hummed, replicating what he was doing.

“and then you get momentum with one leg to be able to swing yourself around, like this” hyunjin explained before executing a perfect pirouette and ending it back in the base stance.

“that was fast” you chuckled.

“your turn” he grins before moving behind you “try to keep your eyes on yourself in the mirror otherwise you’ll loose balance”

“okay” you said unsurely.

“I’ll catch you if you fall” he winked at you, at which you scoff playfully before carefully swinging yourself into a pirouette.

You landed on wobbly legs but before you could tip over hyunjin stabilized you with a firm grip on your hips.

“you’re a natural” he grinned at you through the mirror.

“well thank you” you playfully feigned cockiness before he spun you around himself.

A few seconds pass of the both of you taking in each others features in silence, the only thing you could hear was the faint music of the party downstairs, before hyunjin spoke up.

“can I kiss you?”

You fell into giggles again as you let your forehead rest against his collarbone before looking up again “we’ve kissed before”

“yea but that was like a moment and I don’t want to catch you off guard or anything” he mumbles cutely.

“mm” you nod “ you can kiss me”

And with a smile, he does.

You weren’t surprised when his first gentle ministrations turned into more desperate ones rather quickly because you could feel the warmth spread in your lower regions as well.

He walked the both of you over to the couch, only parting from your lips when he sat down on the black leather material of the couch.

“come here, pretty girl” he took your hand to help you straddle him, your dress riding up but you couldn’t care less if he saw your safety shorts, and he didn’t seem to care either by the way he feverishly connected your lips again.

His hands travelled down to squeeze at your waist before smoothing over your ass and grabbing a handful of each cheek, you moaned into the kiss when you realized how big his hands were.

Your own hands were squeezing at his shoulders before one moved into his soft hair while the other softly rested on his cheek.

The kiss was messy and desperate, teeth clinking together and tongues licking at each other.

The things that riled you up the most however were his groans and praises.

“you’re so fucking sexy” he groaned before moving down to kiss at your jaw and down your neck.

A needy whimper escaped from your throat when he started suckling the sensitive skin at the base of your throat.

“fuck-hyunjin” you moaned when his teeth grazed over your clavicle.

Your hands fumbled before landing on his belt, at which he pulled away from your skin, gently taking your hands off of his belt.

“I’d love to take you out first, actually” his pretty kiss swollen lips twitched up into a shy smile as he pants.

“oh” you were taken aback, you were almost certain that this was something regular for him “I thought-“

“I mean if you just want to fuck we can fuck of course” he chuckled “but- I actually think you’re really cute and fun and I’d love to get to know you better”

Your mouth stood a little agape “uh- I mean-I” you stuttered, your brain not functioning properly because of the alcohol running through your veins but also him!

“its okay if you just want, you know-“

“no!” you blurted out all over sudden, making him flinch a little “sorry, uhm- its just been a while since I had a date” you smile apologetically.

His expression visibly brightens “that’s okay” he giggled “so is that a yes?”

You grinned, leaning in to just barely brush your lips with his, his head twitching upwards in an attempt to connect them fully.

“yes” you whispered, at which he smiled brightly before pulling your in for a kiss by your neck.

-(flashback end)

“y/n”

“hey, y/n” you grumble when you feel someone gently rocking your shulder.

“mmm-what?” you peek your eyes open just to see hyunjin smile at you.

“good morning sunshine” he teases as you sit up in your seat when you realize you aren’t driving anymore.

“just kidding its not morning” he says as you look around your car, realizing your on a parking lot.

“where the fuck are we?” you whip your head towards him “did you bring me here to kill me? kidnap me?”

“wha?- no” he laughs “no, I’m sorry. Right after you fell asleep there was this huge traffic jam because of an accident and we stood there for almost 3 hours so I drove off and found this” he points out the rear window, where you see a small motel building.

You look back at him before checking the time on your phone, seeing it was indeed almost midnight.

“fuck” you swear to yourself.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to keep driving because I was getting tired so I thought maybe-“ hyunjin starts rambling guiltily, not wanting you to thing that this was an attempt to get in your pants.

“hey” you put your hand on his shoulder after taking off your seatbelt “this is good, you made the right decision I think we both could use some sleep” you say.

You each take your suitcases and walk inside, it’s an old building but it looks pretty clean for a motel off of the highway.

“good evening you two” an old lady sits behind the, probably just as old, reception.

“good evening, could we get 2 single rooms, please” hyunjin speaks up politely.

“I’m afraid we only have 2 double bed rooms available, if you’d like to take them, they will however be more expensive than the rooms for one” she explains politely.

“its okay, we’ll take one of those, please” you decide, hyunjins head snapping towards you.

“is that okay?” you ask him.

“yea- sure” he nods.

“alright, room 301 it is” she hands you the key before stating that you’ll have to checkout before 12 pm and what the room costs.

“do you accept card?” hyunjin asks at which the friendly old lady nods before taking his card and swiping it through her little machine.

“I’ll venmo you half of what you paid” you say after unlocking room 301.

He tsk’s at you before shaking his head “don’t, it was my idea so I’ll pay”

“are you sure?” you ask closing the door behind you when he turns on the lights.

“yup-oh” he exclaims.

“this room is cute” you say, it’s small but the walls are a soft sunflower yellow, decorated with paintings of autumn leaves .

The bed looks clean, and when you smell the mouse gray blankets and pillows, they smell fresh as well.

“stop smelling the pillows” hyunjin laughs.

“I’ve never been to a motel, I thought everything would be dirty or ancient” you confess comically.

He chuckles as he comes out of the small bathroom “the bathroom is clean too, don’t worry” he says when you look at him expectantly.

“I’ll sleep on the floor if you want” he offers as you open your suitcase to get out your toothbrush and pj’s.

“it’s fine, hyunjin I’ve slept in the same bed as a male before” you joke.

“well how am I supposed to know that?” he counters, at which you throw your pj shorts at him out of reflex.

When you realize what you had done it was too late, he was already holding them out in front of him before giggling.

“very cute choice” he mocks the small white shorts with red hearts all over it.

“stoop” you whine, trying to fish it out of his hands but he holds them over his head like a kindergartener.

“I remember why I don’t like you” you pout, crossing your arms.

His face drops alongside with his arms “I thought we were past that”

You use his moment of weakness to snatch your shorts out of his hands “gotcha”

-

“see I told you I was gonna take you out” hyunjin beams at you before looking down at the various snacks he took from the motels vending machine, which were laying in between the both of you on the bed.

“and so luxurious too” you joke, crossing your legs.

“only the best for you” he grins when you open a pack of fruit jellies.

“you know, I was thinking about new years” you say “ and I realized that it was your fault!”

Hyunjin throws his head back as he groans playfully “why?”

“if you hadn’t lost your phone when we got back downstairs, I wouldn’t have had to write my number on your arm; or you could’ve just given me your number and I could’ve text you. But you didn’t even know your own number!” you laugh in reminiscence.

“listen” he laughs “I was drunk and you’re hot! I couldn’t think” he defends himself before taking a bite off a chocolate bar.

You blush a little but play it off with a laugh.

“but yes, I admit, it was indeed my fault” he dramatically holds his hand in front of his eyes.

“yeeees!” you exclaim victoriously.

“I’m kidding though” you pat his knee “I forgive you”

“I’m glad” he smiles.

After the both of you are done eating way too many sweets, you find yourself being really comfortable when talking to hyunjin.

He’s funny, doesn’t seem like he’s full of himself and just in general seems like a very kind person.

“I thought you were a fuckboy when me met” you confess, looking at him.

Propped on one elbow looking down at you, while you lay on your side towards him, his face illuminated only by the little lights on each of your nightstands.

“you did?” he asks confusedly.

“yea” you chuckle “you were so confident and…sexy I don’t know” you place your hand over your face in embarrassment.

“oh that was the liquid courage talking, I’m usually pretty shy” he shakes his head smilingly when you peek through your fingers.

“don’t lie” you push his shoulder softly.

“I’m serious!” he laughs.

“you were the first guy to approach me at a party” you pause “like ever”

“no way, you’re lying now” he furrows his brows.

“nope” you shake your head.

“but I was really close to not talking to you as well, I’m sure there were many guys before me that just didn’t have the liquid courage, like I did” he speculates.

“maybe” you say.

“have any exes?” he asks after a few seconds.

“yea, one”

“well how did you meet him?”

“he showed me around on my first day of freshman year, I transferred like in the middle of the first semester so I wasn’t with any other freshmen” you tell him.

“why’d you break up if I may ask?” hyunjin asks carefully.

