#and thats before we get to the online aspect of it

[pigeons-with-jello]

one day after my friends peacefully grew distant from me theyll forget to think about me. theyll forget to keep those memories close to their heart. theyll forget to keep those mementos in a safe place and theyll forget to keep those pictures of us hanging on the wall. one day theyll forget my name or the details of my face, theyll forget how i dressed and how i smiled and how i talked to them. one day ill forget all those things about them as well. one day well see each other and neither of us will remember that we forgot each other.

[honeytonedhottie]

beauty and brains⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀☕️

in this post we'll talk about how to implement continual learning into ur life and how to nurture ur intellect and ur beauty, like elle woods for example…💬🎀

MINDSET ;

first off lets take a look at ur mindset. you need to be willing to learn and if ur stubborn then ur not gonna allow urself to learn and become smarter so for that reason mindset is the perfect place to start when ur starting ur beauty and brains journey.

perspective is EVERYTHING when it comes to learning. if u have the belief that "i hate math so much, im so not good at it etc etc" you're already setting urself up for failure. remember that we are in charge of our own learning.

figure out the sources of ur limiting beliefs about urself and challenge them. ask urself "why do i think im bad at math (or any other subject)" and the answers that u give urself, CHALLENGE them.

UNDERSTAND THAT ;

before we go any further understand that no subject is too complicated to learn and if ur experiencing that then ur learning it the wrong way…💬🎀

if ur having a hard time understanding a subject in school because of the way ur teacher explains it, ask another teacher at ur school and if that doesn't work turn to online resources OR just ask chat gpt. i ask chat gpt to help me break down math problems and explain how to do them and it works rly good for me.

READING ;

from my own experience i feel like reading is so so important. bcuz reading helps u to expand ur vocabulary and improves comprehension and so much more. personally i love to read so this isnt hard for me to do but if u originally dont like to read here are some ways to romanticize reading.

♡ start with topics/genres that u love

♡ set small goals (like reading for 5-10 minutes a day) and then building upon those goals

♡ experiment with physical books, e-books etc to figure out what u like best

WHAT U WATCH ;

i watch a lot of discussion based youtube videos, and video essays, documentaries etc and i have learned so much from them and they're actually one of my favorite ways to learn things. so i highly recommend watching some. watching things like this is so important because they provide a deeper understanding of real-world issues, cultures, and events that we might not encounter in our daily lives.

HOW TO UNDERSTAND ;

understanding what u read and what u learn is so so important. the way i make sure that i understand what im learning is through writing papers. writing papers about things that interest me or things that i learn has helped me to retain what i learn instead of forgetting it all.

another key thing to remember is PRACTICE. if u dont practice what u learn you'll literally forget it. use everything that u learn and if u can't physically use it, imagine urself using it.

MAKE IT A GAME ;

this is where the beauty aspect of the phrase "beauty and brains" comes into play. make learning like a GAME. i think thats how u get smart the best. just implement it into ur daily life.

for example if u have a habit of watching an episode of ur favorite show a day (or multiple) between episodes read for x amount of time. if u go for a run everyday listen to an audio book whilst running. think of that scene in the movie legally blonde where elle was reading her textbook while working out.

[ngage2003]

There is a joke that always stuck with me from the blu-rays/cast commentary, that being that Jay is a nepo baby and that is how he kept affording motels and gas and food for years, even with no job and a growing obsession. Like a dog to a chewed on and wilting sock, this is an idea I have latched onto and grown unreasonably obsessed with, which I personally believe kind of explains aspects of Jay's character.

⟦content warning: serious headcanon territory, but also still a lot of character analysis bc im coocoo⟧

At the start of the series and even into season 2 of Marble Hornets, I think it could definitely be argued that Jay is a passive character before his continued exposure to the Operator.

Now, that isn't to say he is meek (quiet, gentle, and easily imposed on) but he is very guarded, very willing to fade into the background or just go along with other people. I honestly think that is part of why Alex chose him as script supervisor. Because Alex can be fun but he is bossy and has a very specific vision and likes getting his way. (A trait thats honestly pretty normal, especially in artistic types.)

It is important not to conflate Jay's willingness to avoid conflict with submissiveness, gentleness or a lack of care though. Jay still has his own ideas, and when left to his own devices, a deadly curiosity. (That is why Marble Hornets as an online series started.) He still gets angry too, like when Alex is leading him around in circles because he refuses to/can't kill Jay, but also refuses to tell him what is going on. Jay is forced into action after dealing with this behavior for months, but even before then we see him getting more and more frustrated behind the scenes. (Entry 39 is the first example that comes to my mind.)

It also is important to not misconstrue his selfishness, as many people in this fandom do. Jay Merrick is a bit of a dick. (That is why he gets along with Alex.) He lies to Tim very poorly the first time they meet to get information out of him rather than try to directly ask, he didn't help Masky to the hospital after his leg was broken—yes, he thought what Alex did was wrong but ultimately stayed with him and kept following him for answers. Even with Jessica, part of the reason he cares so much is because he feels guilty/responsible and he is, he pulled her into this out of his damn curiosity!

Statement: I believe Jay holds extreme guilt over Jessica being brought into this and what happened to her. Evidence: in Entry 77, when Tim is saying, "there is two possibilities for what happened to jessica," Jay out of the blue says, "It wouldn’t be my fault!" at about 2:43. Tim never implied it was and the only reason I can see Jay to unprompted say this is because he believes it was.

Jay Merrick is someone defined by curiosity and selfish, but while habitually passive. He lies to hide what he wants and what he is doing, sometimes for an understandable reason but also sometimes out of just, once again, habit.

The question easily comes, why is he like that?

Well! Stick with me here—I think is because Jay Merrick IS a nepo baby. Specifically, I think he grew up in a household where his parents were neglectful, and when he was visiblly upset, that was repaid with harsh rejection and then money or expensive apologies rather than concrete change. It was a situation where, while his needs weren't being met, getting angry at it also feels bad because of how we as a society (and his parents specifically too) worship money.

I think his curiosity partially comes from this neglect too, as growing up his parents brushing off questions and lacking support always left him wanting more but without a way to voice it, leaving him with this lifelong unease and need for answers. His parents kind of forgot what it was like to be a kid and how you literally don't know anything, and would often brush off certain things because of this. Additionally, growing up this way also left him a bit selfish, as coming from a place of wealth, being neglected, and being somewhat isolated growing up as a "weird"/visibly autistic kid, that all left him struggling to connect to people and with his own empathy, as we see in canon. This doesn't make him a bad person inherently or anything, but is just a part of who he is. Aside from the obvious case of Jay dragging Jessica into this, I think an example of this is how in Entry 66, when Tim is laying out all his trauma, there is an interaction that goes like this:

Tim: One of the problems I was having was hallucinations. I had a lot of them. [...] [W]henever they would find me [after i escaped from my room,] I would say that I was hiding from whatever it was I was seeing so they’d bring me back and they didn’t have much of a choice except to lock me in here. That’s when it was at its worse. I’d be clawing at the walls and screaming at all hours of the night, they had to up my dosage just to calm me down, to the point that I was almost numb. Jay: But these hallucinations, what did they look like?