“oh we were only together for like three weeks, you can’t even call I relationship. He used me to make his hot ex jealous and cheated on me with her” you say “but hey they’re back together at least” you scoff.

“i’m sorry” he mumbles at which you look up at him.

“it’s not your fault” you chuckle.

“well, still no one should feel that way” he says “you know that you were way too good for him right?”

You nod.

“what about you? Have any exes?” you ask back.

He snickers “only one in seoul”

“why didn’t you last?”

“it was a long distance situation, she was super jealous and couldn’t trust me. which I can understand to a certain degree but everytime I went out she wanted me to facetime her and show her what kinds of people were there with me. That was just too much” he explains.

“wow” you chuckle “that doesn’t sound fun either”

Hyunjin shakes his head “nope, but hey we got rid of ‘em, didn’t we?”

“yea” you giggle “plus if I hadn’t broken up with him I would’ve probably never gone to the new years eve party”

“I guess I owe him something then” he grins as you scooch up on the bed.

“can I kiss you?” you ask after a few seconds of silence.

“hm?” hyunjins eyes almost spring out of his head.

“I don’t want to catch you off guard” you grin as you repeat his words from the night you met, sitting up.

He licks his lower lip as a grin stretches over his face as he sits up as well “do your worst”

You get up on your knees to shuffle over to him, when you get close enough hyunjin grabs one of your thighs and lifts it over his legs so you’re straddling him.

Once you sit down on his lap, your eyes lock again and you’re once again baffled as to how someone can be so god damn attractive.

His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips expectantly, a shaky breath leaving his lips when you lean in.

Your lips connect and it feels like all the pent up energy of liking him since that night finally gets set free, sparks glowing behind your lit and his hands leaving a trail of fire where ever they go.

They squeeze at your thighs and waist, pulling you impossibly close to himself.

A whimper tears from your throat when his tongue licks at yours, he tastes like chocolate and what could only be described as him.

He moans into the kiss when you tug at the blonde locks that weren’t pulled back into the ponytail; before pulling the hair tie out of his hair to free it and finally card your fingers through all of the blonde glory.

Before you realize what’s going on, hyunjin lifts the both of you before dropping you on your back and crawling above you.

The fact that he just lifted the both of you from a sitting position as if you weigh nothing makes you feel all types of hot.

“you’re so hot holy shit” you pant as you push his long hair out of his face.

“ditto” he only grins before attaching his lips to your exposed collarbone and sucking a bruise into the skin.

“take it off” you moan as you tug on the dark blue calvin klein shirt he’s wearing.

His lips release the skin of your collarbone before sitting up to pull the shirt over his head.

If your mouth wasn’t already open from your heavy breathing, you would’ve opened it now because his body is more sculpted and toned than you had expected.

Your hand lifts to smooth over his abs, muscles flexing as he connects your lips again.

His one hand slides from your waist up to cup one of your breasts, gently palming the soft flesh.

“I know I said I wanted to take you out first but-“ he mumbles against your lips.

“you bought me a lovely dinner” you interrupt him, threading your fingers through the hair that’s falling down into his vision.

He grins, dropping a short peck to your lips before his the grin gets wiped off his face “I don’t have a condom with me”

“I’m on the pill” you let him know “I got tested before the lockdown and I haven’t been with anyone since soo…”

“yea, me too, I was tested a few months ago” he nods.

You nod back, biting your lip as you absently play with his hair.

“do you trust me?” hyunjin asks, observing your demeanour.

“yea- yea I do I’m just nervous” you smile awkwardly.

“no” he coos before kissing you “why are you nervous?”

“just haven’t been with anyone for a while” you confess.

Hyunjin nods understandingly “if you don’t want to do this we’ll stop”

“no I really want to” you look into his eyes as confidently as you can.

“okay” he smiles, planting his lips on yours again.

“can i?” his voice gives you goosebumps when he mumbles against the sensitive skin under your ear, his fingers slowy undoing the loose knot of your heart shorts.

“yes” you say when he locks eyes with you.

“I love these shorts” he softly presses a kiss to your knee, trying to calm your nerves a little, before he gently rocks your hips to pull them off of you.

You blush a little out of embarrassment but smile when you lift your hips to help him.

“cute” he whispers when he see’s your panties have a little bow on the front.

He chuckles when you hide your face in embarrassment, pulling you closer to him again by your thighs before you let him kiss you again.

“can I take this off too?” hyunjin whispers, softly pulling at the fabric of the tank top you’re wearing, at which you nod.

You are still wearing a bra when he pulls it off so you take it into your own hands and unclasp your bra.

Your nipples stiffen a little at the sudden exposure to air, as well as to hyunjin’s admiring gaze.

“fuck” he muses when palming your breasts in his big hands, gently pushing them together an running his thumbs over your nipples.

A whimper involuntarily leaves your lips when he wraps his plump lips around one of the perked up nubs and sucks gently.

“so fucking pretty, princess” you feel yourself pathetically clench around nothing at his praise.

You feel one of his hands wander downwards to provide some friction for you, he slots his lips against yours when you tentatively roll your hips against his hand.

Hyunjin feels his cock get even harder when an almost desperate moan tumbles from your lips against his. So he ads a little more pressure and starts circling your clit with two fingers, your sighs of pleasure mixing into the kiss.

“you’re so sensitive baby” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours “can I go down on you?” he grazes his lips over your chest, looking up at you seductively.

You nod as you bite your lip, hyunjin placing a few kisses on your tummy before shortly sitting up to also free you from your soaked panties.

The first stripe he licks up your slit, and how he swirls the tip of his tongue around your clit expertly sends you to heaven.

His hands are gripping your thighs to prevent you from closing your legs, your hands are tangled in his hair and the sheets.

“hyunj-fuck” you cry out when his tongue enters you.

He carefully prods one finger at your entrance “is that okay?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dripping with lust.

“yea” you sigh.

Once you adjust to one finger, he adds a second one, curling them upwards to search for that specific patch inside of you.

“yes-fuck right there” you moan when his fingers press onto the sweetest spot inside of you, tugging at his hair a little harshly. But you feel him moan against you, getting lost in your taste as he sucks your clit in between his soft lips.

Your hips buckle against his mouth as your eyes roll backwards, feeling the warmth of your orgasm approach rapidly.

“fuck fuck yes-hyunjin” you cry out just before he tipped you over the edge with his skillful ministration, your orgasm rushing up your spine and into your head, endorphins spreading everywhere.

A cry of pleasure fills the room as your thighs starts trembling with the aftershocks, clamping around his head when he drives you into overstimulation.

“oh-shit-“ you pant as you softly pushed on his forehead to get him away from your clit, his fingers still inside you, guiding you through your high.

He nibbles on your inner thigh apologetically. You can still hear your heartbeat in your ears after hyunjin removes his fingers from you and sits up, gently holding your legs together to help you calm down.

“fuck” you mewl, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

He’s wanted to do this for so long and there you are, with all of your naked glory in front of him.

While he’s daydreaming about you, you sit up and start fiddling with his sweatpants.

“you want more?” he quips, once he realises what you’re doing, leaning in to kiss you.

“mhm” you humm into the kiss affirmitavely when his hand holds you close to him by your jaw.

With a quick last peck to your lips he simultaneously shimmies the soft black sweats and his boxers off of himself.

You apparently visibly gulp at the sight of his cock because hyunjin smirks cockily “like what you see?” as he crawls above you again, his lips finding yours again and not waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know if you’ll fit” you mumble when he suckles at the soft nook of skin under your ear.

“we can stop here” he offers softly before locking eyes again.

You shake your head as you reach down to fist his length, slowly pumping it and smearing the few drops of precum around.

“no, you’re just really big” you huff with a shy smile on your lips at which hyunjin groans.

“you’re gonna be the death of me, you know?” he mutters against your lips before kissing you deeply, his hand smoothing over the slope of your waist before coming up to gently pinch at one of your nipples.

Eliciting a soft high pitched moan from you, this only spurs him on.

Rolling his tongue against yours desperately and making you taste yourself before sinfully sucking at the wet muscle.

All the while you’re stroking him with your small hand before cupping his balls, as if he didn’t already feel like he’s gonna blow his load way too early.

“please” you whine, guiding his reddened tip towards your entrance.

Hyunjin releases a shaky breath before replacing your hand with his, rutting his hips against yours a few times, coating his length in your wetness.

This already had your toes curling, suppressing a whine as you lock your legs around his waist.

“tell me if it hurts, yea?” he breathes, only pressing inside you after you nod, dropping a kiss to your swollen lips.

“fuck” he swears softly, tucking his face in the crook of your neck when he breaches your tight walls for the first time.

Your fingers tighten in his hair at the back of his neck when a subtle sting flares up inside of you.

“ah-“ your body flinches a little when he presses further inside, hyunjin notices, observing your expression before kissing your cheek and sitting up slowly.

“you’re doing so good, baby” he lifts his thumb to his lips, swiftly kitten-licking the digit before bringing it to where your bodies join.

Gently rolling your clit under his thumb to distract you from the pain.

“you look so perfect like this” his other hand travels over your stomach to gently squeeze at your breasts “all spread out for me”

You whimper, arching your back when hyunjin thrusts into you carefully; the pain slowly subsiding and the ache to be fully filled up by him growing exponentially when his cock rubs against your g spot.

“hyunjin” you moan, gripping onto his hand, which is resting atop your breast.

“yes baby, I’m here” he groans at how tight you feel once he’s balls deep inside of you, abandoning your clit to grab you by the hips for leverage.

His other hand resting on your cheek now, after a few trusts you moan “harder, please”

Hyunjin groans and fulfils your wish, at one particularly harsh thrust, you latch your lips around his pointer and middle finger, sucking at them.

“oh my god-that’s so fucking hot” he grunts through clenched teeth.

His cock dragging along your walls deliciously, filling you up to the brim as you hum around his slender fingers in pleasure.

“you like my hands that much baby?” his jaw is clenched and the grip on your waist is rough , the contrast to how sweet he was just a few minutes earlier had you clench around him furiously.

“fuck-“ he breathes when you nod to the best of your abilities, eyes wide open and holding his gaze.

You only release his fingers from in between your lips in favour for a loud high pitched moan when his other hand finds your clit again, rubbing harsh circles into the bud.

“-gonna cum-huynjin” you dig your nails into his biceps, eyes squeezing shut.

“yea?” he grits through his teeth the fingers that were previously trapped in your mouth now wrapping around your bared throat.

Not squeezing tightly, just resting there as if to show you that you’re his now.

Your thought gets confirmed when he rasps “you’re gonna date me after this, right pretty girl?”

You do look so pretty right now, tits bouncing and skin slapping because of the fast rhythm that he’s snapping his hips into yours, not to mention the subtle sheen of sweat that’s coating the both of you.

A desperate breathy chuckle tumbles from your lips “ yes-yes fuck” you feel your second orgasm creeping up on you.

“cum for me princess, all over my cock” he urges you on, his tip hammering into the sweet spot inside of you repeatedly before you crash into your second high of the night.

Your body convulses in pleasure as you call out his name mixed with profanities, your toes curling so hard you’re not sure if you can ever uncurl them again, and your nails probably leaving painful indents in his skin.

His thumb on your clit slows down until you grab his hand for him to stop, his hand around your neck grabs your free one, holding both of your hands over your head now.

“so good, baby” he mumbles, kissing your lips; mostly just breathing into each other as he rocks you through every wave of your orgasm.

Hyunjin looses himself in you not long after with a guttural moan and his eyes squeezing shut.

You coax him through it when he rests his face against your neck again, running your fingertips through his damp hair and over his broad back, muscles tensing under your gentle touch.

i“don’t fall asleep on me” you whisper sneakily, grinning when he chuckles against your neck, tickling the soft skin there.

He props himself up again to scan over your features, pushing some hair out of your face before kissing you tenderly.

“you okay?” his hand resting at your temple as he gently runs his thumb over your hairline.

“more than” you assure him, cupping his cheeks to pull his lips onto yours again.You think you can never get enough of his lips, anything about him for that matter; not when he makes you feel so cared about and safe.

“so does this mean we’re dating now?” he whispers after he has cleaned you up and tucked the both of you in bed.

“hmh” you nod your head sleepily, positioned on his bare chest.

“so I can spoon you once we fall asleep?” he asks, grin evident in his voice.

“you can spoon me but you can’t wake me up in the middle of the night if you get horny” you mumble jokingly, enjoying his fingers running down your spine as your eyelids get heavier.

“okay” he giggles softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before you whisper your good nights to each other.

And as promised, he doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night because he’s horny.

It’s you who wakes him, because after 10 months of wasted time, you have a lot of catching up to do.

-

a/n: oml this is my first ever long fic so pls pls pls give me feedback, i had so much fun writing his even though it made me feel even more single but hey :))))

allsooo i waited til after work to publish this and i just saw i hit 500 followers?!?!?! thats crazy to me omg i started this like 2 months ago and so many ppl liked my stuff so much that they decided to follow me?? so i just wanna say thank u thank u thank u for hitting the follow button even though im very unorganized and everything i do is spontaneaous and not thought out well. but hey i guess there is a reason that u followed me so thank u!

(i’d love if u sent me an ask with the first one of my writings that u stumbled across, and how <3 ...only if u want tho no pressure) 

anyways thank u so much for reading if you’ve made it this far! i hope you have a great day/ night! much love

-aj

(this is a work of fiction and does not represent the real actions of stray kids or hwang hyunjin)

[gibbearish]

or like i know ive talked about the letter thing before but it just !!! pisses me off so much because its SO GOOD and the rest just ISNT!!!!!

for those who havent seen it, howard is a character that has lived with his mom his whole life because his dad ran out on them as a kid. late in the show, howard receives a letter from his dad (havent seen the ep in a while so cant remember if it was recently sent vs a "he died and it was found unsent in his belongings" type thing), and spends the whole episode unable to decide if he wants to read it or not. obviously he has a complicated relationship with the idea of his dad, he hates him for leaving but still misses him and wants closure, but is too scared that the letter will confirm his fears to read it.

the way the episode ends is that his friends came up with a plan to help him. one by one, in the only actually clever schrodinger's cat reference ive ever seen, they each tell him a version of what the letter might have said. one version is the truth, the rest are all alternatives his friends came up with, so that he can have his closure and eat it too. his father can simultaneously be the asshole who abandoned them AND the victim of circumstance who regretted leaving them every second. he doesnt have to agonize over reading the letter anymore, because he technically does know what it says now, just not with quite enough certainty for it to hurt him.

and like. hello???????? thats so fucking good!!!! and they dont even try to undercut the emotions of the scene or the weight of the things howard went through like they usually would, like the show does have sheldon's version of the letter be obviously fake and we get a laugh track there, but even then it doesnt really feel like a forced joke to break the tension for the audience, it feels like a genuine attempt from sheldon to cheer his friend up a bit. it feels like theres an understanding that while the uncertainty theyre creating for him is needed and helpful, it could also be overwhelming, could cause what would essentially be choice paralysis, so he gives him an easy-to-spot fake, and throws in a reference to something they both love to make him smile in a tough monent. it feels like they all love him so, so much. it uses the father that abandoned him to show him who his real family is, the people who came together to support him when he was hurting.

howard never learns which version was true, and neither does the audience. and at first, it feels like we're being left in suspense because he is, to put the audience in his shoes, but we're not. we are left in suspense, and howard is happy. we are taken fully out of his shoes, left wanting, to drive home the idea that this isnt ABOUT us, it's about him. it's about one man, and how much his family loves him, and about achieving the closure he needs and nothing more.

and then the other episodes are like. sheldon does math at weird times and howard does a sexism. doctor who and star wars. ba dum tss

i hate that the big bang theory has so much potential. like there are some really good moments and jokes buried in there but you have to sift through So much shit to actually get to it

[jiminrings]