You could say his disregard is due to shock, but in my opinion that'd be a bit too forgiving. Sure, Tim is talking about his awful childhood and he is being pretty vivid but, Jay already knew about it to some extent due to his records, and while generally he is closed off and hard to read, he seems more uneasy with Tim's yelling than shocked. Jay's default is just curiosity and wanting answers, that is just kind of a pattern with him, even/especially at the expense of others.

I think he is so passive also because of his home life. Specifically, that was what made living at home easiest, with parents who like having you as a trophy but don't actually care about you. Keeping your head down is how you survive, and he kind of just accepted that "ok this is how the world works." Everyone wants something from you (a compliment, a second opinion that is more vapid support than substance, praise,) and giving it to them makes it easier. I think Alex wheedled him sometimes to try to get him out of that shell, but to some extent also he liked it, liked having someone who agrees with him, and in turn Jay admired his outspoken nature, blatant hatred of his parents, and tolerance for Jay's "weirdness". (Hyperfixations.) They weren't necessarily super duper healthy, but they were two traumatized kids clinging to each other, and sometimes that's just how the cookie crumbles, especially when you're isolated.

I also think, due to being a late 80s-90s kid, Jay did grow up with the internet and probably to some extent was unmonitored, which definitely influenced and impacted him but also did inspire his love of technology. (Specifically film/cameras.) I think it also to some extent fed into his worse habits by accident though, just the unfortunately common attitudes highlighted by the internet, but also was the original way he sated his curiosity. I think his propensity to tell "white lies," could have easily come from this exposure too.

I have a lot of specific instances tie to Jay's childhood that in my brain define why he is Like That, but this is just an overview of my main thoughts and I hope it makes sense.

[pookietv]

online embarrassment | arthurtv

this was a req!! and i think its adorable

there will be a part two to this !!!

being a simple university student, you had simple pleasures - getting drunk on the weekend, binge watching tv shows, and a more strange one, online chess. you liked watching people play, you liked playing yourself, you loved the strategy aspect. on some websites you played on, there was the option of livestreaming your chess game - no faces or voices, but people could chat alongside you playing, and you enjoyed seeing input on your games.

one day you were playing a particularly tricky game, being forked from practically the get go, and being the victim of many pawn trades, you were definitely on a losing streak, even if you were just playing against a bot. it was being streamed, but there were only four people watching, not that embarrassing right? especially because it was hidden behind a chess username and no one knew who you were anyways, so it didn't really matter.

so when a comment came in,

ATV: i wouldn't have played rook to f4 there, leaves an opening for a three move check :)

your head tilted a little, turning back to the game and furrowing your eyebrows, trying to figure what they had meant - and they were right, the move was a little careless and it could lead to checkmate.

you nodded to yourself, trying to amend the damage by playing your bishop defensively, to which another comment came in.

ATV: sorry for backseat gaming here, but you could have check in two

you smiled a little more at the comment, placing one hand on your chin and the other on your mouse, following some moves for what must have been fourty-five seconds before you clicked, they were right again. you made the move, the bot making its response, defending also, before in a few short moves, the game was over, you had won by check.

youruser: @/ATV thank you! i still kinda suck after playing for so long lmao

ATV: @/youruser do you want a game? :)

youruser: @/ATV sure! i'll add you now :P

so you added them, and they requested a game. in the chatbox on the side, you saw another message just as they had moved their first piece.

ATV: so what's your name?

youruser: i'm y/n, what about you?

ATV: arthur :)

he moved with an unusual polish opening, so you played traditional and tried to take control of the centre. within a few minutes, he had one of your pawns pinned, and had taken another.

youruser: damn you're actually really good

youruser: feeling a little defeated here :)

ATV: i'm just a loser with far too much time on my hands

youruser: well i mean me too but still, you're smoking me

ATV: cause you're playing too much attack not enough defence

youruser: i feel i may need you to tutor me lmao

ATV: lets finish up this game rq and then i'll help lol

unsurprisingly, he won, but you actually came closer than expecting, and it was a pretty even match after the poor beginning.

ATV: you're actually pretty good, you were just being modest

youruser: hm well maybe

youruser: suppose i'll have to keep challenging you til i win >:D

ATV: do you have discord or anything? easier to explain and talk on there rather than chess in game chat lol

youruser: i do! i'll link it rq :)

youruser: it's yourdiscuser #1782

and from there, you began talking semi-regularly, you played chess often and spoke tactics and games, he helped teach you and you enjoyed the company.

youruser: isn't it really strange we know nothing about each other other then chess defence strategies

youruser: i mean what if you're the insane chess killer man

ATV: yes, thats exactly who i am, the Insane Chess Killer Man, can't believe you caught me red handed

ATV: i mean what do you wanna know

youruser: i mean, idk,,, where are you from? i mean i know you speak english but you could be from anywhere i guess :O

ATV: i live in england, what about you :)

youruser: me too! i'm in london atm for uni, getting my masters

ATV: i am also in london! so if you're getting your masters, you're like ... somewhere around 24?

youruser: yeah, i'm 23 :P

youruser: what about you? i mean i have a feeling you're not some sixty year old man based on the fact you use discord but idk

ATV: i'm 28,,, getting very old :(

youruser: wow, very old indeed, must be such a shame

youruser: its gonna suck when i'm gonna have to visit you in a nursing home to play chess with you in two years time

ATV: okay i'm not that old you divvy :)

youruser: kidding, kidding ! anyway, i have to go because i have class but,, if you maybe wanna add me on instagram, its @/youruser :)

getting back from your lectures and practically throwing your backpack on the floor and collapsing on your bed, you planned on rotting the rest of the day away in pajamas and consuming far too much social media.

you opened instagram to a new follower: @/arthurtv

you assumed it was arthur from chess, and obviously in curiosity you opened his page straight away, you were nosy and you wanted to know who he was.

the first thing that shocked you was what he looked like: you didn't know what you were expecting but you didn't think it was going to be him.

he was... attractive, you had to admit, and your eyes had widened once you had seen him.

the second thing that shocked you was his followers, and his bio - he was a youtuber?

classically, you had to be nosy and follow the links to his youtube, your eyebrows raised a little as you looked at his channel, giggling to yourself, he did commentary on reality tv? you hadn't seen that before, but once you watched a video, you realised he was funny, too. he made it funny, despite the fact that you had at first felt it was the strangest youtube topic ever.

youruser: why hello arthurtv

youruser: i was definitely not expecting you

arthurtv: why hello y/n

arthurtv: i could say the same about you

youruser: well i mean i don't have any surprises

youruser: but you are apparently known for commenting on 90 day fiance?

arthurtv: i'd argue you have some surprises

arthurtv: and yes, i make commentary videos! wasn't trying to hide it or anything, just was a weird thing to bring up in conversation :)

youruser: no, it seems cool! i wasn't judging :) i don't watch much youtube so i don't know too much about it

youruser: and anyways, what surprises do i have?

arthurtv: i wasn't expecting you to look like that i suppose

youruser: like what ??

arthurtv: i mean, i don't know, pretty i suppose

arthurtv: you're very pretty, i just didn't know what i was expecting to be honest

youruser: wow you thought i couldn't be pretty cause i'm a loser playing chess??? smh arthur

youruser: (i'm kidding, i didn't expect you to look like you either)

arthurtv: you know that's not what i meant!!

arthurtv: what did you expect me to look like then?

youruser: well since you're 28, i suppose i was expecting a zimmerframe or walking stick or something

arthurtv: ha ha very funny

[kings-highway]

i get the feeling the minecraft just wouldn’t be one of the games kenma would play/be interested in. it’s so much of an open world, aimless, and strategy-less game (not that there isn’t strategy involved, but not like a regular play-through or pvp game like mortal kombat or smth) that i think he just would not enjoy it very much. i could see him being a speedrunner or only someone who joins to help fight stuff but that’s ab it

okay I'll bite. I think you're absolutely right. I think Kenma is highly driven by the reward system of video games, skill trees and leveling up and quests and definable ways to prove you are winning and minecraft would probably bore him. And he probably wouldnt think much about it. Not all games are for him, and thats fine.