oh im mean if i wrote the ending it would started with oc sending jimin away while theyre both crying and then boom time jump 3 years and its all about hers and tae's relationship and she goes to therapy and evaluates how shit went down w jimin and now she finds herself happy and at peace. her heartburn is now a dull ache when she thinks about jimin. tae and oc get engaged and its super romantic. oc bumps into soomin and they drop everything and cry and hug each other and taehyung is holding oc's shopping bags like ok 🧍but he understands. he has no beef w her ex's family who obv love her and is supportive when the girls grab a seat at the food court to catch up. tae says he'll check out some stores and kisses her head before he leaves and its so CUTE. and jimins sister says she looks happy. and that she's glad she's happy. and they have a nice heart to heart and ofc jimin is brought up. jimins not doing great but he's doing his best, and he knows he fucked up. anyways they promise to keep in touch and she better be invited to the wedding!! and ofc she is!! oc also meets up w yoongi and they talk about the wedding and her run in with soomin. they talk about jimin and it leaves with oc thinking about calling jimin to give them both proper closure. yoongi supports if she does it or not. she talks to tae about it and he's sweet and supportive and even oc is like you're not worried i'll run away with him and he's like no. and she's like why and taehyung says because i trust you, with my whole being. i know you, and i know you wouldn't do that. and i love you so much. and jokes, like, even if you did, i'd chase after you like i did when (ACCIDENT) and never let go. and she just cries BUT IN A GOOD WAY BC SHE LOVES HIM SO MUCH. so she meets up with jimin and its awkward and kind of painful where they talk about where things went wrong. but jimin agrees w his sis, oc looks happy and he's glad. he's obv in love w her but he's glad to see her happy. he tells her he's so, so sorry. he knows he took her for granted. he's finally starting therapy. he wants to change and be someone he doesn't hate. and oc says thats good. he doesnt have to keep punishing himself and jimin cries bc its a weird mix of relief and regret he's feeling hearing oc say that. they both wish eo the best and jimin thanks her for seeing him. he'll always love her and hopes they'll cross paths again on better terms. oc would like that, itll take some time. he understands. they both leave feeling bittersweet but lighter. oc comes home to tae who showers her with love and kisses. jimin sees yoongi right after and they chat and yoongi pats his shoulder in support. it'll be okay. and it ends with another time jump of 2 years with tae and ocs beautiful wedding!! yoongi, soomin and jimin parents attending. they comment on jimins invitation, they dont know if he'll show. but!! jimin shows up at the reception last minute to give his well wishes and for the first time in years oc doesnt feel heartburn when she sees him, but genuine joy. he looks like himself again. he just came back from a recital so he rushed and he's going on tour etc and he gives the couple his best wishes. he's seeing someone and oc is so glad for him. he takes his leave and the happy couple go home and make love and ITS A HAPPY ENDING AND IM SO SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG 😭

IM EATING THIS UPPPPPPP OH MY GOD IM SPEECHLESS BABE I LOVE UR BRAIN SO MUCH LIKE I LOVE THE THINGS YOU’VE PUT IN HERE FROM START TO FINISH YOURE JOKING ME OH MY GODDDD

[faemen]

did your opinions on any characters change a lot after playing 3-1B?

naomichi and qtaro straight up!!!

for naomichi, its bc he kind of felt like a remake of qtaro, and i didnt like qtaro at that point either. for qtaro, while i noticed his character arc, i just chose to ignore it bc while realistic in the situation he was in it really bothered me when he took so long to press the button. and also actually, in my first playthrough i got the qtaro escape ticket game over and that heavily impacted how i thought of him as well. qtaro fans were weird to me because while i could APPRECIATE the realistic writing, as a fan i couldnt appreciate him as a character.

and then we get into 31b. up until that point, naomichi's hair looked cool but other than that, no opinion. qtaro was just hanging around doing whatever and i was fine ignoring him.

lets talk about naomichi first! i really did want to like him, but he was just boring to me. and then of course, thats when he does the stupidest thing ever and goes and tries to attack maple. its about the italicized oh, isnt it? well i had one of those moments and was hit with the overwhelming realization, i dont want this dude to die.

it was more of a subconscious noticing thing, when he was interacting with the others, trying to help out during fights, and doing it in the only way he knew how; with his fists. and then in the charger room, where his actual nature became obvious, and he had finally gotten over his initial distrust of the humans and.. cnekgksjgjd im so sorry kurumada 😭😭😭 he really does try to help in his own way!! everyone does!! and im sad it took me so long to notice but he really did grow on me!!

okay for qtaro. weve already established that i was just ignoring his existence. all of a sudden tho, all of that character development comes heavily into play, and it becomes evident what i was missing out on. qtaro is a king and while at first i thought it was even more idiotic to forgive mai after she STABBED him, when i thought about it- of course he forgives her! because he doesnt want to be the cause of any other distrust, and at the end of the day- the dummies just want to live too.

theyre all stuck in this horrid situation, EVERYONE, not only himself! theyre all trying to kill each other for their own survival, mai did, just like him, but is that really the only way? everyones overreacting, and he should forgive her just like everyone else, especially gin, the strong boy who didnt hold a grudge against him at all. he should give her a second chance just like gin did, bc all she wants is to not die, like everyone. they should work together for a common goal.

sure it took a stab to the back for him to realize, but im SO glad he did! his interactions with keiji, mai, and everyone actually were so... meaningful. it was really really depressing that he died just as i had the revelation that hes actually so awesome but im glad he got to get some form of closure with everyone,,, and a way of forgiving himself too, by allowing the others to escape at the cost of his own life.

THANK YOU oh god this is long

[honestlyandrogynousnightmare]

magic reveal

So ive been thinking about the magic reveal we did get and also the different magic reveals we COULD have gotten so i thought id project all my thoughts into another massive tumblr rant:

personally, i dont think the magic reveal was bad at all. yes, i wouldve done it slightly differently, i think it was done way too late in the show and left little time to explore how that reveal affected merlin and arthurs relationship, and obviously we never actually ended up seeing if magic was legalised and all. but i dont hate the magic reveal we got. the key part i really love is that it was done on Merlins own terms, he could have just lied, but instead he finally told Arthur the truth and i think that there were many reasons for that decision being made. 

firstly, Merlin definitely felt guilty and blamed himself for Arthur being stabbed, he must have at least partly blamed himself because everything he did directly led to Mordred turning into a little shit. Part of him might have just felt as if he owes Arthur that explanation yknow. secondly, i feel like by that point he was tired of lying in general, he needed to get that secret off his chest. those two things combined with the fact that Arthur was dying may have pushed him to telling the truth,  because deep down he did know that it was probably the last chance to tell Arthur the truth. 

i liked how they presented Arthurs reaction too, the clear message there was that Athur was angry at the lying, thats the part he saw as betrayal, not the magic itself. he didnt want to believe that Merlin was a liar, when he always saw him as the one person that was entirely honest with him. hell, he still trusted him enough to send him back to Camelot and Gwen so he knew Merlin wasnt evil. If the writers actually did a good job at developing Arthurs character, i feel like itd be more obvious that Arthurs stance on magic was different from his fathers, but yknow bbc and their shoddy writing. I love that moment of acceptance as well, when he tells Merlin that he doesnt want him to change. He doesnt even now about all the things Merlin sacrificed and lost in order to protect Arthur and Camelot but he still accepts him. I think that when he first fund out it was all like “holy crap i dont even know him” but after spending a few hours with Merlin he realises that its still the exact same person he knew the week before. 

anddddd as much as i like the way they did that magic reveal, the ending of the show left me with no closure and a lot of tears. my ideal magic reveal wouldve happened earlier, either at the start of season 5 or near the end of season 4. It would give us a chance to see them talk it out, and god we know that there would be arguing, and if arthur wasnt dying he would probbaly be shouting but the key part here is that arthur wouldnt hurt merlin. i think he culd consider sending him away if his father was still king just to protect him but we all know merlin would reply with “no <3″. but since i cant see the reveal happening when uther is king, i will be ignoring that scenario. and again, theres many ways this could play out.

the one way that ive always found interesting was arthur figuring it out on his own, because he may be an idiot, but hes not stupid. *if you like this sort of thing read “so close and im halfway to it  on ao3, its a merthur fic and the magic reveal in that one makes me cry so much and the fic is so well written* I feel like at one point, he would just put the pieces together, and it would all make so much sense to him? Merlins random disappearances and scars would make sense, the luck he had when it came to fights, Merlins weird reactions when someone mentioned magic, how on earth merlin of all people managed to survive every battle and fight arthur was in when some of his best knights didnt. 

then theres the very cliche “merlin using magic mid battle to save everyone” reveal. because its mid battle, i really cant picture them talking it out there lol,  i picture a lot of ignoring but also if other people saw him using magic, we all know the first thing arthur would do is give the knights a good old “if you kill him i will kill you and then myself”, it wouldnt be until later that they would actually talk. 

and then like the canon magic reveal, theres Merlin doing it on his own terms. i personally really like thhis one because it gives him so much more control over the situation and over his words. *another fic rec here if you like this sorta thing, its called “to the world that let you by” and its really beautiful and made me cry at 1am so there you go, and as you guessed it, its another merthur*. i love this reveal because it gives merlin a chance to explain, and arthur a chance to listen and try to understand. 

now there are loads of different sub categories that could go into those, like Arthur finding merlin creating butterflies out of thin air lol, but i wont go into those. whatever reveal would happen, i feel like “the talk” after would usually end up in a similar way. Arthurs reaction would be similar to what we got in the canon reveal, because the actual magic isnt what would hurt most.  it would be the lies. Arthur has been lied to and betrayed by so many people you cant really expect him not to react badly to being lied to. the magic sure would confuse him and put him in a difficult position, because you have to keep in mind that his entire life he has been told that magic is pure evil, and to him, merlin is the polar opposite of that. i think it would just make him question everything, like does he even know this man? has he won any of his battles or has it always been merlin? why is he in camelot? why would a sorcerer be serving him? but he wouldnt hurt him. he wouldnt even consider that imo, sure, he will demand an explanation, but he wouldnt actually thin about hurting him. 

and merlin would understand why hes angry about the lying, that much is obvious. and he would be reluctant to tell arthur about the things that were happening behind his back all those years, but he would be honest. and go that conversation would be hard for both of them, i cant really imagine them having it without a lot of crying, shouting and even more wine tbh. arthur isnt good at listening which is why this would be so hard for him too, but merlin has to be honest, completely honest with arthur for the first time in his life and thatd be difficult. 

and i think merlin would handle arthurs reactions well, even if arthur decided to lose his temper lol. but i can still imagine him being a bit bitter if arthur judged his choices and stuff when it came to poisoning morgana and freeing the dragon, asking what on earth HE would do in that situation. where the only choices he sees are bad ones, and he has to pick the one thats least evil. 

arthur would probably be most pissed off at the thing about his mother tbh, because merlin outright lied there, usually its just deflecting but he made that deliberate choice to lie. but i really do think he would understand all of this, while not every choice merlin did was good, he did it with good intention. 

and then arthur would remove the ban on magic and they would kiss and get married amd live happily ever aft-

thanks bbc.

anyway if you want any more magic reveal fics (or links to the ones i mentioned, ao3 can be bloody annoying sometimes) feel free to comment or message me or anything, i have a couple more in my bookmarks. 

thanks for reading this rant, scuse the bad grammar, id love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this and magic reveals in general so feel free to comment! have a great day<3

[tottymatsuno]

One of these days i wanna actually draw out this whole scene instead of sketching it but dhahsbi talked aboit this w hollie and think their dynamic is rly interesting to watch esp as Touhi ages.

Read more if u dare

So as a preface, these are characters i made for two aus that just kinda became the same au. One of it was a fic I wrote called baby blues, and the other was the "old au" that i previously shared with another person.

The old au was about second chance love when you're an older person/after hitting rock bottom. And it involved a younger design of todomatsu from an episode in s3. Since i couldnt ship with that totty, i decided to recycle his design as my son! However since this was a second chance love story, thematically Todomatsu needed to be a single father of the character, and thus thats how Goonie was created!

So his mother passed away during childbirth, and since irl I'm baby crazy, and was a coworker/unofficial work wife (bc i look eerily similar to his home wife), we end up sleeping w each other a few months after the baby is born for mutually pathetic reasons. Then kinda move in together bc Todomatsu's grieving and very very resentful towards his son to the point where he cant even give the baby a proper name at first. So initially his name is Matsuno Matsumatsu 😭

Anyways thats the big crux of the au. Ive written about Totty's dynamic with Goonie (a nickname i chose for silly reasons i dont care abojt getting into, but its a personal one) where there isn't any grief and its wildly different where theyre mutually loving and cute together as parent and child, which is unfortunately a not relationship theyll ever have jn this au.

When touhi is little hes very sweet and kind and innocent except when hes angry, bc when hes angry he vents all of his frustration about the emotional neglect Todomatsu has specifically for him. And it takes Todomatsu a LONG time to fully get over the loss of his late wife. Like two whole sets of twins later. So totty is kinda openly blaming him the entire relationship

Which makes me spoil him a lot in comparison, which touhi also notices and it makes him even more mad because I'm not as strict with him as everyone else, out of pity so he feels like he's not *really* my son bc of it.

This all comes to a head multiple times when touhis a teenager but i think its more realistic that each time it happens, even if his emotions are validated and accepted, and even if we try to do right by him, that Touhi never receives any closure for it. Eventually he feels even more complex because we do love him, and have apologized to him, but it doesnt really help bc what he wants is to be able to further justify his own poor behavior but can't bc he doesn't have the excuse of "well my parents dont love me and never said sorry"

When we do.

Anyways i always thought touhi would be the only one to inherit tottys delayed puberty, but unlike Todomatsu who began HRT after graduating high school, touhi was considered pretty popular with his age group and suffered no real set backs, and waited until he went thru puberty naturally in his mid 20s.

His relationship mellows out significantly post puberty and post angsty teenage years, esp when Todomatsu transitions. He gets this weird sort of idea that since Todomatsu’s no longer his father, he could be the better version of her since he has the same face.

So he and Chichi, who like. Still thinks he's cool despite him being a fuckboy (Tima sorta hates his guts for it tho bc she basically sees it as if hes using his generally happy upbringing as an excuse to be a slut and play around with his peers feelings for literally no reason and tbh shes right for it but i cant judge bc hes my son and i support him right or wrong) are like. Both trying to be cooler than Todomatsu.

So Todomi or whichever name i settled on kinda just side eyes them, and this rly breaks both of their confidence in the matter since Touhi later realizes his mullet really was stupid and Chichi wears those big ass dorky glasses and they both actually really respected and was influenced by Totty's style when she was all dressed up.

Anyways Touhi grows up kinds being in between being a silly cutie, and actually succeeding with the whole heart-breaker thing Todomatsu tried to do around his age.

I get the feeling tho he's not gonna ever claim any kids he does happen to have in the future, and cant see him getting married, but he'd definitely be a fun uncle.

You all must click my uncropped and quickly done sketches of my children to understand her headache. Here they are thru out the years.

[takara-kaneko]

I know I request a lot now so take your time. It could you do a part 2 to the mc leaving one? Good or bad doesnt matter, just some closure about if they’re capable of changing and get mc back? Maybe building up mcs confidence again bc now they’re hesitant to start planning parties again.

Surprisingly, I’m still here! Pandemic life has been really getting to me, haha, but I am still here! I’ve been working on this fic for a while, and it has become much larger than I had first anticipated, but I hope that you enjoy it nonetheless!  If you haven’t read the first story, then click Here!! 

Let Me Go Part 2 (Good End) 

Zen 🎭

He was in his dressing room, changing out of the costume of his most recent character. The performance was a success, and he had been receiving so many compliments by the audience and the cast alike. But he didn’t really feel happy. Hell, he hadn’t been happy for a long time now. Not since MC left. 

Without thinking, he pulled out his phone and unlocked it. Staring at back him was her contact photo, with an empty text bar below. Zen had written up so many drafts, each giving a different apology, and each begging for forgiveness. But he never sent them to her. Not until everything within the RFA was fixed; not until he had fixed everything. 

It has taken some hard work, but he was finally believing that things were the way they should be. The RFA was making strides coping with their loss of Rika. Many, himself included, were really starting to move on. Maybe it was time for him to message. 

With bated breath, he began typing. “I don’t know if this is too late, but I’m sorry. For everything. I don’t expect your forgiveness, nor do I deserve it… I’m just… trying to repair what I’ve done. I’m trying to fix me. MC, I love you, more than I can express in a text. I hope you know that.”

His finger hovered over the ‘send’ button. It had been months, did she really want to get something from him now? Would she even care, or has she already gotten over him? Zen shook his head, trying to ignore his thoughts. With nothing to lose, he sent it. As it was delivered, he heard a chime from outside his door, followed by a soft curse.

Curious, Zen approached the door and opened it. There was no one in front of him, but as he looked out, he saw a figure walking away from him. A figure that had haunted his thoughts and riddled his dreams. Zen stepped forward a few steps and reached out to her, a painful expression painting his face. 

“MC! MC, wait...” 

She stopped but doesn’t turn back to him. “I watched the show…” He strained to hear her, she was almost whispering, “You were really good, Zen.” 

Zen had to restrain himself from approaching her. From wrapping her in his arms and refuse to let her go ever again. But he couldn’t do that to her, she had every right to leave him and never return.

“I didn’t know you were going to watch it. I could’ve gotten you tickets.” He didn’t really know what to say. He was being awkward, Zen knew he was, but so long as she continued to talk to him, he couldn’t ask for anything more. 

MC still didn’t move, almost frozen where she stood. “I didn’t know I was either. A friend of mine got tickets and she didn’t tell me where we were going until I saw you on stage. And I…” Turning her head towards him, he could see the tears falling from her eyes. “...I realized how much I’ve really missed you, Hyun.” 

There wasn’t even a moment to think before Zen was in front of her, wiping away the tears on MC’s face. “Jagi, please don’t cry, I don’t deserve your tears. I’m the one who caused you to leave.” 

He wrapped his arms around her, burying his head in the crook of her neck. If she was really going to be out of his life, he wanted one last memory of her. Her scent, the feeling of her on his skin. Anything he could, he wanted to remember. 

“I’m so sorry, MC… I’m so sorry.” A sob escaped Zen as he stood there, gripping the love of his life. 