However, you know who would fucking love minecraft? Kuroo. Kuroo wouldnt even bother searching up guides or explanations. the sheer level of discovery and crafting and options available to him would keep him occupied for ages. Everything would be exciting for him. And then he gets to fight a fucking dragon at the end? Perfect

Anyway, I believe when Kuroo sends a text to Kenma that says "haha just beat minecraft!" Kenma would be so pissed. First off - he didnt know you could "beat" minecraft. Second - KUROO BEAT A VIDEO GAME BEFORE HE DID? What horrible alternate reality is this? And then Kenma would FEVERISHLY have to work through minecraft to beat it to prove that he could too. He'd blitz it in like a day and text Kuroo like "And??? So did I." but then Kuroo would be like "haha my favourite part is the redstone coding. It works pretty well, I made a ton of automated minecarts and built like a whole rollercoaster" and Kenma would be like "what the hell are you talking about?" because he only did what was 100% necessary and didnt play around.

Anyway I also fully believe that Daichi would absolutely love minecraft and he'd just fully commit to the survival aspect and have a big old farm and worry about making sure his cows have enough space and 100% I can imagine him and Kuroo logging on together with their stupid little headsets at like 11pm and then when Kuroo dies in the mines via surprise creeper Daichi's cackling laughter over the other ends says "this is why we beat you at nationals" and Kuroo considers learning how to punch people through the screen.

They invite Kenma online to play with them since Kenma officially knows how to play now and doesnt like being left out the ONE time Kuroo actually wants to play a video game instead of volleyball and he just keeps dying and now he has two idiots laughing at him.

[greml1nb0i]

Hi there! I just stumbled upon your cozy blog thanks to a post mentioning that Viv will be working on a new series. ^^"

If it's true, then I'm worried just how she might do a terrible job especially since writing doesn't seem to be her specialty (like she's giving me Mindy Kaling vibes). She even announced planning to work on several more seasons of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. Shouldn't she at least finish both shows before even moving to other projects? 🤔

I also think in my opinion that she'd work best as a t-shirt graphic artist for Hot Topic 'coz most of her projects felt like a random showcase of her OCs from high school. They're also overly designed and her humor is rather too juvenile than hilarious.

Sorry for the ramble, I just like to share my thoughts out there.

Dont worry about rambling Anon, ive done my fair share and thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

I agree on so many aspects of what you said.

Viv shouldnt be making anything new without finishing the already tanking series' she has. Hazbin is only going to get worse [as seen from the leaks] and Helluva is losing the most diehard of fans, attention. she's sinking her career quicker and quicker. She can't write, and even admits that herself several times. She steals from smaller artists, refuses to credit her artists and employees, is constantly into controversy after controversy, She cant grow up.

Its funny how you mention she gives a Mindy Vibe and i TOTALLY see it. Mindy went on a tirade about how people were shitting on Velma and Viv does the exact same thing, istg those 2 must be sharing a braincell.

Also yes the Hot Topic thing, i have my own 2 cents to put in there.

i swear this has a point to it just stick with me here. If it doesnt make sense to you im sorry, im not the greatest at explaining things.

I grew up in the early 2000s and 2010s, so Hot Topic and Spencer's were major hot spots for me, and lemme tell you. In those times, HT and Spencer's wouldve laughed at Viv for wanting to sell her cheap ass merch there. In fact, most merch sold there now, wouldnt have been, but ever since the big boom of indie creations; these stores ended up with different purposes.

HT never used to be a online merch store for indie creators, it used to be an actual punk store for punk and alt teens. Same with Spencer's but it was more for adults. You couldnt find things that werent punk or alt in regular stores thats why you'd go to HT or Spencer's.

Thats where youd get your AOT merch, Black Butler, Supernatural, Addams family, Jack Skellington, Band shirts like Korn, MCR, BVB, and Splitknot were sold there.

But now, its HH and HB merch. Fnaf, [im a fnaf fan before anyone comes for for that] and sparkle bs.

You cant find the punk merch you want, cuz its being switched out for Vivs bullshit and being buried in the back storages until they start having major sales to just get rid of it.

Now Spencer's' is being turned into the New HT, and HT is being turned into the kiddie emo version of Claires. its so fucking sad to watch.

My point to all this is.

Viv didnt need to sell her merch in HT.

HT doesnt need to be selling her merch to kids.

Viv shows are not made for kids, but yet she sells her merch at a teen based punk store.

HT doesnt need to be pandering to every indie creator that calls them to collab or sell their shitty 40$ t-shirts.

Viv doesnt need more money.

HT and Spencer's need to get their shit together before they go fucking bankrupt and we lose the only 2 punk-alt stores to exist physically.

Last i checked, BlackCraft Cult doesnt have an in person store.

[butchpeace]

Hi miss butchpeace! Id like to ask for some advice, if thats okay. So Im dating this girl. We have been friends forever, shes has been my best friend for years and after a few months of heavy romantic tension we have decided to start dating a few weeks ago. Everything is great, shes everything i love in a person and she makes me feel great too and understands me more than anyone.

The problem is that we live in a really gendie positive place, and having radfem or even radfem adjacent views is basically like commiting social suicide. And so, i have been concealing my opinions on the gender ideology for the sake of my peace and because we have some trans men on our life. Recently, my gf came out to me as nonbinary. Now i KNOW this is because she has an story of body dysmorphia and self hating. Shes also kinda androgynous and loves the style of many nonbinary people online. She said she doesnt feel like a woman because shes more aligned to that part of the gender spectrum, and that also eventually she would like to take testosterone and get a mastectomy.

I really really dont know what to do. I do love her a lot and i hurt seeing her hating her body so thoroughly to the point of wanting to do this. Every time ive tried to debate even the slightest aspect of the gender ideology ive been kinda shut down and, because im afraid she would hate me forever if she knew i think like this, everytime i just shut up and swallow whatever i want to say. It has never been that big of a problem, since the topic hardly ever came up, but now i dont know what to do with this situation and i feel so alone.

Is there some way i could approach this topic gently and in a way that wouldnt scare her? I really dont want to hurt her or lose her but i feel like i should start to be honest and stop hiding. I just want her to accept herself as she is but i feel like having this conversation with her will destroy our relationship.

That’s a really difficult situation and I feel for you! I’m sure there are other women who have been here and can chime in with their personal experiences.

I hope that since you have been friends for such a long time, that she’ll understand your viewpoint and not end the relationship over this, but sadly that could be how it turns out. Especially for young people who are caught up in all this, you’ve been taught about trans identities since you were pretty young, and I think that makes it hard for people to question it.