“Did you mean it?” She whispered into his chest, “Your text, do you really mean what you wrote?” 

Zen stopped a moment. Did she really not think that he would change everything if it would give him a chance to get her back? “Baby, of course, I do. I would do anything, anything, if it meant that you would still be here.” 

MC sniffled a bit before taking a few steps back. More than anything, Zen wanted to hold on, wanted to have her stay and be with him. But it was her choice, and he refused to take that away from her. As he released her, Zen clenched his jaw to restrain his want to grab her hand. 

She looked up at him, her lip quivering. “I can’t… I can’t just come back like nothing ever happened.” 

 Zen nodded. Yes, he knew that this would be the answer. After all, he didn’t deserve her, even for the time he actually had her. To get MC back was just- 

“We have to start over.”  She declared, pulling Zen out from his own thoughts in a flash, “From the beginning. I need to know that this is real, not something you’ll say to get me back and it goes back to the way it was before. I can’t do that again and I-”

MC’s words are cut short by the feeling of Zen’s hand caressing her face. He looked at her, with nothing but pure euphoria. “For you to be in my life, even if it’s just as friends, I’ll do whatever you need me to. If you want to restart, I’ll just...” 

 Taking a few steps back, he reached out his hand for a handshake, “Hi, my name is Hyun Ryu, stage name Zen. And I am hopelessly in love with you.”

Trying to fight back the tears, she reached up and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, I’m MC. And I have missed you every second you have been out of my life.” 

Yoosung ⭐️

These past few months had been a really rough time for Yoosung. Not only having to deal with the regular stresses of his life, but he also had no idea how to do it without depending on someone as capable as MC. 

He had decided to focus entirely on school, even considered dropping out of the RFA, but at their refusal, he explained what happened. The weight of their actions dawned on them. The whole group pledged to work on this mistake, without much pushing from Yoosung. They all seemed to miss MC, even if it isn’t as much as Yoosung did. 

But with the RFA making steady progress, Yoosung decided to get a hold on his life, passing all of his courses this year with flying colors. 

Part of him wanted to call MC, tell her all the good things he accomplished in his strides to become better, but with only time he’s heard from her was the reply to the text he sent the night she left; he didn’t feel he deserved to talk to MC. He didn’t want to bother her. She likely never wanted to see him again, and he couldn’t blame her. 

 But with finals finally done, Yoosung felt like it was time to reward himself for his success. There was a limited time expansion for LOLOL and Yoosung had just saved enough to get it. He went into the game store, excited to finally get to play it. 

Getting in line, he couldn’t help but stare at the hair of the woman in front of him. If he didn’t know better, he probably would’ve thought that it was MC-

Wait. Was that MC? She had the same beautiful locks, the same frame, but it was hard to tell from the baggy sweatshirt she had on. He stood, awkwardly staring at the girl in front of him, trying to build up the nerve to just poke, maybe brush into her so she’d turn around?   

No, no that was stupid… What if it was her, what then?  ‘Oh hey MC, nice to see you again? I haven’t been a happy a single moment since you left; I need you in my life.’ Yeah, Yoosung tells himself, that’s a horrible plan. If it was her, she probably wouldn’t want to see him, anyway. 

He pulls out his phone to look at her last text, “And my heart to you, Star.” Sure, she said that, but did he actually deserve that? Wasn’t what he put her through enough?  But even so… he wanted to see her, even just once. He glanced back down at his phone, at her ring that has become his keychain and made up his mind. 

“Hey, sunshine.” He said, enough for the girl in front him, but not loud enough that it was directed toward her. He watched as she flinched, dropping her phone in the process. 

Yoosung went for it, apologizing as he did. Picking up the phone, he freezes. On the lock screen was of him, happily hugging the love of his life. He remembered that photo, it was the first time MC told him that she loved him. It was one of the happiest moments in Yoosung's life. 

A pair of hands met his, taking the phone. Yoosung almost tried to keep the phone to keep looking at the photo, but it’s not his phone, so he let the other hands take it. Standing back up, he was face to face with MC. 

Status: Frozen

Yoosung had no idea what he was supposed to do. Should he talk? Wave? Maybe just ignore her…? What? no! Swallowing thickly, Yoosung stuck his hand out to wave at her. 

‘I’m such an idiot’ Flashed through his head, but he had to push past it. 

“Hey, Sunshine. You… you look really good.” 

She looked down at her sweatshirt and baggy pants and laughed softly, “I haven’t taken a shower in two days, I needed to get to a high enough level to be able to play the DLC. I don’t have you to carry me through those high-level missions anymore…” MC trails off, looking away from him.

“Are you kidding?” Yoosung said, surprised, "You were much better than me when I started. You’ll be one of the top members on the server in no time! You’re already at ranking 137, that’s incredible to only have been playing for a few months!”

At his words, MC’s eyes widened. Yoosung realized how weird his statement must’ve been. Who keeps track of their ex-girlfriend’s gaming status? Him, definitely. There were times Yoosung wanted to offer her the legendary gear he had collected, but could never build up enough courage. 

Clutching a strand of her hair, MC sucked in a breath, “Well… How have you been? Classes going well?” 

Yoosung nodded shyly, now embarrassed and not sure what to say with her finally in front of him, “Yeah, Finally passed with some of the top grades in my class! Your study guides really helped me out, though I missed working with you on them.” 

“Well, you seem to be getting along fine, so you can’t be missing much.” 

With furrowed brows, Yoosung caught MC's hand as she was about to turn away, “MC… I have been doing these things for you. For how much you pushed me and supported me. For me to fail when you left, would be the ultimate proof that I never should have had you in the first place.” 

MC opened her mouth to speak, but Yoosung persisted, not allowing her to say something that couldn’t be more wrong, “You think I’ve just moved on, but I still haven’t, I swear that to you. Instead, I’m trying to be someone you’d be proud of. Improving my grades, becoming more independent. Even the RFA is trying to change to make it more welcoming to you, if you’d ever think about coming back to me-  us. Come back to us.” 

There was so much more he wanted to say, needed to say. But just as he opened his mouth to speak- 

“Miss, you’re next.” The cashier said, gesturing to MC. Hesitantly, MC released her hand from his grasp and left him alone. He watched as she conversed lightly with the attendant checking out her game. With a smile, he returned her change and a bag with the game inside. Yoosung reached out to talk to her again, but the man calling him caught him off guard. He glanced over towards the man, then back to MC, only to see she was gone. 

With a heavy heart, he reached the man and bought his game, not even reciprocating the attendant’s excited comments about the DLC. Exiting the store, Yoosung was trying not to cry. (He needed to get back home before that happened) So as he went through the door, he didn’t see the figure standing beside it until they had grabbed the back of his shirt. But he was sad, he was angry, he was ready to throw down. Imagine his surprise when he turned, fists formed, only to be face-to-face with MC once again. 

“Sorry to scare you!”  She squeaked, putting her hands up in surrender. 

The sadness in his heart immediately changed to relief as he looked into her serene eyes. Everything was right with the world once again. 

 MC stood there, mustering up the courage to ask the one thing has had been wanting to say since the beginning of their conversation. “I was uh, just wondering if you would like to… You don’t have to say yes, but I’d like you to.”

Even though nothing was actually explained, Yoosung still had a slight idea of what she was trying to say, “I’d love to work together to beat the next few levels with you, MC. Superman Yoosung is always here for Eternal Sunshine MC.” 

She nodded at him, tears beginning to prick the corners of her eyes “I think I’d really like that.” 

Jumin 🍷

“Just reporting: Has the famous CEO bachelor finally found his date to the upcoming charity ball?” 

With a sigh, Jumin turned off his smartphone. Despite their engagement was never announced publicly, reporters everywhere were trying to pin down who was the 'next woman' to be Jumin’s girl now that he was seemingly single. What they never accounted for was that he had no other plans. MC was the only woman he believed could ever understand him. And in these few months, that point became even more airtight. Not even his father truly understood the pain he was going through. He found himself wanting nothing more than to just work and stay home, avoiding everyone. 

But he did have to go to this charity ball. He had made a large donation, albeit in the company’s name, to the organization. After all, it was one that MC supported the most. It meant the world to her, so he’d give it as much support as he could. 

Jumin exited the limo and easily ignored the flashing lights of the cameras around him. Ignored the passing questions and remarks from the reporters. All but one. 

“Have you finally found a replacement for your ex-girlfriend?” 

It took all he had not to turn back to the reporter. MC could never just be replaced. There was no one in the world like her. So with gritted teeth, he entered into the building. 