My advice is to try talking to her about her dysphoria, what that feels like for her and maybe get into what the cause is. Maybe talk to her about the fact that lots of masculine lesbians in older generations have struggled with dysphoria, but that they overcame it and didn’t end up transitioning. Tell her that you’ve seen older women talk about that online and that it might help her to talk to older butch women about their experiences before making these choices.

If you can find a way to connect to your local community, especially if you can find older lesbian women who aren’t as involved in the trans stuff, that could also be a big deal. Going to pride or any intergenerational meet up in your area, things like that. A huge part of what went into my transition was that I didn’t have that. I didn’t see older women who were like me and who I could see as role models.

If you can’t do that in person, try to find media that features gnc women. Whether that’s in movies or tv, books comedians, or athletes, just getting more immersed in women centered media and lesbian culture can help a lot.

I think a big thing will be talking to her about testosterone. The negative effects of it, and the fact that usually the physical changes that women want the most from it - body fat and muscle redistribution - only stay that way if you continue to take T at a high dose. It causes bad acne in a lot of women, it doesn’t really change your voice to what a normal man sounds like (it mainly just damages your vocal chords and gives you a gravelly sound), it can cause lasting reproductive issues like painful or irregular periods, hair loss can start early, and that’s all just within a short time period or on a low dose.

Basically just talking to her about the reality of what being on T means, and that it’s not going to be the fantasy that she made in her head.

I think this is a good place to start, because instead of coming across as critical of trans identity as a whole, you’re talking to her about her feelings, showing that you hear her and care about those feelings. And you’re talking about her health and what these choices will actually do for her over the long run. Remember to let her talk, and to lead the conversation without sounding like you’re judging her.

Generally, masculine women want T because they have a vague idea that it’s going to make them “more masculine”, but there’s a real lack of understanding of what that’s really going to mean in a material sense, and what it’s really going to mean in terms of how people perceive them. Mastectomy is the same way. It really changes the way that people see you and think about you. Your girlfriend will always be seen as “trans” if she does T and gets a mastectomy. That’s just how it is. And it’s important for her to understand the impact that will have on her future.

There’s no such thing as a “non-binary transition”. She’ll be seen as a medically altered female and assumed to be a trans man.

Good luck and I’m sorry you’re both going through this 🫂 I hope you come out the other side happier and with a stronger relationship than before 🌈

[curryswirl]

ive seen a lot of responses to this post that are clarifying what they think "make art for yourself" is intended to mean-- that its not really referring to making it for no one to view but rather its referring to what you make and why. and i just wanted to do a little follow up and say that you guys are definetly correct in a lot of instances~ in those instances, i in fact agree, also. i do think determining what you want to make via what you think people will like ONLY is probably an unhealthy way to create (although it can certainly be a component of your decision making), just as i think doing it for ONLY likes and numerical engagement is not the way to be either!

i was specifically responding to cases where i have seen people problematize the desire to have ones art seen at all, though-- something i have come across frequently, too. i wouldnt be suprised if this was an extreme evolution of the former, as that tends to be the case for heavily parroted rhetoric online.

it was an angry post and i stand by it, but i do apologize if it made anyone feel like they are "doing it wrong" or whatever. in truth, i think my motivation for making the post stems from, at its root, the sadness i feel when people blame other people for the tendecies that have been incentivized wrt engagement online... and i would never want to make anyone feel that exact way.

like, some people also identified the problem as due to "people not caring enough to reblog" or some other cultural shift due to individual shortcomings. i dont think thats completely and utterly untrue in all cases, but in my opinion much of this behavior is due to the platforms we engage on, and the behavior they incentivize, not some modern widespread negligence of artists by individual people.

websites are set up the way they are because long form, complex engagement does not make as much ad revenue. over a long period of time, users have been conditioned to scroll quickly and see more ads because thats what the UI encourages... and those who post are conditioned to desire a climbing number of likes/notes/whatever, because shorter and shorter dopamine hits have diminishing value.

there is intention behind every website beginning to look the same. there is intention behind every aspect of a user interfaces design. and it is my belief that this has caused it to be less rewarding to take time to leave a comment or to stay on one post for a long period of time.

if you combine that with the general, worsening life experience of the working class-- with the emotional fatigue, the intellectual drain... the amount of ignoring you have to do, the amount of swallowing of horrible, seemingly unchangeable horrors day in and day out just to bare living on this earth, you get an emotionally exhausted populace that does not have the time or energy to truly invest in engaging with art.

this is not your fault. this is not your peers fault. if youre not a billionaire, a capitalist of influence or in a position of power or authority, its probabaly not your fault either.

i guess what im trying to say is please continue to strive to punch up, and to always question the systems that incentivize our behavior before you turn to punching sideways and criticizing the people who are living in the same world as you. empathy is everything, and its all we have.

[running-tweezers]

You know, I never really talk about the specifics as to why I’m so cautious about fandom and what I get involved in on here. And also as a result why I’m often really scared to interact with people. But I was recently talking about my experience with a friend and doing a lot of unpacking with myself. And as tough as it is, I think I want to share, in case it might help someone.

CW: threats of death and sexual assault, unwanted romantic/sexual advances, suicide, toxic relationships

I will try to make this as concise as possible but no promises lol

It was around 2014. I was about 19/20. I had recently started being more active in a fandom that will remain unnamed. This fandom was by far the biggest one I’ve ever been a part of, but not a big super fandom, like Superwholock or Marvel or whatever was big at the time. And this piece of media was everything to me. I kept up with new content religiously. I went to conventions. I cosplayed. I have beloved memories with irl friends attached to it. It brought me such genuine joy, and there’s a part of me that’s sad it’s been so poisoned for me that I can’t look at anything related to it anymore.

I was just starting to dip my toe into the online fandom aspect of things, and I was looking for people to follow. I saw someone make a post about my favorite character, and I agreed with the take so hard, it was as if I wrote it myself. So I followed instantly. Not long after, that blog followed me back, and sent me a DM. We’re gonna call him G.

G introduced himself and asked me if I followed him because I read his fanfic. I didn’t even know he wrote fanfic. Turns out G was a WAY bigger deal in the online fandom than I realized. He had written what was, at the time, the longest running piece of fanfiction for this fandom. He was what some might consider a “Big Name Fan”. I was so shocked that someone that big wanted to follow me, a tiny blog who was better known for posting about musical theater before getting into this fandom.

We talked about my favorite character for a while, and then started talking in the DMs more regularly after that. I was so excited that I was making a friend within this fandom. And someone so well known! It was crazy! I did read his fanfic, it definitely wasn’t for me, not my cup of tea, but that was fine! I didn’t need to tell him that, that would be rude! So I lied, and told him I loved it. I also told him I loved one of his favorite ships, even though I was pretty eh on it, didn’t care one way or the other. But I couldn’t hurt his feelings! This was a new friend!

That was mistake number one, but also maybe what ended up saving me.

After a while, our conversations turned a little more personal, talking about our lives outside of fandom. That’s when things started getting weird. G seemed like he maybe wanted something more than friendship. I was pretty clear that I was in a serious relationship at the time and not available (which was true, that relationship is now my wonderful husband) and he would back off a bit. But soon he was back on it again, reblogging my selfies with strings of heart eye emojis, sending me ask game responses straight up telling me that he thought I was hot and he had a crush on me, basically pushing things as far as he could without crossing a line.