For Jumin, entering the room immediately calmed his nerves. Looking around the scenery was like a breath of fresh air when such a feeling was so foreign to him recently. He couldn’t spot anything in particular that could make him feel that way, but the whole place just felt so comfortable. 

Glancing at the people, however, there was someone that stuck out among the rest. A woman in a sleek, black dress, carrying a glass of champagne as she laughed with the man across from her. Anger flared in the back of his mind as he watched the smile that graced her slender face. As the man touched the soft skin on her hand. No one should touch his MC- 

But she wasn’t his anymore, was she? And he no longer had a say on who she talked to, not that she would have completely listened to him anyways. 

Even as he was thinking this, Jumin found himself nearing them. Seems his subconscious was wanting to see her once more. Wanting to get that man’s hand off of her. But would she even want to see him? 

Not stepping any further, he began watching her again, trying to commit every feature to memory. But she caught his eyes for a moment before turning back to the target of her conversation. With a small handshake, she turned and headed towards him. 

Unprepared for this conversation, he picked up a glass of champagne from a tray passing him by and drank at least half of the liquid in one gulp. He noted the smile on her face as he did it, which he found interesting. But there was no time to think about it as MC was already on him before he knew it. “Jumin, it’s a pleasure to see you could make it out here. I take you were the one behind C&R’s large monetary donation?” 

Jumin was still frozen, unsure of what to say. She seemed happy. And she was the one to come to him, not the other way around. Surely she actually wanted to speak to him or she wouldn’t have come to him, right? He coughed lightly and looked into her eyes, “Yes, I remember you speaking so highly about this charity, so when the opportunity arose, I made sure to contribute. The RFA’s funding should be coming here too from the most recent party, as well.” 

“Yes, I’m aware,” MC nodded, gesturing vaguely behind her, “I spoke to V a moment ago, he came to represent the RFA.” Puzzled, he looked at her with a curious expression. MC understood and smiled, “I’m now one of the leading positions within the organization. I’m their event coordinator, so I get the list of attendants, as well as how much they donated. Both C&R and the RFA’s were very generous, I must thank you.” 

While it was unexpected, Jumin wasn't surprised. MC was very talented and capable of greatness. He smiled at her, and nodded slowly, “I’m glad to see you’re still making a name for yourself, MC. You’re a talented woman, they are very lucky to have you here.” 

A blush spread across her face at his words. She looked down at the ground for a moment before gazing back at Jumin. There was so much he wanted to say, but here and now wasn’t the right time. He leaned in closer to her, his breath brushing past her ear, “May I speak with you a moment?”   

She nodded slowly and followed him to the corner of the room, away from the crowd. Not that he truly noticed them in the beginning, as everything else seemed to fade away when he is with her. But in their isolation, he could feel his heart swell. Jumin wanted to hold her hand, kiss her, tell her how much he missed her, and loved her. How much he prayed she would come back. But none of that actually came out, all he could do was close the distance between them and wrap his arms around her affectionately. Tears pricked the corner of his eyes as he held her against him. 

Jumin shakily sighed as her hands gripped the fabric of his suit, “Oh, how I’ve missed you…” 

In a quick motion, she pulled away from him, but only enough to look at him with a scrutinizing gaze, “You actually missed me?” 

“Without a doubt, I have longed for you every moment you were away. Did you think otherwise?” He looked at her, feeling a mix of curiosity and worry. 

MC shook her head, her smile falling as confusion began to cover her expression, “If you missed me, why haven’t you tried to bring me back? A message, a call… anything? You’ve been silent this whole time… Even V talks to me more than you do and we both know how hard he is to get in touch with.” 

Sliding his hands down to hold her hand, Jumin tried to put his thoughts into words. “Because I don’t deserve you. You were perfect and I was… flawed. All of us were. I didn’t want you to be brought down because of us. You had left for a good reason." 

“Jumin,” She said softly, “I am far from perfect. I left you instead of trying to work with you on it. And when you never called... I thought you hated me-“ 

Without wasting a moment, Jumin leaned in to connect his lips with hers, cutting off her next words. Hate her? He never once held the smallest amount of anger towards her, the thought of it was revolting. Separating their lips just enough for him to speak, he leaned against her forehead,  “I could never hate the woman I’m hopelessly in love with.” 

She closed the distance between them, sealing the two in another kiss. They embraced in the corner of the room and began to dance before the music even began to play. 

Saeyoung 🚧

Every day was just like the last. Get up, work, finish the job, sleep. The only variation was when Vanderwood would show up in the day. Ever since MC left, he had been coming over more often, complaining that he had to clean up after him more now that MC wasn’t there anymore. 

Though it was really to make sure that he was okay and to force him to eat.

And he was right. Once she left, Seayoung fell right back into his bad habits. Not eating, barely ever sleeping. He was nothing more than a slave with survival as his only goal. To live long enough to see those he loved living a happy life without him. 

But it was odd, he wasn’t able to track MC here recently. She was on the CCTV still, trying to talk to him through it ignoring the strange looks she got for shouting and gesturing at a surveillance camera. But in the world of binary numbers, it was almost like she turned into a ghost. 

With a sigh, Saeyoung turned on his system to continue working on his newest assignment. Maybe it was a good thing, to never be able to see her. Then he’d never be reminded of all the reasons he should never have made her leave.

 `ALERT: VIRUS DETECTED` 

The words covered the page. Not knowing what had happened, he knew one thing. He had been hacked.

Saeyoung froze.  How did… it wasn’t possible. With crossed brows, he began trying to get around the evident hacking that had infiltrated his servers. All the information he had on this comp- 

“Oh, no... God, please... No.” He muttered, remembering all of the photos he had of his brother and of MC. If his ineptitude put either of them at risk, he could never forgive himself. 

But as he broke deeper and deeper through the firewalls that were placed, he noticed that the hacker had a lock on everything but the photos of them. It didn’t make sense, but it was almost completely untouched.

As he clicked the folder, their photos appeared on screen, untouched, perfect. Except, there was one addition, a video with a black screen. 

 Holding his breath, Saeyoung opens the video. It shows a blank screen for the longest time until a simple 6 words appeared. 

 “CAN’T AVOID ME FOREVER! LOVE, 606” 

As his mind began processing the words on the screen, Vanderwood entered the room. For a moment, Saeyoung was worried he’d yell at him for the state of his computer, but his partner only looked at him with a knowing grin. 

“MC said that you can either spend two hours unlocking your computer or come into the living room to talk with her for ten minutes.” He stated, trying not to look as amused as he really was. 

 With a sigh, he looked away from Vanderwood, "There really is no way around this, is there?” His friend didn’t reply, only shook his head. Saeyoung stood up, sticking his hands into the pockets of his hoodie and walked out of his room.

There she was. 

Just a few feet away. 

His heart broke just seeing her beautiful face and wanted nothing more than to go to her and apologize for all that he’s done. But he didn’t. Instead, Saeyoung walked passed her and sits across the room, as far as possible. Without a word. “You’ll release my computer?” He asked coldly, staring at the ground beneath her seat. 

MC nodded, before realizing he wasn’t looking at her. Chuckling lightly, she couldn’t help nodding again, “Yes, I will. You know me, I stick to my word. Other than the hour statement I told Vanderwood, it would’ve taken longer. But if you had chosen the hard route, you would’ve realized how much harder it really was after two hours went by and come out anyway.” 

Withholding the want to look at her, Saeyoung ran his hand through his hair. “How did you manage to get into so much of my software without my noticing?”

“When I left, I had wondered if you really didn’t know what you were doing, or if you were just pushing me away again.” She sighed, taking a moment before continuing, “So I hacked in far enough to see your code, and then set up a virus to the video input of your computer. Then I spoke to the CCTV and waited. 15 seconds. That was all it took until you opened it to see me speaking. And as long as that was up, my virus got through. I really didn’t think it would actually work, so it was really helpful you would only focus on me when the videos were up. I suppose I should thank you for that.” 

He could hear Vanderwood laughing from the kitchen, but decided to ignore it. “Why? Why interfere in my work?” 

His sharp tone cut into MC, but she only smiled at his harshness. “Because I wanted to see you, Sae.” 

She.. what? He had outcasted her, tore her down, and made her feel worthless. And she wanted to see him? Saeyoung was at a loss for words. It took a moment for him to speak again. 

“There’s no reason for you to see me again. I don’t have closure or anything for you. You’re better off-“ 

“That’s not what I want.” She interrupted. Taking the moment of silence between then, she stood up and approached Saeyoung, sitting next to him. 

He wouldn’t look at her. He couldn’t. One glance and he knew all of his walls would break. 

“Then what do you want?” 