Never once did I consider unfollowing him, or blocking him though. Because after we became friends I started to see that G was not afraid of calling people out. He had enough sway that he could turn a large swath of people against someone if he talked shit in a post. And honestly, he was ruthless. If I turned him down outright, or stopped talking to him, that could be me he went after next. Thats when I became absolutely terrified of upsetting him. So I kept putting up with his advances, kept praising his fanfic I didn’t like, kept talking all about this ship he loved, kept listening to him talk shit about people who didn’t agree with his opinions, kept talking to him like we were buddies. But I was scared.

It wasn’t until much much later down the line that realized I was essentially in a controlling and abusive relationship with this guy. The fact that it was platonic and not romantic (at least on my end) clouded that for me in the moment. My life revolved around online fandom, the drama, the discourse, and making sure my opinions lined up with his so he wouldn’t get mad at me.

That’s how it went until shit eventually hit the fan. I was gone for a while and I couldn’t get online for a week or so. I remember worrying that he was gonna get mad that I wasn’t answering him. So when I got the chance to go online again I went to check. And G was gone. Account deactivated. I was so confused, so I went digging in the fandom tag.

Turns out G had been exposed for sending very detailed and personal death and rape threats to people who didn’t agree with him. People who didn’t ship his favorite ship. People who didn’t like his fanfic. He had been sending these threats the entire time I knew him.

I have never felt such retroactive fear in my entire life. I was one of the people who didn’t agree with him on everything. I didn’t ship his favorite ship. I didn’t like his fanfic. I just lied and said I did to placate him. If he was sending such detailed and personal death and rape threats to total strangers on the Internet, I cannot imagine what he might have done had he found out I also didn’t agree with him. Someone he thought was his friend. Someone he was obviously romantically and sexually attracted to.

And I realized that just because he deactivated his account, that didn’t mean he was gone. He could very easily make another account. He could find me again.

That filled me with such dread that I quit tumblr. I left this website and fandom entirely.

The next year was what I consider one of the worst of my entire life mentally. Not all of it was because of this, but I think this experience, plus a lot of things about fandom/tumblr culture in general at the time were definitely the one jenga block I pulled that knocked the whole tower down. I ended up trying to take my own life that year. Fortunately that didn’t happen and I got help that I desperately needed.

I debated coming back to tumblr for a long time. I was gone from online fandom for 8 years. And I missed it. It wasn’t all bad. I missed the joy it was capable of bringing me. So now that I’m nearly 30, I decided to come back so I could join the Redacted community, because it had become such an intense hyperfixation. I figured I had grown, and I knew how to set boundaries and control my time online now. And for the most part I have. There are for sure still times where I see things within this community that trigger old feelings, and sometimes I wonder if coming back was a mistake. But for the most part I’m really proud of myself for coming back and making the experience of being part of a fandom a positive one again.

If you feel like fandom is becoming a place that is hurting you, PLEASE. Set boundaries. Take control of your time online. Nothing and nobody in any fandom is more important than taking care of yourself and your mental health. It may seem so incredibly important but at the end of the day? It’s only tumblr. There is a great big world out there and this is a teeny tiny slice of it. Don’t let that tiny slice ruin everything else, ok? If I can help one single person by sharing this, it will have been worth it.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Im not saying they did this but it feels like fans are often put on spells like there is some type of mask thats put on us and we cant then see the flaws in nothing else cause i notice when you follow one group then another you still have that same airyness about you, like a thick fog. i see it with others too especially ones who do overprotect some random boys and gals they dont even know. they put so much aggression in the way they talk online it makes me wonder how do a group of random men who dont know u exist have this much power over their fans like they really try to force others to admit defeat in discussions and no one can dare question bts success rate or anythig else and its just mad. i thought being one direction fan was bad enough but this is next level delusion.

its like anything that shrouds army shrouds bts with the same ego driven nonsense that we would put on bts but why does it seem to keep happening and why does it feel like we are put on spells to talk in ways we dont talk, spend hours watching livestreams and youtube compilations trying to delude ourselves that the ships we saw were real 😂😂😂 either theyre excellent at manipulating young people or we are just gullible as fuck. I get it because ive been there but sometimes it feels like they have such a chokehold over people theyll never see the light of day. then you find another group you like and its the same cycle... kpops like a never ending pitfire honestly i think it will crash and burn eventually. theres just always so much aggressiveness in the way some hard core "stans" talk about these guys and gals that they dont even know. im almost certain idols must feel often embarassed by the intensity of their fan base or is it that what they are "set out" to achieve? so its purely natural for people to really cling to certain beliefs they have of some random asian dudes.

That is called glamour spells I believe and yes, that could be a thing. I feel like celebs do this or the entertainment industry as a whole, but it can also be the person's own delusion and this constant need to fill a void, so they latch on to any idol or group and associate their own worth to what the idol does.

This is why we feel some sort of pride when they get an award and get a number one, similar to football fans. I was in both situations and I realized how wild that is and that their accomplishments mean nothing to me at the end of the day. I need to think about what I accomplished, not look at theirs. I don't care if my group is the most popular anymore, or how many albums they sell. I am like good for them and move on.

Now, I will say both are able to build a nice community for people to gather and celebrate together, so I do like that aspect, it isn't all bad. I remember back in the day when I was on Twitter, before it became X, MOA's came together to get Crown to 100M, that was so fun seeing all of us stream together and join together to do that, I don't even feel it was about them, but as coming together as a community, it was a fun experience, but when it gets toxic, that is when people need to reevaluate what they are doing and this strong attachment they have to these idols.

[arowitharrows]

hello, i had some maybe broad-but-vague stuff i wanted to ask to someone who knows more about ace stuff since i've been seeing a surge of related content about that topic lately, and i wondered if you might be someone i could ask? i know it's alot, and please ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable. im not trying to be hateful or anything, i just feel sort of ignorant about it all. ace stuff, specifically. until now, i always ignored people saying they were ace before, because i didnt get it and i just figured that i didnt need to get it to just mind my own business, but it seems so much more prevalent online now than it used to be, id like to understand. i dont mean to be crude, but in my mind it's like- not fucking people is the baseline. thats just how people are. like, the template of a human isn't sexual. starting point of humanity or something like that, and everything else is just extra, though as i type that i actually can see that that might be too flawed and general of an outlook, but that's the best way i can think to phrase my thoughts. so to put focus on that baseline, as an entire identity, always seemed extraneous to me? im really not sure if theres more to it that im missing to put it in some different context. i did wonder if it was to do with just like, reacting to societal expectations that everyone, idk, be sexual? or just the assumption that everyone would (or should) end up like that at some point in their life? and that's pretty fucked up, but i always just thought that was really weird of the people expecting that sort of thing, not of the people they criticized, and that if it were just a reaction that it wouldn't be considered an identity. and the same really goes for the romance stuff, in my mind. it just seems like such a non-problem to me. and that sounds alot harsher than i mean it to be, but i dont get it. its just the regular way to be, and everything else is extra, so all of the controversy is for what? it always came off as making a big deal out of nothing to me. personally, i've never felt any sort of realistic romantic or sexual attraction to another person before in my life, but (other than here) i don't go around talking about that. if the people around me went around talking about how they DID feel that stuff, i would think they were oversharing rather inappropriately. so i don't get that the difference is. it just people searching for other people who feel how they feel using "ace" as a label, a way to do that? a community thing? then why rally around that minuscule aspect of a person's being? or maybe it doesn't feel minuscule? i dont want to come off as belittling, so if theres a better way to refer to all this, please let me know. sorry for the wall of text and like i said, feel free to ignore this. i'm not trying to be an asshole and its not on you to field this sort of question, but i just want to understand. thank you for your time!