She placed her hand on top of his, trying not to lose her composure as he moved his hand away from hers. “I want to be with you again.” 

Saeyoung couldn’t help the scoff that came out of his mouth. “I thought you made it pretty clear you didn’t. Isn’t that why you left?” 

While every word he spoke felt like a dagger in his heart, his face remains stoic. “I needed time. And I got that. This was never a permanent deal unless *you* make it one. 

“Then consider this our official breakup. Clean my computer and leave.” 

MC turned her head away from him for a moment, no doubt to wipe away her tears again. “I don’t believe it.” 

“Well, it’s true!” He shouted. “I don’t care about you, now leave me alone!” 

As she goes to refute his words, nothing but a small whimper came out. She placed her hand on his once again, not allowing it to get out of her grasp. With tears in her eyes and a reforged determination, she stared at the man she loves. “Then look me in the eyes and tell me that. Tell me you don’t feel an ounce of feelings for me, and I’ll leave.” 

The quivering of her voice ripped through him in ways that bullets never could. But if he didn’t do it, she would be dragged down with him. Gripping his hoodie tightly, he lifted his eyes to reach hers. To tell her one last time to leave him and go live the life she was meant to live. 

But as he stared at her tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes, the words he wanted to say disappeared, and Saeyoung began to do the one thing he didn’t want to do- speak from the heart. 

“I never want you to cry, MC. Don’t you see that… That you’ll be hurt by staying with me, and you’ll cry. And I can't take seeing you like that. I can’t tell you I don’t care, but I will ask you to leave, one last time.” 

Unable to look anymore, he dropped his eyes, staring at their conjoined hands until something lightly touched his forehead. Feeling her lips on his skin sent shudders down his body as tears formed in his eyes. 

“I have cried more time since I left this house than I would have in a lifetime by your side. My love, nothing hurts worse than being apart from you.” She could only whisper, the sounds getting stuck in her throat. “Please, Sae, please let me back in.” 

 Saeyoung looked back up, into MC's red-rimmed eyes. How could he ever refuse her? With a simple nod of his head, Saeyoung reached for her, clutching her tightly in a breathtaking hug. And MC’s hold was just as strong. 

Maybe he was wrong. Could this time be the good route, the one where he can actually be happy? Saeyoung didn’t know, but with the feeling of MC in his arms, he doesn’t see how life could get any better. 

.  .  . 

After hearing the conversation, Vanderwood stood awkwardly in the kitchen, wondering when it’s would be okay for him to come back out.

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[inthedusksynria]

until-lune respondeu seu post “@until-lune I’m 99% convinced that Micaiah will be...”A couple of things that I want to say. • If we...

@until-lune

Hello! Again i am using this one form of reply bc its easier for format! If you prefer i change for reply format it let me know!. Putting under read more bc this got long, but i had lots of fun doing it!. I am answering all your replies here!

M!Corrin-wise -  I dont think Omega Yato will be his weapon, because the refined version of his OG version (normal M!Corrin in the red pool) already has it. While his art has his normal weapon, his sprite has Omega Yato.

Dawn Yato is definitely a possibility tho! although it would be very odd to give it to him and not make its Twin/Mirror Weapon Dusk Yato to CQ!themed!L!F!Corrin.(but hey its IS)

(something i am so salty off bc i love Dawn and Dusk Yatos ;-; they are so pretty and match so well their promotions... and games... heck!! they both have their route-represent Legendary weapons features incorpored on them and just *clenches fist at the emotional moments*)

Also, A re-colored dragon alt is also a possibility, since L!F!Corn did that.

I dont think skipping the Staff is a certainty because IS has made weird choices before. Leif has an Bow which is a weird choice for him, but, like Corrin, he has a A Rank in bows in his promoted class, and like Corrin he is an “unpopular” Lord. Chrom and Lucina have Bows, when they also had Lances as options by promotion class.

I dont think popularity certainly incentivizes diversity in weapon usage. because we have had a lot of Weird choices from IS of making a popular character have the same weapon across multiple alts. -> 3H lords, Ike, Eirika and Ephraim had all a repeat of their OG weapons and are far more or just as popular as Micaiah; and even weirder L!F!Corrin, who by CYL and Nintendo magazine poll is more popular then M!Corrin,  has the same weapon type than her fallen version (and still lacks a red alt for her emblem AND had an iconic red weapon associated with her promotion of DarkBlood/Nohr Noble (Dusk Yato)). Also fun fact, F!Corrin counterpart to M!Corrin Staff Rank is a Tome Rank. So it would also be possible for her to have had an red tome alt.

conclusion regarding weapons: IS pretty much spins a Wheel and decides what to do. I think its pretty much a case of...whatever the executives woke up on that day wanting.

(that, of course, doesnt make theorizing what weapon they will have  any less fun xD)

Honestly the only reason why I am certain it is Micaiah is irrational/a F2P technique. In  that if it is not her, it will destroy my will to summon and thus allow me to spend less XD. I have seen people doing it and boy does it works wonders when you arent right.

Going by that (my theory it is Micaiah) I find it unlikely to be Colorless (and thus Staff or colorless tome) only because the other spreads are just That Good^tm.

One of the methods that people used to guess which color the new Leg/Mythic will be is to see which color has a busted spread of colors. And it has been right ever since Edelgard

(The reason for so is that IS seems to have realized that by debutting the hero on a so-so spread, it made people wait for their rerun in order to get them, Bramimond being an example in that his spread was awful (L!Grima) and his rerun spread was godsmacking good (Mila)... pun not intended)

The colorless this time is rather...i wouldnt say weak, because Eir usability is REALLy good and Duma has a nice niche of wrecking people plans(cackles in my AR matches). However, they are fairly outdated in comparation with the other color spreads. So, in the event this leg hero is Micaiah (or Elincia, or Byleth) i dont think they would be colorless because of that.

Oh! Regarding the CYL theory, since the legendaries were introduced in the second year of FEH, I dont consider much broken, since i merely think its always /A/ winner instead of the 1st of each year. Since shuffling of legendaries is possible, (those times when IS changed the calendar lineup), should the Byleths win CYL(which is fairly likely). it would be easy to put them on the next GW. And I also think it will be a theory that will be broken absolutely next year, since I doubt Marianne and Gatekeeper would be viable L!Heroes. I agree with you that is a weak pattern that is likely to be broken.

Counterpoint to Wind F!Byleth ->  Blessings not always end up being the element that is most associated with the Character in the main game. Highly Water themed (and midly Fire themed;) Corrin ended up as Wind; Julia, who has Minor blood of fire and was called “Genealogy’s Fire Emblem sword” was Earth; Eliwood, wielding the fire themed Durandal, was Wind. (tbf this is also a counterpoint to Wind Micaiah, since she has more association with Light and maybe Fire(?) than Wind)

Regarding 3H launching with 3H, besides Edelgard, Claude also debuted with no 3H legendary accompanying him. Annete was there, but other than that, no other 3H unit or legendary was on the banner. In fact, the pattern i do see with 3H legendaries is that their first re-run matches with a release of a Mythic in their color spread. (Edelgard -> Hel ; Dimitri -> Seiros).

I want to highlight that i am not saying it wont happen, but that I lean more towards they keeping a space between 3H legendaries release, in order to long term profits, and to not cause burn-out of 3H content. (or at least decrease people complaining about it; They seem to have learned their lesson with the Fates and Tellius spams.)

Finally,I do think that it is possible for Micaiah to be a Staff and for other characters to be released in this month/banner, mostly it is the premises i chose to apply to this theorizing lead me in a contrary direction xD. You show some good points! (I would love a Dawn Yato Corn and a Staff Micaiah ;-;...)

Extra Tangent: I have absolutely no idea what IS(executives) considers the character is associated with Silver Snow like...

For one side, Seteth makes lip service saying the route lord is Rhea; Rhea presents the choice mirror to Edelgard’s in the route split; the ending cutscene focuses on Rhea character development/closure, but, at the same time, she is Sir Not Appearing for 75% of the route and the rest of the time she is benched.

For another side, Byleth was made to be the lord to Edelgard emperor’s and her rival; has several cutscenes showcasing that; is the “lord” of the route in role sense, but, on the other hand, its more associated with Fire (fire emblem).

Honestly at this point i just dont know what FEH is going to do with them. I think IS is going to make one of Byleth Wind as you said and the other Fire, but which one, i have no idea. I could see too an argument for Ground(since i think at the lack of an Light element for Light element character-focused they pick ground sometimes) too, but yeah. 

I cant believe the true plot twist of GW is gonna be Rhea being the wind legendary breaking all of our theories xD (/j, but can you imagine how funny it would be?)