Hey anon, It's great of you to reach out and try to learn, or unlearn, some things about asexuality and aromanticism. I'm going to try to break things down a bit (this is not in the order of what you wrote)

not fucking people is the baseline. thats just how people are. like, the template of a human isn't sexual. starting point of humanity or something like that, and everything else is just extra. [...] and the same really goes for the romance stuff, in my mind. [...] its just the regular way to be, and everything else is extra

I'm honestly not sure what you mean by this. I don't believe there is a baseline template for humanity, we are too complex for that. But even if there were a baseline I would set it to what the majority of humanity experiences and I think it's safe to say that a large majority of people experience sexual and romantic attraction to others (the number that usually gets thrown around is 1% of the human population is asexual, but I do not believe this number is still up to date.) If asexuality were the norm then the asexual community would not have this many struggles with medical doctors (here, read this great article that just came out for some context).

That being said - you can view humanity this way if you want, I'm not going to say it's wrong. Just be aware that most people do not see it this way, and that many reactions people have when first learning about asexuality and aromanticism shows how much they view it as something unnatural, abnormal and something to be fixed.

if the people around me went around talking about how they DID feel that stuff, i would think they were oversharing rather inappropriately.

Most people I know experience romantic and sexual attraction as a normal part of their life, and they talk about it a lot, which I don't necessarily consider to be oversharing. Relationships and crushes and heartbreak and sex are important topics for many people, to the point where I would claim that a considerable amount of time goes into writing songs and books and movies and other media about it. Most coming-of-age stories involve romance and sex as milestones, most "humanizing the monster" stories involve falling in love as a proof of humanity, most commercials use sex-appeal to make people buy shit. All of this is integrated into everyday life, so all of this can make aspec people feel alienated and othered, even before they find the aro/ace labels.

When I was a teenager people wouldn't stop talking about sex, it was a way to measure your worth, so I felt.. worth less than my peers. Now I'm an adult and the older I get the more being single and unmarried is seen as a personal failure.

All this is to say that in my experience sexual and romantic attraction are not quiet aspects of society. And, for the record, I don't talk about my orientation much with people outside of my close family, even when it makes things awfully awkward because my disinterests does not go unnoticed, and is very much seen as an oddity.

so to put focus on that baseline, as an entire identity, always seemed extraneous to me. [...] it just people searching for other people who feel how they feel using "ace" as a label, a way to do that? a community thing? then why rally around that minuscule aspect of a person's being?

Why do you think any identity label exists? They are there to help us understand ourselves, to help us explain ourselves to others and to help us find others with similar experiences so we can feel less isolated. We live in a heteronormative society where everyone is assumed to perform sex and romance in a very strict and narrowly defined manner. People that fall out of that norm tend to struggle on many different, complex levels. Asexual and aromantic people are not exempt from these struggles. For some being ace and aro does not have a large impact on their lives and that's fine, for others it does have a large impact - that's what the community is for, and that's what the labels are for. For me personally, being aroace impacts a lot of my life. It influences my politics, my living situation, how I approach friendships, my decisions for my future.. it is not something trivial.

i did wonder if it was to do with just like, reacting to societal expectations that everyone, idk, be sexual? or just the assumption that everyone would (or should) end up like that at some point in their life? and that's pretty fucked up, but i always just thought that was really weird of the people expecting that sort of thing, not of the people they criticized, and that if it were just a reaction that it wouldn't be considered an identity.

No, I do not believe that is the origin of the asexual and aromantic identity. It is certainly a source of aphobia and a much needed point of conversation, but asexuality and aromanticism would continue to exist in a society in which this were not a problem, the same way homosexuality will continue to exist when the world is no longer homophobic, and heterosexuality exists right now in a world that is not "heterophobic". I also want to gently add here that the belief that asexuality is a "reactionary" identity due to an oversexualized society is one I've almost exclusively seen in radical feminism circles, just something to keep in mind when following such train of thought.

Everyone is free to decide the degree to which experiencing little to no sexual/romantic attraction impacts their life and if they want to view it as something important or not. But to generalize and say that it doesn't matter on a societal scale rings false. I highly recommend just listening to more aromantic and asexual people's experiences in society to get a feeling of how it impacts our lives.

[dykefengqing]

ive never really gotten involved with cosplay discourse bc most of it is stupid but apparently sone people have been talking abt bought cosplays vs homemade cosplays and as a maker my head is full of thoughts. keep in mind that ive heard everything secondhand from my roommate (who also cosplays) bc i dont really use other social media (we have a joint cosplay insta i post on sometimes but they do everything else there).

ive been making my own cosplays since i was like 11 or 12, and im lucky enough to have had a mom who knows how to sew and could teach and help me those first few years. my dad is a nerd who was excited when i started cosplaying and going to cons with him and he's always has helped me with props. again, i know im lucky for this, and i had a pretty easy in to the hobby. this is all really just for context for my side here.

cosplay had a bit of a popularity boom over lockdown, because it was a way people could have fun at home, and that's great!! i love seeing people getting into things i love!! especially after being made fun of for it as a teen. but since then, ive noticed that the vast majority of new cosplayers are buying their costumes — and before i go further, i want to emphasize that i do not judge on an individual level whether or not youve made your cosplay, and nobody should. everybody's situation is different and it's important to remember the play part of cosplay. its supposed to be fun — and honestly that's really sad to me. what's even sadder is the amount of people saying things like 'everyone who makes their cosplays are rich' (i am absolutely fucking not, im currently unemployed bc im disabled) or 'if you make your cosplay youre not a cosplayer, youre a cosmaker' (this one doesnt even make sense. why are you alienating the creators of the entire hobby).

i get completely that its an intimidating thing to get into. making cosplays isnt just sewing. its also hair/wig styling, makeup artistry, foamwork, propmaking, etc... the list can really goes on bc it truly can be anything. resin casting, embroidery, beading... it all depends on what youre doing and how you want to do it. and im not saying it isnt a money- and timesink, because obviously you have to invest both of these things into it. but it doesnt have to be all fancy sewing machines and expensive fabrics!

did you know you can sometimes rent sewing machines from libraries? if theres a makerspace near you, thats a fantastic resource (they usually have things like sewing machines and 3d printers, and they usually host classes where you can learn to use their equipment)! youre even likely to find sewing machines at thrift stores! and speaking of thrift stores, bedsheets and curtains make great fabric sources, and if youre lucky you can find a piece you can alter or even just wear as part of the costume! and theres tons of tutorials and resources online for just about everything, even for specific costumes. there are also some good online fabric stores with much more variety and better prices than joanns, and you can look into if theres a place near you that sells recycled and donated remnants/unused fabrics, etc!

and like. idk. maybe thats all common knowledge among the specific group of cosplayers im talking about. theres nothing wrong with still choosing to buy a cosplay. i just ask: do you know how the people who made it are treated at the source you buy from? are they paid fairly? is it made out of cheap polyester and how comfortable is that for you?

i put — very literally, usually — blood sweat and tears into my costumes. im not saying everyone has to do this. im just. the making aspect is the heart of cosplay to me. its clearly not for everyone and thats fine. it just makes me sad to see so many people acting like its some elitist or inaccessible thing when its not

[honeytonedhottie]

HONEYS RESOURCE BUNDLE⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💶

a gift from me to you for the new year, to help give tips that can help u succeed 🫶🏽 a post filled with resources, and advice to help u guys improve in every aspect 💗 i love and appreciate u all and i hope u find it helpful.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ physical movement and activity

find something that u like and thats fitted for ur needs. for me, all of the workouts that i do come from youtube. a girlblogger that always has a lot of workouts to try is @4theitgirls-workouts. to motivate urself to move ur body i recommend buying something cute to workout in because it always makes me feel good. i rly like to do pilates, so since i enjoy pilates -> i'll wanna do it more.

so dont be afraid to try different things and see what u enjoy the most and stick with that bcuz u dont wanna be forcing urself to do something that u won't enjoy/that won't give u the results that u want. if working out in general isn't rly ur cup of tea at all, thats totally okay! try going for walks or start running. maybe try out for a sport or start a style of dance. the whole point of this category is to get urself moving bcuz its rly rly good for ur physical and ur mental health, and it'll serve u in the long run. another youtuber i rly recommend for pilates workouts is madeline abeid.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ self improvement youtubers that i love and watch regularly

the wizard liz

simonesquared

sammy ingram

simmonesimmo

hailey gamba

the freezia

persephonesmind

₊˚⊹ ᰔ law of assumption

of course if u wanna learn about and practice the law of assumption then u can learn and apply thru my advice, experiences, ideas and more. neville goddard is like, the guru of manifesting and hes written a bunch of books, here are neville goddard's books online for FREE so that that then u can learn and see it HIS way bcuz the thing with manifesting is u gotta figure out how it works for you cuz its your reality.

if u like subliminals this is my favorite subliminal maker on youtube. their subliminals r amazing and i enjoy them bcuz they dont have music layered onto it (i like subliminals that have soothing sounds like rain or water or anything asmr). last but not least my absolute favorite manifesting coach/teacher on the whole internet, sammy ingram - literally the best manifesting guide. she rly simplifies things and her channel is full of helpful advice, success stories, challenges and her perspective on manifesting is brilliant so i rly recommend her.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ mental health

journalling is honestly the best thing that i have ever done for my mental health, the ROI that i get from it is actually incredible so i highly highly recommend it. if ur someone who doesn't rly like to write a lot, use ur notes app or whatever just get the thoughts out of ur mind and onto a piece of paper/notes. i understand that sometimes when ur mental health isn't doing too well and u dont feel motivated rly to do anything (like u feel lethargic and stuff) forcing urself to do things ISNT always the answer. i rly recommend having alternate routines cuz we ask a lot from ourselves sometimes so some days, ask a little less.

give urself the break that u deserve. when u feel like crying, CRY. even if its for no reason, the body holds onto pent up emotions so when u cry u gotta CRY. with time you'll find the things that help u feel better. for everyone its different. for me, when my mental health is in a slump what helps me is : 1. doing one thing differently (i'll go for a walk maybe) 2. get ready (take a quick shower, or if i dont even have the motivation to do that i'll do a sink shower) 3. drink a cold cup of water and make myself a meal. dont ever have zero days. always give at least 1% or do at least one thing.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ hygiene

hygiene is so instrumental in mental health cuz like i've said before looking good -> feeling good. i make sure to get ready everyday even if im going nowhere. just bcuz the process of getting ready gives me so much momentum. smelling good gives me so much confidence bcuz im the type of person thats rly rly scared of smelling bad. im a hygiene JUNKY so im always buying soaps and fragrances. when u make self care a daily thing it'll feel so natural. dont neglect ur oral health, invest in quality products that are suited for your needs. be meticulous when it comes to ur hygiene cuz a solid routine is lowkey comforting. i rly recommend korean skincare, indian haircare, african body care, and arabic perfumes and fragrances. some of my favorite hygiene based youtube channels are : SARA BEQELE and anna renns world

₊˚⊹ ᰔ school

TAKE. SCHOOL. SERIOUSLY. the feeling that u get when u get a good score on an assignment or test is unmatched. at the end of the day ur responsible for ur education. it's not hot to be a loser. if ur someone who struggles to stay on top of assignments, write down the assignment as soon as its assigned and at the next possible chance do it. as soon as u get home from school. reward urself for good grades and for ur accomplishments cuz ur AMAZING. study effectively instead of excessively.

pursue excellence always. find ways to motivate urself throughout the school day (for me, i always try and incorporate girliness into school cuz that motivates me) all my pens and pencils and folders are pink and i get myself ready everyday before school. cuz when i FEEL good -> i perform well. if u ever dont wanna study remind urself that studying>failing. advocate for urself, dont be afraid to ask questions cuz ur responsible for ur grade if u need accommodations or longer time to take a test (even if u dont) always set urself up to have the most time possible and the most resources. the resources that u have USE THEM. the goal of studying isn't to "mostly" know the material its to know for SURE. when u can explain something thoroughly, thats when you can know if you've studied enough.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ organization + planning

of course for the new year and for life in general, organization is rly helpful. manage urself mindfully and intentionally. even if ur a messy person, organizing isn't difficult if u do it in a way thats right for you. for me, notion - is literally the best organizational tool. i have an agenda, calendars, school pages, and so much more.

with notion i rly organized my life on a whole other level. aside from notion, the notes app on ur phone is rly useful, when it comes to organizing ur day to day life, i think its important bcuz it helps u to maximize ur time. for planning out ur year, if u find it difficult to stay "on task" or achieve the goals that u set for urself, try this : dont see the year as 365 days, instead separate the year into 4 quarters (90 days each) and in each of those quarters choose one aspect to focus on and pour into. make sure to log and track ur progress on those goals. the idea to this is breaking things down. break down big goals -> to more digestible goals so that then its more believable for u. remember, your limitless.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ nutrition

if ur someone who has bad nutrition, or unhealthy eating habits in general and u wanna change that my biggest advice would be to NOT BE EXTREME. bcuz i feel like if u go fully extreme so quickly then the change isn't sustainable. take it slow. start off by introducing a fruit into breakfast and having a vegetable at dinner, then eating fruit with ur breakfast and having fruit as a snack, and eating veggies with lunch and dinner. ik it sounds repetitive and overdone but u need to be consuming ur fruits and veggies. if ur not eating it with ur meals then maybe have it in a smoothie if that works for u. take supplements for things that u dont rly incorporate into ur diet, and the key to a good diet is BALANCE. dont deny urself food that u love. life is WAY to short to be scared to eat the burger that u so desperately want. its okay to eat what ppl might consider "junk food" but everything in BALANCE and moderation. keep the 80/20 principal in ur mind. 80% of what u eat should be good for u and 20% of what u eat should be whatever u crave. DRINK WATER, dont go on extreme diets if ur not an adult and haven't consulted a doctor it does u more harm than good.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ informative

learn every single day. even if ur not in school anymore. a way to help learn and sharpen ur mind every single day is picking up a hobby that can help u do so. for me, the hobby i have is reading, reading keeps my brain sharp, it keeps me entertained, and when i read nonfiction it keeps me informed. so the hobby of reading has a high ROI. whenever u get an idea of any sort, ACT on it. u dont have to wait a billion years before acting on an idea. when u get ideas, its for a reason, ur mind is brilliant and imagine how many ideas that u wasted. thats why i recommend having a creative outlet of some sort. for me, my creative outlet is my blog where i can come and talk with you guys 🫶🏽 but ur creative outlet can be ur notes app or ur journal or ur sketchbook. just a way to get the ideas in ur brain -> onto paper.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ stuff i wish i knew

ur never ever tied down to one version of urself, u can always change ur mind/opinion, u can create a new version of urself whenever the heck u want. remember that u have free will and that ur always in control. bcuz it is your life it revolves around you and it is your responsibility. its not something to mess around with. take responsibility for urself, ur actions, ur reactions etc.

1% of progress is better than 0%, a little is always better than nothing. ur social anxiety or ur fear of being perceived is HOLDING U BACK. forgive urself for ur mistakes, everything that ur embarrassed of in ur past let it go and LET YOURSELF LIVE. become ur own project, ur own muse and if all else fails (which it won't, you'll be fine and everything will work itself out for u even better than u could've ever imagined) love yourself unconditionally.

[muttlyparasitic]

Im not over here like "incest is so cute" or "🤩 im just so obsessed with how he rapes -insert character-" thats what makes proshippers so off putting and disgusting they romanticize the fuck out of a gross topic, I've never seen 1 proshipper actually write a good story involving their ships and I've especially never seen a proshipper NOT make proshipping their whole fking personality like we all know you can't be that black and white.

Theres 0 interesting story in some shop about lets say slender fking a brother of his, just like making a picture of Jeff the Killer x Homicidal Liu is also just like "why?" Besides you finding incest cute there was no reason why they needed to like each other in a disgusting way and no reason to especially fk each other.

And no I am not getting into the whole "it comforts me" aspect as if that means your valid. You'll get upset with me for saying that then post the next day "I dont exist to protect your feelings" like we can just say the exact same thing back, if you find comfort i prosgipping, no one online or irl needs to hear about it, keep your self healthing to yourself if its actually helping you heal. If it only comforts you when other poeple get to see it and you know it will bring you some type of reaction, thats not comfort, thats just attention seeking.

No one on earth needs to be bombarded with your gross ships just because it makes you feel better, you dont need to be butting fandom tags next to your proshipper tags, you can have them on private account elsewhere that the public dont see it.

It's honestly just like this who self-harm for comfort, no ones gotta see it. Thats blunt but its the truth, no ones gotta see it. No ones gotta read about it, only your friends care about your feelings, the rest of us just hope you get help and wish to move on with our day without getting more of that shoved in our faces.

"Well you still made a story with thay subject matter before, why aren't poeple bad at that, they hate me for my Jeff x Liu ship!" think another big difference between a proshipper and someone that writes an incets scene, beastiality scene, grape scene for their horror story, a writer has content like that in a story they developed and they dont obsess over that one part like its their new baby that the whole block needs to hear about constantly, oh and they also use trigger warnings before the reader gets to read the story and if they do talk about that scene on a post, yall dont put warnings, ever. When a proshipper makes a story, the only shit they post about is that one uncomfortable part, or they make the whole story about that subject and can't lighten up and add more creative subjects to the story, it just HAS to be about this one morally wrong thing that their absolutely obsessed over!

Like really thats why antis think you guys are such freak, you have one personality trait and its making gross content in a way that isn't even good literature writing, you obsess over it like you'll instantly combust into ashes if you dont post about it daily, all the content is shown in good light using words and phrases like "cute" "so ment to be" "adorable" "I giggle at it" your praising a subject that shouldn't be praised and thats why people putside of your proship community dont like you guys, you show this content in such good light constantly that its allowed actual prodophiles and people who are actually full on into those subjects irl into your community, unintentionally you've created such a safe space for those kinds of people because they can talk about it in this good light and just say "oh but I dont support it irl" and lots of people would just easily belive them qhile thats not the reality. Thats the biggest issue. You've created a community that can easily harbor literal chriminals, and you will still stand tall and proud about your incest, pedo, beastiality, grape content thata your so obsessed over, while it gives actual criminals a place to get their rocks off while they don't have their current subject matter of interest with them.

Anyways I'm done ranting now.

[gayspock]

ok 1

blah blah blah all i do is blah blah blah. whatever. i feel miserable as shit. mmmhm ......... oh this too will pass and for what after it. more shit and nothing good and im tired and im sick and i want it to be over i feel everything stetching before me nd i dont want to have to do a fucking second of it, and frankly i didnt want to have to do a second of anything thats come before this and like

i keepfeeling so fucking miserable all i can find myself doing is scrolling forever and forwhat i dont know i dont care . stuck being a miserablefucking git cuz of that just beingstucktheres never anywhere to go or anything to do or any fucking resolution or anything i jsut . fucking wanna sleep and neverrr wake up again why not bro its like its not like it means anything if i dont and if i do so what at least its like gone and over and

ijsut fucking gh. i feel likeeverything i tried to do it jsut isnt right and it just shuts me out more. i feel like eveyrthing eveyrone says and every sentiment i ever fucking hear isjust so much more isolating. and i wish i could just tell people to shut up more. idont know theresalways that stupid fucking shit thatjsut makes it worse. idoes anyone think about all the fucking times youve tried toask people to stop doing the hting that makes it worse and they insist they know better and keep doing it at you and does anyone else feel like theyreso alone in it . becausei dont think i can feel anything any mroe in some aspects of like i dont fucking trust you like in theslightest and i dont think you zactually think of me at all as a person and if you do its like some completely different fuckign entity. not like the standard ways we all have some projection of another person in our fucking skulls, and i also dont mean that in the arsey boohoo nobody fucking understand me way. i dont give a shit any man. i just meani dont know . i dont think this is workingand tis working for everyone else in some fucking capacity .

likesorry my constant rantings.do you ever fcuking sit there and think of all the ways and all the thingspeople say to try and make it better whether it be sentiments passed around online or shit proffessionals say or shitpeople have said to you when youvetried toreachout and again itjust feels . worse. more isolating. and ha ha ha thisis thepoint where people say :) you havetojust accept it:) and yesss its so bad until it gets good YOU IDIOT:) rightyeah ok. ok . anywyas i dontknow. i feellike theres a constant fucking stram of itrunning through my head sometimes all the fucking little failures and things im never going to grapple with all the ways peoplekeep sayinjg fundamentals and insist ifyou dont fit into it youre wrong except haha not that youre just negative and youre being willfully slefdestructive utits like i fucking wish it worked out i dont knowwhat to do i wished any of it fucking meant anyhting ro fucking helped or was meanignful in any fucking wayand wasntjustanother fucking thing that fucking felt like a hammer to the skull and to fuckng poke at day in day out. kill me or whatever

[llitchilitchi]

🐭simply cause we havent interacted lots in a while and even before that you were that friend with a massive account i have, thats pretty scary

if it helps you fight the 'oh no she's too (twitter) famous' aspect of my online presence, I am getting it out for everyone to know that I licked a Yankee Candle as a dare once (I was told not to do it)